#need to talk I guess

[bashirenthusiast]

.

#need to get my thoughts out tonight #no one follows this blog so I just. #need to talk I guess #I don’t really know what I’m doing any more #I’m spiraling from an adderall crash #and I can’t help but feel that everyone hates me #I hate myself for not knowing the right thing to say #ever #like #how stupid do I have to be #to not be able to properly support the people around me? #Am I a terrible friend? #I’m happy for them I’m always happy for the people around me #but I can never say the right ducking thing ever #I’m going to lose my fucking mind #I don’t know #I don’t even know who I am anymore #what if this is all a waste of my time #I’m a shit fucking artist. #I’m shit at everything and everyone says I’m not but they’re all just saying that to make me feel better #it’s the same with my appearance #I’m a fat piece of shit who the fuck cares if I starve myself right? #like so what #what do I have to complain about #if I was skinny I’d be happy #and I wouldn’t feel like this #this is going no where #typing this isn’t making me feel better to be honest #I’m just really upset and I can’t sleep because I’m too scared to go to bed on my own #and I haven’t been able to ask anything of my mom or my dad

[somerandomdudelmao]

Part 2 :>

Ward just got a shapeshifter roommate ehehehehehhfjfjg~

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Masterpost References

#marble sky #marble sky comic #Ward #Sculptor #the blurry voice Sculptor was talking with #i guess haha #Ward stop staring and ask their name I need to put it in the tags goddamn #Holly #their name is Holly haha

[inkskinned]

before you know about women, you hear that you do not need to love the man, just that you need to love him through his manhood. which is to say you have seen the future painted in lamb's blood over your eyes - how your mother shoots you a look about your father's inability to cook right. how your aunt holds her wineglass and says i'm gonna kill em. men, right! how your best friend bickers with her boyfriend, how she says i can't help it. i come back to him.

you learn: men are gonna cheat. men aren't going to listen when you're talking, because you're nagging. men think emotions are stupid. they think your life is vapid and your hobbies are embarrassing. men will slam things, but that's because men are allowed to be angry. if you get loud, you're hysterical. if a man gets loud - well, men are animals, men are dogs, men can't control their hands or their eyes or their bodies. they're going to make a snide comment about you in the locker room, about your body, about how you're so fucking annoying. you're going to give him kids, and he will give you the money for the kids, and you're going to be running the house 24/7 - but he gets to relax after a long day, because his job is stressful. the man is on stage, and is a comedian, and says "women!"

and you are supposed to love that. you are supposed to love men through how horrible they are to you - because that's what women do. that's what good women do. wife material. your father even told you once - it'll make sense when you're older. it was like staring down a very lonely tunnel.

it feels like something's caught in your throat, but it's all you know, so. it's okay that you see sex as a necessary tool, a sort of okay-enough ritual to keep him happy, even though he doesn't seem to care about happiness as-applied-to you. it is relationship upkeep. it is kissing him and smiling even though he didn't brush his teeth. it is getting on your knees and looking up and holding back a sigh because he barely holds you as you panic through the night. it's not like the sex is bad and you do like feeling wanted. and besides! he's a man! like... they're another species. you'll never be able to actually communicate, right. he isn't listening.

you just don't get it. you don't feel that sense of i'm gonna climb him like a tree. mostly it just feels fucking exhausting. you play the part perfectly. you smile and nod and are "effortlessly" charming. and it's fine! it's alright! you even love him, if you're looking. you could have good life, and a good family, and perfectly happy.

in the late night you google: am i broken. you google i'm not attracted to my husband. you google i get turned on by books but not by him. you google how to get better in bed.

the first time he yells at you, it almost feels like blankness. like - of course this is happening. this is always how it was going to end up. men get angry, and they yell, and you sit there in silence.

you mention it to your friend - just the once - while you're drunk. she shrugs and says it's like that with me too, i just try to forget and move on. men are always gonna hear what they want to. pick your battles and say sorry even though he's in the wrong. you play solitaire online for a month. you go to your therapist appointment and preach about how you're both so in love.

after all, you have a future to want. nobody lied about it - how many instagram posts say marriage is hard. say real love takes work. say we fight like cats and dogs but the best part is that we always make up. how many of your friends say happy anniversary to the best and worst thing to ever happen to me. if you really loved him - loved yourself too - you'd accept that men are just different from you.

the first time she kisses you, it's on a dare at a party. something large and terrifying whips through your body. you wake up sweating from dreams where her mouth is encrusted with pearls and you pick them off one by one with your teeth. fuck. you sit at the computer and your almost-finished game of sim city. you think about your potential perfect life and your potential future family. you google am i gay quiz with your little hands shaking.

you delete each letter slowly. you don't need to love him. you just need to keep going.

