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#master teacher
neotaissong · 1 month
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"And I think its a really fearful time for young writers with a bellyful of fire. It's a fearful time cos if you listen to the voices (the market forces, the distractions) you're not going to get fire out of you, you're going to get water out of you. But for godssake, I want you to get fire out of you and that's why we've been having this conversation, to reawaken the fire, the wonder, the splendour, the misery, the mystery, why is it we write?
We don't write to be polite on the page. We don't write to get nods in the mind. We write to explode the inner rooms of people. So that the rooms in which they read, opens out into the whole world and they feel the radiance touching everybody and they can feel for one moment, that they can be anything or nothing if they chose to be, but just to be hit by that extraordinary vigour and power that a true piece of writing - whether its a sonnet, whether it's a poem of four lines by Rilke, whether it's a short story by your beloved Chekov, whether it's a punch by Toni Morrison or a head-butt by Ralph Ellison, that's what we want. We want the raw, fire.
(Thats what we were trying to contribute to here) you shouldn't pay any attention to the market forces, we should write from our spirits, whether that gets published, I don't know how we break that hegemony, I don't know how we do that. (how do you get a contract? how do you pay your bills? how do you pay your rent? how do you feed your children? - There was a time when writers formed co-operatives and published each others works, that's gone now that's all disappeared) He (Cornel) talks about being a prisoner of hope, me too, as far as literature."
Ben Okri in conversation with Cornell West, University of Cambridge, 2013
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subject-v · 7 months
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First Time
tw: cutting, blood, restraint, manipulation, mind control, cult
2300 words
“Stop, please! Please don’t hurt me!”
“Ah shoot, sorry.” The boy drops his scalpel like it’s gone red hot. It clinks awkwardly onto the linoleum floor next to my leg, catching the light from a nearby rune.
Confused, I blink up at him. I don’t have many other options, in terms of body language, at this point, with my hands chained above me, close enough I can brush my pinkies against one another, and my legs splayed on either side of the new kid, the pants damp with the humidity and my own blood. Nice cell, as far as they go, but the tile floor’s a real germ trap and even after a quick wash the night before, most of my blood is still congealed on my body.
“I-I’m sorry.” He picks up the scalpel with trembling fingers. “I didn’t mean to drop that. Let me try this again.”
He places the tip of the blade against my skin, then holds it there without enough pressure to draw blood while he consults a piece of paper, creased all over from a million folds and written in cramped handwriting. Did he… did he write down what he plans to do to me? What kind of serial sadist is this? “I’m just going to give you a few cuts,” he murmurs, at last leaning onto the blade and carving a line down my arm.
I don’t mind the hot flash of pain—much—but he was so funny the first time so I make my eyes roll back in my head and crack my voice. “P-please!” The sound echoes in the lofty space. 
“I could concentrate better if you didn’t speak.” Another line joins the first. He’s close enough I can lean forward and see the piece of paper that’s so enthralled him, including the shape he’s drawn there: a name, I think, maybe two. That’s hardly unusual. I’ve have names carved into me in writing systems that don’t even exist anymore.
I change tact. “What are you going to do to me?” 
Serial killers, they like that question. Puts you completely in their power, strokes their egos, the whole nine yards. The boy, though, and I can’t imagine he’s over twenty years old, not with hair that floppy and poorly styled, doesn’t react with pleasure or even annoyance that I’ve spoken. Instead, doubt flickers across his face, and then he blushes, a little red to his cheeks that I would’ve missed if the dungeon lights were but a shade dimmer. “I’m going to hurt you a little bit,” he says, tongue between his teeth as he finishes carving his shape into my arm. He’s not practiced at this and the wounds are all different levels of deep.
“Why? I never hurt you.”
“Because I want to.” 
He looks like he’d rather be locked in a room somewhere putting together a two thousand piece jigsaw puzzle but hey, sometimes you’re chained to the dungeon wall, sometimes you’re doing the chaining, it’s all about rolling with the punches. 
