#my brain Did Not Want To Write Today

[blindmagdalena]

really obsessed with soulmate au’s recently and it got me thinking… what if john’s soulmate was part of the boys? a girl trying to kill him with an entire group of people also trying to kill him… and he’s fated to her? could picture him finding out and just putting his hands on his hips while turning his back to her and doing that click chuckle thing. just in utter disbelief but it is definitely on track for fate’s little play with him and his life lolol

Oohhh, you know, I've never played much with the soulmate au concept, but this struck me just right because I can so clearly see the slow, building meltdown that strikes him when that reveal drops.

The mirthless laugh, shaking his head, the hapless gesture to the ceiling before his hands drop. "Of course. Of course it's you. Why wouldn't it be? I mean—Christ, it makes sense, doesn't it? Every single person who was supposed to love me has-has fucked it, so why—" he keeps cutting into this escalating, unsettling laughter. There's nothing funny about it: you're sure that you're watching someone lose the last shred of their sanity in real time. "Why would my 'soulmate'-", he says, miming big, dramatic quotation marks. "-be any different?" That manic grin has shifted into tight baring of his teeth, a vicious sneer. He closes in on you, stands so near you can feel the heat of his breath when he hisses, "I should put you in the fucking dirt with the rest of them."

It should be terrifying, but it's hard to focus on anything other than the glassiness of his eyes. The sheer devastating heartbreak of it all, telegraphed clear as day in the way he carries himself. His eyes flare red, sizzling up the tears before they can fall. "And then you really will be all alone," you say. Maybe it's the hopelessness of the moment, maybe it's the shock of learning for yourself that he's supposed to be your one and only, but you feel numb. Frayed in a way you didn't know you could be. The crimson light of his eyes disappears in an instant, revealing surprise, followed by a wounded kind of look, before that familiar seething rage returns. "We'll see about that."

#oh man i could get carried away with this real easy #i did here lbr #i guess it's up to the author just how connected soulmates are and how that kind of reveal happens #idk i'm a baby to the genre #but it would be very fun to write a situation where HL wants to strangle them just as much as he wants to snuggle up in their lap #they're at odds in every conceivable way but there is this soul deep pull to one another #coming to terms with the fact passion is the root of BOTH hatred and love #also the idea that HL was sincerely holding out hope all this time that his One Perfect Person was out there waiting for him wounds ME #only to be struck down by the realization that oh they ALSO want him dead #aaaaaaAAAAAAA #i'm sorry i'm so rambly today lmao thank you for the ask!!! i'm gonna have brain worms all day #darling anon #ask and you shall receive #homelander x reader #homelander x you #soulmate au #my writing

[oatbugs]

procrastination is starting to have its consequences finally

#on my friends living room floor they love together but one of them has been london for weeks or maybe months #to be with her love. im on a foam mattress from one of their beds next to a glass bottle of water opened by one of them #in a mug given to me by another. the weather felt like my childhood today and it also felt like 2 years ago. #(put space in the heavens Einstein's idea and hes your friend too so nothing to fear) around the table they drank and laughed and i thought #i hope you keep growing so full with the love you receive . i hope your appetite becomes insatiable from how used to it you are #and i know youre all leaving soon but i hope one day you miss this and that youll be happy you miss it #its worth missing i think #i thought he didnt care but he said after exams hes going walk around this area over and over #(this is near where he lived and where we visited almost daily for a year) #(hed come across the bridge on a lake) #we went where she used to live and at the entrance a fox sat calmly. it just yawned and stared. #it felt important somehow. i think maybe their impressions of me will never be close to how i feel inside but i think #i love them enough for that not to matter. i dont think theyll ever know this. i dont think if they did it would change much. #and seeing them smile makes my heart glow anyway. today i tried their malaysian tea the ginger burned my throat #they warmed my heart. hes going to canada soon and hes going to the US soon and shes going everywhere soon ill never understand #how were supposed to live with memories and with seperation and with the past but we do it anyway so i think it doesnt matter much #i wanted to write a poem for the lab rats with the fibre optic wires lit with blue forcing them to turn around and around #something about how im sorry that the two photon arrays burned the inside of your brain. im sorry about the sharp points of multielectrode #arrayes. im sorry about everything we do to you. she asked to see me tomorrow. im trying to have self control but i miss her so awfully #last night my friend talked to me and i updated on everything that happened with love and the lack of it and she just started laughing #and she told me about the same thing from her side. and she told me about how she loved london because she would walk the streets #and she felt like the people were her. and her eyes would go over the people and the bag of bagels and the construction men they probably #have a kid at home maybe shes a daughter. this kid is crying for her mother and the building you just walked past caused #blisters and pain and people died in it and very likely people were born in it. we talked for hours and i felt like #i was holding her hand just like that time she held mine watching a horror film. i love her so much #my friend is a genius and i remember her picking up the charms of my phone and staring at the leaf hanging from them. shes side stepping to #music drinking dangerous cider and cocktails from a movie and chit chatting with billionaires and undergrads #i love her dearly. his head covered in electrodes. she tells me about a syrian guy shes in love with and she says #what you feel and what i feel is like cocaine. ive tried a lot of fucking cocaine. #she says ive reminded her of what living actually feels like and to never put energy into someone who doesnt see me this way.

