#mom's weekend and the winter solider

[digenerate-trash]

All of my teacher head cannons are based on my experiences with real teachers. 

that being said: 

More teacher head cannons!!! 

(this time I rated them on how well I think they would be as a teacher)

Doren

Lowkey would fuck a student if they got consent.

Gives off “I have a daddy kink” energy but not the cool kind 

Calls students Good boy/girl to gauge their reactions.

Will give extra homework to the whole class if one dude pisses them off

Has a ‘I’m the cool’ teacher thing going on but is really the most uncool bitch in the whole world. 

Would spit on you if he could get away with it. 

Is absolutely a bitch that says “I don’t know CAN you?” when you just need to piss

Will put stickers on your tests that say generic shit like “good job” and “wonderful” 

No one gets graded above a 95% because he personally believes that he knows better than every student and even some teacher's real “I'm the smartest man in this school” energy 

Will put on movies at the end of the year because he doesn't feel like teaching the last week 

Overall 2/10 I’m not learning shit in this class (out of spite.)

Mason

Needs approval from everyone for everything. 

Probably just learning the ropes as a teacher 

The cool teacher. 

Everyone wants a piece of this man and he just wants to swim

Could literally convince him the sky was purple he's a gullible mess

Gym body but puppy personality 

Would throw hands at anyone who harassed any of his students. 

Gentle teaching methods. Sometimes super effective but some students use it to coast

Super easy to get sidetracked

Undiagnosed ADHD man 

Students openly flirt with him and he's got no clue how to respond so he's just like “Haha good joke” 

Would not fuck a student no matter what, 

Clueless about other teachers and the inner politics going on at the school 

Stay in his lane king 

Absolutely started off as a lifeguard and doesn't know how his life got here

6/10 I’m a big fan of your class but it's only because it's easy. 

River

Virgin. 

Has a full life outside of school 

Like two years away from retirement 

When the class gets too out of hand wants to curl up and die right there

Stressed as hell 24/7 

Never married never will be 

Teaching style is harsh as hell but will stay after school or give up their lunch break to help out students who are struggling 

No days off in this class it doesn't matter if your exams are done. School is school and you will learn as long as you are here

Doesn't play favourites but he seriously should. 

Hates Doren (just has a bad feeling about the dude) 

5/10 I'm trying my best dude please stop saying you know I can my reach potential if I applied myself. Its math. I'm not gonna apply myself

Sirris

Says she “knows what I'm going through” but I doubt her science teacher was a MILF. 

Why are you always wearing low-cut tops??? 

At least one rumor about how a student fucked her over her desk and it was so good she hentai came. 

Gentle teaching style but doesn't take any shit. 

Has considered slapping students but never would 

Personal stories that tie into the lesson somehow 

Talks all the time about how much she loves her kid and how much of an angel he is 

Would love to get a tiny kiss on the head from her. Please

She brings a lot of momma bird energy to the class. 

Will touch your shoulder very gently 

Will then look over your test and say to the whole class “Remember to read the questions on the test carefully”

A student has absolutely called her ‘mom’ by accident and she feels flattered by that

Will put on bill nye on Fridays after a test to give everyone a break. 

8/10 Either adopt me or let me make out with you. I'm dealing with confusing feelings! 

Winter

Bro if Sirris is a MILF winter is like a super MILF with no kids. 

Big BDSM lesbian energy. 

Her weekends are booked solid and she has no time for school life to get involved with that. 

Wears SFW leather accents all the time no matter the weather. 

Has decided that instead of gray hair they want platinum blonde and they are rocking it 

Calls her students good boys/girls out of habit. 

Absolutely could beat any of the other teachers in a fight. 

She's super passionate about history and has several antiques which she considers priceless. 

Students who mock her subject are always sorry after she lectures them. 

She's happy to help students during lunch. But not after school. She has boundaries 

Overall 8/10. Im not confused. Fuck me into the historically accurate pillary with your massive strap. Im fucking ready. 

Leighton

Evil. 

Will fuck students without their consent 

Absolutely blackmails students and teachers. 

Dude jacks it under his desk at school while he watches porn after using his admin pass to get passed the website blockers. 

Will send teachers an NSFW link and then mark them for disciplinary action for clicking on it. (Mason will fall for this trick every time) 

Has never and will never hire an outside consultant or HR representative claiming its a ‘waste of resources’ 

Dude will rub his hard dick on your back while you're sitting in his office for detention. 

Piss kink. Don't ask me for evidence. I just get this /feeling/

Will take a long weekend more than a couple of times a year just for the fun of it. But will never allow the same grace to any other teacher. 

Has a file of his favourite students that he meticulously plans to molest. It's like a black book. 

Bro obviously watches teacher/student porn or 18yr/old man porn at school. 

Teaching style is fucking old school. Reinforcement through pain/ruler. Writing lines. Detention sessions are just holding a penny between your knees and standing in the corner with a dunce cap on. 

Plays favourites but if you are his favourite fucking watch your back. 

0/10 I’m not learning shit. And also I dread office visits. If you touch me I'm calling the police.

#dol content #degrees of lewdity #degrees of lewdity teachers #doren the english teacher #mason the swimming teacher #river the maths teacher #sirris the science teacher #winter the history teacher #leighton the headteacher

[stranger-fanfiction-n-things]

CHAPTER 1: THE VANISHING OF WILL BYERS

This is an Original Character fanfiction. All Stranger Things characters and content are owned by Netflix and The Duffer Brothers.

a/n: These parts are going to mostly be about world building and context. We see how Diana navigates in her relationships with her friends, her perception of popularity, etc. Her personality in general!

Warnings: Mentions of sexual implications. Bullying.

Word Count: 2028

Masterlist

PROLOGUE || PART I || PART II || PART III

HAWKINS HIGH

I switch seats with Mom once we approached the end of Dearborn and Maple and she drives the rest of the way to school. She drops me off at Hawkins High and I kiss her cheek before I leave and say goodbye to Lucas and Erica. The parking lot is teeming with people. Some getting dropped off by their parents like me and others with their own cars and motorcycles. It’s loud in the parking lot, groups of people scattered screaming and gossiping about the latest trends and fashions or what they did on the weekend. 

A gust of wind blows and I clench my arms to my side bracing myself against the winter wind. Brushing my hair away from my face, I glance around the parking lot for Nancy or Barbara. Usually, I see them as soon as my mom drops me off. I am startled by a loud sputtering van in the lot. It drives past me trailing puffs of smoke behind it. I wrinkle my nose at the heavy smell of gas and tuck my head into my coat. 

“Diana, wait up!”

I turn around and Nancy is jogging toward me from the parking lot. She smiles at me and I return it looking at her outfit. 

“You look so cute!” I gush. Nancy blushes. 

“Thank you. You do too!” 

The first school bell rings warning students first period was about to begin. Students and teachers bustle about rushing to their respective classrooms. Thankfully our lockers are in the main hallway and we don’t have to travel far to change our books for first period. 

“How were rehearsals last night?” Nancy asks. 

“Tiring. You know we never end on time.” 

“That is one thing I don’t miss about Madame Petrovna.” 

“So, did he call?” A voice says behind us. 

I jump for the second time this morning nearly dropping my books on the floor. Barbara laughs behind me and I playfully hit her shoulder. 

“Keep your voice down.” Nancy scolds, looking around. 

Barbara rolls her eyes dramatically while walking with us. “Did he?” she whispers. 

My eyes grow wide and I move closer to Barb. “Steve called you last night?” 

Nancy smiles shyly. “I was going to tell you, but I knew you were probably tired from rehearsals.”  

“Lady Di needs a solid eight hours of beauty sleep,” Barb teases and I roll my eyes. 

“Ha. Ha.” I say, fighting back a smile. 

“I told you, it’s not like that.” Nancy looks at us. A light shade of pink warms her cheeks. 

Barb and I exchange a knowing look. 

“Okay, I mean yes, he likes me, but not like that.” Nancy quickly corrects herself. “We only made out a couple of times.” 

“We just…made out a couple of times.” Barb mimics, looking dreamily up at the ceiling. I giggle leaning my head on her arm. 

We approach our lockers. Nancy and I’s are two lockers apart and Barb stands in the empty space waiting for us. I add my lock combination and press down opening my locker. Rising on relevé, I switch out my books shoving the ones I need in my book bag. I take off my jacket, folding it neatly in my locker before closing it. 

“Ever the ballerina you are, Diana.” 

I huff, dropping to my feet. “It’s not my fault. They gave me the top locker again.” 

Barb looks at Nancy who is still toying with her lock. 

“Nance, seriously. You’re gonna be so cool now, it’s ridiculous.” 

Nancy shakes her head. “No, I’m not.” 

I walk to stand beside Barb, resting my head on her arm. She smells like floral perfume. 

“You better still hang out with us, that’s all I’m saying.” 

Nancy looks at us, lips slightly ajar in disbelief for us to think such a thing. She turns back to her locker finally opening it, mouth opening and closing as she fought to find the words. Barb and I have talked about this before. Once we realized Nancy was enjoying the attention she got from Steve. We feared she would eventually get so popular; she won’t want to be friends with us anymore. 

“If you become friends with Tommy H., or Carol—” Barb says. 

“Oh, that’s gross! I’m telling you; it was just a one-time…” 

I arch my brow and Nancy blushes again. “…two-time thing.” 

I don’t know why Nancy bothers to deny how much she likes Steve Harrington to us. She can deny all she wants, but Barb and I know the truth. She is absolutely smitten. Who wouldn’t be? Steve “The Hair” Harrington is the most popular boy in school. The captain of the basketball team and co-captain of the swim team. Everyone at Hawkins High worships the ground he walks on. Girls lust over him, boys envy him. If you weren’t popular or climbing the social food chain to be popular, Steve didn’t notice you. But he noticed Nancy and that meant something, right? 

It’s not like I don’t like Steve Harrington. I just feel uncomfortable around him. Especially because he is friends with Tommy H and Carol. The two most meanspirited and downright awful people at Hawkins High.  I don’t understand why Steve hangs out with them and deep down, I don’t think he knows either. Nancy looks down in her locker and reaches for a piece of paper. Biting her bottom lip, she opens the note. Barb and I lean in reading over her shoulder. 

              Meet me. Bathroom – Steve 

“You were saying?” Barb comments.  

I lift my head off Barb’s arm overcome with dread. She’s not actually considering…

“Nance, we have first period in three minutes.” 

“I know, I know,” she replies, slamming her locker shut. “But I’m sure he just wants to talk to me about something.” 

“Nancy—” 

“It’ll be quick! I promise. Save me a seat!” 

She runs excitedly down the hall. He doesn’t like me like that. I feel Barb’s arm around my shoulders and I deflate, peering up at her. She gazes down at me, and the slight curl of her lips tells me she feels the same way. Yes, we were happy for her, but what if…what if our fears came true? 

The first half of the day goes by in a blur. Dozens of students make their way to the cafeteria for lunch. Nancy showed up to class late with a flush face and slightly swollen lips. Barb and I exchanged knowing looks. The cafeteria was like the watering hole in a safari. Everyone met in the middle to mingle and socialize. I often brought a lunch to school, refusing to eat cafeteria food after I got food poisoning from eating the mac and cheese. Nancy and Barbara joined the lunch line and I went into the crowd to find a table.  

I pick a clean table in the centre of the cafeteria and sit down, pulling a paper bag out of my book bag. One by one, I take out each item lining them neatly on the table. A cucumber and cream cheese sandwich, sliced granny smith apples, a bag of salted pretzels and a bottle of water. 

“Talk about anal retentive.” I hear someone say. 

I peer up and sure enough, the jock team are sitting one table away from me. Tommy H grins and Carol Perkins laughs. 

“Hey, Princess!” Carol calls out and it’s anything but a compliment. 

“Princess of Anal,” Tommy H adds, winking at me. I scowl at his crudeness. 

Carol throws her head back and laughs along with Jason Carver and the other cronies I don’t know the names of. Steve Harrington looks at me. He’s not laughing but he’s not stopping them from making fun of me either. 

“Look at how she’s sitting. Like relax little miss perfect.” Carol adds. Her obnoxious bubble gum chewing makes me want to throw pretzels at her. 

“I bet she shits diamonds ‘cause she’s so uptight.” Jason says. 

“I know a tight asshole when I see one.” Tommy H says. Carol punches him in the chest and he laughs along with the whole table.

Everyone except Steve Harrington. I curl my hands into fists by my sides. 

“Let her eat in peace, guys.” Steve finally says. Tommy H and Carol roll their eyes. 

“Whatever man,” Tommy H replies, shaking his head. But he leaves me alone. 

Steve Harrington looks at me and nods his head. My frown deepens. Am I supposed to say thank you? I unbutton my cardigan and take it off, suddenly feeling hot with embarrassment. 

“Turkey, mashed potatoes, and corn today,” Barb says, placing the tray of food on the table. She sits across me effectively blocking my view of Steve who is still looking at me. “Are you okay, Diana?” 

I look at Barb, forcing a smile. “Yes, I’m fine!” I look at her tray of food, wrinkling my nose. “I can’t believe you eat that food. I swear it’s all out of a can.” 

“Not everyone has a mom willing to make them lunches every day. Us common folk have to resort to cafeteria food.” 

Nancy soon joins the table sitting beside me, not before looking at Steve. I look at my sandwich before taking a bite. I chew for a moment and swallow. 

“So, I was thinking,” I begin. “We should go to the store and get some snacks before we go to your house, Nance.” 

“Ou! Yes! I’ve been craving potato chips today.” 

“Oh, and skittles!” I add. 

“Yes!” 

Barb and I look at Nancy waiting for her response but she is moving her loose corn around her plate. 

“Nance?” I ask, nudging her arm. “Are you okay?” 

“Hm? Yes, I’m fine. I’m great!” 

I arch my brow at her. Something was on her mind. Barb and I waited patiently for her to speak. Nancy drops her fork with a sigh. “Steve and I were…y’know.” 

“Making out.” Barb finishes for her. Nancy’s eyes widen and her face turns bright pink. 

“Well, he wanted to hang out with me and I was so caught up in…” 

“Making out.” Barb says, shovelling mashed potatoes in her mouth. 

“Ugh. Yes. Making out…” she clenches her eyes shut. “And I told him he could meet up at my house at 8.” She pushed the last few words out so fast i almost didn’t hear her and I was sitting beside her. 

“Nancy!” Barb exclaims. 

“To study!” Nancy emphasizes. 

A visible shudder runs through my body and I frown processing what Nancy said. Suddenly losing my appetite, I place my sandwich on the saranwrap. 

