#no for real I have watched that youtube video an ungodly amount of times

[ibenology]

it’s just me and the MTV pro-shot Legally Blonde on broadway movie (2007) against the world

#no for real I have watched that youtube video an ungodly amount of times #Christian borle as Emmet Forest has had an irreversible impact on my life #legally blonde #musicals #musical theater kid #christian borle #laura bell bundy #broadway

[alienside]

hi luna vitally important question. for all of your ocs if they were inexplicably youtubers what niche youtube subculture would they be a part of

the way u always ask about ALL my guys. i get to sit here and rant about them for 12 hours straight bc theres so many <3

(also im ASSUMING u mean like. a modern day au. like they live in our world. sorry if that's not the case)

aderyn: fashion vlogger. he'd be so annoying too bc the thing is his goal is to show ppl how to dress for their body type but also their level of comfort w/exposure, the weather, the occasion; like he wants ppl to rly think about what they're putting into a fit instead of just following trends. also he's constantly following keldan around like "let me give you a makeover next time ur in town" and keldan refuses. obviously. they have ongoing twitter beef about it so there's actually a surprising amount of fandom crossover

keldan: travel vlogger. like he lives out of a van/rv so he'd do periodic van tours, show off where he's staying, what he saw, etc. he always posted the videos like two weeks after he was actually there so no one could predict where he was going next. sometimes he does campsite reviews but they're all super vague like "the views were great! bathrooms were kinda gross if ur not a fan of bugs" and everyone's like "what does that mean. how many bugs were there". his viewership is all ppl who romanticize vanlife but would never actually do it.

melati: cafe reviews. luckily she lives in like... nyc or some other large city so there is no shortage of cafes to visit. she'll do repeat visits to cafes if she likes them or if they're the type to do seasonal specials or change their menu a lot. she's also active on tiktok where she does "what to order at starbucks" and it's those insane drink modifications that no reasonable human being would ever actually order. (except if you did for some ungodly reason actually order them, they'd be pretty fuckin good.)

seia: not actually on youtube. he shows up one day on keldan's channel and it's like... kind of extremely obvious that the two of them are traveling together but it's not like he shows up in every single place they visit (is keldan just not filming him? is he really not there? no one knows) and also the two of them never clarify their relationship (also true to canon) so comments are like "theyre dating for sure" "uh you can't just assume that" "theyre sleeping in the same bed tho?" "maybe seia has his own van" "it's homophobic to imply that they're just friends" "can't we just have rep for non-toxic male friendships?" etc etc. seia screenshots the best ones and sends them to the sky sea gang's discord server.

delwyn: daily vlogger, but it's clickbait-y shit like "i almost died doing parkour today" and then u watch it and he actually DID almost die and ur like. how did yt allow this to be uploaded. luckily he doesn't do any of the cringy prank stuff but he doesn't need to bc he's cringy enough on his own. the secondhand embarrassment is so real but he has a ton of followers anyway bc ppl are like "no way how is this guy still alive". it's like watching a train wreck or seeing a car crash. you just HAVE to find out more

chan: chan would have a cooking channel. he'd post recipes and tutorials and stuff and would have a long-running series where he invites other big-name youtubers and tries to teach them how to cook, except theyre always atrociously bad at it and it's funny. 90% of the ppl subbed to him don't cook, don't know how to cook, have never and will never try any of his recipes (even tho he'd make it SOOO easy for beginners) they literally just think he's funny and like to listen to his jokes. there's a small minority of ppl who do try his recipes and post rave reviews on their tumblr blogs about him. he never sees them bc he doesn't use tumblr

junhee: junhee would inexplicably have one of those asmr craft channels. i like to think he's really dedicated to those paper theaters (exhibit a, exhibit b) so most of his content is making those (he does a lot from scratch, zero pattern/template etc, but he also does requests for pokemon cards and stuff like that as well as theme requests. if someone requests like a ghibli movie or maybe a minecraft inspired one he'll take that into account. he's got a whole list he's working through). but he also sometimes does mini diorama stuff (exhibit a, exhibit b). those are extremely rare uploads bc theyre so time and resource intensive but ppl go crazy for them. he's got almost a million subs even tho ppl have never seen his face or heard his voice. he rarely even replies to comments. it's literally like he just logs in to upload a video and leaves again. no one's gonna say he's their fave youtuber or anything but no one hates him that's for sure

sasha: sasha would be a daily vlogger. just like here's my life etc. except they still work in a hospital/medical care so the vlogs are supremely censored bc of hipaa and other privacy policies and also bc some of the stuff they do on the daily is actually gross and would get taken off youtube. they have like max 6k subs but those 6k subs are dedicated. they love sasha's content and are like genuinely invested even tho sasha's extremely vague all the time

hana: hana would literally be one of those tech review vloggers. she gets free stuff and sponsorships etc from cutting edge companies and startups. microsoft sends her care packages. she has like a billion subs. it's like 63% male viewership so she says it's only bc they think she's mildly attractive but all the comments sections are ppl genuinely interested in her reviews and opinions. healthiest yt comment section on the planet no joke

kei: SUPER into astrology. she posts videos like "how to interpret your daily horoscope" and "what mercury in retrograde means for YOU". but she's actually more into tiktok where she does vids like "zodiac signs as vines" and "zodiac songs as hit 1999 singles" etc etc. has a cult following that takes everything she says super seriously even tho she herself is like "guys it's not that serious"

other fun trivia:

junhee has a tumblr that's totally untraceable to his yt account. the last time he reblogged a post was in 2016 and he only uses it to find the recipe reviews ppl post about chan's channel.

the tsh main trio have a weird poly thing going on. they're not out about it but junhee's guested on chan's channel ("this is my bf junhee", zero mention of said bf having a yt channel bc that's how junhee prefers it) and there are brief glimpses of delwyn's filming through the apartment where ppl see the kitchen and are like "isn't that....?" somehow delwyn always sees those comments and replies "idk who this chan guy is :/" and no one can tell if he's being serious

in this universe sasha and hana are madly in love because there's no "you literally killed my brother" "well he came back didn't he?" conflict to tear them apart. they're so gross and mushy about it. sasha catches hana in their vlogs, they do unboxing videos together, and every time they kiss or are generally in love on camera ppl post fan edits on twitter like "omg they're so in love" "get you someone who looks at you like hana looks at sasha" etc.

no one knows hana and kei are friends until they both show up in one of sasha's vlogs. the entire internet explodes bc the whole jokey rivalry their fandoms have built up ("theyre so different they wouldn't get along if they knew each other irl") just crumbles.

if seia DID have a youtube channel it would be asmr bullet journal/calligraphy stuff. also stationery-from-aliexpress unboxing videos. but his current lifestyle (driving across the country in a van with his not-boyfriend) doesn't really suit the stationery hoarding thing. so.

keldan finally agrees to let aderyn give him a makeover and then they DON'T FILM IT. keldan films exactly one video with the Look that aderyn puts together for him and then never does it again. everyone is freaking out about it

#.txt #rabbit-rays #BEN. BENJI. IM OBSESSED #like. genuinely invested in this au now hold on.... hold on. #this is soooooo much fun to think about and genuinely. truly. i love this #i love YOU thank you #i don't think i forgot anything but like.... if i did.... whoops #ttotss #the starless hour #btw there would totally be crossovers #like chan would invite melati to taste test his creations kind of crossovers

[impaulhi]

Stuck

A man sits staring at a blank screen.

No, this isn’t the start of a shitty joke; this is the less than enjoyable experience of writer’s block. After being sick for almost a week during the global coronavirus outbreak, a hypochondriac’s worst nightmare, my assignment of submitting a “long-short-story” hadn’t progressed more than a word. My enemy, the utter loneliness of my blank page, was slowly overwhelming me in my struggle to fill it.

Now I ask you, have you ever thought to yourself, “I am utterly fucked?” Yes? Great! You and I have already found something in common with one another. My blank word document, although daunting, gave me time to self-reflect considering what brought me here? What made me decide to take a story telling course in the first place? A naïve attempt to actually learn something of value in my fourth year of a Communications degree that more likely than not would lead to nothing more than a lifelong career as a Starbucks barista? Probably. But at this moment, staring at my screen, all I could think was why hadn’t I taken a film course where I could coast my way through my last term, achieving an undeserved final grade somewhere in the low eighty range with minimal effort? As I felt myself slipping into a depressive episode after coming to terms with the fact that I was actually going to have to write something creative I decided like any rational scholar to gain some inspiration from YouTube. Like a modern-day Hemingway but without the rum and shotgun, I set off to find my muse.

What happened next might surprise you, but YouTube wasn’t my answer. After hours of “research” I had slipped into the proverbial rabbit hole that is the YouTube recommended section. Like Alice I had stumbled upon a world that was almost familiar yet distant and twisted from the reality I knew and felt comfortable in. Passing through the conspiracy videos explaining how the moon landing was faked and proof that Big Foot is in fact real and thriving, I found myself watching a video of a man excitedly showing off his extensive ant farm collection.

How did I get here?

I honestly wasn’t sure how the last couple of hours had all meshed into a perverted jumble far away from my starting point of Gordon Ramsay showing me how to cook “his favourite simple recipes.” All I had to show from my endeavours was an unhelpful amount of knowledge on the constructing and maintaining of ant farms and a brief glimpse into the bizarre world of conspiracy.