[lit-in-thy-heart]

been trying out a new writing technique recently and it's called chilling tf out and reminding myself that fic is written for fun.

#making a little joke but also being genuinely serious #with my merwaincelot wip i've embraced having little overviews in brackets for what i want to happen #but idk how to write it just yet #if i'm feeling stuck or bored #and if i'm getting tired or the idea of writing an ending is getting overwhelming then i just call it a day and do something else #and yeah it's taking longer to write things (perhaps gone are the days when i wrote and posted a fic in the same night) #but it's working wonders with my brain #and it's amazing how as soon as i relax i get hit with several new ideas #just trying to adjust my thinking in that projects over a long period of time are not something to worry about #like i'm also planning a knitting project that i'll be doing well into september #(mainly bc yarn is expensive and my needs are hella specific) #but that's okay! #not everything has to be done and dusted immediately! #i'm glad i took a break from writing and i think it did do me good but damn i'm happy to be back #and enjoy still learning how to get even more out of my hobby #but anyway i'm just feeling a lil proud of myself today so #lit talks #personal

[get-back-homeward]

—From In His Own Write (1964) | First published in Mersey Beat August 17, 1961 | Written 1958-1959 (see below)

Q: There’s a very, very sad poem at the end of the play about Kakky Hargreaves who is some sort of person whose name changes during the poem who’s gone lost. Who was Kakky Hargreaves?

JOHN: Well, nobody, you know. It was Kakky, or Cathy, or Tammy. So it was all those people. But the point is that you GOT it -- the sadness that I wrote into it. But after you write something, a song or anything, you get the sadness and then you perform it or you put it on paper and then that’s gone. And the only way you get the joy back of writing it or the sadness back, is when somebody like Victor or somebody else comes and reads it to you, or acts it out. Like, when I first saw the rehearsal of the play, and they said these words back to me and I got the sadness from Kakky Hargreaves like I’d never heard it before.

Q: You wrote that one when you were very young.

JOHN: Yes. That was, sort of, pre-Beatle. Eighteen. Nineteen.

VICTOR: (laughs)

Q: And have you written lately?

JOHN: Well I write, I think, all the time. So I mean, it’s the same. I actually don’t put it on paper so much these days, but it goes into songs -- A lot of the same energy that went into those poems. I don’t know what I actually do with the thoughts, but they come out either on film, or on paper, or on tape. I’ve just got lots of tape, which, I suppose if I put onto paper it would be a book. But it’s just a matter of, do I want to make those tapes into paper or make the tapes into records.

Q: Does it feel the same to you when you’re writing something on paper and when you’re writing a song lyric?

