#literally i am learning so much from him

[quotidian-oblivion]

May I just say... Colin Morgan's background stage business is impeccable. There are so many actors who just stand there watching or aimlessly shuffle around, but I've noticed that when Colin Morgan is in-character, he is in-character.

I haven't watched him in anything other than Merlin, but when he's not the focus of the camera, he's still doing things just as Merlin does. Like, trying not to laugh during the feast when Elena was visiting and displaying poor table manners, actually looking deep in-thought and mouthing the name 'Alice' when Gaius was talking to him about her, glaring at Gwen from the bedpost when she was enchanted and was monologuing about who could have possibly poisoned Arthur, polishing or doing a chore or keeping his head down when Uther's talking to Arthur but still watching them with a keen eye-

and so many more instances! His background stage business is just amazing.

#quotidian convos #i am actively taking inspiration from him for my own acting #literally i am learning so much from him #bbc merlin #merlin bbc #merlin #merlin emrys #colin morgan #arthur pendragon #bbc elena #uther penderagon #princess elena #bbc princess elena #bbc gwen #gwen pendragon #guinevere pendragon #bbc gaius #gaius #gaius bbc #merlin meta #merlin fandom

[thisisadonaldduckblognow]

ik it’s probably a classic case of extrapolating way too much but... the way raph’s character design lines up w his whole arc and role and struggles...

like the fact that he is so so so much bigger than the others. raph is big, raph is strong, raph is steady and sturdy and he can literally pick up his entire family and carry them all at once. 

and like, when raph is so big and so strong and such a reliable thing. when raph is the protector, the one calling the shots on missions, the mother hen, the first point of authority. when raph is there, overprotective, when raph (for all that his brothers poke at him not being good under pressure) always always ALWAYS comes through at the end of the day when things are serious, ALWAYS gives it everything he’s got. 

his design and his learned role/behaviors in this family are just the perfect storm of why it took up to the season finale to drive home the issue.

so much of the series carries the default energy of “raph will handle it.”

raph will hold up the ceiling above you. raph will throw himself over you and take a hit and get back up and keep fighting. raph has a power that makes him even bigger and draws more attention and makes him able to carry MORE. raph will be the substitute parent. raph will be put into the mentor role through leo’s leadership arc. 

and raph is big. he’s built to carry heavy loads. raph is strong. raph is bold and loud and always ready to try to push on. even if he doesn’t know what to do or what he’s doing, he won’t give up and we’ll all pull together and things will turn out okay.

(his room is full of teddy bears. he dipped out on a mission to try to take a picture of a pigeon carrying a slice of pizza. he’s terrified of being alone.

he’s just as much of a kid as his brothers are. he’s just as new and inexperienced with the things happening to them as his brothers are. but for him, for some reason, there’s like this double standard where that becomes a huge glaring flaw.)

idk this got very sloppy and uncoordinated. i’m very in my feelings about raph right now though.

#rottmnt #rise of the tmnt #rottmnt raph #rise raph #rottmnt raphael #honestly i could go on forever and ever about the double standard thing where raph is concerned #like. w movie leo especially leo is learning lessons raph also had to learn in the series! making very similar mistakes! #but you never see analyses or essays pointing to those bad calls as signs that leo isn't up to the task... #(i mean there are some clear Reasons why that happens.) #(its the reason why raph and mikey are the bros who get the least content by a MILE. but. not the point of this post.) #the whole point is just the idle subconscious assumption and associations of it being fine to let raph carry everything #literally physically sure but also metaphorically #and the plight of the child who seems to Need Nothing (all children need; some sadly learn not to appear to need) #even my tags are incoherent rn clenches fists i love him so much is all #like there is a reason it takes to the series finale for him to have a proper breakdown and get actual support from his bros #and i am still mad we never got real good content for him and splinter #considering how similar their arcs ARE.... #thats a whole other thing whatever

[blujayonthewing]

pitched battle inside my brain between the part of me that's desperately shaking myself by the shoulders going "YOU HAVE GOT TO ACTUALLY LIVE THE KIND OF LIFE YOU IMAGINE INSTEAD OF JUST SITTING AROUND IMAGINING IT UNTIL YOU DIE!!" and the part of me that's clutching my face going "is this allowed? is this allowed?? is this allowed???"

