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kentopedia · 10 months

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hi~! can i rq a scenario with dazai where his s/o finds out he abused akutagawa in the port mafia and gets super pisssd at him because they themselves were abused? thank u!

color me blue

FEATURING. osamu dazai x gn!reader — wc: 3.1k

SUMMARY: mori reveals dazai's true nature as a mentor to akutagawa.

CONTENTS: references to past abuse, arguments, pm!reader, ada!dazai, angst, typical dazai warnings lol, comfort at the end

notes: thank you for the request !! i hope this is okay <3

It’d begun like any other morning. Already exhausted, you woke with an overwhelming list of things to do, tasks that needed to be completed by the evening.

It was a typical routine for you, these days. As a high-ranking member of the Mafia, you never got a break. Not from your job, nor the menial chores you needed to suffer through in your personal life. The laundry, it seemed, wouldn’t do itself, no matter how much your boss paid you for all the illegal actions you’d committed.

And though it was wearisome, everything had been fine. The sun began to set, and you realized that for the rest of the day, you would be free.

That was, until your routine check-in with Mori somehow led to a disclosure of what had been years’ worth of private information.

He’d greeted you as normal, sat you down before his desk with his oily smile, and had you review everything you’d accomplished that week. Though you believed you would be free to go within half an hour, when you stood to leave, Mori released an oh, by the way, and reiterated the unanticipated torment that Dazai had put Akutagawa through.

For the entirety of his story, you sat without so much as a twitch of the muscle, but you couldn’t comprehend why Mori was telling you now. It had been nearly four years since Dazai left the Mafia, and though the Boss had been aware of your relationship as teenagers, he’d never given you any sign that he knew it’d continued after Dazai defected.

You’d both been careful, secretive. You never did anything to draw any suspicion or be labeled as a traitor, and the two of you were successful.

At least, you thought you’d been successful.

Mori had never once mentioned it, had never so much as batted an eye when you spoke about Dazai from time to time. Though, now, his grin was much too conniving, the words made of steel as he drew them out, directing them in a sharp point towards your chest.

He had no intentions of going after Dazai, that much was clear. Nor did he seem intent on killing you for your misdeeds. Already, he’d spun a vile web, knowing exactly how to use you as his best asset. With you still under his command, he had some sort of advantage over Dazai and the Agency.

Perhaps, his comments were just a test of your loyalty. If Mori laid that one tiny seed of doubt in your mind, would it be enough to fracture the bond between you and Dazai that had been unsevered for years?

You wanted to convince yourself, fervently, that the answer was no. You’d been by Dazai’s side for this long and nothing he’d done had turned you away. Yet, you were unprepared for the anger that had risen in you, burning so hot and ravenous that you were unable to think of anything else.

It was all that was on your mind as you returned to the apartment, a barren space that had been used for nothing besides meetups with Dazai since the two of you purchased it. Each wall was entrenched with years of as much sin as there was love. Items that belonged to both of you were scattered across the surfaces, but there was never anything too important.

At the end of the day, neither of you could stay there long.

You paced the apartment, thinking through everything that Mori had said, over and over again. An ache of sorrow fought against your warranted rage, and you stood by the door waiting for Dazai to enter.

As angry as you were with him, as horrified as you wanted to be, there were still years and years of comfort and gentleness that placed a cooling balm over your burning wounds.

Still, a part of you had always been envious that Dazai had managed to escape into something good, and you’d become the enemy to his organization. Now, it seemed, you were the only thing holding him back.

In some other universe, surely, there was a life better for the both of you than this.

Despite your affection, you inhaled, fortifying yourself for a regrettable conversation. You channeled your resentment into logic, rephrasing sentences in your mind until they were perfect, forming an argument that couldn’t be so easily shut down by Dazai’s soothing words.

The door clicked, unlocked by the only other person that held a key to the salacious space. He was humming to himself, an upbeat song that had been stuck on the radio charts for weeks.

Something about that simple action startled you, set you off kilter, and you crossed your arms, protecting yourself. You came here with a purpose, and you refused to diminish the weight of the conversation. A puff of steam left you on a heavy exhale.

Dazai threw the key on the counter and smiled, his eyes softening the moment they caught a glimpse of you. “You got here faster than I thought.” His tone was cheerful, and he seemed relaxed, without the foreboding cloud of misery pushing down on him. It was so unusual that you, almost, regretted bringing up what you’d learned from Mori at all.

Though, it wasn’t something you could just ignore. You straightened, making sure not to deflate under his undeniable warmth.

For a moment, Dazai didn’t realize that anything was wrong. He hung his coat up, stretched his limbs, and talked without facing you. “It’s been too long since we’ve seen one another. I thought about you all day,” he said, drawing out the syllables with a short laugh. “You’re always such a distraction. How will I ever get my work done?”

Dazai seemed so happy, and in all your years together, you’d never thought that would be a word used to describe him. It pained you to ruin that, even as your nails dug into your palm, trying to reconcile the two versions of Dazai that you knew.

You looked away. If you wanted to say what you needed to, you couldn’t bear to see the way his soft expression turned into one of animosity.

For a few more moments, he rambled on to himself, before realizing that you hadn’t said a word at all. You felt frozen in the middle of the room, your mouth dry as you tried to think of the best way to segue into the conversation.

“Hey.” Dazai had grown quiet, and he stopped mulling around the apartment, finally focusing all his attention on you. “What’s wrong, pretty?” There was a pout on his lips, his expression already falling from the bright, joyful one he’d worn when he’d entered. “I still haven’t gotten a kiss.”

You were weak for a moment, questioning if your anger was even worth it. A minute passed of your own silence before you resolved yourself, ending your hesitance. What you’d heard had upset you tremendously; you couldn’t just brush past it like it was nothing.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

Dazai’s face screwed up, eyebrows pinched, as he tried to remember what he could’ve possibly done to upset you that week. Though you often bickered about ridiculous things, it was rare that either of you lashed out in anger at the other.

Your expression was enough to let him know that this was one of those times. He hesitated. “I’m… not sure what you mean, love. Did I do something wrong?”

At that, you laughed, amused that he could play so innocent. He’d changed while in the Detective Agency, that much was certain, but you knew every bit of his soul and he certainly hadn’t been purified of his sins. “Mori told me about Akutagawa today. I doubted how much of it was true until I thought about it, really thought about it, and it makes sense.”

Dazai stared blankly back at you, his eyes searching your face for any more context. They flicked back and forth, round brown irises full of an uncertainty you weren’t sure was genuine. He was a master of manipulation, and you refused to ever be a pawn in his schemes, no matter how small. “I haven’t seen Akutagawa in weeks. Whatever’s happened to him—”

You stood straighter, keeping your hands tight at your sides. “I’m not talking about now, Osamu. I’m talking about years ago; back when you were training him.”

A moment passed; he didn’t blink. Nothing in his eyes betrayed him. “Would you care to provide me with some context?”

“You know what I’m talking about.” You scowled, clenching your teeth so hard that it hurt. “How could you do that to him? All those years, you and Oda kept it a secret from me. You hurt him. You were so cruel.” Your nails dug deep into your palm. “I told you everything that happened to me before I came to the Mafia. Every way that I was hurt, and you told me you understood. You promised me, and you turned around and did the same thing to him.”

Dazai held his body loosely, surprised by your sudden outburst of emotion. It seemed he was unsure what to do with the confession you’d just handed over. Dazai licked his lips, wetting the dry skin, and searched deep into your soul for the best way to soothe you.

But the betrayal, the hurt, was buried deep within you, and the anger wouldn’t fade so easily.

“I never kept secrets from you,” he said, instead of answering any questions. His tone was cool, unaffected, like you hadn’t just raised your voice as your countenance changed into one of distress. “You just never bothered to ask.”

Silence. You swallowed, hard, each notch of your spine stiffening. “That’s not fair. How was I supposed to know his training was any different from mine? Should my first suspicion have been that you were mistreating him?”