“You’re cancelling for Steve?” I say. My voice is calm, but my hands are shaking. 

“I’m not cancelling!” Nancy claims earnestly, touching my arm. “We can still study just after…”  

“We have to leave.” I finish, looking at Barb. 

“No! You guys don’t have to! We can all hang out together. With the potato chips and skittles.” 

My frown deepens. Three of us hang out with Steve? Since when did Steve study? He got a C in Kaminsky’s class. He can’t even help us. If Steve comes, that means Tommy H and Carol will be invited and take over with their unpleasantries. Tension in the air manifested in my body language. 

“You know what?” Barb speaks to diffuse the tension. “It’s fine. You and Steve can study. Diana and I will study together tonight, right Diana?” 

I shake my head scoffing in disbelief. It was Nancy’s idea to study at her house in the first place and now she was ditching us for Steve Harrington? It was already happening. Nancy was changing. We all know study is code name for making out. I clear my throat sitting up straight and begin to pack my lunch back in the crumpled paper bag. 

“I just remembered I have to go to the library to look for a book for my history paper.” I say, picking up my cardigan and book bag. 

“Aw, Diana.” Barb says sadly. 

“I’ll see you guys in chemistry, okay?” I force a smile and walking through the tables. 

“Diana. Don’t go.” Nancy pleads. 

I don’t turn around.  

#black fem reader #stranger things #stranger things fic #stranger things rewrite #steve harrington x reader #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson fanfic #Steve Harrington fanfic #stranger things oneshot #DianaSinclair #eddie munson x black!reader #steve harrington x black!reader #sinclair!reader

[kelyon]

Courtship 5: Outfit

Lacey figures out what she's going to wear on her date

Read on AO3

The pile of clothes covered Lacey’s twin bed. She’d spent the better part of an hour matching blouses with slacks with sweaters in a vain attempt to find the magic combination that would make her look less like the president of the student council and more like Mr. Gold’s perfect slut. 

Nothing worked. So far, her best options were to wear her summer sundress in the middle of winter with no coat, or to take a pair of scissors to the long black skirt she had worn to her mother’s funeral. That last one might have been an option, if she had a sewing machine like Mara. But she didn’t, and showing up at Mr. Gold’s house wearing unhemmed rags was probably as bad an idea as showing up wearing pants. If she had a sleeveless top, she might consider wearing the skirt as it was. She could try to go for a sort of hippy, Bohemian look. But the most revealing blouse Lacey French owned had puffed-up sleeves, like a fucking five-year-old. 

Groaning, she fell backwards onto the pile. Some of this stuff she had got in middle school. The fact that they still fit her had been an advantage every time she’d decided to spend her limited funds on books instead of clothes, but it also meant that Lacey had never aged up her personal style. She didn’t have anything that made her look or feel like an adult. 

The purple-blue dress shimmered in her dirty clothes hamper. She had jumped the gun by wearing her only sexy outfit on her first date with Mr. Gold. She had set the bar too high. Now he would have expectations of how Miss French liked to dress. More than that, Mr. Gold in his suits had standards. If she met him looking like a mess, he’d drive off and leave her on the curb.

At least he didn’t seem to mind if she left him looking like a mess. He hadn’t minded bringing her home with a wrinkled skirt and no stockings or underwear. She wanted that to happen again, but before it could, Lacey had to look presentable. None of her clothes were cutting it. She had to take action. 

She pulled a white button-up off the pile and rubbed a smear of foundation over her hickey. Then she went downstairs into the shop. Dad was sitting by the cash register, looking through a faded design book. 

Mom had known all the designs for bouquets and arrangements by heart, but Dad always needed to double check with the book. 

“Anything happen today?” Lacey asked.

He shook his head, didn’t look up.

“We should call up everyone who ordered from us last year and remind them that V-day is in less than three weeks.”

“They know,” he grumbled. “This time of year, no one has any money. The men at Fish King will get paid on Friday, that’s when the orders will start. But they won’t really pick up until the next payday, the eleventh.”

He was right. It happened like that every year. All the orders came in at the very last minute. Valentine’s Day weekend was two solid days of constant work getting everything put together. 

And it was too far away to do Lacey any good.   

“So I’m guessing this is not a good time to discuss the subject of me ever getting paid for the hours I put in?”

Her father looked at her like she had just told an offensive joke that wasn’t even funny. Had his eyes always been so bloodshot? Had he always looked like a sad cartoon dog?

“You keep your tips.” He looked down at the book again. “You have money when the store has money, when we’re not racking up daily fees from that bastard Gold.”

“Yeah, I figured.” Lacey rubbed her hands on her jeans. “Just thought I’d ask.”

Of course Dad didn’t have any money to give her. That was their whole problem. Game of Thorns was a family business, the only income any of them had. For as long as she’d worked in the store, her pay had come in the form of food and shelter. Her reward for helping keep the place open was that it stayed open. It might not have been unreasonable to ask for more, but she knew it was unattainable. 

“Ask again when Valentine’s is over,” Dad said. “We get out of this hole… I’ll try to make something work.”

She’d heard that before. Her father always had all kinds of plans and dreams for when things got better. Not that things ever did get better. Not that they ever would. The only thing worse than knowing that fact would be admitting it. So Lacey gave her father a tight smile and pretended she believed him, just like she always did.

****

She made her way over to Marine Automotive, where her Uncle Manny was locking the front doors from the outside. When he saw her loitering, he beamed.

“Hey! There’s my favorite niece!”

Uncle Manny looked like Dad if nothing bad had ever happened to him. He had the same height and stocky build. He had the same curly hair that was also the bane of Lacey’s existence. But where Moe French was loud when he was angry, Manny French was loud when he was happy--and he was always loud. He wrapped Lacey up in a bear hug.

“How you doing, Ace? What brings you by?”

She cut to the chase. “Are you going to the Rabbit Hole tonight?”

Her uncle wasn’t a huge drinker, but he was the only person Lacey knew who regularly went to Storybrooke's only bar.

“I wasn’t planning on it. They’re aren’t any games tonight. But I take it you need an escort?”

Lacey raised her shoulders in a half-apology. “They won’t let me in without a parent-slash-guardian.”

“Ah, to be young again!” Uncle Manny wrapped one arm around her. “You’ll miss it one of these days, I promise you. But yeah, we can have a night on the town. I’ll even buy you a Shirley Temple.”

“Oh come on,” she gave him a playful nudge. “I am an adult, even if I can’t drink. I should at least get a Coke and Coke.”

“Sounds like a plan.” 

****

The Rabbit Hole was dead. Between the lack of sports on TV and the town-wide lack of money until payday, most people were staying home. The only ones here were people like Leroy Miner, people who had nowhere else to go. Like the old song said, sharing a drink they called loneliness was better than drinking alone. 

Undeterred, Lacey took her uncle-approved non-alcoholic beverage over to the pool table by the fireplace. She took off her hoodie and unbuttoned her blouse a little. This whole thing was a risky move, but it was the best plan she had. Hustling pool paid off more often than it didn’t.  

Eyeing the room, she bent over the pool table, just far enough to get a little attention. She lined up a shot and missed on purpose.

“Oh crap!” she said too loudly. “Must not be my night.”

After ten minutes of staged failure, Lacey let herself land a shot. She squealed when the ball went into the pocket. The sound made people’s heads turn, and she treated them all to a too-wide, too-apologetic smile.

Only one person smiled back. Keith Sherwood turned on his bar stool to watch her. Lacey tried to remember her other encounters with Keith. Did he usually stare more at her ass or her boobs? For safety’s sake, she did both. She leaned far enough over the table that Keith could look down her cleavage, then moved around to the other side for the next shot. She stuck her ass in the air, practically humping the felt to keep his attention.

“Boys always make it look so easy,” she pouted after another ball just barely missed the pocket.

When Keith began to walk over to her, she turned her back to him. That way she could pretend to be surprised by his arrival. With careful concentration, Lacey managed to get a ball a full foot away from what anyone watching would have assumed was her target. It was actually harder to be bad on purpose, but it paid off.

“You having fun, sweet thing?” Keith leaned against the pool table, beer in hand, right in front of her.

Lacey giggled. “It’d be more fun if I had someone to play with.”

Keith chuckled. A lock of his hair fell down into his eyes. “I bet it would be. You had a lot of fun playing with me last time, didn’t you?”

How much money had she taken from Keith the last time she had tried this? Sometimes she got cocky and her marks got mad about being taken. Lacey couldn’t remember if she had ever crowed about fleecing Keith. Unfortunately, he probably did. 

She fluttered her eyelashes. “It was a lot of fun,” she cooed. “I think I got lucky that night.”

“I bet you’re gonna get lucky again.” He was standing too close to her. “I bet your luck will get better and better all night, especially when we start playing double or nothing.”

Crap. She had definitely rubbed Keith’s face in it last time. Now he was wise to her. That was the problem with a small town. Oh well, at least she’d tried.

“So is that a bet?” she said in her real voice. “Do you wanna put money down on whether or not I’m actually hustling you? Cuz I’ll take you up on that one.”

Keith shook his head. He put his hand down on top of hers on the edge of the pool table. He was still smiling.

“You know there’s another game we can play together. It’s a lot more fun than pool.”

Ugh.

Lacey backed away. “It might be fun for you, but I don’t think I’d get much out of it.”

He followed her. “How do you know? Maybe it’d be more fun if you hustled me. That’d make things interesting, wouldn’t it? Twenty bucks says I can make you see heaven.”

She snorted. “Did you just say you’ll pay to screw me?”

Keith kept smiling. “You were gonna screw me all over this table and take my money anyway. I like my version better.”

Lacey’s blood suddenly went cold. This wasn’t funny anymore. It wasn’t a game. This asshole would seriously give her money if she went home with him. It would be so easy to go along with it. Twenty dollars for two orgasms--his would be real, hers would be fake. 

Would that be enough to buy a new skirt? Was she seriously fucking considering this?

She clenched her jaw. 

“I’m not a fucking hooker, Keith.”

He raised his arms in a pacifying gesture. “No harm, no foul,” he said. “I just don’t see how it’s any different from taking a girl to dinner first. Man pays for sex either way.”

Turning away, she slid her pool cue back on the rack. 

“You’re a pig.”

“Go ahead, darlin’, keep talking dirty. See what happens.”

Lacey kept her head held high as she went back to the bar where her uncle was nursing a beer.

“I need to get out of here,” she told him.

“Sounds good.” Uncle Manny took out his wallet and tossed a few crumpled fives onto the bar. “I’ll walk you home.”

****

 Outside, Lacey pulled her arms out of the sleeves of her hoodie and hugged her arms over her chest. This stupid button down was too frumpy to make her sexy and too thin to keep her warm. 

“Pool wasn’t any good for you tonight?” Uncle Manny asked casually.

“No,” she admitted. “Fricking Keith threw me off my game.”

“What do you need money for anyway? That dad of yours not feeding you?”

“I need money cuz I don’t have any.” Lacey kicked at a chunk of dirty snow. “Nobody does.”

“I’ve got a little, for the smartest kid in Storybrooke.” He stopped walking and turned to face her. “You wanna tell me what it’s for?”

Lacey bit the inside of her mouth. She didn’t want to lie to her uncle, but she sure as hell didn’t want to tell him the truth. She walked in silence for a minute. He stayed with her. Finally, she said it.

“I wanna get some new clothes.”

“Like a real coat?”

She shrugged. “I mean, maybe. I could. If I had enough.”

“And this is a sudden yearning that couldn’t wait?”

She shrugged again. There was nothing like being around a parent-slash-guardian to make her feel like a complete child.

“Ace, what’s going on?”

She took a breath. “I… don’t want to tell you.”

He put his hand on her shoulder. “Lacey French, if you’re doing things you don’t want people to know about, then you shouldn’t do them.”

“It’s nothing bad!” Lacey pushed him away. “It’s just… personal.”

“That’s not reassuring,” he said. “What’s going on? What do you need money for?”

“I told you, to buy clothes!”

“Clothes for what? You can tell me, Lacey. I’ll help you out if you’re honest.”

“I just want to look nice on a date!” She shrieked the words out into the night. They hung in the air with the cloud of her breath.

Uncle Manny looked at her, confused and sympathetic at the same time. Eventually, he broke out into a broad smile.

“But that’s great, honey! You should go on dates. Why-- why didn’t you say so to begin with?”

She pulled her hands up through the neck hole of her hoodie to rub her face.

“I’m… It’s because of who I’m going out with.”

Uncle Manny scoffed and put his arm around her as they walked. “You shouldn’t be ashamed of dating someone. Unless it’s someone you should be ashamed of, but then you just don’t date them. It’s not a girl, is it?”

Lacey shook her head, to which Uncle Manny nodded.

“Not that there’s anything wrong with that, not in this modern world. You know I’m with you no matter what.”

She nodded. 

“And of course, no boy is ever going to be good enough for you. But as long as he’s not married, or some kind of asshole like that bastard Gold, there’s no reason to sneak around like--Lacey?”

She had stopped in her tracks. She looked up at her uncle and chewed on her lower lip.

Realization dawned. Uncle Manny let out a long breath. 

“Lace.” His voice was rough. “Tell me you’re dating a married man.”

Lips pressed together, she shook her head. “Don’t tell anyone.”

Standing in place, Uncle Manny stomped his work boots onto the sidewalk. The intent seemed to be half to warm his feet and half to cool his head.

“Gold,” he whispered. He pointed in the direction of Mr. Gold’s pawn shop. “That Gold? The guy that has every working person in Storybrooke by balls? The guy who’s practically the reason all of us are living paycheck to paycheck? You’re going on dates with him?”

She shrugged. “It’s only been one date so far, but he asked me to come to his house on Friday.”

“And you said yes? What, does he have something on you? Is that why you need money?”

“No!” Lacey insisted. “I was telling the truth! I just need clothes that are good enough for him.”

“‘Good enough for him?’ He’s not good enough for you, Lacey! That man is a scourge. He’s a parasite. He’s--he’s old enough to be your father!”

“If he was my father, I wouldn’t be in this situation. I’d actually have a good life.”

“You have a good life.” Uncle Manny wasn’t angry anymore. Or if he was, his anger had become still and stern. “Your parents worked every day to give you a good life.”

“And where did it get them?” Lacey snapped. “Where did it get me? Yes, we work hard, but our only reward is getting to work even harder. And I’m so tired.” Her face was hot. God, she was sniffling. “Being with Mr. Gold feels like a break, and that’s all I want anymore. Just a freaking break.” 

