#my mc is femme but uses they/them <3

[punkeropercyjackson]

My Toh self-insert lore masterpost

His name is Verano Azul and he's black/white mixed dominican-Not the Demon Realm equivalent like Willow being korean but as in one of his parent's is from Earth and dominican.The parent in question is named Esta and is something of a dark parallel to Luz,a human who ended up on the Boiling Isles and is instead a magic hater who sides with Belos because she grew up catholic with 'fairy tales' about him.His other parent is named Invierno and he has an older brother named Otoño who goes by Oto

Esta and Invierno are abusive to him because of intergenerational trauma from their latino heritage and encourage Oto to bully him and uphold him as 'the sibling they raised right'.Verano had severe self-eestem issues because of this and it was only added on to by being bullied at Hexside for his shyness and obvious hybrid status(having non-pointed ears,which this amazing picrew sadly dosen't provide)

He's the same age as Luz and was a trio with Willow and Gus until she came along and made them a quartet.He met his first ever two friends the same day they met eachother when they saw him getting bullied by Boscha and Gus caused a distraction with his illusions so Willow could sneak him away to a hiding spot and Gus hid too to avoid Boscha's wrath.Once school let out,Verano nervously approached them to thank them and hung out with them the next day which turned into every day after that

He's in the healing track/coven and got shit from his family for it because they wanted him to 'take a more useful one' and his palisman is a pink strawberryonic dragon named Fresa

Los Padres Azules also never truly let him be feminine as a kid and called him an ungrateful brat for asking for things like children's makeup kits and dolls so as part of her redemption arc,Amity teaches him how to be femme and buys him the stuff they refused to and a particularly special item he's always wearing because it was the first one she bought him is his plain pink choker

His fashion sense is pastel and mostly girly but with some masc hints here and there since he's bigender and it makes him happy with himself.He's short and scrawny and has naturally 4b hair he was forced to relax by his racist mom growing up and he dyes a baby pink streak in it in season 3 as a bonding activity with Amity and Willow until the epilogue where we see he's switched to twists and several streaks and gone from regular pastel to pastel punk

He also invented video games in Demon Realm since Luz introduced him to them and he learned how to make them as he loved them enough for it to become a special interest.He started with an unused pink Tamagotchi gift from Luz and worked his way up to a whole technological revolution he used purely for good(I.e entertainment,education,comfort and so forth games only)

Has a genderfluid pride pin on his dress in Thanks To Them and in the time he spent on earth is when he discovered punk culture and got radicalized and learned he was actually a social butterfly who just hadn't found the right people-The 'right people' being the rest of the Hexside Squad,Vee and Masha.Him and Masha are pastel/goth besties and they get in on the Residencia Noceda secret thanks to it because in this verse we got the full season we deserved and Veesha gets to unfold onscreen like Lumity did and there's also extra Grimwalker lore bits and backstory on Luz's earth life and Camila is a major mc

Eda becomes a mother figure to him throught his frequent visits to The Owl House to see Luz and adopts him mid-season 1 after finding out he's being abused thanks to him accidentally revealing it during one of their conversation's.She went to the Azul residence and tricked his parents into giving her custody via adoption papers and easily beat them when they tried to fight her.Oto wasn't around to witness it but is still scared shitless of her and avoids Verano from then on(He does apologize in For The Future and Verano says he accepts but dosen't wanna be around him anymore and he respects that).Raine is also his parent due to their's and Eda's marriage and there's not a day without both chaos and wholesomeness with them

Considers Camila his official parent too(and she sees him as her son and daughter)and is eternally grateful to her for teaching him about blackness unlike Invierno.Perry,who was never told about Verano's abuse until after Eda came along,did teach him a few things but sadly couldn't get many because of him still living with his racist parents

And his final parent is Darius.This one has funny reasons because the context is that the two of them got so close thanks to Verano being best friends with Hunter that Darius kept dropping hints to Eda he wanted shared custody and she teased him into admitting outright and laughed at his embarrased anger before agreeing to it.Verano was overjoyed when they told him and told them into a group hug after them each a platonic cheek kiss,squealing about how much he loves them and what they were going to do as a family.He also ends up being All Tracks due to his mixed home life making him learn so many magic types

His Bad Girls coven shirt is all shades of pink and he adores King and Darius' abominations so much and technically lives with both Raeda and him due to how often he stays over at his.Verano got a taste of the fine life starting in 'Abnomination and Son and Daughter' when it started and he learned to employ a couple of his daily routines and mannerisms into his own.He calls Darius 'Daddy' instead of Dad and the man started sobbing on the spot the first it happened

His full name is technically Verano Azul Clawthorne Noceda Whispers Deamonne but for the sake of shortness he just uses his first name when introducing himself

When he started unmasking,he turned into a very bubbly and optimistic weirdgirl who slowly became a Team Mom as his friend circle grew.His favorite stims are chewy necklaces,flappy hands,running around and echolalia,he's good ar handling meltdowns,his special interests are dragons,cats,ghosts,video games,pink and anarchy/chaos,his safe foods are booding and Dairy Queen(post/during season 3)and he has a whole diy'd backpack of safe items he carries around

Like the rest of the Hexside Squad,he had an episode dedicated to his first meeting with Hunter and their's was called 'Little Pink Flying Hood and The Hunter'.It took place post Eclipse Lake but pre Hollow Mind and had them bumping forehead first into eachother due to his broom going out of control and getting lost in woods and trying to find their way back home.They became friends at the end as they bonded deeply,including Verano telling him he dosen't have to be perfect and Hunter responding that they don't need to feel like a freak either.They don't reveal his secret identity in ASIAS but there's a running gag that he thinks they will and at one point they snark that if he keeps at it they'll spill the beans

Verano,Willow,Gus and Hunter are called 'The Four Emeralds' and their group chat they created after Darius gave Hunter his phone is titled that and it's extremely chaotic but sweet

His Flapjack tatto is on his right palm

He's Gus and Mat's wingmanwoman and finds Mat's cringe to be super cool.They're something of a subtrio as they get their own episode with Steve too that's about brotherhood shenanigans(The Tholomule bros with Verano + Verano and Gus),gay anticts(Gustholomule)and trans femme swag(Verano)and it's called 'Oh brother,where art tholomule?'.This trinity's name is 'The Creation Counts'(yeah,like the vampire joke.They are dorks SUPREME)

His halloween costume was a pink and white dragoncat onesie with blue catdragon face paint and strawberry scented paws

He's a Penstagram influencer technically but the influence is just him being witch Megan Thee Stallion where he just posts positivity,humor,him having fun and activism related things.Also as an adult he posts 'thirst traps' that're just him having that drip but the Healer Girl Summer Nation go wild

He also appears in Chibi Tales and was redrawn as Tiana in her blue dress fit for Black History Month by an artist on the crew.His character is meant to be representation for black femmes like how Luz is for black baby butches

The second design is from a swap au created by @theautisticcentre where he's the grimwalker instead of Hunter so rather than Philip,Belos had a sickening obsession with a mulatta from his time period and Verano's name is instead 'Victoria Wittebane' as a result.Belos holds no attraction to 'her',an egg he forces not to crack out of being a puritan,but he's a very awful 'father' to Victoria and she's known as 'The Golden Maiden'.If you want more lore,go ahead and ask Mathew about,he is a fantastic content creator and takes requests for headcanons and fics as well♡

And the 3rd design is canon complaint,as Belos gets his hands on Verano to torment Hunter and Luz in Watching and Dreaming by 'dehumanizing' him to show Verano's 'true self' by making him half Dragon,dragons being on par with Titans in godhood status but considered lesser than them and having been at war as a result like they were with Collectors,but this backfired on him because Verano is dragonkin/a dragon therian and Titan Luz and 'Dragono' defeated him at last together in a show of sisterhood,holding hands when they finished and going back to their loved ones while leaning on eachother for support.Like i headcanon Titan!Luz,Dragono still lingers in Verano

And also like his hermana,he regularly travels between worlds and it turns out there's a place called Dragonland that's kept secret to avoid new conflict and he becomes an ambassador for them!!!

#verano azul #esta azul #invierno azul #oto azul #willow park #gus porter #luz noceda #amity blight #eda clawthorne #raine whispers #t4t raeda #camila noceda #darius deamonne #hunter noceda-deamonne #t4t gustholomule #steve tholomule #mattholomule #flapjack toh #victoria wittebane #dragono #verano azul clawthorne noceda whispers deamonne #t4t huntlow #hexside squad #masha toh #vee noceda #t4t veesha #toh #real self shipping hours #summerposting #picrew

[blood-choke]

Feels like i just need to say something??? I don't think I've seen any IFs captures the fucking silliness of lesbian dating so fantastically (yes i call it all silly). The mess, the jealousy, the omg-are/were-you-dating my ex? The figuring out about identity part, idk I'm rambling but you just managed to capture that lesbian spirit so well, i know there's vampires and magic stuff in there but everything is so realistic! Except for one thing and I'm grateful for it, is how civil the non-femmes are with each other. Okay cause like at first I was already on competition mode like at the first time all 3 of the ROs are in the same place (i know silly especially after what has happened previously), cause I was just so used to it. But no, everyone was so civil, I was a little wary about Hana but then she hit on the MC and I was like 👁️👄👁️ wait what? And the supposed "bitching and moaning" That Hana did, man I found it to be exactly not that. It was a very respectful conversation and request and wow I wish that is how it is in real life (Ofc I can't speak for everyone's experience but that is how it is for me). Anyway awesome IF!

thank you!!!!!! i am so happy the lesbian spirit comes through 😳 and honestly that was exactly the one thing i wanted to avoid and why i chose to make most of the ROs butch (and also because i love butches. and also because i think it’s funny that Valentina completely surrounds herself with butches, even Joan and Lucky lol)

there absolutely is a kind of competitiveness that i’ve found in butch/femme spaces and butch4butch relationships are still pretty rare and looked down upon even in some lesbian circles (we’re those lesbians (derogatory)). i still wanted there to be jealousy with Valentina and Hana and that tense rivalry but i wanted to do it in a way that wouldn’t immediately pit the three butches against each other, and i wanted all of them to be open to the mc and not even think twice about her being butch too.

obviously the tension will still escalate as the story progresses especially if you’re choosing to be monogamous but honestly the girls are too old for some of that shit LOL

#and clear is the youngest but i cannot stress enough she’s just kinda happy to be there #she’s excited to make friends and be in this space just as much as she is abt potential romance #but even valentina has the attitude of ‘as long as you come home to me’ which she literally says in game #if you kiss hana or clear and then come back home and kiss her lol #tho she still has her Moments esp if you’re intimate right in front of her like in the club…. #and hana is too casual she’s just not at the same intensity as valentina #tho she can get jealous too it’s just not comparable V is in her own category lmfao #also sorry you sent this like a month ago 😭 #ask #anonymous

[choicesmc]

MEET Jiahao Enyinnaya Thorne bigender, she/he

Book: Immortal Desires Love Interest: [Redacted] Sexuality: Questioning~

APPEARANCE

Hair: kinky hair usually kept in long pink + teal braids Eyes: Brown eyes but usually wears contacts Height: 5' 9" (175 cm) Ethnicity: Chinese-Nigerian

BASIC INFO

Birthday: May 18, 20XX Zodiac: Taurus Hobbies: nail art, voice acting, and old school shojo anime/manga Homestate: Illinois

PERSONALITY

Jiahao is used to all the best things in life and is not afraid to demand for them. Hyper femme with a deep voice, he's used to drawing attention wherever he goes —especially when he's all dolled up. Unfortunately for her admirers, Jiahao doesn't lend out her trust easily. If you want it, he'll make you work for it.

