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#my anxiety is at an all time high yall
quillyfied · 1 year
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Tiny reminder, if you take frequent medications and find yourself needing to take specialized over the counter medicine (as for allergies, a cold, tummy bug, whatever), to always check your drug interactions BEFORE you put something in your body. Pharmacists are a good source, as is this drugs.com interaction checker. Sometimes it’s fine. Sometimes you find out after the fact you can’t take a decongestant along with your adhd meds without it making you dizzy and weak and confused before your body works overtime to get it out of your system by any means necessary. Do your research!! Do not play with your body chemicals unless you really know what you’re doing!
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todostiddies · 7 days
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cried
THEY MADE IT TO NATIONALS
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bennitastisch · 1 year
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i have to go to sleep now but the problem is that i only have to go to sleep now bc ill have to get up early the next few days but not tomorrow so im bedtime-revenging pretty hardcore and i can even tell myself i have to sleep or otherwise ill be tired for my appointment tomorrow
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quintinh43 · 2 months
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Heavy Heads and Heavy Hearts | Quinn Hughes
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Summary: Quinn gets injured as a game. His girlfriend takes him and cares for him.
Pairings: Quinn Hughes x Fem!Reader
Warnings: Anxiety, Head injury, food, angst, mentions of vomiting (no actual vomiting)
Notes: Hi guyss! Hope everyone is doing ok! Injured Quinn got the most votes, so here we are! This one is the longest one ive done so far, I definitely did not mean for it to be as long as it is but here we are. Also, im not a professionl in any way, so i cant say this is concussion accurate. I just went off of my experience in dealing with athletes that have Concussions, and my own Concussions lol. Anywaysss I hope yall enjoy. Love Soph.
---
There was something so gut-wrenching about watching the man you love get injured. One second, Quinn was cutting quickly around the back of the net, and the next, he was getting slammed into the boards hard. It was nothing. You get hit, you get up, and you keep going. It was simply a part of hockey.
Except this time, Quinn wasn't getting up. He wasn't moving at all. You stand up, heart in your throat. The room feels like it's tilting. The sharp shrill of the refs whistle cut through the air, stopping the play as the refs skate over to where Quinn is lying motionless on the ice.
They are calling for medics. Your head is spinning with the worst possible scenarios as you excuse yourself from your seat and practically sprint to the locker room. One of the security members holds out a hand to stop you.
"Ma'am, you can't be here, please exit this area"
Great. Just fucking great. This is exactly what you need right now. The overwhelming need that aches in your bones demanding to know that Quinn is ok makes you want to cry. Because now this fucker won't let you through. And you're nearly too panicked to do anything about it.
The logical route would be pulling out Quinns wallet, that has his ID in it, and explaining that you are his girlfriend. But with your anxiety high, and your heart in your throat logic is not the first thing on your mind.
"Listen buddy," you start, ready to absolutely rip this guy a new one. Thankfully for him, one of the trainers who knows you happens to be exiting the locker room.
"Let her through, Jace, that's Hughes' girl" he says, waving you forward. The security guard- Jace apparently, lets you pass with a grumble.
By the time you get rink side, Quinn is (half) conscious- thank God, and being half carried off the ice by Petey and Boeser. He's transfered to the care of two medics, who sit him on a bench and begin to check him over.
One of them is asking him questions gently, both to keep him awake and assess the damage to his head. While the other stabilizes his neck. "Can you tell me your full name and today's date?" One of the medics asks.
"Quintin Jerome Hughes," he slurs, eyes fluttering, "its Feb'uary... twenty-second, twenty-twenty-four"
Your breath hitches. He got the date wrong. You can't help the panic that rushes through you. "Good job Quinn, do you know where you are?"
"Van, Roger's arena," he mumbles, "playing hockey"
"Good," the medic hums. "we need to take off your equipment to make sure you aren't injured anywhere else. Is that ok?"
"Y/n" he mumbles, eyes closing and head tilting forward, his head snapped back up a moment later, and if the other medic hadn't had his head stabilized he would probably have mild whiplash.
"Stay awake for us, Quinn. Is Y/n someone you'd like us to call?"
You spring forward at the mention of your name, "I'm here," you say, pushing past a couple of people who are standing around, ready to assist if the situation gets worse.
"My girl" Quinn slurs, his lips tilting into a small smile. Your heart flutters at that. In the midst of his delirium, he still cares about you dearly.
"Hello Y/n, I'm Sam," the guy who's been asking him questions, "and that's Kieran," he says, nudging his head towards Kieran, who gives a small smile.
"Do you think you could help us remove his equipment?"
"Yes absolutely, just tell me what to do" you say, glad that you can help.
"Can you remove his jersey and shoulder pads? Kieran needs to keep his neck stable, and I need to check for any other possible injuries. And keep him talking"
"Yeah, of course," you start by bending his elbow to slide it out of the sleeve of his jersey.
"Hey Quinny" you say softly, sliding his other arm out of his jersey "you played really really good today, I'm so proud of you"
"Thanks baby," he murmers, "glad you're here." He tries to lean his head against your chest, he huffs when Kieran doesn't let him, and you can't help but let out a breathy laugh, patting his head lovingly.
Kieran tilts his head to one side, allowing you to pull the jersey over his head. You deposit it in his cubby behind him and make quick work undoing his shoulder pads and pulling them off gently.
"I'm glad I'm here too. What do you wanna eat when we get home?"
Sam gently asks you to move out of the way so he can check Quinns upper body for injuries. The second you aren't doing something, the anxiety rises back to your chest. You take a deep breath and begin to unlace his skates. You pull them off, slipping a pair of slides on his feet so his socks don't get wet.
"Hmm" he hums in thought "potatos...?"
You laugh, "Alright Quinny. We'll have potatos"
Finally after palpating his whole body to make sure he doesn't have any other major injuries, testing his reflexes, and asking him a bunch more questions. They diagnose him with a minor concussion, and give you a list of things to look out for.
They deem it safe enough to leave you alone with him for a little bit and tell you to change him into something more comfortable. It takes a bit of work to take off his hockey pants and shinguards and get him into a pair of sweats and a hoodie.
By the time you're done, the equipment manager and the medics have collected the rest of his equipment. After making sure his hockey bag is fully packed with everything, you grab his keys from your purse, while the EM helps you bring his bag to his car, and the medic helps you half carry him down.
He can mostly walk on his own, but better safe than sorry. On the ride home he keeps his head resting against the window, a cool compress is wrapped around his neck, and he's holding one over his eyes with one hand, while the other holds yours tightly.
You trace your thumb over the backs of his knuckles soothingly and keep him talking the whole way home. "What kind of potatoes do you want when we get home, Hon?"
"Can I change my mind?" He asks sheepishly. He's still talking very quietly and slurring his words a little, but the medics said that was nothing to worry about unless he started getting worse. So far, it was nothing to worry about.
"Of course my love, anything you want" you bring your intertwined hands to rest on your chest. It's a comforting weight over your heart, that you didn't know you needed until it was there.
Your phone lights up from the cup holder, it's a text from Petey, saying that the Canucks won the game. There are a few other texts, from his parents and brothers. You make a mental note to reply to them as soon as you get Quinn settled at home.
"Can we have noodles?" He mumbles.
"Yes, of course, love." You can't help but kiss the back of his knuckles. Watching Quinn get injured to the point of losing consciousness was not something you ever wanted to experience ever again.
"Your boys won, by the way," you say softly.
"The did?!" Quinns head shoots up front the window, and he is filled with instant regret as a sharp twinge shoots down his neck and to his shoulder.
"Ow fuck" he mumbles, laying his head back against the cool window.
"Careful love," you gasp, squeezing his hand.
"I know, I'm sorry," he mumbles, squeezing your hand back. You sigh, you have been on edge since he got injured, and it didn't look like the anxiety would dissipate for a while. You would just have to deal with it and try not to be an over bearing worry wart.
"You guys won 5-2" you smile, finally pulling into your apartment parking lot.
"I didn't do much except get my brains knocked around" he grumbles. "Some captain I am"
You scoff, flicking him in the nose lightly. "Don't sell yourself short, Quinny. Three of those points are yours."
Quinn wrinkles his nose and leans forward to bite your finger. You yelp, snatching it away with a glare. He sticks his tongue out at you, and you laugh, your chest feeling a little lighter than before.
"Come on, let's get you upstairs. " You say, undoing your seat belt and getting out of the car. You run around to his passenger side and open the door for him, and help him step out of the car. He throws an arm over your shoulder, and you wrap one around his waist. He's not as wobbly on his feet as he was earlier, but he still isn't at full strength.
Quinn squeezes his eyes shut and tucks his face against your hair. The florescent elevator lights were not pleasant in his state. "Can we keep the apartment lights off?" He mumbles against your hair.
"Sure love," you said rubbing your hand up and down his back soothingly, "we're almost home," you fish the keys out of your purse and unlock it. You toe your shoes off at the door while Quinn slips his off easily and you guide him to the couch.
"What do you want first, baby? Food or a shower?"
"I'm not really hungry" Quinn mumbles, laying on the couch and adjusting the ice pack under his neck. You sit on the couch handle, stroking his hair back from his forehead. "I know honey, but we should try to get something light in your system, if you're feeling upto it."
Quinn sighs. He knows you're right. "I can make you toast? Or a sandwich or something?" You offer, smoothing your thumb over his hairline.
"Do we have bagles?" He asks
"Yeah, we have bagles, I'll make you one of those?"
"Yes please," he mumbles, you plant a kiss on his forehead and go pop a bagle into the toaster, "can you do it with cream cheese and jam?" He asks, chewing on his lip nervously.
"Sure, Hon, I'm gonna make myself some tea. Do you want a cup?" You ask as you pull the cream cheese and jam out of the fridge.
"No thanks, I'm ok" he mumbles. After his bagle is done being made, you help ease him into sitting position, and sit next to him with your cup of tea. He eats a bit more than half the bagle, and you finish off the rest before deeming it time to shower.
You remember all the messages from his family, and quickly shoot them texts, saying that he's ok and you just got home and you'll talk more when he gets settled.
"I'm gonna put these back in the freezer while we shower, yeah?"
Quinn nods, handing the ice packs to you to put in the freezer. You help him up slowly and lead him to the bathroom. You keep the lights off and leave the door open so you have a little bit of light from the bedroom.
While the shower warms up, you grab a clean change  of clothes for both you and Quinn and set them on the counter before helping Quinn strip. He has to brace an arm against the wall while you hold him steady with one hand and maneuver his clothes off with the other.
"I'm sorry," he murmers against your hair as you help him step into the shower.
"Oh Quinn, there's nothing to be sorry for," you say, sitting him on the shower seat.
"I'm sorry you have to take care of me like this." He huffs, resting his head against the cool Ike of the shower wall, "I feel so pathetic, " his voice cracks, and your heart nearly breaks.
"Quinn, my love, taking care of you is not a burden. It's a pleasure. I love you to the ends of the earth, and I would do anything for you, my sweets. " You kiss him on the forehead sweetly as if to prove your point.
He doesn't say much about it after that, but you can tell he still feels bad. You make quick work of washing his hair, being very careful of where a small bump has formed on his head. You scrub him down and rinse him off before shutting off the water.
You wrap a towel around yourself and then dry Quinn off gently before helping him change into his pajamas. "Let me change and then dry your hair a little bit before we have to put an ice pack on your head, ok?"
Quinn nods. He sits on the counter, leaning against the wall while you change into your pajamas. You plug in the hair dryer and dry his hair, keeping his head steady with one hand. As soon as his hair is no longer soaking wet, you help him off the bathroom counter and into bed. You grab the ice packs from the freezer and help him position them on his head and neck until he's comfortable.
"I'll be back in less than ten minutes, baby. I'm just going to grab your stuff from the car, ok?" You say pulling on a pair of sweats and a hoodie over your pajamas.
"Ok" Quinn mumbles, "I'll call if anything" he says patting his nightstand to make sure his phone is there.
You kiss him on the forehead and pull the bedroom door halfway closed so the light from the hall isn't too bright. Grabbing his car keys and your phone from the counter, you hit the call button on Ellen's contact as you slip out the door.
She picks up on the first ring "Hows he doing?" She asks immediately. She sounds distressed, maybe like she's been crying. You don't blame her. They probably haven't heard anything unless someone on the team contacted them, and you have no idea how bad it looked on TV.
"He's ok, Mrs. H, it's a mild concussion. His symptoms aren't worsening at all, and they said with some rest he'll be significantly better by tomorrow"
Her sigh of relief was unmatched. "He'll be out of play for a couple of weeks, but they just want to make sure he's back to 100% before he's playing again." The elevator finally opens, and you hit the button for the parking garage.
"Thank you so much, Y/n, im glad you're there with him. I know he's in good hands. I'll leave you be love, Jack and luke are super super anxious and would appreciate a call from you. Text me if anything happens."
"I will, Mrs. H, tell Mr. H I say hi"
"I will dear, thanks for taking care of our boy"
"Of course El, he's my boy too," you smile.
You swear you can hear Ellen smile over the phone. "We love you dear, I'll talk to you tomorrow ok. Don't forget to take care of yourself too"
"I will, I love you guys too. I'll text you updates"
"Alright, bye dear."
"Bye," you sigh, pressing the end call button, just as the elevator opens to the parking garage. As you press the button to open the trunk, you call Jack.
"Y/n,"  he huffs out, not even after a full ring. "How's Quinn? If he ok? What happened?"  Before you can answer any of Jacks questions, Luke's voice cuts him off, "is Quinn ok? Are you guys at the hospital? It looked really bad -"
Before their panicked tangents can get worse, you interrupt them both. "Take a breath, you two," you say calmly, breathing exaggeratedly so they can copy you "in and out, relax. Quinn is ok. He's ok"
"He's ok?"
"He's ok" you repeat. You feel the tears start to build, and your voice cracks "He's ok"
"Oh Y/n." Jack says softly.
"It's ok, I'm ok" you say, more to yourself than to Jack as you wipe the tears away. "Hold on, gimme one sec." You say, setting down your phone as you pull Quinn's hockey bag out the car. You close the trunk, make sure the car is locked and head back to the elevator.
"Hi, sorry I'm back. I was just grabbing Quinn's stuff out the car."
"Can you tell us what happened?"  Luke asks softly.
"He's got a concussion, and he's a bit bruised up, but other than that he's alright"
"Fuck, how bad is it?" Jack asks, the fear is evident in his voice, and you can't blame him. Concussions can be really bad sometimes.
"They said its a mild concussion, he's not throwing up at all, his memory is ok, he didn't injure his spine or anything, he'll be ok after a few days of rest. He probably wont be playing for a few weeks, but better safe than sorry."
"Oh thank God"  both Jack and Luke huffed "isn't he not supposed to sleep for 24 hours after or something?" Luke asks.
You shake your head with a small smile "Thats a myth, Lukey. As long as I check on him every few hours its ok for him to sleep."
"Ohh, ok. Well that's good" Luke says.
"We are glad he has you Y/n, thank you for taking care of our brother."
"Always" you say softly.
"We'll let you go now, keep us updated?"
"I will, Jackie. You two get some rest, you have a big game tomorrow, love you guys"
"We love you too Y/n/n" both boys say, hanging up.
You sigh, leaving his bag at the door. "Y/n?" Quinns weak voice calls out from the bedroom. You rush to him immediately, scared that something is wrong.
"Yes, Quinny, I'm right here" you say kneeling beside the bed, and stroking his hair.
"You took long," he mumbles, pressing his lips against your wrist.
"I'm sorry love, I'm here now," you stand, stripping the hoodie and sweats off and climbing into bed next to him. You stay a little distance away, not wanting to hurt Quinn. But he grumbles at you, tugging on your shirt to get you to come closer. Normally, he would just grab you and pull you closer, but he's still weak.
"I don't wanna hurt you" you mumble, scooting closer so that you are tucked against his side. He tangles your legs together and rests his head against yours.
"Never" he says, pressing his lips to the side of your head. You rest one of your hands on his hip, under his shirt, stroking your thumb over his hip bone.
"How you feeling?" You ask softly.
"Beat" he mumbles "thanks for taking care of me"
"I'll take care of you for as long as you let me love" you say, pressing a gentle kiss to the underside of his jaw.
"Forever?"
"Forever."
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Wc: 3.1k
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thatbitchery · 4 months
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& remember the first sign of a loser loser loser loser is hating school. Yall should've unfollowed me 2023 this year I'm laying it on you as is.
If you're not in some sort of murder level clas enroll right now. & it has to be so hard it feels like a death sentence
Ladies any form of "escape the matrix" and "you don't need school" & whatever school hating content out there is level down programming meant to keep you stuck and weak. School is the closest imitation to real life you get so dropping a class because it's too hard is your sign to tie yourself to your moms basement and never leave because you sure as heaven not making it in corporate, business, friendships, relationships, and, God Forbid, parenting. You Manifest a future as a stone because that's the most you can do with that mentality. Dropping out because you have anxiety is another great sign to move to the Amazon and cosplay a sloth because if you think there are human interactions in the adult world that won't make you feel anxious ahhh baby my baby. You got it so wrong, baby. If you can't focus in a 30 minute lesson just take your dream board & burn it up burn it upp and try your hand at being a house fly you'll have better luck. If you drop a class because you don't like the teacher stay as far away from romantic relationships and friendships and , especially, corporate & entrepreneurship because girly don't we have news for ya. Can't manage your time? And you want to be a CEO? Are you kidding?
School is the closest imitation to real life you get & the better you are at it the better you are at life, the harder your school life is the better your real life will be. & I mean take biochem engineering & aeronautical engineering first year college, get your ass run over by it BUT learn to sit still, to power through, teamwork, study techniques, etc so no one cares about your A [fun fact most A students don't make it] but did you power through it? K then junior year do the thing you actually like.
Not liking school for whatever reason is loser mentality if you couldn't make it past test drive what makes you think you'll make it on the highway. Back in high-school when I told my grandma I'm giving up on my scholarship because I'm getting bullied and tortured and ostracized her response wasn't a hug it was a slipper grandma of color style because do you think that won't happen in your adulthood? You think you run from a problem and it goes away? Go back in and make it tf. Notice how I'm not focused on what grade you get? My friend works at firm (one of the top of the country) that don't employ people with a history of As , it's not about academic excellence, can you get to cheer practise at 6 am and be in class by 7? What makes you think you can be a mom then? "Independent" can you schedule yourself? Manage classes, sports, hobbies, a part-time job, home chores , friendships, and free time? WHAT DO YOU THINK ADULTHOOD IS ABOUT? what makes you think running from that in school (where you have guidance & forced community) will keep you safe? Out here you're all alone sis. And now the government protects you like a treasure that ID days 18 and its up to you to protect yourself. If you can not sit still in a 30 minutes class you don't like what makes you think you're cut out for corporate? Yall ain't never left your moms house and it shows, no one that has been in the real world has that level of delulu.
Pick the damn calculus class & power from an E to a C- so when you're running your business & you meet hard things you dislike you have muscle memory to power through it & bc your business is something you like it's easier. Go to school with the girls that dislike you & find a way out of that so when your mom in law or officemates are being flaky you know what to do, you don't run. Sit through that class with that one homphobic sexist bigoted teacher so when you land a job at your dream firm you don't resign in six days and sabotage shit because you're delulu enough to think your little tantrum matters.
