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vibratingskull · 3 days

Note

You reopen your request! You must be drowning with requests.

Can I ask for Thrawn xF!reader.

Reader Is born mute, and because of their she had been tormented by her father for a very long time, and because of this she doesn't trust men.

Thrawn falls in love with her and gains her trust, helping her heal. Maybe eventually smut?or just some fluff?

I do have a good number of them indeed ! I will do my best to honor them all!

Thrawn x F!reader

Tags : Non-speaking reader, abusive and violent past, little hurt/a lot of comfort, tooth rotting fluff

You recoil in fear...

You can hear the footsteps approaching and the sound of the belt. You can still feel its bites on your skin the last time he used it! You cover your ears, knee pressed against your chest, trying to squeeze in your hiding spot.

If only you could scream and alert the neighbors...

“I know you are hiding around here (Y/n). If you go out now I promise not to be too harsh on you...” Your father calls walking in the room you are in.

Don’t open the closet. Don’t open the closet. Don’t open the clos-

“There you are you useless little...!”

You wake up in a split second, breathless and sweating.

Another nightmare...

You sigh, they have been recurrent lately. It’s the stress. You are in a new campaign with new enemies. New battlefields and risk of dying...

But you knew what you signed up for by enlisting in the Navy, trying to escape your violent father. But he kept following you in your dreams.

You rise from your bed. It is not time for your shift but you won’t be able to sleep for the rest of the night. Might as well rise early.

Grand Admiral Thrawn asked your help for a task anyway...

----------------------------------------------------

You focus on your datapad.

This art piece should go in this section, while this one goes there...

Your mind is focused on your task, categorizing art pieces for Grand Admiral Thrawn for his next campaign. Usually, he does it himself but he picked up on your knowledge of the region’s art and asked you for help.

You don’t mind, it’s easy for you.

His art collection has extended lately, a lot of presents and auctions won. But mostly a lot of holographic ones that you need to categorize by species, civilizations, time periods, and planets.

“A cup of caff, Senior Lieutenant?” A melodious voice rises behind your back making you jump.

Thrawn appears slightly amused by your reaction. When did he enter the storage room?

“You should learn to focus without sacrificing your awareness of your surroundings, (F/n).” He preaches, handing you a fuming cup.

Oh... That is nice of him to bring you a hot drink. You take the cup, bowing down your head in gratitude. You lift the cup to your lips, black with the lightest touch of sweetener as you love it.

“While you are here, Senior Lieutenant, I need your expertise on some signs I learned recently.” He asks, his amused expression letting place to his professional demeanor.

One thing you are grateful for is that Grand Admiral Thrawn is actually taking the time to learn sign language. You do not always have the occasion or the time to type your words in your datapad to express yourself and he started learning to understand your signing.

Until now he was the only one to do it.

“What does this sign signify?” He asks, signing.

You take your datapad and type something on it, and a mechanical voice rises from the speakers.

[Iridescent]

He signs another one.

You frown, wrinkling your nose.

[You are a pagoda?]

He modifies his sign. You smile, understanding what he means.

[Assertion]

He nods, satisfied with the addition to his vocabulary.

Every day he takes an hour off his packed schedule to describe some art pieces to you to practice his signing and you correct him, showing him the good signs or formulation. He made spectacular progress in very little time, sometimes signing entire conversations with you while speaking the words out loud. You spent a lot of time discussing art and enjoying virtual expositions during some of his really rare times off.

Art is one of the only comforts you had for decades and discovering that your Grand Admiral shared your admiration really helped you relax around him.

Because Marker’s know how distrusting of men you are...

You sign ‘Thank you.’

“Why?” He tilts his head.

‘For learning the language, little people bother with it.’

“I need to be able to communicate with all of my officers at any given time. And a new language, whatever it is, is always useful.” He speaks and signs.

You nod with a thankful smile.

You quite like this man.

He is one of the very, very few you are comfortable with.

