#mishka made choices

[lykegenia]

So something has been bugging me for a while now about A and N’s backstories, and while I know not everyone will be as pedantic as me, as someone who loves history and has done a lot of writing, I feel that if you’re going to write a story about vampires and give them a specific time and date of origin, then there should be a certain level of research that goes into making that background authentic. I'm not saying that Mishka didn’t do any research. It just seems that in order to keep the vibe of a happy, mellow fantasy some of the less savoury aspects of A and N’s upbringings have been left out, and it's a shame. To be honest, it feels a bit disingenuous, and it feels like an opportunity got wasted.

Let me explain (long post got long, it's 2am)

Let's take A first, since the problem is simpler here.

A is the child of a Norman lord and an Anglo-Saxon noblewoman, born in the first generation after the Norman Conquest of England in 1066. A says that these were turbulent times but that their parents had a happy marriage. Which. While I’m sure a lot of unions in that time period made the best of it, I can’t help but feel this description strips away a lot of the context of what was going on at that point in history - and removes some of the complexity about A’s thoughts on love and relationships.

Basically, after he took control of the throne, William the Conqueror stripped many Anglo-Saxon lords of their lands and titles so he could give them to his Norman buddies instead - with the added bonus that it left the Anglo-Saxons without the means to raise armies against him. The sisters, daughters, and widows of the dispossessed Anglo-Saxons were then forced to marry these new Norman lords to legitimise their power, not infrequently after all of their male relatives had been slaughtered. It’s not as if Anglo-Saxon women weren’t used to being used as political chess pieces, but the years after the conquest were brutal. It’s why William had to build so many castles. The point that I’m trying to make is that even if A’s mother was content enough in her daily life, due to the power imbalance between her and her husband, it's very likely she had little choice in the matter. She may have seen a lot of her family killed for political reasons, with the knowledge that – in an age where women had very little protection outside of their paternal household – she might be next if she made too much of a fuss.

It would be fascinating to see what effect that tension has had on A 900 years later, or even to get an acknowledgement of how much times have changed, but we don’t. We don't see how their early years affected them, how they view relationships formed naturally instead of via political contracts. And I really, really wish we did. There is so much potential there.

But A is not the one keeping me up past 2 in the morning. It’s N, and the utter detachment their backstory seems to have from the period in history they lived in as a human. And it all stems from the fact that they came from the English nobility in the late 1600s.

See, the bulk of the problem is that English inheritance law at the time heavily favoured primogeniture, where a man’s wealth would go to his first-born son. Some dispensation was made for widows and other children, but the estates, assets, and most of the money had a very clear destination.

For one thing, this makes it kinda weird that N’s stepfather would have needed an heir before he could inherit, because except in extreme circumstances everything would have gone to him anyway. Don't get me wrong, this isn't the worst part of the problem, it’s just annoying when there are more plausible reasons for him marrying a woman already pregnant with another man’s child (old family friend wanting to save her from disgrace, needed the dowry to pay off gambling debts, there was a longstanding betrothal between them that would have been tricky to get out of, etc.).

No, the bigger problem with N’s backstory vs primogeniture is firstly that at the time the English aristocracy was racist af (still is tbh) and given his pretty obvious mixed-race heritage, no court would have agreed that Nate was a legitimate son (this is for a very special reason that we will be coming back to). I say Nate specifically here because primogeniture requires the eldest legitimate son. Nat wouldn’t have inherited at all, as women in that period passed from the guardianship of their father (or other male blood relative) into that of their husband after marriage, and only gained any kind of independence with widowhood. If N had been an only child, maybe they would have been treated as a special case, but unfortunately Milton exists: the eldest legitimate son who by law will inherit everything.

Now here’s the thing. Your average aristocrat in the 17th century is very obsessed with lineage and keeping the family line unbroken. He would not, therefore, send his legitimate heir to sea to be shot at or drowned before he can carry on the family name – that joy instead goes to any other sons who need their own profession, because again, they will get very little. Nat would have had a dowry, but would never have been expected to make her own living, so I'm going to focuson Nate for this next bit.

In Book 3, if you unlock his tragic backstory Nate tells you he joined the Royal Navy after Milton went missing so that he could go look for him. And, well. This is where his backstory as Mishka tells it completely falls apart. For two reasons:

1. Even in the modern day, you can’t ‘just’ join the Navy, and you certainly can’t just jump straight to being a lieutenant – it takes years of training and after a certain age they won’t take you because they won’t be able to mould you easily enough into a useful tool. For most of the Navy's history, the process was even more involved. It wasn’t an office job you could just rock up to and then quit if you felt like it, it was a lifetime commitment. Boys destined to be officers would be sent to sea as early as 12 to learn shipboard life, starting at the bottom and moving up the ranks. These were gained by passing exams and by purchasing a commission – which is why you generally had to come from wealth to be an officer at all. Once you get to lieutenant you're responsible for a lot of people, and might be tasked with commanding any captured ships alongside the daily running of yours - it was not an easy job.

2. Even as a lieutenant (one rank below Captain, with varying levels of seniority) it’s not like you can just go where you want. In the 1720s British colonies already existed in India, the Caribbean, and up the entire eastern seaboard of North America and into Canada, and the Navy was tasked with protecting merchant shipping along these seaways (and one trade in particular that we’ll be getting to, don’t worry). Nate could have ended up practically anywhere in the burgeoning empire. He would not have been able to choose whom he served under, and would not have been able to demand his superior officer go against orders from the admirality to chase down one lone vessel because he thinks another one of the admirals might be a bit dodgy. It could not have happened.

Besides these impracticalities, there’s a far easier way for the child of a wealthy man to get to a specific point on the far side of the globe to look for their lost sibling, which is the route I assume Nat took sine she couldn’t have joined the Navy (yes she could have snuck in but she’s specifically in a dress in the B2 mirror scene so). All they'd have to do would be to charter a ship and tell the captain where to go, which is the plot of Treasure Island. It's quicker, less fuss, with less chance of things going wrong. It's even possible in the age of mercantilism that the Sewells had some merchant vessels among their holdings that could be diverted for the task. Why go through the hassle of joining the Navy and potentially ending up on the wrong side of the world when you can just hire a ship directly?

If Nate does have to be in the Navy (and let’s face it, it’s worth it just for the uniform) then it's far more plausible is that, as the illegitimate son who would not inherit because of racism etc, he got sent to the Navy as a boy and rose through the ranks to become a lieutenant. When he got news of Milton’s disappearance not far from where he was stationed, he begged his captain to go investigate in case whatever happened turned out to be the symptom of a bigger problem. Like pirates.

I like this version better not just because it makes more sense, or because it keeps Nate’s situation re: inheritance closer to Nat’s and therefore makes their stories more equal, but also because it adds a delicious amount of guilt to Nate’s need to find his brother. We know his entire crew died looking for answers, because he was selfish – that’s roughly 100-400 lives lost because of him, and we know that sort of thing eats at him.

So that's one side of the story, but if Milton wasn’t in the Navy, what was he doing on the other side of the Atlantic in the first place? Well, this is where we come to the biggest elephant in the room regarding N’s backstory as a member of the 17th century English aristocracy and potentially as a naval officer: the Atlantic Slave Trade. If you are wealthy in 17th century Britain it's more than likely that your wealth comes either from the trade itself, or from the products made with the labour of enslaved people. If you are wealthy, you want to protect your assets from attack by pirates or foreign powers so you don't become less wealthy, and that is what the Navy is for.

Regardless of N’s own views on slavery at the time – and any subsequent changes in opinion – it’s likely their family owned or had shares in slave plantations in the Americas. As distasteful as it is, it makes far more sense that Milton was on a trip to check the family’s holdings when his ship - specifically a merchant vessel - went missing. From a pirate perspective, a merchant ship would make a much better target than a Navy vessel, being slower, more likely to have valuable cargo, and less likely to have marines or a well-trained broadside.

It's not surprising that Mishka left out the subject of the slave trade given her tendency to skirt around darker subjects and general blindspot for racial politics, but it is nuance that, if it was there, would create a more grounded and coherent backstory for N that doesn’t have quite so many holes. Like with A being the child of an invader and his war bride, we could get some deeper thoughts from N about their place in the world - How do they feel to have grown up so privileged when others who looked like them were regarded as literal property? How did they feel being part of the system that made it happen? Did it inform their compassionate nature? Is it still a source of guilt or someithng they've tried to make up for?