School , especially boarding school, is the closest imitation to real life you get. Power through it, take advantage of the resources & always chase the hardships now that you have people charged with guiding you so you're not 25 unmotivated with no accomplishment despite your A's , barely functional adult feeling like a loser because you let tiktok & escape the matrix bojo creators lie to you. Do you want to be one of those 35 year olds heavy on magical thinking because you didn't learn what your parents literally paid for you to learn under the guise of 'self care'. Don't be dumb dumb.
Success spills over
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munivrse · 7 months
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masterlist
dude finally i'm getting to this. hopefully this helps you guys navigate a little bit better!
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𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 Headcannons
bada + reader at the club
✮⋆˙ bada and reader go to the club, bada almost gets into a fight over her girlfriend
bada as your tall sexy dancer gf
✮⋆˙ here are some hcs of bada as your tall sexy dancer gf
bada + corruption kink!
✮⋆˙ gf! bada lee got a corruption kink fr and let me let yall ponder on this with me
experienced!bada + innocent reader
✮⋆˙ experienced bada tests the waters with you
˙whipped bada + oblivious reader
✮⋆˙ bada is your gf and you dont even know it
bada + idol reader
✮⋆˙ bada and her golden retriever, high energy, secret idol gf
𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 Text Series
texts with gf!bada
✮⋆ cw: really suggestive. bada just wants you to be a stay at home gf so please just quit your job for her
texts with gf!bada 2
✮⋆cw: its always gonna be suggestive idk what to tell yall tbh
˙texts with gf!bada part 3
✮⋆cw: mentions of baby making. drunk y/n...
texts with gf!bada part 4
✮⋆cw: not suggestive... actually theres some angst ☹️ but very very fluffy at the end :D
texts with gf!bada part 5
✮⋆cw: ....suggestive u know the deal. just crack texts idk really no like theme here. enjoy!
text pranks with gf!bada
✮⋆cw: slightly (and very slightly) suggestive i cant help it i want her to **** ** ***** * *** me so bad. enjoy
jealous bada lee texts!
✮⋆cw: jealous, possessive bada lee. she is so fine. i won't her 😍
reader reacts to bada's wkorea photoshoot
✮⋆ i cannot believe our tall sexy gf showed that much of herself to the world. i'm with reader on this one
𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 Full fics
Too close
✮⋆˙ c/w: angst. angry howl, homophobia, minor and very, very minor physical harm done to bada. closeted bada, out and proud reader. its alooooot of angst. some comfort at the end though so don't worry!
Luxurious
✮⋆˙ c/w: spoiled ass reader. down bad bada. suggestive. a little more than suggestive? not full on smut though. what does bada like more than checks? money!
My love is mine, all mine
✮⋆˙ c/w: severe anxiety/panic attack. bada comforts reader through an anxiety attack. bada best girl.
Attention
✮⋆˙ cw: bada accompanies you to your high school reunion. nothing too bad. actually, not suggestive! bada lee being fine as hell... y/n acting up per usual. really fluffy at the end. enjoy!
tell your friends
✮⋆˙ cw: requested! smut. full on. cunnilingus. strap/harness. possessive bada hitting it from the back 🧎‍♀️
takeout (on me)
✮⋆˙cw: pussy whipped bada lee taking you in several different positions. cannot get enough of the noises you make and how good she makes you feel. good god.
kissin' and hope they caught us
✮⋆˙ c/w: reader gets into their head alot, but bada is always there to reassure you.
water
✮⋆˙c/w: bath time with bada. aftercare bur bada is still h word on main. fingering, praise, and soft!dom bada.
Garden Kisses
✮⋆˙ cw: friends to lovers. a bit of angst in the beginning. cunnilingus. jealous bada. bada is bad at communicating feelings. some texts thrown in there. possessive bada. pussy drunk bada.
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who jerks off the most in zb1
Haobin x reader series
night routine with haobin waking up with haobin randon haobin + reader hc's zb1 being done with haobin + reader grossly domestic haobin + reader
Seok Matthew
matthew + doggy style soft dom matthew
Shen Ricky
eating you out after dinner what he's like during baby making
Zhang Hao
idol!reader accidentally turns him on riding hao's face
Sung Hanbin
angry hanbin
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enha as employees at my old coffee shop
Yang Jungwon
brat tamer jungwon
Lee Heeseung
8:16am
Park Jongseong
empty
Sim Jaeyun
quickie with jake certified munch makeup sex with jake 11:32pm certified munch #2
Park Sunghoon
making brownies with sunghoon sunghoon thinks you're pretty
Kim Sunoo
empty
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gentlebeardsbarngrill · 3 months
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01/19/2024 Crew Recap
TLDR; HoistTheAds; LubeAsACrew; CastAndCrew Reactions; Petition/Fundraiser Updates; TheCozyPirate Update; Taika Pictures; The back of Rhys' Naked Legs
Edit: Rhys put his reaction up after I had put this together and I missed it, see it here or on his IG while the Story is still up.
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There just isn't enough room on tumblr for the amount of crap that went down today, let me tell you.
Well, as many of you know, shit got real today with the #HoistTheAds campaign and #LubeAsACrew going live.
#HoistTheAds
Last night at 12 PM EST the 2 day , every 15 minute ad campaign that @renewasacrew set up with the money gathered from the ad fundraiser kicked off in timesquare. You can still view them here Expect our ad every hour at :00, :01, :02, :15, :38, :42, :50
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Throughout the day you could see the plane messages:
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The Trucks went by!
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And probably the most exciting things were the reactions from the cast and crew over the billboard!
There were a LOT of reactions so bear with me, there will be a lot of pictures. Chaos Dad David Jenkins, Kristian Nairn, Samba Schutte, Madeleine Sami, Samba Schutte, Leslie Jones, Vico Ortiz, Linds Cantrell, Alex Sherman, Eroll Shand, David Fane and many more. Some sent messages, some just emojis.
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One special one to point out was David Fane's adorable reactions:
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Some good news too, apparently Chaos Dad was able to actually go to Time Square and see the billboard, but wasn't able to interact.
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#LubeAsACrew
Then there was this crazy thing... LubeAsACrew, where the Social Media person for Astroglide did a simultaneous watch with everyone on twitter. Then live-tweeted the episodes. Some of the stuff that came from it.. was unhinged and so much fun. There was too much to get into so I'm just including some highlights, feel free to check out the thread here:
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==== Articles ====
The billboards obviously got a lot of attention of the press because the amount of articles out today are nuts:
PinkNews: Our Flag Means Death fans buy huge Times Square advert to demand its return
Pride.com: Our Flag Means Death fans buy Times Square billboard to save the show
Them.Us: Our Flag Means Death Fans Bought a Billboard in Times Square to Demand Renewal
TV Insider: ‘Our Flag Means Death’ Fans Take Renewal Campaign to Times Square — David Jenkins Reacts
Gay Times: ‘Bracing for battle’: Our Flag Means Death fans rally together for season 3
Now This News: Its Flag Meant Death: The Uncertain Reality for Queer-Driven Shows in the Streaming Era
Popverse: Our Flag Means Death fans launch Times Square billboard (and more) in series renewal campaign
Marysue: ‘Our Flag Means Death’ Fans Have Really Made an Impression With This Effort To Save the Show
The Geekiary: Fans Fight To Save Our Flag Means Death From Doggie Heaven
==== Impacts / Stats ====
=Petition=
Up to 67K+! Holy crap yall! That's almost 7K today! Great job!
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=Fundraisers=
Renew As a Crew for Rainbow Youth has almost met the $17K Goal everyone! Almost there!
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OFFP Care for Gaza - up to almost $8300
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===Twitter Trends/Stats===
Twitter trends got pretty high with all the hashtags. I tried to get pictures at peak times but Im sure there were move, so take these numbers with a grain of salt, they were probably more!
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=== Hashtag Update ===
Looks like the hashtags today are the following, and as always emails, and instructions are here: #HoistTheAds #SaveOFMD #RenewAsACrew
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= Stuff I Dont Have Categories For! =
Just some more industry info from our local @TheCozyPirate
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And for whatever reason, Taika Archives came out with new Taika pictures today. So enjoy some black and white Taika.
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Wow I actually reached my picture limit on this one, that's crazy.
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Final note for the night-- I saw SO MANY OF YOU CALLING TODAY! And expressing your call anxiety and how you overcame it, and oh my gosh I just have to say you're all so friggn amazing! Stepping out of your comfort zone is scary as fuck and you did it anyway! Great job everyone! And if you haven't done so yet-- no worries, if you want to, you can, if you're not ready, that's okay too!
Other than that-- I've seen a lot of folks really taking a step back from the trolls and blocking/ignoring, great job all! Enjoy your celebration and happy times! Don't let the haters get to you. You are awesome and beautiful and we all continue to be so incredibly proud of this community! The Cast and Crew SAW you today as they have for days since all this started and they know we love them!
Now, I'll end with a picture of the backs of Rhys' legs (on the right) and a censored butt. Enjoy the muscles, I know I do.
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178 notes · View notes
fivestar-outlaw · 5 months
Text
New Horizons (Park Seonghwa) (Epilogue)
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Epilogue
Pairing: Park Seonghwa x Fem!Reader
Words: 7.0k+
Warning(s): Mentions of reader being anxious/having anxiety, some swears, drinking, i think thats it.
SMUT (18+) WARNINGS: Multiple orgasms, oral (F receiving)/ face sitting, slight cockwarming, birthcontrol used, No condom use, PiV penetration, cowgirl yeehaw
A/N: Fucking- Finally finished the epilog. Grad school is slowly but surely killing me rn. I only had time to write this during the undergrad class im taking for credits iubgouoren. I hope yall enjoy.
Reader is implied to be living in the US bc uh TIMEZONES ARE FUCKY and i didnt realize how reliant i was on mine (PST) when looking up KST
English dialogue is italicized, Korean dialogue is not
Summary: Attempting an all-nighter while playing Animal Crossing alongside your bias, you didn't expect your turnip prices to be such a high amount... nor did you expect Park Seonghwa to actually accept your offer to sell his turnips on your island.
Series Masterlist | Navigation
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You sat at your desk, phone set up for a video call with Seonghwa. You felt nervous. Tomorrow is your graduation, where you'll finally be done with this aspect of your life and will be moving onto the next step. Despite the distance, you and Seonghwa were as close as ever. You both missed each other dearly but talked as frequently as possible. 
You were a little sad that he and the rest of Ateez couldn't make it to your graduation, but you understood why. You didn't have much hope when you told Hongjoong the date and he told you he'd ask if they could. You tried to tell him not to ask since you knew they would be busy with an upcoming comeback, but he insisted he'd try. He talked to you the next night saying they had a packed schedule for that week and couldn't. You figured as much but it still made you a little sad.
You hear the tone for the video call and you quickly answer it with a smile. You see Hwa sitting there, but not in his room. You couldn't quite figure out where he was. He seemed to be wearing a loose sweater and a pair of glasses frames.
"Hello, jagiya." Seonghwa smiled sweetly, he seemed tired.
"Hello, love." You respond. "How are you? You seem a little tired."
"The week has been busy."
"Aw, I'm sorry. Are you currently at a schedule?" You tilt your head. You see him look off to the side. You can see that he seems to be hiding something, but you figure it was because he couldn't talk about anything specific related to any of the filmed comeback videos.
"Yeah, we are staying at a hotel. We are going to start filming soon." He sighs. "It was a last minute decision since filming took longer than expected yesterday. I wish I could tell you everything that went wrong but I can't."
"I'm sure it'll go better today, love."
 "Thank you, jagiya. But enough about me, jagiya, how are you? Are you excited for tomorrow?"
"A mix of excited and nervous. Excited to have my degree... nervous for whatever comes next. Nervous about walking across that stage to get that empty diploma case and not having a solid next thing waiting for me." You press your lips together and glance over to your cap and gown hanging in your open closet. The whole ordeal almost seems daunting now. "I've applied for jobs in my field but I haven't heard anything back... I doubt any will get back to me when I am fresh out of university."
"I wish I was there with you, (Y/N)." He looked into the camera with a concerned expression. "You'll exceed at whatever you do. I know you will. You are smart and very determined."
"It's probably just all the nerves." You chuckle weakly.
"Just know myself and the others are cheering for you, even if we can't be there. Which, we are still sorry for by the way."
"Don't worry about it. I'll have my family film my walk across the stage and we will take lots of pictures to send to you all."
"We look forward to it." He smiles. You hear a door opening and what you believe to be Hongjoong's voice. You couldn't make out what he said but you saw Seonghwa nod before hearing the door close. "Sorry, (Y/N), I have to go. We need to get ready for filming today."
"Don't apologize, love. You got this. I'm sure you will do great." You smile and you can just tell some of the stress he was feeling dissipate. 
"I love you, jagiya." He says softly.
"I love you too." There is some hesitancy to hang up but you bit the bullet and pressed the little red button on the call. You sigh, but feel lighter. It was like talking to Hwa helped calm your worries.
---
You stood with your family for a moment before you needed to join the rest of the graduating students. You stood with them in your cap and gown and a nice outfit underneath. You couldn't help but wring your hands together. You weren't necessarily nervous, but you did feel a little anxious from the excitement now. You felt you childhood best friend place their hand on your shoulder and they give you a calm smile.
"It's going to be fine, (Y/N)." They gently squeezed your shoulder. "I doubt you'll trip, so don't worry."
"Well I wasn't worried about tripping until now." You groan. "I'm not nervous. I just... can't stay still."
"Oh (Y/N), it's okay to be nervous." Your mother coos, rubbing small circles into your upper back. "Just think about the surprise we have planned for you."
"Surprise?"
"Hun, you weren't suppose to mention that." Your father chuckles. 
"I thought I told you all I needed was just a nice dinner at my favorite restaurant." You say softly. "I hope you didn't spend too much-"
"Don't worry about it. We wanted to get you something for such a big day." Your father grinned. You were going to argue back but heard the call for graduating students to start getting in place for the ceremony.
"Make sure to film my walk please!" You said and they nodded. Your family and your best friend gives you one last hug before you go to where you were supposed to, while they went off to grab seats.
You take a deep breath as you find your spot in line with the rest of your majors getting the same degree level as you and your roommate, who also was graduating alongside you. You smiled at some of your classmates you were friendly with and chatted with them. You were given a slip of paper with your name on it by one of your professors and you were left to wait for the ceremony to start. 
You felt your phone buzz under your gown. You were glad you picked something to wear underneath with pockets. You manage to get your phone out and you smile. All of Ateez were wishing you well and saying their congrats. San even sent a selfie of them all together, which they said was taken after they finished filming. You were glad they messaged you and made sure to tell them to get some rest since it was around 6am for them.
The line you were in started moving so you quickly put your phone away and started walking with your line. You can hear lots of chatter from other graduating students and could hear the chatter from people in the stands. You and the others stood still until you heard one of the deans call you guys to enter. You hear the crowd cheer as the graduating class enters the area. You tried to pinpoint your family and your best friend but had no luck finding them in the sea of people. You take your seat and wait for the rest of the graduate students to also take their seats as the stereotypical graduation march song plays.
The song ended when everyone was finished sitting down. Next were speeches by the college president, a provosts, and a dean whom you never personally interacted with, and then two professors spoke; one is the chair of your major which made you smile. Next were student speeches, neither person you recognized.
You gulp, watching as the rows ahead of you go up one by one as they were instructed by a professor to do so. There was the constant noise of clapping with each name, followed by a few people loudly cheering for whoever just got called. You clapped along as well, watching each person receive their diploma case from the college president and walk to the side to get their picture taken professionally.
Next thing you knew the people in your row started to stand. You quickly got to your feet and follow along to the stage. You wait, taking small steps as person by person hands over their name slip and walk the stage. You were getting closer and closer to the speakers stand.
Then, it's your turn.
You made conscious steps to the speaker, not wanting to trip. You hand them your name card and wait as the person ahead finished crossing the stage. The speaker smiled and read your name into the microphone. You start walking across stage to the president as the crowd clapped.
You hear loud cheers coming from the stand on the other side of the stage, more than what you were expecting from the three people there seeing you graduate. You finally see your parents and your best friend up on their feet, your dad and friend shouting loudly. But in the row in front of them, you see eight figures also on their feet shouting as loud as they can. Immediately you can tell it is Ateez. Even with face masks, different hats, and inconspicuous clothes, you could tell they were your boys. Plus, you can easily tell Wooyoung and Mingi's voices as they were the loudest and most distinct.
A large smile broke out on your face as you kept your tears at bay. You walked the stage with your head held high. You shook hands with the college president and took hold of the diploma case. You walked to the end of the stage and carefully took the steps down. You got your picture taken and you started walking back to your seat.
You look up at the stand when you heard your name shouted repeatedly by Wooyoung, San, and Seonghwa. Each member of Ateez waved as you walked by and you made sure to wave back. You felt pure happiness in the moment.
---
When the ceremony ended and all the graduates exited the way they walked in, you immediately started making your way outside. Your parents texted saying they were waiting for you by the large oak tree. You weave your way through the sea of students and their families as fast as you could. You could see the top of the tree but you knew the trunk was still some distance away from where the ceremony was held. 
You finally breach the crowd and see your parents, your best friend, and Ateez, along with their manager. They spotted you and called your name. You immediately quickened your pace.
Wooyoung held out his arms for a hug but you passed him and immediately clung to Seonghwa. The tears you held back immediately fell as you hugged him.
"Y-You're here! I can't believe you're here! Hongjoong said you guys were busy. You said you-" You rapidly spoke.
"Slow down, jagiya." Seonghwa chuckles. He held you tightly and rubbed your back. 
"Sorry, my love." You sniffle and look to his face. Despite the black mask covering his nose down to his jaw, you can tell he has a big grin on his face. He moves a step back from you, resting his hands on your jaw. The pads of his thumbs swipe away your tears gently. "I'm so happy to see you in person again."
"I'm happy too." He carefully guided you to turn around so he could move back in front of you, his back to the crowd. He pulls down his mask and leans in, his soft lips meet yours in a loving kiss. You couldn't help but smile against his lips as it felt like world around each of you melted away. You both slowly pulled away but kept your faces close. "Congratulations. I am so proud of you, (Y/N)." He whispers and kisses each cheek, making you giggled. 
"Congratulations, (Y/N)!" Wooyoung broke the moment of peace between you both as he pulled you into a big hug. You tilt your head back and laugh, all while there rest of Ateez swarmed you for their own hugs. Your face ached from how much you were smiling.
"Seonghwa contacted us a week after you had us do that video call with him." Your mother started to explain. You remember that day well, feeling nervous for your parents to meet your long distance, idol boyfriend. But they immediately loved him and exchanged contact information; mostly just in case you got in an emergency so they could inform him. Subsequently, of course, your parents met the rest of Ateez. "They wanted to surprise you and here they are."
"Sorry I lied to you, (Y/N)." Hongjoong laughed, his smile telling you he was anything but apologetic. "Yuhno suggested the idea of it being a surprise when I ran into him before I talked it over with our company. So really, blame him."
"Hey, you could of said no, Joong-hyung." Yuhno playfully glared then set his sights on Seonghwa. "Didn't you initiate the call with her parents?"
