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lanamemories2 · 4 years

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rides onto the dash nude n on horseback like this pic of sam way. oh fancy seeing u here.......... im impeccably tensed our entire exchange. buns like steel cld crack a nut open between them. i’m nai n it’s so nice to meet u all!!!! i’m one of the admins here (josefine frida pettersen on the main) n i’m so Excited 2 get things going........... some facts abt me r i sometimes hv a witch’s cackle, i once drunkenly swung frm a tree branch pretending to b tarzan n fell n grass stained my fav jeans at 4 in the morning n i lov spicy food despite the fact it mkes me sweat like a hog in the sun. more abt lana under the cut!!! also like this or hmu if u wna plot n her pinterest is here n playlist is here 👺🌚

「kristine froseth & cis-female」⇾ jameson , lana, the junior radcliffe student’s records show that she is a gemini and 22 years old. she is studying dance, living in off campus and can be vivacious, passionate, childish & impulsive. when i see her i am reminded of stepping out in the cold wearing just a red slip, lipstick on a stranger’s throat, a bumper sticker on the back of a convertible cadillac that says ‘SCRAPPY DOO IS A FILTHY SLUT’. ⇽「nai & 23 & gmt & she/her.」

AESTHETICS:

scalding your fingers in shower water until they glow like rudolph’s nose, cherry red gym socks tugged high and nothing else, stepping out in the cold wearing just a red slip, an origami swan made from an old receipt, tickling a stranger’s chin with the end of a feather boa, crowning each finger with a miniature raspberry, hugging a knee close to lick a stripe of fruit juice off a bruise there, doodling penises in the condensation of a car window, a water pistol topped with rum and covered in glittery pin-up stickers, believable smiles that feel more like baring teeth, a bumper sticker on the back of a convertible cadillac that says ‘SCRAPPY DOO IS A FILTHY SLUT’, prancing around in your underwear to a vinyl record with the curtains open.

HISTORY:

lana grew up in a big house in albany, NY. albums framed on the walls. mayb some rolling stone covers too frm way bk when of the bands her dad’s label signed. kind of like… a rock star palace w no evidence of children at all. i think i summarised it best in one of lana’s self paras once when i said the garden ws “as big as it was unloved”, not that u wld know from all of the gardener’s pruning

lana’s mum victoria (vic) ws a music journalist w a pretty fruitful career ahead of her when she met lana’s dad richard (rich). his record label ws jst starting out, founded on the coattails of his rich best friend’s (jensen peters) investment w his other best friend (who he jst calls knoxville). it rocketed to success when they signed poppy injects, a rock band w an electric stage presence, n victoria ws drawn to the glitz n glamour of a man tht ws at the helm of his aspiring industry. their love ws very impulsive, all or nothing right frm the start, n it ws almost like she ws mre in love w his accomplishments n what he represented than him

anyway so jameson records repped a few big rock bands bk in the eighties, altho poppy injects r who they’re mostly known fr, namely bc of hw brightly they crashed n burned. (drugs/addiction tw) they were a big chart success bt the lead singer hd quite an intense struggle w heroin (wsnt rly subtle abt it either while he ws in the public eye as u cn probably imagine frm such an on-the-nose band name) n he ws always in n out of the papers. it eventually brought down his career n it ws a big publicity nightmare

lana pretty much… grew up around figures like this throughout childhood. rly troubled characters who wld kind of… b extremely volatile n destructive abt their troubles. the jameson house was kind of an open one as welcoming clients went n a lot of parties took place there. a lot of the time musicians wld b snorting lines in the kitchen when she wnted to grab a bowl of cereal fr breakfast. very strange environment fr a child to grow up in

her parents always kind of jst… didn’t like her much. her older brother caleb ws unplanned bt they sort of welcomed the surprise more bt… quickly realised they weren’t cut out fr parenthood n then when lana came as another surprise 3 yrs later they didn’t even try to hide their resentment abt the situation. her mum ws actually booked in to have an abortion bt cldnt go through with it at the last minute. once when lana asked her why shes so cold towards her she jst turned her head frm her dresser, looked at her, told her abt this n said “idk why i didn’t go”. lana didn’t kno wht to say to tht so she jst left her room n closed the door

(dissociation/delusion tw) bc of this growing up lana adopted this weird like…. she didn’t rly kno what it ws bt it ws a delusion of sorts where she thought she ws a ghost. she’d jst sort of… drift around the halls w noone acknowledging her n sometimes she ws jst convinced she wsnt actually there or they cldnt see her n she ws jst haunting the house frm a previous family

the one saving grace tho tht sort of?? gt her thru this n made her feel Seen ws caleb. lana quite genuinely hs always thought the sun shines out of her older brothers ass like she jst thinks. hes the best person in the entire world. wld b rly bewildered if anyone questioned tht. he wld always look out for her in the zoo they called a home n cut the crusts off her PBJs so they lkd like teddy bears (he’d cook fr them most of the time bc their parents were too busy/didn’t care to) n sometimes wld even sleep at the bottom of her bed curled up like a guard dog. it ws always lana n caleb n his best friend tommy against the world in tht house (tommy lived next door n was always over bc he had very strict parents / a military father tht he found suffocating)

SO when caleb n tommy announced tht they’d signed up to the army lana ws understandably…….. blindsided. she ws rly upset tht they were leaving like pretty besides herself bt she tried not to b mad at them n made them promise theyd b safe n back as soon as possible. she even asked if they cld somehow take her w them n they were jst like :/ it doesn’t work that way luv x

(death tw, ptsd tw, grief tw, trauma tw, hospitalisation tw, drugs tw) anyway caleb ended up getting discharged under grounds of severe ptsd when he witnessed tommy die in an explosion tht took place in a shock raid. caleb returned home sans tommy bt he was never the same after tht. he’s been in n out of hospital n he turned to using as a way to cope so it’s been a rly bumpy road since. lana kind of felt like two of her brothers died out there in a way n jst like tht it wasn’t them vs the world any mre, it was jst her

ANYWAY whew tht rly…. took a dark turn there….. chuckles nervously at hw sad lana’s life is bt it’s fine it’s all fINE!!!!!!! ok. so on a mre lighthearted note the jameson family r pretty well off n bc of her relation to such a big music industry figure she’s hung out w a fair few relatively high rep ppl thru her teens. mostly kids of celebrities n stuff like tht. she amassed kind of an instagram following mainly fr her style (penny lane-esque in some aspects aka lots of fur cuff trimmed jackets bt then also jst…. a wild combination of everything honestly. pastel faux fur coats, seventies style platforms, flame red cowboy boots, pink fishnet tights n glitter used like highlight Everywhere) n bc she’s undeniably Pretty Gorl

(trauma tw) after caleb got back he was rly withdrawn n depressed. he shut lana out n was kind of harsh to her a lot of the time, always telling her to leave him alone or pushing her away. it didnt help either tht lana had a rly traumatic experience w some of her dad’s colleagues at the label when she ws 16 n he was away n she cldnt even tell him abt it once he was bk bc of his own traumas. she kind of jst shut it all in n kept it to herself

(hypersexuality tw) this obviously?? made her spiral a lot. she was already a girl tht loved sex but since her trauma it got…. completely out of hand. it got to a point where she couldnt rly go 2 days without it, probably not even 1. her lowest point has probably been scrolling thru craiglist for anonymous encounters n meeting up w strangers on there fr hookups even tho it’s insanely dangerous n she cld wind up getting herself killed. the risk is honestly part of the appeal to her sometimes she’s :////// quite self destructive n jst likes a thrill to mke her feel Alive. it’s v clear at this point tht she has a sex addiction whether she’s ever admitted it or not. it kind of… almost mingled w tht same feeling she used to get when she ws younger of being a ghost?? like she jst. only rly feels Real when she’s being touched

(violence tw) she’s had.................... SCH a bad history dating wise. she almost always dates fking.... actual beasts like i jst wna gently shake her by the shoulders sometimes bt :////////////// one of her recent exes is in prison aftr he beat up someone she’d slept w in front of her like she jst. has had a very Not Sexy time w romance...... she hd to b a witness in the trial abt it n he ws found guilty n sent down so it ws like Intense n a gd example of the kinds of disastrous relationships she gets herself into. perks of being a wallflower voice: We Accept The Love We Think We Deserve.

