#love nyc but I don’t actually want to be here lol I’m too depressed to do activities

[sewercentipede]

woke up after 4-5hrs of sleep to opiate withdrawals and my intestines being evil horrible <3 but at least I woke up in nyc, yes queen (unenthusiastic)

#love nyc but I don’t actually want to be here lol I’m too depressed to do activities #like If I had m37h then ok I could handle it #I just feel so old and run down like aagggghhhh last time I was here I was a whole different person #a young fresh babe excited about stuff like this #with energy to match #but nowadays... the tortures consume me

[moldy-mold]

December Blog

In October, I got a surprise job at a stationery place I did not apply to. It was really all about the connections. I’m starting to understand that all stationery places in town know about each other and who works where because the industry is pretty small...

We are nestled in a little shopping plaza which looks like this:

I get to see it every day which makes me psyched to go to work. It is a lovely place, full of plants. My manager is really cool, and my boss is... interesting. She literally said to me “I sense a big change coming from the universe and I think you will be a part of this change.” That’s great! I think.

For the first time in a while, I feel a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. At the same time, I also wonder what would have happened to me if this opportunity did not present itself... I got way too lucky here.

-

Occasionally I’ll pick up a book. In the span of a week, I finished The Devil Wears Prada, the novel in which the famous 2006 Anne Hathaway movie was based on. Basically, it’s about a young woman in NYC trying to impress her hell boss so she can move up in life. But at what cost? Actually, a lot of it was so relatable, I had to put the book down sometimes or else I would actually start crying. It reminded me of the hard times. Compared to the film adaptation, which was a feel-good movie, the book was 10x more depressing... It was still a good book though.

-

✵ The Plant Saga ✵

I got a few new ones since my last update.

Florian (Neon Pothos) - Finally! I’ve always dreamed of getting a hanging pothos!

Estelle (Lantana) -  I failed to take a pic before winter = no flowers and fewer leaves, so I’ll just show you what she pretty much looked like!

Unnamed Pansies. I bought them from the “dying plants section” for $0.25 each and I wasn’t sure I could rescue them. Now they’re doing okay! I accidentally crossbred the two colors and made a pinkish one (on the right, not flowering atm).

He’s not new but Kiryu (Christmas Cactus) is in bloom now since it’s winter!

Hubert (Monstera) is so big now that he needs his own space. The leaves are larger than my head...

-

✵ Art and Social Media ✵

It’s been a year since I deleted mobile twitter and I cannot recommend it enough. I feel that I can now be more present. I check it on desktop once in a while in case someone needed to get my attention. I used to get the FOMO, especially when it came to Tales news, but after a while it goes away completely. Luckily some homies have my back and send me choice updates so I don’t live completely under a rock.

I actually discovered an add-on to my web browser called Better Twitter. I’ve hidden my follower count (to myself only) among other things, so I would not feel punished every time I saw it. There are times where I would like to browse my own page for RTs that I liked. Now I can do it without any fear. Please install it if you have similar concerns.

This year, I’ve really been more lax about posting art since I’ve cut back on social media. I just post whenever I want instead of following a schedule like I used to (Insane. Why did I ever do that.). In my head it feels like I only did 3 pieces but it was actually much more than that. I can’t believe finished my Berseria comic series Undercover! this year and tbh felt like 10 years ago lol.

As of now I think I’ve hit a block or some kind of burn-out. It’s not like I don’t have ideas, it’s just not coming out the way I want them to so I give up. Do you ever get those head voices telling you that you aren’t as good as you thought you were? 🤡

I get caught up with “I need to challenge myself” but in the midst of the challenging, I get too tired and end up with something simple, just so I can finish the piece. Sure, I feel accomplished for a few hours but at the end of the day the head voice says Ah, I failed again. It’s not like this is something recent. I’ve been feeling this way for a long long time. When will I break free...

Secret Side Note I opened my shop again but I don’t wanna announce it officially so here it is. If you have last-minute holiday shopping to do, you are welcome to support this small artist! I close shop for the holidays DEC 19.

moldyartichoke.ecwid.com

Why did I shut down in the first place? Well the real reason was it was too expensive to stay open. It was only later when I realized they let you keep the shop for free if you limit your products. Sure why not!

-

✵ Hold up, I need to scream about Xenoblade 2 ✵

I gotta say my piece before I beat the final chapter... Praying real hard I won’t be disappointed lol.

Now I’ve had my beef with the character designs and a handful of weirdly out-of-place dialogue and voice acting but everything else about it blew me away. It’s been a long time since I have been so enamored with a game. The plot, the LORE, the gameplay. So very fun and interesting!

I didn’t think I would enjoy it since I loved the first one and the second is nothing like it. Some friends pushed me into at least trying it instead of judging it based off of what everyone else thinks. And I do that a lot especially when it comes to $60 games...

If I didn’t borrow it from the cafe owner’s (my ex-boss now) son for a trial run... I don’t think I would have started it. He was a huuuuge fan and I suppose it got me curious as to why he liked it so much.

Anyway, you ever just see a character for literally 5 seconds and you’re like “yep that’s the one”? Happened to me. I absolutely had to keep playing to find out who this guy was. That’s all there is to it.

Thanks Nomura for designing him lmao.

-

✵ Finished Watching... ✵

Word of Honor (cdrama) ◆◆◇ Tenchi Muyo! Ryo-Oki pt 1 & 2 ◆◆◆ Tenchi Muyo In Love! 1 & 2 ◆◆◇ Tenchi Muyo Daughter of Darkness ◆◇◇ Couple of Mirrors (cdrama) ◆◆◇ Space Cowboys ◆◆◇ The Devil Wears Prada ◆◆◇ Arcane ◆◆◆ Sailor Moon S The Movie ◆◆◇ Scissor Seven s3 ◆◆◆ Lupin III: The First ◆◆◇ Rush Hour 1 ◆◆◇

-

That’s all for now. Thanks for keeping up with me - I’ll see you guys next year!

#diary

[supercantaloupe]

okay yeah actually, i’ll bite. i’ve got some of my own thoughts about the unsleeping city and cultural representation and i’m gonna make a post about them now, i guess. i’ll put it under a cut though because this post is gonna be long.

i wanna start by saying i love dimension 20 and i really really enjoy the unsleeping city. i look forward to watching new episodes every week, and getting hooked on d20 as a whole last summer really helped pull me out of a pandemic depression, and i’m grateful to have this cool show to be excited about and interested in and to have met so many cool people to talk about it with.

that being said, however, i think there is a risk run in representing any group of people/their culture when you have the kind of setting that tuc has. by which i mean, tuc is set in a real world with real people and real human cultures in it. unlike fantasy high or a crown of candy where everything is made up (even if rooted in real-world cultures), tuc is explicitly rooted in reality, and all of its diversity -- both the ups and downs that go with it. and especially set in new york of all places, one of the most densely, diversely populated cities on earth. the cast is 7 people; it’s great that those 7 people come from a variety of backgrounds and identities and all bring their own unique perspectives to the table, and it’s great that those people and the entire crew are generally conscious of themselves and desire to tell stories/represent perspectives ethically. but you simply cannot authentically represent every culture or every perspective in the world (or even just in a city) when your cast is 7 people. it’s an impossible task. this is inherent to the setting, and acknowledged by the cast, and by brennan especially, who has been on record saying how one of the exciting aspects of doing a campaign set in nyc is its diversity, the fact that no two new yorkers have the same perspective of new york. i think that’s a good thing -- but it does have its challenges too, clearly.

i’m not going to go into detail on the question of whether or not tuc’s presentation of asian and asian american culture is appropriative/offensive or not. first of all, i don’t feel like it’s 100% fair to judge the show completely yet, since it’s a prerecorded season and currently airing midseason, so i don’t yet know how things wrap up. secondly, i’m not asian or asian american. i can have my own opinions on that content in the show, but i think it’s worth more to hear actual asian and asian american voices on this specific aspect of the show. having an asian american cast member doesn’t automatically absolve the show of any criticisms with regard to asian american cultural representation/appropriation, whether those criticisms are made by dozens of viewers or only a handful of them. regardless, i don’t think it’s my place as someone who is not asian to speak with any authority on that issue, and i know for a fact that there are asian american viewers sharing their own opinions. their thoughts in this instance hold more water than mine, i think.

what i will comment on in more depth, though, is a personal frustration with tuc. i’m jewish; i’ve never really been shy about that fact on my page here. i’m not from new york, but i visit a few times a year (or i did before covid anyway, lol), and i have some family from nyc. nyc, to me, is a jewish city. and for good reason, since it’s home to one of the largest jewish populations of the country, and even the world, and aspects of jewish culture (including culinary, like bagels and pastrami, and linguistic, like the common use of yiddish words and phrases in english colloquial speech) are prevalent and celebrated among jews and goyim alike. when i think of nyc, i think of a jewish city; that’s not everybody’s new york, but that’s my new york, and thats plenty of other people’s new york too. so i do find myself slightly disappointed or frustrated in tuc for its, in my opinion, rather stark lack of jewish representation.

now, i’m not saying that one of the PCs should have been jewish, full stop. i love to headcanon iga as jewish even though canon does not support that interpretation, and i’m fine with that. she’s not my character. it’s possible that simply no one thought of playing a jewish character, i dunno. but also, and i can’t be sure about this, i’m willing to bet that none of the players really wanted to play a jewish character because they didn’t want to play a character of a marginalized culture they dont belong to in the interest of avoiding stereotyping or offensive representation/cultural appropriation. (i don’t know if any of the cast members are jewish, but i’m assuming not.) and the concern there is certainly appreciated; there’s not a ton of mainstream jewish rep out there, and often what we get is either “unlikeable overly conservative hassidic jew” or “jokes about their bar mitzvah/one-off joke about hanukkah and then their jewishness is never mentioned ever again,” which sucks. it would be really cool to see some more good casual jewish rep in a well-rounded, three-dimensional character in the main cast of a show! even if there are a couple of stumbles along the way -- nobody is perfect and no two jews have the same level of knowledge, dedication, and adherence to their culture.

but at the same time, i look at characters like iga and i really do long for a jewish character to be there. siobhan isn’t polish, yet she’s playing a characters whose identity as a polish immigrant to new york is very central to her story and arc. and part of me wonders why we can’t have the same for a jewish character. if not a PC, then why not an NPC? again, i’m jewish, and i am not native, but in my opinion i think the inclusion of jj is wonderful -- i think there are even fewer native main characters in mainstream media than there are jewish ones, and it’s great to see a native character who is both in touch with their culture as well as not being defined solely by their native-ness. to what extent does it count as ‘appropriative’ because brennan is a white dude? i dunno, but i’m like 99% sure they talked to sensitivity consultants to make sure the representation was as ethical as they could get it, and anyway, i can’t personally see and glaring missteps so far. but again, i’m not native, and if there are native viewers with their own opinions on jj, i’d be really interested in hearing them.

but getting back to the relative lack of jewish representation. it just...disappoints me that jewishness in new york is hardly ever even really mentioned? again, i know we’re only just over halfway through season 2, but also, we had a whole first season too. and it’s definitely not all bad. for example: willy! gd, i love willy so much. him being a golem of williamsburg makes me really really happy -- a jewish mythological creature animated from clay/mud (in this case bricks) to protect a jewish community (like that of williamsburg, a center for many of nyc’s jews) from threat. golem have so often been taken out of their original context and turned into evil monsters in fantasy settings, especially including dnd. (even within other seasons of d20! crush in fh being referred to as a “pavement golem” always rubbed me the wrong way, and i had hoped they’d learned better after tuc but in acoc they refer to another monster as a “corn golem” which just disappointed me all over again.) so the fact that tuc gets golems right makes my jewish heart very happy.

and yet...he doesn’t show up that much? sure, in s1, he’s very helpful when he does, but in s2 so far he shows up once and really does not say or do much of anything. he speaks with a lot more yiddish-influenced language than other characters, but if you didn’t know those words were specifically yiddish/jewish, you might not be able to otherwise clock the fact that willy is jewish. and while willy is a jewish mythological creature who is jewish in canon, he isn’t human. there are no other direct references to judaism, jewish characters, or jewish culture in the unsleeping city beyond him.

there are, in fact, two other canon jewish characters in tuc. but...here’s where i feel the most frustration, i think. the two canon jewish humans in tuc are stephen sondheim and robert moses. both of whom are real actual people, so it’s not like we can just pick and choose what their cultural backgrounds are. as much as i love stephen sondheim, i think there are inherent issues with including real world people as characters in a fictional setting, especially if they are from living/recent memory (sondheim is literally still alive), but anyway, sondheim and moses are both actual jewish people. from watching tuc alone you probably would not be able to guess that sondheim is jewish -- nothing from his character except name suggests it, and i wouldn’t even fault you for not thinking ‘sondheim’ is a jewish-sounding surname (and i dislike the idea/attitude/belief that you can tell who is or isn’t jewish by the sound of their name). and yeah, i’m not going to sit here and be like “brennan should have made sondheim more visibly jewish in canon!” because, like, he’s a real human being and it’s fucking weird to portray him in a way that isn’t as close to how he publicly presents himself, which is not in fact very identifiably jewish? i don’t know, this is what i mean by it’s inherently weird and arguably problematic to portray real living people as characters in a fictional setting, but i digress. sondheim’s jewish, even if you wouldn’t know it; not exactly a representation win.

