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if-the-crown-fits-translate-it · 3 years

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Discord pt 64

[Date: 08/03, 6.01 AM - 08/03, 6.32 AM GMT]

[Direct continuation from pt 63]

[CW: Manipulation, stalking]

C R O W N: “are you all happier without me?”

Maxwell: “yes”

C R O W N: “...”

fetch: “we might be, yeah.”

C R O W N: “...”

Marcus: “...guys”

fetch: “just get out of here, dammit”

C R O W N: “i see”

Maxwell: “leave”

Marcus: “Baron and prince and lizzy are still with him”

jayyyyyyyy: “yeah, but theyre not in the court”

Marcus: “They are jay”

jayyyyyyyy: “crowns lost so much power. rescuing the others will be childsplay”

Marcus: “They’re still there”

Little-K1ng: “this is a weird vibe, just 3 dudes in my living room. i hope you guys know i have like, a bed and then a couch and also a floor”

Maxwell: “i call the floor”

Marcus: “That just makes him stronger”

Marcus: “Less people to control”

Little-K1ng: “floor is now called for, fetch can have the bed, and marcus gets couch i guess!”

Maxwell: “i can sleep anywhere man i used to sleep on the floor for fun as a kid!”

Little-K1ng: “zero porch sleepers, PLEASE,”

C R O W N: “I'm sorry. I just wanted to give Ranboo a happy family.”

Maxwell: “no you didnt bitch”

fetch: “just get OUT”

Maxwell: “that aint how a family works”

fetch: “get these squirrels out of my fuckin yard”

C R O W N: “...fine”

Marcus: “Do you remember what I said when this family asked about my thoughts on Dream?”

C R O W N: “yes”

Maxwell: “....i forgot how much of a dogboy you were fetch, heh...nice to see ya again man”

Little-K1ng: “[calling out of my front door to the street] ay fuck off pal not tonight”

fetch: “Pff, you too ya little rat”

Marcus: “I would like to change my answer.”

Marcus: “You are no better than Dream. You are no different than the man who you described as a horrible person. You are no savior.”

C R O W N: “...”

Marcus: “You are a coward.”

Maxwell: “ey i may be little but i can bite your kneecaps”

C R O W N: “...

:(”

Little-K1ng: “okay so i cant believe how not surprised i am but.... at the moment maxwell... theres orange juice in the fridge and cookies in the pantry (they're oatmeal raisin for your Health), if "someone" (you) starts bleeding again just sit and chill”

Little-K1ng: “but definitely get at those snacks”

Maxwell: “thanks man, sorry for barging in”

Marcus: “...what the hell are we wearing?”

Little-K1ng: “nah its all good ill be in a better mood once these bad boys! [holds out 2 excedrin] actually kick in”

Marcus: “WHAT HAPPENED TO MY HAIR”

Maxwell: “THATS WHAT I WANNA KNOW”

fetch: “I dunno man but hey max, you look good in a skirt”

Little-K1ng: “i mean you do suit the skirt”

Maxwell: “IM IN A SKIRT AND WHILE I DONT MIND SKIRTS ITS BEEN A WHILE MAN”

Maxwell: “.........hUh”

Marcus: “How the hell did I run in demonias what the fuck”

Maxwell: “i mean ive got combat boots so thats good but seriously man how the fuck did you run in those”

Marcus: “My hair isn’t supposed to be short”

fetch: “Okay you rock the demonias but are your ankles okay”

Little-K1ng: “yall are so fashionable i am almost not going to offer better clothes”

fetch: “...

ow ow ow

gys

watchdogs”

Little-K1ng: “wh?”

fetch: “gdox”

Maxwell: “i know ive got a button up on but not having a cloak or sweater of somesort feels horrid”

Marcus: “Fetch?”

fetch: “ow

gdoc”

[Crown edited onto the google doc: "I'm sorry i'll be good just please come back i don't want to lose anyone else it hurts i already lost tommy and now you all left me please come back please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please"]

Maxwell: “AW SHIT HERE WE GO AGAIN”

Marcus: “Fuck”

fetch: “hes tampering”

dreaming: “fetch you okay?”

Little-K1ng: “woah dude hey hey sit its okay just sit”

Little-K1ng: “the doc...”

Maxwell: “uh oh”

fetch: “ow ow wh at the fu c k”

Maxwell: “the fuck happened to tommy what is he on about”

Little-K1ng: “WOAH okay so fetch just hit the floor”

Maxwell: “shit fetch you okay”

Marcus: “Fuck, do you have tissues? His nose is bleeding”

Little-K1ng: “AH AH HEY UH HELP ME uh hes bleeding flip him over”

Little-K1ng: “hes bleeding a lot dont let him drown”

Maxwell: “oh god okay”

Little-K1ng: “cmon recovery position dont you know that?? ok”

Marcus: “Yeah of course”

Maxwell: “dont lay him down yeah he'll choke on the blood if we do”

Little-K1ng: “okay hes good just. drooling blood onto the floor okay, thats, ew, but not the first time”

Little-K1ng: “oh yeah the doc huh? okay that alteration must have really hurt”

A random Spark: “It was a big one, a whole page”

Little-K1ng: “oh ouch”

Maxwell: “so should we try to leave it for now for fetch to fix when he wakes up to not hurt him more?”

Little-K1ng: “okay, note to self, buy more excedrin

this weeks trauma is sponsored by excedrin”

Maxwell: “what the shit happened to tommy?”

jayyyyyyyy: “tommy died??”

Maxwell: “HE WHAT”

jayyyyyyyy: “I DONT KNOW??”

Maxwell: “I WAS GONE FOR LIKE A DAY”

Little-K1ng: “yeah uh, he kinda, look ok yall can explain that and ill just. try to clean this up”

Mothbo: “Max, it's been much longer than a day.”

Maxwell: “what”

Little-K1ng: “a... a day ??”

Marcus: “...max”

Maxwell: “how...long has it been”

boo: “a month or so”

Maxwell: “god my head hurts this is too much to process”

Little-K1ng: “hahaa,, yeah no you've never met me, its been an awful lot longer than that, look, we've had a long night, the sprinklers are staying on overnight, just sit and we can get some sleep, yeah? ill stay with fetch and make sure he doesnt choke”

Little-K1ng: “ill get you the snacks and you can recover from the blood loss, sound good?”

Marcus: “I can um”

Maxwell: “thanks so much man...”

Marcus: “I can stay up and help these two, I basically took care of them back at the-

You know”

Maxwell: “okay...tomorrow....yall havge a lto og explaining to fo”

Marcus: “You don’t look well, Mona you should rest”

Maxwell: “im going to slepw nihgt fucekrs ha....its good to be back”

Little-K1ng: “i appreciate the concern, good night marcus. nice to meet you :)”

Marcus: “It’s uh, nice to meet you too

Goodnight”

Mothbo: “rest well, Max. Please stay safe okay? We missed ya”

Maxwell: “course....”

[jayyyyyyyy: “have a nice first night free marcus! :]”]

Marcus: “...thank you”

Chat: “...”

katichu (derogatory): “Chat?”

jayyyyyyyy: “hi, chat. you maybe wanna take off your crown, mate?”

Chat: “You know what? I really don't care anymore. I should've known who you all really were when you first showed your true colors by being so hateful to crown and the family. You're all nothing to me :) And guess what? I'm completely fine with that!!”

A random Spark: “We made our choice”

Chat: “Yep! And I've made mine, and I'm completely fine with knowing that I've done nothing but right by Crown, and that none of this is my fault and I'm not to blame for anything and I haven't done anything wrong and it's perfectly fine and I'm okay!!”

Chat: “I know you never cared about me anyway. You don't need to keep saying it. I have my family and I'm h a p p y n o w”

[jayyyyyyyy: “We do care about you. We're also all tired as fuck.”]

Chat: “Right.”

Chat: “I'll be leaving now. Thank you for nothing.”

#on:discord #by:chat #by:crown #by:marcus #by:maxwell #by:fetch #if the crown fits

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macklives · 4 years

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hey so this is gonna be a long-ish one. ive decided its been far too long since i did a session, and we did so many i can often forget what happened. i started in july and im pretty sure its been more than half a year now since this whole blog happened. and in that time, we’ve gone through 88 sessions and i want to know if i remember the relevant plot points and what we got up to in the last few sessions. a refresh/reminder if you would.

so i hereby commence my own little recap of act 5 because yeah no, its too much to do a recap of everything and i have andrew for that after every few acts. but i wanna refresh my mind on act 5 for now. so here we go.

1. alternia.. fucked up place. but its a place the trolls live on so what are we gonna do about it? overthrow the government? seems about right, lets do that with the next troll that gets introduced and if its not kanaya idk what andrew is doing by not having introduced the best troll yet. why the long wait? it was the second introduced? i honestly expected it to go in order when i first read act 5, because first we had karkat talk to jade which was the first new piece dialogue in the comic besides the main kids, but then we had kanaya with rose, which was followed by tavros, then terezi (iirc). so id assume we were following that order but nope karkat got fully introduced, then this random fucking juggalo called gamzee made its way into the comic. imagine my surprise.

2. theres been terminology throughout act 5, that i do not fucking know and will not remember and probably never will. like tf is a perigee again? i made a doc somewhere ill probably find it.

3. karkat’s introduction... short but very sweet. and by sweet i mean we got to know the depths of the angry edge lord. and by depths i mean karkat got angry at gamzee for typing in a way that he didnt like so he yapped like a chihuahua. nah, but seriously, i do like karkat tho, hes growing on me but only bc hes a bitch baby and his whole personality makes me want to mock him so thats the reason im not that annoyed and think hes funny, and the most harmless troll. even more so than tavros. and thats saying something. 7.5/10 bc im generous.

4. then gamzee... the high juggalo troll who has the worst typing quirk imo, i cannot for the life of me read it. but hes chill, i actually really like gamzee. hes funny and the least problematic as of right now. 8.5/10.

5. terezi’s introduction next i think. she likes playing as a lawyer with her stuffed dragons, ie by roleplay, shes blind, can see through licking, and she likes eating chalk, maybe its even nutritious. shes good. 9/10.

6. uhh in the process of these intros, there are teams being made? karkat joins gamzee and terezi in, i THINK, the red team?? bc terezi likes red?? could be wrong, i dont remember the teams except that its red/blue to represent sollux’s duality in those colors. terezi then tries recruiting AC but AC is like lol sorry i have to ask this friend of mine who has authority over me for some goddamn reason and terezi goes yuck tf i hate that guy................... yeah thats all we have on the teams. pretty sure sollux had smth to do with karkat about the making of the leaders, and they did the “i hate me” and the “no i hate me more than u hate u” or whatever the fuck that was. they got embarrassed afterwards and deleted their messages. im pretty sure they have no messages because everything ends up being mutually deleted so their logs are actually empty. ngl, kinda enjoyed their convos, made me appreciate their characters. i hope we get more because its good content. i also dont know what order this whole thing is in, who contacted who first? couldnt tell you. ill remember later on. and since im basing this off from memory alone, gotta deal with what i remember. uhhhh so yeah. we havent met all characters yet so the teams have not been officially decided but we got the bases, which is that.

7. god i found it, and the only thing im looking at right now is the terminology list i made and what the fuck?? what the fuck?? you miss a few weeks and suddenly the word nubslurping comes up and you forget what the fuck youre reading.

8. im PRETTY SURE aradia is seen after that whole team fiasco?? or its sollux... maybe. wait. its sollux, right. i just knew someone gets introduced mid way through is all. actually, someone gets introduced after every 20 pages. i have no idea. but ik aradia and sollux go hand in hand.

9. oh shit. OH SHIT! RIGHT! I REMEMBER! so this occurs in the latest session i did, and not the beginning of act 5, but AG and aradia team up, right?? and sollux fucking gets manipulated by them and ??? idk??? they make him find the game, reprogram it and then make him believe its going to end the world (which in hindsight is true, but anyways) so he refuses to play it which was AG’s plan all along so she steps up and becomes leader in his place. but aradia says sollux will still play the game no matter what, but she never went through with the plan for AG but it was apart of a prophecy? that sollux wouldnt be the leader at all? that he’d still play? but it had to go according to plan so it could succeed??? we just dont know why yet. anyways, point being, she still cares for sollux since she did it for him rather than for AG. and thats what i recall. god tf i forgot about that whole drama until writing down “sollux and aradia go hand in hand” which gave me violent flashbacks to the memory.

10. oh and id give aradia 9/10 and sollux 7/10. i do like sollux but if i put him higher than karkat, id get crucified. so im keeping them around the same.

11. man i really like sollux and aradia tho, i may have put him at 7, but i really like their dynamic and i really hope they make up and aradia explains herself about AG. because from one side it looks shitty. and while sollux is rude and never makes up his mind, he apologized to aradia after going off, and that was the only time ive seen him be sincere, so im pretty sure he cares for her to some extent. and i think its somewhat mutual? considering the whole “did it for him” thing. man, i see potential because i actually like both their characters. theyre well written. may not have the best personalities, but i appreciate well written characters and homestuck has the best ones ive seen in a while.

12. oh shit, hell yeah, the more i write, the more im connecting the dots and remembering. however, the more i write, the more i want to just make an analogy post but thats not for now. jesus christ its not all about analogies, mack, this is a recap. but.. how does andrew do it? to not go off track??? hard. telling ya.

13. anyways, didnt we break the fourth wall at some point and have the demon gods or whatever the fuck speak to us in third person for the first time in the comic, after having only gone into second person narrative, right after we were introduced to sollux and his “virus”? the uh, the phrase “the demon was already here” was said, or something along those lines. first line in homestuck to give me the creeps ngl and i appreciate it bc it gives me motivation to know what the fuck its about. its cool bc you have no idea where its going and it sure doesnt have anything to do with the current plot, since the trolls’ session/game doesnt have fucking demons so im curious as to what the fuck that was about. and if i really have to make a theory, i feel it has something to do with aradia’s voices in her head which also connect to the gods rose heard when she started disregarding rules and told dave to look at derse without listening to music bc it was as if he was purposely blocking away their calls. like holy shit, that gave me the shivers. while i do want to know more about wtf happens after act 4, trolls are taking priority right now. just like we did with the intermission. no discussing the kids unless necessary. treat this as its own separate comic. and THEN we can connect.

14. ANYWAYS, tavros’ intro???? that comes afterwards?? with the fiduspawn that made me gag a little on the inside? yep. remember that. fuck that lol. -1/10 but tavros himself is MAYBE a 6/10? i wish we explored his character more in his intro bc right now he just looks like a character made only to be a victim rather than have any depth and i feel thats robbing someone of their full potential. give me more personality andrew, rather than a quivering boy who falls prey to bitches. im expecting more throughout the comic honestly and i hope he gets growth so hes not looked as a “victim” but rather his own character. he is still sweet, and i like him because i want to protect him, but id rather have more info, you know what i mean?

