#like??? I think that’s just a little bit immature but I guess it’s whatever bc they are young and will survive it if they ever do get it🤪

[ryuichirou]

Replies

More replies~

Anonymous asked:

Do you watch other adult swim cartons like moral orel or the venture bros?

Not really, sorry :( Nothing against these shows, I guess we just don’t gravitate towards them. Venture Bros was recommended to us though.

Anonymous asked:

"Nooo Ortho wanted to slurp this one" not a problem at all, i don't mind sharing uwu uhuhuhuh sorry for cursing the askbox so soon too XDDD i couldn't help it

Ah it’s so nice when people share… uwu

No worries btw, every single thing in this blog is cursed one way or another, so it really fits xD

Anonymous asked:

No bc the way your fem idia is just insanely body goals

Omg Anon, thank you?? I don’t think if she should be body goals though, she’s kind of too skinny for her height… she just has a high metabolism genetically I guess, I’m pretty sure any other means of achieving her appearance would be unhealthy...

Anonymous asked:

I never thought about ADeuce in the future, but the idea of them being together without really committing to a relationship makes a lot of sense.

I imagine a similar scenario for Ruggie/Leona. They wouldn't even see eachother that frequently, but they still keep in touch and hook up whenever they do meet. They are not just keeping this up because it's beneficial to them, they actually seem to enjoy eachother's company. It's not anything close to dating, and they would never call it love, but I feel like that's the highest level of commitment you can get from either of them. Also Ruggie would probably spend a lot of time working, leaving the Sunset Savanna quite often. If he sees a chance to bag some extra cash he is not going to let a little distance stop him! Meanwhile Leona is just hanging around the royal court. Has he given up on his plan to help the poor people of his country or is he cooking something? Honestly not even Ruggie knows...

(this is related to the 6th reply from this post)

ADeuce really are a bit annoying like that, but I love them for it. Everyone knows you want to be together, guys. You’re just being stubborn for the sake of being stubborn, because you’re too afraid the other party is going to ridicule you for expressing your feelings that both of you are already aware of, because you’ve been sleeping together for years, COME! ON!

Also everything you said about Ruggie/Leona makes sense! Ruggie is too busy and focused on his job(s) to start a family, and Leona is either plotting something or just doing nothing being unmotivated… so whenever they have an opportunity to do so, hooking up sounds logical: why not? It’s definitely not love and not a romantic relationship, but it is a relationship nonetheless… a mutually beneficial one, but also a surprisingly “comfortable” one because both of them are so used to this dynamic that doesn’t require any emotional effort. They’re surprisingly on the same page.

Anonymous asked:

i might have written an OC spanking Riddle once :eyes: usually i just see characters and readers or OCs being spanked by Riddle, but he would be so cute being spanked! teary eyed, confused and flustered, his ass clearly needs attention

(this is related to the 2nd reply from this post)

I know right? For some reason it just works. Maybe it’s because of his backstory and him being so very serious but also so immature, but if you imagine a spanking scenario with Riddle, it’s like… he belongs there lol

Anonymous asked:

About how young was Silver when he and Lilia first started fuckin 🤔 honestly I'm super interested in what those early days would have looked like, and how their first few times would go

Honestly, it depends on whatever route you want to take for any specific post/art/comic/etc, and I feel like with us it’s always a very vague and implied “kind of young”.

We explain it with Lilia having uhh alternative views on parenting, it’s like a mix of him being a fae (turns out, this doesn’t excuse him 😔), him not knowing how children work and him adoring Silver way too much and having too much fun with him. He’s not the best person lol So yeah, Silver was probably way too young to figure out what’s going on, but also this whole thing was a “norm” to him, because it also happened very gradually: the goodnight kisses became more mature, the way they cuddle changed; and with Silver absolutely adoring Lilia, trusting him so much and believing that Lilia only wants what’s best for him, he never had a problem with any of it. Even the first times weren’t too much of a shock to him, especially since Silver considered it to be some special type of training that he really wanted to get good at as soon as possible.

The Zigvolts would’ve been terrified if they found out…….

#replies #lilisil

[sunnnfish]

Okay. Okay tashiro gonzaburou post for real. Under a cut bc it got much longer than i expected. ^_^

Tashiro Gonzaburou is frankly someone we don’t know that much about, really. He’s an average student, if a little lazy. He likes having his hair bleached but it’s not like he’s repeatedly bleaching it because the captain of his club told him it’s not allowed. He helps out around a bathhouse full of older folks who treat him like a grandson, giving him candy and recipes and elderly wisdom, which he takes in stride. He often wears a bright green jacket with a even brighter orange messenger bag. He doesn’t seem to like his bangs in his face, rather wearing a ponytail or a headband or beanie. He’s cheerful and a little scatterbrained, but always willing to help his friends. He wants a girlfriend, one day. He’s got crazy leg hair. He notices whatever sasaki and miyano have going on, way before there’s actually anything going on. He was a little worried about whatever they have going on because sasaki comes across as a little scary to anyone who’s not miyano. He’s in the ping pong club. He was chosen to be the next captain of the ping pong club because he’s the type who can get along with everyone. He is oddly susceptible to thinking boys are girls. He has very dexterous fingers, and is capable of spinning two pens around his fingers at the same time. He’s repeatedly said how he thinks what’s on the inside is more important than the outside of a person. He skips club practice, often enough for hanzawa to get angry with him. He doesn’t think he’s smart enough to be club captain. He’s a little worried about how busy hanzawa is, and doesn’t want to be a further burden to him, so he accepts the position as club captain.

And so I guess all this is to say we actually do know a lot about him. He’s a complex and well rounded person, full of kindness and a sharp insight that could make him a top student if he could apply it to his studies. But instead it’s applied to the people he knows and sees, capable of making connections that are far beyond surface level, because that’s the most important part, of course. He doesn’t have low self esteem, he’s just never considered himself one to be very… important, in the grand scheme of things. Especially in the eyes of someone like hanzawa. That “Why me” mentality. But he’s got charm and charisma and is really good at bringing people together. A guy who can be anyone’s friend.

If we want to get into real headcanon-ish (aka things I hold true in my heart no matter what anyone says) territory, I do think he’s the type to not really. tell people his problems. Surface level ones like forgetting his homework, sure, but like. Deep seated fears or worries or stresses. If we want to make comparisons, hanzawas got that kind of smile where you can tell there’s something more going on in him, while tashiros has that outward air of head empty. A persona built around being happy-go-lucky as a kind of defense mechanism—if he isn’t optimistic then who is he. But it’s not like he isn’t genuinely optimistic and cheerful—he is. But it kind of makes being vulnerable hard. He’ll gladly let people open up to him but. Opening up to others doesn’t come naturally. He doesn’t want to burden others. It’s like. Not as deep as I feel like I’m making it sound but it’s just. He will bottle things up. Just a bit.

And then about his insightfulness— nobody really. Tells tashiro things. Likely out of a thought he can’t take things seriously or that he’s too immature. (He does take things seriously though). And at this point nobody thinks to tell him things cause he just figures it out rather quickly. He keeps eyes and ears open and gathers information easily. And people are surprised when he knows things because he doesn’t seem the type to know things or be so insightful to the very core of who they are. He pulls out Sherlock Holmes-esque reasonings like I know you’ve been feeling less nervous lately cause your nails look healthier aka you haven’t been biting them. Idk I’m not good at Holmes but surely you get it. Like the noticing of the most minuscule of things combined with general knowledge of a persons mentality thus creating very accurate assessments. Not that he tells anyone these things unless it piques his interest. Nor that he himself really knows these are deep insights either.

And then his GENDER. Not much to say here but. He was considered along with miyano to be girly enough to do a maid cafe in their first year. When miyano and the gang were thinking abt what their girl names would be tashiro like. Really likes his. Shirahama “I want to be ‘not single’ with a girl” tashiro “want me to crossdress…?” his only claim to manliness is his leg hair. Gender off the charts. Silly guy.

Also silly things I think about him. He’s really into party tricks (like the pencil spinning thing) (started bc he wanted to impress girls but now it’s just fun). He can also do stuff like simple card magic and that thing where you pull a coin out of someone’s ear. He actually really likes problem solving he just can’t handle the school system. Bequeathes him adhd autism. He’s also like. Really into hip hop dance. Because I said so.

Anyways erm. This definitely got longer than expected. I like skimmed through sasamiya again just to find like every piece of him I could. He has CONTINUITY. All of them do. Harusono Shou you are so great at characters. Tashiro Gonzaburou you have a grip on my mind. Love and light

#if anyone’s also read Harusono shous bloom onstage. I kind of connect tashiro to asahi. #I also need to post more about bloom onstage. oniwa asahi changed me #ANYWAYS. this is a post about tashiro gonzaburou #why can’t I write this much for my godforsaken art history class #erm anyways. I love tashiro gonzaburou deeply #I have fucking always been obsessed with the kind of character that is like everyone’s friend but is actually kinda lonely #so I’m kinda projecting that onto him #don’t know what that says about me. well ! #sighs longingly… I wish there were 10000 words of tashiro lore…. tell me Harusono shou….. #tashiro gonzaburou #sasaki to miyano #written a few nights ago. a fervor if you will

[kaleidosouls]

hi. (pulls out uke)

IM JOKING but i havent posted here in forever huh, are ppl still around? i guess ill comment on like, whats been going in in the time i havent posted

so a long time ago now i wanted to like, cut off from twitter, so i deleted the kaleidosouls twitter, and wanted to keep my art stuff just on insta mostly, trying to move since twitter is a sinking ship right. then my instagram got deleted for no reason (and so did my pinterest that was ful of refs and honestly that was more upseting than insta getting deletedand losing all my art following)

ive been mildly caught up in IRL/college stuff in the meantime,having da depression, and the exec dysfunction same as awlays like. not much has actually been happening but ive been going acutally all over the place trying to figure out what im gonna do with my internet social media stuff. im looking into internships (other field) and im like, i havent given up being an artist professionally exactly but i think im like fuck it. fuck this like, building my Internet career or whatever. like, im gona wokr on my art portfolio and try to find art job stuf thats not really about how popular my art is on twitter or smth. none of that shit rly matters anymoer. same w here, i probably wouldve delted this tumblr if it wasnt the main like, blog so all my other blogs dpened on this one right.