and then there’s bob moses. you might be able to guess that he’s jewish from canon, actually. there’s the name, of course. but more insidious to me are the specifics of his villainy. greedy and powerhungry, a moneyman, a lich whose power is stored in a phylactery...it does kind of all add up to a Yikes from me. (in the stock market fight there’s a one-off line asking if he has green skin; it’s never really directly acknowledged or answered, but it made me really uncomfortable to hear at first and it’s stuck with me since viewing for the first time.) the issue for me here is that the most obviously jewish human character is the season’s bbeg, and his villainy is rooted in very antisemitic tropes and stereotypes.

i know this isn’t all brennan’s fault -- robert moses was a real ass person and he was in fact jewish, a powerhungry and greedy moneyman, a big giant racist asshole, etc. i’m not saying that jewish characters can’t be evil, and i’m not saying brennan should have tried to be like “this is my NPC robert christian he’s just like bob moses but instead he’s a goy so it’s okay” because...that would be fuckin weird bro. and bob moses was a real person who was jewish and really did do some heinous shit with his municipal power. i’m not necessarily saying brennan should have picked/created a different character to be the villain. i’m not even saying that he shouldn’t have made bob moses a lich (although, again, it doesn’t 100% sit right with me). but my point here is that bob moses is one of a grand total of three canon jewish characters in tuc, of which only two humans, of whom he is the one you’d most easily guess would be jewish and is the most influenced by antisemitic stereotypes/tropes. had there been more jewish representation in the show at all, even just some neutral jewish NPCs, this would not be as much of a problem as it is to me. but halfway through season 2, so far, this is literally all we get. and that bums me out.

listen, i really like tuc. i love d20. but the fact that it is set in a real world place with real world people does inherently raise challenges when it comes to ethical cultural representation. especially when the medium of the show is a game whose creatures, lore, and mechanics have been historically rooted in some questionable racial/cultural views. and dnd is making progress to correct some of those misguided views of older sourcebooks by updating them to more equitably reflect real world racial/cultural sensitivities; that’s a good thing! but these seasons, of course, were recorded before that. the game itself has some questionable cultural stuff baked into it, and that is (almost necessarily) going to be brought to the table in a campaign set in a real-world place filled with real-world people of diverse real-world cultures. the cast can have sensitivity consultants and empathy and the best intentions in the world, and they’ll still fuck up from time to time, that’s okay. your mileage may vary on whether or not it’s still worth sticking around with the show (or the fandom) through that. for me, it does not yet outweigh all the things i like about the show, and i’m gonna continue watching it. but it’s still very worth acknowledging that the cast is 7 people who cannot possibly hope to authentically or gracefully represent every culture in nyc. it’s an unfortunate limitation of the medium. yet it’s also still worthwhile to acknowledge and discuss the cultural representation as it is in the show -- both the goods and the bads, the ethically solid and the questionably appropriative -- and even to hold the creators accountable. (decently, though. i’m definitely not advocating anybody cyberbully brennan on twitter or whatever.) the show and its representation is far from perfect, but i also don’t think it ever could be. still, though, it could always be better, and there’s a worthwhile discussion to be had in the wheres, hows, and whys of that.

#sasha reviews #sasha speaks #the unsleeping city #unsleeping city #long post #dimension 20 #gd i stayed up way too late to write this #tuc #the unsleeping city chapter 2 #the unsleeping city 2 #tuc2 #antisemitism

[neonponders]

I'm sorry your brain is feeling squished!

Question: what the most outlandish harringrove au/idea/ concept that crossed your mind, but you immediately dismissed because you were worried it was too 'extra/big/over the top'

🥺 😭 Thank you, Graaaaaves 💗

You know, for some reason, I tend to avoid super fantasy au's??? (so says the person in the middle of a werewolf/vampire/witch/merman fics 🙄) Like every time I see griffin/centaur/faun art of the boys I lose my mind, I love it so much. And I recently saw this pic of a pair of lions (it's not weird, it's just a picture of lions lol) and thought.........that's Harringrove. Shape shifters? Steve's hair is literally Kovu from Lion King 2...but I never go anywhere with these haha I think it's the notion of writing horse sex that scares me off LOL

BUT I got brave once and made a tiny drabble on zayacv's post here ~

Apart from these, I am ~ s l o w l y ~ but surely writing a soulmate fic where they can't see colors until they see their mate, AND they can see each other in dreams.

(more under the cut because I'm about to overshare lol)

Cue a LOT of angst because Steve forgets his dreams (like a normal person does lol) and forgets Billy's abuse, so Billy's pissed when they finally talk and he's like????????????? HELLO? You don't care???

They slowly work it out over the next several months, and finally arrange a proper date BUT Billy experiences the crash at the start of season 3, and actually knows about the Upside-Down so he runs fast and far away from Hawkins, standing Steve up, and leaving the team behind to deal with it. Steve knows he's alive because of the dreams but it's still terrifying to wonder if Billy disappeared because he's in that meat spider.

Then he and Jonathan move to NYC and for a while, it's good. Just the daily grind to pay rent and the rush of being outside of their small town. But Steve's growing more and more haunted by the dreams he shares with Billy, because Billy's off living his life and dating - like a normal person, sure, but it still feels like cheating and Steve DID get stood up. They know they're soul mates because they can see colors and Billy left.

He left Steve.

Steve falls into heavy depression, unable to hold a job, Jonathan and Nancy get engaged - rubbing salt into his wounds - he develops an eating disorder because he feels bad about eating the food Jonathan pays for, etc etc etc.

Eventually he reaches a breaking point and uses the credit card his mom pays for to land his ass in therapy. After a few sessions, the woman is like, "Okay. I'm giving you antidepressants and sleeping meds, but you need to really think about the latter because you won't have dreams of your other half anymore."

Steve just wants to stop hurting, so he takes them. And, god, he finally sleeps. The meds make him super groggy throughout the day, and he sleeps like the dead - alerting Jonathan and Nancy that something's wrong, but that's a tangent - but he's finally recovering.

This coincides with Robin getting him a job (because she's in the city too, duh) bartending at a Drag Queen club. Steve's super lost in this place lol he know's he's not straight because - again, Billy - but this whole big, vibrant world of queer culture is new and intimidating and Steve's just so so tired.

But the owner clocks his ability to see colors immediately, because he's visibly bothered by somebody's makeup job. "They're wearing green, unblended foundation but can't tell because it's all grey tones to them."

And when I say this is a club, it's a CLUB. Projected stage, the owner's partner works at a record label, like, the drag scene may be a bit underground, but they're not messing around. These Queens become Steve's fairy godmothers and get him back on his feet, demanding he take dance lessons to be a backup dancer on occasion "Because the people love you, Stevie baby, get your ass on stage."

My favorite point is when the owner tells Steve to go in the makeup room to get a particularly ornery Queen out of their mental crisis and get into costume. Steve discovers their breast plate and it's just NASTY. Covered in caked on makeup and he has his own mental snap of his own. He cleans the weird, silicone thing, and is shouting louder than the whiney Queen,

"THIS IS DISGUSTING! IF YOU CAN'T RESPECT BREASTS THAN YOU DON'T DESERVE THEM AT ALL!"

The owners just love him. "Okay, Bisexual King, you better work."

Meanwhile....

Steve taking the meds to stop his dreams has also made Billy stop having his. And Billy freaks. He thinks Steve is dead, and begins a desperate scavenger hunt to find him.

There's a lot more to this lol like Steve's psychiatrist recommends journaling, and Steve writes a poem that wins a poetry contest, which lands him a big scholarship to an NYC college. So he's colleging by day, Drag Kinging by night. His mom shows up to ask what the hell is so expensive every month on the credit card, and Steve confronts her about her ability to see colors because, "You've worn that specific coral peach shade ever since I was a kid."

So then Momma Harrington is in the mix and the two of them get a place together in the city (probably with Robin too, so that they can have a nice, swanky place and the three of them split the rent). Momma H. also reveals that Steve had night terrors as a kid because he DID see Billy’s abuse. She had to take measures so that he would sleep well and whatever hypnosis they did helped Steve sleep back then.

Steve's writing ability enables him to meet a band, so he writes for the band, and it's an added siphon to get his feelings about Billy out.

It's a very intricate story, obviously lol and it involves a lot of poetry, which isn't my strong suit. But it's very mental health-heavy, so I have to be in a certain place to write for it.

*sigh* thanks for reading lol

#ask #answered #neonponders #gravegroves #ily and hope you have a magnificent day #thanks for checking in 💗🥺 #harringrove

[gossipgirls]

what are your most unpopular gossip girl opinions (if you have any)

ohhhh god okay. i’ve voiced most of these already but having them all bundled up in one post feels like holding up a big “COME DRAG ME” sign. but here we go.

serena is a good character. a lot of people who hate her just either don’t get her or don’t care to try (which is fine haha but don’t go around saying she’s just a shit character then).

serena was never a worse friend to blair than blair was to her. they balanced each other out. 

dan was the only appropriate choice for the identity of gossip girl and i’m not all that bothered by the inconsistencies/plot holes (i.e. “but he was surprised when he saw that one blast!”) - this is definitely because i am an infp and i barely care about details as long as the big picture makes sense to me lmao. eric wasn’t a relevant enough character for it to matter, dorota would’ve been funny but would have made absolutely no contribution to the show’s messaging and would have been way too campy of an ending, georgina was too obvious, nate would have been ooc (particularly since, god love him, he’s just not smart enough to pull it off honestly).

on that same note, derena’s endgame was not ooc for either of them. she definitely deserved way way way better and it’s not my desired ending for her, but it was the most logical way to end the show considering its messaging.

dan and blair were good in s4. i enjoyed them as friends with some unexplored romantic tension and dan having a small crush. it suited them well, and it should have stayed that way for the rest of the series (and would have stayed that way if she hadn’t been depressed and lonely in s5, but that’s not an unpopular opinion lol). but i’ve never been opposed to their s4 kiss or the s4 connection in general.

the majority of the most difficult parts of the show to watch are blairena’s fights. i know a lot of people think of chair as the driving force of the show and like... i love chair and the show was always way more interesting to me when they were together, but i think it’s kind of undeniable that the show just genuinely didn’t work as well when blairena were on the outs after s1. thus, THEY were the central and most important relationship of the show, not anybody else.

jenny and vanessa aren’t that bad. i actually like jenny at several moments, while i just think vanessa is hated way more than she deserves. she was annoying, i guess, but never a truly bad person.

i love ivy. 🤷‍♀️

while i ship serenate above any other serena or nate ship, i often think a van der baizen endgame would have made serena happier than a serenate endgame and would have been truest to the wishes she had expressed since season 1.

beatrice grimaldi is kind of an underrated char, probably because she wasn’t in many eps and because she was working against blair. she was awful but, like, deliciously so.

as a feminist and a fan of serena, i want serena to have a career and succeed and be stable and happy. but her career-based plots were dreadfully boring (so were most characters’ though).

i never minded eva/cheva lmfao. they lasted for like 4 episodes so i don’t care enough to either ship them or hate them, like how anybody even has a strong opinion on them is beyond me. like it just happened so fast that idk why they’re either passionately hated as if they were meant to be a serious ship, or shipped as if they were anything but a symptom of chuck’s escapism.

dan/georgina > every single other dan ship

tripp sucked but the entire s3 tripp plot was honestly absolutely STELLAR.

this is probably just unpopular because nobody but me is thinking about it, but i would have liked for alison humphrey to stay in nyc and be a recurring character (not in every ep like rufus, but just every now and then like harold or cyrus).

juliet could have been a really fucking cool character and i loved her at first sight in 4x01 before i saw the end of the episode. she was snarky and funny and challenged nate in a way that gave him some more depth for a minute. the whole ben plot ruined her, obviously, but she was kinda exactly the kind of woman i’d want nate to be with if not serena...?

i didn’t mind louis at all until he started scheming with chuck’s therapist and then obviously his behaviour at the wedding reception. i didn’t love him and didn’t find blair/louis shippable, but like... they weren’t bad... i’ve never minded watching them together...

i, uh... i didn’t mind sage spence either... she did the same sorts of things that blair and serena did at her age.

the pact with god plot was totally one of the worst blair plots but honestly... not as unrealistic as everyone says and not as out of character as everyone says.

i’m sure this is actually popular, but it just needs to be said: raina should’ve stayed on the show after s4. 

jack bass was neither funny nor interesting.

#answered #anonymous

[andcontemplation]

You’re so cute and amazing! What do you think happened between Hopper, Joyce and Lonnie when they were young? Do you think that Joyce didn’t love Hop romantically in high-school? Or they were in love, but something went wrong(like what?)? Why she fell for Lonnie?