JOHN: It does now. In the old days I used to think, if song writing was this... you know, 'I love you and you love me,' and my writing was something else, you know. Even if I didn’t think of it quite like that. But I just realized through Dylan and other people... BOB Dylan, not Thomas... that it IS the same thing. That’s what I didn't realize being so naive -- that you don’t write pop songs, and then you DO THAT, and then you DO THAT. Everything you do is the same thing, so do it the same way. But sometimes I’ll write lyrics to a song first and then I'll get the same feeling as Kakky Hargreaves or a poem and then write the music to it after. So then it’s a poem, sung. But sometimes the tune comes and then you just put suitable words to fit the tune. If the tune is (sings) 'Doodle-loodle loodle-leh,' and then you have 'Shag-a-boo choo-cha.' You know, you have sound-words then, just the sound of it. ‘Cause it IS all sound. Everything is vibrations, I believe, you know. Everything is sound, really, or vision. And just, the difference between sound and vision I’m not quite sure about. But its all just (imitates a vibrating sound) 'vuh-wuh-wuh-wuh-wuh-wuh.'

—BBC-2 Interview of John Lennon and Victor Spinetti (about the In His Own Write play) [x] | June 6, 1968

—Remember by John Lennon | Written: started July 1969 | Recorded: October 9, 1970 (John’s 30th birthday), after seeing his father the last time | Released: December 11, 1970

—Get Enough by Paul McCartney | Written: 2016-2018 (?) | Recorded: 2018 | Released: January 1, 2019 (midnight)

#john and paul #thematics #sticking pins in my corkboard #in his own write #i remember arnold #get enough #1968 #remember #1970 #johns 30th birthday he unloads primal on his dad and jams with the other beatles paul noticably absent #remember quotes bring it on home #bring it on home to me #which oh! darling is built off of #the ending has the guy fawkes reference ‘remember the 5th of november’ #and the explosion he claims was politcl but it sounds like blowing up your past memories to me #john interview #stumbled on this interview again looking up stuff from the dick cavett interview #my brain did a thing connecting all of these today #i connected the dots (you connected nothing) #who know who knows but i wanted to put them together to…remember #i love the bit he mentions about realizing all the different creative bits are similar after all #the emphasis on using sound to communicate a feeling hits right on to me #creativity #memories #johns books #gender bendy character #needs a tag there’s so many #mine #song links #it’s interesting too that both remember and get enough are products of studio improv

[louroth]

forgive me if this has been asked before, but will there be deaths for our Hunter to get before the actual ending? 👀 if yes, will we know our ROs reactions, like aftermath POVs or something? sorry if that's too spoilery

MCs death is my favorite flavor of angst, especially if ROs are somehow involved in what lead to it :D

I think it's safe to say that every RO goes batshit crazy. But just in what way, you're going to have to find out for yourself...

Thanks for the ask nony!! 🖤

#OUROBOROS #ouroboros-if #interactive fiction #ouroboros spoilers #I laughed when I saw this bc the writing I did today was literally this #it comes later in the story though but I wanted a bit of a palate cleanser #anon our brains are beaming psychic blasts at each other. MC death is also my favorite flavor angst!!! #as well as what leads UP to the death. if you follow me on my pers you have seen me reblog the trope a few times HEHE #above text is if you choose for it to fail 💀god I can't wait to get there #sneak peek

[blondiest]

girl help i lost sight of creating things first and foremost for myself and got overly invested in external validation therefore setting myself up to feel terrible about my works because i started looking at them too closely and became paranoid that they weren't good enough and that people would think they're stupid and—

i am going to be on here less and for a little while may be engaging with other people's writing a bit less as i try to get back into my own creative flow again 🥲 will still pop in now and again but i think being too tuned-in to everything has been making me a little insecure (<- a me problem; all of you are lovely and sweet) and with some added work stress i'm just!!! not engaging with things in a way that makes me happy or that feels particularly healthy.

honestly i feel strange even bothering to make a post about this bc Who Cares but i didn't want anyone to feel ignored if i am just straight not replying to messages etc for chunks of time. 🤝

#sorry for being weird i feel super stupid that i can't just like. force my brain to not do dumb shit. but. #i want to get back to just writing for myself and not worrying about whether or not other people think it's Good #bc when i first started posting i literally did not fucking care at all if anyone read it #and i think i would like to get back to that #hopefully work will chill out and my general anxiety will die down and i will rise from the ashes to girlblog again but in the meantime #uhhhh stay frosty i guess #also for the record i am fine!! i really am. not even having a crisis currently. i have just been thinking about #how i can engage with fandom in a way that makes it easier to stay normal about my own stuff #and i think in the short term the answer is reducing my engagement :-) i been too online baby #i will still be doing the near birthday posts also. just need to schedule the rest at some point today. #okay love you bye #blondiepost

[bellasdragons]

Sketch of my progens!

