#maybe even both if im lucky | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

dimiclaudeblaigan · 8 months

Text

uh-oh she's gushing about shinon again and it's super long

So you guys know I love Shinaff. BUT!!! I would like to explain to you part of how that came to be, i.e. how Janaff's supports with Shinon were both different and important!!! In other words, a direct exploration of his development involving laguz and how he's turning out for the better post Janaff A support and RD (and how it makes the most sense to have their A support slotted between the beginning of PoR and the end of RD for a full progression of his development)!

First of all, Shinon only has three supports; so unlike most characters, every line counts and needs to hold more weight to his conversations.

Rolf and Gatrie's supports portray different sides of him: the mentor and the friend. What we see in these supports is stuff we essentially already knew about him, but we're given more depth. The thing to note here is, again, we already knew these things about him. This is the man we started with.

What we don't get in these supports is proper development. Janaff is the only support he has that gives him that. Janaff's supports with him are the only ones that gives him any self reflection and improvement. This isn't necessarily a bad thing for the other supports, but it's more that it props up these ones a little bit more.

Also, when you get to RD, Shinon comes off as though he's already gotten this development. He feels like he's grown as a person. While that makes sense, from a player's perspective, we didn't really see that development in him (like we would have with characters like Ike, Mist, Soren, etc)... unless you supported him with Janaff.

In RD, Shinon has Gatrie and Rolf as bonded by defaults. These are basically internal bonds in RD - ones that aren't needed by supports. You can carry over support data from PoR to RD, and characters will receive a bond with the character they A supported. For some, like Ranulf and Ike, these bonds will be there regardless of if they got an A support.

That means that even without supporting them in PoR, Shinon will bonded to these two by default. Janaff is his only other support, so if they reach an A support and that data is carried over to RD, he now has his full list of supports bonded to him. Mind you, that's a liiittle bit of a big deal (and kinda cool to me!) as nobody else can do that (or almost nobody, since I'm not totally positive what Stefan and Volke's situations are and would have to check on that in my game, as the only other characters with an extremely low amount of supports).

So why do I say that's important? Because the only character he won't have by default as a bond is Janaff. You have to go out of your way to get their support bond (and when I say out of your way, I mean it pretty literally if you don't normally use one or both of them, due to how PoR's support system works). Janaff is the only character Shinon has to build up a bond with from scratch, which is something the player has to decide to do.

Gatrie and Rolf are the base - the bare minimum. It's given to you, no questions asked. Shinon doesn't have to develop as a person to have those bonds. When Janaff arrives in 3-7, if they were A supported in PoR (and your data was carried over), he and Shinon automatically have their bond show up in the bond list on each of their profiles as of the turn Janaff is on the map. This also means they can get a double A support, which is, again, something Shinon has very few options for.

Without Janaff, Shinon doesn't get that extremely direct development. In RD it's assumed all the characters had development of some sort (example, Shinon is much more chilled out and takes a much more active role in watching out for the GMs and making sure they're properly funded). However, with the way Shinon's development toward laguz went, you'd think something must have happened for him to change his mind.

However, it's an uncontestable fact that Ike stated everyone in the GMs decided to stay knowing full well they'd be fighting for the Laguz Alliance:

"I told the others they could leave if they didn’t want to work with laguz, but everybody decided they’d rather stay. Don’t worry about it, Ranulf."

If they didn't want to work with laguz (Shinon and Soren would be the primary candidates he brought this up for), they didn't have to go. They didn't have to take part. They didn't have to be there. Shinon decided to stay despite fully aware they would be the only beorc there. That's development already... but if he supported Janaff, it starts to make more sense and feels like a proper linear path for his development.

"But DCB, he was racist toward Lyre!" Sure! He's not perfect and there's still room for growth. In fact, Shinon started out calling her a sub-human but referred to her as a laguz when Gatrie was the only one left to hear him, so he either:

is trying to keep up appearances in front of laguz he doesn't like, using sub-human to their face but not using that term in private anymore (or to laguz he doesn't hate, i.e. Janaff in their A support where he catches himself about to use that term. Though he wasn't quite ready to say "laguz" yet, he stopped himself from using "you sub-humans" and instead said "you guys").

slipped up in using sub-human (from habit*) and called her a laguz when speaking to Gatrie because he's becoming more used to using that term regularly. That is to say, it's becoming more natural for him to say.

If you got his A support with Janaff, it makes sense that he slips up sometimes still but is trying to speak more properly about laguz. Getting out of old habits is hard. Feeling differently about something you've had a steady mindset for (in his case for 27 years as per his support with Janaff) is hard. There will be slip ups.

*It's possible Shinon uses "sub-human" as an insult aimed at individuals he doesn't like while not meaning it toward others (i.e. he doesn't like Kyza and Lyre). Yes, this is a big flaw! He could very well be using a racist term to express distaste toward someone specific but not mean it toward the whole of laguz. It's still racist and shouldn't be done, but the fact that he turned around and said "laguz" only a couple sentences later (if that) means that something is kicking in and some gears are turning.

Again, if you look at his A support with Janaff, he wasn't even at the point of using "laguz" at all! If you consider their A support part of his linear development, he starts as he is in PoR, supports Janaff and goes through their conversations while seeing laguz differently now, and ultimately ends at respecting Janaff. Despite this, he's not ready to use "laguz" yet because he experiences with laguz to date, prior to Janaff, had all been presumably negative enough for him to develop this racist mindset.

Linearly, that brings us to RD. He's suddenly fine staying with the GMs and fighting a war on behalf of the Laguz Alliance, even when he was directly given an out. Next, we have him refer to a laguz as a laguz - something he wasn't able to do yet in PoR.

