#literally. going bananas about this. the book and the music

[gigantomachylesbian]

Into the Drowning Deep is now one of my favorite books but more importantly I got the to the author’s note and Seanan McQuire says she listened to a lot of Cake Bake Betty while writing it so now I’m even more obsessed 

#k talks #literally. going bananas about this. the book and the music #k reads

[vidavalor]

Banana. Fruit. Plant. Food. Sustains life for animals and humans alike. "And what are they putting in bananas these days?!" First of Aziraphale's magic words. Symbolic of plant life on Earth.

Fish. The ocean. Oysters. Sushi. "Why do you eat *that*?"/"It's what humans do." "Bouilla...bouilla...bouilla... baby... fish stew. Anyway!" Symbolic of marine life on Earth. Love. Sex. He probably wins prizes for his tropical fish.

Gorilla. Also: Go-RILL-a, if you're Mr. Harmony. Animals. Ancient ancestors of humanity. Big fans of bananas; do not typically eat fish. (Rill. A small stream. Carries fish. Represents water, necessary to all life on Earth.) Gorillas represent the animal kingdom, the connection between animals and humans, and the interdependency of Earth's ecosystem. Earth is a balance of banana (plant life), fish (marine life), gorilla (animal life) and...

Shoelace. Humanity. First word in the sequence of Aziraphale's magic words that isn't a type of living thing but is, instead, an invention of the living thing it represents. Humanity is defined in Aziraphale's magic words by its bipedalism and its innovation-- by its ability to create, develop and use tools to improve its existence... but then also by their ability to keep refining, to keep trying, to keep progressing. Humans walk on two legs and created tools and created shoes to support that endeavor and then the shoelace to make the shoes better. Have you found the missing antichrist's name, age and shoe size yet? Humans walk-- they go ever forward, even if they sometimes go backwards. They are defined by their creativity and imagination and the determination to keep progressing. They create art and so they get a word full of symbolism because of their ability to make art and seek meaning and ask questions. Aziraphale loves them so.

(with a) Dash of Nutmeg. Civilization and evolution. Nutmeg comes from the nutmeg tree, in a full circle back to plant life. Dash of nutmeg is then the world created by these creative shoelaces. An ever-growing and changing world, full of refinement of and appreciation for life on Earth. A dash of nutmeg is learning and experimentation. Figuring out the right amount. Just a dash of nutmeg can change the whole taste of a dish and bring it to the next level. No nutmeg in a dish that needs it-- or too much? Not the same. No almond syrup where it's needed-- or too much? Not the same, maybe even a bit dangerous. To know that is to learn it... and to learn it is to either experiment yourself and/or to learn from the experience of humans. Aziraphale's love of being a student of humanity through the ages. Reading their books, absorbing their music and theatre. Letting them teach him French and magic and about food and love. A dash of nutmeg is literally the spice of life. To eat the right dish with just a dash of nutmeg is to experience the joy of life on Earth-- to experience pleasure from consuming the fruits of the Earth. It's living. It's to eat life alive.

A hefty jigger. Doesn't exist. A jigger is precise, is quantifiable; a dash is a flick of the wrist and is less precise, more improvisational, just enough. You cannot have a hefty jigger. You can, though, always have a dash. See: nutmeg. See: almond syrup, as Nina pours into Aziraphale's coffee usual coffee order, as ordered by The Metatron. If you say 'dash' when you order in the shop but 'hefty jigger' when you deliver to your mark, you're wanting to look like a savvy, old man to the barista to get the order right... but you're intentionally attempting to look clueless to Aziraphale, to make him think he'll be needed to help you navigate humanity. It means you do know how to order coffee but you are pretending you do not to the person you are trying to manipulate. It means you're a liar.

A jigger is measured by shots. By the shot is one way you can order coffee. Coffee is freedom. Give me coffee or give me death. Give me liberty or give me death. Does anybody ever ask for death? Some wise-cracking asshole has to ask Nina for it at least once a week but she says no when The Metatron asks because no one ever *really* asks for death. Not seriously. Not as anything but a joke. They all ask for their beverage of choice. They all ask for freedom or comfort or pleasure or all of the above. Wanting to live is predictable to our villain but it's understandable to the rest of us. Living on this magical Earth can be a lot at times but it also is the most amazing thing imaginable.

No one knows that better than Crowley, who spans the gamut of coffee orders (among other beverages). Dessert coffee-- espresso, cream, maybe some alcohol-- in a small, Irish-coffee-style mug in 1.01 during a lazy afternoon lunch but also, on a stressful morning, this...

Mr. Six Shots of Espresso in a Big Cup. Crowley. But only sometimes. And not really. Not when we know him better than Nina does. Not when we've seen him twice order his symbolic liberty at a slower pace and cut it with some sweetness along the way. Not when The Bentley in S2 showed us that he drives fast, he pounds espresso, and it's all anxiety. Mr. Six Shots of Espresso in a Big Cup really wants to drive 52 miles an hour, per The Bentley, and slowly sip half a fluffy dessert coffee at lunch at The Ritz with Aziraphale. Crowley wants everyone to see him as Mr. Six Shots of Espresso in a Big Cup but he's not. He's...

Crowley. Bildad the Shuite.

Bildad. Means, quite literally, "old friend," as Sitis' mind translated upon his request. Aziraphale's oldest friend. Humanity's oldest friend. Also means "loved by the Lord." He's And the Voice of Frances McDormand's favorite, if only They'd put him out of his misery and share that. the Shuite. Means, as Michael points out, "from the land of Shua" but Michael doesn't really fully get it. It is not where you are from; it is not what kind of species you are. It is not what you "are", whatever that even is. Heaven, Hell, angels, demons, it's all... pointless, as Crowley tells Shax in 2.01. Bildad does not define Shuite as a place-related name; he does not define humanity as tied to beings of a specific region or to a species, even, really. Humanity is not the exclusive domain of people of any one race or ethnicity or religion or species. Being a Shuite isn't where you're from or if you are human only or if you have a human corporation but others call you an angel or a demon... Bildad defines Shuite as what you do or what you are learning how to do. He defines being a Shuite as how you're interacting with the world on Earth and how you are spending your days. Being a Shuite is something you *do* and freedom is the choice of what that is, which some unfortunately have more than others. What does Bildad *do* then, as *the* Shuite?

Bildad the Shuite. Professional midwife/cobbler. The demon who delivered humanity from The Garden of Eden, and who now lives among them, working hard as a professional shoemaker, helping them forward and letting them teach him just as much.

A shoelace. A human.

And like the rest of us, he's making this shit up as he goes. Nothing more human than that, really.

Banana, fish, gorilla, shoelace, with a dash of nutmeg. Aziraphale's magic words. His mantra. The only full prayer we've ever really heard him say. His history of Earth as he's observed and lived it with Bildad the Shuite for thousands of years. The words mostly work when he needs them to but sometimes they fail and that's okay. As a certain angel excited to be on Earth once said while pretending to be a human in the bookshop, the error they made just then proved they were human. It did, indeed, even if Muriel doesn't quite yet understand just how human they are.

Nazis. Fascist motherfuckers who seek to suppress free thought and oppress others through dehumanizing violence. Can be expert lip readers. Can be multilingual. Can understand language on a technical, surface level that makes their inability to understand context very darkly funny. I am played for a sucker. You are played for a sucker. He, she, it are played for suckers... Dangerous as all hell in their willful ignorance, their lack of critical thinking and their complete lack of empathy.

Zombies. Those who are asleep to their surroundings. Those who do not seek to understand context and dive for deeper meaning. Those who do not engage with art (and, if they're Nazis, those who seek to suppress it.) Those who are full of apathy. Those who do not question. Those who think like how others tell them to think. Those who are content with surface understanding, not deeper meaning.

Flesheaters. Zombies-- in the horror movie sense. Those with a bloodlust for brains. Those who murder with impunity to satisfy a violent, dark hunger. Those with dark impulses that harm others; the polar opposites of hungering for pleasure from food, art, sex, love, companionship. The thematic opposites of Crowley and Aziraphale.

Nazi Zombie Flesheaters. Fraulein Greta Kleinschmidt, Mr. Harmony and Mr. Glozier. Multilingual members of the Nazi Party, one of whom is an expert lip reader. They are zombies, as shown by how they lack the imagination, intellectual curiosity, critical thinking skills, and creativity to be able to decode the deeper meaning of the surface words they read and recite correctly but do not actually comprehend. They do not seek to understand how a creative magic trick is being performed before their eyes because they fail to even notice that one is, even when presented with an abundance of contextual clues. They're also, in their cases, flesheaters. They roam around London eating innocent, free-thinking brains-- quite literally suppressing thought. In The Blitz, Part 1, they were already Nazi Zombies. In The Blitz, Part 2, they become the Nazi Zombie Flesheaters.

Jiggery-pokery. Cutesy-sounding British phrase with a darker origin. Means 'trickery'. Means 'deceit'. Not in an innocent way, like the sleight of hand deception of a magic show... or the sleight-of-hand tricks played by writers and performers on a television show with recurring motifs around spies and magic and wordplay and hidden romance and a whole secret language imbedded in its dialogue. Origin of jiggery-pokery: British Army, mid-1800s. Used to refer to homosexual sex acts, then illegal, amongst soldiers in its ranks when targeting them. Evolved a bit in modern times to a lighter-sounding term meaning cute trickery but still equally refers in definition to gay sex, conducted in secret, and by those who are then threatened with exposure by other soldiers who feel homosexuality goes against the morals of the unit. Used onstage by The Marvelous Mr. Fell to describe his complicated relationship with human magic, which metaphorical for his own humanity, in contrast with his role as one of God's soldiers, a moment before his partner gets on stage to perform some of that humanity with him. It is not performative, though, because humanity is not exclusive to humans; humanity is to be a Shuite and love is love. In the audience: a soldier from Bildad's unit and the Nazi Zombie Flesheaters, working in tandem to out Crowley and Aziraphale for what is, to Furfur and the Nazis, supernatural and actual jiggery-pokery.

Three cowry shells and a lone caraway seed. A sleight of hand magic trick, used by writers to point out multiple layers of meaning and a request of the audience to engage with the story and find the seed beneath the layers. A sleight hand of magic trick, used by The Marvelous Mr. Fell thousands of years prior in his exploration of human magic. He fooled ancient Egyptian Queen Nefertiti with the trick. He masks the lone caraway seed successfully beneath a different cowry shell than the one the humans watching him think it is hidden beneath. He hides one meaning beneath another. He hides his self-deemed jiggery-pokery humanity beneath what Heaven suspects of him as an angel.

My Nefertiti-fooling fellow. What The Marvelous Mr. Fell's love, Bildad the Shuite, calls him to he remind him that his humanity is not jiggery-pokery. His magical man, who is also kind of terrible at the actual human magic part, but is so very good at the human magic part, and what could be more human than that?

Dummkopf. What Greta calls Harmony, after he successfully reads Aziraphale's magic words but she interprets them as nonsense words... despite them all seeing through the windows Aziraphale moving in such a way as to suggest he is performing a magic trick, suggesting a potential context for the words. None of these three have what the creative minds involved in Good Omens know their audience does have, which is the curiosity and love of story enough to look for context and meaning. 'Dummkopf': German for 'dumbass'.

