#look I have no excuse

[undreaming-fanfiction]

Okay, so vampire Eddie is a pretty standard trope at this point, but may I offer...Twilight vampire Eddie who is absolutely pissed off about his sparkly existence?

Eddie actually isn't that old, he was turned in the 80s when he was around 20. He lives with his small and not only vampire family. There's patriarch Wayne, his partner Scott who always becomes a teacher no matter where they move, Claudia Henderson and her son that have been with them ever since Scott noticed Dustin being unusually quiet in his class and soon after, Wayne kicked out his abusive father.

The problem with living with a smart man who loves educating people and a man who never received the education he deserved is - they take school really, really seriously. Whenever they move, Eddie usually has to re-join high school, it's all "just so that you have some socialization! Also we need to be able to blend in, so look around and see what's normal with young people! Also I'm pretty sure some of the stuff we know is now obsolete or disproven, so make sure to tell us!". And Eddie loves Wayne and Scott, he really does, but he had trouble blending in even when he was alive, so now? Impossible. As for gathering information, Eddie has been trying for decades to explain to Wayne that even if becoming a vampire healed the wounds from the lynching mob, it didn't do shit for his ADHD, so there. Wayne finds Eddie banging his head into a desk one day and chanting "WHAT-THE-FUCK-IS-TIK-TOK?!"

So yes, Eddie hates being a forever highschooler, but it also means he can run DnD clubs everywhere he joins and he's not even lynched for it like in the 80s, so hey, progress! He gets mostly content with his existence, except that he's fucking sparkly and can't turn into a bat, so what's the point?!

But then a huge group of people moves from the close town of Hawkins, they had a really fucked up earthquake - Wayne told him all about it, he often volunteered in rescue and high risk works, and he's never seen anything like it - and their little town becomes way more crowded. There are high school freshmen just begging to be introduced to his club, Hellfire, although one of them is scary observant and Eddie is really sure that Jane knows he's a vampire.

And then there's Steve Harrington. A young man with the prettiest hair ever who joined Eddie's class, apparently he needs to repeat the last year too because if your school burns down, you can't take final exams. He's stupidly pretty, snarky, bitchy, and even though he could be partying day and night and spending the rest of his time on dates, he prefers to hang around with the freshmen. Lucas tells him one day that Steve got badly hurt when he was digging through the collapsed middle school, finding and rescuing their whole group, and well...Eddie respects that. Dustin absolutely loves Steve and maybe Eddie feels a bit jealous, but he has to admit - the guy is cool.

The problem with Steve Harrington is this - he's seen so much shit that nothing really fazes him. Eddie loves shocking people. Steve is unshockable. It becomes their little game, they get close, Eddie realizes he has an embarrassing crush, all that jazz. He tries dropping hints, he slurps his bloody lunch from a bottle that has a "THIS IS DEFINITELY TOMATO JUICE AND NOTHING ELSE". He wears a cape. He adopts a horrible Dracula accent. Nothing works. Steve always just laughs and tells him that he's weird and that's why he likes him.

Finally, Eddie has enough. They walk in the woods to get high, Eddie decides to break the ice, he scoops up Steve, does his whole dashing-through-the-woods thing, and he hopes that he can finally share his secret with Steve.

Except Steve just pats his back and says "Wow, that was cool, man! You'd be amazing at track. Great core strength too," and Eddie's head implodes.

"Okay, Steve. Don't you think there's something rotten here?" he tries.

"I mean, it's the woods. Of course there's something rotting all the time."

Eddie tries again. "You've noticed something strange, haven't you. I'm inhumanly fast and strong."

"I sure didn't expect that! You must be secretly training. I didn't know this town had a gym."

Again. "My skin is pale white and ice cold."

Steve is watching a nearby squirrel instead of looking horrified. "Yeah, not all people tan great, Robin is like that too. And I told you, man. Your circulation is shit, you need better socks and some gloves too."

"My eyes change color."

"Yeah, I know, I do envy you that you can wear those cool contact lenses. My eyes are too dry for that."

Eddie is growing desperate, he's gesturing at the trees because Steve doesn't listen. "I speak like I'm from a different time."

"80s slashers will do that to you. You basically live on those. But I gotta admit that they're pretty fun. Oh look, she's got an acorn! Clever girl!"

"Very clever. Also I never eat or drink anything."

"Hey, I'm not judging. Some people prefer one or two meals in a day instead of the whole five meal thing."

Eddie feels like howling and he isn't even a werewolf. "I. DON'T. GO. INTO. THE. SUNLIGHT."

Steve's eyes finally leave the squirrel. "Duh. We've already established you can't tan."