Does the linear progression stop there? Not if you supported Janaff! Following those things, again, when Janaff arrives in 3-7, their bond will show up in their profiles. These bonds are separate from RD support bonds in that they're basically saying these characters were bonded before the events of RD and thus have special bonuses near each other, regardless of if you support them in RD.

So where does this lead us? Well, like in PoR, we start to lose focus on the GMs as a whole and only end up with focus on a few of them. Our next line of progression can only come from supports again. These are notable and extremely important if he's supported with a laguz.

If it's Janaff you support him with in RD, he gets one of his standard support quotes in battle. Maybe you're thinking that sounds unimpressive and unimportant... but this means he's responding to Janaff as someone he's familiar with and not treating differently from the others (which is not the case when responding to several others, which I'll get to). Normally you'd expect him to treat a laguz differently, but he speaks with Janaff like he would to any beorc.

It gives off an air of familiarity - like they already know each other, are passed all that nonsense and aren't even thinking about it anymore. This is, of course, the case regardless of if you supported them in PoR (but again, I find their PoR supports to be important in terms of a proper, full linear progression of Shinon's development, which is something not every character actually even gets, i.e. they don't get a fully fleshed out and ongoing development story between both games if they're not a main character).

It's almost like it's considering that you may have gotten their PoR supports. It has to leave it up in the air as to whether or not you did, because it'd be odd if he was suddenly treating Janaff like they weren't as familiar with each other after getting their PoR supports. In other words, by default, their relationship in RD is not as bad as it starts in PoR in their C support. It feels like they've already supported and are closer now to be at this point.

So why is it important that he acts no different with Janaff than anyone else? Because he does act different near laguz kings. He's given special, personalized lines to the laguz kings and refers to them sincerely as laguz. Important to note is that the laguz kings only become playable in part four (Tibarn and Naesala) and Endgame (Caineghis).

These are characters he would have absolutely no chance at having any development with in either game prior (even if you consider time spent in PoR, Tibarn and Naesala are not playable until the final chapter and you can only pick one of them. Caineghis, plain and simple, is not even an option). That means his supports with them are the very beginning of their relationship.

This is by part four. There's been development since part three in his character that we don't see. He's now openly referring to them as only "laguz" (remember, he was back and forth earlier in RD). He treats them with respect.

"But DCB, of course he does! They're kings! They're powerful!" But the Shinon we started out with in PoR wouldn't have cared less. To him back then a sub-human was a sub-human. Even as allies, he wouldn't have respected them (re: his C support with Janaff). Instead, here, in RD with these supports, he can talk with laguz directly, refer to them as such, and give them respect.

He also doesn't start out being intentionally racist toward them. He's at the point, by the time he can support the laguz kings, where he skips right past the active "sub-human" bullshit.

What do I mean by that? Well... I mean with Tibarn, he almost says sub-human but catches himself and doesn't just say "you guys" like he did with Janaff in their A support (which came before his C support with Tibarn if you consider his development linear and including Janaff). He corrects himself, and instead uses "a king" - similar to his "you guys" pull back, but outright referring to him as a king is actually a step above that (and again, this is their C support).

King Tibarn. It seems like a sub-hu– I mean–a king such as yourself can hold your own.

He's learning! He's growing! He's maturing! He's realizing he can get out of that mindset! All his experiences prior to PoR, based on his supports with Janaff, would imply he's only ever known that he has to protect himself against them. He never got to actually meet one. When he did, it was hard to pull himself out of old habits for new experiences. He was trying for Janaff, but he wasn't quite there yet. Here, he does something very similar.

With the other kings, he just outright refers to them as kings with no stumbles.

Hey, Lion King! Of anybody here, it seems like you’d be just fine.

Raven King, you seem all right. No need to be babied, I hope.

Mind you, the latter is pretty standard Shinon in personality. It's unrelated to Naesala being a laguz. However, both are these are completely respectful as a person talking to another person.

For his B supports we have:

I thought you were the all-conquering King Caineghis! And yet, you mess up. Bizarre. You better stay by me.

Hawk King, whew, even you mess up sometimes. Kinda makes me nervous. You better stay by me.

Raven King–your fighting? Not good. Just…stay by me and let me handle this.

Bizarre, he says, that one of the strongest people he knows is having trouble. He's actually surprised. No comment about how sub-humans suck or anything, not here!

Similarly, even Tibarn messes up sometimes. He's surprised. He expects basically perfectly from Tibarn (so this presumes he has positive expectations of him from what he knows of Tibarn).

Naesala's fighting isn't good? Well what does PoR Shinon care! Let him die! But that's not RD Shinon (and remember, these quotes could've been anything else considering he got specifically personalized quotes with these three, and personalized quotes for RD supports are somewhat few and tend to be for specific pairs).

Stay by me, he says! The same things he'll say to anyone! To any beorc and to any laguz. Again, personalized quotes did exist and they were there for certain pairs. Those pairs got special quotes specifically for their relationship). He didn't avoid saying "stay by me" just because they were laguz.

Mind you, his support quotes with these three are much more respectful than usual Shinon. He's very, uh, hilariously Shinon (there is a word for this, however at this time I cannot think of it 😔. I am not thinking of sarcastic, I am thinking of... something else. Granted, these lines are directed to Reyson and Rafiel, who technically can't fight... so I'll give him a break on that one) in most of his quotes, and some don't sound particularly respectful ("Prince ___, it’s really hard to watch you fight. Why don’t you stay by me and let me handle this?").

Now for the A supports (and BOY HOWDY I'M EATIN' GOOD HERE)...

You know, I’m not one for making friends and being nice. But, Caineghis, I gotta say, you are one bad laguz. In a good way! Hang in there.