FUN FACTS

Her mom is Charity Sullivan, my MC from the Surrender series. The events of this take place years (more than two decades) after the canon events of the Surrender series.

Jiahao is the only of my OCs to have a sibling —Adanne Thorne who is 3 years older than him (+ currently in university overseas)

Her tag is #jet because those are her initials. (she has complicated feelings surrounding her names 😈)

He shares my gender!! <- am very very happy with this one!!

She voiced Dopey Cat (from LoveHacks) when she was younger which kickstarted her voice career pretty early.

#oc/mc #jet #love this gal but jfc she stole my pink from me #<- some may have noticed that I use certain colors for certain characters (fiona + green | rin + purple | rams + orange) #so i use pink as my 'non character related' color for links and highlights #but clearly that'll have to change #also i spent like three hours on the moodboard #love how it came out tho!!

[stephschoices]

what is ur process of coming up with an mc/oc? i know you are an artist so im quite curious as to how you usually go about it? do you create the characters appearance first or does the fc sometimes inspire their appearance? and how do you go about fleshing otu their personality? seulki and rian are my two faves of ur ocs, but theyre all amazing and i love all of their vibes.

hi!!

so it honeslty just depends how i'm feeling getting into a new game/if ~!

sometimes i'll have a faceclaim in mind i really wanna use for whatever game i get into next and that faceclaim will help determine my mcs vibes. or sometimes i'll decide how i want the mc to look first and seach for a faceclaim to match! just depends on how i'm feeling that day lol

for personality, i think i just answered something similar yesterday here!

i'm so glad u like seulki and rian uwu <3 i appreciate it (and so do they lol),, so for example seulki: i knew i wanted her to romance noah so i made her with noahs romance in mind wanting her to have the "femme fatal" or "black widow" character trope vibes and then chose her face claim to match ~ and for rian i new i wanted a chill down to earth aesthetic for them to be opposite to how anxious and stressed sebastian is at the beginning of their relationship lol

#ask #anon #thank u for these questions uwu #i love that ppl are so interested in my character creation process lol

[goosemixtapes]

ok i’ve elected to just Make The Damn Post My Damn Self because i need something to link back to when i inevitably get into arguments about this because i have run-my-mouth disorder. so. slightly-more-generally-applicable companion piece to this post:

“but how can lesbians use he/him pronouns???!?1???”

1: pronouns =/= gender.

one of the arguments i see a lot with this topic is “pronouns = gender, & saying otherwise is transphobic.” i GET this, because pronouns are important & often correlate with gender, but saying pronouns = gender is oversimplified. pronouns are a method of gender presentation - same as clothing, name, & so on & so forth. society genders all of these things, but names & clothing do not prescribe gender. a man, cis or trans, who decides to wear a dress does not become a woman because of the dress; a woman, cis or trans, with a traditionally “masculine” name (ex. bailey, taylor, cameron), does not become a man because of the name. closeted trans people, if they must use names and wear clothing correlated with their agab, are still trans & are still the gender they are.

yes, most binary-gendered people choose clothing & names that “match” their gender, but some might not! think of butch lesbians -- they are women, just deliberately gendernonconforming women. pronouns are the same way -- the majority of men use “masculine” pronouns, & the majority of women use “feminine” pronouns, but this is because pronouns are a form of gender expression/presentation.

“pronouns =/= gender” does not equate to “i can misgender whoever i want.” pronouns should always be respected.

2: nonbinary people can use whatever pronouns they want.

this follows from #1. yeah, i’d say the majority of nonbinary people use they/them pronouns. but not all nonbinary people dress totally androgynously; some present more feminine or more masculine. the same is true for pronouns. nonbinary people may use she/her or he/him pronouns as part of their presentation - think of jonathan van ness (uses primarily he/him) or rebecca sugar (uses she/her along with they/them). this isn’t even getting into neopronouns; that’s a whole different post. the point is that restricting nonbinary people to they/them pronouns really misses the point of identifying as nonbinary: it’s not a third slot in the gender binary; it’s the general state of existing outside or partially outside of it.

(note: cis people can also use whatever pronouns they want. some cis lesbians use he/him; i’ll get to he/him lesbians a few slots down, but i just want to make it clear that sometimes cis people also use pronouns to express gender nonconformity & that’s their business & the same idea!)

3: lesbians can be nonbinary.

nonbinary =/= totally genderless. sometimes, for some people, it does mean that! but not for everyone. see #2 again, on trying to make nonbinary a strictly defined third gender.

(note: this doesn’t only apply to lesbians. this honestly applies to anyone. i’m just talking about lesbians because that’s My Lane.)

lesbians in particular often have complex relationships with gender, & have for literal decades. as womanhood is to a large degree constructed in contrast to & in relation to manhood, lesbian gender has kind of taken on its own thing since we just... are never in relationships with men, ever, which muddles the whole thing up. (also, womanhood is often a generally uncomfortable and muddled thing because of, you know, misogyny, so there’s that.) thus, a lot of lesbians feel disconnected from “womanhood” as an idea.

a lot of people like to protest nonbinary lesbians by saying “but a lesbian is a GIRL who likes GIRLS!!!1!!” yes. we... we know. the thing is, though, that if any nonbinary person identifies as a lesbian, they are probably close enough to womanhood to count as a wlw! the term “lesbian” automatically brings “women who love women” to people’s minds. if a nonbinary person is uncomfortable associating with womanhood at all, literally why would they use that term. it stands to reason that the people who DO use that term feel at least a tangential connection there.

a lot of lesbians define their gender solely as “lesbian.” in my own experience, the ONLY connection i feel toward womanhood is liking girls in a gay way. the attraction i feel toward women is gay attraction - i am attracted to women who like women. i do not want to date a straight woman who sees me as a man. if i didn’t like women, i wouldn’t have this connection & would probably identify otherwise - but i do like women & as it is that’s pretty much... what my gender is. (this is why people may say their gender is “butch” or “femme” -- it’s the same idea of a gender defined by attraction & the way you relate to women!)

for some people, nonbinary does mean totally genderless. for others, it just means anything that isn’t strictly binary. hence why some lesbians may consider themselves nonbinary - not entirely woman, but woman enough to be a lesbian. an example in layman’s terms: you know how “berry” lacroix tastes like it maybe saw a berry, once, from a distance? my gender is lacroix and the flavor is woman.

4: lesbians can thus use whatever pronouns they want.

i think this one is like... a geometry proof. #2 (nonbinary people can use any pronouns) + #3 (lesbians can be nonbinary) makes this one pretty simple. while the rest of this post will be about he/him lesbians, because that’s what i see the most “discourse” about, lesbians can use she/her or they/them or he/him or it/its or xe/xem or Any Other Pronouns They Want. Any.

5: “but why would a lesbian ever want to use he/him pronouns?”

people who ask this are usually asking one of these more specific questions:

“but if you use he/him, aren’t you a man?” see #1.

“but why would lesbians want to use masculine pronouns when lesbianism is about women?” i don’t know. why do butch lesbians dress masculinely? why do they often use masculine names or nicknames? it’s about the deliberate gender nonconformity, something that has been central to lesbian communities for literal decades. pronouns are another form of presentation (see #1); using pronouns other than she/her is another form of nonconformity.

“masculine clothing and names i get -- but why pronouns? that feels a little much.” i do get this! i used to feel the same way! but the criteria for being a lesbian is like... 1) not a man 2) a woman or at least sort of connected to being a woman (see #3) (yes, this includes trans lesbians, who are not men) 3) attracted to women and not men. that’s the criteria. that’s all.

& i would like to think that some of you have the best intentions. but i would really, really caution you away from trying to disqualify people from iding as lesbians because of the pronouns they use. saying “well, clearly lesbians can wear masculine clothes and have masculine names, but the pronouns are a step too far” doesn’t make any sense -- where do you draw the line? at what point are you trying to define when someone is “too masculine to be a lesbian?” and why do you feel the need to do that?

this goes double for nonlesbians. i’ll repeat: really, honestly ask yourself why you feel the need to do that.

(note: butch lesbians aren’t the only lesbians who are gender nonconforming and they aren’t the only ones who use he/him pronouns! but i’ve found this is very common among butches, more so than other lesbians, + it’s another space where i can speak from personal experience.)

6: “wait but this feels kind of TERFy. are you saying trans men can be lesbians?”

oh no. oh god no. lesbians = not men. trans men = men. (& trans women = trans women, & TERFS can choke.)

i think there is a misconception among some trans men (especially transmedicalists) that he/him lesbians are trying to tell trans men they aren’t “real men” & thus undermining their identities. the idea is that we’re saying, “hey, look, lesbians can use whatever pronouns we want! thus, you don’t need to transition :) you can use he pronouns and still be a gay woman :)” to which the obvious response is “i’m not a woman and this is transphobic.”

but i... honestly truly have never seen a he/him lesbian say that. we aren’t the same! even if we use the same pronouns, even if we may take some of the same steps to feel gender euphoria (ex. wearing more masculine clothing, binding/going on T for afab lesbians), we are not the same! trans men = men. men cannot be lesbians. he/him lesbians = people who are not men, but have a complicated relationship to womanhood. thus:

he/him lesbians =/= trans men.

there is no correlation.

(note: i lied. there is one correlation. the correlation is friends and allies. trans men i’m on your team and i hope you’re having a good day. my right to exist is not mutually exclusive with yours; we’re fighting similar battles.)

7. “okay, i guess, but i still don’t really get it?”

that’s okay!! gender is confusing as shit (plus this was a long & slightly repetitive post, because i wanted to make sure i covered all my bases). here are some things you can do if you still don’t understand:

a) talk to more he/him lesbians! maybe my explanation doesn’t really do it for you, but someone else’s will! (if you’re interested in lesbian history, i can recommend stone butch blues, which can be downloaded as a PDF from leslie feinberg’s website. the main character’s relationship to gender isn’t quite the same as the one explained in this post -- jess has to use he/him & pass as male to stay safe -- but it’s still a good read that gets into the complexity of lesbian gender. the lesbian mc participates in butch/femme culture, gets top surgery, & later has a relationship with a trans woman -- so, basically, corroborating what i’ve said about how lesbians can do all of these things & still be lesbians.)

b) if you don’t have the time/energy/desire to talk to more he/him lesbians, that’s fine! just respect us. respect our pronouns. don’t misgender us; don’t call us men or say we aren’t lesbians. you don’t have to get it to accept us.

c) here’s a secret. if you still don’t understand, but you are no longer seeking help understanding & you’ve decided to just vibe and respect us without totally Getting It - that is totally fine. you don’t need to tell us this :) saying “hey, i don’t really get it, could you help?” is one thing. saying “hey, i still don’t get it. not asking for help, just letting you know” is uh. is like. um. okay thanks for informing me?? i guess ??

i understand that not everyone will Get It. but if you’re using my pronouns & respecting my identity, i do not need to hear that you don’t actually get it because my gender is super complicated. it is a little, er, how you say, impolite. (again - not the same as asking for help! i’m totally open to answer any questions anyone has.)