im not like, done posting art online but ive been changing how im going about it and i still havent found my like, place yet. i did remake instagram, a main one and one for creature/pokemon stuff. idk im figuring out my life but i guess the main point is that its all a mess, and its not a disaster like things are going bad or anythin just that ive been in this inertia of disorder for a long time. im getting old. really tired lately, barely draw that much

i still rly love and am holding onto my personal ideas/projects that i want to execute oveer time altho they cant be a priority rn becuase of stuff in life. i got a really bad attention span so ill probably like, work on smth a lot for a few ays and then pick it up again in a year or more. the SU stuff is one of those. i actually ammaking this post bc i got really fucking dickhead comments and i was thinking of going off but my social media paranoia PR brain is like weighting on how i cant do that bc itll make my brand look bad and immature, and its like exhausting to live like that yk. altho it Is wise to restrain myself from being mean dsgkj but i also think itd be funny to cuss ppl off so :( life is very hard as an adult!

anyway point is. thigns are a mess rn and they will continue to be for the time being. my accoutns got obliterated so if you wanna keep up with me maybe follow my instagram if you want, i keep forgetting tumblr exists so tahst why i post so little on here. i do like postingt here though, nad i like making little blogs. i like ppls tags on ym art and replies. even the pricky ones like, i get to engage my brain a litlte bit adn its like ppl are out there yk? seieng my stuff, rather than just like, a bunch of numbers of how many likes or reblogs smth has.

most of the stuff left on this blog is for SU reclaimed and i still rly like the idea and its good coping for me and i want to pick it up sometimes but idk what to do with it wrt how i wanna present the content. ive considerd many times making a separate tumblr for it and i am considering that Again but maybe i should just quit it and post it here and forget about that. and find a different way to present the totality of the contents of the AU and use this tumblr as a way to just post it like, a 'devblog' (i am not developing SHIT this is just conceptual design writing stuff)

if theres anyone still following thats like engaged/interested in SU reclaimed feel free to comment with your thoughts or suggestions,i guess i could make an instagram for it? but ehh... idt thats how i wanna like, execute it. welp. i guess if i do make smth ill post about it here,i guess the point is that maybe i can try to post on here moreoften, idk, like i want my instagrams to be more tidy and like, impersonal. i deleted twitter bc i dont want to engage that personalyl at ALL anymore as an artist w viewers. not to mention it sinking. but i guess tumblr Is the perfect place to keep that unprofessional, slightly casual blogging artist experience. maybe if i get to cuss ppl out :D but then i dont wanna get harassed later over it. hm.. sucks to exist online tbh

thank u if youve read this far. if youre a mutual (somehow) or a long time follower and wanna know how to better keep up w me since i know im disappearing a lot feel free to dm

#personal #just how ive been/thougths/rambling

[concordefliesinmyroom]

introduction !!!

hii !!!! my name is Violet. i am a really big fan of art & whatnot (basic). i have been taking on a little bit of a personal challenge 2 listen 2 at least one new album every day & ive been working on that challenge for about 1.5 years now !!! i looove talking about art and sharing my thoughts and 4 the past year or so i have been posting all my thoughts and media analysis and whatnot onto my Instagram story, but i have always wanted 2 start posting my thoughts somewhere that is more.... permanent, i guess? bc Instagram stories expire after 24 hours yk. anyways. i finally made a Tumblr blog !!!!! i am COMPLETELY new 2 Tumblr. so i apologize in advance if my blog is like informal or not very "good" quality by Tumblr standards or whatever else i will get better !!!

here is what u can expect from this page:

i am going to post music reviews/recommendations most likely, as well as film & literature & all of that stuff. whenever i see a piece of media that interests me enough 2 want 2 talk abt it im gonna use this blog 2 share my thoughts !!!!

i also am really interested in philosophy, i am only just now formally getting into it, but i have been thinking about that sort of stuff and asking questions like that 4ever. erm. i wouldnt call myself a philosopher bc that feels pretentious but i aspire 2 be a philosopher eventually. ill probably post abt that sort of stuff as well. i am also VERY interested in sociology, psychology, anthropology, political science... pretty much anything like that. i just love learning about things in general EVERYTHING is so fascinating 2 me but especially humanity.

i am a bit interested in politics as well !!!! i dont like to use any labels 4 my political ideas bc i feel like those can be limiting & contribute 2 close-mindedness but if i had 2 describe my alignment in any way i am probably pretty far-left. although i am completely open 2 hearing everyone's ideas!

i might also post about other things as well, im not sure yet !!!

some info abt me:

i am a girl, so, she/her pronouns ig !

i am 16 years old (well im 15 but i turn 16 in two weeks)

i am a member of the LGBTQ community

my handle on most social media sites is yourdadcosplay if u want 2 follow me anywhere else !!! (i dont do cosplay or anything~ when i was 13 i heard some guy on tiktok say the phrase "your dad cosplay" and i thought that combination of words was super funny so i made it into my username on instagram and then it just kind of stuck. and i use that on everything now. only reason i didnt use it 4 my tumblr is bc i didnt want ppl 2 think my blog was a cosplay blog or something idk)

my favorite music artists r: Black Country New Road, Kimya Dawson, Death Grips, Xiu Xiu, and Car Seat Headrest !!!!

my favorite album of all time is Ants From Up There and my favorite movie of all time is Everything Everywhere All at Once, both of those pieces came out in the year 2022.

my favorite book is the manga Goodnight Punpun by Inio Asano, and its actually the book that made me fall in love with literature.

im currently working on creating my own website!!! i dont know anything about HTML though, so it will be a long process.

i dont believe in astrology rlly but i am a Gemini.

my iq is 122 or something around that i dont remember the number i just remember im in the 93rd percentile

i am an INFP

boundaries:

i do try my absolute best to be open-minded and tolerant towards everyone's ideas and beliefs; even those which i disagree with. i actually encourage ppl who disagree with anything i say 2 challenge me or discuss/debate with me. that being said, if u r not willing 2 have a civil and open-minded discussion with me, and if ur only interest is arguing, then i will ask u 2 pls leave me alone. i love talking 2 ppl who have ideas different than my own, but i do not wish 2 engage in any immature internet beefs or anything of that sort.

pls, 4 the love of god, if u r the type of person who gets offended over every little thing; if u r more concerned with petty discourse & things that have no significance 2 any real-life problems; if u lack media literacy; or if u r otherwise just unintelligent, then PLEASE dont interact with my page.

i try my absolute best 2 be a good person. if i ever do anything that u find 2 be morally offensive (this is not just if i say something that makes u feel a bit of angst, but if i say something that u feel is actually problematic.) or if we r interacting directly & i make u uncomfortable, PLEASE TELL ME! i hate it when ppl have problems with me that could easily be resolved but they just dont tell me. it makes me anxious.

also, pls note:

just because i talk about a certain piece of media or art or literature on this blog does not necessarily mean that i agree with the ideas expressed in that blog or even that i like that piece. i try my best to think 4 myself and i do not take all of the ideas that r expressed 2 me as the absolute truth. just because i read any given book does not mean that i necessarily agree with its ideas; the same goes 4 all of the topics i discuss here.

as a large part of this blog is abt media discussion & whatnot, i want 2 say that i am absolutely open 2 any art. and i will not avoid any piece of media just because it is allegedly problematic.

most of this page is dedicated 2 sharing and discussing my ideas on various topics like art, philosophy, politics, and such. i dont think that im going 2 be posting or saying anything that is incredibly morally offensive or anything, and 2 be honest i dont even think my ideas r particularly radical or controversial, but, if there ever does come a time when i might have a potentially controversial idea, i wont hesitate 2 share it. im not going 2 censor myself or sugarcoat my beliefs on this blog just 2 avoid discourse.

all of that being said, this blog is not 2 be taken 100% seriously either. i will talk abt serious topics on here, but i like 2 laugh as well! u should not assume that anything i say is 100% serious or 100% satirical. that SHOULD be a given, but on my Instagram account, i have had a worrying amount of interactions with ppl who got mad at me 4 things bc they assumed i was serious when i wasnt or vice versa.

ok, that is all !!! thx 4 reading !!!

#introductory post #first post #death grips #xiu xiu #kimya dawson #musicposting #girlblogging

[thefunniestguy]

Any thoughts on the hall of egress :] ? /nf

OMY YEAH OK OK WHERE DO I START ,,,,,,,,,, (also throwing this real quick in case i forget , THANK YOU FOR SENDING THIS IN ILY /GEN /P)

so !!! i had watched a video on it , since it's such a great episode , and even now i think i understand it , but there's so much i feel like i don't get fully ! but , the guy put it as (something along the lines of) "the episode where finn grew up" and i think that puts it WONDERFULLY!!! before I rant about the more in-depth (i guess?) stuff , i've got to say that MAN this episode makes me so emotional. even thinking about it makes me tear up and i dunno exactly why ???? i've just got a weirdly strong emotional connection to it SJNFOSNF,,, also it's just very pretty in general . that bit at the end , the one where "something's different" is probably the prettiest methinks !!! it somehow captures a lot of emotions and beauty and aaahhhh,,,, ANYWAY !!

first of all , in my opinion, i think this may be one of the scariest adventure time episodes? maybe not scary as in visually or whatever, but just thinking about it kind of scares ya. putting yourself in finn's shoes and whatnot is absolutely terrifying !! like MAN imagine !!!! you get stuck in a practically never-ending loop, waiting months at a time, scared to open your eyes because you'll just be back where you started. waiting until "something's different" is so vague !! how do you know when something's different? what if you're wrong??

bringing back the "episode where finn grows up" thing, i do believe that was intentional. bringing up the dungeon train was also intentional , which is a bit more obvious ! the dungeon train featured a young , more immature finn . before he "grew up" ! this episode has a more "mature" finn. a finn who can learn, and has learned, to rely a bit less on others. i'm not sure how much this episode is "finn growing up", but it feels kinda like "showing how finn has grown up." he thinks, he tries to figure things out, and eventually has no choice but to rely on himself ! it also , i think , showed finn's determination !! the "no more egress" line enforces that methinks , showing us finn's determination to never run from a problem. there's no escaping it , so he's facing it head-on. in general , it really shows you so much about finn's character that you may not have gotten to see / realized up until this point . it's an episode where you may realize "oh man. this isn't exactly the *same* 12 year old boy we started off with."