15. oh hell. kanaya had a chainsaw at some point. that made me happy. and didnt she cut off tavros’ legs?? and he got robot ones? and some creepy dude was looking and we called him saggy tits bc hes sagittarius? right? neat. that did happen. pretty sure saggy tits is ACs friend that tells her what to do. the more u know. OH and they all have colored blood similar to their text colors lol. that i remember... so tavros has brown, terezi has blueish green, um. karkat has grey the loser. and apparently it forms a rainbow which is nice. rainbow is good.

16. i dont remember anything else actually

17. wait no i do. AG appeared. shes a petty bully. idk what to say about her. we didnt get that much, except that she hates tavros but is okay with aradia. she also looks like a bottle opener. actually, i think she teamed with aradia to gain leadership rather than to “be friends”. and while that is similar to how karkat did it, meaning the gain, the motivation and how they earned it is entirely different. kinda seeing a trend tho. the leaders of the red/blue teams are both characters who wanted the role, but never had it to begin with. only to win their way into the position. but rather than ask non-stop like karkat did, AG manipulated others so she could be successful. not too sure if she also used aradia for that, or is actually motivated to become friends since they were “past enemies” and she needed a rebound. pretty sure its somewhat both. while AG did mostly use aradia to speak with sollux, what she doesnt know is that aradia is a bad bitch who never even thought about AG and only followed through with the plan bc she had a plan of her own. i guess we’ll look into that later. i lowkey want to know their history.

18. OH AC!!! she appeared for a second as well. love her. shes amazing. 9.5/10. and you may ask yourself, why am i saying “i love this character” but none of them are 10/10?? weellllll its because, and i cant stress this enough, 10/10 belongs to kanaya, i dont make the rules. im waiting for her introduction, shes my favorite and its obvious. sorry.

19. oh huh seems i forgot about the term “lusus”. which.. is.. their parents but not really, its these fucking weird ass creatures that the trolls fought in a cave or something as a child. i dont fucking know. terezi hatched hers and it died? gamzee’s also died but his goat sea dad was never really there to begin with so while it is sad, its more sad that gamzee never saw him? um.. karkat killed his own by exploding his computer bc sollux said dont run the virus and karkat said u cant tell me what to do and did it anyways. so thats on him. but apparently theyre supposed to die, to become prototyped during the game, right? yeah. i remember now.

20. thats.. about it? idk anything else, nothing is coming back to me apart from the shit above. huh.... im surprised how quickly things do come back to you the moment you rant about the plot tho.... handy trick.

cool. neat. fun. this took me too long. but im glad i remember a little bit.

#i wanted to catch u all up on this #but ill most likely do a liveblog tmr bc i was bust today unfortunately apart from writing this out #bc this took priority for better understanding where i am rn #maaaannnn #writing wears me out #i love it #but its tiring the fucking bitch #so im in need for deep sleep #wish i could do more smh #welll #goodnight :)

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michaelmilkers · 5 years

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I saw in one of your tags that you mentioned how 21 pilots made emo pretentious and im actually curious about why you say that (not hate i just never knew about them that much)

my friend you have asked me about a topic i am very knowledgeable and very angry about so prepare yourself for what you have wrought

it isnt just twenty one pilots but theyre just the biggest and most popular example

like. take my chemical romance in the early-mid 2000s aka the peak of emo. it was very melodramatic and theatrical, the way emo should be. there was a presence of “we are not like other people” in a lot of the songs, but it was never just that. it was more of a “we have been cast out and we kinda suck but thats okay.” one of the best examples of this is, ironically, i’m not okay.

take, for example, the opening to the mtv music video:

[Ray] You like D&D, Audrey Hepburn, Fangoria, Harry Houdini and croquet. You can't swim, you can't dance and you don't know karate. Face it, you're never gonna make it. [Gerard] I don't wanna make it, I just wanna...

this immediately establishes the song as being about social outcasts and people who dont fit the mold. the fucking tag line of the song is “i’m not okay” ffs, that really tells you all you need to know about the song. but the important thing is it doesnt take itself too seriously either. the music video takes place in a private school, and shows scenes of the band members eating lunch alone, being bullied by jocks and preps, etc., but it ALSO shows scenes of frank putting swim goggles on in chemistry class and ray drawing on his test with a crayon and then licking it, and at the end they all ambush and beat the shit out of a guy in a mascot costume. all of this is cut up by text saying things like “if you ever felt alone” “if you ever felt wronged” “if you ever felt anxious”

do you see the juxtaposition here? the music video could very very easily be a fake deep bullying psa, but its not, because while theyre getting bullied and playing their music in a garage they are also, unequivocally, total fucking losers for obvious comedic effect. it is a very exaggerated and lighthearted version of real phenomena, which makes it more relatable to a wider audience.

the same can be said about the song itself. it has some pretty heavy and angsty lyrics (”i’m not o-fucking-kay”) but the instrumentals are punchy and energetic and catchy and gerard’s vocal delivery is very theatrical but also very deliberate and he still puts real emotion in the words. it sounds like its taking the piss out of not being okay, which is exactly what i as a clinically depressed 13 year old needed, and i bet a lot of other people can say the same. i’m a loser and thats okay. i fucking suck in school and thats okay. i feel shitty and thats okay. i’m not okay and that, in itself, is okay.

with twenty one pilots, on the other hand, there is no theatrics, theres no taking the piss, theres no over-the-top melodrama that made emo what it was.

take, for comparison, the opening lines of heathens:

All my friends are heathens, take it slow Wait for them to ask you who you know Please don't make any sudden moves You don't know the half of the abuse

and this presents, immediately, one of my biggest criticisms of twenty one pilots: their rampant appropriation of mental illness.

because my first thought when hearing this is as an abuse survivor and someone with ptsd they can kiss every single square inch of my ass.

Welcome to the room of people Who have rooms of people that they loved one day Docked away Just because we check the guns at the door Doesn't mean our brains will change from hand grenades You're loving on the psychopath sitting next to you You're loving on the murderer sitting next to you You'll think, "How'd I get here, sitting next to you?"

they try to do the same kind of nuanced poetic lyrics that my chemical romance did and in my opinion is just doesnt fucking work because they take themselves SO. FUCKING. SERIOUSLY. it sounds JOYLESS.

and the song closes out with this:

Why'd you come? You knew you should have stayed (It's blasphemy) I tried to warn you just to stay away (Away) And now they're outside ready to bust (To bust) It looks like you might be one of us

this is what i mean by pretentious. there is a clear separation of the person/people from whose point of view the song is told and the people the song is meant to be listened to by from the greater population, but theres no high energy or comedic self deprecation to counteract it.

now take some lyrics from heavydirtysoul, a song i actually really like the sound of, im not just shitting on this band bc its not to my taste yall:

There's an infestation in my mind's imagination I hope that they choke on smoke 'cause I'm smoking them out the basement This is not rap, this is not hip-hop Just another attempt to make the voices stop

Nah, I didn't understand a thing you said If I didn't know better I'd guess you're all already dead Mindless zombies walking around with a limp and a hunch Saying stuff like, "You only live once." You've got one time to figure it out One time to twist and one time to shout One time to think and I say we start now Sing it with me if you know what I'm talking about

right back at it again with that appropriation of mental illness symptoms! and some dumbass critique of our generation that doesnt fit in with the rest of the song at all, closing out the verse with “we are not like you” shit. the vocal delivery at least has more energy than heathens, but the lyrics just feel like a mishmash of different points theyre trying to make that have nothing to do with each other.

the best line of the song is undoubtedly “death inspires me like a dog inspires a rabbit” but its poetic just... for the sake of being poetic? its one of those lyrics that sounds like someone came up with and was like “bro we gotta put that in a song” but then couldnt actually figure out how to fit it into a song in a way that would flow. another example of this is “i cant drown my demons they know how to swim” in bring me the horizon’s can you feel my heart. not shitting on bring me the horizon, i really like sempiternal, but thats another line thats just poetic for the sake of being poetic. and to be put on t-shirts. i know this because when i was 12 i had a shirt that said “i cant drown my demons they know how to swim” on it.

i could do more analysis on other mcr songs, namely welcome to the black parade and famous last words, but i would be here for literal hours and idk if people actually care that much.

to sum my points up:

they take themselves too seriously. they appropriate and romanticize mental illness (forgot to mention that top’s website, at one time, described their music as “schizoid pop” lol). they pull a lot of “We Are Not Like Other People..,.,.,,...” shit.

that last point is not inherently a bad thing, for example the new slipknot album is literally called “we are not your kind” but the song that contains that line as a lyric is all out life, and corey taylor is screaming that entire song and the instrumentals are reminiscent of speed metal with how fucking energetic they are. its edgy and its GREAT. twenty one pilots just sounds like they think theyre the shit.

also, and i want you to read the following sentence in a bass boosted voice to best understand how i feel when i say this:

the twenty one pilots cover of cancer is an embarrassment that completely misses the point of the original song and changed it into a weird amalgamation of lo-fi synth pop.

emo music is dead. thank u and goodnight.

#Anonymous

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cultho · 5 years

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Dororo Epilogue/Post-ending Standalone episode

*WARNING: SLIGHT SPOILERS AHEAD!!*

So I watched the ending and I had a lot of feelings about it, and I came up with a few ideas for a standalone post-episode to explore some concepts I would like to see from the show. Fyi, the pronouns I use for Dororo vary by situation, with a preference for he/him (my headcanon is Dororo is pretty genderfluid!).

About a year after Hyakkimaru went to find himself, aka end of the series (but before the timeskip where Dororo’s hair is long), the episode opens with opens with Hyakkimaru, feeling more at peace with himself, returning to the village Dororo was developing via dad's Harry Potter level of inheritance.

Dororo, who now basically rules this village despite being a literal 9 year old, hears word from his fellow villagers that a wandering stranger with a sword was spotted helping one of the rice farmers because their horse got caught in a ditch (or anything else of that nature). Of course, Dororo immediately comes running, and barrels straight into Hyakkimaru for the sibling reunion hug we deserve.

Then Dororo punches Hyakki on the arm and gives him a hard time for leaving for a whole year without even a ‘goodbye,’ asks 'So what made you decide to come back after a whole year, huh, punk?’

In response, Hyakki pulls out a small, worn, pouch and Dororo says 'woah - Mio’s rice seeds? I thought you would’ve planted them by now already.’

With a little smile, Hyakki goes 'I thought about doing that, but then I remembered you were close with her too, so you have as much of a right to these seeds… so I decided to wait until we could plant them together.’

The rest follows as one expects it to - Dororo teases him for becoming an even bigger softie, and they set off back to the village to grab some farm tools who Hyakki the place, as the camera pans up until the brilliant blue sky fills the frame. That chapter of their lives ends the same way it began, with Hyakkimaru and Dororo - the latter chatting up a storm while the former quietly appreciates - side by side, wandering where they must.

Then the camera pans back down, and where before there was bare paddy, the field is now golden and thriving (same as it was in the show's ending). After a half decade timeskip, Dororo is 15-16 to Hyakki’s 21-22, and the rest of the episode follows them dealing with a demon terrorizing their village, who turns out to be Daigo’s butthurt evil spirit. I don’t have a specific plot, but here are concepts that I’d love to see explored.

First, Grown up badass Dororo running her town, being like her own Alexander Hamilton, except not only does this Alexander Hamilton know finances, how to run a sovereign state, how to outsmart any opponent, rouse even the most downtrodden souls to action with just a few words, she also kicks major butt from training with her big bro. Shoutout to that one post that inspired the idea that her dad's Big Boy genes kicked in during puberty so she’s actually like... as tall as Hyakki. Maybe even an inch taller. She says to anyone who asks that her bro can 'die mad about it’ but they both know that he’s just happy she grew up big and strong.

She totally runs the town and everyone adores/massively respects her; her city takes in the refugees, the poor, the women and children, the diseased, etc, because, in her words, screw samurai and screw their wars. They absorbed Daigo’a old land after offering food, shelter, and jobs to the survivors, thus their town became a pretty respectably sized settlement.

Now, the key to all this - since they don't want to rely on samurai for their power - is the money, right? So Dororo’s power is her knowledge of the treasures secret location (and all the other badass things about her, but I digress). Imagine at some point a small gang of newer villaghers got the bright idea to try and stalk her during one of her mysterious night trips out (she calls them a way to satisfy her wanderlust, but they’re a cover for her sailing to the treasure's location to grab some cash), and they only get as far as spying her enter the docks before their plan goes to heck when they get accosted by Dororo's more loyal villagers who saw them sneaking. ‘Oh sh*t,’ they’re thinking, Dororo sauntering over to them, ‘Oh sh*t, shes got a big sword, oh man oh sh*t this is the end for me - '

But Dororo’s been there before, at the end of her rope and desperate for any edge to survive, she understands how these guys think, and if there’s one thing she’s stubborn to death about it’s that she does NOT run her town like the samurai. Instead, she talks them out of their misdoing and helps them find an honest living, Tales of Ba Sing Se Uncle Iroh style, (except with more volume and verbal threats).

Another concept with Dororo is when Dororo dresses to look like a guy when he and Hyakki take a couple horses and venture into a nearby city (for whatever plot reason), similar to how he did when he was a lot younger.

It’s not fully a secret, but only the older residents of her city know about Dororo’s 'crossdressing' habit, and are accepting of it.

Dororo mentions that while he’s in no way ashamed of presenting female, it often feels more freeing to present male, especially when they're out adventuring - less questions and stares from strangers, etc. Dororo also just likes presenting as male! This way, he identifies with both genders at different times. (It goes without saying Hyakki does his best to use the right pronouns, he never had a strict concept of gender - re: Jukai is the best mom, so it never struck him as odd.)

As for the actual villain of the episode, when she first hears of the Jerk Dad Demon attacking the farms on the outskirts of the village, she only thinks ‘it's just another demon, time to gather the crew and kill this thing-’

It doesn’t go so easily, as the demon’s exceptional strength proves to draw out the confrontation, and it even ends up escaping the first time.

The first to figure it out was Hyakki - he’s most familiar with Daigo’s wrath and the foul creature reeks of the old man. However, everything happened so fast and he sort of… neglected to inform Dororo. When she does find out, they have a short confrontation about it in classic Bickering Siblings Style. It’s understandable that she’s slightly miffed the demonic incarnation of his own awful dad, yes that one, is who they’re fighting and he didn’t bother letting her know.

Hyakki, who, even after a decade of having his voice back, isn't that great at communication/vocalizing his more complex thoughts and working through conflicts with words and thus often comes off as awkward or silently stoic: 'You were busy... and I thought you figured by yourself already?’