But since Commander Vanto disappeared out of nowhere, everyone has been on edge. You too, to be frank, but you were more worried about your reckless colleagues than the Grand Admiral. A lot were prone to judge him guilty for that disappearance, that he executed Vanto in some way...

To you, it didn’t make any sense.

At the depth of your being you know Vanto found his path and Thrawn didn’t endanger the life of his commander!

But that’s just a you thing, no one would take you seriously here.

You look up at Grand Admiral Thrawn, looking at his datapad, sorting his own list of art. He looks nothing like your tormentor, so much so that you have difficulties imagining them being part of the same category of person.

Your father was an Army officer and wanted a son.

But he got a non-speaking daughter.

And you pay the price since then...

You thought that going into the Navy he would look at you with pride for the first time in your life.

No.

To him, you were only good to marry off.

So you packed and left. He didn’t try to stop you.

You have been wary of any male approaching you since then. From the brutes to the ones aroused by your speech impairment you navigate life avoiding men and problems. Of course, once on an Imperial ship, you could never truly avoid them. Thanks to the Maker men's and women’s quarters are separated. Even today your two other roommates are women and you are thankful for that.

“A problem, Senior Lieutenant (F/n)?” Thrawn’s voice resonates in the room.

You blink, realizing that he is looking at you and that you are still fixing him intently. He must have felt your gaze on him. You shake your head and sign ‘Nothing’ and ‘Sorry.’

His gaze is clear and inquisitive, gauging you up and down.

“All is well.” He answers enigmatically.

He is aloof and professional as always but you don’t feel him... displeased? Like he truly is unbothered. You lower your gaze to your screen, he is patient with you but no need to push his buttons uselessly!

“I did not expect to see you this early.” He continues mundanely, focused on the hologram projected on his screen “Your shift is not supposed to start before four hours, why sacrificing your sleep?”

You breathe deeply and type on your datapad.

[Nightmares]

His gaze travels from his datapad to you, looking deep into your soul with his burning gaze. His face is neutral but a flicker of emotions seems to flash in his gaze before disappearing just as quickly.

“I understand.” He nods with a grave expression. “We are all grappling with our demons, you are not alone with fears.”

Is he... trying to comfort you? Why would he do that?

[Do you have nightmares too, Grand Admiral Thrawn?] You cannot help but ask.

He seems to think about it for a little moment. For a second you are afraid he will take offense to you prying into his personal life,

“In some ways. I can have unpleasant dreams like everyone else. This is the lot of warriors and those who set high goals for themself.” He finally responds with a focused tone.

Oh... So a man like Thrawn can also have nightmares? You would have never guessed that, he always appears so in control and... peaceful in some ways. Nothing ever comes troubling the inner balance of this man.

[How do you deal with nightmares when they become too much?] You ask full of hope for advice on how to let them consume you entirely.

“They never become too much. I never let irrational dreams hinder me in any way, those are simple remnants of your subconscious rising to the surface. No need to dwell on them unnecessarily, you only need a sharp mind to pursue your goals and mission.” He answers resolutely.

Oh...

Okay...

Not exactly the answer you hoped for. For some reason, you hoped he would reveal he does get affected by nightmares and would sympathize with you. But apparently, nothing can reach that man.

You sulk, feeling hopeless against the anxiety in your veins and the bad dreams plaguing your mind.

Thrawn notices.

“Nightmares are only figments of thoughts, they cannot harm you Senior Lieutenant. Do not give them the power to dictate your actions. You will find the strength to surpass them.” He tries, laying his hand on your shoulder.

This simple touch sends shivers down your spine, forcing the memory of your father’s hand on your skin, the bites of his knuckles on your fragile body. By pure reflex you slap his hand away, looking at him furiously.

Until the realization of your error flashes in your mind. What did you just do?!

Thrawn’s eyes flicker with surprise at your harsh reaction to his attempt to comfort you. But his aloof expression is back in a mere millisecond.

“Apologies, Senior Lieutenant (F/n). I did not want to make you uncomfortable. I trespassed my rights.”

