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ljxlj48 · 2 years

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My duty, as princess

chapter 02

Lee Jeno x fem reader

Preview, 01, 02

Genre: arranged marriage au!

Warnings: explicit language

Word Count: 5.7K

Authors Note: I feel like this chapter is kind of confusing so my bad for that. Also I hope there’s someone that actually enjoys this story because idk what I’m really doing lol

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Finally, you laid in your bed, you finished getting the Na family settled. There was Lord Na, and his wife Lady Na. The lord was the brother of the queen, their parents also came. They insisted you call them grandfather Na and grandmother Na, instead of their names. Then Lord Na’s son, Na Jaemin.

When escorting the Na family to their own personal chambers, there was a few minutes. A few minutes alone with the infamous Na Jaemin. The tales of Na Jaemin have made it around the palace more than once. As soon as the maids heard about the early arrival of the Na family, the talk was nonstop.

According to Fei and Mei, Na Jaemin was a ‘whore,’ a ‘flirt,’ the ultimate playboy. The paparazzi of Northcy would picture Jaemin with a different girl. There’s even the rumor that Jaemin doesn’t have a preference. When you saw him, his smile, the way he walked, how he talked, you understood. Jaemin always had his head tilted a little to the right, whenever you spoke, he made direct eye contact. It was captivating, memorizing, it made sense why men and women praised the ground he walked on.

“You’re very beautiful, Princess,” Jaemin said to you when you escorted him to his chambers, “my cousin is a lucky man.”

Those are the words that you thought about as you slept.

Luncheon with grandmother Na, Lady Na, and the Queen, that is where you sat at the moment. The middle of the palace’s private garden, wearing a peach tea length satin dress, across from Lady Na. She wore a shin length straight skirt, that was a lavender color, a simple off-white straight neck lined blouse, tucked into her skirt. She kept her head down during the majority of the luncheon, refusing to look the Queen directly in the eye. The queen never addressed Lady Na either, rather speaking to Grandmother Na.

“Jaeyeon, this isn’t your wedding, allow the girl to speak,” Grandmother Na spoke in a scolding tone, looking at her daughter disapprovingly.

“It’s quite alright grandmother Na,” you started off, unsure what else to say. You preferred not to talk about the wedding at all, still hoping for a way out of this union. If by some miracle there was a way you could deny this.

“Well, it is your wedding after all, you do have a say in this right?” Grandmother Na asked you, almost daring to say the truth.

“Of course, Grandmother Na,” is what you opted to say, instead of ‘Of course not, if I had any say, this wouldn’t be happening, if I had a say I would not be here, if I had a say this would never have even been an option.’ I am not allowed a say; is what you thought to yourself.

The queen had seemed to pick up on your discomfort of the topic, opting to change it. “How is home, mother?” The Queen looked to her mother with what appeared to be hopeful eyes.

“Home is just alright, Jennie has started a charity, the first event will take place just before the new year,” Grandmother Na said looking at Lady Na, her head remained lowered though.

“This is the first I am hearing about this, I hope you didn’t plan to not invite me,” the Queen said, her voice sounding condescending as ever. It was like Queen Jaeyeon was becoming a different person before your eyes.

“Of course, you’re invited your majesty, I would never purposely leave you out,” Lady Na spoke, her eyes not meeting the queen’s. It was obvious Queen Jaeyeon didn’t like her sister-in-law.

“By my name, must you act so high and mighty, Na Jaeyeon,” Grandmother Na spoke out, the same scolding tone returning just much worse this time around. “Jennie has done nothing but try to earn your approval, and nothing she ever does seems to meet the criteria. Jennie was your lady-in-waiting for your wedding, she didn’t ask for anything during her wedding, she waited until after it was confirmed that you were pregnant to get pregnant, she has continued to do good work, while taking care of me and your father, as well as making your brother happy. The least you can do is pretend to like her for one lunch.” Grandmother Na slammed her hands down on the table looking at her daughter furiously.

After Grandmother Na finished her rant, the Queen was red in the face, the anger clearly evident. Lady Na was the first to speak, after an overly extended amount of silence, “If you don’t mind, I shall excuse myself.”

“No, we don’t mind,” Grandmother Na huffed out, her eyes still trained on Queen Jaeyeon, “my dear princess (y/n), please escort Lady Na back to her chambers,” Grandmother Na spoke now looking at you softly.

“Of course.”

You and Lady Na walked towards the grand staircase, up to the second level, the majority of the bedrooms remained on that level. Lady Na kept her eyes trained on the floor, almost like a maid would. The outfit she wore was too simple to be considered classy, it was too commoner like. Her hands looked rough, like a laborer’s hands. Her skin seemed aged, too dry in certain areas, and littered with sun spots. It was all too clear, Lady Na didn’t come from a prominent family, she was a civilian.

“I was a maid,” Lady Na spoke almost as if she could hear the revelation you made in your mind. “I worked for the Na family, I arrived at their house when I was 14. My parents died in an accident, there was no money set aside for me, and the job of a maid comes with housing as well as food. When I went to work, Joon was only 16, and I didn’t try to weasel my way into a better life. I was content being a maid, I certainly wasn’t overjoyed with the idea of working, cleaning up after two spoiled brats, but I made peace with it. I had a job, a way of making money, I had a place to sleep and I had food, I was content. Me and Joon didn’t start getting close, until after Jaeyeon was engaged to the crown prince at the time. She left home and Joon didn’t have his best friend, he turned to the maid that was there from before. I didn’t seduce him to buy a ticket to an easy life, I love every part of my husband and no matter what Jaeyeon tells you. Even if Joon had nothing, I would still love him.” Lady Na looked at you, she was tired, tired of trying to please an unpleasable woman, you feared you would become Lady Na. Will you become tired of trying to please Queen Jaeyeon?

By the time Lady Na finished you were already outside of her chamber doors. “I apologize for my outburst, you didn’t deserve that,” she spoke to you, before you could even think of a response, she was already shutting the door. Leaving you to your thoughts, a maid has married the brother of the queen, that must’ve made quite the headline for the papers and evening news.

Slowly make your way to your bedroom, it seemed as if now you never saw Fei or Mei. The two of them often moved in silence, seemingly coming out of the shadows when you needed them. They were nearby though, you could feel their presence, it was close. As you neared, it looked as if someone was waiting by your door. It most definitely wasn’t your two guards, it seemed like even Chan and Hyunjin got busy, leaving you more lonely than ever in a palace full of people.

It was Jaemin, Jaemin stood outside of your doors, hands behind his back looking towards the ceiling. “Something interesting up there?” you asked standing next to Jaemin now looking at the ceiling.

“Ah princess, I was wondering if I could have a private word with you?” Jaemin asked, looking at you, with the head tilt and direct eye contact.

“What would you like to discuss?”

“Privately please,” Jaemin said, gesturing towards your doors. He wore white tight pants, with black boots that went over his pants, and a long sleeved button up tucked in. A pair of black gloves in one hand, he must’ve just finished a horse ride. ‘Me and Jaemin are racing tomorrow morning,’ that’s what Jeno said the night before at dinner.

“Very well”

Jaemin and you sat at the table placed in front of the large window. Fei had brought in a fresh brewed tea, shortly after she saw you entered your room, you knew they were close, hiding in the shadows, waiting for you to call them out. Jaemin sipped his tea admiring the view of the courtyard, his head tilting side to side often.

“Do you want to marry Jeno?” Jaemin blurted out, now looking at you. No, Jaemin’s gaze was reaching deeper, he wasn’t looking at you, but looking into you, into your soul, your heart of hearts. “I am asking you as the cousin of your fiance, and I want you to answer me as my cousin’s fiance. Not Princess (y/n) of the Modia Kingdom, but just (y/n).”

Jaemin was asking you, the person you, not the princess you, he was asking just you. He was asking you if you wanted to marry Jeno. The answer was quite simple without the titles. “No, I do not want to marry Jeno.”

“Alright, I’ll make the arrangements,” Jaemin said, getting up from his seat making his way out of your chambers.

“Excuse me? Arrangements? What are you talking about?” You asked as you stood to follow Jaemin.

“My cousin doesn’t want to be married and neither do you, so I will make arrangements to get you out of this palace and on a flight back home in one week. We shall be in contact, Princess.” Jaemin said exiting the room leaving you in utter shock. Can Jaemin possibly do that? Have you, on a plane back home in a week? I mean you could get yourself on a plane back home, it’s not like anyone was holding you hostage.

Before the arrival of the Na Family days bled into each other, meetings always seemed to overlap. Now that the Na family was here it seemed as if the days dragged on longer and longer. Your lunchtime was always with a new different person, of the Na family.

Lunch with grandmother Na, was filled with stories from Jeno and Jaemin's childhood, apparently those two were thick as thieves. Always running around the palace pulling absurd pranks and just causing trouble, and Haechan played with them often.

Lunch with Lady Na, was more filled with advice on what to do after the wedding. How to act, talk, walk, dress around the family. You felt pity for Lady Na, she never lived up to the expectations, and all she wanted was to feel like she belonged to the family.

Grandfather Na, told stories of his time in the war. Lunch with him was the most unbearable. He spoke of his triumphs, the battles he won, the people he’s killed. Your people, the men and women you sworn to protect, the people that willingly gave their life to defend. By the time lunch was over with Grandfather Na, you felt sick to your stomach, tears flowed freely down your face. You even refused to go down for dinner, unable to sit and dine with that man. Rumor has it grandmother Na gave scolding to him, but the words were already spoken.

Lunch with Jaemin was filled with the plan to get you out of the country. You were to leave the palace at midnight, and drive to a private airstrip, owned by Lord Huang, whom apparently owed Jaemin a favored. There you would board a private plane that will fly to Teraha. In Teraha, you would spend a year traveling across the country eventually crossing the border into Modia. By that time the union between you and Jeno will have been dissolved and you would no longer be “missing.”

“It’s perfect Princess, you would have been missing from Northcy for an entire year, there’s no way they would hold you to a year old union. And if you’re unsure, you could always extend your missing period,” Jaemin said, certain his plan would work, “if I didn’t believe in this plan myself I wouldn’t have suggested it, your highness.”

“Are you sure Jaemin?”

“Of course I am Princess. The biggest issue isn’t what to do when you left the country, it’s how to leave the country unseen. Luckily for you, I can provide passage out of the country undetected.”

Jaemin’s plan left you wondering, could you really escape? Leave this unwanted marriage? Have freedom? No one said you had to be “found,” you could pull out enough cash and exchange it for Teraha currency, to at least start a life there. There’s no doubt that as soon as you left Northcy, you could survive and not have to go back.

The day finally came. That morning, after Fei and Mei helped you dress, you made your way to breakfast with Lady Na, Grandmother Na, and the Queen. There was more talk of wedding arrangements and guest seating. The conversation seemingly dwelling on and on, you weren’t taking much interest in it.

You stared at Lady Na, she was perfect in every way. The private luncheon with her, she acted as one should, she was respectful when speaking about every member of the family, she never said anything outrageous and chose all her words carefully. Even here at breakfast, she acted merely perfectly, her eyes trained downward, not to make direct contact with anyone unless warranted, she didn’t speak unless spoken to, you wouldn’t even notice she was here. You wondered, is this how it would be as Jeno’s wife? Would I be expected to be perfect? You thought and Jaemin’s plans became insatiably tempting. The idea of running far far away, living freely.

