#my boyfriend and i share the same brainwave

[welldonebeca]

the devil in the marble (5)

WC: 1.7k words Warnings: Flirting, fluff, first kisses, canon compliance.

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Chapter 4

Cato washed his hands before anyone else and pulled your chair for you to sit before doing so by your side.

The whole dinner, he charmed your mother with his stories, and praised her food and the decoration of the house several times, even offering himself to clean up, but she shooed him away. It was Jupiter's job to do so today, and Juno was the one supposed to wash them.

"Go, go, you two," mum shooed you two out of the dining room. "Honey, you can show him your prototypes for your statues while we work down here. I'm sure Cato will like it."

He looked a bit smug as she spoke and picked up your bags from the couch before walking to you again, and pointing at the stairs.

"Ladies first."

You tried not to be self-conscious about your clothes as you climbed up, but you couldn't help yourself. Was he looking at your butt? Your butt was really nice, he should be looking at it.

You waited for him at the top of the stairs and took his hand, guiding him to your bedroom, grateful that you'd cleaned it before you left, and opened the door for him.

The space wasn't too big - your father had taken two rooms that were initially on that side of the house and transformed them into three, which meant they were a little bit more cramped, but you all had privacy - especially with all the stuff you had there, never someone to give up on your things easily.

Cato looked around with interest in his eyes, through the piles of sketchbooks, the cup with colourful pencils and pens, your tablet and the picture of your family all together you had on a corner, and stopped by the clay miniatures you'd worked on to find the perfect design for your statue, which now was a paperweight.

"What's that?" he pointed at your camera case.

"My camera," you told him. "Juno has a printer, she lets me use it if I do her chores for the day."

He picked it up, and then the folder under it, raising his eyebrows at what was underneath it: Your many, many pictures of him.

"You printed them all?" he asked.

You nodded, shrugging.

"It's easier. There was only so much zooming I could do on the video, and I wanted something I could look at with precision."

He chuckled.

"Lots of time looking at my face," he looked at you. "I probably look very boring to you now."

You smiled, shaking your head.

"I don't know," you shrugged. "I keep finding things I hadn't noticed about you every time we see one another."

His face softened in surprise, and his lips curled up a bit as he stepped back from your workstation to approach you.

You crossed your arms as he walked to you, though, and he stopped.

"What?" he asked.

You shifted on your spot.

Your mother was already speaking of him as if he was your boyfriend, but Cato had never even said why he was so interested in you all of a sudden.

"I need to ask you something."

He seemed surprised, standing a bit less open.

"Go ahead."

"Why are you hanging out with me all of a sudden?" you asked. "We only had the posing sessions, and then you decide you want to be around me? Hold my hand at school, walk me home, meet my mother..."

"To be fair, she was the one who wanted to meet me," he corrected you. "And I just agreed."

You raised your eyebrows to him. Well... Yes.

"My question still stands," you insisted.

Cato looked around and pulled up your work chair, sitting down as you sat on your bed.

"You know, you Elettra girls might share some brainwaves," he joked. "Your sister asked me the same thing when you left, although she wasn't too nice about it."

You nodded a bit. Well, Juno was never nice.

"What did you tell her?"

"That I think you are really pretty," he told you. "And that you are great company, and spending time with you made me curious about you. It's why I searched your company."

You adjusted your back, processing his words.

"Really?" you asked. "That's all?"

Cato shook his head.

"Well... I'm as close as ever to the games," he told you. "I need to know what I'll do when I win, and I think I can have a girlfriend now."

That surprised you. Yes, you remember Cato around school, and he never had a girlfriend, not that you knew of. He had friends of all genders, but whenever you even saw them they were training, and doing other things that would end up in training.

"After the games?" you asked him.

He confirmed with his head.

"I've spent my whole life focusing on this, and now that I see it, and I know I'm gonna get in, I know!" he insisted to you. "I can think of the rest of my life."

You tilted your head, watching him.

Oh.

It made sense.

"And I like you," he spoke, at last. "I like the way you do your art, and I like your person."

Cato had a very mischievous smile as he leaned closer to you.

"So?" he asked softly. "Do you like that answer?"

You nodded softly, watching him closely.

"I think you're really pretty too," you confessed. "I was really happy when you accepted to pose for me."

He smiled more, leaning closer to you.

"Sweet pretty girl," he whispered, taking your chin in his hand, holding you very gently, as if you were something fragile, easy to break. "Have you ever been kissed?"

You licked your lips, growing warmer on your face.

"No," you whispered.

Cato breathed out slowly, almost blowing against your lips.

"Do you want to be?"

You shivered at the offer.

"Please."

He pressed his lips to yours, sweet and gentle.

His lips were soft, and had a bit of a scratchy feeling, as if he'd spent time picking on them, and his skin was just healing, but it felt nice.

He pulled away slowly, resting his forehead on yours as you kept your eyes closed.

You reached for him again for another right after, and you felt him smiling in reaction, letting your jaw go, and you let him in when he pressed your tongue against your lower lip.

It was a little strange to tongue kiss, but you followed his lead, and gasped a bit when Cato put his hand on your waist and lifted you up, pulling your body flush against his and slowly turning you two around until he was sat on your bed, and you were leaning against him.

He bit your lower lip as he pulled back, leaving you breathless and soft.

"Do you want to sit down?" he offered, panting a bit.

You opened your eyes, finding Cato already sitting on your mattress, pink on the cheeks as he looked at you.

"Where?"

He looked down at himself, pulling you slowly.

"My legs?" he offered gently.

You swallowed down and nodded, and he held you as you spread your legs and sat on his thighs, spreading your legs and straddling his hips, and knees on your bed, but still with a bit of a distance between you two.

"Like this?" you asked, feeling your face hot.

He nodded, caressing your back, but didn't pull you closer before kissing you again, leaning closer to you, holding you by your waist, and you put your hands on his shoulders.

You two kissed and kissed and kissed, until you were outrightly melting in his arms.

And, of course, because you two couldn't catch a break, the sound of a fist slamming against wood made you jump back from him.

"Mum!" Juno yelled as she ran off.

You glared her way. Now she was just being antagonistic!

Cato didn't hold you as she walked off, and you stood up, walking out of your room and to the side of the stairs, finding her already dragging your mother in your direction.

"Juno!" she grabbed her hand.

He put a hand on your back, leaning in with you, a little spooked.

"I'm not doing anything wrong!" you warned them from up the stairs. "I don't have anything to hide!"

Your mother sighed.

"Juno, leave your sister be," she let her go, walking off to the kitchen.

"They are in her room!" she insisted. "Why does she get to have a boy in her room and I can't?!"

Your mother didn't even turn back for her.

"She is 18, you are 15," she said simply, sounding like she was in the kitchen. "Is the door open, honey?"

Cato leaned a little, as if to try to see it.

"Wide open, Mrs Elettra," he informed her. "It's how she saw it." 

You looked back at him, and he looked absolutely amused, as if everything was all pure comedy. Why was he amused?

"Keep it open," she told you two. "Don't mind Juno. She gets stressed when she doesn't train in the morning."

Cato tugged on your hand to get you back into your room, laughing to himself, squeezing you closed by your middle.

"Come on, pretty girl," he chuckled into your neck. "You got nothing to hide."

You shook your head, turning around, and he sat down again, pulling you to sit on his thighs.

"What is so funny?" you asked, crossing your arms.

Why was he so amused?

But Cato tugged on your hands to release them, taking your arm and your hand, kissing your palm.

"Your little sister is the most chaotic person I've ever seen," he chuckled. "It's funny."

You watched him, confused.

"Funny?"

Cato raised his finger to your face, tapping your nose.

"You're adorable," he decided. "Yes, sweet girl. I like watching chaos."

You nodded a bit.

"Alright," you agreed in a half-mumble.

"Is that a problem?" he asked. "That I like chaos."

You watched him for a moment, his face and eyes very quiet as he waited for an answer, but you could see a hint of worry.

"No," you decided. "It's not a problem."

Chapter 6

. . .

"the devil in the marble" was posted on my Patreon in June 2023! To read the available chapters and read the last arc of the story as it gets published, subscribe to my page! It's just $2 a month and I promise you won't regret it.

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[jmwriters]

50% divorced - I’m Not Going To Be Like That

A Young Person’s view on what’s needed to break the cycle. 

 Sharing a house in Bronte in the Eastern suburb of Sydney. What’s fun was life was interesting, was sharing all good things. And finally, one of my good friends from there came to stay over the weekend with her very much grown children now like 16, 15 and 9 years of age and like myself and actually all four of us females in our early twenties at the time were living together with a couple of other guys who had different people share the fifth room, nice big five-bedroom house in Bronte. And all of us are not with the fathers of our children and we're all quite happy or do fine. So today, mostly neutral relationships, not necessarily for her. It's still pre-mid-divorce and there's still lots of angst to some of the conversation, it was around that, and around acknowledging the pain and the frustration, and then moving through, what does the next phase look like?

 And her daughter who's very, very competent young woman, just amazing, really to listen to. That’s a 16-year-old. She said, “Well, given that 50% of people (when we say people, let's just say in NSW, that's a stat that we know is correct) 50% of marriages end in divorce.” She said, well, “If the children learn by seeing what their parents did, that didn't keep them together, and they did differently. It'd be interesting to see the statistics of when these children grow up like her generation”, because as she said, she’d be thinking to do things differently from her parents. So, it wouldn't repeat the same mistake. And I shared that I too grew up in a house where alcohol, violence... See, I keep going to downplay it and say, well, isn't it really that violent. It was okay. There was a lot of fighting. There's physical fighting between my mum and dad. And even if it wasn't s lot, it stood out enough that it was definitely a thing. And when it wasn't actually happening, there was the suspense that it may happen at any time.

 So, there was the need to sort of feel on guard. So, the adrenals were ready at a young age and watching for signs that you get used to, “if this happens and that happens”, it's more likely to be outburst. And that's the biochemistry that I was creating in my body as a young child. And then I had a number of boyfriends, mostly quite long-term, couple of years each, and the ones that weren't so long, short term were the ones I said were boring.

 And it was only years later. My Grandmother Pa'Ris'Ha suggest one of the many books she’s suggested, and movies was “What the bleep do we know?” Now that's been around quite a while now, seems quite simple. It was a number of scientists or what other people were saying, pseudo scientists, ‘cause they had spirit and the other parts in them, but absolutely real science in there as well.

 And one of the key parts was chemical addiction to emotion and that Cherokee and many others who have learnt from, know that this is a thing and have tools and techniques to work with the young people and with older people, with anyone, when there's a pattern that's there to allow the person to reflect and release and see those patterns for themselves.

 And this part of chemical addiction to emotion, when I realized it, I was like “Oh wow…” I didn't really have words for it. It's just, you feel it. There's a feeling in the body of when you have one of those aha moments of your own. And a quick aside, reminds me of another

teaching Grandmother Pa'Ris'Ha where we see butterflies and that's often associated with transformation. Yes, the caterpillar goes into the cocoon. It undergoes an amazing transformation. It pushes through resistance to come out. That's all teachings. Another teaching, which I found really interesting was the one that's termed “don't steal another person's thunder.” And that is their aha moment because when someone gets to realize something for themselves, it really is like thunder. There is a change inside their biochemistry. And if you put brainwave sensors on it, quite often, it would show that there's a registering of what's gamma brainwaves. Now you don't necessarily need to know what that means right now, except so the concept isn't strange to you, it means like really high frequency. So, there’s really something's happening here. It's like, “wow”. So, these waves like your brain, you just know brainwaves (people talk about brainwaves all the time). There's certain brainwaves when you're awake, like beta, you're looking out, you're really active to the outside world. And there's brainwaves when you start to go to sleep, you can say Delta, you can say different sets of brainwaves are associated with different types of thinking or activities like deep sleep, meditation, completely awake, very alert. So, these gamma ones are the ones that are sort of off the Richter of normal behavior, normal thinking, normal sleeping. And it's the aha moment. So not stealing someone else's thunder, it means allow them to have that aha moment. And from a biochemical perspective, there are lots of reasons for that. It has effect more than you telling somebody so much more than ever what you say to someone, unless what you've said creates the aha moment. 

 And in traditional ways, and in many good therapist's ways as well, the power is in asking the questions, rather than telling. So, if you ask questions, and a person is able to answer such that they hear themselves, and they have that ability to go, “Aha.”  That's a true healing way. So back to our chemical addiction to emotion, not stealing thunder would mean, at that point where you're going through a realization, you allow the person to go through it. So, you don't jump ahead and say, “Yeah, that's right.”, “That's why you'd be feeling like this.”, or “You would have that.” or specially to put it on somebody to say, “You are thinking like this”, or “You are feeling like that.” So, allow them to have their thunder and their aha moment.

 And back to the story, in the process of then sharing my story, I was able to say that there was a point when I watched that movie. And the aha moment, there was a visual in there, where the woman (she was actually a sex addict) and she was telling her cells, to her body, was saying “Yeah, let's go out and find somebody.” And it was a bit confronting in that because my conservative upbringing was like, “Whoa, that's not what females do.” That's a different aha moment to look at that conditioning. But it was that she was then talking to her cells in her body and saying, “No, we're not doing that today”. And I then realized at the time I was working in local government and at 3 o'clock, I'd start to feel like a cherry ripe. That's a little chocolate, very artificial middles, dark chocolate on the outside, sugar, the whole bit. Only small, about three centimeters or little over an inch long. And somehow, I justified that it was good because they were in there as fundraisers. So, you'd put in your 50 cents or $2 or whatever you put in, and took your little chocolate and went back to your desk.

 And I realized that was more accurate than any clock that I had. My body would say, “This is the time for that particular set of chocolates and everything that came with the dopamine hit the whole lot. So that had become a routine addiction. And having watched the movie, I was then able to say to my cells, “No, we're not doing that anymore.”

 And I'm in control. And this brought back the teachings of Grandmother Pa'Ris'Ha of whose talking. There are so many script lines in there in our head. So many voices that seem logical when they come up to let you know, well, actually the little bit of sugar now, will this, or it's got coconut in it, or it raises money for other things for the lion's club.

 You could start one. It's not a new moon today, you might as well just start next Wednesday, because that’s new moon, that's a good time to start. Who is talking, whose script is that? Because, my real feeling (when I say me, I could be talking about the essence of myself that thinks of the future) what do I want to feel like, look like, do like, be like right now, therefore, what are the steps I need to take?

 And that included not having chocolate every day, not having the sugar highs and lows, not having my body telling me what the next action was. So, from that perspective, I was able to say, who's talking and who's talking was the body and the cells, because they'd been conditioned to that particular chocolate. Now, did just telling them once fix it? No, many times over a number of weeks until I didn't even have that feeling anymore.

 Now, why did it take weeks? Actually, from a biological perspective, it can take three months. So, if you imagine a cell and it has a membrane, so it has a little packet, a little skin on the outside, and then it has the DNA or the information on the inside, that DNA on the inside is what then creates the messages that go around the body, like it will create this protein or create that one, or it will send a message to a particular gland that will then say produce this hormone, or this feeling, so incredibly fast. Another recommendation is to look into your biochemistry of your body and how it works. Just choose one piece, choose how a kidney works or have a look how the happiness or the dopamine gets released when you have chocolate or when you finish a project that you've been delaying, they will do it. But again, back to the story, there's that ability then to have the cell membrane influence the DNA.

 Now how it does that. And Bruce Lipton describes this beautifully. So, I look up Bruce Lipton as well. He's a scientist. He does a lot in the biology. He's worked with some of the original work of that person I mentioned, Candace Pert, who did the book, biology of belief. And Bruce points out it's a brain membrane and think of that word brain in there, because the cell membrane has these little doors all over it and the doors, some of them are just open all the time. Things come in and out. Some of them have specific keys that needs to be unlocked to let that particular substance in. So, the cell membrane is full of doors. As we said, some open, some with keys. What gets in and out of the membrane is what then triggers the DNA what to create. Now, if we think of the DNA quickly as a massive recipe book, there are so many, many, many proteins, so many, many substances that can get made from the different combinations of the ingredients that we have. And it's the DNA as the recipe book that says, put one of these with one of those, and then one of these with one of those, and then they get matched up with the ingredients that are there.