So, there I am back where I started staring at the ungodly sight of my blank page. After complaining about my situation to my mom over the phone I was given the reassuring feedback that the page was a “blank canvas that I can paint in any way I like.” I can always count on my mom for some beautiful bullshit optimism to help me through my work, but still all I could think of was how fucked I was going to be if I couldn’t come up with something soon.

But dear reader, don’t despair because I came up with a mantra that helped me, and it might just help you too so here it is: “embrace the fucked.”

Now I get that you might be thinking to yourself, “Paul, that is the worst piece of advice that I have ever gotten,” but bear with me here. I, through embracing the fucked, have written this beautiful piece of literary garbage that you have unwittingly taken the time to read. I have besmirched the name of one of the greatest writers of all time and no one’s to blame except the professor who had me write this. So, I ask you to take this as a cautionary tale: don’t go looking for inspiration on YouTube because all you're going to find are ants. 

[mediadiscord]

Witchfire - A Game Made For Me

I don’t know how many times I have to reiterate this point, if you show me a game where you get to play a mage you not only have my attention but my wallet is also half way out of my back pocket.  Obviously the developer and publisher of Witchfire, The Astronauts, heard this and aimed to make a game just for me. https://youtu.be/UM8JVyKtzuI In Their Words In I don’t know how many times I have to reiterate this point, if you show me a game where you get to play a mage you not only have my attention but my wallet is also half way out of my back pocket.  Obviously the developer and publisher of Witchfire, The Astronauts, heard this and aimed to make a game just for me. https://youtu.be/UM8JVyKtzuI In Their Words In Witchfire, a deadly war rages between powerful witches and the Church. In this alternate reality, witches are very real and very dangerous— but so is the witch hunter. Armed by Vatican sorcerers, players wield an ungodly array of guns and forbidden magic as they combat dark terrors on behalf of their shadowy benefactors. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N5BZM-UeMHE Seeing a trailer such as that makes me so happy I dropped a ridiculous amount of money on a beefy PC set up that I can play games on but wrote off as a video editing device. There was a lot to enjoy in this trailer. Circling around the enemy as you see it dissolve with a shock spell was a great way to start off. You have the different types of magic that aren’t your only forms of attack. There were a few different guns that look to be from an older era but have the same effect.  From past experiences when I’m juggling guns and magic, the ever-popular freeze and shoot is a great way to minimize your bullet count. The mechanic of literally making your shots count as it can save you from a more powerful enemy, eliminates the option of doing a spray and pray. You may have unlimited bullets, but to chain some melee, magic and critical shots together is going to be a fun task. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_xAzuLnEkQk Finally, we’re getting into magic. Just what I mentioned above is what they are having you do in the game. There are ways to chain spells together to work with the effect of doing some critical hits and the damage looks to be massive. The chain reaction itself from the shock spell traveling from enemy to enemy and turning them into a puff of smoke is something I personally want to experience, but first I went to see how big of a fire I can start by blowing up a group of enemies. Sadly, there is no release date yet, but be sure to follow The Astronauts on Facebook, Twitter and YouTube to keep up to date as well as check back here to see my review as this is a must buy for me. , a deadly war rages between powerful witches and the Church. In this alternate reality, witches are very real and very dangerous— but so is the witch hunter. Armed by Vatican sorcerers, players wield an ungodly array of guns and forbidden magic as they combat dark terrors on behalf of their shadowy benefactors. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N5BZM-UeMHE Seeing a trailer such as that makes me so happy I dropped a ridiculous amount of money on a beefy PC set up that I can play games on but wrote off as a video editing device. There was a lot to enjoy in this trailer. Circling around the enemy as you see it dissolve with a shock spell was a great way to start off. You have the different types of magic that aren’t your only forms of attack. There were a few different guns that look to be from an older era but have the same effect.  From past experiences when I’m juggling guns and magic, the ever-popular freeze and shoot is a great way to minimize your bullet count. The mechanic of literally making your shots count as it can save you from a more powerful enemy, eliminates the option of doing a spray and pray. You may have unlimited bullets, but to chain some melee, magic and critical shots together is going to be a fun task. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_xAzuLnEkQk Finally, we’re getting into magic. Just what I mentioned above is what they are having you do in the game. There are ways to chain spells together to work with the effect of doing some critical hits and the damage looks to be massive. The chain reaction itself from the shock spell traveling from enemy to enemy and turning them into a puff of smoke is something I personally want to experience, but first I went to see how big of a fire I can start by blowing up a group of enemies. Sadly, there is no release date yet, but be sure to follow The Astronauts on Facebook, Twitter and YouTube to keep up to date as well as check back here to see my review as this is a must buy for me. Read the full article

[maiuoart]

Depressed Human.

Today... Was a difficult day.

The whole day, you slumped with a large weight on your chest. It dragged you down, dragged you til you felt like crawling. But you continued onward, had to, needed to.

Today was a day you wish never came, but it came nonetheless. The amount of pain it produced caused your heart to cave into itself, your brain fogging with nonsense, and your ability to process anything dwindled to nothing. 

You didn’t desire to talk to any of your friends, to do your hobbies, work even took a large tool on your shoulders. Though you could crack a genuine smile at your favorite pictures, it only lasted for seconds before you felt like breaking.

For once in your life, you didn’t have the Passion to hold anything. Forced your movements with a fake smile and hoping no one would ask about anything.

It was only until after you were face to face with a familiar tall Skeleton monster, did you feel your mask start to crumble.

“Hey, Russ... How’re you doin’?” Trying to muster as much cheer as you could, you smiled tiredly up at the being.

“s’good, jus’ headin’ out fer a bite...” He motioned in the direction with a soft grin on his fangs. “wanna join?”

Normally you would tag along, listen to his stories of whatever had happened during the day.

“No, thanks... Not into paying your tab for you.” You joked softly, forcing a soft chuckle out. 

All you wanted to do was get into your comfortable bed, curl up with some music, maybe have a few drinks to swallow your pity, and sleep.

Russ simply stared at you with a quirked brow raised, a normal flirty smirk on his fangs absent as he narrowed his sights on you.

“ya sure, Darlin’? got a nice, silly story tha’ might make ya crack a perty smile.” He tried to bargain with you, a natural bribe that would work...

...If you hadn’t had just lost someone close to you.

“I’m sure, Russ... You tell the sweethearts I say hey, alright? I’m-... Just going to chill for a while.” You stuck your hands into your pockets with a grin you hoped was teasing. “Any new ladies there, you hit on them twice as hard so I can hear ‘em swoon from here, huh?”

Due to being in the relationship you were in, you had always found it absolutely hilarious that Papyrus, the Hounddog, could always talk his way into anyones lives. Flirtatious ways or not, he was a smooth talker. 

It was more hilarious when his flirtatious ass got ahold of a very clingy fangirl... You’ve had to chase a few away for him, but he would never learn his lesson. Then it became a game, see how many he could get into a Fanclub about him at the bar...

To say that more than half the city was involved should say something.

With only knowing him for a few months, it was quite amazing how a Monster could do that. It never could work on you, you were as stubborn as a mule when it came to your relationship... Thankfully he backed off of you when telling him that, because he had became someone trustworthy to talk to when you had no one else... He was a good friend.

“oi, no promises... bu’ it’d be twice as good if ya had th’front row to it, huh? ‘sides, got th’whole silly shit on cam...” He took his phone out and wiggled it. “’n don’ say ‘send it’ to ya, cause i need, absolutely fuckin’ need, ta see tha’ face of yers in real time morph.”

“Another time, huh?” You smiled, feeling your heart give a hard stutter that time.

You were getting close before braking, you needed to get home.

Russ gave you a once over, before he gave you a pat on the top of your head. 

“allright... bu’ ya need me, ‘m jus’ a call away, huh?”

“We’re neighbors, Russ... You’re more than a few feet away.” You huffed, amused.

Even if you were trying to hide your cracking voice behind what was left of your facade.

“fair ‘nough, Darlin’.” He shrugged. “catch ya later, huh?”

“Yeah. Later, Papyrus.”

You both walked opposite ways... Running in your case. 

------------------------

It was about 9pm and you were nursing your second drink with your favorite soda and alcohol. You added extra, but the first one you skipped from buzzed to straight up tipsy.

Thats what you get for not eating...

Looking to your cell phone as you sat at your desk, you saw a few missed messaged. Grabbing the accursed item, turning it to silent, you tossed it to your bed with an annoyed huff. No one needed to know about you, no one needed to poke their nosey little noses into your world while you’re breaking! 

You watched youtube, smiling and laughing at your favorite Let’s Players with their friends, watching adorable videos of random baby animals, and any other video that would take your mind off of anything.

The whole time, your face was red, wet, and eyes stung. By your third mix drink, you didn’t know if it was due to laughing so hard at someone tripping and falling down the stairs or you were legit crying at what today was.

After so long, after such a painful decision on your part; Your patiences had run thin, your heart broke for the last time, and the darkness in the room felt so ungodly welcoming; You were done. 

You broke from the simplest thought; ‘I’ll never love again.’ 