You had to tell Chan, tell him of your plans. Tell him where to meet you. Of course you both couldn’t disappear together, they would know if you did. You would go, run away and live freely. Then after setting up a life, you would write to Chan, under a name only he would know. He would join you and you guys would be free, free to live happily ever after. It seemed all too simple, too easy.

Finally the sun set, and you were back in your private chambers. You sent Mei and Fei away for the night already. You slipped a note to Chan, explaining you needed him for a midnight escapade. Chan was to meet you at the back garage of the palace, at exactly 10 to midnight.

You grabbed a leather duffel bag out of the closet, throwing in a week’s worth of clothes inside. Along with certain necessities needed. Changing out of pajamas, into something warmer and more appropriate for a midnight escape.

Earlier in the day Jaemin slipped a note into your chambers explaining the route to the airstrip. Note in one hand and bag in the other you made your way down to the garage, and already there Chan was. He was in casual clothing, a pair of dark blue jeans, a regular hoodie with a leather jacket thrown over.

“What is this midnight escapade, you have me going on?” He asked, looking you up and down.

“I’ll explain, first get in”

The two of you got in the car, you driving and him riding passenger. Chan thought back to summer nights in Modia, you were restless some nights. So Chan would sneak you out of the palace and take you to car meets that he and some of his friends would attend. That’s where you first learn to drive, where you first did a street race, where you first ran away from the police. You were a different person in Modia, a different person before the third letter.

As you finished explaining what was going on you pulled up to the airstrip. “My princess, are you sure about this?” Chan asked you, as you both got out of the car to exchange seats. “I wouldn’t see this version of you doing this,” he came to your side of the car, as you stood right outside the door. In Modia, you were reckless, carefree, never one for following the rules.

“I was sure, but being here, I don’t know anymore,” you said, honestly, you were those things, but you’re not anymore. It was like when you go out and then all of a sudden life is drained from you and you just wanna curl up in bed. You were so excited, almost jumping out of your seat during lunch with Lord Na today, just aching to escape and be gone. You were prepared, ready for a new life. But now, being here, Jaemin and the plane ready to take you away in front of you, you weren’t so certain.

“Whatever choice you make, my princess, you shall always have my support,” Chan offers with a genuine smile and knowing eyes. Unable to form words of gratitude, a simple nod being all you could manage.

You made your way to Jaemin, stopping right in front of him. “Are you ready princess? Lidia will meet you when you land, she’ll get you situated in Teraha, with identification to help you get around the country. Teraha has been neutral territory since the start of the war, so there’s no need to worry if someone picks up on your accent.”

“I can’t,” you start off, Jaemin’s mention of the war throws you back to reality. This marriage, this union between you and Jeno was ending a century old war. How could you be so selfish, you thought to yourself. The alliance being freshly formed, there’s no telling what would happen if you were to disappear. Northcy could declare war on Modia for not honoring the union, Modia could declare war for losing the only heir. Mother and father would be absolutely devastated, they would think they lost all of their children. Not to mention, your responsibilities, your people, your country. How could you ever think to turn your back on them?

“I’m sorry Jaemin, I know this must’ve been a lot of work for you, but I can’t. I can’t run away from my responsibilities,” you said to the boy in front of you. He looked confused, like he didn’t understand the words coming out of your mouth.

“You’re gonna marry Prince Jeno, princess?”

“I am… it’s my responsibility to my people,” you said with a sigh.

“You will be an unhappy princess,” Jaemin said with a firm look, he didn’t agree with your decision. “You will be alone, in a marriage with a man you don’t love. Your maids and guards will be sent back to Modia, you will have no one. You will be unhappy.”

“Yes,” you breathed, pausing, unsure how to continue, “yes I will be unhappy, but isn’t it worth it? My unhappiness for thousands of lives? I will be unhappy and alone in Northcy, but I will save thousands of people, my people… it is worth it to me.`` You turned and began to walk away from Jaemin back to the car where Chan sat waiting to see your decision.

When you got in the car, the tears flowed freely, never stopping the entire ride to the palace. Chan placed one hand on your thigh and another on the driving wheel. You thought, there it goes. You've done it yourself, you have nailed your coffin shut. There was no turning back now.

“I'm proud of you, my princess,” Chan said, pulling your hand to his lips, placing a chaste kiss.

Jaemin stood there watching the car the princess got into drive away back towards the palace. Pulling the walkie-talkie, from the back of his pants. Bringing it up to his lips, pressing the button speaking into the mic. “Stand down, guard.”

Jaemin was never gonna let the princess get away. There were palace guards on board the plane, waiting for the princesss to enter. That was the plan, entice the princess with the idea of escaping the impending marriage. Allow her a way to get out of the country and when she boards the plane, palace guards will be there to restrain her and the union would have been broken. She would have been caught trying to willingly escape, going back on the union, allowing Northcy to invade the rest of Modia.

Jaemin wanted the princess to turn his proposition away, but he wasn’t hopeful for it. Nevertheless, Jaemin left the airstrip glad you turned him away, glad that you wouldn’t be held prisoner in Northcy, glad that you were going back.

Jeno paced his room back and forth awaiting news, the idea of catching the princess trying to escape was Jeno’s idea. Jeno didn’t want to rule Northcy, he didn’t want to get married, so if the princess was caught trying to escape and go back on the union, that would throw his father for a loop. The union would be postponed, alliances would have to be renegotiated, Northcy wouldn’t enter a time of peace and his father would stay on the throne. The ringing of Jeno’s phone pulled him from his thoughts. A picture of Jeno and Jaemin appeared on the screen, it was from a ski trip a few years back.

“Hello? Jaems, is she on the plane?” Jeno spoke into the phone.

“You owe me 10 mons dear cousin,” Jaemin replied

“You’re kidding right? She didn’t get on? Did you tell her she was gonna be unhappy here?”

“I did, and she said it was worth it. Her unhappiness was worth thousands of lives, thousands of her people’s lives”

Jeno ended the conversation there, opting for a quick telling him to return to the palace and make sure no one knows of this. Jeno didn’t like the princess, not one bit, but he sure as hell respected her. He respected the decision she made, the responsibilities she took on, the role she lives. Jeno wasn’t planning on making this marriage work, but he decided that he wasn’t gonna make life difficult for the princess. Jeno sat on his bed and thought to himself, ‘whatever, whomever, she wants, she will have, all she need do is ask.’

The next morning came, your head aching from all the crying you did. You remembered laying in Chan’s arms crying as you two laid in bed, unsure of when you stopped or when you fell asleep. Chan wasn’t in your bed anymore and it was probably best he wasn’t, but that didn’t mean you didn’t wish him in your bed. Fei and Mei made their way in your room, helping you dress, they ignored your puffy eyes and pale look, but you knew that they knew. To anyone else nothing seems out of the ordinary, but you knew better, you knew Fei and Mei, you knew that they knew.

You had breakfast privately in your own chambers, grateful that no one called you down to eat. You wanted to do nothing but hide away in your chambers, curl into bed and watch the world around you fall into a black abyss. You pushed the food around, unable to bring the fork up to your mouth, nothing seeming to appeal to you.

“Take it away,” you said to Mei as she stood in the corner watching you with sad eyes, Fei just joined her side, having finished setting the bed.

“Yes, your highness,” as mei made her way to clean up your plate, there was a knock at your door.

“Send them away, I don’t wish to see anyone right now,” you said with a dead look.

“Yes, your highness,” Fei answered, she gave Mei a worried look, this was how the princess acted when the third letter came home. Mei quickly shook her head. Fei made her way to the door and opened it to see Prince Jeno standing on the other side. Mei quickly made her way past Fei carrying the tray of food out the door.

“Oh perfect, the princess finished breakfast already,” Jeno said, pushing his way past Fei into your chambers. You stood against the windows looking down onto the courtyard, there were children down there playing, they were servants' children. “Princess?”

You turned around to see Jeno standing there, with hopeful eyes. You didn’t have the energy for this, you needed time to mourn the loss of a what if life. “Fei, I said I didn’t want to see anyone right now.”

“I apologize, your highness.”

“I am sorry Prince Jeno, but now isn’t a good time,” Jeno looked at you utterly confused, you weren’t doing anything, why would this be a bad time?

“Fei, leave us,” Jeno said with authority laced in his voice.

“Yes, your highness,” now it was your turn to look confused, your maids never took orders from Jeno, they always looked for your approval before acting, but Fei quickly made her way to the door not even sparring you a second glance.

“Princess, what is the issue?” Jeno asked, taking a stride to close the gap between you two.

“Your highness, I am completely fine, there is no issue, now is just not a good time,” Jeno showed lots of emotion in his eyes, but so did you. For royals trained to not allow anyone TO know what they thought, the eyes gave both you and your fiance away.

“I do not believe that princess, would you like to try again?” Jeno was intimidating standing so close to you. You looked away not wishing to meet his gaze.

“Jeno please,” you sighed, not wanting to do this right now.

“Alright princess, but I need you to follow me”

“Why?” you asked, Jeno ignored your question, grabbing your hand lacing your fingers together pulling you out of the room. Taken aback you stared at your hand laced together with Jeno’s, it was odd how the two fit so perfectly together, almost made for each other.

As the two of you left your chambers, Chan and Hyunjin stared at you two, unsure if they should follow. After a moment they both followed you and the Prince, Chan looked down to your hand, his heart hurting at the sight. Jeno had pulled you into his own private chambers, that was down the hall from your own. Chan and Hyunjin stopped and posted guard outside the door, the ache in Chan’s heart growing as each second passed on.

Jeno’s private chambers were similar to your own but larger and darker. The walls were painted a dark gary, there was a balcony, the floor was littered with books here and there. There was a couch in the middle, across the wall held a TV as well as what looked to be several game consoles. Spoiled you thought to yourself, the prince had many toys to keep himself occupied. In between the couch and tv there sat a nice wood coffee table, on top a large package. Jeno gestured towards the package, “for you,” was all he said.

You took a step closely examining the package, it was a puppy. A small doberman puppy, shock all too evident on your face. You picked up the small gleaming puppy and held, what you assumed a he, close to your chest, petting him. “Hi there, do you have a name?” you asked looking for a dog tag on the collar. “What is the meaning of this?” you said looking towards Jeno, the dead look no longer present.

“I heard you had a dog, back home in Modia. This won’t ever be home for you princess, but I hope this gift can offer some semblance of home,” Jeno said looking straight into you, just as Jaemin did only a little over a week ago. “You can name him what you want, it is a boy,” Jeno said, confirming your suspicions.

“Thank you Jeno,” you said, although your dog back home wasn’t a dobermann, it was the idea that Jeno tried to make this new place a little homey that warmed your heart. Now turning to look at the puppy in your arms, “What should we call you boy? Does your dad have any suggestions?” you asked, turning to look at Jeno not realizing what you said.

Jeno looked at you shocked, quickly recovering, “I don’t know, what about gae?”