Dazai grew grim, the first twinge of emotion you’d seen since you’d spoken. He rubbed his temple. “You’ve got a right to be angry, but I never hid anything from you on purpose.” He reached out for you, his touch soft as he rubbed your bicep. “I just don’t know what you want me to do about it now, sweetheart. Why are you bringing this up?”

You didn’t want to tell him about Mori, not yet. That was a conversation for another time, and he wouldn’t hesitate to claim that bit of information was the more pressing matter.

Instead, you inched out of his hold, gazing back at him with contempt. “You can’t be serious, Osamu.” His audacity shouldn’t have been surprising, but it shocked you, nonetheless. “That’s all you have to say?”

“What do you want me to say?” Dazai held his hands out like you would hand him over a script, a typed apology just for him to repeat back at you. “Never once did you show any concern for Akutagawa’s wellbeing when he joined the Mafia. Suddenly, you care, and I’m not sure why.”

“That’s not true!” you said, your cheeks hot with frustration. “We we’re friends—”

Dazai laughed, though it was mocking, without any true humor. “You expressed an interest in him that wasn’t ever reciprocated.”

You scrubbed your face, drained from his rebuttals, and put enough space between the two of you so that Dazai couldn’t touch you.

“Fine. Maybe we weren’t friends, but I wantedto be because I knew he understood. I thought we could get to know each other well. Then one day, he wouldn’t even speak to me anymore. He looked at me like I knew so much more than he did.” A finger was in Dazai’s face, scolding. “You fucked it all up. We’re just a year apart, Osamu. I didn’t want him to treat me like that just because I was dating his mentor.”

There was a break of silence. Dazai sniffed, recovering some sense of power in the conversation. “I’m sorry.” he said, but it was merely to appease you, no sincerity in the words. “Perhaps my methods of training were inappropriate and unethical, but it’s the Mafia, my love. What did you expect?”

Frustrated tears welled up in your eyes. “And if it had been me? If I had been under your command, would you have done the very same?”

At that, Dazai softened, his lips curling down. The light in his eyes flickered and faded, any happiness in his face muted. “It would never have been you. You know I could never bring myself to hurt you.”

You buried your face in your hands, his sweet comment doing little to soothe you. “He was just a kid—”

“I was too.” Dazai held your wrists gently, prying them away. He was frowning, dark eyebrows pinched together as he looked at you with both concern and betrayal. “You’re going to blame this all on me, when I was a child too, doing what I thought was right?”

“No. But you’re an adult now, and you still treat him the same way.” You shoved him away, putting space between you, never before having felt so cold in Dazai’s embrace. “He’s nothing more than a chess piece to you. That’s something I can’t accept.”

“Is that the case?” Dazai turned hard; suddenly he’d lost the upper hand. “You’ve got a lot of opinions on what’s right. Yet, remind me who’s the one still in the Mafia?”

It was meant to hurt you, a low blow that stung and went straight to your chest. You hadn’t wanted to stay in the Mafia, but he’d never given you the choice. Dazai had left you with nothing more than a note and a promise, and you were too stupidly fond of him to ever let him go completely.

“It’s so hard to love you sometimes, Osamu,” you said, quietly, trying to keep your emotions at bay. “Your new friends at the agency get to be ignorant about the man you used to be, but I know just how cruel he was. I see him every time I look at you.”

Dazai stared back at you stunned and hurt. He flexed his fingers, but for once, he didn’t reach out for you.

You couldn’t bear to look at him anymore.

The bathroom door slammed behind you, and you stood in front of the mirror, watching splotchy patches form on your skin from unreleased emotions. The sink ran, a steady stream with no end, to tune out your deep, calming breaths until you no longer felt that immense amount of anger.

You knew what you were getting yourself into by falling in love with a man like Dazai. You’d known it from the beginning. He was no different than all the people that had hurt you, the reason why you’d come to the Mafia in the first place.

Yet, he was so much more loving with you, gentle and patient, and you knew that under every layer of bad intent and regretful crimes, Dazai was a good person.

With a sigh, you turned off the sink and crept back into the room, feeling remorseful and miserable. The knowledge of what he’d done to Akutagawa was something you couldn’t forgive him for. It was horrible and traumatizing, but so were so many other things that he’d done.

You couldn’t place double standards on him for his previous actions. If you had loved him despite all of those things, you weren’t going to be able to stop now.

“Osamu?” you said in a quieter voice, creeping out of the bathroom silently, slinking within the shadows.

He was spread over the length of the couch, his head resting on the arm of it as he stared up at the ceiling. When you approached, he shifted into a seated position, waiting for you to speak.

“I didn’t mean what I said,” you began, walking slowly towards him, drawn to him easily. “You’re not a difficult man to love. I’ve never felt that way.”

Dazai smiled, though it was half-hearted, and extended a hand to you. You took it quickly and he drew you into his lap, squeezing you tight. “Well, I certainly don’t make it easy on you.”

You were silent. He kissed your forehead, running a delicate touch across your back.

“I can’t take back what I did to him.” Dazai sighed, dropping his forehead to your shoulder. “The damage is done.”

“I know that.” You breathed, his calming scent wrapping around you, reminding you that no matter what, he would always be your home. “It’s not fair for me to judge you when I’m still in the Mafia. My crimes are no better than yours. Even if what you did…” you trailed off shaking your head. “No. You’re right, Osamu. It’s not fair.”

He guided your fingers to his lips, kissing each of them lightly with the beginnings of a smile. “I’ll never be a perfect man, but I’m trying to be a better one.” Though he refrained from showing vulnerabilities to most people, he was more open with you, more willing to reveal the parts of himself he despised the most. “I… hope you know that. It may not seem like I’m trying, but—"

“I know you are.” You ran a hand through his hair and swallowed, resting your cheek on top of his head. “Osamu, you’re already so different than you were when you left. You’ve changed much more than I have. It was horrible of me to diminish that.” You squeezed his hand. “I’m sorry I said that.”

A minute passed before he spoke again, his breath so steady, a reminder that he was still there, with you, despite all attempts he’d made to leave you behind. We’ve seen every ugly side to one another. It makes it far too easy to be unkind. Doesn’t mean I’d ever love you any less.”

You smiled, though it was sad, but through your hurt you were still devastatingly devoted to him. It was just easier to ignore the damage he’d caused when you weren’t staring it right in the face, a walking, breathing reminder of the person he held inside him. The very type of man that had once hurt you.

You squeezed him tighter, blocking out the cruel memories of your past. Dazai had never laid a punishing hand on you, had never spat demeaning words at you that could never be forgiven. Through it all, he had adored you, treated you with a gentleness you’d desired, and loved you without conditions.

Brushing dark hair away from his forehead, your eyes softened, the darkness in him cracking as the light began to shine through. “I know, Osamu,” you said, your cheeks pinching, warm. “Despite it all, I will always love you without regrets.”

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judasgot-it · 1 year

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Ello o/, may i request again (dk if i can tho, don't feel pressured if not maken), really love the post you made for the request my heart literally- aawkwkw, i have so many things to say to that post but really busy asfck like if i wnated to, i could literally write a essay or thesis statement, */ahem anyway

BSD boys, while having a fighting/argument with s/o they suddenly grip they're s/o's wrist too hard and ended up leaving a mark (they didn't mean to tho ;-;) that reminded the reader's past child abuse/not used to this type of conflict which lead to angst to comfort or just angst hehe. Idk this is just a random 2am thought(my time rn) I have classes later waking up at 4am too…

AHHHHHH omg yes I'm so sorry I haven't like set up any request rules yet which I should do lol, but I'm so shehejwj but I don't have limits on requests! I just try to get to them when I can <3 Also I'm so sorry about the late response! College is hard x[

But also, I wanna do some scenarios for this, so I'm gonna have to only pick a few that I feel I can write the best for this if that's ok cause ngl I feel the mercury retrograde rn,,,

Scenario: Accidentally triggering past abuse/trauma during an argument (Ranpo, Dazai)

Ranpo

Ranpo was a rather loud guy. That's not his fault, since he's only loud whenever he has a reason to be - he's confident because he knows he can get away with it. He's smart enough to survive some of the most dangerous killers, and is bold enough to laugh in their face about it too.