this past summer she gt a job at a burlesque club in downtown lovell!!! it honestly is her dream job like. dancing? being sexy? fav hobbies................. most delicious pastimes... 10/10 ideal fr her............... she almost started working at a coyote ugly bar bt this one won her over. she usually jets off to some foreign country n has a rly exotic n action packed summer bt i think she wldv just been working local there fr this one to b close to her brother (the rehab he’s at is close like a 40 min drive so!). she’s also moved into a big lofty apartment w 3 roommates tht’s above a chinese take out w lots of lanterns hung outside. the street? scott street......................... tribute to mizz phoebe bridgers hunger games salutes to the sky so it travels 2 her............. she gt a red heart shaped bath tub installed which hs always been her dream so honestly the summer hs been pretty gd to her....... five stars on yelp she deserves Some happiness once in a while

PERSONALITY:

always smells vaguely of wild cherries or strawberry starburst or jst the candy aisle in general. if she ws a vinyl record she’d b this one n she’d only play good vibrations by the beach boys, dancing on my own by robyn, play that funky music by wild cherry, femme fatale by the velvet underground n (i can’t get no) satisfaction by the rolling stones

growing up lana was always a HUGE social butterfly. knew everyone n everyone knew her. she ws one of those girls tht ws kind of impossible to ignore or forget (cld b a gd or bad thing depends on ur Stance...... she can be a lot tho frankly). very animated, always made u feel like u were the centre of the universe whenever she spoke to u, always made it feel like u were best friends even if ud only spoken to her once.

deliberately puts on tht kind of Magnetic Alluring act tht femme fatales wear in movies sometimes. kind of…. is always playing A Role of the person tht she wants to b seen as or the person she feels ppl want her to be. chameleons to situations. feels like she’s performed as the vivacious n fun loving Lana Jameson fr so long tht she doesn’t rly kno who she is beneath tht bt she isn’t too keen to find out

always the last one awake at the party. jst doesn’t seem to hv.... an off switch. every1 else cld b passed out at 6am n she’d still b swaying around to sunday morning by the velvet underground in her underwear drinking frm a bottle of merlot

she’s always been rly spontaneous n adventurous. always doing something weird n wild every weekend. she has ten thousand ridiculously absurd n chaotic stories

uncontrollably flirty. she’s tht tumblr post tht’s like flirting will b ur hubris n the reply is like kind of sexy of u to say so................ SO confident cld talk to anyone. makes a joke out of anything. tends to laugh when she feels like crying. even if she DOES cry she’ll smile thru it like it isn’t happening she jst.... doesn’t like to b negative ever if she cn help it

she’s amassed a weird collection of like... Things various ppl she’s known hv made abt her. this guy she ws friends w wrote a song abt her n performed it at a gig she went to without telling her in advance. it ws rly dramatic he sang it n looked at her the whole time n she ws jst a bit like.... omg.... lmfao............... she’s also hd various paintings done of her. i honestly dnt even rly kno hw it happens she jst has a personality where she..... leaves an impression like a lipstick print on a white shirt w some ppl.................. she’s like tht tumblr post where someone arrives at a poetry reading n is like hi yes........ where do the muses sit? except she isn’t rly.... obnoxious abt it she jst shrugs n is like.......... oh that........... KJHSFKHGSFKGHSFKGSFHGK. it’s a charmed life fr some

always dapples her fingers thru the breeze when she’s driving in a car w the window down. she almost always has some sort of sweet on her, whether it’s sour haribo cherries or strawberry lollipops.

PLOTS:

exes tht lana’s fucked over hideously. she’d probably cheat a lot and it’d be a whole…mess. whips her in the town square like gale

mayb someone tht flipped the switch and cheated on her??? chaos. anguish. strife.

someone tht works at the burlesque club in downtown lovell w her!!!!! as like a bartender or another dancer or security or................... whtvr honestly. hvn’t worked out a name fr the club yet bt i think it cld b a fun setting to write stuff in n there cld b lots to build off there!!

a cousin plot cld b fun too

her n freya nilsen run smthn called Dick Sisters Inc......... they hv a twitter fr it n everything.... n a hq based in one of the abandoned dorms in the leach building.... lots of inflatable furniture disco balls.............. lana even gt replica airplane seats so they cn sit n b served drinks by this guy tht runs errands fr them who they call bucket....... they bsically like. set ppl up n help ppl get laid it’s a matchmaking service of sorts.......... started as a joke bt nw it’s genuinely become quite a profitable business w word spreading all over campus........ ugh entrepreneurial icons... anyway mayb ur chara cld come to lana fr Dick Sisters assistance......... mayb they’v come to them in the past.........

a friend tht lana fel out w bc she slept w their significant other.

someone tht’s getting lana into drugs?? she’s kind of impressionable/down for anything so tht’s a likely scenario she’d get into tbh

briefly did camgirl stuff on an independent bt up n coming porn site....... titters.......... mayb ur muse used a pseudonym n recognises lana frm it bt is too embarrassed to admit they were subscribed............ mayb they happened upon her on there once n nw r jst like. what do i do w this knowledge. idk cld b fun to work around perhaps

an unrequited crush!! (either way is cool)

someone tht is just hanging out w her/using her bc she has a lot of instagram followers or they want to b signed to her dad’s label

someone in a band!! she’d probably make like penny lane n b their groupie/sleep w them all i won’t lie to u. relentless.....

umm a good influence too mayb?

honestly?? anything is fine i cld ramble for days. mayb even one of the high profile kids she grew up hangin w idk. world’s our oyster fellas!

#ruhqintro #hypersexuality tw #trauma tw #hospitalisation tw #violence tw #death tw #grief tw #ptsd tw #dissosciation tw #drugs tw #addiction tw #god.... wipes sweat frm my brow after all those tws...... i promise they're all just rly briefly touched upon bt better to b safe than sry!!#also this is truly so long bt............ growls n smirks simultaneously

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starlinfae · 4 years

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Update of sorts. I just found out recently that I've been diagnosed without my knowledge with psychotic personality and mixed personality since at least 2004 (I was diagnosed transgender 2008 though my first visits over that were in 2003 and it was overturned in 2017). Whether I've been knowledgeable in 2004 or 2003 about the first two diagnoses, I do not know but with my current state of being, I do not recall ever being told about those diagnoses or having been treated for either of them at said era or after until 2012 when I had an episode that gave me psychotic personality diagnosis and medication (which nulled my entire sense of self and identity and I lost all talents such as singing and arts and any and all personality traits I identified/identify myself by). And didnt affect however any of the symptoms it was prescribed for.

I had the trauma and dissociation test finished, with the parting words of the nurse admitting based on her idea of the extent of my research into did/osdd (truthfully a few pages on did-research website) that she had a difficult time administering the test and claimed that since childhood I've been without control creating characters (she did not explain where she got this belief) to appeal and try to gain affection from my parents (sounded like kitchen psychology to me and left me entirely confused),while the truth is because of my cult upbringing and unstable mother and the whole religious dynamic pervasive through every single day of my childhood, I would've been making everything worse by play pretending to be a boy toward my parents. (This was the nurses point, that I wanted to be a boy to gain affection as if that would have worked and become a valid method of gaining affection. I have no memories of such nature toward my parents. What I do remember however is macro managing my behaviour by watching my mothers reactions, where she didn't even have to say a word for me to begin changing my behaviour to avoid her flipping on me or punish me for being wrong).

So in short, the nurse said the test indicated zero dissociative symptoms despite the symptoms i told her and I later repeated them to the doctor (she wrote down that my symptoms don't show up in the test as well).

All the interactions of the nurse were leading and suggestive questions that never had a follow up question further than an answer she deemed to support her idea that I don't experience what I experience. As if she has never worked with a trauma patient that predominantly seeks to minimize and deny trauma and triggering experiences by masking them inside a positive thing or twisting it into a positive thing.

Most of the sessions I felt low key attacked and doubted and like I was supposed to know things I have no way of knowing, such as what happens when I experience amnesia or who fronted during the period I experienced amnesia or if someone else in the system knows what has happened during the time of memory loss or how often memory loss occurs (I only became aware of the specific memory loss because it directly involved other people and the appointment times were incorrect compared to which appointment I thought I was going to, if it had never come up the way it did, i never would have caught on the memory loss at all). If I'm the one with the amnesia, how am I supposed to know the answer to these questions?

Or forgetting details such as what lead to my first sex or that I've attempted suicide in the past. Or that I've forgotten one of my elementary school mates (the only real one) had died a year prior to me refinding it out through fb. (I have a memorial necklace charm now, so I won't forget again). Or having ironically good memory of the layouts of the houses I grew up in, except in two of the houses, they both have the same second floor. One is real and the other one, I have no clue where I slept, where I played, who I shared my bedroom with, what happened on that floor, what that floor looked like, where my brothers slept and what did they do day to day. I have zero memories involving that second floor of that house (aside the only one of watching the neighboring house be on blazing fire), where all of us kids still lived at home. I have one hazy memory of my oldest brother (who has been later described by my other brother as generally violent and disturbed toward my other brothers, he almost strangled the third one by hanging him) and that is about him putting so much ketchup on his macaroni that even the dog couldn't stomach it when I took the plate to the dog.