Aw, Anon, now I’m blushing! Thank *you* for being so sweet and kind!

This question… is my whole world. Seriously, not exaggerating. I think about this a lot since it’s the plot for the fic series I’m (slowly) writing. 

Spoilers for the first half of Time in a Bottle below... (specifically Stand By Me and an updated version of Paint it Black which will be published soon) 

So, disclaimer -- my head canon is that Joyce and Hopper are a bit younger in the show than the actors are in real life. I like to think that they graduated HS in 1965 just because it seems to fit in well with actual real-world events and the kid’s birthdates, etc.

I’ll try to keep this history brief, and in point form so I don’t get carried away here lol 

Hopper and Joyce grew up across the street from each other and were best friends from the time they could walk. Their dads were military buddies, until Joyce’s dad died in the Pacific Theater when she was just a baby. Their mother’s remained very close over the years. Hopper’s dad didn’t approve of Joyce’s mom’s lifestyle and marrying again so soon after his friend died though, so there was always some hard feelings there as the kids grew up.

Lonnie was friends with Hopper first, in elementary and middle school. He picked on Joyce and pulled her pigtails, shoved her in the dirt, even though Hopper did it back to him in retaliation, Joyce’s protector.

When Lonnie started to take a real interest in Joyce in high school, that made Hopper jealous and started the rift between them.

Joyce always liked both guys, but in different ways and at different times.

Hopper was her best friend, and they did everything together. He was her first crush at eleven years old, before that was quickly squashed when he told her girls were gross, and also her fifth crush later on when they both started dating in their early teens. Hopper was dating all the pretty blondes though, so Joyce just figured she wasn’t his type and moved on from her little crush, no hard feelings.

Lonnie was the cool, older bad boy in Hawkins (he failed a grade) and Joyce wanted to date him primarily to piss her mom off, but also because he was different than all the other guys she knew. There was something brooding and aloof about him and what teenage girl wouldn’t fall for that stereotype? She didn’t have a crush on him until grade eleven.

Lonnie dates Joyce first, in their senior year of HS, but only because Hopper is too nervous to make a move. Hopper always saw Joyce as a BFF first and he didn’t want to throw a lifelong friendship away just because he had some feelings, if you know what I mean. Still, he finds himself looking at her in a new light now that he can’t have her.

Lonnie treats Joyce like crap though, and she realizes what a jerk he is and breaks it off… the week before Prom.

Hopper asks Joyce to go with him so she didn’t have to skip it or go alone. This stirs up that old crush in Joyce and she realizes her true feelings for her best friend.

They share a perfect kiss at Prom (some trauma too when Lonnie catches them!) and start dating soon after. 

Joyce and Hop spend the summer after highschool completely and utterly head over heels for each other, in a way only young lovers know 🥰 (”Summer lovin’ had me a blast...”)

Even though things are going well between them and he doesn’t want to break it off with Joyce, Hopper enlists for the army to fight in Vietnam, mostly due to pressure from his dad and his peers wanting to go get it over with since a draft was looking to be inevitable by the fall of 1965. Hopper doesn’t think he’ll get called up right away, but he does and has to leave.

Joyce is devastated, but she promises to wait for him and they write each other every week. And they do at first, and become very close; opening up about stuff that they couldn’t even admit to themselves in their love letters. Slowly, as he finishes bootcamp and then special training, he starts to write less and less as things become more and more stressful for him. He doesn’t want to worry her about the shit he’s seeing.

Eventually, he’s facing combat in Vietnam, when he tells he doesn’t think he’ll be able to write for a while. His letter mentions something about a girl named Hannah, who told him to give up, and he just sounds so unlike himself… Joyce isn’t even sure it’s him writing to her any more.

She’s worried about his change in demeanor and upset that he’s seeming ghosted her for another girl (not realizing he was talking about Hanoi Hannah — a propaganda radio host used by North Vietnam to demoralize the US troops.)

A few weeks later, right before Christmas 1966, the awful news comes that Hopper went MIA in the jungles of Vietnam and is presumed dead. Joyce is completely destroyed by this and mourns him.

Lonnie comes back into her life soon after. He sees Joyce is not her usual self and tries his best to make up for being a jerk to her in high school. He asks if they can give it a try again and says that she was the one that got away. He thinks he’s in love with her. She’s the only woman who can clean him up.

Joyce is hurting, her self esteem is nowhere to be found and it’s a bit flattering to hear all that, so she goes along with him, wanting to feel something other than the hurt she feels losing Hopper. She parties hard with Lonnie and his friends, and goes through a bit of a wild streak fighting off her own depression.

A month or so later, Joyce finds out she’s pregnant with Jonathan. Lonnie does the right thing and marries her right away and indeed, he does clean up for a while, in preparation for being a dad. They have a blissful honeymoon stage and are as in love as they can be (considering Joyce is still heartbroken about Hop and it’s Lonnie we’re talking about lol)

While Joyce is in her third trimester, the town of Hawkins gets a shocking bit of news. Jim Hopper is alive! He had been assumed dead when the army found his dog tag next to another man’s body who had stepped on a landmine. In reality, he had been taken as a POW and held for the last eight months by the North Vietnamese.

Joyce is relieved to hear Hopper is okay, but is sad that she has moved on without him. She comes to the conclusion that everything happens for a reason and tries to feel content with the path she’s chosen for herself.

Jonathan is born at the end of 1967 and Joyce falls in love with the new little man in her life.

Hopper is treated in a hospital in Saigon. He’s due to be honorably discharged and sent home if he wants, but when he finds out Joyce is starting a family with Lonnie, he volunteers to stay for another tour.  

When he comes back to the US in late 1968, he stays out in California for a bit, hanging out at Whisky-a-go-go, following the Doors around Los Angeles, sleeping with all the hippie chicks and generally just getting into trouble. 

In 1969, he meets Diane, his nurse at the VA where he’s being treated for his PTSD and they start dating. She wants to move back home to NYC and become a teacher. He plans to follow her...

Phew! That’s a lot...

Hopefully that answers your questions :) I have more history written down that spans 1970 through to 1983 but I will leave it there for now since this pretty much encompasses my head canon for high school/post-high school Jopper (and this post is long enough already lol.)  Thank you so much for the ask! It was fun to answer, and a big help to get it all out on paper in a linear timeline instead of my usual messy notes :)

#jopper #headcanons #asks #answered

[imagining-in-the-margins]

Oh god. This is the most I’ve ever tried to answer at once so... Stick with me, folks lmao!

Answers under the cut 👇

1. AAAA. I’m so glad you enjoyed it! It was honestly a joy to write. Everyone else seems to have been equally heartbroken, and we all have you to thank lmao. The epilogue probably won’t be out for awhile (I want some time away to plan the softness). I hope you enjoy it when it comes! Thank you again for your support and feedback! I very rarely get that and it’s always appreciated.

2. Well, I’m glad someone finds some joy in my rambling! I feel like this has really helped me with my original writing and it’s making me very happy. fanfiction is great and I’m glad you’re enjoying it, too.

3. I do care about you! If it weren’t for you all, I probably wouldn’t be writing. I used to write fanfics before on other sites but felt like the lack of feedback/comments/ideas was so depressing. I put a lot of work into everything I do so I like to know people are at least reading it lol! Getting to talk about it is truly the biggest bonus.

My philosophy in life has changed a lot as I grew older, but the one thing I’ve always consistently felt is that it’s important to make every place and person you visit a better place or a happier person when you leave it - even if the only way to do that is your absence. Which is just to say, I’m glad you think I am a nice person, because it means I get to stay around here with you a little while longer.

4. I’ve gotten a couple requests for Part 2 of Style Theory, but I doubt it. It was one of (if not my very first?) early pieces, and I’ve spent so much time away from it. I really like where it ended and I have other fluff ideas. Almost all Part 2s are on hold for now. I have too many unique requests to drudge back up old ones that I feel had a satisfactory conclusion. I’m not even sure what a Part 2 for Style Theory would look like.

5. I hope the epilogue will help you heal! Thank you for your kind words 🥰 It means a lot. It hurt a lot to write lmao!

6. We talk about this a lot in the Discord, believe it or not. I’m not sure if this was a request or not, but I am incorporating the idea already into another request I got for Post-Prison Spencer’s Innocence Kink. The blurb for that piece is: Big Bad Wolf [requested]: Elementary School Teacher!Reader learns an interesting lesson from the FBI Agent who’s assigned to her classroom during a case. 

7. (In relation to Phoenix) Flower, Bottle, and Stork were words that JJ played in Words With Friends/Scrabble to try to tell Spencer that Reader was pregnant. If she’d only played one word, it wouldn’t have necessarily stuck out.

8. I actually find this request very vague! It also sounds like you are looking for a series. Unfortunately, I already have way too many series ongoing. I’m also realizing that you’ve essentially described the plot of Here to Misbehave, my longest work so far! I’m sure you’ve probably read it already (that’s where most of my readers are from I think?), but if you haven’t, it might be what you’re looking for!

9. Don’t ask about my original story... it’s a disaster 😂 My WIPs right now are a goddamn graveyard. But I’ve been working on a shorter novella idea and it’s making me very happy. Unfortunately I need to actually finish my final law school assignment this week 🥳 So I won’t be working on that or my requests.

10. I love this idea and if you don’t mind, I’d like to incorporate it into The Birds & The Bees, my upcoming series about Virgin!Reader and Prof Reid. I promise it’ll be cute.

11. Hahaha awwwe this is so nice. Thanks for thinking about me. I’m ready to be done with law school at this point, but terrified about what the job market is like right now (as well as having to take the bar exam under unsafe conditions). I’m glad you’re enjoying my writing and I hope I can continue to entertain you!

12. I’ve gotten this request probably 3-4 times now, and I had it on my Masterlist for awhile but moved it to my Fics on the Back Burner list for two reasons: (1) I know of at least two other authors who have the same request and (2) I find it very challenging, because I will never condone the non-consensual hitting of a partner. If I wrote it, I don’t think it’d be what you expect, anyway.

You have better luck asking other authors, although I’ve heard similar feedback from the ones that I talk to. A lot of authors don’t like when people request the same thing from several of us, since we feel like we’re stepping on each others’ toes. Sorry to disappoint! I have a strong feeling you are the same anon who’s sent me the NYC request twice - I still have that one on my Masterlist and plan to write it!

Who the hell just let me write this much? Oh boy.

#answered #answer

[ofmara]

*record scratch* *freeze frame* yep, that’s me. BVCNJ hey lads ~ i’m ally, i’m twenty2, my timezone is est, i use she/her pronouns & full disclaimer: i don’t know what the fuck i’m doing! just keep that in mind when you read this.. trash lmao. anyways! if u wanna plot, feel free to hmu on d*scord at HE IS SO BIIIIG 😩👌🏼🧡#2581 or yk use the lil chat thing on tumblr if u wanna start small or w/e FDCNK no pressure. moving on..

mara’s pinterest: here!

content warning: ..none?? who am i???

( ariana grande & cis female. ) oh my god look, it’s mara de luca! she is a 24 year old singer/songwriter from queens, new york. they were first associated with the met cartel 3 years ago, and the tabloids are always saying she is so impulsive & irreverent, but their stans on twitter say that she is actually really magnetic & passionate.

first thing’s first.. i haven’t written a coherent intro in a fucking Minute, so i’m offering premature apologies for the shitshow that’s about to follow, especially since i really waited til the last second to type this out even if this blog’s been Done for a week smh ANYWAYS!

ok so! mara is what i like to call ‘a textbook new yorker’ in that she’s Loud, she Loves Her Family and she’s Unapologetically Herself. my character inspirations for her are joey from netflix’s the circle, fran fine from the nanny, molly gunn from uptown girls and a little bit of cher from clueless sprinkled in there ( mainly bcos of this gifset lmao ). since i came up with her a few weeks ago, i really had so many different personalities for her but like.. let’s keep reading to see that literally all of them were apparently Not True ~

she was born into a very tightly-knit family & grew up constantly surrounded by them. she’s got three older brothers, meaning she’s the Baby of the family, so she’s been uhhhhhh doted on all her life! we stan! that said, she’s never known what its like to be on her own, especially considering that her family was right by her side every step of the way as she slowly grew her career from childhood. she got her start singing the national anthem at a knicks game when she was 8 and slowly built from there. her parents were always suuuper supportive and did all they could to help her achieve her dreams, even though they were struggling to make ends meet.

her parents own a small bakery in queens that they started when her oldest brother was little and have been a staple in the city ever since. though they’re a somewhat popular spot for tourists and locals alike, ny real estate isn’t cheap, so paying rent both for the store and their apartment above it has always been a struggle, especially once they started dedicating a good portion of their money to plane tickets and agents and all sorts of necessities mara needed in order for her dreams to come true. the extra expense was difficult on her brothers as well, though they made a point never to complain when they had to get a second or third job to help pay the bills.