I'm not sure where I was going with all of this. It's late, my sleep pattern is fucked. The tl;dr is that giving the vampires' backstories historical context would make them feel more multifaceted and would give opportunities for character growth that are instead missed because of a desire for a more sanitized version of the past.

#thank you for coming to my ted talk #the wayhaven chronicles #twc #a du mortain #adam du mortain #ava du mortain #n sewell #nate sewell #nat sewell #it's annoying because it’s such a small tweak in the grand scheme of things #If she didn’t want unfortunate implications she could have made N from a century later when the navy was actively trying to stop slavery #A could have been from a 50 years earlier to tie his whole family’s demise into the subjugation of the english after the battle of hastings #or a century later when the two courts had mostly integrated #mishka made choices #they deserve to be given more substance than mere aesthetics #you can tell it’s late I’m using long words

[carriehobbs]

I keep thinking about @/fauville’s tags (“#literally no one else calls the detective by a nickname #not their mom. not tina or verda”) on this post and how it's just another example of the way that the constraints of interactive fiction as a storytelling medium (e.g., limitations in what the writer knows how to code, inability to account for all players' (and player characters') reactions to the text, nuanced conversations reduced in-game to multiple choice answers, etc.) inadvertently provide characterization for the game's characters.

to use @/fauville's example of the detective's nickname: tina and verda should, at the very least, know that the detective has a nickname and should use it; however, they use the detective's first name instead. this is speculation (i don't know if mishka has ever gone on-record to say why nicknames were not a part of book 1), but I suspect, from a writing standpoint, that this decision was made because nicknames hadn't been included in book 1 (perhaps because mishka didn't yet know how to code nicknames in choicescript, or because she hadn't anticipated players wanting a feature like optional nicknames) and it would have seemed jarring for someone who has always called the detective by their first name to suddenly start using a nickname midway through book 2. unit bravo can get away with this change because they hadn't known about the nickname previously (doesn't know about the nickname -> learns about the nickname -> uses the nickname) in a way that tina and verda, who have known the detective for years, cannot (doesn't know about the nickname -> learns about the nickname -> doesn't use the nickname for years -> suddenly starts using the nickname with no explanation ??).

just because we, as players, can acknowledge and understand the external factors that influence a game's production (e.g., not knowing how to code a particular feature at the start of the series and later learning how to implement that feature, if this is indeed the case), doesn't mean that I think we should ignore the implications these gameplay (and game-making) decisions have for the coherence of the story and character. perhaps tina and verda's use of the detective's first name was motivated by external factors, but it still says something about the characters that they do so (perhaps it lends to the way that verda can sometimes seem more formal or put-together, or speaks to a past between tina and the detective before the detective started using a nickname, etc.).

even more interesting (to me, at least) are the implications that rebecca choosing to use the detective's full name has for rebecca's character and her relationship with the detective. rebecca will call the detective by their first name regardless of both their past relationship and their current relationship. in a low-approval playthrough, it is pretty easy to come up with reasons that rebecca might not call the detective by a nickname. perhaps she doesn't feel like she's close enough to the detective to use a nickname. perhaps she and the detective are so distant that she doesn't even know the detective would prefer to be called a nickname in the first place.

furthermore, what does it say about rebecca that she still won't use the detective's nickname even if they are close? we've seen through the series that, even on a high-approval playthrough, rebecca seems to feel a lot of guilt for not being around through the detective's childhood (regardless of how that guilt actually informed her actions) - is her refusal to use a nickname she should know about some kind of self-flagellation wherein she doesn't feel as though she deserves to be close to the detective and so she creates an artificial distance between them through the use of their full name? what motivation does rebecca have for not using the detective's nickname, and what does it say about her that she doesn't?

I just find it endlessly fascinating the ways in which the constraints of the medium can unintentionally provide characterization for the game's characters. I don't think that we, as players, should write off these moments of characterization just because they were the results of a constraint. regardless of whatever external factors influence the game's production, why, in-fiction, does a character do a certain thing, and what does that action or decision impact how we understand them?

#wayhaven if #sorry for saying the word nickname so much 😔 #edit: to be clear i don't think that anyone does write stuff off bc it's externally-motivated. this isn't about anyone in particular #i just think generally that we shouldn't #another edit: corrected a small typo

[queerbrujas]

okay i'm in a mood so we're gonna talk about my thoughts on the N route in twc book 3. they're not good so look away if you don't wanna read that etc etc

so i'd known for a while that i was going to have to bring in an oc that wasn't eva for this route because in the meantime i'd developed her enough and thought about her enough that she just didn't fit the route anymore anywhere other than in my head. i still tried it with her and i didn't like it one bit, but i thought hey, my own problem.

so i made a new detective.

let me tell you about tatiana.

tatiana is the definition of a uhaul lesbian. she's head over heels in love with nat, absolutely crazy for her, totally willing to gloss over any sort of conflict. exactly the kind of narrative the story wants you to go for (and we'll come back to this).

things that happened in tatiana's playthrough:

she confessed her love to nat only to get absolutely NO response, an attempt to initiate sex, and no commentary whatsoever in the narration on how nat didn't say anything back. like, i'm very sorry to mishka who seems to think that initiating sex is a satisfactory answer to that kind of thing and the Ultimate expression of love but i think a normal and expected reaction to this would be 'wait they didn't say it back'. i am NOT trying to say that N needed to say it back at that moment, before anyone comes for me, there are a million reasons why they wouldn't (i even had a theory that they'd freak out if they heard it!!!) but the fact that the narration absolutely does not acknowledge that fact is so excuse me what the fuck. i've been so pissed at this that i've been working on a fic purely out of hatred for that choice.

let's talk about the sex scenes. they're bad. i'm sorry, they're bad. not only in execution (who cares) but you are not going to tell me that what is essentially a quickie is Enough for a character who has been built up as an over-the-top romantic when it's supposed to be their first time having sex with their partner. i won't buy it. it's like mishka spent these past three years marinading in the asks about agent suavewell and how smooth and sexy and horny they are and when it was time to write the book that was all she wanted to write.

it all just feels so shallow. where is the romance, for fuck's sake. it all feels unearned. beat after beat after beat with nothing to make me care about it.

and, once again—this is playing the ideal version of this route. the 'head over heels' version of this route. i don't even want to touch the other variants that continue to exist despite it being increasingly clear they are Not how the story is meant to go. i'm absolutely someone who supports authors doing whatever the fuck they want with their stories, the fact that there's a playable MC doesn't mean the player gets to dictate every single aspect of their arc or personality, but don't offer the option of things if you're not gonna commit to it. don't tell me i can be hesitant about a relationship when the narrative is gonna fall apart if i decide to do that etc etc.

IDK MAN. i'm very very happy for anyone who enjoyed this route, love that for you, but also, what the fuck.

#twc critical #twc book 3 #silv.txt #i am Ranting with a capital R so scroll on if that's not what you wanna read

[twc-thoughts-you-didnt-ask-for]

This is going to be a long massage and my English isn't so good, so pardon me.

First I gotta say I just saw and followed your blog tonight (but somehow managed to read your posts for the last 3 months I think) It's amazing how you know UB members so well like you're the writer, I can't even imagine myself there one day. I liked your posts (especially the one you said about M being totally perceptive towards the Detective. You know, the one Mishka said M wouldn't notice if the Detective didn't talk to M due to an argument, I totally agree with you there.)

So, to the question (I hope it isn't too cliché): How do you think UB would react if the Detective sacrifices themselves to save LI from mortal danger?

(Bonus: The danger being the Annunaki, and the Detective somehow takes down his protective barrier permanently, then dies smiling)

I’m so glad you like the blog and my answers! I do my absolute best to do these characters justice with all the comfort they’ve given me. You don’t want to go down the rabbit hole I have though to get here it’s a long, sad, hyperfixated journey lol

It’s no secret that thinking about the detective dying and UB’s reaction to that is my favorite flavor of ice cream so I may have answered this before but….

I think A would be able to go back to some kind of normalcy. Obviously they’re destroyed and traumatized by losing the detective, that was their soulmate, but A has lived a certain way for so long that I think they would go back to it. I see A keeping the detective’s memory like a little secret just for them and I don’t think they would ever want to talk about them on anyone else’s terms. I think A would only talk about the detective late and when the mood was right and maybe only with N. As for in the moment, it kind of depends on if they get one last moment with the detective before they take their last breath. I can only see A reacting with anger that the detective would do that and that anger wouldn’t even be all targeted at the detective but also A themselves for not doing enough of being enough to make it so the detective would never have to make that choice. Probably say things or phrase thing in a way they regret but don’t worry they’ll accidentally break something (other than their own heart) thinking about it later.