The oldest brother got engaged and moved out while we still lived in that specific house.

Overall I have a good decent amount of memories (where I am either alone, with external people - mainly other children or then feeling rejected, neglected, punished, disapproved of by all family (aside my oldest brother, he's just a black presence that's never in contact with me or any of my memories) including relatives), except any trauma memories (including second hand trauma I have logically witnessed based on the hint memories and what I've been told about our family).

If im telling any "stories" it's one of Nothing bad ever happened in our family and even though I was alone and rejected by everyone, I was a happy kid. Most of my memories are from summer or sunny days.

So I am left hurt, doubted, dismissed and ridiculed even. And I'm leaving things untold that are outright misconduct toward a patient by a medical professional. And I was basically argued and condescended to til the very end and laughed at during a switch (because the doctor didn't understand what the fuck happened during the meeting with the alter who fronted and then us switching and shaking her hand thanking for her time when we were leaving). And these two were supposed to be somehow specialized with dissociative disorders, yet I had to hear how there is zero main criteria that DID has to have and how ICD-10 is just a mix of guidelines and symptoms and differs greatly from DMS criteria and that DID is a very rare disorder, relevantly new diagnosis and is very rarely diagnosed in Finland as if that makes it as rare as their diagnosing of it. And I'm just saying, other diagnosed Finnish people have publicly outright said that if you want help, you ain't gonna get a diagnosis or accurate help through public sector (where I was tested and all the above is from) but that if you want help, you're gonna have to see a private sector doctor. And I can't afford that, unfortunately and I'm so so tired and disappointed and feel unsafe with these people.

My current nurse uses misdirection by disrupting my talking during our sessions by saying irrelevant comments or demanding to finish lengthily their thought that has been established mutually already that it has nothing to do with my situation or the way I cope with things but is how she personally sees it and how it works for her/how she copes and how others cope. And she does this to shut me up. As if I wasn't there for my care and to get help with my problems but socialize with her about what she personally finds works for her and other and how sleeping badly because the brain can't clean itself from gunk can cause memory problems. And she succeeds in shutting me up because she forces me into a social mode/alter instead of listening to the parts that are connected to trauma. So I can't continue talking because I no longer even remember what. The. Fuck. I. Was. Talking. About. I guess my brain is dirty.

The doctor gave us only one diagnosis that is mixed personality disorder and it is described with profound diffusive identity, dissociative symptoms, psychotic personality symptoms.

I'm so fucking exhausted. I haven't wanted to die as many times in my entire life as I have wanted to die these past few months. I've never considered myself suicidal but I just don't want to exist like this anymore. There's no help. No one's offered anything to help with my problems. It's like they haven't heard a fucking thing. "so how have you been feeling?" is the fucking first thing the nurse wanted to focus on. When I told her I shut the whole system down after the diagnosis bc I cant deal with things (because the angry part wouldn't shut up and was making us crazy by going things over and over even though we can't do anything about it and made us completely apathetic we couldn't function) she says "isn't that a good thing?"

ISN'T THAT A GOOD THING??!

Please, I don't know, the fuck, I'm not sure more education is gonna help it. I don't have words left anymore.

#Tw vent #Tw abuse #Shit and #Medical vent

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sarinataylor · 5 years

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Joger ask: how would they cope with Roger having a crisis about the fact that John has written hit singles including their biggest ever hit and he has yet to pop his a-aide cherry? Is he rubbish? Is he really just a pretty face? He knows he brings lots of musical input & the sonic volcano & ‘the girl for everything’ for the band but really, who is he kidding? And John can’t deny that he aced his degree or does the finances or wrote hits... Thankfully Radio Gaga comes along and all ends well...

hmmmm ok. this got? long. very ramble-y. apologies

so like. roger is so fucking proud of john y’know???? and it’s not john’s songs being more successful than his which is cutting deep (because, well, commercial success is somewhat ehh to roger now that they’ve already made it big. the music he’s writing and creating, off on the side, is more about the music than anything else), it’s that he didn’t see it coming

100% did not see aobtd being a hit. hated recording it with his drums taped up, and thought the whole thing was a waste of time which.... it obviously wasn’t because john’s latest royalty cheque was big enough to have even freddie blinking in surprise

and. well. roger’s kind of always been the one with his finger on the pulse, so to speak. roger was riding the early waves of punk before the sex pistols had so much as looked at a safety pin and thought, “hmm, i wonder”. and his ability to keep up with, stay just one step ahead, of the trends has been invaluable in the past and now.... he might be slipping behind?

because even though he fucking hated half of the lines in ymbf he... he knew it was going to be a hit in the US. that sort of soft poppy feel, with a funky little bassline? the american’s eat that shit up in spades. of course it was going to be popular.

but, yeah, he didn’t see aobtd being a hit and now he’s starting to wonder if maybe the reason he isn’t writing hits isn’t because he hasn’t been trying to appeal to the broader audience, hasn’t been trying to write songs that will get massive air time or be played in clubs, but because he’s got no fucking clue about what people want anymore

‘girl for everything.......... except knowing what people want’ doesn’t, uh, sound as good

and it’s not? it’s not a Big Deal, not really. he just gets a little quieter about voicing his opinions on tracks because, well, maybe he doesn’t actually know what the fuck he’s talking about?

and so, hot space

brian’s losing his gd mind arguing with everyone and everything because he feels backed into a corner, freddie isn’t playing the peacekeeping role he usually does, john is being Just a Little Bit of an egotistic shit, and roger is........... not getting involved. which works kind of awfully because both brian and john take his silence as tacit approval of their position, which boils over into a lot of misunderstandings about just what it is roger thinks about what’s going on in the studio

(and mostly what roger thinks about what’s going on in the studio is that this album is going to be a Fucking Disaster because instead of ripping apart one anothers songs and building them back up stronger all they’re doing is ripping into one another and calling it creative differences)

and he tosses up a couple of songs and lets them do what they will with them (and oh my god if you haven’t listened to action this day performed live???? do urself a favour and do it oh my god i fucking hated that song until i listened to it live) because well. they probably know better than he does at the moment, because he doesn’t quite trust himself. and tensions are high enough that inserting himself into the cockfight when he isn’t actually Sure about his opinions just seems an unnecessary risk.

and. uh. hot space...................................................... does as it does

and john is pretty mortified about the whole thing because.... ???? all of that work and fighting and it’s flopping which is. made all the more worse by brian’s oh too casual sympathetic comments during the press junket, and then even worse by the way that roger. doesn’t seem surprised?? because. well. even when it was a love song written about roger roger was honest about what he didn’t like about it, but now there’s a whole fucking album that john pushed really hard for and roger a) didn’t like it and b) didn’t tell him

he thought they respected one another more than that. he thought they were more secure than that.

which sort of........ simmers uncomfortably between them as they gear up for the tour and sort of. explodes when roger starts making suggestions for changes to some of the songs for the live performances that. annoyingly sound much better and why didn’t you bring this up when we were recording the fucking album, roger (look aight atd sounds SO MUCH BETTER LIVE, IT’S BEEN MONTHS AND IM STILL SHOOK)

and roger’s sort pussyfooting around it because oh well... you know you and freddie really wanted to this one as a sort of concept album..... and brian and i didn’t want to interfere...... (brian: very much did want to interfere) ............ so ya know................ it’s not really my style so i didn’t wanna stick my foot where it doesn’t belong.........

and john’s like???? its music what the fuck are you Talking About? you know music you know what sounds good and what doesnt and it’s not like you’ve ever been shy about voicing your opinions before, so forgive me if im a bit confused about the sudden reticence

regardless, it’s Not a Big Deal. no really. roger will insist this til the day he dies

and things calm down? they take a break and, as they are wont to do, the tensions of the band slowly start slipping from john and roger’s day to day lives? like, when they’re not living in close quarters and feeding off of the energies that brian and freddie and mack and everyone else is putting out. it’s just them, yeah?

but anyway, roger’s still been writing music and ha enough for a new solo album so he’s like. yeah. think imma do that and john’s a bit taken aback because? fuck, you’ve been busy then you said you didn’t have much of anything for hot space??? and roger’s like. uh, yup. been busy. busy bee, me. ya know. while ur out painting the shed i gotta keep myself occupied somehow

except. well. john’s obviously lending a hand with bass and mixing, and brian’s in and out too, so’s freddie and. it’s freddie, actually, who picks up that roger had been working on the beat of I Cry for You (Love, Hope and Confusion) back in the studio when they’d been working on hot space which. doesn’t make sense, because he definitely hadn’t shown them it to them which is odd, because roger usually shows them everything he writes in case they want it for queen?