I'm "participating" in NaNoWritMo this year - by writing lore for my clan! I'm not aiming to get 50k words or a coherent original novel, but I really miss writing and my friend was considering doing nano this year, so I said I'LL DO IT TOO, but my goal is to just... write. It's gonna be lore snippets (both for my clan overall and for individual dragons), stuff for my Neopets, maybe some fanfic ideas that have been percolating - whatever comes to mind. Have some fun with it, y'know?

I already got a nice little prologue written about how Magpie (Fae, custom progen) and Veil (Mirror, random progen) meet, and gives a bit of a setting introduction. c:

#it isn't much but it's honest work.gif #y'all it's been so long since I wrote anything but it's making me like my progens again #weirdly so did breeding them on my frversary (1 egg which worked PERFECTLY for a lore idea) #since then I"ve been thinking about writing but never did and now I actually have things written and am drawing them and and #*flails* #I wanted to write a bunch today but had a fuzzy brain day and migraine which seem to be finally going away #but anyway I sketched them instead C: #Catfeathers Art #Clan of the Featherfall Reaches #c: Magpie #c: Veil

[the-raging-tempest]

pretty pretty please can you talk more about ginger zrise i have a mighty need to know what he’s looking for im trying to make that man a father

LMAO Hi! You know what. I’m always happy to go on a ramble! Sure. Sure. Okay JESUS CHRIST this turned into a monster. Watch me live try and figure this out

What is he looking for? That’s a question I haven’t really considered. I’ll be honest. But you know what I’ll get this version of him more fleshed out.

I see him having some things in common to og Zrise. I think he still likes strong personalities. He is probably not drawn to the stoic or quiet type immediately. As much as he loves his sister he is not a fan of dragging things out of people. I think he still is drawn to those with confidence. But for a different reason and he probably admires a different kind of confidence. I think it’s not envy anymore. It’s appreciation. I think this version of him is much more into people who have a good impact on others. Once again og Zrise was very envious of that but now it’s admiration. I think he still likes a chase but no longer a fight (to get affection that is) LMAO

I think this version of him is the type to passively admire a lot of people. But he’s a little hesitant about love or getting too close. He can certainly flirt and tease in a playful manner. But once things seem to cross into moving towards more intimate / romantic / sexual I see him kind of sheepishly backing off. Very ‘hah well you called my bluff and I can’t ante up’

I imagine because no Calistrian clergy, no training, no sex work, he’s very different in that department. I think he probably has some experience but not much. I don’t think he’s ever been in love before.

In my mind I think he’d easily make casual acquaintances. Harder for him to have long term friends. Not super intentional on his part. But it’s half not wanting to hurt people when he has to go wander. But also I think he’s sheepish about someone who looks at him with a deeply curious eye. I also still see him as the type to not really be locked down. Still working and traveling a lot. Just now with completely different intentions.

I see him as hesitate about romantic love because I think he’s actually scared about being drawn in too many directions. He’s worried about loosing focus. Which is funny for someone who worships the goddess of love. In his mind it’s that romantic love ‘eludes’ him. He’s kind of waiting for it to knock him on his ass. Love is something he’s not looking for but when he finds it I image he’ll be a wreck (affectionate).

I think he’s still worried about not being a good choice for someone. But not because he’s self destructive but he’s just a little flighty and finds it hard to open up. Very surface level friendly and kind but a little shy or sheepish. Worrying any feelings he would grown could be a burden to someone. Also he still loves dueling, combat, using his battle prowess to do good. He’s much less blood thirsty, but it means he worries about getting injured or dying and breaking someone’s heart. I think if he did fall in love a lot of these insecurities would fall to the wayside.