N is probably the one that hurts the most to think about and I feel like it’s heavily implied that the scenario of the detective sacrificing themselves period, let alone for N, actually destroys N as we know them so it’s so hard to say who they would be after. For some reason I’m getting the vibes that N turns into someone that a stranger can look at them and be like “That is a haunted man/woman” right away and I also for some reason see N starting to maladaptive daydream. I could see them thinking daydreaming about moments that will never come or seeing like the ghost of a memory whenever they pass by a bakery or something. Probably a lot of nudging and support from UB to keep them moving. In the moment, N would probably react to the detective’s sacrifice with denial. They didn’t just do that, that didn’t just happen, their breath and heart isn’t slowing, it just can’t be happening. If N gets to say anything to the detective before they go I think it would be panicked lies that N absolutely has themself believing that they’ll be just fine and to not fall asleep. Pretty promises are made to take them away from all this, leave it all behind, and take them somewhere where nothing can hurt them again if they just don’t close their eyes.

I feel like F would cope the best which isn’t saying a lot but I think they would. I also feel like they would honor the detective’s memory the best. I think whenever F would see things that reminded them of the detective they would have a sense of warmth and nostalgia rather than dread and would take any and every opportunity to talk about the detective to whomever would listen. Like people would be shocked to hear that the person F raves about is long gone because they would sound just as in love as they did before they lost the detective (please note this is also how I think N would be in the scenario that the detective died of old age, not by sacrificing themselves). F would probably have this feeling the the detective is always with them and some days are easier than others dealing with the fact they’re not. F can look back at memories and smile more than they’ll cry. The detective’s memory is one F tells sweetly and often. In the moment, I think F would also react to the detective’s sacrifice with denial. F has unwavering faith in the detective and sees them as so capable that it’s probably hard to fathom. I don’t know how much F would be able to say, choked by grief. F wants nothing more than someone to choose them, they just wish it would stop being like this.

M is also an owie because they lose more than their soulmate they also lose their personal little slice of peace. I think M won’t be much different to outsiders other than M remaining faithful to the detective (I don’t know if Sera has confirmed that but I’m 100% sure that’s what would happen) and continuing to not have one night stands or any physical relationships like they used to. Life would more or less be like it was before the detective and I think like A they wouldn’t want to talk about the detective to anyone (also like A, I think M would only let N try to). I think M would look at the stars even more trying to find the detective in them, maybe pause every time they see a hot chocolate or a carnival. The memories of the detective would burn but they would never let them go. If the detective is buried, I imagine they would always say this is the last time they’ll visit the gravesite so they can look at the stars with the detective one last time but it’s one of many “last time”s that they never follow through on. I think in the moment M reacts with anger and will tell the detective what they did was stupid. Ask them how could they. M is more put together than anyone else in these situations so I think they’re rapid fire trying to think of a solution. If the detective had expressed a desire to become a vampire I think desperation would make M (literally) bite to at least try even after they know the detective’s heart stopped.

A/N: traumatized

F: honored (in a way)

M: Angry/overwhelmed

A/N/M/F: trapped in an eternity of grief :)

#me: these are my comfort characters / also me: so anyways I want them to suffer and suffer bad #the wayhaven chronicles #wayhaven chronicles #twc #twc detective #adam du mortain #ava du mortain #nate sewell #nat sewell #felix hauville #farah hauville #twc mason #twc morgan #twc adam #twc ava #twc nate #twc nat #twc felix #twc farah

[thee-morrigan]

now that I've had a couple of days to go through SEVERAL stages of mental illness about book 3, I have…Some Thoughts. about the book in general and specifically about N's route, as so far that's the only one in which I've gone through most (if not all) of the interaction variations (yes, I have approximately 83253 tabs open rn. I told y'all I'm being very unwell about this). I've played through M's route several times so far too, but there were fewer standout "wait, what?" moments for me in that route tbh 🥴

below the cut: the peer review nobody asked for! (and my sincerest apologies lmao)

I really need Mishka to hire professional copy editors for these books, y'all. There are grammar/syntax errors that just. shouldn't be there. (and I don't even mean the nitpicky ones that I'm super anal about! I mean ones like using 'stationary' when you mean 'stationery'.)

somewhat related to the above bullet, I hope the testing period for book 4 is a lot longer than it was for book 3. there are some inconsistencies in the narrative that I suspect would have been caught if there'd been more time between the beta testing and the book being sent to HG.

for example, if you trigger the sex scene options in N's combat route, there is at least one errant reference to the feel of denim when like. you're both in workout clothes (and there is significant time spent describing both N's and the MC's outfits!). ALSO, when you go back inside for the debriefing with UB, F & M tease N about their jeans being unzipped when, again: there were no jeans or zippers involved. It's a funny scene after the equivalent research options, but it makes no sense post-combat ones without editing for attire differences.

while I'm thinking about the research scene on N's route, the fact that the MC can confess their love and N flat out says NOTHING in response??? just immediately jumps to gettin' busy despite the MC explicitly asking them to say something in response??? what will probably be Holland's canon route is fine, because the combat path has a "scared by own feelings" choice and you know homegirl immediately tried to yeet herself out of that potential conversation bc they've been dating for all of 30 seconds at this point. BUT knowing that that path was fine bc it happened to fit my OC honestly just made me more annoyed for anyone playing with a different/more emotionally mature/open detective. because going through the "i love you" options in the research scene especially were disappointing.

again, related to the above, the narrative inconsistencies (and the bulky plot) made the pacing often feel inconsistent. there were so many moving pieces and story beats that a lot of scenes felt either rushed (without seeming like that pace was tonally/narratively appropriate) or unnecessarily truncated. I also felt like there were a lot of points of abrupt info-dumping that was clearly meant to give background info on UB/other characters/plotpoints but ended up feeling inorganic/unnatural in terms of actual relationship-building. or, alternatively, like it was meant to build to a resolution point later in the book that just never happened.

for example: the whole post-Unit Victor scene where your LI shares some of their past with you. It didn't feel quite as abrupt/odd in my M route playthroughs, but the flow was JARRING for me in N's. And the abrupt end to that scene is never revisited. like, I understand the conversation maybe not coming up again, but for neither of them to even linger on what were presumably heavy emotional topics or think about it again at what could have been relevant points throughout the book seemed to dilute what I assume was meant to be an important scene.

speaking of things that are basically not revisited when they really should be, if N's overprotectiveness is going to continue to be a defining trait and the MC can continue to be explicitly bothered by it, I am begging for book 4 to let them have an uninterrupted, private conversation about it - particularly after the whole "I don't know how this is going to work" scene after the auction. because if this is how it already is and there are 4 more books, their relationship is going to be so (much more) unhealthy.

a more positive note! I did think it was ~interesting to see the juxtaposition of N's constant over-the-top "romantic gestures/sentiments" schtick against the responses you can get when you invite them to dinner but choose either the "you don't have to go if you would be uncomfortable" or "I'll call it off if you're not feeling it" option. with the former, N's response is that relationships are doing things for the other person/doing things they want to do, and they seem genuinely baffled when the detective immediately disagrees. with the latter, they seem equally surprised at the detective's willingness to ditch dinner for them. it's a brief thing, but both of their potential responses give the impression that N's perception of those statements is disproportionate to their actual significance. I mean. it's a dinner party that the detective almost forgot about entirely. clearly they don't give a shit about rescheduling/going alone. moreover, towards the end of the book, N explicitly worries about not "being enough" for the MC. for whatever reason, N clearly seems to think they're like, constantly on the verge of losing the detective in a different way than they worry about losing them to the neverending string of external threats, and I do hope it's meant to be the foreshadowing I think it is.

#despite its flaws i am enjoying it overall! #but especially after having speedrun books 1 and 2 for updated saves on other routes the difference in book quality is noticeable #there's just so much potential and i worry about the future character development if adequate space isn't given for some of these things #anyway tl;dr i'm probs just gonna write nate/holland some fix-it fics and call it a day lmao #katie plays twc #twc book 3 #twc book 3 spoilers

[insurrection-if]

The scream I let out when I read that we COULD have a poly with Fyodor and Misha ≥∆≤

Still hoping for a full romance with Bones tho JUST LET ME MARRY YOU YOU IDIOT 💗💗💗 AFFECTION ATTACK💗💞💕💓💗💓💕💞

Aha, a Fyodor and Mishka “poly” isn’t exactly a, uh, ‘happy’ arrangement. (´・ω・｀) It’s more so a peace treaty than anything else.