#trying to plan a solo cicada pilgrimage and getting brainworms about it yeehaw #'making a lot of plans and never actually doing things in real life' has been a problem for literally as long as I can remember #but I also feel like I've developed a learned helplessness over the last several years that's gotten worse as I've gotten older?? #me age twenty: I think I'm gonna take myself to chicago next week because I feel like going to the zoo #me age thirty: am I allowed to go camping alone. am I allowed to do a solo road trip. I need a grownup #to be extremely clear I am very much allowed and this is not justin's fault and I don't know where it comes from #like I'll run things by him lowkey seeking 'permission' that I don't even need and he'll be like 'yeah that sounds good to me' #and then I STILL won't do the thing because like. my brain keeps insisting there needs to be a grownup in charge?? HELLO I'M GROWNUP #anyway I'm doing cicada trip solo BECAUSE-- the drive is so long I want to do five days because two of them will just be driving #and he can't get that much time off work right now #AND because I literally only want to Be Camping and Looking At Bugs but he'd get bored of a week of that he likes Activities #me this morning getting insecure and weird: what are your thoughts... on cicada voyage.... #him after at first not even understanding the question: I'm SO excited for you?? you deserve to get to go absolutely feral??? #I do.... ;n; 💕 why am I so scared to be a person....... #about me #cicada journey

[itsalwaysforyou]

jafar raised jay to be slippery and selfish but jay knew there was strength in numbers and decided to trust and love and hope despite everything else. and he protects these people that he finds, the only things his father can’t take from him, his own treasure he guards like the lion’s head at the cave of wonders.

he’s the last one out, there to watch their backs, as close to them all as their own shadows. he’s their third eye, always hyper-vigilant, always on the look out. he knows when to start a fight, and when it’s best to leave it alone. it’s nearly always best to leave it alone. he wrangles them all back in, keeping them safe so they don’t have to worry about injuries or repercussions or consequences. his job is to keep them safe, and keep them alive.

and yet, in auradon, with no brawls or street fights or leering parents or turf wars or rivals or enemies, what is there to protect them from? passive aggressive comments? pastels? afternoon tea? what is a guard dog with nothing to guard? jay has built his entire life, his entire self, around servitude. if it’s not his father, it’s his gang, always the helping hand and the shoulder to cry on (metaphorically, of course) and the reassuring presence. without any of that, he is nothing.

he is the thief that gives. the boy desperate to hold on to his only sense of purpose. it’s all he knows: give enough away and they might let you stick around. chameleonic, knowing exactly who to be where and when. the charmer, the heartthrob, the villain, the protector, the liar, the snake, the attacker. anything you need. he can be anything at all, as effortless as breathing.

#ANYWAY #where the hell did that come from hello #i just think that jay having no sense of self #because his entire life has been spent giving himself away!!!! #idk like he learned from jafar that ‘love’ and ‘protection’ is conditional #he had to be good enough - had to be PERFECT #and so with the gang it’s like. he cannot afford to be anything other than that strong & unwavering anchor #he’s unfazed by everything #he makes jokes and doesn’t take things seriously bc he can’t express what he’s really feeling #he’s trying to relieve the tension #it’s shielding the true paranoia and fear and guilt he’s feeling #and GAAHHHHH. JAYYYYYYY #like he just cares So Much. all of his actions are bc he just loves his gang so much and he wants what’s best for them #and he will get that with any means possible #i could literally go on forever about him #he’s been sidelined atm bc of my new hyperfixation but i am ALWAYS ready for a jay rant #descendants #jay son of jafar

[spurgie-cousin]

HELP i just learned Mormon temple rituals are based on masonic rituals????? oh my god like........i might need to take a day off of work about this......

