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filmfanatic82 · 4 years

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Chapter 18: O (V)

It’s gone.

The lone realization pops into Octavia’s mind like a crimson red flare blazing through a darkened sky, ripping her straight out of her dreamless slumber. Her eyes pop open, and for the briefest of moments, she forgets that she isn’t alone.

But then a gentle wave of overwhelming warmth engulfs Octavia, reminding her of the beautiful Latina that is currently asleep beside her.

Raven Reyes.

She slept with Raven Reyes.

And now…

Now, for the first time, in what seems like forever, it’s gone. That dull, gnawing sensation. The ever-present itch that resides just beneath the surface of her skin that can’t be scratched.

It’s the “It”.

The one that Octavia dares not to speak about with anyone-- not even Clarke-- in fears of the strange looks and questions it might bring about.

But now it’s nowhere to be found.

Octavia ever-so-gently extracts herself from Raven’s arms and then pushes herself up in the bed. She runs her hands through her mess of hair, quickly scooping it up into a makeshift bun and secures it in place with a spare hair tie.

Has Raven been the answer to it all along?

No.

It can’t be that simple.

But what if it is?

Raven.

Octavia sighs and glances over at Raven as a small smile of content slides across her lips. She lets her fingers ghost against the older girl’s flawless caramel-colored skin, and a barrage of thoughts flood her mind.

What now?

What will happen once Raven wakes up?

Will she regret last night?

Or even worse…

Will she wake up and act as if it never happened at all?

Octavia blinks away a stray tear as she attempts to push that last thought back down into the dark recesses of her consciousness.

The distinct sound of the front door opening and then moments later shutting cuts through the stillness of the night, grabbing Octavia’s attention. She listens in carefully as a chorus of familiar footsteps make their way up the stairs and pass right by her bedroom door. They come to an abrupt stop seconds later at which Octavia can only assume is the bedroom one door down and across the hallway from hers.

Clarke’s room.

But Clarke shouldn’t be home.

It’s too early.

She always goes back to Lexa’s house.

At least until the morning when Clarke and Lexa stumble back here to pick up her and Raven for breakfast. Or sometimes, if they’ve been at it call night, then it’s just a text saying when and where to meet up.

But never in the dead of night.

Something isn’t right.

Octavia peels the covers back and then slides out of bed, careful not to disturb Raven as she does. It isn’t until she reaches the hallway does she realize that she’s only clad her sports bra and her boxer briefs. Not that it matters. Clarke’s seen her in much less thousands of times before, and yet still, Octavia pauses.

Maybe she should go back and get clothes?

Something that she normally would wear to bed…

Something a little less conspicuous?

Would Clarke even notice?

Probably not.

If it isn’t involving Lexa or Raven, then Clarke rarely ever notices.

Or only seems to notice after the fact.

Like last year, when Octavia was unfairly targeted by their biology teacher Dr. Pike. Clarke had been all but oblivious to the ongoing issue even though the signs were right in front of her face. And Octavia would’ve have continued to suffer in silence, accepting the unwarranted bad grades and random detentions, it hadn’t been for their dad intervening.

Their dad and of course…

Raven.

Raven had been the one to tip Jake off as to what was really transpiring. Even though both swore that it wasn’t the case. That Jake had simply figured it out for himself.

But Octavia knew better.

Jake had known about the incident in class. The one where Octavia had been forced to stand in front of everyone and defend her essay on whether gender constructs were primarily defined by nature or by society. It had been not short of a 45-minute public interrogation. One that she had willingly endured without once losing her cool. And yet, in the end, it had still resulted in her failing the assignment.

And the only person who had known about it, besides those who had witnessed it firsthand, had been Raven.

Because Raven always notices.

Always.

Octavia shakes her head, bringing her barrelling train of thoughts to yet another crashing halt. She gently nudges the bedroom door open and instantly spots Clarke, curled up in a ball on top of her bed.

“Clarke?” Octavia says with nothing more than a whisper. But all that responds is the faint sound of crying.

Octavia hesitates for a brief moment, not quite sure what to do next, and then slowly inches her way into Clarke’s room. She crawls onto the bed, next to Clarke, wrapping her arms around her older sister. “What’s wrong?”

But still no words. The tears continue to fall, steady and unrelenting, wetting Octavia’s hands.

“Clarke, please…” Octavia tries her best to hide the quiver in her voice, but it’s of no use. She suddenly feels as if she’s that eight-year-old again, scared and terrified. Hiding in the back of Jake and Abby’s closet refusing to go to her mother’s funeral.

Clarke had been the one that had come and found her that day, opting to stay in the closet with her until she mustered up the courage to re-emerge and face her new reality.

“Finn.” The single word seems to echo throughout the room, instantly causing Octavia’s blood to boil. She doesn’t need to know any further details. Not when it comes to that douchebag of a human being. Octavia can paint an accurate enough picture with just his name and Clarke’s current emotional state.

“Where’s Lexa?” Octavia follows up.

“I don’t know.”

Octavia starts to gnaw on her bottom lip as the next logical question bubbles to the surface of her thoughts. It’s a question that needs to be asked. She knows it. And yet…

And yet Octavia isn’t quite sure she is prepared to hear the answer.

“Did he…” Octavia pauses as she swallows back down the lump of building emotions in the back of her throat. “Did he hurt you?”

Tears turn into full-blown sobs. Octavia wraps her arms tighter, fighting the urge to cry herself as a wave of helplessness crashes down upon her. She can feel the undiluted rage bubbling up within every inch of her body, threatening to burst forth at any given moment.

And suddenly, all other thoughts that have been plaguing Octavia’s mind over the last few hours seem to dissipate into thin air. Leaving one-- and only one-- thought left for her to fixate in on.

Finn.

Finn Fucking Collins.

He needs to pay for all the damage that he’s caused…

No matter what.

__________

Breathe.

In through the nose and out through the mouth.

Again.

And again.

Just how Indra had taught them to do during their Krav Maga training sessions.

Breathe in.

1… 2… 3… 4…

And then out.

If they can focus on maintaining their breathing, then the rest of their body will naturally follow suit.

It’s the only trick that seems to work whenever O starts to feel the tell-tale signs of the “it” re-emerging.

O exhales another deep, cleansing breath, letting the ambient sounds of the outdoor hospital courtyard wash over them. Its utter stillness is warm and comforting like they remember Abby and Jake’s bedroom closet being all those years ago. This is another one of their go-to hiding spots. Time and time again. They find themselves drawn to this particular courtyard. Their own personal sanctuary amongst the continuing chaos and uncertainty that those four walls always seemed to bring to their life.

“I knew I’d find you here,” Clarke says as she emerges from the doorway and makes her way through the courtyard. O doesn’t respond, but simply scoots over on the wooden bench, making room for Clarke to sit down next to them. Clarke lets out a sigh and then runs her hands through her messy blonde locks. “Surprised more people don’t come out here. It’s way better than that atrium off of the lobby.”

“It’s the location. The atrium is cross from the gift shop. Everyone visits the gift shop. No one really visits the meditation lounge,” O replies motioning to the small sign of a person sitting cross-legged through the doorway.

“Good point. How’d you figure that one out?”

O shrugs. “One too many hours spent here.”

“Seriously…” Clarke says under her breath in agreement. O looks over at Clarke and quirks their head at this response causing Clarke to second guess her words. “What?”

“Nothing. I just wasn’t expecting that. Thought you loved this place since you’re in med school and all.”

Clarke lets out a harsh laugh. “Love this place? Not even close. Most days I can’t stand it.”

O’s brow furrows in confusion. “If you can’t stand it, then why are you interning here?”

“I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?”

Clarke shakes her head. “Stupid, right? I honestly have no clue why. I picked pre-med cause that’s what I thought I was supposed to do. Or at least according to Abby I was. And then after undergrad comes med school, so I just went with it because--”

“It was easy,” O finishes Clarke’s thought with a nod of their own.

“Yeah. Way easier than having to take the time to figure out what I really want.”

“I get that.”

“Okay my turn for a question,” Clarke says, giving O a nudge in the shoulder as she does. “Why’d you drop out of college?”

“I dunno,” O mumbles. They awkwardly start to fidget, drawing circles in the gravel below with their beat-up Converse sneakers. They can feel Clarke’s warm blue eyes upon them, patiently waiting, but can’t seem to be for the life of themselves to look up and match them.

It’s Clarke.

By all accounts, their older sister.

One of the few, steady constants in their life that will be there for them, regardless of the situation or how badly they fuck things up.

But what if the truth is too much?

What if she doesn’t understand?

Their relationship hasn’t been the best for quite a while now. Definitely not since their dad died… and, if they’re honest, it was strained long before that.

O had watched as their once bursting-with-life sister, faded away into nothing more than a shell of a person but had never done anything about it. Nor even had brought it up. Talking about it would have meant running the risk of addressing all the elephants hiding in the room and that…

That was too terrifying for words.

“Is it the same reason you and Lincoln broke up?” Clarke asks, causing O to shrink even further into themselves. O offers up the tiniest of shrugs and continues to draw circles with the toes of their shoes. “Is it cause you’re non-binary?”

The question lingers in the space between them, heavy and foreboding.

There it is.

The truth.

Stripped down and bare.

The core of all of their continuous struggles and never-ending issues.

Clarke knows?

But how?

“Hey…” O feels the weight of Clarke’s hand press down upon the top of their thigh and then gives it a reassuring squeeze. “You can talk to me. You know that, right?”

O stops with the circles. Uncontrollable tears whelm up in the corners of their eyes as their internal dam finally crumbles, letting loose a tidal wave of long-repressed emotions. They slowly look up to find a familiar set of teary blue eyes staring back at them.

And before O can manage to their find their words, Clarke engulfs them in a bone-crushing hug. They melt, fully embracing the long-forgotten sense of security and safety that only Clarke could provide them with. The tears fall harder, and O does nothing to stop it.

It’s been a long time coming.

Too long.

Clarke lovingly strokes the top of O’s head and then runs her fingers over the stubble, drawing soothing circles as she does. “I really did mean it when I said I liked this.”

O sniffs back their tears. “You did?”

“Of course I did,” Clarke smiles through tears of her own. “You look… I don’t know… You look more like you. If that makes any sense.”

“It does.” O smiles back. “It’s still all kinda new, but I’m working on it.”

“Well, as dad used to say, we’re all a work in progress, right?” Clarke takes a moment to wipe away the tears from her eyes and O nods. “So… Let’s do this.”

“Do what?”

“Talk. You and me. And no holding back either. Nothing is off-limits. Tell me everything.”

“Everything?”

“Yes, everything. I’m so freakin’ done with the not talking,” Clarke responds with a laugh. “And I promise, no judgments, okay? I love you, no matter what.”

“Okay.” O’s smile grows infinitely larger upon these words.

“Good. Now let’s start with the basics. Pronouns. They/them?”

“Yeah… But I get it if that’s too hard to--”

“Stop,” Clarke says, cutting her off. “It’s not hard at all… Done. What else? Are you binding?”

O shakes their head. “No, but I’ve looked into it. Just don’t have the cash right now to buy a decent one.”

“Then it sounds like you and I have a shopping trip in our near future.”

“Clarke…”

“What? I bought you your first bra, didn’t I? I get the honor of buying you your first binder,” Clarke replies. “Unless you want Abby to take you?”

O instantly tenses up. “God, no.”

“Does she know?”

“No,” O responds as their teeth sink into their bottom lip. “Not really. I haven’t said anything to her. Raven did mention something about not calling me “she” when she came to check in on her, but I don’t think she put two and two together…”

“Knowing Abby, she definitely didn’t… You’re going to need to flat out tell her face-to-face.”

O sighs with impending dread.

Clarke’s right.

But deep down inside they already knew that.

When it comes to their mom, there’s no avoiding the inevitable. Everything that doesn’t align perfectly with her own vision of what they should and shouldn’t be doing with their life results in a verbal knockdown, drag-out fight.

Acceptance just isn’t a word that easily fits within Abby’s vocabulary…

“I’ll do it with you.”

“What?”

“Talk to Abby,” Clarke replies. “I’ll come with you.”

“You will?” And O can’t help but sound like they’re ten years old, voice cracking with a sliver of hopefulness.

“Of course. No one deserves to face Abby alone.” Clarke rises off of the bench and then offers her hand to O.

“What? Like now?” O asks. They take Clarke’s hand in slight confusion.

Clarke shrugs and runs her hands through her hair once again with a determined exhale of air. “Why not? Apparently, today is national rip the band-aid off day, so we might as well.”

With that, Clarke starts to walk back towards the doorway, leaving O no other choice but to follow suit.

__________

“This is a bad idea,” O blurts out. They stop short at the sight of the ominous set of tall wooden doors only a few feet away from them, and their eyes can’t help but fixate on the single name embossed in bold black letters.

Dr. Abigail Griffin, Chief of Medicine.

“Absolutely,” Clarke replies as she joins O in front of the office doors. “But there’s no alternative.”

“I could always pull a Bellamy and write her an email.”

Clarke shoots O a more than skeptical look. “An email? O, do you remember how Abby reacted to that? She tried to get Marcus to use his connections with the governor to get Bellamy’s passport revoked.”

“Right…” O sighs in resignation. “No emails.”

“Definitely no emails.”

“What about--”

“O…” Clarke gently grabs hold of O’s arm, snapping their attention away from the door. “We’re doing this. You and me. Okay? No more avoiding.”

O nods, in response, unable to find their words, and then with a sudden burst of confidence reaches forward and knocks on the office door. They wait in the awkwardly painful silence for a moment or two for a sign-- any sign-- that they’re welcome to proceed, but nothing ever comes.

“Maybe we should come back? Maybe she’s not--”

“She’s there,” Clarke cuts her off with an exhale of air. “Post- lunch, Abby always spends at least 45 minutes in her office catching up on emails. Unless there’s a major surgery scheduled. And I already checked with Jackson earlier. He said there’s nothing on the board for today, so she’s in there. Abby lives and dies by her routine.”

O nods again, and without any further hesitation, Clarke reaches for the doorknob and pushes the door open to the office.

And just as Clarke predicted, Abby is sitting there, behind her behemoth of a desk, so deeply engrossed in whatever is on her computer screen that she doesn’t seem to notice that she is no longer alone.

“Jackson, I told you, I need another good 30 minutes. So tell Richards he can--” Abby says, never once looking up.

“Mom,” Clarke says as she and O make their way fully into the office. “It’s us.”

Startled, Abby stops reading and finally glances up. “Clarke? Octavia? What are you girls doing here? I thought I told Harper to get you all set up in the residents’ lounge?”

O visibly flinches at these words.

There it is again.

Their full name. Every last syllable of it.

But is it really their name anymore?

Or is it just another relic from a former life that no longer fits?

And the misgendering as well.

Like a dash of salt to an already agitated wound.

“Okay, A. we’re not twelve, so there’s no need to set us up with anything,” Clarke says, already unable to hide the annoyance in her voice.

“Clarke…”

“And B. It’s O. Clarke and O. Not Clarke and Octavia.”

Abby gives a poignant eye roll and then pinches the bridge of her nose for added effect. “I don’t have time for a game of semantics. If your sister wants to be called only by her nickname, then--”

“It’s not a nickname,” O interrupts, stopping Abby dead in her tracks. “It’s… It’s my name. O. Not Octavia.”

O feels Clarke’s hand silently slip into theirs and gives it a reassuring squeeze of encouragement. They take a deep breath and swallow down the lump of uncertainty rising within their throat. “And I’d prefer it if you didn’t use she or her when referring to me.”

“Then what the hell am I supposed to use?” Abby fires back. “He/him?”

“No. They/them.”

“That’s ridiculous,” Abby scoffs, and O feels a second, more predominant squeeze from Clarke.

“Abby…” Clarke growls.

“Don’t ‘Abby’ me, Clarke. I’ve more than humored the countless acts of rebellion that both of you girls have put me--”

“Are you even listening? They just asked you not to use female pronouns.”

“I heard that.”

“That includes the terms ‘girls’ too, Mom.”

“Jesus.” Abby lets out another exasperated sigh. “I’m not doing this. Not here. Not today. If you want to sit down and talk like grown adults, then I’m more than happy to do schedule some time for all of us to chat this weekend at home.”

“Schedule some time? Do you even hear yourself?”

Now it’s O’s turn to squeeze Clarke’s hand. They can see the tell-tale warning signs from a mile away. One or two more verbal jabs and a nuclear implosion of epic portions is all but guaranteed.

And as much as their heart is bursting at the moment with undiluted love and admiration for their older sister, they know that nothing good will come from continuing to hammer home this point. But Clarke is notoriously stubborn… Especially when it comes to anything remotely involving Abby.

“Clarke… Just drop it,” O pleads under her breath, but Clarke pretends not to hear it.

“Clarke Abigail Griffin. You are treading on very thin ice, young lady. If your father was--”

“Was what? Alive? If dad were alive, he sure as hell wouldn’t be suggesting that we ‘schedule time’ to talk. In fact, we wouldn’t even be having this conversation to begin with. He would’ve just gotten it. Like he always did with everything.”

“That’s a pretty bold assumption, even by your standards,” Abby replies, words dripping with sarcasm. “You don’t even have the first clue what your father would or wouldn’t have accepted--”

“Dad knew,” O blurts out, give both Clarke and Abby an instant case of whiplash. They stare at them, each one wearing a similar look of sheer puzzlement.

“He knew?” Clarke asks, eyes searching O’s for any inkling of an answer.

O nods as a hint of a smile appears upon their face. “Yeah. We never really talked about it. Not in specifics or anything. But he knew. Dad stopped calling me Octavia two years before he passed.”

Clarke matches O’s smile with one of her own. “He knew.”

Blindsided with the sudden overwhelming urge to fill in the blanks even further for their sister, O goes to open their mouth, but before they can even utter another single word, the office door bursts open.

“Dr. Griffin!” Jackson shouts, frantic and slightly out of breath.

“Jackson?” Abby questions as her whole demeanor instantly flips into chief mode.

“We’ve been trying to reach you,” Jackson glances over towards Clarke and O and then back at Abby. “We need you. Now. Room 315 just coded.”

Room 315.

The number slices through O’s soul, leaving a path of invisible destruction in its wake.

It’s Raven’s room.

Abby springs up from her desk and without a moment’s hesitation, bolt for the door with Jackson right on her heels.

“O…” Clarke says, with a voice suddenly filled with dread and fear.

“It’s Raven.”

#clexa #clexa fanfic #octaven #clarke griffin #lexa woods #raven reyes #octavia blake #the 100 #wlw #ao3 #fanfic

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ruffiorocks · 5 years

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Glee season 4 episode 5 Will is an emotional manipulator!

Sooo first off Finn is having a pity party, he thinks working for Burt in the tire shop is somehow degrading? Even though if I remember correctly last season Burt was talking about letting him run the place. Finn also makes a joke about wanting to be crushed by a car in front of ARTIE of all people!

Oh look the graduates are back at the school again, that's not creepy at all. So glad Sue eventually points this out down the line!

Will and Emma are having a counseling session with Coach Beaste of all people? Will opens being the jack ass he is and starts talking about the arts being underfunded, Emma says she isn't disputing that and Will looks pissed off that she's even dared to have a difference of opinion. He doesn't even let her finish talking, before he ends her sentance for her saying their relationship with grow through this experience and it isn't just a oxne in a lifetime opportunity for him but for both of them, and that Emma is dismissing this. Emma says she feels Will assumes she is just going to drop everything and play the part of the dutiful 1950e housewife. While Emma is saying this, the same thing she said last time Will isnt even hiding the fact he is rolling his eyes ans isn't interested in what she had to say. Even though this is quite literally what he expected her to do the last time they discussed this.

Emma talks about how her life, her dreams are somehow secondary to his and he is STILL rolling eyes and scoffing at her every word.

Beaste makes some sport analogy, and compares the relationship to her and her ex, but that was a realationship with physical abuse which isn't the same thing. But she does tell them to take a step back

Emma opens her mouth to talk and Will cuts her off once again, and OH he's admitting he made a mistake when they first talked about it. No he's being the 'nice guy' again and asking her not to look sad and is declaring his love for her, "no matter where we go or what we do I want us to be together, this time its Washington, next time it's anywhere you want to go'. This isn't Will being 'nice' or admitting he was wrong, this is emotional manipulation and him trying to get what he wants because he just can't see past his own desires.

He then says 'im asking my partner ,my equal partner to join me? Will you consider it?" This is just more emotional manipulation and he makes sure there is an audience in Beaste, so it's real hard for Emma to say no, she says yes and you can see she isn't happy about it at all, but Will is to happy he got what he wanted to even notice. Thankfully Beaste HAS noticed! At least someone has!

Other notes:

Marley, sweet angel Marley tells Wade 'Unique' she's in the girls bathroom, but Wade says she sits when she pees and Marley is instantly 💯 % fine with with this. Wade says she ways to play Rizzo, ans drag isn't just an act to her, Marley again is 💯% on board with this. Unfortunately Sue is there 😑.

Hahahaha Sue can't find a bad name for Marley and resorts to 'absolutey stunning, kind, faced blue eyed girl".

Ok, so Sue calls Wade a boy and isn't on board with her playing Rizzo. But wasn't it Sue just last season that wanted Kurt to dress up like a woman for Nationals because Wade has dressing up like a woman? I feel this is a little out of character for Sue, and they just reverted back to her being prejudice so they could someone against Wade. I won't even go into the horrible rant about gender, being trans, being in drag etc that Sue launches into because it's horrible, out of character even for Sue and I'm willing to bet wouldn't be allowed to be said today.

Wade and Marley singing P!nk 😍😍 Marley's 'rock look' is amazing and I wish we had seen more of it.

Naww Ryder is lovely to Marley, who is immediately lovely to him. Ryder is also the second person (aside from Marley) who speaks of her mother with respect. Ryder also immediately doesn't give a crap about Kitty, unlike Jake who dated her regardless of how awful she was to Marley.

Jake only auditions for the musical with the very person who is making Marley's life hell because he can't stand the fact Marley could be into the actual nice guy Ryder. He uses the pretence that it's to stop Kitty killing Marley but he's really just creepy and possessive.

Also...WHY are the known bullies allowed in the musical at all?!! No wonder the Glee kids have issues! Their safe place is never safe for long because no one cares the bullies are there as long as the show is good.

Finn "I don't see what the big deal is, if Unique Identifies as a girl and dresses as a girl she should be allowed to play one on stage' yes Finn! Finally you're out of your pity party and making some sense, NOT Artie who scoffed at Wade playing Rizzo and scoffed at Marley being Sandy because she's brunette?? No Artie would prefer the known school bully to be rewarded with the lead over the lovely angel that is Marley.

Ooh no!!!! Finn used the R word to describe baby Robin!! Two steps forward MILES backwards! Sue maybe being an ass right now about casting Wade, but going after her baby girl was beyond uncalled for. Figgins should have kicked Finn out of the school for that, this is Sue's place of work, Finn just proved he shouldn't be influencing kids and he doesn't even belong there!

Where was Will during all this? Oh yeah just sat there not giving a shit because is to wrapped up in himself to notice whats going on with 'his' kids.

Now back to Emma, who's restored to freaking about germs because Will is stressing her out. Beaste tells her lying is the worst thing (besides violence) someone can do in a relationship and tells her she knows Emma doesn't want to go to Washington. No Coach, do you know what's worse than being forced into agreeing to something that you don't want to do? It's your partner emotionally manipulating you into agreeing and making you think you're in the wrong for ever disagreeing in the first place. But thankfully Beaste does tell her she should tell Will she doesn't want to go. But then takes a step backwards and tells Emma that Will loves her, and that Emma spent so much time trying to be Will's girls she's forgotten why Will fell for her. NO! Emma literally says she can't get in the ways of Will's dreamsmy because that's what Terri did, that's because Will never shuts up about how Terri treated him, which manipulates Emma into trying her hardest not to disagree with him. I'm so sick of people thinking Will is a 'nice guy' who just loves everyone. Poor Emma needed some real support here, not to be guilt tripped by Will and Beaste.

Side note: Tina is right when she said she was fine with Mike and her breaking up, but he could have given her a heads up and let her know he would be invading her space at school and helping with the school musical. No one cares about poor Tina! The most neglected character ever!

Marley and Ryder just want to dance, Jake and Kitty just want to be dickheads. Jake's creepy possession over Marley really gets going here, to the point he's stopping her dancing with Ryder and picking a fight with him. So starts Jake's decline into being an arsehole.

Yay Marley and Ryder got the leads, because they deserve it! They aren't dickheads!

Kitty is fat shaming Marley and her mum. No one! Not one member of the Glee club , Finn or any past students speak up for her at all!! This is the beginning of Marley's body issues!

Emma is freaking out cooking and is having basically a panic attacks, all because of Will!! But she finally says she doesnt want to go to Washington, he is NOT happy, but at least he's listening. Now??? Now he decides to listen to what she has to say? Oh and now he's the 'nice guy' again. Poor Emma, stuck with this arsehole.

Will actually thinks if he doesn't go to Washington the arts will fail in America?? Yeah full of yourself much?? Will also leaves Finn in charge of Glee club, the guy who shot himself with a gun, called Sue's baby the R word and is watching bullying happen before his very eyes and is doing NOTHING about it!!

Conclusions?

The graduates spend too much time at their old highschool!

The bullies are allowed to bully with no consequences, even rewarded. The victims have no safe haven because it's infiltrated by the bullies and as long as they can sing and dance no one care about what the bullying is doing to the good kids like Marley who will eventually become bulimic and no one notices.

Jake is becoming creepy and possessive.

Beaste has fallen for Will's 'nice guy' act.

Finn Hudson should have kicked out of the school the moment the called on of the teachers babies by the R word!

Sue is totally out of character, shes against Wade but late says it's for her protection and states how she had LGBT both boys and girls on the Cheerios.

Figgins is useless.

Tina is neglected!

Will Shuester basically abusive to Emma, it's emotional abuse. He doesn't care about her outside of what she can do for him. He doesn't even let her finish sentance, he tries to make decisions for her and emotional manipulates and guilt trips her into agreeing with him when she is clearly uncomfortable, resulting in an OCD Episode. He then acts like he's OK with not going to Washington, because he didn't winning this one and is being the 'nice guy' again.

Will Shuester is a jackass!!

#glee #anti will shuester #emma pillsbury #anti finn hudson #artie abrams #tina cohen chang #marley rose #jake puckerman #sue sylvester #wade unique adams #ryder flynn #kitty wilde

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travllingbunny · 5 years

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The 100 rewatch: 1x01 Pilot

I’m a new fan of The 100, who first binged it last year, August to November. This is my first full rewatch of the show. I was planning to start it anyway and finish it before the season 6 premiere on April 30, and when I saw that Fox Serbia was airing a rerun (Monday to Friday, 40 min. after midnight, with repeats the next day), starting on 1st February, it was a great opportunity to start my rewatch in HDTV on my beautiful new TV. I decided to do write-ups and tag other fans on SpoilerTV website, as I did when I was first watching the show. But my posts turned into full blown essays. So, finally, after over a week, I’ve realized: Why don’t I post them on my Tumblr blog, too? I’ll copy my write-ups of the first 7 episodes, and then I’ll post my rewatch posts after I watch each episode. (The next one, 1x08, is on Monday’Tuesday.)

Spoilers below for all 5 seasons of the show. I go of on a tangents and make a lot of references to future events.

Rating: I'd give the Pilot 4/10, maybe 4.5/10 if I'm generous.