#ineffable husbands #good omens #crowley #aziraphale #good omens 2 #good omens meta #aziracrow

[toubledrouble]

In the honor of my uranium post, here are more things my chemistry teacher has said and done:

Explained that actually electro cars are stupidly unecological because they use lithium batteries - creating them ruins the environment and we have no clue how to get rid of them

Microplastics in our blood are his favourite topic

Artificially supplied hormones and how they get from our bodies through the sewer systems to water (we can't filter them) where they mess up fish and make them gay (then the fish die) and then apparently make people gay. Somehow. He didn't elaborate because he was too busy with calculating how many gay people should statistically be in our class (it was like 3.5 btw)

Keeps bringing up how he supports gay people because there isn't enough love in the world ("but you at the last desk please do whatever you're doing at home, this is a chemistry class")

Explained how his hearing and sight work - apparently, now he can't enjoy much music because his hearing makes them sound out of tune

Talked about their fave kdramas with my friend

So many 'fun' stories from his past jobs (like when one of his university students committed suicide by poisoning himself with something they were working with in the middle of his class. Out of unrequited love. It was a very dangerous solution or something and he died before they could help him)

Frequently reminds us that we shouldn't swing on our chairs because he has already seen a human brain on the floor and doesn't really want to repeat that experience (another work accident)

The last class before Christmas break, he came in in full Christmas themed clothing (an ugly sweater, a winter had with a white front that he turned into a snowman, reindeer shoes, you name it)

Calculated how many wind turbines would it take to replace Temelín

Proceeded to calculate that they would make a straight line from said Temelín to Belgium

When our medic group was at a competition, he came to walk with us and our teacher with a tote bag where he had bananas that he then handed out and made us eat them

Also gave us good marks for participating in the competition because safety is important in a lab

Complained that we as a country care too much about other ecological/economical problems when we have our own ("mně je tygřík usurijský srdečně u prdele")

Talked about how our economy went to shit with the nazis and them the communists. Again, in chemistry, for some reason

He follows our school meme page (I'm one of the creators so this made me happy) and he laughs at the memes, even the ones about him

Told me that moravians (for context: I'm moravian but now live in central bohemia) are the best people

Made fun ways to explain chemistry to us when someone didn't understand the original versions (instead of repeating how one atom replaces another and creates a different solution, he made an explanation using relationships so people could relate and understand better)

Genuenly seemed like he was going to cry when I gave him homemade fancy decorated gingerbread (because mom is amazing and decorating it)

Always checks what book am I reading and talks to me about it for a bit

Doesn't mind when I zone out in class and miss a question which is so nice

When he saw our 'time till we leave' countdown, he said we may be happy but he will be sad and will miss us

Said that men are a dead end branch of evolution (loosely translated from "slepá vývojová větev") and had facts to back that claim up

Told us how someone poisoned his coworker by switching ethanol, which he poured into his morning tea, for methanol

Gave us a literal sheet with numbers of classes and exams that we will have. Like "lesson 24: carbohydrates I" so that we could prepare ahead

Cancelled final exam because he didn't feel like teaching (and because it wouldn't fix anyone's grade anyway) but then decided to make it voluntary in case someone would actually want to take it

Played 'calming Japanese music' during a test

Kept the nickname "Gargamel" that students gave him because he seriously looks a lot like him

He keeps all the gifts from his past students in his chemistry classrom/lab (it's 2 in 1)

Always tells us not to sit on the floor because we will get sick and won't be able to have children (aka the most slavic thing ever said)

Always has a speech about trash and the existence of trashcans when he sees some trash on the floor

When someone is being too stupid even for his patience, he says "I get that you have one brain cell that is jumping around trying to find its friends so hard it gave itself a concussion, but-"

Assigned us numbers based on the alphabetical order of our last names and made us sign tests with it to keep it anonymous so he can just throw them out without having to worry about our names being leaked (yeah it's a whole thing) because getting rid of the papers otherwise takes too long

#czech republic #czech #chemistry #teacher stories #čumblr

[milkybonya]

slip ☆ big naughty

order 070, anon: large taro milk tea with banana tapioca pearls, pudding, and regular tapioca pearls for big naughty

! : suggestive (kissing/making out), swear words/explicit language, a lot of bickering, kind of cliché and fast paced

# : enemies to friends to lovers, fake dating, academic rivals, big naughty (Seo Donghyun x gn reader, ft. bestie Haon

[💌: yes i keep using old photos of bigna because he looks cuddly n sof and what about it !!!! also my fav song from hopeless romantic is papillon. and why is he going to so many festivals pls do a world tour sir we're waiting]

"oh, fuck off y/n," Donghyun snaps.

"i literally just want to sit in my seat," you say, pointing to your spot that Donghyun is sitting in.

he scowls at you and sticks his tongue out, turning back to his friends.

"what the fuck is your problem?" you sigh. "why can't i just sit in my seat?"

"your mom," he replies, laughing with his friends.

you groan and sit in his spot instead. he watches you carefully, trying to find more things he can pick on you about.

"what did you get on last week's assignment?" he asks.

"your mom," you reply with a smirk, proud of your retaliation.

"touché," replies Donghyun. "well, i got 99%."

"i got 100 so suck it," you say, turning back to him and sticking your tongue out.

you hear someone laugh and recognize it immediately as your friend, Haon. he walks into class and sits in his spot usually next to you, but currently taken by Donghyun.

"suck it fr, Donghyun," Haon says, opening his books.

"shut up, you can barely even pass half the time," Donghyun whines.

you burst out laughing and Donghyun smiles to himself.

the two of you are sworn enemies, academic rivals.

"but you guys enjoy this, don't you?" Haon asks you as he eats his lunch with you in the cafeteria.

you shake your head.

"he's so annoying, i can't stand him. he's literally so dumb and immature."

Haon shrugs, continuing to eat.

-

that week in class, a new assignment is announced. you're ready to do research and present the best ppt ever... until they say it's a creative project... and a group project, too. a group project in pairs. assigned pairs.

"i'm placing the two rivals in this class together because i'm sure if you actually work together, you can get something spectacular done," your teacher explains.

all eyes on the class turn to you and Donghyun. you can see Haon laughing somewhere within your peripheral vision as you try to look straight ahead.

"y/n and Donghyun, you'll be the first group to present. come take your assignment sheet."

you look back to see Donghyun rolling his eyes and sighing, exaggerating his every move and sound. so, you get up and fetch the sheet yourself.

everyone gets 10 minutes to read the assignment over before the class continues, and you drag your seat to Donghyun's desk so you can both read it over.

"this is so dumb," Donghyun sighs.

"i.. think it's quite fun, actually! we're given a lot of freedom for the presentation.. what should we do?!" you ask.

"i say we write a song. i know a thing or two about music. and you can come to my place; i have the equipment," Donghyun quickly explains while looking down at his phone.

you sigh. this is going to be tough.

-

Donghyun's house is big, clean, and extremely organized. you look around like a tourist at a foreign museum, taking in everything and also trying to find any baby photos of Donghyun to use as blackmail. you find his class president promo poster on the door of his room and immediately take a photo.

"everyone's already seen that. it won't do much for you," he says nonchalantly, making you jump as he walks from behind you into his room and onto his bed.

"let's go to my studio; it's easier to work there," he says with a smirk.

deep down, he's excited. he's excited for you to see the studio and feel shocked. he's excited to show you that he's more than just a bookworm. why is he excited? he doesn't know.. well.. because he gets to show off and one-up you, right?!

you follow behind him, imagining his studio as a tiny closet with a cheap mic, but you're suprised to find a soundproofed room filled with art, a weird toilet-chair, and a setup that looks like it belongs to a producer.

"wha--?" your jaw is dropped as you look around.

Donghyun's face is burning up, your shocked face makes him feel so proud he could die right now and die happy.

"Donghyun, this is all yours?" you ask.

"yeah, it's whatever. anyways, come sit. let's figure out what we want to do," he says as he sits in his chair, leaning back and turning on the desktop.

it takes a while for you to come up with ideas because you're still so in shock, but eventually, the two of you come up with the bare bones draft of a song. by then, it's pretty late and you decide you should go home.

right as Donghyun is sending you off at the door, his mom walks in.

"oh, hey Donghyun! i'm home.. who is this? a friend from school?"

"i'm y/n, Donghyun's classmate. we were just working on a project together," you say with a smile.

Donghyun's mom smiles back and nods, saying goodbye to you along with his son who glares at you as you leave.

"what kind of classmate do you glare at as they leave, huh Donghyun?" his mom asks him once you're gone.

"a classmate i hate."

-

back in class the next day, you excitedly race to Donghyun to talk about the song you've made.

"i was thinking about it all night! i have so many ideas now... we can incorporate some of our favourite poets' work into the song.. we can also sample some classical artists because we're gonna talk about how copyrighting and stuff is a blurry line, right?!" you ramble on.

"excuse me, do i know you?" Donghyun asks, trying to glare at you but breaking out into a laugh.

his laughter makes you crack up, and you don't notice Haon staring at you. the classroom's biggest rivals are suddenly laughing together?

you spend all of lunch talking about the song with Donghyun, and you go back to his place that night to work on the song again. his mom brings you fruits and wishes you luck as the two of you keep getting more and more ideas for the song.

"what about a music video?!" you suggest.

"let's make Haon the villain," Donghyun jokes.

"hey, hey.. don't bring my friend into this!"

-

the next day, you use your lunch period to film the music video. at this point, all sorts of rumours are spreading throughout the school. most of them involve you and Donghyun dating.

"i heard from someone that you went over to his house and spent the whole night making out with him instead of studying. what do you have to say for yourself, y/n?!" Haon asks you before a class begins.

"they can all fuck off. everyone will see when we present that we've actually been working hard," you explain.

-

at Donghyun's place, the two of you meet to add the final touches to the song and music video. you're so invested on fixing up a specific scene that Donghyun speaking makes you jump.

"don't you think it's so dumb that everyone thinks we're dating," he says.

you raise your brows at him while your heartrate returns to normal. "you heard it too?"

he nods, running his fingers through his soft, dark locks.

"yeah," you agree with a scoff, "it's really dumb."

"what if we fake date to make them think they're right and then a week later or something tell everyone ha we were just pranking!" Donghyun explains with a toothy grin, his hair falling back into his face.

"huh? w-why would we do that?"

Donghyun shrugs. "because it's fun."

you don't see the fun in any of this.

"okay, if you agree to fake date me, i'll... purposely fail the next test."

you perk up at the sound of that and Donghyun smirks.

"deal, then?"

"no... what would fake-dating entail?" you ask, leaning back in your chair next to Donghyun.

he presses the keys on his keyboard as he speaks. "acting like a couple but not actually being a couple?"

"okay, i know that much, but are we talking full pda or--"

💌: (pda means public display of affection, things like holding hands, kissing, etc that a couple does!)

"gross!" Donghyun yelps, pushing you and covering his face as it turns pink.

"get your head out the gutter! we'll just go with the flow, nothing too wild," he explains, pushing the hair out of his eyes.

you find yourself agreeing and the next morning, the day of your presentation, Donghyun is at your front door.

"Donghyun?" you ask, shocked.

"we're dating, aren't we? so let me walk you to school," he says, slipping his hand into yours.

"fake dating," you clarify as you lock the door.

"well.. anyways, all ready for the presentation today?" he asks, pushing his glasses up with his free hand. he grins at you; a small, curious grin.