#also learning about the full depth of the LeBarons and blood atonement like I'm going to need a second! #this youtube channel has taught me so much in 2 hours in going to have to literally drug myself to sleep to stop watching cus y'all know ho #i am about the damn mormons #I'm also texting my husband furiously about fundie mormon sects and blood atonement when his complete understanding of Mormonism comes from #my sister wives rants and Under the Banner of Heaven which he loved but i basically had to annotate for him #the AUB is connected though so i think i can tie it all in in the morning #the lebaron family #church of the firstborn #the kingston group #the order #fundamentalist mormonism #mormons #mormonism #AUB

[anxiously-sidequesting]

Okay Girlies I need you all to answer this one question for me. I haven't played through Karamelle or Novus yet and I've only seen and heard snippets of Dasein so I don't know all that much ahout him. Reblog/tag why y'all want to fuck him- I mean marry him (or just something you really like about him)

#guys im sorry he sounds too much like someones grandfather he's so goofy /lh #i love him he's dear to my heart but more akin to a weirdly shaped cheeto you find in a bag. quirky and amusing #NOT ME THINKING ABOUT OMNIMAN'S “shes more of like a- a uh pet to me!” #THIS ISNT ME JUDGING BTW THERE IS NO JUDGEMENTAL TONE IN THIS POST #im just actually intrigued bc i wanna know more about dasein and why he's so hot to people #im probs gonna make a post about what i love most about him before and after i play through novus to compare my opinions #thats the ONLY reason why i dont talk about dasein enough bc i know next to shit about him HEKSJAKSHE #i like all the science and philosphy thay surrounds his lore and character personally #like from the scenes that ive seen him in you judt learn so much about him and the world around him through his eyes #so far it seems like he's a character that immerses you in the story extremely well. idk how to explain it its like he lives and breathes it #wizard101 #w101 #wiz101 #dasein #text posts #this post is actually so goofy because here i am like “why do you guys want to tap an old man”- #-and literally my last post was “why is the sea monster so fucking hot” JSKSMSJSJAK

[nebulouscoffee]

Me, attending the latest in a ridiculous number of funerals this year in the place of a childhood friend who couldn't be there, watching the lifeless body of an old lady who used to make me snacks in the kitchen when I was a kid be carted away forever while my friend's mother cries and tells me she's grateful I could be there because it felt like having the support of her own daughter, hugging her and talking reassuringly and not processing a single one of these emotions: ... I am going to write soooo much fanfiction about this

#''this'' being collective grief. because tbvh it's the main reason I haven't written very much this year (but will slowly start to) #I write to remind myself I am lucky. I keep telling myself this but even now when I feel awful I am so lucky #I am lucky that none of these funerals have involved very close family members or friends of mine #and I am lucky to be living in conditions with the space to write and space to grieve #and space to come together to mourn with dignity while people not that far away from me are not receiving the same privilege rn #I am lucky my dad was with me today and I spent the evening chatting with him on the terrace I am lucky he is alive I am lucky I am lucky #(apologies if this sounds like a robot malfunctioning lmao writing is just how I process things) #(and apparently I just don't seem to feel like I have the right to feel bad about any of this anywhere except my st@r trek blog hehe) #anyway. To stay on theme I shall say something about Trills :D #I imagine loss and grief must register very differently to them. very Non Linearly in the literal sense but also a highly abstract one #even I feel this massive sense of time warp between all these funerals; and this chest-crushing distance between me and my friends #how do Trills even exist #how do they wake up every day remembering all those friends and children and parents who loved them and they loved and are gone now #and still function #how does Ezri feel walking around with memories of parents that aren't hers (but were soooo much better than hers) taking care of her #does she feel comforted by them? does it feel like the people in those memories were always comforting HER specifically? #does it even matter who it belonged to originally if a memory is HERS now? #does Ezri mourn for any parents of past hosts more than she knows she will mourn for her own mother one day? #does having all this lived experience bring her reassuring amounts of perspective for a 20-something or just overwhelm her all the more? #idk; but I hope she learns to take comfort in her past hosts' memories of family eventually... #(...again. I am going to write sooooo much fan fiction about this lmao) #cw death

[prototypelq]

....while I haven't played the ubisoft avatar game myself, or more accurately, I have obsessively played the x360 one, I doubt it could be better than the Ancient Forest of Monster Hunter World.

I have. Never seen a jungle location be this layered, vertical and complex, while also remaining extremely readable. Like, there'a and easy route around the map and insides of a giant tree in the center of it, to act as a crossing or shortcut. However, the actual map is... so much more detailed than just this.