Things escalate when the other villagers overhear, and they almost start a riot; angry shouts accusing him of being the reason the demon attacks their settlement from the all the tired men and women, haggard from fending off attacks of not only the demon but also rival bandits and clans who want to take advantage of the city’s time of hardship. Of course, Dororo gets everyone back in lineright before the crowd got to deciding to sacrifice Hyakkimaru, reminding them to focus on the real enemy instead of turning on eachother - but the situation was incredibly bleak. With everyone on edge partially, it was easy to use Hyakki as a scapegoat due to his pacifist tendencies and his stoic nature coming across as almost cowardice.

He taught Dororo how to fight and that's pretty much all the fighting he's done since he came back to plant Mio’s rice, he’s reluctant to pick up the blade again. But the moment a demon shows up he runs off on his own, risking life and limb to confront it head on. Combined with his character’s less than stellar communication skills, it frustrates Dororo in the 'he leaves for a year and doesnt even text me when he's going’ kinda way’ - she's frustrated when he continually refuses to understand that they're family, and at the end of they day theyre kind of all the other has left. So he needs to get it together better and tell her when he’s about to go off and do reckless nonsense. His behavior also presents an interesting dichotomy as Hyakki also struggles with trying to be emotionally detached (lose worldly desires, etc.) and pacifist in the face of attacks from both demon and humans, so he needs to reconcile fighting with the others against attacking clans and risking a redescent into the demon like madness of his teenage years or standing by non violent means of supporting his comrades while facing expectations that he should do more. He wants to atone for his past sins badly and help those who are still living best he can - but how?

(And also make friends other than literally just Dororo.)

Dororo's arc is about her struggles to do the right thing as a leader - it is a lot, to run a whole city. Recent events have caused more deaths amidst her city than ever before, and moral questions about what to do with captured enemy survivors feed doubt into her mind if one day she’ll turn out as bad as the samurai, and how to continue on after having led people in battles that resulted in their deaths.

P.s. I also entertained the idea of Hyakki’s journey to find himself taking much longer, and so the first time Dororo sees him again ever since he got his eyes back is when she's 20, there's rain pouring from the dark sky as her men are carrying lamps around, accounting for the dead and defeated in a latest skirmish with a small rival band that was trying to access her city the non-peaceful way.

At first her men bring her hyakkimaru, thinking he was with the enemy (he happened to be in the wrong place, wrong time. He simply heard of a group heading to a big place that sounded an awful lot like somewhere he would find Dororo - and followed them).

And from the business end of her sword he's on his knees looking up when she goes 'nah. I know him. This bastard's got hell to answer for, but he's not our enemy.’

Events are more or less the same from there, but filled with way more tension and drama here since Hyakki basically dropped off the face of the earth for 10 ish years and Do’s mad about that because, again, he didn't even say 'bye'. So much has changed, but what hasn't changed is Dororo’s anikki's inability to grasp that if one day he went off without telling her and then died, she would have literally no idea where/when/how that was, she would never know if he was alive or dead, and the idea of living in that limbo would terrify anyone. The story being about them learning to come together again, only at the end do they plant Mio’s rice field together.

I ended up trying to flesh the first idea out more because Do & Hyakki’s relationship is all about the things that don't need to be said; that these two will always be there for the other without needing to be asked. The backbone of their relationship was built up as one that didn’t need explicit affirmation because it was already so ingrained to their characters it would be a disservice to them and a waste of time to contrive an entire plot trying to create unnecessary drama between them.

But then again... drama = satisfying character growth, so perhaps it could go either way! Let me know what you think!

Thank you for reading all this way :) I also posted second part to this of other thoughts I had while pondering why I felt the need to write a standalone epilogue.

Bonus: these gems I had in the rough draft that unfortunately had to get cut:

“But it’s harder to kill bc jerk dad demon is a jerk”

“Dororo's like 'u mean to tell me ur punk bitch biological male progenitor's demonized soul is attacking our fields??? “

“they take down the big bad dad dude daigo”

“Dororo: - pshffyeahh, ur pissy pissfaced pissbaby dad”

#dororo #fandom #my thoughts #anime #hyakkimaru #tahomaru #daigo #dororo to hyakkimaru #essay #disability #my writing

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starryseo · 6 years

Text

heart eyes. | seo changbin

this gif is perfect!!

pairing ↠ changbin x gender neutral!reader

genre ↠ just fluff!!

wc ↠ 1533

summary ↠ chan is a terrible wingman.

warnings ↠ a biiit of swearing. like one word.

hi, i saw that your requests are open and i just found your blog but i love your writing so much already! i was wondering if i could have a scenario with changbin? where you are bff w/ chan and are 4 years older than changbin and also a few inches taller than him but have a crush on him. you don't do anything about your crush but chan knows about it and wants you two to get together. you can decide how you want it to end! thank you!

a/n ↠ thank you so much!!! + im sorry i know you said scenario but this is gonna be a bulleted scenario bc paragraphs take long for me and i dont want you waiting forever for this rip

hope you like it anyways tho!!!!

okay so!!

you’re a songwriter at jyp and you’ve worked with a lot of different groups in there, getting to know the trainees and debuted groups

when you’re not working with debuted groups, you’re helping out some of the trainees

some of them have told you how much they look up to you since you’re young but you’ve gotten so far in life, writing lyrics and melodies for one of the top 3

and they’re always asking you for tips and ideas and if you can read over some of the lyrics theyve written

and theyre always asking for your opinion on whether the melody goes with the lyrics theyve written

and you love how inspired and determind they are bc it’s hard being a trainee, going to school AND writing lyrics/ composing on the side

mad respect to all those out there

you’ve worked with a lot of trainees, but when jyp himself asked you to work w a kiddo named chan you were really excited!!!

ok hes not really a kiddo, he was a year younger than yourself but!! who cares!!!

you two hit it off really quickly, being vvv good friends in a short amount of time

some other trainees had suggested you listen to some soundcloud group 3racha and you really liked them!!!

and now!! you’re working with one of them!!!

jyp knew that chan was rly good at song writing and composing, and it was getting closer to the survival show time, so he asked you to help chan out

guiding him on how to write a Hit Song

so you worked closely with him before the show had started airing, running through the tips you had learnt through your years of writing

and you ran through different concepts and ideas he wanted to express through his music and songs

after a month of constant-coffee-meet-ups and late night freestyles you two had gotten vv close

practically inseparable, even tho you both were v busy, you w composing and him with his group

there rly was never a dull moment between you two and you rly liked having a proper friend that you could trust and vent to if need be

the day he introduced you to his group was wild!!!

he invited you out to a restaurant after the hellevator mv dropped

when you got there, he was standing at the entrance and he was like “:00 you came!!! took you long enough!!”

“i wasnt gonna miss out on free food now was i??”

he took you inside, saying he’d already gotten the table

and when you got there youre like

“,,,, why are there a bunch of boys at our table ://”

“theyre my group members!!!!”

:000!!!

they were quiet at first but when chan introduced you they all burst into cheers

it was just chaos like “hi!!!!!!!” / “hellooooooo!!!” / “omg!!!!!” / “thank you for helping w the mv!!!!” / “wow we finally get to see yn!!!!!!”

and youre just like ,,,,, what do i even reply to,,

so you say hi etc, introduce yourself and then take a seat next to chan

even tho you had known chan for a long time, you rly had only worked w him

like, he would always come to your office to work on stuff or you’d meet in public places, but it was only ever the two of you

so you were happy you finally got to meet the others!!

it was rly fun meeting all of them, they were so lively!!!

they were asking all sorts of questions abt you, your job, interests etc and they were rly thankful that you helped chan bc he imparted his knowledge + help onto them

and chan was like “yeah thanks for all your help!! this is all stressful so it was vv helpful that you guided me on how to do this stuff!!”

but as soon as the food came? they were silent

like seriously, there was barely any chatter

only small grumbles from jisung when seungmin stole his food

you had spoken to changbin a lot throughout the night

he was sitting next to you and you were internally Combusting bc

oh man you were sitting in between 2/3 of 3racha and you had to admit

changbin was probs your fave outta the 3 of them

man,, you really loved his tone of voice and how he could change it so easily within a song, and it would still flow so!! well!!!

you loved listening to him rapping sm and chan most definitely knew abt that

whenever he brought over lines/ ideas that he and the guys had written, you’d be like Wow i really love this part, it flows rly well w the melody

chan: “ah really? guess who wrote that!”

“,?? you?”

“changbin ;))))”

“whats with that face :/”

“ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) what ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) face”

“t h a t f a c e”

“youre the one that goes all Heart Eyes when i mention changbin n yet im making a weird face??? k then”

“PPPPFT shut up lets work idk what youre talking abt”

and he dropped the subject but that stupid smirk never left his face :(((

when you finished your food, chan who obvs had already inhaled his food just started nudging you like

“( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) nows ur chance”

“i can finally kill u?? :D”

“:( no wtf why would u wanna do that?”

“wait i have a list-”

“BRO </3 i meant nows ur chance to woo changbin ;^))))”

“to do what now”

“to KiSs KiSs FaLl In LoVe with bInNiE!!”

“omg youre embarassing how are You the leader??”

and he just kept that up the Whole Night

honestly youre surprised none of the other guys realised what he was doing bc he just kept smirking and nudging you whenever changbin so much as sipped his water and you would straight up Elbow Him

but then he was like “hey changbin :)”

and internally you were just like Oh Great here comes the Fuckening

and the dude literally Exposed you there

and you were just like ?? i just mET youre group and youre already telling them my life story???

Chan basically told changbin abt how much you rly liked his lyrics and you were just like

:))) I :)) Hate :))))) You :)))) ByungChan

and like there was no way for you to even defend yourself bc chan was making you out to be some crazy fan like “oh man yn wouldnt sTOP talking abt this one line you wrote in IF and it was like 4am like bro i already dont sleep and they kept me up”

minho the Jerk was like !!! theyre blushing aww!!!

Cue you going even more red like Bang Chan youre a dead man :)

And changbin was just rly ? bashful ? he was surprisingly mature abt this and he just kept his reply rly simple like “ah really? thanks, that means a lot, esp coming from such an amazing writer like yourself!”

and you felt like Dying bc

were you that weird in his eyes that he couldnt even joke abt this now?? like did he just find you Super Creepy he just went all Awkward + Formal on you???

nAH HE WAS INTERNALLY SCREAMING BUt unfortunately you didnt know that bc he was holding it in so. well.

the major TBH is that chan was so trying to set you up

like,,, look at the seating arrangement man, he HAD to put you two together bc

you wouldnt stop talking abt how much you loved changbin’s skills

and omg changbin was even worse

as soon as he found out chan was working with you he was Begging to join too!!

he was like!!!! i need help!! so much help pLS LET ME WORK WITH THEM P L S

and chan just to tease the both of you prolonged this out for so. long. bc Hes the Devil

honestly he was so close to bursting into laughter when changbin gave you such a formal reply bc hE KNEW he was going crazy inside like

he always talked abt how cool you were with all the songs you wrote, he loved how you were so emotive and creative with your words, you really inspired him

and his bEST FRIEND was woRKING WITH YOU and NOT giving him your phONE NUMBER chan is the ult snake

chan basically confirmed everything when he asked you who your fave in 3racha was and you said that chan was

bc like lmfao s u r e it was

and then when chan told changbin your fave was jisung he looked the tiniest bit Sad which basically just confirmed everything in chan’s mind

and he felT BAD THAT he straight up lied to changbin bUT

he did that like the day before he was gonna introduce you two

so he had already planned to expose you and see changbin blush like Crazy

Unfortunately only you were blushing but,,, he Knew

and when he saw you and changbin trailing behind the group after dessert, phones out to exchange details, he Knew ;^)))

i rly didnt know where i was going with this and then i just button smashed this lmfao also sorry i didnt mention the height thing?? i didnt know if you wanted that to be an important plot point but i like the openness of this lmao sorry i’ll make up for it one day hopefully. i hope u like it anyway ++ im so so sry its so late!!!

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ne0nbaby · 6 years

Text

HarrisonxShy!reader

Request: Can I have a headcanon of Harrison dating a shy and insecure reader who gets made fun of? Thanks so much!! <3

word count: 949 shitty words ;)

A/N: tHANK YOU FOR THE REQUEST MY LOVE !!!! sorry this took so long i’ve been so stressed with work my professors really want me dead! hope you like it <3333

- you guys meet through a mutual friend

- being as shy as you are, you’re really nervous to really talk to him

- also bc he’s so fine you really don’t know what to do

- he’s really patient with you and makes sure that you don’t feel uncomfortable bc you know that boy is a big sweetheart

- you end up becoming really good friends and eventually he asks you on a date

- for one of your anniversaries, Harrison gave you a necklace with his birthstone and a little ‘h’ on it

- you loved that necklace sooo much but you were too scared of wearing it everyday in fear that you’d lose it

- but you say how much Harrison loved to see you in it so you start wearing it everyday

- he is so protective of you like he’d FIGHT anyone who would say anything mean about you.

- kinda ironic but YIKES

- you try to tell him everything but you know some things are hard

- you don’t tell him about the girls in your English class who are constanly saying things about you as if you don’t sit in front of them

- any time you’d feel good about the way you looked they would say a stupid comment that would make you second guess

- you always try to get to class early bc you hate having to come in after everyone is already stilling down too many eyes no thx

- today was no different but for some reason you started to feel anxious so you start messing with your necklace to get you mind off of it

- when the girl who sits in front of you comes in one that is actually really nice to she tells you how cute she thought it was and where you got it from

- “ aw thank you. my boyfriend got it for me and i have no idea where he got it from”

- once you said the word boyfriend its like you invited them into the conversation

- “ wait y/n you have a boyfriend?! lets see him !” “ um yea we’ve been dating for a good bit now”

- you showed them your wallpaper which was selfie you guys took when he took you see your favorite artist

- “woah what the fuck he’s actually hot! and he’s dating you ?!”

- that comment hurt considering there’s the thought of Harrison finding something better going through your head here and there

- but it doesnt last long bc you remember all the sweet things he’s done to show you that you’re the love of his life

- “yup and has been for almost 2 years so yea”

- you try not to let their dumb comments get into your head so you just move on and wait till class starts

- after that conversation, you start hearing them talk more shit and now they were bringing in Harrison to the mix

- “i still don’t get how he’s dating her she’s not all that”

- you starting to get tired of the comments but still didn’t tell Harrison bc you didn't want him to get involved

- one day you were having a bad day your car broke down so you had to uber to school even though Harrison offered you a ride but you were stubborn ok

- he didnt care tho bc right when you got out he was already waiting for you outside your building with your favorite flower and food

- BC HE LOVES YOU SO MUCH AND WOULD DO ANYTHING TO SHOW HIS LOVE AND SEE YOUR SMILE

- you almost cry when you see him bc wow you love that boy

- you give him the biggest hug and start giving you kisses all over his face

- “why are you the sweetest boyfriend in the world?” “i know i am a gift. i knew you were’t having a good day so here i am doing my duty as the best boyfriend”

- you think i forgot about those two girls ? nah they come out right as Harrison gives you a kiss

- “so you’re y/n’s boyfriend! hi im aubrey and this is maddy we’re in the same class as y/n” “um nice to meet you im Harrison”

- he knew something wasn't right bc once you heard her voice your whole body tenses

- “ um if you don't mind i have something planned for her and um yea bye” heput his arm around you and made sure they saw him kissing your forehead

- “so are you gonna tell me that thoses girls are bitches to you or ?”