_______________________________________________________________________

source: i am a he/him lesbian.

you are allowed & politely encouraged to reblog this post.

if anyone would like to add to this post -- particularly other lesbians and/or trans women (as i’m tme and don’t want to overstep) -- feel free!

if anyone would like to ask me to elaborate on something, feel free to ask in the reblogs, replies, or in my inbox/dms!

if anyone would like to clown on this post and say some lesbophobic or transphobic bullshit without reading what i wrote, please block me, log off, & go trip over something <3

#max.txt #long post #WOOF. long post. im so sorry i have a lot to say #he/him lesbians

[blacksunscorpio]

Hello there! I'm confused about why do I keep begin seen as an Scorpio when I'm not. People tend to say that I look and act "dark", "dangerous", "mysterious", "secretive", the Scorpio stereotype lol. I'm a Saggitarius asc, but Pluto it's in my 1st house... but it's not close to it, so no conjunction. Also, my Sun (Cancer) is in the 8th house and my moon is in Scorpio. So yeah, I'm like.. okay, but I'm not Scorpio (?) Thanks!

Why You Feel Like A Scorpio When You’re “Technically” Not.

I’m happy you asked me this because I have numerous asks in my inbox [and Dm’s] inquiring about that. 

Possibility 1: You have 8th House Placements/Stelliums

This includes Luminaries like the Sun which is your ego and basic core, your Moon which is your emotional habits, your Mercury which is your mind, how you communicate and/or how you process information, or your Venus/Mars which are how you show appreciation, your love language, and your sexual nature/drive. Any of these planets living in Pluto’s realm [the 8th house] are going to flavor the planet with Scorpionic energy. Even if one of your inner planets is in Libra [a very Venusian/diplomatic and light-hearted sign], living in the 8th, it’s going to put some of that intense underworld energy on it. Your moon in a sensitive water sign like Cancer or Pisces is going to super-charge it with depth and even more intensity, so the way someone handles their emotions will play out in a very Plutonian fashion. They’ll be intense, perhaps a bit introverted and quite observing. Their natural intuitive/psychic abilities will be bolstered because of that Plutonic energy that will make them go from observant to investigative [to even a fantastical degree]. The type to see through people very easily.

Possibility 2: Pluto is in your 1st House

Pluto in the 1st, regardless if he is conjuncting the ascendant or just living there is going to put his energy on your ascendant. As a result, whether it’s a Capricorn rising you have or an Aries rising- Plutonic energy will be exhibited in how you display yourself to the world. People will be able to sense that 8th House energy and will react accordingly. This often displays itself as the native coming off as intimidating, aloof, reticent to share their real feelings, intense, sexy but in a more bad-boy/femme fatale way. They’ll often be mistaken for Scorpios even when they’re not. People may actually react to them the way they react to Scorpio Risings. 

Possibility 3: You have a Scorpio Signature

A signature sign is basically the sign you can come off as even if you have none of the particular placements. It is calculated when you add the modality [cardinal, mutable, fixed] and the element [Fire, Air, Water, Earth] of all your planets and your rising + MC [if you have your birth time]. So, if you add up all your inner planets [Sun, Moon, Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Neptune, Uranus & Pluto] and the equal a majority “fixed” and majority {water], your signature sign would be Scorpio since Scorpio is Fixed Water.

Possibility 4: One of Your Persona Charts has significant Scorpio Energy

This possibility came about by a sweet user who’s DM’d me about the very same question you’re asking. We went through a few of the aforementioned possibilities and they came back with this. I personally don’t use persona charts as much and prefer to stick with the solar chart  [your natural natal wheel] but as astrology is a study, we must consider all possibilities and routes. With that being said, the definition of a Persona Chart is the first transit of the Sun over the position of another natal planet. So, when the Sun makes its first circle around your wheel [in the 1st year of your birth] it 'wakes up' one subpersona after the other. This goes from Moon to Mercury to Venus, to Mars, and so on and so forth. Your Ascendant can even have a persona chart as well. You can calculate all 9 here.

Possibility 5: You have a Hades Moon

A “Hades Moon” is a synonym for a Scorpio Moon. Scorpio Moons, like I always say, my heart goes out to you. Since your moon is a very sensitive point in your chart, having Scorpionic energy living there can make your emotional states very intense. Regardless of your actual sign [Gemini, Virgo, Taurus, or Aqua], when your emotions are triggered or when you are alone you can feel very much like a Scorpio or people may observe Scorpionic tendencies from you. In addition to having a Hades/Scorpio moon, significant aspects from inner Planets to Pluto like Moon conjunct Pluto, Venus opposing Pluto, Mercury trine Pluto, Mars Square Pluto, etc can make one feel Plutonic influence quite strongly. If your Nadir is also in Scorpio, your “inner you” or adolescent environment could have very well had a tint of Plutonic influence that may cloak how you operate in your day to day life. Lastly, your most elevated planet could be Pluto. All in all, there are various factors that can contribute to one feeling like one sign more than another. See if any of the above explains your connection to Scorpionic energy/influence.

#Scorpio #Scorpio rising #Pluto in the first #8th house astrology #Hades moons #Scorpio moons #elevated planets #nadir #stelliums #persona charts #Hope this helps ❤ #Plutonic placements #plutonic influence #astro asks #bruja tips #astrology asks #astro tumblr

[vasyashumkov]

tell me abt ur ocs Pls idk them so idk what to ask but im inchrested

HI since ur anon and idk where u came from and I’d yoyve heard me talk about them before I will start with the basics

Unnamed Noir story ocs (set in the 40s)

Robert: private detective, but like, bad at it. He is however good at picking locks 😁👍 he’s kind of a misogynist due to the time period and how he was raised but he Wants to improve <3 hes Extremely repressed in all areas and very bad with talking about his feelings :-( he’s bisexual but will he ever admit it? (Maybe) hes based on the stereotypical noir detective but somewhat a parody. He may seem like an asshole and also be an asshole but he cares about people a lot and is just a silly guy

At this point I must mention the godfather iv+ series which is me and my friend writing really nonsensical scripts that are supposed to be godfather sequels but when we started writing them neither of us have seen the godfather so they’re not related to the films at all. Robert is the main chatavter in these (as well as being the mc in my Normal Not Silly Story) and his comedic features are amped up. Here is him going to therapy

Constance: she is the femme fatale!!! Also based on the stereotypical archetype but I make her much more complex than just Evil Woman. She has severe daddy issues and basically all the men in her life besides her brother and rob treat her like shit so :-( she has a hard time! she’s a night club singer and she did shoot her husband. she originally got into a relationship with rob because he was investigating That whole thing but she actually did end up falling in love with him :-( she’s still v manipulative however and their relationship is really toxic even though they love each other. She wants to be That confident bitch who kills men but in reality she is just very scared of men and that’s why she killed her husband (and others etc)

#thankkk youuuu for letting me infodump #feel free to ask any follow up questions or about any other ocs ^-^ #asks

[ja-lin]

As a warning, this is a LONG POST. I HAVE A LOT TO TALK ABOUT FROM JUST 3 EPISODES. So far, I like how different her personality is from the rest of the female LIs in the game. Breath of fresh air from the stereotypical character tropes like the mature older one, shy younger one, and femme fatale. Of course femme fatale will always be popular, but Lavinia offers variety.

There’s a type of character I always love, the ones that don’t follow the rules, but follow what they know is the right thing to do -- even if at the time, it seems horrible. You don’t know if the character is good or bad or on your side, but they just do their own thing and nothing can cause them to waver or change their mind.

Going to go back to Renzei again in this discussion because that was probably the best 4 seasons in this game. (I won’t stop talking about him or his story ever lol...) Was he a villain or a superhero for what he did? What defines being a good person and a bad person? When we go to Greek philosophy, it’s said that nobody is born evil or bad, but it’s what we experience in life that shapes us to be who we are. Should we follow structural society’s morals or the morals we know in our hearts?

That type of thin line is what I feel makes a dynamic character that’s fun to read. It’s also why a lot of my favorites have that type of personality. 

Renzei, to put many people at risk, to betray his friends in order to save his own family, or to do what’s the better good for the world?

Alex Cyprin, to go against their family, the gods or to do what’s right in their heart?

Antonio, to sacrifice the MC, to do everything possible to save his sister or to break this cycle of killing?

Sevastian, to stand up against his father and restore peace, or just muddle around and do nothing as a broken prince?

Helena (in Altea’s route), to stand up against her queen and do what’s right, or to stay loyal as a ‘weapon’ to her queen?

There are probably more characters that follow this, but these are the ones with the stories and personalities I liked the best. ALSO, Lavinia is friends with Ezra so you *know* anyone that gets along with Ezra will be fun to be with. Ezra is a lone wolf and probably selects friends and people he associates with very carefully.

Lavinia is a multi-layered character and she challenges and provokes the MC. And, as a reader I’m feeling that tension that the MC is feeling. It’s very fun to read, totally different experience from all the other female LIs. 

#ever after academy #lovestruck

[happymetalgirl]

Five* Outside albums of 2020

I do this little list every year of my favorite albums that fall mostly “outside” the metal sphere and weren’t so metal-adjacent that I reviewed them formally during the year. The past three times I have written this little piece, I have kept it to five, but *this year, I’ve just had a hard time narrowing it down, so I figured, why do that? Well, I could go through a few dozen albums or so that I fucked with this year outside the metal sphere, but I’m compromising with the addition of a new, quick (we’ll see) honorable mention section.

So, in the interest of keeping my verbose tendencies in check, I’ll cut this introduction off and get into the honorable mentions.