Episode opens on Clarke's voiceover. The first mention of how Ark came to be. There were "12 nations" with stations in the beginning, 97 years earlier, and the current Ark is "one station forged from the many". Which begs some questions: how did they manage to make everyone on the Ark speak English (and in American accents), why are they so culturally uniform? Did they try to do it by force? And why did big powers like China and Russia go along with it? But world-building has never been this show's strength. The opening scene shows Clarke drawing, and focuses on her father's watch. Some facts I had forgotten - the cells on the Ark were called "Skybox". Clarke says she is turning 18 in a month. This means she turned 18 sometime in late season 1 and was about 18 and a half year old in season 4. In season 5, she should be about 24 and a half year old. Abby is the first other major character to appear. Abby to Clarke "Your instincts will tell you to take care of everyone else first, like your father", stressing that this is the similarity between Clarke and Jake. "I can't lose you, too, I love you so much" First appearance of Jaha - on the video played to the Delinquents on the dropship. The kids comment: "your dad's a dick, Wells". Yes, he is. "If we knew for sure the Earth was survivable, we would send others. You are being sent down because your crimes have made you expendable". Oh god, he's awful. He became a more enjoyable character in season 4, just because of his interactions with other characters, but he's always been an a-hole. Jaha tells the kids to go to Mount Weather, explains what it is and that it has supplies for about 300 people to survive for 2 years. I had completely forgotten that there were so many Mount Weather references. This was clearly a storyline that was planned from the beginning. The first casualties on the show - 2 Delinquents who imitated Finn's stupid behavior on the dropship, but, unlike him, were killed when the ship crash-landed. When they land, it turns out they landed on a wrong mountain, instead of Mount Weather, due to a technical error. Who knew that this was the luckiest thing that ever happened to them? Clarke and Wells later insist that the kids should go to MW ASAP and find supplies. Every time someone in the episode talks about Mount Weather and says things like "We have to find Mount Weather to survive", it's so ironic now. No, you need to run as far from Mount Weather as possible. Run, run, fast, and don't turn back. At the end of the episode, they try to cross the river, and Jasper even finds a Mount Weather sign. In retrospect, they are so lucky they did not go through with it, after Jasper got speared, but who was to know? Kane looks so young compared to his season 5 self. And it's funny to see early Kane, who was kind of a bad guy. He's so pessimistic and insisting on ruthless solutions as necessary, a total opposite of where his views end up later. But the one consistent trait is that he's always been so stubborn about sticking to whatever course of action he thinks is best, and even naive about it. At this point, he's all about sticking to the rules. And here's Shumway, who seems to want the culling to happen even more than Kane does. I never understood what the supposed difference in policy was between Diana and Jaha. Diana was claiming to be fighting for the rights of the underprivileged? But Shumway is working for her, and wants the culling to happen, Jaha and Kane are intending for the culling to happen... What's the difference? They're all the same. Shumway is also the one to tell Kane about Bellamy's shooting of Jaha - and Kane says they have a traitor. Shumway close-up, he says nothing. Foreshadowing. Scene between Kane and Abby near the end of the episode. Kane says he's the only one willing to do what needs to be done so they survive. Abby: "That's the difference between us, Kane. I choose to make sure we deserve to stay alive." Ironic how they'll end up switching positions during the Dark Year. But then Abby starts hating herself over what she has become. The thing I liked best about the Pilot the first time was that it was really good at explaining the premise and getting a lot of info across, without clunky exposition. Oh god, about half of the Pilot was sooo cheesy. Most of the scenes with kids on Earth are so teen-soapy. That's why I initially preferred the stuff on the Ark (but then a few episodes later, I felt the exact opposite). Especially 90% of Octavia's lines in the Pilot are so cringey,I remember I only found it to be 'just OK' at the time I first watched it, good enough to keep watching, but I only got hooked around 1x05 when it started losing most of its CWness. But now, after having seen the rest of the show, the tone is so weird - so teen-soapy. I guess the first time, I expected the show to be like that, because of the channel it's on - a teen-soap take on post-apocalyptic SciFi. The pop songs and the scenes with kids enjoying the Earth were so corny but I guess they were meant to be, to make the contrast bigger when something bad suddenly happens, like Jasper getting speared at the end of the episode. Or that mutant deer, that was a good scene. Funny that we never get to see any of the scary nature stuff again. What happened to the man-eating water snake? The show pretty much forgets all of that later, because we get human antagonists on Earth. I also probably blanked out a lot of the cheesy teen-soapy stuff the first time, because I wasn't interested, since I didn't even remember some of it. All the potential pairings and flirtations that went nowhere now seem so random and funny. They were clearly just throwing anything to the wall to see what sticks. Who remembers that Octavia used to have a thing for Finn in the Pilot and said "Finn is mine" to Clarke, and he briefly flirted with her? Then there was Jasper's crush on Octavia, but that one actually did last a bit longer in season 1. The show really seemed to be trying to make Finn the main heartthrob. Of course, Finn's main interest was flirting with Clarke non-stop and following her around all the time. The fact he started hitting on her immediately in the dropship really makes him look bad now (whether or not that was initially intended - since they probably still hadn't planned for Raven's character to exist.)

And look, here's Kelly Hu as Kane's girlfriend/Abby's best friend, who was clearly supposed to be one of the mains, and then completely disappeared without explanation after the Pilot. Kelly Hu was even in the main credits for the Pilot, right after Bob Morley, who was credited 6th - after Eliza and Paige and Thomas McDonnel and Eli Goree and after Marie. Which pretty much fits their screentime in the Plot. I doubt they were expecting Bellamy to become the male lead, Finn and Wells were clearly treated as the male leads. Speaking of Bellamy - AARGH, that terrible slicked-back hair! My eyes, my eyes!!! I remember now why I had such mixed feelings about him in the Pilot, unlike others who said they hated him. I mean, he was clearly meant to be seen as an antagonist at this point, but most of the things he says about the privileged and the elite on the Ark is true. I still think that the Ark leaders were the first villains introduced on the show. They sucked. Even if we weren't supposed to see them as villains, and even if some of them later changed and developed (Kane). I wasn't sure how much of what Bellamy said was just him using that rhetoric to manipulate the kids. but the first time he says "let the privileged do something for a change", he said it before he learned about the wristbands. So, some of that anger was sincere. (And it was certainly justified.) A bit later we see Bellamy listening carefully and formulating a plan as Clarke is explaining to the kids that the wristbands are transmitting their life signs to the Ark.

I don't know where the later idea of Bellamy as a completely hotheaded guy who can't act in a strategic or manipulative comes from. One of the first things we saw him do in the show was manipulate a bunch of younger people into something that would help him not get caught and executed by the Ark leaders, so he could stay and protect his sister. That's what he's doing for the fist few episodes. The first kids he convinces to take the wristbands off and make others do the same are Murphy and John Mbege. It's funny that Mbege's role was at this point almost as big as Murphy's. We still haven't seen Harper or Miller.

So many scenes of conflict between Bellamy and Wells in this episode. It seems like they probably meant for that dynamic to be an important one going forward, with the two of them as foils. "See you on the other side". Oh, god. Those lines will never be the same. It's actually Finn who said it first when he was about to cross the river by rope, but then Jasper went first to impress Octavia, and said that line for the first time. And here comes the spear. "We are not alone". Well, duh. But Clarke had to say that line for a very Lost-like ending to the Pilot. Geez, I can see how this bunch of clueless, silly kids with no weapons, fooling around, looked like such a dangerous invading force to the Grounders who saw them. Yes, the season 5 comparison between them and the heavily armed mass murderers from Eligius who immediately tried to kill the first people they ran across, was soooo apt... *sigh*.

#the 100 #the 100 rewatch #the 100 1x01 #clarke griffin #bellamy blake #octavia blake #abby griffin #marcus kane #jasper jordan #wells jaha

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dylanobrienisbatman · 6 years

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Rewatch: Episode 1x08, Day Trip

Some of our best commentary from our rewatch

Why does Clarke mention never having ‘floated in the water’ in her little monologue? it seems weird. Like not, felt the breeze in her hair, or seen plants, or felt the grass on her feet? Bri got us thinking about this.

Bellarke was a perfect ship and then Clarke went bonkers and ruined it all.

We got strangely into the minutia this week.

Bellamy sitting there staring at Lincoln, the GUILT in his face. god, we love our sad son.

Why does Miller get that job, telling parents their kids died?

Bri just reminded us to mention how pretty s1 Bellamy is. Very important

Miller getting head butted is so fucking funny.

Where did they get a camera, for that video chat??

Bri said probably the art supply store lol

Always all up in the Jonty feels during s1.

We’re all so pumped for High Jonty

Shumway is the fucking worst.

Octavia is such a petulant child, we love it. S1 Octavia gets to be a part of Pettykru.

Her little “why do you even care, if i ruined your life”... man, siblings.

Bellamy is such a grumpy boy. He needs to find a book and chill out.

Elyse said he’s grumpy because there are no books.

We love our Grumpy Boy™

Bellamy Blake, at it again with the iconic lines

Seeing Monty just makes us sad

EW RAVEN FINN SEX IS THIS EPISODE.

Raven bby leave him you deserve so much better.

Finn needs to stop being stressed about Clarke when his peRFECT GIRLFRIEND RAVEN REYES IS RIGHT THERE.

Octavia asks Lincoln “its good right” when she giving him a drink. Babe.. Honey.. its WATER. he has definitely had it before.

Elyse reminded us that she was never properly socialised. We will give her a pass.

The line about Bellamy being a dick always makes me laugh, its so true. I love my dickhead son.

A Necessary™ shot of Ricky Whittles Abs.

Octavia taking responsibility for something? are we hallucinating? did WE ingest jobi nuts?

Octavia being Petty again, but Raven is such an adult.

Why are Raven and O always best friends in fics? like obviously no shade on any fic writer your stuff is always amazing everyone, but the show never really digs into that friendship, far as we can remember. They actually kind of actively dislike each other for a while.

I said i wanted to Vom about finn, and Elyse told me to drown him with it. So thats gross.

RAVEN GET AWAY FROM HIM YOU DESERVE BETTER.

Clarke talking about the dirty bunker, such a princess

Bellamy is so grumpy about the blankets? like dude. Chill.

He DOES chill, almost immediately, upon finding guns. the nerd. He’s like a kid on christmas. that smile is blinding.

High Jonty is the best Jonty tbh.

Monty is such a calm stoner. Just wants to hug the Earth.

The camera angles used in this to show us that they’re all high is so cool.

this is such an awesome episode all around.

THE ANTI GROUNDER STICK.

Octavia definitely only knows slang because her entire socialisation is a bunch of teenage criminals.

Miller definitely doesn’t have siblings because if he did he would have never ever trusted those nuts Octavia gave him. His lack of suspicion is entirely because he doesn’t have a sister.

INTENSE keysmashing over the bellarke gun shoulder touch. THROWN BY THE INTIMACY OR SOMETHING RIGHT?!?!

They banter like an old married couple “we NEED to do this” “No we NEED to do that” lol.

WHy couldn’t bellamy have a nice happy trip like Monty. poor sad boy.

The difference in everyone’s trip was really awesome as a narrative choice

How is Clarke not MORE messed up after a year in solitary.

okay we all love the ‘i can’t change the tide’ line, but i never noticed that when he comes into Finn and Raven’s tent, he starts with “Is the moon in here?” lmfao monty is an angel

Raven making finn come out because everyone is so high is so funny.

Clarke is so YOUNG. Like sometimes we all forget how young she was in the first season. Shes literally 17, season 1 doesn’t even go a whole month and in episode 1 she says she doesn’t turn 18 for another month.

She just misses her dad, its so sad.

They’re all just kids! Even Bellamy is only like 22/23 which is just about our age.

Clarke being such a Teenger™ to her halucinated!Dad is so funny

Okay but actually how old is Lincoln supposed to be?

I have made Bri reevaluate the entirety of Linctavia.

“The most beautiful broom, in a broom closet, of brooms” and then the kid just sort of hums at her. What a great Raven line. @the-most-beautiful-broom we miss you <3

On first watch we were definitely all nervous that Lincoln wouldn’t get away. This is one of Finn’s few good moments.

Elyse pointed out that Finn is like two separate characters, and Bails (no surprise) mentioned how they talk about that a lot in the @metastation podcast, about how they just sort of attribute random traits to Finn to fit his plot line. Go listen to the podcast, especially for s1.

Jaha’s line “You want the peace of death” is so intense and well delivered.

Bell saves Clarke, Clarke saves Bell, they save each other, they forgive each other, god s1 Bellarke is so alsdhfinsakldmjsdkjfh

Bullet to the neck Bell? *Jake Peralta Voice* Smort

Augh the forgiveness scene

Forgiveness... can you imagine. Hamilton references are always necesary.

Bellamy is SO SAD AUGH.

He just wants to be the man his mom raised him to be (our thoughts on aurora blake are... not so positive but its still super sad.)

We all just wanted to cry because Bell is so so sad.

Can they please ACTUALLY parallel the forgiveness moment in s6, and not this half assed shit they did at the end of s5? because thats not forgiveness.

God these babies need a nap.

Monty the Pine Cone Eater

“They’ll kill us” “Or Worse!” Okay, random kid... whats Worse? exactly?

That synchronised Power Couple Strut™ and dropping of the guns, the epic power couple speech. Iconic.

Bellamy definitely made them practice this before they went in. “No clarke, you gotta say it like this”. He’s a Drama Hoe. We love our Drama Hoe.

For real though, even with all the problems they have later, the way they actually write the Blake Siblings is so good. They feel like real siblings. There are a lot of shows that write siblings that you can just tell the writer doesn’t have siblings and didn’t ask anyone’s advice. But the Blakes have that dynamic of like “I’ll definitely kill you, but if anyone else says a bad word about you, I’ll kill THEM.” They have this petulant back and forth, but its always sort of underlined with this deep love. The writers know how to write a sibling relationship. Even when it becomes abusive and terrible later, that sort of weird dynamic is still there. Problematic, but the dynamic is well done.

Finn is so high up on his own pedastal. Bellamy tortured Lincoln to SAVE YOU. How are you gonna shit all over him for it. How are you gonna question him like that.

Clarke saying she trusts Bellamy is so lakdhjflsjhafkd;sa

Finn is such a fucking tool.

The whole scene where Bellamy and Clarke talk to Jaha is so amazing

The scene where Diana kills shumway is intense.

Kills: Bellamy: 1 Diana Sydnee: 1 Attempts: Dax: 1

“How many times did we talk about hating Finn” Tally: 6

Countdown till Raven meets Zeke: 6 years 6 months and 15 days, 56 episodes.

Times Bailey mentions the @metastation podcast (because she has a problem): 2

Times Octavia takes actual responsibility: 1

How many times we called Octavia Sneaky: 5

Times Clarke’s Canon love interest is jealous of her relationship with Bellamy: 1

Countdown to Finn’s Death: 26 days, 13 Episodes

@granger--danger @raven-reyes-of-sunshine

#the 100 #the 100 1x08 #pettykru rewatch #pettykru rewatch 1x08 #Day Trip #Bellarke

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blindfoldxx · 6 years

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AT FINALE THOUGHTS

OHHHHHHHHHHHMYGOODNESS.

OKAY. SO I JUST FINISHED WATCHING THE AT SERIES FINALE AND…. HOOOOOOOOOO BOY. I just sat in silence and stared at my black computer screen after the episode ended for a long time… and my hands feel so numb. I can’t believe Adventure Time is actually over. I’ve been watching this series since 2012 and continuously since 2015… so 6 years invested fam. 6 years and it’s over today.

I really loved this episode because of all the references that it had to all the past episodes. It was really nice to see the AT continuity at work once more, and how everything was so nicely put together in the end.

Another thing I loved about this episode was all the themes & metaphors, the themes circling around being the very last episode of the legacy that is Adventure Time. The themes of: “going on a new adventure” but yet “the fun will never end”. Even though it’s all over, we’ll still keep moving forward, keep living our lives, keep going on new adventures, but yet forever hold Adventure Time dear to our hearts and carry the memories of the past with us. This also kind of reminds me of the Stakes theme, “different but yet the same”, “everything stays, but it still changes.”

"You and I will always be back then.”

This song was just so bittersweet and tearjerking. Even if we haven’t seen each other for a long time, even if we haven’t talked, even if we’ve all gone our separate ways, we’ll always still hold the memories of the past, the precious memories of when we were together, dear to our hearts. Even if 1000 years has passed, despite everything that will happen, is happening, has happened, when we look back upon our past memories, held up like a billion tiny picture frames, you and I will always be back then. And because you and I will always be back then, that’s why, you and I will always be best friends.

“Time is an illusion that helps things makes sense. So we're always living in the present tense.”

We don’t know everything about the past or the people who lived before us, but that’s okay. When 1000 years have passed, the past may be forgotten, our lives may be forgotten, people in the future won’t remember who we are, and sure that’s scary, but it’s okay. Time is an illusion: life goes on forever behind and ahead of us - in both the past and the future. Everything stays, but nothing stays the same. Our own lives are undoubtedly short, but yet it’s important, not because of the fact that we need to be remembered and make a mark on the world, not because we need to write down every minuscule detail so that those in the future will know who we are. Life is important because of the abruptly forgotten happiness and undeniable joy that we experience each and every day, in all of our waking hours.

“Everything stays, but it still changes.”

Things will happen, happening, happened. Adventure Time has happen, happening, happened. Even if it’s over… no matter what, we will move forward and just keep living our lives. We will move on to a new adventure, a new home, new struggles & new people… we will move on to a new journey. So when it’s happening, enjoy the time we have. But when it’s happened, we will never forget the times we shared in the past, the times we shared as best friends and lived so merrily. Things will happen again and again. They may be different, and they may happen to different people in different times, but they will be familiar. Life will go on forever behind and ahead of us, and the people who lived both before and after us will be different, but yet familiar in the ways that matter. Maybe one day everything will come to an end, but because we remember, because we experienced joy, because time goes on forever and we’ll find ourselves in the people of both the past and future… that’s why the fun will never end. So, just go out, live your lives, be brave, have fun, and enjoy the ride.

“Time will unbind our memory glue. And I’ll be as nobody-ish as all of you. So don’t care about a thing now.”

Adventure Time tells us to always live in the present, have fun, and be happy. Don’t care about the past, don’t care about the future. The past has happened, the future will happen. All that matters is to have fun, right now. Dance your heart out. Embarrass yourself. Wear those unused socks you’ve been afraid of getting dirty. Use that untouched silverware you’ve been saving for a “special day”. Don’t care about what other people think. Ask someone out. Go on 3AM spontaneous adventures. Spend lots of time with your friends and family. Cry. Laugh. Live. Love yourself. Just enjoy your life. Don’t wait for the future, don’t fall back on the past. Enjoy it now.

“Maybe by next summer, we won’t have changed our tune.”

A new adventure is starting and we’ll keep living our lives, but you and I will always be back then, and we won’t ever forget Adventure Time. I think this finale portrayed these themes in such a beautiful way through Shermy, Beth, and of BMO telling the story of 1000 years ago.

One thing I was really hoping for in the finale was for it to wrap up all loose plot ends & to have bubbline be canon lol. And I think it achieved both! Although rushed for sure, this finale did manage to wrap up all the loose plot ends. There are absolutely still a lot of things that I would’ve liked to see, more things I wanted wrapped up, more lead up, more character development, more plot & world building…. especially with the open ends that the finale left off. Of course there’s so more that I want to see. I know there’s so, so, so much more story to tell, so many more adventures to go on, so many plot gaps to wrap up. But all in all, for once I can finally say, I’m satisfied with this ending. And I’m glad the crew pulled off this ending, despite the limited time & lead up they had to do it.

I think Adventure Time has shaped my childhood as well as my adulthood. To be honest, it’s the reason I want to keep pursuing art as a career today, why I’m striving so hard now to get into the animation/art industry so maybe I can create masterpieces such as this show. It’s the reason I want to write deep, lavish, and loving stories for others to read or watch. It’s the reason I want to become a hero… just like Finn.

Thank you for shaping me into who I am. Thank you for teaching me how to be brave and how to be myself. Thank you for everything, Adventure Time.

Even though Adventure Time is now over, you and I will always be back then. Let’s go on a new adventure together, and the fun will never end.

Come Along With Me - 10/10

Adventure Time (2010-2018) - 10/10

Thoughts about the finale episode itself below read more. Obvs spoilers.

SO. THOUGHTS… jumbled order because my mind is a mess rn. Will maybe organize later

Shermy & Beth. Descendants or future lives of Finn & Jake? A new adventure. “Everything stays, but yet it still changes.” “The people that come after us may be different, but they’ll be familiar in the ways that matter.”

BMO AS THE KING OF OOO

Having all that stuff in his house, including Grob Gob Glob Grod’s head, princess crowns, Finn & Jake’s signs….

It’s been 1000 years since Finn & Jake huh…

BMO forgetting Finn’s name was really funny at first, but then it felt really bittersweet. It kind of reminds me of this quote from Angel Beats: “Even if we forget the faces of our friends, we will never forget the bonds that were carved into our souls.” Maybe BMO has forgotten Finn & Jake’s names and faces, it’s been 1000 years after all. But their impact and their bonds on each other, are everlasting.

“Have fun on the other side of this door”

I feel like this is a direct comment to the viewers from AT itself… :’(

“What happened to Phil and Jake in the end? Or Princess Bubblegum?”

“Well, you know, they kept living their lives.”

… so bittersweet :’)

It’s so bittersweet to imagine a world without Finn & Jake, a world where they’re not there. But they just kept living their lives, having fun…

I feel like the crew is trying to tell us to keep living our lives, even after the show’s over, even after the adventure’s over. I love this ending. Shoot, I’m tearing up again.

“Thank you for visiting the King of Ooo”

Honestly I feel like all these little things that BMO told Shermy & Beth were metaphors/parallels directed at us viewers. The crew is telling us, “Thank you for watching Adventure Time.”

Really like the dream scene. I was very confused at first, but I ended up really liking it. It was a chance for the crew to showcase and reference past episodes and characters. And I also really like how the dream paralleled PB - Gumbald, Finn - Fern, Jake - Jermaine.

I liked that in the dream sequence, Finn became a butterfly (his past life). Maybe Shermy is a future life of Finn?

BUBBLINE IS CANON

MY FAVORITE OTP SINCE 2015 IS FINALLY CANON WTF OHHHMYGOODNESS THE FEELSSSS

2015 ME IS REALLY POPPING THOSE BOTTLES RIGHT NOW

Yeah sure the reveal/lead up could’ve been better, but I’m honestly just so glad that it happened at all. I think I’ve been dreaming about this day for four years now

HOLY SHIT FERN

HOLY SHIT BETTY

HOLY SHIT SIMON

WHY TF DID BETTY JUST DIE….???!?!???

I know she died saving Simon and destroyed GOLB but like WTF BETTY

“I always thought I’d go out saving someone.”

“No one gets to chose how it happens” -Simon

WTF WHYYYYYY SIMON. That’s hard…

“Please listen to me! We’ve been friends for a long time.” - Finn… Then PB immediately saw Shoko in Finn. Shoko’s metal arm to Finn’s…. Once more all the feels.

“THEY’RE ALL DEAD!”

“Un-Make Me”

FERN IS FINALLY SAVED… his anguish is gone. FINN AND FERN FINALLY FACED THE VAULT. THEY FINALLY FACED THEIR FEARS AND GOTTEN RID OF THEIR FEARS.

Honestly I’ve kind of forgotten about the Vault until this episode. And I’m so so so glad that Vault was finally brought up again, and that BOTH Finn & Fern are finally facing their deepest fears. I think that sends a really good message… to face your fears so you can heal.

WHY DID FERN HAVE TO DIE MY SWEET ANGSTY GRASS BOY HE JUST RECOVERED, DESTROYING HIS TRAUMA AND HE DIED… AND HE JUST WANTED TO SEE THE TREEHOUSE ONCE LAST TIME BEFORE HE DIED OH MY GOD I CAN’T

Finn planting the remains of Fern in the ruined Treehouse

AND THE REAPPEARANCE OF THE FINN SWORD…. TO MAKE A NEW TREEHOUSE. a new journey… a new adventure. FERN WANTED TO SEE THE TREEHOUSE BEFORE HE DIED SO HE BECAME THE TREEHOUSE. the feels are too heavy why is it raining

LUMPS & LEMON. W T F.

Honestly this surprised me more than the Bubbline kiss. Like WTF lol.

GOLB

OMG GOLB FINALLY MAKES HIS APPEARANCE???

Tbh I felt like the lead up to GOLB could’ve been A LOT better rather than just a quick flashback into Simon’s memory when he read about GOLB in a book. But I guess the AT crew did what they could with the limited time they had.

GOLB BECAME BETTY THO???That scene of GOLB leveling up/becoming Betty WAS LIT AF… when everything turned black & white and chalky? OH MANNN I LOVE animations that do that. Kinda reminds of Gurren Lagann or Evangelion lol.

SWEET PEA PROTECTING HIS PARENTS

I really thought that the Lich arc was going to take off again, somewhere, somehow, before the end of the series. But I guess not, I guess the Lich will stay a Sweet Pea forever.

SWEET PEA IS BECOMING BILLY?!?!??

Marcy’s Mushroom War flashback

MARCY ONCE MORE RELEASED HER POWER FROM STAKES AND TURNED GOAT MODE TO PROTECT HER GIRLFRIENDDDD

Simon is finally, finally saved. Although they had to kill off Betty in the process… Not sure how I feel about this yet…

However, if Simon trying to save Betty now? The reverse is happening? That ending scene when he went to visit Prismo… he must’ve been trying to ask Prismo for a wish to save Betty but Prismo didn’t know how, he just shrugged his shoulders. I vaguely remember in the past that Betty has also went to Prismo to ask to save Simon. So Simon & Betty kinda swapped positions now. I just hope all the same thing aren’t happening all over again but with Simon instead of Betty……..

I LOVE BMO’S SONG. EVERYONE STARTED SINGING TOGETHER. IN THE END, MUSIC HEALED AND SAVED THE WORLD. YOU AND I WILL ALWAYS BE BACK THEN.

GUNTER BECAME EVERGREEN/ICE THING?????

Comment from Reddit: If Betty’s intuition was right, the crown reset back to it’s pre-golb state once it was no longer in the confines of Golb. So the crown went back to the default wish prehistoric gunter made; to be like Evergreen.

So like… is Orgalog still there? Orgalog = Evergreen? Would have liked to have seen more details/light on this.

I mean he doesn’t look too evil checking out books at the library and marrying Turtle Princess lol.

I also would’ve like to see more insight about the Elements, since they were just recently introduced, and how the elements all come to play a part in everything.

Was also imagining a Jake death for the finale but I’m SO glad that didn’t happen. I guess Jake’s banana space prophecy dream was just a dream after all.

FINN IS ALMOST THE SAME HEIGHT AS PB. FINN GOT SO MUCH OLDER & TALLER & MATURE. WHY DOES THIS REMIND ME OF FMAB SO MUCHHHH.

I LOVED THE REAPPEARANCE OF THE MUSIC HOLE. I REALLY REALLY REALLY LOVED THE FINALE’S USE OF PAST EPISODES/PLOT/CHARACTERS.

I LOST IT WHEN THE MUSIC HOLE STARTED SINGING THE ENDING SONG. THAT ENDING SEQUENCE D E S T R O Y E D ME. I CRIED SO MUCH. Just watching all the characters go about their post-show lives… UGH these kind of ending sequences in any show ALWAYS GETS ME. This ending just brought back so many FMAB ending sequence feels… :’)

GUNTER AND TURTLE PRINCESS…. WTF LOL

SWEET PEA GRADUATED

SIMON VISITING PRISMO TO ASK HOW TO SAVE BETTY :’(

PB & Lolly hanging out, being pals, singing to Neddy :’)

The fern tree/treehouse 1000 years later. Kind of reminds me of the 1000 years later scene from that one graybles episode.

Normal Man and Margles… I guess he never got to save her, but he’ll always remember her. THE FEELS……..

GIRL SQUAD

BONNIE AND MARCY SNUGGLING IN BED TOGETHER. MY GAY FEELS I CAN’T. Also LOL Peppermint Butler’s “Dark Magic 101″ (wait is he still peppermint kid? lol)

Finn only one arm forever now? Finn didn’t end up with anyone in the end, and I’m actually really happy about that. It was SUCH a great choice to not force Finn into a romance, and I’m loving it.

Finn’s mom & other humans finally came to Ooo!!!!!!!

I liked how the entire ending’s theme is, “a new adventure”, “things will never end, everything goes around in a circle”. This show will live on forever. Especially with Shermy & Beth pulling out the Finn Sword Finn & Jake style. “The fun will never end”.

“It seems unforgiving when a good thing ends. But you and I will always be back then. Will happen, happening, happened. And will happen again and again. Cause you and I will always be back then. That’s why, you and I will always be best friends.”

“Everything stays, right where you left it. Everything stays, but it still changes. Ever so slightly, daily and nightly. In little ways, when everything stays.”

“Maybe by next summer, we won’t have changed our tune. We’ll still want to be with the butterflies and bees. Making up new numbers, living so merrily….”

YOU AND I WILL ALWAYS BE BACK THEN

COME ALONG WITH ME

#adventure time #atimers #atspoilers #comealongwithme #comealongwithmespoilers #personal #thoughts #sorry i'm crying so much #i love... adventure time #so so so much #thank you for everything

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musikat18 · 6 years

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MusiKat’s Graduation Challenge!

Hi friends! Welcome to MusiKat’s Graduation Challenge!

I’m FINALLY graduating and moving on to university this June, and to celebrate, I thought I’d throw another writing challenge! The theme for this challenge is one near and dear to my heart, an ever-present force through my entire life AND my senior trip: DISNEY!

Under the cut, you’ll find rules, options for your lovely selves to write from, and a list of characters!

