#neil is so fucking funny

[sharksliveontrains]

i would pay money to read aftg from andrews pov like

i just know he was thinking what the hell

#neil is so fucking funny #the way andrew just stares at him #even with his eidetic hes got no fucking clue what neils talking about #hes like what fucking zombies #andrew minyard #neil josten #all for the game #aftg #neil is just a baffling guy #the foxhole court #the raven king #the kings men #tfc #anyways #txt

[stillw4t3r]

ik everyone is in mourning because of episode 6 right now but can we just appreciate how batshit this season was?? the entire time i was asking myself how it was real. the magic show with the bullet?? the nazi zombies?? the laudanum scene?? the entire ball sequence?? the entire rob sequence?? ineffable bureaucracy becoming fucking canon???? how is season 2 real

#neil was right when he said this season was going to be nice and romantic or whatever #it was so pleasant and fun until episode 6 #it was so fucking funny too i was laughing out loud on so many occasions #im feeling so many emotions well done gomens crew yall did outstanding #good omens #good omens 2 #good omens season 2 #good omens spoilers #good omens season 2 spoilers #go2 spoilers

[luvbug724]

#neil josten what the fuck is up with you #aftg #neil josten #all for the game #tfc #the foxhole court #i’m giggling he’s so funny why does he do this

[mcmeasle]

in universe fan Exy memes

(credit to @/smallinsaneone on Twitter for starting up the trend)

#aftg #all for the game #neil josten #jean moreau #kevin day #david wymack #psu foxes #riko moriyama #I am absolutely going to go nuts with these I think it’s so fucking funny

[allforthe-gay]

PLEASE

#I SAW THIS LIKE A YEAR OR TWO AGO #ITLL FOREVER BE SO FUCKING FUNNY TO ME #neil josten #all for the game #aftg

[be-queer-do-arson]

The whole Riko Roast is a masterpiece but in particular the line "Kevin and I talk about your intricate and endless daddy issues all the time" gets me every time because no the fuck they do not!!! Neil just made that up for the drama!!!! He thought hmmmm... what will make this fucker the angriest and then he held nothing back. Neil threw Kevin's ass right under the bus without a second thought just to see Riko's face twitch. Iconic.

#kevin (already on his fourth panic attack of the day): im sorry we fucking WHAT #it's so funny to me #aftg #neil josten #all for the game #the foxhole court #kevin day #the raven king #riko moriyama

[darcyolsson]

finished the sunshine court..... kind of deranged and it wouldn't be aftg if it wasn't. absolutely had a great time even though jean spent most of his pov so miserable im pretty sure he invented at least 5 new dsm diagnoses. also im obsessed with cat and laila doing what renison couldnt back in 2016 a part of me is healed now. 10s across the board thank you nora

#jean's jortventure when #im joking im never doing that #also neil showing up just to be really fucking annoying is SO funny to me welcome back you little bitch #he's literally insufferable god bless. #the sunshine court #personal #aftg tsc

[battoad]

made some dead boy detectives fake tweets bc i can’t stop thinking about them

#dead boy detectives #charles rowland #edwin payne #edwin paine #painland #dead boy detective agency #crystal palace #niko sasaki #jenny the butcher #the sandman #neil gaiman #port townsend #the cat king #fake tweets #are so fucking funny

[ceaselesswwatch3r]

i have come to the conclusion that neil gaiman and taika waititi should make something together and my reasoning for this, is just because

#also they've both made shows where straight is the minority #and i'm just curious to what it would be like #i have a feeling it would be so fucking funny #but in a way you wouldnt expect it to #idk #neil gaiman #taika waititi

[hmmm-shesucks]

Once the Foxes have done some healing and whatnot, they begin to joke about past traumas, as traumatized individuals tend to do. These kinds of jokes are more personal and for themselves, really, but because they are all so fucked up and they share a year's worth of mafia bullshit, their jokes sometimes run into each other and become group jokes. One of these jokes is the phrase ‘trigger warning.’