"Yes, but Sannie and Woo also sat in on the call too." Seonghwa shot back. The group delved into a big, non-serious argument of who is to blame for the lies. You shook your head with a chuckle and went to your parents.
"Thank you for arranging this." You hug them both tightly.
"Of course, (Y/N). We could see how happy you were when we met him and how yourself you were with the rest of the group, so we knew we had to put this together for you somehow." Your father had a big smile on his face, you could see tears in his eyes. "Oh, my child is all grown up..."
"I've been grown up, dad. Don't cry, you're going to make me cry again." You chuckle, feeling that sting of tears again in your eyes. You feel arms wrap around you from behind and you knew immediately it is Seonghwa. "Did you guys settle who's fault it is, love?"
"No, but it seems everyone puts the blame back on Hongjoong." He laughs. He smiles at your parents and gives them a polite bow of his head. The rest of Ateez joined back up with your parents and your best friend. They started discussing dinner plans, you jumping in when needed for translation help.
Your smile doesn't leave your face as you lean back into Seonghwa. You could have just cheap take out with everyone and you'd be happy.
---
You said goodbye to your parents and best friend when everyone arrived back at your apartment after dinner. They wanted to let you have some time alone with Ateez. Your parents managed to reserve a private space at a great restaurant ran by a friend of your mother's. The manager went to buy snacks and drinks for the rest of you guys for tonight at a near by convenience store.
"Wow you have a nice place, (Y/N)." Yeosang compliments as he looks at the various decorations and how you and your roommate placed the minimal furniture.
"Thanks, it was a collaborative effort with my roomie. Which, be as loud as you guys want. She won't be in for a few nights since she'll be staying with her family." You smile and turn go to put leftovers from dinner in the fridge, missing the way everyone looked towards Seonghwa. "How long are you here for?"
"Just the rest of tonight. We fly back early in the morning tomorrow. We may have pulled this off but we still have busy schedules coming up." Jongho answers.
"Sorry we can't stay longer." San sighs with an apologetic smile.
"No worries, I'm happy you guys made it for today." You grin and move to sit next to Hwa on the couch, immediately leaning against him. "So I take it you guys flew in last night? Is that why you were actually in a hotel, love?"
He chuckles and nods, wrapping his arm around your shoulders. His fingers gently traced patterns on your arm. "I'm glad we got to witness this."
"Of course, I'd do the same for you guys."
"Well, if you would..." Mingi smiles as he walks in front of you, holding out several small pieces of paper for you. You gingerly take them, and look at everyone with confusion and curiosity as they surrounded the couch. Wooyoung took his spot next to you and rested his chin on your shoulder, aka, on Seonghwa's hand.
"Oh my God." You gasp as you look at each paper. They chuckled at your shock. There were several plane tickets; one to South Korea, a round trip ticket to Japan and then back to Korea, and then one back home. The next paper was a pass for the waterbomb festival coming up.
"We will email you the actual virtual tickets soon." Wooyoung said with a big grin.
"A graduation present from us and our manager." Seonghwa kissed your temple.
"This had to be so expensive..."
"Don't worry about it at all. We didn't have to pay for the waterbomb ticket and we all chipped in for the flights." Yuhno said softly from behind the couch. You felt his hand pat the top of your head a few times. There was a knock at the door and the tallest went to open the door for their manager,  who came in with two, black plastic bags and one backpack. You quickly got up to your feet and approached him with a smile.
"Thank you for all you have done."
"I should thank you for helping me keep them in line." He chuckles and hands you the plastic bags. He walks over to the couch and sets the backpack at Seonghwa's feet. "Remember, we have a flight back to Korea tomorrow. Don't drink too much. (Y/N), drink all you want."
Some time passed and everyone was lounging around in the living room of your apartment. Mingi, San, and Wooyoung took over the couch. Jongho, Yuhno, Yeosang, and their manager sat in chairs from the small kitchen table. You, Seonghwa, and Hongjoong were sitting on the floor, all while everyone watched a trashy, American reality show. You were sitting between Hwa's legs with your back against his chest while he rested against San's legs.
You felt your phone buzz in your pocket. You fish it out and unlock it, seeing it was an email notification. You tapped the notification, though you didn't read what it was for, figuring it was a promotional thing or something. You looked up at the tv screen for a moment before taking a moment to read over the contents of the email.
Your eyes slowly widened with each line you read. You felt your heart flutter as you sit up straight. You felt Seonghwa's hands on your hips and he had a curious look on his face.
"(Y/N)? What's wrong?" He asks softly, trying not to draw everyones attention. He leans forward and you can feel his chest on your back again, his chin on your shoulder. You raise your phone screen up so he can have an easier time reading the email. You turn your head just enough to see his expression turn to one of shock. You felt him wrap his arms around your waist and hold you tight as a big smile broke out on his face. "Does... Does this mean...?"
"What's happening?" Sannie asked from the couch. He leaned forward as well and you pass him your phone. You can practically feel the excitement oozing from Seonghwa. San suddenly stood up, knocking into the eldest's back. He had a huge grin, his dimple prominent on his face. 
Wooyoung snatched your phone from San and you watched as his eyes scan over the screen. He then looks up at you with a big smile. "No way!"
"Care to share with the rest of us?" Mingi asked while Yeosang muted the channel. 
"Well-" San started to speak but then clasps his own hand over his mouth for a moment. He hands you back your phone and sits back down. He eagerly gestures for you to speak. You feel Hwa's hands gently squeeze your hips.
"A job I applied for contacted me and told me they were looking for fresh faces and say they see potential with my resume, my CV, and from my letters of recommendation." You beamed and everyone looked excited for you. A sea of congratulations soon followed. You kept your beaming expression and you see Hongjoong look at you.
"There is more, isn't there?" He asked, a smile growing on his face.
"The job is located in Seoul. And they are allowing me to start towards the end of the year to give me time to get my legal documents situated and to move." 
There was a moment of silence.
Then, your apartment became chaos with pure excitement. Seonghwa, Wooyoung and San already pledged themselves to help you find a place in your upcoming visit. Mingi and Yuhno express excitement for the prospect of staying over at your new place. Yeosang, Jongho, and Hongjoong already start to make plans for when you start living there. Everyone decides to have one more drink to celebrate, their manager unable to say no to such an occasion.
---
You give each member a hug as they are about to leave for the night, saying your goodbyes. You move to hug Seonghwa but he sidesteps you and moves to stand behind you. You give him a confused look while the others chuckle.
"I'm staying with you tonight, jagiya." He pecked your cheek. The others say goodnight, their manager telling him to be read by 7am, and they all quickly leave. Now, it's just you and Seonghwa. 
"That's why he brought a backpack for you." You laugh and turn to face him. You place your hands on the back of his neck and raise a brow. "You've been nothing but surprises today. I really do appreciate it." 
"Of course. I'd do just about anything for you." He smiles sweetly and leans in to kiss you. Unlike the other kisses you two shared today, this one was longer and more passionate. You can feel his lips move against yours as he swipes his tongue along your bottom lip. You smile against the kiss. Before you could part your lips, he pulls away with a flirtatious look. 
"I love you, love." He smiles at your words. He lifts his hand up and gently traces his fingers down the side of your face, sending shivers down your spine. His arms wrap around your body and he keeps you pressed against him.
"I love you too, jagiya." He brings you into another intense kiss, his tongue invading your mouth this time. You feel his fingers curl in against your back, all while your hands find themselves in his hair. He breaks the kiss once more but rests his forehead against yours. "Would you like to celebrate a little more? We don't have to go further than this-"
"I would love to." You grin. You move from Seonghwa's grasp and take his hand, pulling him to your bedroom.
The second you closed the door, Hwa is already guiding you to your bed. He lays you down on your back while he crawls over you, his lips pressed against yours. His hands grip your hips before he starts to slide them under your shirt. He shifts his leg, placing it between your thighs. His knee is just barely brushes against your core. His hands start to gently kneed your breasts over your bra.
Seonghwa starts to trail tender kisses down from your mouth to your neck. You smile at the affection and you place a kiss of your own on the top of his head. He smirked against your neck as he gently bites your skin. You feel him shift his leg that was between your legs, applying a small amount of pressure against your cunt. You let out a soft noise from the sensation and you can feel yourself growing wetter and wetter.
You move one your hands down to the growing bulge in his pants. Seonghwa chuckled and sat up, taking your hand off him.
"Tonight is all about you, jagiya." He smiled softly. He took hold of both your wrists in his hand and held them above your head. "Let me worship you."
You felt a pleasant shiver down your spine again and you nod. Hwa let go of your hands and began kissing your neck again. This time his kisses and bites to your neck were more intense. You knew for sure you would have a couple of marks there. He released his hold on your wrists but you kept your arms about head. Your body is completely at his mercy and that had you excited.
You felt him press his leg against your aching core again and this time you rolled your hips to seek pleasure, causing yourself to moan.
"Good, jagiya." Seonghwa chuckles as he moves his face by your ear. You feel his lips brush against your ear before he gently nips it. He sat up and helped you up as well.
He hums softly, tracing his nose along your face before he kisses you again. He gently nibbles your bottom lip and stares deeply into your eyes. Hwa licks his lips as he leans down and scans your body with his eyes. You feel his hand take hold of your shirt and slowly lift it up and off your body. His fingers nimbly unclasps your bra and he tosses it off your body. 
Seonghwa's hands caress and gently squeeze your breasts, the pads of his thumbs were on your nipples as he rubbed small circles with them.  He hummed with a smile. "I missed these."
You chuckle softly. "You missed my boobs?"
"Yes." He moves himself so his face his close to them. "I missed all off you, (Y/N). I missed your face, your touch, your taste... I missed seeing your smile in person, I missed hearing your laugh right beside me. I miss you."
"I miss you too Hwa." You give his cheek a tender peck. You bite your bottom lip as his hands still kneaded your breasts and his thumbs applied some pressure. "Luckily I got that job. I'll be a lot closer to you by next year."
"Still feels so far away." He whispers and starts kissing your chest. He bites the skin and sucks, doing this until he reached your nipples. His mouth encompasses the pebbled skin. You bring one of your hands up to his head and combed your fingers through his hair. He sucks and gently nibbles, his tongue rolling over your perked bud. He does this to both nipples for a few moments before pulling away, a line of saliva briefly hangs between his lips and your skin. "I want to try something, jagiya." 
"What do you want to try, love?"
"Would you want to sit on my face and let me pleasure you?" His question makes your face flush with heat. 
"You'd want to do that? Are-Are you sure you want me to sit on your face?" You can feel yourself getting more wet by the second.
"Of course." He smiles sweetly. He sits up straight so he can meet your eyes easily, his hands slide down and gently hold onto your hips. "Like I said, jagiya, I missed your taste and I think you will look breathtaking doing so... Do you want to try this out with me?"
"Then... I would like to." You bite your bottom lip and smile. His face broke out in a grin and he helped you off your lap. He moves to lay down as you slip off your pants and underwear. You move yourself up the bed near his head and carefully placed your leg on the other side of his head. His hands slid up from behind your thighs and your ass to hold your hips. You hovered over his face, looking down at him between your legs. You were a bit hesitant to lower yourself down though. "Are you sure-"
You didn't even get to finish your question when you felt Seonghwa pull you down to his mouth. Immediately his tongue went to work against you clit. You moan, one hand bracing yourself against the wall while you bury the fingers of the other in his dark hair. A vibrator certainly worked wonders, but there is something else about his tongue. He moved his up and down against your clit before moving it in circles clockwise.
"Hwa..." You say, almost sounding breathless. He simply hums and continues his ministrations with his tongue. He nuzzles his faces against your cunt and adjust his mouth so he could lap you up. Seonghwa's tongue briefly pushes against your clit and then you feel his lips wrap around your sensitive bud, gently sucking on it. Instinctively you bite your lip to hold back your moan, making him lightly slap your ass, not enough to hurt but to get a point across. He lifts you just enough to free his mouth so he could speak.
"You said your roommate is gone for the night?" He asks and you give him a quick 'yes.' You felt his lips curl into a smile. "Then don't hold back, jagiya. It's just us."
You feel his tongue move against you again in all the right ways, making you moan again. You didn't hold it back this time and you could tell Hwa is pleased with that. He shifted underneath you and he buries his face into your cunt, he continued to gently suck and swirl his tongue around your clit. His ministrations had you squirming, slowly rocking your hips against him, and you were making all sorts of noises. 
"Seonghwa..." You whimper. You speaking his name in such a manner had him groan in pleasure. You feel him shift yet again, his grip on your hips firm. His tongue is off your clit and you feel his tongue swirl around your entrance. He penetrates you and thrusts with his tongue while his nose brushed against your swollen bud. His mouth is working wonders on your and you can feel yourself getting closer to an orgasm. Hwa doesn't relent, keeping the pleasure going and keeping you relatively still with his hands holding onto your hips. "Fuck... Hwa I'm-!"
Your walls fluttered around his tongue. You feel your thigh muscles tighten and they press against his head. A loud noise of pleasure leaves your lips as you throw your head back. Hwa squeezes and lightly massages your hips as you climax, his tongue slowly slides out from your hole and gently licks your cunt. He waits a few moments before gently guiding you off his face. You lift a leg and sit next to his head, your back against your headboard. 
Seonghwa quickly got up, licking his lips clean of your juices though his chin and nose still shined with your climax. He sits next to you and his hands caress your legs. He smiles at you, a look of satisfaction on his face, while you came down from your orgasm. 
"You have a little something on your face." You giggle and gesture around your own chin and nose. He chuckles and you watch as he swipes his fingers over his skin and then lick them clean.
"Better?" He whispers with a slight smirk. You can tell he was trying to be sexy but he still had some of your cum on him. You giggle softly making him blush and chuckle.
"Here, hold on for a moment." You get up from the bed and head out of your room to your bathroom. You grabbed a clean wash cloth, dampened it with some water, and returned to your bedroom. You hand Seonghwa the cloth and he gives you an appreciative smile, his cheeks and ears dusted with a subtle pink. You sit back down as he cleans off his face. He sets the cloth on your nightstand and looks back at you.
You watch as Seonghwa gets off the bed. His eyes scan your body with a smirk. Slowly, he took off his shirt and slid off his pants and boxers. Both of you were completely nude and you can see just how turned on he is. Hwa gets back onto your bed and gets right up to you, his face mere inches from yours.
"I love you so much, (Y/N)." He whispers. His hand comes up and gently caresses your jaw and neck.
"I love you too, Seonghwa." You smile at him, your tone soft and full of love. He smiles back and presses his lips against yours. His kiss is tender this time around. His hand cradles the back of your head to keep you in place, but you know you don't want to pull away in this moment. Your fingers graze the skin of his bare chest. You slowly brought them up to his collarbones and then his neck.
"Hmm, I want to take this all the way, jagiya." He pauses for a moment as his eyes look down at your body and then back at your face. He smirks. "I want to hear all those lovely noises you make."
"If I get to ride you, my love." You say in a sensual tone. His smirk crumbles to a flustered look at your suggestion, but he still smiles regardless.
"Is that what you want?"
"Yes." You nod and he bites his bottom lip. Seonghwa moves and sits down, his back against the headboard now. You grin, moving to stand on your legs before you throw your leg over his lap, effectively straddling him. His hands are once again on your hips as he pulls your body against his. He has a lustful and excited smile on his face.
"Condoms? I brought some-"
"No, it's fine. I trust you and I'm still taking birth control." You smile.
You reach behind and grab the shaft of Seonghwa's cock. You carefully drag his tip through your wet folds to tease him a little. You line him up to your entrance and look at his face. He gives a small nod for you to continue and you do so. You slowly lower yourself down, languidly taking him inside you. You both let out a soft moans. You sat in his lap, your hands grip his shoulders, while his cock fully inside you and you take a moment to savor the feeling.
"Ah, you feel so good, jagiya." Seonghwa mumbles, his lips barely brush against yours. You can feel his hot breath but you didn't care. His eyes were half-closed as he stared deeply into yours. You can feel his hands caressing your hips, thighs, and ass. His length twitches inside and you can tell he is full of anticipation for you to start moving. Hwa gives you a sweet smile, which contrasts with the current, steamy situation. "Take your time. You have control right now until you want me to take over."
"Thank you, love." You whisper softy and peck his lips. You wait a full two minutes before you started moving. You take a slow and steady pace, your thigh muscles flexing as you raise yourself up and down on his cock. Seonghwa's hands firmly held your hips yet he made no effort to control your movements, he simply assisted you so you wouldn't be doing all the work. 
"This feels nice." Hwa murmurs and leans his head down, his lips pressing against your neck. You feel his teeth graze your skin and he gently nips at your neck.
"Feels s'good." You moan softly. You rock your hips at a pleasurable pace. It is a very sensual moment between you both. It was just you and him, nothing else mattered. He raised his head from your neck and pressed his forehead against yours. He looked at you with pure adoration and love. His hands slide to your lower back and then moved up to your shoulder blades. You feel his arms against your sides as he hugged you close to his chest. You still moved your hips at a slow pace. 
This is a moment of passion and pleasure, but also a moment of love and bliss.
You sunk all the way down on him and gently grind your hips against him, feeling pleasure come from your clit grazing his pubic mound. Seonghwa smiles at you, enjoying how you look getting yourself off on him. He kiss your cheek and his lips linger to you skin for a few moments. You feel his fingertips press into your back and rub small circles on your skin.
You returned to moving yourself up and down on his cock. You increased your speed, sometimes focusing on his tip and then rotating to taking him all the way. Regardless  of what you did, he was moaning and groaning at all your movements. His hands were back on your hips as you leaned away from him with your hands gripping his shoulders. You both wanted to see your faces.
You feel a coil-like sensation in your lower stomach as pleasure builds up again. Your breathing is harsh and deep, and you can feel your legs getting tired... but you wanted to keep going. Seonghwa could see and feel how you your stamina is waning. He smiles sweetly and leans forward to capture your lips in a passionate yet short kiss.
"Relax, jagiya." His voice is smooth and low. He holds your hips and stops your movements. Seonghwa then starts to thrust his hips up at a quick pace. A loud moan escapes your lips as you cling on to him. He leaned forward and nibbles on your neck while you feel one of his hands move from your hip to your pubic mound. Hwa pressed his thumb over your swollen clit and started rubbing circles.
"O-Oh, Hwa..." You whimper out. You feel that heat building up more and more inside you.
"Hng- You're amazing, (Y/N)."He moaned as well, moving his head away from your neck to stare at your face. You can see he was getting close to his own release by the erotic expression on his face. 
"I-I think... I'm going to cum again." You whisper, feeling that all too familiar feeling crawl up your legs. You looked at him with all the love you could muster. The intimacy and intense feelings all added to your impending orgasm. The way the head of his cock hit that sweet spot inside you just right and his thumb swirling and applying the correct amount pressure sent you over the edge. You lean forward with your forehead against his as a loud whine leaves your mouth, your walls fluttering around his cock.
"(Y/N)-!" He groaned, still thrusting into your cunt. He stared intensely into your eyes, chasing his own climax. His breathing grows ragged and his thrusts became off rhythm. A moan tumbles from his lips as he sloppily kisses you, thrusting one last time. You feel his cock twitch inside you as his cum coats your walls. He keeps himself fully sheathed inside you as you both catch your breaths.
