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haveyouseenthisskeleton · 1 year

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Where would the boys take their girl/boyfriend on a first date?

Undertale Sans - Somewhere a bit fancy because his brother yelled at him because he wanted to just invite you home and hang out. You're in one of Mettaton's excentric restaurants, and you're so awkward as Mettaton clearly didn't get the hint and flirts with you the whole time, trying to separate you from Sans by throwing money at his face so he goes do a comedy show on the scene or something. That's not a very good first date, but with time, you found it hilarious.

Undertale Papyrus - He brings you along to a marathon. Ok, maybe it's because he loves marathons and didn't think that maybe you don't like running. At least he is nice, he waits for you when you are struggling after only ten minutes. It's not your best memory. Papyrus figures you're not the sportive type after that and decides more chill dates will do.

Underswap Sans - He drags you to see a cool cave near the beach. It was fun and cute until the sea level turns up and you both had to hold your breath to not drown as you're waiting for the rescuers. The rescuers said that there were signs all around them asking to not enter this cave. Blue didn't tell them he kinda destroyed them all to not waste the moment...

Underswap Papyrus - Comic con time! You're having a great time waiting in queues for hours to see your favorite celebrities for three minutes! Except you didn't see any because you fainted midway because of how hot it was in the queue and had to be evacuated, yeah. Eh, at least your favorite celebrity carried you to the infirmary even if you didn't see it because you passed out. Honey took a photo of you two for the memories. It's, uh, not the best day.

Underfell Sans - Edge convinced him to have their first date in a zoo and gave them an address. Except it's not a zoo. It's a farm. And not the best of them. There's poop everywhere, you got attacked by an angry goat and Red lost his left hand inside a pig's mouth and had to wait for several hours for the pig to reject it. You both decided to never talk about this date ever again.

Underfell Papyrus - Classic restaurant. He's a very classic guy. It went all well until you choke on a piece of bread and almost die. Thank god your knight in shining armor is here to help! He does the Heimlich maneuver on you and saves you. You also vomit all over his nice suit and he broke two of your ribs. You end the night at the hospital with Edge assuring you it's alright and you both dying of shame and pain in the bed. This is fine.

Horrortale Sans - He promised you he would show you the Underground, so he takes you there. You... Uh... Didn't expect to teleport right in front of human corpses in advanced rotting state. Uh... That's awkward. It becomes even more awkward when after walking in Snowdin you walk in one of Willow's old trap and suddenly find yourself hanging upside down by the ankle to a tree. After that, Oak decides maybe it's best to just hang out in his farm. You never were so happy to see their farm again.

Horrortale Papyrus - He wants to prove you he's not an old man and still has the moves, so he takes you to a nightclub. Both of you realize it's a mistake the second you see everyone in there is naked. To be honnest, neither of you knew naturist nightclubs were a thing. You decide to go watch a movie instead and never talk about that ever again.

Swapfell Sans - You're excited when he invites you to the museum. Well, that is before you realise it's a historical torture museum with a lot of machines and weird tools to hurt and cut pieces of people. Nox is very exciting though and he insists you try to stick your head in the big guillotine and tries the big seat to drown witches. He doesn't understand why you're not that enthusiast about all this. Clearly his idea was better than yours!

Swapfell Papyrus - He bought 2 million rubber duckies and filled his room with it. You sure didn't expect this. Rus screams to you he is hidden in the duckies and that if you want to hang out, you need to find him. You did, but at what cost. As soon Nox comes home, he is screeching hysterically that you have an hour to clean everything or he kills the both of you. You spend the rest of the day and night cleaning Rus' room with him in silence. Awkward.

Fellswap Gold Sans - You went to a medieval festival. It was lovely until Wine drunk a little too much wine and decided to fight you in duel with real swords in front of a very exciting crowd that thought you were just two actors having fun. You spend your afternoon running in circles and begging people for help as they all laugh at you. It ends when Wine finally passes out after one more too much glass. You drag the skeleton home as he's singing salacious songs out loud.