You immediately shake your head in a panic, signing ‘Sorry’ multiple times. Fuck! What if he takes it badly? What if he gets angry? What if he decides to punish you? What if-

“There is no harm, (F/n). Everything is all right.” He informs you as you kept signing your apologies.

You raise your gaze to meet his, seeing he appears sincere, that he truly is not mad at you. You tentatively nod at him, trembling as fear slowly settles down away.

He looks at you intently, with his piercing red gaze that ties your stomach in knots. Your mouth stretches in a single thin line, awaiting your judgment.

“I will let you work in peace. Thank you for your help.” He courteously bows his head to you and leaves you alone to get a grip of yourself and calm down your anxiety.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Fancy finding someone here.” A deep melodious voice rose in the silence of the gallery.

Your breath got stuck in your throat. You who came hiding in the art gallery of the hotel to avoid guests, here’s one now! A man... You tried to calm down your heart.

It was one of your first official military parties as a Junior Lieutenant, and there was a lot of top hats here. A lot of ego and loud voices, unconsidering and detached from the common experience. You preferred to take refuge in the adjacent art gallery for peace and quiet.

You turned your head to observe the new visitor and gauge his intention. You discover a blue alien in an admiral regalia, a glass of champagne in his hand. You tilted your head in surprise, an alien officer of the Empire?

You never heard of such a thing...

Except for one person.

The blue alien approaches you, his gaze traveling to the immense canvas you were observing. His sharp cheekbones drew haughty features and the light accentuated the edges of his symmetrical face. His eyes are of a deep, burning red emitting a glow in the dim light.

You dug your nails in your arm and lowered your gaze as he placed himself next to you to better observe the canvas. He remains silent, looking into the details of the painting with a carefully fascinated expression.

“It is quite rare to encounter art enjoyers in those soirees, do you not think?” He addressed you again, “I did not expect someone else preferring the peace of the art gallery to the discussions and dances of the ballroom.”

You risk a glance at him. It must be him.

Admiral Thrawn.

“I am sorry if I disrupted your peace. I will leave you undisturbed to appreciate the paintings if you prefer.”He proposes before your resounding silence.

Honestly? Yes, you would prefer. You’re never really at peace alone with a man, but he is clearly an admiral and you are a simple Junior Lieutenant. If he ever catches your name and speaks of the fact that you refused to humor him, it could go bad for you.

[It is alright. You can stay, Admiral.] You type on your datapad.

His gaze lowers to your datapad with an interested gaze.

“Fascinating. Can it mimic inflections and emotions?” He asked.

You typed a random phrase and chose the laugh setting. The robotic voice exploded laughing, repeating your words, making the Admiral tilt his head, curious.

“Interesting. This is quite ingenious, is it used a lot in the impaired-speech community?”

You shake your head.

“Will you allow me a quick glance?” He asks softly.

You froze for a split second. This software is your buoy to communicate. Almost nobody knows sign language, especially in those settings. You held down your datapad before forcing yourself to lend it to him.

He is an Admiral and you...

He gently took it and started scrolling down the software, tampering with it. You gulp as he tested and observed your little software.

“It seems well built. How much time did it take you to code it” He turned back his head to you.

How did he know you coded it yourself? You frowned incredulously by reflex.

“You seem a talented coder, ma’am. I could use someone of your talents at my side.” He gives you back your datapad.

You feel your skin heating up. You’re not used to compliments.

[It is nothing too complicated really.]

“To you maybe, but for some other people coding is as nebulous as the never-ending universe. Did you code something else?”

You slowly nodded. You did know your way around coding and liked tampering with your electronic toys when you started to get really interested in it.

[I slightly improved the machinery of my father’s squad. Like canon sights, but nothing groundbreaking.]

“Really? What do you think of the current programming of tie fighters?”

What would he want to know your opinion on that? You’re a nobody.

[I would have done things differently.]

