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mossfrg · 11 months

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Jersey Gotham

Okay as someone born and raised in Jersey, I feel like we as a fandom are missing out on truly Jersey-ified Gotham. Like, c’mon, Jersey Girl Brucie Wayne??? So here I am to present a list of things I need more of because god damn it make Batfam— mostly Bruce, Jason, Tim, Steph, and Duke— Jersey (all based on my own personal experiences/real things that have happened to me):

Bruce cannot pump his own gas. He just. Doesn’t know how to. It’s not like a rich person thing, he just never learned cause he’s from fucking Jersey and never leaves Gotham. Jason didn’t know how and Talía lost her shit “How??? You are child superhero??? Who died and spontaneously came back??? But you can’t pump gas??” Tim kinda knows cause of Titans but again, he never really had to. (There’s a Twitter threaded dedicated to the Wayne family titled “is this rich or Jersey”). Steph and Duke can but they both pretend not too.

There have been fist fights over whether it’s pork roll or taylor ham. Jason and Bruce are very adamantly pork roll like the good Southern Jersey boys they are— it’s the one thing they can agree in most days— but Tim is taylor ham. Steph and Duke, despite being South Jersey, like to cause chaos and flip sides constantly. Dick, Damian, and Cass couldn’t care less.

The Absolute Hatred of New York/NYC. Doesn’t matter which kid it is, Bruce (and Alfred) got them all on board with this. Don’t even get them started on the Statue of Liberty; it’s a Wayne family tradition to try and buy it from NY because technically it’s more in NJ than NY and it’s closer too. They’ve yet to be successful but Bruce has hope for when it’s Damian’s turn.

And bc of this hatred of NYC comes the support of Philly!! None of them are super big sport fans, but they do cheer for Eagles, 76ers, and Union. Bruce, thanks to Alfred, is a big fan of soccer (“it’s football, master Bruce, I didn’t raise you in a barn”), and is a member of the Sons of Ben. He can be found in the River End of the stadium with Jason cheering for Union at pretty much every home game. There are multiple videos of Brucie Wayne and Jason Wayne screaming at refs, launching fireworks off the roof, and cursing out opposing teams’ players. Duke and Tim can be found 76ers games, while Steph frequents Eagles games.

Accents. Pls for the love of god give those boys (and Steph) accents. They are from New Fucking Jersey. They say “cawfee” and “tawlk.” They pronounce 0% of their t’s in the middle of words— kitten is ki’en, Trenton is tren’in. Jason and Steph drop letters when they gets pissed, Bruce slurs words, Duke and Tim drop passive-aggressive “y’all’s” to piss people off.

Driving. Now it’s not that they’re shit drivers, it’s that everyone else is a shit driver, and it’s not helped that majority of them learned to drive in the Batmobile. Steph has a loudspeaker on her car and frequently yells “fucking Pennsylvania turn your goddamn blinker on!” while driving. Bruce has a room in the manor dedicated to his speeding tickets. Tim as gotten into multiple fists fights at lights because people were driving slow in the fast lane. Jason is infamous for doing the Jersey Slide.

Jason, Tim, and Steph have gotten mugged before. They talked their way out of it and gave tips to the mugger. Bruce has kicked a rabid raccoon while walking home before because what else was he supposed to do? Duke has ordered a “pork roll egg and cheese on an everything” before in Not-Jersey and cried because they don’t have it. Several foreign benefactors of WE have asked for translators at meetings with Brucie cause Brucie’s accent is so thick and exaggerated. IN CONCLUSION: making Batfam (and gotham) Jersey is funny as hell and presents so many good opportunities. Make Batfam Jersey! (again these are all just my personal experiences, big state yada yada, different experiences, blah blah idgaf I jsut need batfam fist fighting over pork roll)

#batfam #richard grayson #bruce wayne #brucie wayne #jason todd #tim drake #stephanie brown #duke thomas #cassandra cain #alfred pennyworth #gotham #Please make them Jersey #Gotham is literally in Jersey #Make batfam jersey #Yes I did kick a raccoon once worth it

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nicksbestie · 2 months

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Hey! Could you write one where Matt is having really bad anxiety because of the Wheel of Doom video (the one where he has to eat ketchup) and his girlfriend is super comforting and takes care of him if he’s sick after?

Anxious - M. Sturniolo

Summary : Matt hates the videos that make him feel awful, but you always know how to make him feel much better <3

Pairing : Matt Sturniolo/Reader (romantic)

Warnings :

Word Count :

A/N : As a picky eater this was an amazing req to write <3

There were some videos that Matt absolutely hated filming. He enjoyed the general idea of the videos, he even enjoyed watching other people film and create them, but he really didn’t like doing some of them himself. Unfortunately for him, he was often outvoted on those videos, two to one, since Nick and Chris were normally up for just about anything. This Friday’s video was one of those kinds of videos, and Matt was trying not to freak out. They were filming a Wheel of Doom video, and there were very few good options to land on. He knew he would have to be incredibly lucky, and he wasn’t sure how long his luck would last before completely running dry.

It started off okay, with him landing on the “water for a week” slot. It was frustrating, because of the fact that he had just finished doing exactly that, but it wasn’t awful, nor was it painful. He was okay with that one, but it did little to settle the anxiety swirling in his stomach. His second turn went even better, with him landing on an already empty spot, and he got to sit that round out. After the third turn, when it landed on one of his brothers getting to post on his story, his anxiety was starting to level out, but he was still slightly worried about what was left on the wheel.

His fourth turn kept him out of trouble once again, landing on an already empty spot, and he continued to watch his brothers turn. The same thing happened again for his fifth turn, and as things disappeared off of the wheel he began to think that he could get through this, hopefully avoiding any of the bad choices that were left. He was beginning to enjoy himself, especially when Chris landed on the slot of “100 pushups”. However, as there were only a few options left, his anxiety was beginning to race again as one of the options that he really did not want to do was left on the wheel.

Chris was still finishing his pushups, and Matt was hiding his anxiety behind laughing at his brothers, trying to be supportive in some clips, keeping up their usual banter. His turn came dangerously close to landing on a spot filled with a nasty challenge, and you could easily see the relief on his face. As they continued to spin, he clarified in the video that he couldn’t stand the ketchup challenge, and he was really hoping that someone else landed on it before he did. Unfortunately, his luck had run out, and it finally landed on the yellow space as he stared at it blankly.

Chris was drinking his egg challenge before Matt had to do his consequence, and that time was simply causing him to freak out more, his nervous laughter easily heard in the background as he watched the way Chris was reacting. He was talking to Nick, attempting to distract himself as Chris finished his consequences, and before he knew it, he was sitting in the same spot that Chris once was, staring at a small fry that was almost halfway covered in ketchup, regretting every choice he’d ever made.

Just looking at him, you could tell that he was completely freaked out, hating having to eat things that he didn’t like. He had told you about the video that he was planning to film, and you had been there, behind the camera, watching the whole thing, as you were for a lot of their content, laughing along with them, but also knowing that this was a very real possibility of him having to do this consequence. So, you were off camera, but right there in case something went wrong and he needed you. You had also heard Nick say that the camera was dying, which helped in some ways because you knew it would get Matt to quickly eat it, or spit it out, and then he’d be done with the video and could get off of the camera if he needed to do anything more drastic. Chris was yelling at him to swallow the french fry once he finally ate it, and he immediately got off of the camera as soon as he was done, and he disappeared into his room. Nobody except you would see how he was feeling after the video ended, and it was not good.

When he got up, saying that he was going to go cry in his room, he hadn’t lied. You had followed him into his room the second that the camera had turned off, and found him downing the root beer he had grabbed from the fridge, desperate for the taste to leave his mouth. There were tears in his eyes, always having been more sensitive to food, especially ones he didn’t like, and once he set the root beer down, he immediately laid down in bed, letting you lay down next to him. Once you laid down, he clung to you, resting his head on your lap, and you ran your hands through his hair.

“How are you doing, baby?”

He didn’t speak at first, scrolling on his phone for a couple of quiet seconds before he looked up at you, shrugging, and he had a sad look in his eyes.

“Not great. I can feel my stomach starting to hurt.”

You gave him a sad look back, gently combing through his hair, leaning down to press a gentle kiss on his forehead.

“It’s going to be okay sweetheart. Your anxiety is getting the best of you, baby. It’s going to be alright.”

There were so many cuddles and gentle comforts shared from you to Matt that night, soft kisses, stomach rubs, and a lot of love. You didn’t speak too much more to him that night, but right before he fell asleep, he mumbled something you barely caught.

“I’m never eating ketchup again.”

~ taglist : @blahbel668 @strnilo @mattsgirlfrieeend @69isabella69 @mayhem-72 @iculdstealurgf @iluvm4ttsturni0l0 @sturnioloslife @heartsforkarina @nervousrebelglitter @sturniclo @elliegrace-7 @mattsturnioloisbae

~ if you'd like to be added to my taglist, click here!

~ my inbox is open, come chat!!

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colourstreakgryffin · 2 months

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Hello, sorry from before. I am the illusionist person.