“No, no, ilio?” you suggested.

“No way, inu?”

“No,” you gave Jeno a disgusted look, “it needs to be a strong name,” you said as you sat down on the couch placing the puppy on your lap, Jeno sitting next to you petting the puppy.

“King?” Jeno suggested with a chuckle

“Sarge?” Jeno grimaced at your suggestion

“Hades,” Jeno said, looking at the dog, it was no longer a suggestion.

“Hades,” you repeated, have chosen a name for the doberman puppy that sat in your lap. You and Jeno spent the rest of your morning in his chambers playing with the dog. He got the dog plenty of toys to play with and plenty of doggy treats as well. Apparently Jeno left the place early this morning and went down to the city to get the puppy and all his stuff. After hours of you and Jeno playing with the dog, the dead look has left your eyes long ago, you thought maybe this union wouldn’t be as bad as you imagined.

You laid on the couch, the puppy curled up next to you taking a nap, your eyes felt heavy as well. Jeno sat on the floor, back against the couch, there was a movie playing on the tv, too tired to try to pay attention. Jeno looked over his shoulder looking at the puppy curled next to you, hoping that this would be enough for you for right now. There was a knock at the door, pulling Jeno from his thoughts and to his feets. The knock startled you awake, now sitting up, Jeno sparring you a glance to make sure you were alright for a guest.

“Come in,” Jeno’s voice was cold, calculated, borderline strained.

The door pushed open to reveal Jaemin and Haechan, the two making their way into the room. Jaemin dressed simply wearing jeans and some sneakers, with a hoodie on top. Haechan dressed a little more formal, having jeans, with sneakers but instead of a hoodie, he wore a nice dress shirt. “What is going on here?” Haechan asked with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

“Jeno,” You started, stopping to correct your mistake, “Prince Jeno, gave me a very generous gift,” you slightly bowed your head showing the dog to the two others.

“(y/n), relax it’s just us no need to be so formal,” Jaemin offered with a smirk, the head tilted to the right and the direct eye contact. Heat rising up Jeno’s spine at his cousin’s blatant flirting.

“What do you two need?” Jeno’s question comes out a bit too rough, even causing you to slightly flinch at the tone.

Jaemin smirked clearly seeing the effect his flirting has, “We just came up wondering where you were, you didn’t attend breakfast this morning and you already missed lunch with the General, he wanted to see you, considering he won't be back until the wedding.”

“What time is it?” Jeno asked, looking for a clock frantically.

“He left already, he assumed you were upset about what he said at yesterday’s outing,” Haechan responded to Jeno.

“Damn it,” Was all Jeno said as he ran a hand over his face, not realizing he missed seeing his brother off. Jeno then turned to you, “I’m sorry princess, I must leave you now, please feel free to stay as long as you please.” All you could do was shake your head no, trying to tell Jeno not to worry about you. Jeno walked to the door, Haechan offered a small smile and a wave, whild Jaemin shoved his hands in his pockets and gave you a knowing smirk. The three of them exit the room, leaving you and Hades alone.

You looked around the room, this was the first time you were ever in Jeno’s room. His room held some semblance of personality, there was a desk in front of the balcony doors, and a trophy case on one side of the room next to the double doors that opened up to the sleeping area. Jeno’s desk held a framed picture of him and his brothers and another framed picture of him and a girl. She was stunningly beautiful, shorter than the Prince, with long sleek raven colored hair. Her figure was thin but she had a nice tanned complexion. It was like everything you wanted to look like embodied into one person, her.

You didn’t even know this girl and already you didn’t like her, you didn’t like that she was everything you wanted to be. You didn’t like that her picture sat on Jeno’s desk. You didn’t like that Jeno looked at her and not you when he worked. What is wrong with you, you thought. Why do you care, why are you so jealous, the question coming to mind. Realizing that there was seriously no reason to not like this girl.

“Gosh (y/n) get a hold of yourself, you don’t even like him,” you muttered to yourself moving away from the pictures to the paperwork on the desk. There was a document that caught your eye. ‘Accommodations for the Modia Princess’ the top line read. You scanned the paper, it was a list of accommodations that needed to be made to ensure your comfort here in Northcy. It wasn’t until you reached the bottom of the Document that you were seriously confused. The document was written by the Prince, and was awaiting approval from the queen.

“Why would he make a list of things for me?” You muttered again to yourself. Hades coming to your legs to paw at your feet. You picked up the dog holding him against your chest. “Aren’t you a spoiled boy? Yes, yes you are,” you spoke in the baby voice to the dog. “Let’s go take you for a walk.”

You went to the basket that sat on the coffee tables filled with all of Hades’ things. Finding a leash, you attach it to the dog's collar, exiting the room. There you found Chan and Hyunjin standing guard. “Look at my new gift,” you told the two.

“Very nice, princess,” Hyunjin said to you. You walked, Chan and Hyunjin were on your trail and you walked the palace halls, letting the puppy see everything.

02 > 03

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@cookydream

#jeno #jeno x reader #jeno imagines #nct series #nct senarios #nct dream #nct jeno #nct royal au #nct x reader #nct dream imagines

145 notes · View notes

queenharumiura · 4 years

Note

The elite: Ponsol and Kyouya~

Send me a ship and I will grade it: ||Still accepting||

C: Not a bad ship

Since I already touched upon Kyouya earlier i’m going to skip ahead to this one;;;;;;;;; Since I’m typing this up, I see no need to tag myself kek

I see that their relationship would be… better off as friends, perhaps. I mean it really all depends on the verse that I’m playing, but if I go with the usual one, which is highly headcanoned (due to him only showing up for like what, 3 chapters? lol) he’s— he’s an ass. Plain, short, and simple.

He’s an ass.

With the way he grew up, he grew to think that he has to be better than everyone else. He’s above other people. In his mind, people have to be used or they are useless to him. Similarly, he has to be used, or be useless.

If there isn’t a benefit involved, then there is no point to a continued relationship of any kind with him. He’s very untrusting of others outside the mindset of business. He likes to be in control and will not tolerate anyone telling him what to do. He’s stubborn and he’s very vindictive. If you get on his bad side, he’s more than willing to see to it that you rue the very day you laid eyes on him.

Now, he is very understanding of how messed up he is. He was raised to be this way. Power is the ultimate and that’s all you need. The more powerful you are, the less likely people can rise against you. It’s that kind of mindset that he had drilled into him since young. Additionally, he was taught that he himself is nothing but a spare.

Due to this, he has difficulties making any true bonds with people. He hardly trusts people in his own family. The only people who showed him any care are his grandmother, his mother, and his brother (in his own way). His relationship with his brother is a bit strained because of the whole ‘you are a spare’ and the whole ‘i’m partly the reason why my brother is this messed up’ thing.

That’s just how I headcanon things because I wanted for something to explain why they turned out the way they did as humans rather than demons. Yay human AU’s. Boo given absolutely no canon information about them, so I gotta pick up the slack.

So yeah, Ponsol doesn’t trust a lot of people and knowing how messed up he is, he can’t trust that anyone would truly like him for who he is. The only way people can like him is if there is some kind of a gain from it. Business is something he can trust. The give and take relationship. Law abiding contracts that hold people to their word.

Ponsol isn’t a good person. Outwardly, he may smile and be polite, but he’s usually ruthlessly tearing into someone mentally. It was the way he was taught to tear into people, to see them as lesser than him, but that conflicts with the way h was taught from his mother. She taught him to not judge people and to be kind to people.

He really loves his mother, and respects her greatly. So there is always this huge contrast between the ideals his mother taught him and the lessons he keeps getting drilled into him by the strict and cruel upbringing by his grandfather. His grandmother tried to help but she passed away while Ponsol was still young.

From this, he turned into this person who only cares about profits, and being very vindictive in the way to give people a warning to not act against him if they know what’s good for them. If they touch anyone in the family, he has to enact vengeance because how dare they think that touching his family would keep them safe? There is no such thing as ‘if you care for their life, you will do as we say.’ABSOLUTELY NOT. Ponsol is supposed to not care. Do what you want. For every scratch you put on them, he adds another step to his ultimate evil plan to make your life a living nightmare. Your loved ones will not be spared. You thought to touch his family, so why shouldn’t he stoop that low as well? In fact, he’ll do far worse. It’s the family way to return favors double fold.

He’s very cunning and he’ll figure a way to get away with most things. His brother is sort of the only moral backbone he has when they are near each other. Even then, we know that Shugarl himself isn’t exactly a model citizen either. They’re just asses in their own right tbh.

So with all that, you can easily say that Ponsol is messed up. He knows this. It really affects his mentality, and it’s this clash of his emotionally and mentally that makes him such a horrible person. He’s got a horrid and angry temper from this clash, and he can lash out if you do the wrong thing in front of him.

I don’t really see Kyouya being interested in Ponsol when he’s like this. Maybe business partners, but given how he is… I truly wonder if Kyouya would give him the chance. Kyouya is meticulous so he’d do his research. I can see him looking into some of the stuff Ponsol did and not being impressed.

However, another part of me wonders if he’d look into the past and realize some concerning things about Ponsol’s upbringing. After all, Kyouya also had instances with his own siblings, and maybe he can relate to a certain extent, since he’s not supposed to be the heir being that he’s the younger brother of the family.

Ponsol is also the younger brother of the family. He’s to consider himself the placeholder for whenever his brother finally ‘opens his eyes’ and decides to take over as the heir himself. Ponsol works hard because he wants acknowledgement. He’s not just a placeholder. He can do this job and do it well. He hates the fact that people think he’s just a placeholder and they look down on him or even try to undermine him.

That goes against the idea that he shouldn’t let anyone look down on him and so it’s always a rough battle in the corporation. He always has to look strong and be strong. He has to be the best, even above his brother, but still be told that he’s nothing in comparison. So it’s this weird thing where he’s got a lot of pride, but it can so easily shatter the moment his brother comes into the picture.

It’s this weird borderline of him being so prideful and haughty, but also having nothing. Yep. He’s fucked up. He honestly needs help, but he doesn’t ever reach out for it because that’s ‘weak’.

Having not grown with a lot of affection, he secretly craves for it on a subconsious level, even though he doesn’t think he needs it. That’s why I write it that when he’s sick, he sort of is a bit childish. He’s weak, he can’t think properly or hold himself to his usual standard. Being cared for when he’s sick reminds him of the time when he was very sickly as a child and it’s like this subconsious plea for help that he never knew he felt.

He thought he gave up on all of that to be frank. It is possible that perhaps Kyouya can notice all of this and think that Ponsol needs help. He may not like him, or agree with his methods, but he understands he needs help.

Both can b of use to the other, so while they have a business relationship, Kyouya can try to unravel some of Ponsol’s deep hurt.

It would take a lot of effort and fighting as Ponsol has his guard up, but he does crave for comfort and affection like I said. So, if done right, he would actually fold a lot easier than one would think. He’s very weak to people who are loyal and sincere. If one were to show him sincerity in some form, he would take note of that and deep down start to form a kind of trust and or affection for the other party.