He stands, tugging at the chains above me so I’m forced to my feet, leaning heavily when one foot goes completely to sleep. You’d think that would be less painful than the still-bleeding wound on my inner arm, but you’d be wrong. Knives have a beauty to them, a finesse that simple circulation lacks. “Okay.” He says it like he’s psyching himself up. “I’m going to… I’m going to hit you, I think.”
“Are you asking me or telling me?” It just slips out. Look, the first couple sadists leave an impression and after that, I stop grading on a curve. He wants me intimidated, he should be more intimidating.
It irks him, though. He tugs down the bottom of his shirt and straightens. “Yes. I’ll… I’ll beat the backtalk right out of you.” Given it takes him thirty seconds to figure out how to put the brass knuckles on, I don’t exactly have high hopes. Plus, his posture’s all off. After he punches me once and nearly throws himself into the wall, he switches to a cane and sort of whacks at my ankles.
In a better mood, I might try to dodge, but he’s so weak, he’s not going to break anything. “I’m your first, aren’t I?”
“Shut up.” He gets the cane caught between my legs—I swear I wasn’t even trying to get in the way—and drops it. 
“Here I thought I’d be the one kneeling at your feet.” He glares daggers up at me, costing him precious time padding about for his cane. “While you’re down there, you could give the ol’ boots a good lick, eh?” I’m barefoot and wiggle my toes a bit to prove it, but he shoots up like someone fired him out of a canon.
“I will never bow to you.”
I pout. “Whatever you say, big dog.”
The anger makes his beating, if anything, more sporadic. I think the wall’s in more pain than me when, panting, he takes a step back to surveil me. “That felt better, I think. They’re right, it can feel good.”
“Who’s right?”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“If you tell me, I will show you how to use a cane to properly cause someone pain.”
“Like you’d know,” he sneers, mopping sweat off his brow. The cane’s about to fall from his hands unless he takes a rest, I figure, and he concurs, slumping to the floor well out of reach and going for a water bottle. Proper hydration: very important for the enterprising serial sadist. 
Though now that I’m here, I’m beginning to doubt the serial part of that title. So much for ridding the city of its serial killer on the first try, huh? If Archer beats me to a win by going the legal route, I’m going to throw myself into the ocean. 
After a bit of R&R, he’s ready for another go, but it’s cautious interest I see in his eyes. “Well?” he demands, tapping a foot. The arms crossed could be a good look, but he should’ve put the cane down first. “Tell me, then.”
“First tell me who they is.”
His eyes narrow but he’s never taken a negotiation course—such courses generally indicate that the party who is chained to the wall has less bargaining power—because he folds right away. “The other Mu-9s.”
“Is that supposed to mean something?”
“You said you’d teach me.”
“All right, then. You see that table?” I have to nod towards it, my hands being where they are. “It’s for strapping people to.”
“It’s too short.”
“Au contraire. It’s not for waterboarding, it’s for foot torture. Move it over here. Yep, until it’s touching the wall, good. Okay, let’s see if I still have the abs for this.” I clench my fingers around the manacles and haul myself up and sideways, half over the table. He sees what I’m trying to do and helps me the rest of the way, still holding the cane even after it bops him in the forehead. “Now you’d traditionally strap my ankles to the corners.” What a relief, not to have to stand anymore. When I get a choice, I’ll sit through a torture anytime, even if the table feels kind of rickety. As an added bonus, I’ve earned a little slack in the arm chains, so I could feasibly start unlocking them, were I inclined. “The feet have as many nerves as the hands do and unlike other parts of the body, they don’t acclimate to repeated beatings, so the hundredth lash hurts as much as the first. You want to strike closer to the arch than the heels or toes, and at an angle. Yes, hold the cane like that. And then twist all the way around and think about activating your stomach muscles as you-ah! Yeah, like that.”
At my cry, his grip loosens and he almost drops the cane again. This kid, I swear. 