I guess Alastor, Velvett, and Emily (but only if you do her).

I apologize about before.

No problem! I just do not like the idea of taking away credit from others’ choices and picking out the characters for others’ subjects. It just doesn’t feel right. I am sorry for being so… well, I guess, annoying and picky! To be honest, not a lot can be done here so sorry, it’s going to be kinda short! Also, this is my first time handling Emily!

Alastor

Alastor almost thought you were an ordinary sinner. A lady not unbelievably special but special in your own ways. But he is mistaken when he begins seeing your illusions and asks you about it. He is so surprised, jaw-dropped, amazed… that’s incredible!

Alastor is actually really supportive towards your illusion power and eggs you on to use it more than you normally do. Use it to get what you want, use it to mislead, use it to defend yourself. He will be right there to cheer you on

Alastor finds it fascinating when you begin to use your illusions on him. Changing his clothing to 1800s, making his ears disappear, all for shits and giggles but it’s just eye tricks. Everything is still there and hasn’t done anything to you, it’s just so realistic, that it’s incredible. He is impressed and has to remind himself that everything you suddenly ‘make’ is not real at all

It can be considered minor but to your boyfriend, your illusionary power. The most powerful, hyper realistic delusions that even shatter like glass when being hit. Enables Alastor’s pride and he is happily brags about how powerful you can be. He mentioned you a ton during his broadcasts and now, he mentions you as a whole even more. He’s just so proud of you

“My dear. Your mind is quite wild and livid. I can’t help but wonder what else you can do. May I ask, how does this power work? It’s so unique and I’d love to get to know it even more, may we speak over a nice date on my room’s balcony over some tea and cookies?”

Velvette

Velvette actually would much more prefer if her harmless little sinner girlfriend was just a normal demon. Didn’t have any powers that made her override the Overlord of the pair… but boy, she is so wrong and she ends up being jumpscared by your illusion-inducing power, directly falling for it and afterwards, she can’t help but directly fall for you even more

Whilst it’s true that Velvette enjoys being the unique one of this couple, she finds herself not at all salty or jealous of your power. In-fact, she wants to see it more in action and she even asks if she can post videos or pictures of your abilities to show you off, as a way to also demonstrate to the web that you belong to her, and this power belongs to her as well

Velvette is uncontrollably disturbed and annoyed by just how hyper realistic and convincing your mind images are. They are fully seeable to everybody, it’s not just you two but she feels like it’s tricking her individually. Whilst she gets irritated with them sometimes, she has grown to support you as a whole. She does like, however, when you use your mind and dress her in 1800s era clothing. Yeah, the dresses are ugly and old but the effort behind them is adorable so she allows it

As stated before, Velvette takes pictures, videos and stills of your illusionary magic and posts them online. She doesn’t just use this as claiming you as hers, she also uses it to brag about you. You went from just beautiful to beautiful and powerful, and that’s all hers. She has your heart and she wants everybody to know you can render them useless with your illusions. She brags to even the Vees

“Yo. Bae, can you please do me a fav with your luse-power? I want to make a really good fashion runway picture for my social media accounts and this one is shit. Could you please make some accessorises for me… pleeeaase~? I promise I’ll buy ya a present~!”

Emily

Emily is a Seraphim. A powerful, higher-up ranked Angel species of the Heaven Hierarchy, so it’s quite surprising when she is as surprised to seeing the precious ordinary Angel lovely woman she calls hers form a illusion creation of her friend, Charlie Morningstar, trying to cheer her up after a bad day. She is so amazed and so proud, eyes sparkling with awe

Emily is the most supportive and encouraging being ever and she wants to rise you up, even more up above Heaven’s majestic cool clouds. She wants you to feel invincible and she wants to you feel proud of yourself so she’ll, much like a child, ask you to use more of your illusions, explore your power and get more confident with it and everytime she watches it, her mind basically explodes

Emily happily and excitedly spins out when you use your illusionary power on her to change her looks; gorgeous hair, gorgeous dress and even her wings. She feels so different yet so blessed at the same time, even if the new look is just a magical sheet covering her body. She also finds it interesting and funny that you dressed her in human 1800s era style, she wants you two to match so she basically begs you to use your magic on you too

Emily legit goes out of her way and with help from Sera, finds and brings back needed magical training items and spell books to try help you hone your already hyper-convincing Mirakinesis and your skills with that power, so you can expand your percentage and even maybe make it even more powerful, with her right besides you as your biggest cheerleader

“Sunflower! Can you make yourself invisible yet? Did the books and items help you at all? I hope they did! I also hope that you know that I am so proud of you and I love you so much! Please never keep something like this from me ever again! You’re incredible, with and without it”

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russellsppttemplates · 25 days

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could you do a Carlos blurb where Carlos and reader takes Clara and Piñon to spend time with Carlos Sr and Reyes while he and reader take a mini trip just between the two of them together and during the trip, Carlos sr. keeps them updated like taking the girl to the park, making cookies with Reyes and watching the Real Madrid game together

"Look at the picture my mother sent to the group chat!", Carlos said as he looked at his phone, his hand shielding his eyes from the sun first and then covering the screen so you could look too. You were both sharing a sun lounger and even though your hat was covering your face from the sunshine, it was still dark enough as you cuddled into your husband's embrace, properly seeing the phone now.

Carlos whisked you away for a romantic getaway, counting on his parents to look after Clara and Piñon, who were more than happy to take them for as long as you needed to recharge your batteries. You had been spending most of your time chilling by the pool or the beach and you were planning to do a small hike tomorrow if the temperatures weren't too high.

"She looks so happy going down the slide!", you pointed out, scrolling through the small collection your mother in-law had sent to show you how much fun your little girl was having in the park, followed by a video of Piñon running around.

On your hike break before you did it all the way back to the start and then the hotel, you had enough service on your phone to check if everything was well back home. Your phone beeped with a notification from your father in-law.

The shirt we got for her fits her really well! was attached to the picture Reyes sent, your little girl on her Real Madrid jersey you remember Carlos Sr. buying as soon as he learned he was going to be a grandfather, claiming the baby would always have to know and recognise the best football team in the world.

"She looks so cute!", you showed Carlos as he smiled, "we need to take her to an actual game someday, it's been a bit since we've watched a game from the stands", he said, kissing your shoulder.

"Should we go now? We'll be back in time to watch the game", you suggested, getting up and pulling him up with you.

"We can have a nice dinner out and I'll watch the game later, I don't mind", Carlos offered, "we're supposed to be spending time together and I don't want it to get in the way of that".

"Please, as if it bothers me", you giggled, kissing his stubbly cheek, "besides, I absolutely do not mind seeing you all riled up when you watch football and especially when it's warm out and we have a TV in the outside area of the room where you could watch the game shirtless", you wiggled your eyebrows, earning a slap on your ass, "you're incredible, cariño".

Abuela and Clara made some cookies! We'll try and save some for when you come back, but we can't make any promises! 🤭

Attached to it was a smiley picture of your daughter with a wooden spoon on her hand as she whisked the sugar into the eggs it seemed, "Oh, she'll be on her sugar high tonight...! I bet my mother hasn't been able to tell her she can't have more cookies", Carlos chuckled.

"She's been having so much fun, though, I bet she's out like a light by the time they get her to bed", you reasoned, "she's so grown up already, she's not our baby anymore", you pouted.

"We could look into that, though", Carlos said as you looked up at him, "I wouldn't mind having another little one, we agreed Clara should have siblings and if you're up for it, I think the age gap would be good right now", he offered.

Kissing his chest, you trailed all the way to his lips, "sounds good to me".

(Thank you for sending this in ✨️)

#carlos sainz blurb #inês writes blurbs #f1 blurb #f1 x reader

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ghostie-gengar · 27 days

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three four eight three!!

relationship chart and their swim forms :3

hcs under the cut (ages are as of splat3)

Captain

real name Sango, aka DJ Sango, nicknamed Agent Ick (squid sisters)

she/her, played with he/him during OE

robust clubhook squid

splattershot main but can work with anything

pretty chill and stoic but tells really good stories if she's in the mood

loves her girlfriend agent 8 so much and thinks she's the most amazing girl in the world <3

pretty blunt with the rest of the splatoon but with eight she's so warm it's like she's a totally different person (can you tell im obsessed with agent 24)

she sees a lot of herself in Neo but doesn't really know how to talk to them so she just. stares at them

acts fed up with Neo's antics but secretly finds them endearing. likes to pick them up and throw them

huge scar on her eye from being sanitized (the eye glows tho so thats cool) and has various others all over

Agent 4

real name Shoyu, nicknamed Sho (marie) and Four-Brains (captain)

he/him

firefly squid

dualies main

his freckles and spots glow! his tentacles are sparkly and so is his ink thanks to a condition he has. it's about as common as freckles

super busy college student trying to balance his hobbies with agent duties and schoolwork

hobbies include video games, music, parkour, clam blitz, and hanging out with his friends

knees are usually scraped

wears mismatched socks

he's a super cool guy, but he tries a little too hard sometimes so he can be kinda cringefail but we love him!!