I gotta admit… I didn’t like you when I first met you. But, Prince ___, I hope you make it through all this. I was wrong about you.

You know, I really don’t care who lives and who dies. But, Hawk King, for a laguz– hey, for anyone–you seem pretty decent. I hope you make it.

You know, I never thought I’d say this, but… King ___, I’m thinkin’ you should live. Don’t ask me why! Just a crazy notion. Maybe I like you?

Not one for making friends and being nice in general, with beorc, but he's befriending a laguz? Well now! What would PoR Shinon pre-Janaff say!

If you need me to explain the lines to Reyson and Rafiel to you, I have no hope for you at this point. If you can't read "I was wrong about you" and understand what that means, you might need to go back to school. In fact you definitely do.

For a laguz - no, scratch that because that doesn't fucking matter anymore - for anyone - you seem pretty decent (<-- this is the way Shinon talks to everyone).

Maybe he likes Naesala? Maybe they're friends? Maybe he just admitted he's fond of a laguz? Maybe he just said he likes a laguz??? Gosh jolly, early PoR Shinon is rolling in his grave!

So uhhh, what does this have to do with Janaff? Well, like I said, I feel like their supports slot perfectly into Shinon's development that's going to exist anyway. It's like the middle part of it that you get to see but also may miss out on. It's like jumping from PoR to RD and wondering what on earth happened in between to bring Shinon to that point... and if you consider his A support with Janaff, it makes sense that that's what happened. It fills that gap, and it also slots in perfectly with where he is in his development as a character between two games.

Timeline:

PoR start - Shinon hates laguz. He seems to hate them for reasons unknown. Greil dies; Shinon leaves. Chapter 18 is reached and Shinon is recruited back into the GMs. Despite that the GMs are now working with the Crimean army which has actively allied itself with the beast and bird tribes, Shinon whatevers his way through that fact and rejoins. He'll tolerate, he guesses. Fam is here.

Cue Janaff supports. New birb, who dis, except he's rude! Yes folks, it was Janaff who was rude first (his lines were also very Janaff... who is very like Shinon, so it makes sense that would get a negative reaction from Shinon even if he was a beorc). Shinon is set off and now thinks he was right to hate laguz. Look at this annoying birb face and his dumb lil hat!!! Better threaten to kill him just to be safe...

B support, they're having a conversation and learning from each other because Janaff came over to apologize. He knows he was in the wrong to nag at Shinon just for being an unfamiliar face. Shinon is still pissy though because it's a goddamn birb with a hat!!! Their conversation is a mix of ugh fuck this annoying guy to actually talking things out... and Shinon admitting why he hates laguz - because he's always needed to protect himself from "those half breeds". Sounds like his only experiences were very negative, so he ends up racist. Well, Janaff was also racist until very recently for similar reasons, and he used to think all beorc liked to kill. He, too, had misconceptions that bred a racist hatred. Now, though, with Shinon talking to him, he's realized he was wrong about beorc and is open to seeing things differently. Shinon backtracks, realizing he's having this conversation with the birb with a hat and wonders why.

A support, they talk more and it's getting better... and Janaff not only admits to relating to Shinon - which is a nice touch because they're two sides of the same coin who are both still very much learning about each other's races - and mind you Janaff was racist at 110 years old so he's been doing this shit for a while! It was because he talked with Shinon and learned more about beorc that, on top of what Ike did for Leanne, he's being more open minded now. Janaff, understanding where Shinon is coming from (ignorance and misconceptions), is much more polite and kind to him. Shinon, in response, backtracks when he almost uses the racist term "sub-human" so as not to offend Janaff, leaves off here respecting him and, when Janaff has to leave because the support is over, calls him back because he wants to hear more about the world from him because Janaff has lived for so much longer. Maybe the birb with the hat isn't so bad at all after all!!

From here the GMs fight with laguz allies until the end of PoR. Two or three years pass idk shit's inconsistent I guess, and we get to RD.

By this point Shinon has already been in an army that allied with and fought alongside laguz, and maybe that's tempered his feelings. When given an out from joining the other GMs in their aiding of the Laguz Alliance, and as the only beorc, he chooses to stay with the group.

At this point he's back and forth with "sub-human" and "laguz". There's definitely improvement, but old habits still get out sometimes. Still though, he's progressed from "you guys" to outright using "laguz".

The laguz kings join in the fight against Ashera. Shinon can support them, getting personalized quotes specifically for them (and for the herons). With Tibarn, he catches himself and corrects what he almost said - something he did once before with Janaff as per this linear timeline. That's the only instance left of a mistake in his wording. By now he's not using "sub-human" at all (B and A support with Tibarn or C-A with Caineghis or Naesala), or he's freely and without stumbling using "laguz" with no "you guys" esque backtrack.

This is obviously only one aspect of Shinon's development, i.e. the development of him growing out of racism similar to Janaff, and there are more aspects to him that did develop and grow throughout both games, but this post was specifically to highlight the importance of having Janaff there as part of his growth. Without it, it's like a blank, empty spot in his development where you don't know how it started happening and to such a degree (how did he go from outright using sub-human to using laguz at all? It feels like there had to be something in the middle of that growth, and without Janaff's supports it's just missing.

With them though, it's quite clear how he reasonably went from sub-human to "you guys" to laguz with some slip ups (ones that he corrects himself with if he actually respects the person, in this case Tibarn. He didn't bother correcting it with Lyre and Kyza because he didn't like them, which again, is still a flaw, but that was prior to his ability to support the laguz kings. It would be more reasonable to say he's starting to grow out of using "sub-human" just to specific people as an insult by this point.