OH MY GOD ALSO , THIS ISN'T MY ORIGINAL THOUGHT BUT IT'S SOMEHTING I READ AND NEARLY LOST MY MIND WHEN IT WAS POINTED OUT ,,,,,, BMO !!!!!! is so important in this episode , for reasons other than i think it was them who said the whole "something's different" line !! bmo's childish , it's their entire character - heck , the ending of that episode where we meet mo points out that that's the POINT of bmo to an extent (emphasis on "to an extent" bc obviously there's more to bmo than "child") - and there's so much emphasis on that in this episode . bmo being a nervous little kid , like finn was at one point , and a part of finn that most likely will never leave . bmo serves almost like finn's conscious . like intrusive thoughts , almost ??? their asking so many questions , some of which are understandable , yet still ,,, their questions work to almost *try* and keep finn from changing . jake even plays into it , to an extent (and if i remember correctly.)

ALSO i think this episode has a lot of things people can personally relate to !! while maybe not everyone has had a particular moment where you realize "something's changed", when you think about it , you probably do realize it . there's also the confusion and even frustration of no one around you believing you , which i mean , i hope not many people experience , but it's unfortunately relatable at times . it doesn't mean those people don't love you or don't want to believe you but - aaaaaaahhdhfoasifn,,,, it just , showed how alone finn was . which is also , very much a relatable feeling .

#holy moly dude this brought out the hand flaps for real /lh /pos #also . i really like the line 'at the seashells center lies the cornucopias smallest door' but i have no idea what that means and #won't even attempt to analyze it . my analysis skills are awful SUNFOINGS #however i think i'm about to watch a video on it i found ...... yayayayyy #THANK YOU AGAIN this is probably very hard to read BUT THANK YOU #i feel like i could add more but honestly i dunno what to add ... this episode is just so good and aaaaaaaa /pos

[chaotic-toby]

So like, there's this thing that I can't find a name for and it's bothering me. I wanna know what's wrong with me, but whenever I try researching, I can't find anything. So please, for whatever deity you believe in, help mehhhh.

Okie so, it kinda started in 2nd or 3rd grade, I think? I would think of a question and answer it in my head, but it would be my own voice. Over time, I started asking those questions out loud, which helped me process the question, but I'll still answer them myself in the head, in my own voice. Eventually, that voice in my head sounded different. It turned high pitched. So, when I would ask a question and the voice in my head answered, it didn't sound like me anymore, it sounded like a different person. Again, it evolved. When I said something out loud, the voice would respond out loud as well, in that high pitched voice (from an outside perspective, it would look like me talking and then replying to myself in a high pitched voice). Eventually, it started to gain it's own personality. At first, it was kinda mean, telling me to do things that I didn't want to, but over time, she changed. I named her Voice (original, ik) and I guess naming her made her feel more real, but she liked the name. So, over the years, we got close. Voice is really nice. She helps calm me down, make decisions, and even forces my body to do something I don't want to (like kill a bug that I'm too scared to do). She basically parents me (me and the other voice likes to joke around and call her mommy bc she does act like a mother to me). And honestly, she keeps feeling more real, like I can feel her there in my head. I'm never alone.

The second voice is named Chihiro (yeah after the danganronpa character. It was only supposed to be a temporary name until me or Voice thought of another but it kinda stuck soo). Voice created her, after asking me for permission, to keep her company for the times where I can't really talk to her bc I'm around people or busy enough that I can't focus on talking in my head. Chihiro was created, I want to say around 1 or 2 years ago, and she is sweet. Her voice is kind of like Voice's, but way lighter and softer. She's basically the calm one, though under the influence of Voice, she has become a bit. . . unhinged at times. Voice is chaotic, immature, and sarcastic while Chihiro is sweeter, calmer, basically the baby of the. . . headspace? Idk. They are both very helpful and would never do anything to harm me. They help me when I'm panicking, worrying about something, school, and when my ex-step-father was trying to get me to do something (I'm not saying what it was) and everytime I came close to doing it just to get him off my back, Voice (Chihiro hadn't been created yet) told me not to. She's the only reason I never did what he asked me to, because she kept telling me that I'll regret it, and if I listened to him, he would only ask for more. She's the reason he didn't go further. After Chihiro was created and my ex-step-father did something (nothing sexual I hope), she and Voice comforted me afterward. They noticed that he was lying and comforted me, telling me to not listen to the garbage he was saying.

They've been there for me through thick-and-thin. They're the main reason I'm still alive, bc if I died, they would die.

The thing is, I don't wanna say that this is DID, because they don't take over. They're not alters, they have no control over my body (well, Voice can make me move a little but that's bc she's older ig) but overall, I'm still and always in control. I don't have amnesia. I remember my days. I don't wake up not remembering how I got there. Voice and Chihiro are just voices in my head, with their own personalities. They feel like extensions of myself. They like and hate the ae things as I do, but they have different personalities. Voice is snarky and sarcastic and Chihiro is nice and sweet and patient.

Which is why I'm confused about this. I see videos about people mentioning them having voices in their head and calling them a council, but when I try to look into it further, all I find it stuff about DID, but none of that matches what I'm going through. Again, they're just voices. They are not alters that take control of me.

If anyone finishes reading this long post, please help if you can. I've been curious for years

#mentally ill #mental health #mental illness #mental disorder #did osdd #idk #help plz #neurodivergent #neurodiversity #unspecified dissociative disorder #idk what to tag that will make people see this

[taeminsbug]

Sometimes I feel as if I’m the only one who is still taking this pandemic seriously.

#my sister was in contact with someone who has Covid and my sister tested negatively but she still has to self quarantine for the next 5 days #before getting tested again. and since I was in contact with my sister briefly I’m self quarantining too. and She was ALSO briefly in #contact with her roomates but they all decided not to self quarantine #and all of her roomates hung out with ppl today even tho my sister isn’t 100% in the clear and that means they ALSO arnt 100% in the clear. #like??? I think that’s just a little bit immature but I guess it’s whatever bc they are young and will survive it if they ever do get it🤪 #I hate it. AND THEN I had a friend ask if I wanted to go rock climbing with him today so I explained the situation and told him I couldn’t #and he asked if I wanted to go rock climbing next week like????? if Covid is being spread anywhere it’ll be at a rock climbing gym!!! idk I #guess it’s infuriating to see ppl my age take this like a joke. and I’ve hardly gone out since March unless it’s to a park by myself or #going to class. and I guess I have to be more careful in general bc I live with two 60 year olds but STILL young ppl can still spread it to #others who may be endangered. and i feel as a if I’m being too paranoid or a ‘Karen’ about not wanting to hang out with anyone WHICH IS #A STUPID WAY TO FEEL BC ITS A LITERAL PANDEMIC AND A DEADLY DISEASE but my friends. don’t care. at. all. and ppl on the internet don’t care. #at. all. and just feel as if I’m the only one who’s taking it seriously so then I feel as if maybe I’m taking it too seriously?? like wtf I #shouldn’t feel this way 🙃🙁

[radramblog]

What happened to Dirk in Homestuck^2?

Why am I doing this to myself.

I memed a little yesterday when I was posting that article around social medias about Homestuck jokes, because once again we are in lockdown and I am therefore Stuck at Home. Canned laughter goes here. But there’s a topic related to the comic- or more specifically, its aborted sequel, Homestuck^2, that I’m interested in delving into a little bit. I’m going to avoid talking about spoilers as much as possible, but considering said comic takes place not only after the events of the massive sprawl that is Homestuck but also the more linear but still messy Epilogues, some amount of sus shit is inevitable.

Anyway. Much maligned is what the Epilogues and 2 did to everyone’s favourite decapitation target, Dirk Strider, and I have a theory as to why it happened this way.

To begin with, let’s summarise what and who Dirk is through the course of the comics. Fair warning from me, though, it’s been a while since I read through this.

Dirk Strider is a teenager who grew up in a post-apocalyptic future Earth, completely devoid of physical contact with other people and only really ever gets to talk to 3 other people, only one of whom is in anything remotely resembling a relatable situation. He struggles with self-identity, having created numerous robots including an artificial intelligence based on his own brain, aka Lil’ Hal. He’s somewhat of a control freak, and a bit of a cold aloof asshole, but means well, and is pretty gay. NBD. The kinda guy to set up a plan meticulously and thoroughly, not informing any of the moving parts even if said parts are his friends, and often involving some form of self-sacrifice.

Throughout the comic he further reckons with self-identity problems and his own self-loathing including entering a relationship with Jake which doesn’t go well and he eventually breaks off since he knows his overbearing and manipulative behaviour is Not Cool and Pretty Toxic but doesn’t know how to shut it off. Eventually he reaches the God Tier as a Prince of Heart, gaining the power to literally annihilate souls, which he never actually uses since he gets yeeted into deep (Paradox) space and then everything goes to shit. Except none of that happens because of the Retcon (aside from the God Tier bit) and we don’t actually see how that shit progressed in the canon timeline. I think. Dirk’s arc, as it were, doesn’t really come full circle- while he does assist in Dave’s character…growth? he really isn’t the focus of that conversation. This immediately precedes the action climax and there isn’t literally any dialogue after that so that’s what we’re left with.

I like Dirk in Homestuck a lot. It’s hard not to, considering the flashes heavily featuring him (Unite/Synchronise and Prince of Heart: Rise Up) are genuinely excellent, along with many of his music themes being absolute bangers. He gets to interact with Caliborn a lot, with a pretty great banter, there, and the whole splintered personality thing is a really interesting hook for a character. I think he’s my favourite of the Alpha kids, a controversial pick considering I know everyone loves Roxy so much. I think, I’m not as in tune with the fandom as that statement implies I am.

And then the Epilogues/Homestuck 2 came.

Now I read the Meat half of the epilogues first, but that’s more interesting, so we’ll tackle Candy first (this is going to get real confusing for those who haven’t read this comic, huh).

In Candy, Dirk almost immediately kills himself, citing the irrelevance of the timeline as cause, an act considered by whatever mechanism governs God Tier deaths to be Just because he hates himself (and also bc of things we’ll get into), so it actually sticks. This isn’t super relevant for the discussion, but that’s just kinda so unbelievably fucked up? Entirely? I’d imagine if you read Candy first you might get entirely turned off by this, which I’m sure a lot of people did.