Honorable Mentions:

Anna von Hausswolff - All Thoughts Fly

I did review Anna von Hausswolff’s previous record, Dead Magic, back in 2018 as part of my bunch of metal albums reviews that year, because it was kind of tangentially metallic. It wasn’t a lot at a technical level, only a few metallic elements here no there, but it had a lot of harrowing qualities that I thought metal listeners might appreciate. For the Swedish singer and pipe-organist, that album really was the closest she ever came to metal’s territory, and I don’t think any flirting with the genre was intentional on her part. Most of what she does is haunting, neoclassical, organ-based music that’s usually not as wild as what Dead Magic was, and this year’s album is a real scale back to her roots and an appreciation for the pipe organ. While I do miss her bewitching vocals on this entirely instrumental album, All Thoughts Fly stands well on its own merits as both a solid tribute to von Hausswolff’s organ playing and as a beautiful, incredibly immersive ambient album that does so much with its relatively small palette. I’ve talked a few times on here about really shitty ambient music that’s approached with a clearly lazy attitude because of its supposed background role. Rather than being made to be ignored, All Thoughts Fly pulls you in and around in a swirl of lush sounds that aren’t too common in ambient music, and with a relatively minimal approach, relying on the naturally serene tambre of the instrument to fill the space with a lightening, floating ambience and well-structured movements to do the gentle moving. It’s a beautiful example of what an ambient album can achieve if it’s actually made with a lot of love and care.

Shabaka & The Ancestors - We Are Sent Here by History

Okay, that first one went pretty long. I’ll try to keep the rest of these here relatively short. Sons of Kemet band leader, Shabaka Hutchings, takes his other group on slightly less chaotic Afro-jazz odessey that what Sons of Kemet have been delivering us. While more contained on the surface within the genre’s usual light grey areas, Shabaka & The Ancestors move with freedom and flexibility on this album in a way that highlights the natural appeals of the Afro-jazz sound pallet through constantly engaging arrangements from masters of the craft.

Lady Gaga - Chromatica

I know we’re all well aware of Lady Gaga, but the pop icon has been relatively quietly been making the best music of her career since taking the edge rather than the center of the spotlight, from 2013’s diverse Artpop to 2016’s more bare-bones Joanne. And now, after her mellower, more traditional Americana-influenced album in 2016, Gaga cranks the volume and the fun way back up. Chromatica is a blast of an album whose wide span of dance pop albums influences new and old keeps it varied and lively all the way through. This album feels very much like it’s Gaga unleashed, just doing her thing and having a good time with a bunch of dance music styles that she’s always loved, and it’s impossible not to feel that enthusiasm secondhand, and groove the hell out along with it.

Black Thought - Streams of Thought, Vol. 3: Cane & Abel

Black Thought has had nothing to prove since the relative inactivity of The Roots this past decade, but he has sure been rapping as if he does have something to prove on his solo work. The Philadelphia rapper put out a couple of EPs back in 2018 that showcased his impressive modern lyricism and flow, and the third, LP-sized installment in the series is just another offering of further proof of the man’s lyrical chops. There’s a little bit of an understated delivery in the music overall, but Black Thought really lets his words speak for themselves more than his moderate bravado. It’s not super flashy because it doesn’t need to be.

Phoebe Bridgers - Punisher

Indie folk has always loved to soak in the puddles of personal sadness, but Californian singer Phoebe Bridgers takes the style to whole new depths of personally gripping, bordering on the outright emo, and that is by all means a compliment for rather than a shot at. The album’s candid journaling of Bridgers’ personal struggles is so tangible and so genuine that it would probably rival Connor Oberst’s best work with Bright Eyes. It is just a beautiful, yet tear-inducing album.

Alright, now on to the five “main” “non-metal” albums of the “list proper”.

Hexvessel - Kindred

Hexvessel are a Finnish six-piece whose sixth album of psychedelic folk here manages to touch on the same haunting, gothic tones that groups like Opeth and Gazpacho do at their most forest-y. Indeed, Kindred is an enchanting album, with sprawling styles and a full-bodied sonic pallet to keep it interesting the whole way through. And it’s as strong in its more bombastic song like that which opens the album as it is in its more stripped back acoustic tracks like that which closes it. Songs like “Magical and Damned” straight-up evoke Mount Eerie, while songs like “Kindred Moon” hearken to The Beatles at their most minimal and folky, and there’s plenty of spooky, mystical energy to go around. Definitely one of the best finds of the year for me.

The Strokes - The New Abnormal

Coming at the end of a seven-year gap between it and their previous album, 2013’s somewhat fan-polarizing Comedown Machine (which I liked a lot), The Strokes’ aptly named return is a return to the spotlight, but hardly to normalcy or the musical roots in garage rock that so many of the band’s fans have been sweating for. Twisting the electronic alternative rock of their Angles era into some odd, but mesmerizing forms, The New Abnormal is a subtly wild ride of an album through lots of melancholic overtones and undertones whose impact is made all the more potent by the occasional teasing of sorts with the few more traditionally rockin’ moments on here. It doesn’t take long to pull back the seemingly preppy synth rock or 80’s rock curtains to find the melancholy beneath “Brooklyn Bridge to Chorus” and “Bad Decisions”, respectively. But the band aren’t even that subtle with the immediate depression of just the straight-up guitar melodies on songs like “Selfless”, “Not the Same Anymore”, and the chill-inducing soar of “Ode to the Mets”. The album’s prize piece, though, has to be the utterly gorgeous and empathetic minimalist synth song, “At the Door”, whose simple melodies and bare delivery make for one of the most gently heart-piercing songs I know and of my favorite songs of the year and probably my favorite Strokes song ever, as hard as it is to listen to. Welcome back Julien and company.

Rina Sawayama - Sawayama

Quite possibly the best outright pop album I have heard in a long while, Sawayama sounds simultaneously fresh and vintage in the landscape it was born into, making use of a lot of early 2000’s pop rock instrumentation, even some heavy metal guitars here and there, but most importantly, a real sense of passion that seems to be flat-out absent from so much of the pop that I (usually inadvertently) hear. I don’t want to overstate the prominence of the metal elements, but the album does have a bubbling, infectious energy both vocally and instrumentally from front to back that the occasional bursts of heavy guitars between Sawayama’s charismatic, dance-inducing performances do provide a good snapshot of. Furthermore, there’s a rich diversity of song types across the album that dive into the pop sphere beyond the standard trend-hopping that dominates streaming playlists and make for a dynamic and fun, rather than disjointed, pop album. And that’s all only possible with the consistently tight compositions o the album. Indeed, this is one of the best pop albums I have ever heard, certainly in recent years.

clipping. - Visions of Bodies Being Burned

clipping. are the second artist to be on here two years in a row after last year’s spectacularly spooky There Existed an Addiction to Blood, and Denzel Curry’s one-two punch of TA13OO and Zuu in 2018 and 2019 respectively. There Existed an Addiction to Blood was a thrilling and fresh take on many tropes of horrorcore with the band’s already forward-thinking and creative noise-driven instrumental production guiding harrowing stories of femme fatales and street violence in a more modern setting that often flipped the script on victims and perpetrators, as well as settings themselves. Visions of Bodies Being Burned is quite literally a continuing sequel to that explosive album, also released in time for Halloween this year; the material was recorded in the same sessions as the previous album and in the same unique vein. Consequently, there’s not really a whole lot I can say about this album in contrast with the last without getting way too in-depth and spoiling the fun. Whereas MC Daveed Diggs’ hooks were one of the biggest strong points of last year’s album, the creatively noisy production is the big star on this album. The fans seem to be leaning a bit more toward this year’s release, but I think I’m still a little partial to There Existed an Addiction to Blood. Nevertheless, Visions of Bodies Being Burned is a blood-pumping follow-up not to be missed.

Mac Miller - Circles

The posthumous release from Pennsylvanian rapper Mac Miller captures the man at his most chill and contemplative. The album is more of a minimalist ambient singer-songwriter sort of album than hip hop and its serene atmosphere becomes kind of inadvertently tragic in the posthumous context, but it serves as a beautiful swan song for the creative rapper whose struggles with addiction sadly prevented him from being able to bask in the deserved wide appreciation of his sixth album. Circles is a soulful, bittersweet cap to Mac Miller’s legacy that I think anyone will be able to feel the love and raw humanness of.

#Black Thought #Streams of Thought #Streams of Thought Vol 3 #Anna Von Hausswolff #All Thoughts Fly #The Strokes #The New Abnormal #Hexvessel #Kindred #Rina Sawayama #Sawayama #Phoebe Bridgers #Punisher #Lady Gaga #Chromatica #Shabaka and the Ancestors #We Are Sent Here by History

[myfootsonfire]

(not named): a 3d platformer where get a wisp-like weapon that you change its form into other weapons (like BOTW) it's set in another world where mc went to with her 3 brothers (the brothers are not related but are a polyamorous couple she just thinks of them as her brothers, they adopted her) after the Earth went into an apocalypse but she's trying to find a way back to earth and a way to fix it (her brothers disappeared one by one trying to do so also. They are just missing but most assume that the 3 are dead) when she gets a new weapon she gains exp for that specific weapon the more she uses it to level up that weapon to learn skills (mc is femme enby and uses she/they pronouns) when the game ends I want it to end with her going back to Earth promising to fix the world for her brothers and to find them soon. I want it to end on a cliffhanger so that I may add a DLC or make a sequel to continue the story

(This is copied from my notes)

Oooooooo that sounds so cool actually! The thing I'm working on was originally gonna be a story based investigation game where you play as the mc, but the friends I was working on it with kinda stopped talking to me about it so I'm just gonna make it a comic instead cuz I don't know anything about coding. Sjsjsjs. But that sounds actually really epic dude. Literally that storyline sounds so cool I am excited to hear more about it!!!

#hailey has answers #lizzy in my asks

[bellarxse]

Get to know: Cesca Joyce (TMOHB)

100 Questions (https://the-moon-dust-writings.tumblr.com/post/159843387908/100-oc-questions) to get to know Cesca Joyce, MC in The Motion of Heavenly Bodies

1.    How do they present themselves to others? Soft femme – she has had the importance of femininity and her appearance drilled into her from an early age by her mother, but she has withdrawn from the idea of high-maintenance femininity as much as she feels she can

2.    Do they like animals? Cats and marine life. She doesn’t like dogs.

3.    How do they dress? Often as casual as she can manage, and often in something which hides her chest.

4.    How many language do they know? Fluent in English and German. proficient in French. Likes to watch K-dramas with subs, so she can pick up on the odd phrase now.

5.    How big is their family? Parents divorced. Two full siblings, two paternal half-siblings.

6.    What is their purpose in the story? Uh..they’re the main character. Ha. No, Cesca’s “arc”, such as it is at this point, is going to be about the importance of recognising and pursuing your own desires rather than letting people tell you what you should want.

7.    Do they know how to fight? The extent of her knowledge is basically that you should tuck your thumb into your fist if you throw a punch. That’s basically it.

8.    What is their back story? Distant father (working in international finance), mother (thwarted model, pregnant too young and unable to cope) at home with children she never wanted in the first place. She wants them to be the successes she never was, to shine with radiance that blinds the world. Sarah, their first daughter, is genial and hard-working but painfully plain, and the youngest, Alice, is manipulative and cruel, and looks it. But sweet little Franze, with her angelic curls and innocent blue eyes? Yes, she will do nicely. But it isn’t long before she rebels. Skinned knees and grubby hands (“Mutti, look what I found!”), and a profound disinterest in how to make herself more beautiful. So Julia tries again, taking away her rocks and microscopes and replacing them with vanities and lotions and potions, until Franze is a dejected little doll – almost literally, listless and lifeless. A teacher at school flags up “Cesca’s” (Franze’s) behaviour as being a “concern”, and threatens to involve child protection services. But how could it possibly be a concern? This is what little girls are supposed to be like.