Uncle Manny’s arms were around her. He pulled her against his coveralls that smelled like motor oil and sweat. He squeezed her tight and patted her back as she tried to stop crying.

“Sorry,” she sniffed when they broke apart.

“Hey,” he tilted her chin up and looked her in the eye. “Love means never having to say you’re sorry.”

Despite her tears, Lacey laughed. It was an old joke for them. She knew what her next line had to be: “That’s the dumbest thing I ever heard.”  

He hugged her again, kissed the top of her head. They didn’t talk until they were in front of Game of Thorns.

“I’d stay for dinner, but I’ve had Moe’s cooking before.”

She snorted at another joke she’d heard a thousand times, then she turned serious. “Um. You’re not going to tell anybody, are you?”

“About your…” he searched for the words, then shrugged, “love life?”

“Yeah. You know my dad will blow a gasket if he finds out I’m even talking to Mr. Gold, let alone--”

“Yeah, I know.” Uncle Manny cut her off. Clearly, he didn’t want to hear what she was doing with Mr. Gold.

“So, please don’t tell him? Promise?”

Her uncle sucked his teeth and slowly shook his head in silence. It took a long minute before he looked at her again.

“Okay,” he said. “You’re an adult. You know your own mind, you can make your own decisions. It’s just--be smart, okay? You are an adult, but you’re also our little girl. Me, your dad, your mom, rest her soul--we don’t want to see you get hurt.”

“I promise I won’t get hurt, if you promise not to blab my business all over town.”

“Aright,” he sighed. He pulled her in for a tight hug. “I promise. Just--please, take care of yourself.”

  She squeezed her uncle, then headed for the door. “That’s exactly what I’m doing.”

****

Lacey spent the entire working day on Thursday psychically willing the phone to ring with orders, preferably orders that had to be filled as soon as possible. Doing a rush job would give them an excuse to charge extra. She wouldn’t wish a funeral on anyone, but wouldn’t this be a great weekend for an impromptu wedding? So many of Lacey’s problems would be solved if just one panicked bride would come in and beg them to fill Dodci’s Dance Hall with centerpieces and garlands, not to mention all the bouquets and boutonnieres and flowers for the church too. Or maybe someone important could get sick and everyone in Storybrooke would send flowers to the hospital. Wasn’t there anyone in Storybrooke who was celebrating anything? Did people not have birthdays in late January? There were so many reasons people could need flowers. But this wasn’t a day when people did.

Hustling at the Rabbit Hole wasn’t an option anymore. If this were any other occasion, she would borrow a skirt from Mara or Janine, but that didn’t seem like a possibility. They wouldn’t take the news of her going on a date with Mr. Gold any better than Uncle Manny had. Mara’s store, where she also lived, was rented from Mr. Gold, and Janine had taken out a loan to pay for her beautician supplies. Both of them--really everyone in Storybrooke--saw him as the enemy. As far as they cared to think about it, he was the reason they were poor. If Lacey told her friends how much she wanted to be around him, they would think she was crazy, or morally degenerate.

Maybe she was. 

Or maybe they were wrong. Had her friends ever eaten at Bella Notte? Had they ever worn a dress that made them feel like sex on two legs? Had they ever watched a hapless waiter get strong-armed into breaking a stupid law for them? Had they ever been inside Mr. Gold’s house? Had they ever taken clothes off just because a man had asked them to? Had they ever known the thrill of promising to do whatever another person told them to do? Had they ever known the peace of being an object, of kneeling silently at someone’s feet?

Could they even understand why that was something anyone would want? Let alone that it was something Lacey craved in a place deeper than her bones? Some dark, hidden part of her soul wanted Mr. Gold, like she had never wanted anything else. 

And not having enough money to buy a stupid fucking skirt might keep her away from him forever. She could not abide that thought.

When Friday was another dud--a few orders came in, but they wouldn’t pay until delivery--Lacey knew that she was out of options. Since Mr. Gold would be picking her up tonight at eight, she was also out of time. So she did what everyone in Storybrooke did when they had nowhere else to go.

She went to the pawn shop. 

****

Lacey had always been intrigued by the phrasing of Mr. Gold’s store. The sign said Mr. Gold Pawnbroker and Antiquities Dealer. Most stores advertised the goods sold inside, but Mr. Gold advertised himself. This was who he was, this was what he did. No one came to this store because they needed things, they came because they needed what only he could offer them. Usually, they needed it enough to pay whatever price he set. 

When it came down to it, Lacey really wasn’t that different from any other desperate soul who came to Mr. Gold. The only difference was what she wanted.

It was three in the afternoon. Not technically her lunch break, but it wasn’t like she was getting paid to stick around the flower shop. Lacey changed into some gray dress pants and covered her work shirt with her least-frumpy cardigan. She stuffed her purse full of old toys and oddities that might--cumulatively, optimistically--be worth about ten dollars. She yelled at Dad that she was going out for a minute and then walked over to Mr. Gold’s.

The bell rang over her head when she walked through the front door. Mr. Gold was behind the counter, writing something in a ledger. He looked up at the sound and gave the slightest grin when he saw that it was her. 

“Miss French,” he said, with just a touch of warmth. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

Lacey bit her lip, but forced herself to stay cool. She looked around at the shelves and display cases, slowly making her way forward. Another time, she would have marveled at the art and jewelry and historic do-dads, but now she slunk past them.

“I…” she dragged out the word, unsure of what she was saying as she said it, “was wondering… if you have any clothes for sale.” 

Mr. Gold raised his eyebrows. “Clothes?”

“Yeah.” She stopped in front of a spinning rack of necklaces. She couldn’t look at him. “You know, like vintage stuff?”

He walked over to her, behind the display case. “I’ve got some historic naval uniforms, but nothing that would suit you.”

He was in front of her now, so they were separated by nothing but two feet of glass and gadgets. She didn’t raise her head. Some of these necklaces were really pretty. One gold chain with a mother-of-pearl pendant spoke to her for some reason.

“What do you need, Miss French?”

His voice was gentle, coaxing. He understood how much she hated what she was doing. He probably talked to a lot of people who were feeling what she was feeling. At least he didn’t seem to be enjoying her discomfort.

Lacey took a breath, and looked up at him.

“I need a skirt,” she admitted. “I don’t have anything to wear on our date tonight.”

He blinked. Then his face grew infinitesimally softer. 

“I see,” he said. 

“I brought some stuff.” She set her purse on the counter, began to pull out the junk she’d brought from home. “I thought I might--”

“Please,” he held up a hand. “You don’t need to do that. I’m more than happy to assist you, Miss French.” He turned away from her, went back over to his antique cash register. 

“I can pay you back…”

“Oh you will,” he grinned. He took a bill out of the cash register and set it on the counter. Lacey came closer and saw that it was a fifty. “Will this be enough?”

She fought the urge to snatch the money and run all the way to Modern Fashions. It was the same feeling she’d had when he’d given her the money to tip that stupid waiter. The thrill, the rush, of having cash and knowing she could do anything with it. Fifty dollars was more than she had spent on clothes in the past year. Fifty dollars could cover the bill at Granny’s for her whole family--or at least for Janine and Mara to have real lunches.

Fifty dollars was more than twice what Keith had offered her to have sex with him.

Lacey pulled her hands back. She dug her fingernails into her palms. 

“I… I shouldn’t accept this,” she said.  

“Why not?” Mr. Gold asked, unperturbed. “Are you worried I’ll take advantage of you? Wouldn’t you say that ship has sailed, Miss French?”

She looked down at the dirt-stained sneakers she wore for work. In a resigned whisper, she told Mr. Gold the same thing she said to Keith at the Rabbit Hole.

“I’m not a hooker.”

“Of course not.” Mr. Gold’s voice was smooth and confident. He came out from behind the counter to stand in front of her. Slowly, he raised his hand to cup her cheek, subtly forcing her to look at him. “You’re a woman who knows what she wants and who will do whatever she needs to do to make it happen.”

Lacey’s breath shook. Her eyes were hot and she was trembling.

“What do you want?” he asked her. He really was being very patient. 

“I want to go on another date with you, Mr. Gold.”

“And what do you need to do in order to make that happen?”

“I need--” she stopped. I need a skirt wasn’t the right answer. Mr. Gold had asked her what she needed to do. “I need to get some money, Mr. Gold.”

“Ask me for it.” He gave the order like it was a caress. “Ask me for the money and I’ll give it to you, Miss French.”

 This wasn’t like with Keith. This wasn’t being so desperate for money that she’d have sex with a stranger. This was being so desperate for sex that she’d take money to make sure she’d get it. She’d let Mr. Gold pay her like a whore just to make sure he kept treating her like a slut. 

She swallowed. She had to swallow a few times before she was brave enough to speak.

“Please, Mr. Gold, will you give me fifty dollars so I can have something suitable to wear for our date tonight?”

“I would be happy too, Miss French.” He lowered his hand from her cheek and picked the bill up off of the counter. Gently, he took her hand by the wrist, placed the fifty on her palm, and closed her fingers over it.

He grinned at her.

“Buy yourself something pretty.”

Lacey clenched her jaw. Now he was enjoying this. She bit back words that would make him take the money back. Instead, she said what she knew he wanted her to say.

“Thank you, Mr. Gold.”

“You’re quite welcome, Miss French.”

He turned around then, went back behind the counter. Lacey understood she was dismissed. Facing the door, she took a breath and checked to make sure none of her tears had spilled out onto her cheeks. 

Before she opened the door, Mr. Gold called over to her. 

“Miss French,” he said. “If you happen to buy a red skirt and wear nothing underneath it, I will eat your cunt for dessert tonight.”

Lacey’s eyes went wide. Her shock was less for what Mr. Gold had said and more for his nonchalant tone. He was talking about sex in the same way he would talk about running errands.

“Do you understand me, Miss French?”

What about it did he think she didn’t understand? Then Lacey realized she hadn’t answered him. Mr. Gold expected an answer when he spoke to people. 

“Yes, Mr. Gold,” she said. Shock had made her voice a little breathy. “Thank you for telling me, Mr. Gold.”

He gave her a nod. 

Dazed and excited, Lacey left his shop and made her way down the street to Modern Fashions. She had a red skirt to buy.

#courtship #rumbelle #golden lace #rumbelle fic #golden lace fic

[the-pen-pot]

When he was a kid, Stiles had wasted hours of his life daydreaming about vampires and magic and things that went bump in the night. Even after his mom died and it was just him and his dad, the two of them looking out for each other as best they could, he had got lost inside his own head more often than not. Even the Adderall didn't do much to tame them. It was only when Scott got bit and all the crap he'd thought belonged in movies turned out to be real that things went the other way.

Now, he wistfully imagined staying in bed late at the weekends. He longed for the days when he did not need an intricate knowledge of how to get a shit-ton of blood out of his jeans, and when the jeep breaking down was an inconvenience rather than a matter of life or death. Like now.

'Come on!' he hissed, his eyes glued to the rearview mirror as he turned the key and listened to the engine choke and die. It was stupid. He was stupid. He knew better than to go out in the Preserve by himself. Honestly, all he had wanted was five minutes away from the latest Scott and Allison drama. Now he was probably going to turn up dead, and Scott wouldn't notice he was missing because he was too busy staring at Allison's eyes and mouth and other... assets.

He didn't even know what it was. He'd not had time to see more than a flash of very big teeth before taking off like a rabbit chased by a coyote. All he had now were his shrieking instincts letting him know he was being stalked by something that lingered in the undergrowth, probably trying to figure out how to extract him from his crappy tin-can of a car before chowing down on his delicious, tender flesh.

Absently, he patted Roscoe's steering wheel, apologizing for his thoughts even as he continued to swear under his breath. He needed to pop the hood and hit the engine with something to get it going, but if he did that then whatever was out there was going to get him.

In theory, he could call for help, but in practice...? Yeah, he was not about to hold his breath. Scott hung up on him nine times out of ten, and Derek probably wouldn't answer a call from him out of principle, or something. It wasn't like they were friends or anything. There was always the cops, but that would just bring his dad running, and the longer he could keep the truth of this whole shitshow under wraps, the better.

So, he could either sit here and hope whatever was out there got bored, or risk it and pray it didn't eat him before he could fix his jeep and get the hell out of dodge.

Drumming a nervous rhythm on the steering wheel, he reached into the backseat for his baseball bat, feeling its solid weight in his grip. A quick look through the rear windshield revealed nothing: just trees and shadows and the sickle of a moon hung precariously in a black winter sky.

Cranking the lever on the dash to pop the hood, he reached out, easing the handle of the door and wincing as the old mechanism clunked like an airlock. He held his breath, half-expecting a roar of triumph.

Silence. Not even the wind stirred the half-dressed branches of the trees. In fact, it was completely still, and Stiles wet his lips before easing himself out of Roscoe's safe confines.

'Oh God,' he breathed. 'I'm gunna die.'

He waited, braced to leap back into the jeep and slam the door behind him, but nothing pounced out of the shadows. If he were some ditz in a horror movie, he would decide that meant it was safe – that he'd somehow imagined the monster hot on his heels as he half-ran, half-fell through the Preserve, but he wasn't an idiot. It was probably just biding its time, and he swallowed hard before darting around the hood and getting to work, every sense on high alert for the thing he knew was still out there somewhere.

'What are you doing?'

If anyone ever asked, Stiles would tell them his yell of surprise was very manly and not at all shrill. He would also say he managed to at least bean Derek over the head with the bat, rather than swinging wide and missing when the asshole stepped back out of reach.

'Fuck shit,' he wheezed, pressing a hand to his chest and bending over so he could try and breathe. 'Where did you come from?'

Derek raised one eyebrow, folding his arms so that leather jacket of his strained across his shoulders, so much broader now that he was Alpha of his own little pack. 'I could hear your heartbeat from a mile away: fast, like a rabbit.'

'Yeah.' Stiles narrowed his eyes. 'Because that's not creepy or anything.' He glanced back over his shoulder, scanning the trees again. 'There was something out there. Jeep wouldn't start. Did you scare it off?'

'No. Where's Scott?'

'How am I meant to know?'

'He should be with you. Even you're not stupid enough to come out here on your own.'

Stiles pursed his lips, not bothering to answer that. 'I'm fine. See?' He tottered back around to the driver's door on shaky legs and turned the key, breathing a sigh of relief as Roscoe purred obligingly to life. He flicked on the headlights, smirking as Derek shielded his eyes from their flare. It died a moment later when he noticed the fresh red charting the lines of his palms: blood. 'Didn't scare it off, huh? Did you kill it instead?'