And Eddie's had enough. He tears off his t-shirt, marches directly into the sunlight and throws the biggest tantrum of his life. "STEVEN HARRINGTON. PAY ATTENTION. I am 20. I have been 20 for a while now. You know what I am, right? I am a vampire. So ask me the question, what do we eat? That wasn't a fucking tomato juice Steven!!!"

Steve just watches him with quiet amusement, as if he's waiting for something.

Eddie doesn't notice. His monologue is reaching its most dramatic part. "I've killed people before! I'm the world's most dangerous predator!"

Steve snorts. "I saw you trip over your own feet in the cafeteria."

"Not the point!"

"You told a waitress "you too" when she told you to enjoy your meal."

Eddie actually howls now. "THE POINT IS." He spins in the sunlight and sees the reflections of light off his skin. "I wouldn't have minded becoming a vampire, but let me tell you. Being stuck in high school forever? Sucks. Craving chips and throwing them up whenever you try them? SUCKS. And thinking you've become the legendary creature of the night when you're a glorified glitter mascot?! And you can't even fly?! DOUBLE SUCKS."

He points at his bare glittering chest. "THIS THE SKIN OF A FUCKING DISCO BALL, STEVE!"

Steve just laughs and gets up from the tree stump he was sitting on. "Thanks for sharing. I was kinda hoping you'd finally ask me out since this is the first time we've had some privacy, but this was interesting too."

Eddie's sharing mania suddenly stops. He realizes he's shirtless in the middle of the forest, and his yelling has scared off the squirrel. He promptly grabs his shirt and puts in on. "Um. You...you wanted me to ask you out? Because I totally want to do that. Yep. But I thought it would have been unfair to ask you before I told you-"

"That you're a vampire? Dude, I know."

Eddie blinks once. Then again. "Excusemewhat?"

Steve smiles at him and touches his hand. "Look. After what happened in Hawkins, I know the smell of blood. I knew it wasn't tomato juice. Also I've accompanied the kids to enough monster flicks to know."

"Oh." Eddie licks his lips and doesn't really know what to say. "Um. What...does that mean for us?"

Laughing, Steve grabs his other hand too. "Definitely two things. One - you can and should kiss me. Two - you can stop wearing that cape. I got your point."

"Oh okay. Cool. Will do. Both."

And since Eddie Munson is a vampire of his word, he does.

(Wayne is absolutely delighted that Eddie is dating, he watches sports with Steve and discusses the pros and cons of Steve becoming a paramedic. Scott helps Steve with some of the subjects he's struggling with. In return, Steve works with Robin to find a makeup brand that is fully sparkleproof, giving the vampires a chance to walk in the sunlight again. And sometimes, he helps them answer the questions that have been plaguing the Munson-Clarke-Henderson household for years...such as: what is TikTok?)

(oh and also. Turns out Steve really thought Eddie was wearing creepy contact lenses. That one aspect of vampyrism he found very cool)

#eddie munson #steve harrington #stranger things #steddie #steddie drabble #steddie au #twilight au #look I have no excuse #vampire eddie munson #discoball eddie munson

[silkbox]

I’ve been had. 😂

#look i have no excuse #this isnt a well kept secret

[theangrypomeranian]

when the oneshot becomes a lot longer than you anticipated

#sally speaks #writing stuff #bb fic #look i have no excuse #i just have absolutely no self control lol #this this is 6k words and 15 pages #and it's still. not. done. #save me lmao

[pokeberry5]

boy hostage (spiritual successor to this)

big brother to the rescue:

#back at it again at krispy kreme #sart #tim drake #dick grayson #dc #dick & tim #some of my favorite things about canon are a) dick being (ferally) protective of tim #and b) that gotham villains refer to robin and nightwing as brothers #idk i love drawing tim a little bloody #he's ok!!! dick got to him on time im realizing he kinda looks dead #oh OTHER favorite thing is those panels of vigilantes where all u can make out of their features are their glowing eyes #(my excuse for not drawing tim's belt is that if he had it he'd've escaped so they must have gotten it off him)

[batbabydamian]

reverse robins of my fav trio!

#stephanie brown #damian wayne #dick grayson #fav trio i say as i draw them not even interacting sdfgh #this was also an excuse to use Dan Mora's Steph Future State hair/scar design as inspo again xD and using Mora's Robin shoes from WF! #Dick was resolute about his Robin uniform so Damian compromised by having him wear elbow/knee pads LOL #tried doing laceup thigh highs for Damian’s batsuit but it looked off 😭 also considered using the Red Hood suit from B&R09 but too silly... #tbh i rarely have interest in reverse robins AUs unless Damian's featured and tries to be a good big bro 😭 #batbabyart

[egophiliac]

I've had a beast of a cold for the last few days, but I wanted to get this out before the new year! while I've sort of made my peace with my first take on Lilia's UM poster, I really wanted to do a version with the new context that chapter 6 gave us. because. c'mon.