super nosy and pays a lot of attention to details, mild perfectionism

shortest of the agents other than Neo, but give them like a year and they'll be taller than him

Agent 8

real name Umiko, nicknamed Eighty (captain)

she/her

bimac octopus

mains heavy splatling and e-liter

she's shy when you first meet her but she's super sweet and friendly once you get to know her

hides in small spaces when she's scared, easily startled

besties with Four, they play just dance together

she thinks Captain is soooo cool and has a huge crush on her (yes they're dating)

prefers to be called Eight over her real name. only Captain gets to call her Umiko <3

lives with Captain, but stayed at Four's place during splat3

has some burn scars on her back (from failed OE missions) and post side order one of her tentacles is bleached (same side as captain's sanitization scar <3)

Neo Agent 3

real name Trip, aka Inkborn Harbinger Of Destiny, nicknamed Newbie (squid sisters and captain)

they/them

bigfin reef squid

splatana main (they modded their splatana wiper to have the firepower of a stamper)

they lie about their age to play turf wars- this led to them being recruited into the NSS

autism swag

they love love love shiny things and also spiderman

looks up to Captain but is also terrified of her

loves it when Captain picks them up and throws them

when they get scared/overwhelmed during missions they go and sit near Captain. they don't even say anything, it's just comforting to be near someone they know has been through worse

had an enormous crush on Shiver until they met her, when she genuinely tried to kill them

has a strong sense of wonder and is fascinated by all that alterna has to offer

the back of their head is fuzzy, and they have various scratches all over

homeless for most of their life, briefly lived with the Salmonids, then was able to snag an apartment with special arrangements for their rent to be cheaper since they're a kid

they scrape by selling the treasure they find in the desert

they see Miso as their equal and treat him like a younger sibling. they get extremely offended when people assume he's their pet, as does he

hates Mr. Grizz with a passion.

Neo Agent 3 Jr.

real name Miso, aka Miso Soup With Tofu And Green Onions With A Side Of Dumplings And Fried Rice, nicknamed Little Buddy (Neo)

he/him

smallfry salmonid

was rescued by Neo from Grizzco before he hatched, where Mr. Grizz had full intentions to kill him

he hatched from a special golden egg that glowed brighter than all the rest, it was prophesied that he would leave the salmonids and rise up against a great evil

always hungry, will munch on anything (including Captain's shoes)

extremely loyal to Neo and loves them very much. the two of them look out for each other and live together

he and Neo lived with the salmonids when Neo couldn't nail down a permanent place to live, then they had to leave due to an unfortunate incident with Grizzco.

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accio-victuuri · 5 months

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bjyx in the eyes of passer-by is really good. ❤️💚

i’ve been wanting to share this since the weekend but it’s too long and i needed more time. lol. none of this is new but this can be taken as some convincing arguments about the cp and why it could be real. allegedly from non-fans who casually observes the fandom and what we are up to.

transcript screenshots taken from 泡沫爱恋的晴空 ; I have added commentary and links to some points to better explain. enjoy. 🍵

First of all, I think it is true for the following reasons:

1. Timeline. Since filming in 2018, various fake materials have emerged one after another. We don’t care whether the fake material is genuine or not, but I think the hammer can be connected, which is good. The false information about the incident came out, and then things fell into place, which I think is amazing It’s a strange thing, and some things that happened in 18 and 19 years have now been hammered. Of course you can call it a coincidence if you like.

*** This pertains to the 49 fakes that turned out to mostly be true. Also the fake contributions of their conversations & incidents on set that we all thought weren’t true until the unofficial videos came out. If this was a boy-girl pairing, a single unverified rumor will blow up but with bjyx you have tons and some people are still meh. Lol.

2. Same Style. The two of them share too many styles. First of all, the clothes, from big brands to small ones. Various brands, from clothes to pants to shoes to accessories, there are countless similar styles. The second time was the shooting scene between the staff and some of the staff who had worked together overlapped. Yes, it can be seen from the post-production period that there is also an advertisement for both of them. It was shot in the same place, which is also very magical, in the entertainment industry. It's such a big deal. Do you think there's such a thing as matching clothes, teams and locations? There must be, but I don’t dare to say whether it happens as often as the two of them do. Yes, this is a coincidence.

*** we have an extensive matching clothes collection but i guess the biggest is XZ’s personal style change since he met WYB. Also the overlapping staff/people related work— I talked about an instance of that here.

3. Interaction in the studio. The publicity and distribution of the studios of both parties always meet perfectly. Xiao Zhan and Wang Yibo have so many endorsements, so it’s amazing that there are so many works and programs that I haven’t encountered before, and the way they talk, the way they edits the video, the fonts they use… Some similarities can be seen in these pictures, which is a coincidence and very disturbing.

*** i don’t think this needs further explanation. A lot of us notice this. even how their projects don’t (very rarely ) coincide.

4. Some inexplicable stuck points and dynamics between the two sides. This is very magical, the 24-hour rule of Boxiao Circle means that no matter what the reason, one party after posting the news, there will always be another news posted by the other party.

5. Some specific examples. One is Wang Yibo’s Himalaya account. The case of Ru Meng and Beiyang corpse recovery, first of all, it is definitely not Wang Yibo himself. Listen, that's for sure. It can also be determined that Xiao Zhan is interested in Rumeng and Beiyang. There is also the easter egg of Wang Yibo and YBO’s video. We won’t say that he’s not like Wang Yibo, but he really looks like Xiao Zhan. The jawbone is simply amazing. Of course you can also say it’s a coincidence.

There is another one who beats me. It’s the one where the rehearsal time is hidden. Behind Wang Yibo is Xiao Zhan’s rehearsal. Above there is only Wang Yibo's name. Everyone scolded Wang Yibo for acting like a big name. He didn’t respond and we didn’t know it was Xiao Zhan until that night. I just want to say that if Wang Yibo and Xiao Zhan are fake, the organizer will change the time. this rehearsal time must be negotiated with the artist. Yes, there is no need for him to get involved, he should stay far away at this time. I don't think this is a coincidence.

*** these are very popular CPN so I think alot of us know this. Especially Himalaya/Ximalaya ( I talked about this in detail ; Parts 1-4 / Part 5 ) && WYB hiding XZ’s schedule is very real but both their fans refuse to acknowledge.

6. This is about Bojun Yixiao Rice Circle. Bojun YixiaoCircle and Chen Qing Ling frequently becomes a hotly searched event. Today is April 16, 2022, today the fourth anniversary of Chen Qing Ling was on the hot search, and the names of Xiao Zhan and Wang Yibo were also on the list . Let’s not talk about anything else, just take the current situation of Brother Zhan and Yibo. We wouldn’t say it’s particularly popular, but it’s still quite popular. At this time, there is no need for two people to tie up and search together. Behind these two people, they all have professional teams, and now Fanfan is linked to Bojun Yixiao and Aling has become a hot search topic. No matter what fans think, in the eyes of passers-by, if the names of Xiao Zhan and Wang Yibo are linked together, the team should be able to remove the host search. The last hot search is equivalent to reminding Xiao Zhan and Wang Yibo once again, but judging from the frequency of related hot searches this year, the two parties are together and their team is laissez-faire. This will definitely consolidate CP fans, and I feel that both parties have no intention of wanting to be untied. Judging from their current popularity, I feel like this is a disadvantage. So is it possible that it’s just in case something happens? It will not be made public, but if it is discovered one day, there will be some people who are willing to be with them, at least they feel clear about it and have nothing to hide or cheat them.

To sum up, I think it is true. Of course this is all my personal opinion.

PS: Of course there are many more points, more than this.

**** OP’s sample for hs is 2022, but even this year 2023, they had a couple of hs with their names together and not taken down.

========

Just believe it. Strictly speaking, I am not a CP fan of the two. A more appropriate positioning is for passers-by CP fans, who mainly see the candy of two people is good to drink. When I got high, I calmed down and analyzed objectively.

For a moment, I feel that all kinds of hammers can only point to two possibilities:

1. The two of them are real.

2. The team is still bundled for hype. I don’t quite agree with one party’s deliberate attempts. The other party is interested in this term. After all, if one of the parties is unwilling, we will not let all kinds of public opinions ferment online.

Let’s talk about the first possibility first: true. In fact, there is no need to pass this possibility No need to go into details, there are too many different kinds of hammers. Some people find it far-fetched, such as stuck points. Put it aside, I think the previous little prince and the ideal life drawing , the heart print on wyb’s palm, and the ear clip that xz wears recently, Teacher Lin Hai’s Peppa Pig, etc.,If you take it out one by one, it can be said to be a coincidence. Put them together, I think it’s hard to call it as a coincidence.

Under this possibility, I think their behavior is understandable. I will do my best to acknowledge you in front of everyone, without being blatant so I secretly poked and sprinkled sugar. And after 2020, , it was obvious that they didn’t want to define themselves as cql’s CP position. In this case, it is possible to interact in various ways across the air. I think it is a real possibility. It's indeed bigger.