Really, it's all . . . messy. So messy. (●´ω｀●)

It would work itself out in time. Somewhat, yes. Sort of. Mockingbird can’t quite have their cake and eat it too.

There'll be consequences. Fyodor is monogamous, Mishka is a 'doomed' romance . . . the poly does not write off these factors. It's all gasoline to the fire. (˵ •̀ ᴗ - ˵ ) ✧ Yes, the bond between Fyodor and Mishka is more than that of friends or kin, more than that of those bound by choice or blood. They are distinct beings, but their hearts and minds are as interwoven as their fate. The poly won't break that emotional bond, almost nothing could hope to break that bond at this point, but it'll create some scars that weren't there before.

More than that, the fate that awaits them both at the end of their road will be made all the more bitter and sweet if the poly comes to pass. Far more painful too, and it's a pain that'll have a much stronger echo in the years to come.

Goodness, it’s so much angst. ゞ◎Д◎ヾ

To sum up the poly, essentially, in the eyes of Fyodor and Mishka (for their own respective reasons):

Oh goodness, and a full romance with Bones . . . Well, I'm happy to know that you're fond of him enough to wish for one! ✧⁺⸜(●′▾‵●)⸝⁺✧ Please do give that poor man an affection attack—though you might just resurrect his heart enough to give him a heart attack instead, haha!

Aha, and now I keep can’t stop imaging Bones at his own wedding. (ㅅ´ ˘ `)♡ That, and Bones rather liking being (affectionately) called an idiot by Mockingbird, haha!

His romance would have been so smooth if Mockingbird were a CARDINAL. Awkward, yes. Stumbling too, somewhat, since Elov isn’t quite the natural romantic. Angst-ridden still? Of course, because what is Bones without his angst, haha! But, in another world, it would have been an easily feasible romance, nonetheless.

If you wish to blame someone for Mockingbird’s lack of a CARDINAL status—and, thus, impossibility of a full romance with the minor ROs—other than myself as the author (haha!) then blame Uncle Fletcher. ( ´ 艸｀)

Thanks for this message; your excitement and passion are super infectious! (　´∀｀)b

#c: fyodor #c: mishka #c: bones

[ostagars]

my thoughts on twc book 3

spoilers ahead! feel free to drop ur own opinions on things in my ask

anyways let’s get into it. this will be long-ish

so i will just say that book 3, much like the previous books, does read like a young adult fantasy book. which does kind of makes sense given mishka has said in the past that twc was going to be a book at first, iirc. also the amount of GRRRR GROWLING these vampires do........ like all the time

the blood drive... why was it included. i don't understand because it turned out to be such a Non-Problem. which it was never a problem to begin with, seeing as there are 2384923 legitimately normal reasons the detective could've come up with to Not participate in the drive. i genuinely would've loved for the auction to have lasted Wayyy longer and to have been wayyy more nerve-wracking than it actually was.

i do feel like the slow burn of M and A's routes have been...... Not as slow as i expected? while i did actually enjoy both of those routes, particularly M's, A's in particular felt... a bit ooc at times? in my opinion, the outward denial of A's feelings should've lasted longer, at least until book 4 or 5. especially since it's still only been, what, a few months since they all met? some of these vampires have lived for centuries. they wouldn't just Give up on repressing the feelings and admitting them after less than a year of knowing the detective?? especially when there's 7 books in total planned. there's still plenty of time

i feel like a love confession with F would've made more sense than with N. i really wish we were given the option with F, and not with N. i also have a lot of grievances with N's route in this book, particularly because they can admit their feelings to the detective while still omitting the part of themself they apparently don't want us to Ever Know. i understand the fear N has. it's just like...........,,,, how can N love the detective ALREADY when they can't even be completely honest with them about their past yet? in my opinion, it'd make more sense for a love confession to come after N telling the detective everything.

in terms of the tina bff route, @cekorax referenced something to me that made me even more uncomfortable with the flirting between tina and the agent sent to watch over her undercover as a police officer. firstly, it just feels weird, consent feels to be an issue here since tina doesn't Know they're an agent. and they're flirting with her. what my friend mentioned specifically was something that happened in the uk: undercover policemen sent to spy on activists ended up Marrying them. obviously we don't rly know where their ""relationship"" is gonna go (we CAN make likely assumptions tho lol) but it does make me nervous if this person is to be tina's love interest

rebecca............... i feel like there's usually 2 ways people feel about the relationship she has with the detective, and it seems to come down to one's personal experience. in my opinion, the detective holding something over rebecca's head that happened on their birthday at age 7 is a bit odd. but again this is coming from me, someone who did not have a parent who was similar to rebecca in any way. i will add i would've liked to have the choice of the detective to choose not to say anything about it, because mine wouldn't have even thought about it????? idk it just felt weird to me

lastly, i personally would have preferred to choose whether to stay detective & human liaison rather than have No Choice and have to become an agent. most of my detectives would've declined the offer. it kind of felt out of left field for me, i was veeery surprised when i read that scene. i didn't expect it

ok thank u for ur time <3

#twc spoilers #twc book 3 spoilers #twc critical #<3 #disclaimer: i do generally like the book because ub are like my comfort charas rn #but u can be critical of something u enjoy

[masonscig]

Writer Rant: Am I the only one who finds it kind of strange how many people are complaining about how the detective didn't have a choice but to join the agency? Like I totally get thinking its too soon (I personally expected it in book 4 at least, so I have no issue with the opinion it should have happened later in the series) but there's been multiple posts I've seen of people saying they're upset that choice was forced upon them/the 'no' option didn't work, and I'm kind of wondering what they expected? Idk I feel like there's this growing trend in the IF/COG community where people are mad that they can't go completely against the status quo of the story, but like...there's a difference between taking away choices for the protag/taking control out of the players hands and some plots just *needing* to happen in order for the story to proceed as intended, especially when they relate directly to the protag and their environment and not a mostly offscreen situation like the aftermath of whether Sanja survives/the treaty is signed in Book 2.

The detective being a full time agent is a major development and would effect most if not every agency/station related scene going forward - if saying no was a legitimate option that carried over as a major choice, Mishka would basically have to write a second version of each subsequent book to account for the differences until they finally join. Not allowing that to be an option isn't taking away the players choice because it was *never* a choice to begin with, its a set part of the plot already. I get the frustration of it maybe not being the most in character, but the author in me wants to scream that it's not on the author to adapt their story to fit each OC every time, especially when that OC is made to intentionally break what 'should' be happening. For all the legitimate criticism about book 3 that I've seen, this is the one that I genuinely Do Not Understand unless there's just a lot of folks in the fandom without experience writing longer, connective works, because they either don't recognize or respect just *how much* would have to change going forward based on that one call.

i completely get where you're coming from, i really do, but i have to disagree with some points here

i think that the reason people are upset is because mis/hka has like. stripped the agency (haha no pun intended) from the mc but it doesn't quite feel as intentional as she wanted it to be – (idk if i'm explaining correctly bc it makes sense in my head) let's say you're playing with an mc that has little to no agency points, they've fucked up majorly at every stat check (murphy got away, sanja died, falk didn't sign the treaty, falk was hostile, fucked up at the auction), and they're scared of supernaturals? in what world would that qualify the mc for an agency position?

if you're thinking "okay well, maybe it's because the agency is trying to keep a close watch on the mc" – okay, well, mis/hka isn't going to flesh out the idea of the agency being evil or even explicitly morally grey. she's said herself in asks before that the agency are the "good guys" (i don't feel like looking for it lmao if you do, godspeed. there's a lot of asks to sift through) – so the choice just doesn't make sense unless she's been playing the absolute longest con and they'll be revealed to be the true antagonists in the end.

if they are, i'll record myself a jean jacket with no sauce :) xoxo

but like others have said before, mis/hka is writing this series as a utopia of sorts – the mc is a fucking cop, working for a federal agency. and they're presented as the good guys. that alone means that any weird things that they do are going to be pushed aside and blamed on an "individual" rather than the "structure" itself, if that makes sense. (an option available towards the end of book 3 depending on what route you're on is being able to erase bobby's memories if they find out about supernaturals. a cop? possibly forcibly suppressing a journalist? yeah. no thought put into that option.)