Mans ain't perfect, but he's trying and he's working on it. Why is that without Janaff involved in his development? I 'unno, I guess he just had some random offscreen development between the games. With Janaff though? It actually works, fits and makes sense. It feels like that part of his development is meant to be there, as it compliments his development going forward.

that's it that's all i had to say bye now

#Shinon #there is quoted evidence so nobody can say im just bias and making shit up 😤#anyway he's a multi faceted character AND gets development which FE does NOT usually do for non-main characters!#they especially don't usually get BOTH of those things!#Shinon's extremely lucky in that regard (especially bc not even all of the GMs were given this treatment and good fortune)#It's also very fun seeing Shinon and Janaff develop simultaneously. you get Janaff a SINGLE chapter before you can #get Shinon back (actually use him again) and the very first time you can ever use Janaff is ON the chapter Shinon returns #cooooincidence? maybe but I choose not to think so #Janaff feels so integral in Shinon's character growth in this regard #at this point my brain has cemented their supports as canon #anyway they're a great couple they never kiss and they definitely don't admit to being in love #they think y'all are delulu for thinking they're dating but actually they're the ones who are delulu #i have a do not separate policy for them in part four so shinon always ends up in the hawk army #which rly i don't need to do bc it's not like i need as many shrieks as i end up with #so really janaff doesn't HAVE to be with ulki and tibarn but it feels right #also it's like the one time i have everyone from a respective class type (archer classes) in every army #ALSO also I think it's an interesting situation to have Shinon in the final chapter before endgame 1 #maybe it would be cool to write about someday. him seeing the feral drugged laguz and how nastily mindless/cruel/violent/etc they are #compared to the people he knows and starting to realize this was how he used to see ALL laguz #and now seeing it's only these mindless drugged ones and how the people he knows are nothing like this...

8 notes · View notes

gibbearish · 5 months

Text

so like i want to talk more abt what suicidal means but the problem is "suicidal ideation presents in two general forms, active and passive. the thing most people think of as suicidal is the active version, where the person *actively* desires to be dead and/or is making a plan to get there. the passive form however gets almost no attention in media so many people experiencing it are unaware they are even depressed, much less passively suicidal. some examples: not wanting to experience death but feeling like you wouldn't mind if you didn't wake up tomorrow or just stopped existing; feeling deeply exhausted with just the entire concept of being alive; even feeling like you want to run away, change your name, and start a whole new life; none of these look like suicidal ideation to most people because they don't involve actively doing anything to get from point a to point b, especially the more abstract ones like the start a new life thing - but remember that in order to truly start a whole new life, you have to destroy your current one. it's not suicidal as in wanting to actually DIE die, it's just. wanting something close enough to scratch the itch. but just because you haven't booked the ticket doesn't mean you don't still revisit the 'vacation activities at point b' tab occasionally to daydream, yknow?" is i think very informative and specific, but its also quite long and run on-y so people are v likely to tap out like a third of the way through it, whereas "suicidal doesnt necessarily mean wanting to die" is way shorter and therefore catchier, but is also the kind of nonspecific phrasing that gets you a thousand angry anons about how you said all suicidal people are just pretending they actually want to die or some dumb shit. so it's a fun line to toe

#especially when youre far too lazy to dig up sources however if u google passive suicidal theres a lot of info #pretty front and center altho you will get jumpscared by the size 1000 font suicide hotline number #or maybe you wont but i sure was. why was it so big #in this house we simply post both as part of another hashtag relatable post in the hopes that the two for one bargain #will entice viewers to read the whole thing and go 'wait but /i/ feel like that what do you mean'#and then make a meta joke about it in the tags so the viewers think we're hip and cool #nah but seriously i see ppl not knowing abt this . so much and every time im like !!!!!!! no youre not crazy youre not supposed #to feel like this!!!!#so its one of the things where im like nah idc if im being annoying abt this as long as i hit the one (1) todays lucky 10000 who needs it #this one i dont remember seeing on any articles but id like to propose also that having trouble imagining your future can count too #and like obviously all of these have exceptions right like. ppl can just want to start a whole new life for non suicidal reasons #but if theres a pattern of these things or you find yourself being drawn back to one over and over again thats #when you should start being like ok somethings afoot #like the imagining ur future one you could easily have trouble visualizing things or even just Not Be Especially Imaginative #...or... it could be that deep down you dont feel like you /have/ one so your brain just. steers away from the subject entirely #and ykno. knowing which one it is is usually pretty helpful LOL #anyways. sorry theres no paragraph breaks i could not for the life of me figure out a good spot for them #/suicide #/suicide mention #/suicidal ideation #/depression #/death mention #and of course i think also like a lot of things this is more of a spectrum than a binary like obviously 'run away and #start a new life' is def a bit less active than 'id be ok w it if i didnt wake up tomorrow' but theyre still both on the lassive side #passive*#eugh im rambling now and not even in the slightly contained way the post itself is #im hitting post without rereading for the 40th time otherwise ill remember another tangent so if theres #any errors left my apologies

5 notes · View notes

yrbutchgf · 11 months

Text

damn they weren't kidding those close friendships can fall away and disappear and the people you love can become the people you loved just as quickly as they became the people you love. :(

#in other news waiterguy and i haven't hung out in weeks and the other waiterperson i hung out with with him and i haven't really spoken in #as much time. and the waitress tht dyes my hair and i haven't hung out in like two weeks?#anyway my point is im always losing ❤️!!! HAHA!!!! i miss my friends man :(#i thought we were good still but i feel like i might've just. like. lost them both. i don't know.#maybe im being dramatic and they don't even think about it. he and i were joking around last time we were togetber #it's just. i dunno. it used to be a sure bet with them and nowadays im like... lucky if i see them for a few hours outside of work #and. hang on a second look at this tag that just popped up ->#if i was a star and you were a star we would shine and dance together and have so much fun that the earthlings would study us for ever #help 🥺#anyway im over it im going to bed i miss feeling alive and glowing like a small ball of freshly tempered glass !!!!!!!!!