9.    Why is their name their name? Conceived on holiday in France – and it’s generally considered an upper middle-class name in both countries

10.Do they have any nicknames? Francesca (anglicised), Franze (German diminutive), Cesca (English diminutive – her favourite), C (school friends)

11.Do they have a romantic interest? …I mean, yeah, that’s the point – but that would be telling. So instead, let’s talk about her only other long-term relationship, Julian, when they were both 17. A son of Father’s friend—and Father is friends with some of the best society has to offer, he’s told her himself—he is sure of himself and charismatic enough to make Cesca believe it as well. She thinks he loves her, though he only ever really loved chasing her, and she cries when he breaks up with her, not one week after they had had sex for the first time.

12.How do they cope with struggles? At work, depends on the struggle. She tries to judge carefully what the best course of action would be – either she’ll take some time away to let it simmer; or she’ll keep at it until she finds another way in. In her personal life, she avoids whatever she can get away with.

13.Do they have anyone they can lean on? More than she knows – she’s never tested it with anyone else other than Sarah. She isn’t always sure how her friends feel about her, not truly, especially after she is selected to go on the show without them.

14.How do they react to someone dying? Lot of numbness. She can seem insensitive or uncaring, but it takes a while for it to sink in.

15.Can you name 5 personality traits they have? Reserved, analytical, emotionally perceptive, avoidant, sensitive

16.How did they become a character? Because I was fed-up of the S3 MC being just different flavours of the same bold, confident person. I mean, it’s a CYOA game, there aren’t exactly many opportunities to feed in complex hopes/wants/fears, but even the S2 MC could choose to be “cool and mysterious” or “all out”.

17.Do they get along with others? She often chooses the path of least resistance – so often people think they get on with her better than they actually do, because she isn’t always honest with how she feels about things or people

18.What flaws do they have? Arrogant (mostly at work), naïve, perfectionist, practical, rigorous/over-zealous

19.How do they influence the story? A little too spoiler-y for now…

20.What do they look like? Honey blonde curls (usually pinned back), blue eyes, 5’ 3”. Quite pale, even after weeks in the Spanish sun – it would take a lot more time and effort for her to tan. Some freckles, but not many. Looks delicate at first blush, but is deceptively strong for her build. Bottom hourglass.

21.What are their hobbies? Collecting and listening to old vinyl records. Swimming and free diving.

22.What are their ticks? She blushes at the drop of a hat, and she bites her lip. She doesn’t intend it to come off as sexual or flirty (quite the opposite) but people don’t believe her.

23.Do they like children? If you ask her, she’ll laugh and tell you no, loudly. But Sarah has just had twin boys, and Cesca thinks that she might just die for them anyway, even if they don’t need her to.

24.How do they react to being around wild animals? Aquatic animals – loves it, very affectionate/serene (even when she went cage diving with sharks). Land animals? More of a mixed reaction, depending on how physically large/imposing they are.

25.If they were given the task to prank someone, who would it be, what would they do and would it work? She doesn’t so much prank people as plot to ruin their lives, particularly careers.

26.Do they have survival skills? Not really – her mother didn’t think it was necessary for girls, and she has thrown herself into science since.

27.Are they more book smart or street smart? More socially savvy than she gives herself credit for, but mostly book smart

28.How do they get out of a difficult situation? Depends on the situation. In a dangerous situation, she will call for help. In a socially awkward position, she’s like to use her looks to get out of the situation (e.g. sending someone off to get her a drink from the bar and then disappearing into the crowd). In a romantic situation, she’d use her intellect and talk through in excruciating detail why they’re not compatible.

29.Do they use their body, mind, personality or force to get what they want? See 28

30.What music do they enjoy? Older music, from the 1960s-1980s (90s at a push). She does like some more modern things, but usually if they’re either drawing inspiration from older trends or europop. Trashy Europop is a guilty pleasure of hers.

31.How do they overcome obstacles? Grit and determination, mostly.

32.When faced with a difficult decision do they get stronger or break? At work, stronger. Emotionally, she’s never fully broken down but she’s come close a few times.

33.Do they have any special powers? Just her brain.

34.How do they change throughout the story? She gets a little more assertive in articulating what she wants – but there will still be some room for growth

35.Do they have any friends? If so, are they close knit? Two close friends from school, who would do anything she asked of them (in terms of emotional support), but she is too scared to ask them. So their friendship appears more superficial than it actually is, in terms of what they do together

36.How is their family life? She only really sees her older sister. She avoids Alice (younger full-sister) like the plague and doesn’t make an effort to see her father’s new family. Will basically shut down if she has to see her mother. Christmas is not a happy time for her.

37.Are they likable? I certainly think so, but she’s my ambitious little alien baby so…

38.Are they the hero, or anti-hero? Depends on your viewpoint – certainly some of her “competitors” wouldn’t see her as the hero…!

39.Do they make questionable choices? I mean, we’ll see.

40.How do they become who they are? Through putting her head down and ploughing on. Ultimately running away from…

41.How was their childhood? …being made to feel like the only thing that mattered were her looks. Her mother tried to enter her for pageants and the like, and it was actually one of the terms of the divorce – her father wouldn’t give her mother any alimony if she made Cesca compete in anything like that.

42.Are they close with anyone who is going to screw them over? Again, we’ll see, don’t want to get into plot elements too much…!

43.How do they adapt to different situations? Do they adapt at all? She adapts because she has to, but she’s not particularly good at it.

44.How do they speak? (e.g. soft-spoken, hot-headed, vulgar) Usually soft-spoken, which makes a genuine laugh all the more startling.

45.Are they opposed to violence? There’s something about having been raised to be a good girl and knowing how people should behave in polite society which makes taboos like violence more exciting.

46.When is their birthday? 1st January 1997

47.Are they quick to judge? She tries not to, but she can make snap judgements based on appearances or actions that she finds hard to shake

48.Do they have anything they are trying to hide from others? How she doesn’t like being complimented on her looks, because they just wouldn’t understand.

49.Do they act different around different people? She is much more confident around her work colleagues, because she feels like she can show off her processes, rather than dumb herself down for people. She is very reserved around people she doesn’t know well and most of her family.

50.Do they enjoy the arts? Not a huge fan of reading, unless it’s science-related. Loves music, especially on vinyl. Likes films, usually action/thriller/horror.

51.Do they like science? Loves it. There’s a kind of beauty about it, about how it lets her order the world, and how she can see the world reflected in her microscope.

52.Are they more emotional or logical? I mean I don’t agree with the premise of the question, because it’s a false dichotomy, but she would say she’s more logical. Make of that what you will.

53.How do they deal with their emotions? Distraction tactics. Which means that there’s some stuff that she’s just…never dealt with. Massive issues with her mother.

54.How do they cope with sadness? She’s almost constantly sad, and she’s never really let the weight lift from her shoulders. It doesn’t bother her personally – it only really bothers people that care about her.

55.What is something they care about? She cares about the environment – she tries to be as sustainable as her budget allows, and she’s almost fanatical about saving water. (So she’s clean but she showers only as often as she needs to)

56.Would they die for anyone/anything? Probably her nephews.

57.What do they do when they are happy? Being happy looks very like being sad – she behaves much the same way, but she might fidget less or smile slightly.

58.How would they come across to other characters? E.g. messy, lazy, caring, childish Calm, shy (especially in the context of Love Island, since she doesn’t cope well with being flirted with overtly), clinical

59.Do they have a phrase they use over and over? No? Not yet, anyway

60.In a crowded room are they in the corners, sides or middle? She would gravitate to the sides, so that she can see everyone more clearly. If she’s with friends she trusts (and particularly if she’s had some alcohol) she’s not averse to being in the middle of the room, but it’s not her first option.

61.Are they comfortable being in a crowded room? She can find it overwhelming.

62.How do they relax? Listen to records, watch TV. She usually needs to relax by herself and “de-person” for a bit.

63.Have they ever harmed anyone and regretted it? Verbally or physically? She is usually the one to break off any budding relationships, usually before they become sexual. So for some of these early relationships, they were hurt because they thought she was really into them, but they were usually at an early enough stage that it was fairly minor emotional pain.

64.Do they like to dance? Not unless she’s drunk some alcohol. She doesn’t feel like her body moves very naturally, she needs her inhibitions to be much reduced before she even considers it.

65.How do they get around their environment? (vehicle use) She cycles a lot. She learned to drive when she was 17, but she’s a nervous driver and she doesn’t like it.

66.What about pet peeves? Loud chewers. It’s a sensory thing, she really doesn’t like it. Linked to this – people who talk with their mouths full constantly (she’ll allow it if you’re surprised or if you didn’t expect to be asked a question but if it’s your default? Get in the bin)

67.Do they have a disability? No.

68.How do they react to getting flowers? It depends on the person – if they’re someone who she would like to receive flowers from, it can make her month. If it’s from someone she wasn’t expecting, she can be a bit unsure of how to react – are they are thank you? Are they a proposition? She really doesn’t like receiving flowers from a “secret admirer” or something like that.

69.Would they ever wear a flower crown? Not usually, maybe for something like a wedding? And definitely not if she’s the only one.

70.Do they like themselves? Sometimes. She likes herself when she’s at work and successful. She usually likes herself when she spends time with friends. If she’s left on her own for too long she can start to doubt herself.

71.Who do they dislike? People who aren’t genuine/honest. People who focus on their appearance too much.

72.What is their motto? When she read “If I look back, I am lost.” in the first ASOIAF novel, she had to take a few minutes.

73.Do they have any markings on their body? A few minor scratches from falling off her bike a couple of times. Some freckles, more on her arms than her face.

74.Have they ever been abused? Physically, not at all. Emotionally? Most of her interactions with her mother and her sister are hostile in some way or another, and her father’s attitude can best be described as neglectful.

75.What is their biggest fear? Not to get too body horror about this, but her recurring nightmare is that she makes someone (and the person changes depending on what’s happening in her life) and they push/hit her and she’s hollow, or she smashes to the ground like porcelain.

76.What are their goals? She wants to finish her research into biodegradable plastic, and ideally start a second study to see if the same desired results can be achieved with fewer/cheaper resources.

77.How do they go about achieving their goals? She keeps her head down and ploughs on.

78.Do they have a fight or flight response? Yes, but she almost exclusively chooses to flee.

79.Is there someone in their life that they care about more than themselves? Her sister and her nephews. I don’t necessarily think that her having fewer people she cares about more than herself indicates that she’s selfish or overly arrogant. It’s just that her feelings are a little more subdued, so she doesn’t necessarily think about most people in that way.