“I agree.” He nodded solemnly, “I am more of an amateur engineer than a coder but I have projects for a new kind of TIE fighter to propel the Navy’s fleet towards new heights. I am searching the galaxy for new talents to help me. If you allow me to test and judge your level would you be interested in participating in a military revolution?”

Was this man for real? You just entered your post a Senior Lieutenant and he jumps on you to propose you a new post?

[I just received my new affectation. I cannot just go against the Navy’s wishes and ask to change like that.]

“Of course. But if an admiral personally asks for your affectation to change, the Navy would probably oblige.”

You almost took a step back.

You know the reputation of this man. A genius in battle but a complete clown in politics, you heard he recently allied himself with the likes of Governor Price and rumors circulate that he invited a witch in his fleet?

He seemed quite the character and you had enough of those types of people in your life.

On the other hand, coding is your passion. Maybe a post dedicated to coding wan’t that bad?

|How would it go?]

“Simple. Your task would be to rewrite the pre-existing TIE code to sharpen it. You will have your own space on the ISD to test and modify the ships to your heart’s content. I will only ask you to follow my directives.

Your own space? Like... Away from other people? You being alone and free to give yourself fully to coding all day long? You being away from other’s peskiness and sharp-tongues?

That does sound enticing.

[I will think about it.]

“I thank you for considering my offer.” He extended his hand again, “I am Admiral Thrawn.”

You shook his hand after a hesitation, resisting the shudder coursing your body as your hands touched.

[Junior Lieutenant (Y/n) (F/n).] You typed.

He nodded a slight expression of satisfaction starting to paint on his face.

“I am pleased to have crossed your path tonight, Junior Lieutenant. I hope this is the beginning of a fruitful relationship.”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Will you come to my suite tonight, Junior Lieutenant (F/n)?” Thrawn asks.

He observes as you almost choke hearing that proposition. He knows this is quite forward of him. He doesn’t leave you guessing for long.

“I recently acquired new pieces for my private collection, and I recall you especially enjoying this period in art history. We could discuss those pieces peacefully together.”

Usually, your daily art talk happens in his office or around a cup of caff at the mess hall when he, rarely, descends to that room.

“I received a particular mirror that I think will especially flatter your taste, I am curious to know your opinion on it.” He pursues.

You nod with a small smile, visibly relieved and now interested before typing on your datapad.

[Of course Grand Admiral, I always enjoy talking art with you.]

“I am glad to hear it. I will not take too much of your time, do not worry.” He nods with a slightly satisfied expression.

As he awaits for you he tidies up his salon, displaying his latest acquisitions on pedestals. Those pieces are not for war but his personal enjoyment, and yours too he hopes. His heart clenches slightly at the thought of you joining him tonight.

He always had immense respect for your coding abilities. You spoke of it like it was nothing but he discovered you had a real talent for it, a natural jewel that he helped carve and sharpen since the first day he found it in you. He absolutely needed you on his team and congratulated himself when you announced to him you would join him in this adventure. And since that day your presence in the team only has been beneficial.

He never had to complain about you.

You worked diligently, for long hours and found the solution to most problems he threw at you. You even helped Vanto build a better Excel sheet software in your free time after you witnessed him losing his mind on the older version. Thrawn and Eli took the liberty to train their supply officers and data analysts with it and witnessed progress in productivity and speed by 20%.

And those 20% can be crucial during battles...

You received a reward of course! All people improving his ISD deserve a high reward for their deeds.

You are an invaluable member of Thrawn’s team, even of his close circle, even if he didn’t realize it right away and you never realized it ever.

But it is true.

He sees you as a true friend. You bring him so much in work and share his passion for art, something he is grateful for.

People never understood him on this level, and in some aspects, you don’t either. Your talents lie somewhere else than military strategizing, but your common passion allows him to stim off and share his special interest with someone actually interested.

Vanto could never, despite all his will, understand. As Thrawn never understood numbers like he did.