what i'm getting at is, she's stripping the choice to join the agency from the mc's who don't want it, and similarly, from what she's shown us, it's not going to amount to anything, because she doesn't seem to criticize any of the systems she's established in a larger sense outside of the mc's dialogue. so if that doesn't matter, then what are the mc's working towards? <- this is a rhetorical question, food for thought if you will LMAO

sorry this is all over the place, but to tie it all back together, i think that yes, if your oc doesn't fit the universe, i completely agree – you can't blame the author for not fulfilling every fantasy you have about the series – but similarly, i think that if mis/hka is giving us the option to make mc's who are untrustworthy of the agency, it's her job to follow through with that to some degree. and that means not just pandering to mcs that love their job, love being a cop, love supernaturals, love the agency, always pass stat checks, etc.

all of my thoughts are based on things she's said about her own story, and how i think that contradicts some ideas she may be unintentionally setting up.

but again, i totally get where ur coming from – branching stories are difficult, i just think that if you're going to offer options in a story, then choices should matter, and they feel like they don't in b3. i get that things need to happen in order for the story to progress, but some of these choices the mc is able to make feels like dead ends? like it's not going anywhere

#sorry for the very long ramble – it's unedited i was just typing out my feelings and it turned into a big thing #this has been the point of the story i've been most interested to see how it plays out even moreso than the romances #bc like. if the c*ps and f*deral agents are good people then. what is the future of this story gonna hold LMAO #again this is unedited just word vomit LMAO #asks #twc book 3 #twc book 3 spoilers #twc b3 spoilers #long post

[agentnatesewell]

hey there! generally speaking I'd come off anon for this but it's been a while since I've properly been on tumblr and I'm too lazy to recover my login info lol. but anyway, I just wanted to say that I really enjoy your blog and it's always a pleasure to read your thoughts and theories about N, as a fellow N mancer! hence why I'm sending you this ask, I haven't seen anyone bring this up yet so I'd love to know your thoughts!

but to get to the actual point of the ask, I've been replaying the N route in book 3 and exploring different choices and picked up on something interesting, I think. 👀 so when you're on the "no one learnt about the supernatural" branch, if you're sober when you come back to the warehouse, you can kiss N. and it really piqued my attention because the text describes the kiss as tasting metallic, which I feel was definitely an intentional choice of words. especially because from what I've noticed, Mishka generally doesn't often include descriptions of how the detective's LI "tastes" when describing kiss scenes and usually the descriptions focus on other sensations and emotions. in addition to this, the other aspect that really made me go hmm here is also the fact that if you ask N what they've been doing while waiting for the detective to come back, they ofc deflect the question and turn on the charm/suaveness and say something along the lines of "even a vampire has to have secrets".

so both of these little things combined really makes me wonder wtf they were doing?? now of course I'm not trying to jump to any nefarious or malicious conclusions or anything like that lol. but it's still definitely something to think about. like idk I wonder if they were drinking blood or doing something with blood?? it could be nothing ofc but I just can't seem to let go of the description of the metallic tasting kiss, it's been on my mind since I read that scene and it definitely feels like a very purposeful hint for something, I just don't know what. now I feel mildly unsettled lol, who knows what N route, X tier related angst Mishka has in store for us!! but idk maybe I'm also just focusing on it too much and overthinking stuff haha.

Hello friend!! If you ever do log in, please drop me a message! Thank you so much for being so lovely and nice! So happy you like the blog - crying about N is seriously one of my favorite things to do.

Going to put my answer being a cut since it’s long + spoilers

It’s so cool that upon replaying and trying the routes, that there are all of these pieces that really start coming together to create this multifaceted story. I’ve only done the Verda dinner with N, Tina dinner with A, and Verda/Tina with F (so, will be a similar scene to what you got! Curious how it’ll go with F). Luckily, a friend had sent me some screenshots of your detective comes home drunk so I do have some context!

I like where you’re going with this, I do the same thing - look at anything for a clue to what their tier x power is. And definitely see where you’re going here!

It seems to me that the detective caught N post-meal (and maybe slipping a bit, blood tastes differently to them, like something pleasant vs the more metallic taste the detective tasted). And N’s kiss was described in the beginning of the book but you’re so right, the way the kisses taste isn’t necessarily a feature of the scene. So, I think you’re also right that it’s deliberate - that usually N tastes like nectar but in this scene, they taste metallic.

With N’s whole … discomfort of being seen/known as a vampire, their wish for humanity and to be seen as human, I can see how maybe they’d not want to being up that their dinner was actually what is necessary to sustain them - their half ration of blood (they were hungry!). Now, we did have the breakfast scene but I’ve never noticed how N drank their blood (tell me where I’m missing it though! Just haven’t seen it!) … F is made to put it in a glass, A in the wine glass, M out of the pouch, but N? Idk!

And I think it pulled into their whole conversation about being a mystery and having their secrets (if you got that in your version!) … something they’re just not ready to fully commit to and share with the detective YET. Which is a parallel to speaking with Verda and Tina about it at dinner time. Since they were asked, and they were willing to answer the really uncomfortable questions to help the detective and their friend.

All such good thoughts!! Thank you so much for sharing them with me! It was really fun to think about. Let me know or you have anymore things to discuss! Hope you’re having a great day!

#thank you for the ask! #anon ask #i am going to have to play a few times and get this option because i am curious! #n is just so much more mysterious as the books go on #twc #n sewell #mar rambles #long post

[foxymoxynoona]

thinking about lowlander again and the first time jungkook gifted mishka shoes. i know it was largely because her old ones were breaking and she really needed a replacement, but this choice of gift just touched me for some reason. he could have given her other things, like jewelry (I don't remember if he did), but he chose shoes. how apt for their time and ways of living, where utility and efficiency and getting safely through the day matter most. i imagine if the story were in a different setting even with the same circumstances, the gift might be different. i don't know, it just says so much about a person's context and their relation with someone by the kind of gifts they give them. even in my own life, gifting someone/being gifted shoes is always such a deep sign of care

Oh I definitely felt like it was a weighty gift! He could have just told Ama to take her to the market and get some simple shoes made, but he made such a show of hunting the druffalo and dedicating his share to warming her hands and feet. But he also recognized she in particular likes pretty, not just functional, so he took the extra effort to make sure they were beautiful, while also needign t be very functional for her to be comfortable in his world. I'm glad this moment stuck out to you!

#asks #lowlander #anonymous

[time-to-write-and-suffer]

ngl i kind of missed your wayhaven commentary. 😭

i didn't like rebeca to begin with, but book 3 made her so much more unlikable to me. i also felt that this book has been the weakest so far in terms of plot for me. i thought book 1 was a pretty solid start to a series and book 2 was a pretty decent sequel, but book 3 just felt like it was trying to do too much and failed at executing what it wanted to execute. i was so mad when we didn't get a choice to reject joining the agency. i think bobby is the most interesting character to me, their character just had so much potential that wasn't used. i enjoyed most parts of M and F's routes, but n's just out of character for me.

I honestly do not get N's appeal at this point in the story. Like outside of the love triangle (which I'm not interested in even trying), N seems like the one with the least potential plots/romantic tension? M is stupid and that's the main angst catalyst, A is just pure tooth-pulling bullshit but I guess some people are masochists (derogatory) with bad taste, while F is bland on paper but is enough of a fun sweetheart to at least be pleasant to read about. What's N's deal that isn't covered by any other UB member? Genuine question, not trying to dunk on N or their stans because I personally struggle to see the storytelling appeal of their romance.

And yeah, book 3 is easily the worst so far in every aspect. It honestly seems like it's just a bunch of scenes loosely connected by time skips. There's no real plot or a progression of events, things don't so much lead to other things as scenes just sort of happen one after another without much connecting them or even explaining why they come in that specific order.

ANYWAY I finished my first playthrough of book 3 while answering this ask and uuh AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA MISHKA I AM IN YOUR WALLS AND I DO NOT COME IN PEACE

#twc spoilers #twc critical

[nexaes]

* 𝐍𝐄𝐗𝐀𝐄𝐒 a canon divergent / headcanon based WANDA MAXIMOFF from the marvel cinematic universe. warped by moe.

𝙸𝙽𝚃𝚁𝙾𝙳𝚄𝙲𝚃𝙸𝙾𝙽. my name is moe (she/her) twenty-three. I am black and cherokee indian.

𝙲𝚁𝙴𝙳𝙸𝚃𝚂. the icon border can be found here and the psd can be found here.

𝙿𝙻𝙰𝚈𝙻𝙸𝚂𝚃𝚂. wandavision | wanda | the scarlet witch

𝙿𝙾𝚁𝚃𝚁𝙰𝚈𝙰𝙻. headcanon rewrite ||. visuals: one & two

𝚆𝚁𝙸𝚃𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝚂𝚃𝚈𝙻𝙴. my style of writing will vary throughout my storytelling on this blog but what will remain is the icons and small text. My mutuals are not required to use icons with their replies or even match my choice of text size -- all I ask is to make the replies easy to read and understand.