 So, we have this huge recipe book. Usually, we only go to a couple of pages, like in many families, if you usually cook lasagna, nachos, fried rice, a mix of standard food, you're probably more likely going to go to those pages over and over again. And the more you go to those pages, some of them wear out a bit. That's another story. Listen to some of Bruce's information for that. 

 So, we've got this recipe book, now who's the, who's the chef that chooses what page of the recipe book? While it's quite often that little bit of information that comes through the door of the membrane. So, if you have, for example, a whole lot of information that says we are now low on dopamine, the one that makes you feel happy - then what is it actually saying something is low or high? Now you may know that the body has different chemicals, different substances, different particles, all through it. That's again, part of how we feel, part of how we work. For example, if we've eaten sugar, the work through our pancreas and many other, it's not that simple, but many, many pieces of information through the body to then release the insulin, which is a substance, which helps convert that sugar to glucose. And when we're low on sugar, we also have a process that helps convert the sugar that's been stored back into blood sugar. So, we have a blood sugar level that you would have heard of people talking about blood sugar level. That's meant to be at a certain amount and the body regulates if it's got too low, they'll unpack some of the stored and put it back in. If it's too high, they'll pack some up and take it out. So that's happening all the time. And when you really see how influential it can be to not have that in place - I've got friends who are diabetics, and it's really interesting to see what happens when the levels get too low or too high, obviously. They have medication and things to make sure they're safe. - You can see when it's borderline and they let you know. So that's happening all the time, but it's not just the sugar. Everything else has levels. So, our body knows some biological levels that are within the realms, how the body works safely, but then there's also ones that we create an example for those who crave of smoking. Now, whether you've smoked or not, or know someone who's smoked or not, I call it around here. There's so few people that smoke these days. Whereas when I was growing up, it was so normal. Even our house had this haze where if you went the bottom meter of the laundry room, didn't have the smoke. And then from there, there was a clear blue line. And from there it was all this blue smoke that hung in the air.

 So, nicotine, the addiction to it. 

There's a time then when that cell membrane that we talked about with all the doors and the keys, the cell membrane has a little doorway with a lock that says, this is the one for nicotine. Now the cell membrane is very accommodating. It's like having a house and whatever people are on the outside of that house, if each different sort of person had to come in a different door, they want to make sure that everyone is able to get into the house.

 So, if some people need a certain type of door, and different people need a different type of door, they make more doors. If you've got more nicotine sitting outside the cell, the cell will realize this, there's more on the outside of the membrane than the inside, and that they need to make more receptor sites to be more welcoming for that substance to come in.

 There's not an override that says this is not healthy for you. Therefore, we will not make more receptor sites. Self-determinism is so high that there is complete allowance to choose. That's another story. When you work with traditional peoples or even some therapists, there isn't an acknowledgement that there was a time well back in our creation of this physical form, that self-determinism was included there for the detriment or the betterment of a person.

 So, if we feel like something, like a cigarette, like an ice cream, like anything that we at other times with logically say that's not in alignment with my body's best interest and believe me, sometimes the cigarette might be in someone's best interest and ice cream at sometimes might be in someone's best interest.

 Please know that I'm not saying these things are good or bad, but it's, “who's talking”, as Pa'Ris'Ha said, “ask who's talking”. So, if it's the body that now has so many of these little doorways to nicotine, and if this nicotine has started to reduce in level, because someone's made that conscious decision to reduce their nicotine intake, or their sugar intake, or their salt intake, or their anger intake (now, let's get back to that one after), it'll have doors with nobody coming through it, and it will say, “Hey, something's gone wrong”. We had all these doors ready, and now it's not there. Let's send a message up to the brain that this particular substance isn't coming through the door anymore. So, we need more.

 So, then the cells send information to the brain to say, “Hey, we're low on nicotine.” And this is really where the who's talking comes in. So, the body then can make up wonderful scenarios. Here's a quick example from mine. I finished the science degree, we had an honors year where you do research and write a thesis, obviously that has a timeline in which to do it. When you get to the end, that timeline can feel very compressed. I was sleeping little. Spending long nights, moved in to live on campus so I only had to work from walk from the biology building over to the campus, sleep a little, 8 in the morning, start working again. There was a lot of adrenaline associated in those last days, weeks, actually. Now I remember at one time thinking, when I've handed this thesis in, I am just going to feel amazing.

 The reality, I handed the thesis in and I'd have a normal day or good. Didn't quite feel amazing, but it felt good. But then I'd go to bed at night. And my mind, this is the who's talking, the body cells, I realized later the benefit of hindsight, the body cells were saying to me. We made all these receptor sites for adrenaline and we're not getting enough. And all of a sudden, before I knew it, my body had created a scenario where my mind was playing a video of a little dog running out onto the road, just like in the little shopping complex area, near where I live and there's cars everywhere. And I'd be like, and I'd have a hit of adrenaline.

 I'd be like, why am I having these (not even dreams) I wasn't even asleep. Why am I having these? I didn't know the information then of chemical addiction to emotion.

 After some time when I did know, I was then able to say to my cells, I appreciate that you created the adrenaline. I appreciate that was the right thing that got us through, that particular set of life called finishing the thesis. We, including every wonderful cell in my body, we, do not need to do that anymore.

 And even that felt like, whoa, so now who's talking, I'm talking, I am the commander of these trillions of cells and it's like “oh, okay, we don't need to do that anymore”. A little bit of a lag time. It's still there, but it didn't have the same intensity. Because I realized what was going on, and soon the visualizations would stop. Same with the nicotine and the person when they realize that this story is the cells on the membrane.

 And then one might say, “when's it gonna stop?” If you've heard that little thing of, they say 3 minutes, 3 hours, 3 days, 3 weeks. The 3 months that things seem to come around quite a lot in terms of giving up addictions, and from a biological perspective in 3 months, very many of your cells - depends which cells, because they all have turnover times at different rates, like your red blood cells, turnover really fast, your white blood cells last longer, your brain cells longer, again, the inside - the cells in your stomach lining they're replaced every single day. So, on average, the cells that are being used in these communications of what's present, and what's not, what's going inside and outside of the cell, what is the DNA being triggered to create the page of this wonderful recipe book are we are opening, to create molecules that are going to pass out of the cell into the bloodstream and have effect on our thoughts, our emotions, our physicality. Those cells, enough of them, within three months, we'll have become new that if that particular thing as we go back to the nicotine, if the nicotine is no longer floating around outside them, they're not hanging around at the door waiting to get in. When that cell divides, when I say a new cell, if you imagine one cell, what happens first is all of the recipe book gets transcribed. So now we have two recipe books, and that's our DNA doubling itself up. In theory, perfectly, we don't want to change our recipes they've got to be exact. The DNA doubles itself up, creates two nucleuses. So that's basically the kitchen where the recipe book is held. So, we have a nucleus, being the kitchen, inside is the DNA, which is a recipe book. It has been beautifully copied so that now we have two copies of the recipe book and indeed two kitchens. Once we have that, then the cell membrane starts to pinch in a little bit like a figure 8 with one kitchen or one nucleus in each side. And that pinches right in, and becomes two cells. But unlike the recipe books that get copied meticulously, the cell membrane - it's a bit of an effort for benefit - if something's not being used, when it divides - so when you get the membrane breaking into two, it's not going to make a whole lot of extra doorways for nicotine to come in. If there hasn't been much nicotine coming in the door, that's a wasted effort. So, this time around, it creates fewer doorways for nicotine.

 So, each time that happens, if that particular substance isn't outside the door waiting to get in, when the cell divides, there are less doorways. Now this can mean if there's less doorways, there's going to be less messages from the body. Back up to the brain saying, “Hey, we're low on nicotine. We want more.” Whereas I said, low on sugar, low on receiving anger (we'll come back to that one). Then they make less receptor sites for it.

 So, there is that period in the first minutes, days, weeks, months, where it may not feel any different, and this is where coaches will say consistency is everything. Stick at it. It'll work out in the end. When you know why it works out - like some people don't need to know the why like this - I like the science and I've known it's helped in my life. So, when, you know why, you can also visualize yourselves as they divide having less receptor sites for whatever it is you're giving up. And when we say you're giving something up again, there's a psychology to that. It's not meant to feel like you've got less. You’ve got less having this, you can't have it.

 So, if we say, what are we changing? We are stopping that, and we are changing it to this. And again, if you look to nature, if nature has a river going in a particular way, if the river’s going to stop flowing one way, it just doesn't stop. It'll create a big dam, not dam going to bust out some time. So instead of saying to the river, you can't go there anymore, instead you just build a little farrow off to the side. So, some of the water can start going that way. And more water can start going that way. And if it really is in alignment with what works with the water as well, it'll have a new pathway. And when the water starts to flow in that way, it'll all go there in due the course.

 So, let's see it as a stop change, and again, Pa’Ris’Ha would often say, “who's talking” now that, you know, do a stop change. So, there's a bit of the biology behind who’s talking and behind stop change. So, we're not necessarily just giving up nicotine. What are we doing instead? Now that's going to be different for each person.

 The more you do of whatever that thing is, going for a walk in the morning, singing, dancing, drawing, gardening, meditating, listening to the birds. But it works also that if you had one or two receptor sites, say for the feeling, when you've done a good 20-minute walk, if you keep doing those 20-minute walks, you'll have more receptor sites for those. You will want to go on that 20-minute walk. So, as I said in the beginning, it's not necessarily that the body is selecting what's good for you or not good for you. It's responding biochemically to what is lining up outside the door. And that's, what's up to you. That's where, what you choose in your environment.

 And when I say your environment, the physicality that you're looking out there outside of your body as an environment, but so too is the fluids (‘cause you can sort of think of your body as this wet thing), the fluids that your cells are bathed in that fluid is the environment of the cell, that is the outside of the door of the cell.

 So, what is the environment that your cells are floating in? And that is influenced by what you eat, what you drink, what you breathe in, and again, they're the physicality’s. Now, just for a little stretch and we're going to complete with this one, because we just have it as an idea for now, everything I've just said about substances. If you extend that to emotions and have a little time thinking about that, you can be addicted to somebody being angry with you. Someone being angry with you creates the same physical response as taking a physical substance. You hear it, you feel. There is a thought. The thought is translated into a physical substance that moves through the bloodstream lines up outside a cell membrane door and says “I am”, whatever it might be.

 I am a victim. I am angry. And it can be positive as well. This full range, even to be angry, sometimes, it could be positive. It's like about time someone actually stands up and says, no, I'm going to step forward in my own self. So again, not to say any emotion is bad, but if it's out of balance, like the too much nicotine or sugar, it could be time to change, stop change.

 So, who's talking and stop change and more shared wisdom.

 It feels like saying have a lifetime, such an influence in my life of a lifetime of teachings with Grandmother Pa'Ris'Ha

 By GDB

 Originally published on JMWriters blog. Republished by permission.

#Grandmother Pa'Ris'Ha #Pa'Ris'Ha Taylor #quantum #brain science #personal development #Elderswisdom #life skills #lifelessons #spiritual mentor #spiritualawakening #science #addiction #behavior and cognition #behavioral science #relationships #divorce #love

[lovemeleo]

ok.... hear me out.... evgeni having to get his wisdom teeth taken out and being scared for the procedure and jackson comofrting him (also evgeni on anesthetics afterwards because I feel like that would be really funny)

(also I love your writing so much you're just amazing thx bye)

omg anon! I got so excited when I saw this prompt, I shared it with the whole SW discord server. Such a fantastic idea, and I hope I do it justice! I’m so glad you enjoy my writing, you’re so sweet! Hope you enjoy this fic xx

credit to @lumosinlove for the SW world and of course Nado & Zhenya 

if you’d like to check out my other nuny fics, here are the links:

- Cuddles with Love

- Remus finds out

- A New Dream Come True

- I’ve Got You

- The Same Brainwaves

- All You Need

cw: anesthesia, talking about medicine and dental work

***

“Zhenya, you’ve gotta get out of the car.” Nado said, his head resting on the steering wheel. The only answer he received was a lot of grumbled Russian that he didn’t understand. 

They had been sitting outside the oral surgeon’s office for 20 minutes. Luckily Jackson had planned in advance, getting them there an hour early. He knew Zhenya was nervous, it had been obvious since he made the appointment a month ago. Jackson could see the slight tremble in his boyfriend’s hands as he gripped at the sleeves of his hoodie.

Jackson reached over, resting a hand over Zhenya’s, “Baby, it’s going to be okay.” He murmured softly, rubbing his thumb over the frayed sleeve edge that covered Zhenya’s knuckles.

“Don’t want to go to sleep,” Zhenya whispered, turning his hand over to intertwine their fingers together. He had been putting it off for awhile now but the pain was getting too bad, struggling to sleep some nights.

Squeezing his hand, Jackson leaned over and resting his head on the taller man’s shoulder, “I know, babe. But it’ll be quick, they’ll sedate you and then when you wake up, it’ll all be over with and we can go home.”

Zhenya took a deep breath as he looked out the window, “Ok, let’s go. Before I lose confidence.” He said, quickly unbuckling his seatbelt and jumping out of the car. Jackson scrambled to follow him, grabbing his keys and phone before running to catch up to Zhenya who had already made it to the door.

After getting checked in, they sat down in the waiting room. The only sounds were Zhenya’s foot tapping nervously on the floor and the quiet music that played over the speaker. Jackson was thankful for that. If there were any type of dentist machine noises, Zhenya would’ve probably booked it right back out to the car.

Less than fifteen minutes later, a doctor came out the door, “Evgeni?” Zhenya’s hand tensed on the arm of the chair before he nodded.

“It’ll be okay, Zhenya. I’ll be waiting.” Jackson murmured, squeezing his hand before letting him go. He watched as Zhenya followed the doctor back, glancing back before the door closed behind them. 

And then he waited.

Around half an hour later, a nurse came out, “Hi, are you here for Evgeni?” She asked, glancing down at her clipboard.

Jackson was up and walking over to her before she finished, “Yeah, that’s me. Is everything okay? Is he okay?”

“Of course. Everything went very smoothly. He should be ready to go within the next couple minutes. We should get back there, he was already asking for you.” She explained, leading him back to one of the rooms.

Before she opened the door, Jackson could already hear Zhenya talking. He couldn’t help the smile that spread on his face.

The nurse opened the door, “Evgeni, I found your Nado for you, hun.” She said, leading Jackson into the room. 

Zhenya turned from where he had been rambling to the doctor in a wheelchair, his chubby cheeked face lighting up, “Котенок! You’re here.” He said. Or at least that’s what Jackson thought he said. He had ice packs strapped to either side of his face, gauze filling his mouth. And fuck, Jackson still thought he was cute as hell. 

“Of course I’m here, Zhenya. Told you I’d be waiting for you.” Jackson said with a smile.

Zhenya smiled, his head flopping slightly to look at the doctor, “видеть? я говорил тебе. I told you. He’s so good.” 

Chuckling softly, the doctor nodded, “Yes, I believe you, Evgeni.” He replied before looking at Nado. “I’ve prescribed him ibuprofen and Vicodin, which you can get from the pharmacy before you go. He can have one of each right away together, but after that it’s one pill of Motrin every six hours and one pill of Vicodin every 4 hours. It’s okay if you don’t remember all this, it’ll be on the bottles and the paperwork. Give us a call if he has any problems, okay?”

“Sounds good. Thanks so much for taking care of him.” Jackson said, shaking the doctor’s hand before he began pushing Zhenya down the hall.

Zhenya stared up at him the whole time, which was fairly comical as he couldn’t close his mouth, but he was still smiling, “Котенок. Hi.” Zhenya mumbled around the gauze.

Running a gentle hand through his hair, Jackson smiled as he made his way to the pharmacy, “Hi babe. You doing okay?” 

“So good. Took nap, now I see you. So good.” Zhenya said with a shrug, his head lolling to the side. Once they got to the pharmacy, Jackson parked Zhenya next to one of the chairs. A hand grabbed his wrist before he could walk away though.