A few examples:

—

Dan: *has a box of razor blades for some reason*

Andrew: *walking by* trigger warning

—

Nicky: *not paying attention while driving. Almost hits a median*

Andrew: *reaches over and jerks the wheel*

Aaron: trigger warning

—

Foxes: *walking through a hallway that happens to have a fire safety box on the wall with an axe in it*

Neil: trigger warning

Foxes: *horrified but hysterical*

—

Idk my friend, and I do this a lot, and it’s always about stupid stuff. And it’s always out of the blue, and it catches everyone off guard when it happens, but we find it so fucking funny. I just feel like it’s a really morbid but absolutely hilarious thing to say, and it’s out of pocket enough for the foxes.

#Aaron’s are definitely the wildest #Kevin’s are rare but always fucked #Renee’s too #it’s fucked up #but so funny #aftg #all for the game #andrew minyard #neil josten #aaron minyard #andreil #kevin day #twinyards #dan wilds #matt boyd #nicky hemmick #allison reynolds #renee walker #foxes #aftg foxes #aftg headcanon #my writing

[seraphsfire]

im crying neil was signing an autograph for someone who was " i'm the number one ascended astarion apologist" and he was like "....okay." and looked at the camera like this

#FUCK OAH MY GOD its so funny when he hears ppls headcanons and is just like ......okay anyways moving on #neil newbon #bg3 //

[jtl-fics]

Fluent Freshman - Part 16

PREVIOUS

Sweeties is very busy tonight but they get a table relatively quickly. He sees some people looking at their group all dressed in the ‘required’ attire for going out to Eden’s and reminds himself that maybe it’s for the best that people remember him tonight. It MAY help the police find his body in a shallow grave somewhere if they can piece together his last few hours.

Nicky stops by the salad bar and grabs three packs of crackers. He hands one pack to FF who just stares blankly at it before shrugging and figuring his stomach needs something so he opens the pack and just eats the crackers.

Nicky looks at him with an abundance of fondness that he doesn’t understand but shakes his head and hands a laminated menu over to him to order dinner from. “I know you’re not drinking but you still gotta take your meds before we leave.” Nicky reminds and FF nods. He reaches into his pocket to confirm that they’re there and feels something cheap and plastic.

Oh god, he forgot to take his Happy Meal Toy out of his pocket. No one needs to know that.

He shoves his hand into his other jacket pocket and the sandwich baggy with his single dose for his Ulcer is right there.

He starts to look at the menu when he realizes that everyone else already knows what they’re going to order since they apparently come here regularly. He tries his best to never be a regular at any place where they can see him and repeat his order back to him (Hello CVS girl, yes thank you for holding some Pepto for him. No he is very brand loyal and would not like to try Tums thank you.)

FF stands behind the art of the panic pick.

He has cultivated this ability over his many years of panicking. He can look at a menu and pick an item that might not be the thing he most wants on that menu it is something that he can eat or drink. Then while he has that pick queued up and ready to fly if a member of the waitstaff comes over before he’s actually read what’s on offer he has his panic pick.

A place like this has GOT to have a burger.

He finds it under the sandwich section easily enough and now he has his panic pick as he peruses the rest of the menu.

The waitress comes far faster than he had anticipated and slams waters down at each of their spots. “What can I get you?” She asks and before anyone says anything Nicky and Aaron slide over the two packets of crackers that she takes before looking at the empty packet in front of FF, “Just two?” She asks.

WHAT KIND OF CODE IS THIS?

“Just two.” Nicky says grabbing his trash and handing it over to her.

She shrugs, “Anything else on the menu I can get you boys?” She asks.

They all make their orders and Nicky, bravely, steps in to remind him he likes his burgers well done when the waitress asks.

“Sorry, I should have warned you.” Nicky laughs bumping his shoulder against FF’s “This place has this stuff called cracker dust, it gets you high but it’s not addictive.” He says.

Every single 80’s PSA goes off in FF’s head all at once.

NICKY “FLIPS TURTLES BACK ONTO THEIR FEET” HEMMICK DOES NOT LOOK LIKE HOW THE ‘JUST SAY NO’ ADS HAD SAID HE WOULD.

There’s not a trench coat! He wasn’t even wearing a hoodie with the hood up! There’s no sunglasses! Nicky had given him a baggie for his ulcer meds but IT WAS A SANDWICH BAG.