You felt your chest shake with a sob as you felt the hole in your heart becoming larger.

A knock on your door made your uncontrollable fits of wheezing and sobbing quiet down, covering your mouth as to silence your lost self. 

You were in an apartment... Perhaps you had become too loud? They would just simply say something off a warning, wouldn’t they? 

...You don’t care.

Turning your laptop off, you crawled into your bed and covered up, leaving the rest of your mix abandoned. You’ll muffle your noises with the pillow from now, your heart pulsing in pain as you whimpered quietly under your sheets. Hoping to whatever Gods above the person would just talk and leave you alone. 

When the knocking stopped, you gave a shaky sigh of relief. Grabbing your phone, you were determined to see what everyone wanted... But your mind was distorted, you could barely type in your passcode correctly.

...Maybe you made your mix drinks a bit too strong... 

Never were a good drinker, anyways. The only reason was to allow yourself to focus on certain things, to relax after a hard day, or just purely to become silly. You were a good drunk, a silly drunk, kind that enjoyed to have fun. 

It would only be if your mind went into the darkness that you could fall quickly to being a sad one... But you had a good control on your emotions. 

Couldn’t down them like others you knew. Couldn’t still function like Papyrus when he could down about 10 strong monster ones. 

That had to have been more magic... Could that liquid even effect him? Oh my god, what if he just pulled a show and had some sort of bucket or something inside his clothing to catch all the liquid!? 

No wonder he could outdrink so many people! Had to be a cheater... 

You found yourself chuckling at the memory, only to rub your eyes to dry them. Everything sucked... Why did you drink again? To swallow your pity? If anything, it was making you feel worse... 

“Emotions suck, man...” You groaned into your pillow, hugging it hard as you tried to stop another onslaught of sobs from why you were drinking.

“i’d say, ya had me worried, Darlin’.” A husky voice startled you, making you yelp and jump. 

Sitting up, your turned your head to view a fuzzy Papyrus standing in your room, wearing a black turtleneck with dark jeans, his chains jingling softly as he walked over. 

“Paps-... Wha-” You narrowed your dizzy vision, the room spinning from getting up too fast. 

“somethin’ was goin’ on outside, some rooms were kicked in. a bit of anti-monsta humans apparently rushed inta th’partment buildin’, lookin’ ta fight... uh, s’i called ya, hopin ya weren’t-... well, hurt.” He sat at the edge of the bed, his weight barely registering to you as you sat on your knees. “when ya didn’ answer, i uh-... heh, came as fast as i could...”

“Th’fuck... Hooman jerks?” You slurred. “I uh... Been in m’room th’ whole time, doode. Didn’t ‘ear nuthin’. Well, cept a few knockins’... bu’ they stopped.” 

“yeah?... tha’s good.” He sighed, but looked confused about something.

Your eyes narrowed before you pointed accusingly at him, wanting to call him out on his drinking bullshit before you forgot!

“Cheat!”

Papyrus gave a disbelief look in his sockets as he watched your face, then huffed with amusement. “...you drunk, Kitten?”

Your cheeked puffed and you pointed right back at him again. 

“Don’ change subject... Ya cheat!”

“okay, okay... th’fuck did i cheat in, Sugah?” He purred, poking your pointed finger with his own as his fangs turned upward in a smirk.

“Drinkin’, ya cheat everyone in drinkin’!...” You playfully swiped his hand away, your scowl quickly erased by your smile. “Bet ya had a bucket inside yer body t’catch the stuff, huh!?” Your eyes went down to his midsection, curious if you could get a hint of a form of a bucket or anything.

You slumped, not seeing one.

Papyrus began to laugh, his voice ringing like bells to your otherwise ringing head.

“oh, noooo... how’ja catch me? thou’t I had m’game all covered, not a lick spillin’ of m’secrets...” He cooed, leaning back on the bed with his smile.

“Just makes sense, I’m onta yooh!” You smiled cheekily, only to blink and rub your eyes, traces of wet tracks still on your face. “Fook, why you here ‘gain?”

Papyrus didn’t answer.

“Paps?”

“y’know... ya never call me Papyrus or Paps unless yer really under some type’a stress.” 

You bit your lip, looking down at your pillow as a hand grabbed your blanket. 

“S-...sowrries.” You grumbled, playing with your sheets. “T’day wasn’t good, didn’ want company...”

“mmm... welp...” His weight lifted from your bed, and you were hoping he would just do his disappearing act to leave you. 

Leave, just like many others.

...Oh god, don’t you start-

He picked you up swiftly, bundling you up in your comforters as you squirmed to protest, but his arms were too quick for you to push off.

“H-heeeh?! P-Paps, th’fuck--” “yer adorable as fuck bein’ drunk, now i see why ya didn’ wanna try ta outdrink me, Darlin.” Papyrus gave you a mocked cradle rock, making you growl but it was lost to a soft laugh as his fingers wiggled into your side from the blanket, making you squeak from the sudden tickling. “such a babe.”

“I swears t’god, if ya weren’t m’friend, I would smack you!” You squirmed again, trying hard to undo the blasted blankets to make your point to free your arms.

“mmmmm... ya could try, bu’ ya couldn’ hit me, even if ya were sober.” He chuckled at your attempt, walking you out of your room and somewhere else. “‘sides, ya seem to be a bit-... bundled up, Kitten.”

“S’no fair! An’ s’no fair you can pick me up! I can pick ya up, too, y’know!” You began to succumb to his holdings, feeling oddly soft the more he held onto you.

“oh, m’so sure ya can... always an Alley cat, tryna prove yer point.” He once more gave you a rock. “bu’, lemme baby you a bit, huh?”

Your brows furrowed as you glanced at him. “Why? I ain’t blubberin’ er nuthin’...” You sulked into the cocoon blanket, forcing the blankets hood up over your head as you glared at him.

What was he up to? 

“nah, thats where yer wrong.” He said, pointing at your chest with his free hand. “can hear yer fuckin’ Soul thrummin’ like a damn siren. if ya can gain my attention, then yer’ll gain otha’s. ‘n trust me, Kitten, a monsta would love ta fuckin’ eat ya up.” He sounded serious, dangerously so.

You stilled in his grasp, your eyes going wide.

“Y-you-... You gunna-” “ya want me ta?” Papyrus gave you a large cheshire grin, and your face instantly flushed more than any alcohol you drank during the night.

“i’d rather gobble ya up than hear some otha monsta did it... heh, ya jus’ too damn cute, Kitten.” He came close and nuzzled into your temple, hosting you up into his arms a bit tighter.

...You were trying so hard to bury your face into the blanket, trying to get away from his cooings and nuzzling, you just seemed to have become lost in a dark tunnel. 

Only Papyrus deep chuckle made you peek from having your eyes closed shut tight.

“Kitten, i’m jus’ jokin’... c’mon, i’d rather beat th’fuckers up who try ta eat cha... i mean, yer taken, right? gotta protect-”

....Oh... That did it.

----------------

Papyrus had taken you to his own apartment, into his room as your sniffling was settling down. You hiccuped and managed to squirm your hands up and over your eyes, covering your face as you whimpered softly as you could, but no doubt looked a mess. You curled into the blanket harder as Papyrus seemed to have sat down, sitting you down in his lap.

His arms were wrapping around you securely, a boney hand coming up and gently running down your hair in a means to soothe you, his jaw against your head.

“oi, s’okay... i’m sorri’, Darlin’... i didn’t-” “N-no... S’okay, like ya knew, ya damn dork...” You choked, a dry laugh coming out as it was replaced by a hiccup. “... m’sorry”

“what’re ya sorri fer? th’fuck? nah, don’ say that.” He chided you gently, running his hands over your scalp. “ya wanna talk ‘bout it?”

Talking would feel good...

You leaned into his touch, his hold, curling up more as you hid your face down into his shoulder, a hand grabbing his sweater as you hiccuped once again.

“N-...no... Not now-” You whimpered as your chest gave another hard twist, making you twitch and push against him more.

God, it hurts... It hurts so much! Why?! Why does it-

“...ya were bonded, Kitten...”

That made you come out of your thoughts. Scrunching up your face, you looked up to Papyrus. “Bonded?... Like-... Like Soul bond?”

“yup... ya were Soulbonded ta yer-... well. ta ‘em.”

“...But-... How? We weren’t-” “Soulbonded is different than yer regula human customs.” Papyrus tucked your hair behind your ear, leaning back as he rubbed soothing circles on your back. 

“when ya Soulbond, it’s-... it’s confusin’ really... plenty of different types, lemme say... bu’ wha’ yer dealin’ wit’-... it’s a type dealin’ wit’ Mates, the best kinds. if ya feelin’ strong feelin’s fer one ‘notha, ya can create a Soulbond, even if ya were far away from th’otha.” He softly sighs, digging into his pocket for a smoke. “it jus’ takes one visit, fuck; one phone call, ta cause yerself ta Soulbond wit’ ‘notha human... s’easy, unlike wha’ monsta’s gotta do.”