But god is it aggravating as hell whenever you want to truly talk to the man one on one. Sometimes, you just want to have a normal date with him - like a normal couple and do normal couple stuff.

Like right now, you just want to walk down this busy street and not have to listen to him boast about how stupid people were. It was embarrassing how loud he was about it, how the person who got hit with a car could have easily avoided it had they just checked both sides of the street.

A normal conversation to have after witnesses a horrible event, but you could feel the stares from across the street from the mans wife. Especially towards Ranpo, who seemed to have no social boundaries as everyone else in the area seemed to instead be occupied with the normal human behavior of freaking out after witnessing a man flying in the air and being hit by a car.

To save face, you dragged him away, with him still talking about it as if it were a normal everyday thing. In his world, it probably was - but not to you. Not to normal people, who didn't think about death everyday.

"Ranpo, you need to quiet down."

"What? I'm just saying. It was pretty avoidable you know?"

You turned around to glare at him, gripping your enclasped hands tightly. He thought nothing of it, swirling his ramune bottle rather casually. The ball clinked around with each step the both of you took together.

"I know that. But you do know that it's pretty insensitive to say that in front of him and the wife who saw her husband get hit with a car."

"Y/n."

You were forced back as Ranpo stopped on the sidewalk. It was apart of a narrow stretch of road, empty and away from the commotion, which forced you to look at him. He was staring at you with his eyes, as if trying to puzzle something.

"You don't actually care about them."

There was a pause. You blinked once. Then twice.

"What do you mean by that?"

He held your hand tighter, almost painfully so.

"You don't really care about them that much. So why are you defending them?"

His viridian eyes bore into yours, which deeply unsettled you. He meant nothing by it, especially with the iron grip he had on your hand which kept you in your spot.

"Because not everyone is a superfreak like you Ranpo!"

But it made you incredibly uncomfortable.

You felt the need to defend yourself, somehow.

"Some people have 'empathy' which I know is a foreign concept to people like you."

It was as he cocked his head to the side, like a crow trying to understand what you had just told him. It was as if what you just said had gone right through him, like the wind.

"You don't mean that."

He pulled you towards him. You tried to step back, but you only found yourself stepping around and trying to find your balance again.

You flinched when Ranpo reached to balance you, but you still felt the energy from your sudden bout of frustration pumping through your body. It was embarrassing, but your mind and body were reacting all on their own.

Ranpo kept staring at you, looking past your angry scowl and into something deeper.

"I'm not your enemy Y/n, I know you're upset but there's something more."

He left you feeling naked there.

"It's not that deep. You don't need to defend yourself against me."

You looked down, avoiding his eyes. The sidewalk underneath you was rather cracked and abandoned - there was a dandelion growing just underneath your feet, a rather resilient flower.

"I'm not defending myself, I'm just..."

Ranpo lifted your chin up so you could meet his eyes again, which were now softer, as they had quickly figured out the puzzle that he's struggled with.

You looked back at him. A part of you wanted to keep arguing - it was in your nature, to keep fighting. Unfortunately, it was something you've done for a long time, which Ranpo has figured out by now.

Another thing that made you feel a little uncomfortable.

He met you with a cheeky smile, like a little rat. He closed his eyes, his cheeks raising to meet his eyes.

"I know. You're a good person Y/n."

Dazai

"I just don't think you understand. I can't expect you to, but it's not your problem, so why are you so upset about it?"

Dazai was looking at you from the couch, watching as you were once again picking up bottles he had left from one of his drinking binges. He still smelled of last night, wearing the same clothes and smelling of the various drinks he had lost himself in.

"It clearly is my problem. I'm the one cleaning up your mess right now, so how could I not be involved? Dear god, do you ever look at yourself and want to even try to be better?"

Dazai looked at you, sitting up from his previous lounging position. He stared up, his elbows resting on his knees as he stared at you - his eyebags prominent in the early morning sunlight.

"What do you mean 'try' to be better? Have you ever even known what it's like to be like this?"

You rolled your eyes, dragging the bag to the front door so you could later bring it to the dumpster of your apartments. In your eyes, he was clearly being dramatic - sitting like some sort of mafioso, needing only a cigarette to seal the deal.

"Everyone has had it hard at one point Dazai. Losing yourself to alcohol every night and weekend doesn't justify it. You have a life to live you know? It's worth living."

You heard footsteps approach behind you, and looked up to see Dazai standing a little too close for comfort. His body was warm, and you could see the sweat and stains on his bandages. His hair was usually fluffy hair was greasy, but his eyes - they were dark, simply staring down at you.

"What do you know about living?"

"What?"

He had backed you into the wall, his hands now on either side of you, blocking you from exiting the danger that had become him and whatever emotional rage he had thrown himself into.

"You act like you know so much about life but you know nothing! You don't know anything about death or life - I don't think you know anything at all really. You feel all too comfortable making these assumptions about me when you don't know who I am, do you?"

He was smiling but it didn't reach his eyes at all.

You pushed at him, trying to find space to escape from his hold. His clothes and warmth made you want to burn your skin and run at that moment, and you closed your eyes in order to avoid the worst of your fears as you knew he was staring at you with those eyes that seemed to hold nothing but contempt in that very moment.

When you couldn't break free, instead feeling him pressing himself more against you, you felt your eyes begin to tear up.

"Dazai get the fuck away me."

"Or what? What will you do, oh sweet belladonna?"

You could feel tears build up in your eyes as your pushing did nothing against him - so you resorted to what you knew would work.

You raised your knee as hard as you could, and watched as Dazai fell hard on the ground, falling like a sack of potatoes. He writhed around, clutching his pearls while you gripped your pants, trying to soothe your nerves.

"Dazai I'm..."

You looked around your apartment, looking at the mess that it had become because of him. You looked back down at him, who was still on the ground and wasn't saying anything.

"Dazai I'm going to leave for a bit. Sorry."

I'm so sorry this took so long waaaaahh I'm a slow writer I'm working on it tho ;( also I was thinking about doing Jouno but I felt that it would've been super harsh so maybe I'll do him another time

#bsd x reader #bungo stray dogs x reader #bungou stray dogs x reader #ranpo x you #ranpo x reader #ranpo x y/n #dazai x reader #dazai x you #dazai x y/n #bsd x you #bsd x y/n

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greasyghosts · 1 year

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❝ When they come home late and injured ❞

Featuring: Dazai, Kunikida, and Atsushi

C/w: wounds, gashes, ect. Alcohol, slight angst in dazais, stab mentions, swearing, use of bella/belladonna in dazais part. Blood mentions. (Let me know if I missed anything!) Not entirely proof read

A/n: This was written at 3am, so I apologize if it's horrid lol (I typically hate using y/n, but.. I couldn't figure anything else to use for some characters. If you have any suggestions, please leave them in the comments!)

!please don't repost, plagiarize, or copy my work ♡

Dazai:

He gotten injured SO many times so you're probably used to it, nevertheless still massively scared about him

You expect him to come late, but tonight he came back EXTREMELY late, probably into the next day.. I'm talking 3-4am

it's probably because afterward he had a drink at Lupin and probably fell asleep there, lol

Sometimes you slip his mind cause he's just used to coming home injured and alone

But when he finally comes home, the alcohol has worn off on him, and he realizes, "Oh.. shit"

He feels bad, but he may try to make light of it.

When you turn the light on him and he sees your swollen eyes, your red nose, and patches of pink on your cheeks.. God does he feel horrible now.