“You need to be careful with foot torture. I can walk on anything that isn’t broken but regular folks, any more than fifty or so and they won’t be able to walk on them. You also always want to-ah, yes. Thank you for that. You want to make sure-ow, see, that was my toe. Do you want to break bones or do you want to cane me? Make up your mind, kid.”
His shoulders are heaving. For a second, I think he’s going to stab me with the blunt end of his cane but he takes a step back and composes himself. “I should know this,” he whispers. “I should understand this.”
I take a stab in the dark. “Is that what they told you?” 
“They said evil people like me, we would like it. They told me… this was what I was made for.”
“You know what that sounds like?”
“No.” He looks up, all curious-like. Maybe twenty was an overly optimistic estimate for age.
“Sounds like someone is trying to mind control you.”
“What?”
“Just in general, if someone is telling you you’re evil, that’s a sign they’re manipulating you.”
“I am evil. I’m a Mu-9.”
“Ri-ight.”
“I-I’m hurting you! I cut my name into your arm!”
I glance at the wound. “Is that what it says? Niklo? Is that your name?”
“It doesn’t matter. Your opinion doesn’t matter.”
“I showed you the foot caning, didn’t I? Tell me about these people.” Since we’re settling down, now, I use the slack in my chains to unscrew the pin holding the manacles around my left wrist in place. Careful practice means I snag it before it can fall open. “They’re not Mu-9s, right?”
He whacks me again, on the knee, which is not how I showed him and doesn’t particularly hurt. 
I make a few educated guesses, based on the size of the dungeon and how often he references a group of people. “You’re not the only or first one they’ve sent here to torture someone, right?”
“You wouldn’t understand.”
“Mu-9s are, what? Some sort of torture school? And they’re letting you practice on the sorts of people no one will miss?” Torture schools are all the same—the grey sisters used to snag orphans and widows to practice on, if the dungeons ever got too empty. 
“We’re evil.”
“Says who?”
His chin is wobbling as he collapses against the wall, fingers loose enough that the cane rolls away and clatters across the floor. “It’s a gene, right? The Mu-9 gene? It makes people sadists, psychopaths.”
We’re about to have a chat, so I stop holding the manacles shut and place my hands in my lap. “Do you know what a gene is?”
“It’s in your DNA.” If he’s noticed I’m no longer tied up quite so well, he doesn’t let on.
“A gene tells your proteins how to-tell you what. You ever folded paper to make an animal?”
Everyone in this city has; the cranes decorate every other street corner.
“A gene is like the instructions to make a paper animal. A single gene can’t make you a psychopath, nor can they create a world with embedded moral laws and a black and white system of ethics.”
“What?”
“‘Evil,’” I scoff. “What’s that mean? Who decides?”
“I guess I don’t know.”
“Exactly. Tell me more about these folks who are mind controlling you.”
“They tested us at school.” His gaze goes up and over my left shoulder. “They took all the Mu-9s away, said since we were evil anyway, we might as well put it to good use. I didn’t kidnap you. I didn’t even want a, you know.”
“I do not.”
“A woman,” he mouths. “I wouldn’t normally hurt a girl.”
I snort. How kind.
“They told me where to find you, gave me this.” He gestures at his bag of pain-inducing equipment. “Said I’d know what to do.”
“So you found a woman tied up in a dungeon and decided to carve your name into her arm?”
“They had us plan it first. The therapists, they ask us again and again. What would you do, if someone was in your power? And whenever I said I’d never hurt them, she says of course I would, I’m evil, what would I do? She wouldn’t stop asking so I made it up, I said I-I’d carve my name into their arm and then I’d beat them and she asked me again and again everyday until I had it memorized, and then she made me write it down…” Futily, he waves the paper in my direction. “Maybe I’ve done this before. I don’t even know.”
“I’m going to hazard a guess that this is, in fact, your first time.”
He starts to cry. You know what’s worse than a proper good caning? When people cry in front of you, and this culture says women are supposed to be all motherly and caring too, so I know he expects me to help him out. 
Sighing, I say, “You’re most likely not evil. You are being mind controlled, though, so I’d recommend doing something about that.”