1. Why are they attracted to each other?

Wang Xiaobao, it is estimated that children lack the company and isolation of their parents during childhood. Due to modern education and upbringing, or perhaps due to innate personality, the child is somewhat autistic. He also likes to talk to himself alone. He leaves home as a young man and lives in a high-intensity confinement under closed training, there is almost no rebellious period of youth and the self-conception of society and parents.

The process of growing up was full of doubts and conflicts, so he retained the childishness and innocence in himself. The instinctive and intuitive side forms what I consider to be a dull yet sensitive and spontaneous person. The current appearance of someone who is trusting but has low self-esteem, is covered in armor but has a soft heart. No matter how others laugh at the "typos", Jiuluoyu "got fat and lost weight" I scoff at this kind of thing! I like this kid’s thoughts to be pure and true. I hope Wang Xiaobao doesn’t have to care about that at all and can go his own way.

Let others talk! I hope this child will improve as he grows older and more experienced. Cultivate a strong heart and face the world more and more calmly without malice and harm.

Xiao Zhan, complete systematic education, complete social animal experience. I predict this kid had a very high emotional intelligence when he was in school, and he was the kind of person who had the best interpersonal relationships in the class. He played the role of a very docile and obedient student in the teacher’s mind, but I personally feel that this meekness and obedience is actually due to long-term family education and school. The "last resort and pretense" under the suppression of education are actually independent at heart. Do, doubt and despise authority (bringing the fierce gene of Chongqing people):

Because with the EQ and IQ he is showing now, he should actually be,,At that time, he could get into a school that was much better than the one he got into! (Don’t ask why. What, this is a topic of educational psychology, a few thousand words are omitted here)

Of course, if that were the case, there would be no actor fees as we see now. Yes, haha. In fact, it is precisely this character background that can support him. At the age of 24, he actually moved to the entertainment industry and survived 227! Just focus on these two points, I admire him very much! There is something about him that is both otherworldly and full of human smoke. The breath of fire has the smell of randomly switching between being born in this world and entering this world. What I saw was not an interesting soul, but a smooth, sophisticated and naive heart. Romantic, wild and unrestrained yet clear and pure soul!

Therefore, my personal feeling is: the mutual attraction between them is two. The approach of the unruly soul, the wild growth of two hearts, the pure nature of souls that have found a completely peaceful and peaceful destination in each other;

This kind of luck is unfathomable and unexpected.

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The commercial value of CPF.

1. Number of fans. I have observed the ch data from mid-September to October 7th, Extract gg, dd, bjyx, and popular male stars at the same time node A, Data analysis of popular male star B. Both A and B are currently on the air. It is a popular drama and is recognized for its good reputation and excellent acting skills. The data are gg>dd>bjyx>A>B, where bjyx=4~5A(B),gg~ 3bjyx, dd~2bjyx, it can be seen that bjyx’s live powder data can indeed be beaten. On the 5th, Wyb's Xiaoxiang's top 1 and 2 hot reviews were both cpf, and bjyx's daily list averaged 1- 2 can reflect the data situation from the side. The number of active fans of bjyx is indeed not high.

2. Economic chain. Needless to say, Boxiao Cotton Doll is very popular in the circle. Various offline exhibitions, pbs, and outputs, including Bilibili and short videos to support. How many blog owners, video accounts, and marketing accounts do you have? Stand up for every charity event and such generous support as charity can reflect the actual benefits. It’s impressive. For GG’s birthday on the 5th, a single charity donation from a single website has 6 number of digits, last year more than 20 Hope Primary Schools were built.

The most important thing is that there is a secret love between the two. The words seem to be more topical when put openly, unless their team are smart enough to assess the public's psychology in advance, and feel that he can design a secret poke of candies that are easier to eat and can increase fans more deliberately. In this kind of clever grouping, If you are deceived during team operation, you can only admit defeat. There were two other people participating in the event. This kind of things is often used. Some people say that this is a script. I admit it. They can act, so the real point of my addiction is not this, but the two of them. Watching the other person interact with other people makes him look bad. A dark-faced reaction is more likely to be reflect inner unhappiness, I think everyone can relate to this. Recalling the dark moments in my life, I found it difficult to act and control myself. If this is really a performance, then I think the two of them deserve two Oscars, so natural.

No matter what, people in the entertainment industry must be surfing experts. I don’t believe them that they don’t know that CP consumption is becoming popular online, but now we are deliberately adding insult to injury. I can only think of the above two possibilities, and comparing the two, I prefer the first.

========

Why are they holding on to such a large CP?

Don't tell me that it's a one-sided affair or a scam, as long as anyone has a brain, no one would say that! Two years ago from 227 to now, between the two of them — how much has the number of cp followers increased in Weibo’s super chat alone? If someone did research can be done with statistics.

I’ve read a lot of Zhihu “papers” analyzing the pros and cons of maintaining CP.

I just want to discuss their purpose of doing this.

In fact, since they are out of business, they can openly share their fans and public opinions. In the direction of socialist brotherhood, this is the easiest and most important thing to do. A lucky path, or simply do nothing. After a few years, they can become naturally quiet. But they don't. So far, they still have to use hammers from time to time. I feel like they didn't just smash it with a hammer.I'm holding an axe and cutting through the thorns.

Maintaining such a large CPF is tantamount to carrying a nuclear bomb on its back.

Okay, what is their motivation and purpose for doing this? Everyone has a purpose in doing things!

Is it possible that the traffic is generated just to maintain the dispute between the three fans? It’s possible, because I’ve never been afraid to speculate on capital with the worst possible intentions. After all, they are in the entertainment industry and have to discuss business.

Or do you want to get everyone’s blessing?

-END.

#yizhan #bjyx #there is no science here i’m just clowning like i always do

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darushi-chan · 1 year

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MORE HOTD REPTILES AU 🤗 EDIT: After I took a nap I checked the post on my phone and the quality of the image looked like crap, dont know if it is my damn phone or what, but just to make sure I divided the strip in parts, now it looks fine in my phone, I like looking at Vhagar the komodo dragon in good definition ok xD? Also Arrax with his cute little crown. Im in pain, I commited myself and finished this in almost 3 days, never again lol. Headcanons time: -If you follow my other posts you know Aemond and Luceyrs are roommates, Aemond lied and said Vhagar “was friendly” so Luke will stay with them, he had been very careful and nothing happenned for like 3 weeks, but the one time he went jogging and didn’t make sure Vhagar’s enclosure was properly closed something happened. -His “Lucerys it’s in danger” sense tingled and he came back in time to prevent disaster, but Luke saw Vhagar in his room. -Lucerys knows Vhagar its not “friendly”, but he also wanted the roommates situation to work, so he feigned ignorance and trusted Aemond, after all Vhagar did listen to him, most of the time. -Vhagar did want to have snack time so bad 😞, but she also loves her almond, so no eathing the tiny dragon, Arrax its “her friend” now, and shes also a new member of Luke’s youtube videos! Plenty of new subscribers thanks to that 😂. -Yes, their silly costumes are a little bit of an hommage to their HOTD real characters, after all we do love to make Luke and Aemond queen and king (Or kings) in a lot of fics 😋. -Also also, yes Luke its wearing crocs with cute charms on them, I also love jogging pants, very comfortable 😌. -Vhagar its inded as tall as Luke when she stands, she’s a full grown Komodo, my doberman its as tall as me when he stands, so I think that makes it possible, I’m like 1.60 m, 5.25 feet, so yeh. -After this Vhagar and Arrax become really good friends indeed, they take walks together with Luke and Aemond, they sunbathe, Luke makes videos with both of them from time to time, they also play catch and chase together, this scares Luke a little, but Vhagar will not hurt Arrax, they are important to her know, Aemond likes them, so does she. -The costumes and videos are a little bit tedious, but Luke makes sure to never do something she hates, and Aemond always gives her special treats and cuddles after them, she also gets a fanbase that sends her gifts! Luke says she’s a star now 😘. -MOre lore that keeps me awake at night: Targ special pet companions Need to be a reptile or amphibian+ blood magic with a Targ blood family member sample, usually blood+ some other secret enchantments. Usually, the parent will bring their baby or child and be shown a wide variety of options, specifically eggs, and if there’s a connection with one or more, they are taken and can go through a series of trials and blood magic rituals, and the one that hatches at the end it’s the one that goes with the client. This process can take some time and specially lots of money from the client. Also, it can only work with people from Valyria, the only ones that can really afford this type of thing are the Targs and their blood family members. They may or may not also have a very restrictive contract with the dragon keepers for this kind of service too, hehe. Driftmark incident and bonding with Vhagar!: Alicent lets Viserys have his way with Aegon and Helaena, they got their pet companions since very young, she agreed since both were also relatively safe options, but then he started to get sick and wasn’t as able as before. She never liked this tradition the Targs had, just looking at Rhaenyra’s Syrax, or even worse, Laena’s Vhagar, the seven forbid one of her kids bonds with a monster like that, so with Aemond she gets more control of what her son get access to bond with, small geckos, frogs, turtles…safe and/or small companions, but none of those take, time passes and then Aemond decides he wants to have a big crocodile like his father, Alicent hates the idea, she wasn’t a Targaryen, so she really didn’t believe it was safe. But no matter what other small safe reptiles Aemond was shown none of them reacted. Aemond knew why, he didn’t want any of those “safe” companions, Aegon and Jace won’t stop bullying him with one of those, he needed something that commanded respect, not something “small and safe”. More time pases and Aemond still doesn’t have a pet companion, Alicent stops trying, and he gives up a little. The day of the funeral the kids dare Aemond to go into Vhagar’s enclosure. He accepts and goes into Vhagar’s room at Daemon and Laena’s house, there he finds this really big lizard he has never seen before. The dragon keepers haven’t shown him anything like it, and even if it’s not a croc, he knows this would definitely do, his excitement goes away when he kind of feels the creature’s sadness. He starts to sing her a Valyrian lullaby (The one Daemon sings to Vermithor), and this catches Vhagar’s attention, she goes out from her enclosure and Aemond touches her snout (Like in how to train your dragon, hehe) while he says Lykiri and Dohaeras (Like in the show!). Vhagar can sort of feel the connection, but we still need the blood for it to be completed. Cue the other children. Aegon and Jace can be a little bit mean and feel kind of “attacked” (Inferiority complex it’s that you?), that Aemond it’s getting a good reaction from Vhagar, they weren’t expecting that after all, and because children can be little shits they enter the room and try to make fun of Aemond for singing Vhagar a lullaby, Vhagar has never seen this other children before and doesn’t like all the noise so she goes back to her enclosure. Rhaena and Baela are not vibing that much with the bullying, neither does Luke, but then Aemond gets mad and lashes at everyone, telling them they have lame companions, how they wish they could have something as cool as Vhagar, especially the idiot Strong bastards. Luke and the girls are sad and crying and answering their own mean things to Aemond and then everyone its fighting. Aegon knows their parents are gonna kill him if something happens, so he runs away in search of the adults. There is some stuff used to feed Vhagar in the room (Gloves, scissors, thongs and stuff like that) and in the struggle those things end up in the floor with Aemond and Jace, Aemond grabs the scissors and slashes them around in desperation and ends up cutting Jace a little. Its then that Luke, that was comforting Laena and Baela after they got punched in the squabble, sees this and gets scared, and ends up pushing Aemond, he trips around the mess and pierces his eye with the scissors, by then the adults arrive and all hell breaks loose. While everyone screams, Vhagar gets close to Aemond and licks some of his blood from the floor, Laena its dead, and she likes this feisty hatchling, so the bonding gets completed. Still, the adults are fighthing, but the kids get to say the truth about the taunting and the mean words and Alicent, Rhaenyra and Viserys see the damage that has been done through the adults mean remarks and hatred. So yes, they are all very mad, and are not in the very best terms then, but they all decide to start going to family therapy, so not everything goes to shit in a couple of years, this way Lucemond and Jacegon can still be a little bit toxic, but nobody needs to die, ok? Also Alicent freaks out and almost passes out when she sees the monstruosity sitting at her son’s side, that makes everyone go back to their rooms, lol.