Meat is where the, well, meat of post-canon Dirk is. You see, a concept very quickly introduced in the tail end of the original comic is the Ultimate Self, an idea where you somehow encompass every different timeline iteration or alternate version of yourself. This was pretty clearly tacked on to make it so characters whose arcs all happened in the retcon timeline could have their not getting an actual arc explained away, but it didn’t land then and it sure doesn’t land for me now. Anyway, in Meat, Dirk becomes his ultimate self, making him near-omniscient and able to control the fabric of the story himself- for much of this story, he is the narrator. And he uses this power to fuck with all his friends really distressingly without their knowledge (or consent), including breaking up a marriage, in order to further his own goals which largely appear to be just keep the story going so to not fade out of relevance. It’s a plot that makes no sense with his previous characterisation, but I guess now that he’s the Ultimate Self he’s a different person? But I liked old Dirk, and I don’t like New Dirk. He’s a villain now, but he made a much better anti-hero.

But this would be fine if he (or the epilogues, or Homestuck^2) were written well. But they aren’t. Dirk’s dialogue is long, painfully drawn out, with tangents that tend to amount to pure wank, misused literary references and pointless metaphors that go on and on, filling the screen with a bright orange screed that hurts to look at as much as it does to comprehend. It’s not fun. And we’ve seen Dirk communicate before, obviously, the story of Homestuck is built around chatlogs, but it wasn’t like this. He was sarcastic, dryly witty, blunt at times. Even when he was literally talking to a different version of himself it didn’t get that masturbatory.

I was so confused about what the hell happened to Dirk, because I had no idea what the hell someone writing this character was thinking when they turned him into this. And then, the 21st page of Homestuck^2 dropped.

And it all came together.

What Ultimate Dirk and Terezi are referring to is Pony Pals: Detective Pony, a children’s book about some girls who hang out with ponies and solve a mystery. It’s a real book, buy it for your 5-year-old.

Except they’re not referring to that, they’re referring to the Homestuck Canon version of Detective Pony- a birthday gift from Dirk to Jane, heavily edited and to be much more obscene and eventually developing into it’s own story, stated to be “tough, emotionally draining, but cathartic in all the worst ways possible”.

Except the quote “Remember Longcat, Jane?” and references to philosophy, dead languages, and ancient earth culture aren’t referring to the three pages of the Dirk-edited Detective Pony we see in the actual comic itself. That quote doesn’t appear there.

That image is from Detective Pony, by Sonnetstuck- the 40,000 word fanfiction from 2014 that serves as a completed version of Jane’s copy of the book. An expansion of what we see in canon. And it’s a tough, emotionally draining read, but cathartic in all the worst ways possible.

It’s a very good fanfiction.

In the later bits of Detective Pony, we can start to see the origins of what would become Ultimate Dirk’s signature style of writing. Long blocks of rambling text, orange dripping down the page, references to philosophy and history and language that go on and on. And it probably does look familiar to those who read the Epilogues and ^2. 

But there are a couple of key differences here. First of all, it’s just better written? The way these rambles circle back on themselves is so excellent, the absolute absurdity of this being written on top of a pony book for little girls, the humour (beyond some of the more immature stuff), it’s just a really well-written piece of fiction. Hell, you don’t even need to be familiar with the character of Dirk to enjoy it. It’s a harrowing piece, but it’s also self-aware- because it’s not supposed to be tough, draining, cathartic etc. just for Jane- it’s clearly that for Dirk himself.

The second part is, of course, that this is a fanfiction. It’s not canon, it’s not official, this is by someone who really likes Dirk for people who really like Dirk. It doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things, so if you bounce off it (and I’m sure a lot did), then you don’t have to keep reading it, it’s fine, thanks for playing. As much as Homestuck^2 tried to doll itself up as “dubiously canon” it’s still the official continuation of the story, and that means if it’s as difficult to get into as Detective Pony, that’s going to be a problem for a lot of people.

The other part of it is that Detective Pony’s exploration of Dirk’s character is, well, in character. When the man himself steps in as a character in his own book, the explorations of what he is as an author, who he is as a person, make perfect sense for what we see of him at the start of the comic. He is that manipulative, blunt person, and he is aware of his faults. He’s the kind of person to hide a lamentation on his own failings inside an impenetrable maze of a story layered on top of a book about fucking ponies. Ultimate Dirk does not act like Dirk, outside of the “manipulator” angle, something that Dirk was aware of and trying to improve in the comic. But I guess people don’t have arcs, right?

It’s so interesting to see the seeds of Homestuck^2 laden within Detective Pony- because the meta angle that and the epilogues take is also represented in said fanfiction. While the nature of canon is a facet of the work, the idea of authors and narrators fighting for control of a story, different ideas in mind for the characters, one being more personally connected to them than the other, it’s all there. When I wrote about Fallout 4 in the past, I mentioned being worried that Bethesda took the wrong lessons from Skyrim- seeing something successful and trying to recapture that lightning in a bottle. I think Homestuck^2 is an extreme example of this- the writers of the comic saw Sonnetstuck’s masterwork and thought, yeah that’s great, we can do that. But they just can’t. And with the comic crashed and burning, the probably won’t ever get a chance to. Dirk is forever stuck as this amalgamation of himself that looks nothing like any individual version of him ever did.

At least we will still have Detective Pony, and many other excellent fanworks, for actually good Dirk content. I admittedly haven’t looked into much fanfic written during/post-epilogues, and I’m kind of afraid of what I’ll see- I can only hope the fanbase didn’t take the same wrong lessons as the official team did.

#ramble #honestly more of an essay #homestuck #homestuck 2 #dirk strider #ultimate dirk #just ignore me accidentally posting this to the wrong account and having to reup it

[luccislegs]

Do you have any nsfw/sfw headcanons for Katakuri, Shanks and Mihawk?

rises from the dead like the terrible admin i am i’m forgot to post lmao my b. no but seriously, just been really tired so. uh, smut under the cut.

general:

katakuri:

Katakuri isn’t openly affectionate at first. It takes him a while to really start displaying any physical affection. But he’s a very good listener. He even enjoys it if, while he’s doing paperwork or whatever, you come in and chat. He finds it a nice break in the tedium of running his mother’s empire.

After a while of being together, whether it’s an arranged, rushed marriage or you have time to get to know one another, he mellows out. He’s still a bit reserved about open affection in front of his siblings, since he does have a “reputation” to keep, but he isn’t going to actually complain if you crawl into his lap during a Tea Party or take his hand while you’re out strolling. And if you’re far too small to hold his hand, expect to be perched on his shoulder so the two of you can chat or even curled up under his scarf, if you can fit. He might be shy, but it reminds him that you aren’t ashamed to be with him. 

That being said, he makes up for his aloofness in public thoroughly in private. There’s a whole section of his home on Komugi Island that he allows only a few, extremely well-trusted people in, and there he shows his true character. Even if he’s only been gone a few hours or he’s seen you multiple times throughout the day, he’ll collapse into your arms, using your chest as a pillow and allowing you to run your fingers through his hair as you chat quietly.

He’s not big on grand gestures, but he’ll bring you home small gifts that catch his eye or have his bakers deliver something to you during the day, just to show you he’s thinking of you.

Obviously he’s pretty shy about his scars and his teeth, and he’s very sensitive about them. But the first time you see his face, he absolutely melts when you run your fingers over the former, trailing kisses down them. It bolsters his confidence a lot and you quickly learn he enjoys it when you caress his cheeks.

mihawk:

Like Katakuri, he’s not very openly affectionate, and even when he starts to display his affections, they’re very classy and reserved. Even in private, he can come off as cold. But he also isn’t going to push you away if you try to get some attention. Curling up in his lap while he’s reading a book or just hugging him from behind while he’s cooking will get you a soft chuckle and the question, “Are you feeling needy, my dear?” He knows he’s not the most open person, so he allows you those small things if you need them.

Sometimes, if he’s going to a warlord meeting and/or just out because he’s “bored,” he’ll bring you along. It’s actually really nice, just the two of you on the sea. Something about it makes him more open, and he’ll bring you to sit in his lap while the waves lap at the edges of the boat. During fights, if he decides to divulge, he’ll make sure you’re well protected, but knows you enjoy watching him in action. He’ll never admit it, but from time to time he really does get into fights just for that reason.

He’s really not about bringing home gifts. He’ll bring you small trinkets from time to time or maybe a new blanket if he’s really feeling it, but even if he’s been gone for days or weeks, he won’t generally bring you home gifts. That being said, he’s at his most voracious when he’s been gone from home for a while. It really shows how much he loves and misses you then.

shanks:

This man is a big flirt and a big cuddler. If he can do both, he’s even happier. As it is, he is always doing at least one or the other.

Tokens of affection from him come in the form of the most random shit imaginable. Sometimes it’s normal, like flowers or a cake from the local shop. Other times it’s a crossbow you can’t even lift or a bottle of some obscure alcohol he bought off a rando in an alley. Either way, he’s always very proud of his gifts, though he definitely gets certain things just to get a rise out of you.

His favorite thing to do-- and I say this loosely bc he doesn’t know it’s his favorite thing to do-- is get really drunk and seek you out. Oddly, he isn’t the type to get stupid drunk and just flirt with anyone. No, he’s the type of drunk that gets really, really clingy to his partner. If he can’t find you, he can and will sulk and pout until he either finds you or you find him. At that point, he’ll yell happily and tug you down into his lap and resume his casual drinking.

He doesn’t usually get hangovers. Being a professional drinker, he’s outgrown them for the most part. But when he does get them, he’s a baby about it and will whine if you get out of bed, even if it’s to get him aspirin and/or more alcohol (usually both). When you come back with it though, he’ll thank you happily and pull you down onto the bed again with one hand, already guzzling the drink down with the other.

smut:

katakuri:

He doesn’t have a lot of experience, but he does have some. Being so shy about his mouth and also as intimidating as he is doesn’t generate a lot of passion for him. So when you first sleep together, he’s naturally a little reserved. Constantly asking if you’re alright at the beginning. He’s worried about his size and his teeth hurting you so he’s slow and cautious. It ends up being you who has to push things further, riling him up until he stops worrying about your pain and starts worrying about your pleasure. Once he loses himself to it, he’s a very good lover.

Obviously he does still need to be careful about his teeth, especially when giving oral, so he takes that the slowest every time. It works out though, and he gets better at it over time. It’s also where he learns the joys or orgasm denial (which he’s really too sweet to use too much).