This version, unlike his og self, is the sibling that can have children biologically should he choose. The cursed making whoever has it infertile. So his mother is CONSTANTLY trying to set him up with ‘eligible singles’ usually women. Heirs are important to nobles. Though he would reject this. I think he’d really resent the heteronormativity. He’d still be very bisexual but his mother would say things like ‘I thought I was a lesbian and I’m not anymore.’ LMAO

Another reason he’s anxious about falling for someone. Because then he’s gonna have to break it to his mother and sister…

Zrise as a father… this version at least… getting emotional about it… this is hard. This is like so so so far from og Zrise but… it’s just stripping away all the curse and deep deep self loathing. Hmmm I think it wouldn’t be his first instinct to want to be a father. I think he would worry about the kind of parent he’d be. But I think he’d also want to be better than his mother and his father. But once he had a child or heard he was going to have one… I think that baby would have him wrapped around their little finger… and now I’m crying thanks

#ask #anon #oc: zrise #tf: Zrise #twisted fate au #this got my brain spinning and I hope it’s comprehensible in any manner #I love when people ask questions and I just… write paragraphs LMAO #I’m like half awake #but typing this in a fever dream #also who are you #sorry I’m brain dead today #sometimes I get so lost in the sauce I can’t tell if I answered the question #this did make me laugh but also I was like I don’t know how to respond anon #thank you I’m flattered #😳 #sometimes I am realizing… #I am too literal #maybe you didn’t want a lore dump AAAAHHH #I’ve been a drawing machine and I think I’m crashing ever so slightly HAHA

[winterrose42]

"I can fix him" "i can make him worse"

I can put him in therapy and make him learn communication skills

#winter speaks #for legal.purposes this is just a silly rant #the i and him are boyh me #character growth ia all well and good h til.youre tge one doin it and then its like oh. oh ouch. oh big ouch wtf o want off the ride #bjt the ridw is necessary and its akin to draggimg a toddler to.the dentisg #i only vaguely understand wjats happening and what to do and im trying myndamndesy to git the square throuhh the cir le #and iyll work but no kne will be happy abouy it for at least a few weeks #and i have to do.little letters of today inlearned bc my brains so fucked right now i cannit remmeber the lessons unless #i write them fifty fuck times #i am so tired and brumpy about existance today and i am working a twelve hour shift #but tofay i learned my nose was in fact most likely broken when i was like sevem ir eigjt #and kts not a normal thing to brush your teeth til the gums bleed thats nit how they get clean #so this weekend i get to research dental heigiene bc i just never did iy bc it fuckin hurt and i finallu know #where the bump on my nose came from. my head wishes to be lut through comcrete

[nat-seal-well]

I think 1,700 words is enough for one day

#I WANT to write more #but now my brain is tired #that’s all I’ve done yesterday and today is write lol #I did like another 1000+ yesterday

[bigcats-birds-and-books]

ADHD Brain Moods™ (Derogatory Edition)

well, i got uuuuh four (4) sentences written of my ~Revisions~ today (i’m straight up not having a good time over here), but i DID jot down some classifications of the ADHD Brain Moods™ (Derogatory Edition), so have those instead internet:

>> “My brain is full of static” -- There’s nothing going on in there but ineffective Noise and it’s hell; I’m halfway to dissociated and everything is stupid and I Don’t Want To Be Here.

>> “My brain is full of spiders” -- Altogether too many legs; jerky, predatory, and agitated; itchy but can’t find the right spot to scratch for relief, Generally Irritated and Irritable

>> “My brain is full of crickets” -- Superficially seems quieter and level in there, but out of the blue we’ll SPRING to something totally unrelated and unexpected and we won’t get our scheduled shit done (or: Impulsive As Fuck)

