#maybe it is just a cold and my old af ass is being dramatic | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

rainbowsntears · 5 years

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cold outbreak ( finn x sick!reader )

request

↳ finn taking care of you when you’re sick headcanon?

warnings

↳ fluff, fluff, maybe bad words oops but jus fluff lol

note

↳ hi i made this an au so finn isn’t famous but is just your boyfriend that goes to your school if that’s okay? also omg how long has it been since i last wrote here? three months? idk oops sorry but enjoy! love u x

it’s cold, it’s awful weather. it’s been like this for some time now and honestly what the frig mother nature

the rain is beautiful, i love rain sm idk bout y’all

but sometimes when it gets toooooo chilly and there’s been a bad cold and fever outbreak around the place, obviously the rainy weather is a lil irritating

especially because...yay! you’ve been cursed with a cold thanks to someone at school

fuck i get colds all the time ugh

but that’s only because i’m vegetarian and don’t take my iron tablets even though i got bad iron deficiency fwefjwehjhe

anyway

so you’ve had to miss out on school this week because you’re sick as a dog and you kinda feel like you’re on your death bed.

the whole day you finished on some homework that was due and napped and watched tv. literally it’s been pretty boring, and you’ve already gone through a box of tissues because jEsus how much mucas does your body actually have lmfao.

also you’re completely drugged up from the amount of cold and flu tablets you’ve taken.

your mum tried making you drink some of that nasty ass ‘strawberry’ flavoured cough medicine even though it tastes like a burnt chemical that lives within the depths of brutal hell and NOTHING like strawberry. but you cried hard enough that she gave up on trying.

you miss finn because he’s at school and you want to cry.

but you know what? finn being the best boyfriend, he’ll text you every morning that you’ve been sick this week wishing for you to feel better and that he’ll see you after school.

which he always does.

finn would knock on the house door and your mum would let him in, giving him good luck to not get sick as he would make his way to your room

and when you would see him after just blowing your nose, omg the biggest smile would grow upon both of your faces

even though finn kinda scrunches his face up because OBVIOUSLY your body thinks it’s the perfect time to give you a nice coughing fit just after choking out a greeting

“geez you don’t look too good” finn would snicker as he’d sit on the edge of your bed and hand you more homework that was assigned to you by your teachers and chocolate he brought from the store before coming over here. even tho chocolate isn’t the best thing to have when you’re sick, you still gladly take it.

you’ll glare at him as you say, “shut the fUCK up” in a hoarse and dry voice

finn would laugh

so while he’s there, finn likes to make you some soup because ugh we love a boyfriend who can cook

and by cook i mean he just makes two-minute noodles but it’s the thought that c o u n t s

you enjoy snapchatting him when he’s making the soup ( cue the gif from above bois )

he just shakes his head and laughs

finn also refills your glass of water and makes sure you take your tablets at the right time, and as much as you banter him for being a second mum to you

you still love it

“anything special happened at school?” you’d ask

and ooooo you sure love the tea finn spills

at this point he’d be cradling you in his arms from behind on your bed

so at least finn isn’t coping your bad sick breath and if you need the box of tissues, he’s able to grab it for you without you moving.

“well, my science teacher said orgasm instead of organism and-”

you choked hard on your water

“WHAT??!?!!”

finn nodded his head, a small chuckle escaping his throat when he heard you laugh

“yeah, it was so funny! he was embarrassed as shit and basically, the whole class paid him out for it for the rest of the lesson”

SOME GUY IN MY SCIENCE CLASS DID THAT AND I’M TELLING YOU RIGHT NOW I HAVE NEVER LAUGHED SO HARD

you were giggling as much as you could before you started to go into a coughing fit, but it was still funny. and you muttered a small, “oh poor guy!” before kindly asking for the box of tissues.

for the rest of the time that finn was there, you guys cuddled and watched a movie

finn likes to banter about you being sick

so when you cough, he’ll dramatically gasp and choke

“oH GROSS”

you groan

“I’M SICK WHAT DO YOU EXPECT”

also when you have to blow your nose finn just scrunches his face up and sighs heavily

“i buy you chocolate and care for you and thIS IS THE THANKS I GET?”

you were so close to deliberately coughing in his face but all you do is just roll your eyes and nudge his stomach with your elbow.

but it’s all for shits and giggles, and honest to god, finn actually loves taking care of you and making sure you’re okay because that’s how great of a boyfriend he is.

and as much as he wants to because he loves affection, you don’t let him kiss you.

like-

iT’s vV cLiChE wHeN peOpLe kIsS wHiLe tHeIr sIcK

also you guys can wait, and so when you’re better you can kiss all you like! sometimes you gotta be safe than sorry kids!

plus finn acts wayyyyy worse when he’s sick. like it’s as if he’s dead in hell and trying to say his last fucking words to you

it’s like he’s in some kind of hospital bed and he’s at least 108 years old

it’s ridiculous but funny af

sometimes you’ll fall asleep in his arms because you’re so tired from staying up late being sick and such, and finn admires how quiet you are and not blowing snot everywhere lol

also, he may have kissed your forehead a couple of times because he can’t help himself

you never find out tho

when you fall asleep, that’s more of finn’s cue to leave since he sure knows that you won’t be waking up till two hours later. and the boy has to get home before it goes dark - yes, you two live close to one another.

so when you do wake up after a big phat three-hour nap, you’re in awe with how comfortable you are

lmao i literally had a three-hour nap between 3pm-6pm it was amazing

so that’s when you realise that finn literally tucked you into bed, made sure you slept with two pillows, refilled your water one last time and left you a lil note that wrote:

sorry i had to go, i didn’t want to walk home at night and it looked like you really needed to sleep lol. i really hope you get better though because i miss you at school. love you, baby, see you soon. - finnieeee

you don’t miss the way your heart skips a bit and omg i cry

he’s too precious for this world istg-

but yeah! that’s finn taking care of you when you’re sick

sometimes he’ll bring flowers rather than chocolate, but most of the time it’s the food that he gives you

anyway y’all are cute

finn deserves the world

we love finn

we stan

oKAY SORRY BYE

but then again, if you actually are sick rn, hope you feel better. have honey and lemon if you have a sore throat, rest, don't go to school and drink water!

love you guys sm xxxxxxxx

#finn #finn imagine #finn wolfhard #finn wolfhard imagines #finn wolfhard imagine #stranger things #it imagine #imagine #Headcanon #headcanons #stranger things headcanons #finn wolfhard headcanons #finn wolfhard headcanon #imagines #finn wolfhard gif

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spirits-n-suchh · 4 years

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Spooky Story #1

Ok, so this is gonna be a long one, so i’ll put it under a read-more..

A few years ago, my bf and I moved out onto a place on his mom’s property. This was way out the woods, and I wasn’t very used to that kind of life. The best and fastest road out to our neck of the woods and back into town was a long, LONG winding road through the woods. It always felt like it took forever to get down that mf. If you’ve ever lived out in the country, you know what i’m talking about. Trees or fields on either side, no houses, no street lights to speak of. I was always scared of a deer jumping out in front of me when I drove. I would worry a lot about people too, since there were a surprising amount of people walking down that road at any hour of the day and night. So, what i’m saying is...seeing people walking on the road wasn’t necessarily out of the ordinary..

My BF got a new job working at a warehouse for a well-known beer company. He never had a set time he would get off work each night. He always went in around 2pm until whenever they finished, basically. So, more often than not, he would get off work between 2-5am every night. And guess who always had to stay awake and pick him up? That’s right...me. I mean, I did enjoy staying up. It was the part where I had to walk to the car in the pitch black yard surrounded by woods I dreaded. Anyways...I cannot recall the first time I saw him exactly, because I thought it was just a person at first. A weird person, but a human nonetheless. Somewhere along this long-ass stretch of road, I saw a man on the side of the road. He was knelt down, facing the woods, back turned at the road, staring at the ground and gently pawing at it. I use the word “pawing” because it wasn’t like he was furiously digging at the ground with both hands. Just barely, if at all, moving around the dirt and gravel. Never once did he look up, or move besides his one hand at the ground. Never in the many times I saw him.

I thought it was really fucking strange, being it was always around 2-4am when I saw him. Just a very strange time to be out. Since the area has a notorious drug problem...I chalked it up to some guy just being high and walking home or something. Idk. I always try to be rational about things and mind my business. I never saw him a second time on my way home though. Oddly enough.

I kept seeing him, not very often mind you. Maybe once every couple of weeks to a month in between. And it was always only me who saw him. I started to joke around to myself “what is it’s a ghost? lol.” He was always in the same spot, on the same side of the road. Always. And always repeating the exact same behavior. Crouching down. Facing away. Never once looking up. (I've thought about drawing it)

It happened at least half a dozen times. The very last time I saw him before we moved again was really unexpected. It was like he just materialized from the darkness. Or maybe it was just particularly dark that night when my headlights found him. It was the first and only time I ever felt any kind of fear from seeing him. But for some reason, even being in a speeding car going 60+mph, I felt fear as if he could reach out and grab me. I have no idea why honestly. It just really sticks out in my mind as the scariest time I saw him.

The only other person I can really talk to about this kind of thing is my sister though, since we have both experienced paranormal events as kids. So, in our minds, those were never hallucinations or our overactive imaginations.. My mom thinks anything to do with the supernatural is all demons, being extremely religious. So...I can’t talk to her about it at all. Even jokingly. But I explained to my sister what I've been seeing and she just looks over at me with huge, wide eyes and says, “Bitch, that is a ghost.” And I swear my whole body felt cold. Like, just hearing someone else suggest it first made my stomach drop. Unlike me though, my sister is kind of scared to talk about them for fear of them “coming back.” Like...UGH, that gives me shivers.

anyways...

Whether it was a ghost or a person, its still creepy af to me. Because if that’s not a ghost, that means this person likely lives on someone else’s private property and camps on it...why he finds the need to go on the road and be creepy, I haven’t a clue. Why is he digging? What is he hiding? What are the odds of me only seeing him during that 3-hour window I go out each night but never on my way home? Why not any other time of day? Idk man, drives me nuts.

it’s weird that I can’t even remember what he was wearing exactly, or what color. Only it was dirty? Or just a sandy color maybe? I only surmise it was a man because of his broad shoulders and general shape. I never once saw his face. And it made me realize that any ‘ghost’ I ever saw never had a face, actually...

