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#live from averno
crookedkryptonitepost · 4 months
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Playlist inspired by Live from Averno bc I downloaded the episodes before it got taken down<3
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Fortnight ft. Post Malone = Daniel Deronda, George Eliot
The Tortured Poets Department = Wuthering Heights, Emily Brontë
My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys = Emily's Quest, L.M. Montgomery
Down Bad = Le Petit Prince, Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
So Long London = Brideshead Revisited, Evelyn Waugh
But Daddy I Love Him = Far from the Madding Crowd, Thomas Hardy
Fresh Out the Slammer = Hello Beautiful, Ann Napolitano
Florida!!! = Demon Copperhead, Barbara Kingsolver
Guilty as Sin = Crush, Richard Siken
Who's Afraid of Little Old Me? = "Fan-Fiction," Tavi Gevinson
I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can) = Furious Love: Elizabeth Taylor, Richard Burton, and the Marriage of the Century, Nancy Schoenberger and Sam Kashner
loml = Averno, Louise Glück
I Can Do It with a Broken Heart = Tracy Flick Can't Win, Tom Perrotta
The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived = "Good Country People," Flannery O'Connor
The Alchemy = Pride & Prejudice, Jane Austen
Clara Bow = The Princess Diarist, Carrie Fisher
TTPD booklist! Connections and vibes, nothing set in stone. Credit for #4 to @itspileofgoodthings and for #14 to @thisisctrying
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juregim · 1 year
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Chainsaw Man by Tatsuki Fujimoto
The Alchemist - Paulo Coelho // Vulnerability - a.j. // Other Lives and Dimensions and Finally a Love Poem - Bob Hicok // Prasoon Joshi // Allegories of Fate - Safet Zec // Acknowledgements - Danez Smith // John Keats // House of Tolerance (dir. Bertrand Bonello) // A Myth of Devotion from Averno - Louise Glück // To Love and Die - Jhené Aiko // A Softer World - Joey Comeau //
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derangedrhythms · 1 year
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Louise Glück, Averno; from ‘October’
TEXT ID: Tell me this is the future, I won't believe you. Tell me I'm living, I won't believe you.
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t0rschlusspan1k · 4 months
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A few years of fluency, and then the long silence, like the silence in the valley before the mountains send back your own voice changed to the voice of nature. This silence is my companion now. I ask: of what did my soul die? and the silence answers if your soul died, whose life are you living and when did you become that person?
Louise Glück, from Averno, “Echoes”
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wrenjacobswrites · 8 months
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Title: Averno
By: Me :)
Rating: Explicit
Fandom: Marvel/Black Panther: Wakanda Forever
Ship: Namor/Shuri
Summary: The internal validity (or weakness) of the plan to marry and breed with Namor would be if the God would even honor this agreement of not killing Riri if Shuri gave him what he wanted: her. Men have told bigger lies than this to get laid.
If he goes back on his word, I will kill him myself. A part of Shuri said. A part she barely recognized, a part that awakened in her after her brother died.
***
Persephone is having sex in hell.
Unlike the rest of us, she doesn't know
what winter is, only that
she is what causes it.
***
Author’s note: I decided to delete this from ao3 because I wasn’t happy with the way it was written. Also, because of my job I have no time to give it the love it deserves and whoever reads this deserves a better fanfic. I’ll leave this upon my tumblr for anyone who wants to read it. Thanks so much for the support, guys! It might reappear one day in better condition.
The dress was damp and heavy with humidity as it leaked down to her ankles. The material was thin, and the jades strung on the neckline was cold and clung to her skin. The cave housing Namor’s dwelling was dark and quiet, like the end of her brother’s funeral. If it wasn’t for the fact that she saw her new husband standing in the doorway with a smile on his face and his warriors surrounding him, she would’ve thought she was alone.
There was no moon underneath the sea, honey or otherwise. This next part was not meant to be sweet. This is a political marriage, meant to bond the kingdoms of Wakanda and Talokan. Namor had asked for her hand in exchange for the life of Riri. Shuri had agreed quickly and Namor’s face had lit up as if the sunshine fell upon it. Maybe this was his plan all along.
“You are like the sun,” Namor began.
“Hard to look at?” Shuri said. She tried to drown her nervousness in humor—a familiar situation. It instead formed a rock in the pit of her stomach. It was the type of wordplay that would earn her a soft chuckle from T’Challa. T’Challa would’ve searched the entire ocean for her. He wouldn’t approve of this, but he was not here. He was nowhere. He’s dead and he took the Black Panther with him.
“Radiant.” Namor continued as if she hadn’t spoken. “Come.” He held out his hand. Shuri took it, it was hot—if he were human, he’d be in the hospital. He had to be at least 115 degrees. He led her into the dwelling. He let her hand go before unraveling the cloth partition above the door until it fell down, covering the entrance, leaving Namora and Attuma outside.
The only light was a flickering fire making the room shadow wet. It was separated from her by a wooden table weighed down with fish, fruit, silver and glass bottles filled with liquids of mysterious origins, and a bar of dark chocolate.
Underneath her naked feet was a woven rug that wasn’t there before and to her left was a bed tucked in the corner that definitely wasn’t there before. It was covered with brown furs. Shuri stopped herself from gulping. It’s just sex, people do it all the time, even for fun. You haven’t. The judgmental voice in her head said. Shuri frowned as she walked to the fire and rested her hands above the flames. Her palms warmed, the clammy cold melting away. Finally, some warmth and light. Being underneath the world with Namor felt like living inside a sapphire.
The dress was damp and heavy with humidity as it leaked down to her ankles. The material was thin, and the jades strung on the neckline was cold and clung to her skin. The cave housing Namor’s dwelling was dark and quiet, like the end of her brother’s funeral. If it wasn’t for the fact that she saw her new husband standing in the doorway with a smile on his face and his warriors surrounding him, she would’ve thought she was alone.
There was no moon underneath the sea, honey or otherwise. This next part was not meant to be sweet. This is a political marriage, meant to bond the kingdoms of Wakanda and Talokan. Namor had asked for her hand in exchange for the life of Riri. Shuri had agreed quickly and Namor’s face had lit up as if the sunshine fell upon it. Maybe this was his plan all along.
“You are like the sun,” Namor began.
“Hard to look at?” Shuri said. She tried to drown her nervousness in humor—a familiar situation. It instead formed a rock in the pit of her stomach. It was the type of wordplay that would earn her a soft chuckle from T’Challa. T’Challa would’ve searched the entire ocean for her. He wouldn’t approve of this, but he was not here. He was nowhere. He’s dead and he took the Black Panther with him.
“Radiant.” Namor continued as if she hadn’t spoken. “Come.” He held out his hand. Shuri took it, it was hot—if he were human, he’d be in the hospital. He had to be at least 115 degrees. He led her into the dwelling. He let her hand go before unraveling the cloth partition above the door until it fell down, covering the entrance, leaving Namora and Attuma outside.
The only light was a flickering fire making the room shadow wet. It was separated from her by a wooden table weighed down with fish, fruit, silver and glass bottles filled with liquids of mysterious origins, and a bar of dark chocolate.
Underneath her naked feet was a woven rug that wasn’t there before and to her left was a bed tucked in the corner that definitely wasn’t there before. It was covered with brown furs. Shuri stopped herself from gulping. It’s just sex, people do it all the time, even for fun. You haven’t. The judgmental voice in her head said. Shuri frowned as she walked to the fire and rested her hands above the flames. Her palms warmed, the clammy cold melting away. Finally, some warmth and light. Being underneath the world with Namor felt like living inside a sapphire.
Namor went to her, his arm touching hers. The orange blaze of the fire sewn shards of ruby in his dark eyes. The right side of his face was covered in shadow as he smiled at her.
“I apologize for the temperature, my Queen.”
Shuri smiled. “Oh, I’ll be fine. I mean, what can you do? You’re only a God.”
This time Namor did chuckle. “Do you really think me a God?”
“No. There are no Gods.” Shuri said. If there were, they would’ve saved my brother who was just and good. He was Bast’s greatest warrior, and she let him die.
“Hm.” Namor said with a frown. Her stomach sank.
“But your people would die for you without hesitation, so you’re just as good as one.” Shuri rushed out before watching the floor like a wilting flower. Hopefully she wasn’t screwing up the marriage already. At least wait until Riri is safe. Jeez.
Namor turned to her. He pointed his index finger under her chin and guided it up until she watched him. She had never seen eyes so dark. They were like coal. “Never change your answer, yourself, for me. I married the princess of Wakanda, not a spineless jellyfish.”
“Even a jellyfish has her sting.” Shuri said before watching the fire again. Namor placed his large hand on her lower back, making her feel thin and breakable. He pulled her close, leaned in, his soft breath tickled her earlobe and made the hair on the back of her neck stand up. He smelled of wildflowers and honey. She turned her head toward him and moved her mouth toward his too quickly. Their teeth smacked together.
“Ah, shoot.” Shuri covered her mouth with her hand, trying to quell the dull, throbbing pain of the front of her teeth—they weren’t broken, and she wasn’t bleeding but still, ow. Namor looked completely unfazed.
“Did I hurt you?” He asked.
“Are you made of diamond? Jeez.”
Namor chuckled. “No, I am flesh. Though a sturdier kind.”
Shuri would love to see a piece of his DNA underneath a microscope, find out what makes him as strong and tough as a rhino. She pushed that thought down. What an odd thing to think on your wedding day.
“I see.” Shuri said. “Should we try again?”
“I would like that.” Namor cupped the side of her face with his soft hand, holding her in place as he dipped down for a kiss. His lips were soft as a rose petal. Her eyes fluttered closed. She pressed back tentatively, tangling her fingers in her dress just to hold onto something. Namor put his thumb under her bottom lip and pulled down slightly. She got the idea and opened her mouth and he drunk her in—he tasted like the sea—briny and salty, but it was as sweet as wine in her mouth. The kiss was mixed with the flavor of fruit seeds she couldn’t name that Namor fed her earlier.
She’d only ever been kissed once and it was through her breathing apparatus about an hour ago, during the wedding ceremony. Now it's all-consuming, like water. Her hands shook as he gripped the nape of her neck to keep their mouths together. He didn’t need to breathe but Shuri did, so he put one of her hands between them until it found his chest and pressed against it. He pulled back until his hot breath buzzed against her lips.
Shuri shivered. There was fluttering in her stomach. “What now?”
Namor’s hand cupped the front of her throat, and his fingers close around her neck, gently. It was as if he couldn’t stop touching her. His thumb tugged at the corner of her mouth, dipping in slightly. Shuri’s face was on fire, but she kept their gazes locked.
“We are to consummate our marriage.” Namor said as he nodded toward the bed in the corner of the room before watching her again. “And we cannot leave this room until we do.”
“O-oh.” Shuri said. She had ‘the talk’ with her mother when she first bled at age thirteen. The Queen wanted her to be in her thirties, married, and in love before she so much as even looked at a man in a sensual manner and the man had better have been an upstanding Wakandan, rich like the handsome grandson of the Merchant Tribe elder. What would mother think if she could see her now, married to what could’ve been Wakanda’s destruction? A man—a king, a God who coerced her into his bed under threat of the life of another if she refused him? Would the queen think it noble or foolish? Hopefully Shuri would get the chance to ask her.