ANYWAYS she grew up veryyyy close to her family and the sacrifices they made on her behalf didn’t go unnoticed, so the first thing she did when she finally Made It was buy them a bigger space for their bakery ( since her parents Love working it even if its rough sometimes, buddy ) and a new house so ;) we love a Family First mentality!

HOWEVER!! when mara first moved to LA in like?? 2015 or something?? idk timelines.. but anyways when she first moved to LA she was.. how u say.... Depressed cos like even though she was Living Her Dream as the artist she’s always wanted to be ( she lived in queens w/ her family up until after her first Big Break cos she’s a big time daddy’s girl ) .. she was essentially on her own since her family stayed in nyc :/ yk, where they live? yeah. so she was on her own for the first time... Ever & it was scary and stressful and essentially, she wasn’t doing great mentally or emotionally, even if she put on that *ari vc* fake smile.

that was untiiiiiiil she got her first ~ hollywood boyfriend ~ aka someone famous who helped both with her career and as a salve to the constant loneliness the bitch always feelin. long story short, he didn’t last long, but she Needed to feel Wanted so she got Another ~ hollywood boyfriend ~ until it became, like, Her Thing to Always be attached to someone in the tabloids and the press and on Entertainment Tonight. we love a codependent bitch! that’s also kinda how she got to be part of the met cartel cos she immediately attaches herself fully and completely to everyone she meets & falls a little bit in love with every person who has ever said hello to her, so.. Yeah! most of her friendships were likely formed because she just would not leave them alone ( she’s clingy and needy As Fuck, but she knows she is, so she’s constantly worrying about it aka she’s always wondering if people really like her cos she’s been said to be “too much” and “annoying” by some people who.. weren’t interested in being her friend ) anyways.. feel free to lmk if u want ur chara to hate her cos she will fully have her feelings hurt but still want them to like her cos shes a, say it with me kids, people pleaser ~

its v clear why i thought of joey & fran for inspo ( espeeeeecially fran, now that i think about it: i.e. constantly searching for love, lovingly obnoxious ) but as for why she’s like molly gunn... bitch is uhhh naive as fuck and will trust anyone who is even a little bit nice to her so peep her constantly seeing everyone through rose colored glasses and immediately feeling like her heart is broken when they turn out to be someone completely different lmao! also yk in the little mermaid when ariel was like “but daddy, i love him!” ??? YEAH, that’s mara to a fucking T, m8!

i could quite literally go on and on for hours, but to keep it short and sexy, here’s her stats page & i’ll follow up with a list of some little tidbits of info.. some Quirks, if u will..

she hiccups when she cries & BOY does she cry often BVJNCDKM

cannot cook a single mf thing to save her life? yeah.. her parents wanted to let her work in the bakery but .. she burned everything so she was cashier ;)

can quote the entirety of bring it on: all or nothing & as a segue from that, she is very chatty during movies if she’s with even one other person but Silent when she’s alone

will challenge anyone and everyone to mario kart wii as long as she gets to play yoshi ( she has a vendetta against baby peach )

is Constantly Freezing, so she’s always in thick socks and turns the heat up high when she’s at home

has a cavalier king charles spaniel named piper ( yes, i'm using a fc for her dog )

i’m gonna b p selective with which ari songs she’s released both bc i dont like All of ari’s songs & for character purposes ( rip in peace, sweetener )

is classically trained on the piano and sometimes just plays classical music for fun, making up silly lyrics at parties and whatnot lol she’s just Fun & Quirky like that

owns every season of the o.c. on dvd

she has a car but i havent decided if she ever drives it ( or what kind it is, tho i assure u my virgo ass will be researching it at some point ) since she really just barely passed her driver’s test

is constantly in the tabloids for one dumbass thing after the other mostly as an excuse for me to make tabloid edits but like... i love that for her & will 100% be down to include any and all of u if u lmk u wanna be in one

and many more, but i’m really just sitting here rambling UGH EW so lms for plots cos i’m unprepared & i don’t have any wc’s! very on brand for me, i must say

#met:start #♡ — ❛ out of character. ❜ #when u use recycled tags and cant remember what the fuck they are? yeah #anyways!

[purplesurveys]

659

Mosquitoes find you particularly delicious. The rainy season where I live is essentially equivalent to mosquito season, so there is definitely a certain period in a year where they are more than usual; and because I like having just my windows open when I sleep (I find the aircon too cold most of the time), the mosquitoes find their way to my room and so there’d be days I’d wake up filled with new bites. I’m lucky enough to have never had dengue. You cheated on Heads Up 7 Up in elementary school. We don’t play that here. We do have a game called 7 Up and it *may* be a variation of that, but 7 Up involves running and chasing haha. You had a favorite Spice Girl. I’m definitely not old enough to have reached Spice Girls’ peak, and out of all of them I only know Victoria Beckham. You remember watching the first episode of SpongeBob when it came out. I was only a year old when Spongebob first came out, so I didn’t watch it by then. I do know what episode you’re talking about, though – Spongebob was pretty much all I ever watched as a kid. You like to draw. I was never any good at drawing, so I hate every bit of it.

You wish you had a car. Sort of? I have my own car bought by my parents, but I am aiming to get my own car when I could afford it. My dream car is the Mini Cooper Clubman. You used to want to be a model. I’m embarrassed by it now, but it was a legitimate dream of mine before, so much so that I let my dad know of my intention (then) of becoming a runway model. Idk, I had a past friend who was into VS models and reblogged them all the time, so her interest rubbed off on me and I wanted to be like them as well. I cringe every time I remember, lmao. You wanted to be on the show All That. I wanted to be on all the Nickelodeon shows that had the same theme as All That. You enjoy public speaking. I’m good at it and can enjoy it on a good day, but sometimes I’ll get anxious. You have witnessed something supernatural. Nope. I’ve had friends tell me their stories and I believe them, but I can’t say the same for myself. You believe in the supernatural. Just ghosts. I don’t believe in folk creatures, like the ones we have in our native culture. You aren't heterosexual. My survey answers in the last six or so years have made this very blatant. You think the whole transgender thing is stupid. That’s twisted and sad and pitiful. You own a dreamcatcher. Two – one mini dreamcatcher and another giant one. I’ve had an attachment to them since seeing New Moon of the Twilight Saga – there’s a part where Jacob gives Bella her own dreamcatcher at a time when she got depressed and was having nightmares every night, and I know there had been many times when I was like Bella, so I wanted one for myself as well. You'd want a boho wedding. So not my style. My wedding’s going to be minimalist and at most, pastel-themed. You think pink is the best color for cars. Not for me, no. Simple is better; I like my cars white. You've been called a free spirit. Nope, and rightfully so. I wouldn’t call myself a free spirit either. I like trying out new things, but I also like having security blankets and safety nets around. You're the same height as your mom. Yeah pretty much. She’s just a tiny bit taller. You grew up watching Nickelodean. I grew up watching Nickelodeon*, but this works too. My cousins and I just flipped among three channels – Nickelodeon, Disney Channel, and Cartoon Network.

You have a sibling who looks like you. Nah we all have our own distinct looks. There are angles and expressions wherein we look more similar, but generally it’s easy to tell us apart. You like to write in a journal. This account is pretty much like my journal, and I love using this blog for my thoughts and ramblings. You're tired. It’s Friday, it’s the end of the week, and I’m so, so, SO tired. And of course I’m celebrating by drinking two cups of coffee and staying up as late as I want, lol. You felt sick today. The last time this happened was late last year. I felt feverish while I was out for dinner with Gab, but the weird thing about it was that I felt better and as if nothing happened literally a half hour later. You're very creative. That is the LAST word I would use to describe myself. You can be disorganized. I’m organized about a lot of things, but I’m also disorganized about a lot of things. I could never maintain my closet no matter how much I put an effort to fold everything neatly and start from square one. You have a fever right now. Nope.

You've enjoyed babysitting. We never explicitly used this term but I was always the go-to elder kid to look out for my baby cousins, especially when we still lived under the same roof as an extended family, and I loved every bit of it. I was okay with being the motherly figure while everyone else played games or with toys. You want to go to New York City to visit. Yeah. I like bustling cities, so I feel like NYC would be right up my alley. I don’t care much for Times Square though and I would probably spend most of my time going to their museums. You love tea. I’m not obsessed with it; I can take it or leave it. And I don’t like the teas that come with a teabag; I drink either the traditional Chinese tea or just sweet, unhealthy iced tea altogether. You don't play an instrument. Yeah and I get sad about this like two times a day lmao. I wish I could play just a tiny bit of piano and/or violin. You used to want Taylor Swift's hair. I never actively wanted to be anything like her.  You enjoyed High School Musical. Of course. I was THERE when it came out, and I stayed for every bit of the first film, High School Musical 2, and High School Musical 3. I was right smack in the middle of the HSM frenzy and it’s one of the more cherishable moments of my childhood haha. Everybody knew the songs, the steps to We’re All In This Together, and had HSM shirts, bags, pencil cases, and notebooks. You watched The Rugrats Movie in the theater. I barely remember that it had a movie, and I don’t think I ever saw it. Definitely not in the cinemas. You've performed on stage in a musical. I’ve performed on stage (as part of a big group) for annual school productions, but I think they were all plays. Hated every second of it. You've had the lead role in a musical. Certainly not. You've had cramps so bad you threw up. No, but close. A few weeks ago I had a headache SO bad I actually had to run to the toilet only to dry heave. It’s never happened to me before so I got scared and I just slept it off to see what happened the next day. You've never had Nutella. 2010 Tumblr pressured everybody to get Nutella because it was all the rage at the time and all the cool kids were having it, so I also did at some point. You have a favorite blanket. The one Gabie gave me two Christmases ago is my favorite. You own family heirlooms. I’m sure we have some but they haven’t been passed on to me yet.

You have carved and painted pumpkins before. No, pumpkins aren’t really a thing here. As far as I know, coloring/painting on Easter eggs is a more common activity. You have colored Easter eggs. Yes, I used to do this with my (second) cousins when they were younger.

You've walked through a haunted house. I always say I’m into horror stuff, but tbh I think horror movies are the furthest I can go HAHAHA. I’ve never been in a haunted house whether day or night, and I think the only time you’d get me to do it is if I got paid for it. You've dressed up on Halloween. Plenty times. I was Dora the Explorer last year :D :D You've tried to kill yourself. You've had a false rumor spread about you. In Grade 6 I had a rumor come back to me saying I was bi and was seeing my friend Andi (who, to be fair, I had a crush on at the time but I didn’t realize it yet). I just found it cool at all that I had a rumor about me considering I wasn’t a popular kid and had literally 2 friends, so I didn’t let it bother me haaaaah. You've been kicked out of a store (whether for a good or bad reason.) It was at a McDonald’s lmao.  My friends were playing a card game and were yelling every five seconds; I knew people were going to get pissed so I distanced myself as much as possible even though I was at the same table jkfghdgh. Eventually an old man had had enough and asked us to leave, which I was GLAD to do. You have a favorite stove burner that you always use. I don’t have a favorite...the one I use often just happens to be my regular one. You enjoy eating at fast food restaurants. I find them dirty and nasty so I only eat there if I absolutely have to, but I do like getting takeout and enjoy fast food in general. You like arrows and feathers and peace signs. Ugh cringe, this SCREAMS 2010 Tumblr hahahahaha. I mean I liked all of these at some point, but not now. You want to wear a flower crown for your wedding. Hell no. It was cute for a while, but not anymore. You have signed someone else's yearbook. We don’t do that here. We pay tons of money for our yearbooks that it’s practically destroying them if we ever wrote on them lmao. You were shy in high school. For the first half, I was shy and pretty unpopular. By the latter part of high school I managed to gain friends and end up in the ~popular~ circle, but I was still shy compared to my peers. I didn’t take up a lot of extracurriculars (which is what the popu kids tended to do) but I managed to stay within the circle until the end of it. You're shy when first getting to know someone. Of course, as most would be I would imagine. I can warm up fast, though. You've gotten all A's in a class before. In high school, this was me with English and history. In college, this would be me with my history electives.

