#love the theory that hes a vampire. fun stuff

[snake-berry]

Roose Bolton

the bolton colors/sigil is my aesthetic to a t. cutesy and pink but also disgusting

dont know what eyes paler than stone but darker than milk means. what kinda stone are we talking abt here. so. i hope the color is somewhat accurate

#as long as his eyes are staring into the pits of ur soul thats what counts #roose bolton #valyrian scrolls #valyrianscrolls #asoiaf art #asoiaf fanart #asoiaf #a song of ice and fire #house bolton #love the theory that hes a vampire. fun stuff #if roose is edward then that makes walda bella #but who is jacob #roose watch ur girl bc tehres a werewolf out there trying to escape the friendzone #nothing i say in the tags ever makes sense thats my bad #im literally shaking someone buy him brown contacts PLS

[krirebr]

Congrats again on your well deserved milestone, lovely! 🥳❤️

If it sparks the muse, I would LOVE a drabble of WAM!Steve and Cole. I was so intrigued by their first part and how you wrote their dynamic and how Steve was a low key motherhen. I’d love to see more of him teaching Cole how to vampire!! Thank you! 🙏🏻

Thank you, Siri!! I so appreciate your support. 💜💜

Oh, the muse sparked hard. I wrote this one in a blink. Their dynamic is so fun for me. I hope you enjoy!

This is a few years after Steve takes Cole in.

And Gentle Persuasion

Characters: Dark!Steve Rogers, Soft!Dark Cole Turner

Warnings: blood, death, mind control, talk of humans as food, vampire stuff

We're All Monsters

“Cole.”

Cole looked up from where he was kneeling over the dead body. Steve was leaning against the door to the small cell, looking exasperated. Cole grimaced. “I don’t know how this happened,” he said.

Steve sighed and crouched down in front of him. “Yes, you do,” he said. “Tell me what happened this time.”

Cole stroked a finger down the now-dead young man’s cheek. “I just– I told him I loved him and wanted us to be together, you know? I wanted him to be mine. And he freaked out and I was just trying to calm him down, and maybe feed on him just a little, to show him how good it could be, but I was upset too. That he was being so unreasonable. And I guess I lost control.” He gestured to the blood that covered him and the floor of the cell.

Steve closed his eyes for a moment and took a breath. When he opened his eyes again, he fixed Cole with a stern look. “So,” he said, “the same thing as last time. Why didn’t you just compel him to agree to it?”

Cole looked down, embarrassed. “I wanted it to be real.”

“Honey, we’ve talked about this. You’re still trying to hang onto your humanity, but it’s gone. You aren’t human anymore, you’re something so much better. You need to start acting like it, finally embrace it. Humans, they’re just animals. They’re food. Pets at the very most. They are here to serve us. We want something from them, we take it. Any vampire who treats them as equals has lost touch with what we are. Do you understand?”

Cole nodded. He did. Or he was trying to. Steve had been over it with him so many times. Cutter, too. Everyone here, really. But. He’d just– he’d always wanted to find the one when he’d been human and he never had. He thought maybe now that he was something more, that power was thrumming through his veins and Steve had taught him how to harness it, that he’d finally be able to find someone. But he still hadn’t. Maybe Steve was right, maybe he was looking in the wrong place.

Steve placed a gentle hand on Cole’s cheek, pulling him from his thoughts. “You know I’m only this upset because you keep doing this to menu items. We won’t have anything left to serve at the bar at this rate.”

Cole leaned into Steve’s hand. “I know,” he whispered. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright, sweetheart,” Steve said and stood up. “Come on, I’ll have someone come clean this up.”

Cole stood up too and started to leave the cell, not looking back at the body. “Cutter’s gonna be pissed.”

Steve smiled, “Cutter’s always pissed. You leave her to me.” Cole took a few steps into the hallway before Steve stopped him with a hand on his shoulder. “Hey, if it’s just a feed and a fuck you need, you come to me and I’ll get it for you. You know I’ll always take care of you.”

Cole gave him a bashful grin back. “Yeah, I know,” he said and thought for the millionth time how lucky he was that Steve had been the one to find him.

Kris's 700 Celebration

Tag lists are open

@stargazingfangirl18 @yenzys-lucky-charm @thezombieprostitute @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory @bval-1 @km-ffluv @texmexdarling @ladyvenera @roxyfan14-blog @darkserenity24 @femefetalelevelingup @moonlightttfae @lokislady82

#ask kris #kris's 700 celebration #we're all monsters #steve rogers #cole turner #captain america #ghosted #follower celebration #stargazingfangirl18 #kris wrote something #asks are always welcome

[numbermislocated]

My Fionna and Cake episode 7&8 tangent

Lets start it off with the score. 20/20 it was fantastic. my stupid theory post will happen eventually, and I will ABSOLUTELY TALK ABOUT PETRIGROF

The star - Cake thinking Fionna was upset cause her fling died was silly, Fionna was clearly upset before about the candy people. The fight with the vampires was funny but intense, I love how Cake and Fionna care a lot about eachother. Also why does Simon know what holy water taste like. Pb and "Star" was so cute, and I was so right when I talked about us getting more Bubbline on tiktok (Tiktok account is not linked anywhere btw) The vampire world is super sad though, cause they had really been eating for so long, that a potential thousands of people died. Marshall and Gary really lit up the episode from the sadness once again, Gary's tangents of his candy kingdom are so cute. AND HIS HAMBO THINGY IN HIS CAR. Marten and baby Finn are so cute, I wanna legit cry cause HES MEANT TO BE A GOOD DAD BUT HES SO STUPID IN THE OG UNIVERSE. Also imma say this now, Prismo gets in trouble for breaking the rules once and ignoring a few beeps, BUT Scarab ignores several beeps and his entire job and doesn't get in trouble, that boss better have a good reason. Second date (potentially) and Marshall already introducing his boyfriend to his mom, damn. Marshall's mom matches og Hunson perfectly somehow, duche parent club. And Marshall's little blush of embarrassment from his mom acting all weird infront of Gary. Billy's corpse is messed up, like reall messed up, and the reminder of how tall he is is also crazy. I was also wondering the entire time if Pb was human in this universe until she bit off half her arm basically. The Star's outfit is so good, but I wonder how she turned into a vampire now, maybe she was bit in front of that worlds Simon's body and thats why she screamed at something. Already long section so I'll end it here with, I LOVED THIS ENTIRE EPISODE, Huntress dying was sad though, and Gary Marshall kiss was adorable. Closing thought of this episode, Bubbline but toxic yuri. Jerry - Simon and Betty better get a happy ending or I will legit be so sad, they love each other so much, and Betty just legit became part of a god over her Fiance once celebrity crush. I love how gorgeous everything is in this show, Orbo is also a funny character. I feel like someone could narrow down where things and places they go in this Lich's wish universe it'd seem fun at first then spiral though. Simon does NOT know how to draw though get this man an art class. The tree house being naked though, all its leaves gone. Lich's wish to kill all life, really just unironically killed ALL life, down to plants. Fun little references to old episodes, and including one that revolved around Ice king, hmm. Also I wonder the age gap between Betty and Simon, I like to see it as they're like a year apart but Simon just skipped grades cause hes a smart cookie. Also Simon had slides ready for people to be loud, HE WAS READY. Nerd girls in love. I am also guessing Bmo has been alone for awhile now, at least since season 5ish times since thats when the Lich would have made this wish. All the references in Ice King's junk from the melted ice kingdom. Ninja guide books, kunai, vhs tapes and the camera, the pink diary, his bed has the wishing amulet that Gunter used to break bottles. I was RIGHT

Fionna see's how unhealthy Ice King was, and changes her mind and wants him to not become this sad sad man again. Simon would genuinely be such a sweet and wonderful parent, he loved taking care of the babies in the baby universe, and he sees Fionna get happy when he tells his story with Betty and keeps doing it to keep her happy. Neddy is also guaranteed dead, already obvious but the candy kingdom doesn't have the juices being produced. Bmo has done a lot in his isolation, a lot of stuff is changed or moved, I feel so bad for bmo. But the lines "Help me zip up my bra" and "Ooo, butt stuff" Wow. The Simon and Betty stuff makes me so happy, they're so cute and I love them, they need to have a happy ending or I will be so sad. The lesbians ever, I love these lesbians, let the lesbians be happy. Simon struggling to say he loves her is so CUTE. Poor Bmo, I feel so bad, but he was probably so sad being alone, sad in someway. Petrigrof moment was so cute and adorable please, I want them so happy, they deserve to be happy. Now for the bombshell, Jerry. The Lich's wish monkey paw aspect is that he gets depressed and has nothing to do now that all life is gone. Billy's body decomposing as the Lich parasites it. SO, imma theory my reason for the portal finally opening to GolBetty, either it was because the Lich was used as the battle and influenced it in a way to allow it to finally work, OR Betty's wish to keep Simon safe truly included the crown being worn. Like the crown really did trigger GolBetty like "BITCH, NO" or the third that makes probably the most sense, The Scarab was literally about to kill Simon and go against what Betty wants, meaning she is going to interfere. I saw someone say that GolBetty likely wont remember Simon and this could cause something. BUT I REALLY HOPE THEY DONT DO THAT, I WANT THEM HAPPY SO BADLY

#long post #adventure time #simon petrikov #fionna and cake #atimers #I waited all day for this and now I am already too excited to wait until next thursday #I dont want it over #but I do wanna see my favorite characters happy #please please please please let them be happy

[yuri-is-online]

You Simple Vile Monstrosity: Rook and the Flowers of Evil

My other two dumb history posts have at least a semblance of fun fact to them, but this is mostly going to be literary analysis and some theory. There's some interesting stuff here sure, but I don't really think it adds much to the overall landscape of twst theories. But it does make Rook make more sense to me so I am making this post anyway.