“Just…”
“I don’t mean to rush you.” Namor said gently.
“I know.” Shuri said too quickly, her face heating. “King, I mean, K'uk’…Jeez, I am very sure I am butchering your title.”
“You may call me king.”
“And Namor?”
“If you find it easier to pronounce.”
“King, Namor, I’ve never…ahem. I’m a virgin.”
“Ah, I see.” Namor said. He looked a little too pleased. “I trust you’re familiar with the concept?”
Round pegs in circular holes—Shuri couldn’t help but to think but thank Bast it didn’t come out of her mouth. She’d never been into pornography, and she thought more about algorithms than boys but she’s a woman of science, she knows the mechanics of most things and how bodies fit together to form new bodies. It’s simple math, 1+1=2.
“I am and I am ready.” Shuri said with more confidence than she felt. She couldn’t deny that Namor is beautiful, sculpted from marble like Adonis drizzled in caramel. Tall and broad with eyes and hair as dark as the deep sea. His personality so far is loving, gentle. She could almost forget the circumstances—the fight—that preceded the marriage, the abduction to the underworld. The threat of the death of Riri if Shuri didn’t give him what he wanted. Shuri could pretend that this was all her choice and that she was in love. Namor made it easy.
Namor’s eyes were heavy lidded, and his lips were slightly apart. He looked as if he was enchanted by her. He smoothly went behind her. On the back of her dress was jade buttons leading down to the top of her bottom. Obviously, this was the only way of getting it off safely. Namor popped them open one by one until the dress slipped down to her elbows, baring her unsexy undershirt underneath it. She wore no bra because she didn’t need one. Her breasts were small—too small. She pulled off the sleeves until the dress pooled down to ankles, revealing her boy cut underwear. She turned to face Namor, and he pulled her into a kiss. She looped her arms around his neck and drew him close until there was no space between them. He placed his hands on her sides—the dusky strip of skin between her undershirt and underwear sticking to Namor’s warm stomach. He was so solid-strong. It felt like he could snap her in half without even trying. Hopefully he’ll keep that in mind when they…have intercourse. He lifted her up with his hands under her thighs and she crossed her ankles behind him. She tightened her arms around his neck, and she clung to him. He pressed his lips under her jaw, causing a tingle to run down her spine as he walked with her to the bed. He placed her on it with care before climbing over her—the bed complained under their weight.
She thought she would lose her virginity on holiday in New York City. There would be candles and mood music. There would be rose petals on the bed and chocolate covered strawberries. It would be after a fancy dinner and a night on the town. Her lover never had a specific gender, but she couldn’t imagine in a million years it would’ve been a God of a world below.
Namor’s skin was the color of a reddish gold sunset. Eyes and hair as dark as the depths. Tongue soft. He inches back and placed his big hand on her stomach. She took a shaky breath as he swept his thumb over the bumps of her ribs, he watched her like she was a work of art, like she left him speechless.
“My Queen.” He said lowly as he dipped down to press his lips against hers for a beat before pulling back. “The prophesies do not do you justice.”
“Prophesies?” Shuri asked as she wrapped her arms around his waist, pulling him down over her until there was no space between them.
“I was to be married to a daughter of earth and fire. She would be patient, selfless, beautiful…and unite the kingdoms of land and sea.”
“How do you know I’m her?”
“How could you not be? Eyes the color of coffee bean, skin brown silk, and a rage that could burn a third of the surface world’s trees and green grass. A hail of fire mixed with with blood.”
“From the Christian book of revelations. 8:7.” Shuri said.
“And unbelievably intelligent. I’ve waited centuries for you.” Namor said as he hooked his fingers in the hem of her underwear. She lifted her hips as he slid them down her legs. Her forehead was damp from sweat. No man had ever seen this much of her. She slipped off her undershirt and it pooled on to the floor. Her hand went up to cover her breasts, but Namor pinned her arms above her head with one of his hands gripping her wrists. “Every inch of you is perfection.”
“I-I bet you say that to every queen on your wedding night.” Shuri joked, flexing her wrists clutched in his fist. Namor must’ve taken what she said seriously.
“There have been no others.”
“So, you’re a 500-year-old virgin?”
Namor chuckled before brushing his lips against hers. “No. I know what I am doing.”
“That makes one of us.”
“Were you never curious?” Namor asked.
“I consider myself a girl—ahem, a woman of science. I know the ins and uh, outs,” Phrasing, boom! Shuri couldn’t stop herself from thinking. “But I’m not much of a porno person.”
“Porno?”
“Oh, of course you don’t know what that is.” Shuri could smack herself upside the head. “It’s…on the surface world some people are paid to, um, simulate breeding for others to…see.”
Namor’s eyebrows rose. Shuri’s face could’ve been on fire. This was so awkward. Bast.
“It’s a form of erotic..stimulation.” Shuri tried to explain away.
“I illustrate paintings.” Namor said as if he were trying to make her feel better. “For erotic stimulation.”
Shuri pressed her lips against his to bring his attention back to the subject at hand, instead of how hard she’s bombing. He let her wrist go and weighed her down, the vibranium covering him glittering in the fire. Namor pulled back and stood, carefully removing the jewelry across his neck and decorating his arms. He placed them on the nightstand. He then unhooked that WWE championship like metal belt before sliding those tiny green shorts down his strong legs. He unlatched his footwear.
Shuri had never seen a man naked outside of an artistic context. The reflection of the flames danced across the expanse of his wide chest, his stomach was taught, his…down there looked too big to fit inside her and was covered with black hair on the base. Now they’re both naked. Namor knelt between her legs and took her ankle in one of his hands to spread her open.
“Wait, what about protection?” Shuri asked.
“Protection?”
“I don’t think you have a disease that could be transmitted sexually, but I wonder about preventing pregnancy.”
“Preventing? My Queen, that is the entire point of us lying together.”
“Wait, what? Now?”
“Yes, now.” Namor said. “The daughter of earth and fire will bear the son of air and water a child that could walk between worlds.”
“A child? I’m only twenty.”
“You are of sexual maturity for a human.”
“I am but…I’m not sure I want to be a mother yet.”
“This was our agreement. You are my Queen. There are certain responsibilities that come with that title, certain sacrifices.”
“So, it has to be now?”
“According to the prophesies, you conceive on our wedding night.” Namor said. “I do not go against prophesies.”
“Then…”
“Then?” He said lowly, dangerously.
Shuri swallowed thickly. Just when she thought marrying Namor to save Riri couldn’t be any less of a plan, he wanted to get her pregnant! Could she call this whole thing off? He only agreed to spare the student if Shuri became his queen. This would be seen as a dealbreaker and then it’ll be all out war. He would kill Riri and probably her, dragging Wakanda into a conflict with the entire ocean. Bast! Okay, just because she’s getting pregnant doesn’t mean she has to stay pregnant—morning after pill and all that. She’ll give him what he wanted and figure a way out later.
“…Neither shall I.” Shuri finished as she spread her thighs. A smile rose on Namor’s face as he gently cupped his hands under her knees, holding her open as he slides in between her thighs. He lets one of her knees go before using his finger to slide down to her entrance. She kept her legs open as he dipped his finger inside her. She bit her lip against the slight burn. He used his thumb to rub against her clitoris. Her breathing picked up as the sensation of pleasure washed over her. Namor stuck his finger into the hilt and held it there, never letting up on rubbing her button. Her moans were breathy, and her toes curled. Her mouth dropped open as Namor watched her as if he were enchanted.
“The sounds you make…” Namor said, as soft as candlelight. “You are music, you are art, you are everything.”
Shuri wanted to cover her face—flattered, but embarrassed. She had no idea how to respond to any of that, but he stuck another finger in her and she cried out—her voice repeated through the quiet dwelling. Hopefully Riri couldn’t hear that. Shuri’s not sure the student would agree with this plan. The internal validity (or weakness) of the plan to marry and breed with Namor would be if the God would even honor this agreement of not killing Riri if Shuri gave him what he wanted: her. Men have told bigger lies than this to get laid.
If he goes back on his word, I will kill him myself. A part of Shuri said. A part she barely recognized, a part that awakened in her after her brother died.
Her eyes fluttered closed as Namor kept his index and middle finger deep inside her while rubbing clit. She tangled her fingers in the fur blanket under her while using her other hand to push at his stomach, not sure what she wanted. She bit her lip and rocked her hips against his fingers, urging him to move. He took his fingers away and tucked them in his mouth. Shuri shuddered, her…down there…felt too empty and wet. Her breathing was shallow and there was a slickness on her skin that wasn’t due to humidity. She didn’t need to lie back and think of Wakanda to get through procreating with Namor. She wanted this. She was ready.
She sat up and climbed into his lap, holding herself to him by wrapping her arms around his neck. He gasped—probably at her body heat and how close her entrance was to his dick. He steadied her with his arm around her waist, keeping her flush against him, her breasts against his chest. His chuckle was deep, and it vibrated through his body like a purr.
“Never in my centuries of living have I had a maiden not be intimidated by me.”
“If you want to be intimidating, you shouldn’t wear those tiny green shorts.”
Namor laughed lowly. “You surprise me, my Queen. The lack of deference…”
“Would you like me to use deference?” Shuri asked before stealing his answer by giving him a wet kiss. He shuddered against her before they pulled apart.
“You should. I am K'uk'ulkan.” Namor said.
Shuri pulled back an inch to look into his eyes. She needed to gauge how serious he was. If she was screwing this up somehow…He looked as if he were under her own personal spell. What he wanted was an equal, after being revered all his life. He didn’t want Shuri to be afraid to look him in the eyes or hold her tongue. He wanted a queen, not a concubine. She could be that for him.
“And I was the princess of the most powerful nation in the world.” Shuri said. “Now I am queen of another. Perhaps it is you who should use deference.”
Namor answered by pressing their lips together with the intensity of a punch—well, that’s not true. Her jaw would be broken because Namor seemed like he was molded from the same vibranium he usually wore on his chest. He picked her up like she weighed as much as a feather before taking her over to the wooden table in the middle of the room. He knocked the plates of grapes and fish to the ground. The wine bottle shattered into confetti as it soaked into the cracks in the floor like blood. Shuri inwardly groaned, she wanted some of that.
Namor laid her on the table, bending over to kiss her again. Shuri’s thighs bracketed his waist, as his dick rubbed against her entrance. He sighed into her mouth as he rocked against her, never fully getting inside her. Shuri burned down there—she needed him in, so she angled her hips down. Namor stood up from her and wrapped his strong hand against the front of her neck to keep her pinned to the table. He used his other hand to grab the base of his dick and press it into Shuri. Shuri groaned as he entered her, slowly pushing into until he couldn’t anymore.
Shuri squeaked as she grasped the side of the table. She clenched her eyes shut against the burn and unbearable pleasure of being full. He was deep inside her—she could almost feel it in her stomach. She clenched around him, trying to get use to his girth. She was sticky with sweat, her lips quivered.
Namor took deep, slow breaths—as if he were trying to contain himself. It was irritating how composed he was trying to be. Always dignified. What could she do to break that composure? Shuri laid still, waiting for the raw newness of being penetrated to fade. When she became slicker, she moved her hip down causing him to slide even deeper into her.