Derek's nostrils flared in annoyance, and Stiles ducked out of the car, stepping in front of the headlight beam as he snatched Derek's right hand. Red painted his cuticles too, as if he'd shoved his claws into something's chest, and Stiles wondered if he went over to the bushes whether he would stumble across something's carcass. There was no point checking Derek for injuries. Any wounds would have healed by now. Freaky Werewolf.

'What was it?'

'Nothing.' Derek rolled his eyes as Stiles cocked his head. 'Doesn't matter. I dealt with it. Now go.'

'I wanna see –' Stiles sucked in a breath as he found himself pinned against the hood of his car, Derek's broad frame trapping him against the metal. He could smell the fresh air and the faint tang of sweat on Derek's skin, and he had to admit that maybe his daydreams weren't just about getting a good night's sleep. If he was honest, Derek had a starring role in far too many of his fantasies for this to be a comfortable situation for anyone.

'You don't need to see,' Derek growled, and if he could smell Stiles' arousal, he was pointedly ignoring it. 'It's gone. Dealt with.'

'I want to know what it was!'

'Stiles...'

A delicate shiver marched down his spine as Derek's growl hit that particular pitch. Back when all this werewolf shit had hit the fan, Stiles had told himself it was fear.

It really, really wasn't.

'Was it going to eat me?' He swallowed, trying to focus his mind on gore and death rather than heat and muscles. The jeep was a solid wall behind his back, and every time he drew a breath his chest brushed against Derek's.

Are you going to eat me? His brain hysterically added, and he bit his lip hard so that the words didn't escape.

'Probably. Now go home.'

A hint of red glowed in Derek's eyes, unmissable, and Stiles reached out, pressing his palm over Derek's heart and easing him back so he had room to breathe. No way he was going anywhere with Derek all up in his business, and he wasn't about to try ducking under his arm and exposing his back. Derek may not be wolfed out, but there was a predatory edge lingering in the air, and Stiles was not about to risk it.

'All right, big guy. Well, thanks for the save, yeah?'

'Whatever. Don't go into the Preserve alone again. Next time I won't bother to save you.'

In the blink of an eye, he was gone, melting back into the shadows of the trees, but not before Stiles caught the subtle edge of a smile curving the corner of his lips. It was a hint of emotion on that otherwise grumpy face, and Stiles swallowed hard, trying desperately to ignore the stupid little flutter of his heart as he climbed behind the steering wheel. Derek was probably just happy he got to kill something. No way it was anything to do with Stiles.

It didn't matter how much his heart tended to thrill in Derek's presence, or that a hot rash of want rushed through him every time he set eyes on him. Derek never looked at him that way.

And he never would.

#Teen Wolf #Sterek #Long Post #My Fanfic

[clockworksteel]

I've been realizing lately that I never developed a style of my own. This is kinda tangentially related to gender, I guess?

The earliest event that kicked off this line of thought was when a friend of mine mentioned sometimes they do silly tier lists with another friend, with one example being sorting characters by who was the "most gender", in the tumblr sense. I later had the thought, "I am not very gender". Then there was a segment of video of a recent Jammidodger video in which he talks about how many people find their own style as they grow up (https://youtu.be/H_CLQEIm1CA?t=192 for the full context, or https://youtu.be/H_CLQEIm1CA?t=242 to skip to the most relevant part), and also a recent tumblr post I saw that was like, "What are you wearing now and does it fit your style?" And, like, I was in sweat pants and a T-shirt since that's all I ever wear, but... I'm not sure I ever really picked it so much as I've been going with it as a good-enough default ever since I was, like, 6.

Now, some of that might just be that I genuinely have a rather plain style, but I also didn't really have an experimentation phase. I probably would have been concerned about my parents' judgements if I thought about truly making my own style decisions, I don’t think that line of thought even happened because it more of a subtle thing where the points to make decisions just didn't happen besides deciding what to pull out of the drawer or closet.

I actually still get given a lot of T-shirts, which makes it kinda difficult to justify buying many tops on my own. My mom likes to pick out "funny" ones for Christmas and birthdays, usually 2 per gift-giving event. Of course, some of those aren't great, since about some of the humor on them is self-depreciating, which is a bit weird as a gift. Like, sure, I guess I'll ironically wear the one that says "Exercise? I thought you said extra lives" while exercising. I think I'd prefer just getting another couple solid color shirts a year.

That said, at least I had very occasionally bought my own T-shirts a couple times prior to moving out from my parents' house. The rest of my clothing while I lived with my parents was entirely what they decided I should have. I guess I must have expressed some sort of comfort preferences at some point, since I have a vague memory of being told I didn't like jeans and it sounded right, but that sort of thing would've been about it as far as choosing most of my clothes.

Then my haircuts were just... sometimes my mom decided it was time for a haircut and then she'd cut it how she thought it should be. It would be left a little longer in the winter. I never really learned the names of hairstyles. After moving out I bought hair clippers to keep doing it how I was used to it, but I think it may be less that I like it like that and more that I'm keeping it how my mom expects it. I was a little sad to cut my hair this morning: it was just getting long enough to do something with. My mom did make fun of my hair last visit though as mentioned in the previous post, and I'm visiting again this weekend.

And my lack of style doesn't end with my personal appearance.

When I was younger, I wasn't supposed to put anything on the walls, since it could damage the paint. When I moved into the bedroom that had one burlap-covered wall I could put push-pins in it and did hang up some things: a couple posters and some paper snowflakes. Still, I never learned to decorate normal walls. And so in the 6 years I've been in my current house, the only wall decoration is a white board calendar.

I'm not really sure why, but I haven't changed my phone background from the default in my almost 4 years of having my current one. My desktop computer does have a background I set, but I haven't changed it in almost a year (I set it when Nintendo sent me some for my birthday last year). Before that it was just a solid color.

Even in games I tend not to focus on appearance that much, except for a couple times I've gotten to do dress-up in the couple of Pokemon games that actually had a good variety of clothes. I absolutely blitz through most character creators compared to a lot of people I know, it feels like.

I guess until I figure out whether my pervasive plainness is genuinely me, it's hard to conclude anything. I've had idle thoughts related to this about how maybe it would be good to consider an agender identity, but I don't even know where to begin with that, since the lack of rules when it comes to gender makes it hard to think about directly. I'd still have to decide what I look like physically anyway as well.

#clockwork-gender

[hospitalterrorizer]

diary173

3/6-7/2024

wednesday - thursday

the weekend is going well. or like, my weekend. i guess,

we did errands today. i didn't realize it was tomorrow that my gf was leaving for montreal for 10 days. i'm going to be alone a while. i'm going to miss her a lot. so we had fun today, we went to sorry not sorry, which is some fancy icecream place. it was really good. i got stuff for myself, in the house, and i spent some more money on skincare stuff for the 2 of us. roc retinol, which is mostly for old people i guess but...if it works well for them, just imagine what it could do for us... i guess that makes me sound crazy but i guess i sort of am. it'll be nice to not use retinol from samples for a while, and as long as i keep this job i think i can keep a steady supply of good retinol and other serums, i suppose.

i also got dressed up cute i think, i took selfies, i'll post them tomorrow. maybe. i think. i'll try at least.

despite it being errand day i liked it, i guess just because i was out with my gf for a while. for a bit i wasn't, she had to go to the dentist's to get a final crown for one of the teeth that's been bothering her. very expensive but important for her wellbeing. there's others, but that one seems to have been the biggest issue, so there can be some time between. her mom bought me some stuff at the thrift store, or we went to two, today, i got some stuff at both. i got shorts and a cute shirt at one, the shorts are low rise and small, which is good, because i like to dress like that i guess, and the shirt is very cute. i'll take pics of these when i find what to wear them in. i also got some thin and kind of like, i guess librarian-ish 2007-y glasses, i popped the lenses out, they were like 2 dollars. my gf got a really good shirt, at the 2nd one, a really pretty button up thing, and these crazy shoes that i think i might try to wear a lot . tbh. in the winter at least.

i'm talking about trivial stuff i guess, though. i was just in bed w/ my gf, she'll be leaving at 8pm tomorrow, she flies away at 10. i'm going to be sad, for 10 days. i don't really know how i'll feel going to bed alone. it's going to be the first time in a while i think. it happened when we moved to the first place, because she had to stay at her mom's for work for a few extra weeks. but since, i think we've not ever been very far apart, for very long at least.

of course we started kind of far apart cuz during covid i couldn't go anywhere cuz of my stepdad but that's a whole other thing. i don't really want to be alone in here i guess. i don't like thinking about it, also. it'll be good for recording but i'm going to miss just being in her presence/wake, able to interact and stuff. talk about whatever, have her talk to me about whatever. she is good at that, i don't really say a lot unless spoken to, and she likes to talk. she's good at drawing me out.

she is also very sad. i think it will hit her kind of hard in the hotel. not that she's not feeling it or anything, but i guess it's going to hit us both when it's time to sleep, and we can't really occupy ourselves or anything.

i know i'll probably vc with her on discord and stuff, and others too maybe. but idk. part of me wants to use this time to just get as much done as i can on the record, within reason. not singing late or anything but it gives me some more room to get stuff out.

regarding music, i recorded some stuff today on that one song that was giving me trouble, i've at least got an idea for delivery down, i might need to retry, with some more, idk, something, on the vocals, a different tone i guess, but the rhythm is there i think.

i also have been mixing another song, and the vocals i have for that, the tiny pieces at least, sound good, so there's at least one really solid vocal layer and then some stuff i just need to accentuate/layer on top of that. it's kind of a pain getting the guitar synth stuff right, not tonally, but mix-wise, i'm trying something now where i mess w/ stereo image stuff to get things to move in a way, out of stereo and into mono, that type of thing.

and one more export, and this should be good... i know i said i wanted to get 2 songs done today, i guess i kinda did, the other song i worked on is also sounding better broadly, mix-wise, since i messed around w/ that.

alright so... if that one's like done, with getting to sound right, that means there's 14 songs left, and the ones that are after the next 2 are all just going to be updated to this new saturator process, which will be be easy and i can do it transparently kinda i think. or i hope. i can make the saturation less extreme with these ones if need be, and if it frees up space in the mix, then that'll be super good + awesome and i can maybe squeeze more detail out of the songs or whatever. those i could maybe even do in like... i don't wanna promise it to myself or whatever, but 2 days? we'll see. those 12 should not be as much of a headache as some of these other ones.

i also read foucault today, as things were exporting earlier, very good as usual. one part struck me, about how the need to punish + torture, or torture being a punishment, as well as capital punishment, death + loss of limb and so on, was that it was not just to keep people in line via consequence, but also, as foucault puts it, to 'use terrorizing tactics' to take revenge against being outside the law, or the will of the sovereign. when you see this, where tactics of punishment and pain become not about consequence, where the relation is less simple, and more about asserting power and dominance once again, to express who creates rules and who directs them, things like that, even now, you will see the vestiges of this process. again, not a new thing to me i guess, but he articulates it well, it makes me think of how i've seen co-workers get yelled at by management at work.

a very minor thing in comparison to historical facts of murder by the sovereigns of europe, but it still seems connected, in odd ways. petty tyrants reigning over us, i guess, in management, everyone vested with these moral gauges and the compulsion to keep everything right, i suppose this is part of the soul he may begin describing, where we all become responsible for our own efficiency, and thus when others fail, it is something of a humiliation to be implicated in their either inability, their ignorance of power, or whatever else.

this i suppose, is why everyone makes jokes at foucault's expense, that everything is a prison. which is true but also a reduction. it's not really that everything is a prison, that's just a useful way to put it i guess to explain, but really it's that the prison is historically a way to organize, and all of us put in this rubric of not just penality, but the improvement of ourselves, and so on, in school, in psychiatry, at work, our time put to bettering something, that something vague, by necessity, the prison outlines not just institutions, but the world the institutions would like to produce, i suppose. and so with that, comes the thought that everything is a prison. it is perhaps something else more complex and strange, that depends one me and where the book takes me, it is where i lean, it is elucidated in other works certainly, the odd world we live in now. where there are huge suggestions of like, caring about others, lip service to 'mental health' and other things that one would imagine are positive, even ideas like fairness, kindness, all requiring a fact that you have to deign to give these things, people receive from you in those cases, a condescending in ways we are taught to be positive and show concern, in a world like this, everything is trying to be as friendly as possible. this is why the police destroy homeless camps where people are surviving, and are truly kind to one another by building fires to cook over, collecting resources, because this is unpleasant to see. i guess an ultimate wound to everyone in this area, it's twofold, to know that this is what awaits you should you fail, that at this economic class should the bottom give out, there is no longer anything to catch you accept people who are abused, frightened, and starving, and they will catch you, and then 2, you will work hard, for so little, because the world is so violently exclusive, in such bright colors.

and now i need to sleep, the song is sounding good now, i think, which makes me happy.

it feels ugly to say that after what i had just written, but it's all i can think to do really.

so,

byebye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[peacedtogether]

Check out this listing I just added to my Poshmark closet: NWT Susan Graver weekend, reversible, polar fleece coat, XL Navy Blue / Print.