"yep! i'm so excited... i think the reactions will be legendary," you say.

you both try to ignore the butterflies you feel each time you look at your interlocked fingers.

-

"they're holding hands?"

"i told you they're dating!"

"is it a prank?"

"y/n just wants to make Haon jealous."

the whispers start the second you and Donghyun enter the school grounds while holding hands, and they don't stop.

Haon races up to you in class once you're in your seat, demanding answers.

"i haven't seen you in a week and you say it's because of this project and now you're holding hands with your sworn enemy?!"

you shrug in response and he sighs.

looking back at Donghyun, you find he was already looking at you. quickly, he looks away, his cheeks red.

"okay, class. let's start the presentations! Haon and Seunghoon can go first," the teacher says.

you watch your best friend sigh as he stands, shuffling over to the front. you cheer him on and watch eagerly as he presents, but you're also nervous for your turn.

well, you don't even have time to be nervous! you're up next!!

the class murmurs as you both walk up and Donghyun smiles at you, lovingly? you can't tell if he's putting on the fake dating act or if his small smile and warm eyes are genuinely shooting out love hearts for you.

you shrug it off and focus on the presentation. luckily, you and Donghyun both present without any mistakes, and both the class and teacher love it!

"i knew something good would come out of pairing you both together!" the teacher says.

after the class, so many people come up to you both with questions about the song. Haon jokingly tells everyone that no paparazzi is allowed.

"move back!" he shouts, gently pushing the students away.

while Haon is unknowingly distracting them, Donghyun whispers into your ear.

"on the count of three, let's run."

"one." he smiles at you.

"two." he takes your hand.

"three!" he pulls you towards him as he sprints out of the class and you trail behind him.

your laughter echoes through the halls as you both stop in an empty classroom to catch your breaths.

"why?!" you ask Donghyun, who shrugs his shoulders.

"this is so much better," he says, panting while smiling.

"agreed," you reply.

there's an awkward silence between you both and you look around the classroom, not noticing Donghyun's eyes on you.

"can i kiss you?" he suddenly asks.

"huh?!" you whip your head around.

Donghyun's eyes are sparkling. he's serious, genuinely meant the question he asked.

"yes," you reply, knowing you mean it but not knowing why.

before you can try to find out, Donghyun is pressing his lips to yours and cupping your cheeks. his kiss is warm, and soft. you see stars; you feel butterflies like never before. he's practically taking you to heaven but brings you back down the second he pulls away.

"i-i'm sorry," he says, sheepishly, looking ashamed but cute with his cheeks all rosy.

"no. i wanted to," you say, reaching for his hand.

why are you reaching for his hand? your body is acting on instincts that you aren't even aware of.

you hear a low whistle from outside the classroom.

"so this is where you ran off to?" Haon asks, stepping into the class.

you quickly let go of Donghyun's hands.

"you have a lot of explaining to do, y/n," Haon tells you.

-

an hour spent at a café with Haon and he's had his jaw dropped the whole time as you've been talking.

"okay and so basically now you both kissed and you're wondering if you have real feelings for him?" Haon asks.

you slowly nod, taking a sip of your drink. your friend shakes his head at you, smirking.

"you fucking idiot. you've had feelings for him this whole time and haven't known! just date him for real already," Haon says.

"it isn't that easy! who knows how he feels about me," you point out.

Haon laughs, "he asked if he could kiss you. you don't think he likes you?"

your phone vibrates on the table. Donghyun's caller id flashes on the screen.

"answer it," Haon says. "i bet he wants to confess."

"hello?" you speak into your phone, stepping outside of the café so you can hear better.

"hey.. you're not busy, are you?" Donghyun asks in a small voice.

you look back at Haon. "no, why?"

"about what happened today.. i want to say that i don't regret it. i wanted that.. and i still want it.,"

"what do you mean?" you ask.

"i like you, y/n. for real. let's date.. for real?" he asks.

"you idiot. why aren't you telling me this in person," you joke.

"because i'm shy. answer me first," he whines.

you laugh, telling him that you feel the same.

"everything is happening so fast," you say.

"you're right, but let's not waste any more time. do you wanna come over?" Donghyun asks.

Haon looks up moments later to find you rushing in to grab your things.

"i'm so sorry Haon, i've gotta go," you say.

"just go. go to him," Haon says, sipping on his drink.

-

at Donghyun's house, his mom invites you in and you walk straight to his studio. the second you knock on his door, he opens it. clearly, he's been waiting.

and he wastes no time before he pins you to the door and his lips crash onto yours, tenderly melting against you as his hands slowly come down to wrap around your waist. he sighs in relief as your cool hands cup his warm cheeks, pulling him closer.

"was that okay?" he whispers after he pulls away.

"yes.. we like each other and we're dating now, right?" you ask.

Donghyun shyly nods. he takes you by the hand toward his chair, inviting you into his lap after he first takes a seat.

"wanna watch a movie with me?" he asks.

-

in class the next day, the two of you act as normal... as normal as a couple who were enemies before, then fake dated and are now dating for real could act.

people still don't know if your relationship is real or not, and some snobby popular girl comes all the way to your class from hers just to find out.

"it's real.. right? Donghyun, you wouldn't be dating your rival.. right? c'mon, i know you like me--"

she's cut off by the sound of your boyfriend scoffing.

"excuse me? like you? who even are you?" Donghyun asks, not even looking at the girl but instead focusing on drawing circles on the back of your hand as he holds it in his.

the girl is dumbfounded and storms away. you look at Donghyun, surprised that he stood up for you. he kisses your nose and giggles.

"i have to get used to this," you say.

"used to what?"

"you defending me for a change."

Donghyun shakes his head at you.

"get to your spots, everyone! we have a test today," the teacher says.

you look back at Donghyun before going to your desk, and he throws you a wink.

it's after class that you realize why--he kept his promise. he purposely failed his test because you agreed to fake date him.

"why would you do that, though? we stopped fake dating," you explain during lunch.

"but you still agreed, and a deal is a deal," he says with a small smile.

-

that night, you go to Donghyun's house again. in the studio, you recount the events that happened with that dumb popular girl and how Donghyun failed a test for the first time. you both laugh your heads off until a long silence prompts you to speak again.

you kneel down so you're eye-level with your boyfriend as you say, "Donghyun, you did really well today. i'm so proud of you. you did so much for me.. i don't deserve it."

"can i kiss you?" he suddenly asks without hesitation.

as soon as you nod yes, he presses his lips to the corner of your mouth, below your lips and above your chin. his touch as he gently caresses your cheek with his thumb is warm and soft. when he pulls away, even though you weren't kissing him, you miss the feeling of his lips on you.

his eyelids flutter open and he stares at you with stars on his eyes, his cheeks dusted red.

you unconsciously whine and pout, wanting to kiss him, making Donghyun break into a smile.

"you missed," you say, pointing to your lips.

"you're crazy," he tells you, but he still kisses you for real this time and butterflies rage within you as he pulls you onto his lap. it feels like you're melting onto his chest as one of his hands hold the back of your neck and the other your back.

Donghyun's phone starts vibrating on his desk but he pays it no mind, fully focusing on his racing heart and how sweet you taste, how warm you are to hold and how much he loves you.

he tells you this, breathes and mumbles it against your lips and you have to hold onto him because you feel so weak.

"D-Donghyun i can't.. i need a break.. my heart is exploding," you stutter.

he holds your waist and lets you lean back, admiring you.

"you don't think my heart also feels like there's warfare happening in there?" he asks with a toothy grin.

"i hate you," you say while smiling.

"oh? why are you sitting in my lap then?"

"fuck off."

"did you mean 'fuck me' instead? cause i will--"

"SHUT UP!" you shout, standing up.

Donghyun is a laughing mess, clapping his hands together and gasping for air.

"i'm sorry," he says with a smile, reaching for your hand as you jokingly turn your back to him.

#big naughty fluff #big naughty x reader #h1ghrmusic #h1ghrgang #h1ghr imagines #h1ghr scenarios #h1ghr music #h1ghr music imagines #big naughty scenarios #big naughty imagines #big naughty #seo donghyun fluff #seo donghyun x reader #seo donghyun scenarios #seo donghyun imagines #seo donghyun #h1ghr music scenarios #khh fluff #khh imagines #khh scenarios #khh

[itzpris15634]

S O

Exams are coming up. Instead of studying, I wrote some silly thoughts I’ve had about my LPS humanizations. Because that’s more fun!

Disclaimer, these are just my personal perceptions of them- feel free to disagree on anything.

Oh, and. Since a couple of these mention their appearances, here’s a link to the post i made with their designs: https://www.tumblr.com/itzpris15634/735150326041247744/first-time-posting-on-this-account-here-we

Ready? Let’s go!

-First, let’s mention their sexualities. Sunil is pansexual, Zoe is bisexual, Pepper is also bisexual (with a preference for women), Penny is asexual and heteromantic, Vinnie is also bi (with a preference for men), Minka is aroace, and Russell is demisexual.

-All their colored hair is all natural. They just live in a world where human hair colors varies a whole lot more.

-Musical instruments? Ooh, yes! The ones that are most into music are Sunil, Penny, and Zoe. Zoe sings (pff, duh-) Sunil can play guitar- both electric and acoustic, but he prefers electric since it sounds cooler. Penny is learning piano. As for the others? Vinnie did drumming back in high school (he and Sunil would even play together sometimes) but he doesn’t as much now. Minka likes the smaller, portable instruments- idk how to describe it, lol. The stuff like triangles, maracas, tambourines… Meanwhile Pepper and Russell just aren’t into playing music that much, but will cheer the others on.

-Russell’s canines are a little sharper and longer than normal. The others like to joke that he’s a vampire because of it.

-Penny has a collection of stuffed animals. Her favorite is a blue-purple panda (which is literally just the actual panda Penny Ling from the show lol-)

-Minka has a fascination for bugs. Going out and observing them, collecting them, studying them- girly just finds bugs interesting.

-Contrasting with Sunil- he has a big big fear of bugs. And Pepper loves to exploit that fear. Most of the time its just playful scares involving plastic bug toys. Or pretending a bug is on his neck or something. While to her, his reactions are funny, he doesn’t think the same.

-In terms of money, Zoe is the most well off among everyone. Her parents are super rich and have spoiled her throughout life. So she does the same to her friends. She’ll just buy them extravagant, expensive gifts out of nowhere. Of course, everyone is friends with her beyond that, but it’s a neat little bonus.

-Pepper is super particular about smell. She owns several different perfumes, colognes, deodorants, sanitizers… Which one she picks depends on her mood for the day.

-Oh hey, more Pepper. When she gets nervous, she’ll sweat. A lot. Kinda adds onto the previous headcanon listing; she’ll use all this stuff to hide the odor. Sometimes she’ll go overboard though, and mix up different clashing scents together. so it becomes kinda strong and overwhelming.

-Vinnie can be super indecisive. Say for example, going to a restaurant. If he’s already been there many times before and already knows his favorite, then perfect! He’ll just go with that. But when it comes to new places… oh boy. He’ll take frickin’ forever to decide. So he’ll usually tag someone along to pick for him in cases like that (usually Sunil). He’ll probably end up liking it anyway.