Jackson turned to see Zhenya’s pouting face staring back at him, “I need to go get your medicine, Zhenya.”

To Jackson’s horror, tears started welling up in his boyfriend’s eyes, “You go? You leave me?” Zhenya said, his grip falling from Jackson’s arm.

Squatting down in front of Zhenya, Jackson took his boyfriend’s hand in his, “Hey, don’t cry, babe. I’m right here. Not going anywhere. I’ll bring you with, okay? Please don’t cry.” He blurted out, pressing a kiss to Zhenya’s knuckles.

Zhenya sniffled, his free hand coming to rub at his eyes, “Promise?” 

“Of course, I promise. I got you, Zhenya.” Jackson said quietly. He pushed the wheelchair up with him to the Pharmacy pick-up desk, parking Zhenya right behind him so he could get the medicine.

Just as he was about to hand the pharmacist his card, a large hand grabbed at his butt, making him let out what could only be called a squeak. Quickly whipping his head around, he gave Zhenya a dirty look, “Really?!” 

Zhenya looked completely nonplussed as he leaned back into his wheelchair with the approximate of what Jackson would call a smirk if his face wasn’t so swollen, “What? You put it in my face, how can I not?”

Letting out a sigh, Jackson handed the card to the pharmacist who was now trying to hide their smile. They handed over the bag and finally they were off towards the door, “Do you think you can walk to the car? Or do you want to use the chair?”

“Can I walk? Of course I can walk.” Zhenya said with a huff, carefully pushing himself off the chair. His legs wobbled a bit but after a second, he got his balance, giving Jackson a wide grin. “See? I’m strong. I did so good.”

Chuckling softly, Jackson put the chair back before wrapping an arm around Zhenya’s waist to lead him out, just in case, “Yeah, Zhenya. You did great.”

Zhenya seemed to take Jackson’s arm around his waist as a come-on because the other man felt a hand slowly creeping its way down to the back pocket of his jeans.

“Zhenya, not while we’re trying to walk.” Jackson said with a laugh, squeezing the taller man’s side.

Humming to himself, Zhenya rested his head on top of Jackson’s, “Nutty taught me word for this. Cake. You have nice cake.” He punctuated his statement with another squeeze.

At this point, Jackson was just trying to get them into the car, “Thanks, babe. That’s very nice of you to say.” He said, opening the passenger side door before helping Zhenya in, getting him buckled in. He quickly got in on the drivers side and they were finally heading home. 

Zhenya’s hand made its way over to Jackson’s leg as he drove, his fingers drawing shapes into the material of his pants, “I love you, you know, Котенок?”

A soft smile spread on Jackson’s face as he glanced over at his boyfriend, reaching down to squeeze his hand, “Yeah, Zhenya, I know. I love you too.”

The giant soppy grin was back on Zhenya’s face as he leaned onto the headrest, “I’m cuddle you when we get home. All day.” 

Well. How could Jackson argue with that?

#nuny #jackson nadeau #evgeni kuznetsov #zhenya #nado #lumosinlove #sweater weather #mentioned: leo knut #fluff #wisdom teeth removal #tw: dentist work #nuny love #soft boys #fic writing #anon ask #ask box #anon prompt

[torivikachu]

Do you think as an adult it’s problematic to be calling minors your “wives” and be saying you’re in “harems” with them? I assume you don’t mean anything by it, but it doesn’t seem like healthy interactions for the minors involved

hello to you too!

I am fully aware of the fact that Jamie and Kit are minors, as are they aware of the fact that I am in fact, not :)

still, as we seem to be on the same brainwave and I honestly consider them my close friends, I don't see anything really weird about it. Yes, our jokes are often borderline sexual/suggestive, yes, we dream about living together once Jamie and Kit reach their 18th year of life and yes we do call ourselves a harem.

but may I add, we also call ourselves a PLATONIC harem?

dude, I have a boyfriend alright

I guess we are just pretty open with each other on personal issues, but not identifying/personal information. I still have not even seen them and do not pressure them into sharing or doing anything, if that's what you're worried about.

it started as a joke but evolved into making us a tight group of friends that has found family vibes, isn't that cool?

I also seem to forget that tumblr is for everyone and not just for my beloved mutuals, who are aware of the nature of the whole ordeal. I guess I should've explained it earlier for people who are not involved?

anyway, don't worry, I am not a creep (well.....not THAT much of a creep) and am not seducing underage girls :) if they are uncomfortable with whatever, they know that they can always tell me that. unless they don't? well, I am going to use this opportunity to remind them about that, @thejamdergod, @imgaybut, @critical-endangered

thank you for your concern and have a good day.

[watching-pictures-move]

Put On Your Raincoats #17 | The Erotic Reveries of Rinse Dream

Cafe Flesh opens with a title card orienting us to its post-apocalyptic setting. After a calamitous apocalyptic event known as the "Nuclear Kiss", the world is made up of 99% "Sex Negatives", and 1% "Sex Positives". The Sex Negatives can't have sex and can only watch. The Sex Positives escaped such a fate, but are instead forced to perform for an audience of Positives for their vicarious enjoyment. There are many such venues but the one we spend the movie in is the Cafe Flesh of the title, a nightclub where the decor and patronage evoke a cross between punk rock and retro-futurist aesthetics and a hint of Rat Pack era cool. A smarmy comedian in a white tuxedo introduces the sex acts, which are elaborately staged performances that play almost as genre parody with their tongue-in-cheek choreography (plenty of costumed grinding, as with a performer in a rat costume early on, and mimed thrusting, as with another performer in a pencil costume in a later scene) until the turn into the real thing with the requisite close-ups. Futuristic jazz reminiscent of Angelo Badalamenti's music plays over the proceedings.

This serves as the background to a story about a woman who may or may not secretly be a Positive (played by scream queen Michelle Bauer and, in certain scenes, a body double) and the impending arrival of a legendary Positive performer known for his virility (a towering, square-jawed Kevin James, introduced in black sunglasses and an oversized blue suit). We also get a sense of the tensions in this nightclub ecosystem, particularly between the heroine and her boyfriend, a new performer, the comedian, the owner (who puts the comedian in his place in one scene by having him cruelly recite "the rhyme"). (The comedian is played by Andy Nichols and the owner by Tantala Ray, both of whom played interview subjects in Gregory Dark's Devil in Miss Jones two-parter, which leads me to believe the latter was influenced by this movie, as Nichols in particular doesn't have many screen credits.)

This movie apparently was a bit of a success in the midnight movie circuit, and it's not hard to see why, based on the strength of the mise en scene and the performances. The cool, smoky backgrounds of the reaction shots provide a nice counterpoint to the avant garde looking performances and give the highly stylized setting a nice evocative quality. There's also a level of genre commentary here, as the story ultimately is about the heroine's agency over her pleasure and the roles sex performers are forced into by greater society, ultimately imprisoned by their own abilities. Truth be told I found the performances got a little less enjoyable when they got down to business with the penetration and whatnot (it gets harder to pull off inspired choreography when one of your appendages is stuck in another person, or vice versa), but I also think it's necessary for those themes to resonate.

Cafe Flesh was directed by Stephen Sayadian, credited as Rinse Dream, and he'd previously used that pseudonym on Nightdreams, for which he co-wrote the screenplay. (The director was Francis Delia, who went on to a career of directing mostly music videos and television, while the other writer was Jerry Stahl, known for his memoir Permanent Midnight, as well as writing for shows such as ALF and movies such as Bad Boys II.) This movie similarly concerns agency over female pleasure and is about two doctors (Andy Nichols and Jennifer West) conducting experiments on a mentally ill young woman by inducing erotic dreams and monitoring her brainwaves. There's a dream involving a giant, monstrous jack-in-the-box. There's one with a pair of cowgirls and something other than a gun stored in a holster, with the cowgirls spouting stilted dialogues in robotic monotones, a Sayadian trademark of sorts. Wall of Voodoo's cover of "Ring of Fire" plays over the action (I'm not sure if they paid for the rights, but Delia and Sayadian did direct videos for the band). There's one with a group of bedouins sharing a hookah and then her. There's a giallo-esque scene involving a masked assailant, but this happens after an aborted nightmare about a shrieking man with a hollow chest from his pants emerges a shrivelled up, monstrous baby. Did David Lynch jack off to this? I wouldn't rule it out, folks.

There's a scene where she blows an anthropomorphic box of Cream of Wheat, while a jaunty cover of "Old Man River" plays on the soundtrack and a man dressed as giant piece of toast dances and plays saxopohone. An IMDb user review cites this scene for its cutting racial commentary, but I found this tonally jarring with the rest of the movie. After this, there's a trip to hell where a demon and his minions subject her to such horrific tortures as prodding her with a giant claw and then an even more fearsome double-pronged contraption. The scientists argue over fears that they gave her too much stimulation. ("This woman's on the brink of an orgasm. Let her enjoy it. She doesn't need interruption from a man." "You call it orgasm. I call it breakdown.") The movie then makes way to its final set piece, involving fog, a background of blue sky and pillars and soft piano music. The cinematography in this scene is in stark contrast to the mostly shadowy, intimate imagery of the previous scenes, with the camera pulled up to admire both their bodies and the scene continuing for some time after the climax. It almost brings to mind a certain scene in Jerry Lewis' The Ladies Man that I found disarming in its stylistic and tonal break from the rest of the movie. Without revealing too much, the film's coda sets the record straight.

It probably doesn't say anything flattering about me that I found most of this pretty hot. The movie has a tinge of horror running through it, giving many of the sex scenes (especially the one in hell) a real tension, while the scientific framing device gives it a cold, calculating quality reminiscent of David Cronenberg. (Alas, this doesn't predate some of his most influential films, but for all we know, David Cronenberg jacked off to it as well.) A few of the character names (Mrs. Van Houten, Mrs. Chalmers) make me suspect that Matt Groening might have seen (and jacked off to) it as well. This is pure speculation on my part, but as far as I'm aware, none of them have denied it either. The movie's distinct tone is grounded in an impressive lead performance by Dorothy LeMay. I wasn't all too impressed with her work in Taboo II, but here I think she skillfully evokes the heroine's derangement and "erotic trauma", in the words of the scientists.

Sayadian and Stahl collaborated again for Dr. Caligari, a relatively mainstream effort that also found some success as a midnight movie. I say "relatively" because it's still pretty fucking weird. The movie positions itself as a loose sequel to Robert Wiene's classic The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari, this time about the granddaughter of the original Caligari conducting illegal experiments in an insane asylum. From the earlier film it pulls a German expressionist influence, but combines it with a campy, MTV-inflected style to present the asylum as a warped funhouse. The dimensions of the architecture are distorted and full of odd angles, decorated in a mixture of pitch black and gaudy day-glo colours (lots of yellow and pink costumes). This is not a pornographic movie, yet it's hardly less obsessed with sex, as the villain's plan concerns the weaponization of female pleasure. There's also the occasional grotesque sexually-charged image to spice things up, like the sight of a woman with giant, phallic-shaped breasts. Some of the imagery also gives it potency as horror, like an oozing sore or a cake full of intestines. There's a lot of strange, stilted dialogue, as in this exchange:

"Describe your life in three words or less."

"Un-ending torment."

"Elaborate, please."

"Blankety blank blank."

"Thank you for being specific."

This is matched by the angular body language of the villain, played by Madeline Reynal in a deadpan yet very physical performance. This movie also brings into focus a voyeuristic theme, which was present in those earlier movies but didn't seem quite as confrontational in its presentation. A character utters, basically to the audience: "I know you're watching me. I feel your eyes like wet fingers touching me in special places." (This is a line of dialogue that appeared in the next few films I'll talk about.) Truth be told, I was a little exhausted by the sensory overload of Sayadian's style here, and in retrospect appreciate the way the sex scenes act as a counterpoint to his more aggressive tendencies in his more explicit films. But at the same time, this is full of memorable imagery and has a weirdly compelling lead performance. I don't know if there's much else quite like it (or at least operating at this force), so it gets a recommendation.

Sayadian followed up Nightdreams with a few shot-on-video sequels. I skipped Nightdreams 2 as I could only find it in a heavily degraded transfer, but I did make time for Nightdreams 3, which has a self contained story that's essentially a more explicit if relaxed version of Dr. Caligari, once again concerning a doctor conducting sinister experiments at an insane asylum. (This time her experiments mostly involve just fucking her patients and other staff.) There's more of the stilted dialogue, even closer to non sequiturs than they were in the earlier film, with the music by Double Vision providing an off-kilter soundscape to match the weirdness of the dialogue. (Highlights include "My pussy's like an erotic assassin" and "I happen to know she has a thing for longshoremen. Just mention On the Waterfront and she gets randy pants.") The video imagery quite frankly is pretty ugly, with the green carpet and purple drapes that decorate the set looking especially ungainly, yet Sayadian seems aware of this, as when he uses video's flattening effect to create a crude facsimile of a split diopter shot. The video collage style he adopts meshes uneasily with the plot, as if to call out its meaninglessness, giving the whole thing a slight MST3K vibe, especially as characters speak directly to the camera.

Some of these tendencies are honed to a more pleasing form in the two-part Party Doll A Go-Go!, where we spend time with a number of attractive, shapely women in bright coloured lingerie as they spout '60s-inspired dialogue at the viewer in between scenes of copulation. (Not all the dialogue is '60s-tinged, however: "They're overcome with retro wordplay...Us modern girls prefer synthetic future".) Like many pornographic films, this is a collection of loosely related sex scenes, but Sayadian's construction turns those genre requirements into parody, having his characters offer colour commentary (albeit channeled through his campy prose) on their own scenes and even getting interrupted by the stars of subsequent and preceding scenes. The number of quotable lines is even greater than those earlier films, and I admit I was scrambling to write down the choicest ones as there were so many. The best lines go to Jeanna Fine, who also has the huskiest voice and the most penetrating stare, so she was easily my favourite. I certainly was not unmoved when she insisted that she's "never run around buck naked and bubbling for man-winky" or "never wrapped[her] lips around a throbbing johnny". (She does not, however, deny having ever interacted with beef bologna.) Or when she asked the audience "Was I a bad girl?" (said three times in rapid succession) or if we've "ever seen a double orgasm on videotape?" (She adds "Watch, pornhound" and "Calling all porndogs, watch me work, uh-huh.") And I definitely wasn't unmoved when she demonstrated her talents on a dildo dangled in front of her (which she refers to as an "artificial man-thing", a "chubby rubber fella" and a "flying princeton"). No, definitely not unmoved.

There isn't much of plot here, except in the latter half when one of the girls can't stop "the wiggle" and needs to be rescued with an emergency injection of "boy jerky". Sayadian, once again bringing voyeuristic concerns into focus (the characters all talk to the camera), seems to be satirizing the very idea of porn having premises and certain their lazy execution. Even the production design is transparent in its chintz (the movie is shot entirely on the same set, with the bare minimum in alterations to the set dressing to make it look even slightly different), while the video images, which feature lots of Dutch angles, zooms and whip pans, match the campiness of the whole affair. This is probably a little long at a combined 2+ hours, but at the same time, it settles into a nice groove and is full of really attractive and reasonably charismatic actresses delivering amusing dialogue and indulging in "girl homo" (sometimes "big time girl homo") or getting "boy jerky". I don't have much interest in delving into '90s pornography and shot-on-video productions strain the dignity one can feel while trying to watch pornographic films as actual movies, but I'm not gonna pretend I didn't have a good time with this.

#film #put on your raincoats #movie review #rinse dream #stephen sayadian #francis delia #fx pope #cafe flesh #nightdreams #dr. caligari #nightdreams 3 #party doll a go-go!

[miguel-manbemel]

Aspects & Fanfics Ep. 52: The Truth Is Revealed - Nico’s Reaction

I thought I wouldn’t have this ready on time, as for some reasons, this week has been kind of a torture for me and I found it really hard to find the motivation to write. Fortunately, I managed to overcome that sentiment and get in a better mood with enough time to finish this episode. We are slowly approaching the ending of season 2 of this fanfic. We’re not there yet, but we’re coming. I hope that the ending is satisfactory for everyone, when it comes. And with this said, I leave you with the episode. Until next time.