and then brian chimes in because, actually, he recognises the lyrics for killing time?

and john is like what the FUCK is going on because this is just? weird?

so john ends up lowkey cornering him at home in a totally not cool sneaky fashion (read: he gives him a fucking mindblowing orgasm and then is like [head propped on roger’s chest] SO) because???? ofc he supports rog’s solo career but also? why didn’t he share what he was writing with him? what’s going on? music’s always been a language they’ve shared, even if they tended towards different dialects, and now it... well it doesn’t feel very good that roger seems to be inching him out of something that john knows is so very important to him

and roger’s like huh no idea what you’re talking bout. been really busy writing recently. shame though, means i might not have much for the next queen album

and john’s like? do you want to leave queen, if that what this is about?

and roger’s horrified because what the fuck no i’m just not sure i’ll have much to contribute is all which has john like?? because. it’s roger of course he’s got something to contribute what the fuck are you talking about

but roger’s like oh well ya know nothing im really writing at the moment is much of our current style so. that’s cool, though. that’s fine

but john is confused bc well. hot space was a bit of a failure so they’re probably headed back to more consistent waters so that’s not a problem, and hey, maybe if roger had injected a bit more of his style into the album things might have been better right?

ANYWAY basically john’s like yo my man like. if u dont wanna write any material for the new album that’s? fine ig? but we kinda Need You to be a little bitch about the things u dont like because.... things work better when ur being a nitpicky little bitch than when ur being silently supportive of me :) though that was sweet

and rogers like oh i was 100% not being supportive of either u or brian’s bullshit tbh i just. disco isn’t my forte ya know i didn’t wanna chat shit ab smth i know nothing about like, god, imagine if you’d listened to me about aobtd?????????

which. john’s like. i? i mean, i did. fuck sake, the whole thing got rewritten to be about our dog (steve) bc u made a joke about it? i. i did listen to u about aobtd

and john has honestly NO IDEA what any of this is about? because roger has an awful tendency to sit on things until they’re Much Bigger than what they were to begin with. like, john’s actually not great at that? he’s not very good at hiding that he’s angry or upset, not for the long term. roger’s a lot better at it in the worst kind of way, because unless you pick up on it right at the beginning by the time you’ve figured out something’s wrong it’s months down the track and so many micro interactions or events have been tacked onto the Original Problem that it’s a sprawling mess of “i dont want to communicate that im feeling vulnerable about something so instead im gonna try and turn my vulnerabilities into armour” - like deciding to turn all of your writing, not just the stuff that won’t fit on your main project’s albums, into solo material because your solo stuff doesn’t have to be successful

but also, ok fine.

and so he sort of? lets it go? because tbh once roger latches onto something, when u havent go in there early enough? your best bet is to just wait for him to.... get over it. which he generally does. he doesnt have the patience for decade long grudge matches, not really.

and then it all comes to a head when brian writes and shows them all machines (or: back to humans) which obvs came about from an idea of roger’s and. well. freddie thinks its amazing, john is nodding along even as he sends him small little side eyes and well. fuck it, right?

and so the next week he comes in and slams down the first rough draft of radio gaga, the music heavily influenced by I Cry for You (Love, Hope and Confusion) which freddie had been complaining about being used up on a solo album

and then he goes home and tops the hell out of john, the end.

#lo talks #joger hc's #headcanon asks #Anonymous

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uberfluss · 5 years

Note

1-97 xoxo

1. What’s your middle name? i forgot i needed one

2. What are you listening to right now? this baby dont cry by K. Flay!

3. What was the last thing you ate? oatmeal

4. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? my aunt

5. Do you drink? occassionally

6. Do you smoke? nope

7. What is the first thing you noticed in someone? usually their affect

8. What is your hair color? naturally dark brown currently fire engine red that wont fucking fade

9. What is your eye color? blue green grey

10. Do you wear contacts/glasses? both

11. Dogs or cats? cats!

12. What’s your favorite animal?cats oscars or ferrets

13. What’s your favorite television show? myth busters or how its made

14. What’s your favorite movie? beetlejuice!!

15. What’s your favorite band/singer? Billie Eilish Grandson Kflay and Mallrat have been the most recent

16. How old are you? i literally dont know half the time

17. Do you have a crush on anyone? not to my knowledge

18. What’s your sexual orientation? bi

19. What’s your favorite color? honestly i think pink

20. What was your most embarrassing moment? i literally dont know

21. Do you ever wish you were someone else? all the fucking time

22. What were you like when you were a kid? annoying as hell never shut up and never stopped moving

23. What would your dream house be like? a small little apartment that i could safely afford

24. What last made you laugh? shaving cream in a crock

25. What is your favorite word?idt i have one

26. What is your least favorite word? not sure

27. What turns you on? no

28. What turns you off? someone being a fucking asshat

29. What is your star sign? triple sagittarius

30. What are your favorite books? hunger games, illiad, mary shelly’s frankenstein, les miserables, and donte’s inferno.

31. Do you have any siblings? too many

32. Do you like to dance? only by myself

33. What is your definition of cheating? starting a relationship with no intent to tell your other partner(s)

34. Have you ever cheated on someone? no

35. Do you regret anything? loads

36. Do you have any phobias? driving through farmland gives me anxiety if that counts

37. Ever broken any bones? i’ve only fractured my rib the rest have been just dislocations and subfluxes which are daily occurances

38. Ever come close to death? we all do

39. What is your religion, if any? a mess

40. Have you ever been to a psychiatrist/therapist? yep currently seeing one

41. Are looks important in a relationship? not really?

42. Are you more like your mom or your dad? hopefully neither

43. What is your favorite season? summer!!!

44. Do you have any tattoos? like 2

45. Do you have any piercings? like 9 hopefully gonna make it 11 soon

46. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had? three

47. Have you ever had a crush on a fictional character? lydia deetz when i was like 7

48. Who is your celebrity crush? winona ryder

49. Are you a virgin? not answering

50. Do you get jealous easily? i literally cant name a time i’ve been truly jealous

51. What is your favorite type of food? sweets

52. Do you ever want to get married? i see no point in signing a legally binding document that ties me to a person for the foreseeable future. if anything it sounds like really bad dangerous idea.

53. Who was your first kiss with? a girl named maggie in the 6th grade and not the maggie that i post about

54. Have you ever been cheated on? no

55. What is your idea of the perfect date? sitting on a rooftop of a parking garage downtown at night taking photos and enjoying the view of the buildings around eating fries from some fast food place

56. Are you an introvert or an extrovert? extroverted introvert

57. Do you believe in aliens or life on other planets? i wouldn’t be suprised

58. What talent do you wish you’d been born with? a way with words that doesnt make me seem like an asshole half the time

59. What is your saddest memory? when i lost contact with my parter for two and a half years

60. Do you believe in love at first sight? no

61. Do you believe in soul mates? yes

62. Have you ever dyed your hair? all the time

63. Has someone ever spread a nasty rumor about you? no

64. Would you go against your moral code for money? no

65. What are three things most people don’t know about you? 1 i have a kid 2 im partially deaf 3 im in mensa

66. Who are you jealous of? no one really

67. Do you sleep with a stuffed toy? a plush heart from my partner

68. How long was your longest relationship? dont know

69. Is the glass half empty or half full? the glass is half full of air and half full of liquid and therefore completely full

70. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you? no

71. Who is your most loyal friend? Maggie Lizard U.

72. Are you in a relationship? yes

73. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her? everything

74. Are you a bad person? it feels like it some days

75. Are you a lover or a fighter? lover

76. What did you do on your last birthday? i dont do anything for my birthday ever

77. What is your favorite quote and why?

“ there are 7 billion 47 million people on the planetAnd I have the audacity to think I matterI know it's a lie but I prefer it to the alternative”Because you do have to convince yourself there’s value to your life. even if you know deep down there’s nothing because if you dont you’ll walk down a very dark and dangerous road with only one end. and its not a very pleasant one

78. If your best friend died, what would you do? given she’s the reason im alive i’d probably be completely unable to cope

79. If you had to go back in time and change one thing, what would it be? i dont even know

80. If you only had 24 hours to live, what would you do? i’d call the people i love and tell them i love them and try to hang out with them if i could

81. What is the strangest dream you’ve ever had? the only dream i can remember is sitting on a curb with maggie playing some jenga like game next to a crashed helicopter surrounded by terrified people with guns and we were just smiling watching a giant giant gaint ship come barreling towards us and i KNew that it was the start of the end of the world.