Oh, and an important part I've left out of this story for dramatic effect?? Was that...the place I always saw the man was in front of an old fucking Cemetery. No houses and woods for miles with a cemetery smack dab in the middle. Creepy.

Oh, and it was also a Pokestop...oddly enough. wtf?

#welp that’s my ghost story #sorry if it’s not that scary lol #but I have more 👀#personal #ghost stories #Happy Halloween!!

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edengreengrass · 5 years

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hello, im cait and this is my gay angel, eden and heres a little about her!! i use she/her pronouns and my timezone is gmt. i’m always open to plots so hmu!! i also have a plot page so you can have a little look at that for any inspo!!

having to learn that you don’t have to become your parents. the familiar scent of a new book. never wanting to be anything but the best at everything. having that strength not to fall into the darkness that’s inside of you. wanting to control everything, even if it’s not possible. ink stained hands paired with paper that’s littered with unspoken words. having to learn that being anything but impartial is not a weakness. ┊ if you’re looking for EDEN GREENGRASS, you’ll probably find HER in the SLYTHERIN dorm with the rest of the SEVENTH years. they’re the TWENTY ONE year old PUREBLOOD who looks kind of like CAMILA MENDES. they seem CREATIVE, INDEPENDANT, OPEN MINDED to me, but apparently they’re also ARROGANT, UNFOCUSED, CYNICAL. maybe that’s why their patronus is TONKINESE CAT.

this is my dramatic slytherin princess

she’s gay af like always thinking about hot women

part of the sacred twenty eight but her family has disowned her

she doesn’t support what her family stands for and is seen as a blood traitor

a big ass feminist!! believes in equality for everyone, no matter race, blood status, gender or sexuality

cares a lot but doesn’t always show it

scared of opening up to people

didn’t have the best upbringing. her house was quite a dark and cold place, her parents caring more about image than anything else

she’d never really known love until she went to hogwarts

has so much ambition in her but doesnt really know what to put it in

loves anything muggle related like fucking loves it all

enjoys to write but doesn’t ever show anyone?? shes actually really good and uses it to figure out her thoughts and feelings

oh yeah she’s a cancer and was born in june

eden was born in glasgow, scotland

you’ll always find her wearing her signature snake ring on her right forefinger and it was a gift from her parents and despite everything, she can’t get rid of it

has a natural gift at potions and charms despite hating potions with every fibre of her being??? only doing it because shes good at it and she loves being the best at everything she does?? you bet

an anxious little thing due to her upbringing but doesn’t show it because shes always so composed and in control

doesn’t have a large number of close friends but the ones she is close with, she would do anything for

has no patience whatsoever and finds herself losing her temper 9/10 times a day

she’s really just a hot mess who’s trying to learn that not everything needs to be perfect

#epoch.intro #( to know her you have to look between the lines ;; about )

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calumniare-blog · 7 years

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>Repent.

| Eridan Pyrope |

You're quietly watching outside the window, watching all the new colours the sky introduces to you in just a few minutes as the dawn starts. You lean back, taking it all in and trying to relax. Damn it. It's been three days and no sign from any guard suddenly proudly carrying Peixes to your doorstep. No one to turn to, no one who could possibly know where he went. Fucking damn it. Out of nowhere you impulsively knock over documents, little souvenirs from trips you've taken, photos and what the fuck ever. You can't even bring yourself to care for a split of a second.

You turn around just to convince yourself once again that you're alone. No one to impress with your calm and unpredictable exterior, no one to judge you for your mistakes. Just you. You can't even feel lonely with how your anger takes up the entire room, even making you claustrophobic. You need to do something. See someone. Plan something. God, if it weren't for your guards just outside the office you'd be screaming your fucking lungs out, but after all of this your image is still more important. You have to keep it up, you have to stay calm.

You need to run somewhere. Get out of here. Quick.

And just as you walk an inch closer to the door someone knocks. Looks like destiny is one step ahead of you.

| Gamzee Vantas |

When the door slides open Eridan is greeted by two trolls in clean, white button up shirts and well pressed black slacks.

One, a man, gives him a wide toothy grin with just a few holes where teeth used to be, apparently quite freshly removed if the way his teeth were stained a light orange was any sign. One of his eyes were bruised, and the hands with which he held tightly to a leather bound book were cut and bloodied.

The other, a woman, glowers. Not at him, just sort of. In general. Her lips are pressed tightly shut, and her one eye regards him with a hostile indifference. She stands snap straight at attention, her arms folded behind her back.

The man shuts his eyes tightly for a few seconds and breathes in. Then pops them back open and speaks in a wavering, cracking sort of way. "H-Hello sir! Have you heard the good word about our l-lord and-d savior, Gamzee Vantas? He-He's our hero, a hero for the people! An-and he's very disappointed in you."

Somewhere back in the house there's the sound of some glass breaking. Then some more. A lot of glass breaking, just how many windows are there in this place anyway?

The witness at the door seems to hear it too, clearing his throat, talking louder, pushing himself forward into the doorway. "T-Tell me, Mr.Pyrope, wh-when's the last time you repented to our just and furious god?"

| Eridan Pyrope |

Your stance goes from defensive to calm in a few seconds, forcing relaxation on yourself. Or at least looking like it, because seeing two strangers walk into your office without any further notice is already alarming enough. It's apparent you're immediately thinking, calculating and analysing. Not having any idea what's going on is already terrifying enough but the fact this is happening for the second time this week is just setting you off in the worst way possible.

Calm, Eridan. No matter how you react, you can't run from it. And when things click in your head and you finally realise the severity of the situation as you hear the all too familiar name you're positive there's absolutely no possible way to run from it. But the only response that comes from you is your eyes widening for a second just before you desperately try to calm yourself quietly. If you have to go, then so be it. But he will not get the satisfaction of you begging for your dear life.

"I definitely won't be starting today."

| Gamzee Vantas |

The witness looks genuinely hurt for a few seconds, clasping his book to his chest. "O-Oh sir, I'm so sorry to hear that b-but I'm af-afraid..."

There's a brief pause as footsteps-- many footsteps file into the room behind Eridan. Without even turning around he could probably tell they've got him closed in from the back. There's a long hacking cough before you finally speak up. "I am afraid, Brother Pyrope, you ain't got no fucking say in the matter here today."

You roll your shoulders, joints popping and snapping as you walk up to him and slap one of your heavy hands on his shoulder, the other holding tight to one of your saintly sacred sledges ready to beat the sin out of this manipulative fucking heathen should he take the wrong step crossways and attract your more immediate ire. Now, you didn't hate the poor boy or nothing yet, but you were so sorely disappointed that one of your flock would go so astray. "So. Little fucking birdy done told me a brother was keeping a goldfish pet around here. You got something to say about that, son?"

| Eridan Pyrope |

Yes, he may be a lot fucking taller than you. Yes, he may have two people behind him while you have none. But you've got one last thing left. That one thing is that you've got nothing to lose except your pride. And hell, you're going to hold onto that until your last breath.

You swallow down the sheer fear that overcomes you as soon as you feel your new enemy's hand on you. Really, you almost choke on it, but only almost. Your old smirk comes back onto your face, glossing over any sort of insecurity you might be feeling at the moment. You have nothing to lose. It's over, Eridan.

"Gam, not even a hello? For some reason I always believed that we were colleagues - maybe even friends - and yet you never visit. But here you are, in all your glory - and just in time for the sunrise too. Nature always hides its most precious gifts where you'd least expect them. We always just spend our time avoiding the sun, but have you never thought what there could be hiding from us in those hours?" Oh yeah, you're definitely testing your limits now.

| Gamzee Vantas |

"I am sorry, my brother, that I cannot bring my self to... Indulge in this runious finery as your fucking dumb ass seems so eager to do. But a real motherfucker has to be out there. In the dirt. Actually doing real shit." Your grip on his shoulder tightens and you lean down quite a ways to get eye level with him, faces just barely a few inches apart. "Unlike some motherfuckers thinking they can raise princes like a fucking dog."

Straightening up you smile coldly down at him, jabbing his chest with an accusatory finger. "Yeah. I think about what hides in the fucking dark places a lot brother. And I am out here trying to fucking bring that shit to light. In a holy fire. A cleansing light. Make everything new. Better for us. You just want a fucking puppet you got your hand up the ass of playing with some fucking neon while you get all fucking filthy on what pours down from its nasty little mouth."

Your followers step into Eridan's place, shutting the door behind them before turning their attention to the traitor. The brownblood opens up his hollow book, pulling out some zipties and trying to get Eridan secured while your maroon pal pulls the bat out from behind her back and slaps it in her hand to let the teal know she's got it.

"Anyhow, all this motherfucking grandstanding shit aside son, I am accusing your ass of treason of the highest fucking order. Collaborating with the enemy. Going against gods plans for the fucking pinkies. How you pleading?" Your blood is already burning. Parts of you wish this boy would put up some kind of fight.

| Eridan Pyrope |

When fear hits you the most is when you suddenly give a chuckle right into his face. You'd probably say that being this close to a Vantas is one of the scariest things on this planet. And the way you deal with panic is by laughing at it. Just laugh; it makes you seem stronger, calculated and relaxed.

Add a clever insult to it and you're all set. "Oh boy, is that your breath?" For dramatic purposes you wave a hand in front of you, as if to fan the odour away but also to get at least some distance between you two. "Don't you think it ruins the illusion of you being a god or some such when you already fail at simple hygiene?"

You don't fight against being tied up; you don't even move a single inch, no matter how your feet are prickling with the instinct to run or just do something. All you do is take deeper breaths than before to avoid the ragged breathing. Other than that everything stays the same; your proud stance, your smirk, your attitude towards all of this. Pure calmness, fighting against every little instinct in your body.