The positions you start out using are pretty vanilla until you open him up to the pleasures of quickie’s in his office, whether he’s got you bent over his desk or you’re riding him in his office chair, his large, gloved hands sliding up and down your thighs while he lets you do the work. You do have to work to coax him into it the first time because he’s worried about being caught, but after that it’s easy. Also Katakuri is probably a good candidate for cockwarming, especially in the office, once he gets over his nerves. When you crawl into his lap and slide him inside you, just sitting and teasing, talking, whatever you’re doing to him, he feels all his stress just fade into the background.

Food play. We all know it’s true and I should say it. He’s a bit hesitant at first but when he sees you covered in some of his favorite sweets one night when he comes home, he’s instantly hard. And don’t even get me started on eating a donut that’s around his --

He’s only really open to exploring kinks with a trusted partner, that being you. It’s only when you bring up trying out different things (food play, for example) in the bedroom that he starts to find out things he enjoys himself and asking if you would be willing to try.

mihawk:

Mihawk has a lot of experience. The man fucks and everybody knows it. Mostly it’s one night stands or short flings, until he meets a steady partner. Then all that experience really comes to the front.

Knows his kinks already. Knows what he likes and is actually really good at guessing what you’re into as well. His personal favorites are blindfolding and light bondage, usually tying his partner’s hands over their head and to the headboard.

Another big thing he likes is you wearing either one of his shirts or his hat, or both. Something about seeing you in the long white silk shirts makes him want to very slowly unbutton it while he leaves a trail of open mouth kisses down the newly exposed skin before sliding it slowly off your shoulders. There’s no excuse for the hat, it just makes him hard.

He’s very into exploring your kinks as well. He’s not a selfish lover by any means and so long as it doesn’t hurt you (too bad, at least) he’s willing to try them. If he doesn’t like them or he’s uncomfortable with them then he’ll tell you, but he isn’t going to deny you, he’ll just request to do them less.

He mainly likes making love in the bed, but if he’s up late or has just come home after being away, he won’t deny if you seek him out and ride him in his chair or he’ll just attack you wherever he finds you, pinning you to the wall and taking you roughly.

shanks:

Shanks is definitely the most open out of all three of them. He’s a bubbly and goofy lover, prone to making jokes and being immature in the middle of sex and making you burst out laughing. Sex with him is an adventure in more ways than one.

I’m not saying Shanks has a voyeur kink, but I am saying Shanks does not mind being caught fucking. Not necessarily for his partner with another person (which he would totally be down for it’s just not his main). He really just doesn’t care who sees him. He’ll have sex with you on deck in full view of another ship or port, in an open window, or on the beach just outside the reach of the light of the bonfire while his crew continues to party. Fingering you underneath the table in whatever bar you happen to find yourself in that night is a common occurrence. He is also not above you blowing him under said table.

In terms of kinks (besides the one above), he’s very relaxed and is willing to do whatever whenever. He doesn’t have any specifics until he decides he wants sex and then it’s just whatever he’s feeling that day. If you have any you want to try, he’s probably already tried it at least once and will guide you through it. Is also suspiciously good at guessing what you would be into but when you point that out he just says it’s “experience.”

Honestly a big advocate for threesomes. If he can have one, he will and really needs a partner who’s okay with that. He isn’t necessarily noncommittal, but he does at least like threesomes when the ship stops in port somewhere and you kinda have to be okay with that otherwise it won’t work.

#charlotte katakuri #charlotte katakuri x reader #dracule mihawk #dracule mihawk x reader #red hair shanks #shanks x reader #one piece headcanons

[bitchiha]

Can you please make HCS for sasuke, madara and hashirama (naruto too but I want to bother yo😢) and how they'll deal with their pregnant s/o? When the bump start to grow and their mood swings, weird food combinations and pregnancy struggles in general? Also when their s/o becomes 10 times more affectionate with them and is just soft and clingy. Thank you!💞💖💗

A/N: thanks for the request! I know I was a little slow getting to it but man I’m so swamped with life rn lol 😔 uhh also I swapped Madara out bc I felt like I didn’t make it accurate enough and so I physically couldn’t bring myself to post w his headcanons so I subbed naruto in

✎ Pregnant s/o!! (Sasuke, Hashirama, Naruto)

Sasuke Uchiha

!!I’ve done some headcanons for Sasuke + a preg s/o over here before, so His will be a bit shorter!!

He’s surprised when the baby bump actually starts showing because he didn’t actually believe he was going to have kid. So it really starts to settle in at that point.

Will make sure to be extra cautious around you to make sure nothing bad will happen to you or the baby. He’s in full force protective mode, of course he’ll play it cool but know that he’s got your back.

He’s used to his own mood swings, but when you start getting them he’s like?? What do I do? He’ll be tolerant asf though like you can call him every name in the book and then hug him five seconds later and he’ll just be there like: it’s apart of the process I guess. He can really keep his cool through a shocking amount of insults.

When he starts seeing you eating the weirdest food combinations he is confused, but he won’t say anything because he’s already experienced your mood swings and is not about to trigger them again by saying anything. If you offer him some he’ll just say no and back out of the kitchen, he doesn’t really need to get a snack.

Oh boy the clinginess. When it starts to happen he’s a bit shocked, but he assumes it’s apart of the process. (He assumes everything’s apart of the pregnancy process tbh.) I know he lowkey likes it, I know deep down he digs that clingy shit. Of course he won’t outwardly admit that, but the fact that he isn’t putting up a fight at you smothering his face is a good enough sign.

He will probably very sneakily get a book from the library about pregnancy instead of asking someone about it. Over his dead body would he ask someone like Hinata or Sakura about this stuff. So he consults a book, it was difficult bc some of the stuff he was shook to read about, but he managed to finish it.

Once the book’s finished he feels like he’s prepared for any pregnancy struggles you may have. Still somehow manages to internally flip his shit when something happens. He’ll try his best to help though.

Hashirama Senju

He’s so excited when he finds out that you’re gonna have a child together. Like a child of your own that you’ll both raise to be an amazing shinobi. Ugh he’ll be daydreaming about his kid until you actually have the child, then he’s in shambles, but that’s another story.

Will flex the fact that he is gonna have a child to anyone and anything in his path, which is kinda not a good idea. He also tightens security for the house just incase. He will be so protective bc he’s the Hokage and that makes you and the baby more vulnerable to possible attacks.

Probably yaps Madara and Tobiramas ear off because of how much he’ll talk about you and the baby. Like every five seconds he’s like “I’m having a kid lol” and tobiramas just like shut the fuck up (he’s happy for him tho.)

When he first sees the little baby bump he’s so fucking hyped. Like he’ll probably come up to you randomly just to place his hands on it. He’s like “that’s my kid in there wow.” Honestly he’s just so excited like that man is a ball of happiness.

He’s gonna be kinda shook about some of the pregnancy struggles. Like when you start getting mood swings he’s like so confused at first. He just figures it’s cause of the baby and so he’ll try and hug it out. You could have just called him a bunch of names and he’s just gonna be like “shut up let’s just hug it out.”

That usually does the trick and when it doesn’t, he’ll sneak out and let you fume for a bit before he comes back and tries again.

Enjoys the clinginess 100%. Like he loves it. Its a nice change from the bad part of the mood swings. While you’re cuddling he’ll play with your hair and have a hand resting on your belly. Then you’ll both talk about what you want to name the baby if it’s a boy or a girl, what you think they’ll be like, if they’ll have his eyes or you hair. (He prays they have his hair bc let’s be real it’s lucious asf.)

Like idk I feel like I need to emphasize the fact that he really does love the soft clingy side you’ll get. If he’s working a lot he will sometimes bring you to work with him, will let you lay on a couch in his office while he does his work.

He will have to refrain so hard from laughing at the weird cravings you’re having. Like if he walks into the kitchen and sees you eating some next level crazy meal he’s gonna need to back out of the kitchen and calm himself down. Then he’ll walk in and be like “hey honey, whatcha doing?”

Just because you knew he was laughing and what you were eating five seconds ago you’ll force him to eat it with you. Then he’ll be all like “I’m the hokage! I can’t get sick! Not like this, anyways.” Then he sees your face and he’s like: shit. So he ends up eating with you. Will pretend it’s good but he’s dying on the inside.

When you’re too tired to get out of bed some days he’ll definitely try his best to make you feel comfortable. Will use an earth style jutsu to put flowers around the room to entertain you while you’re in bed. He will also make your weird pregnancy craving meals for you while you’re in bed. And yes, he will laugh to himself the whole time while he makes it.

The closer to the pregnancy he gets the more he daydreams about your kid. He’ll get so excited and will think about all the things he’s gonna teach them.

Naruto Uzumaki

I feel like him and Hashirama would have similar reactions to a lot of things. Like when he first finds out about your pregnancy he is so hyped and will tell literally anyone. Thinks about his future kid all the time. Will probably suggest to name the kid after some type of ramen.

He’s the most immature about dealing with pregnancy stuff. Like I know I wanna give him the benefit of the doubt but.. let’s be real here he’s freaking out the whole time. That’s not to say he isn’t gonna try and be helpful though, like he will genuinely try his best to help. It just won’t end up the way he wanted it too.

Will ask Sakura about what the heck he’s supposed to do, she’ll probably be super helpful and will try and give you some weird special food pills to help you keep energized. Naruto will burn them when she leaves bc he knows those food pills are so gross, it’s the thought that counts I guess.

He also takes videos and pictures 24/7. He wants to make sure he documents everything. “Look, future baby! Your mom is having another pregnancy mood swing- ach! Did’ya see that? Your mom just tossed a shoe at me!”

When the baby bump starts forming he pokes it. Not harmfully, just like.. he wants to make sure it’s real. Like he’s actually having a kid, Crazy! Anyway, so after he pokes it to make sure it’s not fake, he’ll document the moment. “Hey future baby! Look, this is you. Inside there.” (Cue a vv gentle stomach poke)

The mood swings can entertain him sometimes and other times they can annoy the crap out of him. Like you’re crying one second and the next you’re yelling about the one time he forgot to pick you up for a date like three years ago. He’s really crappy at handling anything that have to do with mood swings. He’ll either be a doof about it or he’ll get offended. Then Sakura has to knock some sense into him.

He means well though, he’s still getting used to everything.

Don’t even get me started on how he reacts to the weird food cravings. Like sometimes he’ll lovingly tease the crap out of you for the weird things you’re eating or he’ll be excited and join in. Like you’re putting a scoop of peanut butter in your ramen? He’s grabbing the chopsticks! Will probably be sick afterwards.