“I can’t leave. I can’t. They said… they said if I left, the regs would kill me. They can see what I am.”
Fuck me, it’s a cult situation, isn’t it? A torture murder death cult. Just my luck. “Uh huh.” 
“This is the only thing I’m good at,” he whispers, standing again and going for the cane. “If I can’t show them I’m good at this, they’ll make me leave and the regs will burn me alive. I need to be good at this.”
“If—”
“And you,” he snarls, “need to shut up.”
I mime zipping my lips. He realizes, for the first time, that my hands are free. I’d like to say the beating I got in punishment was nice, but it was average at best, and I could’ve done without the angry tirade. He leaves me an hour later, bruised and bleeding, still sitting on that wobbly table, but I see a logo on the wall outside before he shuts the door: SomatiCorp.
Cult victim convinced he needs to become a sadist to survive, windowless dungeon with gross tile floor, and a company name in camel case. 
I can work with that.
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banji-effect · 4 days
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Mary Lee Bendolph, Blocks, Strips, Strings, and Half Squares, 2005
This quilt was inspired by an intaglio print Bendolph created earlier in 2005, titled Mama's Song:
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The print was itself inspired by quilts she had made... an endless cycle of creation ❤️
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roccblacman56 · 10 months
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cadmar · 4 months
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The Bridge
Do you think there is a link, a bridge, from our 3D physical, objective world to the spiritual 4D realm? Have you been on that bridge? Have you crossed over that bridge? Having a belief becomes an obstacle that prevents one from going on that bridge. So, thinking or believing in that bridge also prevents one from going on that bridge. What a quandary!
We live in the 3D world. Our neurons are 3D. Our thoughts are the vibrations of the 3D neurons. Thoughts are then also 3D. Beliefs are thoughts. Beliefs are 3D and being in the 3D then stations you firmly in the 3D world. A 3D creature can not cross that bridge. A 3D creature does not have access to that bridge. A 3D creature is locked in the 3D world.
Our body is a 3D creature. Our essence is not. Our essence is 4D. Once one's 4D essence is awakened, then allow the 4D essence to burn away the 3D chains. This is the 4D fire. The Ancients wrote about the awakening of the spirit and its fire. Fire burns. The spirit automatically burns the non-spiritual, that is, the physical.
Then, that becomes rest.
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pwrn51 · 11 months
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We are responsible for our own happiness
  Dr. Paul L. Hannah,  Author, Writer, Healer, a Board Certified Psychiatrist, Acupuncturist, and Master Teacher. Dr. Hannah discusses  his book, “REMEMBERING QUALITIES OF YOUR SOUL: JOYFULLY, LIVING YOUR GODSELF.” In this Interview, Dr. Hannah discusses how we are all Divine Energy, the importance of our choices and thoughts, why it is important to our health to be our authentic selves, how…
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andi-o-geyser · 1 year
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The 5 Stages of DM Grief
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teacherdespair · 7 months
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Spooky Masters relate.
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brighteuphony · 2 months
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On the way back from Tea Country with Chakra-poisoned Kakashi tryna "casually" fish for some info before Sakura comes in with the one-hit KO on accident.
So she's got some complicated feelings for Kakashi as well, though they're a lot milder than what she feels about Sasuke.
There's a moment in my AU where Sakura goes through a deep reflection ritual, in which she has to face Inner Sakura -who is representative of all the ugly truths her day-to-day self hasn't been able to face- and come to terms with who she is.
During that time, she's got to face the music.
The music:
Sasuke is the last prodigal son of a clan that was brutally butchered. He's a genius with one of the most powerful dojutsu out there (that he has no idea how to use) and is coming in hot with more baggage than an airport terminal.
Naruto is not normal. She doesn't know what he is (as in-canon, she finds out after the time-skip and the Sakura from above is right on the cusp of Shippuden), but there's nothing normal about a kid who can pull wild orange chakra and who can fight Gaara's tailed beast and come out on top. He's got the personal attention of the Hokage, but the entire village has banded against him for some reason. He's special.