"Seonghwa..." You murmur, your body slumping against his, resting your head on his shoulder. His arms wrap around you and his hands gently grip the skin of your back. You feel his warm breath fan over the back of your neck as he leveled out his breathing. Seonghwa made a noise that sounded like a mix of a sigh and a moan as he rests his head against yours.
Neither of you said anything further. Seonghwa keeps his arms tight around you while you equally clinged to him. Nothing really needed to be said in this moment, the high emotions you both shared spoke enough.
Minutes passed when you finally speak up.
"We should probably clean up and get you to bed." You whisper to him, pulling your head back to look over this face.
"I want to stay like this, jagiya." He murmurs, placing his lips on your neck. "I feel so close to you like this... "
"I know, love, but we have to be up early." Hwa groaned at this, which makes you laugh.
"Stop being right."
"Come on... let's take a shower, Hwa." He reluctantly helps you off his lap, his softening length now out of you. You both get off from your bed and you lead him out your room to your bathroom. His hands remained on your waist as you both walked and then waited for the shower water to warm up. He didn't want to let go of you just yet.
After the shower and after drying off, you both go back into your room to change into comfortable clothes to sleep in. He laid down first, slipping under the covers. When you joined him, you laugh when his arms pulled you flush against his body. Seonghwa tucks your head under his chin and he holds you firmly in his arms. You chuckle and hold him just as tightly.
"I don't want to let go of you again... this feels like it's going to be harder than when you when you visited." He says with a sigh.
"I know, Hwa, I know." You mumble, already feel an ache in your chest. "Let's savor the rest of tonight together."
There is a pause.
"I love you, (Y/N)."
"I love you too, Seonghwa."
Morning came too fast your liking. You and Seonghwa awoke with your limbs practically tangled. His warmth despite the temperatures warming outside is comforting in the moment. You both reluctantly got dressed and made Hwa a light breakfast.
A little before 7am, Ateez and their manager came back over to pick Seonghwa up and of course came to say goodbye. You got an earful of teasing when they see the blemishes and marks Hwa left on your neck. You hugged each member and of course your hug lingered on Hwa, with you both gently caressing each other's backs for comfort.
Goodbyes were harder this time around, but you still had that ray of optimism due to your move to South Korea. It will be rough, but with Seonghwa, the rest of Ateez, and even their manager, you knew it would be a feat you'll overcome.
Your new horizon awaits you and your life with Seonghwa seems to be on the right track.
------------
Taglist: @stopeatread @hee0soo @tridkeys @pocketjoong-reads @seonghwaddict @lelaleleb @acciocriativity @h-nji
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msallurea · 9 months
Text
Things I'm manifesting
-Everything from my notes/Dream life (this just basically everything😭)
-Dream face
-Dream body
-Lighter prettier eyes
-Caramel brown skin (think goldenbih)
-Being 5'1 in a half + weighing 110lbs
-Smaller prettier feet, hands, toes, nails
-3b curls/perfect hair
-Lighter hair with caramel highlights
-Freckles + Beauty marks
-Natural makeup appearance
-Dream wardrobe/Fashion/Aesthetic
-Dream mansion + living in luxury city
-Being famous/celebrity/superstar/popstar
-Desired talents/talented at everything
-Being an it girl + sex symbol + muse + vixen (yall get it 😭)
-Being master manifestor + perfect pretty self concept (even tho technically I already am this its just like why not? Ya know😭)
-Dream parents/family + Being an only child (I'm sick of this sibling shit 😒) + radiate and embody hot older sister energy (just cuz I don't wanna be a older sister no more doesn't mean i dont still want the energy😭)
-Prettier handwriting +top notch writing skills/communication skills/over the top intelligence/stupidly high IQ(basically just the brainsy gyal)
-perfect 50/50 HD eye sight + looking hot asf in any pair of glasses (I wanna not be blind but still be fine)
-Prettier whiter teeth and pinker tongue and gums and just dental/mouth in general + OP top notch hygiene skills (I feel people who have bipolar depression understand this part)
-better mental health + no mental health issues + no anxiety/fearful etc
- balanced hormones + increased estrogen(as a girl I have wayy too much testosterone n I've been insecure about it for years)
-perfect coochani + OP coochanini skills (ummm so this is just self explanatory but honestly if yk yk 😭)
-Naturally smell like my desired scent (which is basically like a bakery n just so deliciously annoyingly sweet and seductive; but remember how I said I have too much testosterone gor my body to handle yea..ifykyk😭)
-No more sweating (I don't sweat excessive I just hate it period)
-top notch crystal clean health + no more constipation + no longer pooping n its healthy (ik somebody gon question me but those who suffer from severe constipation especially for me its been my whole life u understand where I'm coming from)
- desired voice + accent + unique lingo n slang etc
-Desired personality + persona + aura + vibe etc etc
-super flexibility skills
-unbearably photogenic videogenic audiogenic + always looking perfect naturally
-Desired school, friends, lover, etc + school it girl
-Speak/know already desired languages
-drivets license, car, motorcycle, etc etc
-Be intimidatingly wealthy (when I say wealthy I mean WEALTHYYYYY) + come from a family of aristocrats + wealthy generational family in general (yall know what I'm tryna say) + luxury etc etc
-Revised life and childhood
-Dream singing + rapping skills + song writing etc
-Good in all sports like frfr just good at everything (basically the perfect it girl)
-Be a Gazillion times better then Kokomi teruhashi (not tryna be self centered i promise🥲)
-Perfect life + graduation + live teenage fever dream
-Bald, completely hairless body and face (but keeping my brows, lashes and scalp hair)
It's more I just can't think of it rn but this is all I will be manifesting
How will I manifest all this?
So for me I'm not really tryna overcomplicate any more I'm just gonna go straight back to the basics n apply what I know which is choose what I desire, affirm/assume its done and persist. I already overconsumed so much and at this point it's a waste of time. I'm not really tryna do no challenges I'm just gonna focus strictly on trusting and having faith not just in myself but my imagination and subconscious thats its done n taken care of, I'll give yall updates on anything that happens soon! I love you guyssss💗💗💗
Affirmations I'll be using
-I have all of my desires from my notes
-I am living my dream life
-it is done
-I choose to live my new story, my old story no longer exist
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strniohoeee · 6 months
Note
helloo I have a Chris request. Y/N and Chris are dating. One night at the triplets place after smoke sesh, they go up to the kitchen to make food, while the pasta cooks they start making out and Chris eats her out, they end up having sex on the table.
Cinnamon
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Pairing: Chris Sturniolo X Female Reader
Synopsis: Y/N pops the triplets cherry for smoking weed, she smokes with them. Things are going good till Chris begins to feel some type of way🥀
Warnings⚠️: Uhhh smoking weed, and smut that’s about it! They was high and they was fuckinnnn🗣️
Song for the imagine: Ice Cream- Raekwon, Ghostface Killah, Method Man, Cappadonna
⚠️This a 18+ imagine, so minors do not interact, or do??⚠️
Back to You Maybelline Queen let’s make a team
You can have everything in this world except CREAM
I wouldn’t classify myself as a heavy smoker, but I liked to get high here and there. When I became friends with the triplets I was really scared to tell them thinking they’d judge me, but they didn’t care
I never smoked around them….was I high around them uhhh that’s a different story. I never offered them to smoke with me, or forced them. After a while they did start to get curious about what it’s like to be high
Tonight we planned to have a sleepover where we’d all smoke, and I’d babysit them to make sure they were okay. I had a medical card so my weed was great. I brought two joints both a hybrid of Indica and Sativa, my favorite.
Hybrids are the best to me. I feel good, relaxed, no anxiety. I get the munchies. I'm always laughing, and then I have the best sleep ever. Everyone’s first time smoking is different, but I believe depending on who you surround yourself with will determine if you’ll be good or anxious.
I absolutely hated blunts, the tobacco leaves always making me sick and giving me the worst high of my life, so I would never do that to them.
I had gotten to the triplets house two hours ago, and we ate pizza and watched movies before we decided to smoke. I wanted their stomach full, and I wanted them to be calm
“Alright are we ready” I said grabbing my tin can with my joints in it and wiggling my brows
“I’m so nervous, but I’m ready” Nick said
“It’s fun trust me, and if anything yall will get super tired and knock out” I told them
“I’m readyyy” Matt said standing up
We went outside to their yard and sat in a circle
“Alright let me lay down some facts and some rules” I said as I took the first joint out and closing the can
“One pull per person…you want to ease into the high, we rotate it counterclockwise and try not to have it unravel” I said to them
“YES” they said saluting me
“Also when you inhale try not to inhale too much because you will cough, and it will fucking burn” I said laughing
“I mean yall never done this, so you will cough” I said laughing
“Show us how it’s done” Chris said
“Oh another thing….not to be weird, but smoking weed can make you super horny” I said laughing and grabbing my lighter
“OH GOD” Nick said
“But it’s not always, everybody’s different” I said as I lit the joint
I watched as it lit up, and I took a pull. Letting it into my lungs before breathing it out
“See very simple” I said looking at them
“Alright Chris you’re up” I said passing it to Chris on my left
He brought the joint to his lips and pulled, inhaling it into his chest and then exhaling
“Not too bad” he said passing it to Nick
Nick grabbed the joint, and inhaled….A BIG INHALE
“OH MY GOD” he said as he blew the smoke out and started to cough
“Nick that was too big” I said laughing at him, and he just kept coughing and taking a sip of his water
Matt inhaled, and exhaled nicely
“Nick you’re a pussy that wasn’t bad” Matt said as he passed the joint to me
Within 10 minutes we finished the joint, and I could tell they were all high, but I’m sure they didn’t feel it
“Yall are so fucking high” I said looking at them
“I am not” Chris said as his eyes were droopy and half lidded
“Yeah you are trust me you’ll feel it” I said laughing at them
Within 15 minutes they were so fucking high
“Nah this shit is too good” Matt said
“I told you it’s so relaxing” I said
We all started talking and laughing at everything
“Are my eyes open?” Nick asked me
“Yes” I said laughing at him
“Are you sure? Because they feel closed” he said
“They’ll feel like that but they are open I promise” I said to him
We were all talking so slow, and it was the funniest thing ever
“Yo I’m so fucking glad we got high together” I said to them
“Me too this is so much fun” Chris said
About 20 minutes later I was hungry
“I’m hungryyyy anybody want pasta?” I asked
“YES OMG YES” Nick said
“Chris come with me” I said and grabbed him
We both walked back into the house as Nick and Matt stood outside
I grabbed the pot, and put water to boil
“I need salt” I said to Chris
“It’s up down there somewhere” he said blinking slowly
“That wasn’t English” I said laughing
“Sorry it’s there” he said pointing to the table
I grabbed the salt and salted the water waiting for it to boil
“I’m so fucking horny” Chris randomly blurted out
“I told you it could happen” I said looking at him
“Like I have never felt my dick this hard” he said adjusting himself
“Alright horn dog” I said laughing at him
“Sorry” he said laughing
I put the heat down, so it wouldn’t boil too fast and put the pasta in
“I need to bust a nut or something because this is crazy” Chris said sitting down at the table
“Go take care of yourself” I said shooing him
I heard Chris get up, but I didn’t hear him come up behind me. He grabbed me by the waist
“Mmm or you could help me” he said
“That does sound fun” I said turning around to look at him
He immediately smashed his lips to mine, and we began to make out, him pushing me up against the stone slightly
I lost my footing and placed my hand on the stove, accidentally touching the heat level and putting it up without realizing
“Come on baby let me eat your pussy” he said
“Chris you’re dirty” I said smacking him playfully
“Come on” he said and pulled me over to the kitchen table
I sat down, and he slowly removed my sweatpants and my underwear
“Gonna be a good girl for me?” He asked
“Always Chris” I said to him
He got down to his knees, and opened my legs pulling me forward slightly
“Such a pretty pretty pussy” he said looking up at me with droopy eyes
“Fuck Chris” I whispered
He leaned down, and licked a strip up from my entrance to my clit
“Shit” I said shuddering and placing my hands in his hair
He started to lick my clit, and running his tongue from side to side and up and down
“FUCK” I yelled out as my thighs clamped around his head
As he was licking down his nose was bumping into my clit
“Mmm right there baby” I said kind of grinding on his face
He came back up, and started sucking my on clit harshly
“CHRISSSSSS” I moaned out throwing my head back
He pulled away from my pussy. My arousal covering him nose, mouth and chin
“I wanna fuck” he said standing up
“So fuck me then” I said biting my lip
In an instant Chris slid his pants and underwear down to about mid thigh. Swiping his hand on my pussy and using my arousal and his saliva as lube as he stroked his dick
“Ready baby” he asked
“I’m ready” I said
He spat on the head of his dick, and rubbed it against my pussy up and down, slowly pushing the tip in
“Shittt” we both moaned out
Chris bottomed out, and then began to move thrusting in and out at a good speed
“Fuck this feels amazing” he moaned out
He started to pound into me, grabbing my thigh and hooking his arms under them as he pulled me even closer, and started to fuck into me
“FUCK CHRIS OH MY GOD” I yelled out gripping onto the table
“Come on baby come on” he said as he kept pounding into me
The table was taking a beating…I’m sure it wanted to collapse on us
He brought his hand down to my clit and started to rub
“I know you’re close, come on baby milk me” he said pounding into me harder
“You’re so dirty I love it” I moaned out
Chris hips smacked into me three more times before I felt myself coming undone
“FUCK FUCK FUCK” I yelled out and came all over his dick, my thighs shaking and my back lifting off th table
He let me ride out my high before he pulled out of me, stroking his dick before high jaw went slack and he came on my lower stomach
“Fuck that felt amazing” he said trying to catch his breath, and picking up his pants
“So fucking good Chris” I said as I sat up and jumped down to pick up my underwear and pants from the floor
All of a sudden we heard water beginning to overflow and saw steam
“Oh shit the pasta” I said scurrying over to the stove and shutting the water off
Chris came over laughing, and grabbing a wet paper towel to clean his cum off of me
“Thanks baby” I said kissing his cheek
“Anytime” he said winking at me
I put my underwear on and my pants, and Chris and I washed our hands
We drained the pasta and suddenly Matt and Nick bursted inside
“WHERE THE FUCK IS THE PASTA” Matt yelled walking into the kitchen
“Perfect timing! Now we just need to heat up some sauce” I said to them
“Yay I’m so hungry” Nick said sitting at the table
Matt went to sit where we just fucked, and forgot to clean up
“I WOULDNT sit there” I said yelling the first part
“What why?” He said getting scared
“Chris already claimed that spot, and he tried to kill me when I said I wanted it” I said lying through my teeth
“Oh! Okay” Matt said walking back to sit by Nick
We finished making the pasta and we all sat and ate it. Laughing and talking, and eventually Nick and Matt fell asleep on the couch, so Chris and I cleaned the kitchen and table, and put the food away
We covered Nick and Matt in blankets and shut off the lights, and then headed to Chris room to watch tv and fall asleep
The End
This was my last request and I loved doing them, but now I can’t wait to start writing my ideas🤭🖤Dude thank you so much for 407 followers🥹🫶🏽🫶🏽 I just had 300 something this is amazing
-J💅🏽
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coupsie-daisies · 7 months
Text
Kinktober '23: Virginity | Min Yoongi
Pairing: GN!Reader x Min Yoongi
Genre: Smut (minors DO NOT interact), Kinktober 2023
Summary: You finally tell Yoongi, the guy you probably shouldn't be fucking around with, that you're a virgin. Nothing could have prepared you for his reaction.
WC: 2.3k
Warnings: Reader is described having a vulva and breasts, but uses gender neutral pronouns, virginity loss (a dumb construct), unprotected sex, mentions of alcohol consumption, marijuana mention, fingering, Yoongi has a dirty mouth and a bit of a possessive streak, creampie, soft Yoongi
A/N: Here we go, kinktober day 1!! Hopefully yall like it, and forgive me if I fall behind schedule. Let me know if you'd like to be added to the taglist for my kinktober fics
Tags: @dragonofthenorth0726 // @wooyussy // @burningupp-replies // @bunnypig18 // @decaffedthoughts // @brownieracha // @ferrethyun // @snow-pegasus // @wonuqrtz // @mixling-blog
Main Masterlist
Kinktober '23 Masterlist
This fanfiction is property of @/coupsie-daisies, reposting on any other platform is prohibited
You felt ridiculous underneath Yoongi, the thought clouding your mind as you kissed him, as his hands pushed up your shirt to expose more of your stomach for him to touch. And the worst part was that you felt even more ridiculous for thinking about it so much.
You had been fooling around with Yoongi for a couple of weeks now. You'd met at a party one of your older friends had invited you to, and you knew Yoongi by reputation only. He was a bit of a fuckboy, he'd slept with plenty of people and made quite a name for himself as an 'experience'. It was actually a little terrifying the way people talked about him, like he was something everyone had to experience.
But he'd been kind when you'd met him, introduced by your friend Hoseok with a request to help keep an eye on you. You'd been offended, actually, at the implication that you couldn't look out for yourself. But having Hobi's friends around to keep an eye on you had actually been quite nice, eliminating the need to socialize with strangers and all that. Yoongi had kept a drink in your hand, though sometimes swapping it out for water when he'd decided you should slow down, and eventually you ended up sitting on a couch, sidled up to him as he smoked up with his friends.
The first time you kissed Yoongi he was high, and you were maybe a little more tipsy than you should have been. But it was the start of something great. You and Yoongi were friends, maybe not the closest of friends but he wasn't a stranger. You felt safe with him, and you could go to each other with your needs. Any needs. Which was how you ended up under him now, his fingers rubbing firm, fast circles against your aching clit.
"Yoongi, please," You whined. He smirked, and you cursed him silently because you really did understand why everyone was obsessing over his skills.
"Please what, pretty baby?" He asked, leaning down to kiss your throat, and you huffed.
"Please, wanna cum. That's what you came over for, right? To get me off, help me destress." You were being annoying, you were sure, but you didn't care in the least. You just wanted to get off, and Yoongi had promised to help you relax. But instead he had you winding so tight you thought your muscles would tear.
"Not gonna make you cum on my fingers, baby. You want to be fucked stupid, right? Don't wanna think anymore? Gonna make you all dumb on my cock instead."
His words sent a rush of arousal through you, wetness dripping out to slick onto his fingers. But even so, he stopped, feeling the way you tensed under him. His fingers were slower now, barely giving you anything as he pulled back and gave you a questioning look.
"You don't want that?" He asked. You and him had never gone that far, sticking to dry humping or going down on each other, sometimes he'd slide his fingers into you, but that was different.
"No! I mean, I do! It's just..." You squirmed, blinking away your building anxiety. Yoongi stopped entirely, sitting back to give you space to breathe, but the distance only made you feel naked, much more exposed than you would have liked.
"You know you can tell me. We communicate. I promised to take care of you, I'm still gonna do that." He promised you, and you fought off a small, surprised expression. You hadn't imagined he'd taken it that seriously back then, let alone now.
"I'm a virgin." You said finally, avoiding his eye. There was quiet, and you squirmed before Yoongi was towering over you, his hand gripping your chin to lift your gaze back to him.