He gasped—the mask of calmness finally slipping. He gripped the end of the table, the sturdy wood crumbling in his hand like granola. That made Shuri freeze.
“Remember,” Shuri said breathlessly. “I am not made out of stone.”
Namor chuckled before pulling out of her an inch and pushing back in, fucking her slow. His quiet, quick breaths filled up the dwelling. She clenched her toes as he picked up the pace, but not the force.
Shuri mewled and moaned, unable to stop herself. Her mouth hung open as she shut her eyes. Every time he filled her, there was fireworks behind her eyelids. It was overwhelming, nothing like the touches she gave herself before getting bored and stopping. Her breath caught as surges of pleasure shot through her. Her thighs shook.
The coarseness of the wooden table under her chafed her back. The wooden legs bluntly scrubbed against the floor with each push of Namor’s hips. He was more forceful now, knocking groans out of her. He was eerily quiet as he placed his soft hand on her stomach.
Shuri bent up slightly to thread her fingers into his hair and pull him down on top of her. His rhythm fumbled as she kissed him like she wanted to devour him. He wrapped his arms around her and lifted her hips slightly to pound into her—finally losing that cool façade. Shuri held on to his shoulders, her fingers turning to claws as cried out every time she was filled. She came, her vision whiting out as she shook, the pleasure flooded over her as her voice went high. Namor stilled inside her, holding her close to himself.
Shuri’s breathing was labored as she went limp, staring up at Namor. The flinching fire made flecks of gold on his skin. His hair was mussed from her running her fingers through it. He was so strong on top of her. She felt so tiny in the wake of him. She tapped him with her foot to get him to move. He fucked into her forcefully, obviously not hard enough to hurt her, just enough for the undercurrent of burning to arise in her. He moved quickly, using her like a toy until he stilled, coming deep inside her. His grip on her hips felt hard enough to bruise as she bit her bottom lip.
They stay there catching their breaths. Namor stayed pinned inside her, probably trying to make sure of conception. Shuri couldn’t worry about that now. Would he honor their agreement now that they’ve slept together? Now that they’re married? Was Riri safe?
Namor pulled out of her, and Shuri felt slickness seep out. His come. Yuck.
Shuri sat up at the end of the table while Namor sat on the bed. In between her thighs hurt so she had trouble closing her legs. They watch each other like a showdown. The romance movies never portrayed after sex awkwardness. What does a princess…Queen…and a God talk about? He’d seen centuries worth of treasures, rises and falls of empires, entire histories play out over and over again, but if those things weren’t on the internet or in books, Shuri didn’t know them.
“So,” Shuri began as she picked at her nail beds with her thumb. The coolness washed over her, making her realize she was completely naked. “Have sex with a God. Check.”
“You are making a list?”
“A Beyoncé concert is next.”
“Beyoncé?”
“I have so much to teach you.” Shuri said.
“And I would love to learn.” Namor said. “Come to me. I would like to lie with you.”
“I must visit Riri first. I’ve been gone hours. I need to let her know you did not cook and eat me.”
Namor chuckled before speaking. “I expect you back after.”
“Okay.” Shuri said. “About Riri…”
“I will honor my promise. If you stay with me and Wakanda becomes an ally to Talokan, the scientist lives, and there will be peace. I’m sure you’ll both be very happy here.”
Shuri hadn’t told Riri Namor expected them to both live out the rest of their days in his underworld. That couldn’t happen but she’ll take what she could get right now. At least they’re safe.
There was still the matter of him wanting to wage war on the entire surface world, but Lemonade wasn’t recorded in a day. Ideas take time to seed and grow. She was confident she could convince Namor Wakanda and Talokan could come to a peaceful solution with America and the rest of the world.
Shuri gets dressed in her bridal gown and gives Namor a deep kiss. There was still that dull ache between her legs as she was led by her new lady in waiting back to where they kept Riri.
The Talokanil woman is sprawled out on the floor, clutching a hole in her abdomen. Her eyes are shiny with tears. She’s shaking as Nakia stood over her holding a weapon.
“No.” Shuri whispers and rushes over, bending down over the woman. She tried to save her, but the woman fell limp, her eyes rolled to the back of her head. The damage was done. Nakia tells Shuri they have to leave before reinforcements arrive.
“You don’t understand! This will mean war!” Shuri needed to find Namor, to apologize to-to explain the situation. She had never seen his wrath—his anger. He didn’t seem the type to rush to judgement. Though she only had three conversations and sex with him. He looked at her as if the sun rose in her eyes. He loved her. That had to mean something, right?
Nakia and Riri drag her away and they escape. While being wrapped in the warm embrace of her mother, she knows Namor is not far behind.
Wakanda was a golden nation, the fresh wind swept through the market bringing the smell of bread, fruits, flowers, and sweets into Shuri’s lab. It was nothing like being in the dark, heart shaped tomb of Namor where the only light was silk stuck in the canopy of a cave like trapped stars. Wakanda glowed in comparison, the sunshine stretching over the blades of grass, making the world surrounding the city shine like a field of crystals. She never appreciated her home until she’s been somewhere different for a while.
Shuri watched the city from the screens in her lab and couldn’t help but to see it drowned in water. Namor was coming. Her stomach cramped with nervousness. It had been about ten hours since she’d been rescued. She’d eaten, bathed, and tried to sleep but was not successful. She’d shooed away doctors and assured her mother three times that Namor had not harmed her. Shuri hadn’t told the queen that she married or slept with him. She might never.
“Griot?”
“Yes, princess?”
“I need a body scan.” Shuri said before she laid on her table like so many other of her experiments and inventions before her. She kept her arms pinned by her side as purple lights traveled from her shoes to her forehead. A silhouette of herself appeared on a screen. There was a red circle in her uterus. Oh.
“You are pregnant.”
“What is the accuracy?”
“98%.”
“Bast.” Shuri could always wait and take an over-the-counter pregnancy test, but they were so primitive. With that, it could take weeks to know for sure.
“Should I alert the queen?”
“I cannot express how much I do not want you to do that.”
“Yes, princess.”
Shuri sat on the side of the table and rubbed her temples. She was a 21st century woman and a woman of science. Whether she considered it a child at this stage was purely academic. Moral and religious arguments aside, she was not ready to be a mother. Especially with a man whose physiology, genetics, and temperament she could only guess. She also really, really didn’t want to tell her mother she slept with Namor, and that she enjoyed it.
Shuri could create something quick and painless to terminate the pregnancy with a snap of her fingers. No one had to know. She better get to it.
Shuri’s mouth went dry and sweat collected on her skin. Her hands shook. Namor told Shuri about his mother—how she became the hope of his people as they drowned themselves to escape their oppressors. Shuri was in the same position as her-to bear a leader to bridge worlds. They were hundreds of years apart and one only existed in memory, but Shuri felt her hand guiding her.
Namor scorned the surface world and wished to see it toil in a hail of fire but marrying Shuri symbolized unity, forgiveness. So did the child she carried. Shuri was Namor’s one anchor to a world outside of the sea. The sole reason he might reconsider war with the entire world. This child could strengthen her position with him. Convince him that good still exists outside of the ocean. There can be peace.
Bast. Was she keeping this fucking baby?
“Princess! Multiple breaches into the perimeters of Wakanda!”
The waters swelled and the Talokanil crawled out of it—splashed across the screens in her lab were flashes water exploding through buildings, Wakandans heading for higher ground. Her soldiers had been warned the city could be attacked so they were ready as they headed straight to the warriors of the deep. There was a flicker in the sky-Namor.
Shuri rushed to the throne room. It’s her best guess as to where Namor was headed. She closed the door on Okoye’s face and bolted it. The throne room’s door was pure vibranium, designed to keep out all enemies, including fellow Wakandans. Now she was alone, save her mother, who watched Shuri with wide eyes.
“Shuri? What are you doing?” Queen Ramonda asked.
“Mother, no matter what happens, do not attack Namor.” Shuri said. “You need to let me handle it.”
“Are you insane? I’m not letting him anywhere near you.” Queen Ramonda said.
“Listen to me! There has to be no more bloodshed. Keep the Dora Milaje out of the throne room. I need to speak with him alone.”
“I am not leaving you.” The Queen said. “That is out of the question.”
“Fine.” Shuri said. “But you have to trust me.”
The Queen pursed her lips. For once she kept her thoughts to herself. She must’ve seen the look on Shuri’s face.
The glass of the windows shattered, sending shimmering shards of gold flying everywhere. Namor, in all his furious glory stood on the windowsill. The white sun bloomed behind him like a halo, the vibranium across his chest glittering. His eyes were lifeless and dull like a shark’s. His fist was clenched around his spear as he came toward Shuri. Her mother started to go to her—obviously to protect her from Namor but stilled when Shuri held out her palm to her.
Namor grabbed the front of Shuri’s collar, lifted her and slammed her against the wall. She coughed out a breath. Queen Ramonda gasped.
“I should never have trusted you.” Namor told her. “You will come to Talokan and answer for your crime.”
“She will do no such thing!” Queen Ramonda yelled.
“Mother! Please!” Shuri didn’t want to get her involved. This was between her and Namor. Her husband.
While Shuri didn’t kill the Talokanil woman, a member of her nation did. Shuri’s duty as princess of Wakanda was to take responsibility for her people. Namor understood this as a king himself, so it must be why he wants her and not Nakia to answer for the killing. Not that Shuri would sell Nakia out anyway.
“Namor.” Shuri began slowly. “A member of my court came to save me from you. She didn’t know about the terms of our agreement.
“Agreement? What agreement?” The queen asked.
“Mother.” Shuri said firmly. Namor glanced over at Queen Ramonda before watching Shuri again.
“You didn’t even tell her.” Namor scoffed. “How much of it was real? Between you and I? What we shared?”
They had like…three conversations and Namor acted like they were divorcing after thirty years of marriage because of her infidelity. It would be funny if he didn’t look at her like he wanted to strangle the life out of her.
“It was all real.” Shuri said. “But my people needed me, and you cannot say that if you were in my shoes, your people wouldn’t have done the same thing.”
Namor took a breath. Shuri was getting through to him. He was turning out to be a soft touch with her.
“Tell your people to stop laying siege to Wakanda and we can talk about this.”
“Why should I trust you? After all you’ve done?” Namor asked.
“Because you love me.” Shuri said. Queen Ramonda mouth dropped open. Looks like she put two and two together.
“What did you do to her, you savage?!”
“Nothing she did not want me to, Queen Mother.” Namor said but that only served to make the queen angrier. She went over to yank Namor’s hand off of Shuri, but he didn’t budge.
“Mother! Stop it! I will explain it all. We can all stay calm and talk.” Shuri said. “Tell your people to stop.”
Namor took his hand off Shuri and she dropped to the floor. He flew out of the window. Queen Ramonda rushed to Shuri’s side.
“I’m fine.” Shuri said as she stood. “You must call off our soldiers.”
“Shuri—“
“Mother, please.”
The Queen took a deep breath before speaking into her communication device. With a few words the outside became silent. Shuri’s heart pounded. Her stomach twisted and Queen Ramonda wrapped her arms around Shuri as if to protect her.
Namor came back to the window, still frowning, covered in pearls of water. Guess that short trip did nothing to cool him off. He took a step toward Shuri, but Queen Ramonda stood in front of her. His frown deepened.