- your jaw drOPPED

- “how did you know” “ i saw the way they were looking at you especially at your necklance. and did you hear the way they introduced themself? yikes” “yea theyre bitches”

- once you got to his car he stops and looks at you before bring you into a hug

- “ you better not beilie any shit they tell you bc you are the most amazing person in the world and i dont know what i did to deserve you.”

- your heart almost exploded wow you love that boy with ALL YOUR HEART

- after that little meeting those girls still tried to talk shit but tbh you didnt pay much attention

- Harrison loved to just do surprise visits after your class even more now bc he loved seeing those girls look at you with such jealousy bc damn that's HIS girl

- your his world and he's yours

im actually not super mad about this. like tbh parts are really cute and tbh i want a headass boyfriend HELP anyway i hope you guys liked it i had fun writing it hehe. if anyone has request send em over also if you just want to be friends hello my messages are always open ! and id your name is aubrey or maddy sorry idk why they were the first names to come to mind hehe

also i didnt proof read this BC IM A LAZY PIECE OF SHIT so um hehe sorry :)

#harrison osterfield headcanon #harrison osterfield imagine #harrison osterfeild x reader #harrison osterfield #harrison osterfield hc

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haeroniel-doliet · 6 years

Text

gah another 5 am post eh fellas

fuck i really wanna do ballet. i really rarely become obsessed (if ever) with anything, but for once i’m so so so so soso wanting to do ballet. so bad. i know i might hate it bc im fucing not musical at all, so not in shape, so not comfortable or etc. but at least im 18,(wait fuck 19 now) and not 45 trying to get in it all stiff and stuck and i think based on all the sweet positivity to adult ballet starters beginners and sure i wont perform professionally but fuck man i dont think i need that. i just want that grace and flexibility and elegance and gah itd be fabulous. i mean even now im pretending to look for turn out and walk around the house like they do in point shoes and i try fix my posture tothe advice by a ballet dancer youtuber who ive been watching so much of. i just i really wanna do it.

saddest fucking thing is guys, that i could’ve had the chance to go to the fucking royal ballets adult absolute beginner classes. in london. i could have. fuck. u wanna know what happened? i found out about it like a month or two ago and was fucking psyched bc its one of those things that just is too good to be true. the best company in uk?? w adult classes? while im in london?? yeah id have to miss a few weeks bc. whoops i gotta go back up to do my exams,but i couldve at least done a few weeks, come back and done a few last so i’d have had the best opportunity to give this a go in the best environment and then have a kindling to go off with to other available ballets. and not start with some barely managing person in a shitty studio thing. idk. sure so i tell my parents so fuckin excited bc look! its possible! but yeah its expensive, wouldve been abt 90 pound w me being a student and id have to miss 3/10 classes. but still! thin of it gah its making me so sad happy. sad bc guess its now sold out. of fuckin course it is. i told my mom and she just was uhmm ohh i dunno i dunno, oh its adults i could do it, and thinking that maybe getting her involved would mean i have a better chance of going, dont care much for her company but if shed take it as a bonding thing hell, i’ll probably do better than her in class and minor confidence boost as well as if they all others are old old i wont be alone. and she could pass over what they learned when im up in scotland. Guess that was a fuckin mistake. she got all nervous and self concious and put it off with a we’ll see we’ll see about it im thinking. and making it a whole thing like instead of me wanting to go so bad and offering for fun that shed join me, as if im trying to pressure her into doing it and would only go along to make her feel better. uh.... fucking wrong! im so mad actually. bc of course, no matter how often i mentioned it she wouldnt take it seriously to even consider booking me in! no no of course not we’ll see. and then i check before im coming back, dreading and being right that yep. theyre fucing sold out. of course they are its such a fanstastic opportunity! my only fucking opportunity! when ever again am i going to live in london with weeks free to go participate in that? when ever again? never. theyre moving out of london this summer and fuck. just doing some research and the scottish ballet is in fucking glasgow. yes i was supposed to get there if i hadnt been so shit with studying for my exams. (sure i wouldnt be doing archery and wouldnt have all the other wonderful things i now enjoy in aberdeen but fuck its frustrating) and ofc. aberdeen seems to have: one shady dance company that offers ballet fusion. not adult ballet classes. another shady school that practices at robert gordons that have no website nothing. no info how to sign up or if they have adult classes or when its so stupid and weird. maybe ill have to contact them directly idk. sure my uni has a what seems to be a thriving dance society that i have a glitched out membership for. (its 50 pound a year and i have cerrainly not paid that) and i guess they do ballet on the side. but again from a glance around, looks its only intermediate. not beginners. dont think theres that many uni age girls who just wanna start ballet now.

so it looks bleary. even in finland, i cant understand body parts in finnish so that might just be frustrating if i could even find a place that offers it. not that i’ll have long at all in finland. ill be there barely a month before heading back to uni and i come back holidays. if i wanted to take one of these eleven week courses, i think id have to geta fuckin liscence and a car and drive to glasgow 3 hrs both ways for a class once a week and that sjust stupid. im so fucking mad about this missed opportunity. like my muscles are itching and aching to do it. my legs want to work out in ballet positions. they just rly do. yeah maybe ill have to start doing barre at home from videos to try ease that, but its not gonna be the same and ill do it all wrong bc i have no teacher to direct me or anything. correct either. sure if i had done it and loved it i might still be mad that i have no opportunities to continue like i want to, but at least id have that expereince and could keep practicing at home based off of it. i am genuinely upset okay. upset betrayed disappointed sad twitchy and ugh. sure tickets go on sale today to swan lake after exams. and by fuck will i go see it. and ill get all the background before it and know it inside and out before i see it (already kinda do) and i will love it. ill bemaybe more upset and more twitchy that i cant do it, that i cant be lie them and that rly sucks. i really really wish by some miracle the school would offer summer courses so that i could just, get myself after exams into one. also another frustrating thing not quite so pressing on my mind is how my dad wants me to get summer jobs, maybe even two. one here and one in finland. sure it should theoretically be easier getting it here, esp. since im 19 now and yeah. i could work in a cafe or store just to get money and have smth to put on a cv thats not 2 weeks. but i dunno i dont particularly want to, i was hoping in london i could get the most of it culturaly (considering ive been a pouting and sad whailer whos not done anything for the last two years) then again i have p much no friends here so if i did go work somewhere theres a slight chance thered be someone i get along with and could hang out w. or visit if i needa back in london. i dunno. things are weird. sure i could try get an admin job w nhs like some lady suggested but its one of those too much responsibilty things, consdiering im shit with work i kinda would prefer to do some physical job like stacking shelves in a shop bc im good at that. but thats not gonna help me in the future. money yes, but cv building or careers wise? nah. i should owrk in hospitality or smth i dunno even i can barely get thru my work to pass rn so i dunno about job searching. im jsut a mess am i not. regardless maybe i should look if theres other ballet schoolsin london. be desperate, get a job and a ballet class going over summer and do art on the free time i guess.

okay so fer now ive found a course for like fucking 156 pound thats a 2 day full days course that looks mad cool for having different classes to learn vocab and etc and then a bit of fucking swanlake like yooo.. best thing its in like july but thats also possibly bad bc its july 28-29 and july 30 we move out. man it could be cool tho. then they offer there as well a taster session p much every other week and then a full 8 weeks of class p near by to me. sure this is specifically taught by a man and id prefer a woman but, i guess. since its ideal timing and place. and i got wondering why thats 150 and the national ballet wouldve been abt 90 and i guess there i get concession and it wouldve been only 6 classes considering the dates they had off. i should rly ask if they do do concession bc 150 is a bit steep still. for 8 classes thats almost 20 pound for 75 mins. its kinda insane. theres probably more companies i havent looked at but there is one other thats like a drop in thing 10 pound cash each class and thats a 90 mins so it might be better. ofc. obv. fault being that its drop in so being an absolute beginner w likely a lot older adults idk how id fit in or keep up or get hte most of it. i think ill go try it once regardless. then when back in abdn ask around for taster sessions and beginner ballet. worst comes to worst i wait another 4 years till i get to a big enough city that they have a nice ballet company and somewhere i can live like an adult but also get in on adult ballet and enjoy myself. maybe my industrial placement city will have a ballet company idk.

all i know is that im a bit obsessed and everyone says to go for your dreams etc. and as much as i enjoy archery (slowly gonna dedicate to it) and aikido (though training can be frustrating and training with old men isnt that fun) and ice skating is another less of a dream but in the same realm as ballet. that im gonan get new skates for and give it a better try. i just think ballet could be so fucking rad and im sad that its not so easy rn. and that my mom fucked me over. for that one course that couldve been cheap and amazing and mindchanging. to go to the ballet knowing what some of it feels like would be great. sure id love a chance to do some after as well u know. ofc it sucks it might cost a couple hundred over summer to these hobbies and i feel iffy spending 180 on a quality waterproof jacket. sure. they spend it but, im v concientious and dont wanna spend much of their money esp cus im not making my own. i guess logically, i should put a bunch of effort to getting thru this term rly well without lies and get a sumemr job. that way, i could theoretically take loan from my parents and pay back with summer job money w some left over to do as i like with (yeah i should save it for sensible shit but idk) also considering how nice i am my dad might not even want me to pay back. look i dunno. thats an idea. be good, be rewarded w ballet classes and an unstrained relationship w my parents, joyously move back to finland and start next term w a clean slate, hopefully more help and new determination into hobbies. maybe i wanna do 4 sports since i never did much as i was younger. tho sure, i did aikidos cousin taekwondo. ive shot a bow and arrow whenever i had a chance. ive skated since literally like 3 yrs old. and i used to take a form of dance a alot younger. sure no musicality but i think the exercises would be great for my knees and legs and butt and torso and posture. htese are fun sports since i dont like to work out. and since im not comfortable enough in myself to go swim.

#ballet an hobbies and thoughts and lots of things.#honestly noneed to read

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saveme-ruinme · 7 years

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Boyfriend Changkyun

A/N: requesteeeeeeed pls request things so i can write them just drop an ask and imma try and write also might end up doing the whole of monsta x at this point lmao also shout out to the staff for letting me bullet point on mobile bc editing the html for this shit on mobile was fuckin awful anyway leggo

An actual literal baby

Hes the maknae of monsta x so idk what u expect

Like at first hes all cool and chic and what not and it impresses the hell out of u bc the rest of his group (for the most part) are just rly fckin stupid

And then u get to know him and its like oh no hes weird af too alright cool

Also kinda shy? About being affectionate?

Like does that thing where he will hold ur hand or put an arm around u or whatever casually

And if u point it out will deny it like ’…. idk what ur talking about’ while still holding ur hand

Changkyun is just hella lowkey about affection especially in public so dont expect too much

He will do it tho if u ask its just that he will be redfaced and embarrassed the whole time bc hes a big baby

Except when u guys are at home and hes in one of those playful moods bc then he will smother u with kisses and hugs and dote on u

And ur sitting there like ’??????? Where is this coming from????? Who are u and what have u done with changkyun’

Also u gotta be okay with the rest of monsta x probably being too involved with ur relationship

Hes their baby boy so they have to watch out for him while also constantly bothering him

Like jooheons gonna buddy up to u bc changkyun is his hashtag best bro so he wants to make sure ur not fuckin around with him so he would be ur friend to accomplish this but will tell u straight up that hes lookin out for his bro

Kihyuns would lowkey about it like he will perform full thorough background checks on u to make sure ur not wanted by the cops or some shit idk

Dont take it to heart bc theyre just lookin out for their baby boy (honestly same tbh) but once they figure out that u actually care and love him then ur alright in their books

And their involvement somehow gets worse bc now theyre always making fun of u guys

Like wonhos life mission to bother changkyun so thats all hes gonna do and ur unfortunately another thing wonho can use against him

For the most part ur very :// about it until wonho is like hey u wanna prank ur bf

And they its ;P rip changkyun bc pranking him is fun especially if its a sudden prank bc that face he makes when hes surprised/flustered is funny

Works out fine bc he annoys the fuck outta u too

Honestly a fuckin weirdo tho

Like sometimes when u go to the dorms and walk in his room hes just in some stupid ass pose waiting for u

Ur standing there like ‘what the fuck’

And hes lying there with his toes in the air or some shit like 'ive been expecting u… lets get food’

Just go along with okay hes like that and its funny as hell

Likes to talk shit with you in english about the other members while theyre in the same room bc most of the time they dont understand what hes saying and u juat laugh bc once they find out hes gonna get his ass beat

Forces you to watch scary movies!!!