"Isn't it fascinating how one troll can completely demolish any belief just because he was thirsty for godlike power? Trolls claiming religion for themselves and making something truly disastrous out of it is what made me stop believing long ago."

| Gamzee Vantas |

Your smile falls from your face as you regard the little man with obvious disdain. Like a child. He throws out shit and talks about the machniations he can't understand, hides himself all up behind insults. Makes you sick. Didn't even fucking address the shit you were done talking to him about. You shake your head solmenly, your voice starting to waver into anger. "Alright. Brother. If you are done being all fucking high and mighty like you ain't just another worm squirming in the dirt, trying to convince everyone you're fucking something you ain't, guess we're gonna go ahead and get your punishment all nice and done with."

You nod at the two behind Eridan to follow you, pushing past the crowd of four more you brought who follow suit. As they push Eridan along, you talk. "You know brother, I always thought this place was a little too fucking fancy for no fucking operations that meant nothing. No motherfucker lives like a king if he's really fighting for the motherfucking average type of asshole. Should've known from day one your ass was as fake as it was cold."

The party drags Eridan into this new room behind you. It's big, half of it comprised of some reflective metal blinds programmed to open or shut at the click of a button. It was a nice little observation deck, the sort of shit someone only builds to impress guests with a nice fucking view. During the night, shit was probably beautiful. During the day though. A motherfuckers eyes would fry up in here in an instant. You tug a chair away from one of the tables and motion to it. Your followers begin pushing Eridan over to it, trying to get him steated and prepared up all nice like. Tied down to the seat. Eyes pulled open by tape.

While they get to work you lean on your hammer and smile at him. "My brother, though we are gathered here today to punish thee I will let you know, we forgive ya. Me and you. Motherfucking two sides of the same hateful coin motherfucker. You are just fucking straying from that holy light. But I am gonna fucking set your course all up and straight and good, just like a fucking shepard should. It's gonna be a fucking rough lesson. But if your ass is anything. I bet it's a quick learner."

| Eridan Pyrope |

His dissatisfaction is a little victory that doesn't even last nearly long enough, but is enough to warm you up a little, to help your legs feel a little less shaky. No, you're going to take your pride to your grave, no matter how much he tortures you.

Even though you would've very much liked to skip the torture part.

And as you're being more or less dragged (you're trying not to visibly fight against it, even if your feet start prickling again) time feels slow and every possible imaginable scenario rushes through your head. Every possible torture scene appears in front of your eyes, and yet what your mind pieces together as soon as you get to your observation deck isn't nearly as horrifying as this.

You fucking knew this pompous platform was a stupid idea. Curse you for being such a connoisseur that loves to watch landscapes.

Your expression did indeed turn a bit more serious at the painful realisation and the more it hits you that your fears are being confirmed, the more you finally can't stop yourself from shaking. You're done playing it cool, you're done with trying to control yourself. And it keeps hitting you more. And you're getting awfully quiet all of a sudden as Gamzee and his lackeys melt away and all that is left are your memories. And you slowly say goodbye to them.

And of course you wish you had another time. Another time experiencing lush forests to their fullest, being astounded how nature takes back what was stolen from it. Slow and patient and gentle, but never taking a break. You want another time looking up at the nightsky, waiting for a falling star, only to miss it and having to wait again. Watching it being so small and seemingly unimportant from your perspective, while from a different view it's a huge rock burning up before it could hit your planet. Wondering again how a change of perspective not only makes this falling star look like a catastrophe, but also how it can at the same time make your existence and your ambitions seem so minor. You want just one more time at a pond, at a lake, at a sea, at a body of water; realising how new life is sprouting out of nowhere. Feeling like maybe you can make something beautiful out of nothing, just like nature can. You want to read one more good book while background noises fade into a little melody in the back of your head and the rest is just occupied imagining the happenings, making the book come to life inside your mind. Being able to imagine about anything because you have seen so much in your life. You want to look through all the photos you have taken on your travels again and let them take you back to the past. Like travelling through time, just by yourself and only for yourself to enjoy. You want to write one last poem, having the inspiration and drive to write flow through your body again. Staying up long after sunrise to think of a fitting ending for it. Taking energy from nowhere, just for a little written piece of paper no one is going to see eventually.

But most of all you want to see Nepeta one last time. Burn that soft frown into memory, feeling victorious and proud when you can get just a little reaction out of her. You want one more reminder of her face before you forget what she looked like. Just one more time.

But your time is up. Your wishes come too late.

| Gamzee Vantas |

Part of you can tell that it's dawning on him now, more metaphorically than it will be literally in just a second. Makes you all warm and fuzzy to see someone have an ephiany like you did. To see the sad truths and brutal honesties what make up their fucked up sense of life and order thanks to this shitty world you all gotta be a part of. Makes you sad. Makes you sick. Makes you god fucking furious. Your men stand around the room and put on heavily tinted goggles, and you do the same, tugging the thick lenses over your eyes and snapping on the band that quickly gets swallowed up in your unmanaged mane of hair.

In silence you move behind him, dropping your hammer and put your hands on his shoulders, bow your head, shut your eyes, grit your teeth. Through them, you speak. "Brothers and sisters, here today we are going to fucking punish a collaborator with the system. And while we impart the righteous fury what this motherfucker deserves, keep in mind that he can't truly help it. Assholes a slave to his fucking whims, ambitions get him going real fucking hard like. Walking through this valley of ash and death, motherfuckers done let his eyes distract him from the suffering around him by the glittering fools gold what supports the ruin. As we send him off into the dark, so that he may never again behold the fucking righteous light with his own eye, let us PRAY for his very fucking soul."

An overwhelming quiet graces everyone. A few seconds more. Just enough for his eyes to get dry, you think. Just enough for him to need to blink. "Lets send this brother off with a good old fashioned hymn, children. No one should face the fucking radiance of gods light without a lil' pomp and circumstance. Especially not this fucker."

They all nod, and as you move towards the switch for the shutters, you all sing in a low, somber tone. This little light of mine. I'm gonna let it shine. This little light of mine. I'm gonna let it shine. Let it shine. Let it shine. Let it-

You press the button. Blinding light fills the room.

| Eridan Pyrope |

And you see the astounding landscape right in front of you for the last time. And you say goodbye to it. Really, not being able to blink ends up not being that much of a difficulty as you start tearing up; and they roll down your cheeks, bitter and unforgiving. Everything around you gets sucked up with white blinding light, too much for you to hold still. No, you're screaming even, partly out of pain but partly out of sheer frustration and despair. You know it's too late and yet you scream to make it stop, scream for forgiveness, just anything that would make Gamzee reconsider, even if you know he won't. Gamzee is a man who doesn't look back.

And for a while the light doesn't seem to stop until everything gets swallowed by the darkness. Not black darkness, just nothingness. That's when your voice dies down. No more noises anymore, just wide eyes and heavy breathing as more tears run down your face. Everything is lost.

Looks like you'll have to find a way to laugh this off too.

| Gamzee Vantas |

As the flash subsides again quiet rocks the space.

You press the button and the shutters close. You and your crew remove your goggles. You crouch down to get on eye level with your old friend. Not that it much matters anymore. "I hope you fucking learned a lesson here today. I hope you done seen the error of your ways. Cause it's gonna be the only thing you see again, less you go and buy yourself new fancy eyes like the quitter you is."

You reach up and quickly snap the tape off his eyes. Amble over and collect your hammer. Kick his chair over. "Don't you. Ever. Fuck with me again. We are brothers in arms, we gotta trust each other. And you ain't been honest. God hates liars, son."

You nod towards the exit and your followers, well, follow. "See you around, Pyrope. Try not to fuck up again."

| Eridan Pyrope |

You're quiet for the entire time he speaks to you; suddenly out of witty retorts or even anything to say, really. You're not even moving, grown stiff like a statue while your gaze goes into nothingness. Even when he kicks you over there's barely any reaction other than a small gasp when you hit the ground.

It takes a few minutes after they're gone until you realise what happened. And that's when you break apart. You start weeping and yelling in frustration - shouting and screaming until someone finally finds you and thank god it's your most trusted bodyguard Dahmbe. He's the closest thing to a friend you have; he's even like a brother to you. And thank fucking god it's him who enters the room because you wouldn't ever forgive yourself if anybody else saw you like this.

A small pathetic crying ball.

#ooc #((#closed rp #logs #religious themes tw #eye trauma tw #one of these days i'll finally kick off this blog #for real #))

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jfleurcannon · 4 years

Text

oh fuck. a hysterectomy story.

just so i don't have to go through explaining. please visit links and read up if you are interested, i simplified it AF and wiki'd the source, otherwise, this is legit not the place for you. i talk about things, life, whatnot, and my life is fucking bullshit sometimes.

endometriosis

adenomysosis

fibromyalgia - i'm not even gonna get into this one. because, as the doctor who diagnosed me said, 'not many people believe in this one, so maybe don't say that you have it out loud.' but chalk that guy up for chronic musculoskeletal & joint pain in my wrists, arms, shoulders, back, butt, and knees. but 🤫.

i'm sure y'all know wtf depression and anxiety are, i see those #bellletstalk tags. it's been with me for years, since i guess the chronic pain started. i got my period and wondered why the fuck i was the only one who got sick, like sick. fainting, knocking over a mannequin display at the eddie bauer at fairview mall (you're welcome, sisters), passing out at school and having to be carried out by julie (thank you, sister), missing so many activities and things i wanted to do but couldn't. having 'jenn's always sick anyways' thrown in my face by a childhood friend, being made to feel bad about pain and not wanting to be in the mood, having to cancel plans last minute because of pending pain, side effects from meds i'm taking that make me sick, but not quite as sick as the original problem - so i deal. like i deal with it all. [like a warrior. i have held my pain like the damn death star. my uterus is the death star. except that time i carried and birthed a baby, and then it was fucking AWESOME!] typically it's bottom shelf paper bag internalized. and for years my solution was to therapy it out, or shove the feels down hard so i developed massive GI issues, or maybe that is the endo, who the fuck knows. fast forward years of therapy and a shit ton of medication and three suicide attempts, the final one being in 2007. i was hospitalized for the final attempt at sunnybrook's mental health ward. the F ward, i shit you not. i felt like girl intrurrupted, but there was no winona or angelina. there was a pam and a joan. no padded room, but i couldn't leave to go outside for the first week. that was fucked up.