After lighting it up and taking a drag, he continued. “Soulbond fer any of ‘em hurts, bu’ what really hurts is when ya separate th’metaphorical string tha’ ties a couple together. siblin’ bonds can be tied, broken, and retied like how Sans ‘n i have... cause we’re stuck wit’ one anotha, we’ll always care fer th’otha. bu’ Mates?... oi, tha’ shit can be dangerous.”

“...Dangerous?” You parroted.

“mhm... when ya love someone, truly adore someone, yer tied. bu’, if they don’ love ya back or someone cuts th’strings, it can hurt so bad, some monsta’s have Fallen Down from it.” He took another deep inhale of his smoke, blowing it out as it danced and took your attention with some more than questionable cloud shapes.

As if they were beginning to tell a story within the smoke.

“ya see... i neva tried any deeper fer ya cause i could see how thick yer string was wrapped wit’ someone else’s was. s’was tied, like a lil’ ribbon wit’ a bow. whoever ya loved had loved ya back jus’ as much... them strings, there?” He pointed to the colorful threads beginning to form. “when their a certain type of thickness, they can be pretty hard ta break. so, th’thicker th’connection, the harder it is fer someone t’come along ‘n break it.”

You choked on a sob when images danced in the smoke, imagines you knew that were you and the one you broke up with, the beautiful strings of both color traits entangling the other almost lovingly.

“means tha’ ya both protect th’otha. when a monsta sees that, pretty much ya ain’ gunna be fucked wit’. our kind respects such a sight, ‘n it kinda makes more than some of us sick ta our Souls. s’was rare in th’Underground... thou’, wit’cha hurtin’ and yer Soul wailin’ as it is, wit’ the string cut ‘n th’Mates string slowly evaporating... well, yer gunna be attractin’ a lot of attention.”

The smoke began to darken, lighter orbs of pairs shown up in the darkness surrounding the two, looking as if they were eyes staring as the two figures separated. Your jaw was clenching, and your heart was wailing to not leave the other.

But it was already going, already done, the strings between the two dissolving as if a bridge was being burned between the two.

“a monsta is made up of Love, Hope, n’ Compassion.” Papyrus waved a bony hand through the smoke, separating one of the figures and waving the other side away. “bu’ the problem wit’ us is tha’ we’ve turned... we’re corrupted, so we got a few screws loose... n’ when a Soul is wailin’, it makes a creature-... well, thirst fer th’ corruption of ones Soul. we desire ta take ahold of it, cause it’s in a vulnerable state of mind tha’ some can’t help but-”

Papyrus’ hand began to curl around the now curled figure, who seemed to be sobbing on the ground, his finger traced over the silhouette and you felt your whole back shutter with something unknown. 

“-want ‘em fer their own.”

Once his hand came around, you suppressed a yelp as it felt your whole body was feeling as if it was being wrapped around. Your heart was stuttering in your chest, your glare moved to Papyrus who was looking at the smoke with an unreadable emotion.

“...they’ll come ‘n ‘gobble ya up’... y’know what i’m sayin’?” His expression softened as he turned his face down to you, the feeling of being squeezed left as his hand rested on your knees. 

You could feel yourself shake under the blankets, new sets of tears on their way as you tried to process what he was saying.

“So... Vulnerable Souls attract-... Monsters, cause they like the Lost?...” Your shaking was speeding up, gulping thickly. “Th-they-”

“whoa, whoa.. calm down, Darlin’. i ain’ gunna hurt’cha.” He chuckled softly, the noise helping ease you.

But not entirely.

“yah, monsta’s will come ‘n try ta gain ya under their arms. they crave that, ‘n some will hurt th’humans worse afta they get what they want, maybe do it ta keep ‘em. bu’ some...”

Papyrus began to undo the blanket from your shoulder, shifting you to sit up right as the blanket fell from your shoulders. He cupped your tear tracked face, looking into your eyes with such intensity that it made you forget your heart turning in pain for a moment.

“some of us... wanna heal more than harm...” He softly whispered, bring you into him softly. “not all monsta’s are crazy... i gotta say some would wanna cage ya up, trap ya in their area, go fuckin’ psycho... bu’, i’d rather... heal ya, Angel.” He softly breathed against your lips, his thumb brushing against your cheek as it wiped away some tears in its wake.

“B-but... That-... Heal how?...” You managed to ask, pulling away slightly as he tried to lean more into you.

Papyrus’ eyes flashed with something that was too quick for you to catch, but his hand came down and gently hovered over your chest, where your heart was twisting with pain and felt as if it would explode.

“heal... yer Soul tha’s singin’ such a sad, sad song, Angel... ‘n out of all th’ monsta’s from Underground... i’m th’one ya need ta help heal ya th’best...” He purred softly. 

You squirmed a bit, trying to pull the blanket back up, but his other hand rested gently on your side, a soft shutter rolling through your body as a gentle pulse of heat began to cover your body. 

...You didn’t realize you were sighing in relief as Papyrus pressed his bony palm against your heart. The warmth surrounded you like a blanket, what felt like flames nipping the bottom of your heart was racing away the harmful knives, making you take a deeper breath.

“O-oh... Lord, Russ?...” You tried, bringing your hand up and gently grabbing ahold of his wrist. “R-russ, what’re-”

“ya feel th’heat, Darlin’?...” When did his skull get beside your ear? “tha’s jus’ how m’magic is... allow it ta wrap ya up, i gotcha... s’allright...” He was talking so gently...

You felt your mind becoming foggy, your body relaxing back into that hold of his that was becoming a quick comfort. 

Nuzzling into his vertebrae, you sighed in relief once more as you felt his overwhelming magic softly enwrap you more... And more... It was becoming too warm, but for right now-...

You didn’t care.

He was making your heart stop hurting, could feel some sort of humming coming from the contact of his bones that synced with his magic pulsing through you like harmony. It was beautiful, could feel every single part of your body that had the slightest bit of pain, throb ever so slightly before it vanished under his touch.

Then, you felt tired.

So tired.

You drifted off in the comforts of bones, clinging onto him like a lifeline. 

-------------------

The next day, you woke up in the same bony arms wrapped securely around you. You were in a different room, the curtains were blacked out as you shifted. Your head didn’t even hurt from what you drank, and you glanced down to your chest where you felt a weight. 

A smile escaped your lips as Papyrus was laying right on top of you, his skull rested just above your heart. It had a small stifle of pain, but it was quickly chased away by something warm...

It was chased away with Russ’ magic.

Gently, you rubbed his skull. He moved a bit, but otherwise stayed fast asleep on you. You gave a soft chuckle and decided to fall back to sleep with him.

Today... Was going to be a better day.

Couldn’t wait to see what Russ wanted to show you, either.

#Self insert #Depressive story #Swapfell Papyrus #A friend in need #A friend indeed #Soulbonding explaination #...Hm #A bit yAnDeRe there Russ? #Nah not even #...Maybe #Lolol #I just wanted to feel soft and needed a possessive take on it #I really wonder what Russ had on his phone #Probably something from doing Truth or Dares ;) #Happy ending #...Did you get Soulbonded to Russ? #Quite possibly #And tbh i would be okay with that #A fucking rebound story ftw

[playthatthing]

boo tube

during quarantine I developed a somewhat unfortunate youtuber habit, which I’d tried to avoid for years. so why don’t i collect some of the youtubers i have been watching.

Karolina Zebrowska - you know her, I’ve been following her for years. Fashion history and historical costuming, heavily memed. The new one about the vintage bridal gown makeover tv show really cut to the quick. I find most modern bridal gowns tasteless and ugly, and this show justifies my hatred completely.

(tangent) If you love historical costume films, btw, frockflicks.com is the place for you. I read them all the time. Their Snark Week posts are gold.

Jenny Nicholson - again, was watching her stuff long before stay-mostly-at-home orders, back when I was still passively trying to limit my youtuber consumtion. Lots of funny and smart criticism of Star Wars stuff etc. (And the famous Joker review that garnered a 10 (or was it 20?)-hour response from a guy who was clearly handling it in a very normal, healthy way.)

Amanda the Jedi - honestly, i only checked her out because she was next up courtesy of the algorithm. I have the feeling she’s one of the people who get a lot of views simply because they churn out so much content, and her analysis is usually not too deep. But it’s comforting to listen to her rage at pop culture nonsense like Goop (and unlike another would-be-funny Goop-basher, youtube superstar JonTron, she isn’t a white supremacist either, at least not that I know. See, one reason I didn’t want to get into youtubers is because the most notorious ones are so awful and I get queasy just hearing about all their bullshit.)

Lindsay Ellis - well-thought-out pop culture essays, a lot of them on Disney and Tolkien movies (why is everyone so into Disney? like i get it but also i do not.) Watching her three-part video essay on why The Hobbit movies were so horrible was therapeutic.

Hbomberguy - his video essay on why Sherlock was horrible was also therapeutic.

Brows Held High - his video on the movie Anonymous is a classic and I’m probs a big loser for not knowing about it before. Fun fact: Anonymous was the first movie I added to my IMDB watchlist. Even though I’ve had an IMDB account for an ungodly amount of time (if it was a human, it would just have become a legal adult this April), I didn’t use the watchlist until the 2010s. And I briefly came across this movie, saw that it starred Rhys Ifans and other actors I liked, an Elizabethan costume drama about Shakespeare, sounded like fun. I never looked deeper into it and I still haven’t seen the film but my god... I just, I really recommend that BHH video. I simply can’t believe this movie exists or that Roland Emmerich is for real.