This is why he is also deeply happy to have you around. To share and receive in art. It allowed him to communicate better about his ideas and strategies.

When he thinks back that he almost decided not to come to that party... He only came because he learned the hotel had a small art gallery and he discovered a young lady in a fine dress, eyes glued to the painting in front of her.

He almost didn’t dare enter to disturb your moment. He understood the pleasure of being alone in a gallery to observe art on your terms. But the urge to share proved itself stronger and he entered the room.

He just wanted to speak about art with another aficionado and he left with a little genius coder in his team.

He saw how uncomfortable you were around him and didn't want to impose himself too much. Once you exchanged names and numbers he left you in peace. He didn’t get to enjoy the gallery himself but he came out better off after this exchange.

He welcomed you to his ISD three months later for the tests and you walked out victorious. You changed affectation and joined the Chimaera two weeks top after that.

He quickly picked up on your shy, or rather cautious nature around others, especially males and him. It was not his place to question you, all he could do was to remain polite, courteous, and professional to make things more comfortable for the both of you.

You saw each other at least one time a day for him to learn to sign and talk about art. You have quite an extensive knowledge about art and he was truly impressed. You taught him a lot about certain regions he didn’t have the time to visit and he learned a lot at your side, as you learned a lot at his side.

A truly beneficial relationship.

You slowly relaxed around him, getting less jumpy and stressed in his presence, to the point that sometimes you seemed to forget his presence when you focused on something. You never forgot any other male presence, always having an eye on them.

But not him.

Not anymore.

And that strangely delighted him. He doesn’t know why. He is just pleased by that fact, he takes some pride in it. He always prided himself in the fact to be safe for women to be around, when he thinks about all the things men do to women daily, he feels like being a decent person really shouldn’t be that hard and not such a high demand. He always appreciated the trust his female friends and colleagues had in him, and he just wanted you to feel the same.

For you to not see him as any kind of predator.

A tight smile comes stretch his mouth as he thinks back about the number of times he had to carry you to your cabin. How many times did he came to visit your office to witness your advancement to discover you sleeping on your desk after an obvious night crush? He took your precious datapad and carried you to your bed.

You never knew about that.

And he doesn’t really intend to tell you, as long as you rest that beautiful brain of yours to come back fresh the next day he can carry you to bed without a fuss.

He signals the droid to leave the champagne bottle in the ice bucket and on the coffee table. He remembers Ar’alani complaining about the lack of drinks when he brought her to the art gallery. You will not have to complain about that when admiring his personal museum.

He is strangely excited by that prospect, his heart beats strangely fast at the idea of letting you see his personal collection. He never shared it with anyone else, he feels like metaphorically stripping naked before you.

Overall he just hopes you will have a nice time.

With him.

He checks his display one last time. He gave the mirror he thinks you’ll love a special place, well visible and under a beautiful light.

[Grand Admiral Thrawn?] a mechanical voice he learned to love rises in his back.

He turns, his hand clasped behind his back, a small smile to welcome you.

“Ah! Senior Lieutenant, right on time as always. Please approach, I have several pieces for you to see.”

-------------------------------------------------------------------

You were a little bit nervous about the idea of joining Thrawn in his suite, but he promised it was about art so you came.

But until now he hasn’t been anything else but courteous and professional with you, never an inappropriate move or word, always respectful of our personal space and headspace.

You realized recently that you actually quite like him. He is quite a gentleman all things considered.

Nothing like your father...

Right now he stands next to you, at a respectable distance, to explain a statuette to you.

“It is a goddess of love and fertility of the Lokma region. A fine work isn’t it?”

You nod enthusiastically. It is indeed a very beautiful statuette, well-carved and polished.

You’re quite happy the Grand Admiral appreciates art as you do. You used to bury yourself in art books to escape your violent reality back home. Nobody liked art at home especially not your father. You had to hide all those books from his view or he would burn them before you.

But Grand Admiral Thrawn is a man of elegance and taste, enjoying art as a real connoisseur. His knowledge of the subject would put any encyclopedia to shame!