pain is pain, and although i am a fan of ja-rule, pain has never equaled love to me. it has only left me with an overwhelming hate for parts of my life, that were always plagued by illness, pain, and brewing depressive state. i would get sick for long, long periods of time and there would be no reason for it. had i known then what i had (endo, adeno, fibro, MFGT's) it would have made sense. two of the three are auto-immune diseases. i get a cold, and i really get it. i lose my voice, and it's gone for months.

the only fast thing i've done is labour and delivery. it might seem strange to put the birth of my child in the pain category, however the story will explain why in a mo. i arrived at the hospital at 10am at 2cm dilated, upon exam by a nurse i pushed and my water broke, i was put in a wheelchair and brought to wait for a L&D room, outside the exam room and in the tiny hallway, there my insides tore open, quite literally, nerve damage, and rapid labour. i screamed and screamed and was told to wait while they got things ready. i mean. i thought i was dying. why was this happening so fast? my husband came back up as i was being brought into the room (i think, some details are fuzzy). i was examined by a doctor and was at 10cm. it hadn't been more than 10 minutes since i had arrived. i remember things moving too quickly for me and i was very panicked that something was wrong. i remember being told the boy's heartbeat was becoming compromised and we needed to get him out. options included a C-section, forceps, or the vacuum. all terrified me as i literally was without ANY pain management. we opted for the vacuum and they offered me laughing gas as a super sad knife-in-the-back compromise. i took it, but the hell? AT THAT VERY MOMENT I WANTED THE SWEET, SWEET NECTAR OF THE ALL POWERFUL EPIDURAL! four pushes with the vacuum on and the boy was born, at 10:35am. in 35 minutes i arrived at the hospital had my baby, like whatevs, and held him while being stitched up. naturally there were stitches. i can't even with that pain. OMG. people say you won't remember the labour pain and that 'it'll just go away when you see your perfect baby', you know what? they lied to your face, or they had an epidural, or they didn't experience rapid labour. 2-10 in 5 minutes. they did not teach me that in L&D class. i wanted ice chips, and the tub, and the playlist of music, and maybe a pelvic roll or two on the ball, but no, miles wanted his entrance to be dramatic and fast and it was nothing less than that.

any and all of the things i've battled have stayed with me like wearing a cloak, all day everyday i feel pain, whether it's physical, mental, emotional, or otherwise, i feel it. i can't see it but i fucking feel it. with diagnosis always come the waiting game of endless specialists, tests, interventions by way of oral medication, physical therapy, walking epidurals, suppositories in my ass or vag, chiropractor visits, along with visits to acupuncture, massage, GP, GYNE, and psychologists.

after a thirty year battle, and almost one year of keeping this in my drafts folder, i finally have felt an end to my endometriosis and adenomyosis pain. a hysterectomy and final excision of endo from nerve clusters fused together because of it, i can breathe. i can breathe clearly and without a constant fear of nausea, hot flashes, bizarre mood swings because of the menopausal state the IUD was causing, and chronic pelvic/back/low abdomen/bowel pain. i still have a 44 year old body and permanent nerve damage from rapid labour and negligence from a past surgeon, but holy hot hell it's nice to not want to punch people in the face for asking you how you feel. i know that's not a normal reaction to that question. i get that. however, as someone who has suffered from chronic pain her whole adult life, it is the hardest question to answer honestly. how you feel sometimes is like shit, or crap, or a god damn mess, or you just don't want to talk, especially to that person but you can't say it. so you answer, 'fine', 'great', or 'living the dream'. is the honest answer the best answer? it may not be, but it's the one with the least amount of follow up questions or lengthy conversation to follow. i love things, and flowers, and coffee, and white wine, and my man friend, and my kid, and my family, and a handful of others - but for the most part i would honestly prefer not to talk to anyone about anything. it's all the same conversation anyway. and i'm tired. tired of listening. tired of talking/hearing my own voice. tired of noise. in need of quiet and calm. my one year surgery anniversary is coming up and i'm looking forward to it. i have never looked forward to a post surgery anything because those have always led to more surgeries. but the doctor from brazil with the 'small hands' did the job this time. removed the death star and its accompanying bullshit organs (tubes and cervix) and we are good to go now. she works again, without pain 😉

surgeries for endometriosis & adenomyosis

2006 - laser laparoscopic discovery of endo

2009 - stage IV endo excision via laparoscopy

2015 - laser laparoscopic removal of endo & appendectomy

2016 - endo excision via laparoscopy

2019 - full hysterectomy (minus ovaries) and extensive endo excision on nerve clusters fused together

#hysterectomy #endometriosis #adenomyosis #fibromyalgia #depression #anxiety #rapid labour

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bookcoversalt · 7 years

Photo

The first in a page-turning young adult fantasy series perfect for fans of Victoria Aveyard's Red Queen and Sarah J. Maas's Throne of Glass series

Seventeen-year-old Ruby is a fireblood who must hide her powers of heat and flame from the cruel frostblood ruling class that wants to destroy all that are left of her kind. So when her mother is killed for protecting her and rebel frostbloods demand her help to kill their rampaging king, she agrees. But Ruby's powers are unpredictable, and she's not sure she's willing to let the rebels and an infuriating (yet irresistible) young man called Arcus use her as their weapon.

(more on goodreads)

OKAY NOT TO BE, LIKE, A CONSPIRACY THEORIST ABOUT THIS, BUT THE COVER OF FROST BLOOD WAS ABSOLUTELY CHANGED TO MIMIC RED QUEEN FOR MARKETING REASONS FAIRLY CLOSE TO RELEASE DATE AND IT’S SKEEVY AF NOT TO MENTION A RLY BAD DESIGN

ALSO THEY ACCIDENTALLY RIPPED OFF ACOTAR AND HAD TO PRETEND LIKE THEY DIDN’T LMAO

Figure 1, on the left, was the ARC edition of FB. It’s nice. I like it. the ice texture is interesting, the blood/ icicle combo is really well rendered and a creative, thematically appropriate way to imply the brutality and conflict of the content, and it’s well balanced, no two elements competing for attention. It feels cold without fucking stamping snowflakes on everything.

(Figure 3, on the far right, is the UK edition. it is innocent of drama and guilty of being the most boring cover I’ve ever seen in my entire life, and that’s all there really is to say about it.)

But Figure 2, the middle image, the cover that��s on Amazon and Goodreads and the author’s website, the actual real cover of the book that came out yesterday, is Bad, and why on earth would they redesign their totally serviceable, already in print cover?

“The first in a page-turning young adult fantasy series perfect for fans of Victoria Aveyard's Red Queen and Sarah J. Maas's Throne of Glass series”

To appeal more aggressively to fans of their comp, maybe? To the extent that the new cover mimics red queen’s DRAMATIC BLEEDY THING + ALL CAPS + PALE BLUE BACKGROUND + #DRAMATIC TAGLINE formula exactly?

By the by, if that font looks familiar, it’s because it’s the key typeface of one of their market competitors, slightly edited (and vertically stretched slightly, which, lmao):

I initially assumed this was another choice to rip off one of their comps, since Maas wrote both Throne of Glass and ACOTAR, but it’s actually much more noticeable in the original ARC cover:

(yes i went and made a DOCUMENT OF COMPARISON because that’s how strongly I feel about this.) (“what’s wrong with you that you notice these things” THIS IS LITERALLY MY DEGREE LEAVE ME ALONE)

they get rid of the telltale angled bottoms of the letterforms and add those.... things... to some of the letters, so my guess is that they realized they’d fucked up by accidentally sharing a font with a much more popular series and tried to cover their asses by obscuring it without a total redesign bc time and budget. And they came out with kind of an ugly, blocky ass title with “whimsical” flourishes that only half-work. Awesome!! Hire a designer (me) who knows the fucking market next time!!!!

But anyway, putting the cover next to red queen (which i think is a stellar cover) aggressively highlights its problems. Compared to RQ and its own ARC, the blood looks like plastic. The texture is still okay but more ambiguous, less ice than.... something..... cold...ish. But the main problem is how hopelessly unbalanced it is; the type is heavy, the Swirly Thing is a weird shape and sort of... equally heavy? That tagline is wayyyy too big, and WORST OF ALL, THE THING THAT IS GIVING ME HIVES, is that the tagline, Swirly Thing, and the title type are all basically TOUCHING EACH OTHER OH MY GOD JUST NUDGE THEM DOWN A LITTLE BIT AND I WOULD BE SO MUCH COOLER WITH THIS. SPACING IS OUR FRIEND.

And what the fuck is the Swirly Thing? The crown in red queen, and what it symbolizes (and the totally genius fact that it’s upside down, indicating subversion, rebellion, All Is Not Well, The World Turned Upside Down etc) is a driving element of the whole book. The swirly thing might be something of significance in Frost Blood, I’ll give it some kind of doubt-benefit, but even so it’s not a Symbol that means something to anyone randomly picking up the book. Swirly Thing is bad!!! it’s just a bad choice!! And it’s killing me because the ARC cover was FINE!!! GOOD, EVEN!!!! ARGH

Red Queen’s cover is subtle, perfectly balanced, and symbolically clear, simultaneously clean and classic and surprising. The cover of Frost Blood is none of those things, and I feel bad for whatever designer was forced to mutilate their perfectly nice design to suit the whims of marketing.

I’m gonna leave you with the comparison image again, and an invitation to consider how much more graceful the blood drips are on red queen’s cover! Negative space is also our friend :)))

#red queen #acotar #frost blood #booklr #ya #wow this post made me feel like a damn detective that was intense

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tellywoodtrash · 7 years

Text

ishqbaaz lb: 2 - 6th january

i thought i’d be all caught up and back on schedule by now, but somehow i find myself behind by more than a week’s worth of episodes again. oh well.

maybe this week’s my week. in the mean time, here’s the second installation of liveblogs.