82. Are you happier single or in a relationship? i think the same. depends on the relationship.

83. Who were you in a past life? some Victorian bastard

84. What is your happiest childhood memory? driving around around midnight through downtown milwaukee after a death cab concert at the rave

85. Have you ever experienced unrequited love? yes

86. Have you ever had an imaginary friend? no but my sister had an imaginary friend called mr fork taht she never questioned and she thought when she got older he’d turn into mr knife. she didnt like mr fork and she wanted him to leave

87. If you were the president, what would you do? step down

88. What is your ideal career? i plan on going into phsychology and becomning a therapist ideally i want to run a shelter for run-aways or kids that got kicked out that would provide a stable enviroment and gave kids a place to stay as long as needed and if possible get the parents into therapy with those kids and resolve the home conflicts while the kids are still in the care of the shelter to ensure that they’re not mistreated as a result of anything that was said

89. What is your political affiliation? socialist at minimum

90. Are you conservative or liberal? liberal

91. Is the male or female body closest to perfection? what the hell is perfection??

92. Do you like kissing in public? depends on the place

93. If you could change one thing in the world, what would you change? create healthy equality

94. Where would you like to live? in the middle of a giant bustling city like new york or hong kong or in a secluded pine forest running on solar pannels and well water and being completely sustainable

95. Where would you go on your dream vacation?

everywhere

96. Describe yourself in one word.

headache

97. Describe yourself in one sentence.

a dumbass who is really trying their hardest and it just doesnt wanna work

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the-stressmushroom · 7 years

Text

Answering Some Questions

I have noticed a common trend in what some people found to be wrong with the Season 4 finale of Sherlock, The Final Problem. These are just my theories on these issues and are in no way fact so know that I am not attacking your ideas. I just wish to provide a possible idea of what could have happened to help make the episode a little more satisfying to those who didn’t enjoy it. I happened to love the episode, but I noticed its flaws too.

1) John being pulled from the well by a rope.

So this for some reason is a big one. In the scene, John is about to drown in the well and a rope is dropped in for him. He grabs onto it and seems to be ‘pulled up’, but if you watch the scene back again carefully, he is not pulled up, he just uses the rope to lift his higher above the water. I believe they just used this rope to get his head above the water so they could have time to go down into the well and cut the chains. The episode was getting long and I'm sure at the time, the writers would have seen know problem with this scene.

2) Sherlock not noticing the lack of glass on Eurus’s cell.

At first, I also had A LOT of trouble with this one. But after I thought about it for a little while, I understood why Sherlock could not see the glass. There are two things commonly alluded to through out the show. The first being, you see but do not observe. A common problem for the Holmes brothers, they are too busy observing the intricacies of a scene to notice the obvious. During this scene, Sherlock is seeing his sister for practically the first time and I’m sure he was too busy observing her habits and trying to grasp at memories of her to notice the glass. Second theme is that Sherlock is the emotional Holmes child. It is seen and referred to time and time again throughout the show that Sherlock’s emotions muddle his thoughts and blind him to certain elements of a problem and it is safe to say that upon seeing his baby sister, who he had only recently learned about and who probably killed his best friend/dog as a child, Sherlock’s emotions would be a little scattered.

3) Eurus’s voice coming through the speakers despite there being no glass.

This is actually explained in the episode. It is a small line that a lot of people, including myself, missed the first time but Eurus says something along the lines of ‘I have a microphone chip in my throat that puts my voice through the speakers. Clever right?’ So that explains that one.

4) Eurus being able to sound like a small child.

Not only is Eurus brilliant and impersonating a small girl isn't too difficult, some people had trouble figuring out how Eurus made herself sound like the little girl on the airplane. If you are not satisfied with it just being her talent, then think of the microphone chip in her throat. It distorted her voice, made it come through the speakers, I wouldn’t be surprised if it could make her sound like different people as well.

5) Eurus transporting everyone to Sherrinford.

Many people wondered how Eurus could get Mycroft, John and Sherlock to Sherrinford by herself, but you forget, she had a powerful tranquilizer, a team of soldiers at her command, and most likely, a few helicopters. We know she had at least one because of the one Sherlock, John and Mycroft took to the island. With those at her disposal, she was able to knock Sherlock and the others out for a few hours and have her soldiers transport them to Sherrinford. This can also explain how Eurus’s game was set up, she had the help of A LOT of foot soldiers.

6) Eurus being able to control so many people.

This is a hard one because it relies on the concept of emotional manipulation. Some people are naturally manipulative, and if they are smart enough, they can often use this gift to control people. This can be seen through political figures, celebrities, and even everyday people you know who can, for example, get away with everything. Most people have some ability of manipulation, but Eurus was clearly not only very good at manipulating, but also clever enough to use it to her advantage. She basically drove the men at the facility crazy through means of psychological warfare, making them feel useless, threatening them and their families, building them up just to tear them down, and once someone is broken, they are very easy to control. Eurus simply broke them down emotionally through manipulation until they were submissive to her. She convinced them she was a danger to them and in doing so, became one.

7) Sherlock not remembering his own sister.

This one is fairly easy. When people, especially children, are faced with tragedy, they often try to suppress their memories as a coping mechanism. Children will turn their traumatic experiences into monsters, nightmares that can't hurt them in the morning, which is exactly what happens with Sherlock. The East Wind becomes a scary story to him, and because of his exceptional mental capacity, he was able to quickly suppress the memories that were causing him grief. Most children are able to block out bad memories, but due to Sherlocks abilities, he is not only able to block them out, but practically erase them all together.

8) Why did Mycroft bring up Redbeard at random times.

Mycroft’s reason for bringing up Redbeard at random times is simple. Emotional events for Sherlock could cause mental wounds to form, and Mycroft used the simple trigger word, Redbeard, to ensure that memories of Eurus didn’t surface when the wound was created. For example, he knows Sherlock is experiencing mental turmoil as a result of the fear that John may leave him completely after he gets married during The Sign Of Three, so Mycroft brings up Redbeard to make sure that the hurt Sherlock is feeling hasn’t caused something else to resurface.

9) How did Eurus carve the gravestones to fit her song.

She didn’t. She created her song to fit the dates already carved on the grave stones.

10) How did Mary know to send the second tape when she did.

Many people didn’t understand why the second Mary tape came so long after the first. I think it’s because Mary was clever. No I am not trying to say she was clever enough to predict the battle with Eurus, but I do think she was clever enough to know her own husband. John’s struggle with death is seen through his inability to cope, Mary saw what happened after Sherlock died and how he needed to visit his grave often for closure. I’m sure she figured that one tape would not be enough closure for John, so she instead sent a few to be delivered at different intervals so that John would still have Mary guiding him a little but, just as he turned to Sherlocks grave for closure.

11) Why did John cheat on Mary with Eurus of all people.

Eurus is manipulative. She didn’t do it because she liked John, she just wanted to get in his head, learn about him and Sherlock and then use her knowledge to destroy them The minute she spoke to John she was in his head, and John had no ability to stop her.

12) Why was the well never found.

This one is hard, but I believe it is because Eurus’s song that apparently was the key to finding the location of the boy/dog did not allude to the location of the well, but to her struggling and her need for support. If someone figured out her song and offered her what she needed as a child, she probably would have just told them the location of the well. And at the time, the family probably didn’t know she had used a well to drown the kid so the Holmes family would not have known to be looking for a well.

13) Why didn’t Johnlock happen. Why is there so much queer bating.

Im sorry to say that Johnlock will never happen. The shows creators have stated multiple times that it will never happen and that it doesn’t fit int the story they are trying to tell. Sherlock isn’t a story about love, but about friendship and murder. I am a huge Johnlock shipper btw, but I don't see why so many people hated this episode because Johnlock didn't happen. Also it is important to note that Johnlock not happening is not due to queer bating. There is no debating involved. The creators of the show have already flat out said it won't happen. This saddens me sure, but that does’t mean I will let this small detail ruin the entire, very incredible show for me.

Things I can't explain:

- The lack of injuries from the explosion at 221 B

- The tranquilizer gun that looked a lot like a real gun to me

Remember:

These are just my personal theories and opinions, I am in no way trying to attack anyone else’s thoughts on the episode. Please let me know if you agree or disagree and let me know if you can explain the two things I couldn't figure out. Also let me know if I missed any plotholes!

#sherlock #sherlock season 4 #sherlock season four #sherlock series four #sherlock the final problem #sherlock tfp #sherlock theories #the final problem

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illbetheresomehow · 7 years

Text

60 Truths Tag

As i already said @pandafeet tagged me in a few posts some time before, and this is the last one i dicided to do. tks, dude. =D

since i’m not sure what should i do this afternoon here i am. tagg game. let’s go, this will be long...