[stonerosestank]

hi there 🤍

it’s finally starting to feel like winter where i live so the need for a lavender honey latte is stronger now ajendkso i hope you can find somewhere that sells them! i’m rooting for us getting them asap ❤️‍🩹

i only listened to it once lmao mainly bc fine line the song broke me at the end and i couldn’t make myself start it again ajrnekwk and my favorites are fine line and adore you probably. i also love cherry (listen it’s the softest breakup song and i choose to believe harry is writing a story that has nothing to do with him in general) and she has a special place in my heart, getting to see it live was magical. my favorite from hs1 is probably woman or only angel, and from harry’s house it’s satellite hands down. what are your faves from hs1 and harry’s house?

i’ll try to see if i can start learning to knit or crochet soon but i feel like i’m the same, all the pieces that i want to make look SO complicated so i feel like i’d never actually get it done rip and for the bullet journal, when i have a clear idea of the monthly theme i do it really quickly and really enjoy it but when i can’t choose what to do it takes me forever to actually get it done. that goes for my nails too, and bc i don’t have the best nail art brushes i have to scrap a lot of ideas. lately i’ve been doing designs with solid colors and negative space instead of with a lot of details but i’ve been running out of ideas, especially for the holidays.

chocolate chip cookies are my favorites! i can’t wait to bake some with my family next week. i basically only bake during the holidays, we get together to bake chocolate chip and butter pecan cookies, and i can make brownies and carrot cake and that’s pretty much it ajennfks as for cooking, i can do pretty basic dishes but i do like it! i wish i had more time for it. and christmas baking is the best! what are you gonna be making?

here’s some love for the rest of the week, i hope your day’s been lovely 💖💞💗💓💕💝

- ☁️

hiiii 🫶🏻 sorry i’m so late answering this i started a new project and it’s literally all i’ve been doing for 3 days djshsjs

adore you is such a good fave to have!! it’s one of those songs that’s like impossible to get sick of 🥺 also cherry!!!!! and she!!!!! she is my beloved and i agree about seeing it live, it’s amazing. my faves from hs1 are sign of the times and woman!! and harry’s house is all of them djshsj but rn probably daylight and keep driving!!

the projects looking so difficult is the worst part of learning 😩 even now that i’ve been crocheting for years i look at certain patterns and im like 😳 there’s no way i could do that djshsj but honestly once u start learning and getting comfortable with the craft everything is much less daunting 🫶🏻

love that for u!!! i hope u have fun baking with ur family 💗 also imo carrot cake is the superior cake so that’s the only one anyone needs to know how to make djshsj i still have to figure out exactly which cookies im making but it’s probably gonna be a lot bc december is the only time i’ll make any and all types of cookies my mom wants at the same time so it gets to be a bit much djshsj i usually end up giving a lot to my family and friends though so it’s okay

hope ur weekend has been going well 💗💗

#☁️ #holiday pal ✨ #asks

[jojolu]

Mom’s Weekend and The Winter Soldier

Chapter 4

Pairing: James "Bucky" Barnes and Sarah Wilson

Summary: Sarah Wilson, Connie Caro and Avery Vance were the only three of Sarah's friends that were still here after the blip. They have a monthly girls day before having a kid free weekend. Normally Sarah has nothing to talk about...but not anymore.

Word Count: 4.1K (sorry)

Rating: Mature

August

August:

“Well, well, well....look who finally decided to show up." Avery says as you sit next her and Connie at Ms Taylor's Bakery.

"I'm not sorry. This is his first mission back………don’t look at me like that."

"I'm just wondering how you're going to survive 2 weeks without him." Avery says to get under your skin.

You give her your deadliest stare.

"Buck taught you 'the murder stare' I like it."

"Shut up, Avery. Anyways the boys are nervous too. Let me just pout for a little bit. Have we ordered? I need two slices of Mrs. T's strawberry pie."

You all started to chat and Maggie brings over coffee and pie. You are 3 bites in when your phone starts to ring, its Sam.

'Yesssss Samuel?"

"Its me babe." Bucky responds

“Oh hi…is everything going OK?" You ask trying to keep the panic out of your voice.

"Everything is perfect......take that breath your holding........and exhale........there you go."

You take two deep breaths and relax.

"I'm just checking in on the boys. I know Cass has video game camp and AJ has fishing camp."

"I drop them off in two days. Well, I'm glad you called to ask about the boys James."

"Ohhhh so it's like that? You know I can't talk about missing you....especially with the person who's phone I'm using is standing so close to me........move back like 5 steps, please."

"Excuses, excuses...." You say laughing.

"I love you, don't miss me to much."

"Ugh gross. And DON'T call! You almost got us killed last time." Sam shouts 

"I don't know why you had your PERSONAL phone with you while you are doing superhero stuff.......I'm really sorry about that."

"I forgot about it! It happened one time!" Sam shouts again.

"Again, I love you and we are landing....thank fucking God. I'm not jumping out of another plane again."

You start to giggle then immediately try to stop.

"He showed you! I'll kill him."

"Sorry! I love you too. Bye!"

"Byeeee!" Avery and Connie say.

You hang up and start eat your pie, but you quickly notice that you are being watched.

"What?" To ask the two women staring at you.

"So all the boys know....is he still staying downstairs?" Connie asks.

"Umm technically he is...."

"But you spend every night together.".

"Not every single night."

"But most nights?"

"Sure....why are you asking me this? You're about to ruin my pie."

"Sorry, it's just me being controlling. That whole blip thing kinda gave me PTSD. Jules moved out and hearing anything about other people's love life helps." Avery says as she drinks her coffee.

You and Connie just look at each other in shock.

You turn your full body towards her and take her right hand as Connie mirrors your action.

"We are here for you and will always be.” You say hugging her.

"I know. She is New Orleans and I'm not sure what to do. She got a great job offer and didn't really even consider asking the family to go with her. But enough about me! How was Brooklyn?"

"Well, hope everything goes the way you want it. I almost forgot about New York! Your first couples trip."

"Yes, what Con said, we love you. It wasn't a couples trip he was busy most of the time. He finally finished his mandated therapy and we packed up his apartment."

"Its official Delacroix is the new home of The Winter Soldier. Ethan was so excited to help him unpack." Connie says laughing.

"Sooo how's Sam been? He seems fine but every time you two kiss or even look at each other he sighs heavily." 

"Well.......honestly.....he's driving me crazy. If Buck and I are behind a closed door he wants to know what we are doing.

2 Weeks Ago:

You had just followed Bucky into his room to help him sort out his clothes to put in storage.

"Well as sad as I am to see this leather jacket get stored away, I'm definitely enjoying you in this tank top. It's doing you all the favors." You say as you ran your hands up his chest.

"I would probably die if I wore this jacket here. Well, my beautiful girlfriend bought it for me so I'm sure she knew actually what she was doing." He says pulling into his arms.

"A girlfriend? James Buchanan Barnes has a girlfriend? What a lucky lady." You say smirking.

"Yep, he does and he moved away from a crowded and noisy place just to be with her. It's the best decision he's ever made."

 You close the gap between you two and lean up to kiss him. He slides his hand to your ass and pulls you closer to him. You pull back slightly as he kisses down your neck.

There is a quick knock and Sam opens the door and walks in.

"Stop that. Your kids are here. No kissing. Barnes, take your hand off her ass."

"Get out." You both say not moving from your position in his arms.

"I live here! I don't want to see this."

"Then stop BURSTING into our rooms! You wouldn't see anything if your weren't looking for it. We've been doing this since he's been here and you had no idea. No fucking clue. We were having sex EVERYWHERE." You shout say pulling out of Bucky's arms.

"Ughhhh gross! I didn't need to know that. EVER. Then go back to hiding it."

“Hey Sam, fuck off." You say walking past him and heading up the stairs.

Sam and Bucky just stare at each other until Cass shouts at AJ.

"I literally asked you to not do ONE simple thing. Just that one thing and now you're living in my house sleeping with my sister. I swear on God if you hurt her I'll....."

"Never. I'll never hurt her. I'd die first. I didn't think she would ever want to be with me. I've never felt this way before. I'm not sure what you want from me but I'm not going anywhere."

Sam steps to the side as Buck walks past him and straight upstairs.

Sam sighs and heads out to the kitchen and starts to make dinner.

You were sitting on your bed staring at your off TV when Buck walks in.

"Hi."

"Hi. You ok?" He asks as he sits next to you.

You put your head on his shoulder.

"I am. Are you? I'm sorry he's so annoying.  He is just so protective but he needs to know I'm happy. You make me happy. I'm kinda obsessed with you." You say looking up at him smiling.

"I'm perfectly happy. You have given me a new life. I had no idea what I was going to do after I crossed off every single name in the book Steve left me. Following you unto the boat was the best decision I've ever made."

You just needed a minute to gather your thoughts and stop thinking about that incredibly hot old man outside.

"It was one night and you were both in your feelings so that night was just a great memory. But damn he kisses so so good.” You mumble out.

"I really hope your talking about someone I know." A voice says from behind you.

You turn quickly and James Buchanan Barnes is slowing walking towards you.

"Uhhh." Your mind goes blank this is the first time you've been alone with him since that night he was sitting on your porch.

"I'll just leave you alone." He says as he turns to walk out.

"Buck wait." You say walking towards him.

He turns slowly and walks up to you, you have to look up at him to see his face.

He licks his bottom lip then leans down and kisses you deeply.

You pull back slightly and look into his eyes.

"I'm sorry I should have....." He starts to say.

"Don't apologize. I want you..."

You weren't even able to finish your words before he kissed you again.

He pulls you flush against his body, you can feel him breathing.

You run your hands up his back and into his hair.

He pulls you in for a kiss then puts his hand on your chin and holds you to his mouth. 

You immediately moan.

He slides his tongue gently into your mouth which you accept happily. 

He starts to move down to your neck. 

"Ohhhh Buck you know what that does to me." He goes right to your spot and kisses and sucks on your neck and you can't keep the moan in.

"Trust me, I remember." 

He slowly walks you to the nearest wall as his hands start to roam.

"Oh yeah....I was very loud that night." You say giggling.

You were about to kiss him again when you hear your name being called.

“Ugh…this sucks. Are you staying on my couch tonight?” You ask before kissing him one more time.

“If you’ll have me?”

You give him your sexiest smile and head back onto the dock.

“That was definitely the night I knew I wanted to be with you.” You say nonchalantly.

“Well you had me hooked the second you smiled at me, you fidgeting with the clipboard was the sweetest thing I have ever seen.”

You lean up for a kiss, when someone (Sam) knocks on your bedroom door.

“What Samuel?”

“Just wondering if you want me to grab the tomatoes from the garden?” He says in a small voice.

“Yes. Thank you. I forgot to grab them earlier. We are just talking.”