Challenge Parameters

There will be two lists of Disney-themed prompts-- Song Prompts and Quote Prompts, all taken from my FAVORITE Disney animated features. You can select up to three prompts total, just make sure to let me know which ones from the list you’ll be writing~

The deadline for this challenge is June 13th, which is when I leave for my graduation trip. My actual graduation takes place on May 29th, but it’s a holiday weekend here in the States, and this is a busy time of year in general, so I figured it would be a little better to take it a little further into the summer.

If you need an extension, it would be nice to know at least 3 days before the deadline, but if it comes at 11:59 on June 12th, no harm, no foul. XD

This is a Reader Insert challenge, so select ONE character from my list. More than one person can write for a character, but no two people will be writing the same prompt.

I’ll take prompt selection notices whenever, though I suggest you know what you’re writing by early May.

Tag me in your fic and tag it with “musikat’s graduation challenge” for me to reblog! If you feel like it would be safer to send to me directly after posting, as well, feel free to do so as Tumblr can be a little wonky at times.

Song Prompts

A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes-- Cinderella

So This Is Love-- Cinderella

Part of Your World-- The Little Mermaid

Kiss The Girl-- The Little Mermaid

Beauty and the Beast-- Beauty and the Beast (1991)

Something There-- Beauty and the Beast (1991) @flowerbunbunny

A Whole New World-- Aladdin

Can You Feel The Love Tonight-- The Lion King @jeremiahxvaleska

Be Prepared-- The Lion King

Heaven’s Light/Hellfire-- The Hunchback of Notre Dame @bsotstory

I Won’t Say I’m In Love-- Hercules

Go The Distance-- Hercules

Reflection-- Mulan

Honor To Us All-- Mulan

Almost There-- The Princess and The Frog

Dig A Little Deeper-- The Princess and The Frog

Down In New Orleans-- The Princess and The Frog

When Will My Life Begin-- Tangled

I See The Light-- Tangled

Touch The Sky-- Brave @sparkedupsilver

Frozen Heart-- Frozen

Fixer-Upper-- Frozen @kaitymccoy123

How Far I’ll Go-- Moana

Song of the Ancestors (I Am Moana)-- Moana

Know Who You Are-- Moana

Evermore-- Beauty and the Beast (2017) @goingknowherewastaken

How Does A Moment Last Forever-- Beauty and the Beast (2017) @whatthefuxk-richard

On The Steps Of The Palace-- Into The Woods

Agony-- Into The Woods

Moments In The Woods-- Into The Woods @annathewitch

Quote Prompts

“It would be so nice if something would make sense for a change.” @flowerbunbunny

“Start at the beginning. Yes, yes, and when you come to the end, STOP!”

“Well, there’s one thing. They can’t order me to stop dreaming.”

“If you’d lost all your faith, I couldn’t be here. And here I am.”

“What's a royal ball? After all, I suppose it would be frightfully dull, and-and-and boring, and-and completely... Completely wonderful.“

“Yes, it's only in my dreams. But they say if you dream a thing more than once, it's sure to come true, and I've seen him so many times.“

“I just don’t see how a world that makes such wonderful things could be bad.”

“What I want is your voice.”

“She warned him not to be deceived by appearances, for beauty is found within.”

“He’s handsome, alright, and rude and conceited and...he’s not for me.” @annathewitch

“You’re only in trouble if you get caught.”

“I am not some prize to be won!” @kaunis-sielu

“I’m a damsel, I’m in distress, I can handle this. Have a nice day.” @skosmo

“A true hero isn’t measured by the size of his strength, but the size of his heart.”

“People do crazy things when they’re in love.” @kaitymccoy123

“The flower that blooms in adversity is the most rare and beautiful of all.” @sparkedupsilver

Character A: “Would you like to stay for dinner?” Character B: “WOULD YOU LIKE TO STAY FOREVER?” @sydneyactuallysteve

“Um...you...you fight good.” @yallneedtrek

“I’m not a princess! I’m a waitress!” @im-not-insane-im-a-fangirl

“Listen here, mister. This stick in the mud has had to work two jobs her whole life while you've been sucking on a silver spoon chasing chambermaids around your - your ivory tower!” @im-not-insane-im-a-fangirl

“But he had what he needed. He had love. He never lost sight of what was really important.” @whatthefuxk-richard

“I didn't want to have to do this, but you leave me no choice. Here comes the smolder.“ @musicmandy1991

“I should have given it to you before, but I was scared. And the thing is, I'm not scared anymore. You know what I mean?“ @kjs-s

“The only frozen heart around here is yours.“ @im-not-insane-im-a-fangirl

“No! Why? Why do you shut me out? Why do you shut the world out? What are you so afraid of?“

“Are you just trying to get me to talk about myself? Because if you are... I will gladly do so.“

“I'm his mom. I don't have to tell him anything.“

“I'm the village crazy lady. That's my job.“ @bsotstory

“I was raised to be charming, not sincere.“ @whatthefuxk-richard

“You've changed. You're daring. You're different in the woods.“

Character List

Star Trek (AOS)

Jim Kirk

Leonard “Bones” McCoy

Pavel Chekov

Spock

Scotty

Uhura

Star Wars

Finn

Poe Dameron

Rey

Obi-Wan Kenobi

Luke Skywalker

Han Solo

Padme Amidala

Leia Organa

Marvel

Steve Rogers

Thor Odinson

Bucky Barnes

Loki

Peter Parker

Wanda Maximoff

Natasha Romanoff

T’Challa

M’Baku

Nakia

Okoye

Shuri

Skurge

Peter Quill

Clark Kent

Bruce Wayne

Diana Prince

Steve Trevor

Kara Danvers

Barry Allen

Arthur Curry

Zari Tomaz

Amaya Jiwe

Sara Lance

Ray Palmer

Pine Characters

Jack Ryan

Nicholas Deveraux

Cinderella’s Prince

Jake Hardin

Danny

FDR Foster

Rex Hanson

Urban Characters

Black Hat

John Kennex

Gavin Magary

Cupid

Vaako

William Cooper

Joseph Dredd

Harry Ballard

Eomer

John “Reaper” Grimm

Kirill

#musikat speaks #musikat's graduation challenge #challenge announcement

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yumi-michiyo · 6 years

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[The Shortest Distance] - extended author’s notes and meta

Watch this space! Instead of making a whole new post for each chapter, I'll be compiling everything here as I post the chapters. [Updated 27th January 2019]

Rating: M for language and explicit sexual content. TW for mentions of eating disorders and anxiety

Genre: Slice of Life/Angst/Friendship/Humour/Hurt/Comfort/Fluff/Romance/Friends to Lovers

Couples: Marley Rose/Quinn Fabray (main), side Santana Lopez/Rachel Berry, side Finn Hudson/Brittany Pierce, side Wade "Unique" Adams/OMC

Pairings: Marley Rose/Quinn Fabray, mentioned Marley Rose/Jake Puckerman, Rachel Berry/Quinn Fabray friendship, Quinn Fabray/Santana Lopez friendship, Marley Rose/Wade "Unique" Adams friendship, all the friendships okay

Summary: It starts with a friendship composed of books, lazy summer afternoons, and understanding; and blossoms into more. Slowburn Fabrose. Season 4 canon divergence!AU.

Links: FF.net | AO3

On the origins:

This. Work. Took. Too. Long.

Seriously, the plot got written, scrapped, revived and revised, scrapped, etc. far too many times to count. From being a slight supernatural!AU like For You I'd Burn the Length and Breadth of Sky, to a fic running parallel to canon, to a canon fix-it fic... I'd all but thrown in the towel on this. Most of it only existed in a scraps folder in my Google Drive, and I'd go add more unconnected scraps whenever I needed a break from other WIPs.

Eventually, the scraps accumulated such that there was some semblance of plot, and I got very fond of some long scenes; enough that there was motivation to turn it into a fic on its own.

On the writing process:

A few scraps and loose ends from my other Fabrose fic found their way inside, but quickly grew into their own thing. I think the reason why I've struggled so much with this fic is because I don't have a good handle of Marley's character. I'll be the first to admit that I don't even like many of the canon main characters, and that my headcanons are mostly derived from other fanfic, but there isn't much Marley in the first place, meaning I had to work hard lol.

Most of the actual writing took place in transit, on my weeny iPhone 6s screen, with my overworked thumbs. Not something I recommend to casual writers. I upgraded my phone! Now I have a much larger screen for on-the-go writing, and a new mechanical keyboard for editing/more stream-of-consciousness ramblings.

On the chapter titles:

A special mention! I don't think I've written much about how I choose my fic titles; I think it's because half the time it's a slapdash process, and the other half comes with a lot of thinking.

I love music, and it shows when I use plenty of song lyrics in fics and titles. My taste in music is pretty eclectic, but I can assure you that I actually like all the songs I pick for my writing, and I'm not just picking random profound-sounding lyrics off the Interwebs lol.

I do have a few criteria for picking song lyrics. One, it has to be relevant to the subject lol. Two, it has to have some depth which alludes to whatever hidden message is in the fic. Three, of course it's something I actually enjoy, as mentioned earlier. I think this is really important because I do pick up music recommendations from fanfic, and treasure them for the positive assocations brought from fic I've enjoyed. I think it's important to do the same.

Instead of linking endlessly, I've created a YouTube playlist collecting all the music used in this fic. Find it here.

Prologue: Title is from Marina and the Diamonds. I loved her first album Electra Heart and not because she was covered on Glee; Marina has this punchy, catchy style with awesome lyrics. She later released Froot, another genius work that needs a lot more attention than it's gotten.

Part One: Another Marina and the Diamonds lyric. Can I just take this opportunity to plug her album?

Part Two: Sam Smith, my love. His music always makes me want to write the angstiest, most heartbreaking things. He's one of the few artists out there now who writes the most obscure and complicated feelings into music.

Part Three: This was supposed to be the title of the entire fic, but I forgot lol. I like the Charles Bukowski quote better, but at the very least this wonderful song from Leonard Cohen gets a mention.

Part Four: Very different in tone from all the previous songs mentioned. I found the Arctic Monkeys' lyrics to be deep and intriguing, which is interesting compared to their melodies and catchy beat.

Part Five: This was a struggle! There are so many good songs out there with really great lyrics that could fit into the chapter and the themes I was going for, but in the end, I went back to Lea (as I tend to do for my fics). I wanted that aimless feeling Marley has for most of the chapter.

Part Six: I love Yellowcard. I've been a fan for more than a decade, for their excellent lyrics and wonderful melodies, their instrumentation and their creativity. Most of their songs deal with heartbreak, so it's rare that I come across a song of theirs that encapsulates so well what I wanted to convey in their early relationship.

Part Seven: One of my best buddies, IRL and in fandom, loves K-pop. She's been trying to brainwash me for years, and so far she's been having quite a lot of success; I've written a few things that are inspired by K-pop lyrics. The inspiration for this fic came from a new song from Mamamoo, which is made up of four very talented ladies.

Part Eight: I haven't been discovering music for a while, but Paramore's latest album was a pretty refreshing find. I was looking for something light that described the mood of this chapter.

Part Nine: Apparently, Vienna Teng's work has been something of a mainstay in fandom; which makes sense, with her poignant lyrics and soulful piano ballads. I discovered her through the Studio Ghibli fanfics written by Saddletank, who makes extensive use of her music with great effect.

Part Ten: I discovered the genius of Fleetwood Mac through Glee. It was the perfect time, now that I was going through things IRL that made the music relatable and meaningful. While not one of my favourite songs, the lyrics resonate best with the chapter.

Part Eleven: William Ryan Key (better known as the frontman of the pop-punk band Yellowcard) recently launched a solo career. He writes the gentlest, most profound acoustic ballads I have ever heard. Most of what I envision Marley's music to be is his work (with elements of Kina Grannis' artistry and Sara Bareilles' lyrics), and I would pay good money to hear Melissa actually perform his songs.

Part Twelve: Those who read my fics can definitely tell that I'm a massive Sara Bareilles fan. The woman is a delightful human being, and an immensely talented singer-songwriter (is it obvious I have a thing for talented people?). Again, the reasons for picking songs is really to set the mood and atmosphere for the chapter; the lyrics may or may not be directly relevant to the story.

Part Thirteen: Kina Grannis recently rose to fame performing a cover of Elvis' Can't Help Fallin' in Love With You in the movie Crazy Rich Asians. I love her style and interpretation of songs.

Part Fourteen: It's rare when canon and fanon intersect, and I'm always very happy to make a big production out of it. I loved Melissa's performance of this song, and I was actively looking for some way I could give it a nod. And so when I was writing this chapter, I listened to it on repeat.

Part Fifteen: It's always nice when things work out :) earlier I had a Marley song, and now it's Quinn's turn (conveniently ignoring Puck's part lol). While Marley's part was about taking the plunge, Quinn's was about getting over past hurts and building a stronger relationship.

Epilogue: I've used Sara Bareilles' music plenty of times in my work. Normally, I hate reusing music, but it was impossible to pass up the opportunity to use this beautiful song to wrap up a giant labour of love.

General Meta:

Prologue-Part One: These two chapters were intended to set the tone of the early relationship between canon!Marley and canon!Quinn, which then contrasts their new/old relationship when they meet again a few years later. They establish a friendship out of common interests (and a lack of anything better to do) which I think also gets them to understand each other a little better. I hope.

I took this opportunity to also set the friendship between Marley and Unique. Strong female (?) friendships are something always lacking in Glee, and I wanted to pay homage to these two awesome ladies. Also, Unique and Marley's friendship acts as a foil to the one Quinn and Marley start to forge here - because, clearly, the latter two are gonna end up together lol.

Part Two: Rachel gets introduced! Again, more comparing and contrasting: Quinn and Rachel's friendship vs Marley and Unique's, Quinn and Marley's friendship vs Quinn and Rachel's. Our girls also start to open up to each other. Recently, I've been following Chuck Palahniuk's writing advice (which I have printed out and stuck on my wall): Instead of characters knowing anything, you must now present the details that allow the reader to know them. Instead of a character wanting something, you must now describe the thing so that the reader wants it.

Part Three: A bit more background, a bit more development. In the previous chapter Marley opened up to Quinn about her eating disorder, in this one Quinn starts to open up about some of her past. It was hard writing this one mostly because Marley, unlike Rachel, wasn't privy to a lot of the things Quinn went through (this plays a big part in their relationship after they get together later down the line).

Rachel and Santana are together in this one! I would say more stuff about foils, comparing and constrasting, but by now you should've noticed it's something I do a lot. It's crucial that they're together in this fic because the girls do help our clueless pair move things along.

Also, I think y'all are pleased that I finally had Quinn dump her (off-screen) boyfriend lol.

Part Four: I loved writing this chapter. Now that we've established the friendship between our girls, I panned out a bit to cover more of the world they live in, and the people and events that shape their lives. It was a bit of a challenge since Quinn is now working, and Marley still a college student, but I hope I've done a decent job.

I get the feeling y'all hate me for putting Marley with some random man, but I think it's important. Marley is still very underdeveloped as a character herself, with loads of confused feelings. She needs to mature a little more emotionally, make decisions for herself, experience a little heartbreak, before she can be ready for an emotional minefield like Quinn Fabray.

It's not a coincidence that Quinn's ex is named Blake, and Marley's (soon to be ex?) is named Alex, by the way... Also, speaking of names, it will likely never be mentioned in the fic but Stan's full first name is Æthelstan (poor dude). Valentino is an arowana because of that fantastic expression. I headcanon that he's always judging the goings-on in that apartment.

Part Five: THEY FINALLY KISSED ALKSFHO

In which the girls take a step forward after nearly 60k+ words of slowburn - trust me, it was killing me almost as much as it was killing you guys. But I was trying to make it was organic as possible, and as y'all know Marley doesn't have much of a stable romantic background to draw from, and her closest role models are all certifiably insane.

There are a lot of challenges upcoming for them, which I will have to spend a good deal of time delineating. I am really invested in these two at this point.

Part Six: After all that slowburn, my brain kinda went into overdrive. The draft I had for this fic originally ended here, but I couldn't do that to you guys aren't you glad I didn't. So the first half came into being, with its gratituous fluff and their friends' reactions.

The second half came while I was developing Millie's reaction; I wanted to make a comparison between Millie and Judy as single moms. But to be a foil to how open Millie is, Judy had to be the bad mom. I hadn't intended her to come off as so cruel, but she's not truly evil. Quinn has to get her sharp tongue from somewhere LOL.

Also! Finn and Brittany! I gave them a brief moment in my other fic For You I'd Burn the Length and Breadth of Sky but killed Finn off uwu. I've been fond of this rarepair for a long time now, and it seemed fitting to put another rarepair into this fic. Additionally, I am such a sucker for couple angst, like the Rachel/Santana/Finn/Brittany dynamic. They really deserve a fic of their own, the poor things, but we'll see how it goes. This fic is primarily a Marley/Quinn, and will remain that way because I lack the mental capacity and patience to write a fic with two main couples without wanting to gouge my eyes out.

Some of you active and astute readers might notice a lot of mentions of stuff foreshadowed earlier in the fic, with extremely tiny throwaway moments being revisited in this chapter. I assure you this wasn't intentional, and I'm in no way the awesome and masterful writer all this makes me out to be.

Part Seven: Dear god, I was so busy with life I totally forgot to write the author's notes for this chapter... Anyway, the entire thing is about tying up loose ends. They're dealing with their problems while the shadow of Marley leaving hangs over them, and making the best of their time together.

And yes! I heard a lot of happy squeals when this fic finally earned its M rating. For those of you who are wondering about the sudden sexytimes in the middle of bigger issues, well... let's just say that it has consequences.

On a side note, I hope none of you out there were rooting for Marley to stay in NY. Don't worry, this is a romance fic, and there will be a happy ending.

Part Eight: When you don't have time to update the author's notes when you update the story... This was a pretty interesting chapter to write. Mostly because I was figuring out how they build up after the loose ends in the previous chapter have been taken care of.

Not really knowing Marley's canon character has been an obstacle in writing this fic, right from the beginning. She's also not a popular fanfic character but I do like a challenge.

Can you tell I watched La La Land as research for life in LA for this chapter? The music has been pretty stuck in my head too but none of it really fit the mood for this chapter, so I was forced to omit it. But yes, some of the bits and locales in the movie sneak into this fic.

Part Nine: Quinn's trip to LA, and the various things they get up to. Lots of indulgent fluff and smut, and a dash of plot at the end...

Part Ten: I love the friendship Marley and Santana have in this story. My headcanon for Santana is that she's the tough, worldly big sister type, and she's taken Marley under her wing. This is my attempt at advancing the plot by exploring the conflict in the long-distance relationship, with plenty of Marley-Santana-Rachel interaction (and throwing in loads of foreshadowing). Since there's so much heavy content, there's plenty of fluff to go around, padding the spaces between character development and plot. The Skype cooking idea was taken directly from my real life :)

Part Eleven: Mostly fallout from the drama in the previous chapter, and more advancement of the plot. It's intentional that there's so much drama, because it's something they both have (thanks canon) and I believe it's important for a healthy long-term relationship that they are able to resolve it. Also, Shelby is a convenient villain here, though I loved putting Beth into the mix, and having the characters react to the non-canon pairings in this fic. Doctor C makes a reappearance, as does Millie. Their growing absence from the main story is also intentional; Marley is growing into a character of her own, and she becomes less reliant on them.

Part Twelve: Initially I thought this chapter was going to be filler ahead of the big decision, but I was wrong. There was so much plot in this one ugh. I wanted Finn and Brittany to get their turn in the spotlight, but it had to be relevant to the plot as well. I wanted Marley to show us how much she'd grown over the course of the story, and from her canon self.

Part Thirteen: A lot of people thought they'd broken up in the previous chapter. I made them properly break up in this one >:) I wasn't going for a big dramatic shake-up or anything; the point was that people have relationship troubles. A lot of people have difficulty being an us, and this was supposed to be the result of the major cracks hinted at earlier, and the final part of their development as individuals before they can be in a relationship with each other. There's a lot of fluff and recovery; they have to break up to figure out how to be together, if that makes sense (but they do get their happy ending!)

Part Fourteen: The timeskip is important. It shows how far they've come, and the difference in how they now interact. While I can't show you how much Quinn's grown since this fic is from Marley's POV, I put as much of it into the story as humanly possible, and without making Marley into some mind-reading alien. Things are different now. The first break-up was necessary to put their past behind, and by getting together again, they're both prepared to work hard to grow from that. I do believe that it was absolutely necessary for them to break up to know exactly what they've lost.

Part Fifteen: The idea for this chapter came when watching Bones, and when talking to some friends. I needed to have them overcome what happened in the past, and symbolically walk forward together. Then I remembered a throwaway line about Rachel workshopping Jesse St James' musical, and the chapter pretty much wrote itself from there.

Epilogue: Not much in this one, honestly. I wanted to tie up loose ends, represent them moving forward without hesitation, and bring the story to a conclusion worthy of such a long journey. The smut was a bonus treat for everyone that's been following this.

On Marley Rose:

Confession: I don't watch Supergirl. There's only so much my poor heart can take from shipping non-canon lesbian couples who have a ton of onscreen chemistry, but who are paired off with guys. Bitter? Not I

So I take canon!Marley, pad her personality with a lot of extrapolation, add a hearty dose of logical explanation for inexplicable quirks from canon, and toss her into this fic to do a lot of growing up. If this sounds like a recipe, I think I'm too hungry.

Melissa's current turn on Broadway is inspiring a lot of the fic's direction.

On Quinn Fabray:

If it isn't already obvious that I'm in love with Quinn Fabray (and Dianna Agron for giving her so much depth), this fic should just help you reach that conclusion lol. no thanks to R*** M*****

The other Fabrose I wrote is from Quinn's POV, who basically spends the whole time sorting out her issues and stumbling into something she had never imagined could happen to her. This one is from Marley's POV, and also features her sorting out a ton of personal issues.

A lot of Quinn's character and experiences with her mother is taken from real life LOL.

#fabrose #quinn fabray/marley rose #quinn fabray #marley rose #fanfic #my writing #yumi_michiyo #the shortest distance #glee #fanfiction #music

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crazy-noonoohead · 6 years

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My top 10 shows I saw in 2017.

This is in no particular order, and to prove that, I’m sticking one of the best in the middle and saving one for last. I’m mostly focusing on shows I saw for the first time in 2017, but I’m making two exceptions (four if you count Broadway transfers that I saw in previous incarnations) and you probably already know what those two are. I’m also sticking to plays and musicals as opposed to concerts, comedy performances, etc., but I’ll include a few of those in my honorable mentions. So here goes!

The Book Of Mormon with Dom Simpson as Elder Price: Let me start off by saying I adore Nic Rouleau. He’s been in various productions of BOM since its very beginning, and he still continues to get better every time I see him. And when I say this next thing, I don’t want anyone to think I’m tired of him, because that couldn’t be further from the truth. The day he leaves the show is probably the day the world ends. But since he’s been with the show for so long, he’s the Price I’ve seen the most often, by a long shot, so seeing a new take on the role was a refreshing experience that I’ll always cherish. When I met Dom at the stage door, I found out that I had seen the show more times than he had done the show. I hope he has more opportunities to go on, because he gave a wonderful performance! (Quick shout-outs to the other two times I saw it this year, especially when I went on my birthday.)

Falsettos’ closing performance: Having frequented this show consistently since the first preview (for...no particular reason), it was such a privilege to watch this cast of seven give it their all every single time. Still, that final show was probably everyone’s best performance. Andrew’s final “The Games I Play” was definitely the best I had heard him sing it, and the fact that I was sitting close enough to see the tears in his eyes was both a blessing and a curse that will haunt me for the rest of my life. Anthony powered through even though he was getting over an illness (which I would not have realized if I hadn’t already known) and had to call out earlier that weekend. Stephanie had to take moments during “I’m Breaking Down” and “Trina’s Song,” but somehow made it through “Holding To The Ground.” Brandon teared up during “A Marriage Proposal.” Everyone was emotional during the curtain call. And of course, I started crying the moment the lights went down for the first act and rarely stopped. The woman sitting next to me was a friend of William Finn’s and had lost friends during the AIDS crisis, so the show resonated with her in a way that it never will with me. I’m grateful that the production is on Broadway HD and that I can watch it whenever I want to, but it’s not the same as being there. It’s been almost a year and I still miss it a lot. What more can I say?

The Play That Goes Wrong: After seeing this in London with my mom and stepdad, we all loved it so much that we jumped on the chance to see the Broadway transfer as soon as possible. It goes wrong in all the right ways! I have now seen it three times on Broadway, and the jokes are still fresh and hilarious. Even while laughing at all the mishaps, I find myself sympathizing with these characters and admiring their determination to keep going. Sometimes it cheered me up, and other times it made an already good day even better. I hope I can go back soon to see the new cast.

The Great Comet: I went into this one knowing nothing about the plot, just that a lot of people loved it. I was also seeing it 12 days after Falsettos closed, so you can probably guess the state of mind I was in. But I loved this show! The music was like nothing I’d heard before (in a good way, obviously), the set felt intimate and elaborate at the same time, and the cast was incredibly talented AND one of the most diverse I’d ever seen, if not THE most. Somehow they made it easy for me to relate to characters living in 19th century Russia, despite living as a millennial in 21st century New York. I saw it twice, once with the original Broadway cast and once with Dave Malloy and Ingrid Michaelson, and I would have gone more if it had the long, successful run it deserved. But unfortunately, just like a comet, it lived up to its name and shone brightly for a short amount of time before disappearing. Also, the pierogies they gave out before the show were delicious. And I’m just now realizing that they missed out on an opportunity to make “Pierre-ogi” puns.

Bastard Jones: I have to admit this one grew on me. Once I found out that a former member of Toxic Audio was in the cast, I knew I was going to see it multiple times no matter what I thought, so thank goodness it was a good show! The first time I went, I enjoyed myself, and of course I loved getting to see René perform for the first time in ten years, but I wasn’t blown away. But that second time...maybe the performances got tighter. Maybe the jokes just landed better. Maybe it was because I was with the first friend I ever took to a Toxic Audio show. I’ll never know for sure. But I liked it a lot more the second time. While most of the draw for me was still seeing René in a role that is absolutely perfect for him, I ended up falling for the whole show as well. The slapstick humor, word play, and dirty jokes are completely up my alley (there’s a dirty joke somewhere in the phrase “up my alley”), and I found two songs I want to use for auditions once the sheet music becomes available. I saw this one four times during its month-long run, and the only reason I didn’t go more is that it sold out super quickly after getting rave reviews. The team is hoping that their next step is a longer run in a bigger venue, and I will definitely revisit the show when that happens, especially if René is still playing Partridge.

Sunday In The Park With George: I watched the DVD of the original production a few years ago because my friend was very nice and lent it to me, and I was so excited that I could finally see a live production. It. Was. Fantastic! Annaleigh Ashford and Jake Gyllenhaal were both wonderful and almost definitely would have received Tony nominations if the production had decided to compete. Andrew Kober, whom I’d seen in a few other things, was a swing in the show and got to go on for the first time the night I was there, which made it even more of a treat. This was a great production of an already great show, and although it was always going to be a limited run, I wish it could have lasted longer. More Sondheim on Broadway, please!

Jitney: My mom and I saw this one together, and it took a while to get going for us, but once it did, we were hooked. A super talented group of people sharing a compelling story? Yes, please! We both left the theatre pleasantly surprised, and everyone who signed at the stage door was very nice. Most of the actors didn’t have Sharpies and I got to lend them mine, which was a nice bonus. Of course, it’s always great to see BOM alumni continue to be successful, and I saw it the day after my BOM anniversary on purpose. The alumnus in this show ran over and gave me a big hug that night.

Brigadoon: This weekend-long City Center production looked ready to transfer and get an open run! Stephanie J. Block’s solo number was the stand-out for me (partially because she’s Stephanie, but her song would have been my favorite anyway), and Kelli O’Hara and Patrick Wilson were amazing as the two leads. Yes, the show has that “falling in love after knowing each other for one day” thing that annoys me about a lot of older musicals, but it still has a beautiful score and a unique premise.

The Band’s Visit: I loved this show when I saw it at the Atlantic Theatre last November, and I was very excited when I found out it was transferring to Broadway, but I also had my reservations. I was concerned that the show would lose its intimacy in a larger space. Boy, was I happy to be wrong! They picked the right theatre, as it most likely would have lost the intimacy in a bigger house, almost the entire cast is the same, and somehow the show was even better the second time. It’s a heartwarming, simple but effective story that we could all use right now. It’s not a “see over and over again” show for me, but I will definitely return to Bet Hatikva (with a B) at some point. I can’t officially endorse it for Best Musical until I see more of the new musicals this season, but if it doesn’t at least get nominated, I’m rioting.