Patrick Willems - another channel with video essays about movies. Always well-executed and well-argued, even if I’m not always convinced (nope, nobody’s going to tell me most MCU movies are good. How come the ones I saw were all shit then, mate.)

Sideways - all about film music, fucktons of Disney. The video about the aborted Avatar soundtrack is especially fascinating.

#Mentioning Contrapoints and Philosophy Tube will really make me look like i’ve just crawled out from under a rock #so i won't #ive known them for a while ok #or kat blaque #im not ignorant of the ways of the world

[angeltriestoblog]

Your Comprehensive Guide to Passing the College Entrance Tests

College entrance tests season is a time in my life that I look back on with equal parts pain and fondness, which somewhat serves as a justification as to why I’ve been putting off this post for so long. Although I spent many sleepless nights re-absorbing lessons I never even got in the first place—all while having to deal with agonizing self-doubt and anxiety—I guess it’s safe to say that it was all worth it. After all, ya girl passed three out of the four universities she applied for: I have yet to find out if UP is willing to take me under their wing, but whether or not they want me, I can say that I am very much contented with my results.

Since I feel I’m in a position to speak on a topic like this, I’m back at it again and ready to help anyone about to tackle the beasts that are the CETs this year. I’m dividing this post into three parts, which will contain tips on how to go about everything before, during and after taking what most consider to be the most important tests of your life. 

Obligatory disclaimer: This is ridiculously long and not everything that I’ve written here will apply to you, but hey, if I were you, I’d start taking down notes.

BEFORE THE TEST

One thing most people fail to stress when giving advice on this topic is the importance of adopting the best mindset. Understand that the CETs are a very serious and urgent matter, for you are tasked with preparing for the succeeding chapters of your life all within a short time frame, but at the same time, don’t allow the pressure that comes with it to lead to overthinking and comparison that will ultimately distract you from achieving your goal: passing. Stay driven and positive, and focus on yourself.

Now, on to the actual studying part. I’d hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the best way to breeze through these exams without breaking a sweat is by being a good student all throughout high school. Be the type to maintain a stellar general weighted average, keep all notes taken down during the past four years in an expanding file folder instead of using them to wrap dried fish and join as many extracurricular activities as possible. If you’ve already failed at this, it’s time to proceed to Plan B: review school.

I personally didn’t enroll in any classes over the summer, because I thought they only took place during the month of April, which was when my parents had scheduled our overseas trip for the year. Well, apparently, I couldn’t have been any less well researched and by the time I found out, it was already far too late. So, I had made the decision to opt for self-study. For some reason, I was the only one in the household who was worried out of my mind: my parents were very much convinced that I would be able to handle reviewing on my own, and prove that review school was not a requirement for acceptance into prestigious universities. I was touched by their unwavering confidence in me, but every word felt like an additional kilogram I had to carry on my back.

I got by through borrowing old review modules from my dentist (Tita Meng, I have no idea how you’re ever going to read this, but thank you so much for saving my life… and also straightening my teeth) and downloading sample tests from the Internet for me to test my knowledge later on. My efforts never felt like they were enough for me though: I remember looking up the curriculum for each subject I needed to tackle on the website of the Department of Education, researching each sub-topic that was vague to me and Khan Academy-ing my way to proficiency. Definitely an unnecessarily extra way to tackle the reviewing process, but hey, my mind was very much laden with doubt and I was willing to do the most. I also put up cartolinas on my bedroom walls with formulas for different Math and Science subjects, which proved itself useful since I actually spend a decent amount of my time staring off into space.

If the thought of doing all of this alone is stressing you out, then maybe it’s time to go down what is considered by most to be the safe route: enrolling in a review school. Doing so will provide you with all the lessons covered during high school in the form of actual lectures with qualified teachers, and hardbound notes that often come with sample tests that resemble the real thing. It guides you through the application process as well as gives updates on the schedules of most universities, and helps in parts of the test that cannot be achieved by poring over textbooks such as essay writing and even techniques for plain old guessing. All these benefits seem to provide their students with the confidence boost to top everything off, and I admit that I did feel inferior to most of my peers at some point for this reason. They all just seemed so put together, so at ease with their binders and pastel highlighters that it made me go through a period of regret and resentment. Do not let the perceived advantage they have blind you, though: do note that even if attending a review school helps you ace the entrance test, it does not measure your aptitude nor your ability to handle the workload that you will have to face as you make your way in the university of your choice.

Because I had to do everything alone, I had firsthand experience when it comes to waging a war with time: it was truly my biggest enemy during this point in my life. It’s obviously crucial to create a schedule and follow it regularly. If you’re anything like me, you’ve read this in several self-help books or heard this over and over again on productivity podcasts but planning truly is key. First, list down all the topics that you want to cover, complete with the estimated time it’ll take you to master them. Then, distribute them per day evenly so you don’t end up overwhelming yourself and cramming so much information in your head that you barely get to retain anything. It’s important to have a contingency plan ready as well, in case you needed more time digesting a particular topic.

Eliminate all distractions while reviewing. This is a cardinal rule for studying in general, so it will definitely increase in importance during a time like this. One thing I found important is to tell yourself why you have to do it, so it’s easier for you to follow through. For example, I’m pretty addicted to watching YouTube videos, so having to cut down my marathons and look at the number of videos on my Watch Later pile up was a bit painful at first. But upon conditioning my mind into thinking that I’d rather spend my five month summer vacation before college binge watching all the videos I had missed out on instead of looking for a university that was still ready to accept me, it was much easier for me to cut down on it.

Remember to prioritize breadth over depth. Cover as many topics as you possibly can, going over the basic concepts and important formulas. Then, knock yourself out with practice tests so that you’re fully familiarized with them by the time CETs roll in, because you never know how even the simplest questions can be twisted around to baffle you. A common mistake most incoming seniors make (myself included) is overthinking what could possibly be asked and going too into detail when reviewing.  In my defense, it seemed like the natural thing to do during a situation of panic but if I had only known, I would have been able to save so much of my time and devote it to mastering everything I had learned.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help if ever the need arises, whether it be from teachers, friends or upperclassmen. It might come off as a surprise to some of you, but there are many people who will be more than willing to help you, whether out of pity or genuine human decency. I asked tons of my classmates if I could borrow the notes they received from their review center, so I could learn more than I could have on my own (and maybe even compare their progress with mine). Sometimes, I’d disturb them at ungodly hours and call them up on Messenger to plead them to teach me the shortcuts in problem solving, mnemonics or acronyms. I was never the type of person to do that: honestly speaking, it felt like a direct blow to my pride to have to beg for something. But, it was my future at stake and upon remembering that, I no longer felt any shame [shrugs]

On another (but equally important) note: stay on top of your requirements for the different universities you’ll be applying to. Although they don’t normally start until July or August, it’s much better to get these out of the way as early as possible. Take it from me, who ran around Megamall looking for a photo studio a week before ACET apps needed to be passed. Stock up on ID pictures of different sizes, preferably 1x1, passport size and 2x2. Photocopy important documents like your birth certificate and grades forms, as well as your ID from the current or previous school year. Start thinking of who to ask recommendation letters from, brush up on your essay writing and interview skills and work on your CV if needed. Also, have a scanner ready if you plan on trying out for La Salle, since their application process is purely online. Be sure to keep track of your deadlines: don’t wait around for people to remind you, and please please please For The Love Of God do not cram everything until the very last second.

Strive to finish reviewing over summer break so you don’t have to worry about balancing CETs and academics, which is an entirely different playing field. I’ll come clean and say that I failed to do this, because there were still so many topics I couldn’t understand and questions I couldn’t find the answers to, even with the guidance of the Internet. Let me tell you, it was absolute hell as I didn’t have the time or brain capacity to digest lessons both for school and entrance tests. Please have mercy on yourself and focus on the classes you are to take during the school year, flipping through notes and flash cards sparingly when you have free time.

Now for the part that will probably be most useful to you all: the actual subject matter to study, focused specifically on the entrance tests for the Big 4 universities. Don’t use this as the sole basis of your review, since it’s not a guarantee that the topics covered this year will be the same as the succeeding ones. I remember looking up this one CET tips thread which said that the ACET was going to have mostly geometry-related questions. Since Ateneo is my dream school, I spent a ridiculous amount of time cramming everything from theorems to tangents in my head. So, you could just imagine my surprise when I actually took my test and was greeted by a maximum of four geom questions and a predominantly Algebra II and Trigonometry-centered Math portion.     

ACET

Language proficiency

This test will assess your knowledge on basic grammar: correct usage of verb tenses, S-V agreement, analogy-type and a cloze test, where you are required to fill in the blanks with the appropriate word for the sentence. It also included an essay question about a particular word that differed from session to session. I had to make one on the word “superstition”, so I had written something on how I didn’t believe in them because I was raised by my family with a very strong faith in God. One tip people give out a lot is to try and relate your answer to either love for God or being a man for others, but do it only if it doesn’t come out forced. From what I remember, we were given 50 minutes to answer all of this, and I don’t mean to come off as boastful but English is and has always been my first language, so it didn’t serve as a problem on my part.