2nd january

preview: whut the whut???? is shivaay drunk again? is he dreaming this? is anika dreaming this? am *I* dreaming this???? 😯😯😯

lmao these three sisters are rudra's nightmare come alive; the bhaabi he never wanted, HIS FATHER'S MISTRESS, and the cult leader who kidnapped him. 😂😂😂

this bloody house and family is so fucking big, they should implement whatever technology uber implements in its cars, to keep track of what family member is where. 😒😒😒

rudra's denim shirt/trackpants outfit is pushing the limit on "athleisure" methinks. 😕😕😕

GOD DADI YOU AND YOUR SCREECHING. JUST... SHUSH.

they should really get someone else to dub for the dadi actress, coz her voice. lord above. 😬😬😬

oh no shivaay thinks anika's playing. 😟😟😟

dadi looks downright horrified at the thought. dadi, it's ok. it's how billu and biwi do foreplay. stay out of their sex life. 🙄🙄🙄

lololololol the fridge is about to start ringing. 😂😂😂

give it up tia. you're not gonna win. 🙄🙄🙄

FIGURE IT OUT FASTER YOU FUCKING IDIOTS. 😑😑😑

lmaooooo "bhaabi fridge main kaisi pohunchi???" 😂😂😂

there's a sentence no one ever plans to say in their life. ever. 😂😂😂

PLEASE NOTICE THE FACE OF THE FRIDGE MOVING DUDE. ZERO REACTION. ALL IN A DAY'S WORK FOR HIM. he must move a lot of rich ppl's fridges with bahus in them. 😐😐😐

i was like "ok she's cold but not THAT cold that you need a bonfire in MUMBAI" before i realised tht this was a prinku scene. 😶😶😶

ok, acp is like... RIGHT UP in their damn group now, and no one's like "who's this weird, fully grown man who's appeared out of nowhere and staring intently at one of our friends? 🤔🤔🤔"

what the hell does he even want??? 😒😒😒

yes priyanka, leave the group and isolate yourself, while you're being stalked. that's the smart thing to do right now. for fucks sake, this chick has the survival instincts of a fucking dodo. 😒😒😒

oh great. three MORE rapey boys. just what the show needed. MORE RAPEY BOYS. 😤😤😤

(lemme save you all the trouble of wondering how this is gonna go - acp is gonna save her, she's gonna be indebted, he's gonna be all conflicted coz omg why did i save her i hate her and they'll angstily marry each other and be the most boring-ass couple ever. 🙄🙄🙄)

i need to know what makeup primer/fixing spray anika uses that's waterproof, crying proof, torture (by shivaay + daksh) proof, freeze proof... like... what sorcery is this????? 😯😯😯

ok rudra, if you think of her as your wife, why don't you just ACCEPT it, and TELL HER? why is this plot still where it was 2 months ago????? 😑😑😑

i want sAumya's jammies. they look comfy af. 😊😊😊

oh look. husband was here all along! 😚😚😚

aaaaand he's yelling. ouff. give a girl a second to wake up properly! 😒😒😒

ok relax my man, you're in mumbai, not the north pole, that a hand outside the blanket will make her get the chills. 🙄🙄🙄

aw, he's "snug as a bug in a rug"d her! 😚😚😚

"akduuuu!" 😂😂😂

honestly boys, you can find better porn on the net, you don't have to get your jollies from watching priyanka change into a nightgown ffs. 🙄🙄🙄

romi's outfit is cute af! i want! 😊😊😊

i don't like this new YELLYYYYY svetlana. 😑😑😑

wow ok yeah that plan sounds CLEAR AF, thanks svetlana, for being so precise and detailed. 🙄🙄🙄

A+ eyeliner though. if only you lent that laser focus on explaining the plan. 👌🏽👌🏽👌🏽

oh this... credo, and hand gesture thing is... here to stay? not a one time thing from that reveal scene? 😬😬😬

it's reminding me of a hateful version of the thing the planeteers do to summon captain planet. 😂😂😂

BY YOUR POWERS COMBINED, I AM CAPTAINNNNNN NAFRAT!!!! 😋😋😋

acp is shocked to learn that someone else is moving in on his "make priyanka feel violated with rapey harkatein" niche. THAT'S HIS CURB, DAMMIT, AND HE'LL BE DAMNED IF ANYONE TAKES IT FROM HIM!!!!!!! 😡😡😡

just once in my life, i want someone to be as excited about me as rudra is about anika. 😪😪😪

"aap fridge mein kyun chupi thi? aap waisi hi itni cool ho!" 😂😂😂

dadi: don't do anything that can get you killed, lololol!

seriously, dadi??? is that how you warn someone??? is the actress playing her wrong, or is she being written weird? either way, i can't fucking stand this character since shivaay and anika got married. 😒😒😒

@ ruMya: can you two just bang and get over it? 🙄🙄🙄

"hum risk sirf tabhi lete hai jab humein yakeen hai humaara prince charming humein bachaane aayega."

the day i risk anything in hope of a MAN coming and saving me is the day i die. of disappointment. 😑😑😑

headline of tomorrow's oberoi times: 30+ year old man gets his kicks from eavesdropping on youth and their discourse on romance; forces wife to participate in chichori harkat as a means to feel her up under the stairs.

why's he hugging her to his chesttttt? like cute af and all, but... lol, why? 😂😂😂

aw rudraaaaaa. 💗💗💗

aaaaaaand, there. you had to ruin it. asshole. 😒😒😒

waah, seediyon ke upar bhi romance, neeche bhi romance. 😏😏😏

where's my boy ommmmmmmmm? why isn't HE feeling up a PYT somewhere in the vicinity of this staircase???????? god knows if anyone deserves it the most, it's him! 😐😐😐

play a romantic song from this decade maybe???? 🤔🤔🤔

ok shivaay, she's your wife. you can seduce her in your room, ya'know. 😶😶😶

ok fine, i won't be such a unromantic grouch. carry on. continue fondling your wife under the staircase, like a horny high school kid. 😌😌😌

what do you mean "roka kisne hai?" YOU WERE ON HER LIKE WHITE ON RICE BRUH. pfffffffft. 🙄🙄🙄

the bad dubbing is ruining this scene for meeeeeeee. i'll have to watch it again on mute to get my kicks. 😫😫😫

wow. so this is what it's like when shivaay is romantic. nice. why couldn't you have just persuaded her to marry you her like this?????? 😐😐😐

shivaay, back in his room, googling "help i think i love my wife" and "how to make my wife love me". 😂😂😂

tia's hereeee, looking extremely becoming.😚😚😚

LMAO that HUGE step back he took when she mentioned the baby. 😂😂😂

oh i think tia's in that phase of her pregnancy when women get super horny. 😶😶😶

lol, i've never heard of the word "rest" as a euphemism for an orgasm, but this show has been so ~~~pathbreaking in so many ways so sure, why not? 😕😕😕

*while being seduced* "... i need to finish my emails!" 😂😂😂

lmao what an ISHQBAAZ. truly amazing. dadi, come take a look! 😂😂😂

anika strolling into that room like, BITCH STEP THE FUCK BACK, THIS WORKAHOLIC ROBOT IS MINE!!!!!! 🙃🙃🙃

3rd january

preview: I KNEW THE NEW HUNKY SERVANT WOULD BE SHADY! I KNEWWWWWWWWW IT! 😬😬😬

tiaaaaa was notttttt expecting anika to be so ferocious after being frozen like an bag of peas. 😂😂😂

shivaay's deep resigned sigh + "tia, you brought this on yourself" face lololol 😂😂😂

"nakhre noor jahan ke" hee hee 😂😂😂

"kasam shivaay BABY ki" LMAO 😂😂😂

shivaay's enjoying this smackdown too much lol, he's intervening soooooo reluctantly. 😋😋😋

"ACHAAR KE DAAG KI TARAH DHEET" omfg appropriating this for daily use irl 😂😂😂

might as well hang a sign around shivaay's neck saying "property of anika" 🙃🙃🙃

for that matter, tia's too, coz anika just OWNED HER ASS 😎😎😎

damnnnnnnnnnnnn anika, is this what being cold does to you??? i just get very angry and miserable and eat a lot of carbs. 😐😐😐

lololol the instant disappearance of her giggles. 😋😋😋

patidev is taking full faida of display of haq. 😚😚😚

MAIN ROZ BRUSH KARTI HOON HAHAHAHA 😂😂😂😂😂😂

shivaay's not interested in your dental routine right now anika, he has lurrrrrrrve on his mind! 😚😚😚

(that look he gives her teeth tho, lol) 😂😂😂

it's weird that he's being SO romantic all outta nowhere. with a woman he served divorce papers to THIS MORNING.

(yes, this is the same day. god. i'm exhausted just thinking how long their damn days are. 😫😫😫)

bruh, parde toh bandh kiye hote. the whole house is getting an eyeful of your seduction game. 🙈🙈🙈

which is suddenly A+ btw. looks like googling "how to make my wife love me" gave him some fucking amazing results. 👌🏽👌🏽👌🏽

such cute how they can't control their silly smiles and giggles at each other. adorable idiots. 💗💗💗

lol she literally jumped out the window to get away. 😂😂😂😂😂

relatable af. i woulda done the same. 😶😶😶

yes shivaay, what's happening to you? your constant smiling and being all romantic and shit is freaking meeeeeeee out. 😬😬😬

ouff, from that cuteness to this rapey nonsense. 😒😒😒

LOL ACP'S PUNCH. 😂😂😂

acp toh shivaay ka bhai nikla in phone tod department. 😐😐😐

where the fuck is everyone, did they just leave prinku alone? 😒😒😒

why doesn't the third dude deserve a name? 🤔🤔🤔

TUJHE CHAHTE HAI JAANEMAAANNN. abhishek and sumit have been watching too many b-grade 80's bolly movies. next they'll reply "bhagwan ke liye tujhe chod denge toh hum kya karengee?" 🙄🙄🙄

GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD. honestly, i am so fucking done with this acp and prinku track. i could honestly not give less of a fuck about them. 😑😑😑

yes acp, keep watching as they tear her dori and violate her. best. 😒😒😒

anika, pay attn to hunky servant. he just gave you a clueeeeee. 😐😐😐

anika, you need to get a job. 😗😗😗

pft. acp ki herobaazi. mujhe nahi dekhni. fwd. 😒😒😒

can shivaay enroll prinku in some damn self defense classes ffs???? while he's at it, some personality development classes as well. 🙄🙄🙄

lmaoooooooooo TUM MERE HO. 😂😂😂

what the hell is with this show and songssss from the fucking 90s. can they not afford copyrights to anything newer??

such dramatic dupatta odh-ing was unnecessary. hand it over like a normal dude, bro. 🙄🙄🙄

prinku's feeling the angsty lau feelings right on schedule. 😒😒😒

since when is there this giantasss plate glass window in shivaay's room? 🤔🤔🤔

snort. hunky servant's evil smile. lololol. 😂😂😂

lol what the hell is he doing with the pointer toy i use to irritate my cat? 🤔🤔🤔

what in the world is shivaay wearing? 😟😟😟

lmaooooooooo. the cat toy is being used to melt whatever's holding the glass. 😂😂😂

yeah honestly anika, why do you ask? 😐😐😐

tia speaks the truth. get a job, anika. a hobby maybe. 🙄🙄🙄

like, i love anika and all, but god, i love tia so much more. she's a cold hard bitch who gets hers. 💗💗💗💗💗

or tries very hard, at least.

by this time, you could have run back home to save him by now. 🙄🙄🙄

looking at the angle the glass was falling, he was out of the danger zone. but yeah, the flying shards... oh well. 😐😐😐

TELL ME WE GET SOME AWESOME HURT/COMFORT SHIT OUTTA THIS, WITH ANIKA NURSING HIM BACK TO HEALTH. *smoochy noises* 😚😚😚

4th january

preview: idc what these ppl are yelling about all i care about is that OM IS BACK OM IS BACK OH HAPPY DAY OM IS BACK I FEEL LIKE I HAVE REASON TO LIVE AGAIN MY LONG HAIRED ARTIST BOY IS BACK!!!!! 😇😇😇

ouff, move slower shivaay. 😒😒😒

UM HOW THE FUCK DID THE GLASS JUST SHATTER SPONTANEOUSLY??? WHAT NONSENSE. 😒😒😒

GIRL, HONESTLY IN THIS TIME YOU COULD HAVE RUN THERE. 🙄🙄🙄

pft. he's fiiiiiine. just has some glass in his hair. nothing that tadi waala hair gesture of his won't fix. 😎😎😎

what's om screaming about? boy stand still and smile so i can drink you innnnnnn. 😐😐😐

what logic. there's just one paraaya, compared to allllll these apne. 🙄🙄🙄

tej, again, he's a self made billionaire. he doesn't need your money. 😑😑😑

ouff. men and their egos. 🙄🙄🙄

shivaay's been shook out of his near death experience stupor thanks to all the yelling. ouff, this fucking family. can't you let a man ponder his mortality in peace????? 😒😒😒

rudra, maybe have less selfish reasons... like, something more compelling than a fucking SANDWICH????? 😒😒😒

anika's brain be like OH BETE KIIIIIIIIII 😂😂😂

this should be a rasm for the new bahu too, witnessing the first bullshit fight that occurs in this family on a near-daily basis. 🙄🙄🙄

for once, shivaay's angry grabbing is justified and not icky. 😶😶😶

god stop being such an angsty emo bunny, om. such a drama queen you are. 🙄🙄🙄

ouff this damn new servant. 😑😑😑

yeah we got that, om. give us the REAL REASON. 😒😒😒

ooooh i think tej's trying to marry om off to some richhhhh heiress??? 🤔🤔🤔

CALLED IT!!!!!!

why's pinky making that self righteous face? it's what she was doing to shivaay too. 😶😶😶

arre bas itni si problem? nothing a little google-fu and facebook and instagram stalking can't solve! such baat ka batangad. 🙄🙄🙄

i mean, i gotta agree with tej here, arranged marriage really isn't a revolutionary concept. why's om getting so hyper like a damn white kid who's never heard of the concept? 😐😐😐

um, that's so not the reason to have kids????? 😒😒😒

he wants lurrrrrrrrrrve, tej. he wants LURVE. 😗😗😗

god this fucking murdery servant dude is getting even more footage than OM and it's pissing me offfffff. 😒😒😒

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, i mean if this argument came from anyone other than shivaay. 😂😂😂

to play devil's advocate though, he was in a relationship with tia and THINKS he knows her though. 😕😕😕

lol tej has the same idea as me. 😙😙😙

LMAO OM'S BRAIN LITERALLY SHORTCIRCUITING BEHIND TEJ, I AM LOVING IT LEMME REWIND 😂😂😂

lololololol even better the second time. 😂😂😂

bro, someone explain the structure of the oberoi businesses to me. please. i don't get it. what does shivaay do, what does tej do, how does any of this shit even work????? 😕😕😕

they're really modelled on the ambanis, i guess. 😗😗😗

tej, maybe don't disclose your petty so openly? 😬😬😬

ouff, dadi, why do you even bother? just go back to tirupati or whatever. take om with you. live in peace. 🙄🙄🙄

yeah shakti. just shut up. let a mom defend her son. 😑😑😑

what's wrong with this fucking servant, he's just going around the house tampering with everything shivaay touches. 😦😦😦

ouffffffff, jungle waala chutiyapa abhi tak khatam nahi hua. 😒😒😒

lol that weird scream. 😂😂😂

god, that's one determined rapist, going to attack prinku IN THE MIDDLE of getting his ass kicked. finish him offffff, acp. 😑😑😑

um acp??? large knife being aimed at ya girl... 😕😕😕

of course... of course acp is the one who gets slashed. 🙄🙄🙄

i wanted a shivika hurt/comfort scene. ouff, looks like i'll have to settle for this off brand nonsense instead. 😒😒😒

no? prinku's just letting him walk away? cool. 😗😗😗

ouff tej, you're like a dog with a bone, om don't currrr about your damn business. 😑😑😑

god how many times will we have to watch the same fucking argument between om and tej. i'm so bored. 🙄🙄🙄

ok tej, just stfu. THEY WERE JUST STARTING TO GET ALONG AND BE ALL CUTE AND FLIRTY AND SHIT. WHY YOU GOTTA RUIN ITTTTT????? 😑😑😑

ouff pinkyyyyyyy, shushhhhhhh.

this episode is so fucking boringgggggggggggg. ouff. 😑😑😑

oh no is svetlana back in tej's life now?????? OH NO. 😬😬😬

thank god at least one sister in the kapoor fam has a strong seduction game. watch and learn from di, tia + romi. 😎😎😎

who is svetlanaaaaa gunning for om to marry????? 😐😐😐

OHNOEOHNOEOHNOE 😯😯😯

i have this teeny tiny feeling that maybe om may end up marrying the chaddha girl, through some tej + svetlana dhokebaazi, and he's gonna hate her, but she's gonna turn out to be super nice and shit and worm her way into om's heart. #tellywoodtrashKiBhavishwyawaani 😇😇😇

dadi about to keel over from a heart attack. 😐😐😐

i feel zero sympathy tbh, coz dadi kinda deserves a tiny heart attack from the way she handled the shivaay/anika thing. 😒😒😒

the oberoi kid deserving bachpan-waala slapping is behind you, tej. he's less slap-worthy these days but give it a week or two, he's going to do something to deserve it. 😕😕😕

anika be like lord almighty i miss my bua. she was easier to handle than these ppl. 😮😮😮

calling it already, jhanvi is #bestMom2k17 👸🏽👸🏽👸🏽

good riddance. bye tejjjj.👋🏽👋🏽👋🏽

precap: shit, i thought my "bye tej" straight off dispatched him into the afterlife. 😬😬😬 nope. just some rando chick. om's girl? 🤔🤔🤔

oooh, shivaay making anika some mighty big promises. 😚😚😚

5th january

lol @ tej's hissy fit. 😆😆😆

this servant seems to have a damn phd in killing ppl. 😐😐😐

LMAO, pinky is meeeeeee. 5ever interested in the drama, but super side eye-y of it. lolololol. 😂😂😂

anika, honestly, i mean, i get your urgency, but is this the time? 🤦🏽🤦🏽🤦🏽

gaaadi hai, underwear nahi, that two people can't use one anothers'. just give him the damn keys, driver. 🙄🙄🙄

oh the plan was to kill tej all along? i have no issues with that. carry on, kapoor sisters. 🙃🙃🙃

GOOD LORD. RAPEY DUDES ARE ALSO KAPOOR SHILLS. WHAT NONSENSE. OUFF. 😒😒😒

also how the f did they send the mms to romi when acp smashed the phone last night???? 😑😑😑

anika, girl. you soundin' cray. 😶😶😶

lol the scenery chewing that this servant actor is doing. amaze. 😆��😆

i want jhanvi's earrings. 😊😊😊

svetlana's super nonchalant "what?" at tej's impending death, i love it.

i've changed my mind, i think i love svetlana. i'm modeling my 2017 personality after her. 😍😍😍

tia, stop being such a weak bitch. 😐😐😐

OH NO JUST WHEN I GOT ON #TEAMSVETLANA, she's about to go do some suicidal stunt?!?!!! GODDAMNIT, WHY???? 😩😩😩

tej should have read @phati-sari‘s post on how to deal with failed brakes. 😊😊😊

yeah no one who takes an airbag to the face emerges looking completely fine like that. that shit deploys at like 300 kmph. 😒😒😒

oh shit u ok svetlana???? 😯😯😯

guessing this is svetlana's plan to make her way into the oberoi mansion. please don't let this end up with her marrying om tho. that's just super yucky. 😬😬😬

anika, you need to learn to communicate better. no one would believe what you're saying, the way you're saying it. 🙄🙄🙄

lol “dimaag ki dahi” what an un-shivaay like phrase. 😂😂😂

@ruMya: could you two kids just kiss alreadyyyy? 😐😐😐

ugh acp ka ott filmy dialogue. hope those big words are antiseptic and save you from catching some kinda nasty-ass infection. 🙄🙄🙄

“bohut khoon” my foot. 🙄🙄🙄

"main bura hoon, par gira hua nahi."