13 notes · View notes

rosecreates · 4 months

Text

Raven and Astarion are basically just "Charlatan to Charlatan communication" without either realizing it because neither of them are very open about their pasts at first and in the scenario where Astarion enacts his simple plan on Raven he has no idea he is breaking Rule 0: Don't try to con another conman (or conwoman in this case).

Raven knows exactly what he's doing but she just doesn't tell him she knows until later because the game is fun.

Both of them thought this would stay a game but then they both catch feelings lmao. Absolute losers (affectionate).

#{oc ramblings}#{oc: raven}#ive been thinking more about raven with astarion because like i have major astarion brainrot ofc but like #they're real similar in several ways and i initially thought that would be their downfall as a couple but like whilst it still could be #they both are very capable of immense character development that can have it not end badly #raven already has all kinds of seeds for becoming better and i can imagine astarion would like...not intentionally push her toward that but #see he would encourage her to continue being her chaotic neutral self but i dont think he'd stay silent when he realizes shes being abused #like she keeps her past close to her chest and constantly is like 'oh drow society is just like this its fine' but everyone around her def-#is like '...you know that doesnt mean its ok you got treated the way you were treated right???'#raven wasnt sexually abused like astarion. but she did have to claw her way from the bottom to where she is. she knows extremely well she-#got lucky. and shes continued getting lucky. she's had several attempts on her life and she knows her fate is in her adoptive mom's hands #her adoptive mom could throw her out at any time. kill her even. she acts arrogant and full of herself but she knows the fragile-#foundation she stands on as part of house mizzrym. she already has dealt with lots of judgement from others. jealousy from others #her position is unstable and its also why shes real desperate to cling onto it because if she fucks up she's screwed no matter how talented #she may be. and that sort of thing isnt good for her. the constant worry about losing everything she has if she screws up.#she worked her butt off and still works her butt off to stay where she is but it can all not matter if her adoptive mother decides she's-#not worth shit anymore. even if she's killed countless of her adoptive siblings. even if she passed a test of lolth.#though she's also probably looking for a more stable position in drow society which i think her companion quest will feature her-#being offered the chance for a more stable position. im not sure what position. i originally considered the chosen of lolth but eh #maybe lolth tasked her with murdering her adoptive mother (akordia is her name) to overtake her position?#akordia possibly being the like right-hand woman of the current matron mother (her sister). i dunno.#god i wish drow lore was more centralized NBJFGNKBGF #maybe i'll rewrite the position that raven is in again to make it where she just serves house mizzrym #just. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

2 notes · View notes

bluehairedspidey · 7 months

Note

question, if you have 36 cousins are you ok do you always remember all their names/personal details and if so how

great question! i absolutely do NOT remember all of them!

i actually didn't even remember the number right, my mom said she counted 38 (24 on her side, 14 on my dad's side). i only remember all my aunts and uncles because i made a family tree with them in high school that i still use to check lmao (and even then thats just for my aunts and uncles through blood, not their spouses)

i definitely have some relatives i know/remember better than others, but in general i'm just not very close with my extended family ^^; in addition to the fact that i was extremely anxious and avoidant as a kid (and still am as an adult), it also probably didn't help that almost ALL of my cousins are older than me because not only was i the youngest of my siblings (before my half-brother was born), BOTH of my parents were the youngest of THEIR siblings. my dad had five older brothers (and later a younger adopted sister) and my mom has 6 older sisters and one older brother, so some of my cousins were adults before i was even born

but yeah when going to family gatherings, especially once you factor in everyone's spouses and kids, its normal to only vaguely or not at all recognize a good chunk of the people there ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#ask the loser #about me #anonymous #off the top of my head i can MAYBE name like a dozen or so of my cousins???#the ones i know best are a set of six siblings on my mom's side who used to babysit my brother and i sometimes over the summer #and then on my dad's side my one (if not only?) cousin who was actually younger than me who i would play with at family gatherings #cuz he was one of the only ones close to my age growing up #but yeah with the rest im lucky if i can even remember their names tbh #i should try to make a family tree with as many of my relatives as i can. that would be a fucking monster #im not even INCLUDING my step mom's family here cuz i dont know them at ALL #if anyone is curious btw both my parents come from families of catholic farmers lmao

5 notes · View notes

what-are-even-humans · 2 years

Text

So the biggest exam of my semester is in 59 hours and I'm too tired to do any kind of work. Please send help. This is fine.

#sorry for spamming on here but im too tired to care #chronic illness is so funn yall #ive gotten through 66% of my preparations/the curriculum so this is shaping up to be my worst semester result wise ever #which is fine. i mean it is what it is but i had a full on week long break down a year and a half ago for getting a c so this might be fun #gotta love gifted kid syndrome #what do you mean i cant just get straight As now that im only able to do like 25-30 hours work a week and also had major surgery #this semester 😲#i mean itll be fine. unless i have spectacularly bad luck i wont be drawn both in orthopaedic and kbp #and barring that i really probably wont fail or anything #i might even get lucky and get drawn in like SCa and oncology or pain conditions in which case i might even get an a but like...#im probably realistically speaking at like a D. which is fine. its fine. really.#ill just have to get comfortable with the idea and also maybe if im not too sick work some on kbp #orthopaedics can suck my dick honestly. except fractures. fractures can stay theyre alright.#fucking knee and shoulder pathology in orthopaedics however is the fucking worst and i hate the existence of both shoulders and knees wirh #a burning passion atm #he said having been unable to study for like two days and needing a 5 hour lie down after attending a 3 hour seminar earlier in the week #surely that has nothing to do with my current condition #or predicament rather #anyways yeah i love rambling in the tags when im too tired to function properly #not space