So without further ado, if you are like me and enjoy reading twst theories, you might know that the beginning lines of Twisted Wonderland are something we have been debating the meaning of since the game came out really. While I think we have been closing in on their true meaning as Chapter 7 progresses along, the phrase "Flowers of Evil" can actually refer to something specific: a french poetry collection of the same name (Les Fleurs du mal in french) by a poet name Charles Baudelaire originally published in 1857. The collection was extremely controversial, but today it is highly lauded and has inspired several other literary works, including a manga series by Shūzō Oshimi of the same name. I found out about the poetry collection while working on this request and finally finished reading it... and another essay by Baudelaire for reasons we can talk about later on in the post. For now let's talk poetry.

Beauté! 100 Points!

I don't speak french, so I read an English translation done by Aaron Poochigian that does contain the original french text in the back half of the book. The Flowers of Evil is split into seven-ish parts: The Flowers of Evil (just containing "To the Reader"), Spleen and the Ideal, Parisian Scenes, Wine, Flowers of Evil (again but with 12 poems this time), Revolt, and then Death. The sections are more or less organized by the subject of the poems, Spleen and the Ideal is the largest with Baudelaire musing over what the ideal concept of beauty is while Wine deals with getting drunk (on wine mostly if you can believe it.) One of the things that jumps out very quickly about Baudelaire's work is that his concept of beauty is almost synonymous with his concept of evil. He writes a lot about maggots eating corpses, about decay, he has a few poems that talk about vampires appearing to be the highest form of beauty but really being husks of rotted flesh; it's all very much about this acceptance that evil is a part of life and human nature, so therefore there must be beauty in it. The concept of "ideal beauty" must by it's nature be divorced from the concept of "morality." When Rook talks about the potential for Leona or Malleus to kill him and how beautiful that would be, I think he means the act of destruction itself would be beautiful. The circumstances surrounding it and the consequences of it are irrelevant to the concept; this is also why while he initially says he cannot find the crimson lotuses in GloMas beautiful Deuce accuses him of doing just that after everything is said and done. He cannot find beauty in Rollo's actions, but the visual and the fight are beautiful because of the effort he and the other students put in to stop them. And perhaps most importantly, it's why he is willing to drink Vil's poison and look upon what is supposedly ultimate ugliness and say "In this moment you are the fairest of them all." Because how could an act born out of such raw and genuine emotion be anything but?

Le Chasseur D'Armour, The Hunter of Love

Baudelaire wasn't just a poet, he fancied himself a critic and wrote multiple essays, the one I read for this post is The Painter of Modern Life. Which is actually a collection of several but they are all related, and I was directed to them by this wordpress post. In it, Baudelaire muses over how things can be both beautiful and ugly, and why:

"Beauty is made up of an eternal, invariable element, whose quantity it is excessively difficult to determine, and of a relative, circumstantial element... which severally or all at once, the age, its fashions, its morals, its emotions."

He was talking about fashion plates that depicted outdated costumes, but his point was more or less that if you strictly look at the design of the costume they look ridiculous: ugly. But when you take into account their historical value (these particular plates were all from the around the time of the French revolution) they become exceedingly important: beautiful. He also mentions in this same essay the importance of not just taking into account the opinions of so called "masters" and sneers at people who think they understand what is beautiful just because they have seen a painting done by a professional:

"... to declare that Raphael, or Racine, does not contain the whole secret, and that minor poets too have something good, solid and delightful to offer... that we might love general beauty, as it is expressed by classical poets and artists, we are no less wrong to neglect particular beauty, the beauty of circumstance and the sketch of manners."

In chapter 5, while helping Vil judge the auditions for VDC, Rook gives every audition 100 points because, well, in his mind they are all an example of perfect beauty specifically because they are the work of amateurs, and that is no less valuable to him or less worthy of praise that the work of the master. Now granted he clearly does value professional quality (he did have reasons for voting for Neige other than being a massive simp. Valid ones even if loosing does sting) but that's only in the context of strict rules and guidelines. When Rook is asked for his opinion, while he certainly does believe there is an absolute, academic definition beauty, he doesn't place any value on where that beauty comes from. Baudelaire muses over how human life "accidentally" puts mysterious beauty into the world, and the true appreciator of beauty must make himself not strictly a poet but:

"...an observer of life, and only later set himself the task of acquiring the means of expressing it... For most of us... the fantastic reality of life has become singularly diluted. [But he] never ceases to drink it in; his eyes and memories are full of it."

I strongly dislike suggesting in these posts that xyz is "the definitive reason" for why a character acts the way that he does, but I do think it is very interesting how well this describes Rook's ethos. He thinks of himself as a hunter, but in order to do that he needs to observe. Sure he takes it to exceptionally extreme lengths, but it makes him one of the most lively members of the NRC cast. Baudelaire is right, there are a million things about life we miss on a day to day basis wherein true beauty lies, but Rook sees all of it. His eyes, memories, camera, and secret photo albums are fit to burst with it.

My Noble and Beautiful Flower of Evil

I mentioned the opening text at the beginning of this post, and I stand by my interpretation that the phrase "flower of evil" it uses likely is not a specific reference to any of the poems themselves... beyond the obvious note that it is a collection of poems about finding beauty in, well, evil and most of the characters are based off of villains.

But there was something that started gnawing at me when I read the introduction to my translation, which was written by a poet named Dana Gioia. It was a very well written summary of Baudelaire's life and the significance of his work, but it mentioned a connection that I have seen brought up in twst theorizing before: Edgar Allen Poe.

You see, Baudelaire was obsessed with Poe. To the point that (according to the introduction) "He considered Poe a sacred martyr for art and referred to him as 'Saint Edgar.' In his morning devotions, Baudelaire prayed first to God and then to Poe."

I have nothing to say on that (because really what could you) but the point that Gioia wanted to make in that introduction was that Poe had a massive influence on Baudelaire's writing style. He wrote multiple essays on his work and translated them into French because he felt like Poe deserved the recognition, so while Gioia used this to argue that Poe's influence on Baudelaire shouldn't be underestimated...

I can't find the post, but someone was talking about how Malleus's mother's name Meleanor is very similar to "Lenore" and I recall people sort of brushing that connection off. I don't that name is a coincidence. I think the poem "Lenore" might very well have been something thought about when constructing her character, and that the themes in Poe's work might be very relevant to the overall story of Twisted Wonderland.

Something about ravens and telltale hearts just feels like they fit; maybe we have got it all wrong and Yuu's visions aren't coming from the mirror in Ramshackle, but the floorboards.

Semi- Unrelated Fun Facts:

If you read the name Baudelaire and thought to yourself it sounded familiar, you might have be thinking of the Baudelaire children from A Series of Unfortunate Events. This isn't exactly a coincidence as the author of the series admits to his writing being heavily influenced by Charles Baudelaire to the point he actually wrote the afterword to the translation I own.

Dana Gioia is the former Poet Laureate of the state of California, something that deeply confused me. Apparently the Governor of California appoints someone to a 2 year term and they travel around the state to promote poetry and literacy which is apparently something that 46/50 U.S. states and D.C. does to????

My glorious motherland of Pennsylvania is not one of these states, apparently we only ever appointed one, then eliminated the position entirely after he retired, and then started just. Handing out ones to people in individual cities and counties. Which is so par for the course here I don't know why I am surprised.

One of the first things any college level literature course will try to drill into you is that you don't examine the life of an author when examining their work. It might sound silly, but I think Baudelaire is a great example of why that's important. The man was addicted to drugs and sex, refused to get a "real job", lived off his inheritance from his wealthy father and eventually whatever money he could convince his mother to send him his entire adult life, and had her use her political connections to bail him out of legal trouble multiple times.

If I thought too hard about that it would make his lines in "Skeleton Laborers" (Nothingness is treacherous.//Even Death is a deceiver.//Alas, forever and ever,//work may be awaiting us) fall terribly flat, which I think does them a disservice. The man was very talented and I am glad he wrote them because I felt very seen when I read them.

Baudelaire opened his publication with a note to the reader, but he made it a full poem entitled "To the Reader." I liked the ending stanza so much I used a version of it to title my blog, and eventually my current masterlist: (Boredom! Moist-eyed, he dreams, while pulling on//a hookah pipe, of guillotine-cleft necks.//You, reader, know this tender freak of freaks-//hypocrite reader-mirror-man-mytwin!)

Likewise the title of this post is also taken from part of a poem, "Hymn to Beauty" (Beauty, you simple, vile monstrosity,//I cannot care about your origin,//provided that your gaze, smile, feet show me//a sweet infinity I have never known.) I think that fits Rook's ideals rather well, don't you?

#twisted wonderland #twst rook #rook hunt #character analysis #twst theories

[panlight]

If every vampire were to have a special gift, which would be unique for them, which would Rosalie, Emmett, Esme and Carlisle have?

I've answered a version of this before but it's fun to revisit!