Kakashi is a war veteran turned Jounin and an infamous ANBU captain (I headcanon that some ANBU names are leaked specifically to generate a healthy level of fear/caution among other villages- which is why we know of Itachi/Kakashi/Shisui very publically) and is ALSO the last prodigal son of an old noble clan.
(No way a bookworm like Sakura didn't consume every publically available scroll on Konoha clans).
It doesn't take the big brains to figure out that he got team 7 specifically to help deal with Sasuke's trauma/teach him about the Sharingan, and put a leash on Naruto (and in the future, when she finds out that Madara was able to control the Kyuubi with the Sharingan as well as the knowledge that Kakashi was Minato's student it becomes even clearer why he got the Sasuke/Naruto combo.)
And Sakura? Sakura is a civilian. No clan, no dojutsu, nothing to her name except great chakra control. She's the literal meat in the meat-grinder of the military machine of Konoha, the acceptable sacrifice in a group of otherwise invaluable shinobi. She's just a...girl. (And it doesn't help that she was obsessed with Sasuke instead of training, furthering the gulf between her and Kakashi.)
Kakashi was absolutely not built to handle her- in fact, Kakashi has NO idea how to relate who hasn't gone through a mountain's worth of trauma or someone who hasn't been ingrained in the shinobi-as-a-tool lifestyle, and even then, he's not fully equipped to handle people who have (lmao Sasuke). Not to mention the man is a prodigy- he has no idea how to teach people who have to work hard to get somewhere in life. How do you teach someone if you've never had to 'work hard' to get there yourself?
So, Sakura understands that Kakashi was put in one of the most ridiculous situations of his career- a situation he had NO idea how to handle. She can forgive him for that. BUT, she can't forgive him for not trying his best.
Sakura spent a lot of time coming to terms with the fact that she rushed into the Chidori/Rasengan combo without a single idea of what she would do, but...Kakashi was a big reason for that.
She was HIS responsibility, and he fumbled that bag. Whatever his reasoning, whether it was to 'protect' her, or whether he thought she was worthless, whatever: he should have TRIED.
Kakashi was an adult with resources aplenty. He recognized that she had stellar chakra control but never bothered to teach her genjutsu or direct her to teachers who could pick up the slack.
And after the accident, he abandoned her again. Being forgotten in lieu of Sasuke and Naruto hurt...but she could heal. Being abandoned as some kind of martyr to Kakashi's failures as a teacher? It's gonna take a while for Kakashi to make that up to her...if he can muster the courage to face her.
Sakura finally understands why he preferred the memorial stone to the living. He already failed the dead, and it's easier to wallow in self-flagellation than it is to try and step up for the living.
Sakura stopped being a coward some time ago, and when Kakashi finally does the same, she'll forgive him.
Thank you so much for sticking with this wall of text! And thank you so much anon for the question! Once again, I really appreciate all the kind words people have been throwing my way. <3 <3 <3
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neotaissong · 2 months
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Via @zenah.mattar
Ally or liability?
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t-hal-mothman · 1 year
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two years ago, I sketched this on the eve of the new year to wish everyone to be close to those whom you call your family
I was just filled with all kinds of warmth and love, and since the snow is already blowing all over my window, I thought it was time for these old warm sketches
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banji-effect · 15 days
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Thank you for everything ❤️
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netmors · 5 days
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STAR WARS: Eleventh Fleet AU
Hey-hey, I worked, caught a cold, got sick and that’s enough… …so, concept art for the Eleventh Fleet.
Ar'alani and Vah'nya's designs are fairly simple, but the problem with them in particular, and the Chiss in general, is their clothing and style. There are many official references, including those from Legends, but each artist still has his own vision regarding, for example, the shape of the fleet. Somewhere there is a strong homage to the design from the old canon, somewhere it was modernized, and in the latter they added the same “honor's chains”, which look a little strange on the laconic form. It seems to be in the Chiss style, but very impractical.