(don't worry, Lilia can carry ALL HIS KIDS AT ONCE)

#art #twisted wonderland #unique magic posters #twisted wonderland spoilers #twisted wonderland episode 7 part 6 spoilers #twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers #twisted wonderland book 7 part 6 spoilers #the dragon cradle does make me laugh #no look i understand it's a ~visual metaphor~ for malleus' isolation #(and also lets lilia run up a bunch of steps all dramatically later) #but the image of this enormous ten-story cradle with the teeny tiny little egg in the middle of it is pretty hilarious #the draconias are SO extra about everything #now if you'll excuse me i have to go fall over for what remains of the year #happy 2024! #(i apologize to the poor person who asked a cute question about meleanor and got a giant cold medicine-induced essay in response :') #(i have been incapable of coherent thought for...a while now)

[odeu-m]

quick sketch of these 2 from @celestialalpacaron's delightful overlord au

wip but i dont trust myself to finish stuff and i like the sketch well enough so <3

#hazbin hotel #huskerdust #angel dust #husker #husk #also a study of leyendeckers feb 1908 success magazine cover lol #i love leyendecker sm i could eat that shit up anyday #ive not drawn a cat man b4 you'll have to excuse it if it looks a bit. funky. #husk's arm is SO off lmaoooo #actually. all of husk is off pls dont look at him just focus on angel he's looking very pretty tonite #.ctf

[soosoosoup]

snowzone

#dreamworks trolls #trolls #trolls john dory #trolls bruce #trolls clay #trolls floyd #trolls branch #brozone #kinda missing the snow #while I'm glad it's not so cold anymore; I am not looking forward to how hot it gets #their sleds are walnut shells!! would a walnut shell make a good sled? probably not but it's cute so... walnut sled! #wanted to give bitty b one of those baby cow earmuffs and it spiraled to this lol #also saw some panels of dungeon meshi where young elves where these hats. truly inspired #haven't read/watched it yet but i can tell i would totally love it #I'm thinking of maybe making this my banner? it's like accidentally the correct size #trolls fanart #excuse the messiness #my art <3 #trolls band together #i have another snowzone drawing but im not really vibing with it. #thinking of maybe posting those discarded sketches under like... a scrapyard tag #there's only like 2 sketches so far lol #sorry I haven’t posted some broppy in a bit #been having some trouble with it coming out a little stiff. so I’m thinking that some good old brozone can refresh my system lol

[asturlavi]

the dungeons of fear and hunger

#fear and hunger #cahara #ragnvaldr #le'garde #d'arce #enki #bls don't look at the mistakes i'll render it when i have more time #also lmk if there's an interest in funger prints bc i have a con coming up and will use any and all excuse to give people funger merch.....

[nkogneatho]

gosh virgin!nanami would be a mess for real. he is trying to look away because he thinks it's rude to stare at your sexy naked body, but at the same time he wants to glue his eyes to them.

"ken...'s okay. you can look." it still takes him five seconds to tilt his face back to you. and when he actually does, he holds his breath. because, fuck. he needs a moment to admire you and your beauty. he needs to stop giving his attention to unnecessary things like breathing when you're standing in front of him, all hot and bare. you rub your thighs together in nervousness. you couldn't tell his thoughts from his plain face, but you can see a hint of peaches on his cheeks. before you could ask if something's wrong, nanami led out his hand and brushed the tip of his fingers against your pussy lips. you yelp in shock, feeling the foreign cold temperature on your sensitive core.

"i'm sorry. it's just...you're so wet. i felt the urge to touch it." another sound leaves your lips as his thick rough fingers rub against you, wetting them.

"mhmm. 'cause of you, ken. all for—ngh...you" you moan. "gonna be more wet if you put your fingers in." he pulls you closer by your thighs, one hand still between your legs. he is a hesitant at first, not because he hates you, but he is anticipated about how it will feel. he inserts his middle finger slowly in, the hole is wet and slimy but the texture switches when he is finger deep inside you. it's all gummy and he swears he is gonna pass out. he loves it. shit. he looks doen at his cock and starts doing the calculations in his head. will that fit? you're already moaning with just his middle finger in. looks like he's gonna have to play more with his favorite pussy in the world before he fucks it properly.