-Minka wears crocs, right? And you can put lil jibbitz on crocs, right? Well, each jibbit on her crocs represents each of her friends- a banana for herself, a book for russell, a sparkly magic wand for Sunil, the same flower Pepper wears on her suspenders, a bow for Penny, a microphone for Zoe, and the same gecko foot print on Vinnie’s jacket.

Aaaaaand that’s about all I’ve got for now! Should I do more? Maybe even with more characters. Blythe? The other (humanized) pets? Do tell.

#lps 2012 #humanization #vinnie terrio #russell ferguson #sunil nevla #zoe trent #pepper clark #penny ling #minka mark #headcanon #text post

[wambsgansshoelaces]

hi my lil stinky!

also just realized i don’t know what to call you lol

but i’ve come to you asking for writing advice! for moi wants to start writing again, i’ve honestly spent today looking for writing tips and tricks and thought maybe i’d come to you! (totally because i love how you write for succession)

it literally started bc i wanted some head cannons about reader who is Oliver Queens ward hanging around the batkids

and just being absolutely the worst bunch of kids to be around

but yes that’s all, any ideas to help me?😋

hello senior stinky!!!

you can call me whatever LDLWORK my name is layla but I’ll respond to whatever people call me in my ask box

I’d love to help!! It’s so flattering you chose me I’m honored actually like omg

okay so firstly, you need to get in your head that there is no right or wrong way to write- there’s so specific recipe. that’s what makes stories so much fun- every writer has their own style, and you get to find yours!! just start writing. the fancy prose or like super deep stuff will come with time :)

some basics, though:

-make sure to read whatever you’re writing out loud to make sure it’s properly structured. if it sounds dumb when you’re saying it, it definitely reads dumb

-please for the love of god break apart paragraphs

-if you think it’d help you specifically, write down a skeleton draft (basic plot points) for whatever it is you’re writing

-headcanons are fun though for that reason; you don’t need to have a plot!! do whatever the fuck you want

-not enough people punctuate dialogue correctly oh my god it drives me bananas

so basically, a speech tag is however you indicate your character says something, like “he said” “she yelled”. If you decide to use a speech tag, at the end of your dialogue, you put a comma. Ex. “Yada yada blah blah,” she told him. If you’re not going to use a speech tag, just use a period and live your life. Literally some book authors don’t use this rule and it’s mind boggling. Rant over sorry!!!

-just have fun!!! writing always comes out good when you can tell it’s a product of passion

-just write whatever comes to mind!! your brain knows what it wants to write; just give yourself some time to find the words and you’ll have a story in no time

I literally spend hours just staring at the wall writing a singular sentance

-I like listening to music or watching YouTube or TV when i write. maybe it’d help you!

-take inspo from other authors! obviously don’t plagiarize that’s crazy but like if you like the way a certain person writes, try mimicking it, it certainly doesn’t hurt

I hope this helps!! I’m ur number one writing fan you’ll be awesome <3

#ask box convos #writing tips

[koulakoukoula2003]

Potential Writers that don't post their stuff cuz they lack confidence

don't

lack

confidence

I know it's not that simple but

HEAR ME OUT

Fanfic is a fanmade work that you're not getting paid to write and publish, ok? No one's paying you, you waste your own free time on it. And since no one's paying you to write fic, THEN YOUR FIC DOESN'T HAVE TO BE PERFECT

If it was an original book that you'd publish THEN SURE it must be perfect, but if it is fanfic, you gain absolutely nothing from it (except maybe psychological satisfaction cuz writing fics FEELS good) IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE PERFECT (imma scream this way too many times).

Listen to me, people don't care about quality anymore. We're not in the 50s when you had to write esays that sound like fucking Shakespeare.

Oh? did you notice that 'esays' over there? Did you also notice that 'did' in the previous sentence where the 'd' should've been a capital 'D'?

I rushed to write and I made those mistakes, SO WHAT?! DID THE WORLD END? No, it didn't, cuz most of you didn't even notice it, and the rest of you don't even care.

That's what readers think about (the majority at least) when you make grammatical and vocabulary errors in your fic.

YES, PEOPLE DON'T CARE ABOUT QUALITY. People don't know how to appreciate nor how to recognise quality. The standards have dropped DRAMATICALLY. They've dropped in music (most ppl think trap is music), arts (some dude stuck a banana on a wall with fucking ducktape and sold this for 3 million USD or sth), literature (50 shades of grey). The standards have dropped, you don't have to sound like Shakespeare anymore.

So yeah, go ahead and write your ideas. There's so much trash in the internet rn, no matter how bad you think your writing is, somebody has definitely already posted something worse out there.

And you're most likely a non-english native speaker, so what? I learned English writing fic. My first fic was so fucking badly written, but it still got around 1 million readers and is still getting more!

I know people who are English native speakers, but even they fuck up their own language (which btw is the easiest language in the world).

Oh??? So you're one of those ppl? WRITE, WRITE, WRITE. You'll never improve unless you practice, and you can't practice if you don't WRITE. How do you expect to sound like Tolkien if you don't work hard and practice by writing?

Start WRITING.

You may have the most amazing ideas in your brilliant head, but if you don't write them, and if you never post them, then no one will ever know about them. You have gifts to give to the world. Don't starve the world of what you have to offer.

Write, write, write. You have nothing to lose. Your confidence is ALREADY low, your self-esteem is ALREADY LOW, you literally have NOTHING to lose. Just write.

Afraid of being criticized? Lemme just remind you that whoever criticises you YOU'LL NEVER MEET THEM IN YOUR LIFE.

That's what's great about the internet, everybody you interact with online, you'll never, ever, ever meet them. So what if they tell you your writing sucks? You.don't.care. It's that simple. You write because it makes you feel good, now, because a few mfs don't like your writing, THEY DON'T HAVE THE RIGHT to tell you that your writing sucks and I will explain you why.

Do they pay you to write this fic????? No. Fanfiction is a free work. So, they have no right to have demands like "noooo you shouldn't have done this" or "BADLY WRITTEN, 0/1O" like FUCK OFF if you don't like it DON'T READ IT, MF

BUT, when you get critique like "that sentence needs a comma" or "you could've put this word here instead" THAT kind of critique is IMPORTANT.

DON'T GET OFFENDED when you get that kinda critique, ffs don't be a crybaby, you NEED to improve. Even if you are fucking Tolkien, you NEED to keep improving. Keep adding new words in your vocabulary and for the love of God, learn Grammar cuz English grammar is the easiest there is. Get.better. You can't stay stagnant.

If you don't get criticised by complete strangers, you'll never learn what you do wrong! If you give your mom, your friends, your bf/gf/x to read your fic, they're gonna tell you that it's great, it's amazing because they love you. But strangers show no mercy. They are brutally honest. They have absolutely nothing personal with you. They'll simply tell you what you do wrong. Let them point out your mistakes and better yourself accordingly.

That's what progress is. Do that, and in five years, you'll have improved so much, your confidence will be in the highest heights, and you're gonna look back at your first fics and you're gonna be like WHAT KINDA GREMLIN WROTE THIS lmao

If you don't try something, you'll never discover your potential.

So what if you fail completely to learn anything? Did the world end?

Try harder.

#a lil bit of harsh talk coming from 12 years of writing experience eheheh #writing advice #writer #writing #fanfictionwriting #fanfiction #writing tips #creative writing #writers #writeblr #writer things #writerslife #the struggles of a writer #ao3 writer #writers block #author #writer problems #writer on tumblr #writer struggles #writerscommunity #aspiring author #fanfiction writer #fanfic writer #fanfic things #fanfic writing #fanfic stuff #ao3fic #ao3 fanfic #fic #fanfiction things

[chapstickman]

“I just came from r/196” ask game

Saw another post. I think I should invite y'all to one of our longstanding traditions. Answer the questions then tag 10 (or more) people. I'll go first.

Name? Jarrod

Pronouns and gender? they/he, guy???

Sexuality? Pansecual

Country? USA MERICA FUCK YEAH🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅

Top 5 fandoms? hazbin/helluva, fnaf, team four trees two, i forgor the rest

What is your Most forbidden snack? fabuloso also chapstick

Would you pet a bug? scared scared scared of bugs. dont like them. scary scary.

Share a weird fact/story about yourself with the class. i love fixing things, no matter what it is. my silly little brain just latches onto it like a puzzle, which it kinda is. i can already fix most electronic devices, or alteast know how to (FUCK apple and their stupid fucking anti repair policy. thats actual fucking bullshit. i dont want to have to pay for a 200 dollar course and license to fix your shitty god damn phones. mac books and ipads are aight. but FUCK apple as a company. all this does is protect their silly little fucking income from their stupid ass fucking phones breaking all the fucking time. all it does is make it so that people who do fix phones for a living fucking cant, and no devices to fix means no food on the fucking table for them or their families. they're toying with peoples livelihoods for a bit of fucking profit.) if i dont know how to fix it (cars, microwaves, tvs, literally anything that could break) i want to learn

What does the color blue taste like? mmm yumby

What is the most beautiful thing you've ever seen? the ocean. it goes on forever. it doesnt stop. i didnt realize that until i saw it in person. it stopped me dead in my tracks.

What is the stupidest thing you've ever done? ive got this protein bar. in 2020 (my second year of marching band, freshman year) i was eating a box of them on the way to marching band camp. i lost one. this was in july. i found it on the ground still sealed in january of the following year. i still have it. im going to eat it my senior year at the end of the year band dinner. i have not done it yet. im going into my senior year. im going to do it. it will kill me. i will not regret it.

Stupidest thing you've seen/heard someone else do/say? a pastor for a church i used to attend (unfortunately hes my uncle) blamed crime and evil on transgender people

Hyperfixation song? long list. Starman David Bowie, banana man tally hall, mr white keys cherry poppin daddies, play that funky music wild cherry, cant take my eyes off you frankie valli, sh-boom the ink spots, the devil went down to georgia the charlie daniels band

Is there any meaning behind your profile picture and/or username? I've been asked several times where "Chapstick Man!" comes from. It comes from TF2. I named a rocket launcher "chapstick gun" with the description "ngl chapstick taste kinda good" and then i thought the joke was funny and it stuck. my name is now Chapstick Man on like everything. i have not been sued yet. Im too cool to be sued.

Dream career as a child? also electronics repair technician (i am answering these out of order)

Dream career as an adult? still kinda a child ig. but i want to be an electronics repair technician, running my own little computer/electronics repair shop. i already know how to do it, i just need a building and to be 18 (i turn 18 in december) and people to come and give me their stuff to fix. i love fixing things.

Thoughts on cilantro? its aight ig

Have you ever been banned from a location and if so, why? I havent. but i plan to be. i am going to be silly and they cannot prevent it.

What is your cursed food combination? I did my burgers in ketchup if i want ketchup, i did my biscuits in gravy for biscuits and gravy

Trans rights? are epic!!!!!!

@everyone im lazy

#196 #rule

[devils-little-sista]

Tagged by @cityofdiangelo

What book are you currently reading?

The Stand by Stephen King, my ant got it for me for Christmas

What do you usually wear?

Random t-shirts and jeans, or that one skeleton hoodie I love so much

How tall are you?

5’4

What’s your star sign? Do you share a birthday with a celebrity or historical event?

Aires, and no not really, at least not anything I’m interested in

Do you go by your name or a nickname?

Just my name, except a few family members that have called me Banana since I was a kid

Did you grow up to become what you wanted to be as a child?