𝙿𝙾𝚁𝚃𝚁𝙰𝚈𝙰𝙻. Wanda "Mishka" Maximov is the scarlet witch of Earth-19999. Polish is her native language and she is a white european. There will be a heavy dose of rewriting in my canon and that features a rewatch through all of MCU wanda's film / show media along with more in depth headcanon && meta posts. While I will be drawing some inspiration from the comics -- my interpretation of MCU Wanda doesn't represent 616!Wanda (Romani-Jewish) for several reasons (more specifically, because of their races and MCU Wanda's very flawed writing in AOU and Wandavision, I choose to keep them separate) and for the record, I'm in no shape or form a STAN of MCU Wanda or Elizabeth Olsen.

𝙼𝙰𝚃𝚄𝚁𝙴 𝙲𝙾𝙽𝚃𝙴𝙽𝚃. this blog will feature dark and triggering content not suitable for anyone under the age of eighteen or anyone easily triggered. The following content goes as said: blood rituals, ritualistic cannibalism, cults and survivor trauma, body horror, gore, occultism, demonology, witchcraft, psychological horror, pregnancy (still births, miscarriages, postpartum depression, etc), child / animal death, murder, decomposition, insects (maggots, arachnophobia, etc). Trypophobia, Scopophobia,

𝙵𝙾𝙻𝙻𝙾𝚆𝙸𝙽𝙶. I don't always follow everyone back, it's absolutely nothing personal. I just don't see how our muses could interact. If you want to plot with me please come with an idea of some kind -- otherwise I won't be interested.

𝚄𝙽𝙵𝙾𝙻𝙻𝙾𝚆𝙸𝙽𝙶. I usually soft block if I don't want to follow someone anymore or they make me uncomfortable. The same is applied for me, block me if I make you uncomfortable or you don't have an interest in following me anymore, there won't be any hard feelings.

COMMUNICATION. That being said however, I am a strong advocate for communicating with my partners. You need to tell me upfront if I've done something that made you uncomfortable. Otherwise, I won't know and therefore can't correct myself or maturely address the issue.

CONVERSION TO JUDAISM. I have reached out to actual Jewish people on discord via a secular jewish discord and had a couple of questions to ask. Their input was an incredible help ( they recommended it be more of an independent journey first before taking a big step into conversion with a Rabbi which that time varies from person to person ) in regards to things like Noachide and Musar that needed to be read and understood first. Here and Here are the website resources I'll be reading through. Book recommendations are also welcome whether it's fiction or non-fiction.

READING LIST: Rishonim, Acharonim. Shaarei Teshuvah (Gates of Repentance), The Devil's Arithmetic

#mcu roleplay #indie mcu roleplay #superhero rp #wandavision rp #dsmom roleplay #dsmom rp

[cosmicscreech135]

NIGHT/SHADE: You’re the Drug Review

Play as Sasha, a small time drug dealer in the cyberpunk city of Solena! All he cares about is living his own life the best he can- he's got a job, friends, and friends with benefits (aka Mishka)! Nothing could go wrong!

Essentially what follows is a cyber punk thriller! Sasha's best friend (and potential lover) Mishka is abducted by a rival... company/gang (more on that later) and is being held for reasons unknown to Sasha. Sasha is taken in by Mishka's... company/gang and they all work together to try and save Mishka's life! Along the way you work with Mishka's hot boss, Dima, to potentially save Mishka's life. Seriosu content warnings for drug addiction and gang violence!

This game starts off extremely strong. The art is amazing, the opening animated scene is incredible, and the polish is very strong throughout the game. No typos, great graphics, great editting, the whole shebang. Each character is so visually compelling and immediately gripping, likly bc the two man studio both have strong artistic backgrounds.

So I was excited! All i could think about at work was getting back to more NIGHT/SHADE! Saving Mishka, who I decided to romance! Play this drug king pin game! Until... it wasn't really that. The plot pretty quickly became... muddled. Character decisions weren't very thought through or justified, and frankly I think there were too many characters for a game that only offers two romantic routes. Over the course of the game you explore the story lines of at least 4 people outside of Sasha and the romancable men, to the point where any of the romance that started so intimate and emotional feels very unearned by the end.

Picking the Mishka route, I fully understood we needed to save him, but what I was not expecting was Mishka being gone for nearly the entire game. Similarly, the opportunities to interact with Dima were far too rare to really sympathize with his character. That and several... confusing messages, frankly made the entire message muddled.

The entire game I think is more concerned with his message of community activism (a worthy message) than it is delivering on its story and characters. Its common in cyberpunk settings to discuss the hazy line between capitalism and government, and push it to the extreme. So it's not totally unheard of for a major company to basically have a monopoly over everything in the city from its public transportation to medication to credit cards. This is the case for the protagonist's gang/company. However, the game makes the, well, boring choice, imo, to try and portray that obviously corrupt structure as "well intentioned."

The company might be the biggest drug dealers in the city, but thats because they needed capital to run the trains! It was a faustian deal gone too far... except the details didn't make sense in the slightest. The story makes it clear that this company shouldn't exist and did do bad things (like causing a massive drug epidemic on the scale of the fucking opiod epidemic), and at the end the company is disolved. Which seems like the good choice right?

Fucking no, because the way they disolve the company involves destroying the fucking CURE they just MADE as treatment for drug addiction! yes its hypocritical of them to make and sell a drug for a problem they created, yes, no company should be running everything, but the solution isnt destroying your research documents and pulling the plug on a city's entire train and bus system!

Essentially the end was fairly confusing and contrived, with most of the characters who should feel the most responsibility to the city fucking off to live their lives else where, and it's supposed to be a happy ending bc instead of a corporation who can mass produce essential medication, the protagonist is making a community garden. To be real, while the modern pharmasutical industry is monsterous and it would be great if we could make insulin or PREP on our own (and honestly we could without patent bs), I dont want those factories to be destroyed over night and then one dude with a garden in NYC has the entire hopes of humanity on their shoulders bc the companies finally grew a moral center. If you have the infrastructure and power, own your old evil and do fucking better.

I just... ugh. I hate to rag on logic of all things, this is fiction, its supposed to be suspension of disbelief, but god, i hate when complex problems like a drug epidemic, addiction or hell, just the ethics of dealing drugs in general are handled with what seems like the most basic of lens. Yes, the answer to most of these problems is community building, and corporations will not solve these problems, so I agree with the message of the game, but I think it fails strongly to make that case given the massive plot holes.

And, frankly, i think the mismanagement and ham fisting of a message that the game does not deliver on, was too much of a distraction. I'm not going to be playing to get the other routes, which is a damn shame considering how strong the first hour is. Just everything after that becomes so muddled it's just suffering. And it doesn't help that you are basically just twiddling your thumbs in different side stories until the plot happens. Maybe it would be easier to ignore this and just have a fun time if the main romanceable characters were around for most of the game.

I was going to give this a 3/5 ebcause the art and characters are truly SOOOO strong, like genuinely, but given my complaints I have talked myself into a 2/5 rating. The sex was hot, the characters great, but theres no buzz kill quite like bad takes on real world problems. No h scene replay, and not worth a replay.

#sleepyreviews #NIGHT/SHADE #nightshade: you're the drug #bl game #18+

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Laid Bare

Breach Masterlist

Warnings: non/dubcon sex (series), general angst, arguing, two dumbasses arguing in Russian 

This is dark!Winter Soldier/Bucky and explicit. 18+ only.

Note: We’re so close to the end, I’m sad.

I won’t demand but do ask for feedback; likes, reblogs, replies, comments, asks, especially on this series, but again, enjoy in your own way! <3 Love you!

You stormed down the stairs, so angry you almost tumbled down and barely righted yourself with the railing. You were blinded by the white rage. You’d never been this furious. Not after everything that happened. Not at Hydra, not at Soldat, not even at the world around you. 

But in that moment, you could have torn James into pieces. And you were ready to do just that. 

Luka’s giggles greeted you before you entered the room. You were aware of the men who followed you only steps behind. Howard and Steve made no move to restrain you and if they had, you’d spare them none of your spite.

As you slid to a halt inside the door of the living room, you found Bucky on the floor, holding Luka above him as the boy stretched out his arms like an airplane. The zooming noises coming from the man made you even more angry. How could he sit here and pretend? How could he lie to you?