The times when you are clingy are the best, he’ll drop whatever he’s doing so you two can just hang out. If that means you just want to lay in bed and sleep, then he’ll do it! Or if that means you wanna go on a walk, then he’ll do it!

Likes to spend as much time with you as possible. Just wants to make sure you’re okay and if you need him to do anything for you.

Overall 10/10 bc he may be a little bit of a goof, but he always means well <3

#naruto headcanons #naruto imagines #naruto uzumaki #naruto shippuden #hashirama senju #sasuke uchiha #Sasuke x reader #akatuski

[bisexualmaedhros]

okay idk if i want anyone reblogging this bc i don't want the General Tumblr Population ™ getting their hands on it, but like... is anyone else bothered by the way people treat the whole "anti" thing. i'll explain

i feel like distilling all of the discussion around those things into one single label ("anti" vs "anti-anti" or "proshipper" etc) has made a lot of the important things get lost in translation. the terms have been defined and redefined by so many people with their own very biased takes, that often these terms no longer mean anything practical to me.

for example, some people think of "antis" as people who are completely against artists exploring darker topics in any way, shape, or form, and who are dedicated to eradicating anything that isn't fluff from the internet. on the other hand, some people define "anti" as simply someone uncomfortable with pedophilic and/or incestuous ships. these are very different definitions for the same word, around which some very volatile discussions have been built. i'm inclined to be wary of people who firmly declare themselves "anti-anti" or whatever the fuck, but it can also be difficult to tell based only on that term if they mean 1) they ship things that make me uncomfortable, or 2) just think artists should be able to make art about complicated and heavy subjects.

i don't look too far into the whole debate because to be honest it's horribly draining, but i don't doubt there are people out there who call themselves antis and who really are just out to take down any kind of dark content whatsoever, regardless of how well tagged it may be. i guess what i'm saying is that i think there are a lot of people on both sides who concentrate more on the labels rather than the ideas themselves, so in some cases it's a little bit of a case of "making up a guy and then getting mad at him".

also, i feel like for some reason we've forgotten that there is a very well established history of people on the internet making troll accounts/posts pretending to be someone of a certain group, just so that they could make fun of said group and paint them as unreasonable. why do so many people forget that? i keep thinking back to that twitter account that was being shared a lot somewhat recently, that was basically a cartoonishly exaggerated portrayal of what some people think when they say "anti", of course with some good ol' aphobia and various other bigotries thrown in for good measure (why do you people spend so much of your time thinking about us and getting mad?). and so many people were eating that shit up, ready to believe it was real right away, possibly because it confirmed something they already believed. i know there are a lot of genuine batshit insane posts on the internet, but it seems a little like some of the anti/proship debate might be an extension of that. accounts like that one twitter are just an updated version of, say, the oppa homeless style post and others like it that birthed the image of the "tumblr sjw". someone might point out an artist's portrayal of a relationship between a 25 year old and a 14 year old seems to romanticize and ignore the abusive dynamic and they find it gross, and someone else might paint that "anti" statement as someone trying to "censor" art. and then they tell someone else that an anti is someone who wants anything they don't like removed from media altogether. obviously that ending statement sounds ridiculous, so it'd be easy to conclude based on that that "antis" must be irrational and overly sensitive; immature. but a lot of context is lost.

(also there's a lot to be said in the way of criticism ≠ censorship i think, but this post is already kind of long)

#basically take every post you see online with a grain of salt bc again. u don't know who's behind it or why they're making it #and also i think we need to be more specific than just throwing around these words that have become almost useless if we want to like #actually have any kind of meaningful discussion lmao #but of course this is the internet and many people are not interested in that. i know #but a guy can dream right #finielspeaks #also if u wanna reply to this/send an ask about it or whatever that's fine #i don't mind that and i'd like to hear people's thoughts #i just don't rlly want the post spreading to the wild wastelands of The Discourse #idk how coherent this is or if i worded things right so #if someone replies and it seems they've misunderstood i'll try and explain better

[misterbitches]

Dude yong jie’s character is literally unbearable this is like how not to write a vharacter 101

Our first intro to him is stalking, then PUNCHING someone in the LIVER bc the person he “loves” was fucking drunk and he blames his best friend? Then his mom is like “lmao actually um hes psycho” so anything they try to do retroactively like how they peppered in HIS DAD DIED A BLOO BLOO but previously it was also his OWN MOM going “im afraid he’ll lose his humanity” so not only was there no breathing room then it’s bumrushing him into their lives as best friends and it doesnt work. This dude sucks and he isnt even fun to watch. You know how breaking bad has one of the most abysmal main characters of all time but all of us were fucking ENGROSSED but the show made it clear that every enemy he faces, even the DEA, we want THEM to win (it is also a class analysis but woreva) so i am like wtf they show us literally nothing here. He’s just there. Wasting space and being awful. What is the purpose of his character in ssu’s life? Once you rape someone it is fucking over full stop but he didnt even fucking manage to start off in any compelling fucking way. Absolutely bonkers dude Esp bc theres at least a base moral code ie DONT HARRASS GIRLS UR “INTO” and thats why mei fang the absolute mad lad beaut was like “lmao nah i hate u”

Soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo?????????????????????????????????? WHERE IS THE WRITING HERE? WHAT IS THE SCRIPT? awhat is the PROGRESSION? This is such an insanely fucking dumb plo5 point i rly cannnnjnnntoeiwijshsgsgsgsgsgsgeggwiwowiw GORL

Lets talk abt the good things in the characters (theres none for yong jie hes just there being a little bitch)

Li cheng - himbo dumbass “manly” cutie and the manly stuff is fun cos it gets heaped on and yet every bit of him can be extremely “feminine” and jubilant. Great.

Muren - seems >:O but i rly like that hes actually pretty open in his own way. Side note: he is so thin and willow-y i rly loke tall pretty boys (and all women lmao) and he doesnt do it for me but He suits the character like his body and the way his character is. Also u gotta be weird and he is

Hsinng ssu (girl im never gonna learn how to spell their names it’s too much work cos the eng alphabet andnromanization is terrible) - mild mannered, good son, a homosexual confirmed confirmed g”(awesome!) great friend, good brother (and i guess his reward is being raped, great message!) and someone ppl like

The establishment of the three of them and their distinct personalities happens within minutes and then we meet

Yongjie - what about him? He may have an MI, okay, but we dont know for sure and oh gee that doesnt matter actually bc u have to get urself treated and also not be terrible. Not even psychopaths do the shit he does BC THEY HAVE TO GET HELP. Why the parents didnt get him help and are just realizing their son is terrible? Who knows . His purpose seems yo be “boy obsessed with brother like his actual brother” i dont care id they arent related in that way bc that’s not the fucking crux of incest and it is so insanely Fucked every thing to do with incest is almost always a disgusting powe r issue. WHAT PURPOSE DOES HE SERVE? WHAT DO WE ONOW ABOUT HIM OTHER THAN HE IS A FUCKING JERK AND AN IDIOT AND SUCKS AND I HATE HIM AND THAT HE WANTS TO STALK AND ATTACK THIS REALLY AWESOME FUCKING DUDE OK

There’s no returning point deom rhe line they croased byt theyb set him up for failure. Even in the fight hes a fucking cheater hes a goddamn immature rat they know he fucking sucks but he just sits there and waits for everyone else to move around him. A fucking selfish prick with nor edeeming qualities snd hes also a violent rapist stalker. Really great that thry have no clue how to make this dude actually have any humanity or likeability. Hes the man from 365 days basically except not even that hot and at least he kidnapped her but “WAITED” for “CONSENT” but in that movie’s world nothing mattered and it was bad and the point was to have a horny movie. But this show is for younger ppl and also IT HAS RULES AND IT KNOWS WHAT BAD ACTIONS ARE???? Soooooooooooooo in all these other dumb salacious books there seems to be just a mutual agreement that it’s fucked up but totally normal i their movie’s universee (it isnt and it is still just bad filmmaking)

Also it is up to yong jie to figure put how to get over it and understand that his brother is concerned for him. Bc it is. His brother. There’s a reason that incest is never advisable and thays bc there is no way in that situation that people aren’t somehow being coerced. There has to be a sort of split in the pursuer and the person being pursued bc one person is not thinking that way. (This is why people who find out they are related after the fact and havent grown up together is something thatms really unfortunate. They had no idea and they have to grapple with that but that is another scenario and it happens bc THEY DIDNT GROW UP TOGETHER.) i have experienced this from a (not immediate) fam member and i was the vulnerable one, had less powr, that is how it must go.

Thats why the power imbalance is scary and none of this is acceptable but it begs the question how did they get to this point? But the show doesnt even address that bc they cant bc theyre not original. And power imbalance does not mean automatic absolutely not territory. Theres things we dont like (in my casee i hate age gaps a lot) but i will avoid that.

I havemt seen “right or wrong” and i have no desire but from what ive garnered from ppl i like who liked that episode, the show outlined the moral issues with it. Idk if they did it in a way i would have preferred (again no desire) but at lesst from what ive heard it...tries? Idk i dont see the need for these if they dont give us a reason why these ppl should be together and there’s several lines that cannot be crossed that were. Basically it’s like stockholm syndrome now and there’s no choice for him, it goes beyond power imbalance and “legality” so to speak and now it’s just entrapment.

Theres not even avoiding or enjoying. Even for MODC as stupid as i found the secondary rship and negligent even like ok. Fine. Whatever. His boyfriend is 100 but at least it was semi agreed upon. It is what it is, go forth. I will criticize it but at least it was the story and as stupid and gross as i think it is and they will probs break up (idc what the show says) at least there are set ups that can make us see “why” it works and oh, gee, their whole rship relies on a different fucked up but at least at some point it could possibly be transcended. The foundation of youngjie is “rape entrapment and aw now they are in lvoe” BITCH NOOOO???? Where is the REASON? And why should we root for them? (There is none and when the Thing happens it is now impossible for that not to be absolutely foundational to their rship lmao and that is never something that goes away.)

I would like to say theres nothing romantic int he flashbacks i know thats what theyre trying to twll us but the actor is 30 and that child is like 8.

Im not missing the point bc i see it with my eyes and it sucks. If you cant even write the character well then how do you interest something heavy and work out the links? The only solution is yongjie dying i mean fucking off forever and hsing ssu not letting him into his lifeXni doubt we will get that but at the very least they cannot end up together and that will be their crowning fucking achievement over the waste of time bullshit plot this was. Imagine actual conflict that wasnt so deeply fucking traumatic and, oh, again WHERE ARE THE PARENTS? They fucked up SO FUCKING BADLY. This gives people the wrong idea about how these things work. God he is truly a shitty character and his ass isnt even fat so wtf bitch why am i here!