This can grow to the point that he can see them as a friend. With continued effort, it’s possible that something else can come out of that. Ponsol is a willful guy who is selfish. He thinks of himself first and foremost. He really doesn’t care much for other people. He only does for the sake of appearances.

Still, he’s quite sensitive to emotional and mental abuses since he suffers a lot from that himself. So he is a bit sensitive to that too when he interacts with other people. He may be prone to showing a bit of kindness in a situation like that.

So depending on how willing Kyouya is to give Ponsol a chance and to work with him, it could work out. Maybe.

Like I said, Ponsol is a messed up piece of work. However, IF he actually manages to find somone he cares for, he will do whatever it takes to keep them safe. It’s like a greedy dragon who will protect his treasures. This treasure of his will be someone who he will be considerate to.

Basically meaning, this will be one of the only people (aside from a few of his family members) that can tell him what to do, and he’d actually consider it.

He doesn’t allow a lot of people into his heart, so if you managed to worm your way in, you best be grateful.

If Kyouya somehow managed to get into Ponsol’s life in a positive manner (and not business), he’d see the deeper part of Ponsol that most people don’t get to see. It’s because you somehow managed to get past his defenses, and so he’ll let himself be open with you.

Deep down, he wasn’t a bad kid. He can be a bit sassy and bratty, but he was caring for people. As an influence from his mother, he loves flowers. He had to grow up seeing people bash his mother for reasons, and so he’s very protective of his loved ones. He felt helpless because he couldn’t do anything about it as a child.

Now, if anyone had something to say about his mother, he will flip shit. He still can’t say anything against his grandfather though, since he knows from experience that it has the opposite effect.

Idk how willing Kyouya would be, but it could happen, but with a LOT of work. Ponsol would think well of Kyouya’s character, but he would also probably feel a bit… self-consious around him? He’s more upright and moral than Ponsol is, after all.

So it would be a reminder of how shitty of a person he turned out to be and it would make him feel a bit bitter on the inside to be honest. Still, he wouldn’t hate Kyouya over it. He would just have more inner depressive escapades because of it.

He respects Kyouya for his work ethic and his charisma. He wouldn’t think ill of Kyouya. Given that he’s from a line of doctors, which have the duty of healing people, there is a sense of care that he feels. There is respect from that, since it’s the opposite of how he sees his family. They are cold, conniving, and cruel.

Businessmen usually don’t have a very good reputation so ahahah—

All in all, if a lot of work was put into it, I think they would be an interesting pair. They would be that power couple that no one could lay hands on. Everyone would have to tread carefully around them. I’m sure they would be able to support the other in regards to business. They would have a lot of trust in the other and I think that’s precious. Would be so difficult though and i’m honestly not sure if Kyouya would even want to put forth the effort into trying to tame this asshole lol.

#Friendlyneighbourhoodscientist #meme answered #answered ask #thanks for the ask!#Neo speaks #((Phew this took a while. OTL))#((It's more about Ponsol sorry about that ahahahaha))#Long post

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jakganim · 6 years

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normally i write these little journal entries at night when the day is over and my mind is well worn from the day’s use. it feels much more flexible and that makes it easier for me to find and form the words i need, to convey what i’m feeling or thinking. it’s not even noon yet here but i guess a lot of things are suddenly on my mind all at once (there’s always a lot of things on my mind at once, but today’s a little different i guess)

it’s mid november now so i guess i’m right on time for my monthly brain dump lol. this past week a lot of things suddenly just got... really real for me LOL. i realized how little i understand about what i need to do in order to survive in this world we live in right now. i also learned how little i knew about how to run a business. it’s a project i started working on in the summer, not realizing that once the semester started, i would not be prepared to handle my own business and school and my part-time job and my a cappella group all at once. and in my eyes, my business, which hadn’t even started in my eyes but had most definitely started in the eyes of the law lmao, was not nearly as important as all the other things i had on my plate. so i just left it alone and now i realize that it is a responsibility that i must take care of consistently. i can’t just leave it there because that can and will negatively affect me in the long run. and so one might say i’m highkey stressed about it. it gets harder to sleep at night because i’m left thinking about what i should do to make sure things go smoothly. i have to turn to my phone for a youtube video or something to read so i don’t think about it and instead just go to sleep (which i desperately need lmao) the semester is almost over and i’m just waiting for it to end so that i could be that one step closer to graduation. to freedom and more daunting expectations and responsibilities. but to me that is still better than being stuck in between the two worlds like i am right now. if i could focus my energy into one world then i would probably be suffering a lot less. but i suppose life doesn’t always quite work like that.

and at the height of all this, astro’s amazing leader jinjin does not fail to remind me how minute all of these things are. i can only imagine what he’s thinking or feeling, because i’m obviously not him. but i like to believe i know a thing or two about life, death, and family. and seeing jinjin accept their award and speaking about his grandmother through tears reminded me of my own grandmother, who’s long since passed away. she basically raised me, first of all lol. she came all the way over to this stupidass country to take care of my brother and me when both my parents were hard at work trying to make a living for us. and my grandfather was here too, though he passed much MUCH earlier on and i was just a young child. and it’s interesting how both times i was there for the phone call my mother received. and both times, a very basic, instinctual part of me, as a human, understood, regardless of what age i was, that they were gone, and i would never see them again, and that made my heart sink, even if i hadn’t seen them in a long time because they were back in china already. the impact wasn’t quite as strong with my grandfather because i was so young when he died and i didn’t spend nearly as much time with him as i did with my grandmother, who i’d visited in china once after she’d gone back when i was 12. and the impact didn’t so much even come from the mere fact of the death of my grandmother as it did from the look on my mom’s face and the way she hung up the phone, and just buried her face in her hands and cried silently in the middle of work. i wanted to say she cried weakly but it was not so much that her cries were weak but that she was holding them back with so much strength. my father was out of the office at the moment and i was just there for the summer wasting time. and it had been a short few, tense minutes of me sitting in the same room watching her carefully, knowing what had happened, and saying nothing. i didn’t even get up to walk over to her to ask if she was okay or hug her or say anything. and then it was over just as fast as it started and she was wiping her tears away and the crying was over and she was back to being who she had been not even ten minutes ago. except not. and she simply relayed the message to me that my grandmother had died, a simple fact, one i obviously already knew, but i suppose she felt she needed to formally announce it to me just in case. and i realized that i’d learned THAT part of my mother more than anything else, for better or for worse. because i know that if i had been in her position i would’ve reacted similarly, but if someone had come to console me, i would’ve straight up broken down sobbing. but maybe that’s what she needed, what we all need in these times. and i regret that i could not give her that much, as i, perhaps in my mid to late teens, sat at my desk, and stared resolutely ahead into nothingness and let the words settle over me.

and somehow, life moved on like nothing had changed and i moved on. and i understood just a little bit more about how my mother ticked, as a person. i can’t remember how i felt at that time or if the situation had any lingering emotional impact on me at that moment in my life. it’s been so long it feels a little like i forgot about it. until now of course. and park jinwoo, a young man who is out there trying his hardest and doing his best to lead a group of five others, reminded me today, just how strong some of us have to be to be able to just feel. i can’t say for sure he’s doing things the right way or the best way because i wouldn’t know what those ways are but it seems to me as though he’s managed to find a good balance between trying his best to be strong for himself, his family, and his group, and also just being genuine and pure in his emotions and thoughts. that’s a part of him that i will always admire and look up to. a beautiful, humble person he is. and we could all do to learn even just a little bit from him.

it seems a little... almost rude of me to feel grateful to him at such a time as this, when the passing of a family member is almost always viewed as an unfortunate happening, but i would not rather lie that i am not grateful to him for having reminded me of the importance of family and taught me more about myself and my mother, even if it may seem at the expense of someone’s life. but it’s obviously not that i, for a lack of better words, am grateful for the death of anyone so much as i am grateful for one park jinwoo and how he’s chosen to react to it. i hope i’m making sense and that if anyone chooses to read this that they do not take any type offense.

it’s a minute away from noon now and i feel a lot less like i know what the fuck i’m talking about, not that i started in a much better position either. but i think it’s about time i end this brain dump before i begin to doubt myself.

ah but before i go, i just wanted to bring up one thing that suddenly came to mind the other day. and it’s the fact that a bunch of random strangers out there actually share interests with me and follow me and actually give a shit (or at least some of them do haha) about me and/or my life as a human being. like... how wild is that? i mean, i’m the same as any of them because i do the same thing by following other people but like not including the friends that we make on this site, there’s so many people we still follow and care about despite not being the best of friends. and that amazes me. and i’m always so thankful, so grateful for all of my followers, mutuals, and friends alike. i receive buttloads more than i could give. i can never say enough how blessed i am.

fin. 171115 | 12:07PM

#jojo journal #much more of a brain dump than i thought it'd be #tw: death

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fauzhee10069 · 7 years

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The four Haseki and their relationship with beloved Mothers-in-Law

We'll come closer to the end of Kösem sultan and her magnificent story :,(. Now let me present these four ambitious hasekis in different time but lived below the same sky (don’t ask me why I included Ayşe, just keep reading it! ;-) and why I don’t include Hürrem vs Valide Ayşe Hafsa because mainly I forgot their story XP). Hürrem started this "opposing your mother-in-law" continued with Nurbanu to Turhan sultan (only in MY and MYK dear, not historically), but how their stories differ? Let's see...:

Afife Nurbanu Sultan:

Her mother-in-law was Hürrem sultan, Hürrem wanted her to be a smart but obedient daughter-in-law, she became a gozde (favorite) to sehzade Selim (later Selim II). Iirc, Nurbanu's conflict with Hürrem started when Hürrem refused to protect & defend her after she had fight with Hurichihan (Hatice sultan's daughter) & caused her death. Afraid to the consequence of her deed, she threatened Hürrem to show her letter about ordering Nurbanu to kill Suleyman I's other gozde, Nazenin hatun, from this onwards their conflict began. Other factor that driven Nurbanu is her ambition to support Selim to be the successor, next sultan after Suleyman I, especially after she found that Hürrem was supporting her other son, sehzade Bayezid. Her conflict with Hürrem mainly to prevent and foiled her to support Beyazid. Even after Hurrem's death, Nurbanu was still occupied with Beyazid's remaining supporters (including Mihrimah & Rustem->though Rustem would betray later via Gracia Mendes' seduction (LOL)).

Mahpeyker Kösem Sultan:

Her actual mother-in-law was Handan sultan, but her nemesis (in the show) was Safiye sultan, Handan's mother-in-law & the grandmother of Kosem's spouse Ahmed I. Similar with Hürrem, Safiye intended to present Kösem to Ahmed and use her to influence & control his power. Their conflict started when Safiye, unable to control Kösem anymore, decided to kill her father. Feeling betrayed, Kösem decided to avenge her father's death (while being a heroine too) by leading Safiye's daughter, Fahriye sultan to her death. Safiye repaid it with Yasemin hatun (Kösem's sister)'s death and Kösem paid it back with Iskender/sehzade Yahya (Safiye's missing son)'s death. Also Kösem being heroine wanted to protect Ahmed and the state from her, especially when Safiye did the coup d'etat, causing chaos in the palace. Not long after, Ahmed died, leaving Kösem with her little children fighting Safiye (and later Halime) alone.