You had a favorite class and a favorite teacher in high school. Sure! Our biology teacher in sophomore year was evvvvverybody’s crush. She was so pretty and kind and smart; when we went to a beach for our field trip, I tried getting stung by a jellyfish just so she’d treat the bite on my leg cos she was one out of two faculty members who knew how to treat stings HAHAHAH. I didn’t get the highest marks in her class, but I enjoyed nonetheless. You were a teacher's favorite. BY NO MEANS. Gabie was, though. We were total polar opposites when it came to how we acted in class. You've won a costume contest. I...don’t think I ever did, but my mom did go all out when it came to coming up with our costumes as kids. You have a favorite Disney princess. It used to be Ariel, then I found her annoying. My present favorite is Rapunzel. You get carsick. Only if I excessively do something while in a moving vehicle, like text or read. You've flown first class. Never have. You hate inequality and wish life were more fair. Don’t we all? You've had a bad neighbor. They weren’t bad per se. Just a bit chaotic and the kids (a little older than I was at the time) clearly had behavioral issues. I was so relieved when they moved out. You've done a cannonball. I don’t think so. You have fallen and hit your head. Nope, and that sounds like the literal worst thing. You like sunflowers. Sure! It’s a popular UP symbol – every year, a few weeks before the university-wide graduation, they’d plant huuundreds of sunflowers to line up the entire road leading to my school :) We usually refer to sunflowers as a sign of encouragement to keep on keeping on, so that one day the sunflowers will bloom for us as well. You like the name Skylar. It’s alright. I like it because it’s the name of the badass mom in Breaking Bad, but otherwise it’s nothing too special for me. You've had a friend named Sarah. I have acquaintances with the name Sarah but they’re not my friends. You have an Aunt Robin. Nope. I would end up being the Aunt Robyn in a few years, hahahaha. You have an Uncle Rick. I’ve never heard of an Uncle/Tito Rick, but with how big Filipino families are I wouldn’t be surprised if I turned out to have one. You have a cousin Annabelle. No, but close. I have an Auntie Bel whose whole name is Amabel. You think flying a kite is boring. I never had fun doing it, or whenever we had to do it as a school activity. You were born in the year of the Dragon. Tiger, yo. You like your Chinese zodiac sign better than your American one. I don’t care for either. Your laptop has shut off because it got too hot. It’s never done this before, thank goodness. I try not to overwork it either. You've accidentally caught something on fire. Nope, I don’t think this has happened to me before. You make your bed every day. Aside from my mom requires me to, a neat bed makes the entire room feel much cleaner so I do it anyway. You wear a digital watch. I have a bad record of losing watches, so I never like wearing them. You have a favorite park. We don’t have a lot of parks here to even pick favorites from to begin with, which is a shame. You've hiked a mountain. I want to sooooo bad. It’s just never happened before/yet. You want to hike a mountain again. ^ You've been a slave. What the fuck. You feel like you've had your free will stolen from you. My parents were quite strict before but it never felt this bad. You speak in tongues. If you mean I can speak more than one language, then sure. You enjoy medieval festivals. Never been interested in anything medieval. Your favorite fair ride is the pirate ship. I don’t ride rides. Cotton candy isn't that good. It’s a cute concept but I wouldn’t always pay for it.  Men look good in pink. Men – and anybody – would look good in any color so long as they’re comfortable with it lol. You went to youth group. Hell no. I’m glad my mom never forced me either. You were baptized in a lake. No. Just in a church. You were on Color Guard. I have no idea what this means. You went to your senior prom. We had a junior prom that I went to, and that was it for my school; but I was also asked to go to a senior ball of another school. Your first kiss was just an experiment. No, it was a legit kiss. You dated a guy you didn't like. Almost did, though. You have fallen asleep in class. Never. I never want this to happen, either. You have won an award. A few times. You type fast. Yeah, you get used to it through the years. You have a lot of dreams for your future. I still want to do a lot, yes. You've gone camping in the woods. Never, but it’d be a cool experience. I wouldn’t want to be alone though. You love to sleep under the stars. I don’t get to do this but it sounds like a lovely time. You've gone camping in the fall. I haven’t gone camping at allllllll. You own a pair of slipper socks. That sounds way too hot for where I live lmao.

#survey #surveys

[theinsanecrayonbox]

KP finally finishes Gifted s2

gave up on this back when FOX was stupid and Marvel had me jaded (still does but meh). so here’s the final 3 episodes and my incoherent babble about them i guess, after not watcing the show or nearly a year and only having my previous babble session as a refresher about what’s going on

Episode 14:

 for once the “previously on dbz” segment is needed since,. yeah been almost a year since i’ve watched this...whoops

heeeey opening flashback! i forgot the format of this show...-.- oh hey not-Graydon...you know his comment about “freaks to teleport me through traffic” would’ve been funnier if he was Graydon, since Kurt is technically his sibling...as is Clarice... just saying.

oh right, Lauren was dosed with serum. well, at least it’s working right, really screwing her up. but again, Mom is the only rational and logical one.

how are sewers large enough for a tent metropolis? but oh hey, she knows about past Morlocks hm??? maybe cause some Mauraders action...hm??? or something they previously established with the Brotherhood or not-Bishop explained that i can’t remember, whatever. i’m just happy to see Blink. and the Morlocks have a network to places...like Pittsburgh? i thought they just live din NYC...ok in this story it’s just DC because that’s where we’re set ok, but still...

wait not-Graydon is making Sentinel Guy do the Mauraders plotline?? ooo...

is the Hellfire building CGI? that..looked badly shaded...and Lorna’s hair still looks stupid...though Andy’s hair does too...why do the bad guys have bad fashion sense?

i hadn’t forgotten how Mary Sue the Struckers were though...uhg...but hey don’t sweat it Mom, if Moira McTaggert’ taught us anything, you’re never the only non-mutant in the pro-mutant side; turns out you’l end up being one all along eventually.

oh good back to Blink. please don’t flirt with not-Bishop though. just...go fight Purifiers, since that was backstory for you, ok, that’s way better than flirting. wait Gabby? uh...when’d Blink get blue in her hair?

wait Cop Man, were they dead when you found them, or did you...overall though, i am really liking the atmosphere of the Purifer’s tunnel raid. the mood and tension are great, and the cinematography is doing a good job at keeping it. it’s a shame the editor feels the need to cut back to sunny Hellfire tower to break the atmosphere...but hey

oh don’t get cocky Morlock guys...and grenade, yup cocky. but again, the lighting and mood of everything in the tunnels is really good. the power effects not so much...but tv budget. and i had actually forgotten not-Bishop had a lazer eye O.o

dang Mom you are still best OC here

nooooo you shot Blink!!! baby girl nooooooo. idc about Sentinel Guy’s burst of conscious at “wait there are mutant children?” you shot best girl Blink. boo on you

Episode 15:

flashback time yay -.- but Blink! won’t make me forget you shot her since the recap ended on that...but hey tell me more about her past please, i really want to know why she doesn’t think she’s best girl. just saying “i was with the brotherhood and i didn’t like it” doesn’t cut it...and John no, you’re not allowed to give out redemption to everyone unless they are convenient to your aesthetic or philosophical interpretation, that’s why Krakoa preaches

John you don’t have time to fight not-Bishop out of grief ok. you were a ranger, you should realize that.

wait, so Reeva’s the one to blame for the council of stupid on Krakoa? that...actually makes sense, since she’s done tones of hypocritical last minute rule changing plans. weird.

really, my joke about Sentinel Guy’s heel turn was right? he honesty never realized that there were mutant children? i...wow

hey Lorna’s tiara. it makes her hair slightly less stupid looking. makes her outfit a tad stupid though...she should have more of that green popping somewhere, like her knives or a wrist band, or something.

really John just stayed there punching a wall and no cops found him? bad writing.

oooo is Dad gonna fry Cop Man?? sorry, disintegrate, i forgot what he did. and holy crap he did-sweet!

there are a lot of dutch angles in this episode...

oh Lauren don’t turn on your Mom, c’mon! why is no one thinking realistically?

hehe Cuckoos and fashion joke...although why did they get a pop of color elsewhere...or were the boots white just to point out the dirt

“do you think we can mind control our way to a mutant homeland” hm...should i just put in a cut off now for shots at Krakoa?

Mom you’re the only one with a brain! don’t sacrifice yourself because “i has no powers”

gasp! Sentinel Guy *SEES* a mutant child, now he knows for reals they exist. i’m sorry but this heel turn for him is stupid. i get the “i never saw them as *people* and now i do” but the way it’s framed is, as i’ve said “wait there are mutant CHILDREN?? O.o” and that is just bad writing

i swear, if Lorna trying to save Andy gets her killed, i will hate the Wonder Twins even more forever. but at least i agree with his “well her plan sounds stupid” when he learns the truth. they could’ve colored Lorna’s zippers the metallic green, that would’ve tied her costume together...sorry distracted

Lauren’s shield looks like bubble wrap...and she’s super pouty wth?

ok the Dad-Andy monster talk was really good...ruined by Lauren’s stupid face inserts sure, but the talk was really good.

hey back to not-Graydon and Sentinel Man. ah yes, i knew killing Cop Man would just switch Sentinel Man back in the end, that is also why his little epiphany was so annoying, because ultimately it was pointless.

aw man sappy music when the OC Family gets back together...yeah ok, but still i’ll groan a bit because uhg. but ooo Lorna comes back to Marcos too ok now it’s less groany (but still overly cheesey and neon annoying). do kinda like John on the roof...too bad the over the top music drones it out a bit.

Episode 16:

the finale! i don’t...know what to expect going into this, other than Blink pops in at the end and might be Exiles Blink?

hey the last time shows the reunion scene would’ve worked well without the over the top music. huh

oh the flashback is the 7/15 event. heh Hawks News, instead of Fox, heh. but otherwise...meh, mandatory flashback

so their plan is, use the Uber Mary Sue Wonder Twins to destroy a skyscraper. i...sure, what else can we expect from the Strucker Show (maybe Dad will sacrifice himself and do it all on his own, that’d be a neat-yet obvious-twist)

you can tell John’s depressed cause his hair isn’t floofy anymore ^^;;;

again, Mom’s the only one with thinking ahead skills.

oh, we’re getting spliced in flashbacks...yeah Dad’s gonna die.

Cuckoos! srry, still one of the best parts of any episode. and our dear Esme is starting to turn...

oh John’s going Warpath on us with his face paint (yes he’s Thunderbird, i know). the John vs Sentinel Guy thing might be a bit much, but this is an awesome fight for John...even if he is being a fool and self sacrificial.

at least it was a commercial break that broke the energy of the fight scene, and not just a scene change. also, more flashback, i’m even more convinced Dad is gonna die.

did they dye Andy’s hair so he and Lauren would look more twinny? that’s stupid...and a point i probably already made...

hm...since Bishop is from the future, are they implying that Erg is his ancestor? (though that fails to track with the timeline of DoFP IF this is the same continuity of course)

ooooooo John said it, he is Thunderbird...and i think his face paint changed between shots because that white line wasn’t there by the dumpster scene...whoops

oh don’t tell me the power of friendship is going to save the day. oh good, no, just the standby of “kill the evil cuckoos”

well the Wonder Twins are down for the count, so even more thinking Dad’s gonna die to blow up the Hellfire building...wait...you can’t control your powers when Reeva sonic screams? well Dad has no control-PERFECT!

wow there are a lot of power fights here. no wonder the affects in other episodes sucked, they spent the budget on the finale lol

hey Dad has the same plan i did. again, the writing telegraphed that was the ending...but still, i give Dad credit, he has grown as a character. the flashback doesn’t help though it just spells it out “this is best OC love him he is best ever” which...yeah, this show does that with the Struckers, we’ve covered that a millions times by now

i wonder if Dad touched himself would be disintegrate? also, shouldn’t his kids be safe, since same strain of X-gene are supposed to be immune...or does that only apply to certain power types?

not to play it down, but yup, dad exploded. if it wasn’t so thrown at you that that was how it’d end from, the start, then this moment might’ve had more impact...also the moment itself was kinda “you knew this was coming, there it’s done”

hey Esme’s on their team now, neat! i thought she’d be independent.

heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey Blink’s back! but she had a collar on her coat that was reminiscent of her AoA costume, and she opened a portal to a place with burning fire...kinda like the DoFP setting/AoA, and she never addressed anyone by name, just a general “come with me”....so yeah, that was totally Exiles Blink, and not the Blink of this story. that’s really kinda awesome.

too bad we won’t be following up on that since there’s no plans for season 3. but...it was an ok way to end i guess. it closed off the story for our main people, and we all know that it’ll never end with a “and they all lived happily ever after in peace and harmony” because it’s Xmen. it opens the door for other stories to happen in the same setting...and leaves the big hole about Blink at the end, but yeah...

but now it’ll never be followed up probably because disney/marvel thinks the Xmen are the Inhumans now *shrugs* whatever, i finally finished The Gifted, i can check that off my To-Watch List

#kp watches stuff

[nyruratchet]

Time...

“...Why you punish me?”

So, I explained last time the situation regarding the creation of my music...monetarily. But let me explain and expand on how my time is utilized on a monthly basis.

If I haven’t made it clear, I hate my job. But here’s the thing, it’s flexible (for the most part), has benefits: (insurance, free-ish air travel, scheduled pay increases). Cons: passengers are allowed to treat crew like shit, always working with new people (that you may not mesh well with), anyone you try establishing a relationship with has pre-conceived notions/little to no faith you will ever be around, pay SUCKS until you get REALLY senior (7+), and...more, but I digress. But that flexible schedule, albeit limited, has afforded me the ability to work on music; until it doesn't. 

See, I was getting “comfortable” in my work situation a few years ago until certain a situation beyond my control forced me into deep debt, bad credit, and deeper depression. In order to fix all of this, money is needed. How do u get money? Work more. More work leads to more depression and sometimes health issues. So, I’ve been stuck in this seamlessly endless cycle of paycheck to paycheck living. And my desire and NEED to work on my music has not helped it (as explained in the previous blog post). Every time I get a bit more money, it goes to my craft. 