#history 4: close to you #history 4 #a thot #god my anxiety was thru the roof turns out i needed to eat

[logical-little-lies]

{Chapter Three- Not A Baby}//Soft, Cute, and Far Smarter Than You (Sanders Sides Agere/CGLRE)

A/N: Before we begin with this chapter, I want to show some art that @english-chips made for this fic! The first one is inspired by the last chapter, logan the science kid!

And this next one is based off of Teenspace!Logan (which is officially introduced in this chapter). Don't ask about the braces, that gets tied into the story later.

Anyways, enjoy the chapter!! feel free to leave comments/send asks (Wattpad/Tumblr) with any questions you have or your reactions+thoughts on the chapter/story in general! I also wanted to credit the people from my discord server for a lot of the ideas used throughout this fic, so I will probably be repeating this a lot bc they’re creative and help me a lot when it comes to this story!

--

"I mean, I personally only really go to baby and toddler ages. From less than one to five. But you're still figuring your range out, right?" Virgil was talking to Logan as they washed the dishes. Virgil and Logan were getting into the habit of mentioning age regression related things in normal conversations, so they could normalize it even when they weren't in the headspace.

"I guess so. There's sometimes where I don't feel little, but I'm not exactly an adult either? I don't know how to explain it." Logan was honest with him, taking the plate he handed to him and putting it into the dishwasher.

"Maybe you're a middle?" Virgil suggested.

"Middle?" Logan repeated him, a confused tone laced in his voice.

"A middle is someone who regresses to pre-teen and teenage ages. It's still regression by definition as long as it's younger then your bio age," Virgil explained, rinsing out a bowl before handing it to him.

"I didn't know that was a thing. I sorta thought age regression was just baby, toddler, and young kid. I never really considered the fact that people might regress to an older age then that..." he trailed off.

"I don't know a ton about middles, or middlespace, but I know that some just find comfort in acting younger. That doesn't always mean a cute baby voice and stuffed animals, that can mean video games and they're old favorite books. Whatever makes you most comfortable." Virgil shrugged, using a sponge to scrub at a plate.

"That's kinda cool, actually. Um...anyways, what did you do today?" Logan changed the subject, keeping the term in mind. The idea that he could regress, but just to teenage years, made sense to him. He felt as if he might've been in that headspace before.

He'd want someone to look after him, but only to a certain extent. He'd be moody and get frustrated easier, he would want to indulge in old dorky hobbies, like video games or reading comic books. When he got like that, he told himself he was just being immature, and that he wasn't little, because it wasn't the same feeling. But now, knowing that regressing to teenage ages was a thing, he'd have to rethink things and maybe let himself indulge in this new feeling.

Not bad, just different.

--

"Good morning, Logan!" Patton knocked on Logan's door, waiting to hear a reply before opening it.

"Morning, come in." he remarked simply, seemingly distracted by something.

"Virgil isn't little right now, but as always, I just wanted to check up on you to check if you were." Patton closed the door behind him, coming over to Logan's bed and sitting down.

"I'm not little," he replied quickly, flipping a page in whatever he was reading. Upon closer inspection, it was a comic book. When Logan saw Patton looking at it, he shut it and pulled it closer to him. "Can you get out of my room? I'm busy." he said, speaking in a very annoyed tone.

Patton looked shocked, and a bit hurt. "Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah, I'll leave. Um, breakfast will be ready soon, let me know if you need anything..." he got up, going to leave when Logan spoke.

"Sorry for being rude, or whatever. I didn't mean to make you sad." he promised, speaking softer and in an apologetic way.

"It's alright, Logan. Are you feeling okay?"

"Why wouldn't I be, I'm fine?" he questioned.

"You're acting a bit..different? It's not bad!" Patton defended quickly before explaining himself, seeing Logan's skeptical look, "You're just...acting younger? But not quite little, y'know?" he tried to explain what he was thinking, but it was difficult.

"Patton! Come help me do this!" Roman called Patton from the kitchen before Logan go the chance to respond. Maybe Logan should've told his carer that he had a teenspace before going into it. Right after he heard about it from Virgil, connecting the dots was easy. So letting himself do what he wanted, and act slightly 'immature' was easier, because he knew it wasn't some weird thing. It was just a part of his personal regression.

But just because he accepted it himself, didn't quite mean that he wanted to explain it to his caregiver. Once Patton was gone, he made a motion with his hand and the door slammed shut.

You'd think he wouldn't break his own rule, but a lot of things you wouldn't expect were happening recently. Logan made a rule for the core sides, avoid using powers (both summoning and physical) because apparently it made them more "realistic". He had claimed that if they lived a life that was closer to an actual persons, in a mind palace designed to mimic the real world, they'd understand Thomas's problems and emotions more.

Roman hated those rules, and the fact that creating the realistic town and staying there sort of made it so that he couldn't escape to the mindscape for fantasy adventures. Logan even went so far as to make it so they got a limited allowance each week, as pay for doing your job for Thomas. Big Logan managed this whole system, but he said that if they just continued to be able to buy things without limited money, there was no point in trying to live more like people.

He groaned, shutting the comic book and abandoning it on his bed. He went over to his closet, looking inside of it for something to wear. Some things were to adult, and some things were to childish. He didn't have anything for in between, and that was frustrating. He almost considered summoning something for himself, when he was actually fourteen, they still lived in their separate rooms and just summoned things they wanted or needed.

He knew that he shouldn't, if he starts breaking his own rules regularly, then everyone else will and it'll be chaos. He looked through the part of his closet that had pajama shirts. Most of these were random t-shirts with graphic designs that adult Logan would never wear in front of the others (without the excuse of "it's an old shirt that I kept for sleeping."). He found a dark gray shirt that said "Game On", with a white game controller on it. He deemed it acceptable and he tossed it over to his bed, looking for jeans to go with it.

"Aha!" he cheered when he finally found simple dark blue jeans, taking the outfit and disappearing into his bathroom.

--

"You said that he's acting weird? Is he small and trying to hide it?" Roman suggested, passing Patton a plate to set on the table. Virgil was serving the food, dividing it between their plates.

"No, I don't think so? He said he wasn't little, but he just seemed really annoyed and...I don't know." Patton seemed confused, taking the cluttery Roman handed him and going around the table, setting it down. Patton was the one who suggested that they start eating breakfast, along with other meals together when possible. It was common that someone would skip out on famILY meals, but that didn't meal he wouldn't put the effort in  to made the meals for everyone.

"You think he's just stressed and he needs to regress?" Virgil spoke up, setting a bottle of syrup on the table.

"I don't think he was stressed, just annoyed."

No one got the chance to reply because Logan came down the stairs, clad in a dorky t-shirt, dark blue jeans, and a beanie. Virgil seemed to have a realization upon seeing him.

"Hello?" he broke the silence after a few seconds, "Why is everyone staring at me?"

"Oh, um..." Patton spoke first, trying to come up with an excuse.

"Did I walk in on you guys talking about me?" he immediately questioned with suspicion.

"pshh! No, surely not!" Roman lied, Logan giving him a look.

"Hey, Logan? How old are you, like mentally, right now?" Virgil asked hesitantly, Patton seeming confused.

"He already said that he wasn't little?" he restated, looking over at Logan, who blushed a bit.

"I never said that I wasn't regressed at all..." he trailed off, stratching the back of his head awkwardly before looking at Virgil. "And um, fourteen." he replied quickly, shuffling over to the table and taking a seat.

"Oh! Why didn't you tell me that when I asked you if you were little?" Patton asked, taking his seat next to Logan.

"Because I'm not little. Little is like, baby and toddler, y'know? I'm just...not an adult for now." he explained, not looking at his caregiver much.

"Oh...I didn't even know your range went that far, sweetheart." Patton seemed to be processing this, lightly grabbing his fork as Roman and Virgil took their seats.

"Sorry I didn't tell you, Dad." he apologized quickly, starting to eat his food.

Patton smiled, both from the fact that Logan called him "dad" while he wasn't six years old, and as a source of comfort. "It's alright, Lo." he assured. Logan gave him a little awkward smile, going back to eating.

"So...what is everyone planning on doing today? I'll probably work on brainstorming for Thomas's next project." Roman tried to start a conversation.

"I'll probably just chill, I finished the work I had to do yesterday." Virgil replied, looking to Patton and Logan to talk next.

"I might play video games, or watch something. I don't know," Logan shrugged a bit.

"Have you ever really been in teenspace before? Do you know what you want to do?" Patton asked in curiosity.

"I..um," he paused, thinking. "I kinda have been before, but I thought it was weird so I pushed it down..."

"Regressing to teenage ages is not weird, at all! I actually think it's fitting for you, because you can regress without having to be babyish, which is what you're most shy about when you do go little!" Patton immediately defended, Logan holding back a small smile.

"I knowwww, but I thought this was just me being immature. Not like, a part of my regression. It feels different then when I'm a toddler or a kid." he explained, seeming like he didn't want to be talking about this. He'd felt like a teenager, and addressing the fact that he was simply just thinking like one made him second guess him choice to allow himself to go into that headspace.

"Okay, okay. Would you like me to spend the day with you, sweetheart?" Patton offered. Logan quickly shook his head in rejection.

"Nope, I'm good. Actually, I'm gonna head back to my room now." he scooted his chair back, standing up before pushing it in.

"Bye, Logan!" Roman called after him. Logan didn't respond, but you could hear his door shut from upstairs. Patton simply pushed his plate forwards, putting his head down on the table in his arms.

"You good there, padre?" Roman questioned.

"I'm fine, kiddo." he replied weakly.

--

"Hey, kiddo! I just wanted to check on you," Patton knocked on Logan's door, opening it after a few moments. Logan wasn't on his bed, so he shut the door and found the boy at his desk. There was sort of a dip in the wall where his desk inserted, perfectly fitting. There was white shelving above the desk, with mostly books on it. Under the desk, there was a portable dresser with black and gray drawers.

He was watching youtube on his laptop, leaning back in his office chair with headphones on. Patton realized Logan didn't hear him, tapping on his shoulder. Logan flinched, quickly pulling his headphones off. "Helloooo? What's up?" he questioned, reaching forward and pausing his video.