Lol nope. I wanted to be a rockstar but mom quickly squashed all my hopes and dreams before I was a teenager.

What’s something you’re good at and something you’re bad at?

Uh I’m good at making kandi bracelets, and bad at literally everything else, but if you want specific, when I’m reading something new I’m really bad at imagining the surroundings of a scene or what the characters look like or talk like. I’m still struggling with this on The Stand. It was worse when I was younger, I’ve gotten a little better at imaging the scene and characters (mostly thanks to PJO and hunger games, I’ve read them so many times I can play them like a movie in my head without even looking at the books )

If you draw/write/or create in any way, what’s you’re favorite picture/favorite lime/favorite etc. from something you created this year?

I don’t know about this year, but my thing that I’ve created so far is song lyrics and a melody I made “loosely” based on Percabeth. Also really love a few of the kandi bracelets I made with band names.

Dogs or cats?

I really love both but I’ve only ever had dogs because growing up my parents didn’t want to deal with the kitty litter box thing also my ant found out a few years ago she’s allergic to cats and she comes over a lot so

What’s something you would like to create content for?

PJO, Hinger Games, Invader Zim, Umbrella Academy, Killjoys, would also love to start writing songs again but I don’t have much motivation these days.

What’s something you’re currently obsessed with?

The Stand right now, always been obsessed with PJO and HG and music, the entire Ju Ju album by Siouxsie and the Banshees right now

What’s something you were exited about that turned out to be disappointing this year?

Disappointed in myself for not having my drivers license yet I’ve been learning how to drive for three years now. Hopefully get it in 2023.

What’s a hidden talent of yours?

Uh I don’t have many talents at all much less hidden ones so idk

What’s something you wish to have at this moment?

A back and legs and shoulder and a neck and a head that do not hurt, and some hot chocolate and tiny marshmallows

@allium218 @three-bunnies-in-a-trenchcoat @my-apollo-gies @italian-wall-lizard @burning-moths @the-ghost-king

[itsalwaysthesamehere]

Hey guys! This is from my ana doc that I keep private for the most part but I figured sharing would be great considering a lot of these tips/collections I got from tumblr anyways haha. I take no credit for any of this besides the food logs which are from my first week of relapsing. Ive tried to take things slower because I do have people Im hiding this relapse from so pleaseeeeeeeee no judgement. Im also super broke so I basically have to eat whatever we have at home. Enjoy yall!

Week one: No meat products. Prep soy sauce eggs, spicy foods and have breakfast, nothing off limits but only eat half of whatever you get for the week. Tons of salad and avoid heavy foods. 

Monday: 1800, high protein. 

Tuesday: 1600 Wednesday: 1400 Thursday: 1200 Friday: 1000

Saturday: 1200 Sunday: 1000

Monday: 1200

Tuesday: 1200

Wednesday: 1000

Thursday: 1000

Friday: 800 Saturday: 800 Sunday: 800 

Food log:

12/03/2023-

2 slimjims- 80 cal

One street taco- 75 cal

Cheese- 50 cal

Ravioli and salad: 350 calories

Total for breakfast- 205 calories

Total for dinner- 350 calories

Snack at night: 3 bananas, chocolates, chips :<, 1020 calories

Food log #2:

Breakfast: cottage cheese and raspberry jelly on toast, calories 147

Dinner: Spaghetti with garlic bread, calories 600

Snack: Garlic bread guts, 600 calories (heavily estimated, heavily exaggerated 

Total: 1,350 calories 

Food log #3:

Breakfast: White bread, cottage cheese and sugarfree raspberry jam, calories 200

Dinner: Cowboy stew with cornbread, calories 800

Snacks: Pastry :<, poptarts 1,150 calories

Total: 2540 calories

Lunch: Cowboy stew, 800

Snacks: One bite of pastry puff, cottage cheese with ritz crackers,pringles,  calories 437 

Total: 1,237 calories

Food log #5: 

Snack: Cottage cheese with sugarfree raspberry preserves and blueberries,, one chocolate, yahoo milk, sucker 335 cals 

Dinner: Alfredo with penne pasta, calories 600

Food log #6: 

Breakfast: 1/5th of a grape fruit, 1 egg white, 3 strips of bell pepper, 3 strawberries, and half a pom drink. Cals: 139

Snack: Icecream bite, 50 cals

Safe foods: 

Airhead - 60

Popcorn - 64 (per cup airpopped)

Animal crackers - 85 (ten crackers)

Baby ruth - 98

Milky way - 99

Vitamin water sugar-free - 0

Sparkling ice sugar-free - 5

Bai - 5 (any flavor)

Caprisun - 30-80 (depends on the flavor)

V8 - 45

Chinese fortune cookie - 15

Laffy taffy - 33

Pop rocks - 36

Cotton candy - 40 (10g)

Lollipop - 47

Candy cane - 59

White bread - 67

Angel food cake - 72

Victorian sponge cake - 72

Opera cake - 80

Buttermilk Pancake - 83

Pancake - 86

Pepperoni - 10

Chicken breast fillet - 17

Prosciutto- 18

Sushi - 39

Literally any lunch meat, they're all low cal!

Strip steak - 40 (3 slices!!!)

Quail breast - 69

Turkey wings - 53

Chicken wings - 77

Beef tripe - 80

Beef jerky - 82

Mushrooms - 1

Baby carrots - 5

Celery - 6

Bell pepper - 15

Tomatos - 20

Zucchini -  33

Green beans - 34 (per cup!!! Just throw on some red pepper and lemon juice and feast, sisters)

Artichoke - 60

Cucumber  - 66

Cherries - 4

Apricots - 17

Passion fruit - 17

Plums - 30

Cantaloupe - 23 (per 70g)

Mandarin oranges - 47

Peaches - 60

DON'T BINGE: 

Take a moment and talk to God about it (even if you’re not a believer, it doesn’t hurt to try!)

Watch mukbang about the food that you are craving

Watch supersize vs superskinny (its on YouTube)

Look in the mirror and remind yourself why you are doing this in the first place

Read a book

Do your homework

Do chores

Smell at the food that you are craving

Write down your feelings and cravings (trust me it helps sm)

Drink A LOT of water. Drink until you feel like you’re about to explode

Clean your room! Get rid of all those water bottles and dishes.

Clean out your closet, decide what clothes you don’t wear and donate them to your local thrift store!

Go on a shopping spree! (Don’t spend all your money though!)

Organize your Pinterest boards

Compare yourself to th!nsp0

Weigh yourself

Listen to music

Drink calming tea

Catch up with a friend!

Talk to your pet about your feelings

Sleep the cravings out

Take a long walk

Take a cold shower

Watch a movie you haven’t seen before

Take care of your nails!

Look up how to do something you have always wanted to learn (make-up, macramé, origami, sign language, …)

This might sound weird but I love sudokus and they always get me focused enough to stop thinking about bingeing

Make a to-do list for the rest of the week

Listen to a podcast

Have a self-care day (take an everything-shower, put on a face mask, take care of your hair and body)

Make an essay about any topic you like

Start writing a book

Re-decorate your room

Make a New Year’s resolution list! Who do you want to be at the end of 2024?

^ or make a vision board !!!

Call a friend or family member

Read the newspaper (lowkey more interesting than I expected it to be)

If you’re frustrated about it, scream into a pillow

Scroll on insta or tiktok

Built a Lego set

Pick some flowers!

Practice deep breathing

Try yoga if you haven’t before!

If you are still standing in your kitchen, girl get out rn

Ask yourself if you are physically hungry, the answer is most likely no

Keep a food diary

Munch on a low cal snack instead, take veerryyyy slow bites

Thing I do but definitely don’t recommend:

Binge and purge (if you purge make sure you brush your teeth abt 30mins after)

Sm0ke or v@pe (depends if i’m able to go outside or not)

Sh (please, pleaaaase don’t do this)

I’m so guilty to do this to my family and the people who think I’m in a true recovery. But if I don’t Im scared of what might happen, I’m scared I’ll kill myself or even worse. I just really want to lose weight and feel like myself again

On day one I did mess up by having meat early on but we have to go through meat products before I can buy vegetarian substitutes plus we don’t have eggs rn. 

so you think you're "stuck" here again? you're not actually stuck, you're just not trying hard enough. you can lower your intake, walk more, exercise harder, fast for longer. the only thing stopping you from losing weight is you. why haven't you changed that? do something.

It’s only been two hours and you are already eating again. You are gonna be huge forever.

if you're looking at some food and doubting yourself if you should eat it or not, the answer is no 

I doubt that eating makes you as happy as stepping on the scale and seeing that you lost weight

You aren’t hungry, you’re just bored.

Excuses to not eat:

My tummy hurts from gallbladder

I took my pills in the morning and got sick

Sky kept me busy all day

Shared breakfast and lunch with sky

Thought I ate, forgot. *Go to get a snack and come back with a drink or small treat*

Spend time cooking for others

Talk about how you ate different things for breakfast

Smaller chest

Sharper jawline

Less curvy thighs

Square hips

Dainty hands

Collarbones

Slutty waist

Sharp shoulders

To float in my clothes

To look hot in emo clothes

Deeper set eyes

Visible spine

✨️Hipbones✨️

To save money (less food eaten, less food to buy)

Mesh tops

Muscles easier to see

People telling me I'm so small

Boyfriends being able to pick me up like it's nothing

some tips on food fixation and binging urges:

hellooo, ive been thinking about compiling some things that have helped me get my mind off of food and overall just writing down some rant -- so here it is!

keep in mind, im not an expert and this is mostly just me babbling. im writing this as a motivation for myself, and it will probably not work for everyone, but if you find any of this stuff helpful -- my pleasure!

★ mindfulness ★

`` first of all -- ive found that that strong-urge-to-binge thing is more of a state, not a feeling. it helps me to treat it as such: a mental state, a spiral, and to come out of that spiral you can:

◌ stop!

◌ breath in, breath out. ground yourself. have that thought of "wait, what am i doing?" in the space between you and the fridge

◌ check in with your body. what position are you in? does something hurt? are you cold? are you tired? overenergized?

◌ check in with your mind. is there any buzz? are you overwhelmed?

◌ if you located the issue (eg. im tired! i want comfort! so food = comfort!) -- great! move on from there to resolving this issue in a more mindful, not-involving-food way (then i should nap, do yoga, just lie on the floor, watch comfort movie)

why are we doing that? in my opinon, its very important to train that "what am i doing" moment of conciousness, because through that you can see better why you want to binge. is it a mental thing? how can you cope without food? is it a physical feeling? an effect of restriction? how can you tweak your eating to make it better (imo, fasting does better job at managing binges than plain restriction)

you cant just showe thinspo at your face everytime you crave something, after all : )

★ activities ★

`` make something with your hands! ohh my god! i cant stress it enough, it can help you to not get fixated on thinking about food so much! it can be something easy like drawing, or you can look up something new for yourself

`` go on a walk. i know, it can be very tiring to even think about, but t does wonders at distracting you

`` yoga. very simple and very effective. or, alternatively

`` do nothing at all for a bit. just. lie down, turn off your phone, no sound, no nothing (helps if your binging urge feels overwhelming)

`` if you havent already, try drinking coffee. it really is called an appetite supressant for a reason

`` i wasnt the one who told you that, but you can look up some gross stuff involving food.. f*eeding k*ink usually freaks me out on multiple levels for long enough to forget about food

`` test yourself and allow yourself to feel bored. put down your phone. watch a really long flm. boredom is a part of our lives, and if you teach yourself to feel it in such small portions without binging youll be so so proud of yourself

Thinspos i have^

#thinspo #ana #anorexia #ed not ed sheeran #skinnni #meanspo #sweetspo #mealspo #tw ed diet #tw

[getallemeralds]

OKAY. UM. so it's been Literally Like A Year Or Two since i last talked about Rescue in any detail (?!) so you guys get some unhinged rambling about furries

...UNDER THE CUT, BECAUSE THIS GOT LONG.