"You've been letting me play with you all this time, and you just weren't gonna tell me that?" He asked, his thumb tracing over your lower lip. You could swear his gaze was only getting more intense, and you swallowed.
"It's embarrassing," You admitted. He huffed out a tiny laugh, his eyebrow quirking upwards in the way that always had you going a little bit feral.
"Embarrassing? What about me being able to ruin you for any other man is embarrassing, pretty thing?" He asked. You felt a quiet squeak slip past your lips. You quickly regained your confidence though, not wanting to give him the upper hand.
"So you wouldn't be able to ruin me for anyone else if I'd already slept with another person? Good to know," You teased, lips curling into a troublesome grin. He rolled his eyes, tongue poking at the inside of his cheek. Then his lips were pressed to the sensitive spot just under your ear, his tongue dragging over it before sucking hard. Your body pressed closer towards his, rolling into the warmth that washed over you.
"Oh, baby, I already have." He whispered, his attention trailing further down your neck, leaving tiny bruises that you knew would bloom bright overnight. Your fingers laced through his hair, tugging lightly as a silent plea for him to leave his teasing and move on. He groaned quietly, not seeming to want to wait either.
He sat back, taking a minute to admire you as if he hadn't seen you laying naked beneath him more times than he could count on one hand. You felt a new wave of arousal rush through you under his attention. His hands brushed your stomach, sliding up to cup your tits, thumbs brushing in feather-light touches over your nipples as if he would hurt you if he touched them too firmly. You released a breathy moan, your eyes shutting as you basked in the attention.
"Gonna make you feel so good." He said, quietly enough that it was almost like he was talking to himself, but you knew better with the way his hands lowered down to knead at your thighs, feeling the soft plush flesh under his fingertips before pushing them wider apart.
You were entirely exposed to him, and even though he'd touched you just a little while earlier, this felt so much more intimate. His fingers slid easily through the wetness leaking from your hole, teasing you with slow, careful touches before sliding two into you, scissoring them and curling them carefully. His eyebrows were furrowed as he focused on the slide of his fingers inside your pussy, his tongue poking against his bottom lip. The attention had you hot all over and you squirming which only forced his fingers to prod a little harder against that spot you loved. You keened, his name on the tip of your tongue but coming out instead as a long whine.
"Please, need you. Don't wanna wait anymore. Waited forever." You huffed. He smiled, a genuine, brilliant smile as his thumb flicked over your clit. And then, finally he was pulling his hand away, maneuvering the two of you with gentle touches until he was settled between your legs, the tip of his cock nudging against your folds.
"Say it again," He requested, the head of his aching length running teasing circles around your clit. "Say you need me, tell me how bad."
"Yoongi," You huffed, and he dipped his cock ever so slightly between your swollen pussy lips, laying enough pressure over your entrance to make you choke on your complaints. Any shame or frustration gave way to pure desperation to feel more of him, to be full of him, surrounded by him. "Please, I need you. Need you so bad I could cry, want you to be my first, want you to take me."
Your words made him hiss, his hips pressing carefully forward, nudging his cock into you inch by inch. You tipped your head back against the pillows, your back arching off the bed and pushing you closer to him, needing more of him, needing him closer. One of your hands scrambled to find his waist, pulling him down closer to you. He didn't hesitate to give in, lowering himself until your chests were pressed together, his face tucked into the crook of your neck and his hips continuing their slow, steady roll against yours. It was another few moments before he was fully sheathed in your tight, wet warmth. His weight rested on his forearm beside you, his other hand gripping at your hip, thumb tracing over the curve there.
"Feel so fucking perfect wrapped around me, shit," He grumbled, voice muffled against your skin, but you heard them all the same, your walls fluttering around him as you tried to get used to the feeling of having him inside of you. He was definitely hitting places you'd never felt before, stretching you out more than his fingers ever had and making the fire in the pit of your stomach burn hotter, the flames consuming you and turning your inhibitions to ash.
"I need more. Fuck me, baby, please. Can take it." You begged, your fingers stroking through his hair again. He shifted, the movement pulling him out of you, and you almost sobbed when he rolled his hips back to draw most of the way out before sliding back in with ease. The rolling thrusts of his hips were slow, easy, and you melted into them. You tugged at his hair with one hand, the other dragging your nails against his waist, pulling him impossibly closer until you were breathing him in.
"Can't believe I haven't done this yet." He mumbled, sucking at your shoulder until a pretty little mark was left in his wake. "You're fucking made for me, built for my dick. Never gonna let you go. All mine, gonna take such good care of you."
He was almost as fucked as you were, his breath coming out in pants as his hips sped up. He slid his hand down, pulling your thigh up to wrap around his hips, drilling himself even deeper and groaning when you moaned his name, tightening around him.
"There," You managed to gasp, and Yoongi shifted, giving himself a little more leverage to speed up, fucking against the spot that had made you react so perfectly for him. He wondered under the fog of his mind if you'd ever felt it before, if your fingers could reach it, if you had been waiting for him to find it. Or maybe, he hoped as he reached down to swirl his fingers around your clit, maybe you would only associate it with him. The spot that he hit just right, the spot that he could find with ease.
"Choking me," He hissed out, never easing up. Your legs tightened around his hips, and your walls sucked him in like every pullback of his cock was a loss you couldn't stomach. You were close, he knew that reaction, knew those sounds like the back of his hand and he was determined to feel you cum on his dick. "Go on, pretty, let go for me. I know you're almost there, you can let go."
His words were soft, sweet, washing over your like ocean waves and dragging you down into your orgasm, air ripping from your lungs as you released around him. You trembled, your hips grinding up to meet his desperate movements, and his movement slowed down to ease you through it.
His movements didn't stop even as you came down, and it was hard to say if he was urging you towards a second one or if he was just too transfixed by the feeling of your walls finally wrapping around him like they'd been waiting for him to slide into you.
"Want you to cum too," You said, the hand in his hair moving to guide his lips towards you, pulling him into a kiss. The taste of him on your lips was like a drug, his tongue slipping past your lips to map out your mouth and his teeth dragging against your lip, not hard enough to be considered a bite, but certainly enough for you to know he could. It didn't take anything more than the kiss to push him over the edge, his groan getting lost in the press of your lips, and his hips pressing flush into yours as he spilled into you.
The kiss slowed, still hungry and desperate, but languid now as if he were savoring the moment of you two pressed so close together. Once he was out of breath, he pulled away, nuzzling into your neck and dragging you as close as he possibly could given your position. He rolled you onto your side with him so the two of you were tangled together, his softening cock finally slipping out of you and his leg trapping yours between his own.
"How was it?" He asked after a few moments of stroking his fingertips against your waist. You kept your eyes closed, basking in his attention and letting a smile curl on your lips.
"It was perfect." You said, pressing closer so he couldn't see the way your smile grew.
"Only the best for my darling." He said, tipping your chin up to kiss you again. You smiled against his lips before pulling away a bit. He followed your lips, and you giggled.
"Yours, huh?" You asked, fingertips drumming against his bare chest.
"I want you to be. Always have. Now more than ever.  don't want anyone else to have you like I do." He confessed without hesitation, and the sincerity in his voice genuinely surprised you. Your teasing gaze softened, and you kissed him once more.
"Nobody will. They couldn't even if they wanted to. I'm all yours."
copyright 2023 coupsie-daisies, all rights reserved
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todostiddies · 4 months
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Modern Eren Boyfriend HC
Modern AU headcannons of Eren Jaeger (my beloved) and GNReader pt2
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*** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** ***
Eren likes to stargaze with you. He really enjoys finding all the different constellations or making out shapes of your own with you
The first time he took you on a stargazing date was on the hood of his car, somewhere far from the city lights. He tried to impress you with his knowledge of myths behind constellations (the whole big friend group takes camping tips and Historia and Armin nerd out about the Greek myths behind certain constellations) BUT he ended up forgetting or messing the stories up because he was nervous and so he just made some up that starred a beautiful heroine/hero that was suspiciously a lot like you, and a beautiful, mysterious savior that was a lot like him
Now every time yall stargaze he makes a new story up to add to the saga
As mentioned above, camping trips with the whole gang are SO much fun!!
Connie and Eren try and see who can make the most smores the quickest and then eventually switch to who can eat the most the fastest. This usually ends with both parties cheating as Connie hands Sasha some smores behind his back and Eren starts handing you some as well, and both don't even know they're doing the same thing because they're both too focused on winning AND not getting caught.
Eren will cure your resulting tummy ache with a kiss and a lil belly rub, then lift his shirt and pout for you to do the same and honestly who would say no
He sometimes gets lost in his head or overthinks about your relationship or maybe a shift in your mood, so anytime he gets that way or he knows he messed up, he will call his mom for advice and then Mikasa afterwards, which always ends up on a group call with Armin
He has taken your mom or guardian figure on a "date" at least once, and he pulled out all the stops and was so nervous be could have barfed, but on the surface he turned his charm all the way up and they loved him
He wanted to take them^ on a date after he realized he wanted to be with you for the rest of his life and wanted your family to like him
Babies like him but toddlers are sometimes scared of him??
It's a height thing, he just looks so intimidating and he has a resting RBF for fucking sure. Like to the extreme.
But after one conversation they do that cute kid thing where they pick a person and follow them around whole heartedly copying them and trying to impress them, and it's always going to be Eren.
He gets super into it too and makes sure to lead the kids on cool little adventures and hang out with them and give them some "life advice" which really isn't that deep lol but sometimes it's pretty good but it's always cheesy
He deffo screams like a girl when gaming but if he remembers you are in the room he will clear his throat with a blush and sober up quickly lmao
Bear with me on this one, maybe unpopular opinion but... he reads a book a month
Sometimes two, but never goes a month without at least one book. During high school he had some anxiety and anger issues he had a hard time first getting used to even having, and then managing as time went on with personnel stuff and high school things, so he REALLY hated having time alone where he did nothing
The worst was before bed where he just laid awake and could not sleep :( but then Armin kept going on about this book he was reading, so Eren pirated it online and read it every night before bed. And reading really helped give him something to do in those moments and actually helped him a lot when it came to accepting therapy
So I think he does enjoy reading and even has some reading glasses and likes to read with a warm drink, like hot chocolate or some decaf coffee he made, and likes to read cuddled up in the rain
Will talk to you about his book and his theories, and if an ending pisses him off or was just straight up bad?? You will never hear the end of it, it will literally sour his mood for the rest of the day and every time he thinks about it. And if you're a reader too, then you two have dates where you fill up dinner table conversations just talking about books and go on little book dates once a month too and will often read the same books (like a mini book club, fun!!)
He has annotated a book for you at least once
Going back to the therapy thing, I know a lot of modern headcanons show Eren as super termpental and with a lot of mental health issues too, and though I 100% agree that he was that way in canon, I think Modern Eren would be a lot more happy and chill and even easy-going because he didn't have to deal with all that canon trauma. That being said, I do think high school was hard for him because (in my modern AU at least) that would be when he found out about Zeke and his dads other family, which even his mom didn't know about...
His dad had a past marriage and son that didn't work out and he had an opportunity to leave for work and so he just did. It is his greatest shame and regret so though he sent money to them every year, he never wanted Eren or Carla to find out. But eventually Carla tracked the money and they found out. So in his high school years, Eren hated his father and even hated the other family like it was their fault too for all the drama in his. His parents verged divorce and he felt him and Mikasa growing apart as she crushed on Jean (they still were SUPER close and once he told them about everything going on the three of them grew even closer) and Armin was super academically busy and didn't have a lot of free time either. So because of all of this, I feel like Eren did struggle with some anger issues, depression, anxiety, and overall teenage angst during this time.
But, eventually him and his family went to therapy and they met with the other family and they eventually moved closer and Eren and Zeke ended up becoming good brothers yay
Speaking of, he gushes to Zeke about you ALL of the time
He has a strained relationship with his Dad, but he is A MAMAS BOY of course
He is very open with you about his past and his family situation and everything he felt and went through. It is easy for him to let you in on things that he has already processed and been through, but sometimes harder to fully open up about more recent things
He gets all the tea on everybody from specifically Armin, Mikasa, Sasha , Connie and Historia (the gossiping queens). Every time the gang gets together they are dishing out everyone's dirty laundry and tea and Eren brings it back to you boiling hot and he makes you both a cup of something warm while you sit on the counter nodding along with your mouth open
He loves getting your reactions so much, and you two always end up gossiping just as much and laughing, and since he loves your reactions so much he sometimes plays out his reaction to the particularly juicy parts for you too I don't condone gossiping but I also recognize it as fun and socially bonding lmao but be nice about it okay
He gives you a bite of everything he eats no matter how large or small the portion and even before you ask. He will also give you a sip of whatever he is drinking too, and if you like it more than him or are more thirty or hungry he always ends up either giving it to you or splitting it
He went through a phase where a got a slushi every single day, didn't matter what time (though he usually liked them best after school or the gym or super late at night like 3am when he can't sleep) He still likes to have them a couple times a month now
Will go on late night drives with you, driving slow with the windows down, crickets from outside and the radio playing, it's just so nice and always makes you both smile. He watches you more than the road but is a VERY safe driver, especially with you
That being said, he will also speed up to very illegal speeds at least once (on completely deserted and safe roads) just to hear you squeal and laugh
Likes when you fall asleep in the car. He will drive on the wrong side of the road or in the other line to avoid any kind of speed bumps or risks to your slumber, skips songs that are too noisy or shocking, avoids potholes at all costs, and will take the longer route home. He also gets a little distracted every time you snore or just from admiring you because you look too cute asleep like the lil passenger princess you are
Has done donuts in the car with you a couple times late at night in an empty parking lot and he LOVES the way you laugh and howl into the night while the engine nearly drowns out everything else
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That's all for now, but I have more to say soon!
Thank you for taking the time to read this, I hope you enjoyed it!!
pt2
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ellabehavior · 9 months
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You’re on your own kid ~ Rafe Cameron ☼
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Summary: Rafe and you have been best friends since you were young. However, now that he got his new girlfriend you suddenly realized that you could possibly like him more than simply as a friend.
Pairing: Rafe Cameron x Fem!Reader
Warnings: anxiety, mentions of drinking
A/N: Its been a while yall, but i’m back!! I hope y’all enjoy :)! ( i hateee this but i hope y’all love)
angst to soft!
-
Summer went away,
You’ve been best friends with Rafe since as long as you can remember, but last summer was the summer where everything changed.
The summer before your first year of college.
School was back up and you were also starting to look at Rafe with a different eye. He was taller, tanner, smarter, he’s growing up.
Still the yearning stays.
Everytime you’d pass Rafe in the hallway hed give you a short smile but never really acknowledge you.
You missed last summer when you guys would hang out everyday, tell eachothers every little secret, and have the best deep conversations at 2am.
You knew at this moment that things might never be the same again.
I play it cool with the best of them.
For the first time in months Rafe contacted you, he invited you to go to a party with a lot of people from your school.
When you arrived, that’s when you seen him with her.
He had his arm around her neck and her long blonde hair rested on his lower arm.
I wait patiently, he’s gonna notice me.
“It’s ok, It’s ok” You whisper quietly while gaining the courage to go up and talk to Rafe.
As you walk up to him he gives you a half-hug due to the blonde on his right.
“Hey Y/N i haven’t seen you in a while.” He grins.
“Yeahhh, I guess i’ve been busy yknow with all the test and s-” Immediately you get cut off by a high pitched voice.
“Rafeyyy cmon let’s go play some games this is boring.” She says with a pout.
“Mkay babe. Bye Y/n” The boy said walking away without a glance at you.
It’s ok we’re the best of friends, anyways…
About a week after the party Rafe finally calls to check up on you.
“Hey y/n.” He drowsily says .
“Rafe? It’s 1:00am what are you calling me for?” You voice concerningly
“I just miss my bestie that’s all” He laughs.
I hear it in your voice,
You're smoking with your boys.
I touch my phone as if it's your face.
“Rafe are you high right now?” You almost shout.
“Yes, Maybe, No.” He giggles.
“Rafe do you need me to come get you?”
You rush to grab your keys and your wallet to go pick Rafe up.
“No i’m here with my girlfriend.” He says.
You stop in your tracks, immediately getting a sick feeling in your stomach as soon as those words come out from his mouth.
“Oh Okay, we’ll I’ll talk to you some other time okay?” You suggest.
And with that he hangs up the phone without a goodbye.
I didn't choose this town,
I dream of getting out.
There's just one who could make me stay,
All my days.
As a kid you and Rafe would always talk about how when you guys were 25 you’d move to London together, and to this day that’s still your biggest dream.
You hate this place, it’s full of people who will be rude to you just based off of how you grew up.
Surprisingly Rafe is now dating one of those girls, Lily.
From sprinkler splashes to fireplace ashes
I waited ages to see you there
I search the party of better bodies
Just to learn that you never cared
You promised yourself after last time you would never go to another college party, but here you find yourself at one that Rafe invited you to.
You would be lying if you said you’re here because you wanted to party, you’re waiting to see him.
You see Lily off in the crowd dancing, She’s perfect. You understand why Rafe would pick her. Her hair flows perfectly in the wind, her makeup is never less than flawless, and even though you want to tell yourself that she’s ugly, she’s one of the prettiest girls you’ve ever seen.
As you study Lily you see Rafe come up from behind her and hug her.
You're on your own, kid
You always have been
The whole night Rafe didn’t even bat a single eye at you, so you left.
I see the great escape
So long, Daisy May
I picked the petals, he loves me not
Something different bloomed
Writing in my room
I play my songs in the parking lot
I'll run away
You tried to distance yourself ever since the party, finally realizing this crush is starting to form into something you don’t need right now.
It’s been exactly 2 weeks since you’ve gone no contact with Rafe and if there were 20 stages of grief, you’ve been through 30.
All you want to do is call him, text him, or tell yourself that maybe he’s just using Lily as a distraction because he really likes you.
“Why is it never me.”
From sprinkler splashes to fireplace ashes
I called a taxi to take me there
I search the party of better bodies
Just to learn that my dreams aren't rare
It’s a cycle.
Another party, Another slap in the face.
You can see the other girls also looking at Lily wishing they could be with Rafe.
The realization kills you to know that it’ll probably never be you in that spot with all these options he has.
You're on your own, kid,
You always have been.
It’s a drunken night, and you’ll definitely regret this.
“Rafeyyy babyyy” you slur.
“Y/N? Why are you calling me in the middle of the night?” You can tell he is worried in his tone.
“I don’t like her. She’s rude, you deserve better.”
There is a long pause and then you hear someone speak, “He’s never liked you babe. You’re nothing compared to me, and you know that.”
The phone hung up.
From sprinkler splashes to fireplace ashes
I gave my blood, sweat, and tears for this
I hosted parties and starved my body
Like I'd be saved by a perfect kiss
It’s been hard to do anything since the altercation.
Eating, Getting up, Going to class, Socializing, and pretty much everything feels like a chore.
You’ve tried so hard to get his attention yet he never seemed to care.
And of course as a mean girl, Lily decided to tell everyone about what you said to Rafe. Of course he apologized for what she said, and for what happened but that didn’t stop the whole school for coming at you for a whole week.
The jokes weren't funny, I took the money
My friends from home don't know what to say
I looked around in a blood-soaked gown
And I saw something they can't take away
You received a text message late at night, usual for Rafe.