“James!” you nearly hollered, “you put our son down right now!”

He was startled, the first time you’d ever seen that look in his eyes as he stilled and even your son looked back in fear.

“Mama, what’s wrong?” Luka asked sweetly.

“Mishka, you go to our room and stay,” you ordered, “I speak with your father.”

“What’s going on?” Luka looked close to tears as James put him down.

“You don’t worry,” you said in fractured English, “you go.”

You waited as Steve reached for the boy and took him up the stairs. You turned and watched.

“Steven,” you called after him, “you keep an eye on my boy… and I keep eye on you!”

It was a poor threat as your whirling mind kept you from sense. You looked to Howard as he remained agape at the foot of the stairs.

“And you, you want to see!?” you jabbed your finger at him and devolved into Russian as you began to shake with anger. The words you called him you’d never even heard in English.

“Hey,” James touched your arm, “Howard, go.”

You spun and shoved James away. He flinched and planted his feet as he watched you. You heard Howard’s retreat and curled your lip.

“They told you,” he said plainly.

“In Russian,” you demanded, “I can’t think in your tongue!”

“I’m sorry. It’s best for all of us. I got you this far--”

“So you know that you would go to your death?” you spat in Russian, “you would leave us after all of this?”

“I’m finishing the job. I’m saving you and the boy.”

“Your boy!” you shouted, “yours! James, you idiot! It was never you and me, it was us. We got this far. Together! And now you think you owe me this? That you owe them? You earned your life.”

“I hurt you!” his voice cracked as it rose and his eyes shone, “I hurt you all those times and I remember every time.” He shook his head and backed away, almost cowering, “I remember the look in your eyes, the way you begged me to stop, and I couldn’t. Luka’s life is the one that I earned. Yours, I earned that, too. Mine is the cost--”

“No,” you barked and got closer to him, “That’s shit and you know it. It wasn’t you, you are not the soldat.” You panted and your lip trembled as you watched him, “I forgave you. I forgive you.” You neared him and he winced as you reached for his hand, his real hand, “this is you,” you said and reached to his metal fingers, “this is not. I know the difference.”

“I have to go--”

“Then I go too,” you said as you clung to his hands, “I go and we both come back.”

“No, you can’t--”

“Because I will die? You think only you get to make that choice? No, you go and I go with you,” you insisted.

He stared at you, searching, his blue eyes sparkled in confusion. His lips parted and he let out an exasperated breath, “why?”

“Because you idiot, I love you,” you dropped his hands and wrapped your arms around him as you pressed your head to his shoulder. 

For a moment, he was frozen, he was shocked, he was dazed. Then he hugged you back and held you. His fingers rubbed your back and you heard his heartbeat racing, your own too.

“I…” he rasped as he brought his real hand up as you looked at him. He framed your face and his thumb glided down your cheek, “I…” his throat bobbed, “I love you, too.”

“So you let me save you this time,” you said, “it’s my turn.”

Slowly he leaned in, almost scared as his lips brushed yours. You pushed your mouth to his and kissed him. As deep as you could, as hard as you could, with every ounce of loneliness and pain that you’d felt in all those years. 

He squeezed you to him as he kissed you back and for the first time, he relaxed. He just was. He wasn’t tense, he wasn’t pacing, he wasn’t bracing for the worst. He was just there with you.

You hung off of him and blindly walked him backwards. He let you guide him and by chance, you led him to the couch. He parted from your lips as he fell back and you quickly climbed on top of him. You caught yourself on his shoulders and looked him in the face.

“Do you want this?” you asked, “do you want me?”

“Yes, do you want me?” he uttered in a brittle tone. 

“Yes, yes, I do,” you cradled his face and kissed him once more.

His hands walked up and down your sides and along your stomach. He explored every inch as if it were the first time. It was, really. The first time with James, the first time he’d really remember. The first time for the woman he’d saved.

You reached for the bottom of his tee shirt and he winced again. You paused and his gaze met yours as you sat up.

“James?”

“I just… I don’t want to hurt you,” he said.

“You won’t,” you assured him and rolled the hem up his muscled torso.

He let you and lifted his arms. You tossed aside the shirt and he kept you from stripping off your own shirt. “No, I have to-- Just--”

He reached over to the metal along his left shoulder. His fingers curled around and he grimaced as he pulled. The arm popped off and he gasped as it fell limp beside him on the couch. The scars along his chest and shoulder ended in a stump with exposed metal that connected it to the enhanced prosthetic. He closed his eyes and looked down.

“You don’t have to be ashamed,” you said.

“I’m not,” he replied as he opened his eyes, “but I only want you to see me. Just me.”

You pecked his lips and then his cheeks and neck. His arm hooked around you loosely as he let you take control. His fingertips pressed to your flesh as he groaned and you pulled back to take off your shirt. With each breath, each touch, each kiss, you grew more impatient. You’d waited long enough.

You slung your arm around his neck and pulled him close as you took his hand and put it against your chest. He squeezed through the thin fabric of your bra. You turned and pushed him onto his back. He kicked his metal arm onto the floor as he followed your direction and you spread your body over his.

You kissed down along his throat, his collarbone, his broad chest, and when you traced the lines of his scars with your lips he shivered. You tended to each inch of him as you undressed him. 

He unhooked your bra and moved more confidently as he helped you out of your jeans. You wiggled out of your panties and laid over him, your leg bent over his hips as you basked in his warmth and lost yourself in his embrace.

He turned you on your side as you kept your leg hooked around him. You reached between your bodies and he let out a sharp breath as you grasped his length. You pushed you hand up and down him and nibbled hungrily at his bottom lip.

You lifted yourself over him as he fell onto his back again. You angled him between your legs and eased onto him. He slide into you smoothly and you buried your fingers in his hair and racked your nails down his beard as you got to your limit. You moaned and began to move your hips.

He tilted into you from below as his hand trailed the curved of your back and he gripped your thigh. You rocked on top of him slowly, carefully building your motion as heat flowed between your bodies. 

Your voice mingled with his and carried through the air but you didn’t care who heard. You needed him, you’d needed him for so long.

You moved faster and faster as the pressure built. You kissed him sloppily, bit at him as he nipped back, introduced yourself to this man through your touch. Your breath hitched and you pushed yourself up to straddle him completely, your hands on his chest as he gazed up at you with smoky eyes.

His hand crawled up your side and he admired the joining of your bodies with a groan. Your pelvis rubbed against his tantalizingly and you threw your head back in ecstasy as it rained down on you suddenly. You purred and pouted as you came but kept going, you wanted more, you wanted all of him.

He sat up and snaked his arm behind you. He fucked you from below as you kept your body in motion with his. His hot breath clouded around you and filled your lungs as he kissed you a dozenth time. Your lust was laced with a sense of disbelief.

He moaned and said your name. You felt how close he was and you urged him as you bucked your hips. The coach squeaked beneath your weight and you grasped his shoulders as another tidal crashed down over you. 

His hand stretched across the back of your neck and he grunted. He spilled into you and you slowed until you were still. He held you in his arm and you clung to him, clung to the moment. When it was over, when it was really over, you would have to face everything else and you were happy in that moment with just the two of you.

He fell back with you against him. He dragged his fingernails over your scalp and sighed. You echoed him and inhaled the scent of his sweat. You slid your arms under him and listened to his heart calm.

“Why did you never tell me?” you asked.

“Tell you what?”

“That you love me.”

“Because I’ve done enough to you.”

“Oh, and now you’re just torturing yourself,” you turned your head to look up at him, “when this is done, when we do what they want, it’s over. We go and be happy. No more torture.”

“When this is done?” he said thinly.

“We go together, we come back together,” you pushed the end of his hair away from his forehead, “for Luka.”

“Together,” he repeated.

You dropped your head and closed your eyes. Just a few more minutes. Just a little longer before the tugging in your chest was too much. You doubted your words just as much as he did.