#warm up #writeblr #this is also about being ace btw #my identity has slowly shifted over time and maybe if everyone is REAL cool i'll talk bout it #bc it's complicated and nuanced. but this is like #trying to warn u that if you find it “relationship upkeep” to have sex with ur partner #and don't actually enjoy it or seek it for urself. u might just not be attracted to them. #which is fine ! ace ppl can be perfectly happy in any relationship they feel good in! #but also i wasn't as straight as i had expected! #> the first time i saw dick i was like. huh. oh okay that's fine i guess #> the first time i saw pussy i was like. WAIT ACTUALLY HANG ON I GET IT #i just assumed sex wasn't all it was cracked up to be ya know #but also like. btw? this IS NOT saying ''u might be gay not ace'' #bc tbh i'm grey ace/demisexual #it's saying u might not be into ur partner. explore urself & ur feelings. turn inward. #TAKE THIS IN THE MANNER IT WAS MEANT> GENTLE AND KIND #AND NOT IN A WEIRD INTERNET WAY PLEASE #bc the truth is that there ARE ppl who are gay who assume that they just ''don't like'' sex #and ace ppl who might need a different partner w/different needs #and i would have REALLY needed to hear ''check in w/urself about if u actually like sex'' #WAY EARILIER in my life. but nobody said anything bc they assume if ur having sex. u like it. #not just the actual act of sex. not once ur turned on. do you ACTUALLY like it. or is it a burden? #even if ur gay. check w/urself. maybe ur more ace than u realized. in which case. ADDITIONAL FLAG BB #i love collecting my flags. i'm at like 354 at this point #but also btw this is about how toxic relationships are SO normalized that u can be in one #and have everyone around u being like ''THATS JUST MEN LOL''

[onawhimsicot]

i know not many people would want to read a 10,000 word article about the minecraft end poem and how the author, Julian Gough, was never fairly compensated for his work and has made it public domain.

But it's a very well-written and heartfelt read, and he makes it very clear that none of this is a cash-grab and despite the fact that he is essentially a starving artist in this capitalist society, he only mentions his financial struggles despite Minecraft's huge huge success at the bottom of this article and not in the tweets so as to not dilute his message.

Anyway, I just think it'd be cool if those who are able to could support him in some way whether it be subscribing to his substack or donating to his paypal (that's linked in the article, you can ctrl + F to find it easier), that's all.

#Edit: Please look at the article for his paypal and his substack!! most ppl are reblogging a version where i didnt mention it oh gosh #im not really. the kind of person to make posts like this and i dont have the spoons to make it look nice. #my tumblrs not that visible anyway so i guess it doesnt actually matter #i just think that understandably not many ppl would read through the entire article and it makes me so sad that even in the article #he talks about how badly he just wants to make art and not play the capitalism game and still he doesnt talk about needing support #on the platforms where it'd be most visible bc he doesnt WANT to play the capitalism game even if society dicates it and its meant to #be an act of LOVE and just. yeah. #minecraft #minecraft end poem #mineblr

[egophiliac]

(almost) four years in, and I finally had time to draw something for the anniversary! woo! 🎉🎉🎉

#art #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland spoilers #because i need to talk for a minute about how the plot of the anniversary story so far is literally just #crowley jumpscares us in our living room to demand we make him lunch and yuu is just like 'i need to start locking the door' #oh twst you always know just how to get me #the qol updates though! CONVERTING SINGLE KEYS INTO 10-SETS YES THANK YOU OH MY GOD #SKIP LESSON TICKETS!!!! #3X BATTLE SPEED!!!!!!!!!!!! #SAVE TEAM BUILDS AND SUPPORT CARDS FINALLY AHHHHH #oh and some other stuff too but look i NEEDED these things #also master chef grim! he's so precious! #though he's not going to get a little sporty uniform after all? #grim canonically flies in the nude i guess #no it's okay chef grim is ADORABLE #if you zoom in on his card you can see little smoodges from his inexpert cake decoration 😭 #which on the one hand is cute but on the other hand i'd been convinced he'd just slapped some frosting and candles on an actual can of tuna #anyway happy (a few days until the) fourth anniversary everybody! #i've been here since the beginning (preregistered during the dorm reveals babyyyy) and it REALLY doesn't feel like it's been four years #you know what they say: time flies when you're watching anime characters have emotional problems