1. Nickname(s): Lu, Lulu. My sistets calls me ‘coisinha’.

2. Bias: this is not a real question is it? I mean, everyone is my bias. There’s Suho and Yixing, then there’s Bang and Jaebum, Kihyun, Hakyeon. Well, i just love them all.

3. Blood type: O+

4. Relationship status: i watch too many dramas, does it count?

5. Birthday: April 22

6. Zodiac sign: Taurus

7. Pronouns: She / Her / It

8. Hair length: Medium I guess

9. Height: 168

10. A crush: i have this friend...

11. What do you like about yourself: I like that i do not need people to depend on. But i do not like myself very much. hahaha

12. Right or left handed: Right handed

13. List of three favourite colours: Dark blue, dark green and black

14. Right now eating: nothing

15. Right now drinking: coffee and iced tea

16. I’m about to: i dont now. i need to write, but ill probably just watch tunnel

17. Listening to: Beautiful - Monsta X

18. Kids: On tv. They are cute only on tv

19. Get married: Nope. I dont know how to be in a realantioship. hahaha all the past ones didnt work.

20. Recent phone call: hair and make up saloon. rs.

21. Have you ever dated someone twice: Nope.

22. Been cheated on: yes.

23. Kissed someone and regretted it: yes. i was forced to, so yes.

24. Lost someone special: Yes. a lot actually.

25. Been depressed: hmmm, maybe?

26. Been drunk and thrown up: been drunk: yes. thrown up: no.

27. Had glasses or contacts: nah. not yet at least.

28. Had sex on a first date: it was not a date, but...yes?

29. Broken someone’s heart: yes. but i figured out months after. i did not even knew the guy.

30. Turned someone down: Yes

31. Cried when someone died: yes. omg. yes. family, friends, book characters, drama characters, hahaa

32. Fallen for a friend: hahahaha, yes. oh, yes.

33. In the last year have you made a new friend: yes, but i dont feel i can call them friends...

34. Fallen out of love: i’m not sure. i think i just got used to not have that person around anymore...

35. Laughed until you cry: yes. like, all the time, hahah

36. Met someone who changed you: Yes. oh, yes.

37. Found out who your true friends were: i’m still not sure. hahaha that’s hard. i do not like to depend on people, so i’m not sure...

38. Found out someone was talking about you: talk good or bad, i just don’t care.

39. Lips or eyes: Eyes

40. Hugs or kisses: kisses.

41. Shorter or taller: both? i dont mind.

42. Romantic or spontaneous: both. i like both.

43. Sensitive or loud: me? sensitive. but i can be loud too, hahaha

44. Hookup or relationship: Hookup.

45. First best friend: Mariana. dont know where she is now.

46. Surgery: oh, yes. 7 if i’m not mistaken.

47. Sports I joined: judo, ballet and jazz. i stopped at eleven years old.

48. Do you believe in yourself: yes.

49. Miracles: if i make them happen, then yes.

50. Love at first sight: only in dramas. i love dramas, rs.

51. Heaven: im not sure ill go tho. but i think it exists, yes.

52. Do you have any pets: a dog, 3 fishes, a turtle, two hamsters, 3 birds. but now, no, no pets in the moment.

53. Do you want to change your name: no.

54. What did you do for your last birthday: it was last week! There was a luch at a restaurant with my closest friends, then a cake with coffee for my family. i dont like parties. Ok, wrong, it is just my birthday that i dont like. hahha

55. What time did you wake up today: 9 am. i had to go out and do stuff...adult stuff. argh

56. What were you doing last night at midnight: sleeping.

57. Something you can’t wait for: my graduation party. i am very anxious and worried and sad and happy and sensitive and deaf. omg i hate this feeling.

58. Last time you saw your mom: half an hour ago?

59. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: i just want to move. i think i can cope with that. just move.

60. What’s getting on your nerves: that i am having anxiety crises too often. it really annoys the shit out of me.

I’m tagging: @afoxthing @pandafeet and @lawlliets again. haha do if only if you want. =D

#mine #tagg game #that was very long #i enjoyed it tho

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cartchytuns · 4 years

Text

hey whos ready for a weird personal readmore about the concept of DEATH (i promise im fine)

ive been thinking recently and realized like. death isn’t scary to me personally so much as it’s scary to me as something that takes people i care about away from me. and maybe that’s how it is for a lot of people?

i say people in that first bit but i mean pets tbh, tho honestly with my hyperempathy and autism i bond with pets just as strongly as i do with people (is that something everyone does? like is that one of those things we never talk about but everyone does? see i dont know these things). and when i was a kid my parents knew i would put up a huge fuss about euthanasia because i didnt understand why you would do that to someone you loved. so what they did instead was wait for me to go to school and when i came home, tell me our dog had died while i was gone. and god damn did that affect my attitude on death as a kid. like death became something sudden, and horrible, and you don’t get to say goodbye, and i’d do everything i could to prevent it. i remember in seventh grade i was scared one of my dogs had eaten a pin from my bedroom, so i stayed up all night making sure she was still breathing, because i felt like if i let her out of my sight i’d find her dead.

i’m not gonna go too deep into this one because it’s a deeply traumatic memory and even just recounting what happened is triggering for me (like my mind will drift to it sometimes and suddenly it’s like hitting a wall, i remember all of it but i have to actively force myself to think about it because otherwise my brain will just go No) but basically we had a puppy when i was 16, and we had to put him down because he had a chronic disorder that would eventually put him in so much pain that his life would be unlivable, so my parents decided to put him down while he was still happy and feeling okay. i missed a lot of school during that time because i was really depressed, and my parents didn’t want me to have any more absences, so they waited until a long weekend and then told me as soon as it started. it was the day before they were gonna put him down. i had about 24 hours to process that this bouncing happy puppy was gonna die and it was fucking devastating. i’m not gonna talk any more about it but that’s an open wound that really fucked up my ability to cope with death, especially since my parents made me go back to school after that weekend was over. i remember six months later one of our other dogs had to be put down (this makes it sounds like my parents just put dogs down for fun i promise that’s not the case, bert just laid down one day and refused to get up and we knew it was time), i remember i was clinging to him and sobbing that i couldn’t do it again, i wasn’t ready.

i just know now that it’s not a healthy relationship i have with death, especially now that my mom’s getting older (and after her health scare in my senior year i know for a fact i have a really intense fear of losing her), and i’ve been really into like abimee’s stuff because they have a very peaceful idea of death and it’s comforting to me to see something that’s been handled so badly my whole life finally get the nice, positive depiction i think i needed to see it have. i really hope one day ill be able to have a relationship with death like that and not be so obsessed with preventing it in the people i care about

#animal death #death #[casually triggers myself just so i can rant about something that i cant find another outlet for]