Mathematical ability

This test is feared most by previous test takers, and it was only when I crawled my way through it that I realized why it has that reputation. It’s composed primarily of basic algebra, algebra II and trigonometry questions, all of which are quite lengthy and require a decent amount of time to think through, especially if you’re not really the best in this subject.

Abstract reasoning

This test… Boy, what do I even say? It requires you to pick out the figure or shape that completes the pattern. There were 30 items all in all that needed to be accomplished within 10 minutes, and I couldn’t tell anything apart from each other. I feel anyone who tells you they took this test seriously and finished it without breaking a sweat is just messing with you. I don’t think there’s any way to answer this test without turning to our old friend (the shotgun method).

Logical reasoning

This test includes questions with a set of premises that you are supposed to analyze, and a list of choices containing possible conclusions that can be drawn from them. Your task is to pick the most logical one, which sounds like common sense at first. Apparently, this was a topic discussed in General Math, so there is a certain set of rules to follow. Not only did I not remember ever taking this up in my life, but I also skipped it during review so I had to borrow my classmate’s book and cram everything I could during ACET week (DEFINITELY NOT ADVISABLE). There was one part of the test that involved a lot of technical terms, which I did not read about or study but thank God ya girl was desperate enough and ended up finding hints in the instructions!

Vocabulary

Pretty self-explanatory type of test, with 25 words in five minutes. It seems overwhelming, but contrary to popular belief, it’ll be easy even for those who aren’t voracious readers.

Reading comprehension

This test will require you to fully understand the message of the text, and apply it practically or draw sensible conclusions from it. I breezed through this one as well, because I’ve been reading since I was in the womb, but this can prove to be difficult for those who aren’t used to it. I’ve been seeing this tip circulating that goes “Look at the questions first before the passage itself, so you know what to find” and although it can fool just about any lazy reader out there, I tried it for myself during the ACET because I was in the mood and it didn’t help me at all. If anything, it just slowed me down because I was doing twice the work: looking at the question then going over the whole thing to find the answer, then repeating the process instead of just reading the text once.

Numerical ability

This test was all word problems—age, work, mixture, speed—with a dash of ratio, proportion and variation. This was the last portion of the ACET, and not only was my brain fried to a crisp but I was also very eager to leave so this definitely made me want to scream as I was taking it. It could have been much easier if I had memorized the exact formulas, and practiced lots so I could work rapidly without sacrificing accuracy.

DCAT

Mema test

I don’t know the actual name of this test, but I called it as such because it was so all over the place it felt like the ones in charge of making the DCAT looked at the final draft, saw they were an entire subtest short and crammed these questions two hours before the deadline. It was a mix of both abstract reasoning and vocabulary, and was generally easy: the AR patterns were understandable and didn’t require a lot of analysis, while the vocab words were very few and quite common.

Math I

I read in this one CET tips post that this portion was, and I quote, “pretentiously difficult and time-consuming” and it’s absolutely true! It’s big on derivations of formulas and advanced concepts in algebra, it barely had any basics much to my dismay. My mental block during this part was at its peak: I didn’t know how to solve anything, so I simply substituted each of the missing values in the problem with a number and worked it around until both sides of the equation were equal. That obviously took a lot of effort, which stemmed from my refusal to let go of an item until I feel like I’ve tried my best in solving it. But, it doesn’t have to be the case for you, especially if you’re terribly pressed for time: don’t hesitate to skip if you can’t move forward!

Math II + logical reasoning

Undoubtedly the hardest part of the exam, because no one saw it coming and thus, no one was able to prepare for it. And to think I was already warned by my friends who took the DCAT the week before I did to review statistics: I went through my notes from Grade 9 on combination and permutation, completely unaware that it was going to focus on hypothesis testing and estimation of parameters, which we failed to cover in Grade 11. I thought I’d be able to get by, I remember even praying that there would be only a few items but the entire test revolved around it so I almost literally crawled my way through. As for logic, it was alright until they started using technical terms like I had no idea what modus ponus (hocus pocus?) is and I don’t think I’ve ever had to study that in my life, so I think it’s safe to say I didn’t perform well there.

Reading comprehension

This was pretty similar to the ACET, so the same description and tips apply. Nothing to worry about.

EAPP/Research

This test was the plot twist of the year: DLSU completely took out the traditional type of English subtest (identifying errors, vocabulary, cloze test, etc.) and replaced it with citing in APA format, the principles of academic writing and the parts of a research paper. I had no idea that this was going to be included, and thankfully, those who enrolled in review centers didn’t either so we were all pretty much on equal footing. But, I walked out of it without a scratch: I guess it’ll be easy for you if you contribute to the making of your research papers, but if you’re a freeloader, ayan diba sinabi ko sa inyo may araw rin kayong lahat O ETO NA YUN

Science

This test covers the four major areas: earth science, biology, chemistry and physics. It was so much easier than I expected, because it only centered on terms and definitions of important concepts. I was most worried about the physics portion, since I’ve always considered it to be my waterloo, so you could just imagine my relief when I saw that it was very formulas-based and could be aced by anyone who took it up in Grade 10. (Super long run-on sentence, I’m sorry) I definitely wouldn’t have been able to survive it without the help of Tyler DeWitt, the best Chemistry teacher anyone could ever ask for – I found him on YouTube during a moment of desperation and binge-watched all his videos the day before DCAT, and he is probably the sole reason behind my success.

Life skills

The easiest and best part of the DCAT, because it’s simply a test of your character. It provides you with a set of situations, and all you have to choose which one best applies to you—so, yes there are no wrong answers. It’s easy to think that the most logical way to answer would be to feign sainthood and pick which one makes you look like an Ideal Lasallian/Catholic/Person, but I advise you to stay as true to yourself as possible. Those in admissions have probably seen many people apply this strategy in the past, and will most likely appreciate your honesty and view it as a way of seeing a true glimpse of your character.

UPCAT

Language proficiency

I think I was only sure of about 75% of my answers in this test, and to think this was the easiest part of the UPCAT for me as language is supposed to be my forte. Although it revolved around the basics—identifying errors in sentences, cloze set, rearrangement of sentences to form a paragraph and vocabulary—it came in both English and Filipino, which really tired me out early on.

Science

Hardest test of them all, to the point that taking it felt like my brain was getting hit by different trucks all at once. It covered all four major areas, including earth science. There were a ton of tables, graphs and diagrams that needed to be interpreted, and experiments to be analyzed: it’s big on practical applications and understanding of concepts. Don’t memorize any formulas, acronyms and mnemonics as you definitely will not need it at all.

Math

This test ran through a little bit of everything: from basic algebra to geometry, trigonometry, word problems and even statistics, sequences and number theory. It’s important to memorize all the formulas and learn how to solve problems fast even if they’ve already been twisted around. Math has never been my strong suit, so at this point, I was very close to hyperventilating. I even remember shading the wrong circles for ten questions in a row because I skipped one item. I also took around three bathroom breaks at this point, and spent 30 seconds sat on the toilet praying.

Reading comprehension

This was the first time I ever loathed this kind of test, when it’s supposed to be my strong point. It’s just that the previous subtests were so mentally and emotionally draining, that I didn’t have the brainpower to tackle it. It didn’t help at all that the passages chosen for the UPCAT were not the usual narrative types that are actually entertaining to read, but were incredibly information and detail-heavy. (They made really good memes on Twitter, though: no one was over the patis, newsboy or Super Ferry 9 for a long while.) The best thing to do at this point would be to go for the easiest and shortest ones first, to give your brain time to repair and prepare itself.

USTET

Mental ability

This test seeks to assess your common sense through a mix of logical reasoning, analogical and basic language and arithmetic problems. I don’t think I have to give you tips about this part at all, because it’s that easy.

Science

This test also includes question on all four major areas, but the main difference is that there are close to no practical applications of concepts – surprisingly, UST only cares about the definition of terms. Thus, intensive review probably won’t be needed: you could just skim through your notes from junior high school and have a good grasp of what’s going to be included.

Math

This test had mostly basic algebra and geometry, as well as some word problems – nothing too difficult. One other fun thing was that there was so many of the same type of question, so if you have the formulas memorized and a certain technique in answering, you could get so many (if not all) correctly.

English

This test focused mainly on basic grammar, figures of speech and subject-verb agreement. There was also a tiny part about oral communication and research, which I wasn’t able to prepare for but it’s a good thing I actually bothered paying attention to my teacher in Grade 11 or else I wouldn’t have been able to answer a thing.

THE DAY BEFORE – DURING THE TEST

Now, normally people would tell you to rest the day before any big test: drop all books and notes and mentally psych yourself for the battle up ahead in the form of face masks and comfort food. Although it sounded incredibly tempting, I obviously didn’t follow it because I was running short on time and had so many things I had yet to fully understand. Contrary to popular belief, I didn’t experience any adverse effects and even retained everything I had crammed into my head. So, you’re technically still allowed to review: run through flash cards and try a bit more practice problems if you wish. The only thing you have to make sure of is that you do not stay up late: sleep is crucial for memory retention and BASTA PARA DI KA LUTANG, and you do not want to realize that you’ve taken it for granted on such an important date.