#text #personal #whine whine whine #adhd #brain moods #anyway writing did Not Go Well but at least i have this stupid list that i can keep adding to when my brain is being Uncooperative #(and yes i know it's impending period time and i KNOW that makes it much worse but like. can we quit. i have shit to do and 48 weekend hour #and that's it. just. 48 hours. which is bullshit) #today started as crickets and then we slid into static for a while and now we're at spiders #but the order i recognized the Brain Moods is the one presented above #soooo i guess i'm gonna go knit to get a dopamine hit from finishing a square maybe #or just. read. also an option #i SHOULD do laundry. i absolutely don't want to do laundry. #in btw #driscoll #revising #writing

[miabrown007]

a minute of silence to my skills to estimate how long a project is ever going to take

#my google calendar and Carl bot (and my friends) have been kind enough to inform me today was the estimated posting date of heist au #suffice to say that is not happening #it would have been rad to make a habit out of the co-occurrence of starting a new job and starting to post a finished WIP but alas #that will not be happening for a while longer #I have no idea when will I find the time for writing between two jobs and the big bang but. we'll work something out. #but hey it's good to give your projects breathing space so your brain can do the work in the background and solve the problems for you #I'll probably need to go back and revamp the whole last chapter I've been working on #but I'm still too sick and jet lagged and sick to be thinking about that so I'll consume some more media in the meantime #and complain about how bad the fic I'm listening to is. like god it's supposed to be so romantic and cute and he's literally #depriving her bodily autonomy and her friends support him I want to leave a strongly worded comment so bad #I will not be doing that but god it's so awful I should have stopped listening to this fic long ago. so that's a lesson learned. #put the fucking fic down there's plenty of stuff that's going to be better #hot take I sure no one saw coming sometimes things that are popular are actually bad #anyway have some stream of fucking consciousness /ref to another fic I'm fighting hard to keep discontinued #I know I won't like it why is this so hard #heist au should have been posted today based on maths btw. maths I did wrong for the first time which means it should have been posted #a year ago really #not like I have the proper structure to do a heist au daily #but it would have been fun to post the first chapter on the exact day it takes place. idk just for flavour #does all this make any sense? hardly. this is a diary entry and my two braincells are firing random thoughts at each other #that's fine though. it's all fine. here have some popcorn to go with all this nonsense 🍿🍿🍿 <3 #(and also all the drama in the new shadow and bone season. ugh it's so good I love Wesper SO. MUCH. or just Waylan. and Nikolai. #he's my blorbo assigned at first relevant information. relavant information: he's my friend's blorbo #but gods he's so my type it's scary. of course I'll have him as my blorbo. of course of course! #*puts him on a shelf next to Adrien Draco and Hunter* #*steps back to think before putting Waylan there too and sitting Zuko on the far end* #war crimes look so good on them :3 #miaing #heist au

[coquelicoq]

Speaking of crosswords, I made a new friend that loves them (her personal record for the nyt mini is 13 seconds!!!) and we were doing paper plate awards and I made hers a super basic crossword and she was so excited she cried a little!

Anyways I told her she should start trying to write them, considering she says she literally sees crosswords when her eyes are closed. Just wanted to share since you are The Crossword Person in my brain lol

that's awesome! i hope she tries it out and has fun with it! i think writing crosswords enhances the crossword-solving experience because you better understand what goes into it and can really admire a clever theme or an elegant fill in a way that you might not have noticed otherwise. at least that's been the case for me! it also makes me way crankier now when i see a poorly done puzzle, but you win some you lose some. best of luck to her!! <3

#la times and usa today i am looking at you #usa today doesn't even have rotational symmetry in their themed puzzles 🙄 what is this amateur hour??? #i just feel like in a national paper that pays for crosswords there should be some standards #don't get me started on the la times. which is apparently syndicated all over the world?? but it sucks??? #again like it's relative. if the la times crossword was written by some rando for his ten friends it would be fine #but that's a paper with a huge circulation...ridiculous #whoops i'm being so negative in the tags lol thank you for coming to tell me this!!! i'm so glad to be The Crossword Person in ur brain #as you can see i have a lot of thoughts about crosswords at all times #i spent like an hour telling my family about my beef with will shortz on vacation #they were fascinated. they just wanted me to talk about something and once they got me on the topic there was a lot to say #(much of it was my grandmother repeatedly telling me to send will shortz THREATENING EMAILS giving him ultimatums that i would #go on FACEBOOK and TELL EVERYONE that he scammed me out of $60 (which is probably not exactly what happened #but the fact remains i paid him $60 and he did not give me the thing that i paid for) if he didn't rectify the situation within #TWENTY-FOUR HOURS #it was so funny i was like grammy you watch too many spy movies...) #cruciverbs #asks #not anon #it was so sweet of you to write her a crossword! i bet that made her feel really special and seen <3