Shuri went around her mother to face Namor. He stared her down.
“If you desire it, I consider our agreement still valid.” Shuri said.
“What agreement?” Queen Ramonda asked firmly.
“She was queen of Talokan for a day.” Namor said. “Now she is criminal.”
Namor went to her, his arm touching hers. The orange blaze of the fire sewn shards of ruby in his dark eyes. The right side of his face was covered in shadow as he smiled at her.
“I apologize for the temperature, my Queen.”
Shuri smiled. “Oh, I’ll be fine. I mean, what can you do? You’re only a God.”
This time Namor did chuckle. “Do you really think me a God?”
“No. There are no Gods.” Shuri said. If there were, they would’ve saved my brother who was just and good. He was Bast’s greatest warrior, and she let him die.
“Hm.” Namor said with a frown. Her stomach sank.
“But your people would die for you without hesitation, so you’re just as good as one.” Shuri rushed out before watching the floor like a wilting flower. Hopefully she wasn’t screwing up the marriage already. At least wait until Riri is safe. Jeez.
Namor turned to her. He pointed his index finger under her chin and guided it up until she watched him. She had never seen eyes so dark. They were like coal. “Never change your answer, yourself, for me. I married the princess of Wakanda, not a spineless jellyfish.”
“Even a jellyfish has her sting.” Shuri said before watching the fire again. Namor placed his large hand on her lower back, making her feel thin and breakable. He pulled her close, leaned in, his soft breath tickled her earlobe and made the hair on the back of her neck stand up. He smelled of wildflowers and honey. She turned her head toward him and moved her mouth toward his too quickly. Their teeth smacked together.
“Ah, shoot.” Shuri covered her mouth with her hand, trying to quell the dull, throbbing pain of the front of her teeth—they weren’t broken, and she wasn’t bleeding but still, ow. Namor looked completely unfazed.
“Did I hurt you?” He asked.
“Are you made of diamond? Jeez.”
Namor chuckled. “No, I am flesh. Though a sturdier kind.”
Shuri would love to see a piece of his DNA underneath a microscope, find out what makes him as strong and tough as a rhino. She pushed that thought down. What an odd thing to think on your wedding day.
“I see.” Shuri said. “Should we try again?”
“I would like that.” Namor cupped the side of her face with his soft hand, holding her in place as he dipped down for a kiss. His lips were soft as a rose petal. Her eyes fluttered closed. She pressed back tentatively, tangling her fingers in her dress just to hold onto something. Namor put his thumb under her bottom lip and pulled down slightly. She got the idea and opened her mouth and he drunk her in—he tasted like the sea—briny and salty, but it was as sweet as wine in her mouth. The kiss was mixed with the flavor of fruit seeds she couldn’t name that Namor fed her earlier.
She’d only ever been kissed once and it was through her breathing apparatus about an hour ago, during the wedding ceremony. Now it's all-consuming, like water. Her hands shook as he gripped the nape of her neck to keep their mouths together. He didn’t need to breathe but Shuri did, so he put one of her hands between them until it found his chest and pressed against it. He pulled back until his hot breath buzzed against her lips.
Shuri shivered. There was fluttering in her stomach. “What now?”
Namor’s hand cupped the front of her throat, and his fingers close around her neck, gently. It was as if he couldn’t stop touching her. His thumb tugged at the corner of her mouth, dipping in slightly. Shuri’s face was on fire, but she kept their gazes locked.
“We are to consummate our marriage.” Namor said as he nodded toward the bed in the corner of the room before watching her again. “And we cannot leave this room until we do.”
“O-oh.” Shuri said. She had ‘the talk’ with her mother when she first bled at age thirteen. The Queen wanted her to be in her thirties, married, and in love before she so much as even looked at a man in a sensual manner and the man had better have been an upstanding Wakandan, rich like the handsome grandson of the Merchant Tribe elder. What would mother think if she could see her now, married to what could’ve been Wakanda’s destruction? A man—a king, a God who coerced her into his bed under threat of the life of another if she refused him? Would the queen think it noble or foolish? Hopefully Shuri would get the chance to ask her.
“Just…”
“I don’t mean to rush you.” Namor said gently.
“I know.” Shuri said too quickly, her face heating. “King, I mean, K'uk’…Jeez, I am very sure I am butchering your title.”
“You may call me king.”
“And Namor?”
“If you find it easier to pronounce.”
“King, Namor, I’ve never…ahem. I’m a virgin.”
“Ah, I see.” Namor said. He looked a little too pleased. “I trust you’re familiar with the concept?”
Round pegs in circular holes—Shuri couldn’t help but to think but thank Bast it didn’t come out of her mouth. She’d never been into pornography, and she thought more about algorithms than boys but she’s a woman of science, she knows the mechanics of most things and how bodies fit together to form new bodies. It’s simple math, 1+1=2.
“I am and I am ready.” Shuri said with more confidence than she felt. She couldn’t deny that Namor is beautiful, sculpted from marble like Adonis drizzled in caramel. Tall and broad with eyes and hair as dark as the deep sea. His personality so far is loving, gentle. She could almost forget the circumstances—the fight—that preceded the marriage, the abduction to the underworld. The threat of the death of Riri if Shuri didn’t give him what he wanted. Shuri could pretend that this was all her choice and that she was in love. Namor made it easy.
Namor’s eyes were heavy lidded, and his lips were slightly apart. He looked as if he was enchanted by her. He smoothly went behind her. On the back of her dress was jade buttons leading down to the top of her bottom. Obviously, this was the only way of getting it off safely. Namor popped them open one by one until the dress slipped down to her elbows, baring her unsexy undershirt underneath it. She wore no bra because she didn’t need one. Her breasts were small—too small. She pulled off the sleeves until the dress pooled down to ankles, revealing her boy cut underwear. She turned to face Namor, and he pulled her into a kiss. She looped her arms around his neck and drew him close until there was no space between them. He placed his hands on her sides—the dusky strip of skin between her undershirt and underwear sticking to Namor’s warm stomach. He was so solid-strong. It felt like he could snap her in half without even trying. Hopefully he’ll keep that in mind when they…have intercourse. He lifted her up with his hands under her thighs and she crossed her ankles behind him. She tightened her arms around his neck, and she clung to him. He pressed his lips under her jaw, causing a tingle to run down her spine as he walked with her to the bed. He placed her on it with care before climbing over her—the bed complained under their weight.
She thought she would lose her virginity on holiday in New York City. There would be candles and mood music. There would be rose petals on the bed and chocolate covered strawberries. It would be after a fancy dinner and a night on the town. Her lover never had a specific gender, but she couldn’t imagine in a million years it would’ve been a God of a world below.
Namor’s skin was the color of a reddish gold sunset. Eyes and hair as dark as the depths. Tongue soft. He inches back and placed his big hand on her stomach. She took a shaky breath as he swept his thumb over the bumps of her ribs, he watched her like she was a work of art, like she left him speechless.
“My Queen.” He said lowly as he dipped down to press his lips against hers for a beat before pulling back. “The prophesies do not do you justice.”
“Prophesies?” Shuri asked as she wrapped her arms around his waist, pulling him down over her until there was no space between them.
“I was to be married to a daughter of earth and fire. She would be patient, selfless, beautiful…and unite the kingdoms of land and sea.”
“How do you know I’m her?”
“How could you not be? Eyes the color of coffee bean, skin brown silk, and a rage that could burn a third of the surface world’s trees and green grass. A hail of fire mixed with with blood.”
“From the Christian book of revelations. 8:7.” Shuri said.
“And unbelievably intelligent. I’ve waited centuries for you.” Namor said as he hooked his fingers in the hem of her underwear. She lifted her hips as he slid them down her legs. Her forehead was damp from sweat. No man had ever seen this much of her. She slipped off her undershirt and it pooled on to the floor. Her hand went up to cover her breasts, but Namor pinned her arms above her head with one of his hands gripping her wrists. “Every inch of you is perfection.”
“I-I bet you say that to every queen on your wedding night.” Shuri joked, flexing her wrists clutched in his fist. Namor must’ve taken what she said seriously.
“There have been no others.”
“So, you’re a 500-year-old virgin?”
Namor chuckled before brushing his lips against hers. “No. I know what I am doing.”
“That makes one of us.”
“Were you never curious?” Namor asked.
“I consider myself a girl—ahem, a woman of science. I know the ins and uh, outs,” Phrasing, boom! Shuri couldn’t stop herself from thinking. “But I’m not much of a porno person.”
“Porno?”
“Oh, of course you don’t know what that is.” Shuri could smack herself upside the head. “It’s…on the surface world some people are paid to, um, simulate breeding for others to…see.”
Namor’s eyebrows rose. Shuri’s face could’ve been on fire. This was so awkward. Bast.
“It’s a form of erotic..stimulation.” Shuri tried to explain away.
“I illustrate paintings.” Namor said as if he were trying to make her feel better. “For erotic stimulation.”
Shuri pressed her lips against his to bring his attention back to the subject at hand, instead of how hard she’s bombing. He let her wrist go and weighed her down, the vibranium covering him glittering in the fire. Namor pulled back and stood, carefully removing the jewelry across his neck and decorating his arms. He placed them on the nightstand. He then unhooked that WWE championship like metal belt before sliding those tiny green shorts down his strong legs. He unlatched his footwear.
Shuri had never seen a man naked outside of an artistic context. The reflection of the flames danced across the expanse of his wide chest, his stomach was taught, his…down there looked too big to fit inside her and was covered with black hair on the base. Now they’re both naked. Namor knelt between her legs and took her ankle in one of his hands to spread her open.
“Wait, what about protection?” Shuri asked.
“Protection?”
“I don’t think you have a disease that could be transmitted sexually, but I wonder about preventing pregnancy.”
“Preventing? My Queen, that is the entire point of us lying together.”
“Wait, what? Now?”
“Yes, now.” Namor said. “The daughter of earth and fire will bear the son of air and water a child that could walk between worlds.”
“A child? I’m only twenty.”
“You are of sexual maturity for a human.”
“I am but…I’m not sure I want to be a mother yet.”
“This was our agreement. You are my Queen. There are certain responsibilities that come with that title, certain sacrifices.”
“So, it has to be now?”
“According to the prophesies, you conceive on our wedding night.” Namor said. “I do not go against prophesies.”
“Then…”
“Then?” He said lowly, dangerously.
Shuri swallowed thickly. Just when she thought marrying Namor to save Riri couldn’t be any less of a plan, he wanted to get her pregnant! Could she call this whole thing off? He only agreed to spare the student if Shuri became his queen. This would be seen as a dealbreaker and then it’ll be all out war. He would kill Riri and probably her, dragging Wakanda into a conflict with the entire ocean. Bast! Okay, just because she’s getting pregnant doesn’t mean she has to stay pregnant—morning after pill and all that. She’ll give him what he wanted and figure a way out later.
“…Neither shall I.” Shuri finished as she spread her thighs. A smile rose on Namor’s face as he gently cupped his hands under her knees, holding her open as he slides in between her thighs. He lets one of her knees go before using his finger to slide down to her entrance. She kept her legs open as he dipped his finger inside her. She bit her lip against the slight burn. He used his thumb to rub against her clitoris. Her breathing picked up as the sensation of pleasure washed over her. Namor stuck his finger into the hilt and held it there, never letting up on rubbing her button. Her moans were breathy, and her toes curled. Her mouth dropped open as Namor watched her as if he were enchanted.