Pack all your essentials the night before in (preferably) a small backpack that you can easily lug around. Bring two #2 Mongol pencils, an eraser, your test permit, a school ID just in case and food to snack on: my personal favorites of the season were seaweed crisps that I got for a buy one, take one deal in Robinsons Supermarket, raisins and trail mix. Scientific studies in the past have claimed that chewing motions can help stimulate your brain, but I just believe it just doesn’t feel right to engage in battle on an empty stomach. Coordinate with friends who’ll be in the same testing center as you, in case you won’t be able to survive in such an environment without someone to sympathize with you. Personally, I didn’t bother meeting up with friends for three out of my four tests because I wanted to feel independent and possibly run into new people.

If you’re anything like me and you hold on to God for dear life in almost every situation that brings you difficulty, don’t forget to pray for enlightenment and the capacity to accept His will, whatever it may be. As much as possible, try to hear Mass the day before your entrance test. Funny story, I was supposed to do this on ACET Eve, but we got stuck in traffic and missed the opportunity to. I ended up running to my parish while the staff were closing it (I didn’t even know that was a thing – what about the troubled souls who need guidance in the wee hours of the morning!) and muttering the most desperate prayer under my breath in a minute. I even lit a candle outside because I wanted to pass Ateneo that badly. Looking back, I found that it helped me lots because I was able to lift up all my worries to Him so I wouldn’t have to bring them along with me the next day.

On the test day itself, the best weapon to have in your arsenal is a good mindset. Walk into the testing center like you already passed, stroll along the corridors like it’s your first day in that university and look at every question as another step closer to freedom. Do not overthink or panic: I know it is much easier said than done, but it won’t hurt to fake it till you make it (sometimes, in situations like this, it’s the best option available).

Keep track of time limits: don’t be afraid to glance at the wall clock or your wristwatch from time to time so you can pace yourself properly. Don’t take too long on one item: if you don’t know what to do with it in 20 seconds, just come back to it when you have extra minutes to spare. If you’re not sure about the answer to an item, make the most intelligent guess you can by racking your brain for the very limited stock knowledge you have on that topic. Choose one letter to be your go-to choice if you really don’t know the answer: mine was C (for Christ, truly) although I don’t know if that’s still a wise decision because universities might start picking up on this strategy.

Look back on all your answers: if you have the luxury of time, re-read everything from the instructions to the passages to the choices provided, because sometimes, even if you were 110% sure of what you were answering during that moment, you may have missed something important. If you happen to be one of those beasts who come prepared enough and you’re completely sure of everything already, catch a quick nap to recharge those batteries instead of scouting for attractive fellow test-takers. I swear, there will be many more of them in college: at present, it’s best to exhaust all efforts into actually getting a university.

AFTER THE TEST

The minute the proctor makes you put your pencil down one last time and submit the questionnaire forward, let it go. Completely forget that it happened: don’t spend the succeeding days discussing answers with peers, as it will almost always end with you regretting things you can no longer change. Do not keep a countdown until judgment day ticking in your head either: choose to take this time to let your life return to its normal state. Shift your focus back to your academics for the school year, and be preoccupied with your interests once again during your free time. Remember to treat yourself as well, because we all know it’s not easy to study while simultaneously worrying about your future. After all my CETs, I made sure to eat out with my family and spoil myself with chick flick marathons and skin care products. Most importantly, be sure to keep praying as it is the key to accepting what happens in the future and regaining peace of mind. As cheesy as it sounds, trust in God’s plan for You and know that He has a reason for everything that is about to happen.

Now, on to the final stretch: the release of results. (This is a pretty timely thing to be talking about right now, since as of this writing, I’m waiting for UP to make a move within the week) If you pass your dream school—or any university for that matter—congratulations! Your hard work has finally paid off, and the promising future you’ve built up in your head is slowly turning into a reality. Don’t forget to thank all those who made this possible for you: God, your family, friends and teachers who believed in you through every sleepless night and mid-morning breakdown. Remain humble though, and be careful not to gloat in front of those who didn’t pass. I know you’re not really obliged to act a certain way to please them, especially during a time as joyous as this, but it’s all a matter of empathy: I’m sure you’d feel the same way if the roles were reversed. One thing you’re left to decide with if you’re lucky enough to pass more than one college is where you’re headed off to. Personally, it’s course over school: go for the program that suits you best and will help you pursue the career path you wish, since that will do you more good in the future than the reputation of any institution. If you are not entirely convinced by that spiel, do not hesitate to ask help from those you trust most: preferably family members, teachers and counselors. I left out friends, because I don’t think it’s a wise decision to choose a specific school just because that’s where they’re headed.

If you fail to make the cut, however, indulge in your right to cry right now. I’m sure that it must be disheartening, planning out a future in a school that ended up “rejecting” you in the end, but news flash: the race does not finish here! Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and get ready for the results of the other schools you have applied for. Be sure to surround yourself with only people who are capable of uplifting your spirits and helping you believe in yourself during such a trying time. If the worst case scenario happens and you are left with no college at the end of the day, it’s time to get hustling: look for universities that are still accepting applications (some schools out there have entrance tests every month, and results come out instantly), or send in letters of appeal if ever you truly have your eyes set on a specific campus. That’s not something I have much expertise on though, but almost everything you will need to know is on the school’s official website.

And, there you have it! Everything I could tell you about the college entrance tests! I spent approximately three days trying to kick my writing slump in the ass: my eyes hurt and I may be suffering from carpal tunnel but all of that means nothing as long as I’ve been able to guide one hopeless soul out of the dark. (Yes, I patterned that after my comprehensive guide to surviving Grade 11 – my brain is dying, and I have no time to think of an ending catchier than that.) I’m on summer break now and I’ll be going to Korea next week, so expect a lot of lighter and more amusing content!

Stay in school, kids!

Angel

#angeltriestoblog #cets #college entrance tests #philippines #upcat #acet #dcat #ustet #cet tips #life dump #recs

[ugh-supersoldiers]

The purest thing in my life is my love for Sebastian Stan

I’ve come to this realization in the last few weeks of my life, let me explain how:

For those of you who don’t know, I moved into university at the beginning of September. I’m a stressed person on your average day, but for the entire summer after graduating high school, I was an utter mess. I cried almost every night in the month before moving. I was going to be four hours away from home, at a school that none of my friends were going to, without my boyfriend whom I’d been with or two and a half years to help me channel myself socially, and was going to a prestigious school and was going to be doing work that was probably a billion times harder than anything I’d done before.

To be frank: I was scared shitless and had no idea how the hell I was going to make it out alive.

During orientation week, I cried myself to sleep every single night. I was terrified of the people on my floor who had seemingly already become fast friends whilst I just sat back and didn’t talk. Not to mention the constant need to introduce myself to about fifty people every day and the impending fear that perhaps I just wasn’t cut out for university after all.

I remember very clearly, the night before classes officially began, I sat on my bed, crying my heart out alone in my dorm at some ungodly hour in the morning (so I suppose it was technically the day classes began). I didn’t know what to do, I couldn’t call Jack (my wonderful boyfriend who loves me to death) because, even though I knew he’d pick up, I couldn’t bear to wake him so early on a school night. I’d made a few connections with people on my floor and in my frosh group, but I was terrified that I wasn’t good enough for them because I wasn’t outgoing enough, wasn’t confident enough in myself to properly fit in.

Then I glanced over at the pillow sitting next to me, one with Seb’s face on it (which was actually a very joking anniversary gift from Jack, which he gave me with a smug smile and a cocky ‘I know what my girl likes’ that now holds copious amounts of sentimental value) and I thought about all the times I was stressed in high school and would watch videos of Seb being a complete goofball. After a while of debating, I unlocked my phone and ventured into the realm of YouTube, praying that this would work the same way it did for me before.

So I searched for as many ‘funny moment compilation’ videos as I could - and was intrigued and slightly shocked to find that I’d actually already seen most of them - and began my marathon. Within minutes of the first video, I felt a huge smile pull all the way up to my ears, seemingly out of no where. There were still huge tears stains on my cheeks from earlier, and yet here I was, sitting on my bed grinning like an idiot as I watched Seb mention for what must’ve been the hundredth time that he had to lube his way into the fake metal arm. But here’s the real kicker, then I started to laugh out loud so hard that I began to cry again - this time for much more joyous reasons. For the first time in months I felt carefree, and more importantly, I felt like myself again.

I felt like I could do anything, and I was able to fall asleep feeling more at peace than I had in longer than I could remember. When I got up that morning, I went to my lectures scared out of my mind, but with a reassuring little voice in the back of my head reciting a comment he left on a fan’s instagram saying, “Go forth. Go forward. Take a few breaths and onwards we go. There’s nothing more heroic in the world then that.” And I believed every word.

That night after I reluctantly did all of my readings, I decided to message in my floor group chat to see where everyone was. I found out they were all hanging out in someone’s room, and I willed myself to open my door, even though every bone in my body was telling me to shut it closed again and stay in the safety of my dorm. I walked down the hallways slowly, but it felt like too much so I turned back into my room. Then I tried again, but did the same thing. This went on another two or three times before I finally whispered to myself “Go forth. Go forward. Go forth. Go forward. Go forth. Go forward…” Over and over again. I think this worked both literally and emotionally, because the next thing I knew I was standing at my floormate’s open door. A chorus of ‘Gracey!’s was all it took to affirm my decision to push through.