#lucemond #simple comic that almost makes me lose a hand #lol #Im going away on a trip this friday #so i really wanted to finish this before wednesday #its wednesday and 3 am now #but i finished before #so its fineeeeee #i have a lot more of ideas i want to draw!#but that will have to wait till next week when i come back #vhagar the komodo dragon #arrax the bearded dragon #hotd reptile AU #a little bit of #jacegon #i need sleep #but it wont come #halp

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thecluelessdoctor · 6 months

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Ok soI've been wanting to talk about the current discourse and shit that's been going on in the amazing digital circus fandom and how well- it's pathetic lmaoOk so let me start with just talking about the haters and the stans. Les do it.

So ofc we all know there has been a serge of haters for TADC, and it's funny because there reasons behind hating TADC is either from fandom bait, made up entirely, or just because it's popular. It also seems anytime a indie project is popular it gets a lot of hate which I find incredibly stupid like. If your gonna hate on the indie stuff, please, go hate on corporate stuff. Go on. Like of course, there are problems with TADC, that happens with literally every indie project! Also the hate for it is insane. Like it's often being compared to Hazbin hotel/helluva boss- which I find really unfair because they are two very different medias. One is meant for adult, and the other seems more aimed towards tweens and teens (and maybe young/new adults) Like one of the reasons people have been hating on tadc is because of the reason Jax is a asshole like- oh golly I'm sorry people like Jax actually exist in the real world lmao. Also the hate for Jax also comes from ppl claiming he is sexyman bait even though Caine is RIGHT THERE IN ALL HIS AI GLORY LMAO. guys Jax is twink bait get it right/j

Now lemme touch on the stans, who are attacking anyone who doesn't like tadc like- mate. Not everyone is like you- like myself, I had a bit of a hard time watching TADC because I'm sensitive to random colors, but that doesn't mean I didn't enjoy it (I watched the OG one with my phone far from my eyes and the lowest brightness it could go, and all the rewatches where edited version that made the colors less bright) The thing is, everyone has a opinion. Some just might not have enjoyed it, and that's fine! Don't attack them for it. It also doesn't help that a lot of stans are mixing up good criticism with hate. Like example, I personally don't like Jax's design. It feels too simple compared to everyone else, but that doesn't mean I hate him or the show as a whole I just- UGH

Now let's talk about the fandom/fandom bait and why it really doesn't matter

Every fandom will have bad eggs, it's a given. It's gonna happen. No matter the fandom. But most of those bad eggs are doing it for attention. They want a reaction, or they want to make the fandom look bad. If you don't give them attention, they'll give up. It's not that hard. I know this is cluttered and all over the place so I'ma link a video (not made by me) that basically says my points in a much cleaner way

youtube

anyway peace bro *Despawns*

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quinntell · 7 months

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Hi so uh little rant

(I am absolutely terrible at grammar and such so if it’s fucked up don’t mind it please)

Ok so I’ve noticed how no one talks about how /fit/ is alone, like /no one/ really talks about it. I think the reason the characters and the viewers and even q!fit himself overlooks it is because q!fit has always been alone. Pac is used to company, and when mike his platonic soulmate and richarlyson his child went missing he wasn’t used to it. The comfort that he had known most his life was taken from him so suddenly. But with fit he has always been alone so there would be no reason for him to be hit so hard by all of this right? WRONG. my man was in a wasteland where the moment you got attached to something it was gone, and then he came to a place that’s wasn’t so hardcore and He was not only allowed but ordered to take care of something, he was hesitant and a little annoyed at how he had to take care of some egg he was just supposed to complete his mission and finally have at least a little peace , but slowly he started to get attached to the little boy and eventually that kid became /his son/. But then his partner, the man he was supposed to team up with, the man who was supposed to be his partner in parenting their child left without even a goodbye or a real reason as to why he left so he had to tell his son and everyone on the damned island that he left to get cigarettes. Of course fit isn’t really all that bothered by it, I mean he’s used to being alone and he barely knew that guy. But still…maybe he should monitor his future friends. just to make sure they don’t dump their responsibility’s on him of course. But time goes by and he for the most part forgets his absent partner.

Then his son loses his first life.

And then it became Ramon before the mission. He would never say it fully out loud but he would give up the mission and just about everything for that kid, it was /his/ kid, dragon be damned and he wasn’t going to let this kid be alone. He wasn’t going to let his kid be alone.

And then more time passes, everything is fairly quiet and normal, well as normal as quesadilla island can be, yes he don was kidnapped once but all it took to get him back was a weak dungeon it was nothing

Then he was told his son would leave and never come back. He was told he had only had 6 days left with Ramon from a fairly traumatizing video. And he’ll be damned if he doesn’t make those 6 days count.

Then the 6 days pass and he accepts that he will be alone once again. And he goes through the day grieving but pushing on, moving forward and so on. Besides he doesn’t have time to dwell since there are new members here, most of them don’t seem like they will be that much of a problem, and there are two who seem to be fans of his work he did while at 2b2t one of them seems particularly nice

And guess what! His son is back, Ramon is back! He’s not alone! But now his son is cracked. He needs to be extra careful now especially with the so called ‘federation’ that claims the kids were returned safely

More time passes, and his son is a fairly good engineer! All is (for the most part) well , he’s making friends with those two Brazilians (known as tazercraft) and they tired out to be quite the trouble makers, he doesn’t fully trust them but they are friends- real friends not just ones he has to be friends with in order to make his mission easier

Ok I realize im ranting too much so I’ll sum it up

Fit is supposed to be used to being alone, but it slowly starts to get to him, he’s starting to not be used to being alone to the point he now has separation anxiety instantly, almost everyone he has genuinely cared for on this island has disappeared or been kidnapped at least once, and he can’t take it anymore, he’s trying his best to go back to not caring but he’s getting closer and closer to a particular Brazilian (pac) and he’s not sure what to do, he said he’d take baby steps but even those seem too fast, and now his son and everyone else’s is gone, and they have no clue where they are and only a bit of a clue if they are ok.