LMAO WHAT NONSENSE, HOW IS YOU FORCING HER TO MARRY HER IN ORDER TO TORTURE HER ANY BETTER THAN MAKING THE MMS? IF ANYTHING, IT'S WORSE. 😒😒😒

can you two get off my screen already????? 😑😑😑

thank you.

CAN YOU TWO IDIOTS STOP FIGHTING ABOUT THIS OUT IN THE OPEN LIKE THIS???????????? 🤦🏽🤦🏽🤦🏽

oh boy, om's gonna fuckin' loseeeeee it. 😬😬😬

lol his crossed arms + "both of you shoulda died" expression. 😋😋😋

god tia, TOUGHEN UP. nafratbaaz my ass. 🙄🙄🙄

svetlana doesn't even look thaaat injured tho? like she's just got a few scrapes... 🤔🤔🤔

BREATHE, SVETLANA, I JUST STARTED LIKING YOU!!!! 😩😩😩

why is no one (anika even) noticing tia losing her shit while seeing svetlana like this? 😐😐😐

LMAO TRUST THE OBEROIS TO KEEP THEIR FIRST AID KIT IN AN ORNATE GOLDEN FILGREE EMBOSSED WOODEN BOX. 😂😂😂

loving jhanvi, pinky and om's #idgaf expressions. 🙃🙃🙃

fwding to when svetlana finally wakes the f up, coz we all know she's gonna. 🙄🙄🙄

om asking all the real questions. 🙃🙃🙃

ok that answer doesn't make sense, tej. 🙄🙄🙄

nothing gets me more heart eyed than when om calls ppl out on their shit. 😍😍😍

what “jaan par khel kar”???? she just happened to be in the way with her car, there were zero allusions that she did it intentionally. 🙄🙄🙄

finally, tej lending some credence to anika's story. 😶😶😶

pft, i only watched today's episode for the shivika scene i was promised in yesterday's precap, and instead i had to watch a whole episode of them bickering and have to wait until the next ep. 😒😒😒

6th january

preview: yay, team's all here and on a mission!!!!!! 😊😊😊

lmao the knife still in the tyre. looks like murder servant isn't that smart after all. 😆😆😆

lmaoooooo no pointtttt calling security, come on shivaay. 🙄🙄🙄

sup khanna? new year, new facial hair! 😏😏😏

lol you know khanna is here only to make fanmixes on his otp. i bet he has a thriving youtube channel filled with footage of you two. 😆😆😆

why's he calling tej when he's just indoors???? 🤔🤔🤔

says the person who whatsapps her mom from the next room about how the cat is chewing on my leg. 😶😶😶

um shivaay, please to notice that your wife is currently having a breakdown? 😶😶😶

this moment is coming across as super fake on anika's part. the whole stumbling around and talking to self thing. 🙄🙄🙄

“aap BHI mujhe chod ke chale gaye toh?” awww. baby. *pats her hair*

god shivaay, why is YELLING your go-to for everything? you didn't even try to reason with her normally, before going to yelling. 😒😒😒

bad writing/shitty editing or shitty acting on nakuul's part? 🤔🤔🤔

"main kahin nahi jaunga. na main khud jaunga, na tumhe jaane dunga."

aw. but also, kinda creepy and dakshy-sounding. depends on what mood you're in while watching. 😕😕😕

HUG!!!!! 🤗🤗🤗

oh come on, you could have totally hugggggggged. why's shivaay having sudden commitment-phobia??? 🙄🙄🙄

lol jhanvi, why so obtuse? how can someone so smart, be so fucking stupid? 😑😑😑

LMAO PINKYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY I FUCKING LOVE YOU 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

never let it be said that true love doesn't exist in this show. 👭🏽👭🏽👭🏽 offering to murder your sister-friend's husband's mistress is the GREATEST ACT OF LOVE that has ever been displayed in the 170-odd episodes. 💗💗💗 #female relationships mean everything to me

pinky's disappointment at jhanvi not taking her up on the offer = the best. 😂😂😂

"naagin ko full fats creams ka milks pilaao" amazing. 👌🏽👌🏽👌🏽

also, subtle meta reference at svetlana actress's gig on a naagin show? 🤔🤔🤔

does anika even know the whole deal with svetlana? how????? 🤔🤔🤔

kanji aankhein be shocked at...?

oh. murder servant's game is up. bye boo. it was fun watching ya overact the fuck out of everything for 3 days. 😙😙😙

rudra's brief for this episode: make an exit within 30 seconds of scene and take sumo with him. 😑😑😑

170 episodes too late, but yes, please change the security staff. 🙄🙄🙄

oh god, time for anika to maarofy heavy sanskaari statement about patni protecting pati from blah blah blah. 😑😑😑

my expression, exact same as tia's. 😒😒😒

oh boy, anika's leading tia into a phone throwing type moment. the wily minx. 😬😬😬

ooh, is this the first time tia didn't call shivaay SHIVAAY BABY? 🤔🤔🤔

lol shivaay, not much of a date if she goes alone. 😐😐😐

oh boy shivaay, don't piss tia off. she's gonna ramp up the attempts to murder you. 😬😬😬

i thought she was gonna snap his neck right there and then. 😂😂😂

lololol anika's face. 😂😂😂

methinks the shivaay doth protests too much. 😚😚😚

snorttttttt, idk if she's enjoying this or not, but I CERTAINLY AM ENJOYING THIS. 😂😂😂

nakhra is not a very hard word. neither is noor jahan. are you just stupid, shivaay? 😕😕😕

this is a silly, quite badly written scene, but they're so cute when they're unable to stop grinning around each other. 😘😘😘

tho shivaay is unusally happy for someone who almost got murdered twice today. 😕😕😕

time for oberoi mystery inc. to convene and discuss. 😎😎😎

in the most open, obvious fucking location in the house. amazing. not a single bright crayon in this box. 😒😒😒

^^^^ ACTUAL PICTURE OF THE OBEROI BOX OF CRAYONS. 🙄🙄🙄

when will my om get a girl to walk with, who loves him the way he deserves to be loved? 😞😞😞

"laser". pfffffffft. IT WAS A CAT TOYYYYY COME ON. 🙄🙄🙄

where did all the furniture in this room go? 🤔🤔🤔

lmao AJAY VERMA. might as well be named john smith. 🙄🙄🙄

also, of course he didn't come from the agency you fucking idiots. 😑😑😑

DRAMATIC TADI WAALA POSTURING! 😎😎😎

i'd be downright disappointed with tia if she wasn't eavesdropping rn.

NOOOOOOOOO DON'T LEAVE! LISTEN TO THEM PLANNING WHATEVERRRRRR! FFS TIA, ARE YOU INCAPABLE OF DOING THIS WITHOUT SVETLANA HISSING AT YOU AT ALL TIMES???? 😩😩😩

may i remind you all that they were making out like svetlana was almost in a fucking coma. still, not a single person watching over her to find that tia is visiting her and calling her "di". 🙄🙄🙄

lol svetlana's giant hair eclipsing her head bandage tho. 😂😂😂

i'm bored with this scene so here are the oberois as mystery inc. team members:

anika = velma 🤓🤓🤓 (because orange. and she's ultimately gonna be the one who solves everything.)

shivaay = fred 👦🏽👦🏽👦🏽 (requisite cis male eye candy; mileage may vary depending by case.)

sAumya = daphne 👧🏽👧🏽👧🏽 (occasionally does shit, but mostly here to fulfill the cute quota.)

om = shaggy 🙇🏽🙇🏽🙇🏽 (coz i'm sure 87% of his chill personality comes from the fact that he's 420 blazin' it up in that studio of his.)

rudra = scooby 🐶🐶🐶 (self explanatory.)

I WANT TO BURN EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THESE UGLY FUCKING VESTS THEY PUT ON THIS MAN!!!!!!!!! 😡😡😡

ooooooooh anika sleeps in the room now! progress! 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽

"anika? hi? good morning? 😶😶😶" lol. awwww. 😊😊😊

goddamnit shivaay, why the fuck are you always yelling??? honestly, that too so early in the morning. 😒😒😒

"you sleep like a log." "kaun log?"

snort. 😂😂😂

"dhang ke kapde"? you rather liked this outfit the last time she wore it. couldn't stop feeling her up every two minutes. 😏😏😏

"breakfast banane jaa raha hoon, TUMHARE LIYE."

NOW i'd say my man’s on track to redemption. 😚😚😚

what can i say, i'm a hungry bitch. feed me and i'll be yours forever. i'm very much like a raccoon that way. 😇😇😇

OOOOOOOOH A GIFT. 💖💖💖💖

wait, should i be worried? 😟😟😟

coz y'know, the last time he handed her a gift wrapped box, it had divorce papers. 😕😕😕

OOOH AN IPHONE. ANIKA FINALLY JOINS THE IPHONE FAM.

inaugarate it by dirty facetiming each other. 😏😏😏

sahil is a 7 year old. AT BOARDING SCHOOL. he doesn't need a fucking phone. 🙄🙄🙄

ooooooooh. "pyaar se." girl, watch what you're asking for. you couldn't really handle his pyaar a day back. you jumped out the window coz it was too much. 😋😋😋

goddamnit, this smooth motherf... where's he suddenly getting these moves from???? 😯😯😯

ok it's an iphone. not that there's a lot of variety to CHOOSE from. calm down, shivaay. 😑😑😑

his smiley romantic mood makes me both awwwww, and also be a little freaked out. 😬😬😬

mostly freaked out. i'm really not used to it. i'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop. 😕😕😕

"toh yeh pyaar se tha, ya dobara koshish karoon?"

holy shit. i... uh... 🤐🤐🤐😯😯😯

*loses my damn mind for a second*

ok i’m back... BUT WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH THE SHIVAAY WE KNOW AND LOATHE????? 😮😮😮

GODDAMN HIS SEDUCTION GAME... JUST... NO WORDS. 😶😶😶

i nearly jumped out my damn skin just like anika when he came back.

"phir se blush kar rahi ho."