Rafe: Hey, i’m so sorry for what Lily caused. You’re my best friend and I realized nothing is worth loosing that, me and her are over now after a long talk.. Can we please hang out? I miss you.
Fuck. This is what you’ve been longing for all these months and it finally is here.
You: Yeah sure, Sleepover? my place tmmrw? ;)
Rafe: Ofc. I miss you. Cya.
Cause there were pages turned with the bridges burned
Everything you lose is a step you take
So make the friendship bracelets
Take the moment and taste it
You've got no reason to be afraid
The anxiety levels are high waiting for Rafe to come over, it’s been so long since you’ve had a real conversation through all this time of him being with Lily.
You start to wonder if he still likes Starwars, or if his favorite dancing song is 22 by Taylor Swift.
You then hear a knock on the door.
You're on your own, kid
“Hey!! Can I come in” he says.
“Of course.”
Then the catching up, the apology’s, and the stories start up.
It’s just like last summer.
Yeah, you can face this
While Rafe is telling one of his stories, you start to feel a pit of anxiety in your stomach because you know what you have to do.
You’ve gotten ready for this moment, practiced it in the mirror about 50 times to make sure your facial expressions, or your tone doesn’t sound too weird.
You're on your own, kid
“Rafe.” You stop him mid conversation.
“Yes?” he says with a quirk of his eyebrows.
“All these months i’ve been so distant but really all I wanted was to be near you, since last summer you’ve been the only thing on my mind and maybe you don’t feel the same way but-“
He cuts you off with a kiss to your lips.
“I’ve been waiting since the 8th grade for you to say that” He says as he pulls away.
“So all that practicing in the mirror was for nothing?” you giggle.
“Guess so.”
You always have been
195 notes · View notes
fictionallystable · 1 month
Text
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Rating: Mature
Fandom: Call of Duty (Video Games)
Relationship: Phillip Graves (Call of Duty)/Reader
Characters: Reader, Phillip Graves (Call of Duty), Original Male Character(s)
Additional Tags: Author Has Played Call of Duty, Childhood Friends, Miscommunication, Mutual Pining, Civilian!Reader, Pre-Canon, Jealousy, Angst, Kissing, Mild Smut, Time Skips, Brother's Best Friend, Toxic Family Dynamics, Eventual Smut, Drama, Misunderstandings, Getting Together, Minor Age Gap
Words: 9,080| Chapters: 4/5
Authors: @orphancains & @collinnmckinley
Chapter 4: The Engagement Party
Chapter Summary: You're invited to Matty's engagement party and run into a familiar face—only for everything to seemingly fall apart.
A/N: agian we are extremely apologetic for the late update. life got hectic for both of us and hit us like a bus. and we were too exahsted from everything to even think about writing. but here we are!!! with a longer chapter to make it up to yall!! we really hope you enjoy this one c: only one chapter left to go ;) (likes and reblogs are appreciated <3)
the fic can also be found on AO3
tags will be updated!!
You felt nauseous at the thought of returning home for Matty’s engagement party. You’d been living out of town, happy with your job as an architect even if it meant you sometimes went months without seeing family. But you preferred it that way, with less judgment from your parents for choosing to postpone your own engagement yet again. 
With your boyfriend Richard’s arm around your waist, you braced yourself for the booming cheers from your mother and father when they saw you. Immediately, they enveloped you in hugs and shook you with delight. 
“[Y/N], oh, it’s so good to see you! We’ve missed you so much.” 
“The drive must’ve been tiring, huh? How’s work been, Richard?” 
“[Y/N], your figure looks great! And that skirt is gorgeous!” 
Ah, yes. The skirt Richard picked out for me.
Your mother’s wrinkled, smiling eyes rubbed your back as you made your way to the living room for a drink, while Richard stayed in the hall with your father, enraptured in more dull small talk. The stiff smile you had kept carved on your face all this time suddenly melted into a real one when you saw Bear, your dog, laying on the ground.
You knelt down immediately to pet him, forgetting the drink your mom was getting you. You rubbed your hands through his long, brown fur as he wagged his tail back and forth. He panted excitedly, leaning up trying to lick your cheek. You laughed. “I’m glad you’re looking good, Bear,” you said to the dog. He had been staying comfortably with your mother for the past 6 months, enjoying her leftovers but far away from you. Every night, you wished you could cuddle up with the dog. But Richard insisted that no dogs be allowed in your apartment.
“ I can’t handle all the hair, especially with it sticking to my suits. And I doubt you’ll have the time to clean up after a German Shepherd’s furballs with your workload ,” you remembered he sourly sneered while he unpacked your boxes all those months ago. 
“And Matty?” you asked your mom when she handed you a cup of soda and ice in a red plastic solo, while Bear rolled over on his back elatedly.
“He’s outside entertaining the guests with Elaine.” Your mom grinned. “Her parents seem to be very happy with our arrangement.”
You tried to smile, but a grimace cracked through instead. Ever since you graduated high school, your mother and father had insisted you get married quickly. Matty seemed to have no issue finding the right girl to propose to. You, on the other hand, well… you couldn’t see yourself with Richard. He was protective, he remembered your anniversaries, and he always made the time to take you on dates, to remember your favorite flowers, and always paraded you with pride at his own work parties. But the thought of saying “I do” to the man made your chest bubble with anxiety. And maybe even dread. Sometimes he was too  protective, interrupted you too much, and sometimes took his sarcastic jokes too far to the point of cruelty. You were sensitive, ever since your adolescence. But… you could get used to it, right? 
“Oh, that’s great news,” you muttered in reply to your mother.
Your mother leered at you from the corner of her eye. A mischievous but scrutinizing twinkle in her eyes. “Yes, it’s just a matter of time before you and Richard have your very own—”
“I should go say hi to Matty, yes?” You got up quickly and brushed the wrinkles from your skirt. “And of course, to my future sister-in-law…” you sputtered out as you scurried past your mother.
When you stepped out onto the back garden, you were hit once again with the warm, thick heat of the Texas night. You saw your brother from behind, with his arm around Elaine, whose long, pin-straight hung like a curtain from behind her, and a cold beer in his hand. You saw they were laughing while they chatted to an older man and woman you didn’t recognize, crinkled skin and silvery but pin-straight thin hair that Elaine had. From what you could guess, they must’ve been Elaine’s parents.  
It was hard to hide your joy at seeing your brother. You sauntered up to your brother, wanting to catch up with him. Last time you’d seen him, he’d been arguing with your dad about the very idea of proposing to Elaine. He wanted to wait another couple of months, but your father insisted Elaine would start to get impatient and would find another husband, another arrangement. Your brother had stormed off that day, driven away in his car, uttering nothing more than a “Not now!” at you when you had asked if he was okay.
“Matty!” you called out to your brother from where you stood. Your smile couldn’t get any wider. Yes you spoke with your brother every week when work let you, but it's been a long while since you last saw your brother in person. 
So when he heard your voice calling his name, he turned to see you standing there, at your parents backyard porch, waving to him excitedly, he couldn’t help but let out an airy laugh and immediately started to make his way to you. You did the same and both met in the middle as you scooped you in a hug lifting your feet off the ground. Oh how he missed his baby sister. Although all grown up.
Seeing how excitedly Matty basically ran towards you, it made Elaine chuckle and shake her head. She knew how strong the sibling bond you and your brother shared, and she found it extremely endearing and adorable in a way she can never experience, as she was the only child.
As Matty let you down on the ground again, Elaine made her way to greet you. When you saw her you couldn’t help but hug her too. You liked Elaine, she was like a sister you never had, and you couldn’t be happier for both of them. 
“It’s so good to see you [Y/N]! We missed you so much” Elaine told you, her smile was bright and contagious. You couldn’t help but to mirror her excitement and feeling.
“It’s good to see you both too! I’m so sorry I couldn’t get earlier work got in the way, and we packed at the last minute-” you expressed how regretful you were about how late you arrived. You truly meant to arrive earlier, to help your brother and his wife-to-be with the arrangement of the party, but the universe had other plans for you. 
Before you went on a tangent, Matty cut you off with his usual reassuring demeanor.
“Nonsense! You’re here and that's what matters.” Elaine nodded, as Matty’s hand came around her shoulder. They truly looked like a couple made for each other. 
“Oh! Before you go or do anything, I gotta show you who’s here!” Matty said, his excitement meant trouble. For some reason you were worried.
“Oh there he is! Just the man I was looking for hah!” Matty was looking over your shoulder when he spoke. 
As you turned around like any normal person would do to see who your brother was talking about, the air was knocked out of you immediately as your eyes landed on him.
“Phil…” you sputtered out, quiet enough for it to be a whisper.
Phillip Graves stood a few feet away from you, far enough to reach in a couple of steps. And that's what he did when your brother called him over. The Phillip Graves was standing in front of you now, except now he was older. His hair was still the light brown, almost blonde hair that had as a teen. His tan skin now was littered with a few scars, on accenting his cheek bone. You remembered he was tall, always athletic, as a kid from playing varsity football and soccer. But now, he had filled out muscles under his burgundy t-shirt and light-wash jeans. And he still towered over you just enough that you had to peer up to meet his blue eyes. 
With a surprised, almost confused smile, he repeated your name back to you. 
“Phillip... Phil…” you breathed out, still in disbelief. “I didn’t know you’d be here.”
“Of course he’s gonna be here, silly! He’s my best friend, I couldn’t have a wedding without him being my best man can I?” you’re brother jokes. Before you could say anything to him, you heard a distant voice calling his name. He answers “coming!”, but not before bidding you both to have a good time and catch up.
He knows how much Phil meant to you, and he knows for sure for the past fifteen years how much you tried to forget him.
You watched as your brother and his fiancee in his arms went to tend to the other guests, before turning to Phillip, who’s smile grew into one of his beaming ones that you’d grown familiar with as a teen. “Hopefully seeing me ain’t a bad surprise.” He winks at you teasingly before smiling softly. He gestured to the plastic, white porch table nearby. “D’ya wanna sit?”
Tentatively, you took a seat across from him at the table. He looked around, almost looking bored, as he took a drink of his own beer bottle. But you knew Phil. He wasn’t disinterested. You could tell from the way he was bouncing his left leg in slight nervousness. 
“So, how have you been [Y/N]? I heard you became a big shot architect in Seattle! Not gonna lie, I thought that you’d become a famous artist with her own exhibit all across the country.” Phillip genuinely sounded happy and surprised, leaning back in his chair, hands intertwining on his torso. A habit he picked up during his time away from home in the Marine Corps.
You smiled at him. He recognized that as the one your mother trained you to show new people. It only got sweeter—and prettier—as you grew older, he thought. It suited you even as you were no longer a little girl and now a beautiful, grown woman. Graves’ heart strings tugged, and for a split second, and only for that tiny moment, he was taken off guard. 
“Yeah.” You paused but only for a second. “Things turned out differently. But I can't complain.” That sweet smile still plastered on your face. Phil couldn’t believe it, how much you’ve changed, how much you’ve grown. How beautiful you’ve become-
“Things… didn’t end well the last time we saw each other.” He was lost in thought again but your voice brought him back. 
“Or rather didn’t see.” You murmured.
He knitted his brows in confusion. “I’m not following.” 
Annoyance began to stir inside you. You huffed and looked away.
He nearly stammered his words. “From what I last remember; we had a blast at your birthday party, Matty gave you a puppy, the one that he’d been planning months to get for you. And I—”
“And you left.” Your eyes, returning to him and now darker with hurt, pierced straight into his eyes, and your silky voice cut him like a sharp knife. “Practically the next day.” “Without saying a single word to me about your enlistment that day.” A sad, but bitter, smile adorned your face, eyes cast downward. As the memories of that day continued to unfurl for you, a dormant resentment continued to bubble in the depths of your viscera. 
“You didn’t even bother to say goodbye to Matty properly let alone me.” Your voice was softer now,  but he could still see the hurt behind your eyes. “Much less to my parents who—”
“Listen, [Y/N], I didn’t—” He clenched his jaw and dragged his chair closer, hoping to keep his voice low. He felt embarrassed to be having this conversation with you in the first place in your parents’ backyard. And he especially didn’t want Matty to know you were talking about this with him. Still, he felt he owed you an explanation. “I didn’t want to scare you….” he stops and looks at you, in his eyes an emotion you have never seen before swims, you can't decipher it, but it somehow looks familiar. “Or hurt you for that matter.” 
He shook his head, crossing his arms across his chest. He scoffed, just barely audible to you. “But be realistic for a moment. What did you expect me to say to you? ‘Hey, kiddo, I’m off to join the Marine Corps. Might die or get a limb or two blown off. Make sure you do your homework and don’t stay up too late playing video games with Matty! Bye!” 
Phil couldn’t help being defensive of his actions that summer, a bit too defensive even to his liking. He sighs and continues with a bit of a calmer voice. Phil knew that his answer wasn’t half-assed, but he still knew they could be biting. Although he didn’t want to reopen old wounds, he also didn’t want to lie to you. Especially not now that you were no longer a child, and not just Matty’s kid sister. “I did what I thought was right, for you… and me. And I wouldn’t change it if I had to do it again. That’s the truth.” 
You blinked. You couldn’t help but hear something alien in his voice, a tone so unfamiliar in your memories of him as kids. Was it sorrow? Remorse? Pain? You couldn’t figure it out. But you know it was something not to be pushed any further. As a kid you never understood why he did what he did, but as you grew older, somehow you knew that as a child everyone’s decisions were outside your range of understanding. You had accepted what happened. Or at least you thought you did. But today that young girl returned, took back control your body and mind, and you found yourself spluttering these words to Phil. 
Sitting with his own answers, you sat in silence. You watched as he leaned back and eyed you carefully. His eyes were still the same baby blue ones that always gazed at you with brotherly affection all those years, the ones that sparkled when the Texan summer sun’s rays cast on them. But now you felt a hardness radiating from behind them, one that would make anyone else cower and feel smaller. Years in military combat had definitely changed him and his gaze. Indeed, you did feel like he was studying every inch of your face and body, scanning you as if trying to profile you, maybe like he did with the captured combatants in whatever war in which he fought. You tried your hardest to return the intensity of his stare, but it was hard to compete with the icy look in his eyes.
But behind his colder eyes was a burning curiosity that he was successful in concealing from you. It was a curiosity he didn’t expect to experience tonight, because he never expected to see you, Matty’s beloved little sister, again. In all his memories, some more faded and fuzzier than others, you remained a little girl whose clothes were stained with paint and fingers sometimes still smudged from soft pastels or even charcoal from your art. In his mind, you still had baby cheeks and wore Matty’s old hand-me-down clothes and hoodies. But before him, he never expected Matty’s little sister, now a woman, to be sitting before him. He almost wanted to curse himself for immediately noticing when you walked to the table how your curves fit the skirt you wore. And when you sat across from him, he caught himself glancing more than once at your chest when your arms folded just beneath it. 
He clenched his jaw. God, if Matty even caught the places his eyes were traveling when he saw you, he was sure he was going to get his ass kicked and his face pounded in by Matty’s notorious fist. Grown up or not, you were still his sister. And this was also still Matty’s engagement party, and he couldn’t ruin it. And you were clearly still torn up about his sudden, unannounced enlistment all those years ago. This was not the place or time to be thinking of… other things.
What disrupted his curious gaze from roaming over you was a sole tear that began to trickle down the corner of your eye. Just one, and one that you quickly wiped away with your hand before it could ruin much of your makeup. But it was enough to know that, once again, Phil had made you upset. He internally wanted to bang a fist against the table. He was hoping you would lash out at him, he would let you burn off some of the steam that you couldn’t when you were both kids, he knew how much you controlled your rage, and he wished you would finally let it out even if it was on him. Let you both make fools of yourselves that night, so he could feel less remorse. But instead, the silence from you that he was me with was damning him more than he could expect.
When you refused to say anything, Phil anxiously whirled the cold glass bottle in his hands. “But, I was also an idiot,” Phil spat out suddenly. 
Your furrowed brows softened, noticing how Phil’s eyes melted into what you couldn’t intercept at first. But you soon realized it was a miserable mixture of hurt and regret. “I just wanted to get away from my folks, you know. Even though they were hardly ever home, I still felt like they controlled every aspect of my life. So…” He breathed out. “So, I’m sorry.”
“I get that,” was all you said as you mindlessly twirled the bracelet around your wrist. As you did so, his eyes glanced down at your hand on the table, the same ones that were always covered in stubborn faded blue and yellow hues of paint. He swallowed when he noticed that, unlike Matty whom he’d spoken to earlier, you had no ring on your left hand. Before you could notice, Phil quickly glanced back up at your face, and was relieved to see that your harsh scowl from before had melted away. “I just wish you could’ve told me that then. But I… I get that I was too young. We were both pretty stubborn when it came to talking about anything serious, but we cared—”
Before you could finish, you heard a booming voice call out your name. You turned and saw Richard beckoning you to where he stood, while your parents stood to the side and grinned giddily together. Suddenly the whole party had grown strangely quiet. Beside the ice cooler, you noticed a bluetooth speaker playing a familiar soft rock song. One that you distinctly remember as the one Richard played in the car after your first date together at the theme park, and the same one you two danced to in his old apartment when you both were tipsy one night.
You got up from your seat. Next to you Phil also suddenly wondered why so many eyes were on you and this unfamiliar man. You started walking toward him and your parents, wondering what in the world was happening, and why your boyfriend was standing in the middle of the backyard like he was about to give a speech. Oh no, I've seen this scenario happening in public one too many times. This does not look good…. Your internal monologue was put in a pause when you looked around to find your brother, and when your eyes landed on his and his fiance, you knew with one look they did not seem pleased of what was going on.
“[Y/N],” he started. “We’ve only known each other for a few months…”
“I can’t fucking believe this,” Matty muttered from a few feet away from where Phil sat. 
Phil blinked a couple of times. His gut was telling him he knew exactly what was going on, but he himself couldn’t believe it. Not after he just reunited with Y/N a few minutes earlier.
Elaine tried to calm Matty down silently, but Matty was furious. “I specifically told them not to pull this shit, not on this occasion. Jesus fucking Christ.” Elaine didn’t need to hear him say it, but she knew who he was referring to when he said ‘they’.
Richard continued. “But you’ve made me a better man, a man with bigger, better ambitions, a man who can see himself becoming a family man. Beyond just a businessman, a partner, a rock to lean on, someone who could build a home with you and raise a family together.”
When he got down on one knee, you felt your heart stop and all the muscles in your body seize. You tightened your jaw, dormant rage igniting all over again. You didn’t know if you wanted to run away and flee the scene or smash Richard’s head with the beer bottle from a nearby table, but you felt as though your shoes were glued to the dry grass. “Y/N,” he said as he took a ring out of his jacket pocket. 
You looked up frantically and saw your mother on the verge of happy tears and your father with a proud grin but his hands tucked in his suit jacket’s pockets, much like when he is negotiating a business deal at work. You knew immediately that this was not simply Richard’s doing. No, you had told Richard as recently as last night at bedtime that you would rather wait at least when you hit 30 before even considering marriage. This was your parents handing you off to Richard, hoping and desperately trying to have their wealth merge with Richard’s own family wealth. Just like you feared in every conversation you had with your mom and dad, you feared you represented nothing more than a simple pawn in another one of your dad’s business deals. 