Bc hes a shitbag and loves terrorising u but also lowkey loves it when u hide against him

Honestly just tries to be an asshole and get on ur nerves but it backfires when u turn it against him

Like I said before hes rly shy about affection so he was rly shy about gettin down and dirty with u

Took you a long time to make him comfortable about having sex with you

You had to take things slow and work up to things and kinda baby him a little which is fine bc u dont wanna rush him

It was cute too tbh bc he seemed so innocent and shy

But after he got comfortable he got weird

Not kinky weird just when hes tryna seduce u its weird bc he wouldnt outright tell u hes horny and he wants to fuck

Nah hes gonna make weird as faces at u from across the room or text u a whole bunch of emojis that dont make sense and takes u ten minutes to figure out

Or say some stupid shit to try and seduce that leaves u more confused than turned on

I mean it still works once u figure out what hes asking for just that afterwards ur like why dont u just come out and fuckin say or rub ur boner against me or some shit like a normal person

(He tries to rub his boner against u but u were sitting on the couch and he tries to rub against ur arm or smthn it was rly weird but u still sucked him off bc at least he tried right)

Its funny bc he will say some dirty shit or be the type to imply dirty shit all the time but as soon as you get serious about it hes shies away like no i was kidding

And ur sitting there like ur a fuckin baby always teasing him like that

Speaking of, tease the shit outta him when u do suck him off 10/10 would recommend bc he just doesnt know what to do

Not the type to boss u around in the bedroom at least not seriously bc hes so clueless and flustered so it doesnt work out well

I bet he likes to be told what to do tho and is probably a whiny brat about it too

Like u try and tell him to eat u out and hes like do i have to and likes to bicker with u until u have had enough and just sit on his face

Loves it when u ride him honestly even better when u tie him up bc he cant do anything but watch and hes all wide eyed watching u bounce on him

The worst honestly but hey hes down to experiment

You gotta warm him up to the hardcore shit but he would do it for you

See thats his thing sometimes he pretends to be all chic and cool to impress you

And other times hes really fucking annoying

But at the end of the day he just rly loves u okay he does and he doesnt know how to express it properly so this is what he ends up doing

Changkyun is always there for u too

If u text him he will always text back it might take him a while bc time differences but he’ll text u back and will genuinely listen to what u have to say

And if u miss him he will sneak out the dorms to come see u

Buys u food if u say ur hungry or buys u things u said u liked once and just gives it to u no questions asked

Actions speak louder than words kinda guy really

Or more like he talks with his actions more than his words bc sometimes he just doesnt have the right words to articulate how much u mean to him and how much he loves u

And he really does love u bc u love and accept him for who he is without question

You accept his weird side when hes bein hyper when hes happy or sad or serious or stressed you accept it all offering a haven where he can just be

That is why hes always trying to offer the world to u even if u dont want it

Changkyun is ride or die honestly

SO SUPPORT HIM HONESTLY DONT BE AFRAID OF HIS WEIRD SIDE OKAY HES COOL AND STILL SUPPORT HIM WHEN HES CLOSED OFF AND SERIOUS

BC IF U DO THAT HE'LL LOVE U FOREVER BUT DONT BE OVERBEARING JUST LET HIM KNOW U WILL ALWAYS BE THERE AND CHECK UP ON HIM FROM TIME TO TIME OKAY HE WILL SEE AND APPRECIATE IT I PROMISE

SUPPORT MONSTA X

#kreativewritersnet #kpoptrashtag #monsta x #i.m scenario #monsta x scenarios #lim changkyun #monsta x fluff #monsta x smut #monsta x imagines #monsta x fanfics #i.m changkyun #i.m imagines #i.m fanfic #i.m fluff #i.m smut #wtf this didnt tag properly the first time idk why #monsta x i.m

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flippinoptimist · 7 years

Text

> Vel / Sawbones, pt 1

#Alternate Selves #ooc eyes only #parasite mention/#slavery mention/#an incomplete log that is still in progress

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christophersymes · 4 years

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Celebrity Status

Celebrity Status, an ongoing L(G)B(T)+ story also on Wattpad and Quotev.

<– Previous / Next –>

Chapter Two

masonfucker1000: hey! i cannot fucking sleep for the life of me

masonfucker1000: nosam show's today, isn't it?

familyjules: hell yes it is! im too excited to sleep too do u wanna talk for a while while i get ready

masonfucker1000: uh, yeah, arent we talking now?

familyjules: shut up i'm sleep deprived and playing bass my mind is off

masonfucker1000: playing bass? are you reallyyy playing bass? or are u playing around w ur secret bass-stripping software, wannabe christo?

familyjules: fuck you i'm actually playing, masonfucker! u want proof go here: rabb.it/familyjules

masonfucker1000: uh huh

Mason's heart was suddenly beating out of his chest as he sat up in his bunk and plugged in earphones. Was Jules gonna turn on her camera? He was already freaking out that he was in the same city as Jules, he might even see her in the crowd! The boys had already teased him plenty in the past week for being so excited for it. He took a deep breath and clicked on the link.

Elias: Show me the proof!

Jules clicked on the camera and stuck his tongue out, smiling. "Hey, dumbass," he said, internally cringing at his voice. He lifted the bass. "Proof. Right here." He started to play one of Nosam's songs, smiling while he did.

Mason had to take a deep breath as soon as Jules turned the camera on. He blushed for no reason at all as he looked down at his bare chest and SpongeBob boxers, even though she couldn't see him. Jules' voice was awesome. The first thing he noticed were her blue eyes. Mason had seen a lot of blue eyes, but these were... wow. It was as if Mason had been searching for a certain shade of blue and had just found the perfect ones.

Her hair was an absolute mess down to her shoulders, and there was glitter all over her face, and she had tattoos. Blackwork flowers covered her shoulders down to her elbows. Those flowers were framed by a thin black line that went across her collarbone and shoulders, down to the end of the flowers. He could also see a moth and red and blue outlines of a skull on her thighs. She looked good. Really good. And then she showed him the bass and started playing, and Mason was pretty sure he'd nut right there.

Elias: holy fuck. holy fuck

Elias: Jules you're gorgeous

Elias: Sorry i mean your bass playing is amazing, it is, my mind is blown

Elias: but ive heard that before. right now im looking at

Elias: your face and

Elias: you look so good

Jules continued playing a few chords while he leaned forward to see the screen. He blushed, shaking his head and rolling his eyes. "You're an idiot. My hair is a fuckin' mess right now, dude." He leaned back again, the bass just barely hiding the fact that he was in a pair of boxers and a tank top and nothing else. "I'm gonna respect you not turning on your cam or mic, but damn, I wish I could see you." He laughed a little at how weird that sounded. "You're making me think you're someone famous."

Mason grinned. Jules' voice was soothing and light enough to severely tone down the dangerous words coming out of her mouth, the fact that she had casually— jokingly— guessed who he was. Sort of.

Elias: aw!! youre blushing! thats a blush!! youre cute

Elias: you're gonna make me blush. are u really that desperate to see me?

Elias: im sure u wish i was some1 famous

Jules laughed again. "Asshole. Maybe I do, you could get me a record deal or some shit. I don't sing much but my sister sure as hell can and I can harmonize okay." He plucked a string. "Also I'm not desperate. Just curious."

Elias: i would in a heartbeat

Elias: SING

Elias: you gotta sing

Elias: oh im sure its a burning curiosity

Jules blushed again, but obliged. He started singing a Nosam song. He blushed through it, then coughed a little. "I'm really not that good. Better with other people."

Mason smiled wide when Jules started singing. It was similar to Chris' range— which was really good. And her voice was different. Or maybe he was just... crushing extremely hard on her.

Elias: you're a solid Chris! and better than you think!

Elias: your voice is super smooth but it also has a nice rough edge to it and its fucking rad

Elias: you're a 1000% band material all the way, jules, I swear

Jules laughed nervously, grinning. "You're biased. Definitely just saying it." He shrugged a little. "Ugh. An hour 'til I go stand in line all day for good views."

Elias: youre good!

Elias: it'll be worth it

Elias: I hope youre at the front of the stage

Elias: ha! is that what ur gonna wear? what are those, boxers?

Elias: they are!

"Hell no!" Jules laughed. "It's way too fuckin' cold for that. And yes. They are boxers— Spongebob ones to be specific." He set his bass on the bed next to him and leaned up on his knees, so Elias could see. "I should probably get dressed actually. Turning off my camera for a minute." He turned it off and started to get dressed, keeping the mic on.

Elias: FUCK

Elias: IM WEARING SPONGEBOB BOXERS TOO

Elias: wow u have killer thighs

Elias: BOOOOOOOO

Elias: now im left to imagine

Jules stopped for a second to read the messages. "Twins! And boo for you. The thighs and ass are the result of a lifetime of hockey, my friend." Jules shrugged on a flannel and started buttoning it over his tank top. "I've got a killer ass too."

Mason bit his lip at that, significantly affected by imagining Jules' killer ass.

Elias: thank fuck for hockey

Elias: oh, I believe it

Elias: i have a lacrosse bod

Mason froze after he sent it. Sure, it was in hidden corners of the internet, but it was a little-known fact he played lacrosse in high school.

Jules grinned. "Lacrosse, huh? No wonder you like Mason. He was a lacrosse player."

Elias: oh yeah? bet he wasnt as good as me

Jules pressed the camera button again after he had his jeans on, stepping back as he buttoned them. "Better? Warmer." He grinned, turning in front of the camera. He was wearing a too big flannel since he couldn't wear his binder, and ripped black jeans. "With boots. It's kinda too pop punk for Nosam but y'know."

Mason swallowed as he fixated on Jules' ass. He blushed at the screen and looked up at the bottom of the top bunk. This was ridiculous.

Elias: hotter, definitely, yes

Elias: Pop punk is rad

Elias: and you rock it

Jules sat down again and grinned. "Thanks, man." He pulled the hair tie out of his hair and started to fix it, pulling half back again. "How are Nosam concerts? I mean, I've seen videos, but I haven't ever thought about asking about like... the fans? How did people act?"

Elias: lots of hype. really loud. lots of glitter, merch, posters. as u know, nosam fans are dedicated. altho some people won't even know who they are and pretend they know the songs, which is hilarious. lots of shirtless ppl after T-Shirt Song. might be some shoving around so be careful. theres some younger teenage fans too, they might get a bit much but theyre definitely passionate. older fans are adorable

Jules took a second to read it, playing with a pillow in his lap. "Sounds fun. I— nah, I'll just take off the tank when T-Shirt Song is played. Fuck, I'm so excited. That just made me even more excited. Fuck!"

Mason grinned as he watched Jules get gradually more restless in excitement.

Elias: youre adorable

Elias: hey are u in a relationship? i cant imagine not

Jules was still shifting around a little when he rolled his eyes, plucking a string out of the pillow. He looked up at the other message sound, blushing again. "Damn, you like making me blush. No, I'm not. Haven't been in many, either, if you're gonna ask that next."

Mason pursed his lips, silencing an excited yell. He fist-pumped quietly.

Elias: you're really cute when you blush

Elias: and you're

Elias: into guys?

Jules blushed more, rolling his eyes again. He was silent for a second as he struggled to force the words out. "Yeah. I'm bi, if that helps." He focused his gaze on the pillow again, smiling a little. Elias definitely was interested. "You're more flirty than usual right now."

Elias: can't help it looking at you

Elias: i just think you're really cool

Elias: hot, too

Elias: gotta include both ends of the temperature spectrum

Jules snorted. "I think you're really cool yourself. And probably hot as hell. Can't see your face though, so I'm relying on the idea that you're not some sixty year old mouth breather flirting with me through the internet, like my parents warned me about. And if you are, you're rich, so be my sugar daddy, please and thank you."

Elias: it means shit, i know, but i swear im not 60. ur right, im definitely hot. and young. v muscular. probably the guy of ur dreams. and i would happily be your sugar daddy, baby

Jules blushed, unable to hide his grin. He blew a kiss at the camera, laughing. Being called baby had definitely felt... weird. Maybe it was the nerves. "Thanks, daddy," he teased, blushing harder when he said it. God, his face was going to be the color of an apple soon.

Mason's eyes widened at that, and he cursed himself for actually not minding being called daddy. But, hey, if it works, it works.

Elias: oh, you're into that? ;)

Elias: record for blushing goes to Jules!

Jules huffed. "Asshole. Shut up." He wanted to hide his face in the pillow, but that would get glitter everywhere. "Fuck. I should go soon."

Elias: pretty sure you like when im an asshole

Mason frowned as their alarms rang at that moment. Andrew whined loudly as he dropped himself to the floor from the top bunk. He snorted. Nice timing, Jules.

Elias: :(

Elias: you should i guess :(

Elias: its gonna be good!!

Jules sighed. As much as he loved and adored Nosam... He didn't want to go. He wanted to keep talking to Elias. "I'll message from my phone when I get there, though! And I'll take lots of pictures and videos for the site. My sister is coming with me, too, I'm so excited." He grinned, his excitement returning. "I'll talk to you later, Elías! Have a good day!"

Elias: you better

Elias: i might not answer for a bit tho ill be p busy today

Elias: talk to you later! have a good day, jules x

Mason sighed as he left Jules' room, but grinned as he thought about seeing her in the crowd. It was gonna be awesome.

⧫

Hours later, the place was packed and Mason urged the guys along, getting hyped by all the noise. "Guys, c'mon! Let's say hi to some people."

Once they reached the lines, Mason grinned, touching hands and greeting people from the other side of the cord.

"Dude! You look hardcore!" he gasped as he saw a guy with glitter, lipstick, fishnets, and a ripped Nosam tank. A fucking killer concert outfit. God, he loved fans. The guy's eyes widened, and he grinned wide as Mason gave his hand a squeeze. He scanned the crowds, looking for Jules. She had to be there somewhere.

Andrew came up behind him, muttering in his ear. "You're fucking whipped before even meeting her."

Mason smacked his back and flipped Andrew's hood up over his face to annoy him. Andrew flipped him off as he pushed it back down.

Jules stood in line with Rosaline, bouncing a little as he messaged Elías.

familyjules: in line! we're way at the front but some assholes camped overnight and froze their asses off so they deserve being here first

"Oh my God, oh my God, Jules— Jullian! Look up, holy shit, they're right there," Rosaline said, yanking at Jules' arm. He looked up, gasping a little and bouncing even more.

"Holy fuck, that's them, in person, holy fuck— Fuck, look at Austin, he's so hot- And Chris looks so good—" Jules breathed, grinning.

Andrew blinked, impressed as he noticed a girl wearing a dress that... was made of Nosam shirts? Shit. And next to her was— Andrew stopped, almost barreling into a fan, who did not seem to mind very much. According to the few pictures of Jules that Mason had shown him, the person next to that girl was either Jules or a convincing look-alike. Andrew looked to Mason, who was scanning in the opposite direction, and rolled his eyes. He elbowed Mason, "Dude, check out that dress."

Mason whipped his head in the direction Andrew was pointing, and his jaw dropped. It was a cool dress— very cool— but holy shit, it was Jules. Fuck. He started to move behind Andrew until he remembered Jules didn't know it was him. Right. Duh. His heart beat unnaturally loud in his ears as he stepped towards them. What if he was wrong and he wanted it to be Jules so badly that he'd convinced himself that's who he was looking at? Maybe Jules didn't even exist. No person could look that good.

They were coming their way. "Holy fuck and they're looking right at us aren't they? It's the glitter and your Nosam dress, you funky little designer!" Jules breathed it all, grinning wide and shaking Rosaline's shoulders.

Mason pulled Andrew along with him and puffed out a breath as he walked towards them, smiling, looking to the girl beside Jules, eyeing her dress in awe. "Hey, guys! You both look amazing. I think this is the most impressive gig outfit I've ever seen. How long did it take you to make that?"

Rosaline grinned, shrugging off her jacket so they could see it all. "Around twelve hours. It was hard as hell to put all of it together and cut the shirts. Totally worth it, though!"

Jules grinned, taking her hand and twirling her. "And the bottom is rainbow and glitter cause she's definitely not gay but an ally and as campy as a drag queen." Jules laughed a little, meeting Mason's eyes, then Andrew's. Mason's breath caught.

"Shut up, Jules," Rosaline said, shoving Jules jokingly. He lifted his hands by his shoulders.

Mason smiled happily as the smallest sliver of doubt dissipated when she said Jules. "I'm impressed. Really impressed. Right, Drew?"