Groundhog Day: Will I get through this paragraph without crying? Won’t I get through this paragraph without crying? Civilization once again hangs in the balance. Wow. What an unlikely love story! And contrary to those corny Hallmark movies where you figure the love story out in the first 30 seconds of the trailer, this love story was ACTUALLY unlikely. For me, at least. This was the show that got me excited about theatre again after Falsettos closed. I found something else I couldn’t stop gushing about or recommending to friends. At first most of that excitement came from the novelty of the first preview (Google the story if you don’t already know; this post is long enough already) and the awesomely professional way the team handled such a stressful situation, but as I listened to the cast recording more, it became clear that it wasn’t just that one experience that I loved. It was the whole show, and everyone involved. They took the story of a beloved, seemingly flawless movie, and in my not-even-living-in-the-same-neighborhood-as-humble opinion...dare I say it?...made it even better? I made Twitter friends because of this show. I crocheted Phil and Rita dolls and got to give them to Andy and Barrett. The closing notice hurt, and attending the final performance was one of my most bittersweet experiences, but it was worth it. This show was definitely a highlight of 2017. Six months and a day was not enough time, but I’m grateful for the time it had and I miss it every day. (For those of you wondering, I did not get through this paragraph without crying.)

Honorable mentions, also in no particular order:

Andrew Rannells’ and Stephanie J. Block’s Live From Lincoln Center concerts: An hour each, watching two of my favorite performers do solo shows that will later air on PBS was such a treat! Andrew’s set was completely full of songs I’d never heard him sing before, while Stephanie’s was a mix of new things and songs she’s known for. After hearing Stephanie sing “Some People” from Gypsy, I want her to play Rose one day. But first I want her to play Fanny Brice. Andrew is one of the only people who could make me cry by singing “Born To Run” by Bruce Springsteen (the others, of course, being the members of Toxic/Vox Audio). And he did.

Indecent: I almost made my list a top 11 so I could include it, but I insisted on having a round number. This was a powerful one-act play about making and producing God Of Vengeance, which was very controversial at the time because it was the 20th century and two women fell in love. Taking place during the Holocaust, the use of sand was very effective, and was probably both my favorite thing about it and the most difficult part to watch. It was my pick for Best Play this past season, and again, it deserved a longer run.

White Arab Problems: One of my friends from acting class wrote and performed a 45-minute comedy act about the struggles of being Arab but passing for white. In the piece, she humorously acknowledges the privileges that come with being white while also really dealing with the frustration of people thinking she’s trying to appropriate her own culture. I first met her in class in 2015 and recognized some insecurities that came across as ones I also have. Watching her grow over the years, seeing her perform this piece, and knowing she was proud of what she did made me a proud friend/classmate/scene partner, and I look forward to seeing it again whenever I can.

The Skivvies: Not much to elaborate on here, but I see as many of their concerts as I can, and it’s always a super fun time.

Prince Of Broadway: While this one was billed as a musical, it was technically a revue, which is why I didn’t put it on the official list. Watching a super talented cast of nine people perform songs and scenes from multiple Hal Prince shows definitely made for a great night! I went to the last preview, and I went again during the final week. I want Chuck Cooper to play Tevye, and I want Brandon Uranowitz to play Georg Nowack. And the Emcee. And Molina. And any other role he wants to play because he’s amazing.

So there’s my list. I’m kind of bummed that I didn’t include more plays, but hopefully next year. And with that, “ba da ba ba ba suck my balls, I’m out.”

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neverending2012 · 6 years

Text

My Journey To You Chapter 26

CHAPTER 26

SUMMARY: They have Rachel's memorial. Finn, Matt, and Lucy go on a trip. Sam and Mercedes deal with her past. Abby experiences her first crush and is growing up. The town comes together during an unexpected threat.

WARNING: Sexual situations. Cursing. Violence. Mention of prayer, God, and religion. Discussion of death and grief and dark themes.

RATING: Mature

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Thank you for your patience and I hope you enjoy this extremely long chapter!

WHERE THE SOUL NEVER DIES

When death comes nobody knows what to expect or how to react, at least that's how Finn felt. He knew it would hurt but could never envision the pain seared into his flesh, and the blackness choking him, or his heart turned to nothing. In those stupid tearjerker movies, death was pretty, the life monitor flat lined and the deceased had rosy cheeks and bright eyes, sleeping beauties in a hospital bed. A few well-placed tears and the credits rolled. Real life was different. Rachel was thin, pale, and gaunt. Her head was bald and her lips chapped; he felt her die in his arms, and it was far from romantic or cinematic; it was dreadful. Matt and Lucy clung to her body, because that's what she was; a body, it wasn't Rachel, only her shell, so they squeezed all they could from her shell and he couldn't pry them away.

"Matt, Lucy, you have to let go."

They held on and he felt their agony.

"She's not there."

They shook in his arms, and their grip loosened, until he gently pulled them off of her body, and hugged them.

"I'm here."

"Daddy, why…" Lucy said, Daddy…"

The last time she called him Daddy she was 4 years old and had skinned knees and a sunburned nose; she retreated back to the time when she was innocent and monsters lived beneath her canopy bed.

He gave her the truth.

"I don't know."

Finn wasn't sure when they entered the room, but Sam, Mercedes, and Abby, stood next to the bed, arms wrapped around each other and crying. Stacey called 911 and an ambulance arrived a few minutes later. The EMTs rushed up the stairs. Finn took the kids out of the room. He didn't recall much after that. Arms hugged him, tears fell on his skin, Matt and Lucy by his side; they slept in the guest room, in their clothes, bound close together. Matt vomited on the floor. Finn carried him to the bathroom where he continued to vomit in the toilet. Aunt Josephine cleaned up the floor and said a prayer for them as tears poured down her cheeks. They woke up the next morning, with red-rimmed eyes and sorrow in their hearts. While Matt suffered from nausea, Lucy had diarrhea. They reverted to infants with their constant cries and help to the toilet. He made each of them take a shower but they wouldn't let him leave the bathroom, so he stayed and waited for them as they bathed behind the frosted shower door. Mercedes showed up at their door with stacks of fresh clothes and linen, and a tray with glasses of ginger ale, dry toast, and tomato soup. Finn thanked her and she hugged him.

That was only the first day. Worse days were to come.

ooo

Rachel was cremated. She didn't want a funeral. The Hummels and the Berries gathered at Sam and Mercedes' house for a celebration of her life as Rachel requested, wearing bright colors – black wasn't allowed.

"Not even black shoes," Rachel said in the instructions left for Finn.

Sam baked her favorite strawberry cake. Mercedes, Aunt Josephine and Abby blew up a bunch of balloons with two rented helium tanks, and inside each balloon was a small note describing what the families loved about Rachel. Everyone contributed their thoughts and Mercedes and Sam transcribed them to paper. Then the notes were rolled up into small thin scrolls, tied with a strip of red ribbon and placed inside the balloon. Each scroll only had a few powerful words, but more words weren't needed.

Rachel is loyal and brave.

Rachel forgives.

The past tense didn't exist in those balloons; for brief moments she lived. He got the idea for the notes because Rachel loved hidden treasures; even as a child, she loved finding shiny coins behind furniture, or pretty rocks on the beach that never caught your eye at first but then looking at them closely, a beautiful world opened up. For all of her rigidity and obsessiveness with healthy food, planning and life, underneath was whimsical, beautiful soul. When they finished the balloons, a rainbow of floating colors bobbed about the living room.

Stacey occupied Rosy and Jake with blowing bubbles and patty cake while everyone prepared for the celebration.

Amidst the flurry of activity, Finn escaped to the bedroom, stared out the window, and listened to the commotion outside his door. It was a sunny day, the cloudless sky was the bluest he had ever seen. Rachel said when she was a little girl she thought God turned the world upside down and froze the ocean to make the sky. And Finn saw the ocean in the sky and heard Rachel's voice.

"I was such a dumb kid."

"You weren't dumb. I think that's sweet."

Rachel looked up at him, the morning light shined in her eyes. They lay in bed. She kissed him.

"Thank you."

Matt and Lucy sat on either side of him. They held his hands.

"I don't want to celebrate." Lucy said.

"Me either," Matt said.

"It's what your mother wanted," Finn said and kissed the tops of their heads.

ooo

Stevie's wife Helen said to Finn:

"I hope Rachel's transition was peaceful."

Her waist length auburn hair shimmered in the afternoon sun like shiny red metal. They stood on the back porch as they drank rainbow sherbert punch, creamy white foam floated on top of the drinks. He knew she meant well and he always liked Helen but her remark unnerved him. He didn't say anything and sipped his punch; he avoided her sympathetic gaze and looked up at the trees. She touched his shoulder.

"Finn?"

He flinched at her touch, though he wasn't sure why, the way she touched him, well-meaning, sweet, only tortured him for some reason. The word transition made it seem like Rachel got a new job. But Rachel didn't move to a corner office; she went to the crematorium.

"Rachel didn't transition. She died."

Before Helen could say anything, he went back into the house.

ooo

The family gathered in the living room to talk about Rachel. Everything was in brilliant Technicolor from the multitude of festive balloons, to the outfits everyone wore: vibrant pink, red and purple dresses; bright blue, green and white shirts, khaki slacks and jeans… and not one speck of black. Music played in the background, something soft and oddly upbeat, a cheery piano tune. The nearby table had a three-tiered pastel pink frosted strawberry cake placed in the middle of it, surrounded by bouquets of multicolored roses wrapped in green paper. The table next to it had a spread laid out with rosemary lemon roast chicken, steamed mixed vegetables and bowls of jasmine rice; it was Rachel's favorite meal.

Finn tried to connect with his family, tried to listen, but his heart wasn't in it. When Sam asked him to say a few words, at first he refused, but then he saw Matt and Lucy gaze at him from the corner of the room and he changed his mind. They knew he wrote something for Rachel and wanted him to read it, and for their sake he did. Sam patted his back and Finn stood in front of the fireplace. He took a piece of paper out of the pocket of his jeans, cleared his throat and began to read:

"I wasn't always the best husband to Rachel. But I loved her. She was a wonderful wife and mother. She came from wealth and fancy schools, listened to Broadway and opera and only ate food I couldn't pronounce, and for reasons I'll never understand, she agreed to be my wife. Far from her comfortable life, she camped in Yellowstone Park and ate franks and beans over an open fire; she sang songs in my old pick-up truck with a rusted out floor, and her voice wrapped me in love; it filled me up, made me strong. It never occurred to her that she was above this life. "I chose you, didn't I?" she would say, whenever I questioned if she made the right choice. And again I was reminded how lucky I was. Even before cancer, Rachel lived like everyday was her last, and no matter what she felt, it came back to love every time. When Matt and Lucy were born, she became their protective warrior; fierce, loving, vulnerable and brave; she encouraged, scolded and challenged. She loved tradition but was never afraid to change. Our children are amazing because of her.

And now she's dead and I don't know what to do. Its horrible and fucked up and I know she wants me and the kids to move on and live our lives, but what she didn't realize is she was our life. If we wake up and get out of bed, then it's a good day. If we stop crying long enough to pray, it's a good day. And if we live with grief, pain and joy all at once, it's a beginning of a new life without Rachel and I'm not sure I want that.

Rachel never shied away from pain. She walked in it, breathed it, lived it and kept going because of her blessings, which were plentiful. They were little things like hearing the children sing or taking a walk at sunset or closing her eyes and feeling the breeze on her face on a summer afternoon. I see the world differently because of her; through her eyes there are ocean filled skies, meteor jewels, and liquid gold sunsets. I never saw any of those things before Rachel. I see her in Lucy's eyes every time she challenges me; I feel her in Matt's touch every time he comforts me and squeezes my hand.

Maybe one day, it won't hurt. Maybe one day I'll be grateful. Until then, I'll feel the agony, anger, pain and regret; I'll cry with our children and we'll live a new normal.

I love you Rachel.

I honor you.

I can't say good-bye to you. I don't know if I'll ever say good-bye.

I'll just end my words.

Because I have none left."

He folded the paper back up and put it in his pocket. Then he excused himself and went upstairs to the bathroom. He closed the door, sat on the edge of the tub, and sobbed.

ooo

After everyone ate, they gathered up the balloons and went to the backyard. On the count of three, they released them into the air, and they soared to the heavens above. Finn and Sam popped open bottles of champagne, and everyone drank glasses of bubbly spirits as they watched the balloons drift and fly away, dotting the sky with brilliant colors. Matt, Lucy, and Abby wrapped their arms around each other, and gazed up at the sky with tear-filled eyes. Finn hugged and kissed them.

Mercedes chatted with Helen and Blaine as they stood beside Speranza's sky-blue house. Her long, purple dress blew in the breeze. Every now and then, she wiped her cheek with the back of her hand while she sipped her drink. Hiram and Sean stood in the middle of the yard, tears flowed from their eyes as they watched the balloons. Then for a moment, they glanced at Finn, and he nodded at them. Aunt Josephine walked over to them, her big red derby hat with red roses, was cocked to the side and concealed part of her face. When Hiram and Sean saw her, they immediately drew her into a hug. Burt and Carol sat under the oak tree with Rosy and Jake, they held the twins on their laps, whispered in their ears. Jake waved at the sky.

"Bye," he said.

Finn wondered if whoever found the balloons would ask who Rachel was and why brief odes to her were hidden inside. These tiny messages celebrated Rachel and shared her with the world. Finn gazed at the balloons, shielded the sunshine with his hand; and he imagined a stupefied stranger finding one of the balloons in their yard; and as they took it down from a tree, it popped on a branch and the message flew out and they would pick it up, untie it, read it and smile, or wonder what the hell it was, you could never tell with people.

Kurt, Sam, Stacey, and Stevie were next to the fire pit. Sam looked at him and opened his arms, his green eyes shined with tears. Finn went to his siblings and they embraced him. They didn't tell him everything would be ok or give him empty condolences; they only held him as he cried.

Then Mercedes began to sing:

To Canaan's land I'm on my way

Where the soul never dies

My darkest night will turn to day

Where the soul never dies

No sad farewells

No tear dimmed eyes

Where all is love

And the soul never dies…

The song shined a tiny light on his spirit. Mercedes voice was beautifully sad and he knew the song was for him as much as it was for Rachel. Her voice carried across the yard, drifted heavenward:

Dear friends there'll be no sad farewells There'll be no tear-dimmed eyes Where all is peace and joy and love And the soul never dies

The rose is blooming there for me Where the soul never dies And I will spend eternity Where the soul never dies

ooo

Mercedes put the last of the food in the fridge and closed the door. Sam poured detergent into the dishwasher and turned it on. The house was quiet. She sat down to the table and stretched her arms. Sam brewed a pot of earl grey tea and fixed them each a cup. He sat down next to her and slid the mug in front of her. She smiled at him, leaned over, and kissed him. They drank their tea in silence. Sam held her hand.

"Schätzchen?"

"Yes?"

"How are you feeling?"

"Exhausted."

"Same here."

She thought of when Shane died. How people told her to stop grieving and move on and that he was in a better place. Mercedes called out their bullshit. Nobody could tell her how to feel. At least Finn expressed his anger, Mercedes was angry too when Shane was killed, but it took longer to bubble to the surface and be released. She wasn't there when he died, but poor Abby was, clinging to his body, just like how Matt and Lucy clung to Rachel's. It tore Mercedes apart. At least the afternoon celebration soothed her.

"The ceremony was nice."

"Yes, it was… you know it's funny how things happen."

"What do you mean?"

"We weren't crazy about Rachel when we first met her. She had this wall up, an air about her."

"What changed your mind?"

"The way she loved Finn. Then she opened up bit by bit and let us in too, and we loved her."

"Walls are safe."

"Yeah."

"I wasn't very popular," Rachel said as she and Mercedes sat on the couch watching Beaches, "So I was a bitch instead, giving people a reason to hate me. I threw myself into music. I was lonely."

"You hurt them before they hurt you."

"Yes, but I stopped. I created my world instead of trying to be a part of theirs. I built walls. I was happier like that… until Finn."

Sam squeezed her hand.

"Baby?"

"Sorry, I zoned out."

"Ok, just checking."

She sipped her tea.

"What happens now?"

"I don't know. I suppose we'll support them as much as we can. Santana is on call 24-7."

They finished their tea, went upstairs, checked on Abby and the twins, changed into their pajamas, brushed their teeth and crawled into bed. Sam held her as they fell asleep, but Mercedes didn't sleep for long. She woke up an hour later, got out of bed, and went to the closet where she got Rachel's letter out of her wooden keepsake box. She went downstairs to the den, turned on the lamp and sat down on the loveseat, opened it and read it.

Dear Mercedes,

I'm writing this at 2:00 in the morning in the bathroom. Finn is crying in the bedroom and he thinks I can't hear him but I do. Why do men think they can hide stuff? Especially husbands. But this letter isn't about Finn. It's about you. I love you. You opened your home to us; you became my sister. You're the only person in the world that smoked weed with me. I still can't believe we did that when everyone was out of the house and we just sat on the back porch and shared a blunt. You never told me how you got it. I knew Finn would freak out, because of my oxygen tank, but I wanted to be reckless. It was worth it. Then we ate ice cream sandwiches and I told you when I was in college I kissed my vocal coach, an older woman with honey blonde hair. And the only thing you wanted to know is if she was a good kisser.

Nothing I said ever fazed you. I told you about my fears and failures. How Finn's affair broke my heart. How Aba and Pop sometimes smothered me. I revealed all of my secrets, things that not even Finn knew, but with you, I shared a sacred sister space, and I could tell you my story just as you told me yours. You're extraordinary and if you ever feel that you fall short of anything, never forget this: You're enough. You're beautiful. You're wonderful. No husband, child or anyone defines you. Abby has one hell of a mother. I applaud how you raised her. She's precious, smart, intuitive, kind, and a beacon of light. Matt and Lucy adore her. She's their sister for life. And if it's ok with you, I'd like to be her second mother in spirit. And Sam is the luckiest man in the world to have you; he's truly blessed.

Mercedes, I hate death. I go from acceptance to rage to sadness in a matter of minutes. But I feel better knowing that you and Sam and Abby are a part of my family's lives.

Thank you for being the sister I wished for.

So, here's to late night talks.

Crying in the kitchen about love and life.

Laughing at pornos at 2 A.M. (I can't believe we did that either, White Chocolate and Black Thunder, lol.)

Singing duets on the back porch. I swear we should've cut an album together. Even though my voice was gone, you sang with me anyway. You understood. I couldn't hit any notes or even remember all the words, but in my mind we soared together and it was magical. And just like Aba and Pop, you became my voice. I dreamed while I was awake. Thank you.

When I said God wasn't listening, and anger filled me, you held my hand, and prayed with me.

I see us in Abby and Lucy by the way they understand each other. I'm grateful that Matt is now a part of their bond too.

Thank you again to you and Sam for being their Godparents. I have nothing left to say except my life was a good one, even with the heartache, loneliness, and uncertainty; the good stuff outweighed the bad.

Love,

Rachel

Mercedes' tears fell onto the letter, smudging the delicate blue ink. She cried a long time until exhaustion set in and she curled up on the loveseat, and fell asleep, holding the letter to her chest.

SO LONG, FAREWELL

Three weeks later…

Finn sat on the back porch drinking beer. A yellow citronella candle burned on the porch rail, it's grassy, lemon-like fragrance filled the air, effectively keeping the mosquitoes away. The moon shined bright in the sky and he recalled Grandpa Hummel's words on his wedding day: "Never chase the stars when you have the moon."

Of course he didn't listen at the time, but much later realized his grandfather was right: Rachel was the moon. Tears fell from his eyes. He finished his beer and opened another. Earlier that night he tucked Matt and Lucy into bed, knowing that inevitably, they would end up in his bed as the night progressed, and he would awaken to find them snuggled up beside him, seeking comfort in being together as they suffered the pain of their mother's death.

Speranza emerged from her house. Her black eyes blinked. She made a funny sound, walked over to the porch, climbed the stairs and stood next to his feet. She looked up at Finn and made another faint call.

"What?" Finn said.

She sat beside him. Finn patted her head and sighed. Speranza cawed. The door opened and Mercedes came out; she wore a long blue cotton nightgown and her hair was in damp curls.

"Hey."

"Hi."

She sat in the chair beside him.

"Nice night."

"Yeah."

"Speranza must think so too," Mercedes said, pointing at the bird, who stared at her with inquisitive eyes.

"Yeah, she does," Finn said and for a moment he smiled, "Strange, isn't she?"

"I think she's nosy."

Finn nodded and drank his beer.

"That too."

They sat in contemplative silence then Mercedes held his hand and said:

"After Shane's funeral, I went back to our house, and Abby went with Aunt Josephine. I remember curling up on the couch in the empty living room and being consumed with pain, just awful, ugly pain, and I'm crying and screaming, and then I can't even cry anymore and I'm just lying there with no tears left. Like my grandma said: my soul was spent. And I accepted it."

"What do you mean?"

"I accepted that this was my situation and it was in fact shitty, and I was going to cry, feel pain and live. I didn't know if it was going to get easier or worse but regardless, I had to live through it the best way I could. I let myself be vulnerable and accepted help when I needed it. I love you and the kids very much and I'm here for you… I know every one's grief is different but I can relate in the broader sense…"

Finn squeezed her hand and kissed it as a few tears rolled down his cheeks.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome," she said.

Finn looked at her.

"You know, I've never said this to anyone, but I hate going to sleep because I dream of her and when I wake up –"

"It's like she died again."

"You understand."

"I do. I had so many dreams of Shane it was ridiculous."

"Wow."

"Sometimes I would talk to him about things and he would listen and just as he was about to tell me how to solve my problems I would wake up."

"So you dream of him now?"

Mercedes smiled.

"Sometimes. I call them his "drop-in visits" but I haven't had a dream like that in a really long time. I think it's because my life has progressed and I've moved on. His spirit is with me, you know? And that's a good thing. But my life and heart belong to Sam."

"I get it."

"And don't think you have to move on because people tell you to. Feel whatever you're feeling. I can't stress that enough. This is your journey and nobody else's. Too many people tried to dictate my grief and it was maddening. You'll progress at your own pace. If you feel stuck I'm here to listen and therapy is good too. Santana helped me a lot."

Finn hugged her.

"I love you, Mercedes, thank you."

"I love you too."

They hugged a while longer and then gently pulled apart. The nighttime stillness surrounded them. Speranza squawked and pecked Finn's foot. The candle glowed in the darkness and together they watched it burn.

ooo

One week later…

"We're going on a road trip," Finn said to Matt and Lucy early one morning as they sat in the kitchen eating bowls of cocoa puffs. Everyone else in the house was still asleep.

"Why?" Matt asked.

"We have to spread your mother's ashes in more than one place. She left instructions."

Lucy stirred the cereal around with her spoon.

"How long will we be gone?"

"I don't know. Hiram and Sean thought it would be good for us to travel around in an RV, so they got us one for the trip. And you don't have to worry about school; Hiram is arranging for you to go to an online school and since he used to teach, he can help you if needed."

"Can Abby come too?"

"Sweetie, I know you guys are close, and I love Abby as much as you do, but I want this trip to be just the three of us, and besides I don't think Sam and Mercedes would want her to go on a road trip at the beginning of the school year.

Lucy continued stirring the cocoa puffs around in her bowl.

"Ok," she whispered.

Finn held her hand.

"This will be good for us."

"If you say so."

"Where are we going first?" Matt said.

"Montana."

"We could just fly, that's faster."

"Your mother wants you to see the road."

"But I get car sick."

"Since when?"

Matt shrugged his shoulders.

"I don't know.

"She wanted this for us. We have to respect her wishes."

"This trip won't bring her back."

"Nobody said it would."

"I don't want to go."

"Matt – "

"I want to stay here."

"I'm not leaving you here. You're coming with us and that's final."

"Dad I – "

"Look, this isn't easy for any of us. But we should honor your mother in the way that she wanted."

"I thought we already did with the ceremony."

"This is different."

"How?"

"It's hard to explain."

They ate in silence. Finn didn't want to discuss everything Rachel said in the letter. After they finished eating, they put the cereal bowls in the dishwasher and went Costco. It was his turn to do grocery shopping, and since there were so many people living under one roof, it was easier to buy stuff in bulk. Once they were inside the store, Finn was relieved that it wasn't crowded. Matt and Lucy ambled along beside him; and they retrieved the items from the shelves as he read them aloud from the list Mercedes gave him. Finn could tell by the stuff on the list that she was making their favorite meal: smoked meatloaf stuffed with mozzarella. Lately, Mercedes made a lot of their favorite foods, he knew that was her way of being kind, but he didn't want her to feel obligated either. As Finn pushed the cart toward the bakery department, Matt said:

"What kind of bread are we getting?"

Finn checked the list.

"Wheat. Three loaves."

While Matt got the bread, Lucy said:

"We should get a cake."

"Well… ok, pick one out," Finn said.

Lucy chose a yellow sheet cake with chocolate frosting and pink roses. After they paid for their groceries and left the store, Finn took the scenic route home, using back roads, he liked driving passed the fertile farmland with cows grazing in the pasture. Matt fell asleep. Lucy texted Abby on her phone. He thought about turning on the radio but decided that silence was better. When they got home, they helped him unload the car and put away the groceries. Afterwards, Matt and Lucy went upstairs, and Finn brewed a cup of coffee, and went into the living room where he found Sam lounging on the couch with his laptop; he had bedhead and needed to shave. Sam looked up from his computer.

"Hey."

Finn sat beside him.

"What are you up to?"

"Monthly bills. Where'd you go?"

"Costco."

"Oh yeah, I forgot it was your turn. So have you told the kids about the trip?"

"Yeah."

"How did it go?"

"About as good as I thought it would."

"They didn't want to go?"

"No."

"I know how they feel."

"You don't want us to go either."

Sam closed his laptop and sat it on the coffee table.

"When you told me, I was like, yeah, ok, this is what he needs to do, but after I thought about it. I just think maybe you should hold off."

"Why?"

"With everything that's happened I think you should regroup and relax. Continue your sessions with Santana."

"The sessions won't stop. We can Skype. I need this time alone with the kids. I think you're afraid for me to go."

"How'd you know?"

"You still get that little boy fear in your eyes when you're scared. It's like you're 6 years old again and you didn't want me to dive into the water."

"You remember that?"

"How could I forget? You stood by the pool, holding onto that ratty teddy bear and your eyes got misty, you didn't cry, you just stood there watching and then I said – "

Sam finished his sentence.

"Then you said, I'll be alright, Sammy. I can do this. Don't be scared."

"And I was fine, wasn't I?"

"We aren't kids any more."

"I get that. But I can handle this."

"I didn't want you to die," Sam said, "That's why I was scared."

"I promise to call or text everyday. And I'll make sure Matt and Lucy have contact with Abby too."

"The separation will be hard for them."

"I know."

"This isn't forever, Sam, we just have to do this."

"I understand."

Finn hugged him.

"You've been a great brother to me; I could never get through this without you."

Sam held Finn tight.

"Be careful."

"I will."

ooo

Abby, Lucy, and Matt were in Abby's bedroom watching TV. They cuddled on her bed and watched a 80s slasher flick about killer clowns, laughing at the blood and gore. A birthday cake scented candled burned on the windowsill

"Mom, would be so mad right now," Lucy said.

"I don't want you desensitized to violence," Matt said, laughing and imitating Rachel's voice.

"What else would she say?" Lucy said.

"I'm not raising violent children."

Abby and Lucy laughed and hugged Matt, until he pulled away and a moment later, he began to cry.

"It hurts," he said.

"I know," Abby said, remembering how she felt when her father died.

She and Lucy embraced him.

"Sometimes I feel like running away." Matt said.

"You can't run from it." Abby said.

"Is that how you felt when you couldn't talk?"

"Sort of. But I wanted to change everything and realized I couldn't."

"Oh."

"I don't want to go on that trip," Lucy said.

"It might not be so bad," Abby said.

Matt laid his head on Abby's shoulder.

"I still haven't read Mom's letter."

Abby didn't know what to say, so she said nothing.