Fellswap Gold Papyrus - You went to a trampoline park, and it was so nice! Until Coffee tries to impress you by doing a triple jump and falls out of the trampoline on the cold concrete floor, almost breaking his neck. You spend the rest of the day screaming at the people who own the place for the lack of safety, and then argue the rest of the night with Wine who won't let go of the fact you attempted to kill his brother. And then Coffee keeps crying, saying he is sorry he is an idiot, and you tell him he is not an idiot and now has to comfort him. Your headache is atrocious.

#undertale #underswap #underfell #horrortale #swapfell #fellswap gold #undertale ask blog #undertale asks #undertale imagines #undertale headcanons #sans #papyrus

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autumnleaves2023 · 1 year

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Roses are Rosie 🌹

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toplesstopics · 7 months

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So longtime friend of the Topless Topics community mrich (as we all know him by) and I have been tossing around a #podcast idea for a while (I know, I know…this one will be good though, I promise ;p) and I could use y'alls help in solidifying the concept before we jump in to making it.

Basically, the thought is to provide two different but respectful opinions on a variety of subjects--I'm a cis white woman "coastal elite" from California, he's a cis black man from the South, and we're both #progressive #leftists and huge nerds (especially #gaming !) We're also both #normalizeNudity (and of course #freeTheNipple / #topless #equality ) supporters, raised #nudist / #naturist though I reject the specific label these days (I got a whole video about it at toplesstopics.org/nomorenudism if you're curious), and #sexPositive - I'm #bisexual and #polyamorous , he's straight and monogamous, but totally cool with other models, as long as it's all #consensual . We also (so many commonalities!) are both quite #artistic - he's mainly into #portrait #photography while I'm into #illustration both #digitalIllustration and #traditionalIllustration .

While we're still figuring out the structure of the podcast, the idea is to have a few somewhat disparate sections to it - gaming/ #comics / #cosplay /etc, then brief reaction to current #politics / #news (like #feminism , #LGBTQ , #racialJustice , anti- #capitalism , and so much more), and (hopefully) an interview with someone interesting ( #sexWorker , #activist , #artist , etc…whoever we can find that seems like they'd be a good fit for the pod! Then finally, maybe an "ask us anything" advice/reaction section to round out the episode.

I'm thinking we aim for <= 2 hours, one episode per month, but if we really get into it, maybe an episode every other week. I'm still gonna have to edit it and I have a lot else on my plate so I don't want to overextend myself too much. If we happen to stumble into wild success maybe I could hire someone else to do that part in the future, then we could record more often :p

On some subjects, of course I will defer to his expanded first-hand experience, like #racialInequality . And on other subjects, it'll be mostly my turn to step onto the soapbox, namely about what it's like to be a woman in this #misogynist #sexist world. We've chatted for many hours over the years and always gotten along swimmingly, so I don't anticipate undue friction in the longterm (a benefit of having so many like-minded opinions already). But I still think we have enough difference in life experiences to provide an interesting perspective on a variety of topics.

What do you think? Does any of that seem interesting to you? What kinds of things / people to interview would you like to see on a podcast created by a pair of different similar leftist nerds? Would you listen to such a podcast? Please, lay your feedback on me! All replies welcome, as long as you're not being a total jerk ❤️

#podcast #feminism #lgbtq #racial equality #social justice #equal rights #gender equality #leftist #progressive #topfree equality #gaming #comics #cosplay #webcomics #nerd #geek #nerd culture

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lafcadiosadventures · 11 months

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Madame Putiphar Readalong. Book Two, Chapter XV

Featuring this week:

The Portrait of a Nobleman as a Well Dressed Criminal Beyond Legal Punishment

further fleshing out of Fitz-Harris, an atypical court jester/manservant-as-comic-relief

Clarissa surprised by Lovelace, from a series of illustrations after Stothard for Richardson's Clarissa.

Last chapter closed with a brief line about Fitz-Harris’ having the act of talking as the focus of his “monomania”. This was a 19th century medical term (defined by the littré as a “madness or delirium concerning a single object”) (readers of Balzac will be familiar) Fitz-Harris being portrayed as an irrefreinable, almost ""pathological"" chatterbox, and the choice of the scientific term is interesting to me because:

1)It possibly ties Fitz-Harris with a previous famous working class “monomaniac of talking”, (although Diderot does not call him that iirc) of French Literature, one that Borel was familiar with: Diderot’s Jacques the Fatalist. In Jacques’s case, being a chatterbox is not a negative trait. (and Jacques, although occasionally morally ambiguous, is more of a positive character than Fitz-Harris) Although he’s not always control his loquacity, it reveals Jacques’ a narrative fecundity, how his brain engenders infinite stories. (The Master finds this trait both entertaining when he’s bored AND upsetting when he wants quiet, because he thinks of Jacques not as a whole person, but rather, an appliance: sometimes a radio, a bodyguard, a manservant) however, Diderot has the assertive, formidable Jacques apologize for his excessive chatter once or twice, illustrating how it is something he cannot always control, and can cause him discomfort.