You glanced back down at Richard, the sour sneer on your face growing harder and harder for you to conceal. You could feel your hands trembling now by your side, and the cup of soda in your hand threatening to get crushed.  
“Will you do me the honor of letting me call you my wife?”
You heard murmurs and all around you from the backyard. The night’s spotlight was now on you, no longer on Matty and Elaine, and that made you grind your teeth even more. You didn’t want extra attention. It was bad enough that suddenly your childhood crush crashed the party and made you relive your teenage hormones and heartbreak. Richard and your parents both knew how uncomfortable you felt coming back home, and suddenly they decided to make you have to answer a marriage proposal in front of all your relatives, friends, and neighbors. 
You glared down at Richard, who was oblivious to the storm raging in your mind. “You’re out of your fucking mind,” you spat out, with a low and harsh voice, but still loud enough for everyone to hear. You whipped your head up furiously to glare directly at your mom and dad. “And you two! You two are unbelievable. You should be ashamed of yourselves!” Your throat ached from how harshly you growled at them.
Without another word, not even a “no” to dignify Richard’s proposal, you threw your cup of soda at Richard’s face. The half-melted ice-cubes and cold Sprite made him flinch and get back up to his feet quickly. A chorus of gasps erupted from behind and around you. 
“You spoiled brat!” your mother shrieked. The disdain and disappointment on her face was one so familiar, but one that still brought your heart racing anxiously and your lips to quiver. Your father stood frozen in shock beside her. He himself didn’t expect you to react in such a way. He thought tonight would be another business success for him. “Do you know how much we had sacrificed for you? And you decide to act like a child? When will you grow up?l!” 
“THIS IS INSANE!” 
Your eyes snapped to the source of outburst and landed on Matty standing near where Phil and you had been sitting. Phil remained at his seat watching all of this unfold with amusement, as Matty was walking towards where your parents had been standing, with determination of giving an earful to them most likely, but before he could start what he had to say your voice decided to come out on its own accord.
“Oh mother… How can you still be so stubborn about this? How could you pull this stunt at Matty’s engagement party, your own son's engagement party? Do you have no shame? Either of you?” Your voice determined and harsh. Even your mother was taken aback by your bold retort. Her speechlessness only allowed you to continue your tirade. “I told you at least a hundred times that I don’t have any plans to get married anytime soon. But you didn’t listen! That doesn’t surprise me; you hardly ever listen to me. But at least have some respect for your own goddamn son! Who has been nothing but an obedient child to you! Both of you! And this is how you treat him?! The least that you could have done was ask him and Elaine if this was okay with them!” 
Your mother was stunned, the blood having drained from her face and her hand clutching her handbag tightly as she gawked at you. You’ve never been this brave with your words. You never talked back to either of your parents in all your youth. And if your father wasn’t just as speechless, he would’ve given you an earful, and even threatened you to remove you from inheritance. But you didn’t care, your patience ran thinner and thinner each year and this new stunt made all that remained evaporate in a matter of seconds.
You knew you couldn’t come back from this. The realization that there was a chance you’ll probably be shunned and even maybe disowned after this. You had run out of words, so you simply ran from the scene. Your spilled red cup of coke laid on the grass, something the ants in the yard would later indulge in. You bolted into your family’s house, your childhood home, which was mainly empty with everyone mingling in the evening out in the yard. You went into your room on instinct, but noticed your mom and dad had converted it into an office space for their work. Your jaw dropped as you realized they never kept your room the same way they had adoringly preserved Matty’s. You tightened your grip around the door knob. You wanted nothing more than to trash the room, break the desk that sat where your bed once did, and stomp on bookshelves that once held your comics and artbooks but now held folders of boring white paperwork. 
But instead you fled to your brother’s room across the hall. You knelt down beside his bed, kicked off your shoes, and buried your face in a pillow. You let out a muffled scream. After a few seconds, your scream morphed into pathetic sobs. You knew you were surely staining Matty’s old pillows with your makeup, but you didn’t care at that moment. At that moment, it felt as though you time-traveled back fifteen years in your old home, crying your eyes out into your beloved brother’s pillow.
‿︵‿︵‿୨ ୧‿︵‿︵‿
Phil watched as Matty slouched on the plastic lounging chair outside. Almost everyone had left. Your mother and father stood near the backyard fence, arguing desperately about what to do next after you had ruined their evening. Richard stood next to them but remained mostly silent and merely listened to them. Elaine, Matty’s fiancée, trudged into the house in search of you. Meanwhile, Phil took a seat across from Matty, who ran his hands through his beard and squeezed his eyes shut momentarily out of frustration.
“Cannot believe they would fucking do that on tonight of all nights,” Matty groaned out.
Phil let out a low whistle. “Yeah definitely didn’t expect to see [Y/N] throw a cup of soda at some random guy.” It would almost be laughable if it weren’t for the fact that he had seen tears once again streaming down your face when you darted inside. “So, that was actually [Y/N]’s boyfriend or—”
“Unfortunately,” Matty spat out. “I can’t stand the guy. But our parents love Richard even though he’s a huge asshole to her half the time.”
“Huh…”
Phil tried to recall the man. He was tall and athletic. He seemed like the type to weight lift, worry about trends in luxury suits, and track his meals’ calories to keep up with his appearance and health everyday. His dark hair was slicked back with some gel, and his jaw was sharp and pronounced. His sharp, aquiline facial features reminded Phil of some of the college guys who would apply for internships to work for his dad’s firm during summers back when he was a kid. But something about him made Phil’s skin crawl. He wasn’t sure if it was the fact that his entire personality seemed like a masquerade of wealth and opulence, or the fact that he was dating you , had the gall to propose to you , while also being an asshole to you, according to Matty at least.
“I can’t say I blame her for throwing the soda at him,” Phil snickered quietly.
Matty almost cracked a smile at this. Suddenly, he remembered why he called Phil his best friend for so many years of his life. “Trust me, if I could’ve thrown one too, I would’ve.”
Your father suddenly bellowed your name. “Come out! We need to have a talk!”
Phil and Matty quickly glanced at each other, worry coating both of their faces. They expected Elaine and you to come out together, Elaine probably holding a box of tissues and your eyes still swollen from crying. But instead, no one came out of the backyard door. They waited several seconds, until your father stormed toward the door to head inside himself. Richard trailed behind him, not nearly as full of energy. It seemed the would-be fiancé was still feeling dejected, even if the soda from early had already dried.
“Unbelievable,” your father growled, the door of the house slamming open violently with a bang.
Phil and Matty both got up quickly, following the man. They found you and Elaine sitting in the kitchen, you nursing a cup of warm tea and Elaine sitting next to you still attempting to console you. Your father rushed toward you, grabbing you by your shoulders, forcing your gaze away from your cup of tea and to his own red-beet face. The force of his grasp made your elbow knock into the mug, tumbling it to the ground with a sharp crash. 
Elaine gasped sharply before stepping back in shock. Meanwhile, Bear emerged from the living room, his bushy tail stiff in the air in alert and his pointed ears slicked back against his head. He growled and barked furiously at the sight of your father grabbing you. Agape, you stared back at your father in horror, feeling all the muscles in your body suddenly become paralyzed in fear.
“How can you throw away your future just because of your own stubborn self-righteousness?! Didn’t we raise you better than to act so selfishly?!” your father yelled into your face.
Matty quickly grabbed your father’s arm, grabbing him by his gray blazer’s stiff fabric, and pulled him off of you. “Your dumb plan for the night was botched from the start, dad,” he sneered out. “She clearly doesn’t want to marry Richard and this was supposed to be our engagement party to begin with!” he looked at Elaine for a second saying that.
The graying wisps of hair on your fathers were now disheveled and sticking up, his sagging and wrinkled face now flushed with a furious red. He balled his fists as he spoke back to your brother. “What she did, regardless of what day it was, to Richard was unacceptable. Would you ever imagine Elaine treating you in such a way? No, of course not! Because [Y/N] is acting like a child, and an insolent one at that!”
He turned back to glare at you, taking one step further forward. “Richard, come here,” he said, his glower locked on you not wavering.
The tall, dark-haired man strode beside your father. You couldn’t read the expression on his face. You had wounded your ego and in public in front of your friends and family, something he would seldomly allow without biting back. But he remained quiet ever since his botched proposal. Usually he would yell back, make a scene, demand he stay in a hotel for the night, after arguing with you over nonsense. But his silent, narrow-eyed stare bore down on you and made you feel uneasy. There was nothing calm or passive about it.
“So, why don’t we start over, hm? Why don’t the two of you go to the living room to discuss and… reconsider Richard’s proposal once again, yes?” Your father’s gritted teeth betrayed the false air of diplomacy he was trying to prop up.
“I don’t think—” Your brother was caught off.
“[Y/N],” your father said more sternly this time. “Now.”
Your brother wanted to continue to protest, but he knew your father would not take no for an answer right now. Not with his fists balled up and his face as red as it was. So Matty, Phil, and Elaine watched breathlessly as you and Richard walked to the living room by yourselves. Phil noticed how your hands shook ever so slightly, even while you kept your lips pursed and tried to straighten your blouse, desperately clinging onto any semblance of composure before talking to your boyfriend.
Breathing out an exasperated sigh, your father, the man Phil used to revere so much as a child, began to step outside back to the yard. “There better still be some drinks in the cooler. I need one right now,” he muttered. Your mother followed him, obediently, to avoid the thick air of tension that was suffocating everyone in the kitchen.
Phil couldn’t help but let curiosity get the best of him. While Elaine consoled Matty in hushed voices and picked up the broken glass on the kitchen tile, Phil drifted away from them. He could hear Elaine telling Matty that it was okay, that they could hold a smaller, more intimate engagement party next week with just close friends. He knew that he, too, should be trying to console Phil. But he was worried about you. He just couldn’t believe your family was pressuring you to marry.
Phil stood just outside the living room beside its entrance, leaning on his side against the wall and focusing on the little he could hear. Bear padded up to Phil. Much calmer now, the German Shepherd sat down and looked up at Phil with a panting smile. Phil wanted to smile and pet the dog, but instead brought his finger up to his own lips, hoping the dog wouldn’t alert everyone to what Phil was doing.
“—how embarrassed I was left feeling! In front of everybody!” It sounded to Phil like Richard was still furious, still left with his pride injured. He was on the verge of yelling, but kept his voice somewhat hushed. Maybe to avoid drawing even more humiliation to himself tonight.
Your voice was less hushed, a little bolder. “We’ve barely been dating long enough to begin even thinking about marriage, Richard! I told you I wanted to wait!”
Phil carefully peeked into the room just enough to see that the two of you were standing and you had refused to sit on the couch. Richard towered over you, clearly trying to intimidate you. You were trapped between him and the untouched couch. You nervously ran your hand through your hair as Richard continued roughly gripping one of your shoulders with one of his hands. The sight of his hands on you like that made Phil’s skin crawl and stomach lurch. He tried his best to control himself.
“[Y/N],” Richard began again, clearly still annoyed. “You already made a scene with the first proposal. But I’m not giving up on you . And so is your father—”
You scoffed at this and rolled your eyes. 
“So, please. Just stop being so stupid and stubborn for a second, and just say yes so we can both move on ”
You stayed quiet. And Phil’s mind was racing in the midst of your silence. Was it possible you were actually considering it? He remembered you when you were younger, as a kid. You were stubborn, yes, and very outspoken. It’s what stopped any kids from picking on you or your art. But you also never betrayed your own goals, your own ideas and feelings, for the sake of someone else’s preferences. Even if that meant getting into ugly fights with others and giving your mom and dad the silent treatment for weeks. It was one of many qualities in you that Phil remembered admiring, and he hoped that it was a quality that had never diminished during these last fifteen years.
Phil didn’t want to admit it, but he also felt sick to the thought of you getting engaged just when he had finally reunited with you. He felt a nauseating feeling in his gut at the idea of you marrying this, clearly, arrogant guy. Phillip Graves himself was arrogant at times—sassy even, but when it came to the people he cared about, he was never arrogant. When it came to you, he could never be arrogant.
Finally, you did answer. “I already said my thoughts on the subject, Richard,” you said firmly. At that moment, you hoped Richard and your father would respect your wishes more than anything. Once again, you felt like nothing more than a pawn. “I already said no to you once. And now I’m saying it twice. Do I have to say it a third time?”
“Well, neither of us are getting any younger, [Y/N]. If you’re as serious about this relationship as I am, then you should at least be considering marriage with me. If not, then what’s the goddamn point of this? Of any of this with you?” He placed both his hands now on your shoulders, shaking you just a little. “What do you even want out of this?”
Your face seemed almost serene. You didn’t frown, nor did you nervously smile or even produce a grimace. You placed your hands on his that were squeezing your shoulders, gently sliding them off of you and placing them back to his sides. “After tonight, Richard. I can’t give you a straight answer. I don’t know. After this scene you tried to pull despite everything I told you, I can’t say I see a future with you anymore.”
Richard leaned away, almost repulsed by your answer. He scoffed in disbelief, shaking his head furiously. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean? Are you breaking up with me? ”
Phil would’ve started laughing if he didn’t give away the fact he was spying on you and Richard. But he also wanted to beam with pride at seeing you stand up for yourself despite Richard and your dad not ceasing in urging you two to get married. He was glad to see that you never lost your fiery side as you’ve grown. 
“I guess that’s what it is,” you mustered out. “If you can’t stay in a relationship with me without getting married immediately just to make our parents happy, then maybe we just shouldn’t be in a relationship.”
Any shock was replaced with fury. Richard began seething. “You can’t be so goddamn dumb, [Y/N],” he growled out. “Why are you throwing all of this away? We could’ve had a future together, a built home, a nice family. And you’re throwing it all away just because you wanted to make a point about waiting ?!”
You scoffed. “A nice home where you’re calling me an idiot for sticking to my values. Yeah, sure.” You tried to step beside him to walk away, to finally leave this conversation behind and head back to the family that cares about you. 
But instead Richard grabbed you by your forearm, whipping you back toward him and forcing you to face him again. His eyes were now no longer narrow with disdain but wide and dilated with rage. It was a look you only saw on rare occasions, mostly when you had screaming matches after you would “ruin the mood” when he’d try to have sex with you, drunk out of his mind, after one of his work parties. 
“Let me go,” you muttered, your annoyance desperately trying to mask any fear that could be detected in your voice. 
Suddenly, Richard grabbed your face with a hand, squeezing your jaw and cheeks as he did. He forced you to look at him, even while you desperately tried to pull his hand off you, scratching his forearms and trying to push him away. Phil’s heart began racing and he could feel the blood coursing through his body grow hotter. He couldn’t believe his eyes, but all he could focus on was how the solemn look in your eyes was now replaced with one of terror and shining with wet tears beginning to form.
Richard’s fury continued. “I never thought you could be this stupid. Do you even realize what you’re doing to your—”
Phil had enough. He rushed into the room and in what felt like a flash he pushed Richard away from you. You fell onto the couch, watching in horror as Richard tried to fight back against Phil. Sure, Richard was strong and big. But Phil’s hand-to-hand combat had been refined over the years in the Marine Corps. With little struggle, he managed to subdue him, and within seconds, Richard was pinned to the ground. Phil was successful in knocking the air out of Richard, leaving the man breathless and writhing on the floor. 
“What the fuck ! Get off me!! ” Richard growled through gritted teeth.
Phil smirked for a split second before ignoring him. He let Richard crumble to the ground before he went over and tentatively kneeled in front of Y/N. He saw once again furious tears pooling in your eyes threatening to fall . He placed a gentle hand on her knee and gazed up at her. “You okay [Y/N] ? He didn’t hurt you, did he?”
You shook your head, your own hand traveling to your jaw where Richard had roughly grabbed you. “No, I’m fine.” 
He nodded in understanding, still looking at you carefully. While he watched you, he felt Matty and Elaine rush into the room, confusion written on their faces. They saw your small form still sitting on the couch with Phil crouching in front of you while Richard was still getting up from the ground, catching his breath. 
“Th-thanks, Phil,” you said quietly. “I… didn’t know he was gonna lash out like that.”
“ He what ?!” Matty demanded. “Richard, what the hell did you do to my sister?!”
Richard was now back on his feet, he breathed out deeply and glared at Matty. Then he straightened his shirt and painted on his usual smug look of contempt he carried. “I broke up with her. If she’s not taking this relationship seriously, then neither will I.”
“What a load of bullshit,” Matty practically spat the words in Richard's face before grabbing him by his collar. Elaine watched in horror too, scurrying away to the side. Matty dragged him out of the room until both you and Phil lost sight of the two of them. Knowing Matty and his long-lasting hatred for Richard, you were sure he was kicking him out of your parents’ home. 
“Dad is going to be furious,” you mumbled to yourself, but Phil could hear you loud and clear. 
He took a seat next to you on the couch, deciding not to touch you further. He had to remind himself that you were no longer a 12 year old girl, he had to restrain himself from holding you . Yes, you two were very close when both of you were mere teens . But it had been years since you last spoke. Fifteen years to be exact, he didn’t know if you ever counted the days but he did, for some reason that even he couldn’t explain it to himself. He couldn’t overstep his boundaries. So he just pulled his hands back to his lap and sat there, trying to console you as best as he could.
“He’s not always like that… but when he is it gets too much ” you breathed out. Phil tried to listen but he was also acutely aware of how your hand, albeit sweaty from your nerves, felt on his much rougher, larger one. “Matty never liked him. But mom and dad adored him for some reason.”
Phil sighed out. He wished he could say something comforting, something that would chase all your anxieties and fears away. But all he could do was sit there and listen to nothing and everything all at once . Feeling your heat radiate from your side, and he sits besides you only a hair of a touch away. He could lean in and hold you close, and the thought made his heart flutter with nervousness. From here, he could smell how your hair smelled like roses and coconuts—
Before he could drift further away he had to snap back to reality with you still sitting next to him solemnly. How could he think that about you? You were his best friend’s sister for goodness sake… but was he in the wrong to think of you as the pretty woman that you have become? Yes he considered you as a little sister back in the day, but that was a decade and half ago. But now? His heart told him one thing but his brain said something else.
You always carried your emotions on your sleeves. If you were happy, your face would be brighter than the sun. But then if sad, a cloud would particularly be looming over your head. When you were flustered, your face would be brighter than the fresh tomato that his parents would have the cooks pick up from the farmers market And if you were angry, oh man that was something to witness. That was why he always loved teasing you and making you laugh, to get that reaction and to see those emotions. He admired them. But in your grown-up state, he noticed that trait in you lessened. It was as if you were trained to wear a mask that would hide all your emotions. Even now, watching you sit there waiting for the unknown, you try to mask your emotions, hide them in a box and lock it. And discard the keys somewhere where no one can find it. And it hurt Phill to see you in this state. He couldn’t decide which one was worse; having you go through the trauma of facing your now abusive ex boyfriend, or that you were forced to masquerade your emotions.
“I knew the guy for like half an hour, but… yeah, I can say he seems like a dick.” He pursed his lips, but raised his eyebrows when he heard and felt you start to chuckle. “Pun intended” Phil smirked as he looked at you.