Sol, he/him: woke up one day in a weird abandoned lab with no idea how he got there or literally anything at all. and then found out that thanks to Dubious Science he is now unable to be killed. which is very cool except for the "i dont know where i am, apparently i've been missing for HALF A YEAR, and also now my blood is BLUE????" thing. originally stressed, sarcastic, and distrustful, but once he's in a safer environment he turns out to be warm-hearted if awkward and has trouble expressing his feelings. technically undead. Rescue's set in 2017ish so he's, like. 20. likes spicy food, space, and Sonic; dislikes bright red, jello, and sticky things.

Zyd, she/her: fellow lab experiment with a lot of knowledge on the projects the lab was undertaking before being abruptly abandoned. fills Sol in on the whole "yeah you can't be killed anymore, have fun with that" thing, has a more extreme form of it where she literally can't feel pain but regenerates super quickly. comes off as very self-confident and driven, but is actually exhausted and wants to go back to a normal life as much as Sol does. this rabbit has trauma. likes horror movies, loud music she can yell along to, and citrus; dislikes being touched (with exceptions), harsh noise, and shirts.

Tank, she/they/he: literally just kinda Shows Up, does terribly at getting in Sol's good books, and is just kinda running around Causing Problems on accident. initial impression of being airheaded and naive, but that starts to crack eventually bc it turns out they're an anxious mess with a super low opinion of herself. oops! also they broke in but are very avoidant on Why. manages to blunder her way into becoming good friends with Sol afterwards. likes rhythm games (bonds with Sol over them), speedcore, and shrimp; dislikes getting talked over, romcoms, and needles.

Monty, he/him: third member of the Lab Experiment Gang, although Sol doesn't get to meet him for a while due to Tank knocking things off course. chronically ill and willingly volunteered hoping it'd help, became friends with Zyd, and then things went Terribly Wrong. nonverbal. prefers communicating through text (they confiscated his phone). was a theater kid. i BARELY talk about him and he didnt pass the sexy lamp test for an uncomfortable amount of time despite his friendship with Zyd being incredibly important. likes gardening, Portal, and trashy YA fantasy; dislikes bananas.

CY, they/them: WHERE. IS MY ART OF THEM. DID I SERIOUSLY NOT SAVE RECENT STUFF INTO THE RESCUE FOLDER AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA okay uh. CY is a hostile AI and the reason why the lab got abandoned - everything's in lockdown until they can figure out how to neutralize them, which is difficult when they've basically evolved into a virus that's taken over the lab's network and is trying to break through to the outside world. there is a lot more to them but they're kind of a mess. could probably be a notITG SRT villain.

Griffin, he/him: android assistant that is completely unaware the lab is abandoned because, like. the experiments patients are still there! somebody's gotta look after them! was very much not programmed to handle any of this and so is constantly frazzled and would like everyone to stop trying to break out, please. would also like everyone to stop trying to break IN, PLEASE, YES THAT MEANS YOU TANK. Zyd is very friendly with him, Sol has no idea what to make of him, CY fucking hates him. he's a... cat... dragon.. robot... thing..?

Seb: they/them, was named Sandblast until literally 5 minutes ago (originally was a Soundscapes character so theyre named after a song but got ported into Rescue years ago and i. never changed their name). trying very, Very hard to balance Griffin out, not really succeeding. has a lot of guilt about basically everything and is just trying to keep everything running smoothly. quiet and nervous. Wow I Wonder Which Leo Designed This Guy (it was pat)

there's also at least 3 more guys but one of them doesn't have proper art yet (Aloe, "sibling" to Seb and just kinda vibing her way through the whole situation), one of them barely has info at all and might be a backstory character, and the third one needs a huge overhaul. i swear to god ill do proper work on anybody that isn't the main trio (sol/zyd/tank) and CY someday

#leo chirps #leos ocs #if you read all this: congrats! why???? #this took me over an hour please clap #oc: sol mathonwy #oc: zyd #oc: monty #oc: CY #oc: griffin #oc: seb #oc: TK #running to your Rescue

[wzrd-wheezes]

Hi Lily! Your blog is beautiful and refreshing! I love the earth tones and hues in your theme and in a lot of your collages. They just radiate an inviting friendly warmth. Yet, your song collage series includes deep saturated colors, which I adore. I’d love to make you a collage, although I usually make them by hand, so it might take a couple days. So, if I may I’d love to ask you some Qs to get to know you better, make you a fun collage, and just vibe. <3 Feel free to pick and choose questions and answer as simple or in depth as you please. 🫶🏼☀️💗

What are some aesthetics you like/literally anything that just makes your eyes happy 🤩? (from clothing, architecture, album covers, art, etc.)

What kind of light/lighting do you like (warm, cold, natural)?

What kind of animals do you like? Are there creatures that you are not fond of?

What are some go-to snacks and drinks you pick up at the gas station?

What is something that you like about each season?

Do you like the water, and do you like mermaids? c:

What are some foods, sweets, and beverages that you like?

What’s a quote, saying, fable or myth that comes to mind now and then. For me it’s been the tale of Icarus for some reason haha

What’s a music video and film that you love in terms of artistry? Whether it’s just the cinematography, or everything from the wardrobe to the soundtrack?

If I actually sent you this as an owl, what color ink and paper would you reply with? 🦉📜✒️

Thank you for letting me send you this owl <3 I send hugs and positive sunny energy. ☀️🌈🫧🌿🍧📚🩵 - Cielo aka milivanili99 lol nice to meet you <3

this ask makes my heart so happy. you’re the absolute sweetest ever and i’d love for you to make me a collage!! thank you so much!! i’m so sorry that this is so long but i had so much fun doing it!!!

aesthetics: in terms of clothing i’d say that i dress kinda alternative kinda indie but it really depends. my dad says that i sometimes dress how he did in the 90s which always makes me laugh. as far as general aesthetics go i literally like anything, my tastes in stuff seem to change but i love anything with like a retro vibe. one of my favourite album covers is smashing pumpkins - mellon collie and the infinite sadness. idk why but it just scratches an itch in my brain.

lighting: i absolutely love warm lighting. n like natural sunlight especially when the sun is setting and it goes all orange and pretty

animals: i absolutely love frogs. they’re my favourite things ever <3 i also really really love dogs.

go to snacks from the petrol station: oooo this is such a tricky one but i love cherry pepsi max, or ice tea. n if i’m getting snacks i’ll usually go for some kind of salt n vinegar crisps or like a snickers or something.

something i like about each season:

winter - i love when it’s cold out and you can see your breath, i like it when it snows but only when i’m looking at it from inside because i hate being out in the snow. i love hot chocolate and christmas and spending time with my family.

autumn - everything about autumn i love. i love wearing ugly jumpers, and drinking tea and reading books when it’s raining out side. i love when you go outside around bonfire night and the air smells kind of smokey. i love pumpkin spice and banana bread and rewatching gilmore girls.

spring - i love when it just starts to get sunny again and you can go outside with just a jacket on. i love when the flowers start blooming again and everything seems like it’s getting more colour like someone has just turned the saturation up.

summer - i love sitting in beer gardens with my friends and spending hours there not knowing where the night will take us. i love going on picnics and going on walks. i love sitting in my garden in the evening reading a book and watching the sunset.

water: i love water but the ocean terrifies me. and i absolutely love mermaids. i used to pretend to be a mermaid when i was a kid bc i had super long ginger hair. my dad always used to sing me this one silly song that he made up that was something like “there once was a mermaid in mermaid lagoon, she ate her yogurt with a silver spoon” lmao

quote, saying, fable or myth: icarus is one for me as well! i also love the story of robin hood

film: a film that i absolutely adore everything about, the story, the aesthetic, everything, is the dead poets society

owl: oooo if i had to reply i think i’d love to write back on light pink paper with dark green ink

#asks #friends

[luna-mayham]

You probably did something wrong in your past life to deserve this

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the

web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with

everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hurdles, but I got over it.

To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

I read a book on anti-gravity. I couldn’t put it down.

I couldn’t remember how to throw a boomerang but it came back to me.

What should you do if you are cold? Stand in the corner. It’s 90 degrees.

How does Moses make coffee? Hebrews it.

The energizer bunny went to jail. He was charged with battery.

What did the alien say to the pitcher of water? Take me to your liter.

The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray was a seasoned veteran.

Sausage puns are the wurst.

What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.

Why shouldn’t you trust atoms? They make up everything.

What’s it called when you have too many aliens? Extraterrestrials.

Want to hear a pizza joke? Nevermind, it’s too cheesy.

What do cows tell each other at bedtime? Dairy tales.

Why didn’t the lion win the race? Because he was racing a cheetah.

What happens to nitrogen when the sun comes up? It becomes daytrogen.

What’s it called when you put a cow in an elevator? Raising the steaks.

What’s america’s favorite soda? Mini soda.

Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.

What kind of car does a sheep drive? Their SuBAHHru.

What do you call a french pig? Porque.

What do you call a line of rabbits marching backwards? A receding hairline.

Why don’t vampires go to barbecues? They don’t like steak.

How do trees access the internet? They log on.

Why should you never trust a train? They have loco motives.

Is your refrigerator running? Better go catch it.

The future,the present and the past walked into a bar.Things got a little tense.

I saw an ad for burial plots, and thought to myself this is the last thing I need.

I just found out I'm colorblind. The diagnosis came completely out of the

purple.

I'd tell you a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn't get a reaction.

Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It's very time consuming.

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

Read enough of our funny puns, and you'll be punstoppable.

Yesterday a clown held the door for me. It was a nice jester.

I used to go fishing with Skrillex but he kept dropping the bass.

The wedding was so emotional even the cake was in tiers.

What does a house wear? A dress.

Why can't bicycles stand up on their own? Since they are 2 tired.

I owe a lot to the sidewalks. They’ve been keeping me off the streets for years.

Imagine if alarm clocks hit you back in the morning.It would be truly alarming.

Why is a skeleton a bad liar? You can see right through it.

What do you receive when you ask a lemon for help? Lemonaid.

A man sued an airline company after it lost his luggage. Sadly, he lost his case.

What does a dog say when he sits down on a piece of sandpaper? Ruff!

What do you call crystal clear urine? 1080pee.

At my boxing club there is only one punch bag. I hate waiting for the punch

line!

An untalented gymast walks into a bar.

Einstein developed a theory about space, and it was about time too.

I was accused of being a plagiarist, their word not mine.

My friends say they don’t like skeleton puns. I should put more backbone into

them.

Let me FILL you in on my trip to the dentist.

Why does the singer of Cheap Thrills not want us to Sia?

Traveling on a flying carpet is a rugged experience.

Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.

The old woman who lived in a shoe wasn’t the sole owner,there were strings

attached.

Did you hear about the crime in the parking garage? It was wrong on so many

levels.