There are vine swing-jumping sections which open up new pathways for you, there are less noticeable vines to climb, which reveal new arboreal pathways ahead. There is an entire 'jungle-catwalk' section right near the dragon nest at the top of the giant tree. You cannot navigate these additional paths with map, it is much more simple and natural just to remember them and trust your memory on this.

It's just I have spawned in a rainy weather for the first time, and started exploring these vines, and this has been THE Avatar experience. Honestly no other game has ever made a more natural and interesting forest to explore than this one.

I genuinely did not anticipate this level of detail, beauty and meticulous attention to everything from a game about exterminating dinodragons. I picked it up for the Monster Hunter part of it the title, but let me tell you the World part is the actual gem of the game for me, I am in love with this.

#the joy i felt when getting through the jungle vine-swinging and exploring all while it was raining is hard to properly convey #i am super glad this is the time i stumbled into this game cause i needed exactly that #weapon upgrade tree is still stupid tho #but yeah otherwise im loving this game very very much #i want to spend an entire day petting jagras i love them #pukei the trashchild i despise and love hunting you #also that one riverbed near barroth with the flowers? i want to spend my vacation there it is so peaceful and gorgeous #thankfully the mudmonsters didn't trample the flowers #i succesfully stole a dragon egg yay i have no idea why i did it #this is very much a conquistador simulator you get to enjoy the unconwuered lands while simultaneously extracting them dry and bringing #extinction to everything living in there thankfully this is a game and it is fun but sometimes it still rubs me wrong #well learn the real monsters were humans all along #(ive heard that the lore suggests the mh organisations are actually very aware of ecological repercussions however this is not felt in game #monster hunter world #mh world #mhw #btw my cat squire is very stupid he always turns away from the camera literally always #guess thats what i get for naming him rootbeer i still love my little gremlin son he helps out a lot #unrelated - I would rather uninstall then game than ever change that skull helmet #i do really dislike that some elemental damage requires iron weapons because of that #i dont mind iron weapons but cmon insect glaive has my buddy on it he would be much more comfortable on a bone handle

[fanfic-gremlin-ft-trauma]

OOO HALLO HALLO!! Here because of that post about you being bored—not really an unpopular opinion, just want to know your opinion on him in general—thoughts on Will Solace?

ooooh okay well I haven’t actually seen enough of his character canonically (I love fanfic but idk if it’s characterised as consistently as it could be for me to make a judgement 😭) but so far I think he’s just a cutie. like, do I (and this is where I get in trouble lol) think he is the best love interest for Nico? From where I am right now… like, kinda? Idk he’s cute and I think his attitude definitely fits nicos self deprecating vibe but idk if he’d be my first choice. as a character by himself though I think he’s super cool. (also. I’d literally love to have Apollo as my godly parent so I can’t help but feel a teeeensy bit jealous of him)

#pjo #will solace #asks #unpopular op game #thank you for the asskkkkk these are fun lol #honestly I get pretty shook when I see people VIOLENTLY disliking will and calling him a dry and arc-less character like #ok from where I am he doesn’t have much depth but holy SHIT??? 😭😭 #anyway I’m super intrigued to read tsats so I can learn more about him :) (and the trials of Apollo which I literally started today ahhh)

[ramayantika]

Yes, I won't be there around you all the time. I won't be able to wipe your tears with my fingers all the time. I don't miss you as much as you do when we are apart. I roam the world, with dreams and aspirations as huge and as wide as the sky. They tell me you haven't been a good wife forget being a good lover but it is you I want to come back home to. I will not be home for months but I will send letters, ten pages long for every month with a small love poetry that will only make sense to you. When I win the world, I am a star for them, a performer and artist in their eyes, a nomad who roams around leaving pieces of their creation everywhere but it's you I choose to come back every time every night in the warm bed that you make. It's your lips that I seek to steal a kiss from and it's your embrace that would take away all the tiredness from my limbs.