He enters your shared apartment, sighing as he removes his bloodied coat.

"Belllaaaa" he called, not even expecting you to be awake

But to his surprise you come running to the door

"Osamu-!" You say as you immediately wrap him in a hug, in which he hisses in pain

You move back, finally realizing the wound on his waist

You sigh as you practically force him into the bathroom

"Belladonna.. I can take care of then myself" he tries to take the first aid kit before you do but you beat him to it, turning your face to look at him

And then he notices...

God does it hurt his heart

"Then you should've taken care of them before you had gotten home practically drunk. Yeah, Dazai, I can smell the beer on you." You practically snapped

All he could do was stare at you sympathetically, he knew you were right to be upset.

So he just sits on the closed toilet and lifts his shirt, letting you do the work

"Im.. sorry, love." You look up at him

"What happened..?" You tried to lighten the mood

He'd chuckle in recollection

"I got stabbed" he'd say through a cocky smile

Your face completely read 'what the actual Ffff-...."

He seemed to wear it like a medal

"You saw it coming though.. I know you can predict these things" your voice showed no signs of venom, just exhaustion

"Why do you keep letting yourself get hurt, Dazai?"

When you look up at him, his brows are furrowed, and his head is resting on his hand.

"I truly didn't see it coming, bella. I'm sorry I made you wait so long, and that I got you worried. " his voice was sincere, so you sighed and got up.

"Cmon Osamu.. I'm tired. " You'd pull on his arm, which in return you got a chuckle and a hug from him

"I love you, bella" he cooed. But as he was sort of suffocating you in his chest, the best you could say was a muffled "I love you too, NOW LET ME BREATHE"

Kunikida:

Let's be fr, this man would not let himself be late. Even if he's injured.

But let's just say there was an extremely rare instance where he was (max would probably be 30 minutes ☠️)

He'd come home, calling your name. He probably texted you beforehand

His arm tied up in a random piece of cloth to hold pressure on his wound

He'd see all the lights were on and you cooking something

God, this man is in love with you. When he sees your face, he immediately smiles

Of course, he'd decline when you offer to properly dress his wound, but you'd manage to take care of it anyway

When you heard his keys click against the door as he unlocked the door to your home, you ran up to meet him.

"Kuni!" You jumped into his arms

His lips immediately curl into a smile

"Hello, Y/N, I hope you got my text?" He asked

You'd nod, that being the reason you even started making a meal for him

As he filled you in on what happened at the ADA your eyes drift to his left arm and see the bloody cloth surrounding a wound

"Ughh, Kunikida you should let me dress that for you.." You started unbuttoning his top so that you could reach the area

Shaking his head a bit before he spoke

"No, dear you've already done so much, I'm perfectly capable of doing it"

Then you just sigh as you drag him into the bathroom to take care of it for him, afterwards enjoying a comfy meal together.

Atsushi:

He's literally wanted by so many people it's hard to think he won't get injured

And if he does, the only time he wouldn't call to say if he was coming home was if his phone was either down or broken and he had no change for a payphone

When he'd come home, he'd probably be too tired to say something and would let his head fall on your shoulders as you tended to it

If you give him a few kisses while you're at it, you'll have this tiger melt in your hands like putty

You had left the door unlocked for him, you knew he had a difficult mission today so you didn't mind waiting, you just hoped he was okay. And even if he wasn't, you had the first aid kit next you and ready.

Atsushi walked through the door, groggy and slow, but still smiling at your face.

You greeted him warmly before he sat down in front of you, face buried into the crook of your neck

Of course you expected him to be injured, luckily it was something that could easily be taken care of.

Atsushi would grip your arm in pain when you'd put the disinfectant agent on the gash on his forearm.

So, to relax him, you'd place a few kisses on his face. To which he'd wrap his arms around your waist

"Atsushi I can't get to your wound!" But he'd just mumble something incoherent and you'd stay they're for a lil while..

A/n: sorry if this was super bad lol, but please leave recommendations and requests!

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silawastaken · 2 months

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SILAS FIC RECOMMENDATIONS.

most of these should be bsd...? Idk I've not started adding to the list yet. I will say- I just started going through my bookmarks, why do I have so many Stanley parable fics saved??? I haven't touched the Stanley parable since this time last year lol ANYWAY

This Just In: I Am A Total Fucking Dumbass - 2204 word ranpoe feelings realisation oneshot, high school au, absolutely adorable and so well written, my fav ranpoe fic i fear

The Curious Case of Edogawa Ranpo And His Significant Distraction - 2530 word ranpoe oneshot, canon universe, getting together, made me laugh, plus dazai+ranpo friendship mentioned

The Life We Could've Lived - 22,231 word skk high school au, dazai and chuuya from the canon universe wake up in the high school au. I haven't finished it, when I read it it was still ongoing, but it was really good, and I will be finishing it eventually (i hope)

after thirteen summers (still with you) - 5,223 word skk author au, relationship reveal

Tempus Fugit - 63,188 word skk canon universe, 15 skk get transported into the future to stay with their 23 year old selves

End of the Famine - 5,176 word hurt/comfort Atsushi and Dazai, depressing but comforting

Magic and Mystery - 209,039 word hp x bsd crossover, very good read, well paced and has an ongoing sequel

Anything by Clydeo - skk angst fics, frequently oneshots but they have a few ongoing longer ones!

the memory of your name - 45,016 word sskk memory loss trope, very well written and ongoing, I'm currently still reading it and it's ✨✨ amazing

To Forget That Is Unforgiveable - 45,471 word skk musician/idol au, again, so well written and still ongoing, the way they write is so unbelievably captivating like AAAAA it's such a good work, just be mindful of the tags!

Anyway that's pretty much all the bsd fics I've read... they're all super good you should check them out 😋😋

#bsd #ao3 fanfic #soukoku fanfiction #bsd fanfic #fanfic reccomendation #silas yaps

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sensitiveheartless · 6 months

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20 questions for fic writers!

Tagged by @feralrookie! :D Thank you for the tag!!

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

10! (technically, kinda)

2. What's your total ao3 word count?

379,547

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Just Bungou Stray Dogs! It's also the first fandom I've written for, actually. :D

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

This is how it feels to take a fall (Dazai goes feral, time shenanigans)

Plate :( (Dazai breaks a plate, experiences emotions)

Dazai and the Moving Detective Agency (Howl's Moving Castle AU)

Chuunyaa's Pawsitively Catastrophic Day (Chuuya is turned into a cat, it's short and pretty much just shenanigans)

Wish in one hand (First fic I wrote, and the first one I posted — Dazai has emotions about handholding)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to, but I've been absolutely terrible at it lately — whenever I'm particularly stressed I start worrying that the negative emotions are going to leak through into what I'm writing and make my tone sound weird, so then I end up turtling in on myself and not saying anything at all, no matter how much I want to engage with people. It's a bad habit, and I want to work on it, so I'm gonna try to catch up on comments! (I treasure every single one of the ones I receive, so for anyone who has left a comment and hasn't gotten a response from me yet, thank you and I am very sorry about my inability to form words in a timely manner skdjfksd)

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Probably An Unsent Letter, since it's pretty much just a short snippet of Dazai being sad while he's leaving the mafia. And even with that one, I have in my head that skk still get together after the four years apart, I just didn't write it. I am dreadful with sad endings — although the ending to "This is how it feels to take a fall" is a little bittersweet, perhaps.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Hmm...I'm gonna say Dazai and the Moving Detective Agency, because it's the one with the longest buildup, so I think it has the most catharsis, at least for me! But I tend to give all of my fics happy endings because, as established, I am a wimp when it comes to hardcore angst. I will say that Zut Alors I Have Missed One is probably a contender for happiest as well, just because that fic had no angst whatsoever and was just Unhinged

8. Do you get hate on fic?

Nope! Everyone's been lovely! I have gotten some for my art, but honestly it was pretty toothless and I couldn't take it seriously lol