[arcanewebs]

amazing episode EASILY one of my most favorite battle episodes of all time. How Ever is it insane of me to wish it went Just a little bit worse than it did. for the plot

#needed more riz torment LOWKEY. IM JUST SAYING. PUTS HANDS UP #HE DIDNT HAVE TO SEE FIRSTHAND THE POSESSIONS? DIDNT GET ATTACKED BY BARON PERSONALLY? #i mean i love the way kristen and adaine had those clutch loves that saved riz while he was in jawbones room but STILL #and im also glad baron didnt die. HOWEVER #IDK. HELP. #i really hope its talked about more in the ap or next episode or something #can we hear the word aromantic said out loud PLS! PLS? #aro community is Unsure how to feel? #ann bangers #dimension 20 #fantasy high #fhjy #fhjy spoilers #MOVES***** MOVES. MOVES. MOVES. I DONT HAVE AUTOCORRECT ON. FUCK I DIDNT CATCH IT EARLIER #yeah loves why not they all love each other it works i guess what tha hell

[findafight]

Robin chose Steve. Robin made the conscious and deliberate decision that she could and would trust Steve. She already liked him! She had fun working and bantering with him! They were already on their way to being weird little bffs and the torture just expedited the process. Steve chose Robin just the same! He thinks she's fun and cool and likes her so much! He chose to be honest and open with her too, putting himself out there.

Even though their interests on the surface level don't match why wouldn't they share them? Steve clearly caves when Robin wants to watch a movie he doesn't think he'll like, Robin can watch a March madness game or five.

Stop trying to take away their bond oh my god people can be close to more than one person!!! Their best friend doesn't have to be dismissive or mean or whatever in order for a romance to be special to them!

#if i have to see another fic or whatever that makes it seem like robin doesnt give a shit about what steve likes and talkes about im going #to scream and maybe even rampage #its nice to sit down and have someone who knows explain who the players are and what the stakes for this particular game!! #just because yall seem to not think anyone can be nutral towards sports doesnt mean people aren't #literally why is it so hard to believe robin would like to hear steve talk as much as steve likes to hear her talk #i am so close to telling some steddie shippers to not look at steve or robin or their friendship because some of yall do Not get it. #its like you can see them go 'have to make sure eddie is the most perfect specialest boy for steve...well that means robin doesn't Get Him ' #or 'robin ignores him/dismisses his interests/isnt told everything happening in his life' like okay dont ever touch them again thanks #robin is steves specialest sunshine cupcake goober girl. steve is robins bestest happy times sweet funnyman. dont u dare take that away. #omce again tsgs longer than the post but ah well. #stobin #platonic stobin #robin buckley #steve harrington #stranger things #finda's rambles #steve and robin #this is a scheduled post just to jazz things up i guess #but seriously some of yall need to STOP MESSIGN WITH STOBIN

[foolishlovers]

going to university/having a job really interferes with my good omens fanfic author career

#🤡 #can someone read some texts for me so i can write #sksksks 🥲 #i’ve written a bit on TOTP today tho #but i wanna write more… #need to read a book until tuesday tho and haven’t started #so i guess i have to prioritise that yikes #foolish talks #good omens #good omens fanfic #good omens shitpost

[stiffyck]

okay so yesterday i complained about how i dislike fanon desert duo and how toxic and dysfunctional they always seem to be so here are my favorite ways to interpret desert duo:

1- totally in love and head over heels for each other. they love each other, they tease each other, they make fun of each other but its always in good spirits. they hold hands and kiss and theyre sweet.

theyre like the perfect couple.

2- the aro ace solidarity. everyone keeps telling them how cute theyd be togehter and how its so obvious they have crushes on each other and to just "tell him you like him!".