I think I usually say that Rosalie would have something similar to Heidi of the Volturi's gift, that her enhanced beauty would get some psychic element and spill over to superpower. And I still think that is the most logical thing, but it's not super exciting. It's predictable. Rosalie is also big into family, and into justice (sometimes revenge), and she's very determined. Any of that stuff could have been enhanced, too. Maybe she has an always correct gut instinct about people in dangerous domestic situations. She doesn't 'hear' things like Edward or 'see' them like Alice, she just knows. And can intervene.

Likewise the obvious answer for Emmett is that his super strength somehow spills over into a superpower. Maybe even MORE strength or he himself is so strong he's basically invulnerable to attack (can't bite through his skin, can't rip him apart). The other option is that the strength is not the focus, like how Edward for some reason is also super fast even though he already has mind-reading. Emmett can be super strong and have something else entirely. Maybe a cheerful aura like Didyme had, or maybe being near Emmett puts you in a party mood, or a work-out mood, or just makes you feel chill and supported. Literally gives off Bro Vibes, but in a good way.

Honestly have always kind of felt like the shield thing would have worked for Esme almost better than Bella. Bella loves fiercely, sure, and she has her protected mind, but Esme loves EVERYONE with the intensity that Bella loves Edward (not romantic in all cases obviously, just talking about the strength of Esme's love) and with that love would come with a desire to protect. A shield could do that. But maybe it's more like Renata's shield, it doesn't protect against psychic attacks, but physical ones. Or maybe Esme's love just radiates out of her so strongly that she could stand in front of those she loves and enemies just . . . can't bring themselves to hurt her to get to the others. Makes everyone instantly remember their mother or a beloved parental/familial figure and the line of Volturi guards just turn into blubbering messes as Esme comforts them.

Again the obvious one with Carlisle, I think, is some kind of healing ability. I know I've said this myself before. But he wasn't a doctor in his human life, that's a choice he made after becoming a vampire. The literally meaning of compassion is "to suffer with," so maybe his gift would be more of a thing where he can take the suffering from someone else by feeling it himself. Whether he actually takes the illness and cures them, or just takes the pain so they aren't suffering anymore, idk. I mean he's a vampire so he can't die, and I don't think any illness could survive the stone-and-venom environment of SM's vampire physiology anyway. And there's a theory floating around fandom that he does have a power in the sense that he unconsciously draws people to him; thus building a family and building allies and being able to blend in with the human world when humans usually subconsciously find vampires off-putting.

But at the end of the day I like that they don't have any supernatural powers. I feel like sometimes the superpower just overwhelms the character and they get reduced to that rather than a more nuanced personality. I think Carlisle's more interesting and impressive because he has accomplished what he has accomplished without one. I think Esme keeping a family united by love rather than a 'real' power is lovely. That Emmett bringing the fun because that's just WHO he is and not what he can do is cool. That Rosalie is just determined and focused and smart and THAT's why she is what she is and does what she does rather than some power is awesome.

#asks

[cascadiums]

Ooh, come back here and tell me more about Quincey never needing to be woken up (I am 80% sure I am aware of the Thing with Quincey Morris)

(under a cut because I'm talking about the end of the book so first time readers, please skip. also forgive me, I got distracted and ended up on a wider thing of what the hell is up with Quincey in general)

I first encountered the Something Is Wrong With Quincey Morris theories in university. My seminar tutor was convinced that Bram Stoker had been to the US between drafts of Dracula and something happened to make him disillusioned with the politics of the country, and so he edited Quincey Morris to be more ambiguous and less heroic. Before that I hadn't noticed Quincey was sort of weird, but once it got pointed out, I couldn't drop it, and that led me to this:

Simmons, James R. “‘If America Goes on Breeding Men Like That’: ‘Dracula’s’ Quincey Morris Problematized.” Journal of the Fantastic in the Arts, vol. 12, no. 4 (48), 2002, pp. 425–36.

I don't have the pdf but jstor gives you free online access to so many papers per month if anyone wants to read.

It's not the first published text on the topic, but it's the first one I read that argued Quincey is a vampire. It's a very entertaining read, it sets up all the evidence like an Agatha Christie plot and makes Quincey seem really suspicious, for reasons such as:

There is no evidence in the novel that he sleeps because he's always patrolling for bats or happens to have already got up when people go to wake him

His transfusion doesn't help Lucy

It's never explained who drugged the servants in Lucy's house right before he coincidentally appears

He fired a gun into the house, what the hell Quincey

Why the hell is a cowboy here anyway? Seems suspicious, he must be undead

For me it veers between very compelling and verging on silly, but it's definitely fun. It sort of feels like the middle ground between literary analysis and a conspiracy theory. But let's face it, there is definitely something wrong with Quincey.

So many people don't even know he's in Dracula. He barely ever makes it into adaptations despite being the man who kills the Count. Arguably, the Big Hero of Dracula. The first guy to mention vampires in Dracula. He should be iconic. Instead, even a lot of gothic lit textbooks forget he's even there. He just sort of.,, falls out of the narrative. I don't know what it is, but something about the way Quincey is written makes him lose significance. His death scene is actually really fucking interesting too! Ties in with some major symbolic themes, is really sad, and yet doesn't make much impact outside of the text. Something is Weird with him.

Some of the theories I've seen include him being a double agent and he's Dracula's real assistant (I guess Renfield is just the distraction?), he's undead, he's a werewolf (okay, I can't find any evidence of this one now but unless it was a weird dream, I swear I read it somewhere), and that he's the result of a passive aggressive character assassination of the US by Bram Stoker because he fell out of love with the notion of cowboys.

I have to confess, I am obsessed with all these theories. I don't really think most of them work, but I am obsessed with them regardless. Because whatever is going on, Quincey Morris is an Outsider. He's like the Count and Van Helsing but in some ways moreso. They get so much more dialogue than him to give you an idea of their mindset, so however separated from the other characters they are, the reader can access them. But Quincey is laconic. His past is ambiguous, his necessity to the plot is apparently debatable, and his actions are kind of baffling. The story treats him very strangely, and theories like that try to bridge the gap.

I don't know, I guess this is sort of reader-response theory? For me it's less about the content of the theories and more about the existence of the theories. Something Is Wrong With Quincey Morris is evidence of some weird stuff going on in the text with the narrative not knowing how to treat him. The novel simulated a battle between historic Europe and modern Britain, and somehow America won, which nobody realised was an option and so the whole thing folded in on itself and erased the cowboy from our collective consciousness.

#dracula daily #quincey morris favourite weird guy #animate-mush

[syrips]

thinking about the poll/post (omg i found it!!) asking about if strahd would be a vampire ascendant and i decided to ramble about it along with other random things because dont mind if i do indulge!! hehe

shoutout to @/thecatslug for inspiring me to colorcode my rambles because oh my god i love colors. also sorry the color code might not make sense its just syrips color coded my brain likes it gfdgdfg

ravenloft / bg3 spoilers below:

so, im not sure if the question meant 'would strahd be considered a vampire ascendant' or if it meant 'could strahd become a vampire ascendant', so i decided ill try to answer this: would strahd be considered a vampire ascendant? sorry if this wasnt the original question i just wanted to ramble honestly

before we get into the fancy nitty gritty stuff, let's take a look at the details of four main things apparently i cant count heh, get it, count? anyways im not fixing that four sorry numbers are hard

Vellioth the Martinet

Baldur's Gate's Master Vampire List

The Black Mass Scroll As A Whole

Cazador and Jander (what?)

Strahd

-----

Vellioth the Martinet

so, random fun theory that no one asked but i just wanna ramble it. did you know that 'vellus' means fleece or wool?

just gonna leave this here. unrelated to anything else btw i just wanna ramble it.

random wiki stuff:

"vellus / villus / veillier = fleece, shaggy tuft hair, wool villi = in france, to watch over martinet = wikipedia: 'in English, the term martinet usually refers not to the whip but to those who might use it: those who demand strict adherence to set rules and mete out punishment for failing to follow them.' vellus hair = 'peach fuzz'"

🩸✨💛 random theory no one asked for 💛✨🩸

vellioth has hair with:

color range: peach (fuzz) to wheat blonde

length: medium to long

type/shape/texture: curly to kinky; 'shaggy/woolly sheep' texture

anyways back to the actual stuff.

... hi.

so! the narrator/cazador describe Vellioth as 'ancient', or at least they call his skull ancient? which is very strange to me for two main reasons. Vellioth isn't old. and i know, 'but syrips, you say everyone isn't old because strahd's a big old dusty super elder!.' and yea. hehe youre right. but for now, just remember this - Vellioth was Baldur Gate's Master Vampire from 1204 DR to 1276 DR. this will be important in a moment, not even because of the age, but because what ill describe below.