My new diet consists of aircraft, its a bit plane.

Have you ever tried to milk a cow which has been cut in half? Udder madness.

Why are there fences on graveyards? Because people are dying to get in.

Why do trees have so many friends? They branch out.

Models of dragons are not to scale.

Never discuss infinity with a mathematician, they can go on about it forever.

Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don’t

work out.

Don’t trust people that do acupuncture, they’re back stabbers.

A persistent banker wouldn’t stop hitting on me so I asked him to leave me a

loan.

I ordered a book of puns last week, but i didn't get it.

People say i look better without glasses but i just can't see it.

Don’t judge a meal by the look of the first course. It’s very souperficial.

I heard Donald Trump is going to ban shredded cheese, and make America

grate again.

I relish the fact that you’ve mustard the strength to ketchup to me.

What do you call a young musician? A minor.

Police were called to a daycare yesterday, where a 2-year-old was resisting a

rest.

If artists wear sketchers do linguists wear converse?

I changed my iPod name to Titanic. It’s syncing now.

Jill broke her finger today, but on the other hand she was completely fine.

I smeared some ketchup all over my eyes once. It was a bad idea in Heinz-

sight.

I flipped a coin over an issue the other day, it was quite the toss-up.

I got hit in the head with a can of soda? Luckily it was a soft drink.

I heard that the post office was a male dominated industry.

Why isn’t suntanning an Olympic sport? Because the best you can ever get is

bronze.

What do you mean June is over? Julying.

Why is Kylo Ren so angry? Beause he’s always Ben Solo.

These reversing cameras are great. Since I got one I haven’t looked back.

The candle quit his job because he felt burned out.

Our maintenance guy lost his legs on the job, now he’s just a handyman.

Going to bed with music on gave him sound sleep.

A magic tractor drove down the road and turned into a field!

I met some aliens from outer space. They were pretty down to earth.

The plane flight brought my acrophobia to new heights.

My phone has to wear glasses ever since it lost its contacts.

I, for one, like Roman numerals.

How do mountains see? They peak.

The show was called Spongebob Squarepants but everyone knows the star was

Patrick.

This is not alcohol, water you thinking?!

Novice pirates make terrible singers because they can’t hit the high seas.

I told my friend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.

The earth's rotation really makes my day.

If I buy a bigger bed will I have more or less bedroom?

Two peanuts were walking in a tough neighborhood and one of them was

a-salted.

Two ropes were walking in a tough neighborhood and one of them was

a-frayed.

What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers.

I got a master’s degree in being ignored; no one seems to care.

After eating the ship, the sea monster said, I can’t believe I ate the hull thing.

Smaller babies may be delivered by stork but the heavier ones need a crane.

A bartender broke up with her boyfriend, but he kept asking her for another

shot.

I had a pun about insanity but then I lost it.

He couldn’t work out how to fix the washing machine so he threw in the towel.

Why does the man want to buy nine rackets? Cause tennis too many.

Why don’t cannibals eat clowns? Because they taste funny.

If I got paid in lots of Pennes I would make loads of pasta.

I thought I saw a spider on my laptop, but my friend said it was just a bug.

A doctor broke his leg while auditioning for a play.Luckily he still made the cast.

The tale of the haunted refrigerator was chilling.

Why are frogs so happy? They eat whatever bugs them.

If you wear cowboy clothes are you ranch dressing?

I was addicted to the hokey pokey but I turned myself around.

Simba, you're falling behind. I must ask you to Mufasa.

I bought a wooden whistle but it wooden whistle.

The bomb didn't want to go off. So it refused.

The sore mummy needed a Cairo-practor

I feel sorry for shopping carts. They’re always getting pushed around.

The display of still-life art was not at all moving!

On Halloween October is nearly Octover.

Pig puns are so boaring.

Why couldn’t the dead car drive into the cluttered garage? Lack of vroom.

What do you call Samsung's security guards? Guardians of the Galaxy.

What does Superman have in his drink? Just ice.

How does a penguin build it’s house? Igloos it together.

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

The safe was invented by a cop and a robber. It was quite a combination.

What do you do when balloons are hurt? You helium.

One hat says to the other, "You stay here, I’ll go on a head."

How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles.

When does a farmer dance? When he drops the beet.

When the scientist wanted to clone a deer, he bought a doe it yourself kit.

If people ask how many puns I made in Germany I reply, "nein"

Did you hear about the invention of the white board? It was remarkable.

If Donald Trump becomes president, America is going toupee.

Can February March? No, but April May.

I hate Russian Dolls, they are so full of themselves.

What do you do to an open wardrobe? You closet.

The magazine about ceiling fans went out of business due to low circulation.

So what if I don’t know what apocalypse means? It’s not the end of the world!

Some aquatic mammals at the zoo escaped. It was otter chaos.

A backwards poem writes inverse.

Getting the ability to fly would be so uplifting.

I asked my friend, Nick, if he had 5 cents I could borrow. But he was Nicholas.

The soundtrack for Blackfish was orcastrated.

Where do you imprison a skeleton? In a rib cage.

There’s a fine line between the numerator and the denominator.

I used to work at a hairdresser but i just wasn’t cut out for it.

Why is metal and a microwave a match made in heaven? When they met,

sparks flew.

The lumberjack loved his new computer. He especially enjoyed logging in.

Garbage collectors are rubbish drivers!

When the church relocated it had an organ transplant.

Lettuce take a moment to appreciate this salad pun.

The scarecrow get promoted because he was outstanding in his field.

Sleeping comes so naturally to me, I could do it with my eyes closed.

I never understood odorless chemicals, they never make scents.

What do prisoners use to call each other? Cell phones.

Why was dumbo sad? He felt irrelephant.

When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.

Old skiers never die. They just go down hill.

Did you hear about the pun that was actually funny? Neither have we.

You know why I like egg puns? They crack me up!

Want to hear a pun about ghosts? That's the spirit!

I used to make clown shoes… which was no small feat.

Did you hear about the human cannonball? Too bad he got fired!

What happened when the magician got mad? She pulled her hare out!

Did you hear about the circus that caught on fire? It was in tents.

The one day of the week that eggs are definitely afraid of is Fry-day.

A hen will always leave her house through the proper eggs-it.

The man who ate too many eggs was considered to be an egg-oholic.

All the hens consider the chef to be very mean because he beats the eggs.

Eskimos keep all of their chilled eggs inside of the egg-loo.

Under the doctor’s advice, the hen is laying off eggs for a few weeks.

I had a real problem making a hard-boiled egg this morning until I cracked it.

The best time of day to eat eggs is at the crack of dawn.

The chicken coop only had 2 doors since if it had 4 doors it would be a sedan.

Crossing a cement mixer and a chicken will result in you getting a brick layer.

That reckless little egg always seems to egg-celerate when he sees the light

turn yellow.

Hopefully this egg pun doesn't make your brain too fried or scrambled.

Don't ever have multiple people wash dishes together. It's hard for them to

stay in sink.

People using umbrellas always seem to be under the weather.

I dissected an iris today. It was an eye-opening experience.

What was Forrest Gump’s email password? 1forrest1.

What planet is like a circus? Saturn, it has three rings!

Before my father died he worked in a circus as a stilt walker. I used to look up

to him.

Why did the lion eat the tightrope walker? He wanted a well-balanced meal!

I really look up to my tall friends.

I hate negative numbers and will stop at nothing to avoid them.

Long fairy tales have a tendency to dragon.

It takes guts to make a sausage.

You. I will eat you one limb at a time until I have finish you completely. Your skeleton will make a fine decoration for my wall.

(Aight, which one of you is this? The effort you made to write while whole ass wall holy hell.)

#bone’s grimoire #magic 8 skull #harper's va #where am i

[catholicjinx]

omg ok sleepover q’s ^^

best party you’ve ever been to and why?

with no consequences, what’s one crime you would absolutely commit?

what’s ur top 5 worst songs (like least favorites)?

which is better pancakes or french toast?

what book do u think i would like (hehe sneaky book rec)?

if you could live in any fictional universe with any role i want, what would u pick? and what if you were a randomized person (like you don’t get to choose who/what you end up as)?

fuck marry kill but orange yellow and red. does this make sense. like the colors.

what’s your favorite thing abt you?

what do u think about drinking straight milk. like out of a glass.

if you were any classic horror creature (dracula, wolfman, the mummy etc etc) what would u be?

and finallyyyyyy

what kind of person are u at sleepovers? (passes out first, stays up and eats, the party one etc etc)

:)

HI ROYCIE OMG

i do not go to parties :)

I'd line up every single person that let the bills pass that are making drag illegal and sending trans rights down the drain and run them over with the largest truck I can find. xoxo

anything by lizzo I can't fucking stand her music. or meghan trainor

THATS SO HARD. I have to say pancakes tho because i love putting little bananas on them

hmm. whenever I dont know what people's book preferences are or what they've already read I Always say the hate u give by angie thomas. it will make you so upset and angry and it's so beautifully written. 10/10 read

I wanna be a villager in animal crossing bro after playing the game since its release im getting tired of having to do all the shit around my island. also if I didn't get to choose I think I'd die

FUCK RED MARRY YELLOW KILL ORANGE. sorry for all the orange lovers out there but its only good as a fruit

my nose :3 I never really thought of it much until my boyfriend commented on it and now it's my favorite thing about me. also I have soft eyes (if that.makes sense. I think they look gentle enough idk)

I am a milk hater...💔 so I don't drink it out of a glass but I support people brave enough to do so

DRACULA WHAT . I AM VAMPIRE BOY

og my god I'm the one that wants to go home the whole time 😭😭 I'm very much a homebody and I quite literally only go to my boyfriends house. I don't do sleepovers so most of the time I'm wishing I was at home or the one to lay down and fall asleep first

#this was so fun thank you!! #oasks

[dearsnow]

SELFSHIPS

current fav: johnny <3

The Quarry

[dylan lenivy] - mercury.

- beachboy (mccafferty)

INCLUDES

↳ mario kart sessions, nerding out while talking about our interests, making playlists for each other, joking back and forth, trail mix (we eat the bits the other doesn’t like), stargazing, bug spray, him teasing me for caring too much, dove coconut dry shampoo, rusty water bottles, watching the sun go down after the last day of summer, keeping in touch from miles and miles away, sharing fries, flicking moss at each other, sharing earbuds, drawing really stupid portraits, gentle (slightly awkward) kisses, linking pinkies and holding hands, playing with his hands when i’m nervous, smearing bits of food on the other’s face, banana cream pie, driving with no destination in mind, late-night fast food runs, him doing everything in his power to fluster me (it always works), making him bend down so i can kiss his cheek, playing pranks on me and scaring me, resting my head on his shoulder, cuddling late at night, scary campfire stories, burying him in sand, the campers trying to set us up all summer before we finally, finally confess.

“I literally hate you, that was the stupidest prank to ever exist.” I say, sighing at his “cut-off” arm. “You can’t scare me like that.”

“Why, do you care about me or something?” He jokes.

“Yeah. Of course I do. Always have, always will.”

Genshin Impact

[diluc ragnvindr] - sun.