See, after you put all that money into creating art, you have to then put it OUT there. And in the case of a performer, you need to do live performances. That is a whole other situation in itself. There are lots avenues to get live performance experience. Open mics, concert showcases, live cabaret/karaoke bars, etc. Guess what THEY ALL COST MONEY. But not only money, LOTS of excess time is involved. 

This past spring, I was dragged into a showcase by my producer friend (who I’m partially in love with but he’s straight...but that’s another story). In order to do a showcase, you have to apply for acceptance. Applications involve you submitting current work and having a worthy social media following (which you have had to spend constant time building). Once you fill out the application, send the files and info, PAY your entry fee ($25) and receive your acceptance, you then have to sell tickets. Yes, how do they get people to come to the showcase? By having YOU bring them. And if you cannot find people to buy your tickets, all of those tickets come out of YOUR pocket. So, I was given 25 tickets to sell (last minute mind you); 25 tickets to sell at $20 bucks each. So, if I don't sell them, I owe the company $500 dollars. Yup, that’s correct. In order for me to perform my original content on their stage, I needed to make sure they got their $525 and help them get people in the venue so that they buy drinks at the bar (which we were given ZERO drink tickets for). Now before stepping on stage, you don’t get a sound check. So, you show up early before everyone to check in and simply check they have your correct music file(s) then wait...and wait...and wait. But your music has to be edited within their restrictions (this means more studio time. Remember, studio time =more $$...just making sure ur following me. Too many times you’ll hear big recording artists talking about how they have just sat in studios for hours creating a song from scratch. Yeah, only if you are signed to major label is this a thing! But anyway...back to the showcase.) 

Needless to say, I did everything I needed to. But I had some help since I asked to do this last minute and told them UP FRONT they would have had to get that unsold ticket money from me in blood. I landed from working a redeye the day before, got a nap in, did my vocal exercises in my car on my way to New Jersey, checked in and sat there. Since some people didn't show up on TIME, I was abruptly grabbed from drinking my whiskey at the bar and told “YOU’RE ON NEXT!”  Being the seasoned professional that I am, took that shot to the head, said “Actually, that’s not my slot...but ok, I’m ready.” NO SOUND CHECK, NEVER given TIME on the stage beforehand...I went on. Sung my ass off with a standing ovation from the judges. Then, went back to drinking with my friends who were in shock because they had never heard me really sing live. Then I had sit for HOURS while mediocre “rappers” and “singers” rapped over pre-recordings of their own vocals. Finally, they were ready to announce the winners. I won that sucker.

But what did I win? ...A promise to be put into another show... *DICK FACE*  No money to recoup what I just spent getting to this moment. No free promotion on social media to help me and my art. NO, some bullshit. So, I took the experience fore what it was and cut my losses. I got some exposure and was able to test out an unreleased song...but besides that. Nothing but wasted time and effort. I left there feeling somewhere between elation and disappointment. Not to mention, I was exhausted; I had done all this after working my full time job, and had to work again the next day. So all I had time to do was drive home and sleep. 

“Like a wave bashing into the shore...

Since this, I have had some money issues and mental health issues, so I have just barely been able to work on music. On my days off, I have to sleep and get back in the groove of being a real person instead of a redeye zombie. Then when I’m feeling slightly normal, I’m back to work...it is a vicious, irritating, restraining cycle. I’ve tried working shorter flights so I’m home more; nope, the pairings (schedules) for those flights work you in a way that leaves you feeling raped. My company will build a pairing with a duty time of 27hrs and only pay you for 15-17 of those hours. DOESN’T MAKE SENSE. Then on top of that, your rest time at the hotel is set to 11hrs...WTF?? 

Let me explain this for those of you with normal jobs. On these pairings, you are schedule to work a number of flights each day. So, 3 day pairing means you work 3-4 flights each day and have 2 layovers. Now lets say FLIGHT time is 1.5-2.5 hrs each (8-12hrs). Then you land from your final flight for day one. We’re usually delayed at our carrier...honestly, rarely on time. So, you have minimum rest at 11hrs. BUT, before you can leave the aircraft we have to get all passengers off the plane, CLEAN the seats, wait on our shuttle which is probably late if your pilots are sucky human beings and haven’t called ahead to make sure they’re there (Pilots aren’t required to clean; just us lowly peasants). So, by the time you get to the hotel, down to 10hrs. If you get there and rooms are ready, great. IF NOT, another 20-30 min or longer. But, lets say you’re down to 9.5hrs now. Get to your room. Hopefully your key works, air/heat works, no one is already in you room (yes...it happens all the time), room already cleaned, no bed bugs, and you aren’t by a noisy ice machine/elevator. You then have to shower and eat. Let’s say you get all that done in an hour. You now have 8.5 hrs to sleep...BUT WAIT, the van is scheduled to pick you up from the hotel 45 min to an hour before you are supposed to report at the airport and you need to be dressed and ready to make that van. So instead of 8.5hrs, you actually have 7hrs at best to sleep and pop outta bed, get dressed and properly ready to do the shit show all over again; all the while, knowing they are really only paying you for the time you spend on the aircraft, AFTER THE DOOR IS CLOSED AND THE BRAKE IS RELEASED. Time before like boarding, checks, delays? nope...no pay. Just us waisting our fucking time. Literally.

Why, is this? cuz everyone does it is the answer. That is how all airlines do it, so you have no leg to stand on. Got a union, the company retaliates like a reprimanded toddler. Now as I said before, once you get to be a super senior in your company and can choose what you want to work, when you want to work, in the position you want to work, getting $40/hr at base hours and a crazy amount for premium (overtime) hour, etc. the job is GOLDEN. (Unless that company gets purchased/merged.) But for a young person/flight attendant in debt, living in NYC, with a high cost of living, life ain’t fun. I tried living in New Jersey for a lower cost; that came with its own issues. I’ve taken out loans, became a hermit to save money, worked holidays, etc. Dug my hole deeper is what I did. And I’m pretty good at setting goals and managing my time and getting things DONE. But for some fucking reason, life is not working in my favor. This job is not working for me. I see younger people coming up behind me doing LITTLE to no work, getting musical accolades with trash “music” (I know, matter of opinion...but really. C’mon now), young white/latino/asian twinks shaking their ass for anything that breathes and getting rich men to pay their bills or marry them, all the while telling me they just want my BBC or other racist BS like that (Yes, I have receipts) and I’m just like WTF AM I DOING WRONG?! Have I spent my time stupidly? 

And the most recent shit that really hurt my feelings: If any of you remember (to the three of you reading this lol), a few months ago I posted about help getting into bartending. Well, I had actually asked a friend in person before that about bartending and if he knew any directors who could do a music video. This “friend” told me “no, not really”. Didn’t know anything about that, he just does movies and short films (which I’ve donated to his kickstarters for btw...) but no one who he thinks does music videos. THEN, I asked this same “FRIEND” how much he would charge to be IN a music video, as I had a song (the one I won the showcase with) that he would be perfect for as it deals with subject matter he rallies for. I wanted to help his career out in turn by help my video out, because I’m ugly and having beautiful actors in my video would be a better sell (as again, I need this song to make money. He then tells me me, he’s not sure how much he would charge for that. SEVERAL MONTHS LATER...this bitch releases a music VIDEO to his NEW SINGLE about a SIMILAR SUBJECT!! Without promotion, he gets instant 2.2k hits on the video on youtube. MIND YOU, he would always be shy to sing around me and I told him, “you need to give yourself more credit. You have a beautiful voice.” Meanwhile, I’m asking for some knowledge from him, and he wouldn’t help me with ANYTHING. I have NEVER asked for a hand out. Just tell me where the door is, I will get in even if I have to pick the lock. But he not only pretended he didn’t know where the door was, he was holding the keys, had lock picks on the side and duplicates to share; But, for whatever reason...didn’t want to share that with me. Even though, I was going to include him in MY art without any thought and was willing to pay. Now, I have some thoughts on why he did this. But seeing as I’m on the verge of tears, I’ll end on that note.

...You wash away my dreams.”

[paeoniaes]

85 questions tag!

rules: answer 85 statements about yourself, then tag 20 people

Tagged by @briskythesovietspy​. Thanks for another tag! Here we go...

Annnd tagging: @nightmare1514 have fun 8D

last

1. drink: raspberry tea 👌🏼

2. phone call: my grandmother

3. text message: my brother and sister

4. song you listened to: Sanctuary by Utada Hikaru

5. time you cried: honestly don’t remember

ever

6. dated someone twice?: nope

7. kissed someone and regretted it: nope

8. been cheated on: nope

9. lost someone special: nope

10. been depressed: yep 

11. gotten drunk and thrown up: was close to drunk and almost threw up lol

fave colours

12. blue

13. black

14. white

in the last year have you…

15. made new friends: yes. she was also my roommate lol

16. fallen out of love: nope

17. laughed until you cried: yep!

18. found out someone was talking about you: not that i know of...

19. met someone who changed you: not really

20. found out who your friends are: no changes

21. kissed someone on your Facebook friends list: nope, got rid of facebook a long time ago

general

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl: all of them bc they were from highschool

23. do you have any pets: do fish count? 

24. do you want to change your name: no. i feel like that would be disrespectful to my parents.

25. what did you do for your last birthday: drank?? i honestly don’t remember xD

26. what time did you wake up today: noon lol

27. what were you doing at midnight last night: studying for my bio exam 

28. what is something you can’t wait for: to graduate university and be FREE

30. what are you listening to right now: Abracadavre by Kevin Sherwood

31. have you ever talked to a person named tom: prob idk

32. something that gets on your nerves: dumb drivers on the highway

33. most visited website: lately it’s been my online hw lol or twitter

34. hair color: black

35. long or short hair: rn its a bit past my shoulders

36. do you have a crush on someone: no

37. what do you like about yourself: i’m independent and optimistic. 

38. want any piercings?: yes more ear piercings

39. blood type: i don’t even know it xD 

40. nicknames: a lot of childish ones from my dad lol

41. relationship status: single 

42. zodiac: Aquarius/chicken

43. pronouns: she/her

44. fave tv shows: Black Mirror, Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries

45. tattoos: nope

46. right or left handed: right handed

47. ever had surgery: nope

48. piercings: just my ears

49. sport: i’m as athletic as a potato lol. 

50. vacation: a lot of places but i do want to go back to NYC and actually be able to walk around and enjoy it unlike the time i went to visit my uncle...he was unpleasant :( 

51. trainers: reebok

more general

52. eating: currently eating chili c:

53. drinking: raspberry tea! 

54. i’m about to watch: nothing bc i’m too busy studying atm D:

55. waiting for: this week to be over bc i’m tired xD

56. want: pass this summer course, graduate, get into my career and make money to pay off school loans 😭

57. get married: maybe

58. career: lab tech but working towards being a pathologist

which is better

59. hugs or kisses: neither. if you’ve ever heard of “the five languages of love” i’m a big fat ZERO for physical touch xD

60. lips or eyes: eyes

61. shorter or taller: taller so i can reach stuff xD

62. older or younger: doesn’t matter

63. nice arms or stomach: arms baby 😎

64. hookup or relationship: relationship

65. troublemaker or hesitant: neither

have you ever

66. kissed a stranger: nope

67. drank hard liquor: yes

68. lost glasses: nope

69. turned someone down: yes

70. sex on first date: nope

71. broken someone’s heart: yes

72. had your heart broken: yes but by family

73. been arrested: nope

74. cried when someone died: yes

75. fallen for a friend: nope

do you believe in

76. yourself: sometimes

77. miracles: sometimes

78. love at first sight: nope

79. santa claus: nope

80. kiss on a first date: again, zero on the physical touch so no 😂

81. angels: nope

other

82. best friend’s name: her name was Luzy

83. eye color: brown

84. fave movie: Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade

85. fave actor: Danai Gurira

#tagged

[mcarfield]

Me listening to this new James McArdle podcast interview: HIS VOICE IS SO BEAUTIFUL HELP GOD @earlgreytea68 :  awwwww I can't help, sorry I now have to disappear to write my words boo Me: yes you should do that leave me here to die it's fine

MORE THOUGHTS i’m just going to have a freakout on you guys here hi

- omfg James dying to get back to Glasgow, bless his heart <3

- he sounds so exhausted oh my gosh my sweet son. And the shock at how bad Manhattan smells in the summer, haha. oh James.

- omg! he had an emergency operation over the break between London/NYC!!!! HE THOUGHT HE WASN’T GONNA GET TO BROADWAY OMG THIS DRAMA

- His care and attention for the Jewish aspects, like, he’s talked about that before, but he’s so — “you knew in new york they were out for blood if you didn’t” 

- AHA. HERE WE GO. HIM TALKING ABOUT HOW YOU’RE ON SHOW CONSTANTLY IN NEW YORK. “Everything was held at the Marriott Marquis in Times Square, all I can remember is being at the Marriott and shaking — these botox faces “ — this actually is hilarious to me because I competed in a national talent competition (and won, no humblebrag) when I was in high school and every year it was in the Marriott Marquis and it was such a big deal and so I’ve always associated that hotel with the hoity toity Broadway shenanigans ad I love this.