“The sounds you make…” Namor said, as soft as candlelight. “You are music, you are art, you are everything.”
Shuri wanted to cover her face—flattered, but embarrassed. She had no idea how to respond to any of that, but he stuck another finger in her and she cried out—her voice repeated through the quiet dwelling. Hopefully Riri couldn’t hear that. Shuri’s not sure the student would agree with this plan. The internal validity (or weakness) of the plan to marry and breed with Namor would be if the God would even honor this agreement of not killing Riri if Shuri gave him what he wanted: her. Men have told bigger lies than this to get laid.
If he goes back on his word, I will kill him myself. A part of Shuri said. A part she barely recognized, a part that awakened in her after her brother died.
Her eyes fluttered closed as Namor kept his index and middle finger deep inside her while rubbing clit. She tangled her fingers in the fur blanket under her while using her other hand to push at his stomach, not sure what she wanted. She bit her lip and rocked her hips against his fingers, urging him to move. He took his fingers away and tucked them in his mouth. Shuri shuddered, her…down there…felt too empty and wet. Her breathing was shallow and there was a slickness on her skin that wasn’t due to humidity. She didn’t need to lie back and think of Wakanda to get through procreating with Namor. She wanted this. She was ready.
She sat up and climbed into his lap, holding herself to him by wrapping her arms around his neck. He gasped—probably at her body heat and how close her entrance was to his dick. He steadied her with his arm around her waist, keeping her flush against him, her breasts against his chest. His chuckle was deep, and it vibrated through his body like a purr.
“Never in my centuries of living have I had a maiden not be intimidated by me.”
“If you want to be intimidating, you shouldn’t wear those tiny green shorts.”
Namor laughed lowly. “You surprise me, my Queen. The lack of deference…”
“Would you like me to use deference?” Shuri asked before stealing his answer by giving him a wet kiss. He shuddered against her before they pulled apart.
“You should. I am K'uk'ulkan.” Namor said.
Shuri pulled back an inch to look into his eyes. She needed to gauge how serious he was. If she was screwing this up somehow…He looked as if he were under her own personal spell. What he wanted was an equal, after being revered all his life. He didn’t want Shuri to be afraid to look him in the eyes or hold her tongue. He wanted a queen, not a concubine. She could be that for him.
“And I was the princess of the most powerful nation in the world.” Shuri said. “Now I am queen of another. Perhaps it is you who should use deference.”
Namor answered by pressing their lips together with the intensity of a punch—well, that’s not true. Her jaw would be broken because Namor seemed like he was molded from the same vibranium he usually wore on his chest. He picked her up like she weighed as much as a feather before taking her over to the wooden table in the middle of the room. He knocked the plates of grapes and fish to the ground. The wine bottle shattered into confetti as it soaked into the cracks in the floor like blood. Shuri inwardly groaned, she wanted some of that.
Namor laid her on the table, bending over to kiss her again. Shuri’s thighs bracketed his waist, as his dick rubbed against her entrance. He sighed into her mouth as he rocked against her, never fully getting inside her. Shuri burned down there—she needed him in, so she angled her hips down. Namor stood up from her and wrapped his strong hand against the front of her neck to keep her pinned to the table. He used his other hand to grab the base of his dick and press it into Shuri. Shuri groaned as he entered her, slowly pushing into until he couldn’t anymore.
Shuri squeaked as she grasped the side of the table. She clenched her eyes shut against the burn and unbearable pleasure of being full. He was deep inside her—she could almost feel it in her stomach. She clenched around him, trying to get use to his girth. She was sticky with sweat, her lips quivered.
Namor took deep, slow breaths—as if he were trying to contain himself. It was irritating how composed he was trying to be. Always dignified. What could she do to break that composure? Shuri laid still, waiting for the raw newness of being penetrated to fade. When she became slicker, she moved her hip down causing him to slide even deeper into her.
He gasped—the mask of calmness finally slipping. He gripped the end of the table, the sturdy wood crumbling in his hand like granola. That made Shuri freeze.
“Remember,” Shuri said breathlessly. “I am not made out of stone.”
Namor chuckled before pulling out of her an inch and pushing back in, fucking her slow. His quiet, quick breaths filled up the dwelling. She clenched her toes as he picked up the pace, but not the force.
Shuri mewled and moaned, unable to stop herself. Her mouth hung open as she shut her eyes. Every time he filled her, there was fireworks behind her eyelids. It was overwhelming, nothing like the touches she gave herself before getting bored and stopping. Her breath caught as surges of pleasure shot through her. Her thighs shook.
The coarseness of the wooden table under her chafed her back. The wooden legs bluntly scrubbed against the floor with each push of Namor’s hips. He was more forceful now, knocking groans out of her. He was eerily quiet as he placed his soft hand on her stomach.
Shuri bent up slightly to thread her fingers into his hair and pull him down on top of her. His rhythm fumbled as she kissed him like she wanted to devour him. He wrapped his arms around her and lifted her hips slightly to pound into her—finally losing that cool façade. Shuri held on to his shoulders, her fingers turning to claws as cried out every time she was filled. She came, her vision whiting out as she shook, the pleasure flooded over her as her voice went high. Namor stilled inside her, holding her close to himself.
Shuri’s breathing was labored as she went limp, staring up at Namor. The flinching fire made flecks of gold on his skin. His hair was mussed from her running her fingers through it. He was so strong on top of her. She felt so tiny in the wake of him. She tapped him with her foot to get him to move. He fucked into her forcefully, obviously not hard enough to hurt her, just enough for the undercurrent of burning to arise in her. He moved quickly, using her like a toy until he stilled, coming deep inside her. His grip on her hips felt hard enough to bruise as she bit her bottom lip.
They stay there catching their breaths. Namor stayed pinned inside her, probably trying to make sure of conception. Shuri couldn’t worry about that now. Would he honor their agreement now that they’ve slept together? Now that they’re married? Was Riri safe?
Namor pulled out of her, and Shuri felt slickness seep out. His come. Yuck.
Shuri sat up at the end of the table while Namor sat on the bed. In between her thighs hurt so she had trouble closing her legs. They watch each other like a showdown. The romance movies never portrayed after sex awkwardness. What does a princess…Queen…and a God talk about? He’d seen centuries worth of treasures, rises and falls of empires, entire histories play out over and over again, but if those things weren’t on the internet or in books, Shuri didn’t know them.
“So,” Shuri began as she picked at her nail beds with her thumb. The coolness washed over her, making her realize she was completely naked. “Have sex with a God. Check.”
“You are making a list?”
“A Beyoncé concert is next.”
“Beyoncé?”
“I have so much to teach you.” Shuri said.
“And I would love to learn.” Namor said. “Come to me. I would like to lie with you.”
“I must visit Riri first. I’ve been gone hours. I need to let her know you did not cook and eat me.”
Namor chuckled before speaking. “I expect you back after.”
“Okay.” Shuri said. “About Riri…”
“I will honor my promise. If you stay with me and Wakanda becomes an ally to Talokan, the scientist lives, and there will be peace. I’m sure you’ll both be very happy here.”
Shuri hadn’t told Riri Namor expected them to both live out the rest of their days in his underworld. That couldn’t happen but she’ll take what she could get right now. At least they’re safe.
There was still the matter of him wanting to wage war on the entire surface world, but Lemonade wasn’t recorded in a day. Ideas take time to seed and grow. She was confident she could convince Namor Wakanda and Talokan could come to a peaceful solution with America and the rest of the world.
Shuri gets dressed in her bridal gown and gives Namor a deep kiss. There was still that dull ache between her legs as she was led by her new lady in waiting back to where they kept Riri.
The Talokanil woman is sprawled out on the floor, clutching a hole in her abdomen. Her eyes are shiny with tears. She’s shaking as Nakia stood over her holding a weapon.
“No.” Shuri whispers and rushes over, bending down over the woman. She tried to save her, but the woman fell limp, her eyes rolled to the back of her head. The damage was done. Nakia tells Shuri they have to leave before reinforcements arrive.
“You don’t understand! This will mean war!” Shuri needed to find Namor, to apologize to-to explain the situation. She had never seen his wrath—his anger. He didn’t seem the type to rush to judgement. Though she only had three conversations and sex with him. He looked at her as if the sun rose in her eyes. He loved her. That had to mean something, right?
Nakia and Riri drag her away and they escape. While being wrapped in the warm embrace of her mother, she knows Namor is not far behind.
Wakanda was a golden nation, the fresh wind swept through the market bringing the smell of bread, fruits, flowers, and sweets into Shuri’s lab. It was nothing like being in the dark, heart shaped tomb of Namor where the only light was silk stuck in the canopy of a cave like trapped stars. Wakanda glowed in comparison, the sunshine stretching over the blades of grass, making the world surrounding the city shine like a field of crystals. She never appreciated her home until she’s been somewhere different for a while.
Shuri watched the city from the screens in her lab and couldn’t help but to see it drowned in water. Namor was coming. Her stomach cramped with nervousness. It had been about ten hours since she’d been rescued. She’d eaten, bathed, and tried to sleep but was not successful. She’d shooed away doctors and assured her mother three times that Namor had not harmed her. Shuri hadn’t told the queen that she married or slept with him. She might never.
“Griot?”
“Yes, princess?”
“I need a body scan.” Shuri said before she laid on her table like so many other of her experiments and inventions before her. She kept her arms pinned by her side as purple lights traveled from her shoes to her forehead. A silhouette of herself appeared on a screen. There was a red circle in her uterus. Oh.
“You are pregnant.”
“What is the accuracy?”
“98%.”
“Bast.” Shuri could always wait and take an over-the-counter pregnancy test, but they were so primitive. With that, it could take weeks to know for sure.
“Should I alert the queen?”
“I cannot express how much I do not want you to do that.”
“Yes, princess.”
Shuri sat on the side of the table and rubbed her temples. She was a 21st century woman and a woman of science. Whether she considered it a child at this stage was purely academic. Moral and religious arguments aside, she was not ready to be a mother. Especially with a man whose physiology, genetics, and temperament she could only guess. She also really, really didn’t want to tell her mother she slept with Namor, and that she enjoyed it.
Shuri could create something quick and painless to terminate the pregnancy with a snap of her fingers. No one had to know. She better get to it.
Shuri’s mouth went dry and sweat collected on her skin. Her hands shook. Namor told Shuri about his mother—how she became the hope of his people as they drowned themselves to escape their oppressors. Shuri was in the same position as her-to bear a leader to bridge worlds. They were hundreds of years apart and one only existed in memory, but Shuri felt her hand guiding her.
Namor scorned the surface world and wished to see it toil in a hail of fire but marrying Shuri symbolized unity, forgiveness. So did the child she carried. Shuri was Namor’s one anchor to a world outside of the sea. The sole reason he might reconsider war with the entire world. This child could strengthen her position with him. Convince him that good still exists outside of the ocean. There can be peace.
Bast. Was she keeping this fucking baby?
“Princess! Multiple breaches into the perimeters of Wakanda!”
