#lossoffaith
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Hero Killer Stain (BMHA)- Oneshot
Never in your career did you think this is how it would end. Being a hero was something you’d always dreamed of. Becoming one of the bests was your goal. So when you finally made it to a point where you were at least recognized, it felt amazing. You weren’t like All Might, but it felt like that wasn’t too far away.
Yet all that work and honor had led you to this point, bleeding out on the floor.
“W-Why..” You were crying, barely able to get a breath out.
Your colleague just grinned.
“I can’t have you outing me. I’m planning to be up there with the greats. Do you know how rich I would be if I was as famous as All Might. “
He twisted the sword in your back, and you cried out, clenching your fist into the dirt. You couldn’t even activate your quirk. Your body was beaten. Way past the point of you even moving.
There were rumors of a hero who had joined with villains. You thought it was no more than talk. But you came to realize that your friend was working with one of the worst villains out there to boost his popularity. You’d barely had a chance to even react, because you were struck down from both sides. Said villain had already made his escape. Asa stayed behind to ensure that you weren’t found. No one would save you, and ultimately you knew he would just direct it to his partner. Assisting in his plans to become a well known hero. At that moment it made you ponder just how many people possibly suffered because of a hero who was meant to protect the innocent.
“Why don’t you try using that little wind trick?” He snickered.
His foot moved to your spine, and when he applied pressure, you could feel yourself slipping in and out of consciousness from the pain. You coughed up a mouthful of blood, and when he finally removed the blade from your body. You just prayed he would end it quickly.
“Do you really think heroes are the good guys? I used to think you were joking about the whole honorable hero speech, but looking at you now, it’s clear you’re just naive. “
Your tears mixed in with the blood on the dirt, and you closed your eyes.
“Maybe..I was naive..”
You hated that your last thought was this revelation. You’d wasted your life on a foolish ideal that was now responsible for your death.
“Fake heroes.”
The cold tone from above makes your eyes shoot open. Asa flinched.
“H-Hero Killer!”
You caught the sight of his bandages in your peripheral, followed by a scream from Asa. Stain landed right in front of your body, his sword in hand. Blood dripped from the tip of the metal. The second his tongue swiped across, Asa panics. He doesn’t even get a chance to manipulate the metal, because his body is paralyzed. Asa’s eyes are shaking, and so are yours.
Stain approaches him. Each step feels louder than the last.
It’s when his blade pierces Asa’s flesh, that you try to hold back any more sobs. Asa’s body hits the floor. You can’t determine whether he’s alive or dead. All you know is, you’re next. You fully prepare for it. What you don’t anticipate is your body being lifted from the ground. You can barely move your limbs.So when you look up, you expect the look of a Killer. He’s probably about to dispose of your body.
However, the ruby gaze that meets your own displays what can only be described as sympathy. There’s nothing remotely menacing in his eyes. You almost wonder if you’ve already bled out. So your body is playing tricks. Stain takes off, up onto a building.
Carrying you.
The journey isn’t long. You aren’t exactly sure where he’s taking you. But the next time he lands, you finally let go. Because it has taken every bit of your strength to stay awake. Just like that, you give into the darkness.
Drifting off, hoping for a different outcome.
~
“Room 112.”
Aizawa’s eyes run over the number. When he’d heard the news he prayed it wasn’t real. You were one of his past students. Honorable, driven, always going the extra mile. Most of the people that passed through the walls of the academy were after fame, recognition, wealth. But you were different. He remembered the day he saw you. The minute his eyes connected with yours, that memory seems to rush back. He’d saved you once. You were wearing the exact expression you did that day. One of awe and determination. He knew then what an incredible hero you would be. Seeing your body battered on the sheets of the hospital bed was heartbreaking.
“You seem to be doing much better. “
Aizawa walked into the room. The many balloons and flowers are what caught his attention.
“You’ve got a lot of admirers.”
You said nothing, and when you turned your head in the opposite direction, he knew why. Letting out a soft sigh, he stood by your bed.
“Not all heroes are that twisted. “
His eyes surveyed the many bandages on your body. When they found you, it’s clear that you were near to the point of death. You hadn’t spoken since you were discovered, and Asa had long been arrested. He survived Stain's attack.
Not something many people could say.
He was currently being tried for his crimes as they tracked his accomplice. But Aizawa knew that this situation had broken you. Asa was someone you trained in the academy with for years. You were both very close. He couldn’t imagine what he would have done had he been in your position. If you couldn’t trust your colleagues, your friends, then what right did they really have to deem others good or bad.
The person they said to be your enemy was the only reason you were still breathing.