But I’m just saying that without Ramon, if we don’t count pac fit is alone, him and phill are friends but he’s not close enough to tell him about his mission and the same goes to tubbo, especially tubbo actually, since the kid is a big trouble maker (be it on purpose or accident) and has his own suspicions on fit himself

Pac has the other favela members but fit has no one is what I’m trying to say

#It’s a long one!#At least for me #fitmc #qsmp fitmc #qsmp lore #qsmp headcannons #qsmp #Ronan screams.#fitmc lore #Like pac is truly fucked but like…fits fucked too

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wildfluwer · 1 year

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Activities they do that make their heart flutter

Note: this was not spell checked or anything so bare with me :)

Seungcheol: Relaxing and watching a movie together. He likes that you take a mothering role in the group. It allows him to have time to relax and your presence always relaxes him. He trusts you enough to be vulnerable with you leading to soft hours on the couch where he lays on your lap.

Jeonghan: Napping or laying down and talking. He really relies on you as his emotional support and sometimes just needs you to be there for him to sleep.

Jisoo: Playing songs on the guitar together. Whether you can play the guitar or not, he loves stimming chords and breaking our into random songs. You always sing along

Junhui: Going to cafes together. He loves exploring familiar areas and finding new places to go. Will order a cute cake and coffee. The long and endless conversations about anything and everything makes him feel like a weight has been lifted.

Soonyoung: Learning or creating choreography together. It doesn’t feel like work when he’s with you so he loves releasing energy by teaching you or dancing together.

Wonwoo: Playing a game with him. Sitting in his room playing video games together is his favourite activity because you don't take them serious but you still want to do good. He loves teaching you how to play. He also likes your company when he reads. When they first debuted, he'd read out loud to you to practise and build confidence but now he does it for fun.

Jihoon: When you visit him in his studio, forcing him to take a break or bringing him food. He secretly adores knowing that you care about him and he's really thankful for the break because he can get so caught up in work that he forgets. He becomes real cute and soft during these times and will always cuddle into you or allow you to cuddle him.

Seokmin: Doing karaoke together or just singing or humming together. He likes the way your voices harmonise but he loves having fun playing karaoke with you on trips. He loves how chaotic it gets, shouting lyrics and doing crazy dances. It makes him feel so happy and calm.

Mingyu: Cooking or baking together. He adores how fun it can get, throwing flour at each other or dropping eggs. Finds it cute when you ask to lick the bowl or spoon. He also likes how domestic and calming cooking dinner is even if it gets a bit chaotic cooking for twelve other people.

Minghao: Trying new recipes. It’s so peaceful cooking or baking together especially when you’re tying a new recipe. It’s even better when it ends up in a flour fight or fighting over who gets to lick the bowl.

Seungkwan: Your constant reassurance when the members tease him. He knows it's a joke and he finds it funny as well but even if you take part, you always pat his head or hug him. Whenever he’s feeling upset or vulnerable, he comes to you. He let’s you baby him and will just cuddle into you.

Hansol: Watching funny videos together. Sitting on his bed as he holds his phone above you both, you get lost down wormholes of random videos from cats to random youtubers. He adores this especially after a stressful day or week. You can often just tell and drag him to his room to watch videos.

Chan: Loves having someone older than him who will baby him and cuddle him with no teasing...or at least minimal teasing. He finds you so comforting and can rant to you and you'll just listen or he's just silently cuddle you. He finds it reassuring.

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everlastlady · 6 months

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Mammon + Servant Reader (Male)

✘Posted: 11/5/2023

✘Story Contains: Male reader, Assassin reader, Servant reader, Clingy Mammon, Injuries, Someone fucking dies, Bunny, and Mammon tending to Reader.

✘Word Count: None, I'm to lazy to open google doc @tumblr please add a wordcount on here ya freaking cunts.

✘Author's Note: I said I was going to feed my male readers so since I'm still in pain from my cramps I decided I'm going to lay in bed, watch Stardew Valley videos, while I write this. Just in case my username never gave it away. I'm female in real so I used to always write for female readers found it easier. But I'm older in life and grown in writing, so I've been learning to cater to my male readers. So if you are a male reader, never be scared to send me request for any helluva characters or matchups. I will do my best to cater to all my readers. Remember to eat a meal or a snack, drink some water, get some fresh air, take your medicine, and remember that you are loved. If you loved this story remember to comment, click or tap that heart button, reblog with tags, and blaze if you can. Always remember to support your local writers. ♡♡♡

✘Summary: {Name} the butler and assassin of Mammon, someone who takes their job serious letting no harm come to Mammon or his home. But what happens when a obsessed stalker who wants Mammon tries to do anything to be with Mammon which leads to {Name} getting hurt.

" Here, you go sir, breakfast just the way you like it. " {Name} said, as he set the plate down in front of his master Mammon. The plate held strawberry pancakes, bacon, eggs, sausage, and hash browns. Everything looked delicious. Mammon's mouth was watering as he pushed aside the paperwork he was doing just so he could eat. " Thanks looks good remind me to tell the cook that he should get a vacation day. " Mammon said already diving into eating. {Name} nodded and turned around writing in his notepad while Mammon ate. As {Name} was turned around. Mammon watched them while he ate. He wasn't sure how {Name} did it, being a servant and an assassin. Mammon remembered when he first hired him. The skills they had for wiping away any dust or getting away of germs with a sniper rifle. Seeing how {Name} could easily kill someone with one shot and no hesitate, scared Mammon but he knew that he shouldn't worry because {Name} worked for him. And Mammon paid {Name} far more than anyone but he was curious about {Name's} life, they rarely spoke about their personal life, actually Mammon knew nothing of {Name}. Mammon finished his breakfast and wipes his mouth. " So {Name} do you have a girlfriend or boyfriend? " Mammon asked. {Name} chuckled and turned around as their {e/c} looked at Mammon, he could have swore that {Name's} eyes glowed as they titled their head and smiled.

" No sir, I don't have a partner, I don't think I really need one. With being an assassin it's a pretty dangerous job. Someone could use my partner against me. I could always get my partner back but the trauma my partner would endure, I can't do that to them. Why do you ask? " {Name} stepped forward and picked up the plate. " I just wanted to know about the people who work for me. " Mammon stared at {Name}. That was interesting to here, so {Name} is single, do they have a family? Should Mammon ask? Yes definitely he should ask, he wanted to know more about {Name} and this conversation was nice. " Do you have any family? " Mammon asked. {Name} set the empty mug that once held coffee onto the plate. " I did, they are still alive but I don't talk with them. They don't agree with my lifestyle, they wanted to control my life every since I was born. They always documented my life for social media and vlogging. They controlled who I was friends with, forced dating partners onto me, and wanted me to be a doctor. I ran away at the age of eighteen, of course they tried to find me. But I never let them; I'm happy with the life I have here with you sir. " {Name} smiled and bowed walking out of the door.

Mammon sat there speechless and disgusted upon hearing about your family. Who documents their whole child's life to put on social media for views, clicks, and life. Just trying to control and mold your child into something you want is pure evil. This made Mammon reflect on his certain actions. He also thought about the last part {Name} said before walking out. They are happy here with them. Mammon's face became warm as ge crossed his arms and leaned back. {Name} was caring and such a lovely person. But could put a bullet into someone without a second thought. But that is what Mammon found fascinating about {Name}, he was pretty sure if he told them to go kill Fizzarolli, he would. But Mammon didn't want to deal with Asmodeus and possibly loose {Name} because you know the saying an eye for an eye. So he would let Asmodeus and Fizzarolli be for the time being. Mammon heard a large crash, he jumped shaking from his thoughts. He stood up and opened the door to see {Name} pin to the floor. A demonic looking bunny demon on top of {Name} holding a knife. " {Name}! " Mammon yelled out. {Name} and the bunny demon looked up at Mammon. {Name} looked beat up. A bloody nose and busted lip. " Sir, please stay back they have one of those angelic weapons! . " {Name} yelled. But with one punch they were knocked out. The bunny demon stood. Their fur was black with red steaks. They were wearing a white crop top and baggy ripped jeans. " Mammon, I've always wanted to meet you and finally I am! " The bunny had a crazy look in their eyes, a look that made Mammon himself scared and stepped back.

" I've always been your biggest fan. I know everything about you and collect everything you throw away! Like that one time when you went Beelzebub's restaurant and threw away a chicken bone, I kept it or when of the dollar signs fell off your hat and you didn't notice, I'm sorry I should have given it back; I kept it! I always watch your commercials and only go to your banks. Anything you put out, I buy. " The bunny was talking hysterically. Mammon's face held a nervous smile. " T-That's good, but you shouldn't really be here. " Mammon was hoping you would wake up to take care of this creep. " I know I shouldn't! But I couldn't help it especially after what happened at the clown off, what that shitty clown did to you was horrible, and I came to prove that you should hire me! You can make me the new face, I'll do anything and don't care how you use me! " The bunny grabbed Mammon's hand. Their grip was strong which scared Mammon. " I-I'm actually not looking for any new talent right now. " Mammon tried to pull away. Only for the bunny person to hold on tighter. " But you haven't seen my act, I even have an outfit I'm working on that's modeled after you so we can match, l-let me show you a photo. " The bunny person reached for their phone. " He said he isn't looking for any new talents! " {Name} used all the force in their body to knock the bunny person onto the table sending them crashing as the glass vase broke underneath them.