SYNOPSIS: Thomas has decided to tell Nico the truth about the existence of the Sanders Sides, as they need his help to save Dillon from the Paladin. However, he doesn’t know how Nico’s going to react and is afraid to lose him if he gets too scared of Thomas’ secret life with the Sides.

WARNINGS: A lot of romance and words of love, mainly from Thomas to Nico.

EPISODE INDEX

[Thomas is nervously looking at the door. Virgil is next to him, both are sitting on the couch]

THOMAS: I’m so scared, Virge… So scared…

VIRGIL: I’m sorry, Thomas, I can’t help it… I know what we’re doing is the right thing to do, but still, I can’t help giving you this nervousness…

THOMAS: Nico could be here any moment… And even though I’ve rehearsed and rehearsed what I’m going to tell him, something tells me that in the critical moment, my mind’s gonna go blank and I’m not gonna know what to say… For starters, I don’t even know if he’s angry at me over the abrupt ending of our date last time. He said he isn’t, but maybe he was just being nice… Maybe I’ve already blew it up and there’s nothing I can do already, so being so nervous would be silly in that case… and if he doesn’t love me anymore, my life is gonna be miserable, ‘cause I know I’ll never find a guy like him again, and I don’t know if…

VIRGIL: Whoa, whoa, Thomas, please! You’re going so fast in your nervousness I can’t even follow your rhythm! Seriously, what is my purpose in this Mind Palace if you already take all the work yourself faster than I do? Gosh!

THOMAS: Sorry, Virge…

[intro sequence]

[someone knocks at the door]

THOMAS: Oh, gosh, he’s here… Okay, don’t panic… It’s only Nico, your boyfriend… but for how long? Sush! Sush… Virge, you’re invisible for him, right?

VIRGIL: Yes, I am, but I’d wish to be invisible in your thoughts right now too… Good luck, Thomas.

[Thomas sighs]

THOMAS: What will be, will be… Let’s go.

[Thomas opens the door. Nico is there, smiling at Thomas]

THOMAS: Hi, Nico… Gosh, your sole presence already makes my day brighter. Come in.

NICO: Thank you, Thomas. I love you too.

[Nico kisses Thomas on the cheek and gets into the living room followed by Thomas. He sits on the couch… right on Virgil]

VIRGIL: What the… whoops!

[however, Nico goes through him as if Virgil was made of air, not feeling his presence at all. Virgil quickly stands up and sits down on another couch. Thomas looks at the scene a little nervous but quickly puts himself together]

NICO: You said you wanted to see me, and something tells me it could be important. What is it? Oh, but most importantly, how are you feeling today? The other day, I left a little worried. I kept thinking I should have stayed in case you got worse so I could take you to the hospital if need be.

THOMAS: Oh, I’m fine, Nico, don’t worry. It was just some feeling of nausea I suddenly had. It left me an hour or so later after I took a chamomile tea. It was a bummer that it ruined our date when everything was going so perfect.

NICO: Yeah, if I could have, I would have stayed all night with you. I was enjoying your company so much, I didn’t want it to end at all…

THOMAS: [silly smile] Me neither… It’s funny how we only met last Christmas, a few weeks ago, and yet it’s like I’ve shared my whole life with you and I couldn’t remember how I used to live before you came into my life. Does it happen the same to you?

NICO: Yes… yes, it does. But for sure you didn’t call me here just to tell me words of love, Thomas. I mean I could hear them and tell them back to you all day long, but you had something to tell me. What is it? Like I said, something in your voice on the phone made me think it was something important. What’s the matter?

THOMAS: [nervous] Yes… okay… Nico, you better sit down because what I’m gonna tell may shock you…

NICO: Thomas… I’m already sitting down. You are so nervous… and you’re making me nervous. Please, calm down. Whatever it is, I can take it.

THOMAS: You’re right, sorry… It’s something to be nervous about, because it’s something I’ve told very few people in this world. Which reminds me to tell you that everything I’m gonna tell you must be kept as a secret. No one must ever know. I count on your discretion.

NICO: Of course, Thomas, you have my word. Whatever it is, no one will know your secret through me, I promise.

THOMAS: Thank you. You see, it’s something that has happened to me since I was a little boy. I have… a gift, you might call it? Even though sometimes I’ve been tempted to call it a curse, I still call it a gift, because it has given to me a group of friends no one could ever be closer to. More than friends, they are a family, a family that has been with me, by my… side… since I was like three years old.

NICO: I don’t understand.

THOMAS: I know, it’s very hard to understand, so I’ll start from the beginning, although I fear I’m going to confuse you a lot. You see, there are some people in this world whose brain works in some particular pattern of brainwaves, a very rare pattern, that triggers a very special reaction, you could almost call it… magic. These people have the power of summoning the different aspects of their personality that normally reside in their brain as brainwaves and turn them into real people. Then they can sustain conversations with them about whatever is bothering them in their daily life, about any complicated dilemma… anything. Even more than that. These people have the power of creating a whole alternate dimension from these same brainwaves which act as a portal to said dimension, which hold everything that person is, has been or will be, in what regards to their personality, way of thinking and so on.

NICO: You are talking about “some people”, are you trying to tell me that…

THOMAS: Yes, Nico. I am one of said people. I don’t know why, I didn’t choose it or know how it works exactly, but I have that gift, and the aspects of my personality I summon, they are called the Sanders Sides, who live in the Mind Palace, the dimension I talked about.

[there’s a short silence before Nico speaks]

NICO: Thomas… are you drunk?

THOMAS: I’ve never been more sober in my life Nico. I expected you wouldn’t believe me, but I swear, for the love I feel for you, that what I’m saying is true.

NICO: This… I can’t believe all of this and you shouldn’t be surprised at all. All of this just looks like taken from a fairy tale, and I don’t believe in fairy tales. Thomas, please don’t take offense at what I’m going to say, but I think you may have spent so much time alone that perhaps you have started mixing reality and fiction. I have seen your YouTube series, Sanders Sides, and I recognize what you have just described to me as taken from that series. Yes, perhaps it happened to you as it happened to Alonso Quijano, who went crazy over reading to many chivalric books and thought he was Don Quijote de La Mancha and a vulgar woman from the next town a fair maiden named Dulcinea. That… or you’re playing a practical joke on me, I don’t know…

THOMAS: As I said, I didn’t expect you to believe me the first time I told you. No one I ever told this believed me on the first try… until I they saw proof. I anticipated I’d have to prove to you that I’m not insane.

NICO: Prove to me? What do you mean by that?

THOMAS: As I told you, the Sanders Sides are real physical entities surged from my imagination. Usually they live in my head, in the Mind Palace, but when they want, they can get out at will and wander through the real world, or as they call it, the “outer world”. They can make themselves invisible at will or shapeshift into any form, human or not, so as not to attract attention. Believe it or not, one of my Sides is in this room right at this moment.

[Virgil looks at Thomas]

VIRGIL: Should I, Thomas?

THOMAS: In a minute, Virgil, when I give you the sign.

NICO: Who are you talking to? Who is Virgil? You’re scaring me. Perhaps… perhaps I should go…

THOMAS: No, please. Don’t go, at least give me the opportunity to prove you that I’m not crazy.

NICO: [standing up, walking to the middle of the living room] Then what are you waiting for, Thomas? You said they can make themselves visible at will? [spinning around trying to find Virgil’s position to no avail, while Virgil stands up too and slowly walks towards him] Well then, Virgil, whoever you are and wherever you’re standing, why don’t you show up and end this entuerto once and for all. Show yourself!

THOMAS: Go ahead Virgil, show yourself.

[Virgil appears in front of Nico with his face right next to Nico’s face, his creepy music theme sounds]

VIRGIL: [tempest tongue] If you insist, nice to meet you, Nico.

[Nico only lets go a little gasp, then gets completely frozen, looking at the apparition in front of him. He doesn’t move a muscle]

THOMAS: Ni… Nico? Are you okay?

[with the same gesture, Nico collapses and would have fallen to the floor if Virgil hadn’t grabbed him midway]

VIRGIL: Whoa!

THOMAS: Oh, no! Virgil, perhaps you shouldn’t have appeared so close to him all of a sudden. And definitely, you shouldn’t have used your tempest tongue. Do you want to give him a heart attack?

VIRGIL: I’m so sorry, Thomas. You know, when I’m anxious, that voice can appear out of nowhere and I can’t control it. Now, will you help me or…?

THOMAS: Oh, yes, we’ll take him to the couch.

[Thomas and Virgil lay Nico on the couch]

VIRGIL: Well, now what, Thomas?

THOMAS: Perhaps you should step aside a couple of steps so as not to scare him again. I’ll try to wake him up.

VIRGIL: Okay…

THOMAS: Nico… Nico, are you okay? Wake up.

[Nico slowly opens his eyes]

NICO: Oh, Thomas… You wouldn’t believe the dream I just had, I… wait a minute, what am I doing sleeping in your house? Was it…? It was a dream, right? Tell me it was, Thomas.

THOMAS: I… I’m sorry, Nico… but it wasn’t a dream.

[Nico notices Virgil]

VIRGIL: Hello again, sorry about earlier. I didn’t mean to scare you like that.

NICO: [sitting down] Oh, my goodness…

THOMAS: Are you okay, Nico? I really didn’t mean to scare you. It’s just that… I thought we were having something good, something that I, at least, want to last for a lifetime… and I thought that, if we were going to be together, I couldn’t have secrets with you… [scared] because you still want to be with me, right?

NICO: I… I… I’m so confused right now, I don’t even know what to think right now…

[Nico stands up]

NICO: I’m sorry, but I need some fresh air to put my ideas in order. I gotta go, Thomas.

THOMAS: [sighs] As you wish, Nico… I understand.

[Nico leaves the house. Thomas looks at the closed door while a tear falls down his cheek]

VIRGIL: I’m sorry, Thomas. I’m sorry this didn’t go as we wished.

THOMAS: [trembling voice, trying to hide his feelings and pretend he’s okay] It… It’s okay. If this was bound to happen… it’s better that it happened this soon in our relation and not when I was too invested into it and someone got hurt… [bursting into tears] Oh, who am I trying to lie to, I was already invested and it hurts…

[Virgil hugs Thomas]

VIRGIL: If it serves as consolation… he still hasn’t broken up with you, not officially at least. Perhaps it’s true that he just needs some time to think.

THOMAS: [sobbing] I really want to believe that, Virge… but I’m not so sure of it…

VIRGIL: Well, there’s nothing we can do about it right now, so… [sweet voice, petting Thomas’ hair] Oh, hush, my friend, hush. It’s okay… It’s gonna be okay…

[Thomas keeps sobbing for some time, but slowly he calms down]

VIRGIL: That’s better. Now, would you like to play some video games here? It’s been ages since we had a good old game and at least it would help distract you, and me to ease up.

THOMAS: Thank you, Virge, for trying to lift my spirits up even when it is against your nature. You truly are a good friend.

VIRGIL: I’ll always be here for you. So, wanna play?

THOMAS: [sniffing and cleaning the tears with his hands] Of course, Virge, of course.

[Thomas and Virgil start playing video games. After about an hour or so, someone knocks at the door]

VIRGIL: Were you expecting someone, Thomas?

THOMAS: [pausing the game] No… Oh… do you think it could be…?

VIRGIL: There’s only one way to find out, Thomas.

[Thomas rushes to the door and opens it. Nico is there]

THOMAS: Nico!

NICO: Can I… can I come in?

THOMAS: Of course you can, Nico.

[Nico comes in. He notices Virgil]

NICO: Hello, Virgil. How… how are you doing?

VIRGIL: I’m okay, Nico, thanks for asking, and as I said, I’m sorry about earlier, I didn’t mean to scare you.

NICO: It’s okay.

THOMAS: So… you came back…

NICO: Yes, I did… To be honest… I didn’t go too far. I didn’t even leave the neighborhood, nor I got into the car, it was still there at the door. I just walked for a while, then sat down in the park nearby, thinking about everything, reflecting about all of this.

THOMAS: And did you get to a conclusion?

NICO: I did. After some time, when the scare wore off, I reviewed things in my mind more calmly, and I realized something. I… really didn’t see anything bad at all in you having Sides. Like, nothing at all. Of course it’s weird, but that isn’t necessarily bad. And on the other hand, I was certain of something I already knew before. Thomas, I love you. I love you… like I never loved a man before in my life. I don’t care if you have Sides or not. I love you and I don’t want to give you up. There’s one word you mentioned earlier, a word that, without me noticing it, got stuck into my mind and my heart as something I really wanted to have: a lifetime with you. I envisioned a lifetime with you and I couldn’t feel happier. You can bet that, if you let me, I’m gonna fight to make that lifetime with you work and I’m not ever leaving you as long as you love me.

[Thomas, imbued by a sudden passion, hugs and kisses Nico, while Virgil watches the scene with a heartwarming smile and his eyeshadow turns bright purple. After the kiss, Nico notices Virgil’s change]

NICO: Whoa, what’s that?

VIRGIL: What? Oh, this? Please, don’t’ mind me. When Thomas feels butterflies in his stomach, like you’re making him feel right now, I turn into a Glo Worm, it seems. It ruins my aesthetic, but to be honest, I feel so incredibly good when it happens that I don’t mind it happening at all.

NICO: [smiling at Thomas] Aw… that’s so cute.

THOMAS: [nervous giggle] Yes… it is, although I’m not so sure if I want anyone to rat my feelings out so easily…

VIRGIL: Well, sorry, Thomas, but I’m part of you as you know. He asked, I answered. Besides, with that kiss you have just given him, I think you made your emotions quite clear before he saw my purple eyeshadow.

THOMAS: You got me there.

NICO: Speaking about parts of you… how many of you, Sides, are there? I’m intrigued now.

THOMAS: Do you want to know them?

NICO: Yes, I would love to. And I would also love to see what you called the Mind Palace, that place must certainly be something.

THOMAS: If I could, I would take you to the Mind Palace, so that you could meet my Sides in their habitat. You would love it. Alas, that’s not possible yet.

NICO: Why not?

THOMAS: Well, I can only bring in and out of my Mind Palace people who have gone through a certain process. They must synchronize their brainwaves through hypnosis to make them compatible with mine. For that, we need my friend Talyn, but they’re out of town now. I can’t wait for that moment to come, though.

NICO: Gotcha. Still, I want so bad to know your Mind Palace. I imagine it to be such an incredible place. If I close my eyes, I can almost see it…

[Nico closes his eyes and smiles, rejoicing in his thoughts… then, out of a sudden, he sinks down and disappears]

THOMAS: [scared] Wait, what? Nico!

VIRGIL: [in shock, his eyeshadow turns black] Oh, my goodness! What has just happened?

THOMAS: I… I don’t know… Could he have… sank down into the Mind Palace?

VIRGIL: But he hasn’t been synchronized! That’s impossible!

THOMAS: And yet, there’s no other explanation. Come with me, Virge, we need to find him!

[Thomas and Virgil sink down, then they rise up in Logan’s room. Logan and Patton are there, playing Scattergories]

PATTON: Oh, hi, kiddos!

VIRGIL: Hi, dad.

LOGAN: What’s wrong, guys? You look concerned.

THOMAS: Have you seen Nico anywhere?

LOGAN: What? Nico? You have synchronized him without warning us to get into autopilot!? Thomas, how could you…?

THOMAS: That’s the weirdest thing, Logan! We didn’t synchronize him! He just sank down naturally!

LOGAN: Oh… and besides, Patton didn’t fall asleep as it happens to everyone but me when you’re hypnotized… That’s weird. Could it be that he has his own Mind Palace and has sank down there?

THOMAS: I… I hadn’t thought about that… Who knows…? But I don’t think so, otherwise, he wouldn’t have freaked out so much over knowing of the Sides’ existence. No, I don’t know how or why, but he must be somewhere in this Mind Palace. The question is where?

LOGAN: Don’t worry, Thomas, he can’t have gone too far. We’ll help you search.

THOMAS: Thank you, guys. Okay, you guys go to Roman’s room and I’ll go with Virgil to Janus’.