You reacted badly last time but you had time to rationalize that he simply tried to comfort you. You clearly overreacted. He had no bad intentions towards you, quite the contrary.

You look up to him, explaining the origin of the sculpture to you with a light smile floating on your lips.

-------------------------------------------------------

His heart is beating so fast. You are looking straight at him, smiling so genuinely. He could almost lose track of what he is saying if dared look into your eyes.

So he remains focused on the art piece, to not start stammering in front of you.

He doesn’t know how it happened but you both end up on the couch, drinking champagne and chit-chatting about everything and nothing. Right now you are trying to keep a straight face as he retells his political mishaps. It is no news to anybody that he is a clown in this department, but he never took the time to explain the finer details to someone and you have difficulties not exploding laughing.

Obviously, no sound escapes your lips but the simple expression, how you try to contain your stretching smile to grow too much, how your dimples appear on your skin, how you bite your lower lips to control yourself, how utterly relaxed you appear...

He details this spectacle, absolutely fascinated. He saw plenty of people laugh before but none appeared as... Radiant as you are right now. You are just so solar and magnetic with this elated expression.

For some reason, his throat goes dry when his gaze lends on your lips. They are plump and carefully drawn with a pencil of color in nude tones, adorning your mouth deliciously. He fights the urge to lick his own lips at that sight.

And your eyes...

Utterly gorgeous.

They can say everything your vocal cords cannot. They are just expressive, there is no second-guessing your mood or character, he just has to look into your sparkly eyes and unravel your entire being before him.

It is not that you are easy to guess, it is that your body is so completely honest with him, he doesn’t need to walk on eggshells like with the Emperor or any political figures, with you he can act and feel like himself.

Something that hasn’t happened since...

Forever.

In fact.

He always had to mask a part of himself to go his own way peacefully but he feels like he can open up to you.

That you wouldn’t judge.

That you would understand him, like Thrass did.

But he never looked at Thrass like that. He always was his brother but you are no Chiss. Is he looking at you as a sister...?

No... that doesn’t sound right to him.

Like a friend perhaps, like Ar’alani?

Neither...

He tilts his head as he watches you retelling him one of your stories with signs, a large smile on your beautiful face.

Because you do have a beautiful face, he realizes. Very symmetrical and... harmonious. It is a weird thought crossing his mind, he met plenty of objectively beautiful people in his life and he was able to tell that they were handsome but he never knew it in his gut. Just a passive acknowledgment of their well-made features.

But you are the first one striking him as truly gorgeous. His eyes seem to open up for the very first time and he is discovering true beauty.

What curious train of thoughts he has right now, observing you hiding your elated expression behind your hand.

He loves that expression, it suits you so much better than this worried, tense one you always were around your colleagues or that you had with him at first.

He had the occasion to witness different facets of your personality while learning sign language, but it feels like meeting the true you for the first time. You have so many things to say you don’t lose time typing it on your datapad, you just sign everything at lightspeed with enthusiasm.

Such a wonderful expression...

He wants to get lost in your eyes.

He wants you to smile more, to smile everyday.

His breath gets stuck in his throat as he realizes he wants to be the reason for your smile. Every day and forever.

Is he...?

He has to know!

He details your blissful expression while decoding your signing. He doesn’t get everything but he knows the important one. You are telling him that you love working on this project, that you feel useful and part of a real team thanks to him, and that he doesn’t reject you for being non-speaking but that he makes true efforts to involve and welcomes you.

“That is nothing, Senior Lieutenant.” A small grin grows on his lips, “You are too valuable for me to lose. I must make sure you are well cared for or you will leave me for greener lands.”

You bite your lips, lowering your gaze before the compliment. How adorable.

“Since you entered the project we made fantastic advancements. You wrote an almost perfect code and still keep working to improve it days and nights. We would not have gone so far without your input.”

Your face heat signals worsen, proof of your embarrassment. You sign ‘It is nothing’ without daring to look at him.