Ayşe Sultan:

Her mother-in-law was Kösem sultan and her spouse was sultan Murad IV. Like Hürrem and Safiye, Kösem too expected that Ayşe would be an obedient, helpful & easily controlled by her. I think during the very first episode of season 2, there would be a rivalry and conflict between Ayşe and Kösem, how Ayşe said that she wished to support Murad and keep him away from the influence of his mother in ruling the state. Ayşe also said that she refused to follow every Kosem's orders and be obedient to her. Too bad this rivalry concept got thrown out and replaced with her fake rivalry with Farya as Mahidevran 2.0. Ayse's story here would be mainly fanon:

After Kösem's ten years regency, Murad became the sultan officially (I mean, the time when Murad was able to govern the state independently), but with Kösem's influence in the government, viziers & jannisaries, they were already familiar and support her and the people greatly trust her. Murad was struggling to gain the trust and recognition from his people. Everyone (including viziers and jannisaries) still doubted this young sultan's capability to rule, they always compared him to Kösem. Murad wanted to step out from his mother's shadow, he tried to limit Kosem's power and influence, he wanted his mother as valide sultan back to her initial duty, managing the harem. As loyal spouse and his most beloved woman, Ayşe supported Murad and helped him to be able to rule independently by trying to dispel and keep him away from his mother's influence, she also managed to seek the support from the people including some viziers. Ayşe chose to be a good wife and queen/haseki who supported her spouse the sultan in government rather than being used and controlled by his mother. Thus her conflict with Kösem sultan began. Besides her conflict with Kösem, Ayşe also had her own problem, she was struggling to provide Murad a healthy sehzade who would have his chance to survive adulthood and become the heir for Murad's throne. Murad's relationship with his mother was gradually strained. Seeing her son's insubordination to her, Kösem decided to get rid of Ayşe as the mastermind of the destruction of their family relationships. Their rivalry was fierce until Murad's death came. Ayşe who had lost her greatest support (and love) Murad and lost her sehzade who could be made an heir, lost her power, influence and purpose completely. She was immediately removed by Kösem and sent away to live in the Old Palace.

Turhan Hatice Sultan:

Her mother-in-law was also Kösem sultan and she was the spouse of Ibrahim I. Turhan had learned all the tales of the powerful sultana in Ottoman and had her own ambition. She saw Kösem as her role model and at the same time she wanted to be like her. Kösem still expected her to be easily controlled and obedient to her but Turhan thought that being obedient and passive won't make her a powerful figure. She found that to fight her mother-in-law, she had to get her sultan's support. Observing her situation and circumstance, getting the support from her spouse seemed difficult since Ibrahim had numerous gozde that he loved, he even appointed his eight gozde (including her) as his haseki. Turhan could become the Baş Haseki had been a lucky one for her since she had Ibrahim's oldest sehzade Mehmed. The odds of getting support from her spouse are getting smaller as he brought new gozde again and this gozde became his legal wife (Telli Humaşah). Thus, rather than wage an open war to Kösem, she decided to gain the trust for her. By being the closest person to Kösem, she could observe everything, from how Kösem gains her supports to find a chance to overthrow her. During this time, Turhan managed to gain the trust of viziers, but Kösem still had the most influence in jannisaries. Turhan also tried her best to secure her son and protect him as the next heir after Ibrahim's death. When Ibrahim died, Mehmed the oldest sehzade succeeded him. But as long as Kösem still alive, her struggle was not over yet. Kösem who had many experience as regent thought that inexperienced Turhan wasn't competent enough to rule the state, Kösem was preventing her to be in charge of state affairs. Turhan disagreed since she felt entitled as the mother of Mehmed IV. Kösem later went to far by attempting to remove Mehmed and replaced him with sehzade Suleyman (the son of supposedly more obedient haseki Saliha Dilasub). Driven by her will to protect her son's life, Turhan decided to get rid Kösem completely and her men successfully murdered her. Eventually, Turhan became regent and rule the state together with her son. My fanon is that the previous haseki sultan Ayşe wanted have her revenge with Kösem, so she temporarily helped Turhan behind the scene.

Summary:

Many young sultana during their time as queen consort (haseki) had strained relationship with her mother-in-law, the queen dowager (valide sultan), they had similar ambitions but they had their different motivation and situation.

In Nurbanu's case, she was a favorite of Selim II during his sehzade years. There was sehzade Beyazid as threat who challenged Selim's way to be the heir. Being supportive to her spouse, Nurbanu made sure that Selim will success it. Nurbanu's main focused was how Selim would take the throne.

In Kösem's case, she initially was driven by revenge. But later when she found that Ahmed I her spouse's life was also in danger, she fought to protect him. Safiye's failed attempt to control Ahmed drove her to led a coup d'etat. Ahmed with the help of Kösem successfully weakened Safiye's power and influence. But not long after that, Ahmed died and Kösem lost her greatest support. Kösem became alone surrounded with many dangerous snakes especially Safiye and Halime, though in the end she was able to get rid of them.

In Ayse's case, Murad became a sultan who just been deemed worthy to rule by his own. Ayşe helped Murad to gain the trust and to be recognized by his people, she wanted him to get out from Kösem's shadow. Ayşe also had another burden since Murad didn't have an apparent heir yet. In the end Murad died without heir and his brother Ibrahim was the one who succeeded him. Ayşe lost her position and had to spend her life in the Old Palace according to the custom.

In Turhan's case and during her time, Ibrahim I had his eight harem girls as the haseki. Turhan happened to bore him the oldest sehzade Mehmed thus she became the Baş haseki. Turhan had to face her many harem rivals including the greatest threat who was Telli Humaşah, the girl Ibrahim brought and became his legal wife. Turhan was not really loved by Ibrahim (as she was not his most favorite). After Ibrahim's death, Turhan had her power struggle with Kösem sultan. She wanted to be regent ruling independently but her reign always overshadowed by Kösem. Their conflict became worse when Kösem wanted to get rid of Turhan's son and replaced him with her other grandson, thus leading to Kosem's death by Turhan's men hands.

TL;DR

All had their conflict with their MiLs but Nurbanu was haseki of sehzade whereas Kösem, Ayşe and Turhan were haseki of sultans. All supposedly outlived their MiL but canon MYK!Ayşe died before Kösem. Although Kösem had her conflict with her actual MiL Handan, her main nemesis was Safiye sultan, her MiL's MiL (or should I say grandmother-in-law). Nurbanu's spouse Selim I outlived his mother but Ahmed I (Kosem's spouse), Murad IV (Ayse's spouse) and Ibrahim I (Turhan's spouse) died before their mothers (and grandmother in Ahmed's case). Nurbanu, Kösem and Turhan had their surviving sons took his fathers' throne whereas Ayşe didn't. Nurbanu, Kösem and Ayşe were loved and greatly supported by their spouses whereas Turhan was not really (but canon-MYK!Ayşe instead was greatly abused and hated by him), Ibrahim might loved Turhan but she was not his most beloved one. Nurbanu, Kösem and Turhan succeeded in becoming valide sultan and became the most powerful sultana in their respective era whereas only Ayşe who couldn’t make it since she didn’t have a sehzade (the prince), the most important asset for every women as royals.

Conclusion:

Powerful and ambitious women in MY and MYK always expect their daughters-in-law to be the obedient and easily-controlled. Unbeknownst for them, they became the role models of their younger generations. Thus, instead having the obedient DiL, they got their own reflection: the DiL that exactly the same with their younger selves. These DiL won’t easily submit to them just like themselves in their younger days.

Also I wonder when Turhan’s hair color was mentioned as blonde, There is no popular culture that show Turhan with blonde hair. Mahpeyker: Kösem Sultan’s Turhan was brunette and Muhteşem Yüzyıl: Kösem‘s Turhan is dark haired (likely black). I’m sorry with my shitty bad quality editing but I want my Turhan’s blonde XD, I’m not expert.

#valide sultan #haseki sultan #muhtesem yuzyil #muhtesem yuzyil kosem #my thoughts #mother in law vs daughter in law #ottoman empire #hurrem sultan #nurbanu sultan #safiye sultan #kosem sultan #ayse haseki sultan #turhan hatice sultan #haseki ayse sultan's story is mainly fanon #canon!MYK story gave Ayse's story & character injustice #canon!MYK is not historically canon either #respect haseki ayse post #blonde!Turhan

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anonymoustalks · 4 years

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I remember my grandma hugging me and she started crying in the dark

(6-16-20) You both like politics.

Stranger: hello

You: heyoo

You: what's important to you?

Stranger: good question

Stranger: Freedom!

You: hurray good for you~

You: is there a price for it you'd be willing to pay? ^^

Stranger: Sacrifice

You: like?

Stranger: my life

You: wow that's a heavy one...

You: so you're saying freedom is more important than just you?

Stranger: For sure

You: wow, I'm impressed

You: I feel like I am too selfish for something like that

Stranger: We're all selfish here and there, but we need to perform when it counts

You: I'm not sure if there's a cause I'd be willing to die for

Stranger: Where are you from?

You: us

Stranger: So in order for me to defend your Freedom, I choose death

You: hm? can you explain?

Stranger: Sure, freedom is not free, it costs

Stranger: someone has to pay the price

You: yup, I recognize there's a cost

You: but what do you mean by choosing death?

Stranger: I'm a Christian, death is funny to me

You: really?

Stranger: Or rather to say

Stranger: I'll laugh when it comes for me

You: oh, I don't think death is very funny

Stranger: I'll laugh at it because it won't trick me

You: what is there to trick about death?

Stranger: it controls you by fear and other inspirations, but Jesus is the conqueror of the concept of death, He is beyond it

You: I see

Stranger: I subscribe to something higher than death

You: hmm, I'm not always afraid by my death, but sometimes moreso for the death and wellbeing of my loved ones, if that makes sense?

You: like for me, my family is more important than freedom

Stranger: Yes, I understand you. It's not easy

Stranger: It shouldn't

Stranger: You need to understand the priority

Stranger: if there is no freedom, your family could be in great danger

You: can you explain more?

Stranger: by protecting freedom

Stranger: you protect your family

You: mhmm maybe you need to give an example ^^

Stranger: Read a little bit history, it's one of the greatest teachers of life. The moment tyranny appears, death follows suit very fast

Stranger: So you need to maintain that freedom

Stranger: in order for the ones you care about

Stranger: not reaching a premature death

You: hmm is there a certain kind of freedom that is most important to you?

Stranger: Individual liberty for sure, the American constitution is built upon Judeo-Christian values and Greek logic

You: hmm do you think you will ever have kids?

Stranger: Probably not, while I am sad that I am not from America. I actually have a goal of coming and becoming a seal

You: oh... is that even possible?

Stranger: yes, only if I acquire a green card though

You: what I wanted to ask is if that if you had kids, and they wanted to do something you didn't agree with saying that they wanted to exercise their freedom of X what would you do?

Stranger: let them, because that's the freedom I subscribed too

Stranger: just warn them of the potential dangers

Stranger: but let them

You: is there a certain age you would allow them?

You: what if they are like... young...