9. Do you write smut?

...Yeh. :0 There was an attempt, at least — one fic, and I made it anonymous (so on the extreme off-chance that anyone notices a discrepancy between my total ao3 wordcount listed here and the summed up wordcounts of the fics viewable on my profile, that's why!) It's also another fic I need to finish, I hit my writing roadblock with that one at the same time as all my others, and it's almost doneeee I just need my brain to cooperate >:|

10. Do you write crossovers?

Not any proper crossovers, only things like the Howl AU and the Little Mermaid AU, where I took the settings/plots and put in BSD characters.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

...Possibly? I'm not actually sure, I've given a couple people permission, but I'm not sure if anything came of that, I haven't heard one way or another :0 I do have a tendency to use puns, which I realize might make things difficult for translations

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, not so far — and given how tempestuous my schedule has been, it'll probably be a while before I attempt anything like that! Sounds fun, though

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

...I mean, it's gotta be soukoku, because for all that I've enjoyed a lot of fictional pairings before (for example, Howl and Sophie specifically from the HMC books, Beatrice and Benedick from Much Ado About Nothing — I like bickering duos, what do you know — Peter Wimsey and Harriet Vane, currently falling down the Hualian rabbithole because I'm reading Heaven Official's Blessing with my friend, and there's lots of other ones), for as much as I like all those, I haven't really had much of an urge to write anything for them.

So, purely in terms of me wanting to mess around with two characters and write them over and over and over again, it's really only skk! They hit the exact right combination of braincells, I guess lololol

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but probably won't?

Hmmm...honestly, most of my WIPs I still intend to finish at some point or another — first priority being the ones I've already started posting, of course! Although...just due to time constraints, I might not get around to writing the thief!Chuuya/detective!Dazai one I was planning a while back. (and I mean a WHILE lol) I didn't write very much of it, and honestly most of the reason I wanted to write it was for comedy — so maybe I'll turn it into a short comic series instead, because I do think some of the bits were funny :0

16. What are your writing strengths?

That's a hard one; I tend to look more at the ways I want to improve my writing then at what I like about it, and I nitpick just about everything I create, art and writing alike. But if I had to pick something, I would probably say dialogue? That tends to be what I write easiest, at least. I still want to get better at that too, though.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Descriptions and action scenes. I've been making myself write them more, so I think I'm slowly improving (the Howl AU has been great for that! It pushed me to write all sorts of scenes I wouldn't have normally :D ), but those two things remain what I get bogged down by the most.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Depends on the circumstances, I think? I'd include translations if I did. I do tend to include Japanese honorifics when I'm writing in the canon universe, because there's not really english equivalents and it feels like I'm leaving something out when I just do their names straight — although I did take them out when I was doing the Howl AU and the Little Mermaid AU, just as a setting thing.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Bungou Stray Dogs — like I mentioned in the ship section, this is the first fandom where I've really felt the urge. Although I did write things when I was little that very blatantly yoinked in various creatures and concepts from the things I was reading and watching, which resulted in stories with pirates and weeping angels and Ringwraiths all running around in the same place. But I didn't usually bother with bringing in actual characters from those pieces of media, or even using the settings, I just made ocs and had them run around in my own made up world.

20. Favorite fic you've written?

I like all of them for different reasons, but I think my favorite overall has to be Dazai and the Moving Detective Agency. It's the longest thing I've ever written, and when I started out I wasn't sure I'd be able to do it — so the fact that it's most of the way done (currently chipping away at the epilogue, it is getting to be a LOT of words) makes me really happy. And it's just been so much fun! Writing characters I hadn't before, piecing the world together, working out the magic system, writing Dazai being a mess and Chuuya being cool, it's all been a blast. And I seriously need to finish the epilogue, because the followups are living in my brain and they demand to be freed aksdfjksdjfk

But yeah! I'm not sure how many writers I know on here have already been tagged, so I'll just go open tags on this one! :D If any of y'all write and feel like doing this, then go for it!

#tag game #senhart rambles #senhart's writing #long post

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picturepickle · 4 months

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Day 14! Two weeks!!

I was watching this movie today called "p.s. I love you" and it made me cry, and I kid you not, seven different times in two hours. It literally hurt me so bad, but it's like, bittersweet and so it was the good type of hurt. You know a good angst romance fanfic where it's so sweet, but super sad? That type of pain. Like that one fanfic called Flowers from 1997 or smthn like that I don't really remember lol.

Anyways, this is just the first sketch for now, hopefully I can come back to this tomorrow and work on it some more. Add some color, shading, Dazai in the background, that sorta thing. But for now, this'll have to do since it is super late and I have to wake up early tomorrow (woops).

#drawing #my art #art #autodesk sketchbook #anime fanart #anime #bsd fanart #bsd chuuya #bsd #chuuya nakahara #bungou stray dogs chuuya #bsd nakahara #nakahara chūya #nakaharachuuya #bsd chūya #chūya #it is 12am #im so tired #aaaaaa

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daz4i · 7 months

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yknow what i have nothing to do and need to distract myself from *gestures vaguely* and i mentioned it a few times in the last few days so i may as well talk abt that one theory i like

first of all let me say. it's not my own original theory lol i can't remember where i saw it first but it's p common so it'd be a bit hard to trace who was the first to bring it up

second. i know it contradicts some themes or at least some messages bsd is going for. which is why i don't think it's too likely (on the other hand some elements in the story can def allow a plot point of that sort to happen without being contradictory asdfhg matter of perspective ig)

ANYWAY the actual theory:

dazai knows he's in a story and aware that he is a character

backup for that theory:

honestly not much. a minor fourth wall break for laughs (the "wow~" scene. you know the one) isn't really proof, but if it was true it'd add some depth to that scene i think!

the main thing i think is cool abt this theory is how it recontextualizes a lot of things about him;

the thing that made me think abt making this post is that collection of dazai saying "you can't kill me" at various points of the story. most of them have context for each scene (atsushi can't kill him bc nlh will nullify the tiger, fyodor can't kill him bc he has the power of friendship, etc), but the fact the same line repeats multiple times makes it stand out to me

so consider this: dazai is confident that he won't die because he knows he can't die before the story is over, bc that's what the narrative decided. that's why none of his suicide attempts ever work (tho you already know my opinion on why that is, in the context of the story itself). he keeps trying tho bc man. it's tiring to be aware

that being said! well. we know he's been suicidal from a very young age. he sees no meaning in the act of living. and, being a character in a story, knowing that your life is all fake, can certainly make one's life feel meaningless, huh.

and ofc, alienation from those around him, since he seems to be the only one aware of the story. he is quite literally separate from the human experience bc of this

also some more angst :) i do firmly believe dazai feels a lot of guilt, more for meta reasons than him really showing it. guilt is a very big repeating element in no longer human and its protag yozo, whom i think dazai is obviously very inspired by. soooooo now consider this :) guilt over odasaku's death. in the context of the story, there is no reason for him to feel that, more or less. maybe nothing beyond "if only i called ango out earlier" "if only i got there in time and got him help", he didn't actually cause oda's death, not more than mori did for example, and he did the best he could too.

buuuuuuut what if he's a character in a story. he doesn't know if the story is about him yet, but given how other people around him don't seem to notice they're characters, it must be, right? the narrative depends on him. and, in that narrative, odasaku ends up dying. if he didn't exist, odasaku could live (really interesting to think abt that in the context of beast, too)

actually since i brought it up. beastzai definitely seems to know he's a character. he knows his existence doesn't mean much, i mean his whole universe is just an offshoot of the main one, literally an au of canon. that's even more meaninglessness on top of canonzai's meaninglessness, and he experienced both of them at once. no wonder he ended up killing himself damn 😩 (sorry this is a joke. ik he killed himself for some noble reason. but also i bet this made it easier)

an awareness of this level can explain some things like how dazai knows things are gonna play out in certain ways - he knows he's in a story, so he knows the narrative has to end in some satisfying way. the main characters have to win, so the doa have to lose. fyodor can't kill him. and we're back to the start

problem with this theory:

that thing i mentioned abt themes and messages in bsd. a lot of the story seems to tell us dazai is HUMAN. having him aware of everything on a meta level, imo, may cheapen that message, bc that quite literally makes him More than others in the universe.