They finished watching the movie, the three of them holding hands, as tears slipped down their cheeks.

ooo

Later that day the entire family had dinner in the back yard. Finn enjoyed the delicious smoked meatloaf stuffed with mozzarella; the hickory chips used in the wood-pellet grill gave the dish a distinct cured flavor. Aunt Josephine said it beat her meatloaf by a mile. They ate at the picnic table with Speranza wandering about nearby. They had the Costco cake for desert and Rosy and Jake tried to grab the pink frosting roses off of the cake. Though the meal was rather somber, with Lucy and Matt sitting on either side of him, he was grateful for being with his family. When they held hands to pray before the meal, he squeezed their hands, and they leaned against him. After dinner, everyone sat around the table talking, and watched the sunset. Finn thought of Rachel, and how she loved sunsets, the golden light in her hair. Before he could stop himself, tears fell from his eyes, and Lucy picked up a napkin and gently wiped his cheeks, while Matt hugged him.

ooo

Finn, Matt and Lucy left early on a Saturday morning. The air was cool as the sun began to rise in the horizon. Speranza pecked at their feet and squawked as they patted her head. Everyone gathered in the yard while they loaded up their RV. Hiram and Sean, Stacey, Aunt Josephine, Sam, Mercedes, Jake, Rosy and Abby all gave them heartfelt hugs and good-byes. Abby, Matt and Lucy held each other a long time before pulling apart, promising each other they would talk everyday. Mercedes packed them goodies for the trip: chocolate chip cookies, gingerbread men, and sandwiches. She knew that would hold them for a while, especially if Finn didn't feel like stopping. Finally, Finn announced that they really had to go and he and the kids got in the RV and drove away with everyone waving as they drifted further away into the distance.

THE FIVE OF US

Aunt Josephine took a plane back to Ohio the next day and Stacey went home too. Hiram and Sean went to London.

And the house was empty.

Mercedes couldn't believe that now it was only her, Sam and the kids. She loved it. Though she would miss the others, she wanted this time alone with her family. They needed it. They barely had any time together as a family and then Rachel got sick and it all snowballed from there, and while she was thankful they could help and she did not regret opening their home, she wanted this peace of waking up with only her husband and children in the house. It was a rainy Sunday afternoon. She and Sam cuddled on the sofa, sipping tea, his arm wrapped around her. Abby played with Jake and Rosy on the floor; they built a tower out of colorful plastic blocks. Mercedes laid her head on Sam's shoulder.

"This is nice."

"It is."

"How's your back?"

"A little sore, but I'm ok," He said and kissed the top of her head, "I love how you worry about me."

"It's my job."

"I thought it was my job to worry about you."

"It's both of our jobs then."

"Fair enough," he said, kissing her cheek. "You smell like cookie dough."

Mercedes laughed.

"I made a batch of sugar cookie dough to bake later on."

"What's the occasion?"

"No reason. I thought it would be fun for us to bake cookies."

"Can we use the pink sugar crystals?" Abby asked as she picked up a purple block and placed it on the tower.

"Sure, and we'll use the other sprinkles we have too and color the frosting."

"What do you want for dinner?" Sam asked.

"Pizza," Mercedes said, "We can order it from Ledo's."

"Ok."

Mercedes closed her eyes and yawned, the sound of the rain, made her sleepy.

Sam kissed her forehead.

"My Sleeping Beauty."

"So now, I'm a blonde fairytale princess?"

"No, you're my sexy, curvy princess with beautiful black hair."

"I thought I was your queen."

"That too. Hell, you're the whole damn kingdom."

Mercedes chuckled and kissed him.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

The kids grew bored with playing on the floor and joined their parents on the couch. The twins climbed onto their laps, and Abby snuggled up beside Sam.

"Papa, sing my lullaby."

Sam began to sing:

"Lay down your head and I'll sing you a lullaby Back to the years of loo-li lai-lay And I'll sing you to sleep and I'll sing you tomorrow Bless you with love for the road that you go

May you sail far to the far fields of fortune With diamonds and pearls at your head and your feet And may you need never to banish misfortune May you find kindness in all that you meet…"

Mercedes was surprised that Abby asked him to sing it. It had been a long time since he's sung it to her, after she began speaking again and continued her therapy with Santana, she no longer suffered from her sleep disorder. Rosy and Jake smiled at their father as he sang and then began to yawn, when he started the final verse, their eyelids drooped and they closed their eyes. When he was finished, the twins were asleep, and so was Abby.

"I think I'm gonna doze a bit too," Sam whispered.

"How can you sleep with – "

"I can manage." He said as he stroked Rosy's curly head. Her chubby arms were wrapped around his waist and her head rested against his chest, "You know, all my life, I've wanted this, so no matter how hard it gets, it always comes back to our family, how much I love you and the kids, For a long time I never thought any of this would happen."

Mercedes caressed Jake's fat cheeks as he shifted a little and grabbed a handful of her shirt, squeezing the fabric, while he slept, his head on her ample bosom.

"We've been through a lot," she said, "I'm glad it's just us now."

"Me too."

Mercedes kissed him and laid her head on his shoulder. Soon she was asleep too.

ooo

When they woke from their nap, they went into the kitchen and baked cookies. The cookies looked like a unicorn dreamland with sugar sparkles and sprinkles and rainbow colored dough. Rosy and Jake liked pressing the round cookie-cutter into the flattened dough, and sprinkling the cookies with sugar. Though, more sugar landed on the floor, it was fun for Mercedes to do something as a family.

While the cookies baked, Mercedes, Sam, and Abby sat around the table talking while Rosy and Jake played with their toy trucks, racing them up and down the kitchen floor.

"I have something to ask you," Abby said.

"What is it?" Mercedes said as she sipped her tea.

"You know Travis? A kid in my class?"

"Who?"

"I know him," Sam said.

"He asked me to go to the movies next weekend."

"No," Mercedes said, without hesitation.

"Why not?"

"You're too young."

"I'm almost eleven."

"So?"

"Cedes, may I speak with you alone?" Sam said, rising from his chair.

"Alright."

"You two are going to talk about me, aren't you?" Abby said.

"Watch your brother and sister," Mercedes said and followed Sam out of the kitchen. They went upstairs to their bedroom and closed the door. Mercedes sat on the bed and Sam sat down beside, holding her hand.

"I think we should let her go."

"She's too young."

"It's only the movies."

"I don't want her mind getting filled with boys and God knows what else."

"She already knows about sex."

"I don't mean that. I mean the emotions that come with crushing on someone and dating and… I don't know. Just everything. She'll get enough of that in high school."

"Well, she does have a crush on him," Sam said.

"How do you know?"

"She told me."

Mercedes looked down at the floor. Something about Sam knowing Abby had a crush and she didn't know about it bothered her.

"Cedes?"

"Let me think about it."

"Something else is bothering you."

"When did Abby tell you about her crush?"

"About a month ago."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I don't know. I didn't think it was that important. A lot of stuff was going on with Rachel and Finn."

"You didn't think our daughter's first crush was important?"

"I didn't mean – "

"Why didn't Abby tell me? She used to tell me everything."

"Is that why you're angry?"

"I'm not angry… ok, I'm a little angry. Our house was so full. Did I forget about her?"

"No, and I don't think she feels that way either."

"So much has changed. I never want her to think that she can't come to me."

"I think you're overreacting. You've never neglected Abby."

"So you think we should let her go?"

"Why don't we make it a group thing, if a few other kids go, then it won't be like a date, if you want to call it that."

"I want to meet him first and his parents too."

"Why does this bother you so much?"

"It just does. I hate how kids grow up so fast."

"Baby, it's only a movie."

"I know… but… the group thing sounds better. Maybe her friend Melanie can go too. Did you ask a girl to the movies at that age?"

"No, but I went to my first school dance with my friends. And a few girls asked me to dance."

"You didn't ask them?"

He shook his head.

"Nope, I was afraid to, but if I had known you at that age, I would've asked you to dance."

"I highly doubt that."

"Why?"

"Sam, don't take this the wrong way but… even though I know you love me, I don't think we would've been friends had we grown up together."

"What makes you say that?"

"I know I'm beautiful. But when I was a kid, I was the invisible one. And don't think this is a pity party or anything because it isn't, but in a sea of girls who looked like Barbie dolls, I wasn't first choice or anyone's choice for that matter. That's just how life was, and besides, I had other things to worry about like bill collectors calling the house."

"I can't believe that after all we've been through, you would think so little of me."

"I don't think little of you at all. I love you and we fell in love with each other at the right time."

"So how are you so sure that I wouldn't have fell for you if I met you when we were kids?"

"Remember the story you told me about Callie; the girl you bullied in high school?"

Sam hung his head.

"Yeah."

"I was like Callie, except I didn't experience any wrath, I was forgotten."

"I won't deny that I was a dick in high school. But I don't see what that incident, has to do with anything."

"You were a popular jock and model. I was ignored."

Sam kissed her.

"You got it all wrong. You're beautiful. I think if I saw you at a dance, I would've marched right over to you, held out my hand and asked you to dance, and I would've twirled you around the gym under a cheesy disco ball."

"That's sweet, Sam."

"You don't sound convinced."

"It doesn't matter. We're adults now and we love each other and have a family."

"You really know how to kill a moment."

"I'm sorry."

"I made it up to Callie."

"I know. But before you changed, you conformed for survival."

"How come you never said this before?"

"It wasn't an issue and it still isn't. I mentioned it now because of what you said about liking me when we were kids. I wouldn't have been on your radar, but that's not a bad thing, I fell in love with you even more when you told me that story, because you were willing to share the shameful parts of yourself, and show me how you became the man you are now. I cherish that."

Sam was quiet for a moment, and he said:

"Conform or not, you would've caught my eye. I swear by that. You're acting like I wouldn't have found you attractive and that's not true."

Mercedes hugged him tight.

"Like I said, we met each other at the right time."

"I suppose so," Sam said, but his voice was sad.

She pulled back from him and stroked his cheek.

"I changed my mind. I believe you would've asked me to dance."

"You're only saying that to make me feel better," he said kissing her, "And I appreciate it. I also love you very much."

"I love you too."

"You were on Puck's radar."

"True, but Puck was never a golden boy."

"So I was a golden boy?"

"I didn't realize this would upset you so much."

"I just hate… I hate that you think this."

"Why?"

"I don't know."

Suddenly they heard Abby calling out to them:

"Mommy, Papa, the timer went off!"

"Come on, let's get these cookies out of the oven," Mercedes said, pulling Sam with her as she stood up.

"We're continuing this conversation later."

"Oh, Sam."

"I'm serious. But back to what we came up here to discuss, I think the group thing should work, you're comfortable with that, right?"

"I am."

"Good."

ooo

"Look at me," Sam said as he thrust into Mercedes, who lay naked beneath him. He didn't want her to close her eyes for a second; he rolled his hips slowly to prolong the pleasure.

She opened her eyes, those big, pretty, doe eyes that he fell in love with the moment he saw her for the first time, and she smiled up at him. He leaned down and kissed her, touching her twisted hair, as her breasts bounced, and he saw the faint, light brown stretch marks on them that appeared after the twins were born. Another beautiful part of her to love, he touched them as he gazed down at her, and a few moments later, she came, and cried out, clinging to him, and he held her. His orgasm was just as intense, and he shook in her arms, until everything was still.

"Wow," she whispered.

Sam nodded and they kissed.

"Thirsty?" he asked.

"Yeah."

He let go of her, and leaned over and took two bottles of water out of the mini fridge next to his side of the bed. They bought the fridge for situations like this one, when neither of them wanted to go downstairs to the kitchen for cold water. He opened it for her and gave her the bottle.

"Thanks," she said as she took a sip. He kissed her again.

"You're beautiful."

"I'm a hot, sweaty mess."

"You're supposed to say thank you."

She took another sip of water.

"Thank you."

"That's better."

They lay in bed drinking their water, and kissing now and then, afterwards, Sam needed her again and Mercedes obliged, she faced the wall, and he entered her from behind, he wanted to see her generous rear end, wiggle and shake as he pumped in and out of her.

When they finished; they were exhausted and satiated. Sam held her as he fell asleep.

MAY I HAVE THIS DANCE?

Sam stood in the middle of his high school cafeteria under the bright fluorescent lights; he wore his red letterman jacket. The air smelled like mashed potatoes and that God-awful Tuna Surprise they served every Wednesday. Everyone around him chanted: "Beast, Beast…"

Fists raised in the air, the teenage chorus of jocks, geeks, nobodies, and somebodies, all came together for the sole purpose of crushing the spirit of one unfortunate girl: Callie Brewster.

They formed a circle around her empty table. She stared down at the dog food dumped on her plate, covering the tuna casserole; tears streamed down her cheeks. Her granny glasses slid down her nose; the long plaid dress she wore didn't fit in with what the other kids wore. It was anachronistic.

Sam couldn't remember why they did it or wanted to do it. Nothing felt real except the pain he felt as he watched her dissolve. His friend Ralph, all red-haired and freckled, nudged him in the side and winked as if they had accomplished something worth celebrating as opposed to just being the bullies that they were. Ralph had a huge pimple on his chin that looked ready to burst; Sam grew sick to his stomach.

His girlfriend Keira put her arm around his waist, her blue eyes sparkled as she kissed his cheek. Her hot pink mini dress showed off her tanned arms and legs and perky cleavage.

"You did it!"

"Beast, Beast, Beast!" The crowd screamed.

Callie looked up from the gross pile of dog food and ran out of the cafeteria. Sam pushed Keira away and followed her. He yelled her name but she ignored him and exited through the heavy red doors; he chased her down the hallway and followed her into the girls' bathroom. She stood by the row of white porcelain sinks and to his shock Mercedes was there with her arm around Callie.

"Leave her alone," she said.

"Mercedes what are you –"

"Who are you?"

"It's me, Sam, your husband."

She looked at him with no recognition in her eyes; then he realized that she was about 16 years old with her leopard print shirt and white hat.

"I don't know you."

"Mercedes I – "

"When you hurt her, you hurt me."

Before Sam could say anything else, she took Callie's hand, pushed passed him, knocking him against the sinks, and left the bathroom. When Sam opened the bathroom door, he was no longer in the school, but standing on a street in a bad neighborhood with houses that had bars on the windows, overgrown yards and litter everywhere. A little girl stood in the middle of the street, wearing a long, white night gown, her hair was in pigtails, and she clutched a teddy bear. Sam walked over to her, and as he got closer he saw the tears in her eyes. It was his Cedes, alone and scared. He didn't say anything, only opened his arms to hug her, but she pushed him away.

"Where's Aunt Josephine?"

"Mercedes, I'm here. I can help you."

"I don't like strangers. Where's Aunt Josephine?"

"Calm down, let me help you."

"She's always gone."

"I know."

"You can't help me. I don't know you."

She ran away from him and went into the house across the street, with peeled blue paint and a broken white fence. All her sadness consumed him. He followed her into the house and when he got inside, she wasn't a little girl anymore; she was around 13 years old and she sat on a brown leather couch near a window, gazing out into the yard next door. She wore denim shorts and a red t-shirt; her feet were bare; she didn't see him at all, her attention was on the house next door; Sam looked out the window and saw that the neighborhood had changed. It was actually nice with well-kept lawns and fairytale houses in warm, bright colors that reminded him of Candyland; it felt surreal, the lush green grass, sparkling blue sky, even the paved street glittered beneath the sun. Mercedes was fixated on the woman weeding her back yard while her toddler twin girls ran about. The woman sang as she worked, tanned and beautiful, her skin was rich and dark as a black opal; her girls were replicas of her.

"That's my mother," Mercedes said to no one. "When she goes inside, she'll bake cookies for me."

Sam said nothing and let her talk.

"That's my family."

Sam listened to her dream. "I've got twin sisters. I'll teach them everything."

Sam sat beside her as Mercedes narrated her fantasy life, while staring out the living room window.

"My father is an accountant. He crunches numbers all day. I have lots of friends and all the boys think I'm pretty."

"You are pretty."

Mercedes looked at him for the first time. Instead of fear or anger, she showed no emotion.

"Nobody thinks I'm pretty."

Sam touched her cheek.

"I do."

"Who are you?"

"A friend."

"I don't have friends."

"I'll be your friend."

"You're too old."

"I'm –"

"Can you give me a new family? I want a mother and father."

"No, I can't, I –"

"Nobody can do anything."

Sam reached for her hand, not knowing what to say. How could he give her the impossible? What did he have to offer?

The front door opened, and Sam heard Aunt Josephine call out:

"Mercy, where are you?"

Mercedes opened the window.

"Go."

Sam climbed out the window into the alley between the houses, and ran away, until he was at McKinley High School, he went inside, and the halls were crowded. He saw Mercedes navigating the halls, this time as a 16 year old again, she adjusted the straps on her backpack, kids bumped into her, not saying excuse me, others gave her terse hellos, she kept her head down and pushed through, and Sam realized what she meant: she was invisible. His heart broke. He wanted to hold her hand and save her, from what he wasn't sure. He wanted to tell her she was beautiful, because she was, and that they would be together, and she wouldn't want for anything. He followed her to the stairwell, and stayed a good distance behind her as she descended the stairs and went outside. She sat on a bench beneath an oak tree; she took off her backpack, unzipped it and retrieved a red leather journal. She opened it and began to write. Sam was about to go to her when Puck came walking up the sidewalk, and called her name.

"Mercy!"

She looked up from her journal and smiled at him. He sat beside her and kissed her cheek.

"Beautiful," he said and kissed her again.

Sam was angry. He wanted to be the one who called her beautiful. Nobody else had permission. His irrational thoughts made him obsessive; he watched as they got up from the bench, holding hands, and he walked over to them.

"Excuse me," Sam said, staring at Mercedes.

Mercedes looked at him.

"Yes?"

Puck eyed Sam with suspicion.

"Who the fuck are you?"

Mercedes gazed up at Puck and he squeezed her hand, pulling her closer to him, protecting her. Sam tried to speak.

"I'm – "

"What's an old guy like you wearing a letterman jacket?" Puck said.

Sam saw them for the teenagers that they were: young, dumb and in love. What was he doing there? He looked at Mercedes:

"You'll be ok."

She stared at him as if she understood.

"Who are you?"

"I'm Sam."

Then somehow, he knew that she knew, not consciously, but on a subconscious level, they were tethered in their lives, and would be together in another time and place, yet for now, he relinquished all rights to being savior.

"Why wouldn't she be ok, she's with me," Puck said, "Get the fuck away from us."

Sam understood his anger. He wasn't supposed to be in that time and place. This was her journey, not his. He refrained from touching her, though he wanted to. He gazed at her for a long moment; and she stared back, just as intently.

"I would've asked you to dance," Sam said and walked away from them.

He continued walking through Lima and later he saw Mercedes standing on the Lima Baptist church steps in a white wedding dress, Shane is beside her and a photographer snapped their picture.

Then he saw her kneeling beside Shane's grave, with Abby beside her. She's crying and talking to the headstone.

"I miss you," she said.

He can't bear to look anymore and walked down the street until he's far away from the cemetery.

ooo

When Sam woke up from his dream, he was sobbing. Mercedes held him in the dark.

"It's ok," she whispered.

Sam held her tight against his chest, smelled her cocoa butter lotion on her skin. She didn't ask him what was wrong; she only stroked his back, and rocked him in her arms. When he was able to speak, he turned on the lamp to look into her eyes.

"There's not a moment in my life that I wouldn't have loved you if I had known you."

"Sam…"

"But I understand your journey. When you said that stuff about high school, I got upset because it took away my belief that if we met earlier, we would've been together. I always wished that I had met you sooner."

"Is that what you dreamed?"

Sam nodded, kissing her.

"I know I would've loved you, but I wasn't what you needed."

"That was some dream."

"It was. I wanted to be the one to save you from everything, even the stuff that happened before we met."

Mercedes hugged him and Sam was grateful that she didn't ask for more details. He wasn't sure if he could tell her without dissolving into tears again. Somehow having the dream made him love her even more. They held each other a long time before going back to sleep.

AND THEY CALL IT PUPPY LOVE

Much to Abby's consternation, Sam and Mercedes invited Travis and his parents over for dinner.

"Why did you invite them?" Abby asked Mercedes as she watched her mother stir the pot on the stove, "I thought you were ok with me going to the movies as long as it was a group."

"We're ok with it," Mercedes said, "But we always like to meet your friends' parents. We've met Melanie's and Jill's parents."

"This is different," Abby said, sitting down to the kitchen table.

"Because it's a boy?"

Abby shrugged.

"I guess."

"Boy or girl, we still meet the parents. You're not ashamed of us are you?"

"Of course not."

Mercedes sighed as she put the lid back on the pot. She wiped her hands with a dishtowel and turned to face her daughter.

"We do this because we love you."

"I know."

"Go upstairs and wash up; they'll be here soon."

"Where's Papa?"

"He's in the shower."

"Did he get his haircut?"

"Yes, why?"

"I just want him to look good."

"Your Papa always looks good regardless of his hair."

"Maybe we can cancel."

"We'll do no such thing. What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing."

"Go upstairs and wash up like I asked."

"I'm going," Abby said, but she remained seated and stared at Mercedes.

"Are you going to keep that scarf on your head?" She asked.

"Yes, I plan to wear my head scarf," Mercedes said, "And I'm going to chew with my mouth open and fart a lot."

"Mommy, be serious."

"I am being serious. Now, go on and get ready."

After Abby left, Mercedes checked on the pot roast in the oven; saw that it was done, took it out, and placed it on the marble countertop. She was glad that Stacey agreed to babysit the twins for the evening; as much as she loved her babies, she wanted the dinner to be free of noise and distractions. She went upstairs to their bedroom and changed into her long, empire waist royal blue cotton dress, and fixed her hair into a French twist. Sam walked out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist. He saw Mercedes sitting at her vanity table and walked over to her, kissing her cheek.

"You look beautiful."

"Thank you. Our daughter thinks we'll embarrass her."

"Is that right?"

"She asked if you got a haircut," Mercedes said as she applied her lipstick.

"I guess she liked Travis more than I thought."

"And that worries me. I want her to focus on friendship."

"I understand and we'll talk to her about it."

Mercedes stared at her reflection and touched up her blush.

"I hope dinner goes well."

Sam kissed her again, removed his towel, walked over to the dresser and took out a clean pair of underwear with a golden pancakes and syrup pattern on them. Mercedes felt aroused watching him, but knew the guests were coming soon, and fought against it. Sam caught her staring at him, as he pulled on his boxers. He smiled at her.

"Come here."

Mercedes rose from the vanity table and joined him by the bed.

"Lie down."

Mercedes did as he asked, lying back on the bed. Sam pushed up her dress and pulled down her blue silk panties. His fingers probed her wet heat, and Mercedes raised her hips in response. Sam took off his boxers and plunged inside of her, taking his time, stroking her slowly, watching her shiver beneath him. Mercedes wrapped her thick thighs around his narrow waist, coaxing him to go deeper, until she came and so did he. After taking a moment to catch her breath, she said:

"Thank you."

"You're welcome. I needed it too."

He kissed her and rolled off of her, once he stood up, he took her hand and helped her off the bed. They went into the bathroom where he washed between her legs with a warm washcloth and put her panties back on, though reluctantly.

"Sam, I know what you're thinking, she said as he slid the panties up her smooth legs and squeezed her butt cheeks. "That's for another time and place."

"If you say so."

They kissed and she resisted his hardened length as she cleaned him. When she finished, she said:

"I'm going downstairs. Don't take too long getting dressed because I need your help in the kitchen."

"Yes, ma'am," he said, kissing her once more.

ooo

Travis and his parents arrived about half an hour later. They brought a cheesecake and a bottle of homemade sparkling cider, Travis's father, Ben Wilder boasted that his wife could make anything from scratch, and she even made Travis' clothes until he wanted store-bought ones. Travis looked embarrassed when Ben said this; he had curly light brown hair, blue eyes, and was only a little taller than Abby; his white T-shirt had Wilder Farms written across it with pictures of vegetables underneath.

He handed Mercedes a bouquet of pink tea roses, and said they were from their flower garden. His mother, Rosalie, had a loud laugh and crooked teeth; her tangerine orange peasant blouse and skirt went well with her long, wavy, auburn hair. Ben had a beard and messy curly blond hair; his white shirt was wrinkled and the jeans he wore had holes in the knees.

Once they settled in the dining room, and began to eat dinner, Mercedes enjoyed getting to know the Wilders. Abby and Travis said very little but the adults talked non-stop. Travis' family lived on a farm and owned an online business that sold used farm equipment.

"So Travis, how do you like Star Pride Academy?" Mercedes asked as she passed him the steaming bowl of mashed potatoes.

"I like it," Travis said.

"What class do you and Abby have together?" Sam asked.

"All of them."

"All except Physical Education," Abby said.

"Travis told us that Abby can fix anything," Rosalie said as she cut into her meat, "He said she fixed the cabinet door in the science lab."

"She's always liked fixing things, isn't that right Abby?" Mercedes said.

"I guess," Abby said, and avoided eye contact with her mother while she ate her meal.

That was all the kids said during dinner. Ben talked about their farm. They grew corn, soybeans, wheat, and a variety of vegetables. Rosalie and Mercedes discussed canning and Sam talked about his house-flipping business.

After dessert, Travis and Abby went outside to visit Speranza, and Mercedes asked Rosalie and Ben if they wanted any coffee as she and Sam cleared the table.

"Yes, I'd love some," Rosalie said, "And dinner was delicious."

"Thank you," Mercedes said.

"I'll take a cup of tea if you have it," Ben said.

"Sure thing," Sam said as he followed Mercedes into the kitchen.

"They're nice," Mercedes said once she and Sam were out of earshot in the kitchen.

"Yeah, I think so too."

"Abby was awfully quiet."

"Yeah, but that's to be expected. Travis was quiet too."

"Seems like a good kid."

"He does. Do you feel better about everything?"

"I do."

"It's innocent enough. They're only kids."

Mercedes looked out the kitchen window and watched Travis and Abby feed grapes to Speranza.

"But things are different nowadays and I want her to stay a kid as long as possible."

Sam filled the coffee pot with water.

"We can't stop her from growing up; that's going to happen regardless. We can only see her through it."

ooo

After they made the tea and coffee, they went into the dining room. Rosalie and Ben were talking quietly to each other and smiled when they saw Sam and Mercedes.

"We were just saying what a nice home you had; and how much we like Abby," Rosalie said, "We're glad she and Travis are friends."

"Thank you, and so are we," Mercedes said.

"You'll have to come to dinner at our house next time," Ben said, taking a sip of his tea, "Travis will hate us for it, but he'll survive."

Sam laughed.

"Abby wasn't pleased with us either."

"So why do you have a pet peacock?" Ben said.

"She just showed up one day and decided to stay."

"Interesting."

"We're having a get-together with a few old college friends about a month from now, would you two like to come? We're trying to expand our social circle, the farm takes up a lot of our time and we don't get out much," Rosalie said, "I think you'll like our friends too."

"Sure, we'd love to," Mercedes said.

After they chatted a while longer and had more cheesecake, it was getting late and the Wilders bid them all goodnight, with hugs and promises of getting together again soon. Once they were gone, Sam, Mercedes and Abby cleaned the kitchen and loaded the dishwasher. Abby was quiet as she did her chores. When she was done, she asked if she could go to her room, but Mercedes said:

"We'd like to talk with you first."

Abby sighed and sat down to the kitchen table.

"Yes?"

"Sugarplum, we know you're growing up, and that's a good thing," Sam said.

Abby stared at the table, and then looked up at him.

"Is this about sex? Because you guys already told me."

"No, it isn't about sex."

"Ok."

Mercedes held her hand.

"There's nothing wrong with having crushes."

"Oh God," Abby said, her face turning red.

"Hear me out. Those feelings are fine," Mercedes said squeezing her hand, "We just want you to focus on friendship. That's all."

"May I be excused?"

"You're excused," Mercedes said, giving her a hug, "Lights out in thirty minutes."

"Good night," Abby said, and hugged them both before leaving the kitchen.

"That went well," Sam said, his tone sarcastic.

"Maybe we shouldn't have said anything."

"Maybe. But it's not like we don't want them to hang out together."

"True," Mercedes said and yawned, "We'll just see what happens and not say anything else."

Sam put his arm around her.

"Stacey should be here soon with the twins."

Mercedes looked at the clock on the wall next to the fridge.

"You're right she should. I hope they didn't drive her crazy."

"You know they did."

"Probably."

A few minutes later, the doorbell rang. Mercedes and Sam answered it and found Stacey standing on their doorstep with Rosy and Jake fast asleep in her arms. Rosy had a French fry in her hair and Jake's face was smudged with ketchup. Sam and Mercedes took their children, chuckling at their appearance. Stacey's blonde ponytail was askew and the front of her yellow sundress was stained with red punch. A tuft of pink cotton candy was stuck to her cheek.

"We had an adventure at Playland," she said, "They fell asleep on our way home."

"Thanks so much for babysitting," Mercedes said, "We really appreciate it."

"Don't mention it. I would come in but I'm beat, so I'll just say good night."

"Bye, sis, and thanks again," Sam said, and removed the cotton candy from her cheek and gave her a kiss.