[byanyan]

...staring at my drafts and realizing i should perhaps consider pausing on answering ask prompts to start getting caught back up on those instead bc the number is back in the 40s & i just found a starter i completely forgot about bc it got lost on the second page :x

#a few weeks of mentally struggling & being out of it has really done a number on all that hard work i did getting (almost) caught up l-lmao #tbf everything except like. 2 threads (& a few unprompted asks that're in there) are all from march & april but. hhhh. #i was doing sm better at staying on top of stuff and then suddenly that all went to hell lmakjfakjs #really tho i suppose i should just keep doing whatever i'm feeling/enjoying the most right? #i'm here to have fun not stress over deadlines that don't exist for replies #need to get better at remembering that. need to..... idk. stop feeling overwhelmed over a hobby lmao #i just!!!! feel so bad leaving things for so long!!! i worry it makes people think i don't want to write w them #or i've lost interest or smth which!!! is not at all the case!!!! my brain just sucks so bad!!!!! #i'm rambling to myself ignore me ajsfksd i'll see what i feel like tackling tomorrow #hopefully?? i'll have some better focus??? bc my writing has still felt v disjointed today and i don't. like that. at all. #but my usual routine around the house is still kinda disrupted & off-kilter until monday which i think is playing a big part in my struggle #so. idk. we'll see. i'm still rambling i'm sorry pls continue ignoring me askjfsd #━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ ooc ⋮ don't @ me.

[stolencrownsofplenty]

((Me currently with my brain while suffering writer's block, only managing to get one paragraph for a draft done))

#ooc #flashing cw // #((did not get enough time to write today and all my brain managed to get out was a paragraph. not bad considering my day was dumb #today)) #((still wanted to finish a draft since I was gone all weekend)) #((might have to finish it tomorrow since I am still trying to start the writing engine in my brain that makes me write lol))

[look-at-the-stars-tonight]

I ran this morning AND wrote some AND made art and I’m so proud of me

#didn’t get any of my actual office work done oopsies #but in my defense it’s a Friday and also I did allot time for it I just ended up not doing it #anyways still proud of me!!! guys art is so so important and I know that and I preach that but I haven’t been doing it #and I just picked up a blank sheet of paper and did it #and is it good or anatomically correct? no but it was so FUN #and I’ve been working thought Tim Clare’s writing stuff and it’s been GOOD #I like this new series of exercises a lot better than the couch to 80k #they’re. the same honestly and I don’t actually care about his commentary all that much #maybe I’m just more present or more invested in them #I only ran for 15. min and then I had to call my brother to pick me up because the heat was gonna make me pass out :/ #but also I TRIED #I fucking tried today #also did u know running is utterly miserable. #runners high is def a thing #felt amazing afterward #but holy shit it’s awful in the moment #my roommate ran a 25k recently and I talked to her about it and she said it never gets better #which is. not very encouraging #but also I Want To run as much of this 5k as I can #maybe I’ll be dead after but it’s fine I have a couple days to recuperate before the eclipse #WHICH IM ALSO EXCITED SBOIT. I’ve never seen a total eclipse before #goddamit my brain jumped to too many places #delete later #anyways. if u didn’t u should acknowledge ur accomplishments today #even if they didn’t feel like much #now I’m gonna go read a 115k fanfic that’s gonna wreck me #that’s my treat to me #I HAVE ACTUAL BOOKS TO FINISH. but NO. THIS is how I’m spending my time. and it’s fine I’m valid #I’ve been talking to all the lesbians about running too #and they’ve been so encouraging too!! I love my coworkers and very distantly related coworkers sm