“Gotcha.”

~~~

“Well, that’s annoying as fuck. But you two are constantly inside each other.” Avery says as you all walk outside.

“Well, excuse me! That’s it! Not another Hoe Tale from me.” You say heading to your car.

“Fine! I don’t need it. I’ll just use my imagination.” Avery shouts as she walks the direction in her house.

“Wait! I didn’t say anything about you two. I wanna hear what happen in New York.” Connie say following you.

“I changed my mind. I wanna hear it too.” Avery shouts as she suddenly turns around.

“Nope. Avery ruined it. It was good too…….so…….good.”

“Don’t be like that. I’m sorry! I’d love to hear every single detail. Hell, I’ll even watch! I mean you two are a bi’s wet dream.” Avery says as she grabs your hips and stops you from walking.

You turn around and Avery pulls you into a hug.

“Love you, bestie!”

“Excuse me?” Connie says looking at this hug.

“Aww a threesome! “ Avery shouts just as Mr and Mrs Devereaux walk by.

“Tell your brother we are so proud of him! And that white boy too.” Mrs Devereaux say as she waves.

You pull out of the hug and wave.

“Thank you! I will definitely tell them both.” You say with a huge smile on your face.

“I see that smile on your face……hmmmmmm.” Mrs. Devereaux say again.

Connie and Avery burst out laughing as they walk in the Ms. Taylor’s.

“Fuck you both.” You say turning around.

“Yeah, yeah….Let’s get a drunk!” Avery says.

“It’s 11:45am on a Friday…and I have to get my boys”

“In like 2 hours! All of our kids are at the same swim class. My wife left me!”

You and Connie just look at each other.

“Fine! But I’m only having 1 drink.”

*3 shots and halfway through your 3rd Hurricane*

“Sooooo. I don’t know if I told you but……I used to have sex with your brother!” Avery slurs out.

“I know!  It's so very gross plus EVERYONE knew and you told me.”

“Yep, we been knew.” Connie say.

“Hey DT! Can we have Po boys! We are hungry."

The slender bartender turns to you three again.

"For the THIRD time Ave we don't have Poboys but LaKeith went to grab you some. Thank God, he just walked in. You three are cut off until Curtis get here."

"There was so much in that but I just care about the food now!" Avery says turning to see LaKeith.

You three to devour your Poboys and then quickly remember you had to pick your kids 

 5 minutes ago.

"Fuck! Fucking fuck! The boys! Your kids! Our kids. Dammit Ave!" You say trying to get off the stool.

"I called E he has the kids and is taking them to your house, Con." DT says to you three.

"Oh thank God!" You say taking another bite of your food.

You get text alert and you know exactly who it is.

Buck: Well, thank you very much for that voicemail.

Sarah: oh no.

Buck: yep.....not going lie the memory was great

Sarah: hi Buck. I got your gurl drunk. Ave.

Sarah: Sorry. I literally put my phone down for a sec

Buck: I'm glad you're having a great time. I love you. I gotta go.

Sarah: k. Come back to me.

Buck: nothing could stop me.

"Stop trying to read my texts Avery! Ohhhh look what he said." You say turning your phone to Connie and Avery.

"Ohhhh my goodness....." Avery just burst into tears.

"He loves you like so much. I just can't...." Connie says also bursting into tears.

"You guys.....stop......."You say bursting into tears over your two best friends being so happy.

"You three are a mess." Ethan says behind you.

"Thank God you're here.. Come get them."

You three are just a crying mess, Ethan pays the tab and LaKeith and herds you three to his car. You three all sit in the back row and finally stop crying.

"I love you three heffas so much." Connie says.

"Three? We are three. You mean two dummy. I love you three too" Avery says.

"Aww I love us three heffas too." 

You all start laughing hysterically and keep it up the whole way to your Avery's house.

"Oh wait my car is.....here? Wait huh? Y'all see my car right?!"

"Yes, Sarah that's your car Mr. Devereaux dropped it off."

"How? I have my.......how? When? Oooooh LaKeith." You say realizing your keys are gone.

"You are absolutely amazing. I love you more and more each day Ethan Michael Caro." Connie says leaning towards him.

"That's nothing, my love. In the trunk is a bag for Ave and Sarah you three are chillin at Avery's for the weekend........don't start the crying again."

You three just cry the rest of the way.

Before you know it your three are all lounging in the den texting your children.

"Well my boys are perfect."

"Same." They both say.

"I believe you owe us that Brooklyn Hoe Tale." Connie says.

"You Constance? Ughhhh fine. It's a good one. So we sorting through his clothes.....

Last weekend:

"What about this one?" Bucky says to you holding up the third of the same black henley.

"As I said before, 'no long-sleeved shirts' show that arm." You say getting on his bed, you scoot to the edge.

"Really? You think it's a good idea?" He asks as he tosses it in the donate box.

"Yes. I do. Not sure if your know this but.....that vibranium arm is kinda working for you and if I say so kinda hot........just a bit." You say smirking at him.

"Just a bit? I definitely remember you having some words for a nice young lady." He says walking up to you.

"Oooh you mean the heffa that gave you her Instagram account? You want me to go find her for you? I'm sure she waiting online for you." You say trying not to sound super jealous.

"I don't want anyone but you......ever." He says as he walks up to you.

"You sure? She was really pretty and her ass was amazing." 

“Very sure. I didn't even notice. I was to busy looking at you. You are the only woman I see no matter what. I'm absolutely in love with you and your ass is amazing." He says as pulls you closer to him.

Your legs are now around his legs and he moved you even closer so you can feel him against your ever increasing heat.

He leans down to you and brings you into a fiery kiss and while kissing you his hands are all over you. He slides his tongue in your mouth and caresses your tongue. You pull back a little from the kiss and he goes right to your neck and he is very close to your spot,

"Oh my goodness Buck....." He moves down to that spot on your neck that will seal the deal. You moan his name so loud, you can feel him smile against you.

"I love hearing you moan my name." He says as he kisses back up to your mouth. 

He leans you the back unto his bed and pushes you gently down. He reaches behind his head a pulls his shirt off and then leans over to unbutton your jeans and slides then down your legs.

"No panties" Hey quirks his eyebrows.

"No pantie lines." You sit up, take off your shirt leaving your bra on and then grab him by the belt and slowly start to unbuckle his jeans and reach your hand into his boxer briefs and start to massage him.

"Fuck, don't stop." After you get him right where your want him do you finally pull his dick out. You take him in your hand and start to pump him slowly while licking the tip like an ice cream cone. You remove your hand and lick him from base to tip a few times just to him moan your name. You finally end this torture any take him in your mouth as far as you can take him, you hollow your cheeks and start to bob up and down on his dick. Faster than slow to just licks, then you start all over. You cups his balls gently while focus on his head.

"Okkkkkk OK stop." You look up at him while slowly sucking the tip. You take him out of your mouth, "Are you sure?" You take him back in your mouth and swirl your tongue around him. 

He practically pulls you off of him and has you on your back, with his fingers dip into your pussy, gathering up your sweet nectar and bringing to his mouth. He lick his fingers clean and kisses you and slips his tongue in to give you a taste, he can taste himself in your mouth too. He pulls back and says,

"I just knew your pussy was dripping and I wanted some." He slides down your body and spreads your legs so wide and then pushes them up towards you. You are staring down and him as he take his tongue and swipes up your entire pussy.

"Buck...."

He does it again, but this time slower and when he get to your clit he takes it in his mouth. Your head falls back and you can barely stay up on your elbows.

"Hey look at me baby, I want you to watch me eat my pussy." You swear you are going to burst into tears, horny tears.

"I don't think I can." You choke out.

"Please, can you try, please."  You bring your head back up and try to scoot up so you can lean against the headboard. He releases his hold on your legs and the second you are touching the headboard he get you right back in that same position. Then starts the same way again he swipes up your pussy 3 times and the 4th time he swipes up he sucks on your clit. You have lost all abilities to talk or moan you are just whimpering as he keeps doing it over and over. He opens his mouth sticks his tongue out and starts at the back of your pussy and swipes up the whole thing until he flicks your clit, he finally starts doing it faster and faster sucking on your clit a little bit longer each time.

"Please, Buck.....please, please make me cum. I can't do it any longer." You cry out. 

He finally stops and the whole bottom half of his face is drenched in you. The sight alone could make you cum.

"Are you begging me to make you cum?"

"YESSSSSSS I am begging you to let me cum, please."

"But aren't you enjoying this," he leans over and sucks your clit in his mouth slowly waiting until its out of his mouth before slurping it back in, you moan out his name.

"Yes, always but....please."

You thought you had seen the many side of naughty Bucky but damn this whole new side was down right nasty. He says no words he just dives back into your pussy and is finally taking you to the finish. He has let go of your legs and now has his hands on your ass bringing you closer to his mouth. 

"Oh fuck thank you........thank.........mmmmm."

The pre-orgasm tension from all that build up snaps like a rubber band and you are cuming so hard are are practically fighting against his mouth that hasn't stopped attacking your clit. He grips your thighs so tight.

"Holy shit I am cuming......... I'm cuming.....Ohhhh my God........"

You are finally able to get away from his mouth.

"Holy shit I have never in my life cum like that, I thought it was never going to stop." You say giggling.

He just smiles at you as he wipes his mouth with his left hand.

You scoot up to the middle of the bed as he gets up and follows, you roll on to your stomach and get on all fours.

"Wow.........." He says as you look back at him.

He runs his hands over your hips and leans down and kisses your back.

he then unhooks your bra and tosses it. He stands up to take off the rest of his clothes and  quickly comes back to you. He then grabs your hips and presses himself against your folds  and slides into you as you moan and immediately clench around him.

"Ohhhh my God, Buck" 

"You feel amazing." He is thrusting into you so deep.

This position will having you a crying mess soon, you try to clench around him to help him cum and his steady pace is about to have you cuming already.

"Oh god right there...........right there.......... I'm cuming."

"Again, can you do it again." He keeps his same pace and hitting that same spot. He can feel you start to clench again. 

You barely have any time to recover before you are clenching around him again.

"Oh my goodness........ oh, oh....I'm.....cuming."

His grip on your hips tightens as he leans back and brings you with him, he is now thrusting up into you and has right hand on your hip and his vibranium hand is on your left breast. He feels you start to tremble around him again and this one brings him over the edge with you, he continues to thrust into you until he is empty. You both fall to the bed exhausted.

"I have no words for how amazing that was....." He says as a sigh.

"Right....we definitely can't do this position at the house."

"Nope. Not at all! Sam would move out." 

You both laugh as Bucky grabs his blanket over you both.

~~~

"I.......Um.........I.......damnnnnnnnn. I don't think I'll look at Buck ever the same." Connie says.

"Right!? He had me walking funny that whole weekend." You say staring at the ceiling.

You both look over at Avery who has her eyes closed.

"Your ass better not be asleep." You say.

"I'm not. I just mentally restarted your story.........damn.........get it girl........hold up........." Avery sits up immediately.

"Are you you two not using condoms?!"

"Say what?” Connie say.

"Umm....well...."

#mom's weekend and the winter solider #bucky x sarah #sarah x bucky #sarah wilson #bucky x sarah fanfiction #bucky barns fanfiction

[portraitoftheoddity]

Okay-- you guys want another cute story about my parents and food?

So my mother is an amazing baker. And as I mentioned in a reblog of the Oranges post, my parents now always keep fresh fruit in the house -- particularly bananas (my dad likes them with his breakfast). And whenever the bananas go brown, mom makes (really goddamn delicious) banana bread.

My parents are very avid outdoorsy folks and do a lot of hiking. They live in a mountainous region and basically climb a mountain every weekend (most of the mountains here are under 6,000 feet, but rocky), including in the middle of winter. Because cold and exertion eat through your blood sugar, they always pack trail snacks, and they developed a tradition of bringing a mini loaf of mom’s banana bread that they share on the summit.

Now a few years ago my father was having a midlife crisis and decided he was going to hike a REALLY big mountain. So he signed up for an expedition to climb Mt. Denali in Alaska -- the tallest peak in North America. The group he was going with had a trip planned where everyone would be responsible for hiking with and carrying their own gear, so you had to be prepared to hike up a big fuckoff mountain in potentially treacherous conditions with a heavy pack.

My mother was not going on this expedition (she has problems with altitude sickness) but dammit, she was not going to let my dad go get himself killed by being unprepared. So in the year leading up to his climb, she kinda became his personal trainer. They hiked the local mountains a lot and in all kinds of weather conditions, practiced rope training and crevasse rescue techniques, and she made sure he practiced climbing with increasingly heavy packs until he was hauling around 65lbs of weights on his back. Sometimes she would even sit in a sled in the snow and make him pull her. 

When the trip finally came, dad was incredibly excited, and amused that his gear pack actually ended up being lighter than his practice pack. A number of other folks in the expedition had practiced going up a stair machines with weight on their backs, but mom had dragged dad through all the really rocky, treacherous trails around here with ice and water crossings, so he had solid balance from really moving with that amount of weight. Over the course of the climb (which took a couple weeks), half of the hikers ended up turning back (for various reasons), but despite being the oldest in the group, dad was one of the few to summit. 

And on the day he made it to the top, at 20,310 feet of elevation, he pulled out of his pack, wrapped in foil and mostly frozen but intact despite the long trip, a loaf of my mother’s banana bread, to eat on top of the world. Because, he said later, even if she wasn’t there with him, she was the reason he made it to the top.

#anecdotes #family stories #lena's stories

[suituuup]

pieces - chapter seventeen

Five years ago, Chloe dropped off the face of the Earth. Beca didn’t expect to see her again dancing in a strip club, out of all places.

rating: E (drug use and emotional abuse in early chapters)

ao3 link

*

A shrill cry pulled Beca out of her slumber with a startle. It had been a month, but she had yet to get used to being awoken by baby cries. Tonight was her shift, and she swung her legs to the side and she pushed back the covers, her bare feet hitting the carpet floor and carrying her across the hall. 

“It’s okay, Bean,” she soothed as she picked Marleigh up, cradling her against her chest as she headed down the hall towards the kitchen. She fished a pouch of breast milk from the fridge and expertly poured it into a bottle with one hand, all the while trying to soothe Marleigh’s cries by rocking her lightly. Setting the bottle inside the warmer (best purchase they had made), she hit the button and paced the living room while it heated up, pressing soft kisses over Marleigh’s velvety hair. 

Once the milk was at the perfect temperature, she padded back to the nursery and settled into the rocking chair, shifting Marleigh to the crook of her elbow and bringing the teat to her lips. 

“Here we go,” Beca murmured, her tone full of love and affection for the three-month-old as Marleigh’s cries subsized to coos as she fed, her big blue eyes locking with Beca’s. She was a carbon copy of Chloe, and Beca was truly obsessed. “Much better, huh?” She smiled. “Listen MJ, tomorrow I have to go back to work. It sucks big time, and I’m going to miss you so, so much, but I’ll come back at night, okay? I’m not abandoning you, or anything. I’ll never do that. I promise.”

Once Marleigh was done, Beca changed her and sang her a lullaby, gently lowering her in her crib. Marleigh had the habit of sleeping with her arms up by her head, and it was the most adorable thing. 

Come morning, Beca was definitely reluctant to go back into the office. Chloe and Marleigh were doing tummy time in the living room when she rounded the corner to pour her coffee into a travel mug. 

Chloe smiled and picked Marleigh up, carrying her over. “Ready for your first day back?”

“No,” Beca mumbled as she screwed the lid back on, pouting a little. “Send me photos and videos, alright?” 

Chloe giggled. “I will, don’t worry.” 

“Come here, Bean,” Beca said, plucking her from Chloe’s arms. She kissed her forehead. “I love you.”

As though sensing her sadness, Marleigh wailed as soon as Beca transferred her back into Chloe’s arms, making Beca’s departure a thousand times more difficult. She spent her first meeting of the day with her mind wandering to the two people she left at home, daydreaming about going back home later that day. 

“Knock, knock.” 

Beca looked up from her computer, grinning at the sight of Chloe and Marleigh. She was just about to leave for lunch. “Hey! What are you guys doing here??” 

“We thought we would come to have lunch,” Chloe said as she stepped inside and placed a bag on Beca’s desk. 

“Oh my god, she’s a bear,” Beca gushed as she walked around the desk to take Marleigh from Chloe once she was out of the chest carrier. The baby was clad in the most precious bear fleece winter suit, complete with a hood sporting round ears. She kissed Marleigh’s cheek. “Hi, Bean. I’ve missed you.” 

“How was your first morning back?” Chloe asked a few minutes later once she was settled down in the chair opposite Beca’s desk, nursing Marleigh. 

“Busy,” Beca said once she’d swallowed her mouthful of poke rice. “But good. It’s nice to get back into it, even though I miss you guys.” 

“We’ve missed you, too,” Chloe murmured with a soft smile. “Maybe we’ll do this lunch thing regularly. It’s nice to be outside. We can meet at the park when it gets warmer, too.” 

Beca smiled. “That sounds like a great idea.” 

*

It was strange, for someone as workaholic as Beca to be looking forward to the weekend, now. She and Chloe had a pretty good routine down. During weekdays, she would wait for Beca to come home to start Marleigh’s nighttime routine: bath, feed, and playtime. On weekends, Beca usually spent her mornings entertaining Marleigh so Chloe could have a lie-in and she and Marleigh some bonding time. She also made sure to come home earlier on the days Chloe had therapy or NA meetings, so she could watch Marleigh. 

Her absolute favorite thing was whenever Marleigh fell asleep sprawled out on her chest while she lounged on the couch. 

“Oh my goodness,” Chloe murmured the first time she was there to witness the scene. She whipped out her phone. “Don’t move.” 

Beca chuckled. “Couldn’t even if I wanted to. She’s been passed out like this for an hour. Sorry, I didn’t get a start on dinner yet.” 

“Don’t worry about that. Did everything go okay?” 

Beca nodded. “Yeah. We did tummy time, then had a snack, and then decided we were too tired to do anything else, so we passed out on the couch.” 

Chloe smiled as she sat down next to them. She brushed a kiss to Marleigh’s forehead, then one to Beca’s cheek. “You guys are so cute. Oh, I went to pick up the birth announcements from the photographer, check this out.” Chloe pulled out a stack of pictures, handing one to Beca. 

“Oh my god, she’s adorable,” Beca said, smiling fondly as she gazed at Chloe. “You really said copy and paste, huh?” 

Chloe laughed. “I know. It’s pretty crazy. Part of me is glad she doesn’t look like him at all,” she admitted. “Not that I would love her any less but, yeah…” 

“I get it,” Beca murmured. 

When Marleigh woke up, they let her play on her own on her mat for a bit while they worked on dinner, singing along to the music playing. At now four months old, Marleigh was able to start eating solid food, which they were trying for the first time tonight.

“Tonight’s menu is a carrot, sweet potato, and parsnip puree,” Beca commented as she stirred the homemade concoction with a spoon. “Doesn’t sound too bad, does it, Mar?”

Chloe had her phone ready to record, and Beca scooped half a spoon, blowing on it then presenting it to the baby. Marleigh closed her lips around it and paused, a perplexed expression flashing on her features once she seemed to realize this definitely didn’t taste like milk. Beca chuckled and backed away a bit, half expecting Marleigh to spit it right out, but the baby ended up swallowing and opening her mouth for more. 

They gave her a bath afterward, and read her a story. Marleigh usually woke up for a feed around ten pm, which Chloe handled while Beca washed the dishes after their own dinner. She changed and washed up for bed afterward, messing around on her phone for a bit. 

A knock on the open door made her look up. 

“Hey,” she murmured. “All good?” 