-----

Baldur's Gate's Master Vampire List

so. one thing that i see thrown around a bit, is that people may assume that the vampire list left by Lady Incognita is based on birth and death or other stuff, but! i will clarify it a bit:

the title of Master Vampire does not mean the previous one's destruction or death. it only means their defeat upon someone else taking the throne. sure, they may occur at the same time, but one can take over without killing the former.

the master vampire list is a self-proclaiming title, and one that others can attempt to contest

each city/point of interest has their own master vampires fighting in their own little territories. we only see those of baldur's gate. not of waterdeep. not of other towns or cities or locations. if you're feeling the vtm clan vibes/drama, then youre absolutely right! cazador penpalling another master vampire to brag about his master vampire status in baldur's gate is both him bragging and him potentially preparing to claim other places once he ascends

the master vampire title gives no actual vampiric, magical, or physical power. it's an entirely a social construct, in the most literal way possible. it provides social influence, social intimidation, etc. but, it's just like putting on a mundane tiara. grats, i guess.. its shiny at least-

anyways, this stuff is mostly put down just to say - nothing about this "Master Vampire" status is about ascension, power, and/or 'special abilities'. it's a moot point/status. which leads to why the master vampires need other ways to gain power.. which is why.. woah! cool transition to-

-----

The Black Mass Scroll As A Whole

if you got this far then thanks for reading. sit up and hydrate because it's time to talk about the black mass and why you need to be in tip top shape for reading this part. ahem:

the black mass scroll is not just one ritual, it is a collection of Vellioth's schooling, a list of rites/rituals, details of soul, divine (good, neutral, and evil) magic, and the methods of manipulation of the soul, divinity, and magic.

tl;dr - the black mass scroll is a list of lists. a collection of collections. the black mass scroll is.. an archive!

one could say it is massive. heh. anyways yea, the mass is a double meaning - a mass in the ritual sense, but also the meaning of 'a bunch of somethings.'

why is this important though? well. because this black mass has 'all the ways death can be turned to one's advantage or made more interesting', such as 'The Rite of Perfect Slaughter' and the 'Rite of Profane Ascension.'

so, let's talk about the Rite of Perfect Slaughter, which is actually fairly easy - Cazador killed Vellioth in the Rite of Perfect Slaughter. yet, Vellioth, who should be 'dead,' is recalling this. we should note, both of these people are undead. and undead death doesnt always work in the same way as complete removal/destruction. literally look at the other undead/'dead' in bg3 itself. look at those who 'died' in ravenloft. yet, some return, despite being 'killed' in the human perceived way.

either way, all we can confirm, based on this Rite of Perfect Slaughter, is that it removed Vellioth's authority/status as a Master Vampire. that is literally all the information we have right now. anything else is speculation, theory, or even deception by an undead or someone affiliated. which makes me wonder, who came up and formed that name, the "Rite of Perfect Slaughter"? cazador and vellioth both have a distorted view of what 'perfection' means, and we've seen cazador lie/hide information that will work against him. and also, Vellioth was laughing as cazador did the Rite on Vellioth. why didnt cazador and astarion laugh together when astarion performed the Rite of Ascension? because cazador didnt want the rite used on him. i guess the point of all of this is, who originally discovered or created the Rite of Perfect Slaughter? because, we dont know! for all we know, Vellioth couldve wanted to be 'killed' to give his soul to someone else, to preserve his vampirism/unlife or something. afterall, the black mass has 'all the ways death can be turned to one's advantage.' it doesnt say by who benefits from it. but anyways. the origin isnt really relevant for this, i just wanted to point out that these Rites are all a various and mixed collection of times, rituals, affiliations, and intentions - most that we dont even know fully, if at all of who benefits from it. and, considering we dont even know what some mean, or who made them, the original people who discovered them may not even be Cazador or Vellioth.

why? or how?

because, the line Astarion says when he picks up the Black Mass Scroll: "[Cazador] stole everything, even [Vellioth's] precious rules."

it doesnt matter who made the rites, rituals, weird strange description/stuff. all that matters is that Cazador has the entire bundle of stuff that is from previous vampires and creatures. and, the symbolism that Astarion picks it up and takes it, means the collection of potential power - of The Black Mass Scroll - Astarion is the current inheritor of potential power.

-----

Cazador and Jander (what?)

now, reader. you might be like. 'syrips, what does this have to do with if Strahd is considered a vampire ascendant? why is jander being brought in here?? im so confused, just answer the question about strahd!' well, too bad! you gotta wait! into the sealed tomb with leo dilisnya you go!

anyways! what we learned so far (as well as random rambling cuz why not):

cazador literally takes things that aren't his

cazador learned this from 'ancient' vellioth

Vellioth become a master vampire at 1204 DR of baldur's gate

Cazador became one at 1276 DR of baldur's gate

but! let's take a quick look and compare this to our beloved Jander Sunstar's lore:

they are incredibly weak when compared to an already existing Jander and strahd, as Anna has existed on the sword coast beginning around 970 DR

not only does time work differently in barovia, but in Toril / DR time, strahd already exists at this point as The Vampire. he is already the ruler of barovia, as well as the center of attention in the domains of dread

time isnt really important here, but its worth noting this because of Jander. not only did he kill his vampire master (which can be considered a 'vampiric ascension,' as you break the chains and limits of your master and are now free to grow in vampiric abilities), but he literally wielded an ancient and holy relic that vellioth and cazador could not even imagine to do.

and, not only did Jander do that, but he challenged the cause of vampirism and was brought by the mists into barovia. he was a candidate to challenge the master, founder, and origin of vampirism - strahd. Jander had the potential to ascend. to break free from the true master and curse, of The Vampire.

anyways, jander (and astarion) is a great reference character for vampire ability when comparing vellioth and cazador to jander/strahd.

but yea. tl;dr - jander makes vellioth and cazador look really pathetic. like baby levels pathetic. vampire ascension is about going 'backwards/upwards' on the vampiric bloodline tree, gaining your agency back so that you can climb up the ranks to more 'potent/ancient' generations. basically, it's about being free to go as far/deep as you can attempt. ascension is not about 'the removal of weaknesses', it's about 'the reduction of vampiric inferiority'. and, being unable to be in the sun is not of inferiority. they can go in the sun, but it will hurt. what one cannot do without suffering, teamwork, pacts, and/or luck, however, is breaking their seal on the master they're forced to be inferior to. even in the cazador fight, the only thing that saved astarion was literally the tadpole helping to reduce his inferiority with cazador. on a side note, vellioth laughing at cazador during the rite of perfect slaughter makes me believe that vellioth benefitted and only caused cazador to descend deeper, instead of ascend.

anyways. back to cazador. the only way that he can reduce the vampiric inferiority (as well as ascend himself) is for him to confront more and more ancient vampires, you know. like what jander attempted. but, cazador doesnt want to do that. instead, he works with an archdevil to attempt a cheap temporary bandaid/loophole around the wrong problem. instead of focusing on his own inferiority complex heh pun intended, he focuses on how to get a tan and how to be less thirsty..? like. what? either he has no idea what hes doing, or he believes removing all weaknesses and flaws will make him a more perfect vampire. what a silly head.

anyways. the rite of 'ascension.'

yea, let's go into that!

what is the Rite of Ascension??

here you go, reader!

---

🎇🩸🏹 The Rite of Profane Ascension 🏹🩸🎇

Oh, piteous dead! Oh, ravenous dead!

syrips translator: oh pathetic hungry un/dead people!

Immortality is your gift, but darkness is your prison and hunger its gaoler.

syrips translator: you can't be out in the (sun)light, and your hunger imprisons you because youre in denial of how to manage your vampirism.

The Rite of Profane Ascension will release you. Walk in the sun. Suffer not from hunger. Grow your power beyond anything you imagined.

syrips translator: with just 7 payments of 999.99 souls, you too can remove the ailments of sun allergies and midnight cravings! call now to receive your 'ascension' kit!

A pact has been made with the Lord of Hellfire. Deliver unto him seven thousand souls, each bearing an Infernal mark, and you shall be free of your chains. You shall know true power.

syrips translator: -fast disclaimer speak- your sun and anti-hunger status is not actually included or garaunteed. you are agreeing to the terms and conditions that you are only receiving the kit to build and perform the sun and anti-hunger ritual. 'free of your chains' is only used to describe the 'chains of darkness and hunger' and nothing else. purchase not necessary to be 'ascended.' call now and begin your journey!!

Deliver the souls.

syrips translator: i really dont care who gives me the souls. just gimmy. thanks

Speak the words.

syrips translator: okay the actual pact is below. everything else was just to hype you up and was just the advertisement, hehe! anyways. anyone who says the ritual below with the right components is all i care about. because the stuff below is the actual trade. and no, you didnt get scammed. this isn't a vampire ascension, it's just an advertisement targetted towards a vampiric audience. you read the terms and conditions correctly, right? silly guy.

Ecce dominus,

syrips translator: "(google translate) Behold, the Lord" / 'uhh hi -opens trade window-'

Has animas offero in sacrificio,

syrips translator: "(google translate) I offer these souls in sacrifice," / -puts 7k stack of souls in trade window- 'here's the actual trade that you wanted -presses confirm trade-'

Nunc volo potestatem quam pollicitus es mihi.

syrips translator: "(google translate) Now I want the power you promised me." / -presses accept- so this trade goes against the ToS but.. youll give me the power i asked for, right?... oh thank god i was so afraid. illegal ingame-to-irl-currency trades are so scary.. thank god, or thank meph in this case haha get it- oh okay im leaving.. s-sorry.. thanks..-

-----

Strahd

wooo hooo! we made it back to the original question!! we did it!!

now, lettuce answer this question that we we've been waiting on for so long. i dont want to leaf you hanging.

would strahd be considered a vampire ascendant?

big drum roll! bhrrrbhrbrhbhrr!!

-cough-

..

no.

...