- fever dream (mxmtoon)

INCLUDES

↳ blood soaked snow, sparring with him, winter in mondstadt, fancy wines, cold baths, red roses, creeping vines, relaxing with him after a long day, running my hands through his hair, fresh walks in the morning, collecting souvenirs, corks, rich hot coco, stupid bets, pouches of mora, seeing our breaths in the air, dead leaves, burying myself in his coats, petting stray animals, ham, frosty gloves, snowmen, cooking for him, sweet madames, chicken coops, adjusting his collar, gold jewelry, hot soup, picture frames, lost connections, giving me every flower he sees on his way home from work, warm taverns, booze that burns the back of your throat, collapsing on top of each other after long days, christmas, loose beads, glasses, dirty crystals, big old books, hairpins, apple cider, crackling fireplaces, red ribbons

Diluc hums as he pours another glass for me. “Drink this slowly. It’ll warm you up.”

I take a sip and grin up at him. “Y’know what will really help me warm up? A hug."

Game of Thrones

[jon snow] - moon.

- young and beautiful (lana del rey)

INCLUDES

↳ holding me bridal style as i try to catch snowflakes in the air, secretly worrying about me when i go off on my own, warm smiles, snowstorms, breathing in his woodsy cologne, trying to teach me how to use a sword, strong drinks, my hands threading through his curls, passion, brushing my hair back, staring at me fondly when i pet ghost, silver and gold, small and cold gemstones, fancy cutlery, rough love, fur coats, drowning in his clothing, looking into his dark eyes, tyrion telling him to be kind to me (he always is), soft enemies to lovers, playing in the snow, snowball fights with him and his family, awkward dinner conversations between our families, touch as a love language, stoic x overdramatic, knives, reading books to him at night, a snowy wedding, serious conversations, content shivers, warming our frozen faces by a fire, bard music, exploring the woods, forehead kisses, snuggling up to him in bed, making things for him and his siblings, him looking over my shoulder as i write

“You are beautiful.” Jon mutters, hands finding their way to my face.

“I am?”

“The most beautiful in the world.”

House of the Dragon

[jacaerys velaryon] - jupiter.

- getaway car (taylor swift) / like real people do (hozier)

INCLUDES

↳ kissing my hands, tea by the fire, traditional courting, friends to lovers, walking in the gardens, dragon rides, tucking my hair behind my ear, hot stew, carrot cake, studying together, playing with luke, windy days messing up our hair, beach trips, reading together while tucked in bed, goofy faces, family trips, college, holding his sword, little lizards, nerd x jock, cuddling long before we ever get together, spinning bar stools, stained wood, video games, hand-holding and cheek-kissing in public, him dressing up in my clothing, petting random dogs in the streets, shelter visits, cheesy prom signs, wearing his letterman, bacon, brown beads, cooking together (it rarely goes well), leather, dumb pranks, modern au, holding my paintbrushes hostage, ferns, accidentally killing every plant we attempt to own, lamps, caricatures, writing on coffee-stained paper

“Hey, you know what would be funny?” I smile.

Jace looks at me with a raised eyebrow and kind eyes. “Yeah, actually finishing this homework.”

10 Things I Hate About You

[patrick verona] - uranus.

- my girl (the temptations) / wanna be yours (arctic monkeys)

INCLUDES

↳ cigarettes, record stores, louder-than-whisper talking in libraries, telling him to quit smoking, late-night escapades, 7-11 slurpies, playing with his hair, dumb pranks, him trying to scare me on purpose, haunted houses, picture collages, talking during class, helping him with schoolwork (he never ends up finishing it no matter how hard i try), making fun of rude teachers in secret, rough palms, motor oil, cramped but cozy apartments, black coffee, she fell first he fell harder, loud music, warm leather / jean jackets, competing in everything we do, dragging him to places he absolutely does not want to go, concerts, outcast x good girl, fake awards, laughing too loudly, joking around in the shopping mall, red candy, spicy cinnamon cologne, broken chargers, old phones, kissing in front of the tv static, really crusty dogs, pushing each other just a little bit, really long phone calls, not confessing for a really long time, laughing at lovey-dovey couples, gifts even when we can barely afford them, back and chest kisses, chains, tank tops

“Your eyes have a little green in them. It’s pretty.” I mention, turning my pencil over in my hands.

Patrick looks at me from his position on my bed. “Not as pretty as you.”

Dead Poets Society

[charlie dalton] - mars.

- mary’s song (oh my my my) (taylor swift) / orlando (leith ross)

INCLUDES

↳ childhood friends to lovers, corny poetry, picnics, rubbing his shoulders after work, caves, dark academia, goofy smiles, play fighting, the smell of freshly sharpened pencils, studying together (we never get anything done), thick jackets, messing up his hair, romance gone wrong, pen ink smudged on the sides of our hands, teasing winks, comparing hand sizes, calling me his girlfriend before ever actually dating, old records, paper mache, glue, a natural sort of opposites to lovers, him slinging an arm around my shoulder at all times, making fun of my height, placing his chin on top of my head, scrunched noses, a hint of warm cologne, whispered words of love, yellowed parchment, whipped cream/frosting on our noses, barely-noticeable freckles, sword fights with twigs, funny faces, brown, blazers, shirley temples, sharing soda, sherpa blankets, him commenting on movies while i’m trying to watch, backwards sweaters, candlelight, gray skies, so much teasing

“You know it’s ice skating, not ice scooting, right?” Charlie asks, laughing at my wobbly legs.

“Shut up and hold my hand.” I grumble.

The Outsiders

[johnny cade] - star.

- first light (hozier)

INCLUDES

↳ washing the grease out of his hair during shared showers, stray cats, sleepovers in the lot, stargazing, holding his hand in his pockets, denim, wired earbuds, graphite stains, cold fingers, being anywhere but his house, whispers of confessions, microwaved meals, freezer burn, hanging out with the gang, switchblades, him defending me whenever possible, tutoring him, quick but meaningful phone calls, record collections, mixtapes, small trinkets, blueberries, holding each other as close as possible while sleeping, patching him up, burning alcohol, starlight, assuring me i’m all he could ever want, standing by my side when i talk to people, ice cream and drive-thru dates, old movies, him coming over so frequently we practically live together, greasy burgers and fries, being teased by dally, linked pinkies, hushed promises, young but loyal love, convenience stores, slushies, getting him to quit smoking, him keeping a picture of me in his jacket pocket, holding each other while we work out our emotions

#✦ – orion's orbit.

[thatone-highlighter]

as much fun as the 4K word CAWM post is I’m moving this to the ask box since I don’t have as much to say.

I would totally recommend looking through bmos room and the stuff in there ! There is just sooo many references in there it’s so cool, (and there is so much to pick through in the 1000+ theme song/intro)

Oh yeah 100%, BMO makes me sad in a way, how they r basically destined to outlive most of their friends (except for the few immortal bunch like Marceline n PB) 

Heheheheeh I’m am gonna procrastinate on SO much stuff while infodumping about fern to you >:3

Oh yeah the Gumbald arc is definitely one of the ones that got most affected by it getting cut short, oh yeah the adventure time finale is pretty well received, even with some of the pacing issues n stuff, DEFINITELY WAY BETTER ECIVED THAN THE SU FINALE HO,Y SHIT, yeah I feel like people can be way to harsh on su, it’s definitely not perfect but god,

Lmao fanon lumpygrab is obviously a mixed bag like with literally every ship but it’s not really a ship i go seeking content for ? So when I do get it’s from accounts I already follow and stuff,. idk where I was going w this, you probably get what I mean, hopefully,

Tragic characters are my everything, just,, god I just don’t get people who don’t enjoy any angst at all. Like cmon I love my blorbos and wish for them to be happy but I also want to throw them into a fire and vivisection them and just make them go through so much shit.

Yeah yeah, the Finn losing his arm in golb thing is just intresting to think about, although is definitely not something I would have wanted in the show .

adventure time music grrrrrrrrrrrr

(Also I wrote this while listening to still alive from portal 1 on repeat. why did I tell you this ? Why not tbh)

I cant belige you could abandon the giant cawm post like this- /j

Okay so i actually just started having a look at the intro and bmo’s room so im just gonna say a bunch of stuff i noticed

I think its pretty cool that Shermy and Beth live in Marceline’s old house and then Finn and Jake also lived in Marceline’s old house too it seems poetic in some kinda way. I wonder how many other iterations of them shes leant her house to over the thousands of years, because thinking about that first introductory episode shes in, from memory if almost feels like shes done that before. So.

Why does BMO have a guillotine on the damn roof of their house . Is going around decapitating ppl a thing they just Regularly do or- . We got statue of KoO, the crowns, IKs drum but it looks kinda busted, lady rainicorns translator thing(?), bmo’s skateboard from that one episode, that soda girl, james baxters balls, the hat from the lady armour, oh the broken clock! , lsp’s number plate, amo just. Open on the table like its normal, one of those books looks like ones of the ones IK was reading on how to get bitches or smthn, is that lsp’s star??!??!, jake’s viola, a portrait of banana man?

Also that Is meant to be sweet pea right? The giant walking around?

The idea of characters who live forever is so sad to me. Im glad that bmo Isnt the only one because if they were it wiuld just be awful, Bonnie and Marcy have eachother but i hope they go visit bmo from time to time it would be really sad if they ended up all alone :(

I am taking this as a chance to go Insane over SU because somehow all this being insane over AT has made me want to do that. I could kinda i guess see how people could be unsatisfied with the ending of SU, i didnt have many expectations to be let down by by the finale but i also watched it when i was like 12 so. But even if you had issues with it once you found out that they got ruched into a finale and Why they got rushed into a finale you would think you’d cut the writers a but more slack but people Dont. And even outside of DD and CYM most of the issues people have with the show aren’t even that big a deal, “oh the art-style is inconsistent” okay? And? They let the storyboarders have a bit of creative freedom “oh the characters are off model a lot” okay?? As long as you can tell who they’re meant to be and as long as character a is taller than character b who cares??? “Oh the writing is really badly paced with a bunch of filler episodes everywhere all the time” 1. Thats not what filler means and 2. Its written like that because of the stupid fucking steven bomb format that it got aired in. Its a kids show thats just trying to tell a story about this kid with a magic gem in his belly that gives him super powers calm down okay tje first episode is about him thinking his powers come from eating ice cream(i mean this in the most affectionate way possible). No one is saying the show is perfect nothing is perfect if you personally dont like it just say you dont like it you dont have to try and come up with reasons why you dont and you especially dont have to insult and be mean people who do like it for no reason. Man

I get what u mean with the lumpy grab thing. Like most the stuff you see for it are from creators who make other content you already like so chances are when they make that content youll like it too even if you’re not overly fond of the ship itself. Brain to brain communication

TRAGIC CHARACTERS MY BELOVED. Weve been over this so many times but theyre so !!

Holy shit still alive!! I love that song i used to listen to it a bunch before id ever even played portal properly its such a vibin song i put it on whole i was writing this out <3 thank u for reminding me of its existence

#man we got all the good shit in one oost we got AT we got SU we got Portal all we need is minecraft and we set #i got. So into that SU rant for No Reason. i just rlly like it and the pol who critique it have such bad criticisms #wait fuck is this a theme i have #SU🤝ID things duck likes that ppl criticise for no reason and think liking them is cringe #well thats todays realisation down #i have a fucking encyclopaedic knowledge of SU or some shit someone will mention a scene in passing and i could tell you Exactly #when and where that scene is from its SO funny every time it comes up #Tree Man Posts #asks #and so the adventure time live blog continues