After she left, they took the twins upstairs, undressed and bathed them, and tucked them away in their cribs. Finally, they made it to their bedroom and Sam shut the door behind them; he helped Mercedes take off her dress, and noticed her shoulders were stiff, so he had her sit on the bed and he massaged them, kissing her neck now and then, Mercedes eyes closed and she yawned, enjoying his hands kneading into her tight shoulder muscles. He unclasped her bra and squeezed her ample, stretch-marked breasts, pinching her plump, erect nipples, and Mercedes melted, a warmth spread through her belly and settled between her thighs, a pulsating desire.

Sam pushed her back on the bed and pulled on the waistband of her panties, taking them off, and removed his boxers. They lovingly explored each other's bodies; she glided her wanton hands over his tight, muscular buttocks, and had the urge to possess him. Feeling bold she pushed her husband onto his back, dangled her breasts over his face as he suckled them; he was hard and needed her; she guided him inside her, and began to ride him.

"Cedes…"

Mercedes wanted him to feel the abundant love she had for him, regardless of his savior delusions and awakening dreams, love, space and time brought them together. She rocked her broad hips, squeezing him within her. Then Sam came harder than he's ever had, crying out her name and moaning his release, filling her up with his seed. Mercedes pumped her hips a few more times and shook on top of him as he held her. Sam ran his hands up and down her back, whispering declarations of love, nuzzling her neck. They cuddled for a long time, kissing and holding one another, feeling the rhythm of their heartbeats.

GROWING PAINS

As the school year progressed, Abby went on quite a few group outings with her friends. She spent more time in her room with the door closed and took longer getting dressed on the weekends, carefully choosing her outfits. Gone were the days of overalls and ugly Santa sweaters. Now it was floral leggings, Sloane boots, and bangle bracelets. However, and to Mercedes' joy, the tool belt stayed, and she was still a little girl who loved bird watching and star gazing, having Sam comb her hair, and playing hide and seek with Rosy and Jake. For Abby's eleventh birthday, instead of a party, she asked Sam and Mercedes to take a group of her friends to the movies and then for pizza at Ledo's Pizzeria afterwards. Travis and Melanie were among the six guests.

When the waiter brought out the pink frosted birthday cake, Rosy and Jake, dressed in jeans and red Elmo sweaters, clapped and cheered the loudest: they loved Abby so much. The only downside to the beautiful day was the absence of Lucy and Matt. Abby talked to them everyday and she missed them. Lucy sent her a round, glittering gold laughing emoji purse for her birthday and Matt sent her a framed handmade poster that listed all the elements that made up the stars; the backdrop was covered with sparkling silver stars against a dark blue night sky. Finn didn't know when they would be back, but he liked being on the road and reconnecting with his kids, and to have this time to grieve together.

Melanie gave her a Tocca Meet the Girls perfume collection and Travis' gift was two green crystal quartz geode halves, and when she separated them, inside was a small antique gold key. Abby smiled at the key. Everyone else was perplexed.

"What's the key for?" Sam asked.

Abby looked at him, suddenly shy with all the attention.

"Oh, nothing."

Sam was confused as was everyone else, but then they began to eat cake and the mystery was forgotten. It didn't escape Mercedes' notice that Travis' ears turned pink when Abby spoke of the key. So her daughter had secrets. This bemused and worried her all at once. Rosy patted Mercedes' shoulder getting pink frosting on her mother's blouse.

"Ma."

"Yes, baby?"

"Eat," she said pointing to the untouched cake on Mercedes' plate.

Mercedes laughed and kissed Rosy's cheek.

"Ok, Miss Busybody, I'll eat."

"It's good cake," Sam said.

Mercedes took a bite and agreed with him.

"Yes, it is good."

After they finished the cake, they took more pictures and the owner, Frank Ledo, gave them a pizza to take home free of charge because it was Abby's birthday.

"Frank, are you sure?" Mercedes asked as he handed her the large pizza.

"Of course I'm sure. You're my best customers," he said, smiling at her with his perfect white teeth, flour was smudged on his olive toned cheeks.

"Thanks, man," Sam said.

"No problem, and my pleasure."

Abby gave Frank a hug thanking him for the pizza.

"You're welcome, Tesoro," he said.

As they drove home, it began to snow, and the kids fell asleep in the back seat. Mercedes loved how the town looked like a Thomas Kincaide painting in the blue twilight with the sparkling white snow covering the roofs of the quaint Victorian houses, with puffs of gray smoke rising from the red brick chimneys. After living there for almost two years, Star Pride felt like home.

SNOW DAY

The next morning, Sam was the first to wake up. He looked outside and saw a good eight inches of snow had fallen overnight; he also saw a large group of his neighbors standing in the street talking, holding papers in their hands. He went downstairs, grabbed his coat from the closet, and opened the front door, and what he saw taped to his door, made him livid. It was a flyer that said: "We Must Secure The Existence of Our Race And Future For White Children. Make America White Again." It listed the name of a white nationalist group and a link to their website. Sam ripped it off the door and marched into the street to join his neighbors.

"What the fuck is this shit doing on my door?" He said to them.

"Sam, that's what we'd like to know," his neighbor Charlie said, an older man with silver hair and bushy eyebrows, "We've never had anything like this happen before and I've lived here for over 20 years."

Mrs. Friedman, who lived down the street said: "It's disgusting. To wake up and find trash like this on your property."

Others nodded in agreement.

"I've called the police," Charlie said, "And they're looking into it."

Sam's next-door neighbor, Elias, an immigrant from Finland who was in his fifties said:

"How do we explain this to our children?" He was divorced with two daughters.

"My kids know the deal," Rick said, a widowed black man with two sons in college. "Nothing new under the sun."

"I'm angry as hell," Sam said, "What right do they have to poison our community. I won't stand for it."

"What if it's somebody in the community?" Charlie said, "We don't know the culprit. It could be one of our so-called good neighbors."

Then Sam's neighbor from across the street, named Lena said: "I'm not standing for it either. I was born and raised here and people generally get a long." She was a petite woman with bleached blonde hair. Her husband was in the Air Force.

"Would y'all like to come inside for coffee? I think it would be good for us to just talk about this," Sam said.

Everyone nodded and followed him inside. Sam was glad that Mercedes had gone to Costco the other day and gotten a full supply of coffee and hot chocolate. They went into the living room and Sam went upstairs to their bedroom and found Mercedes getting dressed.

"What's going on?" She said, "I hear all this commotion going on downstairs."

"It's an impromptu neighborhood meeting."

"About what?"

"This," he said, handing her the flyer.

Mercedes read the flyer and sat on the bed.

"I can't believe somebody thought this was ok to place this sick shit on our home."

Mercedes felt numb, and then anger boiled within her. How dare they reduce her family to something that shouldn't exist? How dare they deny her humanity? She thought of all the stories Aunt Josephine told her about marches, segregation, fighting for the right to merely exist. She thought of her beautiful children, born out of love, and wondered what foundation she needed to lay down to prevent this from happening again. This was her home. She was an American like everyone else.

I don't need your permission to exist.

Hot tears filled her eyes, and she ripped up the flyer until it was nothing but a pile of white confetti fluttering about the room.

Sam put his arms around her and held her close.

"I wish…" he began to say but could not finish his sentence, so he said, "I'm sorry."

Mercedes didn't ask him what he wished for or why he was sorry. She knew the answers. He wished he could slay this dragon and keep the pain and hurt from seeping into the walls of their home. He was sorry that he couldn't do it. For every dragon slayed, another was born. Mercedes cried in his arms, not a soft whimper, or silent tears, it was loud and painful and real.

She wasn't wonder woman.

She wasn't a warrior.

She wasn't a savior.

She wasn't a strong black woman.

None of the above.

She was hurt. She was wounded. She was a mother, wife, sister, teacher and friend. But above all, she was a human being who only wanted a prosperous life for herself and her family.

What did her skin have to do with it?

The irrational hatred of melanin amazed her.

"I have you," he whispered as she sobbed, holding her tight against his chest, "I love you."

Her tears flowed onto his flannel shirt, mixed with mucus and ugliness. She knew he didn't care, he would hold her forever if he had to. And that's what she needed. She cried until she couldn't anymore, and then she raised her head from his chest and saw Sam crying too. He kissed her.

"I'll carry this with you."

"I know."

"I'll always protect you and the kids."

"I never doubted even for a moment."

ooo

After everyone was served coffee, hot chocolate and sweet rolls, they discussed what should happen next.

"I thought this was a safe place," Mrs. Friedman said, sipping her hot chocolate, her blue eyes misty, "You hear about stuff like this but Star Pride was never like this."

"I know what you mean," Charlie said, biting into a sweet roll, "I came here because of the community."

"It could've been much worse," Mercedes said, "At least no one was hurt."

"No one was hurt yet," Rick said, "Who knows what will happen next? What if they recruit members? Things could get ugly."

"So what do we do now? I'm all for fighting back; I just need to know how." Lena said as she leaned forward in her chair, "My husband hates stuff like this too."

"We need for everyone to be involved," Sam said, "We should call the local paper so they know what's going on and run a story about it, making people aware."

"I know the editor for the Star Pride Chronicle," I'll give them a call," Elias said.

"I think a special church service is a good idea," Mercedes said, "And maybe a candlelight vigil."

"I'm not much of a church goer but I would be willing to go for this," Lena said.

"We could use a prayer now," Charlie said, "We need this stopped."

"I'm an atheist," Mrs. Friedman said, "however I would like to take part in any vigils or protests."

"Ok," Sam said, "We have a starting point. Why don't we meet back here next week to discuss our progress and next steps."

Everyone agreed to meet at Sam and Mercedes' house at the end of the week on Friday evening.

"And next time, we'll bring the sweet rolls," Rick said.

"Sounds good," Mercedes said.

Mrs. Friedman stood up and put on her coat.

"I must be going. Henry will be up soon."

"I'll walk you to the door," Sam said.

"Thank you."

As he opened the door for her, Mrs. Friedman said:

"Tell Abby happy belated birthday. Such a sweet girl."

"Thank you, I will. How did you know it was her birthday?"

"She told me last week during the bonfire festival. We chatted about birds. She likes that I know about them. Speranza is quite a peacock."

"She's temperamental. But we like her," Sam said, giving her a hug, "Thanks for coming and I'll see you Friday."

"Good-bye."

She carefully walked down the icy steps and continued her journey home. Sam closed the door and went back to the living room. Lena had her arm around Mercedes, who was wiping tears from her eyes.

"It's ok," she whispered, "We're all here for you."

Sam sat next to Mercedes on the couch.

"Schätzchen?"

"Just having a moment," she said.

Sam hugged her.

"We'll get through this."

"I know. But this is a tired fight."

"Lord knows she's right," Rick said, setting his coffee mug on the table, "Those sons of bitches."

The living room was silent. Then Sam said:

"Everyone hold hands."

They held hands and Sam began to pray:

"Heavenly Father, guide us through this darkness that fell on us today. Show us how love can move us forward. We ask that you watch over us and our community; our children, wives, husbands, friends, families, and keep us safe from harm and drive away the poison that's trying to destroy our town. In Jesus' name we pray, Amen."

"Amen," Everyone said.

After their neighbors left, the kids woke up and they ate breakfast. The mood was somber compared to the usual morning chatter and commotion and Abby asked her parents what was wrong.

Sam told her about the flyer and she listened quietly until he was finished.

"What do we do now?"

"We're having a meeting on Friday," Sam said.

Abby poured syrup on her pancakes.

"Will they hurt us?"

"Not while I'm around."

"I want to go to the meeting."

"That's only for adults."

"Why? Kids are in the community too."

Sam looked at Mercedes.

"What do you think?"

"She has a point.

"Ok, you can come."

"Can some of my friends come too?"

"If their parents are ok with it."

"You know Sam, maybe their parents would like to come as well," Mercedes said, patting his arm, "The bigger the alliance the better the fight."

"We better make a few more runs to Costco, this will be a full house," Sam said as he took a sip of his orange juice.

"Are we going back in time?" Abby said.

"What do you mean?" Sam said.

"In history we learned about civil rights and Martin Luther King. Are we still fighting for the same thing?"

"Yes, sugarplum. Things are better. Much better… but we're not there yet."

"Do you think we'll ever get there?"

"I don't know."

Mercedes lifted Rosy and Jake out of their high chairs and said:

"Well, I'm not going to let some racist bastards ruin a perfectly beautiful Sunday. Let's go outside and make a snowman."

Sam was surprised at the suggestion. He wasn't sure if it was wise to be out in the yard after what happened but then again, they couldn't stay in the house forever. He kissed Mercedes.

"Let's go make a snowman."

ooo

Once everyone was bundled up in their coats, hats, and scarves and the twins had on their bright red and blue snowsuits; they ventured outside into cold winter afternoon and built a snowman together. Elias with his daughters, Ansa and Leena, aged 8 and 6, dressed in fuchsia and pink parkas came outside to join them, and soon it appeared the entire neighborhood decided to salvage the day and play in the snow; building forts and snowmen, having snowball fights and enjoying each other's company. Despite the ugliness of the morning, they came together as a community. Mercedes took pictures of the activities; and felt her faith rising within her.

"You know what this is like Mommy?" Abby said as she twisted a carrot into the center of the snowman's face.

"What?"

"It's like the Grinch Who Stole Christmas, after the Whos woke up on Christmas morning and all their toys and food were gone and they still sang because they were happy."

"So we're in Whoville?"

"I guess we are."

The snowman wasn't exactly perfect but Mercedes felt his uneven center and lopsided grin gave him a certain charm. Jake and Rosy tried to hug him.

"Too big," Jake said.

They found an old Orioles cap and put it on his head. They couldn't find another scarf so they wrapped a purple feather boa around his neck; it was a leftover prop from Mercedes' Diana Ross costume. Sam named him Victor.

"Why Victor?" Mercedes asked, pulling him down for a kiss.

"Why not?"

Mercedes took more pictures as Leena, Ansa, Elias, Abby and Sam built a fort with Rosy and Jake toddling about and laughing in the snow.

When they were finished, Ansa tugged on Elias's arm and said:

"Isä, what shall we call it?"

Elias stood there for a moment. His cheeks red from the cold, a thatch of his blond hair peeked out from under his blue knit cap, biting his lip, he said:

"Toivoa."

"What's that mean?" Sam asked.

"It means hope."

THE NEXT DAY

On Monday morning, it was a different story. According to the morning news, slogans spouting white supremacist ideologies were found spray painted on the elementary and high schools, and community college. Hate messages were painted on the sidewalk in front of the supermarket, and an arson attempt was made on the local temple but the fire was put out before much damage could be done.

Sam and Mercedes took Jake and Rosy to the pediatrician for their yearly check-up, and as they left the doctor's office, much to their shock and anger, a white nationalist demonstration was taking place. A group of men with close cut hair stood in the town square, handing out pamphlets and asking passerby if they'd had enough of their country being ruined.

As a precaution, before they left the house that morning, Sam took his gun out of the safe and put on his leather gun holster and placed the gun inside. He wasn't taking any chances with everything going on; and these groups were usually violent. Mercedes watched him and said nothing. Now as they walked to their car after the appointment, the group leader screamed about white purity, and he spotted Sam and Mercedes with Jake and Rosy.

"Race traitor!"

Sam handed Rosy to Mercedes, opened the door to the pharmacy on their left and pushed her and the kids inside for safety. He turned around and faced the leader a few feet away, who stood on a stack of milk crates, clutching a megaphone, and he moved his hand in such a way that the leader could see he had a gun, the leader's eyes widened in surprise and he looked fearful. It was the response Sam desired; he wanted that piece of shit to feel fear, the same fear he was trying to put into this otherwise united community. Sam's anger boiled within him as he stared at the son of a bitch; it wasn't a warning or threat, he would shoot the motherfucker if he even thought about hurting his wife and children. Sam nodded, patted the gun. His eyes never strayed from the leader's washed out, pale face and red-rimmed eyes.

A moment later the cops showed up, because apparently this racist group had not obtained a permit to have a demonstration in the town square. The cops demanded that they cease the spectacle immediately. Sam watched the police interrogate them, a few of them got mouthy, and they were handcuffed. After everything died down, he went inside the pharmacy where Mercedes, Rosy, and Jake sat at an old-fashioned lunch counter. Jake and Rosy were eating pudding cups, oblivious to the potential danger outside, and Mercedes had tears in her eyes when she saw him.

He hugged her.

"We can go now."

The rainbow haired cashier looked at them and said.

"I hope they lock those cretins up."

"Take us home," Mercedes whispered as Sam held her.

They picked up the kids and went to the car, quickly buckling them into their car seats and drove straight home. Once they were inside the house, the twins were cranky, so they gave them lunch and put them down for their nap. While they slept, he and Mercedes held each other for a long time not saying anything, until Mercedes said:

"This must stop."

Sam understood and held on tighter. He knew things could've been worse and was grateful they weren't. This was only Monday.

ooo

During the week, Mercedes noticed Sam stayed home more often and when he was gone he called her every hour to check in. He installed security cameras that Cooper sent after he heard about what happened. He and LaTonya enjoyed married life and her pregnancy - especially watching the expansion of her belly everyday. The only problem they faced was the deteriorating health of LaTonya's father; and sometimes LaTonya called Mercedes for "girl talk" and a shoulder to cry on about his condition. Mercedes often prayed with her on the phone and encouraged her as much as she could.

The neighbors stopped by more often, and Mercedes wondered if Sam asked them to, but she didn't mind the company; and if he did put them up to it, she appreciated how much he loved her and their kids. On Thursday afternoon Sam came home for lunch rather subdued and silent. As they ate leftover tuna casserole in the kitchen, while the twins were upstairs for their afternoon nap, Mercedes tried to talk to him about his day, but his answers were short. Finally, she said:

"Sam, what's wrong?"

"I was debating on telling you this, but – "

"Tell me what?"

He sighed.

"You know the historic Underground Railroad house, I'm restoring?"

"Yes."

"I found a noose hanging on the doorknob."

Mercedes dropped her fork and grabbed his hand.

"Sam I – "

"I shouldn't have told you," Sam said, squeezing her hand, "I don't want to upset you more."

"I'm glad you told me. Have you called the police?"

"Yes and I filed a report."

"They probably targeted the house because of the article about it in the paper," Mercedes said.

He pulled her close to him, hugging her.

"Probably."

"I don't know what to say."

"Come here," Sam said, patting his lap.

She got up and sat on his lap and his strong arms encircled her thick waist; she laid her head on his shoulder and he stroked her kinky hair.

"I'm worried about you."

"I can't believe any of this stuff is happening, but I'm doing ok. My sessions with Santana help."

He kissed her cheek.

"You can always come to me. I love you and I won't let you suffer alone."

"Says the man who wasn't going to tell me about the noose."

"I didn't want to burden you."

"I decide what's a burden," she said.

"Point taken. I'm also worried about Abby. The twins are too young to know what's going on."

"She'll open up when she's ready. And thankfully, no signs of her sleep disorder have come back."

"I know, but I'm worried anyway," he was quiet for a moment as his fingers dug into her springy coils, massaging her scalp, "You know when I found that noose, I was so fucking angry, just like I was when that asshole yelled at us and I found the flyer on our door."

Mercedes felt a slight tremor in his body, as the anger rose within him again.

"But no matter what," Sam said, "That house will stand."

ooo

The Friday night meeting had a huge turnout. Mercedes figured that half of Star Pride was packed into their living and dining rooms. She was glad that she and Sam had the foresight to put the twins to bed early. Word got out about the meeting so other concerned neighbors came too. People brought food, and the meeting became a potluck dinner. Mrs. Friedman cooked huge pot of goulash, thick and rich with chunks of beef and potatoes in a flavorful broth seasoned with sweet Hungarian paprika, and baked three golden loaves of homemade bread; Travis' parents, Ben and Rosalie, baked a couple of apple pies and made a huge meatloaf covered with smoky barbecue sauce; and Melanie's father Joseph, brought grilled salmon filets with lemon and parsley and a big tossed salad; Elias cooked a traditional dish from Finland called Lihapullat muusilla ja puolukkahillolla which were meatballs with mashed potatoes and lingonberry jam.

Since all the attendees brought a dish, they had a large assortment of food and drinks; and after everyone had eaten, the meeting began. They sat in a circle in the living room using extra chairs from the kitchen and dining room. The Star Pride Chronicle ran a story about the racist incidents and noted that this white nationalist group was popping up in other areas.

"I want them out of our town," Rosalie said, "We thought this was a good place to raise Travis, and now these shitheads want to take over."

"They'll hide behind freedom of speech," Rick said, "And the police will protect them."

"Freedom of speech isn't freedom of consequences," Joseph said, "I've had more than enough of that defense."

Mercedes leaned against Sam, who sat next to her on the loveseat, holding her hand.

"Well, we've called the police and newspaper, and now I think we should have some sort of event at the community center. I did some research and we could put on a show and have a candlelight vigil afterwards."

"What kind of show?," Ben said, taking a sip of his coffee, "Trust me I have no talent."

A few people laughed. Mercedes smiled.

"I guess show isn't the right word. People can get on stage and tell how they overcame racism. So we can tell our stories. Or recite poems. Or sing songs. Just express ourselves and come together."

Travis, who was beside Abby in front of the fireplace said:

"Can kids do stuff too?"

"Of course."

"I want to do it."

"Ok, Anyone else?"

Most everyone in the room raised their hand.

"I have a poem in mind," Mrs. Friedman said, "Put me down for the program."

"Sure thing," Mercedes said.

Elias raised his hand.

"I would like to have a prayer meeting beforehand at the church, when Sam prayed last week, it gave us strength."

"It sure did," Lena said from the kitchen doorway, "I felt better after hearing it."

"I'm sure we can arrange it," Mercedes said, "The community church said it wanted to be involved with any event we put together."

The meeting adjourned with plans to meet again to discuss logistics of the event. People lingered afterwards, eating the last bit of food and drinking coffee. When most of the attendees were gone, Abby, Melanie, Travis, and their parents helped clean up. Elias also stayed behind to lend a hand. Mercedes sensed he didn't want to go home because the girls were with their mother that weekend. He helped her load the dishwasher while Sam swept the floor.

"We've made progress," Elias said as he put a plate into the bottom rack, "Thank you again for hosting this."

"I'm glad everyone came together."

"Me too."

They finished loading the dishwasher and sat down to the table. Sam made another pot of coffee and poured them all a cup.

"I'm sorry your girls couldn't come," Sam said.

Elias waved his hand.

"Ah, se on elämää," he murmured.

"Huh?"

"Sorry, I just said that's life."

"No problem, my grandfather used to lapse into German all the time."

Elias patted his shoulder.

"We have something in common, except for me it's Finnish," he paused gathering his thoughts, "After what's happened in this town, I remember an incident from my youth that changed me forever."

"What happened?"

"When I was about twelve years old, my family went to South Africa because my father had business there. Early one morning, I woke up and heard a commotion downstairs, like banging, and I left of my hotel room, and went downstairs to see what it was; I wandered down the hallway and the parlor door was slightly ajar, I peeked inside and I saw my father's business partners, holding down a black woman on the velvet couch and raping her. She couldn't fight back, couldn't escape, couldn't do anything, they were laughing and saying horrible racist things to her; She was gagged with one of their ties, so she couldn't scream. She wasn't human to them. They raped her because they could. That was pure hatred. I'll never forget it. I yelled at them to stop but they told me to mind my business and go back to my room. I told my father and he turned a blind eye. He said I should put such things out of my mind; that was how the world worked and it was her place. And I thought, what place was that? My mother gave me warm milk and said I should think pleasant thoughts. I saw other things too while I was there, less severe, but disturbing none the less, when I researched apartheid I learned that they studied the U.S. to create such a system."

"That's disgusting," Sam said.

"It's sick," Mercedes said as Sam wrapped his arm around her, kissing her temple and comforting her.

Elias nodded.

"It was beyond sick. Now I find hatred at my door, and I can only remember that woman. They found her body in a river a few days later. I may not understand feeling this kind of pain, but I know evil like this should be stopped. I hated my parents for their apathy and coldness; and I vowed to be the opposite. I won't turn away. I'll fight with you."

"Hatred is everywhere," Mercedes said, "Not just at our doors."

"You're right," Elias said, "But somehow I thought I was in a bubble, escaping it."

"Star Pride felt like our home," Mercedes said, "I saw us growing old here."

"It is our home and our country. Nobody can take that from us," Sam said, "I love you and our children more than anything, and I'll fight until my last breath to protect you. We'll get through this. Our community isn't standing for it."

Just then Rosalie, Ben and Joseph came into the kitchen with Travis, Abby, and Melanie following them.

"The living room is all cleaned up," Ben said, putting a bag of trash in the garbage can near the doorway, "Thanks again for having us." Ben looked as wild and unshaven as ever, with his curly blond hair sticking up in all directions.

Rosalie leaned down and gave each of them hugs.

"We'll call you next week," she said.

Joseph hugged them too, "Thank you for putting all of this together," he said, "It hasn't been easy for us and when we moved here… he stopped speaking and looked over at Melanie, who's eyes shined with tears, "Anyway, have a good night."

Abby hugged Melanie and Travis good-bye and then everyone left.

"It's time for you to go to bed," Sam said to Abby, who sat down next to him at the table.

"I know," she said, scooting her chair closer so she could rest her head on his shoulder, "I liked the meeting."

"Did it make you feel any better?"

"It did, but you know what makes me feel best?"

"What's that?"

"When you and Mommy check on me, when you think I'm asleep."

"So you only pretend to be asleep," Sam said and tickled her belly and she laughed.

"Yes," she said, calming down once Sam stopped tickling her and her voice became serious as she gazed at her parents, "And you and Mommy say how much you love me and how God watches over me and I feel safe."

Sam and Mercedes gathered her in their arms.

"We love you so much. No matter what happens, we'll keep you and Jake and Rosy safe from harm," Sam said.

"I know you will, Papa," Abby said, "But this stuff scares me. Travis says he doesn't understand it and neither do I."

"You talk to me and your Papa, if you're ever scared. Don't ever carry your fear alone, ok?" Mercedes said, kissing her forehead.

"I will. I'm not scared all the time. But then I see things on the news and I worry."

"It's unsettling," Mercedes admitted, "But we can't let this stop us from living our lives because that's what they want."

"And remember everyone who doesn't want hate in our town. And it's not only me and your mother looking out for you, it's all of our family and friends," Sam said.

"Mrs. Friedman keeps an eye on me at the park."

"She does?"

"She pretends like she's there to watch the birds, but she always leaves when I do. And Lena has been on her front porch more when all us kids are riding our bikes. And Rick tells us not to go past the cul de sac."

"See that's what I'm talking about. Everyone is on alert."

"Cooper checks in with me everyday too."

"That doesn't surprise me and I'm glad to hear it."

Mercedes glanced at the microwave clock.

"It's almost 11:30. You need to be in bed."

Sam yawned.

"She's right and I'm beat too."

He checked the alarm system and all the doors, and then followed Mercedes and Abby upstairs.

NO PLACE FOR HATE

They held the event at the Star Pride Community Center on Maple Street in the heart of downtown. After much debate, they called the program "No Place For Hate" and many concerned citizens attended on a frigid Saturday evening. They had a prayer meeting beforehand at the First Community Church and then the actual program began at 7:00 at the community center.

Sam read aloud a letter he wrote to the leader of the white nationalist group; he had no intentions of mailing it, he said, it was more cathartic than anything else. On the screen behind him was a picture of Sam, Mercedes, Abby, Rosy, and Jake the day after the snowstorm, standing in their front yard beside Victor the snowman; the snow glittered in the brilliant white sunshine; everyone wore huge smiles and their arms were wrapped around each other.

"To you I'm a race traitor because my beautiful wife is black, and my family is a palette of hues. When I warned you of the line you crossed, no holds barred, only two men at a stand-off; the fear you wanted to put in our hearts came into your eyes when you realized my response was not a threat but a promise I would keep. Remember the fear you felt as I stared into your eyes; remember it when you believe you can conquer this town. You will not tear down my wonderful family; I begin and end with them, and no amount of intimidation, fear or hatred could ever stop me from fighting. My anger is passion. My retaliation is relentless. Star Pride and I will rise up against you."

When he finished, everyone clapped loudly, and Mercedes had never been more proud. Travis went up onstage next; he held a violin.

"I'm not good with poems or speeches, but I composed this and I'd like to play it. I wrote it because I don't like what that group did; yelling mean stuff and scaring people; and everybody was getting along before. It's called Abby."

Then he began to play a soulful, delicate melody that was painful and hopeful all at once. Mercedes had never heard a composition quite like it; and to come from an 11-year-old kid, it amazed her, and the applause was loud and enthusiastic when he was finished.

Abby was next. She wore the emerald locket and Tiffany charm bracelet Sam gave her; she unfolded a piece of notebook paper and began to read.