#i have no excuses for this. he looks inexperienced to me sometimes so i had to do it #jjk smut #jjk x reader #nanami kento #nanami x reader #nanami smut #jujutsu kaisen #nanami kento x reader #jujutsu kaisen smut #jujutsu kaisen x reader #nanami x you #nanami x y/n

[kiksniko]

guys. hear me out

#bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #bsd #shin soukoku #sskk #akutagawa ryuunosuke #atsushi nakajima #sketchy #ngl this AU is for pure vibes. that being said i have thought about it way too much SGFHVHJVJBM #ALSO THIS WAS MY EXCUSE TO DRAW ATSU BECAUSE I LOVE HIM AND HE DESERVES TO LOOK PRETTY okay bye

[autiacorart]

i was asked to give connor this and here we are

#dbh connor #dbh #detroit become human #hank anderson #i'm sorry i can't draw hot men but i'm trying rly rly #thanks for the idea more excuses to draw connor #i freaking love bryan's face he's so pretty and yet so like regular looking idk how to explain but he's so pretty #but also looking like a regular guy you could meet everyday #i have no idea how to draw him i tried many times and he's impossible #idk i hate pretty men they make me feel things bc what are you pretty for #lol

[cubedmango]

indian blorbos obtained u know what that means [hits them w desi memes lazer]

#gayatri singh #pavitr prabhakar #spiderverse #across the spiderverse #marvel #atsv spoilers #my art #god i wish they put the song in the movie it wouldve been so funny #sony listen . u still have a chance in the next movie- #do ppl even know this meme anymore akfjdkjgkd i saw one (1) person mention it online so far #excuse my hindi handwriting it . sure will look like that when i never write in it

[wildflowercryptid]

that one part from indigo disk, but make it even MORE dramatic

#honestly i was looking for an excuse to have florian commit a sacrificial act for kieran's sake so when this scene happened i was cheering #very smart of the pc to throw out koraidon in that moment but i feel like flori would be too caught up in the moment to do that #this is one of the ideas i'm toying with making canon in mjverse #i'm still workshopping how it would play out exactly but i really wanted to draw this so here we are #pokemon #pokemon scarlet and violet #pkmn scarvio #pokemon kieran #rival kieran #pokemon florian #trainer florian #tealmaskshipping #hc : (pkmn) mjverse #chara : kieran hinoki #chara : florian russel cavallari #🎨 : mj draws #sv dlc spoilers #indigo disk spoilers

[maddymoreau]

Thinking about how Diavolo’s feelings transcend time and how in the Nightbringer UR+ card Demon Lord’s Castle Tour this conversation happens.

When asked, “Do you wish to see your father?”

Diavolo responds:

“I suppose I do . . .” isn’t the typical reaction to how a child would feel about wanting to see their parent. Especially when said parent has essentially been in a coma for a year.

Along with how Diavolo describe his father.

It makes more sense why when you learn in Lesson 56 how Diavolo was treated by him growing up.

Diavolo can tell when others are lying but is unable to understand his father’s intentions.

Diavolo mentions that he lived a very sheltered life growing up. That from a young age his father never allowed him a chance to talk to anyone outside the castle.

His childhood friend was Mephistopheles. A demon literally RAISED to be his friend. Putting a barrier between the two because Mephistopheles would put Diavolo on a pedestal.

The isolating childhood he experienced riddled with his strict father constantly scolding him.

Despite everything MC is so important to him he wants to see his father again so we can meet.

#Demons and Humans can’t get married even in the present so it adds an extra layer him wanting to introduce us. #There’s a lot more you could add onto this (please do I’d love to hear other’s thoughts). #Like how Diavolo’s childhood affected him just look at the way he describes himself: #“The truth is I am a child in a way. A child who spends his time alone and never gets to do anything interesting.” #A lot of Diavolo’s poor behavior while not excused comes from his childhood. #How Diavolo admits to using his position to force others to do what he wants. Along with how he doesn’t like sharing. #Diavolo’s insecurities in his friendships with others. #Mainly Lucifer and Barbatos which makes sense with how they happened. #IE Forcing Barbatos to become his butler and the oath/deal with Lucifer regarding Lilith. #It’s clear Diavolo is very lonely and carrying a heavy burden. #I like that MCs presence is helping him change into a better person. #Also I don’t think Diavolo hates his father their relationship just isn’t good and very complicated. #Diavolo is such a wonderful character if you have any in-depth posts about him please tag me I’d love to read them!!! #I AM FILLED WITH SAPPY THOUGHTS ABOUT DIAVOLO TONIGHT!!!! #Obey Me #Obey Me Spoiler #Obey Me Nightbringer #OMSWD #Obey Me Diavolo #Diavolo #MaddyMajolish #Is it obvious I can’t sleep because I’m riddled with Blorbo thoughts

[egophiliac]

felt like expanding on that earlier Malleus and Silver doodle! ...and then I immediately screwed up the resolution beyond repair so, uhhh, hopefully my lines don't look completely borked! ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

#art #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland spoilers #twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers #twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers #this has been sitting around in various stages of finished for a month now #i've been looking at it too much i no longer have any perception of whether or not i hate it #so i am throwing it out into the world because if i don't now i won't ever #i am always looking for an excuse to draw more meleanor anyway