#breach #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #dark winter soldier #winter soldier x reader #dark!bucky barnes #dark bucky barnes #soft bucky barnes #yeah bitch whatever i have a heart #series #fic #mcu #marvel #winter soldier #captain america #howard stark #steve rogers

[northern-passage]

hey, i hope you don't mind my asking and feel free to not respond, but what actually happened with twc? i've never played it, but i see you posting about it sometimes and what happened seems to be pretty major in the if community, but i haven't seen anything explaining what it is (besides some complete bs, of course). could you tell me?

alright i'm going to make one post about this only because i've gotten multiple asks about this, and i'm going to assume this is in good faith, but i implore you to just go through the twc tag and read what actual readers are saying - but for people that missed what initially happened, i'll try my best to condense it under the cut.

know that firstly this is not a one off incident but an accumulation of mistakes and inaction and general ignorance on mishka's and nai's part, and also that i am white and their apologies are not mine to accept, and that the best we can do right now is to listen to readers and writers of color and understand why people are upset and angry.

leading up to this incident, there have been multiple problems that readers have time and time again brought up to mishka and called attention to, including:

harmful stereotypes in the depiction of M, a person of color, as being crude and hypersexual - so much so as calling them "animalistic" at one point (mishka did apologize for this)

which also leads to repeated whitewashing of M, N, and F, and that their skintones and ethnicities have been treated as "spoilers" and were hidden behind a paywall for a period of time in which people unknowingly whitewashed the characters due to the poor in game descriptions and encouragement of mishka (the skintone swatches have since been posted and mishka/nai has completely stopped reblogging colored art of UB. they have never properly acknowledged this)

making all of unit alpha, who are werewolves, people of color, which is already a whole issue on its own within the supernatural genre, as well as perpetuating the stereotype that Māori men are aggressive and sexual, likening them to dogs, just so the vampire RO can be possessive/protective over the detective

F's character continuously being sidelined as the "black best friend" trope

the fact that apparently she has queer beta readers but the gay/lesbian intimate scenes with M are... like that.....

also this is me personally but the heterosexual ideals for unit bravo where they look different depending on their gender is something that really bothers me and while i could let that go on it's own, adding it on to the way the gay romances are clearly second thought compared to the straight romances makes it more of a problem

the way A's demisexuality was handled (this was the same time that the animalistic comment was made about M) - mishka stated that A was ace due to trauma, and then had them teased about it by F and M which was. a choice

this has accumulated and led us to what happened the other day. and i cannot stress this enough - these are all problems that have been brought to mishka's attention again and again and have been ignored again and again.

the other day nai/mishka were posting instagram edits for unit bravo and posted one for M in which M had a white hand. M is not white. for reference, this is their official color swatch released by mishka after pressure from the community:

people were rightfully angry and hurt by this and commented under the post expressing so. eventually this led to nai deleting the edits, and posting a very vague and self-pitying apology in which she did not explain what she did or why it was wrong and also made it seem like she was a victim, somehow. this then resulted in the comments under the apology exploding, with people throwing around racial slurs and harassing readers of color for not accepting said apology.

during this time, nai/mishka chose to post a cheeky picture of a beach and about how their holiday was going, completely ignoring the comments and notifications under the post as well as people fully @ing them in separate posts to bring attention to what was happening. i understand that if they were on holiday they may not have had the time/ability to fully address what was going on, but the tone-deafness of posting the beach pic and allowing their queue to run for some time and completely ignore what was happening was... not a good look.

eventually after a lot of pressure and suggestions from the community they completely turned comments off for their posts, as well as went through and deleted all the racist comments under the apology. they then made another statement promising to do better, and look into bias training and getting sensitivity readers.

how someone chooses to have over half their cast be people of color and not already have sensitivity readers is beyond me... but the real problem here is the repetition of the same mistakes and lack of acknowledgement or growth from mishka or nai.

they can keep making apologies and promises but they have been doing that since the beginning and there has been no change. i've said before i do not think either of them are willfully malicious, they are simply ignorant and privileged, but when you have a platform like this and have had these same issues come up again and again i think it's time to step back and actually listen to these criticisms. they also make an insane amount of money off their patreon - they can easily hire sensitivity readers with that.

they stress that they want their blog and fandom to be a safe place for everyone but they harbor racists and homophobes and refuse to take a firm stance against them, instead making hand-waving comments and empty promises while maintaining a center stance that can sway one way or another.

in both statements, mishka/nai paint themselves as victims, going so far as to blame fans for whitewashed content and saying they can't control them, and while this is true to an exent, it was also their choice to paywall the official art of unit bravo and choosing to reblog whitewashed fanart (with praise!!) early on. again, this has never been acknowledged by them.

and that brings us to today. i really don't have anything else to say - again, i really suggest you go through the twc tag and read what actual fans/readers of color are saying. i have not read twc since book 2 and have only been kept in the loop about all of this because some twc fans have consistently been harassing me and other authors for various things, and i'm going to be honest - i'm really fucking tired of twc.

i wish the best for mishka and i sincerely do hope she actually puts real effort into making changes going forward but forgive me for being a bit cynical about it when this is a repeated pattern of behavior from her. at the end of the day she's still going to put out 7 books with cog and continue to be a big name in the interactive fiction community. the least she can do is set a better example and put in the work to earn it

#ask #anonymous

[beetlebethwrites]

Hi! Sorry to ask this question to you but I'm pretty new to IF games, just get into it a month ago, and you've seem to reblogging about an IF author(? I think?) that related to racism? (If I'm not mistaken?) Can i ask what the cause of this? (Idk bout u but I'm in FNAF fandom and it seems this lately Scott also received the same backlash but more towards LGBTQ+ community and now I'm just curious to say the least) you don't have to answer this if you don't want! as this is just to appease my curiosity

I am not sure I'm the best person to come to for a full amazing take (that person would be Mila @milaswriting , who is a POC author of an incredible story, Golden and who is always incredibly eloquent and has taken a lot of shit from this IF author's fandom before)

But yeah, this is in relation to the author of The Wayhaven Chronicles and her lack of action with regards to addressing racism (this time) and other problems in the past. This is under a cut because it got really fucking long my dudes.

The social media manager, Nai, posted a picture on Instagram from the character of Morgan (who is a dark-skinned Greek person as shown here) with a white hand. People in the comments were rightfully angry about this and instead of combating it well, Nai deleted the post and made an apology that doesn't actually address the issue (and is also a little bit self-pitying). The comments of this apology went mad and people who were defending Nai were also being racist towards those who have issues with the way that the situation and original post were handled. I have also seen it reported that people used racial slurs, although I didn’t see this myself before the comments were deleted. Through this, the comments were not being moderated or addressed. Since then, the replies have been stopped but Mishka/Nai have continued to post and reblog things, in particular one choice post about their holidays.

They have not condemned the racism or even said anything about it as of right now.

This has continued into the main tag and into POC fans inboxes, but still there's nothing from Nai or Mishka (the writer of TWC). This could just be a poorly handled thing if there wasn't a past of racism and LGBTQ+ phobia within the writing, which there is including;

Putting the referenced skin colours and official art behind a paywall on her patreon, thus limiting who could see it in the first place until pressure meant she uploaded it onto tumblr.

Referring to M as 'animalistic' in an episode of their Q+A (which Mishka did apologise for)

In the same Q+A, implied that her pansexual character M is attracted to everyone, a harmful stereotype that stacks onto the fact that M is brown, and black and brown people are already stereotyped as hypersexual.

Likening A's demisexuality to a response from their trauma and implying it's a result of them being emotionally repressed (which I think she apologised for?)

Reblogging white-washed art of her characters with praise (which she didn't say anything about but after being called out stopped reblogging coloured art of the characters in question)

Added a god worshipped by southwest Asian people into her story as a character who is a slave (Anunnaki in the demo)

Made all of the werewolf characters we've met so far POC (here) which is a stereotype that's already been massively amplified by other works of fiction to do with vampires

Sidelined F (one of her own main characters), possibly due to settling into ‘best friend’ stereotypes of black people (here)

Has some very cis-straight ideals for the different versions of UB (including different heights, male!M wearing only eyeliner while female!M wears eyeliner, mascara, lipstick)

People are also critical of the portrayal of Rebecca, the MCs mother something I've never personally felt an issue with, but I can understand why people really do.

Mishka could have hired sensitivity readers with the money she makes from Patreon alone (£7.5k GBP a month as of today) and bc of taxes she wouldn't lose much at all IMO if she paid readers for their work.

This isn't even starting on the fandom and its attitude towards other Interactive Fiction authors, especially authors of colour, which is a whole other thing but I won't address that here.

I'm going to finish by saying that even though I've just made a fucking list, I don't think Mishka is racist on purpose, it stems from a place of ignorance and priviledge. However, when you have a fandom this size, who pay you so much, you have a duty to take care in the way you write POC and LGBTQ+ people.

#i was going to avoid saying the full name but fuck it #this this is a summary of everything #as far as i can remember #also with some compilation at the bottom oop this took a minute bc i wanted to be thorough #hope this helps :) #anonymous #answered <3 #i don't have hot takes but you can bet i can consolidate sources #twc #the wayhaven chronicles