Stranger: Of course not, not until they become legal. However, if you're a good parent (gonna use an analogy here)

Stranger: If you buy your kid a skateboard for example

Stranger: and he starts being wild and not listening

Stranger: you stop him and you tell him

Stranger: If you continue to do this, you will get hurt

Stranger: Eventually he is going to fall

Stranger: and understand your words

Stranger: So let them experience this minor pain while they are young

Stranger: to understand the importance of not being arrogant

You: idk I can't help but feel nervous

You: like what if it leads to something worse

Stranger: pain is a good teacher, don't worry

Stranger: because it's very real

You: mhm... but I mean... some things are like a step away from really really bad

You: like suppose your kid starts hanging out with druggies

Stranger: you should still impose your will on him because he is too young to actually have the awareness of what is going on

Stranger: those people could be brainwashing him as well

You: I think it gets hard as they get older

Stranger: It does, but there is nothing you can do about it. If he wants to be a bad human being, let him

Stranger: He will definitely receive signs of his wrongdoing

Stranger: even without you

You: I don't know, it's not something that's easy to just let go just because you say it

Stranger: Because you're a parent, I understand

You: (I'm actually not a parent >.<)

Stranger: oh

You: idk I just worry about a lot of things

You: I see things and then I wonder what would happen if it happened to me or close to home

Stranger: The parents should start having a relationship with their kids and take them seriously from a very young age

Stranger: you want to be the role model for your kid

You: I've seen a lot of parents who are really successful yet their kids turn out kind of sour

You: I'm not sure how it happens

You: it's actually a little bit scary

Stranger: success does not mean that they gave that kid what he really needed

Stranger: If he's not going to find love and understanding at home

Stranger: he is going to try and find it somewhere else

Stranger: those druggies

Stranger: give him the attention he needs,the love he needs

Stranger: even though it's horrible

You: what kind of love do you think boys need?

You: I feel like there gets to an age when boys don't really like to be seen with their moms

You: that kind of thing

You: idk the teenage thing

Stranger: That's fine, those are minor things which we experience because of the peer pressure in school and how others act

Stranger: if you build a strong foundation with your child

Stranger: even that can be avoided

You: What exactly do you mean by a strong foundation?

Stranger: there is nothing a kid needs more than understanding and love

Stranger: if you don't take a child seriously

Stranger: it hurts him more than you think

You: hmm what kind of family did you grow up in?

Stranger: Lovely on my mothers side, was given unconditional love

Stranger: but I was tortured by my father

Stranger: He is a high organized drug criminal and violent human being

You: oh..

Stranger: So I experience heaven and hell when I was young

You: what did he do?

Stranger: kidnappings, tortures etc.

You: wait rly?

Stranger: yes

You: ...

Stranger: is it that surprising lol?

You: a bit yeah

You: where are you from?

Stranger: Serbia

You: I didn't realize serbia was like that

Stranger: It was

Stranger: at that time, very corrupt

Stranger: my father was above the law

You: how did you end up coming to the us?

Stranger: I didn't, I'm still here, my wish is to get there

You: ohh I thought you were already here and trying to get a greencard

You: is the immigration process difficult?

Stranger: I will be trying after the 2020 elections and after the whole covid thing clears out

You: right

Stranger: It is a bit difficult, but I understand America for it

You: understand america for... the immigration difficulties?

Stranger: it's not impossible for me to come to America, however they have a very good and useful level of inspection and deduction as to who they let in their country

You: is there a problem with your application?

Stranger: No, hopefully I knock it out the park when I do. I will probably going to the American embassy to apply after all the politics and covid clears out

Stranger: be going*

You: right, well I wish you the best

You: what are you on this tag normally for?

Stranger: I just do politics/religion. Do you use discord by chance?

You: no I don't continue anything on omegle anywhere else

You: religion as well?

Stranger: Oh alright, understandable

Stranger: yeah

You: ahh I forgot that you mentioned that you were Christian

You: are people very christian in serbia?

Stranger: Yeah, mostly Orthodox , almost 85% of the country

You: mhm

You: I feel like politics and religion are very controversial tags on omegle

You: do you like arguing with people?

Stranger: I like people like you, rational and calm

Stranger: and the conversation just flows

Stranger: But there are those which are very dynamic and rude

You: lol

Stranger: So I just adapt to their personality

You: I see

You: do you have very strong political or religious beliefs?

Stranger: Well, I'm Christian. Most of my political values would be derived from that as well

You: I see, though do you have some examples?

Stranger: well, lets say the example of the whole abortion problem

Stranger: I'm pro-life

You: mhm is serbia pro-life or pro-choice mostly?

Stranger: mostly pro-life

You: ahh

You: I feel like the US is drifting left though

Stranger: Well, that's the beauty and freedom of the U.S

Stranger: all are allowed to express their freedom

Stranger: even though it can be disgusting here and there

You: mhm so you're okay with the complicated political situation? haha ^^

Stranger: I mean listen, I personally dislike it a lot

Stranger: But if that's what those people want to do, let them

Stranger: as Newton said

Stranger: For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction

Stranger: Everything you do has a consequence

You: yup

You: so what makes you want to leave serbia in particular?

Stranger: While I do love my people and I am a patriot. They are not really going in the right direction and maybe I could eventually do something from them from America

Stranger: for them*

You: your family?

Stranger: mother and grandmother

You: ahh is it mostly for a financial thing?

Stranger: No, not really. We are having troubles in one of our provinces if you can call it like that

You: troubles?

Stranger: Yeah, in a decade or so there could be possible war coming which I do want to support

Stranger: But If it could be stopped

Stranger: it would be better

You: possible war...

You: how so?

Stranger: I mean, Trump is helping us a lot in negotiations with Albanian terrorists

Stranger: however Trump will be gone in 2024

Stranger: So it's all about time

You: I see... I don't know very much about this

Stranger: Better not to honestly, Kosovo is a place of massive bloodshed. If the place of the fallen there could speak

Stranger: It would scream

You: I'm still curious if you're willing to explain

Stranger: There were wars there already, many horrible bloodshed took place

Stranger: we sacrificed a lot

Stranger: while it was a pleasure for them to lose theirs

Stranger: we won but at a great cost

You: I see...

Stranger: So many civilians killed over there...

Stranger: innocent people

Stranger: with families

Stranger: just because of their nationality

Stranger: kids

You: I feel like I don't know enough history

Stranger: Possibly, but you can always learn bit by bit

You: yeah I would like to if I can

Stranger: Of course you can, use the internet. It's the greatest tool for history now

You: yeah haha I'm googling what I can right now lol

You: so why does trump support albania but not biden?

Stranger: He supports Serbia, not Albania

You: serbia

You: sorry

Stranger: It's fine

Stranger: While if you want the honest truth

Stranger: American democrats are the ones who actually fueled Albanian terrorists with guns

Stranger: So

Stranger: Not all democrats are bad

Stranger: But the Clintons were pure evil

You: hmm I'm not sure I understand though. Isn't it a republican presidency right now?

You: Or are you saying under obama the US sent albania weapons?

Stranger: Yeah but these terrorists started in Bill's time

You: oh okay

Stranger: Bill actually bombarded us during our war in Kosovo

Stranger: he is responsible for killing innocent human beings as well

Stranger: He called the operation "the Merciful Angel"

You: oh... that sounds terrible

Stranger: Killed a little girl on the toilet when gellers went through the well

Stranger: killed a pregnant woman as well, a piece of metal went through her brain

Stranger: Bill Clinton is an animal

You: Are you from kosovo?

Stranger: I'm near it

Stranger: From Nis

You: I see (I have no idea exactly where that is haha)

Stranger: just a bit north from the borders of Kosovo, a larger town of Serbia

You: mhm

You: thanks for explaining this to me btw, I will try to read more about it

Stranger: Do inform yourself so that political deceptions don't cloud your judgement

You: mhm... I think politics is difficult

Stranger: It is, and a waste of time if you want my honest opinion

You: lool

You: idk, I try to learn more, but sometimes I guess I only find out there's less I know

You: and then it's even harder to decide what I support lol

Stranger: Support what's right and what is in direct relation with freedom

Stranger: you don't need to know much

Stranger: just look at their policies

Stranger: they can't lie about that

You: ^^ I think americans can sometimes live in a bubble. A lot of us have no idea about international affairs

Stranger: Actually that is a good point

Stranger: many of you don't know about international affairs

You: yeah lol

You: I think it

Stranger: You're quite a sane and rational person

Stranger: I like you

You: it's harder to know what's real and not real these days too

Stranger: I haven't run into such a person on omegle in quite a while

You: have you been here for a long time lol?

Stranger: I just come from time to time

Stranger: I knew about the site for a long time

You: mhm me too, although there were many years I didn't come here

Stranger: how old are you by the way?

You: 26

Stranger: I'm 24

You: ohh so 1999 you must have been very young

Stranger: 4 years

Stranger: but I was quite aware of what was going on

You: right

You: yeah idk lol I'm not sure if I have solid memories from when I was 4 lol

You: but I can't imagine what it must have been like

Stranger: It sicks to you because it's quite an intense situations where you all run and bombs are falling on your head you know

Stranger: haha

You: wow that's terrible

Stranger: Yeah, one of our most memorable days of the 99 bombardment was that on saint Nikola's day

Stranger: No one died from the bombs

Stranger: and mines

You: mhm that sounds like something

Stranger: I was so calm even though people were panicking

You: it's scary though!

Stranger: Yeah but I was 4, didn't understand the seriousness of it

You: yeah

Stranger: It was like watching a real life movies. I remember my grandma hugging me and she started crying in the dark

Stranger: I cried with her as well

You: mhm

You: this is hard for me to process

You: but I really appreciate you sharing this

You: how did you not end up hating the US?

Stranger: Of course, if one life becomes aware of this, many things can change

Stranger: Many Serbs did, but I don't hate the US

Stranger: I just know that Bill Clinton is a savage animal

Stranger: with no regard for human life

You: mhm

You: yeah it's scary

Stranger: Yeah it definitely was.. people died.. massive inflation because we had a ton of sanctions on us

Stranger: Hard times

You: I don't know, seriously

You: I just think it's sad all around

You: it's hard to know what's the right thing to do

Stranger: Keep in mind, most Americans don't because the news portrayed us as barbarians in America

You: yeah, I figured that was the case from Wikipedia

Stranger: That's why Serbs dislike America itself a lot

Stranger: because it purposefully lied to it's people about us

Stranger: while we are the direct opposite

You: yeah... media narratives are scary I think

Stranger: Clinton signed an executive order for the war

Stranger: he didn't even allow Congress to have a word

You: especially because there are definitely people still being hurt

You: mhm

Stranger: It's hard for me to put you into perspective, the pain was really unique

Stranger: to survive through the war

You: yeah, I'm not sure there's any way for me to really understand the pain that you experienced

You: but I think it's helpful for me to hear you anyways

Stranger: Tell me about yourself a bit?

You: mhm me?

You: I'm a first generation descendent of immigrants

You: my parents came from China to the US for graduate school

You: I live in a liberal state and am fairly left-leaning

Stranger: understood

Stranger: Your parents are Chinese right?