“He reminds me of a guy I met back when I first joined MARSOC,” Phil continued. You tore your teary eyes away from your hands and looked at him, listening intently.  “He was big and burly too, but he actually was much more considerate. Hated bullies. Always lending the rest of us a hand if he could see we were struggling.”
You held back a snort. You couldn’t imagine Richard enduring something like Marines training, much less being generous and looking out for others if his skin was on the line. But as a child so many years back, you also couldn’t imagine Phil joining an elite fighting team. Not because he couldn’t work in a team, but because you only saw him as your brother’s best friend who just seemed to play football and video games—not shoot guns and hunt down dangerous men. So, you asked him more. While your mother was off trying to calm your father down, and your brother was getting fresh air to cool down with Elaine, the two of you stayed on the couch. While he did, Bear padded over to both of you, laying down at your feet and surely feeling sleepy already. Phil finally had a chance to reminisce out loud on some of his training days and some missions with the MARSOC Raiders—at least the parts of them he was allowed to tell others about. He even remarked how he had left the Raiders, now working with others to form a new PMC, hence why he was back in Texas. 
While you sat listening and while your tears dried, you couldn’t help but feel admiration bloom inside your chest for him. Admiration and… something familiar you still couldn’t put your finger on. Yes, you were thrilled to have him back in your life, someone you might’ve called your best friend as a young girl. You felt some nostalgia, of course. You felt like you were truly back home for the first time, even after visiting home a few times already after moving in with Richard. Still, while he spoke and you listened intently, you couldn’t help but admire how his lips moved when he smirked as he remembered something cheeky he did, or how his brows furrowed tightly and his jaw clenched when a difficult memory flashed for him. Or how he’d sometimes run his hand across the side of his head, his light brown hair getting disheveled for just a few moments without his knowing. It made you smile for a few seconds before returning your focus to his words. But even while you concentrated on him and his stories, you couldn’t ignore the fluttering of butterflies in your stomach and the way your palms sweat when you noticed him gazing at you several times.
For a moment, it felt good to disconnect from your world, from the drama and yelling of your parents and Richard. Delving into Phil’s past several years away from your hometown felt like finding an oasis in a harsh, unforgiving desert. Your racing heart that you felt when Richard had glowered down at you in furious disbelief moments ago had diminished, now a comforting lull in your chest as you listened to Phil’s familiar voice. But it was short-lived, and it made you realize, yes, this was just one night, when your parents both walked in.
Your father’s face was less red, but the tired look in his eyes made you know that he was still disappointed. “Your mother and I are heading to bed.” He pursed his lips into a thin line when he looked at you. He had so much he wanted to say to you, so much he wanted to yell too. But your mother next to him nudged him with her elbow and cleared her throat. He shook himself out of his death stare and instead looked at the man beside you. “It was, uh… good to see you, Phillip. Please give your father my regards when you see him. It’s been a while since we’ve emailed each other.”
Phil nodded curtly but said nothing in response. Next to you, he could feel how tense you still were. He didn’t want this conversation to drag on any longer. Without another word, your parents left the living room, finally retiring to their bedroom up upstairs. But replacing your parents’ spot in the living room’s entrance came Matty and Elaine. 
Elaine yawned. “How are y’all not tired yet?” 
“We’re going to be heading to the guest room in a bit. But by all means, let me know if you need anything. Just knock on our door or give me a call. I’m here.” Matty gave you a reassuring smile. 
Phil glanced down at his watch—you remember it as the same rolex that his dad had given him for his sixteenth birthday and that Phil only begrudgingly accepted.
“Jesus, time sure flies. It’s already one in the morning.” He huffed, feigning sleepiness,  and looked at you with pursed lips. He placed an earnest hand over his chest. “I’m sorry to have kept you awake so long, [Y/N].” 
You shook your head frantically. “No, don’t apologize, Phil. Catching up on what you’ve been up to has meant the world to me.”
Hit with sudden realization, Phil widened his eyes slightly. “[Y/N], do you need a place to sleep tonight?” The thought of you returning to your hotel room with your furious ex-boyfriend made his chest tighten. 
You shook your head. “No, I’ll just be sleeping in Matty’s room for the rest of my stay. So I'll be hanging around here for a while.” You honestly weren’t in a rush to return to Seattle immediately, just to have to see Richard glowering at you from every corner of his apartment. He was going to have to find a new roommate quickly.
Your brother wrapped his arm warmly around Elaine, bringing her sleepy body closer to him comfortingly. “See you two around,” he said before turning around and heading up the same stairs your parents had climbed earlier.
Phil got up from the couch, and you followed. You straightened your skirt as he rubbed the back of his neck, almost sheepishly. “Really, I mean it. I hope I didn’t bore the hell out of you, [Y/N].”
The two of you began to walk to the front door, Phil pulling out his car keys from his pockets. “No, Phil. I’m being honest. Just getting to sit and hear you speak for a while has really helped me. I’m—I feel a lot better now. Thanks to you.” You watched as he opened the door but then you realized he also is technically only visiting town. “Wait. Do-do you have a place to stay?”
He paused. He shut the door that he had left slightly ajar before, as he turned to look at you. “Oh, yeah I’m staying back at my parents’ place. They rent out the first floor as an AirBnB sometimes, especially since they mostly spend time with my uncle in St. Augustine in Florida. But they’re letting me stay on the second floor now that I’m back home for a while as I work things out.” He smiled warmly. He couldn’t help but find it endearing how you worried where he was staying as well. 
You let out a soft sigh. “Good.” You were relieved to hear not only that he wasn’t staying in some sketchy motel but that it was back in his childhood home, where you and him had spent so much time watching TV and pranking Matty on your weekends off of school. 
He leans in slightly. “That’s right,” he said in a low voice. “If you wanna come by tomorrow, we can hang out. I’ll even cook you something.” He smirked. 
You felt your heart leap and your face heat up furiously. You prayed that he couldn’t tell how flustered you felt. You tried to play it off smoothly. You tried to suppress the huge grin from growing on your lips and said, “I’ll think about it.”
Phil nodded and turned the doorknob again, getting ready to head out. “You better, or I’ll come by and snatch you myself.”
Your heart did backflips again at this. The image of eating dinner with him flashed in your mind, and you felt like your brain was short-circuiting. But you had to say something back, you had to answer without melting down. You desperately kept your composure but let out an airy laugh, one you hoped didn’t give away your nerves. “Goodnight, Phil. I’ll see you later.” 
You followed him, stepping outside to your front porch as you watched him heading back to his black sedan parked by the side of the house. You couldn’t help but watch him as he walked with the same confident strides from when he was your childhood crush, his keys jangling in his hands. 
As he pressed his car key’s FOB and and his car beeped, unlocking, he turned and glanced at you. He felt breathless as he saw as your hair blew in the cool nighttime breeze. But he didn’t want to give away how he, too, was gazing at you for too long. “Go inside, [Y/N],” he laughed. “You’re gonna catch a cold like that.”
You groaned and rolled your eyes. “Just making sure you’re gonna head out safely, Phil,” you called back, feigning annoyance. He shook his head and chuckled as he stepped into his car, headlights turning on and engine rumbling. 
You turned around and headed back inside, closing the front door but quickly scampering to the window to look through the blinds until you saw his car disappear down the road. 
Even after chatting with him all night, you still couldn’t believe Phil Graves had somehow returned to your life.
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humanbug · 1 year
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I wanna see some more fics with Abby and lev, so could you write teacher!reader x Abby, where reader is a mentor/therapist/friend to all of the kids of the fireflies/kid's they've rescued and Abby and reader meet through Lev (cause Lev and reader are besties) thanks ☺️
Love ya! 💖
Truly Endearing
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CAROLINEEEE this was literally SUCH a good request ٩(*•͈ ꇴ •͈*)و ̑̑ you are amazing ily (ෆ˙ᵕ˙ෆ)♡i hope you enjoy!!! also yall lmk if you want this to have a part two!!
warning(s): talks about religion, mention of past abuse (seraphites hurting Lev)
You press your palms against the mug you're holding and burrow your toes into the blanket wrapped around you as you listen diligently to Lev as he speaks. Letting out a quiet hum or nodding your head every few seconds. Your eyes focus on the scars on his cheeks and he talks. They had faded since he first got to the stadium, which was very troubling to him. 
This poor kid has been through the wringer and he’s only thirteen. The biggest cause of his anxiety is the ‘Prophet’ and his severe confusion regarding religion. It was a fair cause of anxiety and was one that even you struggled with sometimes and was the reason he confided in you so often. He was a sweet kid and you didn’t mind him seeking comfort in your character. 
Lev had been found collapsed about a mile from the stadium about a year and a half ago, his frail body battered and bruised. He had been dumped by the scars for shaving his head. An eleven-year-old boy…beaten and dumped, for shaving his head. He was rushed to the stadium and Isaac had permitted his stay. It had taken some slight convincing but the patrol that had found him was able to get Isaac on board with it, apparently it was someone who was high-ranking in his eyes. 
You had met Lev when he was finally healthy enough to begin attending classes. You taught a horticulture class on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and you would almost never take assignments that led to you leaving the stadium. You knew it was a useless moral to uphold given the world you lived in but you heavily frowned upon war and violence, an opinion often kept to yourself. You often wondered if the kids could sense that in you and in turn, sought comfort in you. Lev, however, had stuck around the longest. He had told you about his guardian but you had yet to meet her, she was often on assignment, sometimes for days on end. And so, any time not spent with her, he spent with you, either in your classroom, the canteen, the garden, but usually the library. The latter is where you currently found yourself. 
Taking a sip of the tea in your mug, you mull over how to reply to Lev’s ranting, “You know Lev, religion is a complicated thing, for a lot of people. My mother would often tell me that even before the outbreak, religion was a source of anxiety for a lot of people. Everyone wanted – no, they needed answers.” 
“It was?”, he folds his legs up to his chest, resting his chin on his knees, “How did…people learn how to deal with it?”, his voice is small when he speaks, you can tell he’s getting tired. How long had you two even been down here? It must be getting late…
Biting the inside of your cheek and pursing your lips you hum, “Well, they would do exactly what we’re doing. Talk about it, about their fears. They asked questions just like you’re doing. There wasn’t always an answer but that’s okay.”, you give a warm smile.
Lev sighs and his face twists as he thinks. You let out a small laugh in the form of a puff of air from your nose. His expressive eyes raise to meet yours and his brows furrow in confusion. 
“What? Did I say something funny?”, he asks.
You chuckle as you speak, “No, Lev. You didn’t say anything funny. You are just very expressive when you think and I find it endearing.”
Tilting his chin in confusion, “Endearing?”
“It means to look at someone with admiration or to find something – or someone – very likable. I find it very sweet how expressive your face is. It’s a very authentic trait that not a lot of people possess anymore.”, you take a sip of your tea and observe his reaction over the lip of your mug.
You bite back a smile as you can see the gears turning and he processes your words as the compliment they were intended to be. He opens his mouth to give you a response when his attention is snagged by someone calling his voice from behind you. 
“Lev! Jesus there you are. I’ve been looking everywhere for you. What’re you doing down here so late?”, a smooth voice speaks from behind you, worry and relief intertwining as they speak. 
Not wanting Lev to be in any trouble, you tilt your body around and look up at the person the voice is attached to and speak before you can truly look at them, “Oh! It’s my fault! Please don’t be mad at Lev. I am usually better at paying attention to the time.”, you look up and see a pair of blue eyes. Oh…oh my god. Is this Lev’s guardian!? Ohh boy. 
“Abby, this is the horticulture teacher I have told you about.”, Lev introduces you to Abby and reminds her of your name.
You offer her a hand to shake, the angle only slightly awkward since you’re still sitting on the loveseat, “Hi! It’s so nice to meet you!”, your hand lingers and for a split second you fear she won’t shake it. However a beat later her hand clasps yours, her hands are rough and calloused from years of combat. They are also a very warm contrast to your freezing hands and it causes a small shiver to flow through you. 
“It’s nice to meet you too. I uh– I’m sorry for interrupting. I just– I stopped by Lev’s room and got nervous when he wasn’t there.”, a slight blush rises under her freckles and she shifts on her feet. God, she’s cute. 
“Oh, it’s okay! We’ve been chatting for a few hours and should probably head up anyway.”, you shift your attention to Lev, “You ready?”
Lev’s eyes are heavy with sleep as he nods his head. You chuckle and rise up with your now empty mug in hand and wrap your blanket around your shoulders. As the three of you walk out of the library you shoulder off your blanket and wrap it around Lev’s frame, the blanket practically swallowing him whole. Sensing Abby’s eyes, you look over Lev’s head at her and offer a warm smile. She offers an awkward smile in return. 
You wave ‘bye’ to Lev as he walks into his room and Abby shuts the door, bidding him a good night.
“I’m uh– the floor above so…”, you shift on your feet, suddenly feeling like a shy teenager, “It was nice to meet you Abby. Have a good night.”, you smile and take a step back. 
“I’ll walk you to your room!”, she rushes out and then clears her throat, “It’s late…you shouldn’t walk back alone.”, she runs a hand on the back of her neck and you can’t help but glance at the way her arm flexes. 
Biting back a smile you speak in a quiet voice, “Okay. Thank you.”
Turning on your heels you begin walking and she falls in stride with you. 
“Lev’s a good kid. He didn’t deserve what he had to go through.”, you say in an attempt at small talk. 
“Yeah…he– I wish I could do better by him. He deserves–”
“Hey now. You’re doing your best.”, you cut her off in a stern voice. Head turned to look at her with a serious expression, “I mean it, Abby. He– that kid loves you so much. You are doing just fine with the resources you’ve been given. Don’t discredit yourself.”
Her cheeks flush at the unexpected praise and she runs a hand along the back of her neck, “Yeah…I guess I never thought of it like that. I– thank you…that means a lot.”
Giving her a smile as she holds the door to the stairwell open for you. Your shoulder brushes against her on “accident”. You feel your face flush at the firmness of her body. Jesus christ what are you doing…you don’t even know this woman, take it easy.
As you climb the stairwell and walk down the long hall you make pleasant small talk with each other. You arrive at your door and your hands fiddle through your jeans in search of your keys. Doing your absolute best to hide the slight shake of your clammy hands you slide the key into the door. 
Your eyes drift over to Abby as she leans against the wall, watching you. A small wave of confidence washes over you and you let a hand gently run over Abby’s forearm as you speak, “It was really nice meeting you Abby. I hope I’ll be seeing you more?”, you tilt your head slightly. 
Your ego blooms at the vibrant shade of pink that blooms under her dusty freckles. She clears her throat before she speaks, “Y–yeah. It was really nice meeting you too. I’d– I’d like that.”
“Good night Abby”, you say quietly and step into your room. Body resting against the door once it’s closed. You grin at nothing in particular like a silly teenager. “Jesus Christ, do I have a crush!?”, you mumble to yourself as you slip your shoes off. You haven’t had a crush in…well…years? This’ll be interesting.
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we-were-beautiful · 1 year
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Girl Dad! Eris headcannons
So I was scrolling through the tags some of yall put on the reblogs for Girl Dad! Cassian and I saw one for Girl Dad! Eris, and I couldn’t help myself. Now this is not an exhaustive list but there are some aspects that I want to explore for down the road in my The Fox and The Hounds series so Imma keep those to myself 
Now Before I go into my thoughts and feels on the subject; 10/10 you all should go check out @redbleedingrose they have a phenomenal Girl Dad! Eris series going on, and are over all just an excellent writer in general. but alas I am terrible at making new friends so I have not reached out to message them about how much I love their works
Oh Yeah Eris is the girl dad to end all girl dads. Like all said and done he and his mate have around 9 girls. 
I don’t think Eris ever wanted a son just given his upbringing with his brothers. I feel like with every girl his mate Eris always breaths a small sigh of relief when the healers announce that it is a girl. 
These girls are also beloved by the people of the Autumn Court. Where Eris and his brothers had a reputation for cruelty under Beron’s rule, these girls have been raised to be kind and polite. With the older ones the Fae of the court were a little wary but by the time the last few came around they are seen as precious gems of the court. 
This is not  to say that they are weak. They are kind but they also have the fire of the Autumn court running through their veins and are fiercely protective of their family. They have been trained both by Eris and his surviving younger brothers. 
Now Eris and his mate don’t have any children until after the events under the mountain. If Eris had it his way they wouldn’t have had any children until his father had been dealt with. But life finds a way and The mated pair welcomes their first babe within a year after they return to the Autumn court. 
The second babe is a catalyst for kickstarting Beron’s demise. One his mate told him she was expecting the second babe Eris starts with his plans and before their second baby girl makes her grand entrance to the world Eris is the new high lord.  
I think that once Beron is gone that the remaining Vanserra brothers stop trying to actively kill one another now that the main antagonizer isn’t pitting them against one another. There is a lot of healing to be done between the remaining 5 Vanserra boys, but their nieces bring them all together. The girls try to not have favorites but the youngest has openly declared that Lucien is her favorite.  
The smoke hounds are very protective of the babes it is not unusual to see two or three of them watching the babes at any given time. Anyone that is not familiar to them or the nanny is not allowed near their Masters. Typically new staff members are warned about this but every now and then some young stupid sentry gets what the hounds deem to be too close to the babes and they end up on the business end of hounds that have been used to hunt people in the past. 
There is an incident shortly after the birth of their first daughter. Someone thought it would be a smart idea to kidnap the newborn of the Heir of Autumn. (I plan on going into this further in my Fox and the Hounds series so I’m not going to go too much farther into this) It did not end well for the kidnapper, Eris has a reputation of being sadistic like Beron and not all of it is rumor. 
Eris is not the disciplinarian in the household, and it's not that he is a pushover that lets his children walk all over him. No, he has a fear that he is going to turn into Beron who was very abusive to Eris and his brothers growing up.
Eris does have anxiety over this to the point that he doesn’t trust himself to discipline any children that he and his mate have. As parents they are strict but not suffocatingly so, they have reasonable standards set for their girls who are generally known as the most well behaved bunch of the second generation. 
It is not uncommon to see Eris cradling one of his babes during a meeting  once he becomes Highlord. He has also been known to completely stop meeting if one of his girls comes into the room. This male will stop whatever he is doing when one of his little ladies wants his attention. He wants them to know that they are more important to him than work so that they don’t grow up thinking that their father doesn't care about them. 
Now the girls do grow up rather tomboyish, yes they like the silk and jewels of court like most girls do but they also enjoy running through the woods, joining Eris on hunts with the hounds. Playing knights in the forest, building fortresses and houses out of branches and leaves, these girls live for the outdoors. Sometimes it seems like the girls spend more time running around in the woods rather than in the forest house.  Eris enjoys showing them the things he would have loved to do with his brothers when they were young but was unable to thanks Beron’s a+ parenting methods. 
The family does have a cabin tucked away deep in the forest of the Autumn court. While it is a little tight with the amount of people and dogs when everyone is there, it is where some of Eris' fondest memories have been made. It is the families private getaway from the court and they spend as much time as possible there.  
On the topic of hounds all of the girls love their parents many hounds; each bonding to one or two hounds as they grow. Eris does give his babes a puppy once they reach an age where they can be responsible to take care of it. All said and done the Vanserra household has just shy of 30 dogs.  
All in all Eris is such a good dad to all his children and along this journey of parenting there is a lot of healing within both the Autumn court and the Vanserra family
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