The waters swelled and the Talokanil crawled out of it—splashed across the screens in her lab were flashes water exploding through buildings, Wakandans heading for higher ground. Her soldiers had been warned the city could be attacked so they were ready as they headed straight to the warriors of the deep. There was a flicker in the sky-Namor.
Shuri rushed to the throne room. It’s her best guess as to where Namor was headed. She closed the door on Okoye’s face and bolted it. The throne room’s door was pure vibranium, designed to keep out all enemies, including fellow Wakandans. Now she was alone, save her mother, who watched Shuri with wide eyes.
“Shuri? What are you doing?” Queen Ramonda asked.
“Mother, no matter what happens, do not attack Namor.” Shuri said. “You need to let me handle it.”
“Are you insane? I’m not letting him anywhere near you.” Queen Ramonda said.
“Listen to me! There has to be no more bloodshed. Keep the Dora Milaje out of the throne room. I need to speak with him alone.”
“I am not leaving you.” The Queen said. “That is out of the question.”
“Fine.” Shuri said. “But you have to trust me.”
The Queen pursed her lips. For once she kept her thoughts to herself. She must’ve seen the look on Shuri’s face.
The glass of the windows shattered, sending shimmering shards of gold flying everywhere. Namor, in all his furious glory stood on the windowsill. The white sun bloomed behind him like a halo, the vibranium across his chest glittering. His eyes were lifeless and dull like a shark’s. His fist was clenched around his spear as he came toward Shuri. Her mother started to go to her—obviously to protect her from Namor but stilled when Shuri held out her palm to her.
Namor grabbed the front of Shuri’s collar, lifted her and slammed her against the wall. She coughed out a breath. Queen Ramonda gasped.
“I should never have trusted you.” Namor told her. “You will come to Talokan and answer for your crime.”
“She will do no such thing!” Queen Ramonda yelled.
“Mother! Please!” Shuri didn’t want to get her involved. This was between her and Namor. Her husband.
While Shuri didn’t kill the Talokanil woman, a member of her nation did. Shuri’s duty as princess of Wakanda was to take responsibility for her people. Namor understood this as a king himself, so it must be why he wants her and not Nakia to answer for the killing. Not that Shuri would sell Nakia out anyway.
“Namor.” Shuri began slowly. “A member of my court came to save me from you. She didn’t know about the terms of our agreement.
“Agreement? What agreement?” The queen asked.
“Mother.” Shuri said firmly. Namor glanced over at Queen Ramonda before watching Shuri again.
“You didn’t even tell her.” Namor scoffed. “How much of it was real? Between you and I? What we shared?”
They had like…three conversations and Namor acted like they were divorcing after thirty years of marriage because of her infidelity. It would be funny if he didn’t look at her like he wanted to strangle the life out of her.
“It was all real.” Shuri said. “But my people needed me, and you cannot say that if you were in my shoes, your people wouldn’t have done the same thing.”
Namor took a breath. Shuri was getting through to him. He was turning out to be a soft touch with her.
“Tell your people to stop laying siege to Wakanda and we can talk about this.”
“Why should I trust you? After all you’ve done?” Namor asked.
“Because you love me.” Shuri said. Queen Ramonda mouth dropped open. Looks like she put two and two together.
“What did you do to her, you savage?!”
“Nothing she did not want me to, Queen Mother.” Namor said but that only served to make the queen angrier. She went over to yank Namor’s hand off of Shuri, but he didn’t budge.
“Mother! Stop it! I will explain it all. We can all stay calm and talk.” Shuri said. “Tell your people to stop.”
Namor took his hand off Shuri and she dropped to the floor. He flew out of the window. Queen Ramonda rushed to Shuri’s side.
“I’m fine.” Shuri said as she stood. “You must call off our soldiers.”
“Shuri—“
“Mother, please.”
The Queen took a deep breath before speaking into her communication device. With a few words the outside became silent. Shuri’s heart pounded. Her stomach twisted and Queen Ramonda wrapped her arms around Shuri as if to protect her.
Namor came back to the window, still frowning, covered in pearls of water. Guess that short trip did nothing to cool him off. He took a step toward Shuri, but Queen Ramonda stood in front of her. His frown deepened.
Shuri went around her mother to face Namor. He stared her down.
“If you desire it, I consider our agreement still valid.” Shuri said.
“What agreement?” Queen Ramonda asked firmly.
“She was queen of Talokan for a day.” Namor said. “Now she is criminal.”
“I agreed to marry him in exchange for Riri’s safety.”
“You what?!” Queen Ramonda yelled.
“And now the marriage is void. You will come to Talokan to answer for your crime, and you will give me the scientist, or I will wash Wakanda from the face of the earth and kill her.” Namor said nodding toward the queen.
Shuri slapped him across the face. She couldn’t stop herself. He grabbed her wrist tightly and pulled her in until his breath brushed against her lips. How strange that hours ago they were this close under a completely different context? His lips were on hers, his body pressing her into the table. Now anger flooded from him to mask a deep hurt. Shuri would’ve felt guilty if it weren’t for the fact that he was making threats.
Queen Ramonda went over to them, but Namor pushed her back. Her mother fell to the floor before sitting back up. She put her communication device up to her lips.
“Don’t call for help, mother. He is not going to hurt me.”
“Are you so certain, princess?” Namor asked.
“Shuri.” There was something desperate in her mother’s voice.
“I will not give you the scientist. You will leave Wakanda standing and if you threaten my mother again, I will rip your throat out with my teeth.”
Namor chuckled humorlessly. “Princess—“
“Queen.” Shuri corrected. “Of Talokan.”
“Queen.” Namor said. “There will be a trial.”
“And the punishment if I am found guilty?” Shuri asked.
“For a queen that is the daughter of a Talokanil, she would be stripped of her title and exiled.”
“And for me? A foreign queen?”
“Death.”
“No!” Queen Ramonda screamed.
“It…does not have to be you. You can appoint an avatar in your place to bear the punishment.” Namor said. He didn’t want to kill her. That was good, but he would want someone to die in her place, which was bad.
“No one else is dying.” Shuri said. “You will forgive me.”
“Why should I?”
“Because I am the mother of your child.”
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hopeforkitten · 4 months
Text
The Warlock's Studies
Raphael teaches his Tav how to use warlock spells. tw: cuts and burns for Raphael's pleasure
1) imagine he must do it in such a way as to embarrass Tav as much as possible. he approaches him from behind, too close, the little warlock snorts in displeasure, exactly as the devil wanted. Tav is holding his new weapon, a beautiful elegant rapier, and Raphael grabs his hands in his own to guide them. One remains on the handle, the other he guides his hand along the blade. gently at first, Tav's hand tightens painfully, clamped between Raphael's hot hand and the cold blade, closer to the middle of the blade he presses harder, cutting through the soft skin, Tav hisses and his blood stains the blade.
The warlock tries to look into the devil's face, but it does not stick out over his shoulder. Even so, he sees a smile on his new master's face, he whispers a few words that Tav can't make out. The weapon they are holding flashes a bright green light for a moment, the hand is barely tickled by this light, and the blood is absorbed into the blade. Tav gets scared, almost screams, and staggers back in surprise, bumping into Raphael, who is standing so close behind her. If he hadn't been holding her right hand, she would have had a chance to fall.
The devil giggles heavily and whispers something soothing, putting Tav firmly on his feet. Raphael grabs the rapier in his hands, walks away, twirls it in an elegant move and lowers it flat into the air, hinting at the warlock to take the weapon. Tav awkwardly picks up an unusual guard, as if she hadn't used swords before.
"This is your treaty weapon. Magic does not cancel your fencing lessons, but it will definitely help you."
Raphael walks away to the table, and Tav unsuccessfully tries to repeat his technique, but the planned movement of his hand rests on the defense on the hilt and the desired feint does not work.
The girl examines her left arm and in place of a long cut there is only a thin strip of scar, as if that light had re-fused her damaged skin.
2) (I don't have a drop of pity for the hands of warlocks, although maybe not me, but the devils)
I am sure that every patron sins by this. During magic training, they first learn attacking spells, and then those that will protect the magician's hands.
After the first lesson, Tav suffered from burning burns on her palms, trying unsuccessfully to calm the pain with potions, ice and herbs. Raphael watched with pleasure these attempts, as the girl grimaced and bandaged her hands, and when trying witchcraft, a faint light lit up in her hands, but went out when tears flowed from her eyes distorted with pain.
At the beginning of the next lesson, he will carefully unwrap her hands and cure them with water from the restoring tap.
+10 points if you stroke Tawa's hands in parallel
+20 points if you unwrap them terribly slowly, pulling off the bandage that stuck overnight and listening to the painful moans of Tav.
+100 points if you kiss the little hands of your warlock after such a departure.
Raphael scored 130 points, congratulations on another victory!
3) there is already something like soft here.
Raphael teaches Tav to hit with warlock spells. Not in the usual way. They are standing on the balcony, and Raphael throws coins from him that could go to Tav's salary. Until she learns to consistently hit three coins thrown, she will not have the money to live on her own.
If we want to push Tav even harder, then we can tease him with a soul coin.
"You don't want this soul to disappear just like that, do you? Work better and this coin will stay on the table, and not go into the abyss averno"
When Tav becomes a smart girl, the purse with money will not go into the abyss, but into her hands. She will happily go to the city, rent a room in a flophouse, but at night she will realize that she definitely does not like it there. The smell is clearly not roses, the neighbors are snoring, there is no mattress, the sheets are not silk, there is no enveloping and habitual heat averno. Tav will try to fall asleep, and then stealthily grab a bag of things and go look for a secluded place to cast a teleportation spell.
The girl returned to the house of hope, like a mouse, crept along the corridors to the bedroom, and climbed into the usual place under the wing of Raphael.
beautiful pictures yes
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whisperthatruns · 11 months
Text
The Myth of Innocence
One summer she goes into the field as usual stopping for a bit at the pool where she often looks at herself, to see if she detects any changes. She sees the same person, the horrible mantle of daughterliness still clinging to her. The sun seems, in the water, very close. That's my uncle spying again, she thinks— everything in nature is in some way her relative. I am never alone, she thinks, turning the thought into a prayer. Then death appears, like the answer to a prayer. No one understands anymore how beautiful he was. But Persephone remembers. Also that he embraced her, right there, with her uncle watching. She remembers sunlight flashing on his bare arms. This is the last moment she remembers clearly. Then the dark god bore her away. She also remembers, less clearly, the chilling insight that from this moment she couldn't live without him again. The girl who disappears from the pool will never return. A woman will return, looking for the girl she was. She stands by the pool saying, from time to time, I was abducted, but it sounds wrong to her, nothing like what she felt. Then she says, I was not abducted. Then she says, I offered myself, I wanted to escape my body. Even, sometimes, I willed this. But ignorance cannot will knowledge. Ignorance wills something imagined, which it believes exists. All the different nouns— she says them in rotation. Death, husband, god, stranger. Everything sounds so simple, so conventional. I must have been, she thinks, a simple girl. She can't remember herself as that person but she keeps thinking the pool will remember and explain to her the meaning of her prayer so she can understand whether it was answered or not.
Louise Glück, Averno (Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 2006)
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asinglesock · 1 year
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what from the poem is relevant to Jeremiah? please i must know
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Louise Glück, from “Blue Rotunda”, Averno
Copying the text above for context.