42 notes · View notes

1980ssunflower · 1 year

Text

I miss my loves every waking moment. every inch of my body screams for their touch. tonight especially that screaming becomes unbearable

#ot3: ❤rhyme💛easy💙#tape entry circa 1980 #its like my mind feels fuzzy #maybe theyre also thinking of me and missing me rn...#they must be #ik they miss me a lot... i just wish i could see or hear from them again #its always comforting when i somehow can get a message from them even when its rare #id really like to hear from min...#god... i love and miss them sm...#i hate how just thinking abt it makes me want to cry #i should go to bed #hopefully ill have good dreams... maybe even dream of being w them both #if im lucky #sorry for being dramatic but i just miss them a lot... i mean thats always the case but it gets to me #i just want to see their smiles... hold their hands in mine #make them laugh... wrap my arms around them and breathe in their scent...#just being able to feel them here w me... itd mean everything to me

3 notes · View notes

lorephobic · 1 year

Text

happy new year :-)

#i dont want to make a big long post because the idea of @ing u all makes me rly nervous #but if ur reading this at all thank u for making 2022 so baller for me #genuinely it was a rly good year for me both irl and online and u guys were a part of that!!#very very grateful that i got into this corner of the hc fandom #very grateful for peter cora and rio for getting me into this nightmare and even more grateful for everyone ive met along the way #idk if its weird to mention mutuals if we dont actively talk to one another but im particularly thankful for #joey for making me laugh and for skizzposting unabashedly #clay for keeping me (in)sane during double life #honey for. every single thing u have ever created. uve done so much for this community and for me personally SKDHDHKFG #august for actually probably radicalizing me with the scardubs agenda #creati for being my crafting buddy #and also grace and sadie who need no description #u two are so dear to me its weird to even put u on here LOL #thank u for letting me crash at ur places for concerts and also for being a part of this fandom I GUESS #this is rambly already but i do want to say that i hate like. assuming my significance in other ppls lives #which is 100% why i didnt @ ppl in this #bc im sure theres ppl i mentioned in these tags who maybe dont even recognize me a little bit #which is ok!!#if i am a speck of dust in ur life then i am lucky to have been a speck of dust ykwim #in a world so big it is amazing that i found so many ppl who impacted me here on the silly blue website #ok if uve read this far i love u <3 #i hope this year is gentle to u i hope u find peace i hope u get rest and i hope u laugh a lot #<333

6 notes · View notes

switchytransboy · 2 years

Note

I was just wondering with having your partner, what your boundaries here are? Before messaging you I wanted to ask (if I don’t chicken out of it because you seem so cool djdkfkdfm)

haha noooo don’t chicken out! i don’t bite…. at first.

but really haha okay, so my boundaries are pretty straight forward.

My heart belongs to my partner, but we are a little poly when it comes to flirting/tickling/teasing play. Anything non-sexual (also meaning there is NO tickling of nsfw spots), clothes covering the nsfw spots (shirtless individuals and sports bra’s/binders/trans tape without a shirt are okay!), and no feelings attached is how I roll. Platonic platonic platonic!

Basically, I am not looking for romance or anything sexual. Just some cool pals and if we vibe enough to feel comfy teasing and tickling, awesome! But if not and we just pals and mutuals who talk/tease/flirt sometimes, awesome! I have had friends in both categories and loved them all.

Im just here to vibe and anyone who wants to vibe w me can stick around (:

#boundaries post #im pretty chill #respect me and my partner and you will be respected as well #maybe even ganged up on and tickled by us BOTH if you’re lucky #just sayin #(;

2 notes · View notes

drysauce · 2 years

Note

Just saw the Heizou idle post and I'm cryingggggg I loved him but now MORE aldhaksh

yes yes yes, same!! he looks so squishy and adorable hsnsbbs waiting half a year for his release was totally worth it

#ask #i decided that im gonna main him even before the most popular fan design was created nshxbsb #and now im SO HYPED #ive already started farming the ruin chasm worm and tomorrow im gonna start farming talent scrolls too!#the biggest issue is that i dont have any good catalyst weapons because gacha hates me </3 #but maybe i'll finally get a widsith when i'll be pulling for him! considering the fact that im going for both kazuha and yoimiya i should #be able to get quite a few cons if i happen to be lucky #also pspsps do u play genshin on eu by any chance? if yes then wanna add each other? 👉👈

4 notes · View notes

aro-aizawa · 2 years

Text

hhhhh i am forcing myself to stop. i am going to be normal and not stay awake and binge the rest of rwby. i am not going to look at spoilers. i am going to stay in this little corner of ignorance and v much hope that i can get my brain to stop thinking abt rwby long enough for me to sleep tonight.