So at some point theyre like. "Should we... date?" so they try but it's so weird. Scar doesn't like the kissing, grian isn't particularly fond of hand holding, scar doesn't want to cuddle and it's just. More awkward than anything. The others tell them "finally" and "aw you guys are so cute!"

At some point when they're both alone- "Scar I don't want to date you." "Oh thank God me neither"

they keep calling each other "partner" and shit but they most of the romantic stuff. They talk shit about others. "Ew did you see that. They just kissed." "I know right? Unbelievable. We're right here."

#stiff talk #enjoy #the fluff for you #i might draw them later #desert duo #do i need to tag this with the neg tag too??? i mentioned how i complained but like. tbh thats my personal opinion #if you like that type of stuff good for you i guess #gtws #grian #hermitshipping #scarian #theres both platonic and romantic desert duo here #love both of them

[humming-fly]

sadly Arthur can't make friends with every cute woodland creature he comes across in the medieval countryside I can't believe the setting for season 5 has been out for over a month and I haven't seen a single monty python reference yet I guess I'll do it myself

in the spirit of choose-your-own-adventures here's an alternative timeline

#does discussing s5's setting count as spoilers real talk #it's been known for well over a month by this point right #malevolent #malevolent podcast #mp #arthur lester #john doe #monty python #monty python and the holy grail #malevolent spoilers #Not really but like?? I guess to be nice?? #oh god 2am a return to form #wasn't originally planning to do two comics but i kind of liked both gags #with john describing the Horrors and arthur getting mauled #both are good fun so figured why not Really stay up later than I need to

[housecow]

so. covid happened and i never saw some people from high school again. i have this dream of being unrecognizable..

like. we run into each other at the local grocery store, which is normal. i’m using one of those scooters and spilling off either side, fat wobbling as we wind through each aisle. i struggle reaching to fill the cart with my food so my feeder does it for me, even though he does like to see me move a swollen, jiggling arm out to grab another box of brownie mix (“we haven’t tried this one in a shake!”). we hit a drive thru before so i have a 32oz milkshake in the other hand, of course

my friend tries not to look at the fatass rolling by. the cart makes a noticeable noise and it takes up an awful lot of room—but i say “oh my gosh, is that you?” and then we make eye contact

they’re a little horrified, and it’s amazing. eyes widened noticeably, a sharp intake of breath, maybe even something like an “oh!” or “jesus!” but they school their expression quickly and we exchange pleasantries, asking about each other’s life. i pretend not to notice the double take at my size

i tell them i graduated with my bachelors and then met him, my feeder (though i don’t announce exactly that, it’s very obvious). i was in a phd program and doing well, but, lol, he knocked me up. we don’t mention it, but i was getting pretty fat by this point and having his kids was the perfect excuse to put everything else away. i promised myself i’d go back but life happens! my friend totally gets it, or that’s what they say at least.

the first were twins and when i mention that, my feeder’s hand, laid on my shoulder, tenses and squeezes the soft fat there. he promised to do that again last night, though this time his goal is to get me bed bound.

i take a sip from the shake before we continue talking and my old friend is probably wondering how far gone someone has to be to have a milkshake at 10am. but they’re still pleasant and by the time we move on they’re shell shocked. at the enabling, at the changes in less than 10 years, and for just how far gone he’s made me

#hmmm #i need to write more for this later #forgot to do nyt connections and it reset i think :(( #got the worldle in only 3 guesses tho >:3 #there’s so much more to be said here #10 yr reunion fantasies next #talk #wg text #feedism. #feeder/feedee

[alibonbonn]

iliad brainworm project update! 

- made some shield sketches (not pictured: Agamemnon’s shield, it’s actually the coolest shield) - Ajax gets a special shield because it shields him and Teucer

- Armor(s) of  Achilles, ongoing metal polishing hell

- A more detailed sketch of the shield

#wip #pls talk to me about the armor of achilles i need someone to be annoying to!!!! #tagamemnon #the iliad #concept art #i guess?? #alidraws

[delizbin]

Guess I’m once again back in the rabbit hole…

#effie trinket #alice talks #good lord #hunger games #once again here we are #i regret nothing #i love her fondly still and I missed her so much #can someone bring elisabeth banks back to her effie era please i need that #i never thought i’d be here once again but eeh… life’s a circle I guess

[writer-room]

Obsessed with Lloyd never mentioning his grandfather is the First Spinjitsu Master, apparently to the point even Arin didn't seem to know, because "eh, it never came up". Cause like, yeah, sure, my grandfather is God, what of it? Normal day for me. Shit happens. My dad is also evil, you wanna talk about that? I sure don't.