- NO BUT REALLY JAMES MCARDLE, WE ALREADY KNEW YOU WERE CONSTANTLY EXHAUSTED BY HAVING TO DO THE RED CARPET. 

[Me: omg he's talking about how much he hated doing the red carpet in NYC and how you were "always on show" omfg like am i not writing a fic about this literally right now BECAUSE I SEE INTO YOUR SOUL, JAMES MCARDLE

EGT: oh my god lol ]

- James talking about how everyone kept freaking out about how Scottish he was to be playing Louis, okay, someday i’m seriously going to make a roundup of all the times over his career that James McArdle has been Scots-shamed because it is ABSURD and RIDICULOUS and INFURIATING and APPARENTLY PERPETUAL, this keeps happening to him it’s so ludicrous okay i’m calm it’s cool

- and then he's just like, "it went well, thankfully" aksjfd;lasdfklasdslsadfkladsa oh my god the downplaying, i cannot. HE SERIOUSLY HAS NO IDEA HOW PHENOMENAL HE IS. he’s so self-deprecating. 

- AAAAAAND now he’s talking about the UK class system, yes, yes, and “I think to certain audiences I will always be a Scottish actor” YES, DRAG THEM ALL, JIMMY.

(Also it took us a grand total of exactly 6 minutes to arrive at UK class politics because this is an interview with James McArdle and that’s just what you get, god i love him <3 <3 <3)

- omfg when he says that he felt like the new york crowd was baying for blood with him in particular, i 100% agree with this, all the reviews and audience comments i’ve read for this show from NYers, people just seemed so vicious about him not being Jewish (way more than Andrew not being queer), and the critics just couldn’t seem to get over his Scottishness, and it just has grated on me so much guys, i’m so sad that he felt that, too, BUT ALSO LOOK HOW MUCH HE FUCKING SHOWED THEM.

- James about the UK version of Scots-shaming = “They say you’re Scottish but they mean you’re working class, and you’ll never escape that” Yes, yes. He’s hinted at this so many times, and i’m glad he’s just coming out and saying it.

- His love for the James plays <3

- ALSO HIS HILARIOUS MOCKERY OF POSH BRITISH ACCENTS LOL

(James McArdle, you will absolutely one day play Hamlet, and that fellow RADA student who told you that you never would was probably losing his mind and feeling incredibly threatened because of how fucking incredible you are)

- They're setting Peer Gynt in Scotland because James is Scottish! What! Why are they doing this ahaha! THIS IS SO WEIRD. I MEAN. I WILL STILL SHOW UP FOR IT 8 TIMES BUT ISN’T THIS KINDA CONDESCENDING?!

- “Marianne Elliott is a perfectionist and i love her for that” <3

- Tovey didn’t want to do it, HMMMM, that’s so leading, I think that’s so veiled haha. 

- JAMES THINKS PRIOR IS A BIT OF A WHINGE AHAHAHA OMG I LOVE HIM <3 SPOKEN LIKE THE GUY PLAYING LOUIS, THAT’S THE MOST HILARIOUS <3

- James saying he views the play as one big play and not two plays is very validating, this is also how I feel! THANKS BUDDY

- oh my god the Mouse Hunt story jklsadf;a

- I love him talking about Nathan Lane lolol

- I ALSO LOVE THE TWO OPENINGS TO BOTH PARTS OF THE PLAY I’M SO HAPPY HE GAVE THESE BEAUTIFUL MONOLOGUES THE LOVE THEY DESERVE <3 

- “by the end of the fucking run they were just clap-happy. Ugh, it’s not a musical” sdf;lafkldsf;klsdfklasd oh my god i love him he’s the best

- “it’s good but it’s better that it’s over” ahahaha GUYS WHAT WAS I JUST SAYING LOL 

- oh my gosh him describing how the fear of the Democracy in America scene got worse over time, and how it actually got "unbearable”!!!!! oh gosh, you can totally understand why he was afraid, too, because like I said elsewhere on this tumblr, the audience often thought he was dropping/missing lines when he was just delivering them so erratically and Louis-y omg <3 <3 James ILU you’re wonderful

- ahahaha omg the description of him dropping the single line though as Louis ahaha, god, he’s amazing, i love that he’s so open about the PSYCHOLOGICAL TERROR THAT IS ACTING HAHA

- his stance on being terrified of complacency is so obvious in everything he does, ahaha, what a good

- “i’m not method or anything, but i’m neurotic” — *rolls up sleeves* OKAY HERE WE GO DSAFKLJADS;F

- ANDREW IMMEDIATELY NOTICING THAT JAMES WAS FREAKED OUT BECAUSE HE MESSED UP A SINGLE WORD IN THEIR SCENE THOUGH

- OKAY

LIKE

TONIGHT

I AM LEARNING

THAT JAMES MCARDLE IS A WALKING HURT/COMFORT TROPE OH MY GOD DSFKLJ;AFD

THIS STORY ABOUT HIM FORGETTING THIS SINGLE WORD AND HAVING 2 SOLID WEEKS OF STAGE FRIGHT IS SO SAD AND PURE :( :( :(

[EGT: I hope Andrew fucked him out of it

sdkf;akdsfkdskds ]

- James is so proud of being a PACE kid, awwwwww that’s so dorky and sweet

- “I still feel like I’m 16″ sdflkas;fdadskfa; omg the self-deprecation is so real

- “I feel like I’m an 87-year-old woman trapped in the body of an 18-year-old but the truth is I’m just an average 28-year-old man” wait wait DID HE JUST AGE HIMSELF DOWN A YEAR, I THOUGHT HE WAS 29?  ahaha how does nobody know how old he is, i kept having to update his age in my first fic because i kept reading different reports about how old he was, god lol

- "i can't sing. i don't do false modesty and i'm telling you i can't sing."

jsdflsajflasjdljfs;lksdsd okay okay okay

1) lol somehow i already knew he couldn’t sing because he seems like the kind of guy who is philosophically opposed to the idea of himself singing ahaha

2) “i don’t do false modesty” oh my god this is so hot lololol

3) BUT ALSO JAMES MCARDLE YOU’VE JUST SAID LIKE 80 SELF-DEPRECATING STATEMENTS IN THIS ONE INTERVIEW ALONE LOL, INCLUDING THIS ONE

4) LOL WHATEVER FUCK YOU  <3

- OH MY GOD THIS BAT STORY ASLDKJF;SFAD THIS BAT STORY

- i love that he’s telling his RADA audition story, omg <3 i’ve been wanting him to elaborate on this story!!!!! “you cheeky little bastard” — omfg i love him, you are a cheeky little bastard, well done, James McArdle <3

- “James McArdle, you walk like a fucking pogo stick” askldfjflaks;df what ahaha

- THEY’RE DOING AN AUDIOBOOK OF ANGELS <3 I’M SO EXCITED FOR THIS <3 

- how is he still allowed to not say what the play is, WE ALL KNOW IT’S THE IBSEN CYCLE, LOL

- I’m so glad he’s taking this whole month off and SO glad he’s steering clear of the Fringe ahaha, and I’m sorry, barring the press junket for Mary Queen of Scots, what the hell is he doing with his time for the next 12 months, god damn

- ahahaha i’m sad we were deprived of “Mr. Brightside” as an Irish jig. 

- “I also find now, the older I get — I’m saying this like I’m some old, jaded — I don’t even like to engage in conversations about the plays or the play. I just let people — especially people who ardently give you their clever opinion about what they liked and what they don’t like, and I just don’t care.” — James McArdle, I understand this impulse but also I think you might be a wee bit depressed

- “I’m not remotely interested, I want you to say I looked great, my costumes looked brilliant, and I was great.” ahaha. NO FALSE MODESTY HERE lol.

- “I’m grumpy, I feel grumpy!” salkjdfksalfd God he sounds like he needs such a long relaxing happy colorful vacation. I hope he gets it. <3 

(But also I’m really glad he’s talking about how he needs to keep momentum going and find more work soon because this is exactly the plot of the fic I’m writing right now, which is set right now, and it’s nice that I’m keeping it in-character ahaha, THANKS, JAMES MCARDLE, CONTINUE TO BE BEAUTIFULLY TRANSPARENT, BYE)

#james mcardle #when will james mcardle come home from the war #lol #long post #god this is so long and i love him so much

[highly-quinn]

life updates for anyone who gaf

I haven’t been on in a long time bc I finally escaped tumblr but since I’m procrastinating on studying here is what tf is up

I got a cat (pic to follow) her name is Velma like from Scooby Doo and she is the sweetest, cuddliest, and dog people love her bc she was raised by a dog and acts like one (runs up to u when u open the front door meowing and ready for pets, used to bark at shit I am not even kidding)

very recently tried purchasing cbd and found that I love it. started out smoking in high school because I was depressed, didn’t give a fuck and had the actual thought “why don’t I try smoking since I’m gonna kill myself anyways?” 7 years later and I’m a stoner who’s putting herself through law school. Developed TMJ and I’ve now been formally diagnosed with Depression and PTSD so I’ve really started using it medicinally now//as much as I love getting high I also gotta study and read a lottt so I mostly use it whenever pain in my neck/back flares up//which is why cbd is so great for me rn. I can study and still have that medicinal use. 10/10 would recommend buying and supporting ur local shop if they sell in your state, even if it’s pricey if you use it for your body it’s def worth it. Balances out with the thc nicely as well b/c it’s a body high.

debating if I should come out as a lesbian. Even though I am bisexual still and physically attracted to both men and women, people no matter their body parts, I think that I may have reached my breaking point with men. Without getting into too much detail I’ve had a really traumatic experience this time last year when I went to Europe with a friend and stayed with her friend. It’s been incredibly difficult for me trust anyone again, especially myself, when I’m already so distrusting as it is. haven’t been with or dated anyone this year but I’m a very solitary person and I don’t ever plan on getting married anyways so I never really cared about that kind of stuff, but it’s hard when all your friends and family are basically asking, “y el novio?” I’m far from being able to date again, which makes this next story so difficult: 

I found out that a guy is spreading rumors around the school that I “asked him out” and he “rejected me” like?????? I didn’t even remember what he was talking about until I thought wayyy far back to this summer when I found out we were both working in the downtown area a couple blocks from each other and was like, oh, we should grab lunch together some time. AS A FRIEND. PLATONIC. FRIENDLY FRIEND. what kind of friendless loser cannot distinguish when a woman wants a date and when we just want to grab lunch in a professional friendly fucking manner. I never even followed up with him and went off to study in oxford so like? pls explain how you “””rejected““” me???? Like can you blame me for being thissssss close to literally just coming out as gay to prove how absolute bullshit his story is

I’m moving to Madrid next year to finish out my last year since they have an exchange program! I would get a dual degree and be able to practice in both Spain and the US! I’m taking my bar in NY and hopefully will practice in NYC after graduation like I’ve always wanted 💕 I’m excited to gtfo of this state, and especially this apartment where I’ve had so many bad memories and had to deal with my episodes that have just gotten worse over the year. Hopefully I’m starting to move past all the shit that has been done to me, and I definitely believe that I’m in a better place, but PTSD is no fucking joke my dudes. I already had massive respect for veterans but now even more so now that I know what it’s like to have a war going on inside your own head. 

ok this was a nice little break in studying, hopefully only like 2 people read this lol since it’s just my babbling. sending lots of love out into the world to all my stoners, gays, latinos and women in this trying time and hope that you have lovely holidays with your families and friends 💕💖✨

#💕💖✨ #personal #literally just me procrastinating #delete later #probably

[baobej]

@dhalfmoonbydean tagged me and if our answers are similar it’s not my fault we’re both intellectuals ✨✨

RULES: answer these 85 statements about yourself, then tag 20 people

im tagging: @kosmicmoon @balmaineoark @7thxsense @8myblood

last

1. drink - beer

2. phone call - my mom

3. text message - my friend isabelle @bluemonade​

4. song you listened to - face by brockhampton

5. time you cried - last sunday

ever

6. dated someone twice? - no

7. kissed someone and regretted it - kinda? 

8. been cheated on - no

9. lost someone special - not really

10. been depressed - h i g h k e y

11. gotten drunk and thrown up - yes

fave colours

12. forest green

13. a warm yellow

14. blackest black

in the last year have you…

15. made new friends - yes, bless

16. fallen out of love - no

17. laughed until you cried - yes

18. found out someone was talking about you - i don’t think so?