You: yup

Stranger: Serbia is very good with China, they support us 100%

You: lol haha

You: idk, my parents left china just towards the end of the cultural revolution

You: they are not very fond of china

Stranger: are you male or female, just wondering?

You: female

Stranger: I thought as much

Stranger: Never had a conversation about parenting before with a male

Stranger: lol

You: mhm lol

Stranger: at least not on omegle

You: yeah idk

Stranger: so what do you , anything you do as a hobby?

You: you emphasized a lot about parenting love, which is nice

You: idk I'm kind of boring. Some writing, reading, introverted things

You: I like learning about peopl

Stranger: I'm an introvert as well

Stranger: Writing as well now

Stranger: doing a web novel

You: ohh do you have a link?

Stranger: It's still not released but you will most likely see it on inkstone.webnovel.com

You: hmm that website sounds familiar

Stranger: The name of the novel is Crimson Veritas

You: okay I will try to remember it

You: webnovel does chinese novel translations do they?

Stranger: yeah

You: ah okay, that's probably why I recognize it

Stranger: The novel will be based on real-life mixed with a bit fantasy

Stranger: hopefully you like reading that

You: mhm I don't really have specific genres I like, so we'll see ^^

Stranger: I want to express abstract ideas through that novel

Stranger: see if people like it

You: mhm that's cool

You: abstract things can be hard!

Stranger: They can, but if you have a good writer and teacher it can become that much easier!

You: very true

You: will you be immigrating by yourself or coming with someone?

Stranger: Alone, I'll support by mother and grandmother from there

You: mhm that sounds intimidating

Stranger: I'm confident and strong, whatever happens, so shall it be

You: so you are thinking to enlist in the navy once you get a greencard or something?

Stranger: I probably want to qualify for the Seals which is at the top of Special Operations

Stranger: but if something else gets in the way

Stranger: I might change my mind

Stranger: I don't want to get tunnel vision

You: mhm I have no idea how someone ends up in seals

Stranger: It's hard, most drop out in pre-qualifications

Stranger: the choose the best of the best

You: I see, so there's kind of like a thing you try to apply for through tests and things?

Stranger: yap

Stranger: pre-test and test

Stranger: making it much harder

You: I wasn't sure if people are just somehow promoted or something haha

Stranger: yeah you can just apply to any branch

You: right

Stranger: you do need to meet the health requirements though

You: I didn't realize you could apply directly to the navy seals though

You: somehow I kind of imagined that people would first enlist and then do some kind of internal transfer, but that's just my imagination

Stranger: Oh no, you just do the pre-test and test

Stranger: during those, most quit

You: mhm makes it straightforward ^^

Stranger: because they put you through high stress situations with extreme pressure

You: right

Stranger: This was a nice conversation

You: were you in the military in serbia?

You: you have to go?

Stranger: no

Stranger: I was just saying

You: oh

You: thanks for answering my questions btw

Stranger: and no I was not in the military because Serbia is now military neutral

Stranger: you can go for like 3 months

Stranger: which is nothing really

Stranger: a waste of time

You: mhm

Stranger: and no problem

You: yeah I don't really know that much about military culture here

Stranger: If you want to learn more about it

Stranger: Just look at MBest11x videos and some of their other channels where they hold podcasts

You: (also I just realized it must be very late for you)

Stranger: don't worry about it, it's 1:40 AM

You: that's pretty late ^^;

Stranger: That's true, I messed up my schedule

You: mhm are you working right now?

Stranger: I like the night though, I like it when it's peace and quite

Stranger: no card and noise

Stranger: Good environment for thinking

Stranger: cars*

Stranger: No, not working right now. Mostly because there is nothing much to do in Serbia. I worked over the internet for a while on some things

Stranger: and then I freelance physical work a couple of weeks ago

You: mhms sounds difficult

Stranger: So hoping to make something out of the novels

You: something like a patreon or something?

Stranger: Yeah, a friend told me that it's not a bad idea to try and make a community around it

Stranger: especially If people like it

You: mhm good luck

Stranger: thank you,appreciated

You: I was looking up the cost of living in serbia haha ^^

Stranger: you're left leaning in politics but you're quite calm and collected, I'm assuming there are still good liberals in America

You: mhm... I think it depends on where you go?

You: I don't think it's as straightforward as all liberals or all conservatives are bad

Stranger: Yeah I would assume so, I don't like the leftists or alt-right people in America

You: if you go to a coastal city or state, most people will probably be liberal

Stranger: but conservatives and liberals were once the center of American politics

You: and people will be more conservative in southern states

Stranger: a balanced power

You: but I've heard that people are very nice down south too

Stranger: you're quite considerate of things you don't know I've seen

Stranger: that's quite a strong trait

You: mhm... thanks

You: I think hearing your kind of stories is why I like omegle most in a sense

Stranger: Yeah, us introverts need to meet somehow right haha?

You: oh lol haha

Stranger: I was just talking to my mom sometime ago

You: yeah I like finding people who think very differently than me or experienced very different things

You: (even if they're rude or mean lol)

Stranger: I told her, how will I ever find a woman with similar values when I'm not putting myself out there to the world

Stranger: It would mean she would do the same

Stranger: and we would never meet

You: hmm? I dunno

You: I think you end up encountering people sooner or later

Stranger: I am more of an ambivert though, I can choose to be introvert or extrovert

Stranger: but I prefer to be intro

You: that's always good for your career if you can be flexible

Stranger: Yeah for sure, having social connections is of great importance especially for business

Stranger: Here, I hope you don't mind listening to a bit of foul language. But this is a video they made for their friends in the army who were in a hot war with ISIS in the middle east

You: okay

Stranger: they are a bit trolly from time to time but they mean good

Stranger: all of them were in hot war

You: I am not easily offended

Stranger: Mat and Jared and the others, you should listen to their stories

Stranger: most of them have fallen friends

Stranger: some without limbs

You: that seems very heavy

You: Matt Jared...?

Stranger: the video I sent you

You: ohh um I didn't get anything

Stranger: this?

You: yeah it's not coming through

Stranger: can you not see it or does it not load?

You: mhm... I just don't get anything?

You: are you on your phone or something?

Stranger: no, PC

You: oh idk... I just didn't get anything

Stranger: https://www.youtube.com/

You: maybe if you send a link

Stranger: watch?v=uWSKdlfiGC8

Stranger: put those two together

You: ah okay

Stranger: Those are the people who sacrifice every day for all Americans

You: the rap is catchy

Stranger: yeah true lol

You: it's not something I normally watch lol but it's well put together

You: oh are they mostly a band?

Stranger: No, they just make it for fun

Stranger: Mat was in the Army Rangers

Stranger: Jared was air-force support

You: mhm

Stranger: They put together a multi-million dollar company from that black rifle coffee

Stranger: never tried it before

You: yeah I never heard of it

Stranger: Since it's not internationally distributed

You: I wonder where they are based

Stranger: They are veterans

Stranger: no longer in army

You: yup

You: sorry I meant their company

Stranger: oh sorry lol

Stranger: Uhh, Texas I believe

Stranger: but don't hold me true for it

Stranger: It might be somewhere else

You: utah it seems

Stranger: Oh

Stranger: Yeah they all moved near to Evan but it seems the company is somewhere else

You: yeah who knows where companies are registered

Stranger: yeah that's true, geographically sometimes it might be better to register somewhere else

You: mhm

Stranger: for distribution

You: and tax laws and other things

Stranger: that too, even more important

You: I think it is common for people to register companies in delaware even though the actual company is nowhere close to there

You: anyhow, I should probably get going!

You: I don't want to keep you so late either lol >.>

Stranger: It's all good

Stranger: thanks for the beautiful conversation

You: mhm thanks for sharing everything that you did

Stranger: God bless girl, all the best!

You: have a good night!

Stranger: !!

Stranger has disconnected.

0 notes

aprindea · 6 years

Text

Romania vs Cardassia Prime

It is actually surprisingly difficult to organize all the different aspects of this into one coherent essay so this will probably be in 2 parts. I think quite a number of you have heard me draw similarities between Cardassian culture and political climate and Romanian culture and political climate (specifically during the tail “end” of the Cold War era). It comes to no surprise because dictatorships have similar features even in sci fi literature/movies/tv shows, but, let’s start with the basics. In Romania during the communist period: there are actually several periods but two are official because the country changed its name from Romania to:

-People’s Socialist Republic of Romania (1947-1965) -Socialist Republic of Romania (1965-1989)

The two periods are actually fairly distinct, but the period I will be talking most from is the Socialist Republic of Romania. Effectively, I did not grow up “during the Communist period”, but I was taught by teachers who were and the influence was far reaching. My parents, however, did grow up during the Communist period. My mother was born in the same year as Madonna. My father was born two years prior. At that time, Communism had been in effect since 1947. This is just to give people an idea of how relatively quickly things became “normal”.

“Nothing comes before the Party and the State”. These are the first two priorities for any citizen. For reference, the Communist Party is the ONLY acceptable political party at this point. There is only ONE candidate at the polls but people are required to actually go out and vote so that the numbers, for a while, showed a 98% or 99% “vote” for a specific candidate. (First was Gheorghe Gheorghiu Dej and then Ceauseascu).

The third priority is the Family. The Party did award large families with certain benefits, including money, so that they lived above the poverty level. Large families were considered as 10+ children and came with a commendation from the government (a medal) for the “work serving the State”. There are, at this point, several awards and commendations issued.

My grandfather received several for his work in his industry (he literally built part of the industry in my city of birth and had 5,000 people under him), which he sincerely considered worthless garbage. I have a different perspective than he did and we argued many times about it.