It's also funny from a character arc perspective. Here's itty bitty baby first season Lloyd, loudly proclaiming he's the son of Garmadon, and probably also making sure everyone knows he's God part 3 electric boogaloo. And then one Tomorrow's Tea and a few more years later and he's doing everything physically possible to NOT care about his heritage. In fact he'd probably rather his parentage was literally anyone else. Dude could care so less he forgets about it most of the time. King behavior.

#ninjago #dragons rising #ninjago dragons rising #ninjago dr #lego ninjago #lloyd garmadon #first spinjitzu master #garmadon #text post #talk #ideas #lloyd that entire time interally was probably like 'did wu get a temple--? oh wait thats granddad. sorry granddad. i guess' #he took one look at that altar and went hm. should probably fix that. mostly cause it'll fix my problem but wu didnt raise no disrespect #(except for when the disrespect is funny) what who said that #do you think he was like 'oh thank granddad finally my godly heritage isnt screwing me over' when the ghost mentioned needing a descendant #or was he like 'well. its another day of me being grandfathers favorite i guess' #do you think sora and arin felt awkward realizing they were in the temple of lloyds granddad. meanwhile lloyd did not give a flying fck #as far as hes concerned granddad can stuff it cause hes 80% all the sht that happens to him is bc God really likes him & thinks starting #problems is an appropriate way to show his love. and he doesnt think god takes constructive criticism #he sure will try tho #also yknow his closest interactions with Gods are his dad & uncle. & Wu is. like that. & also he's so sick of garmadon's bs #'my dad is literally banging some news guy i could not respect him less if i tried. his taste has only ever been mediocre. sorry mom'

[royalarchivist]

Fit: This is actually kinda fun. Ok, so: Cucuruchito, what is your favorite food?

Cucuruchito: Oh darling, as an entity I don't eat, however, I am quite partial to the idea of a charming quesadilla. They are the star of my home, Quesadilla Island, after all. Now, what about you, sweetie? What tantalizes your taste buds?

Fit: I mean, Cucuruchito, you keep talking to me like that, I mean uh... [Laughs] Called me "sweetie," I mean, I dunno what's gonna happen. Um, my favorite food is probably... steak. [He shrugs] Maybe that's why I like Brazil so much.

Cucuruchito: Oh, Fit, you've got me blushing like a ripe tomato! I can see that you're the steak to my sizzling hot plate. Don't you think our conversation has more sizzle than a steak on a hot grill? Perhaps we could have that steak together next time and add more spice to this little rendezvous. Winking face.

Fit: [Dying in the background, trying to compose himself] WHAT THE FCK. WHAT?! [Shouts]

Cucuruchito:

Fit: [Runs away and laughs] Fck it, I can't I can't, I can't do this, I can't do this, I can't fcking do this. I cannot do– [Laughs]

#Cucuruchito #FitMC #QSMP #Fit #The Federation finally discovered Fit's one weakness: it's flirting #You know I talk a lot about how cute Pac is when he's embarrassed but Fit's reaction was cute too #I need to see one of them play a dating game or something I want to see them get flustered by goofy flirts lmao #I will say Fit and Pac as a couple are great because they both absolutely Crumble at the slightest flirt #Minus whatever the hell Fit and Phil do #Just old war-buddy stuff I guess

[forgetful-nerd]

So uh- if 2003! Donnie met 2012! Donnie do y’all think he’d be slight unsettled by his reddish eyes because of…..ya know….

The “Good Genes” episode?

#2003 Donnie: hey uh. you know if you needs someone to talk to. i’ve got some experience with the whole ‘monster mutant’ thing #2012 Donnie: hm yeah being turned into a vampire was a bit unsettling I guess #2003 Donnie: what? #2012 Donnie: what? #idk man this though has been on my mind for a few weeks #like sometimes 2012 D’s eyes are just red looking ya know? #tmnt #tmnt 2012 #teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt 2003 #tmnt crossover #2012 donnie #2003 donnie #2003 donatello #2012 donatello #donatello #tmnt donatello