-leaves-

-returns-

okay so. why isnt strahd considered a vampy ascendant?

well, before we talk about that. let's consider what a 'vampire ascendant' is considered, by Vellioth, Cazador, and the Rite of Profane Ascension's terms:

an 'ascended vampire' is just one who has the ailments of sunlight and hunger removed by the process of this specific ritual. remember that line i said of a Master Vampire being a moot point? well.. to burst the blood bubble, the "Ascended Vampire" line isnt a literal 'vampire ascension'. it's also a moot point, in its own way. but not as mooty, it's more of like a half-truth. like something an archdevil would do to tempt someone into doing something for a small dose of infernal - not raw vampiric - power in return. take note that nowhere in the actual ritual lines does it talk about ascension, let alone vampiric ascension. all it talks about is to say the words 'you made a promise.. i hope you keep it..pls gimmy Infernal powers..'

you know how raphael is making a deal with you and how off it feels? that's because youre not ascending when he mutes your tadpole. he's just using his abilities to manipulate/mold something in you with his powers. that's how this ritual also is. it's just a half-truth, unempathetic advertisement, masked as a pact so that the one who does it feels satisfied, despite the archdevil just receiving much more power than the one who sacrificed all the souls.

but, let's say this ritual is legitimate, and one does 'ascend' by the archdevil's abilities to remove the ailments. so, they are technically 'rising,' in a way. they are becoming a 'stronger infernal-gifted vampire' because of less weaknesses. but, what are they trying to ascend to? what is the purpose of removing all of these weaknesses? why go through all of this?

because. they hunger. they want power. they want true immortality. they want to remove all weaknesses in mortal life and immortal unlife to have free agency, without inferiority to anything. they want to be able to transcend time, space, and death, to be on a level of the highest peak of vampirism.

and, of course. who would that be? who would be the most ancient, powerful vampire, cursed and imprisoned by their own success in achieving what other vampires can only dream of?

who was imprisoned not from failure, but from succeeding too well that something else had to intervene?

anyways, as much as i love stroking strahd's ego LOl i keep going tho, his novel-canon potential is severely higher than the CoS potential. but, through all the modules, novels, and other media, it's still heavily implied that strahd's major weakness is tatyana. if he had tatyana, or felt he was losing the chance to pursue her, if he lost this weakness, he would unironically be scarily unstoppable. the only thing stopping strahd from being a huge dictator or even more power-hungry tyrant is literally because of his obsession/'curse' with wanting to have a bae. which i find very hilarious but focus syrips that part isnt the point-

anyways. tl;dr - strahd has nothing to ascend to. he has no vampire that he's inferior to. if anything, he wants to descend. he wants to be 'less' of what he is now, to be with tatyana. or, to ascend tatyana to his vampiric level. it's his entire curse. and, because of this, he also cannot descend. if he does, he will either lose himself, or he will lose tatyana. and he will not dare to risk that.

he also has nothing that he has or can ascend from. he is the 'original'. at most, he just ascended from 'himself.' but, that's not really an ascension more than just a transition. (and, moving from the material plane to the domains of dread kind of shows that he's not really ascending/rising, more than he's just moving into a warped/slanted plane that operates differently in time and space.) and, unlike in the Rite of Profane Ascension, strahd used himself (and everything affiliated to him) as both the component and result, because no other method existed. he is the origin and reason that rites/methods to 'becoming a more powerful vampire' even exist. he's the reason that vampires exist. when strahd says he's the ancient and land, he's not just saying it for the cool monologue phrase even though we all know he totally enjoys saying it everytime. he's also bluntly saying, 'i am the ancient because i, with barovia, transcend time. i am the land because i, with barovia, connect with the domains of dread. and, the domains of dread, connects with all planes. i am beyond 'a vampire.' i, strahd, am the concept and definition of the vampire.'

everything that all vampires do, by definition, are mock versions, mock attempts, and mock methods that strahd has already mastered, influenced others to do, or that he has knowledge/creation of. everything all vampires do, is attempting to do what their masters had done. with every new spawn, they start at the bottom, trying to climb to their master's level. and even more rarely, attempting to climb to their master's master's level. but strahd is at the top of the MLM vampire pyramid. he has no master to climb up the ranks to. he's already the CEO, founder, etc. (idk how business works), he can't out-climb himself. -strahd pompous voice- 'ouhhh.. it's so lonely being at the top, ouhhh..' but anyways, he can ascend or assist others, since he's a patron. but most power-hungry vampires wouldnt want to do that, especially because they're probably trying to climb up just to compete or be on strahd's vampiric level. and yet, asking strahd for ascension is incredibly easy - all it would mean is making an eternal pact to always be subservient and inferior to strahd.. he'd gladly ascend you, you'd have the potential to be superior to all other vampires.. the only one above you would be personally him. and.. suddenly, a deal with an archdevil who doesnt care about the pettiness of vampire superiority, kind of sounds safer in comparison now..-

or idk. i could be wrong. just a ramble i had fun doing. hehe ty for reading

references/sauces:

bg3

bg3 wiki

wikipedia

wiktionary

google translate

ravenloft novels/modules/games/media/editions from like everywhere

#curse of strahd spoilers #bg3 spoilers #random syrips theory #ravenloft spoilers #strahd von zarovich #sorry strahd i hate tagging u but i wanna organize it- gfdljhgf

[morally-grey-girlbosses]

Liliana Vess Propaganda Post

shes a multiple centuries old necromancer. she accidentally poisoned her own brother and he went evil then she was sad about it for ages. shes been historically manipulated by some guy whose identity was unknown for ages and whose lore is contradictory. the laws of reality got altered so she made a pact with four demons brokered by an evil dragon to live forever and got cool tattoos. she seduced one of mtg's other main characters then betrayed him. and also dated his best friend iirc. she cursed a guy to go evil and go around killing all planeswalkers. she killed one of the demons she made a deal with. she blew up an ancient demon prison to kill another one. she joined a group of well meaning heroes and made friends with them but then it turned out her real motives involved killing another of those demons, who she ripped apart with zombies and let her undead feast on, and her actions tore the group apart. they also got beat up real bad by the dragon she made the deal with. she went to another plane and killed the last demon but the pact defaulted and she was indebted to the evil dragon, who made her turn on her allies and go evil. she commanded his zombie legions when he tried to absorb the power of every other interplanar magic user. after her friend died attacking him she betrayed said evil dragon and stole his magic with his own giant zombies. she ran away and was declared a fugitive. theres other stuff that happened after that where she did more morally ambiguous things but ngl i kind of lost track of shit. she was a schoolteacher and defended the school. shes really cool and hot. shes super morally complex. shes even got a bunch of good cards that people dont like playing against sometimes. i love her a lot. please vote for my necromancer girlboss queen

she's a necromancer. she's fantasy catholic. her parents tried getting her to become a nun to curb her wild and crazy attitude and in response she had more sex with MORE stableboys. she accidentally turned her sick dying brother into a zombie while trying to heal him. she bargained for eternal life/youth and unlimited power by making a deal with four demons. when she stopped being into the whole demon's plaything thing, she made a deal with the dragon who brokered the contracts to get out of them. she manipulated, gaslit, and seduced a powerful young telepath into helping her break these contracts and becoming her dark prince of a crime syndicate, and then accidentally fell in love with him FOR REAL. she (paid for someone to) murder his boyfriend to make sure he would help her, because she doesn't know how to ask for help, she only knows how to force people into situations where their only option is helping her. it didn't work. her trust issues gave him trust issues which gave her more trust issues. she tried it with him AGAIN years later and was such a pitiful little meow meow about it he said yes even while knowing it was a mistake. his entire friend group thought he was crazy to do it because they could see all her red flags from the moon. she's fun and flirty and lives only for herself. as the flagship Black Mana(tm) character for Magic: The Gathering's color theory, everything she does is selfish, power-mongering, exploitative, and assumes everyone else is doing the same thing. in her good guy redemption arc, she asked a vampire how he just "decided to stop eating people". she doesn't know what a mango is.

#propaganda #liliana vess

[dr-lizortecho]

I'm a delena lover too and wanted to know any delena UOs you have? A few of mine if you promise not to make fun of me - 1. I honestly don't think delena is nearly as "toxic" as it's made out to be? I mean, context matters, and this is a show about screwed up monstrous vampires, so no ship is going to be the epitome of 'healthy' lol. But I actually find delena a lot more honest and real than stelena was and a lot less toxic than klaroline. They communicate and adapt much more than antis give them credit for and are genuinely loving and supportive. I'm dying on that unpopular hill :) 2. I actually think s5 is my favorite delena season? It leaned in to the "but they're not healthy!" stuff too much, but it also showed them at their best, most loyal and passionate and adoring, without the icky shadow of the 'sire bond' crap that ruined s4 for me. And Elena is so...free that season? I don't know, I just love it. S6 has great domestic moments but yet another unpopular opinion is that something about the 'falling in love all over again with no memories' storyline felt really inauthentic and rushed to me. I like it in theory, just not the execution. 3. Delena is NOT just about physical attraction. At all. Like I truly believe that even if they could never have sex again they'd be very happy together. They connect on a much deeper level imo, seeing each other for who they truly are. 4. I do not in any way buy Elena as a doctor or even a science person---in my mind she became a teacher or a counselor :) 5. Elena is thought to be similar to Stefan but imo in actuality she's more like Damon imo---super passionate, follows her heart and instincts to a degree that some see as selfish, reacts in the moment rather than focusing on the past or future etc. 6. I actually think Damon has a better, softer heart than Stefan. He's crazy and impulsive and self-destructive and a whole bunch of other things, but he's also a lot softer and more willing to acknowledge his flaws and try to change than Stefan is. Again, these are all just my very UOs! Can't wait to read yours too!!