He leaves his slouching position to lean forward, closer to you, legs almost brushing.

“It is not ‘nothing’ as you pretend (Y/n). This is incredible work and you should be properly recognized and rewarded for that.” He ditch the ranks for a more warm approach.

You seem a little confused by the sudden use of your name so casually.

“Does it displease you?” He asks.

‘What?’ you sign, dubious.

“Me, using your name. I quite like it, you wear it perfectly.”

You smile, embarrassed.

“I am not joking. It has a wonderful sound to it, it suits you wonderfully.”

You push a strand of hair behind your ear to try to put up a front, but your heat signals are all over the place. You are very obviously melting.

On his hand, he realizes he enjoys complimenting you. It feels right to do it. For absolutely nothing too. For you just being here, for your hair style that enhances your natural charm, this absolutely adorable behavior, the list is infinite!

For you to keep that endearing look too.

He gently raises his hand towards you, slowly for you to see it and stop him if needs be. You look at him with round eyes and freeze entirely. He incredibly gently brushes your cheek with his knuckle.

A very soft, very light touch. He’s just testing the water, where you will put your boundaries.

You seem to release your breath when you realize he didn’t intend to hit you.

Why would you ever think that? He wonders.

What happened to you to always live in a fight or flight mode? He is dying to know, but that would be improper to pry. If you want him to know, you will reveal it in due time.

You blink several times as he resumes his gentle caress, like you don’t know how to react to tenderness. He couldn’t know either, to be honest. He just felt like giving you physical affection was the right call.

You are so pretty after all tonight, he needs to physically convey the tenderness he harbors towards you. Or he feels like he is going to implose or spontaneously combust.

"You are beautiful, (Y/n).” He simply lets you know his truth in a whisper.

You turn your head to avoid his gaze like it is too much. Your face heat signals are the worst they ever have been he notices.

“Are you uncomfortable?” He asks softly, “Would you prefer if I stopped?”

You go to type something on your datapad but stop mid-movement before putting it on the coffee table and spin away from him. He listens carefully. No sobs can be heard, to his relief.

“I am sorry if I was too forward, (Y/n).” He presents his excuses, “But I find myself in a weird head space tonight.”

You slightly turn your head towards him. Not enough for him to see your face, just enough to signify that you are listening.

He gently caresses your arm, avoiding pressing himself against you to leave you your space.

“(Y/n), I will not try anything you will not allow me to. I just want you to look at me.”

You shake your head, pressing your knees against your chest, boots on the expensive sofa.

“(Y/n), please do not deprive me of your sight.” He breathes, getting slightly desperate as you disposess him of your beautiful gaze “I am confused and need to know. Only you can help me. Look at me, my friend.”

This is the first time he calls you friend out loud and it doesn't feel stong enough for his feelings.

Is he really...?

“I need your help. Just this time, will you allow it?” He asks. “Let me look at you.”

His hand gently grasps your chin to invite you to turn to him, he does it softly, if you truly don't want it he will let you escape no question asked.

But you do turn towards him, eyes wet and glistening but without tears rolling down your cheeks. He releases your chin to gently cup your cheek, caressing it with his thumb.

“You are beauty incarnated.” He murmurs like he cannot believe you are in front of him, “I need only one thing and I will let you in peace. Will you allow me?”

He lets your hands free for you to sign but you just gulp and tentatively nod. You are clearly unsure but are ready to let him try whatever he has in mind?

But he doesn’t want to force you, your consent is the most important thing to him at this instant.

“I am about to kiss you. Will you allow it?” He looks straight into your soul through your eyes.

Your breath gets visibly stuck in your throat and your eyes get rounder. He keeps caressing your cheek gently, ready to face your rejection.

But you remain mute, not signing, nor shaking your head to escape him. You just look at him like you cannot believe you heard him right.

“I need your consent to continue.” He insists.

Your throat contracts as you dig your nails into the fabric of your pants.

Finally, you sign something.