“I see.” He says out loud.

“Do you wanna try some.” Aaron asks. He double checks and yeah Aaron is still in the same club clothes he had left the house with. He has on a hoodie but the hood is down.

He does as any 80’s teen sitcom protagonist does by the end of the episode.

“No thank you.”

He thinks Mr. T would be happy that he said No. That ad had been especially nerve wracking as a kid when Mr. T ‘shakes some sense’ into the camera.

“Alright, no worries. Neil and Andrew don’t do any either.” Nicky says quickly.

The drugs come with the food and Nicky and Aaron pocket them before handing over cash to the waitress who just counts it right there. He focuses on digging into his burger and realizes it has jalapeños on it but Nicky volunteers to eat them with his nachos and lets the conversation weave around him as he polishes off his burger and takes his ulcer meds. “Oh cool, hand me the bag so I can keep our stuff in there.” Nicky makes a grabbing motion with his hands and FF just hands it over.

He zones out as he eats his fries. He wonders if Great Gran is upset watching him or if she’s happy that he said no to drugs. Maybe he should have said yes, then he could at least be blasted out of his mind when Andrew dragged him to the basement.

Well, it’s too late now.

The waitress comes and clears out their plates but picks up her notepad and pen again. “So, what ice cream do you boys want tonight?” She asks and looks straight at FF.

But FF is prepared.

Ice cream places are easy. His panic pick is a given, it’s Vanilla. Every ice cream joint has it so he barely even notices how his heart rate kicks up to 190 BPM and his palms grow instantly sweaty.

“Vanilla.”

“Sorry Hun, we’re fresh out.”

OH GOD. QUICK, SAY SOMETHING ELSE.

“Surprise me.”

NO YOU IDIOT SAY CHOCOLATE.

“Surprise you?”

RETRACT, IT’S NOT TOO LATE.

“Yeah. Surprise me.” He repeats and he can FEEL Nicky vibrating with laughter next to him.

“Alright Hun, I’ll surprise you.” She winks at him and he blinks back at her.

The rest of the table all order (They’re all normal people who order strawberry (neil), the special with chocolate (Nicky), Lemon Sorbet (Aaron), and Brownie Fudge (Andrew).

“Surprise me.” Nicky whispers to him.

“I panicked.” He whispers back.

“Yeah obviously.” Nicky snorts but pats him, “It’s fine. The worst is you might end up with Pistachio or something.” He pats FF on the back.

FF likes Pistachio and the world loves to make FF suffer.

“Here you go hun. We just got this in, it’s Mango.” She says setting down two scoops of a bright orange ice cream down in front of him, “With a little surprise.” She winks again as she sets the other ice cream down.

They all get started.

Why is the Ice Cream kind of spicy?

He eventually puzzles out that the waitress has served him a Mango and some kind of pepper (probably habanero) ice cream. She smiles when he thanks her for the surprise, tries not to let it show how much the spice is KILLING his stomach let alone the acid of the mango.

Andrew has his eyes narrowed on him and he’s sure the man doesn’t want him to make a scene at a place that seems to be a frequent haunt for the family. So he eats every last bite and ignores how his lips tingle.

“Ohhh it must have been good. Maybe we should get you her number.” Nicky says looking at his empty bowl.

“No, I’m good.” She was pretty but considering the acid currently swirling in his stomach she probably thought he was an asshole for asking for her to ‘surprise him’. Even if that wasn’t the case, what if she thought it’d be cute to serve him this spicy ice cream as a cute couple thing? His stomach can’t take that.

“Aw man you’re no fun.” Nicky pouts.

They pay for their meals and the waitress hands him his receipt with a wink. He nods back at her before shoving the receipt into his pocket next to the Megamind toy. “Have a good night.” He says.

“You too Hun.” She says.

They head out for Eden’s and in a way the ice cream is a blessing because his stomach hurts enough that he barely even notices his anxiety about being at the place where Andrew most certainly is going to stab him at least once by the end of the night.

MASTERPOST FOR ALL PARTS OF FLUENT FRESHMAN AU

NEXT

Per your requests:

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The requests to be added to the tag list got spread out across a few  different mediums on this one so if I missed you I swear it wasn’t malicious I’m just brunch dumb at the moment. Remind me in the replies!