Thank you for asking! (watch out. dangerous levels of interest.)
One thing we're talking about in my Jeremiah class is that the book of Jeremiah is a piece of trauma literature. Depending on your view of scripture you can be more or less set on the authorship of the book--you can definitely make a case that Jeremiah was a real person with real prophecies about the Babylonian conquest before it happened, but often historical-critical perspectives will use knowledge of historical events inside a text as evidence that it was written (or revised to its current form) after that event took place. And Jeremiah has. uhh. a lot of that.
But even from a literalist perspective there's lots of evidence that the book of Jeremiah was gradually compiled over time. For example, in chapter 36 there's a narrative of YHWH telling Jeremiah to write, Jeremiah telling Baruch what to write, Baruch spreading the message to the public & to officials, and Jehoiakim getting his hand on the scroll to destroy it bit by bit as he reads because he views it as a political threat. After the scroll is destroyed, Jeremiah and Baruch get right back to work and "many similar words were added" (36:32). The earlier draft is destroyed but a new version, with some new content, is created. (I LOVE when there's a text about the creation of the text.)
There's also that lots of bits seem to be out of order--we go from oracle to wisdom saying to narrative to oracle again to narrative from later to narrative from earlier and it's not always clear why. Sometimes things are grouped for thematic reasons instead of being ordered chronologically. There was a redactional tradition in the generations after the first pieces were written--a generation that lived, as the remnant in Judea or as exiles in Babylon. Either way, the editors of Jeremiah lived through the trauma of the Babylonian conquest.
Why does it matter that they lived through the conquest? The Babylonian conquest could potentially overturn all the assumptions a believer in YHWH might have about YHWH establishing the throne of David and defeating all of Judah's enemies. It's theodicy: if God is on my side, why are bad things happening to me? One pretty straightforward explanation could be that YHWH is not as powerful as the gods of Babylon, and that the Jewish population ought to assimilate and worship these gods instead. But instead, the book of Jeremiah argues that YHWH was always supporting the Babylonian conquest, because it was to punish the people of Israel and Judah for breaking their covenant with him. Weirdly enough, this makes Jeremiah's insistance that the people should not fight back into a text of resistance (against the eradication of the people, but also against assimilation).
Here's where the self-blame comes in. If Judah broke the covenant with YHWH, then YHWH never abandoned them. He was punishing them, according to the terms of their covenant, and ultimately would always bring them back to prosperity and wellbeing. (This is the context of Jer 29:11's statement "I know the plans I have for you...")
So the Jewish communities in exile ought to prioritize keeping their people alive and well, and also keep their ethnic & religious identity intact since YHWH still cares about them. Now the problem is something they can control--not that they're a tiny little nation dangerously placed between big, hungry empires--but that they as a people need to wholeheartedly worship YHWH and live justly in their communities.
God is still powerful, God still likes them, and the only problem is something they can address in their behavior. It's a great solution.
It's great that this narrative helped sustain Jeremiah's community through a trauma with effects that are still felt today, but we should be aware of this context when we read the harsh rhetoric against the people of Judah. It's coming from within, and it's coming from people who blame themselves for what happened to them. Taken out of context, this rhetoric can turn into victim-blaming pretty easily, and I'm sure that it has been historically used in antisemetic ways. If it's in the victim's power to fix things and things don't get fixed, doesn't that mean it must be the victim's fault?
I've seen this kind of victim blaming in Christian faith healing contexts. I think praying for people who are injured or sick can be an act of love, but when you have absolute faith that God not only can but will heal someone unless they lack faith, suddenly it becomes the fault of the injured/sick/disabled person when they are not miraculously healed. That is not love. So I can really see the appeal of framing something as your own fault, because you can change your own behaviors and expect a different result. But it can be a dangerous line of thought, because you risk perpetuating self-hatred if/when things are out of your control.
Personally, when I read Jeremiah and other biblical texts through this trauma lens (a lot of Hebrew Bible was put in writing or revised into recognizable forms around this period) it makes me feel more inclined to look at the people of Israel and Judah with more sympathy. They weren't uniquely wicked so much as they were self-critical.
Here's a source on trauma in Jeremiah that I'm using for my research project:
Claassens, L Juliana M. “Preaching the Pentateuch: Reading Jeremiah’s Sermons through the Lens of Cultural Trauma.” Scriptura 116, no. 2 (2017): 27–37. doi:10.7833/116-2-1313.
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abellinthecupboard · 1 year
Text
A Myth of Innocence
One summer she goes into the field as usual stopping for a bit at the pool where she often looks at herself, to see if she detects any changes. She sees the same person, the horrible mantle of daughterliness still clinging to her. The sun seems, in the water, very close. That's my uncle spying again, she thinks— everything in nature is in some way her relative. I am never alone, she thinks, turning the thought into a prayer. Then death appears, like the answer to a prayer. No one understands anymore how beautiful he was. But Persephone remembers. Also that he embraced her, right there, with her uncle watching. She remembers sunlight flashing on his bare arms. This is the last moment she remembers clearly. Then the dark god bore her away. She also remembers, less clearly, the chilling insight that from this moment she couldn't live without him again. The girl who disappears from the pool will never return. A woman will return, looking for the girl she was. She stands by the pool saying, from time to time, I was abducted, but it sounds wrong to her, nothing like what she felt. Then she says, I was not abducted. Then she says, I offered myself, I wanted to escape my body. Even, sometimes, I willed this. But ignorance cannot will knowledge. Ignorance wills something imagined, which it believes exists. All the different nouns— she says them in rotation. Death, husband, god, stranger. Everything sounds so simple, so conventional. I must have been, she thinks, a simple girl. She can't remember herself as that person but she keeps thinking the pool will remember and explain to her the meaning of her prayer so she can understand whether it was answered or not.
— Louise Glück, Averno (2006)
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vandroid-helsing · 1 year
Text
Best of 2022
as always, this is stuff I loved in 2022, not necessarily stuff that came out in 2022 (in fact, it's mostly not!). and there'll be a more detailed post on Patreon.
BOOKS & COMICS
Squire, Sara Alfageeh & Nadia Shammas
The Argonautika, Apollonius of Rhodes trans. Peter Green
Scout Is Not A Band Kid, Jade Armstrong
Bestiary Dark, Marianne Boruch
Antigonick, Anne Carson/Sophocles
Flint and Mirror, John Crowley
Devil House, John Darnielle
Universal Harvester, John Darnielle
Vita Nostra, Marina Dyachenko
The Hatch, Joe Fletcher
Averno, Louise Glück
Job: A New Verse Translation, Edward L. Greenstein
The Thin Man, Dashiell Hammett
Heretics of Dune, Frank Herbert 
Iliad, Homer trans. Caroline Alexander 
Skin Folk, Nalo Hopkinson
Uzumaki, Junji Ito
Moon Witch, Spider King, Marlon James 
Footnotes in the Order of Disappearance, Fady Joudah
Ulysses, James Joyce
Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy, John le Carré
A Desolation Called Peace, Arkady Martine
Salt Fat Acid Heat, Samin Nosrat
The Bull from the Sea, Mary Renault
The Persian Boy, Mary Renault 
Normal People, Sally Rooney
Grief Sequence, Prageeta Sharma
A Frog in the Fall, Linnea Sterte 
Laura Dean Keeps Breaking Up With Me, Mariko Tamaki and Rosemary Valero-O’Connell
A Secret Vice, JRR Tolkien ed. Dimitra Fimi
MOVIES
Loser, Urzila Carlson
Everything Everywhere All At Once, Daniels 
Saint Maud, Rose Glass
Promare, Hiroyuki Imaishi
My Neighbor Totoro, Hayao Miyazaki
Withnail & I, Bruce Robinson
Jenny Slate: Stage Fright, Gillian Robinson
Demon Slayer, Haruo Sotozaki
Stalker, Andrei Tarkovsky
Sk8 the Infinity, Hiroko Utumi
Barbarella, Roger Vadim
MUSIC
The Dream, alt-J
Renaissance, Beyoncé 
Hounds of Love, Kate Bush
“Lakes of Canada,” The Innocence Mission
The Loneliest Time, Carly Rae Jepsen
Dance Fever, Florence + the Machine
Mashrou' Leila, just like, in general
“Children of Light II”, Meg Myers
Leak 04-13, Jai Paul
Scheherazade, Nikolai Rimsky-Korsakov
Rostam & Sohrab, Loris Tjeknavorian
MISCELLANEOUS
Getting an agent
Homemade baba ghanoush 
Seeing Drawfee live
Attending Tristan und Isolde
The work of Salman Toor
Guesting on The Spouter-inn
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misseyres · 10 months
Note
Have you been reading or listening to anything good lately? If so would you spare some recommendations? 💕
dear aubs hello!! so lovely to see you on my dash again!
listening: self-healers soundboard; the ezra klein show; jaguar sun; sarah kinsely; HARBOUR; matt maeson (a beloved!); the national (& matt berninger’s solo album); raffaela; mt. joy; andrew montana, taylor swift
current playlist
reading: absolutely loving how to hide an empire: a history of the greater united states. also been reading natalie diaz (when my brother was an aztec), louise glück (averno), anne carson (eros the bittersweet, also revisiting glass irony & god). monsters: a fan’s dilemma is a++, first book in a while that’s lived up to expectations. all down darkness wide, warlight, and say nothing are some other standouts from this year! on the lighter side, recently read howl’s moving castle trilogy; happy place; the enigma of room 622 (a meta mystery that was SO FUN), daisy jones & the six (TSHOEH was better imo).
psa i am on goodreads for anyone interested, i like new friends :)
watching: 45 rpm, the miami showband massacre, abbot elementary, witcher s3, say yes to the dress: england (SO WHOLESOME!!!), ted lasso s3, idk i don’t watch much tv rn!
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t0rschlusspan1k · 3 months
Text
It is terrible to be alone. I don’t mean to live alone — to be alone, where no one hears you.
Louise Glück, from Averno, “Averno”
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hlcynsouls · 1 year
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muse for  descencus averno .  morgan : the wheel of fortune .  reaper ;  booboo stewart .
STATS .
( taken ) name :  morgan . “birth”day : december 15  ( ageless ,  looks to be early 20s ) . nationality : n.a. species :  reaper . gender : agender . pronouns :  he / him ;  they / them . orientation :  bisexual & biromantic . religion :  unnecessary . moral alignment :  true neutral . occupation :  student assistant at columbia university libraries  ( butler building ,  rare books & manuscripts ) ,  part time . location :  shared flats .  all of them .  they appear wherever whenever they need something ,  and shared flats are good places where no one bats an eye at things going missing or random  ‘ friends ’  staying on the couch .  ( and if ,  well ,  that belief is adjusted easily enough . )
BIO .
THEY HAVE ALWAYS  worked on the premise that life is a circle ,  not a straight line .  of course it might seem that way from a mortal’s perspective  —  you’re born ,  you live ,  you die ,  bob’s your uncle .  god only  knew what came after ;  m certainly didn’t .  presumably ,  they must’ve done the same sprint at some point ,  but they can’t remember and honestly don’t care to .  you’re born ,  you live ,  you die  —  somebody else is born and lives and dies in that place  —  over and over .  ‘ round we go .  it’s the one principle of the world ;  what keeps it turning ,  actually ,  m is sure .