{Name} was breathing heavily as the bunny person groans. " Sir, are you okay? " {Name} asked. But they looked more beat up then Mammon. The greed lord shook his head. " Forget about me, are you okay mate? You look like you took quite the beating. " Mammon stepped towards {Name}. " I've been through worst. " {Name} laughed. Mammon cupped {Name's} face and looked at them. " Doesn't matter if you been through worst... I want to make sure that you are okay... " Mammon frowned. As {Name} stood there blushing. The bunny groaned and opened their eyes to see this display of affection this made their blood boil. The bunny picked up a shard of glass from the broken vase. " He's mine! " The bunny jumped on {Name} stabbing them in the side multiple times. {Name} screamed and slammed the bunny into the wall, knocking them off. {Name} looked at their tore suit on the side. The bunny was quick to slice across {Name's} chest. Before kicking them down the stairs. With a tumble and hitting the ground. {Name} laid there looking lifeless, Mammon believed that they were lifeless that his sweet assassin was gone. The bunny turned around and smiled. " I'm sorry that they interrupted us, you have to remind me to fire them when you and me get married. Which reminds me, let me show you the names of our 20 children! " The bunny was going to reach for their phone. But in a puff of green air Mammon had entered his larger demonic form.

" fire them!?, marriage!?, kids!? I don't even fucking know you or love you! " Mammon screamed in the bunny's face. " N-Now, don't say that. We deserve to be together. " The bunny said backing up. " No, we don't you killed the one person I love and now I'm going to make sure you will make me a lot of money like you wanted. " With a large grin Mammon raised his hand and flicked the bunny into a wall upon impact their back and legs were broken as they fell to the floor unconscious. Mammon changed back to his much smaller form and ran downstairs to {Name}, upon closer inspection. Mammon could see that they were alive and immediately had {Name} rushed to the hospital, where they had to have surgery and get some stitches. {Name's} eyes fluttered open and found themselves in the hospital bed. The TV was playing some dramatic soap opera. Mammon was sitted next to {Name}, Mammon was asleep in the chair. But his eyes opened when he saw {Name} looking at him, Mammon smiled. " Hey, mate are you feeling okay? " Mammon placed his hand against {Name's} nodded their head tiredly. " Yes, what happened to that crazy fucker? " {Name} asked with a sigh. " I'm sorry I failed you... " {Name} tears up.

" Hey, you didn't fell me. You did everything you could to protect me and don't worry about that nut job, I took care of them. Now I'm here for you because I care about you.... Could say I have feelings for ya. " Mammon gently squeezed {Name's} hand as they blushed. " I appreciate that sir, thank you for everything... " {Name} smiled softly. The rest of the evening. Mammon kept {Name} company. Telling jokes, getting them better food because hospital food is gross, and making sure the doctors checked on them. Once {Name} fell asleep. Mammon kissed their cheek before leaving when arriving home. One of the servants lead Mammon downstairs. Mammon put on some gloves and a coat. The bunny was tied to the table with a cloth tied around their mouth, markings on their bunny of where to cut. " Alright, ready to make me a lot of money~ " Mammon grinned and walked towards the bunny who's muffled screams would not be heard. These organs would sell for a lot and Mammon planned to take you on a very expensive vacation after getting out of the hospital.

Mammon's Clowns aka Mammon Tag list: if you wanna be added or removed let me know.

@stinkykittypet

@pyromaniam

#helluva boss #hazbin hotel #helluva mammon x reader #helluva mammon x male reader #helluva x reader #helluva x male reader #helluva fanfiction #helluva fandom #male reader #character x male reader #character x you #character x reader #helluva everlasting

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isawken · 1 year

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how i got invited to a council meeting for the world's oldest professional clown organization: a reflection on the value of weird niche interests and shooting your shot

it is 2 PM EST. i work from home- i've taken my work laptop to set up in the bedroom along with my personal laptop. i shouldn't be away for more than 30 minutes. call it a late lunch. i've made sure my Zoom icon has been changed from the little gif of a monkey from the video game Ape Escape wiping his ass with a towel over and over again to the far more respectable default icon. i've put my full first name as the username in place of "snart". i am very, very nervous. 2:01 PM. i always wait exactly one minute before hopping into a meeting i'm nervous about. i hate being the first one in a call. the burden of initiating casual conversation is one i particularly hate.

i enter the zoom room key and passcode and enter the meeting.

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those who know me irl or follow me on twitter know that i'm like, really into clowns. i could (and probably will one day) write an entirely different thinkpiece on the reasons why this happened to me. i have not always been Clown Guy. i never hated them, but never loved them, until around 2018 when i started really getting into jesters. the interest in clowns was a lateral move at that point. this makes a lot more sense in my head than in real life, but whatever. you get the point.

i started doing clown make up, getting clown supplies, doing clown photoshoots for fun. a neat little creative outlet. then, as with all of my fleeting interests, i started consuming everything i could about the history of them. and my fleeting interest became a full blown fascination.

one of the more interesting things i learned about was clown eggs. short version: in the 1940s a dude named Stan Bult decided to make a clown organization. and as part of this clown organization he integrated a fun hobby- painting and adorning chicken eggs with the visages of famous clowns, and later, members of the organization itself. these eggs were a staple of the org until Stan's death in the 60s. The practice fell to the wayside for a couple decades, then was rebirthed in the 1980s, with a new group of chairclowns and a new artist. it is once again a staple of the organization, and one i am enamored with. the crazy part about it all is, Stan Bult was a chemist. not even a clown.

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i am on the phone with Dee Dee, the lead chair of the organization. on my application i mentioned extensive social media usage, and she emailed me a few days after approving my application one evening asking if i'd be interested in helping out the organization with their social media presence. i'd be a fucking dunce to say no. she tells me about the current person in charge of their various social medias. she likes her, she says, pausing to add a tone to the next part of her sentence. it's the kind of tone you use when you are expressing dissatisfaction to someone and you're confident they'll commiserate your feeling. "but, she's not even a clown."

i give a very diplomatic (noncommittal) "ah, yeah."

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it is a tuesday summer night and i am drunk, and i am filling out an application for a clown egg before i lose my nerve. i already have my signature make up. i'm actually really proud of it. red lips, blue nose, yellow eyes. red yellow and blue freckles. a red circle, blue square, and yellow triangle pattern above the eyebrows and under the eyes. red yellow and blue checkered button down with cowboy fringe on the chest. a tan stetson given to me by my grandfather. a gaudy clown face bolo tie. i did a pretty good job if i do say so myself.

i send the photos along with the application, 100% confident i will get rebuffed because i'm not a "real" clown. i do get rebuffed, but not in the way i expect. the person fielding applications, Dee Dee, instead gently asks me to submit a membership application first, then she'll be able to send in the order for the clown egg. she says my face design is very cute. i fill out the application and send it back in immediately.

a few days later and i'm sent an email saying my membership fee payment has been processed, and welcome to Clowns International! attached is a PDF of a hilariously simply-edited membership card. it's a sharp, bright red. it features my full name, my clown name, my signature, and my membership number. i'm clown number 22011. text in italics at the bottom of the card says "Members in Good Standing must show cards on request for all CI meetings."

i really hope i can go to one of those, i think to myself, giddy at this eyesore of a rectangle and what it means to me.

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i enter the zoom meeting.

"Oh, there she is!"

i am greeted by a short row of older men and women. i am guessing the youngest aside from me is probably in their 40s. the oldest looks like they could be 80. Dee Dee starts right in.

"So that's what you look like under your makeup! Everybody, this is who I was telling you about, Ken____. She's a bit of a new clown, and she's agreed to help us out with some of our social media."

Dee Dee references a "blog" that i run. i am immensely thankful that she never asked to see my twitter account, and no one else on the call asks either. they just take my expertise on faith. well, faith, and the spiel i give them about how consistent posting will result in increased engagement, and how best to go about engendering social media growth. i throw out plans for posts- history threads, cute memes or art spotlights, posts highlighting members' eggs. the older ones just nod along, but one in particular is very enthusiastic. he tells me he had a tiktok recently get a million views of him and a clown buddy chasing each other in tiny cop cars. i nod along.

the tiktok guy and the guy managing the facebook argue for 30 minutes about whether or not to focus more on social media presence or maintaining the current membership. they go in circles until finally moving on to the horse hospital event (still not sure what that's about) and annual Grimaldi funeral service (i'll make a different post about that one day). then the newsletter. then some other random updates i zone out on. it has been almost 2 hours. i have my work laptop on the bed next to me and am covertly answering emails while the clowns bicker.

turns out even british clowns are exactly as grumpy as regular british people. who knew.