Hi anon! I adore them- like there’s three ships that I really feel encapsulate romantic love for me, that taught me what it is and how it works, and Delena was the second of those ships so it means a lot to me personally

So I am so far removed from fandom I barely know what counts as popular opinions and unpopular opinions, but feel free to ask me specific questions at any time! Though my two fav characters are Tyler and Bonnie if that counts <3 I’ll start by kinda saying my thoughts on the things you mentioned as your unpopular opinions- which I fully understand even when we slightly disagree! Below the cut so it’s easier for my non-tvd followers

On Delena being called toxic- I talked about it in part before (but alas I can’t find the post) and contrary to popular belief I think they’re not toxic (granted after they get together) outside of the regular amount you should expect in all teen dramas regardless of supernatural elements or not. Unlike a lot of the other relationships they have a lot of communication and consent involved from the start, because they have to with the precarious Stefan ties and the sire bond. On top of that they both acknowledge the parts of their relationship that aren’t the best and actively work towards making them better, however, with the flaws and missteps afforded for drama ✨

I can’t be impartial about s5- definitely not enough to be able to decide about Delena in it. I wasn’t a fan of that brand of angst tbh (sorry anon I do get the appeal) and the racism throughout just hurt my heart too much- but they definitely had some top tier sexy moments. Personally, I loved season six because of the approach of them sharing a best friend and all the little moments and musical beats. Like- watching Damon want to live became something so important to me and really felt like the conclusion for his character arc.

As for the sexual aspect- I do think it plays a part (as with every relationship that involves sex) but it definitely isn’t the peak of it or the draw, it’s a perk. Because if it was the sex they’d have been done with each other after that long hot summer. But there is a tendency in fandom to try and remove all romance and depth to relationships they don’t like- because if it’s shallow they can be rude and dismissive to shippers.

In regards to Elena- I don’t think she’s too similar to either Salvatore, I think she shares common traits with both. But at the end of the day it wa she’d similarities to Stefan that drew them together and her differences to Damon that drew them together. Which is why Stefan was a relationship that let her heal and come back to herself and Damon was the relationship that pushed her out of her comfort zone and helped her grow.

As for Stefan and Damon I don’t think there’s anything to be gained from claiming any one character is “softer” or more “moral” than another. It’s all about action and reaction and growth. However, I think you might be catching onto the sensitivity of their triggers, which Damon’s trauma responses are way more easily triggered throughout the series because unlike Stefan he hasn’t sat with them and worked through near as much of his traumatic experiences. Which is why his healing process through Elena learning of and reminding him to be kind to himself you watch him heal and grow. Which isn’t to be confused with him being “defanged” for a romance- because it was happening regardless of if he and Elena stayed friends or not.

#tvd #tvd asks #asks #anon asks #delena

[idridian]

what are your favourite horror movies

what a question to ask me lol. ohhhkay, strap in.

(please note that when you ask me "favourite", that means you get favourite regardless of quality. and you get no tv shows or any such things, strictly movies)

(btw i haven't actually seen that many horror films. many of the iconic franchises especially - chucky, elm street, scream, friday the 13th, texas chainsaw massacre, what have you - just never piqued my interest. maybe some day)

(also these are in no particular order)

-

1. hellraiser franchise

my working theory is that all "hellraiser" movies are bad movies, but for different reasons. the og from 1987 is a bad movie because it was made on a budget of ten pounds and a packet of crisps. hellraiser 8 is bad because its plot is about a group of teens obsessed with a hellraiser video game getting murdered at a weird sex party. these two are not the same

that being said, i love these movies very much (except for hellraiser 10. i hate hellraiser 10 and will never ever watch it ever again, thank you. no reason) and love to look at pinhead and his many cenobite buddies doing weird kinky shit <3

2. halloween movies (only 1978 and the green trilogy from 2018 onwards)

i haven't seen any of the other ones because i was introduced to the series by my very good friend miri aka @asylos, who showed me those four and no others. and i was like okay :D and just never watched the rest because i don't consume media unless prompted

i'm a basic bitch, i see a man in a jumpsuit and get gender envy, so og twink michael delights me. that being said, old man michael from the green trilogy? CHEF'S KISS. love that fucker. he's the best

3. anything del toro

a lot of his films don't really stay within the constraints of a single genre, but they definitely contain horror elements. my favourite is "the shape of water", which has its moments but is overall not that scary. the pale man from "pan's labyrinth" made quite the impression on me when i first saw the movie because while i had seen the iconic shot of him raising his hands to reveal the Palm Eyes before, i was unaware of the fact that that fucker gets up and shambles around and i was Not Okay with that

crimson peak is very pretty and i love it. for obvious reasons, i think

4. willy's wonderland

nic cage night janitor animatronic murder fight bonanza my beloved. like honestly, i watched the fnaf movie yesterday and it had zero good cleaning montages, wasn't as funny and had fewer bangers, music-wise, than willy's does. like what's the fuckin point

5. fright night 2011

this film has david tennant in it and that's why i watched it. apart from him being an absolutely show-stealing delight, the rest of the film is also a fun romp. there's vampires and stuff

6. bad samaritan

this film ALSO has david tennant in it. he's doing an american accent (a way better one than in "gracepoint", a show that you should Not watch. just watch "broadchurch" instead please, i promise you're not missing anything) and is playing a rich asshole obsessed with horses who abducts and kills women. also he throws a phone out of a car window at two separate occasions and it cracks me up

the main character is played by some actor whose name i can never remember. he's irish or something and i think he might have been in one of those pieces of media i haven't consumed. umbrella academy? was he klaus in umbrella academy? who's klaus?? is klaus FROM umbrella academy? who knows

anyway, the film is a thriller and i quite like watching it. it's tense with zero unnecessary padding, it knows what it's here for and delivers

7. the thing 1982 + 2011

another one i watched with miri. miri likes to show me horror films (and tv shows) a lot <3 we watched both the og and the new one and i quite liked them! the dog in the 82 one is really really good at his job. i highkey struggle with big groups of characters bc i can't remember names and faces for shit, so i was reeeally bad at spotting the Thing. also i liked the teeth thing from the 2011 one that was smart

8. bunny lake is missing

does this count as a horror movie? idk, but i'm putting it here

9. psycho

it's pretty good. i liked it. i think norman would have been a tumblr sexyman if such a thing had existed in the 1960s

10. the one hour long space horror segment trapped in the middle of otherwise meandering artfilm "2001: a space odyssey"

you know the one

11. alien

classic. i haven't seen any of the others apart from "aliens" because the internet said they were bad

12. the abyss

veers closer to sci-fi than horror, but i'm counting it bc it sure is tense. this is a film by james cameron about *checks smudged handwriting* some underwater diving alien nonsense or something. idk, it's been a while since i've watched it. another movie with a big group of characters i can't tell apart for shit, which is why i'm always rooting for some of them to start dying already

i watched this one because i unfortunately am doing a handshake meme with jimmy cameron labelled "hello i am obsessed with the ocean" and unlike me, he has the money to make really long epic films about it

13. the haunting 1963

this is a movie adaptation of "the haunting of hill house" by shirley jackson. it's very good! (if you're familiar with flanagan's netflix show, there are some parts of this movie that will be... quite familiar)

i watched this one with miri, followed immediately by the 1999 remake (?), which i found very strange and occasionally hilarious because of cgi that hasn't stood the test of time. also, i'd like it to be put on record that i fuckin CALLED the thing about the fireplace (somehow lol)

14. rocky horror picture show

my parents showed me this movie when i was maybe a bit too young to see it, at a point in my life where i hadn't quite figured out yet that i was various shades of queer. it sure made an Impression

many years later, i finally got around to watching the sequel, "shock treatment" (thanks to miri, of course) which is very different but also a good time, and has some bangers of its own!

-

those are all the ones i can think of (and look up in the big movie watchlist google doc miri and i use to keep track of what we've seen so far) without digging through my dvd collection, which i don't feel like doing right now because it'd be a bother.

but just for fun, a few brief honourable mentions:

the shining (i care about shelley duvall and nothing else. so glad she got to punt jack nicholson's character down a flight of stairs with a baseball bat)

black christmas (keir dullea what IS your haircut shgsjfghs)

cabin in the woods (i knew nothing going in and miri was very pleased by this fact)

house on haunted hill 1959 (skeleton lol)

young frankenstein (my parents showed me the german dub version when i was, again, a bit too young for it. iconic movie tbh)

#asks

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

MAC I HAVE A QUESTION. VERY IMPORTANT. what on EARTH is the suckening. i have seen posts on ur blog with blood and such tagged jrwi suckening and i am so so intrigued i love blood and gore and fucked up homoeroticism <3 pls pls pls tell me what the suckening is i am on my knees begging rn

oh dude holy fucking shit . so. u know i have been posting about jrwi it has been my main thing since like november. well. in case u do not know. its a dnd podcast run by charlie slimecicle, grizzlyplays, condifiction and bizly. their main campaign is called Riptide and its the one with the fish guy and all the pirates. WELL. they have a patreon and on their patreon they sometimes do mini campaigns! let me preface this by saying i have never even REMOTELY had an interest in paying for ANYTHING on patreon only because i fuckinf hate subscription payments and also im usually hesitant about paying money for fandom things especially in the content creator sphere etc etc you know how it is . HOWEVER. god their pther campaigns are so fucking worth it dude. the long running secondary main campaign thats been going along around the same time as riptide is called Prime Defenders and its a superhero themed one! i am just at the beginning of season 2 rn its so good william wisp my absolute beloved. (something else rlly cool is that they rotate being the dm for each of the campaigns and i think that makes each of them really fresh and unique bc everyone has a different dm style and a different way of telling a story. god i fucking love dnd and collaborative storytellint its incredible)