Reality truly was cruel.
~Two Months Later~
“One more.”
Jumping you opened your palms, the force of the wind releasing from your hands pushing you into the air. Your body gilded right to the top of your building, and you released a sigh. Wiping the sweat off your forehead, you turned, looking out at the city. The darkness brought a bit of comfort. Maybe it’s because you’d had so much time to think. You’d like nothing more than to jump into the sky and fly off to the moon.
Away from hurt.
Aizawa lectured you to take it easy. To allow your body to heal. But the second you could move your body you started training. Staying in that bed just kept giving you flashes of those unpleasant memories.
Betrayal.
It took a month for your body to fully heal. Since then you haven't been back to the administration. Aizawa didn’t even look surprised when you sent in your resignation letter. A few even tried to convince you to stay. It was understandable. Each and every hero that worked knew there were days much like your own. It would have been easy to say the trauma of the injury scared you. But that wasn’t it. You just couldn’t trust the academy anymore.
A part of you finally sees why Stain chooses to hurt corrupted heroes. Although you can never side with killing someone, you understood.
“You survived.”
You flinch, spinning around. Those eyes..
Stain is hunched at the side, and you almost hold your breath. He drew his blade, and you can feel your heart racing.
“Are you scared?” It sounds like a taunt. When he straightens, he expects the fear he’s used to. But the second your eyes connect, all he can see is tears. He paused. They were rushing down your cheeks and when you bowed, he was convinced he’s misread the situation.
“THANK YOU FOR SAVING MY LIFE!!”
It’s a yell, far from what he expects. Your tears are now hitting the ground right at your feet, and your shoulders shake with each sob you let out.
“T-Thank..you..”
Between the cries, he can hear the gratitude in your voice.
He sighs, sheathing his blade. He’d been ready for anything, but not this. Had you decided to fight him, he would have retaliated. But now it feels cowardly to fight.
“I did it out of pity. You looked pathetic.” You straighten, and you seem unphased by the insult.
Wiping your eyes, you actually smile at him this time.
Stain narrows his eyes.
“Surely she knows I’m the enemy.”
Stain brushes it off.
“Heroes are still my enemy. Nothing has changed.”
“Alright.” You were still wearing a smile. It was disarming.
“Beat it before I change my mind.” He turned his back, not even looking at you.
“I can’t.”
That stopped Stain.
“Did she call for reinforcements?”
“He should know better than to let his guard down. When he looks back he expects maybe a calvary. But you’re still wearing that stupid smile.
“I have to repay you. Please name anything.”
“What the..”
“ARE YOU AN IDIOT!!”
You shook your head.
“Nope. My IQ is actually 110. I scored pretty well on my hero’s test at the academy.” You let out a laugh and his eyes twitched.
“This woman..”
Stain disappeared, the next time he appeared, he was directly in front of you. His intention was to scare you into running off, but before he could even fire an attack, his body was hit by the force of wind. The air was knocked right out of him, and he gasped when his body hit the floor. You hadn’t moved a muscle.
“I’m going to repay my debt to you.” There was no negotiation, you were the one walking away this time.
“See you around!” You said it in a chirpy voice, and he groaned.
“What the hell did I get myself into.”
He should have known better. Heroes were always a nuisance.
~
The weeks after the incident Stain knew he needed to keep his guard up. Although Asa was taken for his crime, some of his previous allies refused to believe that he’d betrayed the academy. In their foolish denial, they had come after him.
He’d long adapted to attacks. But he’d been greatly outnumbered. Because rookie heroes weren’t the only ones tracking him. But experienced ones. Aizawa stood with his bandages hanging low. Eyes glinting that dangerous red. Stain smirked, coughing up another mouthful of blood. He’d taken quite a beating from the dozen of heroes that stood before him.
“Guess this is the end of the road.”
He wasn’t naive enough to believe his actions would go unpunished. But at least he knew what he did kept the truly bad people out of the picture. There was no evading this one. He was exhausted. If Aizawa were to use his quirk on him, then it was over. Stain knew Aizawa believed in the system, he would be tried. But even with a lenient sentence, execution was the only possible choice. No one would go against that vote.
Stain gripped his sword. Planting his foot, he intended to push forward, but the sudden cracks in the earth stopped them cold. Stain paused. Abdomen soaked with blood. His intention was to fight to the death. When the wind began to pick up, the three men around him started yelling.
A bolt of lightning struck the ground right before him, and all it took was a blink.
There you stood.
Eyes fierce, hands clenched. Aizawa lifted his head.
“(Y/N)....”