80.How would they fare in a zombie apocalypse? Pretty badly, probably – unless she was in an area that hadn’t been affected yet, and she was able to work on a cure/”silver bullet”.

81.Do they have any tattoos? If so, are they significant? No, but she’s not averse to getting them. But if she gets one, she wants it to be significant, and she doesn’t want it to be linked to something that she might regret (like a relationship)

82.Are they good at mental math? Frighteningly so.

83.Do they get along with others? Again, she often takes the path of least resistance, so she seems to get along with lots of people, but she can get quite resentful.

84.Are they lazy? No

85.Are they self-motivated? Yes

86.How do they cope with anger? Short answer, she doesn’t. She was told from an early age that girls don’t get angry, and that means she struggles now to pinpoint when she is feeling angry. She often experiences other symptoms, like headaches or nausea, which she will treat instead of expressing herself.

87.Have they ever been in a situation where they were helpless? Physically, no – she’s been lucky. Emotionally – she felt helpless for a lot of her childhood, and then worries now about letting someone else make her feel helpless again.

88.Are they organized or messy? Pathologically organised – think Monica from Friends.

89.Can they remember a lot of information at once? In the right context, yes. At work, she’s like a machine, remembering formulae and compounds. In her personal life, she often gets overloaded. But she picks up on a lot, and it’s a sign that she likes you if she notices or remembers little details about you.

90.What is their occupation? Environmental scientist (specialising in chemistry, but her degree is in biochemistry).

91.Do other characters respect them? Yes, I think so. Especially at work, she’s seen as one of the key members of the team. In her personal life, it depends – she chooses friends carefully, and her friends respect her. Her father and siblings (aside from Alice) respect her more than she’s willing to notice. Her mother doesn’t, and Alice (younger full sister) loathes her.

92.If they were given minutes to live, what would they do? Who would they want to see and say? She would want to spend time with her sister. She wouldn’t want to talk about her feelings, but she would be more physically affectionate.

93.How do they deal with stress? Burying herself in work. Also, free diving is a good stress-reliever for her, because it requires so much of her concentration that she cannot afford to think about what is stressing her out.

94.Do they have a more submissive or dominant personality type? Depends – very dominant at work, less so among family and friends. I’ll cover NSFW stuff in a different post, but the short answer is, “it’s complicated”

95.Do they have a pet? No – she would like a cat, but she feels bad about leaving it in a London flat all day.

96.Do they have a stash of weapons? …no?

97.Where do they live? Who do they live with? She used to live in Putney with Ellie and Tina; now she lives alone in a small one-bedroom flat in Westminster that’s really meant for students.

98.How do they calm themselves down? Listening to music, staring at a wall. I’m a little worried that I’m making her sound crazy, but she can feel the tension leak out of her, and she can move on, at least in the short term.

99.Are they co-dependent? She makes an effort not to be – she is so affection- and touch-starved, though, that she is in danger of seeing another person as a source of self-worth.

100.                 Are they a day or night person? Day person – she wakes up very early (probably at about 5am), even when she doesn’t need to, and so she struggles with late nights. She isn’t usually smug about being an early bird, but she will let herself be a little more overt if there’s a particularly annoying Morgenmuffel…!

#cesca #litg fanfic: tmohb #tmohb headcanons #tmohb cesca #i Don't Like doing moodboard but skyler samuels is too pretty not to #i might revisit the moodboard at some point to make it prettier #maybe fix the colours or sth idk

[mautadite]

april book round up

20 books this month, which i didn’t see coming. i had more free time than expected, even with working from home and *makes vague hand gestures*. i still have a scribd membership so almost all these books came from there. also i’m putting some thought into reviewing on netgalley, so a couple from there as well.

american fairy tale - adriana herrera ⭐️⭐️⭐️ contemporary m/m romance in herrera’s dreamers series that follows immigrants and children of immigrants. this second book was fun, a kind of fairy tale romance as the title suggests. a rich guy/poor guy situation which isn’t usually my cup of tea, and the domineering, throw-money-at-every-situation personality of the rich guy got on my nerves, and i wasn’t totally sold on the way the conflict was resolved? but i enjoyed it. herrera’s books just have this down to earth vibe that i love.

unfit to print - k.j. charles ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ historical m/m romance. vikram, a young lawyer doing a lot of pro-bono work in the indian community in london, lost touch with his childhood friend gil years and years ago, is pretty sure he’s dead. so imagine his surprise when he comes across him in an unlikely occupation in an unlikely place. this was a charming, touching novella, really interesting historically, with a lot of cool titbits about porn in the 19th century. very sweet romance-wise.

american love story - adriana herrera ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ another dreamers novel, this one about a black professor and political activist and a white ADA who had a fling a while back and are now living in the same town. and same apartment building. lol. it did get into real world politics, which i know some people don’t like, but i honestly thought it well done? there were some great bits in this, good insight, one really harrowing moment, and just really great chemistry and character moments.

wanted, a gentleman - k.j. charles ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ more historical m/m romance from k.j. charles, which i always like, but this one i REALLY liked. which surprised me, because it’s a novella, and with novellas you never spend enough time with characters to really know them and their story and get attached? but that’s exactly what happened here. a well-to-do ex-slave and a poor gazette owner team up to untangle a young love affair. i seriously loved this, the characters are so good together. T__T

far from the world we know - harper bliss ⭐️⭐️ contemporary f/f romance about a young widow with a traumatic past who moves to a tiny new town to take care of her ailing aunt, and slowly falls into a relationship with the owner of the local newspaper. the premise was good, but this honestly felt like every single harper bliss book i’ve ever read, except it had nothing to recommend it. ask me why these characters even like each other. i can’t answer! 

the hound of justice - claire o'dell ⭐️⭐️ the second book in a series that re-imagines the sherlock holmes universe, except as near-future scifi set during a civil war, and both holmes and watson are black lesbians. i LOVED the first book (with a few caveats) and i’ve been looking forward to this one for so long... but it was disappointing. in terms of the writing, in terms of the direction the characters took, in terms of the plot... i have to wonder if i read the first one with rose-tinted glasses. :/ won’t be continuing this series.

the vintner's luck - elizabeth knox ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ *CLUTCHES MY CHEST WITH BOTH HANDS* in my goodreads review i said i didn’t know how to talk about this novel, and i still don’t. but i ADORED IT. so completely. in early 19th century france, the young son of a winegrower climbs a hill on his father’s property, and there, meets an angel. this is the story of them falling in love, but also about family and friendship, love and death. it’s written SO beautifully, and i’ll be thinking about it for a long time.

the family fang - kevin wilson ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ OOOF. i went into this knowing that several friends loved it so i knew i probably was gonna too and i DID. it’s about two siblings whose parents have been obsessed (since before the birth of their children, and until the present day where they’re both grown) with the idea of creating perfect art, and how the kids survive that. i actually didn’t enjoy reading many parts of this, but only because it was so well written, if that makes sense? like, it took me right in there with some of the shitty emotions and just made me feel. OOOF.

mrs. martin's incomparable adventure - courtney milan ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ a VERY sweet and charming historical f/f romance between a wealthy 74-yo widow and the cute young 69 (nice) yo landlady who comes to ask for her help. and then they have an adventure! i read it at a great time, because i was beginning to feel really bummed out about how people are trivialising and discounting the lives of older people in this crisis, and there was a really great message of like... life not being over until you SAY it’s over, living like you have 20 more years left. i loved it a lot.

his convenient husband - robin covington ⭐️⭐️ m/m contemporary fake marriage story, about a russian ballet dancer and the widowed american football player he marries to get citizenship. and then they fall in love for realsies. i love fake marriage as a trope, it can be so cute but this was very meh. if a book is gonna handle racism/homophobia in such a shallow way... i’d honestly prefer if the book just pretended those things don’t exist lol. :/ it’s also very very rushed and not well plotted at all. alas.

once ghosted, twice shy - alyssa cole ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ alyssa cole is like my good luck charm, because starting here, i read a bunch of lesbian romance novels that i really liked. this one is part of a series about reluctant royals, and follows the dapper assistant to a prince as she falls for a girl who seemingly ghosts her, and then meets her again months later. it’s a novella, and sort of relies on the fact that you would have met one of the characters in a previous book (which i did read). but i really really liked it, thought it was super cute, and the mcs had great chemistry. it was almost insta-love, which i really don’t like... but i still like this book so much. also best cover?? BEST COVER. 

who'd have thought - g. benson ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ now THIS is fake marriage done right!!! f/f contemporary romance about a struggling nurse who comes across an ad offering a chunk of money in exchange for one year of marriage... and the person on the offering end turns out to be the cold, stuck-up but brilliant doctor at the hospital where she works. this was the perfect slow burn, with great character writing, really good set-up, very believable arc as they slowly fall in love. it got me so emotional at times. definitely gonna make sure i read more from this author.

three reasons to say yes - jaime clevenger ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ f/f contemporary about two women who strike up a romance while on vacation in hawaii; one an overworked professional, one a doctor-mom of twin girls. another winner for me. just an extremely cute, very genuine butch/femme romance. it’s funny because i definitely nitpicked on a lot of things in this book, but i only remember the parts of if that made me so fond.

we set the dark on fire - tehlor kay meija ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ f/f YA fantasy in a world deeply divided by class. in the upper echelons of society, girls are trained either to become one of the two wives of upper class men; the primera and the segunda. the story follows a girl who has faked her social class becoming the primera of a very powerful man, getting involved with revolutionaries, and developing a surprising relationship with her husband’s segunda. really interesting world-building, some lovely writing, a really heart-felt core. i had my nitpicks with the plot but i still super enjoyed it, really want to read the second part.

a tale of two mommies  - vanita oelschlager ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ netgalley book. a cute children’s story about a kid with two moms. <3

crier's war - nina varela ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ more f/f fantasy YA, this one with the added benefit of being about something that i ADORE reading about in fiction: artificial life. in this fantasy world, automae were created, perfected, became aware of their place in society, fought a war for their autonomy... and won. the story opens up 50 years later, in a society ruled by robots, where humans are subjugated. it follows the current robot ruler’s created daughter and a young human rebel whose one goal is to kill said daughter. i loved this SO much, the enemies to lovers trope was peeeerfect. i wish the writing was tighter, and some plot elements could have used cleaning up, but i enjoyed this so much. the ROMANCE especially was... gah! <3 the second book comes out soon, but i want it like, now.

second dad summer - benjamin klas ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ another netgalley book. a fun and charming primary/middle school story about a kid spending the summer with his father, and his father’s new boyfriend, who he doesn’t quite get along with. over the summer he makes new friends, nurtures some plants, learns some lessons. i thought this was well-written, touching, and does a pretty good job of telling kids about queer stuff. 

tempting fate - sloane kennedy ⭐️⭐️ contemporary m/m novella (short story honestly) about two ranch hands realising their feelings for one another. it was fine, i read it because i was in the mood for a quick HEA and i got that, but it was also kinda flat and there were several kinda irksome things about it. i reeeeeally don’t like overly possessive characters, lol.

all the reasons i need - jaime clevenger ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ more contemporary f/f romance, this one about long time friends who have been in love for ages, slowly coming to a place where they can finally admit their feelings and try to embark upon a relationship. again, while on vacation! this was a lot more sombre than the previous clevenger book, as it deals with past abuse and eating disorders. but i also found the writing to be better in general, and the relationship between the two women was just... so great. the writing definitely isn’t pulitzer prize-winning or anything, but there are so few good butch/femme books out there, i ate this up, and will def. be reading more from this author.

interpreter of maladies - jhumpa lahiri ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ speaking of pulitzer prize-winning authors... i’ve had this author and this book specifically at the back of my mind since secondary school; one of my literature teachers really loved it and would bring it up all the time. i really enjoyed it! it’s a collection of stories about the indian diaspora in america, as well as life on the subcontinent. i really like her writing (very simple, very precise, but very evocative) and there were a few really striking stories.

and that’s it for april. look at me, actually writing this entry on time, lol. for may i’m just gonna... keep reading whatever catches my eye on scribd i guess. i remember vaguely saying that by this time of the year i would have moved on to reading the books on my physical bookshelf that i haven’t gotten to yet but... i go where the wind takes me etc. currently reading silver moon, about women who turn into werewolves once they hit menopause? absolutely metal.