"Thank you Mommy and Papa, for checking on me in the middle of the night and praying with me. Thank you Mrs. Friedman for staying with me in the park and walking me home. Thank you Lena and Rick for making sure we don't go too far on our bike rides. Thank you Cooper and LaTonya for sending me texts. Thank you Travis for being my friend and not laughing when I cried during recess. Thank you Melanie, for talking to me and listening. And thank you to everyone in our neighborhood who check on us and check on each other. I believe this makes us strong. When I see how everybody cares, I know they can't win. Thank you!"

Mercedes was beside herself with joy; she couldn't believe how wonderful the evening was so far and how proud she was of Abby and Sam. Even little Rosy and Jake, clapped and cheered, though not fully understanding why their father and sister were talking on a stage, it made them happy.

The other performances were engaging as well, and Mercedes was glad they were all able to come together. She knew this wasn't the end by any means, but at least it was a starting point for something better, building this community alliance gave them strength.

END NOTES: Thank you for reading my story! The content on the racist flyers came from flyers found on a college campus (I think it was PA?). This also happened in my small rural town that I grew up in (about two months ago). The No Place For Hate event is the name of an actual anti-racism campaign. The reference to apartheid and South Africa (on how South Africa created the system (by studying racism in other countries like the US)came from Trevor Noah when he discussed his autobiography Born A Crime.

#Samcedes fanfiction #Samcedes #sam evans and mercedes jones

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imagine-the-fanfics · 7 years

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Everything Stays

A/N: I was listening to this song when I was getting ready for the day and I got the BIGGEST urge to write this. I couldn’t think who to write it about, but shout out to @kenobislittlepadawan for suggesting the wonderful Obi-Wan! I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it! It’s a college AU. (I’m really feeling AUs right now.) The flashbacks are italicized, since they’re flashbacks. Just wanted to make that clear! This one is long, so I put it under a “read more” to keep your feeds clean!

The coffee shop on campus was a usual hangout for more than just the artsy student. It was a safe place for everyone. Tonight the open mic night had it to standing room only. This wasn’t an uncommon sight, but it was unusual for open mic nights. Everyone clapped and snapped their fingers as the person before you stepped down from the stage.

Now it was your turn.

You grabbed your acoustic guitar that was leaning against your chair and you made your way onto the stage, moving the stool closer to the mic.

“Can everyone here this okay?” You asked, strumming a few random notes. Some people gave you a thumbs up and you looked around the room. “There’s quite a crowd tonight. Let’s take a second to thank Common Grounds for hosting this event, and everything the do to make campus life interesting.” There were snaps and claps for a brief moment and you took a deep breath. “I’ve only got one song tonight, and it’s a cover. I’m not sure how many of you are fans of the show Adventure Time?” You listened to the brief snaps and then someone shouted something about the theme song. “No, It’s not the theme song. I can do that really quick though, I don’t think the people in charge will mind me wasting an extra 30 seconds.”

You played the opening fanfare and then smacked your guitar for the fist bump.

“Adventure Time~ Come on grab your friends; we’ll go to very distant lands with Jake the Dog and Finn the Human. The fun will never end~ It’s Adventure Time~!” You grinned as the crowd sang with you. “You guys are amazing. I’m loving the energy.” You adjusted the microphone slightly. “There we go, that’s better.” You muttered.

“Okay. So. This song is sung by my favorite vampire queen during one her arcs. It’s called ‘Everything Stays’ and it’s my favorite from the show.” You looked into the crowd, a smile formed as you noticed your old friend Obi-Wan Kenobi drinking a cup of something. “ I want to dedicate this to an old friend of mine that I haven’t talked to since high school. He’s here tonight, and I’m hoping he’ll realize this is for him. I miss you.” You leaned back and took a deep breath, letting the song wash over you.

“Let’s go in the garden; you’ll find something waiting”

It was summer time. A cool breeze shaking the leaves of the tree you had climbed. You took a bite out of an apple you had picked on your way up, looking out over your backyard. It was a standard sized yard for the town you lived in, nothing too grandiose like the doctors in the area, but more yard than the kids in the subsidized housing had. You smiled lightly, thankful for what you had. Even as a child you were a thankful person. You had your moments, obviously, but still.

“Y/n!” A familiar voice called up to you. You glanced down and grinned.

“Obi!” You called, taking another bite. “One sec! Let me climb down!” With that you disappeared into the tree, climbing your way down, jumping from the lowest branch and landing with a soft thumb. “It’s so nice to see you!”

“Yeah! How has your vacation been so far?” He asked before the memory started to fade.

“You’ll find something waiting”

You held your best friend as his sobs shook his body. You were both in junior high school now. Starting to blossom into the adults you would eventually become. Thank the maker for puberty. Always a storm.

Which did not make the loss of a beloved animal any easier.

You rubbed his back, tears falling from your eyes as you looked down at the dog that had just been put to sleep. You whispered words of kindness in his ear to try and ease the pain he was experiencing. “I’m so sorry.” You muttered.

“Right there where you left it, lying upside down.”

Suddenly you were at a playground, sitting on a landing connected to the monkey bars that your friend was playing on.

“I don’t understand the homework.” You grumbled, looking up from your textbook to see your friend hanging upside down. “Math is dumb. I hate school.”

“This is where you remind me that we’re lucky to be able to go to school.” Obi grinned. “Feels good to say it to you.”

“Hush your mouth!” You snapped. “Can you help me?” Your gaze returned to your textbook and you heard a thud as your friend hit the ground.

“Yeah! It’s easy stuff.” He sat next to you. He leaned over and started explaining the concept, pointing at the book to help show what he was referring to.

“When you finally find it.”

High school sucked. Especially when you couldn’t find your shirt when you were already late.

“Do you need help?” Obi-Wan asked from the doorway of your room, watching you sort through clothes on the floor and on various surfaces.

“No. I’ll find it. You should probably get going, though. Don’t want you to be late, too.” You moved to your closet. “Dammit!” You grumbled, running and hand through your hair.

“I’m fine.” He came in and sat on your bed, leaning against the wall. “Besides, the view is worth it.” He grinned.

“Pervert.” You threw the shirt in your hand at him, smirking before turning back to a pile of clothes sitting on your chair. “FOUND IT!!” You shouted, pulling it from the pile and pulling it on over your head.

“You’ll see how it’s faded.”

A few different scenes flashed through your head.

“Want to come over after school, Y/n?” Obi leaned against the lockers next to yours, watching you with a careful eye.

“I can’t. I’m going to the movies with the S.O. tonight.” You replied, barely thinking about it while you shoved the items you needed into your backpack. “That and I’ve got a killer homework load tonight.”

“It’s all good!” Obi-Wan replied, raising his fist for a fist bump. You didn’t notice for a moment, but then touched your fist to his. You shrugged your backpack onto your shoulder.

“Catch ya later!” You walked backwards away from him, giving a light wave before turning around.

Another time was when you were sitting on your front porch, watching traffic when you saw Obi-Wan riding his bike.

“Obi-Wan!” You called, waving.

He gave you a smile and continued to ride. This caught you by surprise, because normally he would at least stop and say hi instead of just cruising by. You dismissed it as him being in a rush, but later it was confirmed that wasn’t the case.

Incidences like these, evidence of your fading friendship, became so frequent in high school and should have been red flags, but that wasn’t the case. By senior year you rarely spent time together outside of class, let alone after school or on the weekends.

At one point you had been inseparable, but that was no longer the case ever since freshman year of high school.

“The underside is lighter when you turn it around.”

You were devastated by the loss of your beloved grandmother, and the funeral had been especially difficult for you. You sat outside on your front porch, in a basic black dress and a blue hoodie, crying.

“Everything okay?” A voice asked. You looked up and saw it was Obi-Wan. His bike was parked at the end of your driveway and he was starting to sit next to you.

“No. Grandmother died.” You said plainly, wiping the tears off your face with the sleeves of your hoodie.

“Oh.” An uncomfortable silence filled the air for what seemed like hours. “I’m sorry.”

“It would have been nice to have had a friend.” You stood up. “I’m going inside.”

“Oh. Okay.” Obi-Wan’s feelings were obviously hurt, but he didn’t want to upset you further. “I’ll see you around, okay? Don’t be a stranger.”

“Right back at you.” You let the door slam behind you.

“Everything stays right where you left it.”

Homecoming was here, and you had been nominated to Homecoming Court. This surprised you because you weren’t very popular at the school, and part of you wondered if they were going to pull a Carrie on you and pour red liquid all over you. You shook the image out of your head.

You stood in the middle of the gymnasium floor, waiting for the announcement of the king and queen with a passive interest.

They called your name.

You snapped your head to the Principal and gave him a puzzled look. He made a soft gesture to come over and you did.

“And your homecoming king… Obi-Wan Kenobi!”

You froze.

The crowning went s it normally would, and you smiled and thanked everyone as appropriate. You even gave Obi-Wan a celebratory hug, and, for a moment at least, everything felt like it had when you were kids and he was your best friend.

“Everything stays, but it still changes.”

As per your schools traditions, there was a king and queen slow dance. You were nervous, but excited about being able to talk to Obi-Wan again. The two of you met on the dance floor. Your hand went on his shoulder, and his on your waist, while your other hands found each other. Your bodies started to move to the music and smiled.

“Hello, again.” He greeted.

“Hello.” You continued to dance together. “I’ve missed you.”

“Well that’s sweet of you.” He teased, sending you out for a spin before pulling you closer to him again.

“Do you remember when we were kids? We used to be so close.” A frown crossed his lips as you spoke. “Why don’t we go back to that?” The song ended.

“Things… Things are different.” He admitted with a sigh.

“Not that different. We could be that close again if we tried. Don’t tell me you wouldn’t like that.” He didn’t respond, but his hand left yours and fell off your hip. “Let’s try.”

“I can’t, Y/n.” His reply was soft, almost like he was ashamed. A silence fell over you, the music’s pounding bass felt like the only thing keeping your heart going.

“Why?” You asked.

“Like I said, things are different. You’re different. I’m… Different.” Shock set in.

“Have we changed that much? I thought we were still…” You paused. “Can we try, at least?” Obi-Wan shook his head.

“Ever so slightly”

Graduation. Finally. The last four years felt like an eternity, but they were finally over.

-*-

“Daily and nightly”

Graduation brings celebrations, and you were at a party held by the school at the local bowling alley. There was music pulsing, the sound of bowling balls crashing against pins and sending them flying. You looked around and basked in the joyous atmosphere of the celebration.

“In little ways”

That was when you saw him sitting at the bar, drinking what you assumed was a coke or some other sort of pop. You walked over and sat next to him, bumping him with your shoulder lightly. He smiled at you and returned the bump. The two of you sat in silence for a while before you leaned your head on his shoulder. He let out a soft sigh and rested his cheek against your head.

“When everything stays.” The final notes hung in the air as people snapped and clapped. Obi-Wan was watching you with a puzzled look. “Thank you very much, everyone. Hope you have a great night.” You got off the stool and went back to your chair.

“Still like apple cider?” Obi-Wan asked, handing you a cup, steam wisping from the drinking hole in the lid. You gave a nod and he sat across from you, setting the cup on the little table between your chairs.

You smiled lightly and the two of you began to chat and reminisce.

#obi-wan kenobi #obi-wan #obi-wan fanfiction #obi-wan one shot #star wars #star wars fanfic

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protectthecoven · 7 years

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About Me

For some reason I wanted to just make a post were I just huge ‘ask/about me’ but where I just come up with my own stuff. So here is 50 things about me. If you guys do something similar (doesn’t have to be long), I would love to learn more about you and let me know if you do one. And remember that asks are always open for me!

This list has no set structure, I basically just typed what came first in my head

And yes this long and I really didn’t feel like doing a read more line so sorry bruvs

1. Name: Cody V.J Foss

2. Birthday: May 8th

3. Age: 21

4. From: Michigan

5. School: Central Michigan University

6. Studying: Information Technology and Psychology

7. Dream Job: To work in tech support for a company and be a therapist

8. Siblings: I am a quadruplet; 2 brothers (Zeb and Seth) and 1 sister (Alexis)

9. Sexuality: I am what you call a Bisexual

10. Relationship: No

11. Likes (General): reading, writing, playing video games, listening to music

12. Dislikes (General): Being in the sun, socializing with strangers, eating healthy

13. Favorite Books: The Help, The Grisha Trilogy, The Six of Crows Duology, The Hunger Games, The Reckoners series, The Night Circus

14. Favorite TV Shows: Teen Wolf, Bob’s Burgers, Shadowhunters, American Dad, How to Get Away With Murder, The Legend of Korra, Courage the Cowardly Dog, American Horror Story, The Originals, Skam

15. Favorite Movies: The Avengers: Age of Ultron, Cap. America: Civil War, Fantastic Beast and Where to Find Them, The Help, The Hunger Games series

16. Favorite Video Games: Pokemon, Horizon Zero Dawn, Assassin’s Creed series, Tomb Raider, Animal Crossing

17. Favorite Season: Fall and Spring is the close second

18. Favorite Beverage: Mtn. Dew, alcohol, Coke

19. Favorite Celebrities: Cody Christian, Taron Egerton, Daniel Sharman, Sophie Cookson, Sophie Turner, Elizabeth Olsen, Viola Davis, Octavia Spencer, Josh Hutcherson

20. Favorite Food: Mashed Potatoes, Pizza, Hamburgers, Zebra Cakes, Pringles, Meatballs, Tacos, Chicken Nuggets

21. Favorite Color: Black, Blue, Red, or Purple

22. Favorite Singer/Band: Carrie Underwood, Niall Horan, Liam Payne, Zedd, Dua Lipa, Imagine Dragons, 5 Seconds of Summer, Lady Gaga, Jake Miller, Stevie Nicks, Fleetwood Mac, Shawn Mendes, SoMo, Kesha, Thomas Rhett

23. Favorite Fictional Characters: Theo Raeken, Freya Mikaelson, Kol Mikaelson, Lydia Martin, Davina Claire, Jacob Frye, Evie Frye, Louise Belcher, Linda Belcher, Bob Belcher, Roger the Alien (i.e. Smith), Aloy, Morigesh (Paragon), Kaz Brekker, Nina Zenik, Matthias Helvar, Peeta Mellark

24. Favorite Pokemon: Eevee, Audino, Roserade

25. Favorite Childhood Memory: Getting lost in a corn maze or catching my first fish and being deathly afraid of it.

26. Fears: Silence, Being alone in the dark, the Unknown, most social situations

27. Memory I try to forget: The night I came out to my parents as bi and having to listen to my dad say he personally doesn’t accept that (non-straight) lifestyle

28. Death: I want to die in my sleep or a method that is nearly painless or instant

29. Religion: I followed the Christian Faith until I was 16 then became Agnostic

30. Afterlife: I believe in a dual after life: if you lived a life where you were a good person, selfless, morally ok, or can find peace in your death; then you will experience an afterlife where you are reunited with loved ones and are happy. The other option is for those who live the opposite styles of life (greedy, judgmental, or can’t find peace in their death, ect.) them they will experience their own personal Hell where their worst fears come to life but they have the chance to find peace and move onto the other afterlife. (message me for a further explanation or clarification)

31. Aesthetic: Dark rooms lit by candles, forests, dusk (time of day), cities, dark/black clothing, ruins, skyscrapers, dawn sunrise on the lake/ocean, open plain covered in fog, leather bound books on an old desk near a window

32. Dream House: I always wanted a studio apartment or an apartment in a tall building. A cozy little house on a lake or open field is also an option

33. Dream Closet: I want tons of black clothing that range from shirts to jackets, SnapBacks, dark jeans, converse, stylish boots, scarves, beanies, and also a rainbow of other clothing to show people I don't just wear black.

34. Dream Car: Black Jeep and Truck (I don’t know many vehicles)

35. Dream Male: Cody Christian is the definition of my dream guy... so just look at his appearance and personality and you basically have my type of guy

36. Dream Female: This is a bit harder since it more about personality for me with girls than looks but I would have to say the combination of Elizabeth Olsen, Sophie Turner, and Rose Leslie, and place all that in the height of Sophie Cookson and you got the idea. Also put Sophie C in that mix too.

37. Children: I want kids even though my family thinks I shouldn’t have kids because I am ‘bad’ with other people’s kids. I would want at no more than 3 or 4 kids

38. Ideal Boy Names: (The first born son’s middle name will be V.J like mine as it is family tradition for the first born son to carry that middle name), Viktor, Kai, Harshaw, Finn/Finnick, Dylan, Nate, Maddux

39. Ideal Girl Names: Elise, Evie, Freya, Ariane, Alexis, Olivia, Nora, Mara

40. Ideal Superpower: Telekinetic and Telepathic abilities and their variants

41. Ideal Supernatural/Mythical creature to be: Witch, Shapeshifter, Phoenix

42. Ideal Vacation: To travel the world with my squads

43. Ideal Concert: Dua Lipa, Niall Horan, Shawn Mendes, Carrie Underwood, Kesha, and Steve Nicks

45. Ideal Lazy Day: Chilling around the house with my dog, playing Pokemon, and eating junk food with Netflix in the background

46. Goals in life: Have a stable job, have good romantic and social lives, to be happy

47. Best Advice Received: ‘If you are happy with the who you are, then others will be too. Do what makes you happy because you will hate yourself if you don’t.’ - my mother

48. Advice I’d Like to Give Others: ‘Live your life by your own will and not because you feel obligated to live it a certain way, you’ll see life is a hell of a lot better if you do.’

49. My Squad(s): The Shit Squad - Daria and Laura, The Unholy Trinity - Jacob and Nicole

50. My Absolute Favorite Word:................fuck

#personal #about me #this has been in my head for like a week

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firstade-universe · 7 years

Text

If You Asked...

This is a G!P fic. It’s not a smutty one though. In fact, it’s barely in there. I know some of you may not be into that, so I thought I’d give ya’ll the heads up.

If you asked Clarke, she would tell you that she doesn’t remember the very first time she met Lexa. Not because the girl wasn’t memorable or anything like that, she most definitely was. It just seemed like Lexa was always there. Her first really clear memory of the brunette was in second grade. She was on the playground for recess and Lexa was on the swing, keeping to herself as she would for the years to come.

September 1997

Clarke was playing four square with Harper, Zoe and Monty as usual during recess. The four were locked in a heated battle, Harper refusing to let Clarke win for the billionth time in a row. Seriously, how was one kid so good at four square? They all whipped their heads around toward the swing set when they heard a sudden shout of pain. All the kids ran over to find Lexa Woods clutching her arm, but only Clarke noticed the more rambunctious boys from their class, Bellamy, John and Finn, snickering to each other.

The yard attendant ran over and helped Lexa to the office, as they passed Clarke noticed the unshed tears that threatened to run down the small brunette’s cheek. Clarke was immediately impressed that she wasn’t actually crying. Her glasses were askew and she held her injured arm tight to her chest.

“Harper.” Clarke whispered. “I think Bellamy and Finn pushed Lexa down.”

Harper looked between Clarke and the boys, who were still laughing. “Why would they do that? Lexa doesn’t bother anyone. She’s quiet and smart and when she does talk, she’s nice.”

Clarke shrugged. “I think they’re bullies. We should asked her to play with us, so they leave her alone.” Harper nodded, so did Zoe and Monty. “She lives down the street from me, I’ll try to talk to her later.”

When they got back to class, Mrs. Kane sent Clarke to the office with Lexa’s backpack. When she rounded the corner to the nurse’s office, she was saddened by the sight of Lexa sitting in the hall with her head down and tears still in her eyes, not falling. She still had her arm clutched to her chest.

“Kiddo, what are you doing in here?” Jake Griffin, school principal and proud father, quietly asked as he approached his daughter from behind.

“I brought Lexa her backpack. Can I sit with her until her parents come? She’s hurt and she looks so sad. Please Dad?”

Jake looked from his daughter to the injured girl. “Okay kiddo, back to class when her parents get here.”

“Yes, sir.” Clarke made her way over to the seat next to Lexa and sat down slowly. She didn’t speak for a while, just sat next to the girl. After about three minutes, she looked over to find Lexa wiping a tear from her cheek. She slid her and over the brunette’s uninjured one. “Is your arm okay?”

“Hurts.” Lexa was known for being a girl of few words. She was the kind that always knew the answers in class, but didn’t offer them freely. She had to be called on from the teacher even though her hand wasn't raised. Some of the kids were not so nice to her because they thought she was weird for that, but Clarke didn’t think she was weird. She knew the smaller brunette was just shy and the other kids were mean.

“Did Bellamy or Finn push you? I saw them laughing after you got hurt.” Lexa didn’t respond at first, but after a minute or so of Clarke looking at her, she nodded. “Tomorrow, you should hang out with me and my friends, so the mean boys leave you alone.”

Lexa chewed on her bottom lip as she tried to find the words to answer the blonde. “Thanks, but I like the swing.”

Clarke’s shoulders slumped a little. “Oh. Okay. Well, if you change your mind, you can hang out with us anytime.” Again, all she got was a nod. Then the front door of the office swung open and a concerned Dr. Emily Woods, one of Clarke’s mother’s coworkers, stepped in side.

“That’s my mom, gotta go. Bye, Clarke.” Lexa whispered as she picked up her backpack with her uninjured hand and quickly shuffled away.

The brunette’s arm was fractured, she came to school the next day with a bright green cast. The fact that it was broken and Lexa hadn’t really cried about it impressed Clarke. She told her dad that Bellamy and Finn pushed Lexa, and he called and told both of their parents. That only made them tease her worse, but they kept their hands to themselves from then on. They called her really clever names like “four-eyes” or “tattletale” or “nerd.” If you asked Lexa, it really didn't bother her that much back then.

Clarke continued to try to get Lexa to hang out with her and her small group of friends during recess, but the brunette always politely declined. She did, however, manage to get her to sit with them at lunch time. She usually sat quietly across from Clarke, only sometimes interacting with Harper and Monty. Lexa did not like Wells, and Zoe moved away.

In the third grade, Clarke really started to get the hang of this whole school thing. She started paying attention more and daydreaming less. She made it her goal in life to score higher than Lexa on anything they had to turn in. She never did, though. It became a sort of playful rivalry between the two. Lexa always scoring one more point than her and then saying something like, “Oh, so close. Next time.” Clarke began to wonder if that next time would actually come. It truly was just an unspoken game between the two, and it lasted for years. Clarke was really the only person Lexa would speak to by choice outside of the lunch table at school, which got her teased even more. Through the years, she still sat with Clarke and her friends at lunch, but she was usually just reading quietly. However, she did mention that she was happy Wells moved in the middle of fourth grade. Harper laughed and Monty nodded with a smile.

In the sixth grade, Clarke had a birthday party and insisted Lexa come.

August 2001

“Clarke, kids, come on, it’s time for cake.” Abby called from the kitchen out to the pool area of their home. The Griffin’s lived in Santa Barbara, California and August was a perfect time for pool parties. It was only in the mid seventies, but the water was perfect. The kids who were in attendance all climbed out of the pool and toweled off before running inside the house. As Clarke stepped inside she was met by two additional guests, Lexa and her mother.

She smiled brightly at the latecomer. “Lexa! You came!”

“Hi, Clarke.”

“You’re just in time for cake, then we are going back in the pool. Did you bring a suit?”

“I, um.” Lexa looked to her mother who smiled softly and shook her head. “I can’t stay, but I wanted to bring you this.” She handed the birthday girl a small wrapped box. “I wrapped it myself. Hopefully it helps you actually beat my grade some day.” Lexa smiled softly and pushed her glasses up on her nose.

“Is it a miracle? How’d you get it to fit in a box?” Clarke joked. “Thank you, Lexa.”

“You’re welcome, Clarke.”

Lexa and her mother left after they ate some cake. Clarke saved her birthday present from Lexa until she was alone. It was a fancy calculator with a note from Lexa, thanking her for being her friend. If you asked Clarke, that’s the moment she knew Lexa was special to her. The girls in attendance at the party asked Clarke why Lexa was so shy, to which the blonde shrugged and said it didn’t matter. It really didn’t, Lexa being shy wasn’t hurting anyone. Lexa didn’t seem unhappy about it either, and she never seemed to let the comments of the bullies bother her. They still ate lunch together through the rest of elementary and middle school and sometimes, Clarke would convince Lexa to watch a movie at her house on the weekend. In these times when they were completely alone, Lexa would say or do the sweetest things. Clarke wasn’t sure if they were things reserved for just her, or if it was just Lexa’s natural way. If you asked Clarke, she would deny that she had a crush. She totally did though, a big one.

Many boys tried to get her attention, but Clarke had no time for them, not if she was going to somehow score higher than Lexa on something. At the end of eighth grade, Harper had her first big birthday party.

May 2004

“Okay, everyone sit down in a circle. We're going to play a game.” Bellamy announced and all the kids groaned. Harper hadn't invited him or Finn, but their parents were friends so alas, they were there. It was only the second time anyone had ever seen Lexa at a party. Having the kids who bullied her there made her very uncomfortable, and Clarke could tell.

“I think Lexa and I are going to pass on your games, Blake.” She shouted, with an annoyed tone.

He looked between them and furrowed his brow. “Come on Princess. Hang out with the cool kids for once. Stop babysitting the nerd.”

“Yeah, she's just a loser. A freak. Don't lower yourself down to that level.” Finn added.

Lexa stood calmly and walked out of the room. She didn't stop until she reached the front porch, but then she had no idea where to go, so she sat on the steps.

“Lexa! Wait!” Clarke ran out the door after her, then sat down next to her. “Hey. Don't listen to them, okay?”

“You should go back inside and have fun Clarke. My mom will be here soon to pick me up anyway. I don't get to stay over like the rest of the girls.”

“Oh. Well I'm not going to have fun knowing you're sad.” Clarke put her hand on Lexa’s knee. “Why can't you stay?”

Lexa looked at her slowly, chewing her lip like she did when she was thinking over something very complicated. “My mom said no, because she doesn't know Harper’s parents.”

“Oh.” The blonde thought for a second. “You're mom knows my parents, could you maybe stay over at my house?”

The brunette shrugged. “Probably. Why?”

“We could have our own sleepover. Harper said the boys are staying tonight too, but in the living room. I told her my dad wouldn't like that.”

If you asked Clarke, that first sleepover was the best ever. If you asked Lexa, well she was terrified of the first half, but slowly got more comfortable.

In ninth grade, their little group of friends took sex ed. Lexa and Clarke both confessed they thought girls were better than boys, though Clarke thought some boys were nice too. Neither of them thought it really made a difference.

It wasn’t until tenth grade that Clarke found out the main reason behind Lexa’s shyness.

April 2006

“Bellamy Blake, you stop showing off and pass that ball.” Coach Titus yelled as Bellamy moved the ball down the field. It was only PE class, but he was hell bent on impressing Clarke, who he had been hitting on since the beginning of freshman year. It was pathetic really, she had told him to shove off so many times that he should have been embarrassed. She even told him that the way he treated her friend made him the ugliest person she had ever met. His younger sister, Octavia, was in Clarke and Lexa’s circle of friends now too, and she even told him he was embarrassing himself. She also found out how he still tormented Lexa and told him if he didn't knock it off, she would tell their mother and Aurora Blake was not a woman to be trifled with.

The two girls had made a pact to make sure that one of them was with Lexa at all times to prevent Bellamy, Finn or John from messing with her. They were really the only three who still picked on Lexa after middle school. Both Finn and Bellamy had made it their life mission to score a date with Clarke, and the more times they saw Clarke laugh at something Lexa said or touch Lexa’s arm softly, the more they wouldn’t let up on the poor girl. Although Lexa never complained, and when asked about the guys messing with her, she would just shrug nonchalantly. Sometimes though, they would say just the right thing to chink Lexa’s armor, and only Clarke would notice the deep frown that would appear.

So it was during this exhilarating period of PE in which he was attempting his newest tactic, showing Clarke what a great athlete he was. He sprinted down the field with the ball, and squared up to the net. Lexa was at goalie, where she had actually earned her spot on the school’s co-ed team, so it was time for him to kill two birds with one stone. Embarrass Lexa, by scoring a goal on her and proving he was the superior athlete, and impress Clarke. He looked over his shoulder to make sure the blonde was watching before he made his move.

He crossed over in front of the net and then turned back toward the goal and he ran full speed then kicked the ball as straight as he could. Lexa, however, was able to stop it with the palms of her hands as she dove, but she was not able to pull it back in. It dropped back to the pitch about three yards from where she was scrambling back to her feet, Bellamy ran over as fast as he could and kicked the ball as hard as possible. Lexa stood to full height at that precise moment and the ball ricocheted off her midsection. She dropped to the ground with a yelp of pain. Bellamy kicked the ball into the net finally as Lexa rolled to her knees attempting to catch her breath. Clarke and Octavia ran over after watching the whole event. Bellamy was still celebrating and Lexa was still on the ground, which concerned Clarke immensely. She quickly made her way over to the brunette.