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bloojayoolie · 6 years

Photo

Apparently, Bad, and Blade: Raep DARTED IN, TERRIFIED Making great strides to adjust to his new situation Handsome, chunky, lovable, housetrained - Reported to be playful& independent by former owner, lived with a small dog be mine years old 70 lbs FOSTER **** TO BE KILLED - 2/5/2018 **** DARTED IN AND SCARED AS CAN BE, Razz hunkered down in the cage that would temporarily be home when he came too and hoped it was all a bad dream. Until he woke up in the morning in the same place with a bunch of other dogs who had made the same wish before they drifted into sleep. Though scared, Razz has the look of a friendly chunkster and the volunteers know it so they attempt to befriend him, and turns out they are right. But Razz is still scared and needs to feel safe in this strange new place so they have to coax him out of his kennel and after lots of encouragement, soft words and top shelf treats (his legs trembling the whole time) he comes around and tips out of the kennel. Just as gorgeous as they knew he would be. Razz is such a hunky boy with his velvet coat, checking out the scenery, sniffing his four legged next door neighbor and saying hello through the gate. Maybe this won't be so bad after all. :) He's picking up on good energy from these people known as volunteers and even making friends, tail just a-wagging. But they don't give you weeks to come out of your shell at the shelter, especially if you are scared and your family doesn't want you, so Razz needs a prompt hero to take him to the next phase in this harrowing ordeal. He's been added to the euth list and he will be killed if an experienced, kind and loving person doesn't come through for him promptly. So if you like cute, soft, velvety and loyal things that will show you how grateful they are for you for the rest of their life, Razz just might be your boy. Please consider saving a life. RAZZ@MANHATTAN ACC Hello, my name is Razz My animal id is #18774 I am a male tan dog at the Manhattan Animal Care Center The shelter thinks I am about 4 years old, 70 lbs Came into shelter as stray Jan. 20, 2018 Razz is new hope rescue only Razz 18774 is at risk for behavior concerns (New Hope Only behavior determination). He has been fearful with her human caretakers, but warms up with consistent slow gentle approach. Razz has been diagnosed with Canine Upper Respiratory Disease Complex and will likely require home rest and a series of antibiotics for up to 14 days. This is a contagious illness to other dogs. You may know me from such films as... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lyf7fDkUfyA https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=1&v=6mQND5pnAVY My medical notes are... Weight: 70 lbs Vet Notes 20/01/2018 [DVM Intake] DVM Intake Exam Estimated age: 5 Microchip noted on Intake? no Microchip Number (If Applicable): History : OS due to bite Subjective/ Observed: Patient was presented fractious/excited in a kennel after being darted by officers. The tranqs did not appear to have the desired effect as Razz was very excited, barking and growling. Required Sedation and a muzzle for examination. Evidence of Cruelty seen - n Evidence of Trauma seen - n Objective T = - P = 60 (under sedation) R = WNL BCS= 6/9 EENT: Eyes clear, ears clean, no nasal or ocular discharge noted Oral Exam: Used a tongue depressor. Teeth apparently in good condition PLN: No enlargements noted H/L: NSR, NMA, CRT < 2, Lungs clear, eupnic ABD: Non painful, no masses palpated U/G: Intact - two descended testicles MSI: Ambulatory x 4, skin free of parasites, no masses noted, healthy hair coat CNS: Mentation appropriate - no signs of neurologic abnormalities Rectal: Assessment: Healthy Prognosis: Excellent Plan: Sedation: 1cc Telazol IM Removed two darts from dorsum and neck. Made a small skin incision with #10 scalpel blade and cleaned repeatedly with chlorohexidine scrub. Applied topical antibiotic ointment DOH Hold SURGERY: Temporary waiver due to DOH Hold 28/01/2018 S/O: Reported Vomiting. Very quiet in kennel. Plan: Monitor for CIRDC or sickness 29/01/2018 S/O: Lethargic. Quiet in kennel. Not eating alot. Moderate serous dis-charge from left nares A: CIRDC Plan: Move to Iso Give 300 mg Doxycycline PO SID for 14days Give 60 mg Cerenia PO SID for 3 days Details on my behavior are... Behavior Condition: 5. Red Behavior History Behavior Assessment Upon intake Razz was barking, lunging and growling while in the crate. He had a tense body and tail tucked. No handling was performed. Date of Intake: 1/20/2018 Spay/Neuter Status: Unknown Basic Information:: Razz is a roughly 4 year old large dog whom was bought from a friend and kept in the same home since he was just a few months old. Unfortunately due to a previous bite history he could not be kept. Previously lived with:: 3 adults, 1 small dog How is this dog around strangers?: Around strangers Razz is described as reactive and plays rough with adults How is this dog around children?: Razz has not been socialized with children so this behavior is unknown. How is this dog around other dogs?: He has been socialized with one small breed dog and is described as relaxed and plays very rough How is this dog around cats?: Razz has not been socialized with cats so this behavior is unknown Resource guarding:: Razz is known to have no resource guarding issues. Bite history:: Razz has a previous bite history which is elaborated in a separate memo Housetrained:: Yes Energy level/descriptors:: High energy level Other Notes:: Razz is described to bark a lot and isn't bothered by loud storms of fireworks. He isn't bothered with having his food or toys touches, being given a bath, having his nails trimmed or being disturbed while asleep. He will bark, growl and occasionally snap when being held or restrained or when unfamiliar people approach his owner or home. Has this dog ever had any medical issues?: No Medical Notes: Razz has no known medical issues. For a New Family to Know: Razz is described as playful, independent, pushy and excitable.He enjoys playing with ropes, ate Merrick dry food 3 times a is considered very house trained. He would be walked 2 times a day, pulls very hard on leash and off leash he wanders but comes when he is called. Date of intake:: 1/20/2018 Spay/Neuter status:: No Means of surrender (length of time in previous home):: Owner surrender (in previous home since puppyhood) Previously lived with:: Adults (3), small dog Behavior toward strangers:: Reactive, plays roughly Behavior toward children:: Unknown Behavior toward dogs:: Relaxed, plays roughly with housemate Behavior toward cats:: Unknown Resource guarding:: None reported. Bite history:: Yes, Razz bit one of his owners the day before intake. The owner was attempting to collar Razz for the first time (he did not wear a collar at home), and Razz responded by growling and lunging. The owner tried again to collar and Razz escalating to a bite on the right hand. This was a bite-and-release that resulted in several punctures. The owner sought treatment at the hospital for the injury. The owners reported being shocked by the behavior and believing it was due to fear. Housetrained:: Yes Energy level/descriptors:: Razz is described as playful, independent, pushy, and excitable, with a high energy level. Other Notes:: Razz is reported to bark, growl and occasionally snap when being held or restrained or when unfamiliar people approach his owner or home. Date of assessment:: 2/2/2018 Summary:: Throughout his stay in the care center, Razz has shown generally fearful behavior. He has made progress in recent days but out of concern that a handling assessment with a stranger at this point may push him over threshold, he will not receive a SAFER handling assessment at this time. Date of intake:: 1/20/2018 Summary:: Barking, lunging, growling in the crate; tense body, tail tucked. Date of initial:: 1/20/2018 Summary:: Excited, barking, growling. IN SHELTER OBSERVATIONS:: Since his arrival, Razz has shown great behavioral improvement. Initially he would lunge and hard bark at handlers whenever a leash was presented, and would not leave his kennel. With daily sessions of leashing and giving treats, and providing a stepstool for him to step onto, Razz is now able to leave his kennel and solicits pets from multiple employees while out on a walk. He now allows handling and will lean in to handlers for pets, and will walk appropriately on a leash. Outside of his kennel Razz displays loose and wiggly body language and while still somewhat fearful he has continued to improve since his arrival. BEHAVIOR DETERMINATION:: NEW HOPE ONLY Behavior Asilomar: TM - Treatable-Manageable Recommendations:: No children (under 13),Place with a New Hope partner Recommendations comments:: No children: Due to Razz's general fear of strangers, sensitivity to certain types of handling, and bite history, we recommend an adult-only home for Razz. Place with a New Hope partner: Razz will need guidance to learn to feel more confident in new situations and to learn new coping skills when frightened. We recommend ONLY force-free, reward-based training methods for Razz; more aversive techniques will increase fear and increase the risk of future aggression. Potential challenges: : Handling/touch sensitivity,Fearful/potential for defensive aggression Potential challenges comments:: Handling/touch sensitivity: Razz's previous owners note growling, barking, and snapping when restrained. Fearful/potential for defensive aggression: Razz has shown an escalation to a bite when frightened. He gave appropriate warnings (growling, lunging) before the escalation, but when not respected a bite followed. It is essential to always respect his warning signs. It is important to move slowly with Razz, to build positive associations (treats/toys/praise), and to allow Razz to initiate interactions with new people. He should never be forced to greet or to interact if he is not comfortable and soliciting attention. RAZZ IS RESCUE ONLY…..TO SAVE THIS PUP YOU MUST FILL OUT APPLICATIONS WITH AT LEAST 3 NEW HOPE RESCUES. PLEASE HURRY!!! IF YOU CAN FOSTER OR ADOPT THIS PUP, PLEASE PM OUR PAGE FOR ASSISTANCE. WE CAN PROVIDE YOU WITH LINKS TO APPLICATIONS WITH NEW HOPE RESCUES WHO ARE CURRENTLY PULLING FROM THE NYC ACC. PLEASE SHARE THIS DOG FOR A HOME TO SAVE HIS LIFE.