#book talk #long post

[justanaverageslytherinwitch]

Who would you date? since we probably cant date felix

OooOOOoooOoOhhHhHhhh this question gives me so much anxiety you don’t even know!!

First off, anon, you just HAD to start by reminding me that I probably can’t date my beloved Felix, so gimme a moment while I go cry in the corner about it.

I… honestly have no idea who I would date. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I really like lists though, so I’mma make a list of my feelings:

1) Rowan: I’m not a fan of the “date my bestie” trope. Also I still low key want Rowan to be R-related, so it seems a little weird to wanna date them even though at this point it’s probably -72% gonna happen.2) Ben: I dunno if I’ve made this clear yet, but my MC is me. And me and Ben would not work out because I kindasortarelatealittletoomuchtobenbutidon’twannatalkaboutitthismayormaynotbewhyiteasehimsomuch3) Penny: of course I want to date Penny, why do you even gotta ask??4) Bill is my first hphm love, so like, yes I gotta date him. But also I’m afraid of rejection and I know he’s gonna marry Fleur and I kinda feel weird about it??5) Tonks: I already hardcore ship her with Tulip and honestly MC is just not at their level, it wouldn’t work out6) Tulip: seriously. I can’t let MC attempt to get between this femme fatale duo, they are too perfect for each other7) Barnaby: I 1000% would date the crap out of Barnaby. He’s such a freaking sweetheart he gives me cavities for days I love this boy what a cinnamon roll8) Andre: if I had to guess, I would venture that Andre probably doesn’t wanna date me, but just in case, WE WOULD TOTALLY FLIPPIN SLAY TOGETHER I mean with Andre’s sense of style and Bella’s no-nonsense attitude, those two could really rule the school I mean it9) Charlie: I’m so on board with the jealous Charlie that @wispila’s blessed us with and honestly I feel like even the dev team wants us to ship Charlie and MC together so who am I to go against fate

This doesn’t really answer the question, does it??

#hogwarts mystery #hphm #asks #dating #how can i pick just one?? #i love them all

[eternalravendreamer]

Sleep-deprived Shakespeare [Unfinished WIP]

[Help I can’t stop writing Lance-centric stuff]

[This was made like a long-ass time ago lmao]

The past week had run the Paladins ragged. Two Galra fleets, one prison planet, and one work camp planet, plus training and repairs. Their day was only now ending, at the equivalent of 3 AM. Thankfully Allura had agreed to let them have the next day or two off, maybe even give them each some GAC to spend at a space mall.

Unfortunately, everyone was already showing signs of sleep deprivation, drastically changing their personalities. A sleepy Keith was a grumpy yet clingy Keith, and he was whining about wishing he had his stuffed hippo “Dinosaur Fruit-Loop” with him. Sleepy Shiro was easily irritated, and also seemed to see things if you didn’t keep him present. PTS is a bitch. Sleepy Pidge was super cranky, and actually tried to bite Coran when he attempted to stop their glasses from falling off their face. Coran doubted they would remember in the “morning”. Sleepy Hunk was quiet, too quiet. And Lance...

Oh no. Allura had been so busy calming Shiro that Lance had completely disappeared, “Coran, where did Lance go?”

“Oh quiznak! He must have wandered off while I was being hugged by Keith. Okay Paladins, you all can go to bed once we scan to make sure none of you are injured. That includes Lance...wherever he’s sleepwalked off to.” The exhausted Paladins groaned in protest, and Shiro begrudgingly grabbed Pidge in a football-carry and set off to look for Lance.

“Ugh, I hate how I get when I’m tired. Where the hell is Lance, I need sleep already.”

“Lance gets weird when he’s tired.” Hunk spoke up out of nowhere, scaring the shit out of everyone, especially Shiro.

“What do you mean, Hunk?”

“He thinks a lot. Usually about Shakespeare.” Allura and Coran looked at each-other, then back to Hunk.

“Shakespeare...? What is a Shakespeare?”

“Shakespeare was a really famous playwright centuries and centuries ago on Earth. Lance was what we call a theater kid, or a kid who just really loves and has a knack for acting and performing. A natural entertainer. So of course Lance read Shakespeare. Even performed in some junior productions. But one night we were pulling an all-night study session for our Garrison entrance exams. It was, like, 2 AM and we were both super quiet and all the sudden Lance just grabs my arm and says the ‘To Be or not to Be’ monologue from Hamlet was just Hamlet asking a skull whether or not he should kill himself. Then he immediately passed out and I screamed because I thought he got possessed and died or some shit.”

“...okay, we really need to find Lance. That sounds...disturbing.”

“Finally, there you are. Lance, we need to scan you for injuries before you can sleep. Can you come back to the med bay with us?”

“D’you know Macbeth?”

“Mac...beth? Like the play? The cursed one?”

“It’s only cursed if you say the name in a theater. But yeah, that one. So people see the fact that it’s a tragedy and they go ‘yeah, okay, people die in that one, and Macbeth goes from being a regular dude to a homicidal maniac, sure, tragedy’, but Lady Macbeth --- she’s one of the tragic characters too,” Allura tried to cut him off, but with a sloppy wave of him arm Lance continued, “Y’see, Lady Mc B. starts off as this super cool, dark femme fatale and she’s the evil one, the brains of the scheme to make her hubby the king. She even has a monologue that’s just her totally roasting him and saying he’s too chicken to commit high treason and murder.

But then after the timeskip, when Macbeth has become this merciless evil tyrant-king, she’s totally changed, she’s terrified of him, cries all the time, and looks super unhealthy. She’s a prisoner in her own home and she thinks it’s all her own fault. That’s like, super fucking tragic. Also, she’s totally not straight. No way. She’s a sapphic icon and I support her Slytherin lifestyle 100%.”

“Lance, please, it’s 3 AM. Space 3 AM.”

“Oh...yeah, it is,” Lance stared off into space (literally) again, “I wonder what it would’ve been like if Midsummer Night’s Dream happened in space.”

#unfinished #vld #vld lance #can you tell i'm an english minor #voltron legendary defender #vld canon? don't know her sounds like a bitch

[lunarrumor]

yoooo do you wanna tell me about the fantasy story?? i love fantasy stories, one of my favorite genres

ahhhhh yes i do !!

i dont know if you wanted me to talk more abt the plot but basically this takes place on a small continent where most people have telekinesis-like abilites (but the government sucks and they banned these abilites to keep the power in their own families)

they are also v religious, so the main character decides to follow an old legend about a means of communication the gods left behind to prove that the current rulers are not doing their job (which is to uphold the values of the gods) by going straight to the source

okay dhfbieuwgf now for the characters

first we have valora

- the main character

- realized the government was fucked and decided to do smth abt it

- by 'do smth abt it' i mean steal her parents' boat and follow a questionable legend

- she's very determined, but that sometimes results in impulsive behavior

- a history nerd, which she gets from her cool uncle (who is basically the dad of their group bc most of them have family problems)

- the most powerful of the group

- fights w a dagger

- a useless lesbian

- in love with her best friend but she doesn't know it

- sucks at emotions

- very bad at making friends but people kinda flock to her bc they think she's cool anyway (she is not)

- socially awkward + very sarcastic so she comes off as a little cold and closed-off

- one of those people with a strong moral code that doesn't always align with the law

then there's larinn

- val's best friend

- doesn't have any powers but she's great at using a sword

- literal sunshine everybody loves her

- saw her bsf about to do some crazy shit and decided to join

- mostly optimistic but also has to be the voice of reason when val is impulsive

- has a shitty family, so she spent most of her life at val's house w her family (which is why they're so close)

- femme lesbian

- is in love with her bsf and does know it

- also realizes val is shit at emotions so tries to drop as many hints as possible without overstepping their friendship (it doesn't work)

the rest of the characters are picked up along their journey (put in order of when they join the crew)

dayne

- the son of one of the current rulers, but doesn't live with him (aka he has daddy issues)

- not very powerful, so he kinda avoids using his abilities (also bc he doesn't think it's fair that he could use them without facing any consequences bc of his dad)

- he also does not know how to fight, but he's the strongest of the group

- runs into battles regardless

- loves giving nicknames

- dumb bisexual

- flirts with everyone and falls in love easily

- himbo energy (think gold of heart dumb of ass)

- has ocd and adhd bc im projecting <3 and we need more casual nd representation

- really good at sketching

- kinda doesn't know what's going on but wants to help anyways bc he knows personally how much the government sucks

- also knows how to bake bc he lives with his grandma wileen and helps out at her bakery

- is really good with kids bc he has a four yr old sister

iliana

- a distinguished bisexual

- very powerful + great at hand to hand combat

- knows a lot of cool things abt her powers bc of her mom + different ways of manipulating energy practiced in her country

- speaking of, her mom was arrested for using her abilities

- she decides to help them bc she was already on her way to bust her mom out, and might as well topple the government in the process

- self proclaimed matchmaker

- very outgoing, she's one of those people you immediately feel like you could tell anything

- also very flirty (people think her and dayne like each other bc they're always flirting, but they're just very close)

aimes

- also called ettie (bc of his first name ettore)

- mom of the group

- very powerful

- he's italian and he cooks for everyone

- learned to cook bc he works at his family's restaurant

- met val + dayne bc they were arguing in said restaurant about their plans and he was like " ??? if y'all are gonna commit treason maybe don't be so loud abt it "

- takes care of iliana and dayne when they're being dumb

- knows how to fight but usually avoids it

noren

- aimes' twin sister

- iliana's best friend

- made her with the intent of 'she's gonna die to give the mcs some trauma' but then got attached

- wasn't supposed to be an mc but i accidentally developed her character a lot

- kinda powerful but doesn't really use her abilities much

- can fight though bc of sheer determination to kick some ass

- likes to paint (her and dayne usually go up to the deck and draw together)

this was so long im sorry jfchgrihvbbh but you didn't ask abt anything specific so,,, i had free rein to just gush abt them

#my ocs #forest rants #did any of this make sense ? #idk but have it #so sorry for this bestie but thank you i wanted to talk abt them very badly

[raguna-blade]

Getting Closer to actually daily rambling

So, I am, slowly, quite slowly, achingly slowly, working my way to doing a big ole analysis of Persona 5 Because that’s the exact kind of nerd I am but one thing has kind of stuck out to me in Persona 5 as a weird problem.