Andrew had been distracted by another fan he was taking a picture with, but he turned, glancing at Jules and Rosaline a little awkwardly and nodding, smiling a bit.

Mason laughed at her words and at her sister shoving her. He took a couple of meet-and-greet passes from his pocket and offered them, grinning. "That dress is the best thing I've seen all tour, so I hope I'll see you at the meet and greet."

Jules's jaw dropped. "Holy fuck, no way!" He laughed, looking up at Mason in shock. "You're kidding me, right? Meet and greets?" He grinned, taking one when Rosaline took the other, too shocked to speak.

"Yes way!" Mason grinned wide at them.

"Holy fuck, you funky little designer!" Jules said, latching onto Rosaline and lifting her the way he always did to annoy her. "I knew that dress was good luck. You didn't fuckin' nick your finger once while making it."

He turned back to Mason after putting her down when she threatened to punch him, grinning still. "Thank you. Holy fuck, thank you. Y— We'll definitely be there. It's not like we have anything better to do than meet you guys."

Mason's cheeks hurt from smiling as Jules laughed and lifted the girl. "Don't sweat it. Completely understandable if you find something better to do. Although, I don't know what people in Michigan do. Skate on Lake Mich? Hockey?" he teased. "Just give them to someone else so they don't go to waste. Although I'll be bummed if I don't see you there," he said, meeting Jules' eyes for a second.

Jules froze a little at the hockey comment, blinking and forcing himself to breathe. He suddenly felt a lot colder than he was. Tugging his jacket tighter around him, he forced a smile and nodded. "Don't worry. We'll be there." He felt himself shaking a little and found it kind of hard to breathe. His hand found Rosaline's after a second.

"We'll definitely be there," Rosaline said, grinning at Mason. She squeezed Jules's hand, knowing exactly what was going on. It had happened before. She took the pass from Jules and stuffed it in her bag with her own, one hand still in Jules'.

Mason's smile disappeared for a moment at Jules' reaction. Oh, fuck. Did he say something wrong? He grinned again, turning to Jules' sister. "So, I hope you don't mind, but I just need a picture with you...?" he trailed off, hoping for a name.

"Rosaline," she said, grinning.

"Beautiful name," Mason smiled. Jules' twin sister seemed extremely cool.

"I—" Rosaline looked back at Jules, who nodded and let go of her hand. "Okay. Jules, do you wanna take it?"

Jules looked for a second, then nodded, taking out his phone. He still had the convo with Elías open. That gave him an idea. "Uh— this is kind of a weird question, but could you message my friend too after the picture? He'll lose his shit if he knows I met you." He grinned again at the thought of Elías's reaction.

Mason watched Jules fiddle around with the camera. He was maybe freaking out a little. He definitely said something wrong. Was it the flirting? Or did he offend her with the hockey jab?

His eyebrows rose in surprise as Jules mentioned her friend, and he nodded enthusiastically. "Of course."

Jules lifted his phone after opening the camera, taking a picture of Mason and Rosaline together. "Oh— oh, do you need it on your phone? Is it for security or something?"

"Uh, yeah," Mason took out his phone. "Actually, you should get in this too," he motioned for both of them to take a selfie with him and made a silly face, and then took another one with a smile.

Jules blushed a little at the way Mason looked at him. He stood behind Rosaline, crossing his eyes and opening his mouth, then simply grinning.

He handed his phone over to Mason afterward, then explained a little bit where the text was and everything. "Oh, his name is Elías. Accent on the 'I'. Please, for the love of all things holy, mention the username and embarrass the shit out of him. He deserves it for that."

"Gotcha," Mason took the phone carefully, wanting to laugh at how ridiculous this situation was. God, how was this gonna end? He pushed the thought aside and managed to laugh at the username.

familyjules: hey Elías! its nosam's Mason! i met your friend Jules today, im flattered you wanna fuck me, maybe we can meet up sometime? ;) x

He smiled in amusement as he showed Jules the message. "How's that?"

Jules took back the phone and grinned. "Perfect." He looked up and met Mason's eyes again. His smile was better, just still a bit forced. "Thank you. You're awesome."

"Anytime, Jules," he gave her a silly, lopsided grin eyes bright. "It was awesome to meet you guys."

He saw Austin walking by and waved him over, hopping a little. "Hey, Austin, check out this rad dress and these rad people."

Austin smiled over at them, although he was surrounded by people. "Very rad dress! Thanks for coming, guys," he gave them a thumbs up.

Jules froze again when Austin came over, for a completely different reason. He grinned, unable to speak.

Rosaline snapped in front of his face. "I— God, sorry. Jules is a mess right now." She elbowed him, but he was just staring at Austin. "Thank you for coming all the way up here. It's the only reason we could come. We tried to go to Detroit once, but our parents wouldn't let us go that far alone in just one day and night." She grinned at Austin.

"Y— You're Austin," Jules breathed.

"No problem," Austin smiled, "That's me. Jules, yeah? Would it be okay if I hugged you?" he glanced at Mason for a split second. Mason glared at him for the same amount of time. Asshole.

Austin's smile grew.

Jules nodded enthusiastically, holding up his arms and hugging Austin tight. Holy fuck, he was hugging Austin Salinas. And Mason Hill was right there. And he'd meet Chris later, and Andrew had smiled at him. This was the best day of his life. He closed his eyes and buried his face against Austin's shoulder, then realized that was weird and he was hugging too long and pulled away.

Austin grinned, laughing and hugging Jules just as tight for a second longer. "You're a good hugger."

Jules laughed. "So are you," he said after they pulled away.

That was an unnecessarily long hug.

Mason pouted, glancing at Rosaline. "Now I want a hug. Rosaline?" he grinned, holding out his arms.

Rosaline hugged him, grinning. She hugged him just a bit too long too, wishing she could have hugged Andrew but beyond happy to hug Mason.

Jules paused for a second, then hugged Mason, face against his chest. "Thank you."

Mason was surprised at the hug, frozen in place for a second before taking a deep breath and relaxing into it. He wrapped his arms around Jules and smiled contentedly. This is what a hug is, fuck every other one I've ever had.

Jules was a little too relaxed into the hug. It felt right for some reason. While Austin's hug was awesome, Mason's was warm and soft and felt incredible. Jules didn't want to let go.

Mason hugged Jules as long as he could without it being weird, and then let her go. "Alright, we should go set up. See you guys later!" he smiled. Austin said goodbye, giving Mason a mocking look, sighing wistfully at him.

"Shut up, Austin," Mason shoved at him, hands on his shoulders as they walked away.

"I didn't speak, Mason," Austin grinned, "She's really cute. I get why you've been annoying the shit out of us this whole time."

"Don't you have a girlfriend already, Sally?"

Jules smiled at them as they left, waving, then turned to Rosaline, tears in his eyes. "We just— Holy fuck, we just met Nosam and got meet and greet passes, Rosa."

Mason loved performing. He'd happily do it for the rest of his life, and that was the plan. He was addicted to the roar of the crowd, to the sound of thousands of people singing along with him, to their songs. It was always surreal, always like being in another world. It was a high. But this concert, he had been especially happy that he could see Jules at the front of the crowd the whole time, just as excited as everyone else was. Jules' proximity was especially wonderful after T-Shirt Song, because fuck, was Jules even hotter without a shirt. Who needed shirts? Nobody. That's what T-Shirt Song was all about (not really, but roll with it).

After the concert, Jules had a newfound love for Mason Hill. He'd loved him before, but not like this. On stage, he was hilarious and bounced around and was so theatrical... it was exactly how Jules wanted to be on stage. He demanded a presence, and made sure he got what he wanted. There was no doubt in anything he did, even if he did make a fool of himself at times and absolutely roasted himself. It was astounding. Mason had delivered everything Jules had hoped for and then some.

At Mason's insistence that everyone in the crowd had to, Jules had stripped off his shirt during T-Shirt Song, then threw it on stage after. Mason had made eye contact with him... a lot, actually, after that, especially during flirty songs. It was like he wanted to fuck or something, and Jules had informed Elías of this. But Elías wasn't replying, which made sense, since he'd said he'd be busy, but it made Jules a little sad.

They were in the back of the line for the meet-and-greet, sadly, but would definitely get to see them because of the passes. Jules wiped some glitter off his forehead while they waited, closer to the front now that the event was almost over, humming to himself. He was sweating after all the moving around, so he was just wearing a bra and his open flannel, bouncing on the balls of his feet next to an exhausted Rosaline. His throat hurt, and it was the best experience of his life. Rosa's throat hurt, and it was the worst experience of her life.

"Wimp," he teased, grinning at her. He coughed a little. "Oh. We're up."

When they were reaching the end of the meet & greet line, Mason grinned as he saw Jules and Rosaline. All of Nosam was shirtless, even Chris, who was rocking scars from his top surgery, still looking fairly pink after over a year. It was incredible how it had gone from cold as hell to hot as shit with all the moving around.

"Hey, Jules! Rosaline!" Mason shouted, waving them forward when the twins had gotten to the front of the meet & greet line.

"Good to see you guys again," Austin smiled at them as he ran his hand through sweaty, wavy hair and pushed his glasses up.

Andrew shot them an awkward smile through the Twizzler in his mouth. His hair was sticking to his forehead as he saluted the pair.

"How're you guys doing? You weren't kidding, that dress is wonderful," Chris stared at the dress, leaning against the table to get a closer look at the detail.

Jules grinned, dragging a tired and stunned Rosaline with him. He still had some post-concert adrenaline rushing through his veins.

"That was the best concert of my life," Jules said. "You guys are fucking awesome up there. Better than the videos I've seen online."

"Glad we made such a lasting impression," Mason teased, smirking at Jules.

"The best concert of my life was probably All Time Low," Austin muttered absentmindedly, yawning. Andrew snorted as he stuck a Twizzler in his open mouth. Austin choked on it, yanking it out of his mouth and tossing it back at him. Andrew laughed, catching it and putting it in his mouth.

Rosaline coughed before she spoke. "Thank you about the dress. And for the passes. This is amazing."

"Thank you!" Chris grinned big, "It was a long time coming. Was definitely a weight off my chest." He winked and finger-gunned them. "You're the amazing ones."

Jules laughed softly, then took a deep breath and looked at Chris. "I— Uh— Can I get a picture? Please?"

"Hell yeah," Chris got up and put an arm around Jules' shoulder for the picture, smiling.

Rosa did the same with Andrew, a little nervous. "Can—" She stopped for a second, taking a deep breath, then smiled sheepishly. "Can I get a picture with you, Andrew?"

"Yeah," Andrew replied, almost inaudible. He immediately got up, taking a picture with her and hugging her.

Rosaline hugged Andrew back happily, on the verge of tears. This was the best day of her life. He spoke to her. He actually spoke to her.

After they got their pictures, Jules grinned at Mason. "And can I get another picture with you? I don't have one on my phone of us, and no one will ever believe me if I don't get one." He handed his phone off to Rosaline, who took it gladly. "Also— Uh— Could you kiss my cheek? I've seen a lot of those online—"

Mason grinned happily as he took the pic with Jules, hand on her back. He smiled, laughing warmly when she asked for a cheek kiss. He kissed her cheek, pausing a moment with his lips on her face for the picture. He hugged her again afterwards, almost picking her up off the ground.

Jules grinned, hugging him back. He squeezed tight, then thanked Mason and took a picture with Austin.

After a few more minutes of awkward conversation about the concert and Rosaline's dress, it was announced that the meet & greet was over and they had to go. Jules pouted a little, but said bye, waving. He turned around only after a few backward steps, trying to come to terms with the fact that he'd just met Nosam twice in one day.

Mason watched Jules walk away, biting his lip and slowly leaning back in his chair, sighing in abject sadness. He was sad, and he was staring at Jules' ass, and he was thinking that it was completely unfair that even though, yes, he finally got to meet Jules, it was for such a short amount of time, and she didn't even know who he was. And, yeah, maybe he had also been staring at her ass the whole time she was walking away.

Austin thumped him on the head. "I can practically hear your thoughts right now and they're gross, Mason."

Mason only smirked.

When Mason had finally showered and eaten, he fell onto his bed. He hadn't been able to stop thinking about Jules. Which wasn't exactly new, honestly, but now it was like, multiplied times a thousand. He eagerly took out his phone.

masonfucker1000: holy shit !!! holy shit

masonfucker1000: i got a message from mason hill. you met him!

There was a knot forming in his stomach as he sent the message. The concert had affected this whole situation way too much. Mason had been stuck. It was a catch-22. He had to see Jules, but now that he'd met her everything was suddenly real, and horrifying and he was even more aware of how he was sort of catfishing, but like, next-level celebrity catfishing (that should totally be a show). And if he hadn't met her, he'd still be suffering dramatically and daydreaming about it, but at least it would have been simpler and he would have been ignorant.

Jules had passed out as soon as he got home, but woke up to messages from Elías. He grinned, rolling over in bed and rubbing at his eyes.

familyjules: FUCK YES I DID hold on i'll post the pics in the concert thread

familyjules: GUYS MY SISTER AND I WON THE M&G PASSES AND I HUGGED AUSTIN TWICE AND MASON TWICE AND GOT A SHIT TON OF PICTURES LOOK

Seven Photo Attachments

masonfucker1000: YOU GOT A CHEEK KISS? that is one hot man. and by that i mean mason. mason is one hot man. tell me the truth. who was the better hugger?

familyjules: okay look you know i love austin but mason's hug was so warm and soft i loved it. i made him hug me to compare for you and i preferred his (but don't tell austin i'm betraying him)

Mason kicked his legs, hollering. "In your face, Austin! I'm the better hugger!"

Austin rolled his eyes. "Jules is biased and doesn't even know it."

masonfucker1000: fuck yeah!!!! mason is the superior hugger! dude did u say earlier that he looked like he wanted to fuck

Mason could not fucking believe he had no self-control. She noticed that he was staring like a fucking idiot.

familyjules: yes i did he kept staring at me and he was singing all the flirty songs and looking directly at me and even kissed my hand once during one of them. i was shook. he's a flirt i knew that but it felt different. like he was trying to woo me

masonfucker1000: uhhhhh lucky bastard!!!!! you got a hand kiss and a cheek kiss! 2 hugs! lemme know when u guys fuck!!

Mason yawned, grinning as he posted the pictures with Jules and Rosaline on his Instagram. He cropped the one with him and Jules sticking out their tongues and made it his background, blushing as he stared at it.

Jules laughed again, yawning. He really wanted some more sleep.

familyjules: shut up that's not gonna happen and even if it did it would require us meeting again. i did find a new love for mason hill tonight, tho i'm not gonna nut for him all over the internet like you!

familyjules: i'm gonna get some more sleep, btw. my legs feel like they're jello

masonfucker1000: lies!!! youre definitely gonna nut for him!

masonfucker1000: aw, get some more sleep, darling jules! x

Jules smiled at the message, even though there was something a little weird about it.

familyjules: have a good day, darling elías 💙

Mason wanted to be happy about the message and the heart, but she'd called him Elias. He sighed, putting his phone aside and shutting his eyes in an attempt to sleep and not think about it, even though he suspected it wouldn't work.