then again the story (and asagiri in interviews lol) also seems to show again and again that he is exceptional and knows best so eh. like i said, matter of perspective

how i think it might work:

no longer human lmao

yknow how it was said The Book was created by an ability (and that's probably why it caused a singularity when beastzai touched it). well. what if the whole narrative we're following, in a way, in the universe of bsd, can count as an ability too. like a combination of The Book and poe's ability, kinda. (i've seen some theories in the past abt how asagiri is gonna be the final boss of bsd lol and that he would indeed have an ability that's just. *gestures at everything* this)

sooooo while nlh can't take him out of the story physically, it nullifies his ignorance to the situation. in a way, he's out of the story because he sort of watches it from an angle others can't

ok i officially ran out of brain power. i might add more in a reblog at some other point but for now these are the only thoughts i have. if you subscribe to that theory as well, or even just thing it's cool, i would love to hear some of your ideas - what other parts of dazai and his story do you think this changes? what does it mean about his relationships with other characters? please share if you have any thoughts on the matter!!! :)

#also as usual if you disagree that's fine just be nice about it hehe #dan rambles #maybe in that future addition i will brainstorm what that means abt his relationships etc.#but feel free to do it for me :P i'm too sleepy to think now

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idontknowmyownmind · 5 months

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TBOAH Crossover

× ORV

OG!Cale, 40y.o, is transmigrated into earth as his 18y.o self

KDJ and KRS world is the same

2 or 3 years gap between Dokja (older) and Rok Soo (younger)

Cale first met Dokja when he was 7 at the park he frequently visit

They bond over Cale reading a book to Dokja or lend him a book to read beside him

Before the event Dokja killed his dad, his mom asked Cale for a help to take care of Dokja

Idk, the one who kill the dad is the mom while the son is with Cale at that time

Somehow the mom manage to prepared everything so Cale taking in Dokja

Cale doesn't even know about it

Since then, Cale has been taking care of Dokja and give him all the loves he deserves 🥰

Met Rok Soo when he was 6

Rok Soo secretly also hearing Cale reading for Dokja

Cale know but let him be

Until one day he called him over and now their group consist of three people

Rok Soo never starve for to long because Cale make sure he ate as much as he want

He took in Rok Soo first, somewhat make it happen after threatening the bastard uncle

Yes, it's older brother Dokja and younger brother Rok Soo 🥺 Kim brothers

They are not that mess up in the head because Cale make sure they got all the thing they want and deserves, from loves, attention, affection, anything

They are happier and have a more healthy mindset, even though there are some parts that still mess up due to being exposed to trauma at early ages

Apocalypse still happens

They were not together at that time, Dokja in the subway and Rok Soo somewhere else

They met at the 5 or 7 scenario or something

[Oh My God, now they have two sacrifical idiots!!]

I WILL NOT OFF LSY OR CJS, they are alive until the end 😊

Idk why but I want Cale to dissapear or so suddenly become a constellation at the beginning of apocalypse

I'm tired of the angst!! Both babies deserves all the love in the world 😭

[+][+][+][+][+][+][+][+][+][+][+][+][+][+][+][+][+]

× Bungou Stray Dogs

Rok Soo transmigrated in his 20y.o body instead of inside Cale's

A week before Harris village massacre (it still happen)

Hmm... should I make Rok Soo as transmigrator + regressor from LCF too?

Regressor Choi Han and Alver from LCF

Met Choi Han earlier

When Cale 15, he started to hear voices inside his head, 2 voices

It's Dazai and Fyodor lol

My poor baby... having those two mentaly unstable devils when he is unstable himself..

The voices kinda influence him and they can take over his body sometimes

Imagine Cale with those two personalities 😭

Cale as Fyodor will have more connection upperground while Cale as Dazai will be more tune with underground

With those two guidance, Cale will be unstoppable lol

Imagine on both side while you just do your thing without care as long as your family are safe

Since it's Dazai, Cale will form a habit of wearing bandages and something about suicide

And sincw it's Fyodor... world domination at the finest

Everyone think there are three red-hair running amok lol

[+][+][+][+][+][+][+][+][+][+][+][+][+][+][+][+][+]

× Black Butler

Cale made a deal, or contract, with Sebastian when he lost everything in his life for revenge

Rather than joining the army, he became wanderer who hunt down arms wherever they go with the help of his demon butler

The demonic contract seals are in both of his eyes, that's why he wear a blindfold but he still can see clearly

Just.. imagine, Cale standing in front of the tree near Harris Village, where his mother's ancient power was located

And it's when the group of heroes visiting that place for something

They are not shocked by his appearance but by the scattered corpses of arms around while Cale just stood blankly facing the tree

When they want to confront him, they stop because someone seemingly teleported by shadow arrived by Cale's side

They talk about something before the person teleported them somewhere

#og!cale henituse #trash of the counts family #au #crossover #orv #bsd

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miikishii · 8 months

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To Hold the Sea | Ch. 14

main masterlist

series masterpost | previous chapter | next chapter

synopsis: A.M. conversations are both your favorites.

warnings: angst, brief fighting, one single swear

Yet another hour of tossing and turning passes you by. It’s hard to wait. You wonder if Dazai feels the same. You make the hasty decision to text him,

“You up?”

A minute or two passes

“Unfortunately.”

“I can’t sleep”

“Again? Lol.” the typing bubble on the screen pops up and disappears quickly

“Yeah.”

“Do you want to talk now?” You think about his offer for a minute

“Yeah.”

“I’ll be over in 10.”

Waiting is torture. Suddenly, everything you’ve wanted to say to him is flooding through your brain, but you know, when he arrives, you’ll be at a loss for words. You sit on your couch, scrolling through anything you can just to keep yourself busy, but it doesn’t make things easier. When he knocks on your door, you open it shakily.

“Good evening,” he smirks. You stifle a laugh.

“Don’t do that. This is supposed to be serious,” You say, trying your best not to smile back. He walks in and leans over the counter, waiting for you to take your seat across from him. As you sit, you take a reserved posture. In comparison, Dazai looks very open; it’s comforting. You sit in silence for a minute.

“Uhm, you couldn’t sleep either?” you mumble.

“Not well. I’ve been lonely as of late.”

“Can’t imagine why.” he chuckles lightly. You play with your fingers idly, trying to calm your nerves.

“I wanted you to talk to me. Just talk to me, you know?” Your redundancy embarrasses you. He thinks for a moment.

“How’s Ango been?”

“This isn’t about him, it’s about you.”

“I was just curious.” He puts his hands up defensively, “I almost feel replaced.” He shrugs unseriously.

“Replaced?”

“Replaced.” Silence settles between you once more.

“I never said you couldn’t hang around anymore; You made that choice.”

“I don’t go where I’m not wanted.” You take an aggravated breath in,

“I don’t care how smart you are, don’t jump to conclusions like that.”

“I’m sure Ango would appreciate the lack of competition,” he shrugs again.

“Competition?”

“Or maybe distraction is a better word.”

“Can you stop with this… cryptic bullshit?!”

“Ango’s in love with you. Always has been,” he says casually.

“Yeah. What of it?” You give him an irritated and confused look. He looks around the room, refusing to look you in the eyes.

“Do you remember how we used to spend our days together in that cheap apartment?” he smiles.

You sigh,

“Yeah…”

“We used to have so much fun.”

“Sure; we did however we could.”

“I miss that. Now that our lives have evened out, we’ve settled. We changed.” You nod in agreement,

“We’re different from how we used to be and I don’t think I like it.” he sighs.