GET OUTTA HERE, ANIKA AND I CAN'T DEAL WITH ALL THESE FEELZ. JUST GO MAKE THE FOOD. GO. SHOO. 😩😩😩

"yeh blush kya cheez hai???? main kar bhi rahi hoon aur mujhe pata hi nahi hai!" haha awwww 😂😂😂

sAumya looks cuddly af man. i wanttttt a hug from herrrrrr! 🤗🤗🤗

why is she not dancing in her own room tho? 🤔🤔🤔

the fuck is this???? 😒😒😒

ohhhhhhhh, it’s an ad for some shit. fwding. 🙄🙄🙄

also, why is it suddenly night if shivaay just woke anika up? 🤔🤔🤔

bloody hell, what a waste of screen time, this is an extra minute i could have spent staring at om's face. #respectOmkara2k17 😩😩😩😩

#ishqbaaz #ishqbaaaz #ib episode liveblogs #episode liveblogs

15 notes · View notes

izzpeng · 5 years

Text

Unsent Emails

25/08/2016

To: [email protected]

Subject: Surprise bitch, I'm back!

Dear Smithy,

First of all I would like to say, fuck you for telling me I wouldn't get an A* in maths just because I messed around in class too much. Second of all, I would like to thank you for being a fraction of motivation in my math studies. I have to admit, I liked you enough to study 10% harder than I usually do and for that you deserve a blog post dedicated to you, just kidding you worthless piece of shit who wont even dedicate your thoughts to me. But it's too late now, so you're very fortunate for even being mentioned in my oh so popular blog.

Thanks for being a great teacher/supporter/motivator/useless advisor/racist bastard/...friend. See you in the afterlife you dick.

With cold fury,

Izzati Azhan

To: [email protected]

Subject: God Bless the Lopez

Dear Lopezo Mighty,

You don't deserve a 'fuck you' because you knew my potential and only encouraged me day after day, with your sadistic humour and the quiet blazing fire dancing in your eyes which was the only sign that you're actually human. I'd express my gratitude in a 10,000 word essay but I'm sure you'll just read the introduction and conclusion and base my grade off those two paragraphs. But without your life coaching I would not have gotten A*A* for both my Eng Lit and Lang. Dare I say it, thank you for setting us a Date Wiv Des Tinny, those practice papers were torture each week but well worth it in the end. You are my spirit animal in all dimensions, maybe except in Hell where you'd be Satan but...

Stay Healthy Senôr!

With all my love (though you believe it is just another concept of convenience),

Izzati Azhan

To: [email protected]

Subject: bust out the roti, girl its about to get some of this izzatikkamasala

Dear Beenal the Brindian,

I know I know, this time its a fuck me for getting an A and not an A* but Miss I was 3 marks of an A* if that makes you feel any better, it does with me! I actually don't feel that thankful towards you since I do feel I did hm... mostly all the work, I took the exam after all. But an email of gratitude to show manners and my kissing ass abilities can't hurt can it? So terima kasih for all the lessons you spent dramatically telling us your stories, sometimes even twice of the same one, thanks for letting me doodle in class just because you talk a lot of the time and therefore I am allowed to half listen. I wouldn't be the indian food loving person I am today without you, oh and almost forgot... of course thanks for helping me achieve that almost A*! Fuck the examiner for me next time will ya.

With all my beloved assets,

Izzati Azhan

To: [email protected]

Subject: smile at me wit ur eyes, nat yo mouth only

Dear Turquoise Eyes,

I'd like to get to know the 16 yr old you but my chance has passed. Inappropriate flirting aside, guess what sir! I got exactly what I got in the most recent geo mocks 149/180 and I thought the mocks weren't an accurate indication. I'd like to thank you for having beautiful eyes and smiling at me even though on the inside you be like "lol fucktard thats the most incorrect answer ever, like not even close." I enjoyed your classes and you're sometimes funny but not on purpose, more like weird funny yknow? I think you'd like to get credit for my success but honestly i learnt how to answer case studies properly through Ajmal through Mr Cook, so who is really my teacher here? Me. Because I taught myself to sought answers and techniques elsewhere but sure I guess you can have some credit, those eyes deserve at least a generous 5%. lol ok bye tq

With a 9 on the Ritcher Scale,

Izzati Azhan,

You guessed it, the wait is over! #gcseresults2016 was trending on twitter and the sounds of 16yr olds packing their bags, getting ready to get disowned by their parents was the most honest and lit af song this year (after Frank Ocean's Blond of course). I admit its always nerve-wracking receiving results, where a single exam determines your ability to understand (or memorise) a two year course. But I had faith that with my prayers and hard work Allah gave me the results I truly deserved, so presumably my anxiety was on the down low while my trust in God was at sky high.

Alhamdulillah I got 3A's 6A*, I was so confident I would smash an A* with Business and Art but alas the grade boundaries proved me otherwise. With three fucking marks off an A* in Business I was so irritated at which examiner marked my paper, not irritated to risk a request for a remarking though. And Art, I hoped for an A* but instead faced it's less prestigious sibling, an A. I asked around of course, not trying to compare or anything but I just needed to know what the students who I thought was for sure going to get A* actually got, to my delightful (?) surprise they too got an A which led me to believe that scoring an A* in Art is no easy business. Business isn't easy either lmao.

To this, I must admit defeat to my mother. She's been on my back for my choice of Art as an A-level subject saying its hard to score high in Art, but my cocky ass just waved it away and dismissed it altogether. Doubt has risen up in my throat, threatening my artistic capabilities to spill out across the walls of abandoned buildings as grafitti instead of street art. So thats something to think about before Saturday Morning.

UPDATE:

I attended Enrollment day alone, my heart beating, my eyes watering and my mind wandering. I chose to do IB diploma, for many reasons. I am just so drawn to how different it is, I think of all the future local Bruneians who did A-levels asking for the sam scholarship then I imagine the MoE going through the applications like "Great a-levels, a-levels, a-levels Oooo IB whats this?" and I just feel like I would have a standing chance you know? It would also help me to mix around with more international students and prepare for the university life so when I do go to university Insyallah I wont feel vulnerable and small.

But I just feel like my mother is against me taking IB, like she's trying to be supportive by giving a tight smile and grim nods but inside I know she's not convinced and this all happened on the way to the Arts Centre which made me even feel more queasy. My Father on the other hand, gave me a genuine "Go for it" which helped me so much on every level, I just need the motivation, just that little push to help me get going, feed me a trickle more of confidence.

So I had a choice to approach either Duckling or Dickinson on my IB subjects, and okay Dickinson was full okay there was a long queue and I ended up going to Duckling because I really had no choice! hehehhehhehehhe. Anyway I waved the papers in my hand high above to indicate that I was next and he laughed and told me to come and sit, so naturally I did. He took a look at my grades and praised me and then circled my subjects that I intend on studying, giving me advice that I should only need Math Studies seeing as how I'm not thinking of a mathematical kind of career. He then said " blablablabla Youre subjects are a smart choice, I think you're good to go, Welcome to the IB program"

And that was the clarity I was searching for, that little- push.

NOT JUST BCS HE'S HIM BUT BCS I NEEDED TO HEAR IT.

Just before that, Brindian approached me asking me about my business results and encouraging me to take that remark because I was three marks off an A* saying that theres no reason I dont deserve the A*. I was uncertain because sure it makes me feel so fucking good about myself and so very satisfied, but who really needs an A* in GCSE Business to get accepted into a University? So I made a face. The face. and She went "What do you have to lose?" And of course one thing instantly came to mind "Um money?" then she gave me a look. The look. So I said I'll think about it and apparently only 1 or 2 students got A*. The thing is I actually would get it remarked if my Art grade also got bumped up to an A* but I have no idea what Ms Stroud is trying to do by contacting the exam board?

So thats that, she asked me about my ever so popular brother. So I told him oh he did well, she asked about which university and I replied Leicester and I told her that Im actually going off and missing 3 weeks of school. Then she went "oh you know Leicester's my hometown, in what area is he living because Im there in December" and i was like wtf creepy. And she continued saying "Oh Imagine if we just bumped into each other on the streets" and I was going to say something awkward because like what the fuck right? But Mr Duckling was open and ultimately saved me and she gestured me to go ahead.

After that, Mr mcluck approached me well not really, well kind of but it was super fucking awkward because I was waiting for my turn with Mrs Krüger and he was on the table nearby and made eye contact and he smiled and I returned it and i was like fuck am i suppose to go over lmao so i slowly sat down while he came over to me. YAKNOW gotta play hard to get. SO again he asked me are you happy with you results blablablabla were you nervous getting your results so I told him that I wasnt as nervous because other people were like "oh my life is over" and he laughed and blablablabla just mostly nodding and smiling. Then he asked me about my brother's results hi ok 2nd teacher to ask about my brother cool. I gave him a vague oh he did well and told him Leicester University on 18th September and I added that I was actually going to send him off and missing 3 weeks of school. Blablbalbalbalabl then he finally asked about IB saying that oh great choice.

And Wendy told me that at the YC Mcluck was talking about me to wendy asking me what I got and he saying that i Was exceptional kekekekkekekekk fuck man his eyes are so blue, dont think about it dont think about. Did i tell you I had a dream of him as Ben Affleck like wtf, first of all why would I even dream about him, maybe it was because I crossed his mind like just the night before omg. but whatever. Idk that made me feel so good about myself. Then Brindian thought that Fatin was Hana and approached Fatin and Wendy haahhahahahah and somehow started talking about me?? Like boi they both love me so much, I wonder if Lopez or Julibear bear talks about me like that. Sigh imagine

Smithy: Shes a fucking pain in the ass

Lupez: Intelligent fucking pain alright

Smithy and Lupez: But she's our pain in the ass.

OMGGGGGGGGG I loved all my GCSE teachers and classes! like those were the best days of my JIS experience so far. Art was super chill, she let us sing out loud together saying that we were the only class who did that and that she'll miss us :(((((((( Smithy couldnt care less, he just moved on click like that. Anyway, hope everyone got what they expected with their results or better and just remember kids, grades DO define who are and where you'll be in life. lol goodluck fam.

Izzati

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