19. met someone who changed you - nah

20. found out who your friends are - ya kinda but this is phrased so dramatically lol

21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list - no

general

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl - most of them

23. do you have any pets - i have a cat at my parents’ but i want one here in my apartment too :(

24. do you want to change your name - nah im good

25. what did you do for your last birthday - i went out for some beers and got my nose pierced with my best friend

26. what time did you wake up today - 8:20AM

27. what were you doing at midnight last night - playing card games at a bar with old friends

28. what is something you can’t wait for - leaving for finland on Tuesday, then nyc and then oslo!

30. what are you listening to right now - cereal by crush and zico

31. have you ever talked to a person named tom - ya this one dude in hs (we won a pair dancing “competition” together lmao)

32. something that gets on your nerves - people cracking their knuckles, people interrupting me or not listening to me, me fucking something up even though I know im good at it

33. most visited website - tumblr lol

34. hair colour - a pretty boring brown im planning on dyeing soon

35. long or short hair - i cut it into a bob last year and now it’s like a bit past shoulder length? but im going to cut it again soon

36. do you have a crush on someone - I’ve had like tiny crushes on strangers but i’ve never had bigger crushes than that

37. what do you like about yourself - my handwriting, style and taste in music (same thav, same), my cooking skills and my tattoos

38. want any piercings? - yes but my skin has decided it loves tattoos and h a t e s piercings so i had to remove my nose ring and i doubt i’ll get any more (but :( I desperately want a double helix and my nose ring back)

39. blood type - O-

40. nicknames - ju, juju, and tee (bc that’s what i used to call myself as a toddler so it stuck with my family lol)

41. relationship status - single and absolutely not mingling thank you v much

42. zodiac - libra sun and moon

43. pronouns - she/her

44. fave tv shows - i barely watch any these days but ig b99, stranger things, sense 8

45. tattoos - i have one of a hand holding a wand on the back of my forearm, the wand points towards my hand. my other tattoo is the phrase “do no harm but take no shit” in runes going around my upper arm. i want to get poppies in an aquarelle like style on my other upper arm, and a line art portrait of olympe de gouges on my ribs

46. right or left handed - right

47. ever had surgery - nope

48. piercings - one on each ear, and a minute of silence for my dearly departed nose ring

49. sport - the six flights of stairs i have to walk up to get to my apartment, and that’s plenty, ladies and gents

50. vacation - this summer? im going to Finland next week and working for a bit, then New York with my family for ten days, then Oslo for a week to go see hanne <333

51. trainers - as in sneakers? i have black converse, green and blue new balance, and orange adidas superstar

51. favourite pair of shoes - it’s gotta be my doc martens (the versatility! the style! amazing)

more general

52. eating - imma try to psych myself up to do the dishes and make some curry chicken

53. drinking - water

54. i’m about to watch - princess mononoke i think

55. waiting for - the Eiffel tower fireworks tonight

56. want - more money more time more clothes and a new phone :(

57. get married - eh probs not

58. career - it’s still early but i want to be an english teacher or like get a phd in linguistics lol

which is better

59. hugs or kisses - hm hugs 

60. lips or eyes - eyes

61. shorter or taller - taller

62. older or younger - older

63. nice arms or stomach - arms

64. hookup or relationship - relationship

65. troublemaker or hesitant - hesitant

have you ever

66. kissed a stranger - yes

67. drank hard liquor - yes

68. lost glasses - yes 

69. turned someone down - yes

70. sex on first date - no

71. broken someone’s heart - im not sure

72. had your heart broken - no

73. been arrested - no

74. cried when someone died - no one close to me has ever died so I don’t think so? 

75. fallen for a friend - no but i had a few scares

do you believe in

76. yourself - most of the time

77. miracles - in a religious sense? no

78. love at first sight - i mean it never happened to me but sure

79. santa claus - no

80. kiss on a first date - is that even something to “believe” in? i mean if everyone’s consenting who cares lol

81. angels - as in literal angels no but u best believe i call all my friends actual angels

other

82. best friend’s name - circé, hanne

83. eye colour - a greyish blue

84. fave movies -  howl’s moving castle, spirited away, silence of the lambs, arrival, i am not an easy man, dead poets society...

85. fave actor - martin freeman was the first actor who came to mind tbh idk why lol

#this was fun #I wanted to tag more ppl but I was feeling anxious lmao oops #tagged #about me

[dylanobrienisbatman]

100 Questions

it’s long so it’s under the cut, but man was this fun. thanks for the tag @the-most-beautiful-broom ♥ i’ll tag my loves (if you want to haha this is a lot) @raven-reyes-of-sunshine @perhalta @dracovengeance @hedaalicia and @amihanmayari

1. What is your nickname? Bails

2. How old are you? 24

3. What is your birth month? February

4. What is your zodiac sign? Aquarius!

5. What is your favorite color? green (Aw hey linds, same !!) 

6. What’s your lucky number? I was number 8 for marching band every single year (F8 for flute 8) except my junior year, and my junior year we had a shit show, so im calling that. 

7. Do you have any pets? 5 dogs back home in seattle but none where i live now or in NY when i get back

8. Where are you from? everywhere and nowhere. my dads military. but im american! 

9. How tall are you? 5’ 5″

10. What shoe size are you? 7

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? A whole lot, but they’re not always all with me. 

12. Are you random? not really. im pretty set in my routines and very comfortably a home body

13. Last person you texted? my best friend @broadwaybound2016

14. Are you psychic in any way? not even a little tbh

15. Last TV show watched? The Bold Type (WATCH IT ITS AMAZING)

16. Favorite movie? I’m not really sure but i just watched Love, Simon and im literally just crying because of it right now so im gonna go with that until further notice

17. Favorite show from your childhood? probably Lizze McGuire

18. Do you want children? Nope

19. Do you want a church wedding? I dont really want to get married

20. What is your religion? agnostic? maybe? im not religious, and not very spiritual. I love spirituality, things like crystals and stuff, but i try not to appropriate those things from groups/cultures who actually use them. I’d love to learn more about them and be someone who actually knew how to practice but, again, i dont want to step on toes culturally and take things that aren’t mine to take

21. Have you ever been to the hospital? a lot! a ton of surgeries on my ears

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? nope, im literally a goody two shoes

23. How is life? lovely

24. Baths or showers? showers!

25. What color socks are you wearing? i dont really wear socks? i like those little half socks. I’m not wearing any rn

26. Have you ever been famous? nope.

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? probably. i’d love to have a voice, and if it was for doing something i love, i cant think of anything better than getting to share my passion with the world like that. But it would definitely be a lot of pressure

28. What type of music do you like? i’m into literally anything. I love Hayley Kiyoko, the 1975, big fan of just basic pop like ariana grande and charlie puth, Harry Styles’s album is a masterpiece, Shawn Mendes, 5th Harmony. i love anything.

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? Yes!!

30. How many pillows do you sleep with? just two!

31. What position do you usually sleep in? on my stomach

32. How big is your house? my house at home is a 5 bedroom 3 bath, my apt in amsterdam rn is just a room in a hotel type place with my own bathroom, and my apt in nyc is a studio

33. What do you typically have for breakfast? i literally hardly ever eat breakfast, but i love a bagel

34. Have you ever left the country? I’m in europe RIGHT NOW! lol

35. Have you ever tried archery? once, i was terrible

36. Do you like anyone? Not right now, but i might want too

37. Favorite swear word? i love the word fuck. it’s got so much you can do with it. i swear like a sailor.

38. When do you fall asleep? ummmmmm? whenever i guess lol 

39. Do you have any scars? A few small ones. a decent one on my knee from falling off my bike when i was 8

40. Sexual orientation? Bisexual

41. Are you a good liar? excellent

42. What languages would you like to learn? ALLLL the languages. I’d love to learn native hawai’ian. i spent my high school years there and the culture is so incredible, and i was so welcomed into it by my friends who were from there, i’d love a chance to really connect too it and try to learn that. 

43. Top 10 songs? Oh boy... im just gonna bullet these because i cant decide the order but this is the general

the way i am - charlie puth

young god - halsey 

rather be - clean bandit

feelings - hayley kiyoko

woman - harry styles 

make me feel - janelle monáe 

six inch heels - beyonce 

get right witcha - migos

my my my - troye sivan 

nice for what - drake 

44. Do you like your country? i’m torn at the moment. I hate tr*mp and everything him and his stand for, but i think america can be a wonderful place. 

45. Do you have friends from the web? Yes!! <3

46. What is your personality type? MBTI: INTP 

47. Hogwarts House? Ravenclaw

48. Can you curl your tongue? yes!

49. Pick one fictional character you can relate to? I am Hermione and Hermione is me. (also i really relate a lot to Lexa from the 100, which... is interesting. the way she suppresses feelings, her generally logical approach to things, the way she is totally useless around pretty girls.) 

50. Left or right handed? right!

51. Are you scared of spiders? If they’re like, big spiders yes. or if they come out of nowhere. im way more scared of cockroaches tho.

52. Favorite food? For some reason this question has been really hard for me lately? idk. i love a good indian style curry, and tacos? 

53. Favorite foreign food? Indian!

54. Are you a clean or messy person? I’m CLEAN, but im messy. i feel like cleanliness and orderliness have been misconstrued to mean the same thing, but clean is to dirty as orderly is to messy. I’m clean and messy, i am not very orderly, and i am NOT dirty. 

55. If you could switch your gender for a day, what would you do? Experience a walk down the street in a city at night where im not afraid

56. What color underwear? black

57. How long does it take for you to get ready? not too long, but it sometimes takes me a long ass time to pick an outfit 

58. Do you have much of an ego? It’s as big as it should be. 

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? i suck on them until i can bite them

60. Do you talk to yourself? Constantly.

61. Do you sing to yourself? Hell yeah

62. Are you a good singer? i’m decent but i need another voice to match with. on my own i can’t carry a tune. 

63. Biggest Fears? failure. and heights. 

64. Are you a gossip? I can be, but never about like.. bad things. I like to talk about how this friend or that friend did x y z cool thing but im not like “omg did you hear so and so hooked up with so and so” 

65. Are you a grammar nazi? Not really because i can’t spell for shit

66. Do you have long or short hair? Short-ish? i cut my hair in march of LAST YEAR and then trimmed it again this year and i want it to fucking grow

67. Can you name all 50 states of America? i would definitely forget some

68. Favorite school subject? History

69. Extrovert or Introvert? Pretty introverted. 

70. Have you ever been scuba diving? Nah, im not allowed too for medical reasons

71. What makes you nervous? when I see kids wandering and their parents not noticing (okay im keeping that because me too, but also travelling? like the in-transit part of travel, catching busses/trains/planes makes me panic)

72. Are you scared of the dark? not at all

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? i try not too unless its major. usually its unintentional or the mistake is irrelevant to the flow of the conversation/situation  

74. Are you ticklish? Yes, but i hate being tickled unless its like, my sister or my dad

75. Have you ever started a rumor? No

76. Have you ever been out of your home country? Yes i have lol (linds, ily, we DEFINITELY have been over this already)

77. Have you ever drank underage? a little, but not until i was like 19, and then i was in europe for 6 months, so i didnt REALLY drink underage until i was like... less than 6 months to 21

78. Have you ever done drugs? Pot pretty regularly here in Amsterdam, and i’ve done shrooms

79. What do you fantasize about? getting a beautiful loft in a big city (preferrably london or NYC), with a kick ass job, a dog, and maybe a girlfriend with huge curly hair.

80. How many piercings do you have? Four

81. Can you roll your R’s? Yep!

82. How fast can you type? I just took a little online quiz that said i can type 72 words per minute with 93% accuracy? 

83. How fast can you run? lol I don’t run (same linds... same)

84. What color is your hair? brown!

85. What color are your eyes? Green!

86. What are you allergic to? I’m a bit lactose intolerant and pineapple makes my tongue itch?

87. Do you keep a journal? no, but i wish i did sometimes 

88. Are you depressed about anything? I’m not depressed “about anything”, im just generally someone who experiences a pretty mild case of depression.

89. Do you like your age? Yeah, i dig it.

90. What makes you angry? bigotry, ignorance, and spilling things. I spill drinks constantly, i spilled a WHOLE BOWL OF CEREAL ON MY FLOOR THE OTHER NIGHT.  

91. Do you like your own name? I didn’t used too but i really do now

92. Did you ever get a foreign object up your nose? not that i know of

93. Do you want a boy or a girl for a child? I don’t want kids. 

94. What talents do you have? i have a pretty great memory, but for random things i dont need 

95. Sun or moon? Moon <3

96. How did you get your name? My dad, he just liked it. My middle name was also my dad, he heard the name Jess on the movie A Man From Snowy River and he thought it was a nice like, nickname/pet name, so he gave me the middle name Ges (pronounced like Jess) with the intent of calling me that (it didnt stick), but he didn’t want anyone to think my middle name was Jessica, so he spelled it Ges.

97. Are you religious? I am not, but i have a lot of respect for the concept of religion, as long as its used for the real purpose, which is to make people feel peace and help people find love and comfort. 

98. Have you ever been to a therapist? I have not, but i shold

99. Color of your bedspread? White

100. Color of your room? White, with one black wall 

#about me #this was so fun thanks linds #tag game