“Why not?” you ask, tilting your head. He stares off into the distance again, traveling through memories unknown to you.

“You were all I had left, and I was okay with that.” His words surprise you. You watch as his eyes focus on something past you. Suddenly, he turns back to you, placing his hands gently over yours.

“I want you. I have wanted you. It’s a secret I’ve made no effort to keep.”

You hesitate, “Osamu-”

“I know who I am. I know what I’ve done. But know that I have spent years struggling with myself over you. And I’d do it a thousand times over again for you to look at me as you do now.” He licks his lips quickly, anxiously,

”You’re so much kinder than me, and so much sweeter than death.” For a while, you sit looking dumbfounded as he smooths his thumbs over your knuckles. When you don’t answer, he breathes in anxiously again,

“Take your time, darling.”

“I need to think; I’m sorry.” you breathe.

“Don’t be sorry.”

“But… Don’t leave.” he smiles, seemingly relieved,

“I won’t.” He lets go of your hands and walks toward your room to settle in.

It’s always nice to have him. Even on days when he didn’t seem there, it was comforting to have a body next to yours. It’s strange, though, watching him stroll so readily to your room as if he didn’t just confess something even he struggled with. You watch his back intently before it disappears from view. You stare blankly at the space he just was; he’s gone, but he stands in front of you like a ghost. No matter where you went, it always felt like he was there.

When you walk into your room, he’s sitting as comfortably as he did the last time he was there. This time, however, he’s lying on his back, his eyes closed, and smiling to himself. Carefully, you lay down next to him.

“I missed you these past few days, you know?”

“I could only hope so,” he whispers, still smiling.

“...Are you sure about this?” You ask carefully. He rolls onto his side and faces you,

“I’ve never been more sure.” you glance at him then look back to the ceiling blankly.

“Somehow, I think it confuses me more when you’re direct,” he chuckles at this, “I spent all those years trying to catch up with you, but I felt like even if I did, you’d never look at me.”

“You don’t have to be looking at something to be focused on it; it’s not about where my eyes are, it’s about where my mind is,” he says softly, punctuating his words by looking away from you again.

“You get it though, don’t you? It’s hard to feel wanted by you when I know you.” he nods, “And half the time, I doubt I do. That’s the problem. I’ve asked for you for so long, knowing it was probably the one thing you couldn’t give.” you sigh.

“Such uneasiness lies in being loved; nowadays, to me, that’s what makes it so intriguing.”

“I’d have thought that’s why you’d turn away from it.”

“Before, yes.”

“It’s been so long since we talked like this,” You smile.

“It has. We’ve changed.”

“That we have.”

Change is often bittersweet, but this time you welcome it with pride. You feel like you’ve lived up to the expectations you had that fateful night your life changed for good. Miraculously, you have few regrets in this moment- not zero- but few.

“I’m glad we stayed together, Osamu, however we did it.” He pauses for a moment before smirking to himself,

“I wouldn’t have survived it with anyone else.” he quips. You pause to breathe in deeply,

“I think by now, I know what it means to live.”

he hums, “I’m coming closer to it.”

you turn to him as he reaches for your hand, grasping it tightly. He looks you in the eyes, staring straight through you like he tends to, but it feels different now,

“Whatever you decide to do, I don’t regret our time together. I have always held our memories dear, and no matter what happens, I’d like to make more.”

“No matter what, I promise we will.” You squeeze his hand. You have no concerns when he pulls you to his chest, letting out a breath he must’ve held for a long time. You have no trouble falling asleep listening to his heartbeat. It’s always been nice having someone to sit in limbo with.

note: You guys should be so excited

#ango x reader #dazai x reader #bungo stray dogs #bsd #bungou stray dogs #bsd x reader #bsd imagines #bsd ango #dazai bsd #dazai angst #dazai imagines #dazai fluff #ango sakaguchi #ango angst #ango fluff #bsd angst

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tobyili · 1 month

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“ BLOODY SHOT ! “

Hitman mafia! Dazai x ada! male reader

TW # ★ yandere dazai!, murder mentioned, splitting apart, angst, death— ;

A/N ᰔ ; This was specifically to made on February 20th but I got lazy lol, and also my dog was in my way and kept licking my phone so pls if any mistakes blame on my dog.

Dazai was a well known killer in the town of Yokohama, well more of a killer for you. He loves you so dearly he couldn’t kill you but if anybody touched you one bit, let’s just say, he’ll have a talk with them. But of course you never know! He could be joking or not let’s hope he is due to so much people talking to you due to your popularity in the town. You were handsome, smart, and mostly sexy and that’s what caught people the most. But for Dazai, it was your voice, your energy, and your personality.

“So I guess I finally get to meet you again… Dazai” you glared at him with a serious stare of madness due the killing and destruction he has done to the people who haven’t even hurt the organization, but you know what they say, he is a Hitman and will hit on people for you, “I missed you darling, why did you leave me?” He asked surprisingly, you guys were in a relationship before. Let’s just say it was “Lovely” in his way. “You beated my friend’s face, and killed her..” you started to point the gun at him voluntarily about to shoot with no hesitation but he stopped you an said “But darling she was touching you and you know I couldn’t allow that? Would I?” He said grinning at you very, he knows you probably can’t shoot him, that would be murder and war would start for murder of a Hitman of PM.

He loved you so much, he couldn’t just let you. Go.

“You’re fucking crazy…” Glaring at him once more about to cry, he looked at you with a soft expression. And walked away, but when he almost left “I love you ( reader )” he says walking away.

You thought to yourself. Did he really love me tho?. You started to walk back to your house and took a shower. You couldn’t keep your mind off Dazai.. and what he said, after your shower you kept thinking about Dazai over over and over again.. You just can’t stop thinking about his face, his body. Wait no what, why you thinking of him anyway..? Gosh just stop being a dumb asshole and go to bed you thought but.. He was in your mind and you couldn’t let him go so. You went to the alleyway yall used to hang in when y’all were a couple, surprisedly he was there.

“Dazai, why you here huh?” You asked.

“Wondering same thing.. what you doing here?”

Dazai glared at you, it wasn’t — a mean glare. It was an insane glare. Its was clear that he was trying to do something, you guys stared at each other for a long time like he wanted to do something but— well didn’t he know you had a gun up and ready to shoot— the matter of time of hesitation you had was at 100%, you didn’t wanna hurt him. You just wanted it over with. Soon as you shot the soon he was gone in mist dark air in midnight quiet like a room empty, you in panic and look around and didn’t look get out of stance.

There he was.

With a knife and a bloody hole in his arm.You hurt him. He falls in the snow near two rocks almost banging his head on them but failed, you ran to him and lifted him up in your arms. “DAZAI PLEASE WAKE UP” you cried, but well known he was dead. In the cold snowy night.

#dazai x reader #murder #bsd x reader #yancore #yandere #bungou stray dogs #Bungo stray dogs

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insoukokuhell-434 · 9 months

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Soukoku Fic Rec - First Kiss <3

The format I’m using is:

Title - writer (ao3 link) Fic length Time period (teen/mafia skk, 22! Skk, all ages) Additional tags (Tags in bold added by me for extra info) TW

Some fics have parts of the summary/ comments added for additional info

Only for You - StormDew2

9.9k MAFIA SKK (Post 15) Literal Sleeping Together, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Kissing, chuuya gets banned from drinking so dazai gets him some wine, Underage Drinking, Light angst

give me a kiss like a kick in the teeth - communist_sasuke

3.5k MAFIA SKK (Pre-Dark era) Kissing, Dazai is Whipped, Dazai is oblivious correction: Dazai's not oblivious he's just in denial, Chuuya Is So Done

Summary: "Not that Dazai thought Chuuya was beautiful, because that would be a bit much. He was attractive, objectively. Not that Dazai was attracted to him.

(Or, more accurately: Dazai was, in fact, very attracted Chuuya.)"