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bloojayoolie · 6 years

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Apparently, Bad, and Blade: Raep DARTED IN, TERRIFIED Making great strides to adjust to his new situation Handsome, chunky, lovable, housetrained - Reported to be playful& independent by former owner, lived with a small dog be mine years old 70 lbs FOSTER **** TO BE KILLED - 2/3/2018 **** DARTED IN AND SCARED AS CAN BE, Razz hunkered down in the cage that would temporarily be home when he came too and hoped it was all a bad dream. Until he woke up in the morning in the same place with a bunch of other dogs who had made the same wish before they drifted into sleep. Though scared, Razz has the look of a friendly chunkster and the volunteers know it so they attempt to befriend him, and turns out they are right. But Razz is still scared and needs to feel safe in this strange new place so they have to coax him out of his kennel and after lots of encouragement, soft words and top shelf treats (his legs trembling the whole time) he comes around and tips out of the kennel. Just as gorgeous as they knew he would be. Razz is such a hunky boy with his velvet coat, checking out the scenery, sniffing his four legged next door neighbor and saying hello through the gate. Maybe this won't be so bad after all. :) He's picking up on good energy from these people known as volunteers and even making friends, tail just a-wagging. But they don't give you weeks to come out of your shell at the shelter, especially if you are scared and your family doesn't want you, so Razz needs a prompt hero to take him to the next phase in this harrowing ordeal. He's been added to the euth list and he will be killed if an experienced, kind and loving person doesn't come through for him promptly. So if you like cute, soft, velvety and loyal things that will show you how grateful they are for you for the rest of their life, Razz just might be your boy. Please consider saving a life. RAZZ@MANHATTAN ACC Hello, my name is Razz My animal id is #18774 I am a male tan dog at the Manhattan Animal Care Center The shelter thinks I am about 4 years old, 70 lbs Came into shelter as stray Jan. 20, 2018 Razz is new hope rescue only Razz 18774 is at risk for behavior concerns (New Hope Only behavior determination). He has been fearful with her human caretakers, but warms up with consistent slow gentle approach. Razz has been diagnosed with Canine Upper Respiratory Disease Complex and will likely require home rest and a series of antibiotics for up to 14 days. This is a contagious illness to other dogs. You may know me from such films as... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lyf7fDkUfyA https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=1&v=6mQND5pnAVY My medical notes are... Weight: 70 lbs Vet Notes 20/01/2018 [DVM Intake] DVM Intake Exam Estimated age: 5 Microchip noted on Intake? no Microchip Number (If Applicable): History : OS due to bite Subjective/ Observed: Patient was presented fractious/excited in a kennel after being darted by officers. The tranqs did not appear to have the desired effect as Razz was very excited, barking and growling. Required Sedation and a muzzle for examination. Evidence of Cruelty seen - n Evidence of Trauma seen - n Objective T = - P = 60 (under sedation) R = WNL BCS= 6/9 EENT: Eyes clear, ears clean, no nasal or ocular discharge noted Oral Exam: Used a tongue depressor. Teeth apparently in good condition PLN: No enlargements noted H/L: NSR, NMA, CRT < 2, Lungs clear, eupnic ABD: Non painful, no masses palpated U/G: Intact - two descended testicles MSI: Ambulatory x 4, skin free of parasites, no masses noted, healthy hair coat CNS: Mentation appropriate - no signs of neurologic abnormalities Rectal: Assessment: Healthy Prognosis: Excellent Plan: Sedation: 1cc Telazol IM Removed two darts from dorsum and neck. Made a small skin incision with #10 scalpel blade and cleaned repeatedly with chlorohexidine scrub. Applied topical antibiotic ointment DOH Hold SURGERY: Temporary waiver due to DOH Hold 28/01/2018 S/O: Reported Vomiting. Very quiet in kennel. Plan: Monitor for CIRDC or sickness 29/01/2018 S/O: Lethargic. Quiet in kennel. Not eating alot. Moderate serous dis-charge from left nares A: CIRDC Plan: Move to Iso Give 300 mg Doxycycline PO SID for 14days Give 60 mg Cerenia PO SID for 3 days Details on my behavior are... Behavior Condition: 5. Red Behavior History Behavior Assessment Upon intake Razz was barking, lunging and growling while in the crate. He had a tense body and tail tucked. No handling was performed. Date of Intake: 1/20/2018 Spay/Neuter Status: Unknown Basic Information:: Razz is a roughly 4 year old large dog whom was bought from a friend and kept in the same home since he was just a few months old. Unfortunately due to a previous bite history he could not be kept. Previously lived with:: 3 adults, 1 small dog How is this dog around strangers?: Around strangers Razz is described as reactive and plays rough with adults How is this dog around children?: Razz has not been socialized with children so this behavior is unknown. How is this dog around other dogs?: He has been socialized with one small breed dog and is described as relaxed and plays very rough How is this dog around cats?: Razz has not been socialized with cats so this behavior is unknown Resource guarding:: Razz is known to have no resource guarding issues. Bite history:: Razz has a previous bite history which is elaborated in a separate memo Housetrained:: Yes Energy level/descriptors:: High energy level Other Notes:: Razz is described to bark a lot and isn't bothered by loud storms of fireworks. He isn't bothered with having his food or toys touches, being given a bath, having his nails trimmed or being disturbed while asleep. He will bark, growl and occasionally snap when being held or restrained or when unfamiliar people approach his owner or home. Has this dog ever had any medical issues?: No Medical Notes: Razz has no known medical issues. For a New Family to Know: Razz is described as playful, independent, pushy and excitable.He enjoys playing with ropes, ate Merrick dry food 3 times a is considered very house trained. He would be walked 2 times a day, pulls very hard on leash and off leash he wanders but comes when he is called. Date of intake:: 1/20/2018 Spay/Neuter status:: No Means of surrender (length of time in previous home):: Owner surrender (in previous home since puppyhood) Previously lived with:: Adults (3), small dog Behavior toward strangers:: Reactive, plays roughly Behavior toward children:: Unknown Behavior toward dogs:: Relaxed, plays roughly with housemate Behavior toward cats:: Unknown Resource guarding:: None reported. Bite history:: Yes, Razz bit one of his owners the day before intake. The owner was attempting to collar Razz for the first time (he did not wear a collar at home), and Razz responded by growling and lunging. The owner tried again to collar and Razz escalating to a bite on the right hand. This was a bite-and-release that resulted in several punctures. The owner sought treatment at the hospital for the injury. The owners reported being shocked by the behavior and believing it was due to fear. Housetrained:: Yes Energy level/descriptors:: Razz is described as playful, independent, pushy, and excitable, with a high energy level. Other Notes:: Razz is reported to bark, growl and occasionally snap when being held or restrained or when unfamiliar people approach his owner or home. Date of assessment:: 2/2/2018 Summary:: Throughout his stay in the care center, Razz has shown generally fearful behavior. He has made progress in recent days but out of concern that a handling assessment with a stranger at this point may push him over threshold, he will not receive a SAFER handling assessment at this time. Date of intake:: 1/20/2018 Summary:: Barking, lunging, growling in the crate; tense body, tail tucked. Date of initial:: 1/20/2018 Summary:: Excited, barking, growling. IN SHELTER OBSERVATIONS:: Since his arrival, Razz has shown great behavioral improvement. Initially he would lunge and hard bark at handlers whenever a leash was presented, and would not leave his kennel. With daily sessions of leashing and giving treats, and providing a stepstool for him to step onto, Razz is now able to leave his kennel and solicits pets from multiple employees while out on a walk. He now allows handling and will lean in to handlers for pets, and will walk appropriately on a leash. Outside of his kennel Razz displays loose and wiggly body language and while still somewhat fearful he has continued to improve since his arrival. BEHAVIOR DETERMINATION:: NEW HOPE ONLY Behavior Asilomar: TM - Treatable-Manageable Recommendations:: No children (under 13),Place with a New Hope partner Recommendations comments:: No children: Due to Razz's general fear of strangers, sensitivity to certain types of handling, and bite history, we recommend an adult-only home for Razz. Place with a New Hope partner: Razz will need guidance to learn to feel more confident in new situations and to learn new coping skills when frightened. We recommend ONLY force-free, reward-based training methods for Razz; more aversive techniques will increase fear and increase the risk of future aggression. Potential challenges: : Handling/touch sensitivity,Fearful/potential for defensive aggression Potential challenges comments:: Handling/touch sensitivity: Razz's previous owners note growling, barking, and snapping when restrained. Fearful/potential for defensive aggression: Razz has shown an escalation to a bite when frightened. He gave appropriate warnings (growling, lunging) before the escalation, but when not respected a bite followed. It is essential to always respect his warning signs. It is important to move slowly with Razz, to build positive associations (treats/toys/praise), and to allow Razz to initiate interactions with new people. He should never be forced to greet or to interact if he is not comfortable and soliciting attention. RAZZ IS RESCUE ONLY…..TO SAVE THIS PUP YOU MUST FILL OUT APPLICATIONS WITH AT LEAST 3 NEW HOPE RESCUES. PLEASE HURRY!!! IF YOU CAN FOSTER OR ADOPT THIS PUP, PLEASE PM OUR PAGE FOR ASSISTANCE. WE CAN PROVIDE YOU WITH LINKS TO APPLICATIONS WITH NEW HOPE RESCUES WHO ARE CURRENTLY PULLING FROM THE NYC ACC. PLEASE SHARE THIS DOG FOR A HOME TO SAVE HIS LIFE.

#funny #lol #humor #memes #meme #memehumor #dank memes #funny pics #rolf #lmao #Apparently #Bad #and

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