PATTON: Okay, kiddo. Good luck.

[everybody sinks down. Then Thomas and Virgil rise up in Janus’ room. Janus is touching up his snake make up and Remus is doing Remus stuff in the kitchen]

JANUS: Oh, hi, Thomas, hi Virge.

VIRGIL: Hi, Janus. Hi, Remus.

REMUS: Do you want to taste what I’m cooking? I just hunted it behind the counter!

VIRGIL: Uh… no, thanks.

THOMAS: We came here to check if Nico was here. But it seems you didn’t see him.

JANUS: Nico is in the Mind Palace? How?

THOMAS: That’s what I’d wish to know. He must be somewhere, but where?

VIRGIL: Well, we can rule out Sandersia, for sure. Unless you’re the Mind Palace owner, that is you, Thomas, from the outer world, you can only reach directly the rooms, and any other place must be reached once you are in the Mind Palace.

REMUS: And you can also rule out my room. It is protected by a barrier only Roman and I can cross as you remember, and the other door is through Sandersia, which is also ruled out, so.

[Logan and Patton rise up in Janus’ room with Roman and Ian]

ROMAN: They already brought me up to date. Nico isn’t in my room either, Thomas.

IAN: And we can see he’s not here either.

VIRGIL: Then there’s only one place he could have gone to. My room.

THOMAS: Oh, my goodness! Then, that means he must have met the ghouls that are living there! I hope they didn’t cause a shock too bad on him! We must hurry!

[everybody sinks down. Then, they rise up in Virgil’s room. Nico is there playing video games with the ghouls]

NICO: Oh, Thomas! There you are!

THOMAS: Nico! Oh, my goodness, you scared me so bad! Are you okay?

NICO: I’m fine, Thomas. I don’t know what happened I just closed my eyes, and when I opened them, your room had changed, and these guys were on the couch playing video games. They’re very nice, actually.

HEIGHT: Thank you. You’re very nice too, Nico.

THOMAS: Well, thanks guys for taking care of my boyfriend. I don’t know how he got here in my Mind Palace, but he just sank down in here.

NICO: Really? This is your Mind Palace? Wow…

VERTIGO: He just rised up in the middle of the room. We got a little shocked when we saw him, as it was clear he wasn’t one of the Sides, he didn’t look like you. But we just got along instantly. Are all humans so kind and fun to hang out with?

THOMAS: Nah, I just think that Nico is one of a kind, that’s why I love him.

NICO: Same, Thomas.

THOMAS: And now, how could this happen? How could Nico enter my Mind Palace barely without trying without going through the synchronization? Logan, have you got any explanation?

LOGAN: Well, if Nico could enter here, then that means only one thing: his brainwaves are naturally compatible with yours. He was born with the ability of entering your Mind Palace in particular.

PATTON: Awww, that’s so cute!

LOGAN: Why is it cute, Patton?

PATTON: Don’t you see? Thomas and Nico were born for each other! They are soul mates that were destined to be together, bound to meet and to be together sooner or later! So compatible that they read each other’s mind, or in this case enter each other’s mind.

[Thomas and Nico look at each other, then smile]

THOMAS: Do you think so, Patton?

PATTON: Yes!

JANUS: I don’t know if such thing as soul mates does really exist to begin with. To me it looks all a little… commercial, like St. Valentine’s Day.

ROMAN: Oh, shut up, Sulk Scales, I love that thought, it’s so romantic that it bums me I didn’t think of it first!

THOMAS: Roman, nicknames.

ROMAN: Sorry, Janus.

PATTON: Oh, Janus, don’t be like that! You know first hand that love is real. And that explains that huge force I felt the other day, so much so that it overwhelmed me and left me almost out of breath.

THOMAS: Wait, what? Patton, you never told me that! Are you okay?

PATTON: Yes, kiddo. I am now. I got accustomed to it. It’s just that your love for Nico is so strong it fills out the whole Mind Palace with its strength. That’s why the Core told me that Nico was needed to save Virgil and Roman’s son…

NICO: Wait, what?

[Thomas frowns at Patton]

VIRGIL: Great going, dad. Thomas hadn’t told him anything about that yet.

PATTON: [covering his mouth] Oh, I’m so sorry, guys. I thought you had already talked it out.

NICO: What does he mean, Thomas?

THOMAS: Well, I wanted to touch this topic later, when you got accustomed to the existence of my Sides, but as the cat is out of the bag now… You see, Roman and Virgil’s son, Dillon, is trapped by a malicious entity called the Paladin who has taken possession of his body. Patton has discovered that the only way to save him is by you going by my side into the Cave of Doom, where we have him contained, and help me take care of him.

NICO: That sounds dangerous.

THOMAS: It probably is. Inside the Mind Palace, I have power, and I would make sure to protect you from any danger we may face… But I’m sorry that my Mind Palace isn’t all sunshine and rainbows. It has its dark places and its malicious entities too. I’d wish to be, but I’m not perfect as that attests.

NICO: I don’t care if you’re not perfect. Is anyone perfect at all? I’m not perfect either, Thomas, and that’s okay. Don’t beat yourself about it.

THOMAS: Of course, Nico, I would never demand you to help us, especially if there is some kind of risk for you. Heck, I’m totally against you participating in this anyway because I don’t want to endanger you. [to Virgil and Roman] Sorry, guys, but I had to say it.

ROMAN: It’s totally fine, Thomas, we understand. And like we told you, there’s no need for Nico to participate. We’ll try to find another way.

THOMAS: Gosh, but it makes me feel so guilty… Dillon’s life is endangered… but at the same time… gosh, this is tearing me apart.

NICO: Thomas, I’ll do it.

THOMAS: What?

NICO: I know you want to protect me, because you always want to treasure and protect what you love, but I’m my own person to make the choice, and if you say that there’s one life endangered if I don’t help, my own consciousness tells me that I need to do my best to help. I’ll help you, in every way that I can, even if I don’t know what I am supposed to do, but I will. You can count on me.

VIRGIL: Thank you so much, Nico.

ROMAN: We can’t express how thankful we are if you’re willing to help.

THOMAS: Are you sure, Nico? I don’t know to what extent, but this could be dangerous.

NICO: I am sure. And as long as you are by my side, I won’t be afraid.

THOMAS: I love you. I love you so much, you don’t have an idea. Gosh, I know I’m acting so super sweet that I could cause diabetes on anyone passing by, but I can’t help yelling it to the world. I love you, Nicolás Flores.

[Thomas kisses Nico]

[ending card]

[some time later. Thomas has introduced Nico to all of the Sides and talked to him about their adventures]

VIRGIL: … and we also have another son, Chris. Well, his name is Christian Gerard Sanders but we call him Chris for short. He’s now in Sandersia, staying over in Roland’s castle for a few days.

NICO: What is Sandersia?

ROMAN: It’s a land attached to my room where all of Thomas’ characters and creations exist for real. I’m the Royal Prince that rules it, although Roland governs it in my place as regent. Oh, and Roland is my brother, by the way.

NICO: I see… Wow, there’s a lot to memorize here about this world, I hope I don’t get myself into a mess. So many people and places… and it’s all in your head, Thomas. How can you cope?

THOMAS: I’m accustomed already. I’ve been living through it since I was three years old. Don’t worry if you mess up here and there. We understand it’s not easy and it’s all kind of a shock coming all at once so suddenly.

NICO: So, let’s see if I got it right. You, Virgil, are Thomas’ vigilance and anxiety.

VIRGIL: Correct.

NICO: You, Roman, are Thomas’ pure Creativity, his romanticism and his ego.

ROMAN: Perfect.

NICO: Remus, you are Roman’s twin brother and Thomas’ not so pure creativity.

REMUS: Oh, I could kiss you. Can I kiss him, Thomas?

JANUS: [frowning] No, no you can’t, Remus.

NICO: You, Janus, you are Thomas’ deceitful nature and his self-preservation.

JANUS: Not impressed at all that you remembered…

NICO: Patton, you’re Thomas’ morality, his feelings and his inner child.

PATTON: Yes, kiddo, exactly.

NICO: You, Logan, are Thomas’ logical thinking and his acquired knowledge.

LOGAN: A+ for you, Nico.

NICO: You, Ian, you are Janus’ brother and encompass Thomas’ honest thinking. You two used to be kind of Siamese brothers sharing the same body in turns, but now are independent.

IAN: That’s right.

NICO: And then, there’s Chris, who, you said, is Thomas’ angsty creativity, and he’s Roman and Virgil’s son, as well as Dillon’s brother. I still don’t understand well how two people with the same reproductive organs could conceive a child, but the rest I got it right.

THOMAS: That’s easy to understand, though. As Sides are not human, they don’t follow the same biological rules as humans do and the laws of science don’t affect them. We’re talking about entities that can appear and disappear, can shapeshift, stretch their limbs as if they were made of rubber… it was only natural that reproduction didn’t work the same as with humans.

NICO: Gotcha… speaking about their son, there’s one thing I wonder. Each Side has at least one function in Thomas’ psyche. What does Dillon encompass exactly?

ROMAN: Well, to be honest, we don’t truly know.

VIRGIL: Yeah, we guessed that he encompassed Thomas’ hope, that’s why we named him Dillon, which means hope in Irish. You know that Thomas has Irish ancestors, right?

NICO: Yes, he told me. But you guessed he was Thomas’ hope? You’re not sure?

ROMAN: No, because that dang Paladin caught him even before he was born and we couldn’t identify him. Logan used to be able to examine us with an ability he had in his hands, he could have detected the Paladin’s presence inside Dillon’s body as soon as I delivered him. But he lost that ability in some unfortunate event we’ll tell you about some day, and couldn’t do it.

LOGAN: On the subject of my ability… guys, there’s one thing I gotta announce to you.

ROMAN: What is it, Logan?

LOGAN: Remember our latest adventure with the Core, how I had to stretch my arm to catch Patton before he was absorbed by the Core?

NICO: What?

LOGAN: Don’t worry, Nico, we’ll explain to you later. The point is that when my hand got closer to the Core… the Core’s influence touched it and its power imbued me without me even noticing in the turmoil of angst over saving Patton.

ROMAN: Are you going to tell me that the Core got you a gift, just like Patton now can heal us?

LOGAN: It got me a gift, but not a new gift like Patton’s. You guys, the Core has brought my examination ability back. We knew it was a matter of a long time that it was restored, but the Core accelerated that restoration. I can check you guys again.

THOMAS: That’s so great to hear, Logan! I’m happy for you! That ability was always very useful for all of us and it’s good to know that you have it back!

LOGAN: Yes, but not only it has restored it, it has removed the unpleasant side effect of electrification that I felt if I checked someone’s memories or that someone felt if I sent him mine. Now it’s all a more pleasant, totally painless process.

JANUS: Great, because I still remember that electric feeling and it wasn’t pleasant at all.

THOMAS: Okay, guys. Then if we’re all set, we need to start making a plan. There’s a Side in distress in the bottom of a cave that needs our help, a cave we also need to conquer back so that the ghouls can recover their friends and home. It’s time to face the Paladin once and for all.

#thomas sanders #sanders sides #character thomas sanders #nico flores #virgil sanders #logan sanders #patton sanders #roman sanders #janus sanders #remus sanders #sanders sides fanfiction #sanders sides fanfic #sanders sides fic #fanfiction #fanfic #fic #karrot kings #aspects and fanfics

[pain-somnia]

halloweenanigans

Pairing(s)/Characters: SasoObi, ShiItaIzu, implied future SasuSaku, Ino, Kiba, and Naruto Rating: T Disclaimer Day’s Notes: written for the fabulous, oh-so-amazing, and extremely wonderful @thatshipcat to celebrate their birthday-week! This fic is set in the same modern au setting as Konoha TV Cryptid and can be seen as a sort of prequel. Here is a Halloween fic that I hope you all find funny and sweet.

AO3

Halloweenanigans

Sighing to himself, Sasori wiped off the makeup that had taken him a great deal of effort to apply. The painstakingly applied makeup had given him the appearance of one of the glassy eyed ventriloquist dummies from an old horror movie.

When he had first decided on his costume for Halloween he had expected to be dragged to parties by his boyfriend━parties he knew he would get bored of, but he could easily persuade Obito to duck out early.

What he hadn’t expected was to be stuck on babysitting duty.

Sasori was aware that his makeup was unnerving and would freak children out. If he had known that he would be around children at any point on Halloween he would have reconsidered his costume for the night.

If he had known.

Opening the door to the apartment, Sasori had expected to see his boyfriend not a gaggle of children. What soon followed was a high pitched shriek and then a swift kick to the shin from a blonde eight year old that came to the defense of her friend with peculiar hair coloring.

The same eight year old was sitting on one of his bar stools and swinging her little legs as she waited patiently for him and his supplies.

“So you just want whiskers?” Sasori asked her, setting up his multi-tiered makeup box.

“Please,” she pleaded bashfully, averting her gaze. She had apologized earlier for the attack and wouldn’t look him in the eye out of shame.

“Are you sure, Ino? He can make you a real snout.” Obito was currently reattaching one of the multiple tails to another blond brat’s costume. “He’s really good at it.”

“How did you get stuck on babysitting duty, again?”

“Stuck? I volunteered!”

“Of course you did,” Sasori muttered looking around his neat living room. At the moment Obito’s cousin and the tiny girl with rose gold hair were sitting calmly on his couch but the brown haired kid dressed like a dog was fidgeting as he looked around the room.

He better not break anything...

Looking down at Ino’s cat ears, Sasori took out a pot of gel eye liner and instructed the girl to close her eyes and tilt her chin up. There was a glimmer in her eyes when she saw the makeup kit and she sat still as a statue and did as asked.

“Can I get glitter too?” Ino asked━shame tossed completely out the window━as soon as Sasori was done lining her eyes to make them more cat like. The pale blue of her irises really worked with the cat costume.

Dusting the area around her eyes with more white face paint to give the texture of fur, he considered the placement of glitter on her faux cat markings. “Sure.”

Ino had barely slid off the barstool when the puppy kid had braced his hands on the seat of it and in one fluid motion, jumped up and seated himself.

“Can you make it look like I have a giant scar going across my face?”

“That’s not part of the theme, Kiba!” Ino stomped her foot, hands on her hips.

“Naruto has like nine tails on him and no one has said anything about that!”

The two of them began to bicker, but Sasori was sure he heard Obito’s cousin mutter “I definitely did.”

Getting through the makeup for all of the kids, it wasn’t hard to notice the animal theme the kids went for. Or in the smallest child’s case, a yokai. Obito had even joined them and had the adult version of his cousin’s wolf costume.

Using his skills as a makeup artist was at least more amusing than watching a bunch of grad students give themselves alcohol poisoning.

“A heads up would have been nice.”

“Aww,” Obito threw an arm around Sasori’s shoulders, “you can always go as Little Red. Ow!”

Leaving him with the kids in the living room, Sasori headed back to his bedroom. He was sure that he had a kid friendly costume in his closet.

.

.

Sasori narrowed his eyes at his boyfriend. Obito would sneak peeks at him as they walked, the corners of his mouth twitching upwards.

“Not a word,” Sasori hissed, the cat ears on his head twitching in sync with his right eye.

Unfortunately for him, he didn’t have anything that would have been quick to put together and the fox boy and puppy kid were already complaining about how the sun had set. He changed into some easy to move in street clothes and grabbed his brainwave cat ears.

Trick or treating wasn’t that bad, mostly a lot of walking. Whether it was the promise of candy or refusal to show any exhaustion, the primary school kids dragged him and Obito across several blocks.

“Isn’t this the cousin that hates candy?” Sasori asked, watching the little wolf throw something from his bag at the fox kid’s face.

“Sasuke? Yeah. He’ll probably end up giving most of that candy to Sakura.” Obito unwrapped a lollipop and stuck it in his mouth. “Usually he gives his candy to Itachi because no one gives it out to teenagers anymore but he’s pissed off at him right now.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, I volunteered to take him, Kiba, and Naruto trick or treating because Itachi decided he wanted to go out with his friends this year.”

“And the bunny and cat?”