ANYWAY IM GRTTING SIDETRACKED. so during hiatuses from riptide and pd they sometimes run limited campaigns that only go for a handful of epsiodes. one of this is. regrettably. called the Suckening. its run using the vampires: masquerade ttrpg setup and ruleset which is. obviously. centered around vampires. CHARLIE SLIMECICLE is the dm and i fucking love it because god that man has a mind for horror. (he also ran blood in the bayou which was a 4-epispde mini campaign using call of cthulu and ive listened to it like 3 times now bc its got nasty bug body horror in it hooooly shit its so good) ANYWAY. um . its not *as* homoerotic as the fanart makes it out to be. just a warning. but there is a scene where two homies drink each others blood (one is a human one is a vampire. theres this think in the masquerade called blood bonding and its like. if you get a human to drink your blood on three separate occasions they become your servant basically. really homoerotic stuff in theory) and when the vampire is scolded for it he goes "well he already loves me. hes my boy" and they generally have that dynamic going on. fizzfangs i lvoe you.

ANYWAY UHHHHH. the first ... four? five? episodes are up for free on YouTube and theyve got a fun little visual novel style to them with the official character art :] heres a link 2 the first ep!!

the rest (there are 8 episodes as of rn!) are totally on patreon but if u end up listening and liking them enough to want the rest hit me up because ive got those download links i can share with u bc ur my beloved mutual and i love sharing things with my friends so they dont have to pay for them <3

#whiskey PLEASE if u end up listening. plead efor the love of god talk to me about jrwi #its been in my brain for so fucking long dude i love them so much. obsessed. unhealthily #gillion tidestrider has taken up permanent residence in my mind. hello gillion i love you. #if u want a breakdown of the player characters (and also soda) i would be happy 2 give them to u. but this ask was already so long #this is my can of worms you cannot open it ill be so annoying. #i was feeling a specific type of way last night which is why you suddenly saw an influx of fizzfangs posts im not sorry it will happen again #oh also grefgor is there hes my angel the light of my life. i fucking love everything about grefgor forever #from the top rope my prince! #hes like. u know when theres a prince and a knight and theyre a little gay about it. yeah. #i looooove grefgor.... i love shilo i love emizel i ESPECIALLY love soda #....arthur is there too i guess #hehe #friends!!! #asks #hi whsikey. im going to be so annoying to you

[reinekes-fox]

Well, since you asked, I'll share my most worked on thylacine OC. I'm actually a tabletop RP player, and among the games we play is Changeling the Lost. My PC in that game is a thylacine beast changeling!

Now, this will be complicated if you don't know Changeling the Lost as a game, but basically, he's obsessed with his fetch and madly in love with him (this stems from a feeling that "no one but me can understand me" - and since a fetch is normally the "copy" a fae makes of the person they kidnap...). While now he doesn't feel like no one but him can understand him, that doesn't change the feelings for his fetch. (PS: don't worry, they are not "like brothers" and don't even look the same because of all the fae modifications).

Now, our campaign is a bit peculiar because our GM introduced a plot twist that's not in the canon of Changeling the Lost, which is that not all changelings are the "original" to a fetch. In some instances, a fae takes a human only for a minimal amount of time, not even taking them to Arcadia, and copies them as a base template in order to make "a better version of them" - in these cases, the "fetch" would be the actual person, still as they were before but without memories of the event (aside from some alien abduction theories some may have), while the changeling is a pure fae construct made from scratch and some raw materials. Some high ranking escaped changelings know about it but don't share the information to avoid emotional trauma in the changelings under their wing. Thing is, my character figured it out thanks to his obsession - basically, he sees his fetch with such rose tinted glasses that he always thought it's impossible for such perfection to be a mere copy, so he always told people he himself is the copy... and hey, it happens to be true! This is useful too, because that made it pretty easy to undo the normal fear of a fetch towards their changeling, as it was just a small spell and not ingrained in his whole being.

At his point, my dear thylacine managed to become very close friends with his original - though nothing more for now - and he's dead set on usurping his prior fae master and actually entering Arcadia and becoming a fae lord - which would also grant immortality to the fetch if he takes him along. He's pretty much a fae at heart to be fair (except he has actual empathy for the changelings and humans) - knowing he's a fae construct made him all the more certain that he doesn't have to try and be "human" to be himself.

Also fun fact, at some point when he was transformed into an actual thylacine thanks to one of his powers, he met an Australian vampire who was in his city for stuff, and the vampire went in overdrive heh (cause how the hell do you meet a supposedly extinct animal from your home country in PARIS of all stuff - which is where the story is set). They ended up becoming best friends thanks to the unlikely circumstancs that led and to it and followed their encounter. Currently the vampire still "lives" at his house (which is in the basement, so quite useful for the lack of sunlight).

Here, if you want to see him:

Old-ish art, but oh well. His name's Cumhea (celtic origins for the name cause that's what his creator is into)

Never ask me to share my OCs, because I WILL overshare. Feel free to just answer in private if you don't want to spam on your actual tumblr!

Hey fellow PnP player x3 God I wanted to play Changeling the Lost (and VtM) since years but just cant find a group 😭😭

I love this switch with the fetches ngl, but nothing compares to the sweet drama of coming back and see this thing that has taken your place. Everything could happen, I love it! (My character, that I never got to play, would so try and befriend his Fetch and since he has a twin they would be triplets lol)

Also I love your art??? Thats so cool, like hello?? The design! I wish I could draw like that!

And do not apologise for this! Because if you think about it, my IFs are also just me oversharing my OCs!

#ask #changeling the lost #my beloved

[are-my-ocs-ta]

AITA for leaving my husband and mom behind for ten years to rescue my baby siblings?

I (29M, 19 at the time) am the eldest prince of the fairy kingdom, but I’m not the crown prince because my powers are really weird and I’ve almost killed myself or my loved ones multiple times. My little sister E (17F, 7 at the time) is the Crown Princess, and our littlest brother A (16M, 6 at the time) have stable powers. The theory as to why my powers are so messed up is that my mom (50F) was a commoner and that might have messed me up, but I don’t believe it. She does though, for some stupid reason, so she stepped down as Queen and allowed my dad to marry a new woman, M, who’s the mom of my younger siblings. I don’t want to reveal my powers because my mom had a lot of enemies and if they learned that I was this fucked up they could use that as leverage to destroy all the social programs and stuff my mom built.

I have a husband, S (29M, 19 at the time) who also has stable powers and is absolutely perfect and better at this shit than I am. There was a festival in the capital, and since I never make public appearances and by extension he never does, we can go out and have fun. We dressed up E and A in disguises and took them with us, but we got separated from them and when we found them again they were being kidnapped by vampires. I told S to take E and A and run, and I tried to hold them off, but they took down S and ended up taking all three of them. I managed to find S, he was struggling so much they thought he was more trouble than he was worth, but he was really weak and they had poisoned him aggressively with some iron poison and they’d completely torn his wings apart so he couldn’t fly. I took him home and left him there, because I knew they’d take care of him, and I went off to go find E and A.

Apparently while I was looking for them, E managed to escape and end up back home, but A had complete amnesia and ended up becoming a servant to the worst of the vampires so she’d let E go. Anyway I tried to rescue him a couple of times, but since he had amnesia he didn’t even recognize me and now he and all his new friends have been calling me the rat man.

Anyway eventually after they figured out that A was a fairy and not just a normal human the Vampire Prince took A into his service instead and secretly contacted E to let her know that he’d be willing to return him to them because apparently they genuinely didn’t know that vampires had kidnapped the Prince and Princess. I joined E after she showed up and even though I looked like a fucking mess she recognized me instantly and smacked me before explaining to everyone who I was and she took both of us home. But while we were in the carriage, A’s boss ended up trying to stage a coup and tried to kill everyone in the Vampire palace and A insisted on going back because he’s DATING A VAMPIRE NOW??? (I’m sorry I’ll never be over that) and we all went back and teamed up with his boyfriend’s sister to take people out and his boyfriend’s sister was presumed dead but she managed to get out and track us all the way to the palace.

Anyway, I came home with A and E and I really expected at least some kind of welcome back before everyone started screaming at me but my mom immediately started fussing over A (which is fair) but when I asked her if she missed me she just went like “don’t talk to me so I’m mad at you” and then my husband showed up and fucking backhanded me the moment he saw me and apparently the iron poison they used to try and subdue him poisoned his bone marrow to the point that they can’t heal and he’s literally only walking now thanks to the wood nymphs, who all hate me because one time I almost accidentally caused a forest fire, making him fancy prosthetics.

So anyway AITA for ditching them for ten years? I get they’re pissed, but it was my fault that A and E got taken in the first place and that S is in the situation he’s in, I needed to save them!

#aita #ocs #fairy oc #vampire oc #poison tw #kidnapping tw #child abuse tw #torture tw

[truedairship]

Hello! For the WIP tag game, I have to ask about Young Ashley overhearing Helen and James and Sanctuary/Stargate. 😁

Sorry it took a while! I think you’ve noticed that it sometimes takes me 3-5 business days to answer stuff😅

Helen/James fight, overheard by Ashley:

It was actually a scene in the crossover that caused this one.