“Lexa? Hey, you okay? That looked like it hurt.”

“I’m - I’ll be okay, just need a second.” Lexa breathed out hard and waved her off, but it didn’t stop the concern Clarke felt. She went over to Coach Titus and voiced that concern, then ran back over to Lexa’s side.

“Come on Woods, it couldn’t have hurt that bad, you big baby.” Bellamy taunted as he stood back and watched as Lexa slowly made her way to her feet.

“Shut it, Bell.” Octavia yelled and pushed his shoulder. “I told you to leave her alone. Jesus.”

Clarke sidled up next to the goalie and put a soft hand on her shoulder. “Come on Lexa. Coach told me to take you back to the locker room to change then to the nurse if you need it.”

Bellamy glared as Clarke put her arm around Lexa and they slowly made their way off the field and toward the girls locker room. As they reached the bench in front of Lexa’s locker, she sat down slowly and winced, still in pain. She gave Clarke the combination to her locker and sat back as the girl grabbed her things out of it.

“Uh, Lexa, why is this in here?” The blonde held up a brand new athletic cup, still in the packaging.

“Clarke, please put that away.” Lexa pleaded as she looked around for anybody else who might be in the room, Clarke looked over her shoulder and the girl’s eyes matched her tone.

“Okay.” Clarke whispered as she put the cup back where she found it. “Are you, like, transgender or something? I mean, I don’t care either way. You’re still Lexa and I’ll still get a better grade than you at some point. Someday.” She smiled softly at the brunette who only looked to her feet. A move Clarke had come to know as ‘Lexa is embarrassed.’

It was a long few seconds, but “intersex” was mumbled. Clarke’s eyes went wide, because she may or may not have heard ‘into sex’ because of said mumbling. But there is no way that was what Lexa had said.

“What?”

“Intersex. Not Trans. I was born with both male and female anatomy. Please don’t tell anyone. No one outside of my family knows. Please, Clarke.” The pleading was back.

“I would never.” Clarke tried to reassure the poor girl but she still couldn’t get direct eye contact. “Hey, look at me.” Slowly the brunette did. “Can I hug you?” Slowly she got a nod. Clarke knelt in front of her and wrapped her arms around the taller girl, she tucked her head into Lexa’s neck. “You’re okay. I’ve known you forever, Lex. I would never betray you like that, okay?”

It took a long while but eventually Lexa was slowly nodding. “Okay.”

Clarke kissed her cheek quickly. “Are you still in pain?”

Lexa froze for a second then shook her head. “I think I’m alright now. Thank you.”

Clarke went home that night and waited by the door for her mom to come home. As soon as Abby stepped through the door, she started firing off questions about people who are born intersex. “What does it mean? How does that happen? What percentage of the population does it affect? Google is only so helpful, Mom.” All questions were answered to the best of Abby’s knowledge. When she asked why Clarke was so curious, she was told, “Not my secret, so I'm not sharing.” Which Abby respected her daughter for. If you asked Abby, she knew it was about Lexa.

May 2006

“Lexa, can I asked you a really personal question?” It was about three weeks since had Clarke found out about Lexa being intersex and she had done an immense amount of research into the topic, but she hadn't brought it up with the brunette again. They were currently in Clarke's room, watching TV on Clarke's bed.

“Sure.”

“So, don't freak out or anything, but I've been doing some research on people who are born intersex.”

“You have?” Lexa raised an eyebrow in questioning, honestly surprised.

“Well yeah. If I was born with something different about me, wouldn't you research it? It's our nature as nerds, Lex.”

“Yeah, okay. You're right. What's your question?”

“Do you hate it?” Clarke looked to her nervously, not wanting to make Lexa uncomfortable.

“Being intersex?”

“Well sorta, but I meant, specifically your penis?”

“Oh. Uh, no. I actually don't. I know a lot of people do, when they are born like this. I just don't want to be viewed as a freak. I already have a hard enough time because of my immensely selective personality in regards to socializing. But, if everyone were as accepting as you, I wouldn't hide it.”

“Cool. Want to watch Lion King?”

Lexa chuckled softly at the segue, as she shook her head. “Sure, Clarke.”

If you asked Clarke, Lexa’s laugh in any form was the best. After that conversation, Lexa would actually interact with the other people who were present, outside of Clarke their friends. She felt safer knowing Clarke knew her secret and wouldn't tell. Two of the new kids joined their group too, Raven and Lincoln. Octavia was immediately all over Lincoln, and her brother hated it, which made Clarke's day.

By the end of sophomore year, Clarke started making Lexa hang out with her more. “Lexa, summer reading is so boring. You’re the only one who is as big of a nerd as I am. Keep me entertained.” Or “Lexa, please? College applications are like, almost here. I have to get into Harvard.” Or, Lexa’s favorite, not that she would ever tell someone. “I just kinda need you around, Lex.” This led to many days lounging around the Griffin house. If you asked Lexa, these were her favorite days of high school.

November 2006

"Clarke, I need your help." Lexa whisper yelled as she got to their lunch spot.

"Sure, anything."

"You know that new girl, Costia? I think she has a thing for me, and she was just flirting and asked me to go see a movie. But I didn't realize it was like, a date thing until I said sure and I was walking over here. It was like an epiphany as I walked. What do I do?"

Clarke shook her head and laughed under her breath. "Oh Lexa. Do you want to go on a date with her?"

"I, uh. I don't know. I don't know anything about her." Lexa sighed.

"Funny thing about dates, Lex. You talk and get to know someone on them."

"So I should go?"

"It's up to you. Don't do anything you don't want to."

Lexa went on that date and showed up three hours later at Clarke's house. She could tell the girl was upset, but she just sat on the end of Clarke's bed silently for a while.

"She wanted me to touch her during the movie." Lexa clenched her jaw and looked straight ahead at a painting Clarke had done that hung on the wall. "I told her I wasn't that kind of person, that we didn't really know each other, and she got upset with me."

Clarke stared at the side of Lexa's head from where she was leaning on her dresser. "What the actual fuck?"

"Yeah." She exhaled hard. "Can I sleep over?"

"Of course, Lex. We can cuddle and watch Lord of the Rings."

The rest of junior year went on like nothing happened. Lexa was able to block out that one shitty night and pretend it never happened. Clarke told their friends to be wary of Costia, but wouldn't say why. She said they were more than welcome to ask Lexa, but she wouldn't give up any details. Everyone just let it go.

July 2007

“Lexa, it’s so damn hot.” Clarke whined from the spot she was currently occupying sprawled out on the hardwood floor in the living room. It was hot outside, like really hot. A sweltering 92 degrees which was the highest on record for the area in nearly thirty years.

“I don’t control the weather Clarke.” Lexa replied matter-of-factly from her mirrored position on the opposite side of the coffee table.

“Let’s go in the pool.”

“I uh. I don’t know Clarke. I haven't been-”

Clarke cut her off before she could finish. “Lex, if you’re not comfortable, that’s okay. But, it’s just you and me here. You’re safe.” Clarke has known about ‘little Lexa’ as she referred to it for a little over a year. It had brought up exactly three times. The time she asked if Lexa was okay with it, the time they were learning about male reproductive health, and last month when Lexa said she had a doctor's appointment for a fertility screening. Needless to say, Lexa felt comfortable with herself around Clarke.

“Okay. I just need to run home and get my stuff.”

“Really?” Clarke rolled over, proper herself up on her elbow and looked at her friend. “I mean it you know. I would never pressure you into anything.”

“I know Clarke, I promise I’m okay. I trust you.”

Fifteen minutes later, Lexa walked back into the Griffin house, appropriate swim attire in hand and was met with Clarke’s voice telling her to head into the pool. Abby had called and she needed to finish changing. Lexa, tied her hair back, dressed quickly in trunks and a bikini top, then grabbed towels for the two of them and hopped into the pool. She was standing about waist deep when Clarke finally emerged from the house. She was wearing a navy blue bikini that left little to the imagination. The blonde had yet to look at the pool, but was talking anyway.

“Lexa, is your anatomy the reason you didn’t stay that time you came for my birthday?”

“Uh. Yeah. It is hard to try to explain why I wear swim trunks, without telling everyone my secret.” Clarke looked to her friend, who was staring down at the water. She raised an eyebrow, knowing something was troubling the brunette, and slowly eased into the water. Making her way over to her friend, she came to a stop just in front of the other girl, who immediately backed away.

Clarke didn’t take another step toward her because she wanted to make sure Lexa was comfortable, and right now, she was sure Lexa was not. “What’s going on in that beautiful mind of yours?”

“Nothing.” She still didn’t look up.

“Then why won’t you look at me? You only do that when you're uncomfortable or embarrassed.” She watched as Lexa flushed a shade of dark pink she had seen once or twice on the brunette. “Lex?”

“I, uh. I didn’t think this through enough.”

“What? Swimming?” Clarke questioned softly.

Lexa’s shoulders dropped a bit. “Well, yeah kinda. Mostly, you in a bathing suit. You’re just…” She finally lifted her eyes from the water, finding piercing blue eyes instead. “You’re really, really beautiful. And I am really attracted to you but I don’t want to be, um, disrespectful or objectify you.” She pointed down to the water, and the point was made.

Nope. Not expecting that. It took a few seconds for Clarke’s brain to process what Lexa had said. When it finally did, she was already unconsciously moving forward, toward the other nervous teen. This time Lexa didn’t move back. She placed on hand on Lexa’s cheek and brushed her thumb over the bottom lip that was currently being chewed to hell and back. “So are you, Lexa. So beautiful. And god, I've been attracted to you for years.” She whispered, then leaned in and placed her lips on brunette’s. It was slow and timid at first, both girls not exactly sure what to do with themselves. Lexa was the first to figure it out and gently put her hands on Clarke’s hips. She pulled the shorter girl closer to her as their lips continued to slide over each other. Clarke wrapped her arms around the brunette's neck and pulled her in even tighter. If you asked Clarke who made the first move to deepen the kiss she’d blush and tell you she didn’t know. It was her, it was totally her.

Life didn’t change much after that, aside from Lexa and Clarke now being a couple. They spent the rest of summer completing their AP course summer work. They applied for colleges, they playfully competed for Valedictorian, even though Clarke was sure she would never beat Lexa’s score on anything.

One month into the school year, Clarke had enough of Bellamy and Finn with their tirade against Lexa for no apparent reason. She went to her dad, who called Marcus Kane, the high school principal. The boys were suspended and told they would be expelled if it didn’t stop. They did.

Three months into the school year, Clarke actually convinced Lexa to go to a party.

November 2007

“This music is awful.” Lexa groaned as she and Lincoln pushed their way through the crowd at Raven’s house. The only thing Lexa liked about the party so far, is that it was almost over. She had stayed with Clarke and their friends through most of the night, as they drank and laughed. They only separated when a buzzed Octavia announced she had to pee and drug Clarke along with her. She instructed Lincoln, who was also sober, to make sure her brother didn't bother Lexa. “How late do these things usually go?” She nearly yelled, to make sure her question was heard over the thumping of the bass line.

“Until people start puking or the cops show up.” Lincoln shrugged, like it was all normal. She was working on her second bottle of water when arms slipped around her waist from behind.

“You're really sexy, you know that?” Clarke husked into her ear, then kissed just below it. Public displays of affection still weren't either Lexa or Clarke's thing, they chose to keep their relationship private. At school, they held hands but nothing really more than that. In private, they were not quite as reserved. “We should get out of here. I want to make out.”

Lexa chuckled softly and smiled. “Okay, we can go. Do you want to get food first?”

The slightly intoxicated blonde’s eyes lit up. “Oh. My. God. Yes. Babe, you're a genius. Octavia! Lexa’s a genius. Go get Harper, we're going to Denny's.”

That's how Clarke, Lexa, Octavia, Lincoln, Harper and Monty all ended up at IHOP at two thirty in the morning. Harper had argued that the Denny's they had set out for was crawling with drunk college guys at that time. Clarke had her own food in front of her, but insisted on eating Lexa’s fries, humming happily after each one she stole. They all sat there laughing and talking until Clarke and Harper were pretty much sober, Octavia was a whole different story. Everyone bid each other farewell, as they all went to their separate vehicles. As Lexa navigated the streets back home, Clarke’s hand inched it's way over the center console. It finally reached the soccer players lean thigh about five minutes into the trip. It stayed there the rest of the way, and Lexa chanced a couple of glances at stoplights, seeing that Clarke was just looking forward, smiling. She looked content, like she didn't have a single care in the world. If you asked Lexa, that's one of her favorite looks from Clarke. Once they pulled into the driveway at Lexa’s, Clarke finally made her move. She leaned over the console to press a kiss to the brunette’s lips, at the same time, her hand went to the nape of the driver's neck. She kissed her girlfriend passionately, until she needed to breathe.

When Lexa managed to get air into her lungs, she decided to pose a tricky question. They hadn't done anything more that some heavy make outs and a little bit of grinding on each other. “Do you want to stay over tonight?”

Clarke looked at her somewhat shyly, considering how aggressively she had just been kissing her girlfriend. “Are your parents still out of town?”

“Yes, but I didn't mean that in that way, babe. I just want your cuddles. And if we do go there I want you to feel just as comfortable as you always make me feel.”

Clarke smiled softly. “I know. And I appreciate that. I love you, Lex.”

“I love you too, Clarke.” It was Lexa’s turn to lean over the console and kiss her girlfriend, but it was a short, sweet kiss. “Now, am I walking you home or are you coming up?”

“I'm coming up.”

They grabbed a glass of water each and a movie from downstairs then settled into Lexa’s bed, with the brunette as the big spoon. The movie played as the sun rose but neither girl paid any attention. Instead they laid there, trading slow lazy kisses. At some point, shirts were removed so they could gently caress each other’s skin. At another point, Lexa’s lips left Clarke's and she pressed them to every inch of the girls exposed torso. When she reached the waistband of Clarke's shorts, she was asked to keep going, so she did. She pulled them down slowly keeping her eyes on the perfect face of her girlfriend, looking for any sign of discomfort, she never found it.

She continued to worship the body beneath her until her name was being moaned out, over and over again. She continued to worship the goddess that made her feel so entirely comfortable with herself, that sometimes she forgot she was made differently.

Clarke looked at her with so much adoration and love after she tumbled over the edge for the second time, that Lexa almost forgot what they were doing. Long fingers gripped her chin and pulled her back up to meet the blonde's lips. “Lex, please. I want to feel you too, and I need you to feel me.” If you asked Lexa, that was the moment that she knew as long as she lived, no one would ever compare to Clarke.

The rest of senior year went perfectly.

Three weeks before graduation, Clarke found out she got into Harvard. Two weeks before graduation, Lexa found out she got into MIT. One week before graduation, Lexa and Clarke were told they were Valedictorian and Salutatorian, respectively.

One day before graduation, Clarke did not show up for the practice run through.

June 2008

“Lexa Woods, please report to the office.” The office secretary's voice came through the PA system. Lexa made her way to the office quickly, unsure of what she could have possibly done to get summoned on the last day of school. She opened the office door to find her father standing at the counter with a sad smile.

“Hey kiddo.” Alexander was a somewhat intimidating man to those who didn't know him. He was a construction manager who had worked his way up from the very bottom. He was physically a large guy, built like a bull as he would say.

“Dad. What's wrong?”

He sighed and nodded his head out the door. “I'm taking you home early.”

“What happened to mama?”

“No! Nothing. Munchkin, mama is fine. It's Jake Griffin, he had a heart attack on the way to work this morning.”

Lexa’s eyes immediately welled with concern. Jake and Abby had always been like a second set of parents to her. “Oh my god. Is… is he going to make it?”

“I don't know, munchkin. But mama called me to come get you so that you can be with Clarke.” She nodded and they got into the car and drove wordlessly to the hospital. When they arrived, Alexander guided her to where he was told the Griffin women were waiting. Clarke looked up when she entered the room and both of them broke out into sobs as Lexa through her arms around her. They stayed there, wrapped up together, neither girl ever moving to let go, until the doctor came in hours later and told them Jake was going to be okay.

Lexa read Clarke's speech at the graduation ceremony the next day. It was the only way Clarke could convince her to go. As soon as it was over, she was right back at the hospital along with their friends.

The first years of college passed quickly for the couple. Clarke and Lexa were both in the Boston area making life so much better during college. They were the ideal couple to their friends, and yes, Lexa made more friends. College was good to her. They only had one big fight during the their undergrad.

September 2010

“Lexa, please. I need you to help around here.” They moved into a small apartment after their first year of college so they could be together. Lexa had taken up app developing with a friend in her spare time, and she tended to zone out when she was really into it. “Lexa? Are you even listening to me?”

“Yeah, babe. I’m listening.” She replied from her spot on the couch, eyes not leaving the screen.

“What did I say then?” Clarke’s hands went to her hips and she cocked her head to the side.

Lexa finally looked away from the computer. “Okay, to be completely honest I missed the first part of what you said. But I am listening now.”

Clarke closed her eyes and shook her head. “Oh, you have got to be fucking kidding me. Lexa this place is a disaster. It’s so gross. I get that college is easy for you and you’re like a natural genius who never needs to study, but maybe in your free time you could pull yourself away from the computer for five minutes and wash the damn dishes.”

Lexa sat up straight and looked around the room, then looked back at Clarke with a furrowed brow. “Okay, babe. I’ll wash them right now.” She got up and went into the kitchen to find two coffee cups and a plate. She was confused even more now, so after rinsing them and placing them in the dishwasher, she returned to the living room and picked up the three pieces of paper on the coffee table. She placed them in her back pack, then sat back down at her laptop. She began the sign off procedure for the developer tool she was using, making sure all her work was saved.

Clarke came back into the room at that precise moment. “Really, Lexa? Really. You couldn’t stop and do what I asked for five minutes?”

“I did what you asked Clarke, and I am turning my computer off to help you with whatever you need for the rest of the night.” Lexa stood and faced her girlfriend. “What is going on with you?”

“What’s going on with me? Really?” She folded her arms over her chest. “I have to do everything, all of the time, and I asked you to help me this once, and something is going on with me?” She dropped her arms to the side. “You know what? I’m leaving.”

Lexa’s jaw dropped and her heart sank. She didn’t say anything or move to stop the furious woman, she just stood there, in shock. Clarke left the apartment with a slam of the door.

She returned four hours later to a spotless apartment, freshly laundered sheets and clothing which was put away appropriately, and a crying girlfriend sitting on her side of their bed.

“Lex, baby.” She slowly approached their bed. “I’m sorry for how I acted earlier. It was wrong, I was unfair to you. I know you do stuff around here. Hell, I know there were only three dishes in the sink earlier. I’m so sorry.”

Lexa sniffed before looking up at Clarke. The brunette was not a crier, Clarke had maybe seen it three times in the years they have known each other. She immediately started crying as well, knowing how much she had to have hurt Lexa for there to be tears. “Why?” Was all she managed to croak out at first. “I love you more than anything in this world Clarke. You just left. You left me.”

“I know baby, I know. I shouldn't have left. I love you too. I promise I'll never do that again.” Clarke slowly leaned in and pressed their foreheads together, tears still rolling down both of their cheeks. “I'm so sorry.” Lexa was the one to lean forward and press their lips together in a salty, tear filled kiss. “I think I figured out why I flew off the handle like that. It's not an excuse for how I acted.” She lifted the plastic Walgreen's bag and pulled out a pregnancy test. “I haven’t had my period for the last two months. I chalked it up to stress because we always use protection.”

“You… You think you might be pregnant?” Lexa’s jaw dropped as she looked at the box.

“It’s either that or I have a huge hormone imbalance for some other reason.”

Clarke wasn’t pregnant. She went the the doctor who basically just shrugged and said it happens, then put her on birth control to help regulate her. There were no more outbursts, but there was a lot more sex. Now that they were sure there would be no babies in their near future coupled with the fact that they both loved the feeling of not have a condom barrier between them. If you asked Clarke, that fight never happened, because she is still mad at herself to this day about how much she hurt Lexa.

Oh and that app Lexa was working on? Well, it sold to Facebook two years later for an undisclosed amount of money. Lexa was now an undisclosed amount of loaded. (She had $140 million.) Neither of them would ever have to work again if they chose not to, just on the interest alone.

It wasn't until after graduation from grad school, Lexa garnering a double masters in engineering and architecture, Clarke finishing law school, that they broached the subject of marriage.

November 2014

“Clarke, baby. Wake up.” Lexa gently shook her sleeping girlfriend into consciousness early on a Saturday morning.

“Five more minutes, Lex.” The blonde mumbled and pushed her head deeper into the pillow.

“Clarke, come on. It's important.” Lexa whined from next to her. Clarke slowly rolled onto her side and came eye to eye with her girlfriend. “Hi.”

“Hey. Do you know what today is?”

“No? Should I? Our anniversary is in July. Your birthday is in April. Mine was August -”

“Okay, okay. Technically it's none of those, but it's also all of those. Today is special for its own reason.” Lexa explained. “Today's date is 10/22/14. Your birthday is August 10th, mine is April 22nd, and our anniversary is July 14th. And I would also, very much like it if, it could be described as the day you agreed to marry me?”

Clarke's eyes went wide. “What?”

Lexa pulled a small ring box out from under her pillow. “Clarke Abigail Griffin, would you please continue to make me the happiest woman in the world by marrying me?”

Clarke's eyes filled with tears and she nodded vigorously. “Yes. Yes. Yes yesyesyes.” She punctuated each yes with a kiss.

If you asked Lexa, there was no happier moment in her life, up to this point, than when Clarke said I do the next year on the same day. If you asked Clarke, Lexa is the world's biggest sap. It's totally true and Clarke totally loves it.

The wedding was a small, intimate affair. Their wedding party consisted of Harper, Octavia, and Raven on Clarke's side, and Lincoln, Monty and Anya (Lexa’s college friend) on the other.

They did a traditional dollar dance at the wedding and they donated the money to a school in Thailand. Drunk Monty paid three times, danced with each girl once and then initiated a group hug style sway on the third. Lexa cut him off.

When they got back from the honeymoon, Lexa and Anya architecture firm exploded in popularity. They hired Raven, Monty and Lincoln to work with them, paying for them and their spouses to move to Boston. Clarke went to work at the district attorney’s office and life continued pushing forward. Harper became a highschool teacher and Octavia a social worker.

Octavia and Lincoln got married next, it was also a small wedding. Lexa and Clarke made a large, anonymous, donation to wedding their fund. Everyone still knew who it was, no one questioned it. At the wedding, the women did their best to keep away from Bellamy, who still seemed to harbor some sort of grudge.

March 2016

“You can chill the fuck out or you can leave. Those are your two options Bell.” Octavia poked him in the chest to further make her point.

“I'm not leaving your wedding, O. You're my sister. Make her leave.” He squared his shoulders and clenched his jaw.

Octavia had enough. “Why would I do that? You have tormented Lexa for her entire life, Bellamy. Her whole life. If someone did that to me, there is no way I would be friends with his sister. She has never once, never ever, said a cross word about you to me. God knows she could, but she doesn’t. So what the fuck is your problem?”

“How was she so weird all through school and she still got Clarke to fall for her?” Bellamy glared over her shoulder to where the happy couple was chatting with Raven and Anya. He clenched his jaw again as Lexa leaned over and pressed a kiss to Clarke's temple.

“That's what this is all about? You're upset you could never land Clarke. Un-fucking-believable. Okay, number one she wasn’t ‘weird’, she was quiet. There is a difference. Number two, you know what, no, I'm done talking to you. If you so much as think about going near either one of them, I will have your ass thrown out of here so fast, Bellamy Blake.” She turned and stomped away, an elegant feat in a wedding dress. She turned and stomped back quickly. “Just so you know, they have treated me more like family in the past ten plus years than you ever have. Look around you, they'll never admit it, but they are the ones that paid for everything. Pull your head out of your ass.” She stomped away, for good this time.

The dance floor was opened up after the newly married couple swayed to Etta James’ At Last. Next, Clarke and Lexa slowly swayed to Elvis’ I Can't Help Falling In Love With You, which was their first dance song just a few short months ago. When the song concluded, some pop medley came on and Lexa excused herself to the restroom and to grab two more drinks. At 25 years old, Lexa liked to think her level of self control was pretty damn high. That being said, she was completely unsurprised by the events of the forty five seconds between her re entering the ballroom and Bellamy holding his bleeding nose in the middle of the dance floor.

“Clarke, can I talk to you for a second?” Bellamy nearly pleaded as he approached the blonde in the middle of the dance floor.

“That depends, do you have an itemized list of all the things you're going to apologise to my wife for?” She really enunciated wife, just for him.

He rubbed the back of his neck nervously before stammering out his response. “No, I was just hoping to talk to you. Maybe you could give me another chance to prove that I'm a good -”

“Oh no. We're not doing this. You aren't going to stand here and disrespect my marriage.” Clarke turned to walk off the dance floor when a strong hand griped her bicep.

“Clarke wait.”

She shot him a glare. “Let me go, Bellamy.”

“Just let me finish-” His pleading was cut off by a fist to the face. He stumbled backward and hit the ground with a thud, clearly not prepared for the hit.

“You do not get to put your hands on my wife.” A very livid Lexa was standing over him, one hand bunched in his collar. “You bullying me in school was one thing. I didn't fight back because I would have hurt you, severely, and I couldn't have that on my record. But I swear on all that you hold dear, if you ever touch Clarke again, they will never find your body.” With that, she released him and gently took her wife's hand, leading her from the dance floor.

Lincoln came up to Bellamy after the women walked away. “O said to tell you that you deserved so much more than what you just got, and you should feel lucky that Lexa is such a good person. And also that she warned you, now it's time for you to leave. I've gotta say, man, I definitely don't disagree.” He waved over two of his friends who were ushers for the ceremony. “Make sure he leaves.” Lincoln shook his head in disappointment and walked back to where his wife was standing with their friends.

“Damn Lexa, where’d you learn to throw a punch like that?” Raven questioned, handing over a bag of ice for her knuckles.

“I've been taking muay thai classes since I was six.” Everyone's jaw dropped as they gaped at her. Everyone except Clarke. “What?”

“So you could have handled his ass a long time ago?” Lincoln asked, brow furrowed.

“Well, after the arm incident, they physically left me alone, so there was nothing I could do. If I hit him first, it would have been on my record forever.” Lexa shrugged. Clarke had known for many years about Lexa’s martial art prowess. She even went to a few matches in high school. It was just one of those things Lexa chose not to talk about with anyone besides her, so Clarke left it that way. “I tried to never let him get to me, guys, but tonight was the last straw. Sorry this happened at your wedding O.”

“Oh, no. That’s okay. He deserved it. I even warned him to stay away from you both.”

Harper and Monty got married next, but it was a quick, courthouse ceremony. Harper was pregnant and they needed to add her to Monty's insurance. He still worked for Lexa and Anya, and they tried to pull some strings but the insurance company wasn't having it.

December 2016

“Look at her Lex. She's perfect.” The Griffin-Woods stood in front of the viewing window of the nursery at Mass General. “Emma Amelia Green. I can't believe she is finally here.”

“Me either, babe. You know, I did the math. She was definitely conceived around the time of Linc and O’s wedding.” They shared a laugh, then continued watching the tiny infant sleep. “I want one.” Clarke was surprised to find that she was hearing those words instead of being the one to say them. She looked at her wife, surprise evident on her face.

“You do?”

“Well, yeah.” Lexa shrugged. “I want everything with you.” Clarke hummed and nodded. “Can you imagine? A little girl with your nose and my eyes.” Lexa chuckled and wrapped her arms firmly around her wife.

“I was thinking a little boy with your hair and my eyes.”

Lexa pressed a kiss to Clarke's temple before mumbling. “That would be nice too.”

If you asked Clarke, she was ready to have Lexa’s baby all those years ago, when they thought she might be pregnant. If you asked Lexa, everything that has happened between her and Clarke happened at the precisely perfect moment.

They had managed to keep Lexa’s secret about being intersex from their friends until the time that they conceived. None of them batted an eye.

Alexander Jacob Griffin-Woods or AJ for short, was born April 29th, 2018 at 6:43pm. He was 6 lbs 13 oz of physical perfection. He had Clarke’s hair and Lexa’s eyes. After she saw him for the first time, Clarke looked at her wife with a wide grin. “If you asked me way back in third grade, I would have never guessed this would be when I finally beat you at something.”

Lexa just shrugged, smiled, then kissed her and then kissed her son as she stroked his blonde hair. “Yeah, you earned this one.”

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