“Sakura goes where Sasuke goes and Ino goes where Sakura goes.”

And as if on cue, there was Sasuke offering a marshmallow treat to the bunny girl, right before Ino knocked him out of her way by bumping him with her hip and offering Sakura a chocolate bar from her own bag. Ino hooked her arm with Sakura’s and they skipped to the next house.

“She’s not going to make his life easy,” Obito snickered. The smile slid off of his face when the man at the next house pulled the bowl of candy away from Sasuke. “What the hell?”

“The kid is pretty tall for his age. He probably thinks that he’s a teen—and there he goes.”

Ino and Sakura came running back to him as they watched Obito give the older man a piece of his mind.

“Should we stop him?” Sakura asked him, tugging on the sleeve of his jacket.

“Obito’s fine.”

“Oh, not him.” Ino pointed in a different direction, a smile spreading across her face.

Sasori cocked his head to the side and observed the scene in front of them. Sasuke was now pinching the bridge of his nose in embarrassment. Obito was too busy arguing with the owner of the house to notice that Naruto had grabbed the giant jack o’ lantern from the front yard until it was too late.

He lifted it over his head and with more strength than Sasori would expect from a ten year old, Naruto threw it, smashing it against the garage door. Kiba let out a battle cry and copied his action with another pumpkin.

“Hey!” The house owner shouted. “I’m calling the cops, you brats.”

“Ha! You think that scares me?” Kiba mocked him as Obito scooped him up over his shoulder. “My mom is a cop.”

Sasori wrapped his arms around Ino and Sakura’s waists and lifted them up, carrying them under his arms as he followed Obito across the street and around the corner. The girls shrieked and giggled the whole way.

“Can I get a slushie?” Ino clasped her hands behind her back and batted her eyelashes up at Sasori. She nudged Sakura with her elbow and the girl mirrored her actions.

“You have enough sugar. You can get water.”

They found a convenience store to use the restroom and to find some supplies to fix Naruto’s costume again. He kept smacking everyone with his tails and Sasuke grew fed up with it and ripped the tails off.

“We’ll share the slushie,” Ino insisted.

Sasori crossed his arms in front of his chest, not falling for the cutesy act. “If I’m paying, you get water. If you want a slushie, you buy it.”

“Ugh, fine.” Ino pulled out a smartphone from her hoodie pocket and pulled out a credit card from the card pocket attached to the case.

What the hell? Sasori shook his head. He didn’t want to meet the parent that gave a ten year old an iPhone, let alone a credit card. He watched as Ino dragged Sakura behind an aisle and then immediately turned back, blue eyes wide.

“What happened?” Sasori demanded.

“N-nothing.” Both girls cheeks were flushed red.

I swear to God if it’s a flasher…

Sasori turned the corner around the aisle and stopped dead in his tracks. “Oh, you’ve gotta be kidding me. Oi!”

Obito’s other younger cousin blinked at him, pulling away from a brown haired girl and a curly haired boy that had his arms wrapped around his waist from behind.

“Really? At a 7-Eleven?” Sasori scrunched his face up in disgust. “Love yourself. Have some class.”

“Wait,” Itachi’s eyes widened in recognition, “if you’re here—“

“This is the prior engagement you had?” Obito snickered, his head poking out from over the shelves of chips. “If you wanted to go on a date, you could have just said so.”

Sasori snorted and crossed his arms in front of his chest. “I wouldn’t call this a date. Making out in front of the slushie machine, really? So classy.”

“Brings back memories huh, Sasori?” Sasori rubbed his brow with his index finger and thumb. “He gets hangry when he’s high. You guys don’t have the munchies do you?”

The three teenagers looked from Obito and then back down to Sasori━seriously, what was with the Uchiha family and being so tall?━eyes wide and stammering. Itachi blinked owlishly from behind his glasses but then looked around.

“You’re not high right now, are you Obito? You have my brother with you! You do have him with you, right?”

Obito blew a raspberry and then ducked down. There was a growling sound and a protest and then Sasuke was lifted up in the air above the shelves. “See? All in one piece.”

“Can you put me down now?”

“Aww, don’t you want to see your brother?” Obito asked, setting him back down.

“No, he’s a traitor,” Sasuke’s voice carried down the aisle as he stomped away.

Itachi at least had the decency to hang his head in defeat. Sasori rolled his eyes and went looking for his charges for the night. Ino was loud but she and Sakura were a lot easier to deal with than Kiba and Naruto. Speaking of, the two of them had been quiet for a while now…

There was a loud popping sound and then a pair of cackles. There was the sound of liquid splashing everywhere and one of the shop employees started shouting.

No. Nope, not dealing with that. Sasori turned in the opposite direction of the noise and grabbed Sakura and Ino’s hands. Sasuke jogged alongside them, following them right out of the store.

“Hey!” Ino whined. “I didn’t get my slushie!”

“That was Naruto wasn’t it?” Sakura asked, grabbing onto Sasuke’s hand to make sure he went around the corner with them as Sasori dragged them as far from the 7-Eleven as possible.

“The idiot said there wasn’t enough tricks happening tonight.”

“I’m choking him with his own tails later,” Sakura growled.

Well, alright then. Sasori did a double take, shocked that the threat had come from the child that had been the most quiet the whole night. The baby of the group is a lot darker than previously believed to be.

“We left Obito behind,” Sasuke informed him.

“Every man for himself.” Sasori chose not to remind him that he had also left behind his friends and his older brother.

He probably didn’t really care about his older brother and his “cousins” at the moment. Sasori was going to have to ask Obito how they were all related again. He knew that he and Sasuke were definitely related because Obito was a little more doting than was healthy and even had a collection of baby photos.

They were probably going to have to have a discussion about that as well if the relationship was going to go any further than the four months they already dated.

The ten year old smirked up at him, “you know what, you’re okay. I approve.”

“I wasn’t looking for your approval.” Sasuke simply shrugged.

“You got it anyway.”

.

.

Sasori made himself busy folding candy wrappers into different shapes for Sakura’s entertainment. She was clearly the only kid of the group worth wasting time on—Obito’s favoritism towards his baby cousin ignored of course.

He had only been in her presence for a few hours but it was obvious the little beauty queen had Obito’s cousin and Naruto wrapped around her little finger. It was something he had to respect just a bit.

“Okay, kiddos,” Obito addressed them all cheerily. “Where to next?”

“Don’t they have a curfew?”

“Nope!” Ino popped a bubble. Somehow all of the candy with gum ended up in her possession. “We’re all sleeping over at Sasuke’s.”

“What!?” Naruto shrieked. “Since when is Ino staying over?”

“Since Sakura asked.” Ino tossed her ponytail over her shoulder haughtily, fists balled at her hips.

“You got a problem, Naruto?” Sakura shook her little fist in his direction and the boy cowered, throwing his hands over his head.

“No, not at all.”

“God, you’re whipped,” Kiba snickered. His words though were directed to Sasuke who was sitting on the curb a little away from the rest of them.

“Shut up, Kiba.” Ino rolled her eyes. “There’s no such thing as being whipped.”

Kiba blew a raspberry at her. “It’s the whole reason we have an animal theme this year. ‘Cause someone gets cold easily and someone else went along with it.”

Oh. Sasori observed the way Sasuke’s ears turned a shade of red. His eyes shifted to Sakura who definitely was wearing the warmest costume, being the fluffy bunny and all.

“So how long are we going to be stuck with the kids?” Sasori asked Obito over the squawking of the children. As...cute...as they were, time with them was dragging on and he had plans for the way he wanted the night to end. “Kind of wanted to do some...things later.”

“Oh, really?” Obito gave him a cheeky grin. Wrapping an arm around his shoulders, he pulled Sasori closer, leaning in to—

“There are children present.” Sasori palmed Obito’s face and pushed him away.

“You’re just being a tease,” Obito whined. “Not like they would even notice.”

It was true. The kids weren’t even paying attention to them. The five of them were in their own little world, crowding Ino’s smartphone. Naruto lunged for the phone, exclaiming about something, but was pushed back by the other kids.

Sasori still couldn’t believe the stuff the brat had done in only a few hours. Bless his mother. Sasori could only imagine how difficult it was to deal with him 365 days of the year.

“This night has turned me off of kids.”

Obito scoffed and rolled his eyes. “You don’t mean that.”

“No, I’m serious. These kids are walking advertisements for birth control.”

Obito exhaled a laugh through his nose. “Love the kid, but I’m pretty sure Sasuke wasn’t planned.”

“Well, fortunately we won’t have that problem in the future. Can’t accidentally adopt a kid.”

Obito cradled his chin with his hand, his elbow propped on his knee. “Oh, we won’t will we?”

“Wipe that smirk off of your face.” Sasori pursed his lips and narrowed his eyes. He would have to deal with that cocky grin later. “I’ve tolerated you for four months already, who’s to say I won’t tolerate you for longer.”

“Tolerating me is what you’ve been doing, huh?” Obito snickered. “I feel so loved.”

“Oh, shut up.” This time Sasori only rolled his eyes as Obito wrapped an arm around his shoulder and pulled him closer.

At times it could be overwhelming, the intensity that Obito loved. It was a completely new experience and although it was nerve wracking the first few weeks of their courtship, the two had settled into an easy rhythm. It took Obito a week to leave his bed after their first night; Sasori should have taken that as a sign of how things would turn out for them.

“If you’re done flirting,” Ino approached them, features cooled into a business like appearance, “we want to go to the haunted house.”

“What? You haven’t committed enough minor criminal acts for one night?” Sasori eyed the shrimpy blond kid. “Vandalism and theft not enough, we have to add breaking and entering?”

“Hey! I bought those mints and that cola.” Naruto’s face scrunched up into an ugly pout before it finally dawned on him what Sasori had said. “There’s a real haunted house!?”

“Okay, down boy.” Ino grabbed Naruto by the scruff of his neck and kept him from tackling the adults in his excitement. “We’re not going to some abandoned house, we’re going much more commercial here. There’s a haunted house set up nearby that we technically can’t go to unless we have adults with us.”

“That doesn’t sound reassuring.”

“Sounds fun!” Obito stood up, pulling Sasori up with him. “Where is it?”

“Can I talk to you for a sec?” Sasori tugged on Obito’s hand until they were a far enough distance from the kids that they could speak in private while still keeping an eye on them. “Obito it’s late. We should be taking them back to your aunt’s house and then we should be going back to my apartment.”

“Come on,” Obito pleaded, “it will be fun! And it will be the last thing we do tonight with the kids. Besides, I’m sure that they’ll probably chicken out before we even go inside.”

“Last thing?”

“Yep!”

“And then we go home?”

“And we can do whatever you want.” Obito winked. “Come on. It will be quick and then we’ll be home before you know it.”

.

.

Obito was avoiding looking at him. Whenever they caught each other’s eyes he would grin sheepishly and rub the back of his neck and then go back to looking at the bars of the holding cell.

“Home before we know it, huh?” Sasori hissed from his seat on the bench. The cell was extremely full, but one look from him and the previous occupant had vacated the seat.

Obito wasn’t as lucky and was forced to stand in a corner. He used his position to keep an eye on the kids whom were sitting on a bench at the opposite side of the room.

“Let’s be fair. I’m not the reason we had the cops called on us.”

“But I’m not the reason we were in that stupid haunted house in the first place!” Sasori ran his hands down his face and sighed. He would gladly take idiot grad students and their keg stands right now.

The haunted house had been a stupid idea. It wasn’t as terrifying as Sasori had expected, but then again a group of ten year olds and one nine year old were probably going to be more afraid than he was considering he was used to more horrifying special effects and makeup. It came with his job.

The screaming he could handle. The hand holding wasn’t so bad. Sasori had spent most of the night holding hands with the little girls anyway. It was when a little hand had disappeared from his grasp that he had began to panic.

Sakura had screamed a moment later and Sasori found her being carried away by one of the performers. Which was how he and Obito now found themselves in a holding cell at the police station.

“What are you laughing at?” Sasori snapped. Obito had broken out into a peal of laughter. He pointed somewhere beyond where Sasori could see even standing up. “Really? I’m like a foot shorter than you, I can’t see shit.”

“Itachi and company are being brought in right now. I wonder what they did.”

“Okay, that’s kind of funny. What could your dorky cousin have done?”

“Oh, I can’t wait to see Uncle Fugaku’s face.” Obito continued to laugh. “It will make sitting here overnight worth it.”

“What? We’re not staying overnight.”

“Well, he’ll probably let you go but he’ll definitely keep me here as punishment for dragging Sasuke around past his bedtime and getting him caught up in this.” Sasori must have let his confusion slip on his face because Obito laughed even harder than earlier before finally explaining. “My uncle is the police captain.”

“Jesus Christ,” Sasori exhaled. “Is there any family member of yours I won’t be seeing tonight?”

“Hey, this would be a good chance to introduce you to him!”

“Obito. I’m not telling your uncle we’re dating while I’m sitting in a holding cell at his precinct.”

“It would be such a funny memory to tell our kids one day though,” Obito joked.

“I wasn’t kidding about those brats turning me off from having kids one day.” Sasori pinched the bridge of his nose. “Besides, it’s way too soon to even think about that.”

“You’ve tolerated me this long,” Obito mocked him using his words from earlier that night, “I’m sure we’ll get to that point some day.”

“Only if your family doesn’t put me into an early grave,” Sasori muttered.

“At least they’re not boring, right?”

Sasori would give him that. He hadn’t had a moment to rest the whole night, let alone a moment to relax enough to get bored. It didn’t mean he wanted a repeat though.

“Next Halloween, we’re staying in and watching movies.”

#HAPPY BIRTHDAY KITTY MWUAH #day!fics #uchiha family #SasoObi

[aqvarius]

Fav voltage games and any guys similar to you???

thanks for the ask!

[5] favourite games:

1. Her Love in the Force: because i’m So Predictable. honestly i feel this game is one of the strongest overall. the writing is incredible, the mix of drama and romance and action is perfect, the plots are always so interesting. i sometimes play other games and then kind of put it down before i’m finished with a route but with HLITF, i have to finish the whole route ASAP because i love the feeling of investigating and uncovering the plot in addition to the developing romantic relationship. also all the love interests are really top notch, and you really get to see the mc’s development into an incredible detective. can’t go wrong with this game at all. i recommend it wholeheartedly to everyone.

2. Dreamy Days in West Tokyo: this game makes me feel nostalgic for a high school experience i never even had. this is voltage’s sweetest game of all time (i say that but i actually never played class trip crush or any of the other school life ones lmao). if you love school life shoujo manga and osananajimi romances that you actually get to see develop all the way to marriage, this is the game for you. the reason that it’s one of my faves is that it’s actually surprisingly quite full of drama and anguish as well and i found a lot of the conflict in the relationships really quite relatable. i also love the camaraderie between the whole friend group :)

3. Be My Princess: a true classic. this is one of the first voltage games i ever played. i totally understand why it had to come to an end but how i wish there was more BMP content. give us butler routes voltage you cowards!!!!! BUM is not the same!!!! anyway wow this was back when princesses were the trend for MCs and now i guess everyone is just raring for action MCs. i miss Average Girl MCs - anyone else? i’d love to see more political drama in BMP too… i’m also especially nostalgic for this game because the OG voltage tumblr crew were so much fun

4. Kiss of Revenge: such a good game that i wish they continued. this is when i feel like voltage was peaking with their more mature games and MCs. the only good and valid Dr. MC, RMD MC needs to learn from her. this is another game where i wish there were more content. i love that the MC is the focal point of the drama rather than the love interests. although i do suppose it is a game where the premise only really allows for limited content…

5: A Knight’s Devotion/My Sweet Bodyguard: AKD is just MSB in medieval times. i couldn’t decide between the two because the premise is basically the same and AKD is just the ‘less content’ version of the two. i do still really like the bodyguard/knight falling in love with his mistress trope, and i don’t really mind that the MC is kinda weak physically. people always slag her off for just like panicking when she’s in precarious situations but unless you’re a seasoned fighter, you would panic in real life too, don’t lie. there are different types of strengths and i feel like the AKD/MSB MCs demonstrate the type of tolerance and understanding that really complements their LIs. also i’m forever grateful for MSB for giving us the greatest spinoff app of all time, HLITF. 