Headcanons behind this:

1. When Helen and James fight, especially as the years go by, they pull no punches. And knowing each other so well while also being equally as stubborn and headstrong, they know exactly what hurts the most. (and a lot of it is John)

2. Ashley was a very energetic child, who even then enjoyed the thrill of danger. Helen taught both children necessary basic self defence, but while Henry didn’t want to learn much more than that, preferring his computers, Ashley took to it like a fish to water.

So basically, James walks in on Helen and Ashley (I’m very bad at children’s ages, but I’m thinking maybe 6 or so?) sparring. He notices that Ashley is way better than any child that age should be, and thinks Helen is teaching her too much too soon. Seeing how much Ashley enjoys it, he begins to worry about how much of it is John’s darkness (since they don’t know about the energy being, he fears that whatever (his theory either being the vampire blood or John himself) caused John to snap might lead to Ashley doing the same, and finds her enjoying the ‘violence’ of fighting worrying).

The big part is him bringing it up with Helen, and the fight that follows. Thing is, they are both afraid of the same thing. That Ashley will end up like John. But while James think the best solution is to keep her away from all violence (partially brought on by his somewhat old-fashioned victorian mindset - or at least that’s what Helen accuses him of), Helen thinks it’s better to direct Ashley’s energy into ‘productive’ violence, aka self defence and helping with the abnormals as she gets older. It essentially revolves around ‘she’s not her father’ (but what if) and ‘you loved him too’. And the fact that Helen is quite violent herself. Ashley has the blood and violence from both sides.

Problem is that Ashley overhears the fight. So far the entire scene is written from her pov. Thing is that it’s just a continuation of an old fight between them, because they both still blame themselves for what happened in Whitechapel. And missing certain points (because Helen and James certainly don’t need to say everything out loud to hurt each other), Ashley draws some right and some wrong conclusions, causing a bit of an identity crisis. It sort of ends up being the final straw that makes her stop asking about who her father is.

Crossover Sanctuary/Stargate:

Seeing how long that got, I’ll spare you an infodump about the crossover. But it was caused by reading a lot of other crossovers while also contemplating the odds of an embryo surviving through two world wars and everything else that happened in the 100 years before Ashley was carried to term.

It’s what it sounds like. Ashley ends up on the Prometheus, alternating between herself and the cabal drone. She’s brought to the SGC where everyone freaks out. Plot happens and in the end they contact the Sanctuary. Seeing Sam and Helen’s likeness, everyone freaks out again. Hearing about Ashley, Helen is in too much of a mama bear mode to care at first. Plot happens. Assured that Ashley actually is Ashley, Helen helps figuring out why they look so similar. Turns out Sam is Helen’s daughter that she thought she had lost long ago. Similarly, but not exactly the same as Ashley, she had another embryo frozen that she later lost. (Either during WW2 or in the 60s depending on some plot points)

I’m sort of torn between two major plot directions with this one, and it’s fun to come up with small in-between scenes to both of them. The challenge with this one is figuring out how to make the timelines work (I need to rewatch a lot of SG1!) and making sure certain parts don’t turn into pure exposition, characters in between.

#sanctaury #stargate sg1 #ask games #thank you for the ask!

[blaqueswanzaghouliishiilikeda]

What theories do you got for the end of season 2?

hii 🫶🏾

sorry i’m so late with this. i haven't been online too much lately. So theories??? man i’m not really engaging with much speculation as far as S2 goes. mainly bc i don’t think i have the ideas that will happen how my mind is formulating them. also bc they would be based off of nothing but what ive seen said about the books and vibes i got from S1 lmao. i’m so sorry if i disappoint you my ideas. here’s what i hope…

S2 will focus on loumand in the past and in the present maybe Armand might get to contribute to the telling of things. I’m very fucking excited for loumand. Idk how to not lose my mind about this! it’ll be interesting to me if there’s points of contention between how louis remembers something and how he does. what happened to Claudia and how coming out in this contention would be really fun to watch. “the love of my life” seems to be something that’s gonna come undone next season. seeing how they came together. seeing what makes their relationship tick. seeing the cracks in what their dynamic is now. seeing how Daniel’s tendency to be provocative and rude when he feels endangered will impact things or how it will shift now that he knows Rashid is actually Armand—now that he realizes he’s been talking to an even stronger vampire crazy out the side of his neck. and he’s greatly out numbered rn. i want to see if Daniel tries to run and leave and how they might convince him to stay or if he decides to stay what lends to that decision. the book? answers that he wants? im sure it’ll be many things.

I wonder if they will put off the hows of how Lestat finds his way to Paris since no one but him would really have all that information. I think with seeing Sam and Assad hanging out off set there will be some Armand/Lestat scene to look forward too. they’re gonna fight and its gonna be nasty and full of tension and armand longing for lestat while lestat longs for louis and he’s [lestat] gonna get that look in his eye were he agrees to something he know damn well he shouldnt in the name of saving louis. its gonna be delicious. Im excited to see that.

I hope we only really get hints of the devil’s minion stuff and i hope a good chunk of most of it happens in the modern day so they can have lots to fill coming seasons with. i want S2 to be more about loumand anyways. THO i do want them to put the fear of the devil into that man. I want him to really come to terms with what the fuck situation he’s in and I want Louis and Armand to make him feel it for real. I want the cracks in his dynamic with them and his supposed superior morality to start to show.

I think the situation with Louis might make Claudia desperate for another connection by the time it’s clear Louis is stuck in the past and longing for Lestat. Her hatred for him i think is soemthing we’ll see develop in it’s fullness. i hope she’s just as petty as she’s been. there wa a post about her playing piano and playing bach even tho she knows it torment him. i love that post. i wish i had it in me to find it. that post is genius. but yeah so i think she’d even accept the mother like way Madeleine treats her even tho she’s been looking to be treated like an equal bc anything is better than where they find themselves in terms of being stuck together after all thats happened and the spector of him choking her and lestat being spared because of him always looming over them. i think that adds to the sheer sadness of her situation. the living truth that yeah lestat is alive and louis would have him even now. and then the realization that he would also have armand who wants her dead clearly. i think someone who seems to “see her” would be preferable. but bc i know this is the painshow i cant say that they’re dynamic won’t be hard to watch. i think it will. I think madeleine will be working out her own trauma in losing her family on Claudia and it’ll be really clear that Claudia will always be choosing the lesser of an evil. i think they’ll play with our minds and hearts about what they could be, but ultimately they’re doomed and she’ll still wind up dead. and apparently so does madeleine even after being turned soo.. yeah i’m about to be heart shattered behind claudia.

sorry if these are disappointing. but yeah that’s as far as i’ve got. tho i’m sure i’ll think of something else and make a post about it. but i havent really wanted to speculate too much on S2 beyond being horny about loumand. maybe we’ll see their dungeon!

#iwtv #s2 speculations #louis de pointe du lac #armand #claudia #lestat de lioncourt #madeleine

[desertfangs]

Currently thinking about that scene in Devil’s Minion where it says Armand and Daniel have all kinds of fancy telescopes and like to put them on the roof of their apartments and look at the stars and how at some point that must’ve turned into #alientalk and how they probably came up with all kinds of batshit insane theories and had a lot of fun with it but eventually just moved onto their next fixation. Decades later when they reunite in New York and all the Alien stuff is going down, they can’t help but look at each other and laugh like idiots because everything they’d come up with? Wasn’t anywhere near as wild as what is actually happening now and neither of them can believe this is actually their lives.

Oh no, Anon, you have stumbled into one of my special interests. I was obsessed with UFOs and aliens as a kid (almost as much as vampires!) so I totally headcanon that Armand and Daniel talked about UFO sightings and alien abduction stories and the like. And the 70s were a great time for it! And not just due to their love of telescopes and stargazing, although I'm sure that led to some of those conversations! They absolutely argued all about the Drake Equation and the possibility of aliens visiting Earth. I also think they watched a lot of 70s television about aliens and the supernatural (actual science/investigation shows like NOVA programs and In Search Of), as well as TV movies like The UFO Incident about Betty and Barney Hill, which also caused them to argue and debate about what might have happened to that couple. They probably read books about UFOs and even went to places where UFOs were known to appear and watched the skies hoping to see something otherworldly.

Of course, they came to the conclusion that most of the stories of alien encounters were absurd and there was probably no way most if any of those sightings or encounters were with real aliens. But maybe...

So fast forward to the alien stuff in the books! Modern day (ish) and they're like WTF. This is far more absurd than anything they could have imagined or guessed. The UFO books and movies did not cover this! I imagine at several points as this is all going down, Daniel is across the room and just mouths the words "Fucking aliens!" to Armand, who has to keep himself from laughing. It's the only amusement Armand gets out of the situation, because he doesn't trust the aliens and the others don't want to listen to reason. They obviously struggle to believe it's real because it feels absolutely ridiculous but it's happening. Never in a million years would they have guessed. Motherfucking aliens.

#thank you so much for the ask anon this made me chuckle #armand #daniel molloy #armand/daniel #late-canon shenanigans #vc #vc headcanons #i'm also convinced they spent at least a week at Loch Ness #that would be a fun fic to write tbh #anonymous #answers in the desert