#writeblr #writers on tumblr #lgbt fiction #trans fiction #lgbt stories #celebritystatus

0 notes

thefirelordazula · 7 years

Note

all odd numbers !!!

1: Let’s start with a tricky one; what is the real reason you are confused right now? How do Gorillaz make so much bomb ass music

3: If your significant other smoked pot, would you care? No, as long as it didnt completely take over their life. Like if they need it every day to be happy then i’d be worried, otherwise its totally cool

5: What were you doing at 11PM last night? I was on the internet, most likely tumblr and hunting down the songs used on sense8

7: What would you do if you found out you had been cheated on? Most likely feel incredibly hurt and break up w that person. I could stay and try to work it out but i would have to care about that person way too much and i’d have to see that they were willing to make it work too and never do it again

9: I bet you kissed someone last night, right? my dogs tbh

11 answered already!

13: What time do you go to bed? really late, earliest i can go is probably around 1am unless i am extremely tired

15: Can you text as quickly with one hand as you do both? nope

17: Do you hate the person you fell the hardest for? I dont know who i fell hardest for, but one of the people who i really loved hurt me a lot and i hated them for a while. Now i just dont care about them at all

19: Is there someone that makes you happy every time you see them? It’s not seeing, but every time i talk to sam @speedydanvers and aya @moonbow99 i get incredibly happy

21: Is anyone else in the room with you? my mom and dogs

23: Were you happier four months ago than you are now? I can definitely say i’ve been getting happier with time, so no

25: In the past week, have you cried? yes, so many times cause im an emotional bitch (most of those times were while watching sense8 tbh)

27: Do people ever call you by your last name? no, unless its in like a professional setting or whatever

29: Do you have a best friend? i have many best friends, some of which include @speedydanvers @i-sometimes-say-stupid-things and my 2 friends maria and ivanna who dont have tumblr

31: Who was your last call/text message from? call was my mom, text was sam

33: Have you ever kissed someone older than you? I think everyone i’ve kissed was either my same age or older

35: How many more days until your birthday? my birthday was like a week ago so like almost an entire year til my next

37: Do you have any good friends of the opposite sex? yeah ben and one of my friend’s brother david

39: Do you have a secret that you’ve never told anyone? probably

41: Do you think age matters in relationships? it definitely matters when one person is underage and there’s a vast difference between the adult person (i.e. someone is 14 and the other is 18+) but if it’s a smaller difference like 17 and 18 then i think its cool (especially if theyve been dating since they were both underage). When it comes to more adult people, I dont think it matters as long as they respect and love each other. Although I hate the tv trend of ugly old men having like really young and pretty women, like im tired of that trope and those girls deserve better

43: How many people have you had real, strong feelings for since high school ended? im still in hs so i dont think this applies to me

45: Do you believe exes can be friends? if both people end the relationship in mutual respect and there’s not too many conflicting feelings then yeah

47: Honestly, what’s on your mind right now? I’m thinking about the old guy with younger woman trope and how much it sucks because although some of those relationships are great, most of the times it patronizes a lot of the young women, and it makes it seem like once women hit a certain age they are useless bcs theyre undesirable to men

49: Was your last kiss a mistake? I dont know if it was a mistake but i wouldnt do it again

51: Has the last person you kissed ever seen you cry? yeah unfortunately

53: What was the last thing you ate? i ate some sausages earlier

55: Where are you going on your next vacation? Hopefully mexico

57: Are most of your friend guys or girls? girls. most of the men i’ve had in my life are useless so i’ve distanced myself from them and now i only interact with like 3 and the rest are girls

59: When was the last time you took a long drive? i dont know what counts as long, but recently i went to my friends house and shes like 25 mins away

61: Have you ever TPd someone’s house? nope but i probably would if they deserved it

63: What was the last movie you saw? Batman Vs Superman

65: How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have in 2011? Yo i think this is when i had my 3rd-4th grade bf. it was so cute and innocent, like i think he kissed me on the cheek once but mostly we played video games or hung out at each other’s houses

67: Do you curse around your parents? Yeah but i only started doing so recently

69: Picture of yourself? just go to my face tag cause im too lazy

71: Have you ever been dumped? yep

73: Have you ever casually made out with someone who you weren’t seriously involved with? not made out but definitely kissed

75 already answered!

77: Had sex with someone you knew less than an hour? nope

79 already answered!

81: Has someone who had a crush on you ever confessed to you? yeah a few times

83: Do you miss your last sweetie? not at all

85: Have you ever ‘dated’ someone you’ve never met? @moonbow99 i guess this counts as us? so yeah definitely

87: What is your astrological sign? Leo hell yea

89: Do you cook? pffft no

91: If you’re single right now, do you wish you were in a relationship? im in a relationship rn and i love being in one

93: What physical traits do you look for in a potential interest? being a girl

95: Are you a player? nah, if i ever were to be with someone else it would have to be something agreed on

97 already answered!

99: Have you ever been deeply in love with someone? yeahh

101: Hugs or Kisses? depends on the person, but if it comes to SO then kisses

103: The first thing you notice about the opposite sex? ew men

105: If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was in relationship, would you go for it? only if we cared for each other and i knew they werent happy w their current partner, or if they were really really really sexy

107: Your last kiss? this guy that i dated for less than a month before i left him for my current gf

109: Have you kissed anyone in the past month? nah besides like my mom on the cheek and dogs

111: Do you know who you’ll kiss next? hopefully my lovely girlfriend

113: Do you currently have feelings for anyone? indeed

115: Ever made out with just a friend? not made out but kissed

117: Your own question that you want me to answer. Just write it. I’ll skip this one since you didnt send any

#holy shit thank you for letting me talk so much about myself youre the best <3 #ask #bisexualcordelia

2 notes · View notes

tracelii · 7 years

Text

Miss You

Some more post-eyesagao shenanigans/angst/different adult!AU. This is for both of my frendos who are working so hard I love both of them u can do, you guys, you can do!!! @poketin @ellieofmidnight

“Oh yes, I’m definitely leaving you.” He spoke over the phone. “I’m meeting her now. It’s over, man, sorry.” Ian paused, then “Damn, that’s a lot of girlfriends. I guess I can’t compare.” But he chuckled. “Yea, it’s an old high school friend, I guess we’ll catch up and then I’ll head back your way, okay?” The male lifted his head, looking around for any familiar faces. Annoyance crossed his face, but it didn’t last long with the phone still over his ear. “I love you too, you idiot.” He felt the need to whisper- not that he was embarrassed, but he did so with a goofy grin he’d definitely have to get rid of before his friend arrived. “Yea. See you later.”

It was a typically cloudy day, specks of rain beginning to reveal itself, but still Ian held off on moving inside. It had been like this all day, and to be honest, it was kind of nice. Cloudy, and sort of cool, with tiny beams of sunlight sometimes escaping the cover. It wasn’t raining totally, so as long as she showed up soon, the cover of the table umbrella should keep them dry.

Speaking of, where was she? Ian looked around again. People were coming and going outside of the café, not busy enough to be called ‘busy’, but certainly alive this late afternoon. People sat at the surrounding tables, also not worried that it would start raining. They laughed and ate amongst themselves, and Ian tried hard not to stare- he knew he had a resting bitch-face and didn’t want to scare off the locals, sitting at this table by himself.

“Ian?”

He lifted his head at the call of his voice, and had a snarky reply ready to let loose, but took a moment to take in the sight before him. There, smiling warily, was his old high school friend, Elsa.

After what they had been though, ‘friends’ seemed like a tame word. She was more like… his annoying-ass sister who he had to look after as they both faced the unknowns of the void, the place he would be stuck in his sleep, and also the demon terrorizing their friends and driving them insane. She also occasionally looked after him too, he had to admit.

But that was such a long time ago. High school seemed like a far off nightmare that he definitely didn’t want to recall, even as he was doing It right now. He grimaced.

“Do I look that bad?” She pointed at him. “Hey, nice beard. And hair.”

“No.” He said. “I mean, you don’t look your best, unless this is your best, then you look fine.” Ian said casually. He pointed at the open chair waiting for her.

“Honestly, I cant tell if that’s an insult.” She took a seat, and rubbed at her eyes. “I’m just a little tired, is all. I haven’t been sleeping.”

“That’s what I mean… You look like you rolled out of bed two minutes ago.” Ian sighed out of his nose- He wasn’t meaning to be mean, especially on after not seeing Elsa for some odd years, but something about her was just sticking out, and he couldn’t pick it. Her hair was pulled in a messy bun, and she was wearing sweat clothes, and underneath her eyes were dark. He started to empathize with the possible worry in her expression “Are you… alright?” He asked.

“Who me?” She waved at him as if he was being silly. “You don’t get to be an asshole now, Mcqueen.”

An irked smile twitched at the corner of his mouth. That sounded a lot more like her, at the very least. “I’ll be sure to open every conversation with an insult from now on.”

“That’s the Ian boy I know!” Elsa leaned forward, a kind smile finally gracing her face. “So… whatcha been up to?”

“Uh. Life stuff.” Ian said. He knew the question would inevitably come up after not seeing Elsa for so long, and yet he had no answer available. “Work. Boyfriend. Stuff.”

“Very gay, I love it.”

“Work is not gay. It’s the least gay thing in my life. It’s homophobic.”

“Someone at your job is homophobic?”

“No, working is homophobic because I hate it.”

Elsa snorted, and shook her head. “You’re an idiot.”

“Not more than you are.” Ian shot back. “So—what have you been up to?”

“Uh…” Elsa said slowly. “Life stuff?”

“Mmhm, A+ original answer.” Ian sipped on this previously abandoned water, but he kept his eyes on Elsa. There was something… there was still something off. She still looked…. Not all there. He didn’t know how to describe it- like… if Elsa was, at her best or even at her worst, 100% Elsa, right now she was like… 85% Elsa.

Even back then, when all that shit was going on at school, Elsa remained ‘100% Elsa’. It was the most admirable thing about her- how she managed to keep true to herself even in the most shitty of situations.

“Well I mean… I’m not dating anyone.” She shrugged, finally glancing away from him, and letting her gaze wander onto the street. “Me and Mimi have been off and on, but she’s visiting some family in Europe for a few months, so we haven’t talked too much.” She shrugged again. “Work stuff. Uh…” She rubbed the back of her neck now, just for the movement. “Been trying to get in contact with Traci and Ellie for a tiny bit. Just texts so far. They’ve been super busy.”

“So I’m you’re last resort.” Ian said with a chuckle. “You know I’m gay, right?”

“Listen, you fuc-“

“Can I take your order?”

They both looked at the waitress who unknowingly arrived just in time. Ian, gifting Elsa with the sassiest smirk he could muster, just ordered a muffin and some tea. It was a good morning snack since he’d eaten before coming here.

“Uh… Nah, I’m good.” Elsa shifted again. Ian noted it this time, she just kept… moving. Making the motions to make the motions.

“Water?”

“No thank you.”

Ian eyed her now as the waitress, just as confused over the situation, politely let them back to their conversation as she went to put Ian’s order in.

“Is this… a money thing?” Ian asked. “Do you need money?”

“I’m not broke, but thanks, you’re welcome to spend all your money on me if you’d like. I hope the brutalboyfriend isn’t too mad at you being a sugardaddy.” Elsa said warily.

“Elsa, there’s something going on.” Ian finally cut in.

For a second, they stared at each other, and Elsa’s lips parted as she grasped for words to compile into some sort of answer.

“No.” Ian cut her off before she began. “There’s something… off. I’ve seen you tired before. All those nights you couldn’t sleep in school, you were still you. Even when--- even when it should have impossible, you kept your chin up. I know it’s been a while, but there’s something—“

“I thought--- I thought I was in the void.” Elsa said breathlessly. “A few months ago I thought I went back to the void.”

Ian’s mouth hung open. “-wrong. What? What?” The void didn’t disrupt him as much anymore- he still had to interact with the mysterious place he went to as he slept, but it only happened every once in a while- once a month. If he kept them happy, they would leave him alone, that was pretty much it. “You’ve been to the void?” As far as he knew, the void (as it was somehow a ‘where’ and a ‘who’ at the same time) rather plainly disliked Elsa. It was he, Ian, who started bringing her along with him every night (back when the void forcefully whisked him away every time he slept) when Anti was trying to scare Elsa out of trying to save Ellie and Traci by giving her nightmares.

“Here’s your order.”

Dumbfounded, he stared at Elsa glance out into the lack of traffic as his muffin and tea was set before him. The waitress probably had asked him something- probably if he needed anything else, but his eyes were wide and he was frozen. He didn’t say anything, and the waitress quickly excused herself.

“No… No.” Elsa said quietly, once the girl had left. “I thought it was. It was…. I was dreaming. It felt real at first, but I can tell the difference. Dreaming eventually feels like dreaming. Being in the void was like being wide-awake the whole time.” She looked down.

Ian remembered to breathe, and looked down at his almond poppy muffin as unspoken relief washed over him. “Okay.” He said, and sighed again. “Sorry, I jumped to conclusions. What about… the dreams?”

“It made me realized that I missed them.”

Ian, for the millionth time paused, leaving Elsa the chance she needed to elaborate.

“Uhm… the girls.”

“The… void girls.”

“Yes.”

“The ones who seduced you and tried to keep you in the void and tried to kill me. The ones who were like… evil versions of you and Traci and Ellie.”

“Uhm… They were, misunderstood. Anti made them, yea, and they did try to kill us at first, but they changed.”

“They weren’t real.”

Elsa winced. “They were. Even before they had our faces, they were part of the void… but Anti gave them an identity.”

“Your identity, Elsa.”

“No—I mean--- they became their own people!” Elsa said. Her body was tense. “You---- you just don’t get it.”

“Yea, I don’t.” Ian shot at her. “They’re long gone. What do you want with them?”

“Uhm…” Elsa said again. “I… have you see them, when you go to the void? Do they say anything about me? I… I wonder how they’re doing all the time. I worry about them.”

“Elsa, I haven’t—I haven’t seen them.”

A shiver ran though the girl’s body, and she grew embarrassed. “Wow… wh… what a relief. Hey, hows everything in the void anyway?” Her eyes focused on his muffin, then his tea, then her hands. She avoid his critical expression. “Judy still there? The plant, I mean. Does it grow? Does the tv still have those stupid knobs? The couch still comfy?”

“You… You miss everything, don’t you?”

“Huh?”

“You miss me.” Ian said slowly. “You miss the void. You miss the void girls. The real girls.”