6. BONUS it’s not an otome game but Voltage released this game 生存率0%! 地下鉄からの脱出 which is a VN horror survival type game? I’ve been wanting it since I saw the trailer in 2013. 

[5] guys similar to your personality:

all the tsunderes lol. no but for real

1. Ayumu Shinonome: this is strange because i love him so much as a LI haha. but in actuality, we’re pretty similar. i’m pretty bad at expressing my feelings for people even if i feel them so strongly and i kind of send out hints here and there and expect my SO to get them (and he gets it just enough for me to feel like this a viable form of communication lol). in general i’m the type of person who often does things without explaining myself and internalise everything when i’m annoyed. i did one of those stupid facebook meme generator things about myself and it came up with this which is so accurate i hate it

i’m also the type to put a lot of value on toiletries/cosmetics lol, i’ll spend an hour hovering around the chemist/drugstore and i’ll do SO much research before buying new makeup/skincare/haircare etc. ayumu and i share a motto which is “要靚唔要命” (fashion > comfort/life lmao)

i also take my teaching pretty seriously (although… i would never ever date a student) like literally i’ll have to get up at 7am to teach a 9am seminar and then i’ll still be up at 4am thinking of activities to try to get them to practice applying a certain theory or adjusting the wording of my questions to get them to understand something better. i love peach tea and i used to get it from the vending machine every day when i was in school lmao and i was not gonna reveal this for fear of seeming lame but i’m just gonna admit that i also have a dinosaur phone case hahahaha although i got it just cause it was cute and not cause i’m a dinophile. anyway the big difference between us though is that ayumu is a genius while i am made up of Dumbass Juice

2. Toru Kurosawa: i’m loathe to admit it but i’m also kinda similar to this….. freaking……. guy…….. cause he’s kinda cheerful and sometimes a bit of a chatterbox on the surface but also kinda… two-faced?? which, same. i don’t really take things seriously unless it’s actually a big deal to me and then i’m like SUPER serious about it. also my friends probably all find me super annoying l m a o there was a time in my life where i would spam my close friend circle group chat and everyone would just ignore me 

another similarity is that we tend to push people away when we have personal issues to deal with. i always try to sort my own shit out before involving anyone else even if the situation involves them (but this also means that even if something is not my fault i’ll find a way to rationalise that it is my own fault and then accept it as my own problem and the other person will get off scot free)

3. Rihito Hatsune: oh? what’s that? another Bad Personality Guy? i think i’ve toned this down a fair bit from before but i can actually be pretty manipulative with guys and instead of being up front and direct, i’ll just do and say things that will get me the response that i want (lol the recurring theme here is that i’m a terrible person and bad communicator. @ my boyfriend, thank you for putting up with me for 4 years lol). i’m also a classically trained musician (but stopped just short of applying to conservatory for musical performance when i did my uni applications back in the day cause i suck at theory)

4. Mizuki Fujisaki: beyond all my two-facedness, bad interpersonal communication skills and other general negative personality traits, i think mizuki and i are similar in that we share the same airheadedness. like i think we both share a brainwave and that brainwave is only accessible in outer space. in mizuki, it’s cute. in me, it’s… ADHD maybe…??? who knows. 

5. Glenn Casiraghi: it’s hard to find 5 different guys who are similar to me lol. i guess i would go with glenn because he has a complex about his age (i too have always been the youngest in my cohort - family, friends, schoolmates, etc. and i have such an inferiority complex about it lol) and he can be kinda spoilt but also pretty responsible when he has to be

#why did i ramble on so much lmao #you guise don't need to know this much shit about me #snow answers #anonymous #her love in the force #hlitf #dreamy days in west tokyo #ddiwt #be my princess #bmp #kiss of revenge #kor #a knight's devotion #akd #my sweet bodyguard #msb #0% survival #ayumu shinonome #toru kurosawa #rihito hatsune #mizuki fujisaki #glenn j casiraghi #snow irl #Anonymous

[imaginedilestrade]

An English Blizzard- Part 5

Warnings: Kinda nsfw (not really that bad to be honest) swearing? I can’t remember

A/N: Now I know I said ‘five parts’ but y'all are getting six because I love you all that much! 😅😁

—————————— Chapter 5 ——————

After spending the night at your dads and Sebastian’s house, you rushed home as soon as you possibly could to jump in for a shower and get ready.

When you arrived back at your apartment it was empty so you could shower in peace. You threw on a cosy jumper and jeans and put on boots that would withstand the snow and ice on the pavements.

You checked your watch and noticed it was almost twelve so you rushed downstairs and to the street where Greg would be picking you up. He pulled up five minutes later in a bright red mini. You got into the car with a huge smile in your face “Hi.”

“Hello,” he greeted and leaned over to kiss you “You ready to go?”

You nodded “Yeah, where are we going?”

“I’m going to introduce you to someone,” he winked and you went wide eyed, gasping as you grinned.

“Am I meeting Cooper? I’m meeting your dog today?!”

Greg could help but smile at your excitement. His jaw was aching from smiling so much. He nodded and you clapped your hands in delight “What are you waiting for?! Drive!”

—

Your happiness was infectious and Greg couldn’t wait to introduce you to his dog.

He didn’t know how something so little could make him so unbelievably happy. “Are you ready?” He asked.

“I’ve been ready since I saw the photo of him like a week ago!” You bounced on the spot. Greg opened the door and you heard the tapping of claws as Cooper ran through the house to greet you and Greg. He pounced on you and you fell to the floor in a fit of giggles as you pet the dog. “He’s the most adorable thing I’ve ever seen!” You squealed and looked up to Greg who was lightly pouting “Oh come on don’t look at me like that! You know you’re never going to win against this adorable face!” You scratched the back of coopers ears and placed a kiss on his head “He’s gorgeous!”

“Hmm…whatever you say. You want to watch a movie?” He asked.

“Sure!” You smiled and he helped you off the floor. Greg pulled you in close and placed his hands on your hips before wrapping his arms around you and tightly hugging you. He lead you through to the living room and sat you down on the couch. He set up the DVD while you removed your boots. He joined you on the couch and lay back, allowing you to rest your head against his chest as the rest of you lay between his legs.

“This is so relaxing,” he hummed and you nodded, lazily tracing circles over his shirt with your finger.

You looked up to him and he leaned forward, kissing you almost teasingly. You shuffled yourself up a bit and kissed him forcefully, he let out shaky moan and it made your lips tingle from the vibrations. Greg’s hands began to wander and he grabbed your hips, pushing you up off of him so he could sit upright.

Greg pulled you back towards him and you wrapped your legs around his waist whilst sitting on his lap. He pulled away and gently brushed back invisible pieces of hair behind your ear “Does it not worry you that I’m…old?” He asked with a hint of sadness in his voice.

You felt your heart aching hearing his words and the tone he used to speak them in. “Does it not worry you that I’m Jim’s daughter?” You asked.

Greg shook his head “No it doesn’t.” He kissed you again.

“Well then you just took my words right out of your own mouth. Age isn’t a factor that bothers me and besides you’re not that old. You’re less than double my age.” You smiled and pecked his lips. You saw a wave of relief wash over his face.

“Yeah but I’m two or three years away from being double your age,” he let out a snort of laughter before kissing you again.

“It doesn’t bother me…” you breathed out and cupped his face. Greg ran his fingers though your hair, as he brought your mouth to his again. He playfully bit your bottom lip making you gasp and giggle. His hands went wandering to under your jumper, it sent chills down your spine as he gently caressed your skin.

Greg tugged slightly at the hem of your jumper and you pulled back. You bit down on your lip and gulped before slowly peeling off the fuzzy red jumper. Greg’s breath hitched as he ran his fingers over your exposed skin. He stopped when he reached your bra straps and moved his hand to take it off.

“Greg…” you stopped him and he looked up at you with worried eyes.

“What’s wrong? Do you want me to stop?”

“No,” you laughed and glanced to the side before returning your gaze to Greg “The dog’s watching…”

You both looked over to an oblivious Cooper and burst out laughing. “I know a place where he can’t watch…” he trailed off and you stood up. He got up off the couch and took your hand in his, leading you to his bedroom with a smile.

—

Greg opened his eyes to a bright room, the snow falling outside made it look almost clinical. He felt the space next to him was empty and propped himself up on his elbows, wondering where you had gone.

But when he looked up to the window he smiled.

There you were sitting perched on the frame, wearing one of his shirts with nothing else but bright yellow fluffy socks that could bring sunshine to even the gloomiest of days, frantically writing as if your life depended on it.

“I didn’t want to wake you…” you softly whispered while still writing “But I had a brainwave and I had to jot it down.”

Greg lay back on the bed again, looking at you full of admiration. Your body against the snowy, white backdrop was like looking at a work of art.

“You were very inspiring…” you trailed off and glanced up to him with reddening cheeks and disheveled hair.

“Sex with me was inspiring?” He asked with a voice full of amusement.

You nodded with a bashful smile and continued to write. Scribbling the words; Blizzard of feelings…a snowflake is never the same, neither is my feelings for him each time or the way it feels when he touches my skin, even if his fingers have been there before.’

“What are you writing anyway?” Greg curiously asked and craned his neck slightly in attempts to see.

You turned to him and placed down the piece of paper and pen “Something about the weather and feelings. Interlinking them. Was just a moment of 'Post-great sex’ inspiration” you smirked and stood up. You noticed him eyeing up his shirt on you.

Greg extended his arms and you joined him on the bed again, allowing him to engulf you in a hug “That shirt suits you…” he whispered and kissed down your neck.

“I still have your scarf,” you breathed out before letting out a small moan under your breath as his lips brushed over a sensitive part of your neck.

“It’s yours, you can keep it. Looks better on you anyway.” You smiled at his words and joined him under the sheets once more with a giggle as it continued to snow outside. The coldness that lingered out there could never burst the bubble of warmth you shared with Greg under the covers.

—

“It’s been weeks and we still haven’t met him, Y/N. If not before Christmas, when?!” Mary asked as she scoured the library with you before she and John left to go their parents for Christmas break.

“You’ll meet him one day…” you sighed and took out a book from the shelf, glancing over the cover before realising you had read it before and put it back. You walked the length of the passage once more and continued looking at books.

“Yeah but I want to meet him now!” She whined and placed her head on your shoulder as she took out a book. “Oh hello Professor Lestrade!”

Well…she got what she asked for.

You tensed on the spot and felt your mouth dry up. Greg was looking directly at you with wide eyes and a smile between the small gap the book used to reside in “Hello Mary and hello Y/N.”

You loudly gulped but Mary was to busy conversing to notice. “Oh you remember Y/N?” She asked with a large smile.

“How could I forget?” Greg smirked and your face burned. You turned away and continued walking, Mary and Greg-who was on the other side of the wall of books-followed. “What are you two lovely ladies up to today?” He asked.

Mary answered “Just helping the book nerd here-”

“Hey!” You cut her off with a nudge.

“I’m also trying to find out who her boyfriend is. She isn’t telling anyone a thing!” Mary complained.

Greg looked at you with a knowing smirk and you furrowed your brow at him “Well technically he’s not my boyfriend…” you trailed off with a playful smirk. You looked up to Greg though your eyelashes who had a face riddled with confusion. You continued with a coy smile “He hasn’t asked me if I’d like to be his girlfriend…”

Greg opened his mouth but it snapped shut when he realised he was still in Mary’s presence. “He will of he knows that’s good for him…” Mary trailed off and you looked up to Greg with a 'That’s you told’ expression on your face. Mary’s phone rang, much to the annoyance of the librarian on duty “Oh that’s John!”

You engulfed her in a hug “I’m going to stay here for a bit but I hope you and John and all your family have a lovely Christmas.”

“I hope you have a good Christmas and new year too, you too professor,” she smiled at the silver haired man who wished her the same “Okay I’m off! And remember Y/N no peeking at your presents!”

“Don’t you or John attempt to look at your gifts then! Bye Mary!” You waved her off with a smile. You turned to Greg as soon as she disappeared though the doors “Hello professor…” you purred and slowly walked to the end of the aisle, meeting Greg at the end who glanced around before wrapping his arms around you.

“Don’t call me that here, you’ll just be asking for trouble…” he huskily whispered and gently bit your ear. You quietly giggled, trying not to draw attention to the two of you.

“You have a professor kink? I’m sorry to tell you that it doesn’t surprise me,” you playfully smirk and Greg growled under his breath “Do you fancy a going for a coffee?”

—

You walked along the banks of Thames hand in hand, your coffee in the other. It snowed the other day and there was little white piles dotted along the edges of the streets.

Greg stopped for a moment and pulled you into an alleyway “Greg what are you-” you were cut off by his lips crashing against yours. The only onlooker was Big Ben that had chimed as it struck five in the afternoon. Your coffee as slipped out your hand and your heels had raised slightly.

Greg pulled back slightly “Would you like to be my girlfriend?” He asked as he gulped down air.

“Yes,” you smiled and nodded “Yes I really would!”

You crashed your lips to his again, full of delight. Greg balanced you by placing his hands on your hips, but he was discreetly pulling you closer to him.

“Y/N?!”

You pulled away when someone screamed your name. You and Greg paled as you turned your heads to a very confused and extremely angry Sebastian.

——————— Tags: (Let me know if you’d like to be tagged/Untagged)

@adorablebadger @damnitman-jamlocked-inthetardis @daynaan @rikkachloechan @holmes-maev @cutie1365 @wcsteland @theyre-my-divsion @gotham-s-lover @littlepostitnotes @chrissydarlingwrites @laterthantherabbit @annkli @-waythe- (link not working)

#imaginedilestrade #an English blizzard #greg lestrade #lestrade #lestrade x reader #greg lestrade x reader #inspector lestrade #di lestrade #professor!au #professor lestrade #bbc sherlock #bbc sherlock imagines #bbc sherlock imagine #mary morstan #john watson #Sherlock #sherlock holmes #molly hooper #sebastian moran #jim moriarty

[andthenwedance]

On the 25th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me...

Sorry this has taken so so so long @broadwaybaggins! I blame too much international travel

Forewarning this is actually my first Mercy Street fic and I don’t totally have the character’s voices in my head. Yay for the show coming back this week to amend that!!

Phoster College AU basically just based this on things that we both love- ie Notre Dame tailgates and theater and Hamilton. Happy Belated Christmas Allison :)

Jed Foster watched his breath fog before him as he opened the car door. He pulled his gloves firmly on his hands. The snow on the field where he was parked was fresh and downy, surprising for the amount of traffic that was traversing the field. He tucked his blue and gold scarf on tighter- if it was going to be this cold all day, then it was going to be a long day.

 He checked his phone for the location of the tailgate, “Stadium Lot, look for a Green SUV and a Chicago flag.”

 It had been a while since Jed had been on campus, and he’d never actually been a student at the university, but he thought he could manage to make his way to campus. He could see the infamous Golden Dome in the foreground, flanked by the church steeple and library top. It gave him a tingle of excitement, as did the bustle of game day as he approached the campus. It was early, nearly 11AM, but there were plenty of students bundled in game day attire, blasting music from dorm room windows, and others grilling up messes of smoke at handmade concession stands. He admired the students’ stamina, as they’d been undoubtedly up late the night before be it partying or studying. He remembered being an undergraduate, at a much smaller school, but just being on campus here recalled several memories of both the stress and camaraderie of college. Not that med school was any less stressful, but the environment was different than undergrad.

 He navigated his way to the stadium, hard to miss with excessive construction tangled around it. Behind the stadium was a massive parking lot brimming with activity. There were cars as far as the eye could see, each with a tent set up outside, often with grills of their own and copious amounts of alcohol. It’d been a while since he’d been a football game and he was eager to get into the game day spirit. And, as the holiday season was approaching, he was also ready to welcome the Christmas spirit.

 Jed wandered through the aisles of tailgates, trying to find the Green family’s spot. They were old friends from back home who’d reached out to offer Jed an extra ticket with the hope of him hobnobbing with a doctor friend of theirs, who might be a valuable networking connection or something like that.