Chloe nodded. “Yeah, she’s down.” She padded over and laid down, shifting to her side. 

Beca set her phone aside, mirroring her position. “What’s up?” 

“You’re amazing, you know that?” Chloe said. “Like… since the start. With taking me in, paying for rehab and my dad’s treatment, being by my side through my recovery and pregnancy, and now this-- raising Marleigh like she’s your own. You’re…” she shook her head. “I want to find the words to tell you how grateful I am, but I don’t think those exist.” 

Beca’s heart swelled with Chloe’s words. She smiled, blinking back the tears burning behind her eyes. “I know you’re grateful, I promise. And since we’re telling each other what we think…” she grabbed Chloe’s hand. “I’m in awe of you. Since day one. Accepting to go to rehab, keeping the baby, being a kickass mom. Marleigh is incredibly lucky.” 

“Thank you,” Chloe murmured. “I just hope I won’t mess up.” 

Beca nodded, squeezing her hand. Chloe had expressed concerns about being able to remain sober once she would stop breastfeeding a few months from now. “I know you’ll do your best not to.”

“Can I…” Chloe hesitated. “Can I sleep in here tonight?” 

A soft smile curved Beca’s lips and butterflies flapped in her belly. “Yeah, of course. I’d love that.” 

As Chloe got settled under the covers and turned on her opposite side, Beca waited for a few beats, then draped an arm across her middle, shuffling closer. “This okay?” 

“Yeah,” Chloe breathed in the darkness. Her fingers loosely laced with Beca’s. “Goodnight, Bec.” 

*

“I’m home!”

“We’re in the kitchen!” Beca called out as she stood by the island, Marleigh propped on her hip. Today was an important day, but the five-month-old didn’t seem all that aware. “Happy one year of sobriety!” 

Chloe’s eyes widened, taking in the sight of the cake that bore the same sentiment. “Oh my god,” she breathed out, tears pooling in her eyes. “You remembered.” 

Beca rolled her eyes. “Duh. Of course, I did.” She glanced at Marleigh. “Can you say happy one year of sobriety mommy?” 

Marleigh reached out for Chloe in response, emitting the cutest cooing sound. 

“Close enough,” Beca decided with a soft laugh. She smiled at Chloe. “How do you feel?” 

“Good. Proud,” Chloe said, beaming. 

Beca nodded. “As you should. I’m also freaking proud of you, Chlo.” 

Marleigh rested her tiny hand on Chloe’s cheek when a tear slid down, big blue eyes focused on her mom. Chloe exhaled a watery chuckle. “It’s okay, Bean. Mommy’s alright.” 

Beca grinned, taking the knife. “Shall I cut this bad boy?” 

“One sec,” Chloe said, stepping closer to pluck the knife from her hand and set it on the table. Before Beca could ask her what she was doing, Chloe’s lips were on hers in a soft kiss that stole the breath from her lungs. 

It was short, chaste, but sent Beca’s mind for a spin. 

“I love you,” Chloe murmured as she pulled away, brushing her nose against Beca’s. “Thank you for being so patient with me and going at my pace. But I feel ready now. To start something real, with you.” 

Beca blinked. “Can you say that again?” 

“Which part?” Chloe asked with an amused smile. 

“The… love part.” 

“I love you,” Chloe repeated, resting her forehead against Beca’s. “And I want to be with you.” 

Beca closed her eyes, basking into the pool of happiness spreading inside her as those words danced in a loop in her mind. She reached up to cup Chloe’s cheek, cradling her face tenderly. “I love you, too.” 

*

“Hey. Breathe,” Beca coached, taking Chloe’s hand at the red light. 

Today was Marleigh’s six-month-check up, and as always whenever they went to the doctor’s, Chloe was terrified something might be wrong. 

It had been two weeks since Chloe’s kiss and confession, and they’d been taking things slow. They hadn’t had sex yet, but Beca was in no rush at all. She knew Chloe would probably be more reluctant with that aspect of their relationship given everything she’d been through (Beca guessed, as Chloe never broached the topic), and she was once again following her lead. 

Chloe nodded, puffing out a breath as instructed. “Thanks.” 

Beca couldn’t help but feel slightly nervous as well as they waited in the doctor’s office. Marleigh seemed and looked healthy; she rolled over now, made different sounds, and reacted to her name. Nothing indicated a failure to thrive, but something could be wrong with her heart, her lungs, or her liver without any physical sign showing up. 

“Good afternoon,” Dr. Gazzola greeted as she stepped inside the exam room. “Hello, Marleigh. Wow, you’ve gotten big since the last time I saw you!” 

Chloe chuckled. “She eats really well.” 

“Good. Are you still nursing?” 

“Yes. Once in the morning and in the evening before bed. The rest is solid food.” 

Over the next twenty minutes, Dr. Gazzola dotted down Marleigh’s weight and height, inquired about the milestones, and listened to her heart and lungs. Beca’s eyes widened when she said it was time for the shots. 

“Shots?” She asked, paling slightly. “Again?” 

Marleigh’s three-month-check up had been traumatizing for Beca, as she had felt powerless against Marleigh’s distress after getting two shots. 

“Want to hold my hand?” Chloe teased, though Beca knew it was hard on her, too. 

“Shut up,” Beca muttered, throwing her a glare. 

Chloe held Marleigh in her lap while the doctor administered three shots. Marleigh cried, but it wasn’t as bad as last time. 

“You were so brave,” Beca gushed as she put her onesie back on while Chloe asked the doctor about any signs of defects because of the drugs having passed in the placenta the first three weeks of pregnancy. Marleigh cooed, holding on a chunk of Beca’s hair and pulling it to her mouth. Beca chuckled and picked her up, propping her onto her hip as she focused on the doctor’s words. 

“I see no signs of defects so far. She hit all the six-month milestones, her weight and height are good. She’s as healthy as can be.” 

Chloe’s shoulder slumped, and she mustered a smile. “Okay. Thank you so much.” 

They strapped Marleigh back inside her car seat and carried it out to the car, Beca’s hand finding Chloe’s on their way out. 

“Wanna stop at Chick-Fil-A for lunch?” It felt deserved after that emotional hour. 

Chloe grinned. “Heck yeah.” She leaned in to kiss Beca, and Beca wasn’t sure when or if she’d ever get used to that. 

After lunch, they hung out at the park as it happened to be one of the first warm days of the year. Marleigh was getting a lot more curious and talkative, and putting everything within reach in her mouth, including rocks, they soon found out. 

“And that’s a dog,” Beca said as Marleigh sat in her lap. “Can you say dog? Or woof?” 

“Da!” 

Beca chuckled and glanced at Chloe to find her snapping a picture or filming. “Are you capturing more material to further destroy my reputation, Beale?” Beca asked, narrowing her eyes. 

Chloe giggled. “Don’t worry, I’m keeping this one for myself.” 

On their way out of the park, they ran into someone Beca never thought she’d see again. 

“Oh, hi.”

Beca blinked. “Hey, Sarah. How, um, how have you been?” 

“I’ve been good.” She cleared her throat, her eyes falling to Marleigh as she chilled in her stroller, munching on a teething toy and seemingly unaware of the awkwardness surrounding her. 

“This is Marleigh,” Chloe provided with a soft smile. 

“Wow, she looks just like you,” Sarah said. 

“Can I… talk to you for a minute?” Beca found herself asking, pointing over her shoulder. She sent Chloe a smile before she and Sarah stepped away. Beca rubbed the back of her neck. “I uh, wanted to apologize. You were right about my feelings for Chloe, I just-- I was oblivious. I’m sorry I unconsciously led you on more than I should have.” 

Sarah nodded. “Thank you for saying that. And it’s okay. The first couple of months were a bit rough, but then I met someone, and…” she smiled, glancing at the ground. “I’m really happy.” 

Beca’s shoulders slumped as that last bit of guilt she wasn’t aware she was carrying until now dissipated. “Good. I’m really glad to hear that, Sarah.” 

Sarah looked back to where Chloe was, crouched down in front of Marleigh and talking to her. “You guys make a beautiful family.” 

Beca smiled. “Thanks. It was good to see you,” she said, meaning every word. “Take care of yourself, Sarah.” 

She headed back to Chloe and Marleigh, taking Chloe’s hand as they resumed their way to the car. 

“You okay?” Chloe asked after a few beats. 

“Yeah,” Beca breathed out, lacing their fingers as she kissed Chloe’s cheek. “More than okay.” 

#bechloe

[ladysarahsakura]

Bucky Barnes X OC Ember

Note: Ember is my OC character for Marvel and is the daughter of Hades and Persephone. I also do not own anything here but my own OC I hope you enjoy!

They met in 1940, Sarah worked in a small flower shop in Brooklyn that James “Bucky” Barnes and Steve Rogers chose to pop into that one afternoon. When James saw her, he couldn’t fight the urge to talk to her. He asked her for her help with picking out flowers for his mom and all Steve could do was smirk at his friend for fumbling his words at first. After making their purchases and paying, she told James to let her know how his mom liked them when he could. A week late, he caught her on her way home and James offered to walk her. He grinned when her cheeks bloomed a soft pink against her fair skin as she accepted. As they walked, the pair got better acquainted and learned they had similar interests. Bucky started slowly falling deeper and deeper for her as he watched her enthusiastically talk about her childhood. Once at her doorstep, he chose to ask her out to dinner next weekend and was ecstatic when she said yes. Over the next year, dinner dates turned into dancing, beach trips, picnics in the park, even to a few movies,. They were very much in love, more than once Steve would hear his best friend tell him, his mother and his siblings about how she was the one for him and that he wanted to marry her. By December though, the young lovers’ plans made a drastic change. The U.S had entered the fight over and Germany and Bucky had been drafted. Soon he was being shipped off to Camp McCoy in Wisconsin along with the other young men in his regiment. The week before his departure was heartbreaking for them. H promised to come back to her after the war was won and to write to her every single chance he got. She promised to wait on him and to keep an eye on his family and Steve until he returned. She gave him a small, leather-bound journal to use and said it was an early Christmas gift. He smiled softly at her with tears in his eyes as he grabbed hers, a small necklace with her birthstone as the pendant. On the day of his departure, he huggled Steve, his mom and his siblings goodbye and when Sarah handed him his bags, he pulled his girl into a deep kiss and repeated his promise to her and told her he loved her. He watched out his train car window until they were all out of sight. Sarah waited a full year and a half but was sadly called back home by her father before her soldier’s return home. When James came home and she was gone, Steve gave him the letter she told him to give him which said how much she loved him and how she would be back in Brooklyn before he got back from the war, gave a new mailing address and a promise to be there when he got home.

Sarah had a secret, a secret she was terrified to tell James, and that was who and what she truly was. Her birth name was Ember, her parents were greek gods- Persephone and Hades. She did wish to tell James the truth as they were slowly talking about spending their lives together, even if it would’ve cost her his love. She returned to the Underworld realm due to her father being swamped with new souls and paperwork due to the war overseas in the mortal realm. She returned to Brooklyn in 1945, only to learn Steve had taken part in a military experiment and became Captain America only to crash a plane into icy waters and couldn’t be found and that Bucky- her Bucky- was gone. She mourned with his family and helped them however they needed her to until once again she was called to the underworld, to mourn on her own time.

Fast forward to 2011, now a member of S.H.E.I.L.D, being told by Director Fury that Steve was alive. He put her in charge of helping him when he woke up which didn’t go as planned. After calming her old friend down, she explained everything including what she was and why she never told Bucky. He assured her that he would’ve loved her no matter what. She longed to see him again to know if that was true, little did she know she would get that chance.

2014, she was just as shocked as Steve and Natasha to find Bucky not dead but brainwashed by H.Y.D.R.A. An ability she possessed was mind-reading and memory recovery which can only be used through direct contact with the person wishing to have their memories recovered. As Bucky- now the winter solider- went to grab her, she twisted his human arm behind his back and slammed him to the ground, before her hand could reach the back of his headache had flipped them around, grabbed her by the throat with his metal hand and was about to hit her when he was knocked over by Sam Wilson. She didn’t join Sam and Steve going against Bucky when they encountered the winter soldier on the Triskelion but did assist Steve in Romania when they finally tracked down his location.

Present time after the blip so much has changed. Sam is now the new Captain America and Ember and Bucky finally had a moment of peace to catch up. His memories were still hazy about her but he knew she was important to him. Each passing day he remembered her more and more, mainly as the girl at the flower shop and the girl he took to dinner a week or so after. He trusted her wholeheartedly and once learning what she was and of the powers she possessed, he trusted her even more. She didn’t shy away from him, she wasn’t scared of him even after their violent meeting again after almost 60 plus years, she sided with him against her other friends, and now that Steve had retired, he spent almost every day he could with her. He loved the city but for once he took his therapist’s advice and moved out of Brooklyn. Instead of living with Sam, he moved to Pennsylvania which was where Ember was. In a two-bedroom cottage in the rural part of the state with an attached Morticia Addams style conservatory that housed all matters of plant life, was where she settled. Buck lived in a studio apartment in the neighbouring town which was only a few minutes away from her however he felt as if he belonged beside her. The two shared a usual breakfast and sat at her kitchen island when more memories of her flooded his mind. By this time she had already told him the truth of who she was as well as her parents and they had even met Bucky. As she reentered the kitchen from watering a few of her plants, she saw the look on Bucky’s face and grew concerned, “ You alright, Buck?” His gaze rested on the pendant that was around her neck, “ I-I gave that to you. In 1941 before I had to leave for training, didn’t I?” He sounded scared almost. His memories of him and Steve had come back in droves after being woken from the cryostasis and with Shuri and the other Wakandan scientists help. His only memory of her was being the girl from the flower shop as well as her truth she told him after he was woken up and Bucky internally panicked thinking he messed something up somehow. “Yes. You gave it to me as an early Christmas gift because you wouldn’t be there. Bucky, an ability I have is memory recovery did Steve or Sam tell you that?” She spoke softly to him trying to ease his panic. When he said no she went on explaining what her ability could do. When she activated this ability, she could take someone into their own mind and show them the memories they oppressed or couldn’t remember. He stood slowly and walked to her side of the island and grabbed her hands, placing them on his cheeks, “I want to remember you. Please.” Ember studied his eyes for a moment before her hands glowed a soft blue. Suddenly, she and bucky were back in 1940’s Brooklyn and Bucky smiled, pointing out what places were still standing in the modern-day. The two took the path he and small Steve took every day until they spotted himself and Steve making their way home from work. A perk was nothing in your memory could be tainted so the pair followed through the crowd, not worried about getting caught. His hand instinctively grabbed hers as they followed young Bucky into the flower shop she worked at. Another perk was you could hear the person’s inner thoughts from that time so suddenly Bucky heard his voice talk about how pretty she was and he saw Ember’s cheeks turn that same soft pink again. Suddenly the memory shifted to him walking her home, asking her out to dinner, and a feeling of anxiety washed over them, ‘Bucky had been nervous about their first date’ she thought fondly. Memories played of them being in her apartment, of her meeting his family and the bear hug his mom gave her, Suddenly they were in his childhood bedroom with small Steve drawing away as Bucky got ready for another date with her, “ I’m telling you, Steve, she’s the one. I’ve never felt this way about someone before.” Small steve chuckled and told his friend that was the fifth time he’d told him that. Again the memory changed to Bucky at Sarah’s apartment, laying on the full bed she had, talking about the future as