#samridhi speaks #what is this #samridhi in her feels #love is a choicw #could I ever tske a break from my dreams and aspirations never? that sometimes makes me wonfer where would I stand in a family setting #especially indian famililes #sure I will bitch and cry about my work get angry and stomp my feet hard everytime I do a dance step wrong #but fuck it I love it I want all the beautiful and ugly parts with it #I want to see the world dance in it and write hundreds of poetry and stories #but it's only one person I want to come home to who knows me that my heart solely belongs to him in whole #there's so much to see so much to learn and create #I have had some boys telling me oh you would make a good girlfriend #if you break up or something and if I am singlr I would literally marry you later on #and somehow that makes me see the because oh yes a woman practicing dance is pleasing to the eye and she will be traditional #and she'll be soft hearted so yeah good bahu #what do you even know about me #I would choose dance over everything₹ #I will literally bleed cry sweat around to make things work #these guys think yeah she wears pretty dresses is a devotee of krishna and all so nice snd good no squabling #some told me you are pretty you shoulf pass your beauty to the next gen #and I was gagging internally #I want to create a legacy for every woman after me who is enriched with art wisdom and knowledge #whose face shall shine with divine wisdom from years of seeking knowledge #fuck taking breaks from career to be thst supposedly good gf or wife #my parents spend so muvh money and time fot my studies and dancing #my mother sits with me as I create and discuss dance and I would leave that all to be your idea of a good bahu and mother

[dazais-guardian-angel]

delighted that i'm so much more fond of chuuya at this point than i was just a couple years ago. it took the stormbringer play, the cannibalism play, and the fifteen manga (still haven't gotten to those two novels in their entirety, I Will Soon I Promise), it took 6ish+ years, but i can confidently say I Get It Now. Now i just need asagiri to break him (affectionate) in the manga and actually give him a character arc already <333

#i went through my own character arc okay i have Learned #still don't really get it from the pre-light novels era but i definitely get it now #he's actually written so well in those lns it's astounding. now fr if only that could be transferred to the actual manga *sigh* #if you can't tell i'm still so pissed and betrayed by the meursault arc. on all fronts lol but chuuya was one of the worst victims ughhhh #i may be hyped about this fyodor shit rn but do not mistake that as me forgetting how angry i still am over all that anticlimactic bullshit #happy birthday chuuya you really deserve so much better </3 #been thinking so much lately about what asagiri is planning for him. or if he's planning anything at all. the signs are so contradictory!!! #i know the fandom made him a huge thing from the early anime days when he probably wasn't meant to be more than an extreme side character #why? again i still don't understand (shipping. it's shipping okay; that's why i was always unfairly biased against him lmao) #but even if that's the case then he wrote the light novels that are SO GOOD so like!!!! #now there's buildup!!!! now there's expectations for him!!!!!! #you can't just never have verlaine and adam not come back in the story again at some point #in the same way that ango did from a light novel #and how oda HAS to be addressed by the end of the story #and all the lore bs in 55 minutes #just WHAT ARE YOU PLANNING WITH CHUUYA ASAGIRI. I NEED TO KNOWWWWWW #THE SIGNS ARE VERY WORRYING BUT IN A COMPELLING WAY AND I NEED THEM TO PAY OFF SO BADLY #me going literally insane lately over a character i still claim to not be one of my favorites. lmao

[fembutchboygirl]

I just learned something so incredibly fucked up

#i am trembling #i cannot let this enable my issues with paranoia further! haha! oh my fucking god #im not joking btw im literally physically trembling. how did this happen oh god oh GOD nononono dont let it get to you #i just need to know. was someone like. double dealing? was someone telling him about it #i wouldnt give a shit if they were stalking me online occasionally (well id care a little bit but honestly itd just be kinda fucked) #but if someone was telling him about me and my personal stuff? #stop. i dont want to think about it. i dont want to think it happened. i have to get this out of my head #but still. absolutely fucking deranged. #ESPECIALLY bc apparently he's been saying i “made him think he was abusive'' and that doing that was shitty of me bc he actually #just has bpd?????? #sol if you're reading this listen closely: one of my best friends has bpd. diagnosed and everything. so shut the fuck up #much like you've been saying i blamed my adhd for being neglectful (read: not meeting your sky-high standards for Truly Loving You 24/7) #you cannot blame your bpd for what a shit person you've been #repeatedly asking you to work on a flaw that's been hurting me is not telling you you're abusive you fucking prick #get a life‚ learn to care about other people away from what they can do for YOU‚ #and LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE. #p.s. imagine being mad that people who were friends with both you and your partner didnt suddenly cut the other one off after you broke up #like actually angry at these people. what the actual fuck. you're like a divorced parent upset that their child still talks to their ex-wife #my posts