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i am very good at making plans. i love nothing more than making a document detailing actions and ideas in a concise, clear manner. i make a social media treatment, detailing plans for potential posts and even fully written out history blurbs with pictures that can be adapted into threads or instagram posts. i send that out. Dee Dee asks me to follow up with the facebook guy and the twitter/insta girl. the facebook guy just straight up gives me access to twitter. the twitter/insta girl does not respond to any emails.

i've been posting on their twitter account for 6 months now. it's right here if you want to take a look at it. not to brag (lol jk this is definitely a brag), but i've just about doubled their followers in that time. the instagram girl still hasn't given me any log in info, despite my gentle offers to "help" with insta posts. i also notice it has not posted in about 2 years now. i am an interloper, a newcomer. she is the daughter of one of the chairclowns. i am sitting on this information for now. the last thing i want is to instigate a clown war with an old british person. i'd lose for sure.

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i'm not a "real" clown. i don't do parties, i don't work at a circus. i don't think i ever will (i'm only 28 though, who knows what the future holds). all i do is clown around on twitter for people's amusement. but over the last two years i have gained so much understanding and respect for the profession, and all i want to do is share that. i have another board meeting with them soon. i am very curious how this one is going to go. Dee Dee has mentioned a few times how she wants to meet me in person one day. this is all kind of a charade- i am waiting for the day when they realize i'm not an active working clown in the traditional sense, and they kick my civilian ass out. i really hope i get a clown egg before that. it's been about 9 months and no word though, so my hopes aren't exactly high. i go back and forth on whether or not i deserve one. and then i remember that the founder of the whole organization was never a clown. he just really liked them. and it's lasted about 80 years now.

this whole clown thing has been one of the most positive forces in my life over the last few years. i'm sure most of you know how fun it is, to dive headfirst into a new obsession. it's fun to share it with people- most are immediately at least interested if not just bemused when i bring up clown stuff. and it gave me the confidence to apply to a fucking clown organization and get a membership card and become one of their social media managers and holy shit how fucking insane is that??? even if this blows up, even if i get kicked out and never get my egg and it all burns to the ground, that is something i can keep in my heart forever. that is a story i can whip out at any party for the rest of my life, and get chuckles. i may not be a real clown, but i'm definitely addicted to getting chuckles like one.

anyways, the moral of the story here is to apply to whatever your version of a world renown clown organization is. get drunk on a tuesday night and shoot your shot. and even if it doesn't go great you can always make a fun story out of it. or a really, really long post on tumblr.

#clown #clowns #clownblr #long post #kenposting #my ask box is open if you have any questions about my weird clown shit

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anonymous-dentist · 6 months

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I do think it would be interesting if Red ends up being the cursed team because we all thought it was a red herring. Like this is the most cursed team comp out of all the teams, over half the team hasn’t logged on in at least three months, almost nobody is good at pvp, and they’re the guys everybody was picking on because everybody saw they were the weakest team, and then because they were seen as the strongest team. But maybe that’s the point, maybe the Eye wants the eggs to ‘die’, so all the most competitive people are on the other teams. That way everyone targets Red, the weakest team, and the one with the most targets on it.

Everyone on Red is a target. Phil? He’s famous for living for a long time. Cellbit? Everybody knows he’s deceptively intelligent and clever. Jaiden and Baghera and Slime? Not the greatest at the game, easy kills. Foolish? A builder, but not someone known for pvp. Carre? The new guy likely to go off alone. Even now with Etoiles and Roier and Mouse, they’re all targets because Etoiles and Roier are tryhards and Mouse is an easy kill.

They’re literally doomed by the narrative.

A lot of people think Blue might be the cursed team because of those egg videos, but like. All three eggs have parents on Red Team, too. Phil has Chayanne, Cellbit (and now Roier) has Richarlyson, and Baghera has Dapper. Red’s egg statue had both Tallulah (the one who Chayanne ordered to be saved) and Dapper (the one who said to win no matter what) in it.

Maybe the red herring was actually the fact that Red Team is such a red herring. Sometimes the most obvious solution is the real one. The best mysteries are complex in their simplicity.

If Red is the cursed team, then it would make legitimate sense considering how bad off they’ve been this entire competition. And it would be really interesting for q!Bad and the rest of Blue Team, who have all been going to these extreme measures for the sake of saving the eggs, to find out at the end after winning that their actions killed the eggs in the end.

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transmortifried · 13 days

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Regular Show Episode: Bro Job

Rigby and Mordecai convince Skips to set the house up with pirated cable and spend the whole day watching TV and drinking "expired soda". Late at night, they find out to their great delight that Skips' hack also unblocked the "girly videos" channels. They keep watching, flipping through channels until they find the "manly videos" channel. Rigby immediately tells Mordecai to stop flipping channels, that he wants to see the "manly videos". The video is about two bros engaging in the ultimate and deepest expression of manly bro affection, a true celebration of teamwork: The Bro Job. Rigby and Mordecai, in their "sleep deprived" state, start giggling to each other, egging each other on and joking that they should totally give each other a Bro Job, dude, they're the best friends around. They start moving towards each other...

Hard cut to the next morning. Rigby and Mordecai wake up on the couch, draped over each other. They panic a little, wondering how far things went last night, and shuffle awkwardly towards the kitchen for breakfast. Muscle Man is making an eighteen-egg omelette, with High Five Ghost deftly tossing him eggs in a delicate and beautiful synchronized juggling act. With a flourish, Muscle Man finishes his omelette, and it's beautiful. Muscle man is psyched out of his mind at how good the omelette turned out with High Five Ghost's help, and says that for his assistance, he'll totally give him a Bro Job later. Rigby and Mordecai are shocked to hear that Muscle Man and High Five Ghost give each other Bro Jobs, and ask about them. Muscle Man says yeah no, he and High Five Ghost give each other Bro Jobs all the time, that they were the ultimate and deepest expression of manly bro affection, a true celebration of teamwork, some real warrior's bond stuff. Rigby and Mordecai give each other a long look, maybe it's not so weird after all...

Cut to a montage of Rigby and Mordecai giving each other Bro Jobs multiple times during their shift at the park. They clean the fountain, that's worth a Bro Job. They're getting their daily tasks done more thoroughly than ever before through the power of teamwork and positive reinforcement. They look over their work, content and satisfied. Mordecai remarks that Benson will be so pleased with their work and he bets Benson will totally give them both Bro Jobs for it.

On their break, they go get coffee. Rigby cuts in front of Mordecai as Margaret's ringing them up so he can pay for the both of them. Mordecai is appreciative, saying that that totally deserves a Bro Job. Margaret is incredulous, asking if they really do give each other Bro Jobs for stuff like this, saying that it feels kinda cheap and transactional. Mordecai insists that it's not and that Bro Jobs are totally cool and are for bros. Rigby insists that she simply doesn't understand a warrior's bond. They go into how the positive reinforcement really motivates them to do their best, how today was the best work they've ever done. Just today, they cleaned the fountain... they come to the horrible realization that was the only thing they've done today, and that they had a whole list they had to get done. They had spent their whole day giving each other Bro Jobs instead of doing the work they were supposed to reward. They rush back to the park.

Benson's waiting for them, furious that they wasted so much time doing simple things. He gives them an ultimatum: no more Bro Jobs, or they're both fired!

The next day, Rigby and Mordecai are both listless. Without the positive reinforcement, they have even less motivation to do their job than usual. All their energy has been drained, and they lay around in a malaise. They have a heartfelt discussion about how much the Bro Jobs made work fun, how it felt good to be recognized for doing good work, and how unfulfilling their job is without it. They both remark that they miss Bro Jobs. Muscle Man and High Five Ghost roll up on a cart to make fun of them. They mishandled the power of Bro Jobs, giving them when they aren't earned. Muscle Man confidently states that he and High Five Ghost would never, that they understand the true power and meaning of a Bro Job, that they understand a warrior's bond.

Benson is coming to chew out Rigby and Mordecai for slacking even more now that they're banned from Bro Jobs, red in the face and steaming. As he approaches, he walks by the fountain. For all their goofing off, they did do a really good job of cleaning it, even if they didn't get anything else done today. He softens. As he walks up to Rigby and Mordecai, he still looks frustrated but not angry. He talks about how while the pace at which they were working was unacceptable, he sees that Bro Jobs did improve the quality of their work. He makes a deal with them: for every task on their list they get done, they can give each other one Bro Job. The color returns to Rigby and Mordecai, now excited to get back to work.

The next day, Rigby and Mordecai are finishing up raking leaves, and start intimating towards giving each other a celebratory Bro Job. The energy is clearly different. The time spent banned from Bro Jobs has returned them to how they were the morning after they first learned of them, awkward and hesitant. They start to argue about who's going to go first. Rigby eventually lets it slip that he never even liked giving Bro Jobs, saying that Mordecai eats too much junk food and it makes it taste bad. Mordecai fires back, saying that Rigby doesn't shower enough and giving him Bro Jobs is totally gross, dude. They start fistfighting each other on the lawn. As they do, Muscle Man and High Five ghost roll by in the cart, and with patronizing disdain, Muscle Man remarks that they still have a lot to learn about a warrior's bond. He and High Five Ghost ride into the sunset together.

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