As a result, I am reworking the design of the expansion and defense fleet uniform, but more on that another time. Let's return to Ar'alani and Vah'nya.
At the beginning of the events of the "Eleventh Fleet", Senior General Ar'alani on his flagship "Vigilant" is increasingly confronted with the Grysks. A year will pass since her last meeting with Thrawn, when the invaders of the Ascendency space will openly attack the Chiss ships.
Such cat and mouse would continue for another year until the disappearance of another Night Dragon class war cruiser, subsequently leading to disaster in the heart of the Chiss Ascendancy. The Senior General will be one of the few superiors who, along with Ba'kif, can survive. Much of this will be down to Vanto and Ronan - unaccounted for variables in the Grysk's plans. The trust placed in Thrawn's "alien protégés" paid off in full.
The Senior General was often accompanied by Senior Navigator Vah'nya. "Vigilant" almost always accepted missions to search for missing navigators. Vah'nya not only guided the ship through the stars and darkness of outer space, but she was much better at rehabilitating rescued navigators, as well as leading the other navigators on the ship. Friendship with Eli played an important role in this.
Because of her "anomaly" as a Navigator who hasn't lost her powers into adulthood, many of the regulations and rules simply don't work for Vah'nya the way they do for other girls. And to be an “anomaly” for Sindikure is a very subtle walking on the edge of a charrik. And yet, to the dissatisfaction of some aristocrats and syndics, the girl manages to balance on it for quite a long time.
+ bonus Ba'kif timeline concept art.
Because I’m not entirely sure that I’m right, but I really wanted to think about what this gorgeous grandpa would have looked like during the Thrawn. Ascendency Trilogy. And I also reworked his “chains” and other form elements quite a bit. And yes, I’m more than sure that Thrawn adopted Ba'kif’s “style” in his time.
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amnhnyc · 4 months
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What’s more? Alumni receive 2 years of fully-funded professional learning! To learn more or sign up for an information session, visit: https://bit.ly/4aAi2Bx
Applications are due by January 16.
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kyoshi-lesbians · 3 months
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aang when he says "the monks taught us" katara when she says "my grandmother used to tell me" sokka when he says "my dad" zuko when he says "my uncle" toph when. the badgermoles.
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frenchublog · 5 months
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Pls help how do you draw eyess(or faces in general)💀💀 like what do you dooooo help my faces always look so weird and the same whenever I draww
Hi !
I'm learning with Proko classes but he has a Youtube channel with free cool lessons for beginners (perspective, shading, construction lines) he does have lessons for the head too I believe ! Of course, drawing your faves on the side, many times, helps.
It's very important to understand the basics first. I also do figure drawing too thanks to this website ➡️ https://line-of-action.com/
I also have the Michel Lauricella Morpho book that I have since I'm 21 (he also did one for the clothes, it's really nice)⬇️
When it comes to style unfortunately there's nothing more I can do, you make it, as you go 🎨🖌️I'm sure you have favourite movies, shows, books, artists, good strong influences that can help you craft it. The best way to get better at drawing is to have solid knowledge of your fundamentals. Understand how it works, why the bones are build that way and why they're called that way too ! (same thing for the muscles !) You can't draw something if that something doesn't have a name. Identify your weaknesses, keep pushing and working ! You'll see, it pays off ! ⬇️ (there's the Proko channel link down there)
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Another very important advice would be to keep a sketchbook and fill it with doodles (no pencil !! only marker) we humans have this reflex of erasing our mistakes and then not learning ! Using a marker allows us to draw, fail, fail even more until we're on our knees crying, asking for mercy. But it's good, failure is good. Failure means you're learning, it's proof of your artistic journey. Like footprints. I understand fear can hold you back too but you can't do anything with nothing. You're not trying to reach for absolute perfection, that is not the purpose of this type of notebook, you can draw whatever you want!
(like this !! look at my THOND silly doodles ! no one can judge me this movie is a masterpiece)⬇️
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I'll leave you with the 4 P's of life : Passion, Patience, Persistence, and Practice !
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