#shut up danni #im trying to get my mind off it by reading unrelated fanfic but its not quite working so far #i have eaten tho so at least there’s that #i’ve been SO LUCKY that i haven’t seen many if not any spoilers for rwby so far #the only one i saw was (SPOILER)………..that penny was alive? and that was p much it #the only one i sought out myself was the status of neo bc i have not and will not adore a villain more than i do her #i don’t think i can explain exactly why i love her but i just do #i don’t care if she doesn’t ever get any depth or motivations to her #so as you can imagine when she showed up again i DEFINITELY lost my mind #the amount of sass that can be packed into a mute tiny woman is extraordinary #also im LOVING the bumblebee we’ve been getting #that was another thing i maybe saw hints of and im glad that it’s a thing #they have such a cute chemistry and i don’t usually polyship but yang blake and sun? yeah they work #please do not spoil this for me (i say this to tumblr and also @ myself)#the last time i was this in the dark abt what’s coming up i was literally watching every new episode in volume 2 #its v fun #i think what’s even more fun tho is identifying new voice actors they pulled into this #it’s crazy to think they have so many big name voice actors in this #and it’s crazy to compare the two but man the dragon prince can’t hold a candle to rwby #they both have the same kind of vibe to me because they have similar styles and kinda magic premises #also their first season of both were kinda janky animation wise #anyways v much wild to see how far they’ve come

4 notes · View notes

neo-nomatrix · 4 months

Text

Sunshine and Midnight Rain

Luke Castellan x Apollo kid!Reader

word count: 851

summary: Luke castellan and the daughter of apollos love story

a/n: “remember who the enemy is” IM TRYING

Luke Castellan held your heart since the day you met, and you held his.

You arrived at camp a few months after Luke. You were one of the lucky ones, claimed within an hour of being there. Your godly father is Apollo, god of poetry, the sun, music, narcissism, idiocy, stupidity, all that. You had assumed the gods would act superior to all, no matter if they were or weren’t. But Apollo was on a completely different level. You didn’t know why he had taken such a liking to you.

“You remind him of himself,” Your half sister, Kayla, had told you, “an archer who never misses, healer who fixes every wound, gifted singer, and somehow picked up the lyre in a day. And yet, you still ask why Apollo loves you the most?”

“I wish he wouldn’t,” you twirl the golden arrow he gifted you.

“y’know, that hermes boy has been staring since the moment you stepped foot here,” she smiles, nodding to the tan boy sitting on a picnic table.

“Great, more attention,” you keep your sights on the boy, lucas? Luca, maybe?

“His name’s luke castellan,” kayla says, ah luke, that’s it.

“He’s handsome,” you say matter of factly.

“Don’t trust those Hermes boys, all they do is lie,” Kayla leans back and rolls her eyes.

“It’s a good thing I play the lyre.”

——————

“You’ve got a great shot,” a deep voice says from behind you.

You’ve been at the range for around an hour, it’s 4:30, you always practice when no one else is around.

“The whole reason why I come out here this early is so i can be alone,” sure, it sounds mean but you swear you’re not trying to be.

“Sorry, once I see you it’s hard to look away,” you’re not looking at him but you can tell me has the biggest smirk on his face.

“Funny,” you tell him bluntly.

You set down your bow, keeping the arrow in your hand, and sit on the nearby grass. He lays down beside you, you follow his lead and put your hands behind your head.

“That arrow, it’s like it’s made of the sun,” He says amazed.

“A gift from dear old dad. No matter how far I shoot it’ll always come back. Supposed to be a sign of his love or something. But I think he just constantly wants me to be annoyed by him,” you inform him possibly too much.

“Most people would be grateful if their godly parent cares that much,” he says.

“It’s different with Apollo, there is no such thing as true altruism with him,” you bite your inner lip.

“I get that, I’m just tryna say- Hermes never showed up for me, and I'd kill to just have him tell me he cares,” His eyes furrow.

“Guess we both have different priorities,” you smile.

“Opposites work best don’t they?” He smiles back.

“Isn’t it opposites attract?” You wonder.

“Hey, your words, not mine,” he laughs.

“That one’s Orion,” You point up at the constellation.

“He was always my favorite,” he adds.

“Mine has always been Cassiopeia, but you can never see her over here,” You look back up at the sky.

“That one’s Taurus, and then Sirius below, and Gemini above,” you point each of them out.

Even though he hums in acknowledgment his eyes are locked on you.

“You’re staring, again” You mention.

“I told you I can’t help it, especially when you glow like that,” he reaches out and touches your face.

You reach out and grab his hand, running your fingers against his slender digits.

“I’d like to be a constellation when I die, maybe my father will fulfill that wish,” you say to him.

“That’ll be my last wish too, we can lay in the stars together.”

——————

It’s been a day since Percy Jackson came to Camp Half-blood. It just so happens to be your favorite day of the year, capture the flag. You have led the archers on the blue team for years, you’d say you’re doing well for what you’re given. Besides your siblings in Apollo the rest of the kids weren’t as gifted in archery.

As the first conch shell blew you were preparing for your mock-battle. Annabeth in charge of the plan and Percy, Luke with company, and you with the archers. You knew you could, no- would win. The archers took the trees, helping stray company from the skies.

“Today feels like a winning kind of day?” Annabeth asks luke.

“I’ll see you on the other side,” He smiles.

“Luke!” You pull him aside for a moment.

You cup his face the best you can through his armor. “You don’t get hurt okay? I don’t feel like healing anymore wounds from you. Understand?”

“Oh but I love to see you healing” he holds your hand and smirks

“Archers! Move out!” You call your team, eyes still locked with his, smiling.

“so… you and her?” Percy asks the taller boy.

“how could I not? She's perfect. I mean, I genuinely believe I could live without the sun if I just had her.”

And maybe, just maybe, he could.

#luke castellan #luke castellan x reader #luke castellan x you #percy jackon and the olympians #percy jackson #pjo #pjo series #percy jackson x reader #percy jackson x you #percy jackson x y/n #pjo x reader #pjo x you

6K notes · View notes

tea-drops · 11 months

Text

life is fucking agony why the hell am I still in this god forsaken house.