“N--… No-“ Elsa shook her eyes, but they next time they met, he held her gaze with a challenging one of his own. “I don’t miss them!” Her voice shot up, cracking, then she nervously looked around- a few people were looking, and she ducked her head. “No, I just… Maybe—Maybe if I can just go back to the void. You can take me back there. I just want to see them- I want to make sure theyre okay.”

“Elsa.” Ian said slowly. “I’ll even admit. They weren’t totally evil. And you saw something good in them that I didn’t see in them- that Anti didn’t even see in them… but they’re just part of the void. I know you’ve been wanting to check on Ellie and Traci, and hang with them again, but you cant use the void and Grace and Kelly to fill that. You’re missing it, and belive me, I got that, sometimes the void felt like—I don’t know, that it gave you purpose outside of school shit. But that’s in the past for you- its almost in the past for me. You have to move on.”

“Ian.” Elsa said, her voice trembling now. “They need me to take care of them-. They need me.”

“Who. Which ones are you talking about?”

“Ellie.”

“Ellie?” Ian questioned.

“No! I said Kelly, you heard me. I know Ellie’s a grown-ass woman, she can take care of herself.”

“You said Ellie because you miss her.” Ian said. “And you think that even if you find Kelly and Grace, that it’ll fill what you miss about your friends. Did you really try to contact them? I spoke with Traci just last week. She’s not that hard to get a hold of. Are you sure you tried to contact them?”

“Ian you’re fucking confusing me. I never was talking about Traci or Ellie.” Her voice twisted unpleasantly as she tried to keep a cap on her volume. “You’re… you’re putting words in my mouth.”

“I’m not going to take you to the void.” Ian said, his voice sharp.”If you really missing something you need to connect with your friends. Your real friends.”

“Fuck you.” Elsa’s voice was quiet, but shook with rage- with—grief. “They would call me if they wanted to. They’d come see me if they wanted to, Ian. But Grace and Kelly cant do that. I’d… I’d even like to see Chelsa again.” Tears spilled from her eyes. “I just need to see them, I just need to make sure they’re okay, okay? How dare you try this psycho-analyzing bullshit on me.”

Ian leaned in closer to her. “I don’t know how to help you, but this isn’t the way. How about we just---“ There were certainly eyes on him. “Lets just head back to my place, and talk about this.”

“In the void?”

“No.”

“That’s what I thought.” Elsa shoved at the table, knocking over Ian’s water, and knocking the air out of him just a bit as the table bumped against the body. He coughed, and raised his hands as the water spilled in his lap, then started climbing up to his feet. “Elsa-“

“Stay the fuck away from me!” Elsa stumbled as she stood up after another shove parted her from the table enough to stand. Her world spun, and she gripped the table, but she laughed harshly, and stood up again. “Why did I think you’d ever want to help anyone but your god-damn self.”

“Elsa!”

But Elsa’s head was pounding, and she could feel hundreds- millions of eyes on her. She shook her hand, rubbing at the tears, shed and unshed, and rushed out of the fenced in group of tables.

Ian went up to go after her, but by time he had dug his cash to leave for the tea and muffin, she was nowhere to be seen. He gritted his teeth, trying to politely pull attention off of him. He opened his phone as it rang, and put it up to his ear, but moved onto the sidewalk, looking for sight of her.

“Listen, I’ll have to call you back.” He said quickly, and hung up. Surely, his boyfriend or whoever the hell that even was would understand.

-----

The girl blinked as she looked at her phone, the ‘call ended’ screen blinking at her. “Wow…” he sounded in quite a rush. Her grey-ish, blue-ish eyes spotted her bag and she tugged it off the turntable baggage claim.

Ellie turned back to the familiar Japanese airport, and smiled a bit to herself, feeling at home once again. She couldn’t wait to see her apartment and her friends (if Ian ever remembered to call her back). A thought occurred to her, and her expression brightened as she moved to hail a taxi.

She could probably hang with Elsa! They needed time to catch up, honestly- they hadn’t spoken in so long…

“I hope she misses me as much as I miss her.” Ellie said to herself with a chuckle.

#technically eyesagao #eyesagao #adult!au #eyesagao elsa #eyesagao ian

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journeysintowebcomics · 7 years

Text

Homestuck Liveblog #171

UPDATE 171: Like Punching Your Own Face

Last time Roxy had managed to create the matriorb out of thin air, and Dave and Dirk were finally having a much-needed conversation, Dave unloading everything he had in his head regarding Bro’s way of raising him. It was raw and made me sympathize a lot with Dave, but it’s not over yet. Let’s continue.

The first thing I read in this update is Dirk apologizing. Huh. It wasn’t your fault, Dirk, Dave simply had the bad luck of being raised by a sucky version of you. Then again, as it was pointed to me: Dirk himself admitted long ago that he has no business raising anyone. He’s not wrong, if this was the result. Roxy didn’t do a stellar job, but she wasn’t a complete disaster – the ocean-sized gap that’s the lack of communication between the Lalondes was the problem. All in all, maybe not having to raise them by themselves would have helped.

DAVE: you had a completely different life full of like DAVE: different choices and actions and stuff

He’s not wrong about that, environment shapes people a lot. I wonder how alternate Dave would have raised Dirk if there wasn’t the slight problem of Dirk being a few centuries in the future...and also if alternate Dave hadn’t been killed. That can’t have been of help either.

Dirk continues feeling responsible of what Bro did, saying he needs to take responsibility for all the splinters that are him. It’s hard to understand, a bit. I honestly can’t even start saying how complicated it is to feel like that – but somehow I have the feeling that a lot of people in the world would feel responsible for what their alternates do. I don’t know if I would.

DIRK: I've felt... DIRK: Haunted by them. DIRK: And what that really means is, I'm perpetually haunted by my own bad qualities.

You literally made glasses that are filled with some of your own bad qualities, Dirk. You kinda brought that one to yourself, just saying.

Dave appreciates Dirk’s apologies, even though it feels weird to hear it from someone that isn’t the Bro he knew, which in turn makes Dirk confess that he isn’t even happy with his relationships with his peers – especially with Jake. Well yeah, no surprise there, everything is still a fresh wound. It was just a day ago or so that Jake was telling to other people that he felt suffocated. Who knows, maybe in the future that’ll change! Don’t give up, Dirk.

It’s nice to see that Dave and Dirk are trying to give support to each other despite the trouble they have to connect. It’s clumsy, it’s distant, but they’re trying. It’s more akin to pulling teeth than a heartfelt conversation, buuuuuuut it’s the best the Striders can do.

DAVE: you dont actually seem like a bad person to me though DIRK: No? DAVE: nah DIRK: Why not? DIRK: We did just meet, after all. DAVE: because DAVE: i dunno if truly bad people wrestle so much with whether theyre good or bad

Dirk is not a bad person. He can be extremely difficult to deal with, but he’s not bad. I’m sure hearing it from Dave will make it resonate more than if he had heard it from anyone else, even if everyone else would be more energetic about telling him that he’s a good person. Dirk isn’t even accepting it from Dave at face value, although he is grateful about it. Everyone else idolized him, after all.

DIRK: She meant well, but was so enamored of me, and seemingly everything I did. DIRK: Which I think was the last thing I needed. DIRK: To be idolized in some form by other people I respected. DIRK: I had enough of that feeling coming from within, particularly when I was younger.

No wonder Bro ended like that. I really don’t think anyone dared to tell him about his flaws. I suppose that maybe this could be interpreted as a sign that Bro respected Dave, but I’m not going to think that’s correct. That relationship was pretty messed up, after all.

Dave sounds genuinely floored to hear everything his alternate self did in Dirk’s universe, including killing clown presidents and somehow managing to make a million Statues of Liberty. I’m still wrapping my head around that one. Could that have been how things would have gone if the world hadn’t ended horribly? Hm...no. The movies and all were a way to give the Condesce a sucker punch, no Condesce means those concrete movies wouldn’t exist. It’s hard to say what would have happened. Maybe Dave really would have gone into the fields that study dead stuff.

Dirk tried to follow Dave’s perceived good traits. Golly, Dave must have never seen that coming.

DIRK: You get to apply all that potential you showed in one reality to something much bigger and more existentially critical. DIRK: Whatever strength you showed in trying to save a dying planet, the fact is, I think we need that more here. DIRK: And the trials inherent in being a part of something like this, I think they bring more out of you than a relatively pedestrian life on Earth would. Make you face more things about yourself. At least, that's been true for me.

Oh hey, I just realized that this alternate Dave pretty much did everything that’s expected of the Dave we know: fight, resist, and pretty much be a cornerstone of the rebellion against the Condesce. He’s everything Dave doesn’t think he can be. Think about that, Dave.

DIRK: I hope it doesn't come off as overly sentimental garbage, but it seems to me like you turned out to be a really good dude. DIRK: Like, really, a better sort of dude I ever imagined talking to when I pictured meeting the legendary guy I idolized. DIRK: I pictured him as probably being "too cool" to be the type of guy you are. DIRK: But you know what, fuck being too cool for that.

Congratulations, you pretty much punched Dave’s hopes from when he was thirteen years old. It’s for the better. Somehow hearing that Dave is not the “cool” person Dave had once hoped Bro would see him as catches him off-guard. Here we go! This’ll be the turning point for Dave, won’t be it? Things are going to change for him – hopefully! Dave certainly had the big character arc in Homestuck, even if he says people don’t have arcs.

And here we go!

DAVE: its really fucked up of me DAVE: what im presently doing DAVE: so DAVE: sorry about that DIRK: Oh, y- DIRK: Yeah. DIRK: Man. DIRK: This is some fucked up shit alright. DAVE: i know

This is much more than I expected. Of all things that could happen, a hug wasn’t even close to the top of the list. This is actually a pretty sweet moment, I’m glad it actually happened. Part of me was sure Hussie wouldn’t show them talking, but he did. I’m glad I was proven wrong about it.

So! There’s only one conversation left before things may kick into overdrive straight towards the last part of Homestuck! Roxy is going to meet Kanaya, surely to give her the matriorb. Things are winding down everywhere else, it won’t be long now!

Roxy appears from the skies with a ‘heeeeeey’ and repeats it a few more times, preparing the surprise by telling her to guess what she brought. I can guarantee that the matriorb is not going to be a guess here, hah!

KANAYA: Is It The Thing Behind Your Back ROXY: yup but u gotta be more specific KANAYA: Is It A Little Piece Of Paper That Says Hey On It ROXY: hahahahaha no but that would be SO FUNNY!

I won’t lie, I wouldn’t have been surprised if it hadn’t been that. Wish you had thought about it before. Maybe there’s still time to write “I.O.U one (1) matriorb” on any random rock and give it to her...or maybe that’d be cruel. Shrug.

Not wasting any more time, Roxy presents the matriorb, much to Kanaya’s astonishment. She’s so surprised she can barely express her surprise while Roxy tries to explain in vague terms. Look at that, Kanaya has tears in her eyes! It must be hard to describe, the feeling of hope in seeing the way the troll race is going to be resurrected. Keep it away from the Condesce and everything should be fine.

Nobody would have thought that the way to revive the trolls would just be given to her like this, but she can’t complain. There’s a lot of work to do, the mother larva isn’t going to raise itself. There’s a life of duty and work ahead of her.

Where’s Karkaroni, asks Roxy? “Meditating”. With his face deep into the dirt. You’re so lucky you’re telling this to someone Roxy doesn’t know very well, nobody else would believe such answer.

Roxy gets into her role of Rose’s mother and tries to know Kanaya better, asking about the meteor tri, where everybody formed small groups and only convened like twice of three times. It wasn’t the social jamboree Roxy imagined. Could have been worse, Roxy. It was worse once. At least now everyone is more or less getting along and Kanaya is aware she needs Karkaroni’s help so trolls aren’t like in Alternia.

...having doubts about fighting? Well I can understand Kanaya would want to protect the matriorb and that she believes her skills are not as good as everyone else’s, but if the Condesce isn’t defeated that matriorb will only be good as a paperweight. Roxy points all that and tries to give Kanaya encouragement about her skills. Well not many things can beat a chainsaw in power. That’s all enough to convince Kanaya to go with her and prepare for the fight.

Now that all the dialogue options are over, the point of view returns to the dream bubble where Vriska has gone to harass herself. Yeah, don’t ask me why she’s bothering to do this.

Okay, I read one page and I’m already feeling a bit sick. I don’t know how Hussie is doing this, managing to make me dislike Vriska after I spent most of her appearances liking her. In just a few hundred pages he’s managing to make me not want to read her anymore. It’s going to be difficult to write something that isn’t constant grumbling. Well, there’s one thing...

VRISKA: Remem8er when you used to care a8out that sort of thing? VRISKA: No, o8viously not. VRISKA: All you care a8out now is 8ullshit hipstery fashion trends, feeling "happy", and... whatever the fuck it is you're doing here? VRISKA: Frolicking with some horses in an ugly field or some shit. VRISKA: Just a8solutely disgraceful. VRISKA: How could I have 8ecome so selfish?? VRISKA: You do know this is selfish, right? VRISKA: This isn't having some fucking "epiphany" or like "growing as a person" or whatever self-serving spin you might 8e putting on what's happening here. VRISKA: It's just plain narcissism, the worst kind you're capa8le of. A total renunci8tion of any responsi8ility for contri8uting to the gr8ter good. VRISKA: And it makes me FUCKING SICK.

...I have no words. Yeah, looking for personal happiness is selfish, but there’s nothing wrong with being reasonably selfish. I just...I can’t say anything about this that isn’t some sort of circular argument that in the end isn’t worth typing here. I just can’t say anything.

VRISKA: Contrary to your lazy fakey "happy" shit, I've ACTUALLY GROWN AS A PERSON. VRISKA: What do you think of THAT, you frivolous, dithering 8ITCH????????

Like hell you did!

Just...agh.

Looks like the dead Vriska wasn’t wrong, the horses really is a bad omen for her. Meenah is leaving her and going with the Vriska that is alive. At least Meenah has the decency to be conflicted about what she’s feeling and all, but damn, what a way to punch someone that’s already down, Hussie.

Meenah likes dead Vriska a lot, and she admits it, but she’s bored of having an idyllic life with dead Vriska. She wants to fight Lord English and here’s the chance to do it. Dead Vriska may have changed, but Meenah is the same than before, and that one isn’t content with sitting on the sidelines. That’s why she’s leaving – more or less.

I feel bad for dead Vriska. It’s almost hard to believe that the end for the character I knew for so long is this – or at least this seems like the end. It feels...weird. I feel really bad for her. I wish this hadn’t gone for this. Heck, Meenah deciding to go fight Lord English would have been understandable. I just wish this whole thing hadn’t needed to happen.

Hm. I think I should be stopping here for now.

Next update: next time

#homestuck #homestuck liveblog #webcomics #liveblog #webcomics liveblogs

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