Threats Made in a Hotel Room - Moonyeyes

2k MAFIA SKK Kissing, Making out, Drinking, Sexual Tension, POV Chuuya

Cross-reference - chuuzxi

2.6k MAFIA SKK Fluff and Humor, Bickering Lots of it, Bets & Wagers, Gay Panic, Dazai Osamu is a Tease, Developing Relationship, Mutual Pining, that tag runs HARD here, Denial of Feelings, chuuya goes thru the 5 stages of grief in thirty minutes

Stitches - orphan_account

11.3k MAFIA SKK (Post 15 and Dark Era) First Kiss, Canon Compliant, Mutual Pining, Feelings Realization, Denial of Feelings

it's always been you - devantsun

2k 22 SKK Love Confessions, kind of???, telepathic soukoku strikes, Fluff and Angst, Rated T for language, softer than the tags imply lol, this is very soft in general, blink and you miss it fukuzawa x mori TW- Dazai-Typical Suicide References

of sunsets and first kisses - Bl34ry

2.5k MAFIA SKK Fluff without Plot, very soft, Fluff and Angst, Maybe a little angst, But it's very soft, and there's kissing, Awkward Conversations, Awkward Crush, this is set to before dazai met oda actually…

Fireside - littlewritergrl

1.9K MAFIA SKK First Kiss, Light Angst, Internalized Homophobia, but just a little??

Fics with good first kiss scenes

(less focused on first kisses)

the moments in between - hellcatspangledshalalala

3.7k ALL AGES Hurt/Comfort, Post-Corruption, pining, fluff, angst, fluff at the end, character study, Dazai POV, getting together, dazai’s depression

I'll Make A Home In Your Gut Because its Somewhere Warm to Sleep - arahabakii

8.9k 22 SKK Fluff, Angst, Mutual Pining, Feelings Realization, Making Out, Getting Together, Domestic Fluff, Touch-Starved Dazai, Dazai needs a hug, Chuuya needs a hug TW - Dazai-Typical Suicide References

A chance to start again - Root (Fyki)

4.4k 22 SKK Mutual Pining, Getting Together, Fluff, Introspection, they work they shit out

hey look, the sky's falling apart - saffroncassis

24.8k TEEN SKK (16/17) AU - Canon Divergence Hurt/Comfort, Protective Nakahara Chuuya, Angst, Fluff, Humor, Developing Relationship Found Family (the Akutagawa siblings, Oda's kids, Kyouka, Oda, Ango) TW- Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse and discussions of both these, also cw food for the whole fic

a piece about tensions unresolved - acuteguwu

2.1k 25 (AU) Alternate Universe - No Powers Fluff, Friends to Lovers, chuuya is a mess, dazai is no better tbh, kinda unrequited crush, First Kiss

Summary: "Chuuya’s been into Dazai for so long that it doesn’t seem relevant anymore."

the same groove - halfbloom (diphylleias)

11.3K MAFIA SKK (16), 22 SKK Feelings realization, Pining, Love Confessions, Light Angst, Happy Ending, Growing Up

Summary: "Dazai always knows too much, and too fast, whether it be for the better or for the worse. But for Chuuya, the realization comes slower, gradually, clumsily over the years"

Please like/reblog if this helped u find a fic, I'd be delighted to know <33

Soukoku Fic Rec Masterlist

#soukoku #soukoku fic rec #skk fic rec #soukoku fics #skk fics #14 in total :D #sierra’s recs #Sierra’s posts 🌸

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yuanology · 9 months

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what’s your favorite books as of now?? i’d love to hear you talk about them if you have some

HAHA this has to be honestly one of the most endearing asks i've ever had in my inbox. fair warning, i will literally be talking a lot for this one because i am first and foremost a nerd before all else. all links bring you to the books' respective goodreads page :)

remember to read through the content / trigger warnings of each book before you read them! reading should never come at the expense of your own mental well-being. be wise.

my number one current favourite novel is these violent delights by chloe gong. it's actually the first book in a duology, but i've been procrastinating on the second novel lol. the premise is a romeo & juliette retelling set in 1920s shanghai with a mafia setting and childhood lovers turned bitter enemies. it's one of my favourite tropes ever, and these violent delights executed it beautifully. honestly unsurrpised that it was as much of a hit as it was because god. it deserves it.

i also really, really, really love the seven husbands of evelyn hugo with my whole heart. the premise of it is positively stunning and i'm a sucker for tragic gay people. i lowkey jumped into it half-blind sided by the cool edits i found on instagram only to get smacked in the face with a lot more depth than meets the eye. the line about non-sexual intimacy in this book both smothered me to death and brought me back to life. i read this book in one day and walked out of it gasping for air.

i am also into the invisible life of addie larue due to the poignant way the author depicts a life without being remembered... even if the ending brutally demolished me. it was the epitome of 'immortality is a curse,' for me and it was just. fuck, man. it's fucking brilliant from the beginning to the end, and it's just a novel that i hold very close to my heart.

now, i know you said books, but i will be incomplete if not for the fanfiction i read. therefore, i will list all-time favourite fanfiction (that i remember right now). all of them are linked to archive of our own <3

being neck-deep in satosugu hell right now, i will have to start with them. i'd like to begin with my two favourite satosugu fanfictions which are caesura by cielelyse, otherwise known as the only canon 15 satosugu in my mind ever. the dynamic is fucking insane, and i cried a lot when i read it. there is also, of course, and carry my home by valleykey which i have reread despite the fact that it's 50k words and killed me brutally the first time. it follows 17!satosugu who gets time traveled towards the present time / pre-shibuya. it goes about as well as you would expect it to be.

other fics that also brutally murdered me and made me physically cry was punishment for a monster by mimiquack (suguru loses his memories post-shibuya and lives a non-sorcerer life; satoru copes...or something), i'd like the sun to set with you by chuuyasoup (satoru goes with suguru that day in shinjuku), smile like brass by chuuyasoup (role reversal au that starts with suguru being too late on that day), and laundry and taxes by hamsterqinghua (everything, everywhere, all at once au, you can guess where it goes from here). these are all angst fics that ripped a hand through my ribs and crushed my heart in their palms. there's more, but. well.

my favourite satosugu smut fics (because i am, after all, a smut author) is the midnight rendezvous series by damiselart. also, let's climb the cliff and jump again by ruche which hm, i suppose technically counts as an age gap fic because it's 28!satoru getting his shit rocked by 17!suguru (time travel finicky stuff; you know how it goes). and then, there are also these two other fics, lovesick lullabye and i'm done carrying the weight of this world (i just wanna feel this love) which are both by pastelcoloureddreams.

now, onto my next idiotic duo, i would like to present soukoku (dazai osamu / nakahara chuuya from bsd) and my favourite fics for them. starting off strong as a combination one of my favourite ships and one of my favourite books, i'd like to present empire of dirt by arkastadt which is a the seven husbands of evelyn hugo inspired soukoku fanfic with similar premise, but a massively different setting & plot. one of the best known soukoku fics for a reason. there is also, of course, i step from here without you by chuuyasoup that follows soukoku throughout the multiverse and murdered me in cold blood by the time it was done. genuinely one of the best fics i have ever read ever.

onto smut soukoku fics, everyone welcome bottom of the deep blue sea by arkastadt which is the only soukoku smut fic ever. you cannot ask me to give you a smut recommendation better than this. the premise is gorgeous, featuring an arrogant and self-assured dazai who challenges chuuya to make him cry and chuuya does. it's so fucking good.

there's definitely more that i've cut back from this list due to laziness, but feel free to ask for more if you're still interested! i was also neckdeep in hell in genshin & voltron & boku no hero academia for a while, so i should have fic recs for them, too, but i'm too lazy to hunt them down right now. if you want me to, just shoot me another ask and i'll drop the recs in the future <3

#this was way too much fun #( asks. )

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