As stated before if you’re up here and I spelled it  right but you  didn’t  get a notification there might be something  switched around in  your settings that won’t let me tag you properly?

#fluent freshman au #I swear they're going to be at Eden's next time #The Ice Cream discourse made me laugh enough that I ended up writing about Sweetie's instead lol #The majority of you looked at my boy and saw Vanilla and you are not wrong #The Waitress: Marge those boys brought someone new and he's funny. He told me to surprise him for the ice cream flavor. #Marge (manager): Well what are you going to surprise him with? #The Waitress: Well he got the burger with Jalapenos so he must like spice. We got that new flavor in right? Can I dig into early? #Marge (Manager): sure #Andrew watching Nicky and Neil whisper and bump shoulders: I'll definitely show him the Speak Easy once Nicky and Aaron are fucked up #I would like to thank my buddy Kim for helping me workshop the most damaging ice cream flavor to FF #Originally was googling weird ones but truly few could be worse for his tummy #And he left his tried and true pepto at home. This really isn't his night #AFTG #AFTG AU #AFTG OC #AFTG Fic #AFTG shitpost #my fic #FF - PT. 16

[tio-trile]

Oh good Neil Gaiman finally unfollowed me after all my bullshit I can be even more unhinged now

#It was really funny while it lasted #I think he followed me in 2018 and one day I summoned enough courage to ask him if he meant to follow me or did his son take his phone agai #He said he doesn't remember following me but then HE NEVER UNFOLLOWED after that #Can you imagine posting/reblogging everything thinking that Neil Gaiman is gonna see it. Every time I reblogged old men kissing #FOR FIVE YEARS #I'm finally free #I can post smut now -- (?? #I was starting to get a little respect for him after I've done nothing but talk shit about him on my dash for a week and he didn't unfollow #Guess he finally read what I said about the season lolol #Again: I'm getting to my unanswered asks! I'm not ignoring you! #The next ask involves that one fucking 36 pages essay so...I'm still working through that...... #Oh the things I do for my asks 🤦‍♀️

[goodomens-girlie]

everyone’s going on and on about how much they love turtleneck crowley

and don’t get me wrong I’m OBSESSED

but listen

#good omens #good omens s2 #good omens show #crowley #neil gaiman #crowley my legend #crowley and i should be friends #bildad the shuhite #bildad my beloved #bildaddy #drunk crowley #crowley deserves better #crowley drunk is so fucking funny

[attineilde]

kevin day when neil starts to open his mouth in front of cameras:

#i feel like im so fucking funny #aftg #all for the game #all for the gay #kevin day #neil josten #the foxhole court #exy is sexy #psu foxes #palmetto state foxes #aftg trilogy #kevneil #the raven king #the king's men

[kindly-gourd]

Dumb Dead Poets Headcanons:

- Charlie doesn’t know his left from his right, this was only made worse by marching band where directions are from the director’s (opposite) perspective (Charlie is such a band kid, he belongs in marching band)

- Neil is related to Steve Perry (lead singer of Journey) in a complicated second/third cousin twice removed kinda way. His family was never in contact with him, it’s just an odd thing they brag about a lot

- Meeks was a semi-popular Viner, not super big but he had at least one viral video that ended up in every vine compilation on YouTube

-Todd refuses to use big spoons, the only explanation he gives is that “the vibes are off” (Neil only uses big spoons in order to save the “good” ones for Todd. Todd does not know this reasoning and is horrified every time he sees it)

-Knox never zips up his coat, no matter how cold it gets. There’s no reason, he just doesn’t

-Pitts has a secret love of country music, only Meeks knows (they scream/sing along to Carrie Underwood together)

-Cameron’s first word was “taxes”

#these are dumb but I find them funny ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ #dead poets society #dead poets headcanons #charlie dalton #neil perry #stephen meeks #todd anderson #knox overstreet #gerard pitts #richard cameron #steven meeks #dps #anderperry #yes I already posted the anderperry spoons thing separately #I just felt like it fit here too #and I kinda forgot this was in my drafts tbh #I love Cameron I swear I just thought that would be so fucking funny