My parents’ schooling, jobs and places to live were decided by their family situation to an extent but to a greater extent by the State. My parents were admitted into university (Polytechnique is the equivalent) based on the number of placements which the State predicted to be required for very specific projects. As a result, the marks of the newly admitted students mattered greatly, as the project one would be assigned to could be in a better city or worse city. My parents were in their early 20s when they married and as a result were assigned together in the same city, but based on my mother’s marks and my grandfather’s work position, which guaranteed them both jobs. One could not be without a job; there were three shifts where my mother worked, for instance: 8 AM to 4 PM, 4 PM to 12 AM and 12 AM to 8 AM. Monday-Friday. Weekends were for volunteering (you guessed it, each citizen was assigned a volunteer position until they had children). The State located people who were unemployed and assigned them into jobs constantly, but there was some logic to this because one was assigned a job based on their education. My parents were both engineers, which was a reputable field; both worked in automotive. At that time, Romania produced its own cars, trucks, etc but we still did import some models and my grandfather would later win a French car from the lottery. This was unusual because by then (70s) the country was beset with isolationist policies as a result of Russian interests and isolationist policies. (if you want to know more just look up Brezhnev… a lot of things will then start making more sense). Post communism, as students, we were all constantly evaluated with tests and compared against each other from a very young age. Standardized tests were and are still a matter of course in Romania. Each year, we had exams and in my school, the “passing grades” were far above 51% as we were competing with each other for a very limited amount of spots. For example, I was in a class of 30 students, and my marks had to be above 80% at the end of each year, but I competed for a spot at the end of 4th grade and was to compete again for a different spot for high school (same school) at the end of 8th grade. These were standardized tests for several subjects, so a lot of us spent long hours in tutoring to ensure that our grades were up to par. We also had behaviour marks: if we skipped school (unacceptable) or talked back (we could be hit for this as punishment: that’s the only thing that has been a visible change since I was in 4th grade vs 8th grade for me because the Ministry of Education passed laws against it. But I was hit in 4th grade. Hard and more than once. Once I distinctly remember it happened because I stood up for a classmate. I got in trouble for doing this more than once in my school career, but … I never quite learned that lesson lol! Class punishments for one student’s transgression remained common, but no hitting.) In Canada I explained the above to my therapist and she was kind of shocked, lol, but she had asked me how long I had been struggling with anxiety and I did not have an accurate answer. Mental illness in Romania is not and was definitely not acceptable during the Communist period. People were put into forced care, which often lasted for months or years, if they weren’t outright killed. LGBTQ+ people were never permitted out of the closet, and they were subjected to conversion therapy. (I argue that the latter would not happen on Cardassia Prime, but that’s another essay for another day)

Everything was rationed, especially starting mid 1970s. That means food was rationed (people had cards with lists that were checked off by government workers, if I find a copy of ours I’ll post it) gas was rationed (no more than 2 large flat metal cans per vehicle and gas stations were extremely far apart) and the government set up a system for clothing: if one had had a baby, a family member could collect a baby box which could contain anything from pacifiers to formula bottles, to formula and baby food and possibly blankets. No regular citizen was ever to be informed on what exactly they were going to receive. I asked my mother what my box contained and she told me my grandfather lined up for it and the workers recognized him and she believes they may have given him a better one/extras. We’re not entirely sure, but mine was useful. It had a pacifier I never used, a formula bottle (we still have that) and a few other things.

There is no church and no religion which can come before Party or State. The Orthodox Church is the official state religion, but it is in and out of favour depending on how much they can “serve”. Every citizen MUST serve The Party and the State fully. This meant everyone over the age of 18, voting age, is a member of the Communist Party. (my parents and their parents were members; I am certain my grandmother burned her party ID card after December 1989 :) ) Socially it was more acceptable to be Atheist. So you are probably wondering: how did the State effectively control people for that long? -propaganda; this was present everywhere from the more subtle (posters in the workplace) to more obvious (party meetings, union meetings, schooling) -The Securitate (this is that Obsidian Order). I often joke about the Obsidian Order. A lot of people probably would get upset with me, but the truth is that most of us bore the weight of the Securitate by making dark jokes about them because there was little choice. Many people disappeared without a trace and this happened pretty frequently. My grandfather told me of many arrests which would happen in the middle of the night. The next day, everyone (co-workers, family members, etc) were to pretend that the person who had been arrested never existed. That’s not an exaggeration. Most homes were miked/bugged so one’s phone conversations were recorded. Additionally (or perhaps even more importantly), family members were enlisted to report each other. So, mother reported son/daughter and children were expected to do the same. Another way in which people were recorded was in the workplace and restaurants. Specifically, a clear, good quality microphone was placed in or under flower vases in restaurants, and restaurant owners were directed to place a flower vase on each and every table. That’s a small example :) .

The members of Securitate did not have uniforms normally because they were practically undercover at all times; they also received information via travelling and talking with regular people as if they were having a friendly conversation, or playing with children in parks. (surprisingly effective) However, the Securitate did have military/army designations, such as “Lieutenant”, “Major”, “General”. My grandfather, one time, in an act of open defiance, actually raised his voice at two agents who were talking on the same line he was using. He knew he was being recorded, but he was trying to conduct business for the day… and the two agents had been making weekend plans… he never heard them again. After the 1989 Revolution (or Coup d’etat), my grandfather continued to openly greet former Securitate members in public by their former designation. Many of them were old men by the late 90s. He always told me, after we’d part with such people, that I must continue to be careful, lest I be followed, watched and reported on. He frequently insulted them with information he’d obtain through unofficial channels… but although he was offered better pay, positions in the Party and a job, he’d turned it down saying he was “an engineer” and “I am better serving as an engineer for the State”.

I can and will answer questions about any of this. (Part two will be at some other point in time... if anyone is interested in reading another 1500 words...)

#cardassia #obsidianorder #romania #star trek ds9 #amwriting #aprindea

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fultas01 · 7 years

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Hi Reader!

Today I’m continuing the Blog challenge with talking about cultural differences. I feel like most of my blog posts talk at least in part to some differences in cultures, but today I will be focusing on this quote:

“Culture is central to what we see, how we make sense of what we see, and how we express ourselves.“

It’s a deep thought, before coming to Moldova I had some cultural sessions back in the states, and in these sessions we discussed some different ways to approach observing and talking about cultures (the Iceberg and DIVE models come to mind). While I will never be able to see the views of my host country in the exact same way as my host family (I have my own culture that I see everything through as well), I can appreciate the changes and do my best to describe these differences.

Disclaimer time, I don’t mean for any of my thoughts to be seen as an insult, slight, or in any bad light. I will share my personal experiences in the country, but don’t take my word as law (that would be a single story). So take what I say here with a grain of salt, and realize that I’m having a unique experience that can’t be replicated. If anything I say come off as hurtful or misleading, I apologize. I love my host country, and I’m rather fond of my home country (depending on the day, lol).

This post is part of Blogging Abroad’s 2017 New Years Blog Challenge, week three: Cultural Differences.

Actual post begins here:

Comparing US and Moldovan cultures

As you can imagine, there are a lot of differences between the small agriculture based country in eastern Europe known as Moldova and the self-proclaimed super-power known as the US. So when I sat down to think about this blog post I honestly couldn’t think of any one thing. I talked with different volunteers to see what they thought, and I heard a lot of “I don’t know, there’s a lot,” and I heard “It’s more in the small things that are different,” etc. So now it’s up to me to talk about some cultural differences that I have noticed.

Back in the US I lived in a city, Ft Wayne, IN. And now I live in the small village of Gordinesti. So, I feel like I can’t truly comment on differences in the community. I honestly think just about everyone in the community knows me here, but I would have had to be the mayor or a local celebrity to be so well known in Ft Wayne. This is just due to the size of the community. So, no, I don’t have the same kind of knowledge base to make that comparison.

Parkview Field Aerials 2009

Two pictures of my village, and one of downtown Ft Wayne

There are differences in the work, and in working conditions, but I believe that these have a lot to do with a lack of funding, not in cultural differences. Due to how poor the area is the school can’t be kept at a toasty 69 degrees (F) like they are in the states. No, we work bundled up in coats, scarves, and sometimes hats and gloves. I wouldn’t be surprised if these conditions were still seen in poorer areas of the US. The school has a similar feel to that of one in the US, the students act like students. Some days they want to learn, some days they don’t. Having an American, while novel, isn’t seen as a huge deal. I still have a boss (they are called the directors and adjunct directors, but that can be basically seen as the principal and vice principals/other administrative staff). So, not that different.

Some pictures of school in Moldova, surprisingly I still don’t have a picture of the outside of the building to share, or any good pictures of my classroom now that we have taken the French flags and other decorations off the walls.

Moving around the country is a little different from in the states. Taking a 3.5 hour rutiera ride isn’t my favorite mode of transportation , but it could be compared to the Grey Hound system. When there is a derth of cars to take people across the country, you need a system, and Moldova has it in the form of rutiera. While I would prefer my car, it gets the job done just the same.

Some pictures from riding rutieras, in the summer they are hot sweaty death, in the winter they range from slowly freezing to uncomfortably warm.

No, the big cultural difference that still surprises me from time to time is the family unit. I currently live in a three generation household. Something that, in my experience, is pretty rare in the states. Or at the least, not common. This is the norm here. Bunica and Bunele live in the casa mica, Mom and dad live in one room of the main house and the siblings share another room. There are 7 of us all within 100 square feet. It’s a tight family unit. Not to mention how often I see the other relatives, we live with my host dad’s parents, but we visit my host mom’s mother and grandmother (4 generations in that house) at least once a week.

Back in the US I might have seen my grandmother once every other month, here I see her every single day. The family unit is really important here in Moldova, everyone helps each other. Of the young adults that I know here many of them live with their families to this day and the only thing that would make them consider moving is to find a job. Many of my students talk about the village as a place where their families are, so they have no intention to leave (or at least not for very long). They want to make money, but they also want to be where they can help their families. While to some in the US, this doesn’t sound too different, but to me I couldn’t wait to move out and away.

My host sister wants to be a doctor, and she is already thinking about where she would go to school here in Moldova, then she wants to come back and work in this area so she’s close to her family. Compare that to me, who is currently 7 time zones away from my nearest relative. I miss my family members, but I don’t miss Angola, or even really Indiana. But I think that if my host family were gone from Gordinesti for 7 months (like I have been gone) they would miss their homes more than I do. Case and point, my bunica just came home after being gone for a month and she is already out visiting all the relatives and neighbors to see what has changed while she was gone.

Homework every night is a family event (me included) as the kids ask for homework help, and the parents listen to make sure everything is getting done correctly. I like this time, because it helps me to learn new Romanian, but its also a neat cultural experience seeing five members of the family huddled together to give the kids their attention and get some work done. Not to mention the amount of praise that goes into doing the work. Another comparison to me, I think I stopped asking for homework help from my mom by middle school. While my parents always praised me when I did well in school, I think that they were more interested when I didn’t do well in school. They wanted to know why I didn’t excel in a specific area (something that I haven’t found here. If one of my host siblings does poorly in one area, its shrugged off and they just keep working at all the areas again).

It’s not that families in the US don’t bond, its not even that my family in the states isn’t tight. Its just the idea of leaving family or not helping your family seems to be different. I’m not sure if a Moldovan from my village would really ever consider volunteering like I am (leaving their families for 27 months and not making money to send to that family). The communities are changing as the younger generation leaves the country to find employment. But even as they do, most of that generation will send money back to Moldova, or they talk to their family once a day…. I might talk to my mom once a week, which I think is fine! Either way, I have a family here in Moldova now, whether I wanted one or not.

Some family and some home here in Moldova.

A final note:

A day ago, I received news that my dad was in the hospital and in serious condition. I was upset and locked myself in my room until I heard more info, and I can honestly say that I had never felt the distance from home so acutely. I was trying to think about how long it would take for me to get back home if things turned worse, and I didn’t like the outcome, since it would likely take me at least 2 days, and likely closer to 4 or 5. Thankfully things seem to be okay right now, but as I sat down to finish this post I couldn’t stop to think about the family expectations here and in the US.

What would my host siblings do if there was an accident with their dad? Well, for starters I don’t think they would be halfway across the world. And if they were, I think they would be returning home right now. But that’s just a guess, and while I’m staying put and continuing my service, I’m paying close attention to some of these cultural differences to see what I can take home with me.

Thanks for reading,

Angela

A kilometer in Another’s shoes Hi Reader! Today I'm continuing the Blog challenge with talking about cultural differences. I feel like most of my blog posts talk at least in part to some differences in cultures, but today I will be focusing on this quote:

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