He could barely believe it.
“If any of you touch Stain.. I’ll kill you myself.”
Your words held a weight. As Aizawa studied the specks of lightning around your body, he felt like he’d failed. None of them truly believed it when they saw the famous Hero Killer drop your body at the entrance of a hospital that day. Many speculated that he’d sent a message. But when you explained the extent of what happened, Aizawa knew. At that moment he knew that he’d lost you. You were loyal to a fault. Right now it’s obvious you were repaying a debt. But it’s possible that you were also making a declaration.
You would no longer fight for heroes.
Your eyes landed on Aizawa. For a brief second when the wind drew together around your body, he was able to catch just a glimpse of your face in all the lightning and debris. He’d only manage to see you mouth a few words as you sent him a sadden smile.
Another crash of lightning, and you were gone.
So was Stain.
“Eraser head, we need to go after them!!”
He shook his head.
“Don’t bother.”
It’s clear to him that chasing was futile. Stain was a trained fighter, so were you. This may have been the last time he’d see you. And the next encounter with Stain would be like most of their fights. Through all of this, Aizawa chooses to hold onto your last words to him. There was no guarantee that he’d ever hear of seeing you again.
“Thank you for always being there..Aizawa.”
He clenched his fist.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t save you (Y/N).”
#my hero academia#hero killer stain#heroes#villains#trust#betrayal#fights#power#aizawa sensei#truth#save#protective#lossoffaith#hero/villain#stainxreader#lightning#powerful#friends#academy#feelings#respect
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No More Hiding
I have been in hiding for awhile as I have dealt with some hurtful truths that I knew were lurking under the surface, I just didn’t know what to call them. Over the past ten years, maybe even longer, my life has been in turmoil. I have lost family members in tragic and unexpected ways, lost my faith in a church that has always felt foreign to me, and learned that the childhood that I experienced and thought was "normal" was far from it. I'm going to explore these truths in the coming posts, but I wanted to check in and put myself out there because I feel like my journey can be of benefit to you out there in this weird tech universe. I hope my story finds you if you need it and I promise going forward to not cling to a facade that has broken my heart more times than I can admit. I want to be vulnerable and be real with you. And, I will be.
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A long time ago, I was someone else.
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New books on Amazon.com, "Why Does God Hate Me". #womenoffaith #womenoffaithtour #womenoffaithandprayer #christianwomen #christianwomeninbusiness #christianmen #christianmentalhealth #christianproblems #christianmarriages #christiandivorce #lossoffaith #godisreal #jesussaves https://www.instagram.com/p/Bznssp_A0MX/?igshid=1eenrd3bj1ei6
#womenoffaith#womenoffaithtour#womenoffaithandprayer#christianwomen#christianwomeninbusiness#christianmen#christianmentalhealth#christianproblems#christianmarriages#christiandivorce#lossoffaith#godisreal#jesussaves
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There is a Negation, & there is a Contrary: The Negation must be dstroyed to redeem the Contraries. William Blake from Milton ******** ******* ****** ***** **** *** #williamblake #selfhood #self #negation #negativespace #shadow #ego #contrary #redemption #lossoffaith #eternal #poet #poem #art #prophecy #opposite #dark #vehemenceandemergence
#lossoffaith#selfhood#negation#negativespace#shadow#contrary#opposite#eternal#self#poem#dark#williamblake#ego#poet#redemption#prophecy#vehemenceandemergence#art
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I believe in God
I’m having trouble with Islam though...
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Alone, And That's All
I've never felt so free or alone I thought I could fight this How could I deny Him? I chose a Heavenly Father Over one I barely know I'm pretty sure I only loved Because you told me to And I know I only chose to forgive Because I was scared of you I used to be fearless I thought I would find strength in independence I only found a soul in solitude I left behind a suffocating doubt But the air here stings my lungs And turns to ashes in my mouth If life under God Crushes my weakened soul But disbelief has me scared and alone Where does that leave me?
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I wonder how many other christians could be as intellectually honest in such an endeavor.