Since that day, I’ve been to every one of my lectures, done every reading, found my passion in my drama lectures, interviewed with a local divised theatre company (and was recently offered a job!), and made some of the greatest friends I’ve ever had on my floor. 

Sebastian Stan, without even knowing it, has completely and utterly changed my view on the next four years of my life.

And here’s the thing; he may never know it, and that’s okay. This is just one story out of the thousands of lives that he’s touched with his wise, and resoundingly beautiful personality. 

So here’s my advice to anyone struggling; find your person.

Mine is Sebastian (and Jack, of course), and yours might be too, but maybe not. Find someone who puts a smile on your face when you think you’re incapable of even grinning, someone who makes your heart jump a little bit whenever they do something new, someone who you think is probably the sweetest person in the world. Find them and hold on to them, even if it’s from a distance.

All you have to do is pick someone that you know in your heart would be just as happy reading something like this about them as I know Sebastian would be reading it about him. 

Go forth. Go forward.

Never give up, you can do it, sometimes you might just need a little support from your sunshine to keep going when you’re at your lowest. And that it exactly what Sebastian Stan does for me. So thank you, Sebs, you’re my hero.

#sebastian stan #bucky barnes #chase collins #jack benjamin #sebstan #seb stan #sebastian #captain america #mcu #marvel #bucky #bucky x reader #sebastian x reader #bucky barnes x reader #sebastian stan x reader #chris evans x reader #steve x reader #steve rogers

[paixen]

@therealjacksepticeye 

I just watched your Far From Noise video and wanted to say thank you, because I felt that I really needed that video about as much as you did. I consider myself fortunate enough to not have dealt with mental health issues to the extent of a lot of others, but despite this, when we got to the point where the topic of not being creative/smart enough in school, my eyes actually leaked! Which never happens during my YouTube time. :O

I recently transferred to a different university in a different country with higher academic standards and have been... struggling. I’m a person with high self-expectations, because I know I can meet them if I work hard enough. I also feel like I’m under an immense amount of pressure, being from an immigrant family of not-great socioeconomic status, living in the US where tuition is ungodly. My family is incredibly supportive and will never say that these are things that I should worry about, but I still do because I care about them, not to mention that it’s REAL hard not to fear for your future at this point in your life. 

The fact that I recently haven’t been able to come remotely close to my ideal academic standards has just been destroying a part of me. I know it’s partially due to reasons out of my control, and partially from my own cyclic discouragement leading to disappointment. It also doesn’t help that my peers aren’t having the same issues and in fact sometimes regard me with subtle, not-so-subtle distaste because I don’t understand things that they consider elementary. (e.g. One of my peers said verbatim “oh yeah, NaOH is a very hygroscopic base. You didn’t know? That’s common sense for babies!” -  eugh.) I even went to a school counselor and they essentially told me to get my shit together then showed me to some resources that I can’t financially afford to “help me out.” I’ve also had this anxiety that my older friends won’t believe me when I say I’m struggling so much and that my newer friends won’t believe that I was ever capable of higher achievement, so I haven’t talked to anyone yet. I’ve been feeling like an inferior idiot these days and I know that’s absolute baloney. It’s gotten to the point where I often have to convince my half-dead self that getting sleep and eating are indeed important things that I should do, especially since I’m a nutrition major! So yeah... I haven’t been in a great place.

Your video reminded me to take a moment to breathe, to step back and see the bigger picture, to enjoy the smaller things in life as they come, and that my current problems aren’t permanent even if they are the biggest part of my life. I’ve been neglecting these things and it’s evidently been taking a toll on my typically positive demeanor and even my relationships with others. It’s honestly been the most therapeutic thing I’ve needed in a good minute and I really appreciate it. I’m feeling more encouraged and will do my best to talk to someone soon, because it’s important.

Again, thank you Jack for taking us all on this experience together. (Also kudos to the game developers for making such a profound game!) Here’s to keeping positive! :)

#long post #personal #jack i don't expect you to see this let alone respond #it just feels good to rant to someone i respect so thank you for being that person

[alshmitty]

A Successful Habit

It has been an eventful five months. In that time my sales are up 25% for my kitchen design job, I have completed more real estate deals I will inform you about, my partner and I opened another business, and I was promoted to a coach in the real estate investing institute I am a part of. It is one thing to write paragraphs to help people, but it is another thing to truly be respected and appreciated by your peers. Knowing your hard work pays off is one of the best feelings one can encounter, I believe.

               I want to get back to basics. Back to what I intended this blog to be about.  A tool people can use to get to where they want to be. I truly believe the thing that stops most people from being financially free or just doing whatever it is they want to do, is not knowing how to do it.

I remember wanting to be free. Be free to do whatever I wanted. Whether that was sleep in, hang out with my friends, or go on vacation with my family. But what I didn’t understand was how it was humanly possible to be in that situation without working more. And when you work more you spend more time away from things you love to do. And once you’ve saved up enough to do whatever you want to do you spend all your money and now need to start over again.

“Is this it? Is this how people do it?”

I knew people were more fortunate and smarter than me and I began to believe the only way to truly do what you want to do is to be born with an ungodly gift or fall into the hands of a super wealthy person who just wanted to give me money…yeah right.

               It’s tough. I believe most people want to do something but don’t know how to start or get to where they want to be. Luckily, I was fortunate enough to grasp the potential of real estate while I was in college. But it isn’t enough to grasp the potential. That’s only worth a smidge of importance. Whenever I see people fail or complain about the inefficient amount of money they make, I always think, “What are you doing to improve your situation?”

               Almost always, the answer is nothing.

               I’ve thought about this for a very long time. In fact, I find myself thinking about how to solve this problem at least ten times a week. What I’ve found to be the most common method amongst people who have accomplished their dreams is quite simple. Whatever it is you want to do, whether it’s a master sewer, comedian, or a successful real estate investor, all individuals successful in their desired field, surrounded themselves with people who were better at that than themselves.

               If you want to be a comedian, seek out the best comedian in your area. If you want to be a master sewer, takes lessons. Next, you go a step further. If you go to sewing lessons, speak with the teacher. You ask her who she learned from. Who taught her all her tricks. Next, you go to that person and learn from them. You must always be in search of the next best thing.

               That Is the same approach I have taken, and it has been working very well. If a year and a half ago someone came to me and told me I’d be teaching students how to wholesale and acquire off market properties, I would have told them they’re nuts. I started watching people on YouTube videos explaining how to acquire properties truly believing I would never be in their shoes. In fact, one real estate investor sent me his eBook and I emailed him back saying, “Thanks! Maybe someday I will be worth as much as you…probably not!” Now, I tell myself I’m going to be worth ten times that investor.

               Why? Because I have surrounded myself with incredibly successful investors who have taught and given me the resources to propel my skill and knowledge to the next level. Have I settled? No way. I am always looking for people better than my existing mentors to learn from and I’ll find them.

               One of the biggest keys to success is first deciding what you want to do, or what problem you want to solve. The next is coming up with a plan to get there. I contacted a friend of mine who had a mutual interest in real estate. From there I attended seminars, went to local real estate meetings, joined real estate Facebook groups, and established relationships. If you want to do something seek out individuals who are already doing it. And doing it well! Once you find them, surround yourself with them as much as possible. You’ll start acting like them, thinking like them, and making money like them.

               I know a person who complains about not having enough money. What does this person do to fix that? Nothing. Sleeps in until noon, plays video games, and eats frozen pizzas. If this person was to surround themselves with an individual doing what they wanted to do just once a week, it would start to change their life. Unfortunately, this person does not have this mentality and likely doesn’t know anyone urging them to do so.

              Now i realize that is difficult for most people to do; identify what it is that you want to be doing. So to help you identify what that might be try this - pick a person you admire. Maybe it’s a friend or maybe it’s someone on social media. What is it that they do? Obviously it’s something that attracts you if you admire them. If so, surround yourself with that person. Learn from them, duplicate what they do, and perhaps that will give you a better idea. 

                Next, my favorite, pick someone you’re jealous of. To be honest i am no longer jealous of anyone. If i see someone accomplishing something or living a life I want I immediately message them, or call them, or set up a meeting with them because...I want in! Don’t waste your time being jealous of someone because they have what you want! Take action! Join them and provide value for that person to accept you! Figure out what they need, how they need help, and plan accordingly. Next thing you know, you’ll be winning along side of them . 

               My partner and I once scheduled a meeting with natural gas drillers because we saw what an amazing life style this gentleman had. You cold have decided to be jealous of this man and resent him but what good does that do? That only deepens you into a greater depression. Why not join forces? It didn’t matter we knew literally nothing about natural gas drilling we wanted to surround ourselves with winners! It’s contagious! In the end we decided not to explore more into natural gas drilling simply because we believe in commitment. If you want to be great at something it really helps to focus strictly on that. So we chose real estate. 

               Get out there! Think of whatever it is you want to do and find that web and community of people in your area. The most successful people are typically the ones most willing to help. It’s a fool proof system to begin your journey to self-fulfillment.