HISTORY  is fascinating ,  from that point of view .  m rarely gets involved ;  even in their  ‘ downtime ’  they prefer to observe ,  though some creatures tickle their fancy enough to step into action .  they’ve become  magnus  in the 1620s and  marianne  for some time in the 18th century ,  from their more memorable personas ;  mateo and mai and mona were too brief to be properly remembered .  they picked their names like coats and discarded them just as easily when the fabric’s worn out and it’s time to move on .
THAT MENTALITY  is what makes them so good at their job ;  things are what they are ,  and when someone’s time is up ,  it’s up .  ( and  ‘ round we go . )  they get curious ,  and compassionate ,  and every few decades maybe even  caring ,  but that doesn’t keep the world from turning .  ( not often ,  at least .  who’ll notice one or two stops that last barely half a second? )  when it counts  —  which is always ,  of course ,  almost  always  —  they go by the book , and have done so for  ...  millennia ,  probably .  who knows ?
BUT SOMEHOW ,  it seems that the world has started spinning faster .  there’s so much more to do ,  and  —  it’s not like they haven’t seen their share of atrocities over the years ,  but  ...  you’d think it’d get better ,  not worse .  but every time  one  way of death is eradicated ,  it seems humans invent three more in it’s place just to spite them .  there’s no more time for  observation ;  barely anything  worth  of it anyways .  for the first time in their entire existence ,  they feel  ...  exhausted .
IT SUCKS .
EVEN THE HUMANS  get sick leave  —  burn out ,  is it ?  they read a few articles ,  talk to a therapist ,  and decide to go on  holiday .  they’ve certainly earned it ,  although that’s easier said than done .  after all ,  being a reaper is not just a job ,  it’s a  calling  —  in the most literal sense ,  it seems .  how is anyone supposed to  relax  with this constant pull in their chest ?
THE CLOSEST THEY CAN GET  to turning off their phone is  —  repressing it .  the  tugging ,  the magic ,  half of their being ;  everything .  it takes a few decades  ( he mostly spends it on a farm ,  in some mountains somewhere ,  with a kind old lady who raps him on the head with a rolled up paper and calls him  ‘ e stießel ’  whenever he annoys her a bit too much  )  but eventually ,  most of his existence is pretty quiet .  vacation is nice ,  he decides .
AS THINGS USUALLY GO ,  everything turns bottom’s up right about then .  there’s a massive shift in the world and a whole bunch of presences that he was  decidedly  not aware of anymore go missing .  not his problem ,  though .  on  his  end of the world ,  things keep going ,  so nothing could have gone  that  badly ,  right ?
( wrong . )
CURRENT SITUATION
THE SECOND SHIFT  really kicks their worry into action ;  the universe feels realigned ,  but odd  —  like something was put together wrong ,  was  missing .  the change appears to originate from new york ,  so they decide to go to investigate .  just briefly ,  to see what’s up .  ( they’ve got a couple decades left on their vacation ,  they’d say . )
THEIR SKILLS  may be a bit rusty ,  by then ,  and they haven’t been to the city in quite some time  —  a lot has changed .  he really can’t be blamed for missing the beat a bit ,  landing in the middle of the street ,  and promptly getting run-over by a taxi .  the injuries are superficial  ( though kind passers-by insist on calling him an ambulance anyways ) ,  but his  ( possibly a little deranged )  laughter at the irony of the situation is likely what makes the emt’s decide to suggest keeping him in the hospital for a bit .
A NEW IDENTITY  is forged easily .  in the confusing aftermath of the accident ,  they come up with  ‘ umm ... morgan ’  at the spot ,  and go from there with the hospital survey .  he can look for a proper place to live later  —  for now ,  couch-surfing serves his needs just fine ;  he’s learning a lot about modern trends .  he looks to be in his early 20s ,  so being a student assistant somewhere  —  the library ,  for nostalgic reasons  —  seems like a believable idea .  and a good position to find out just  what the hell  has been going on in this here state ,  recently .
CONNECTION / PLOT IDEAS .
RUIN :  the past come back to haunt him in some shape or other .  definitely open to varying types of connections for this  —  maybe someone he helped to soothe in their last moments ?  or someone who regretted going with them ,  given where their death had lead them after ?  maybe a psychic-adept loved one of a person he reaped ,  recognizing him from the moment of death ?
COME BACK ALIVE :  someone he should have taken but didn’t .  or maybe did ,  and brought them back . it would have been a slow death ,  with a few close calls ,  that had him hovering on stand-by a lot ?  with just how bad it got ,  the person would’ve been able to see him and they’d have quite a few  ‘ last ’  conversations ,  and eventually ,  he started caring  ( even though he shouldn’t ) .  he has a love for human potential and this one seemed ... bright .  so he gave them another shot ;  a once-in-a-million-years moment of mercy .  he would’ve checked in on their life every once in a while and they’d have stayed close friends .
LANDSLIDE :  people they met in the process of considering or during their  ‘ vacation ’ .  random people they bugged for opinions in cafés and supermarkets and other heavily-frequented human places whom he can proudly tell he took their advice ;  people he came into contact with in the farm’s rural town or some brief travels .
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hopeforkitten · 4 months
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Mizora talks to Tav the warlock, who has lost the mercy of Raphael. kind of like a continuation of that
Tav had already joined the atmosphere of the trip when the almost defeated Hag shouted "As a follower of the devil, have mercy on me!" Another lump in Tav's throat appeared when the witch gave away a lock of her hair and mentioned her smell and that the master would obviously like that she had become stronger.
Tav looked condescendingly at Mayrina with the animated corpse of her husband. "It's better to turn to the devil with such requests," a thought flashed through her head. Mayrina would have remained in debt, but she would have lived her life with love, or if the devil had taken her child, he would have raised him to be a first-class assistant, and Hag would have simply eaten him.
Tav sent her companions ahead to the camp, while she lingered in front of the tea house. She knew that the illusion around her hid a terrible quagmire, but she did not want to give up this illusion, not when her sun was so bright and warm.
There was a sharp lack of warmth in her life. A few days without Averno and the girl feels weakness and sore throat, the first signs of the disease. But what is missing more warmth, body or spirit?
The spirit longs for another warmth, for love and care, attention, banter.
How is Haarlep? She promised to be back soon and she has never been away for so long. How is Korilla forced to cope alone? How is Raphael?.. Raphael was what she needed.
Tav is sitting in a green clearing in the sun, hugging his knees. The bright light blinds her eyes and she does not immediately understand what kind of dark spot is in front of her.
"Oh, my puppy is no longer here, what a pity"
The purple spot took on the features of Mizora, she blocked the light with her wings and pretended to press her finger to her lips.
"But how lucky that you're here,"
The finger came off his lips and briefly pointed at Tav
"How lucky that someone else's puppy is here? Or will all creatures of evil already call me the devil's whore?"
"What rude words, pet. Get up,"
Tav stopped staring up at her and shook herself off and stood up.
"Let me decorate the landscape,"
Mizora waved her hand, darkened by magic, and the Witch's illusion fell away. Now the girl and the she-devil were standing on a burnt-out gray path surrounded by a quagmire.
"That's better," Mizora smiled. Tav looked around wistfully, missing the sun.
"Well, well, little warlock, did you like the local landscapes so much?"
Tav did not want to answer.
"You know, having an affair with a patron is so convenient and obvious in fact, maybe you will give such advice to Will."
Tav has known Mizora for a long time. Previously, they had not communicated alone. The devil turned out to be extremely talkative.
"Maybe you can give him some tips on how to take care of a new accessory on his head, it will pass for flirting."
Tav joked, remembering Will's new look. It really suited him, and the shape of the horns is comfortable, he still has a chance to freely pass through doorways."It's very funny, but I want to be taken care of."
"It seems to me that Will's affair with you will not protect him much from Zariel's whims. It doesn't help me either," Tav ends sadly.
"Come on, sweetheart, you're such a great couple. I do not know why Raphael is so mad at you now, but I do know exactly why he brought you to the ball then. He was bragging about you sincerely." Mizora whispered these words in Tav's ear like the sweetest poison
Oh, that ball, a weird formal event at the Averno citadel. The devils clearly knew its purpose, for humans it was a strange farce. A few hours of empty conversations among devils of all stripes and their guests.
"Many devils bring their warlock with them, but obviously not as an ornament for themselves."
Raphael has chosen a pair of luxurious outfits for the two of you. He didn't let you go all evening, you were one wonderful ensemble. You were his calling card, which is ready to disarm the interlocutor. Say hello, ask a question about the latest business when you first see this devil.
"You probably had a sore left side from his constant half hugs. Or maybe his claws had made a hole in the dress? And then you disappeared somewhere else, I wonder what you were doing..."
"Obviously, this is not what you think"
Rafael took her to a large balcony where no one would see them. Even if there was music playing at the party, the devils would be dancing. However, Raphael's theatricality required an exit, and they performed with him literally a couple of elements of the waltz.
Tav smiled at the memory of how he had praised her, how he had let her head rest on his chest before they returned to the others. He promised that he would definitely take her to such events many more times...
"Is it that bad, cutie?" Mizora was grinning.
"Devil, what do you want?"
"I'm having a friendly conversation, nothing more. You know, try making lemonade out of lemons. Look around, Will and Karlach also have all the hellish features, except for the wings of course."
"This is the worst sentence I've heard from the devil, Mizora"
"If you want changes, change the big red man to a pale young man? Astarion is very charming, you want to take a bite out of him. If he hasn't done it about you yet."
"What interest do you have? Could this affect my master's interests?" Tav frowns incredulously
"The powerful of this world are playing a global show the way they need to, I just want to sweeten this local school amateur activity, no more"
The devil walked back and forth a little, reasoning
"My entertainment now is your team, do not get discouraged, spoil the picture," Mizora said with some disdain and hiding in a cocoon of wings disappeared, leaving Tav alone
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loosejournal · 1 year
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The Myth of Innocence by Louise Glück
One summer she goes into the field as usual stopping for a bit at the pool where she often looks at herself, to see if she detects any changes. She sees the same person, the horrible mantle of daughterliness still clinging to her.
The sun seems, in the water, very close. That's my uncle spying again, she thinks— everything in nature is in some way her relative. I am never alone, she thinks, turning the thought into a prayer. Then death appears, like the answer to a prayer.
No one understands anymore how beautiful he was. But Persephone remembers. Also that he embraced her, right there, with her uncle watching. She remembers sunlight flashing on his bare arms.
This is the last moment she remembers clearly. Then the dark god bore her away.
She also remembers, less clearly, the chilling insight that from this moment she couldn't live without him again.
The girl who disappears from the pool will never return. A woman will return, looking for the girl she was.
She stands by the pool saying, from time to time, I was abducted, but it sounds wrong to her, nothing like what she felt. Then she says, I was not abducted. Then she says, I offered myself, I wanted to escape my body. Even, sometimes, I willed this. But ignorance
cannot will knowledge. Ignorance wills something imagined, which it believes exists.
All the different nouns— she says them in rotation. Death, husband, god, stranger. Everything sounds so simple, so conventional. I must have been, she thinks, a simple girl.
She can't remember herself as that person but she keeps thinking the pool will remember and explain to her the meaning of her prayer so she can understand whether it was answered or not.
from Averno, 2006
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