#-william (he/him)#-sam (she/he)#i am trying SO hard to get a full time job to escape this place.#that and PIP for my diagnosed disabilities.#but fuck me its so difficult to do anything #especially as we're become more of a recluse #and yeah i know like- some of us need to try and stop that #but its so hard when all jobs require a fucking lick of experience beforehand #my friend's fucking LUCKY her grandparent got her a job at the bakery she works at #with zero work experience- he should NOT be working in the placement he fucking is without the training I've got.#Maybe its different in canada though. maybe they just let anyone do crap over there #fuck if i know crap though.#anyway im fucking suffering. breakfast in half an hourish will be my only saving grace.#something we both like. Theo too (<- the fucker that chose our meal)#I know that I (sam) would of not even hadd this garbage. egg on toast my beloved <3333 #and that Will. Idk his trash taste in food. he's telling me to write grilled cheese though #(<- never fucking eaten that shit)#apparently we have actually #huh #neway tags are getting long will get cut off.

0 notes

chaepink · 5 months

Note

can u make headcannons on sub!yan’s tendencies in the relationship?

also can i be 🉑 or 🌝 anon?

dating sub!yandere boys hcs ♡

sub!yandere boys when they date you.

wc: 1.1k+ words | masterlist

dom!fem!reader, unhealthy relationship, mention of killing/murder, both sfw and nsfw!, mention of feminization, bondage

note: yes you can be 🌝 anon!

— your yandere would be possessive of you, even more compared to when you two were just friends

— well, you thought you two were just friends. he already assumed you two were together sometime earlier during his friendship with you

— he would do anything for you in order to make sure you're happy and safe

— a friend of yours is getting too touchy with you? well the next day that friend is ignoring you and when you confront them, they look at you scared and quickly scurry away from you. did your yandere do something to them? surely not

— a weird guy keeps following you around your neighborhood? well a couple of days later you see on the news that his body has been found near a river and weirdly enough, you havent seen your yandere on the days before the guy's death

— you complain to your yandere about how a teacher gave you a bad grade on something you worked so hard on? suddenly your grade changes to a A and that same exact teacher suddenly resigns from the school

— he'll try his best to know where you are most of the time and try to follow you back home to make sure you're safe (though its really obvious, you don't acknowledge him so he thinks he's actually doing something)

— but no matter how scary and possessive they are of you, they just want to be good for you, really

— its almost as if they're a puppy for you, always there for your beck and call

— give them a simple command and they'll do it immediately, no questions asked

— ask them to buy you a snack from the nearest store? he'll return back with a bagful of others that he thought you would like

— they're super clingy and always want to be near you

— somehow they manage to have the same exact classes that you have and at the same time. maybe you guys are just lucky? little do you know that your yandere hacked into the principal's computer to change his schedule to fit with yours

— if you're sick, they would immediately fetch you some medicine and make so many bowls of your favorite soup that you're not sure you could finish them all

— they would be so sad when you're sick cause that means they can't be as close as they usually are with you :(

— in bed, nothing changes at all. rather, he becomes even more infatuated with you

— they're still so good and obedient for you, always following your commands. its cute

— like what i said with him doing it with no hesitation, your yandere is eager to do what you say

— tell him to get on his knees? say less as he's already doing so, staring up at you with such innocent eyes

— tell him to open his mouth for you to stick your fingers inside? he opens wide and sticks out his tongue in such a sinful manner, hazy eyes absolutely begging you to make him choke on your fingers as drool drips down his chin

— order him to suck your strap and get it all wet? he's quick to get in between your legs and get his hands on the fake dick, his mouth going straight to bobbing it up and down and gagging as it hits the back of his throat. he'll try to subtly grind his hard on against your foot without you noticing but you do anyways but he's being a good boy so you allow it

— and oh my god is he so shameless in public

— no hesitation in telling you what he wants you to do to him when there are people around

— you'll be at brunch with some of your friends and suddenly you'll feel a hot breath on your ear, such sinful words coming soon after

"im wearing lingerie under my clothes, your favorite set too. wouldn't you like to just ruin me right here and now? make me cry and look so pretty while you show everyone im yours?"

— safe to say that you immediately dragged him to the family bathroom and fingered him until he was gripping onto you for dear life, begging and crying out for you to stop and take pity on him (he's lying about wanting you to stop)

— when you're out with errands or just at work, he'll take such sinful pictures of himself to send to you randomly

— the pictures would include his legs spread out, a obvious bulge in his underwear, and something adorning his body whether its lingerie, a maid outfit, or rope that's tied so tightly on him

— if he's feeling like teasing you even more, he'll send whimpering audios that beg you to come home and fuck him and if you listen close enough, you'll hear some wet noises that let you know that he's masturbating

"f-fuck, [name] come back s-soon, please? i-i miss you so much! i- ah! i-im wearing your favorite outfit right now! i'll be a g-good ngh boy waiting for you ♡"

— itll end up with you rushing home after you're finished to fuck him dumb in that outfit, making it stained with his tears and cum

— he knows you can't really get him pregnant but your yandere just loves those straps with cum in them that you can just shoot inside him whenever you're fucking him fast and rough

— that'll make his eyes roll back and head throw backwards as he lets out such a loud mewl at the feeling of your fake cum filling him up

— and afterwards he'll tease you by using his fingers to push the cum thats gushing out of his hole back in before licking his fingers

— although your yandere is a good boy for you most of the time, theres times where he's a brat

— he'll talk back to you whenever you command him to do something or cum without permission

— but just some long edging or overstimulation will break him and turn him into a sobbing mess

— tying his hands to the headboard and keeping his legs spread apart whilst a vibrator is inside him on the highest setting is his favorite punishment

— your yandere thinks you don't know that since you do it all the time but you actually do know it, you just love the way his face is stained with his drool and tears while his chest and the sheets underneath him is covered in his cum afterwards

— such a slut but we love him for it

ty for reading to the end! ❤ - chaepink

╰┈➤ masterlist | rules

8K notes · View notes