2) Why use the word monomania? As we hear Fitz-Harris speak directly in chapter 15, we see his talk is peppered not only with jokes and word play, and puns, but also with scientific jargon (he knows some botany, he talks about naturists). He is a kind of shakesperean court jester to the marquis de Villepastour, (although he never abuses the man, he certainly speaks in a bolder manner than usual for a mere soldier talking to his aristocratic superior) but he’s up to the modern scientific lingo as well.

We have talked before how Borel mocks phrenology in the 1st chapter of this book, how he laughs at the archaeologists trying to study the Druidic vestiges through a far removed, theoretic approach while ignoring similar customs still in practice in neighbouring countries of shared Celtic origin... Borel seems to have many problems with the uses of science of his day. Fitz-Harris goes on about the naturalists, the classifying of plants, dissecting the marquis’ metaphor to render it meaningless. He uses scientific jargon to divert and distract, which, could be another jab at the role of science. Of course Fitz-Harris is half heartedly trying to divert the talk away from Debby, or pretending to want to do so, but nothing forced Borel to pick science as Harris’ special interest.

(We get our 1st mention of the titular Character, Madame Putiphar. Swans of the wrong color / court swans. I feel like cygnes de la cour is an allusion to something but I have no idea to what and I have a feeling I am missing the joke here?)(cam suggested the swans are pure while the court is corrupted but it seems that it’s not a preexisting clichéed phrase)

We finally meet Villepastour as well, whom Borel has been mentioning briefly in the last couple of Parisian chapters. He is a solidly built character character, completely nasty of course, but keeping it all behind a polite, refined façade. He is a poem on the trope of the depraved nobles of the 18th c (their credo extensively portrayed by sade, laclos, etc). Keeping a polished appearance is of utmost importance, while still indulging their worst impulses and getting away with it.

So, when Fitz-Harris complains to his superior (alla Jacques the fatalist complaining to his master that he is more than just a "Jacques". Fitz-Harris is possibly a perversion of Figaro as well, 18th c french lit seems to feature some amount of servants suddenly asking to be treated as humans) that it's HIM who is being disrespected -a bold claim from a pleb to a noble- because after all, Villepastour is treating him, Fitz-Harris, like a lowly pimp, he is completely correct. However, Fitz-Harris is very enthusiastic in earning his superiors approval and ruining Patrick, and depriving him of whatever advantages he has that Harris doesn’t enjoy (a wife, the admiration of Villepastour)

A bit on Villepastour’s admiration. Again, didn’t Almaviva admire Figaro? As a servant, he did! But he also believed servants are his appliances and playthings, so he sees no contradiction in taking Figaro’s wife-to-be’s virginity, benefiting from his droit du signeur. The same happens with Villepastour, he respects Patrick’s integrity, he understands he is a capable and honorable professional soldier, but the breach separating nobles from plebs is too vast, he knows Patrick is his subordinate, his instrument, and he can take his wife for fun if he wants to because these people are either his playthings or his tools.

Villepastour is also completely aware that what he is doing is wrong and plays holier-than-thou with Harris, accusing him of betraying his brother, his beloved Pylades, his friend in a foreign land, Patrick Fitz-Whyte. And this is of course, completely true as well, as per the narrator filling us in on how jealous and envious he is, how ready he is to badmouth others -AND himself, which is interesting, possibly adding to the jester aspect-. He certainly did try and make Villepastour lose his admiration for Fitz-Whyte, all while wearing the mask of friendship for his fellow compatriot.