Like, in a game that starts out with a PRETTY FUCKING DIRE stance on sexualization of young women, what the fuck is going on with Ann?

LIke, it’s weird that the game starts off so strong on that front, and then from that point forward in regards to Ann drops the ball like a lead weight into a blackhole.

Seriously, the statement is made rather objectively and clearly, Don’t Sexualize the young lady and then...proceeds to kind of do that the entire game right? Unless I’m misremembering things rather badly which is quite possible.

And I got a little mini essay thing of notes hidden away elsewhere right now looking at it, but this one thought came to mind semi recently and well...

Ok, let’s talk about themes in the persona games, at least in the last three mainline ones alright? And specifically, we’re gonna talk about said themes in relation to Shadows which are of varying levels of importance throughout the series. Honestly, I should one day do the first couple of games to get a full picture of it but...

Still before we go further, Quick definition. Fans will know, unfan’s won’t, but either way I want to be clear of the definition I’m rolling with here. What the flip fuck is a Shadow? In series, a Shadow is basically an embodiment of well...You. It’s all the stuff you repress about yourself, and in series that’s pretty universally negative.

Thing is though, the thing about that, Shadows in Jungian Psych aren’t. As I understand it anyway, they’re not inherently negative. Shadows are basically just whatever you repress about yourself, good or bad. It’s whatever you refuse to acknowledge, either because of trauma, danger, ignorance, actual refusal, whatever. Anything and everything about yourself that you don’t ever want to deal with and you shove off into the negative space of your mind halls so you don’t have to deal with it ever again becomes a part of the Shadow.

Got it? Cool.

Now themes though. Persona 3 has a pretty cut and dry theme (more or less, and drawing from rather old memories at this point) involving Death, Mortality, and the fact that you are absolutely positively going to kick the fucking bucket one day so you better live up and be the best you you possibly can be of yourself. You see it in all of the Persona’s and how they evolve going through the game’s story line. Inevitably, as they have to deal with things that they’ve struggled with in a unvarnished and straightforward way, they have to integrate these new truths into themselves and basically become better people, more whole. And in doing so, their persona’s grow up and become stronger.

Now as far as shadows go, they never really make an appearance in the game formally (in the sense of specific shadows relevant to the characters themselves. You spend the entire game putting foot to shadowy ass, much to your detriment) EXCEPT FOR, Strega and those who use the drugs to control their personas. Which is weird, because they’re still personas right? Except that a Persona is EXPLICITLY a tamed shadow, yourself put under your control more or less, so for Strega and the other drug users, They haven’t actually done the proper actualization that the rest of SEES and them do to get their persona’s under their control. They haven’t exactly confronted themselves and overcome it, thus why, occasionally, their Persona Flip out and try to kill them because YOU STILL HAVEN’T GOTTEN THIS SHIT UNDER CONTROL YOU NINNIES.

Make sense? Cool, we move forward to 4.

Four has a rather explicit and subtle theme about reaching out to the truth and cutting through ignorance to find the heart of things, and as regards shadows and self, acknowledging your true self. The more you do it, the stronger your persona becomes etc etc, but unique here is that everyone (and I include MC here because I am DAMN certain that Teddie is his castoff shadow but that’s a whole other story) literally confronts their shadows before making them into their personas, and what we see universally is that their shadows are...Kind of raging assholes yes, but also none of them are exactly you know...EVIL. Kind of dickish, and playing up fears and such, but that’s kind of what happens when you don’t deal with your shadow. Let it fester and you start getting weird neuroses about things and start tearing yourself up about such minor things as you know, hating the town you live in, the distinct possibility that you’re nowhere near as straight as you thought you were, the disquieting thought that you’re basically whoring yourself out to make a living, or that you’ve got a distinct and actual problem with Gender In Regards to your desired profession and/or yourself.

You know. Minor Teen things.

But Inevitably, you confront yourself, you confront the situation, you integrate, and your shadow becomes your persona. Cool Story.

Now I’m going to pause here and mention something that only explicitly becomes a thing here in four and that is that Shadows are shown universally to have bright yellow GLEAMING eyes, and that’s going to become SILLY important in about 20 seconds.

SO WE MOVE ON TO PERSONA 5, with it’s themes of rebellion and freedom, and being your own authentic self all times everytime, anytime. Symbolized, rather explicitly, by the outfits each and every one of the Phantom Thieves wear when they enter a Palace.

Which is cool, but I hear you asking, but what of the shadows? WHAT OF THE SHADOWS MAN.

Where the fuck are they? I mean, yeah their persona but...

Hey.

Hey buddy.

You remember every single time the characters transform for the first time their eyes turn into that gleaming yellow color in their eye spaces?

Why it’s almost like they’re...Almost like they’re becoming their shadows?

Why yes, that is exactly what I think is happening here, because TO A MAN, every shadow summon we see has them saying some frankly OMINOUS SHIT. Like...One second let me just rip from the SMT Wiki right quick.

Listen to this shit Arsene Says when he’s summoned.

"What's the matter...? Are you simply going to watch? Are you forsaking him to save yourself? Death awaits him if you do nothing. Was your previous decision a mistake then? Very well...I have heeded your resolve. Vow to me. I am thou, thou art I...Thou who art willing to perform all sacrilegious acts for thine own justice! Call upon my name, and release thy rage! Show the strength of thy will to ascertain all on thine own, though thou be chained to Hell itself!" 

Now if Persona Are Shadows, an established fact in canon, the fact Arsene is saying this to Akira is KIND OF FUCKING CONCERNING, and as I realized like yesterday pretty explicitly foreshadows the bad end. Because well...Do what I want for my own justice? yeah no way that can go wrong it’s not like anyone else in the game is doing that no sirree.

But this is about Ann right? And her frankly kind of weird sexualization that’s going on throughout the game?

What’s Carmen Got to say?

"My... It's taken far too long. Tell me... Who is going to avenge her if you don't? Forgiving him was never the option... Such is the scream of the other you that dwells within... I am thou, thou art I... We can finally forge a contract... There you go... Nothing can be solved by restraining yourself. Understand? Then I'll gladly lend you my strength."

That’s...Actually relatively tame. Stop restraining yourself. Uh...ok. Guess that has nothing to-

WAIT A FUCKING SECOND WHO’S CARMEN?

Hey now, short story, Carmen is the heroine of the titular play, and she is a woman who is rather handily in control of her sexuality even when it ends up destroying her (admittedly, because two idiots couldn’t stop being you know...dumb. But anyway). Critical thing though, Carmen is basically a femme fatale, and as Ann says in her Social Link, those were always the kinds of characters that she wanted to be like. Those sexy, kind of devilish lady villains from kids cartoons and you know what, that’s pretty cool. That’s a level of absolute self confidence and such that cannot be denied I think so fair’s fair.

But uh...Have...have any of you seen Ann seduce anyone in the game? She’s....She’s really fucking bad at it guys. She’s actually, consistently awful at it. And yet, Ann is also consistently, continually, stated and shown to be the hot one of the group, such as it goes.

Which, fine, but still...Why the ball dro-

Have you seen her social link? The one where she more or less throughout finds that things she’s been doing on automatic require real genuine effort more than what she was doing? Like say, consistent diet and exercise, skin care, etc etc etc if she wants to be a model? Things she was absolutely not doing? Things she was, in fact, kind of really stunningly, amazingly ignorant of?

I...I almost feel...I almost feel like there’s a parallel here, something something...

Well, Their Shadowverse costumes are explicitly their idea of rebellion, and transforming into it, at least for the first time, has them apparently transforming however briefly into their shadows.

Which says to me, that functionally she, and the rest of the Phantom Thieves, are TRYING ON their shadows. That is to say, they are actively, knowingly, willingly embracing their Shadow Selves, in opposition to the previous groups who more or less suborn the shit out of their less repressed halves. And why wouldn’t they?

I didn’t bring up themes for no reason you know, ramble though this is. The Story is obssessed with being free, breaking the chains that bind you, and outright rebellion. How could they POSSIBLY keep on theme with that, if the first thing that happens upon awakening your persona you shove your shadow in a box and never talk about it again because Hey Y’all, it’s under control, no need to deal with that den of horrors and things I don’t want to think about.

Ann is, effectively, just as everyone else is, trying to directly integrate her shadow self into her. And for her, that involves sexuality rather explicitly. Which is probably even more of a problem for her (for all that it’s not explicitly brought up again ever by anyone else in the game because you know...Rape/Sexual Assault, whether threatened or actual is kind of stressing? Especially if it’s by someone who’s an authority figure and you were supposed to respect and was supposed to protect you? Just...Yeah.)

I mean I’m not an expert by any means, but holy fuck would I think repressing thoughts of myself being sexual in any way shape or form especially when I really wasn’t trying to be and up until that point wasn’t consciously aware of how I was would be absolutely understandable if not justified especially given proximity to the event.

But with that said, She, and the rest of the cast for all of their less than stellar attributes as expressed by their outfits and persona, are actively trying on those parts of themselves, rather explicitly being the version of themselves that they don’t feel they are, or don’t exactly want to be, and have hidden away for one reason or another.

And for Ann, that’s well...being a sexual person. Which notably, no one else at all seems to struggle with save perhaps Makoto but that is arguably a different story (her blanket lack of understanding of love does lean towards inexperience in relationships, which I absolutely get, but on the other hand, her first action upon awakening is to put on a full leather outfit, call herself queen, and immediately mount and ride her [female who pretended to be male] persona out of the mind bank ufo of a dude who kind of threatened making her with prostitution(not strictly in that order), not to mention that her Arcana Card has a lady checking out a questionably clothed model but uh...It’s a different sexual issue shall we say? Although, now that I think about it, does raise some curious questions if my Makoto is the other actual protag thing ever bears fruit.)

Now mind, this doesn’t exactly excuse the camera antics involved, that’s something else entirely, but otherwise, it’s actually pretty consistent from what I recall of it all, So you know...There’s that.

Still mostly a ramble, as there’s a lot missing here but still.

Gotta get into the habit if I’m gonna make a right and proper daily ramble yah?

#Persona 5 #ann takamaki #Shadows #CONFRONTING YOUR TRUE SELF #Your not me! #Wait Shit maybe you are? #Ramblings #Persona 4 #Persona 3 #Thematic Analysis(Lite)