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🌑 For awhile now I have been full of doubt far beyond "the dark night of the soul." (I say "full," but it feels more like emptiness than fullness.) I don't talk about it much because I don't want to upset people. I also don't talk much about Caety to people who don't already know I have a daughter who died. It's hard to tell new people in my life. So my co-worker Alicia, whom I've worked with since last April, knew nothing of Caety nor my loss of faith. She also didn't know that I have been wondering about the synchronicity of "signs from heaven" - butterflies, rainbows, cardinals, etc. - that suddenly appear and give great comfort to other grieving mothers. I am skeptical but somewhat open, and envious of the comfort they feel. . So when I opened this Christmas gift (pictured) from Alicia, I cried. I couldn't help myself, I started crying right there in the baby room at work. Seeing Alicia's wide concerned eyes, I quickly poured out words about Caety and cardinals and God and grief . . . and gratitude to her for this remarkable gift. "And you didn't even know about any of that!" I said. She smiled and said in her strong Costa Rican accent, "No, but God did." 🌈 . #Caety #synchronicity #grief #grieving #grievingmother #childloss #lossofachild #livingwithloss #copingwithloss #faith #hope #love #lossoffaith #losingfaith #God #peacewithgod #spirituality #signsfromheaven #signsfromabove #signsfromtheuniverse #signsfromgod #signsfromspirit #cardinal #motherhood #cysticfibrosis #cureCF #cysticfibrosisawareness #sometimesjoy
#grievingmother#god#childloss#curecf#sometimesjoy#love#signsfromtheuniverse#copingwithloss#lossofachild#livingwithloss#cysticfibrosis#signsfromgod#synchronicity#spirituality#cardinal#hope#signsfromabove#losingfaith#signsfromspirit#lossoffaith#grief#caety#faith#signsfromheaven#peacewithgod#motherhood#grieving#cysticfibrosisawareness
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...an atmosphere thickened by hundreds of blended voices -how many? As the hymn swayed around me like wheat in a wind I found myself counting the house. Fourteen rows, about a dozen folks on each side of the aisle: nearly three hundred people, all singing beautifully. I wondered what it must sound like out in the empty green fields under the cloudless blue sky, how heartrendingly small even such a crowd of voices must sound rising up into the infinite indifference of outer space. I felt lonely for us all, and abruptly I knew there was no God.
I didn't think often about that which people called God, but for some time now I'd certainly hated it, this killer, this perpetrator, in whose blank silver eyes nobody was too insignificant, too unremarkable, too innocent and small to be overlooked in the parceling out of tragedy. I'd felt this all-powerful thing as a darkness and weight. Now it had vanished. A tight winding of chains had burst. Someone had unstuck my eyes. A huge ringing in my head had stopped. This is what the grand and lovely multitude of singers did to me.
I'm one of those who believes he can carry a tune, and so I sang, too, and nobody stopped me. Until just past six, for exactly an hour by my watch, we praised the empty universe. I felt our hearts going up and up into an endless interval with nothing to get in the way. All my happy liberated soul came out my throat."
"All of this while I felt lifted by a strange new medium, a strange element- I now tell you that I was newly buoyant in a brighter life. In the midst of a hymn, God had disappeared. It was like waking from a nightmare in which I'd been paralyzed. Like discovering that gravity itself had been only a bad dream"
-Denis Johnson, Name of the World
A broken man who's lost his daughter and wife at once, 4 years before in a horrible car crash. This is a description of his beautiful, freeing experience of a transcendent loss of faith. Now he is able to love again, and his feelings of persecution and the unfairness of the creator have been instantly shed, so miraculous and pristine is his complete awareness of the comforting knowledge of the void of all existence. I would love to have lost my faith in such poetic fashion.
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top 10 blogs?
ah shit ummm
l0uderthanb0mbs
portamental
junk-0f-theheart
lmprobable
lossoffaith
lanadelgammarey
ancienne
carving
starmanwaitinginthesky
resxlution
go follow them cause they are pretty damn good blogs
#l0uderthanb0mbs#portamental#junk-0f-theheart#lmprobable#lossoffaith#lanadelgammarey#ancienne#carving#starmanwaitinginthesky#resxlution
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Why world??? Why??? #googlesearch #fail #honeybooboo #death #lossoffaith #stupidhumainty
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Just not right anymor
I think in life people in general have lost the genuine need for friendship and healthy relationships and replaced them with money, gambling, drugs and alcohol. We loose the ones who care and forget what really matters. God will not bring us into heaven on the partys we've attended and the money we've earned god accepts is for faith and how we use it to touch each others lives. What the world was 20 to 10 years ago has changed to a more secular world. A world where christianity is threatened and from their life as we know it
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When did humanity become a giant flock of sheep?
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Dear followers/internet,
If you read anything I post this week, click the link above and read this article. It's easily the best article I've read in the past two weeks.
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"I’m 31, an Iraq war veteran, a Penn State graduate, a Catholic, a native of State College, acquaintance of Jerry Sandusky’s, and a product of his Second Mile foundation.
And I have fully lost faith in the leadership of my parents’ generation. ..."
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