‘Why?’

He cannot help a light chuckle escaping him. Is it that hard to imagine?

“I want to make sure if I am in love or not.” He very clearly explains, no sugarcoating it.

You appear even more lost.

‘Why?’

“Why would I be in love with you?” He tilts his head like your question didn’t make any sense, “You have plenty of qualities and virtues, why would you not be loved by others? Why would I not love you?”

Your face in no more but a deeply red spot in his infrared vision.

“What about you, (Y/n)? What are your sentiments? Do you feel something or am I alone in the storm?”

You try to sign something but your hands tremble so much your signs are unrecognizable.

He gently kisses your forehead before looking back into your gorgeous eyes.

“I only ask for one kiss to settle everything once and for all. Do I have your permission?”

You gulp before weakly nodding. You appear so tense, are you that estranged to tenderness? That pains him immensely, whatever comes out of that kiss he wants you comfortable and feeling safe at his side.

He slowly leans forward, leaving you time to dodge if you change your mind. You close your eyes shut like you can’t face him right this instant but let him do. He gently closes the gap and softly kisses your lips.

This is soft and light.

But he feels a firework lighting in his chest, his heart beating at lightspeed, pumping his blood like a machine. He feels his very soul rejoice and sing blissed verses. This chast kiss sends fire to his very being.

Not a lustful fire but a warm, comforting fire, like everything was clicking into place at last. Like he just found his other-half that he searched for so long.

And he is so euphoric that it is you.

He releases your lips, feeling your short breath on his lips. He opens his bright red eyes to discover you, eyes still closed but with a serene expression. You reopen your eyes slowly like you’re going down from a high.

You gasp, stupefied.

He awaits your judgment with anticipation and a touch of fear, but nothing pierces through his carefully crafted mask.

You raise your hand and sign.

‘Again please?’

He cannot help but smile, he will kiss again and again until you are sure of yourself! He captures your lips back in a more demanding kiss, holding the back of your head to press it against his craving lips. He sighs of pure satisfaction in the kiss, if it is what happiness feels like he would have it every day, please!

He suddenly feels your own hand gently cupping his cheek, caressing his ear delicately. He smiles through the kiss and starts purring loudly.

When you part again you are both panting. He takes one of your hands and kisses your knuckles reverently.

“I thank you for this enlightening experience, (Y/n). I now have my response.”

You look at him curiously, blood flowing furiously in your cheeks.

“I am certain now, this is love.” He confesses, “My heart is beating for you, (Y/n).”

You gulp again, but your hand keeps cupping his cheek, tenderly touching him.

“I must know your response, (Y/n). What is your truth?”

You retract your hand to start signing something but stop mid-movement of the first sign. He instantly picks up your discomfort.

“I do not intend to force you into anything. If you wish for nothing to change between us, I will not impose myself on you. The choice is yours only.”

You shyly nod and resume your signing.

‘I am embarrassed.’

“Do not be. You may speak freely, (Y/n). Whatever your response is, I am ready to receive and honor it.” He asserts, encouraging you to open up.

‘I never felt like this’

“Me neither, this is all new.”

‘What if I am wrong?’

“You can always come back on your decision. If you wish to leave me later I will set you free, if you wish to come back into my arms I will welcome you.”

He is on the verge of implosion. Doubt and excitation are consuming him, what is flying through your mind right now? Will you accept or reject him? He is dying to know!

You take a deep breath and sign.

‘I love you’

His heart skips several beats before sprinting up at a worrying speed.

You love him back! What a relief.

“Sign it again please.” He demands

You fidget your fingers, embarrassed.

“Please, Ch’acah. I want to see you tell me again.”

You sign it again with trembling hands.

He seizes them and kisses them like holy relics.

“Thank you, (Y/n). You do not know how important it is for me. What do you want now?”

‘What do you mean?’ You gingerly sign.

“May we become a couple? Do you wish to try and explore this relationship? The choice is yours, what you want I will give.”

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