 After passing a handful of Chicago flags, he located the Green family’s tailgate.

 “There’s the good doctor,” A voice called to him, waving him over.

 Jed chuckled and turned to their spot.

 He took in the family and their milling friends and family around them. He recognized Emma at once. Their daughter was a year younger than him and he knew her pretty well. He had met her years back. Her black curls were dancing under her bright green Santa hat. Leave it to Emma Green to own green everything. She was talking to someone else, another girl with dark hair and bangs. The girl was a taller, a fierce look on her face. Jed instantly thought she was gorgeous.

 He took one glance at the chattering group of adults, all of them engaging in drunk networking, and he moved over to where the girls were sipping drinks.

 “Oh hey Jed,” Emma called, “I’m glad you made it.”

“Me too,” He said.

 “Here, have a pretzel necklace,” Emma said cheerfully, putting one around his neck, “It’s our mom’s new tailgating brainwave.”

 “Uh, thanks,” He said, with a chuckle.

 “This is my roommate, Mary,” Emma said.

 The dark-haired girl rolled her eyes as Emma gave her a bump towards Jed.

 “Hi,” Mary said.

 “Mary is going to be a doctor too,” Emma told him.

 “I have to get into medical school first,” Mary said carefully, “But yeah that’s the plan.”

 Her voice was low and straightforward. He liked that.

  “I’m sure you’ll get in,” He said, trying to sound hopeful.

 “She totally will,” Emma gabbed, “She’s got amazing grades. Plus, she’s also doing a theater major.”

 “You act too?” He asked.

 Clearly Emma’s friend was a wealth of talent.

 “Yeah, I do,” She said.

 “You guys should really talk about doctor things,” Emma said, “I’m going to go figure out where Alice went. Last time I saw her she was heading towards a USC tailgate. Our rivals, really? Seriously, I can’t keep that girl out of trouble. Byyyyeeee!”

 Jed was thrown for a moment. It seemed that Emma was up to some amateur match making, but this could be very awkward- especially for her roommate who seemed a little shy.

 “So uh,” He said, “Is it hard balancing theater and medicine? Like do you have time for plays and all the homework?”

 Mary blinked up at him for a moment and then cracked a smile, “Wow, a lot of people don’t think of that- but yeah it can be sort of stressful. But, I’ve it this far right?”

 Somehow the awkward tension between them dissipated into friend chitchat. She told him about the play she’d been in, most recently playing the Baker’s Wife in Into the Woods. So clearly, she could sing as well. He prodded her on the medical schools she applied to, schools all over- but three in Chicago. He imagined what things might be like if they lived in the same city. They might be able to give dating a real chance.

 In exchange, he talked to her about his first year of medical school so far- the struggles, the excitement, the new friends he made, how he liked living in a big city. He gave tips for interviews, though he could tell already that she had what it took. Applications were definitely a toss-up, a gamble- but he believed that

 It was after nearly an hour of chatting that her phone started ringing.

 “Damn, sorry, I forgot I promised another friend I’d go to her tailgate,” Mary said, “I really liked getting to know you. I’m sure I’ll run into you another time.”

 She gave him a hug and then ran off. He watched her run into the crowd. Her dark head and navy jacket stayed in focus until it didn’t- blending into those around her.

 He wondered if this was what Great American love stories were like today. Boy and girl meet, not at all ball, or a hospital during wartime, but at a college football tailgate. Their both well educated, highly driven. Is this what everyone strived for?

 But as he gazed at the throng of beer-soaked, gold-and-blue dazzled game watchers, he realized that if it was his all-American love story, it didn’t have a happy end. He’d already lost her.

 “Hey, Jed, come over here I want you to meet someone,” A voice beckoned him to further networking. But he felt a sense of loss settle in his chest as he took one final glance at the crowd.

 --

 By the third quarter Mary was freezing. She was normally good about staying for games- the whole game. It was tradition: standing on the benches, singing the Alma Mater with her friends, and then racing to the dining hall for candlelight dinner.

 But well, the team was losing. Mary’s feet were numb, and had been since the first quarter and her fingers were also losing feeling. In addition, her boots were covered in goo from the marshmallow war that that had taken place during half time.

 And well, she couldn’t stop thinking about Emma’s cute friend. He had been an interesting person to talk to, cute too. She felt antsy about the fact that she was unlikely to see him again. She didn’t meet intelligent, medical students everyday- especially ones that were as down to earth as he was.

 It didn’t matter because she was never going to see him again. It was best to head back to her dorm now before she needed to be taken to the hospital for hypothermia or something. She bid goodbye to her friends, despite their intense protests, and headed out of the stadium.

 She was exiting when suddenly- there he was.

 “Jed, right?” She asked.

 For as cute as he was, his name kinda sucked.

 “Yeah, Mary,” He said, his eyes lightening up.

 “Why aren’t you in the game?” She asked.

 “Too cold,” He remarked.

 “Same,” She agreed.

 “Could you direct me to the nearest Starbucks?” He asked.

 She smiled and nodded, “Yeah there is one in the student center.”

 “If you show me the way, I’ll buy you a coffee,” He offered.

 “I suppose I can be convinced,” She said, giving a smile.

 They walked across campus, despite her frozen feet, to the Starbucks. She watched him order a plain coffee and a caramel macchiato for her. They settled in the main area of the student center where they could still watch the game on the large TV there.

 She listened as he told her about how he decided to become a doctor. His brother had his leg amputated when he younger and Jed had felt powerless. He decided to become a doctor soon after. Mary shared her story in exchange- how the death of her high school boyfriend had prompted her take an interest in medicine as a way to make up for it.

 “Well, it seems like we have a fair share of sad stories between us,” Mary acknowledged.

 “And guilt complexes,” He added.

 Her phone started buzzing with just as the feeling came back into her feet. She knew that her friends were calling her about dinner plans.

 “Wow,” Jed said, nodding at the screen, “Would you look at that- we won!”

 She glanced at the TV and indeed they had pulled out a victory.

 “Who would have thought?” She said, breaking into a huge smile.

 She leapt forward and gave him a hug. He pulled her tight. And dang it, she really liked being in his arms.

 When they pulled back, she awkwardly looked at her phone and saw a flurry of texts from friends, beckoning her to dinner and celebrations.

 “Look,” She said, “I need to go. But, I think we should stay in touch.”

 “Actually, I have extra theater tickets for next weekend, if you want to visit Chicago,” He offered.

 “Hmm,” She said, “Next week is reading weekend, exams are important for doctoring and such- but I might go if the show is good.”

 “Well, they’re Hamilton tickets,” He admitted, “But if you really need to study…”

 “You have extra Hamilton tickets? Who are you?” She gasped.

 “They were a gift from a friend and I was going to invite a friend from class, but something tells me you’ll appreciate them more,” He told her.

 “Yes, I’ll be here,” She said. She could hear her voice getting a little squeaky with excitement.

 “Great,” He said, “You can study the rest of the weekend if you wish. I’ll be studying too.”

 “A studying and Hamilton date?” She said, before taking a shaky step forward to him and putting a kiss on his lips.

 “So that’s a yes?” He said.

“Definitely a yes,” She agreed, “Merry Christmas.”

#mercy street #ms ff #phoster #but honestly this is a very bizarre and specific AU #mercy street secret santa 2016 #also not very well edited bc i wanted to get it up before i fell asleep on my laptop again #jet lag is not treating me well

[danielleslie1]

The flood gates have opened and its raining women

Guys I’ve been a natural pretty much all my life and honestly I’ve maybe started being a PUA 5 years back, I learned a few psychology tricks here and there but I didn’t do it for nothing serious. We all have our fair share of fat girls we’ve been with, but predominately all my women’s have been HB 9’s and HB 10’s. before I moved from my old city, I was fucking strippers and my life style was wild, I couldn’t keep up with having such a huge social circle, and my daily life. I had a filter of 50-60 girls I’d text throughout the month and a regular 10 that I know I could fuck at anytime. Until I got into a fucking relationship with the craziest of craziest woman, she strips me of my manhood, changes me literally goes through my contacts and ruins life long relationships and we ended up splitting early on. (My fault I take 100 responsiblility) when I moved to my new home it felt disconnected from the world, holy shit how hard is it to get girls when you move to a entirely new city. It is a fucking bitch. So for the 6 months I’ve lived here I might have hooked up with like 4 chicks which is a life time low for me they were all milfs. I’m 23 so idc. I have yet to experience the night life, well for a few reasons… I don’t wanna go alone and the city is dangerous. No worries because the area I live is a island in the middle of nowhere and my job is half a mile from my house. I work next to two HB 7 females that give me daily IOI’s that I’ve come accustom to shrugging off because I’m used to noticing them, one has a boyfriend and I could tell the days we had alone with each other I have her melting in her pants. My only problem is she refuses to text me or have anything to do with me. I even got her social medias and she ended up blocking me… (PS. The day she blocked me she was having problems with her boyfriend so supposedly she didn’t get whole account) I have women that come in and out of my place of work but none that actually interest me into doing anything, but one day I went to cash out some bills for my job at the local bank and I shit you not…. an HB 10! Sitting at the front desk looking like a snack. Mmmm I’d say a few years back I could have cracked a joke on the spot to have her rolling , but when life forces you to calm down your brainwaves almost start working at that frequency, although I got her number and she visited me at my job. Ooooo you shoulda seen the look on my coworkers face. Super jealous! But me and HB 10 never really hit it off after that. And New Years was rolling about and I was like FUCK I refuse to be single this year. So I desperately turn to online dating to see what fortune lies ahead, I get a girls number boom, she comes over same night to watch a movie, she looks like an HB 8 in her pics but in person easily an HB 10, from Poland had this really distinct accent make any man go wild. Within like the first 15 mins of her being their I kiss closed, it got hot quick at first she didn’t let me take off her top but in the heat of the moment all her clothes started slipping off, before you know it I had her titties in my mouth which is the furthest she let me go… SHE HAD PERFECT BOOBS IVE NEVER IN MY LIFE SEEN A GIRL WITH SUCH AMAZING NIPPLES! We built a solid connection together she kept grabbing me through out the night kissing me , like I was falling for her. when she left the next morning, she got really cold… she didn’t text me or nothing the entire day , I was thinking wtf is going on with me what’s wrong with me that these girls don’t want to talk to me. What did I do am I boring do I need to go out there and remake social references to be entertaining. She did tell me to “Entertain her” which I’m pretty good at doing, is she implying that I’m boring? So many questions unanswered. Now I’ve just been worked up and pretty much trashed by this chick, I didn’t let it stop me , although my spirit was a little broken, thanks to you great guys and articles through out the year I’ve always been movtivated to push through which I immediately did, got back on the social sites and when prowling for women again, that’s when women started swiping right like wildfire ! In a matter of 30 mins I was talks to 3 different girls all giving me their phone number wanting to meet up. I set up one movie date for Tuesday , hopefully she doesn’t flake we planned on seeing black panther , she’s excited I’m excited, but her response was still I’ll let you know. But to give her an incentive I also asked for a favor to use her printer that I have document I have to print and mine is broken, I sent her the document and she printed it she said she will bring it Tuesday *Smiles* and guess what happens later that night after 4 weeks of no reply from the bank girl I finally get a reply and we’ve been talking again hitting it off, not to mention I have 2 other girls I’m talking to so this kinda happened rapidly and in such a short spurt of time. So actually I’m overwhelmed at this point. And I don’t know what to do because Idk how to entertain all these women and keep them coming back that’s my weak point, I need help guys what should I do, improve my text game? Find interests? How do women feel talking to a stranger? I think I’m borderline sociopath because I’m way too comfortable in my own skin that I always just assume the girl would like me, should I regress? Should I try to understand the social dynamics in the moment , my lack of empathy is killing me! What should I do. I’d say I want a girlfriend by the end of this month or next. How should I go about it ?

from PUA Forum http://www.puaforums.com/general-questions/32051-flood-gates-have-opened-its-raining-women.html from PUA Forum https://puaforumscom.tumblr.com/post/171047444213

[danniellevassallo-blog]

Another Woman Has Accused Robert Scoble of Sexual Harassment

Robert Scoble at the NEXT Berlin conference on April 24, 2013

Dpa / AFP / Getty Images

Robert Scoble, the high-profile tech evangelist and blogger, and longtime fixture at industry events, has been accused by a second woman of groping. Michelle Greer, who worked with Scoble at Rackspace in 2009 and 2010, says Scoble groped her at a tech conference in 2010. The accusation comes on the same day that the technology journalist Quinn Norton accused Scoble of assaulting her in the early 2010s at Foo Camp, a hacker conference. Norton wrote, "And then, without any more warning, Scoble was on me. I felt one hand on my breast and his arm reaching around and grabbing my butt."

Scoble is an influential figure in tech. He started his Scobleizer blog in 2000, and parlayed the blog into lucrative roles including technology evangelist at Microsoft, futurist at Rackspace, and most recently, entrepreneur in residence at Upload, a virtual reality startup that recently settled a sexual harassment lawsuit with a former employee. He's a fixture at tech conferences, where he gives talks with titles like "Beyond Mobile." He's also written several books with a co-author, Shel Israel, including 2016's The Fourth Transformation, about how in the future, we will replace everything we do on our phones with moving our eyes or even brainwaves.

Greer was a senior manager in corporate communications at Rackspace, where one of her responsibilities was to produce content for Scoble's now-defunct "Building 43" project, a social networking and content community that largely focused on startups. One night in February 2010 when Greer was at the Startup Riot tech conference with Scoble in Atlanta, a few people from Rackspace ended up in the hotel bar.

"I remember seeing him with two drinks in his hand," she told BuzzFeed News. "My boss sat next to me, and Scoble sits across from me and starts touching my leg." She said that she told the group she was tired and had to go up to her room. Once she got there, she called her boyfriend and told him what had happened.

A couple days later, when the team was back in San Francisco, Scoble's producer (who was present during the incident) apologized to her. As she recalled, he told her, "I'm so sorry, my employees will never touch you again." But Scoble himself never apologized, and Greer decided not to go to HR with what had happened.

When contacted by BuzzFeed News via Facebook Messenger on Thursday, Scoble said, "What happened with Michelle happened with my boss," as well as "other women in the room." He declined to comment further, saying only that he would be doing a live video at midnight Pacific.

After the incident, Greer still had to work with Scoble. Their face-to-face interaction was limited, since she was based in Austin and he was in San Francisco, but still, Greer said, "I was afraid of him," and she dreaded their occasional interactions at conferences and events. She decided to try to transfer to a different team at Rackspace, but within the next few months, two different teams told her they didn't have the head count to put her on their teams. In the meantime, her job performance was suffering. "I had basically shut down," she said. "I was miserable."

One day, she got called into an office by her boss, who told her he didn't think she could be happy at the company, and let her go. (Greer's former boss did not return a phone call from BuzzFeed News.) At her exit interview, she said, she told HR everything that had happened. "You could tell they felt bad," she said. "They were like, why didn't you come to us before? I was like, it's Robert Scoble. If this gets out, he has the bigger megaphone than I do. I could be totally hosed."

The timing, she said, was terrible: "I had just gotten a condo. I had a mortgage."

For Greer, one of the most galling things about what happened was watching Scoble continue to act like an advocate for women in tech on social media and elsewhere. "He'll share a lot of stuff about women in tech. He tries to act like an ally." In July, she posted a comment on Facebook that said, "I have always worked with mostly men. They know things should change. If you don't get rid of the bad actors though, nothing changes." Scoble liked her comment. "I responded, 'You're a bad actor. I can't tell you how awful I felt after working with you. Watching you like this post angered me.' He said, 'Saying I am sorry isn't enough to undo the harm I have done.'"

Years after the incident and her subsequent firing, Greer is still angry about how she was treated. "I have to explain for the rest of my life why I only worked at Rackspace for 10 months. I wish I had gone to HR when it happened so I could have nipped it in the bud, and it wouldn't be this cancer that just spread."

To Greer, it seems as though she's been victimized all over again. "He apologizes and then he keeps doing this crap," she said. "I lost my job. It traumatized me for life."