After the dialogue we get Villepastours’ proper introduction by the narrator (remember how Borel used to introduce his characters -escept perhaps Fitz-Harris- letting us hear them speak before, and giving us “objective” biographies after the reader had had a chance to make up their mind about their personality via dialogue)

We are told he was born during Philippe d’Orleans Regency, a period thought of in the 1840’s as one of sexual freedom, and or “depravity” (“(...)tu es très Régence mon vieux ! Voilà ce que c’est que d’être trop bel homme !” says Vautrin to his henchman Paccard, nicknamed fameux lapin, possibly implying he is fond of having sex, and lots of it. Earlier, in Splendeurs as well we get:“elle était franche dans sa dépravation, elle avouait son culte pour les mœurs de la Régence.” regency -> possibly romantic shorthand for a period of -ugh how to word this. Aristocratic Excesses and Debauchery)

So of course there has to be a sexual scandal in Villepastour’s Regency Origin Story. He is rumoured to be the fruit of incest, so his blood is thought of as being extremely purified and refined (these gossips had possibly not heard of Habsburg lips?) He was backed and protected by a shadowy hand of possibly royal origin. He owes this protector being a colonel at age 25, we are told. (again, there’s no illusion of a meritocracy in the ancien régime Paris of Madame Putiphar)

Villepastour is also a hunter, but a gentleman hunter. That is to say, he pursues sex at all cost, but has some restraint and decorum his Regency predecessors didn’t. What does this decorum entail? We will soon see. He also stuck to traditional definitions of Right and Wrong, of Justice and Injustice “I don’t dare say (he stuck to) feelings (of right and wrong/justice injustice)”, the narrator says. That is so good, once again, it’s all about seeming, rather than being moral. He sticks to the correct forms that make himself look good to others.

These concepts were inculcated by his preceptor, a man from the old court of Louis XIV, the “grand règne”, -XIV’s government usually seen as the pinnacle of french monarchy- but they only managed to give Villepastour a patina of morality, making of him nothing more than “some kind of hypocrite” a false, ridiculous and perfumed biped form of Dupaty’s Voyage en Italie or The Letters to Emilie on Mythology by Dumoustier. (My copy's translator informs on the footnotes both books are rather sappy, sentimental literature from the 18th c)

So, the narrator sums up, Villepastour is completely satisfied with Harris’ debriefing, he merely pretends to be cross and appalled at his dishonour because he does not want to show gratitude to a man incapable of showing restraint (again, it’s all in the form, acting proper, having manners while pursuing sinister purposes)

That very Sunday, armed with Fitz-Harris' intel, Villepastours gets ready to accost Debby at mass. He wears springtime green, simbolizing his amorous hopes (like the green knight of Youth did in the poem/prologue)(the association of green with desire as seen in the expression vert-gallant, Richelieu’s fabled green velvet seduction outfit, the song Greensleeves and surely more, seems to be lost nowadays)

So he wears green, he douses himself in perfume, he wears All of the Lace, to seduce Debby. And forth he goes, completely ignoring the fact that a) Debby is not into him b) she is seriously religious and actually at church to pray, c)is incredibly uncomfortable because she doesn’t want to bring attention to herself by loudly rejecting him -which sadly shows that Debby is not completely devoid of the bad aspects of feminine gender role conditioning-

The man is disgusting and relentless, touching her, stealing her glove, whispering flirty phrases in latin -because he is ~classy~—interestingly, women were not usually taught latin and it was used to be able to get away with rude/sexual expressions in front of supposedly unsuspecting women—the latin here however gets translated we don’t know if by villepastour or by the narrator-, into her ear, and Debby endures all of this rather than make herself the focus of attention by standing/changing places/leaving mass early. She is incredibly uncomfortable, but she doesn’t show it. She looks like a statue. Cold and un-responsive. But once she’s outside the church she dares talk back, and asks him to leave her alone. He tries to guilt trip her instead, asking for mercy, as such passion inspired by her excessive beauty can only be cured by being sated, etc etc. Debby asks of him merely to stop dishonouring her, she is in danger of having her reputation ruined. And for a man as concerned with appearances as Villepastour, invoking HONOUR works like a spell. Yes, he claims to care for her honour -to him that means, her keeping an appearance of respectability- so he lets her go, but. Of course he follows her discretely to check her address. Once he confirms where she lives, he strolls away, with a content, almost playful air.

#madame putiphar #long post #text post #q

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