[the-trans-dragon]

Hehehe >:3 got a kissie and some headpats from a pretty girl >:3 muahahahahahaha >:3

#sorenhoots #sometimes i remember that i am living the life that i ached for during lonely years #like i just get to wake up and live my gay little life??? kinda fucking awesome even if many other parts of life are very stressful #im so glad i met my wife who loves me for who i am 🥰🥰🥰🥰 and 😈😈😈 heheh then i met my other partner???? like. i thought my wife made me #the happiest i would ever be and then WOOSH i met ANOTHER person who makes me incredibly happy? i did not know the happiness could DOUBLE. #i figured it was like 0%-100% and my wife made me like 100% of my capacity for happiness and then its like 200% now and im realizing that my #capacity to experience joy and peace isnt static and frankly probably increases steadily over a lifetime as i grow and change and learn to #appreciate things more. anyways im in a content happy lil gay mood this morning :3 #my partner got to visit us recently to help us get emotionally ready for some stressful stuff but now the most stressful parts are done and #now that the stress is fading i am finding so much happiness has been in my chest waiting to burst! it was sooo good to see my partner hehe #and the situation is even cuter because my wifes partner also came to visit and my wifes partner is my partners wife also so like. adorable #symmetry. my partner and my wifes partner have another partner and if you draw out a little diagram of us you will see it is shaped like a #house :3 a square with a triangle on top :3 hehe metamours everywhere :3 super super super wonderful metamours. its literally almost like a #fairy tale to have a polycule??? like?? im so excited to live somewhere that isnt like 9 hours from them. oh my god they also have a cat and #shes the cutest. me and my wife have a cute cat also and we are like 👀👀👀 tenatively anticipating that they will get along 👀👀👀 ive #specifically worked with my cat to help her know how to behave around other cats. my neighbor is retired and does TNR on the local strays #and they get attached to her and hang out in her backyard or her house lol like one snuck in and this was before they had any cats and they #didnt know he snuck in until he hopped onto her bf's chest at night to snuggle up. and hes a big cat and if you felt him drop onto your #chest in the pitch black of night you might absolutely mistake him for a racooon or possom or some other beast. anyways he sneaks into all #the houses down the street apparently and is just kinda like “the retired people down the street”'s cat lol. and daisy would hiss and yowl #out the window at him but i always tried to show her that he is friendly (and give her treats to attempt to tell her 'he isnt a threat. have #a snack. see? if he was a threat then we would not be having snacks.' and eventually he ran into us while i was letting her outside on her #harness and!!! i was absolutely ready to defend either of them from the t #other but they just cautiously sniffed each other and then laid down. it was fascinating to observe. daisy also responds really well yo #to meeting new people :3 though she proved me wrong by hiding from some maitenence ppl recently. but then she met my metamour and was pretty #much instantly like 'oh ok ur family? sounds gok #sounds good.' so thats cute and i hope if we end up in the same house with the other cat in the polci #polycule. well i hope they get along!!! #idk what we would do if they didnt. there are lots of other housing arrangements (like renting a duplex or next-door apartments or #something) but i want them to get along anyways :3 no matter what sort of living arragement works out best. i think theyd be good for each

[kinokoshoujoart]

69 comic made me think oh yeah or just 6 for roku. Something something 6 is sechs in german vaguely pronounced sex do with that what you will thanks for attending german 102

😳 oh…. that’s very sechs……

very enlightening german lessons. i can’t wait for german 103 and have prepared a fitting rock to thank you. here is the link to the full (if you don’t mind seeing sechs, that is)

#asks #flieder-house #vielen Dank for the ask…. i am learning so much #i hope you enjoy the sex art. #like he said he just goes off so easy #rock tumbling (sos) #why is this man’s name so accidentally suitable #it means sex. it means 69. it means clown (pierrot). it means crack cocaine #which is great because every time i find new dialogue from him i exclaim ‘crack?! is it crack you smoke?!?!’ #he literally checks off all 3 of sex drugs and rock and roll #by the way ‘rock and roll’ also meant… vigorous sex before it was a music genre. sooo yea #he even makes sex jokes out of his name in french. dumb idiot baka