she worked on a new yarn project. Present Bucky suddenly asked to stop and immediately the world changed back to their modern selves in her cottage. She went to let go of Bucky’s face, scared she’d done something wrong but he didn't let her go yet just had her back facing him. “ I fell in love with you quicker than I ever thought I could fall for someone. I remember going to the jewlery store to get your necklace that day and looking and engagement rings because I wanted to surprise you with a ring I had been eying fr months” there was a small pause,. “Why didn’t you tell me what you were back then?” His voice was soft as he turned her around to face him, slowing whipping the tears from her face, “ I-I didn’t know how. I-I thought you- you’d hate me or think I was lying or just some freak. When I finally wrote everything down the way I wanted to say it, you got drafted. I didn’t want you to hate me when you left. I wanted to make sure you were happy before you left.” She began sobbing, trying to shrink in on herself when he pulled her into him. “You really think that would’ve made me hate you? I mean it would’ve been a surprise, yeah but I fell in love with you for you not for what you are, that doesn't and didn't matter to me. I loved you then and I love you still.” Bucky suddenly felt very nervous, saying he loved her after decades apart wasn’t easy and letting people in wasn't easy for Bucky anymore, but he knew she was worth it still. He just hoped she felt the same way he did. He saw her fighting with her own brain, trying to think of how this would affect him now. He took her face in his hands and proposed something to her. Making new memories, a second first date and if after a few dates, they still wanted each other then they’d pick up where they left off. He saw her smile softly and it made his heart skip. Slowly leaning in, he kissed her softly, almost scared until she chose to deepen it. The memory of the first time they kissed popped into their heads along with all their other kisses. Pulling away he chuckled, genuinely happy again.

For once, he felt safe and at home.

#james buchanan bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #fluff #mcu #marvel oc

[lesless]

Hm so, I have found many a small joy in doing for others. I feel very lucky & I want to share my newfound peace & stability. So I, mail food to family & friends & buy pretty parchment & send letters with stickers inside because I think that might brighten peoples days. Truly, I have everything I need & want even & that’s SO bizarre for me, I guess because I grew up so broke & I never really thought I’d ever do better than my moms struggle & sharing a bunk bed with her & being hungry & tired & afraid of what’s to come all the time. I didn’t think I’d find such good friends who love me, & I certainly didn’t think I’d end up being the rock in so many lives. & I’m so grateful to be that harbor for people & now that I have expendable income I can buy art & food for friends & stamps, as many stamps as I want. Roses or sunflowers even, just because, to spruce up the dining table we have. I’ve never had a dining room table & even though it’s a used ikea table that was like $100 including the chairs I love our table. I love my comfortable couch & that I have linen (blend) sheets. I love our plants & my dogs & the little fish that sit atop Terry’s home. & sometimes I get so overwhelmed with how lucky I am that I don’t even know what to say.

Today I went to the discount store to try to find more long skirts but, they’re out of season. Instead, I found $3 ghost hand towels for our kitchen that say “I’m here for the BOO’s” & “You’re my BOO” & there’s ghosts on them. I found a stupid huge canvas for $19.99 that would have made me at 22 cry for sheer joy & I spent part of this PM sketching out ideas for the huge thing. I also spent considerable time picking out winter layers for the men in our area, I got my bf a cozy lee brand fleece snap-button layer he keeps calling an “old man coat” much to my distaste. I got the neighbor a really nice coat with loads of pockets & his dad a pullover that he might not like lol. I should’ve looked for a coat for our hiking friend Will but I didn’t see anything that particularly screamed his name. It made me happy to deliver these. It took me a solid 15 minutes in the parking lot to Tetris my fucking huge ass canvas into the car.

Lately I feel I am really coming into my own. I understand my comfort & style now that I’ve had a few years of play $ to figure out what I like (all spent at dd’s discounts or comparable shops lol) I’ve been spending some time sketching &, I’m nearly back in my groove. It takes an embarrassingly long time to warm up for me. I guess. I’ve felt so good food-wise like we really honed in on what causes inflammation & mood disturbances in my system! I do want to dance more. Like, out, & not embarrassingly in my home haha. I’m really loving my book, I’m nearly done, & how bittersweet that is. I’m enjoying our show & that my partner loves an anime from my childhood as much as I.

I’ve maybe finally learned how to un-tense. I’ve been expecting bad to follow my good &, how miserable that is. How paranoid, & what a defense mechanism. I’ll just handle the bad when it comes instead of bracing for it.

It was interesting to wander stores & find noting I need. It was a strange feeling. To have nothing in dire need replacement or repair. To have nothing titillate my wants. Instead, I feel I need to purge some old things. I’ve found a little church that helps the homeless to donate old camping pads to, perhaps clothes as well. How lovely it is to give.

Winter creeps in at night, & is boiled out in the day. I worry maybe I won’t be able to fill all these canvas. Not with anything good, anyway, but that thought feels defeatist. We are meant to camp this weekend, but our friend may be coming down with a cold. So, we will see. I cleaned the whole house today, too, & here I am at 11:11, smiling big, making wishes.

#me

[captainshazamerica]

I can see why gar is your fave he is an actual angel and he seems to be the only one rooting for the good in jason aside from hank that is but yikes, I'm loving mom kory!!! gar calling dick 'grayson' and telling him off 😅 dick sitting like oh my s*it my son is shouting at me what do I do like his face there hahaa Dick in the vent was so adorable to me and I don't know why I freakin swooned at him crawling through a vent what is wrong with me 😅 I hope blackfire is actually trying to become a titans fam member and doesn't have secret ulterior motives ❤ her and kon was just awww 😊WHAT THE HECK HAPPENED AT TIMS that was a lot of gun shots was it just that one dude that got shot or did he shoot everyone, is tims family okay!? Yoo when tim gets with the titans or bruce he gonna be upset with jason, Jason standing outside listening to the gunshots dude noooo i really hate waiting a week. go babs!!!! I love that she could still hold her own, the dickbabs oh no but at least it was a flashback and not a rekindling what was with that plot of barbara being like I don't just want people to see me as a gordon but I don't wanna work with bruce cuz his rules are basically my father's so I guess I'll go copy selina and steal some shiny stuff just for funsies? Was babs a thief at some point in the comics or did titans just wanna do something surprising I have no clue, I can't wait for Rachel and Donna to come back and I kinda hope they'll be more on gars side in terms of rooting for the best in jason and thinking that he needs to be helped not stopped, I still love that dream thing with Donna it was so cool I hope it comes back up or jason remembers it and donna tells him it was her trying to help him, Kory tryna tell dick about blackfire and hes like nope not listening too busy (I mean I get it) but Richard Grayson will you listen to your wife when she wants to talk to you!! For the next mini mom mission korys gotta bring gar kon and blackfire all in the car with her 💕 how much of that toxin did he give out in Gotham cuz like thats gonna be messy if a bunch of criminals are suddenly fearless all at the same time, Crane is gonna be so fckn mad at Jason maybe that's what will drive him back to titans (I'm being way too optimistic) If jason can make a version of that toxin himself in his own lab place then why does he even need crane anyways, I love how polluted this cranes mind is 🎪

“Ohhh shite that dude was that tims dad!!? 🎪 yo I can't if it was”

AHH I just realized I never responded to this! I am so sorry! My chronic depression decided it was long overdue for an episode this weekend and went hard during that time of month :')

YAS! Gar getting that fan love he DESERVES! Yes to all that! He is just SOOO loyal and that is one of my fav qualities ahhh. And yes! I LOVED how they showed him still all upset about Jason!!! Mom Kori and Dad Dick are my fav things ever omg. Dick always needs to be called out every now and then, and you know its bad when Gar is the one to do it xD But u right, Dick was so confused then troubled by it after, all worried for him ahhh

Omg Dick crawling in the vent xD same though, nothing beats him in that first episode strutting and twirling those escrima sticks omg <3333 Im still swooning over that man xD

Yes! I hope they end up adopting backfire into the titans fam, I love a good dysfunctional sibling on the same team trope, come on titans, do what they didn’t do with Thor and loki and not having them work together more/same team. Omg, Kon was SO PURE ahhh, I love him so much and he needs all the protection against this mean mean world xD

*cries* yeah, that was Tim’s dad D: Cause we can’t have good things in DC’s world and they were like oppp we made Tim too happy, someone gotta die. D:

Jason was looking so bad at the end there, like he got Bucky Barnes Winter Solider level raccoon eyes D: He looked so far gone and lost D: And im scared its just gonna get worse before it gets better D:

Tbh, I was really into that Dickbabs thoooo….. xD I feel like im the only one but they be cute!!!!

I feel like Donna may be on the stopping him side but Rachel would be more on Gar’s side, considering she fights her inner demons all the time and kinda gets it.

Omg yes we need more road trips with Gar, Kon, Kori and Blackfire!

OOOH, omg yes!! Like maybe Crane will get all pissed at Jason and douse him in fear gas and maybe THAT will be a turning point in terms of getting jason to snap out of it? Or contributes to him reconciling with the titans or at the very least going a different direction? hmmm

Right! This Crane is like SO good at a villain, like Im loving it so much

#titans #titans spoilers #titans season 3 #dc titans #batman #speculation #red hood #jason todd #meredith thoughts #batanon #meredith gets an ask #ask #anon

[uncleshits]

OMGCP x PJO AU

Nursey, Dex and Chowder Camp Halfblood bullet-fic under the cut!!

-Dex has been at camp for a while, Head Counselor of Hephaestus Cabin, he’s in charge of maintaining the camp’s buildings and building new cabins when needed, he got there pretty young, and lives year round.

-Nursey gets to camp and isn't really phased by the whole "gods are real" thing (he spent most of his life agnostic so its all chill), but he almost passes out on the spot when he sees Dex for the first time, lifting 3x his weight in celestial bronze like its nothing and smiling and guiding one of his younger siblings back to the cabin and "yeah okay this whole camp thing is pretty fuckin swasome"

-Nursey is claimed by Dionysus, he's hardcore into the gender and sexuality side of his dad's domain, and while he can make the second best tub juice in camp (after Shitty, one of the many reasons Mr. D loves him), he gets absolutely sloshed after like 3 sips of tub juice, and usually ends up on the roof of the Big House or at the Aphrodite cabin, waxing poetic with the Apollo cabin kids about strawberry seed freckles and fire-forge red hair

-A few weeks after Nursey arrives at camp a minor quest comes up, Dex and Nursey both volunteer, Nursey because he thinks it would be exciting and he wants to prove himself right off the bat, Dex because he really doesn't want the new kid to get killed because of his own stupidity/ignorance of mythology, this starts their rivalry, which leads to a coin-flip for quest leader (which one of the Tyche kids effects the coin so it lands sideways)\

-They go on their first quest together and realize they work really well together when they aren't bickering and arguing

-After that there's several months of general pining and repression and Every Single Person at camp getting sick of the heart eyes and romantic tension

-Chowder arrives at camp as the child of one of the minor sea gods over in California, but when he gets to camp there isn't a cabin for his parent, so he stays in the Poseidon cabin for a few days while consulting with with Dex about his new cabin, and Nursey joins (mostly so he can stare at Dex while he’s building) but he and Chowder hit it off and the three of them become the Frogs

-Chowder pretty quickly clues into the pining, but doesn't want to push too hard on his new friends or confront them and upset the careful balance of flirting and bickering they have going

-But then Mr. D sends them on some bullshit quest and tells Chowder "please for the love of gods just get my son and Billy Poindickster together, I am so sick of listening to Derek whine about how hopeless his crush is and I do NOT want to get Aphrodite involved in this"

-I’m not sure how they actually get together on the quest yet, probably a dramatic near death experience and the rush of winning a battle

🐸Powers and Activities🐸

-Dex lives there year round, (younger campers have lots of theories about his homelife and his Tragic Past, really he loves his mom but she's a single mother and it’s just easier for him to stay at camp, plus he loves his siblings and wants to be there for them as much as possible)

-Dex in one of the leaders around camp, since he’s been there so long and most of the campers trust him to be level-headed

-Dex is Constantly Warm, like a human furnace, so during winter he can still wear shorts and a t-shirt, but he's constantly chirping Nursey for complaining about the cold or not bundling up properly

-Dex struggles with building from scratch or intricate machinery, but he can fix almost anything or put it back together. He loves building and fixing cabins and things around the camp

-Dex spends a solid week convinced Nursey is from the Aphrodite cabin when he arrives before someone tells him his actual godly parent 

-Nursey lives at camp year round and visits his moms in the city on weekends and during holidays, but they work and travel a lot and Nursey staying at camp keeps him out of trouble

-Nursey has 10,000 poems comparing Dex to the flames and embers and bronze in the forge

-Nursey loves his leaf piles, especially out in the strawberry fields, where he can help the crops grow with his dad's power, and he loves all of the wood nymphs (Dex is definitely not jealous of all the flirting they do with him)

-Chowder only stays at camp during summer, but he Iris Messages Nursey and Dex weekly and trains at Camp Jupiter during the year (where he meets Farmer)

-Chowder doesn't have a lot of control over water but he can talk to and control sea animals, so when Dex gets homesick Chowder draws up some lobsters from Maine and asks them for updates on Dex's hometown

-also Chowder has actual frogs reenact arguments between Nursey and Dex so they can see how ridiculous they've been acting

-and he has an actual pet shark, the bottom of his cabin is a tank that connects to the ocean so his shark has more room to swim or leave if he wants but his shark likes him enough to stick around

#omgcp #check please #nurseydex #pjo au #I have lots of ideas for the others if people want to hear them #but I had most of the fogs written out #literally anyone talk to me about this #mine #dex #nursey #chowder