[strwbrymlkshake]

LOVE ME THE MOST THE MOST YOU POSSIBLY CAN!!!!!! LOVE ME THE MOST I NEED TO BE THE ONLY THING IN YOUR MIND

#mine #🎸 #vibrating at immense speeds rn ajskwkfllflwncf the MOST THE MOST ever #the only thing in your mind i need to be the BEST the most loved augh im not doing anything wrong but its still not ENOUGH #why cant i be satisfied. but at the same time LOVE ME MORE AND MORE AND MORE UNTIL LITERALLY NOTHING ELSE EXISTS #i need to add more fuel to the fire of our love but i dont know what to do exactly... clearly mentioning the issue didnt work #idk i literally want him to kill me or something i need to be consumed by love. ah all of our mutual friends are quickly going to #learn how fucking mentally ill i can get. im not ready for them to but if hes telling them these things then theyre gonna KNOW #love me more more more i thought you used to be scared of how much you loved me. obsess over me again!!!!!! #if im not the one doing anything wrong what is the problem. what is preventing you from loving me the most you possibly can!!! #if its something with me I'll just kill that part of me. ugh he wouldnt want me partaking in unhealthy thoughts like this #so what is there to do? i need to drown in the grain silo of love. there isnt enough to drown in rn though... i cant just #make him love me more. an evil oriented solution would be to make everyone hate him so he just loves me but thats a horrible thing to do #and id feel bad about it forever. so im not gonna do THAT i want him to be happy. but even when hes happy he isnt loving me intensely #i need to be desired i need to be ripped open like a phone book –_– #everyone is learning how insane abt him i am and its kind of embarrassing. well my feelings i guess. it is embarrassing to have feelings #if this whole situation was an asmr youd be listening to it willingly. but its NOT arent you supposed to like me like this #im overthinking this hes probably just depressed which is making it difficult to be insane

[forevercloudnine]

How do you feel about w/ayne f/amily a/dventures? Its obviously pretty popular in most of the batfam fandom but as someone who seems to enjoy the more complex side of them how do you feel about it?

I almost blocked my father for repeatedly sending my brother and I WFA panels in our family comics server

#occasionally i am self-aware enough to recognize my intense hatred of WFA as a form of elitism #and that there is nothing inherently wrong with dc cashing in on the legions of batfam fans who like the general concept of the characters #without wanting to read comics or in general learn literally anything about them beyond their most surface level characteristics #but yeah pretty much everything about WFA was tailor made to infuriate me as much as humanly possible #i have unfollowed mutuals for putting it on my dash too often #of course that being said: i have never read it! so i cannot actually speak to its quality as a comic #just as a general concept i have a knee jerk negative reaction to #and i'm also a hypocrite because i did reblog a cassandra + bruce thing from WFA once #but that's just a demonstration of how desperate i am for cassandra favoritism content #i know the opinion of most people who actually read comics is that 'cassandra is bruce's favorite' is a delusion of a subset of batfam fans #but dick grayson getting jealous of cassandra in batgirl (2008) was instrumental to my understanding of the characters #like yes in most functional ways dick is bruce's favorite #and bruce does often value the ways that dick is different from him!!! #but also bruce values his own priorities over All Else and cassandra shares those #and also relates to her in a way he doesn't relate to any of the others #the difference between shared trauma and shared coping mechanisms i guess #however it's also true that these things only come into play when writers remember that cassandra exists #because the average batman writer is only interested in the batboys. like that is undeniable #but idk like the rebirth outsiders run???? #when duke confesses something to cassandra and she immediately goes behind his back to tell bruce about it??? #even tim would have thought twice before doing that #and that's why cassandra is objectively bruce's favorite. case closed #this no longer has anything to do with wayne family adventures #UNLESS wayne family adventures comes to the same conclusion about bruce and cassandra somehow #anyone who reads wayne family adventures and is somehow reading these tags: please let me know