"I just wanted to check on you, that's all." Patton replied, coming closer to him and standing behind his chair.

"Well, I'm fine. Just watching youtube," he shrugged, motioning to his screen.

Patton read over the channel name, along with the video title. "Markiplier, who's that?" he asked.

"Just a youtuber, dad. Do you need something?" Logan reached forward, shutting his laptop and looking up at Patton.

"Not really. I just wanted to know what you've been up too,baby."

"I'm not a baby." Logan replied simply, sounding a little annoyed.

"But you're my baby," Patton teasingly. Logan's face went pink, and he gave a mostly-playful glare. Patton was glad he was getting him to be playful to some extent, because so far it felt like Logan just wanted to isolate himself while in this headspace.

If he was going to be Logan's caregiver, he wanted to know at least a little bit about how Logan acts in each part of his headspace, so he knows how best to care for him. But it currently seemed like Logan didn't want any care.

"No, I'm a teenager. Not a babyyy," he whined, not in a baby voice, but in a 'dad you're embarrassing me please stop' type of voice.

"Yeah, yeah, okay. I'll stop teasing you." Patton smiled at him. Logan crossed his arms, but both of them knew he wasn't actually upset.

"Are you sure you don't want to go watch a movie in the living room or something? You said you might play video games, I know you can't do much on your laptop." Patton was silently pleading to spend some time with him, but Logan shook his head.

"I think I'll stick with Markiplier vids. But I'll see you at dinner!" he reminded, which did cheer Patton up a bit. Patton nodded.

"Alright, Littl-" Logan gave him a look, "Not little. Uh, bye Logan!" he corrected somewhat awkwardly, leaning down to kiss Logan's forehead quickly before leaving. Logan rolled his eyes, slowly opening his computer back up. He pressed the space bar button, and readjusted his headphones on his ears before leaning back in his seat.

Maybe this wasn't so bad after all.

--

"Dinner's ready, baby." Patton peeked his head into Logan's room, to see him watching something on Netflix at his desk.

"Kay, Dad. I'll be down in a sec," he replied, without missing a beat. "Also, not a baby."

"Alright, sorry Lo. Just head down soon, okay?"

Logan nodded,already starting to pause his show and log out of everything. Patton gave a slight smile, leaving his door open and heading back down stairs.

"So...how's teenage Logan?" Roman asked quickly as he came downstairs, already sitting down for dinner. Virgil looked at Patton.

"He keeps getting embarrassed when I call him baby. But I think he's good, he seemed pretty content with just hanging out in his room and doing whatever." Patton replied, pulling out his chair to take a seat.

"Oh, Logan! Hey!" Roman called when he saw Logan entering the kitchen. He held his phone in his hand.

"Hey. What are we having?" he asked, pulling his chair out and sitting next to Patton, as usual. He glanced down at his phone screen and tapping it a few times. Virgil came and sat some containers on the table. "Oh, spaghetti. Question answered."

"Can you put your phone down at the dinner table, sweetheart? Dinner is time for us to spend time as a family," Patton tapped his shoulder softly, instructing him to turn it off. Logan rolled his eyes, shutting off his phone and hovering it an inch above the table before dramatically dropping it. The attitude wasn't appreciated, but at least he listened.

"So..Logan, what did you do today?" Roman asked after a few moments of silence, reaching forward to server himself some food. He grabbed a piece or garlic bread at Logan started to respond.

"I watched Youtube and Netflix." he replied, quickly loading his plate with food. He seemed somewhat tense, like he wanted to leave.

"That's cool! What did you watch on Youtube and Netflix?" Virgil asked. Virgil was picking up on Roman's tactic of asking simple questions to hopefully start a conversation.

"Markiplier and The Floor is Lava." Logan kept going like this to every curious question they had, responding in short sentences before going back to eating. Soon enough, his plate was clear and he attempted to leave.

"You didn't even ask to be excused, young man. Sit back down." Patton instructed, Logan immediately listening and sinking back into his chair.

"C-can I go?" he asked, looking at Patton with a nervous look now. He didn't mean to upset him, he just wanted to go back to his room and be by himself again. This was a new headspace for him, and being around other people for long periods of time made him anxious. What if he did something stupid? What if they thought he was weird?

Patton didn't mean to scare him, so he softened up his face before talking again. "How about you tell us about your day, sweetie?"

Logan shifted from nervous to annoyed in maybe two seconds. "I've already told you everything! I watched Netflix and Youtube. There's nothing to talk about, dad!" he snapped, grabbing his phone from the table. Patton's eyes went wide, he definitely did not expect Logan to snap at him.

"Hey, kiddo..." he spoke softly to the annoyed regressor, who just want an escape. Logan took a few breaths while Virgil and Roman watched in silence. Patton hesitantly put his hand on Logan's arm in a simple attempt to comfort him. "Why don't you just walk me through what you did after breakfast, whatever you remember?" Logan looked at him now, nodding. He seemed a bit nervous, he did not mean to snap or shout or anything. But it seemed as if Patton wasn't upset with him.

He thought back to that morning, beginning the story. "So I went up to my room after breakfast. I read comic books for a little bit, and then-"

"What did you read about?" Roman interrupted. This didn't seem to annoy Logan, just shock him. He wanted to hear about whatever dorky comic book he had read? The last of dinner went on like that, Logan walking through his day up until the meal, and the other three inturrupting to ask curious questions.

Logan would go on side rambles about whatever it was. A question as to what The Floor Is Lava was about lead him into a ramble about how the game works. But no one else minded, because learning about this part of Logan, neither a baby, nor completely big, was really nice. Every few minutes, he'd stop his rambling, and ask if someone else wanted to talk.

But every single time, they'd share a few thoughts and assure that they didn't mind his excited rambling. He revealed that he also watched documentaries and information youtube videos, so he started sharing a bunch of random facts.

The anxiousness, the awkwardness, and even the extreme want to go away, faded as they encouraged him to keep dorkily discussing his favorite teen-ish things to do.

They hoped teenage Logan would come back again sometime soon.

#ts agere #logan agere #littlelogan #lillogan #little logan #middlespacelogan #middlelogan #middle logan #teenage regressor logan #cg patton #cgpatton #logicality slowburn #logicality agere

[apenapaperandadoofus]

PLEASE SHARE IT. PLEASE, I NEED IT.

ASK AND YA SHALL RECIEVE

Keep in mind I was about 12-13-ish when I wrote it and I was in my angsty stage so this gets a bit dark pft

here are the first 2 chapters -there are like 9 in total I think- if ya want the fnaf one then tell me bc I actually have to translate it and everything bc I wrote it in Spanish lol 

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TW mentions of abuse sorta and alcoholism

"Come back here you lil' shit!!!"

"I'll kill ya, I swear to God I'll kill ya!!!"

I could hear him behind me, stumbling and crashing into things, with that stupid glass bottle in his hand.

I have to keep going or he will really kill me. I kept running zig-zagging through the trees trying to lose him.

"You little fuck!!! How dare you run away from me after all I've done for you?! I was the one that gave you a roof under your head, the one that fed you and took care of you and THIS is how you repay me?!"

Yea right. I'd rather be in the streets than have to live with you in that damned house again. C'mon (Y/N) you're almost there!!

"I'll do the same thing I did with them to you!! You'll end up like all those kids, like all those dirty bastards!"

CRASH!

A flash of lightning crashed behind me.

Keep going, keep going.

Suddenly, as I keep climbing up I see something.

A cave.

Yes!! Now I can finally get rid of him! I quickly started climbing, finally getting into the cave. It was really chilly, but it would at least protect me from the rain, and since it was nighttime and he was drunk he'd have no chance of finding me.

Or that's what I thought.

"Ahh, there you are my dear (Y/N)~ You are quite slippery you know? You remind me so much of her, my little Frisk. But you both had to escape from me didn't ya. Do you know what happened to Frisk dear?"

He chuckled and came closer, while I was walking backward trying not to stumble.

"I killed her." He smiled. " It was an accident, I didn't want to, but she was being a naughty little girl~ [EW WTF WHY DID I WRITE IT LIKE THAT LMFAO GREAT WAY TO MAKE HIM CREEPY AF AMANDA]" he came closer, and the smell of booze reached my nose.

"G-get away from me you creep!"

He laughed and pushed me, making me stumble and fall down. I tried to crawl away but then he started kicking me.

IM ALSO NOT PUTTING THIS PART BC IT WAS CROSSING THE LINE A BIT AND I WANTED TO MAKE IT DARK ANYWAY THE THING IS THIS SHIT ESCALATED REALLY QUICKLY AND I GASPED BC HOLY SHIT WHAT WAS WITH ME

Basically, he said more creepy shit bc I wanted to make him a huge asshole, but I still don't feel comfortable putting it and I'm sure for other ppl its uncomfortable too so uh, lets just say the guy was just really really bad and wanted to do really bad things to uhh, the reader 

This, this guy had the nerve to- ugh!!

"S-stop it"

He quickly grabbed me by my hair and brought my face closer so we were locking eyes.

"Y'know no one cares about you! You're nothing! But if you stay with me you'll see I can be a good guy! I promise I  will treat you better! I will do anything for you. You just have to be a good girl and stay in your room."

"No!!"

I quickly spit on him and kicked him in the stomach. I was not going back there, not going to suffer through all that again. I got to my feet and ran deeper and deeper into the cave

"You can't escape (Y/N)~" I heard from behind me.

I ran faster. I'm not going to let him win. I'm not.

" You'll just end up like Frisk!"

Crash!!!

I yelped and tripped on a vine, falling into a hole, hearing his echoed taunts getting farther and farther away.

Is this it?

Is this how I die?

Will I really end up like Frisk?

No.

I won't die. I can't die. Not today.

Those were my last thoughts before I was surrounded by darkness.

Chapter 2 [this one is more fun  I lol]

"You little bitch!"

"Come back here!"

"You'll end up just like Frisk"

"I promise we'll get out of here....

Frisk"

I woke up with a start. My head dizzy from the fall.

Where...am I? Who's Frisk? Why can't I remember anything...? Hold on, did I loose my memory? What the-

"Heck!!" I heard someone say behind me. I quickly turned around, and saw a kid who looked to be around my age, floating a few feet away from me. Their hair was up to their shoulders and they were wearing shorts with a cute green stripped sweater.

"Seriously?! And just when I get used to being dead?! Do you hate me that much world!?" The kid yelled while waving their fist at the top of the cave.

Huh.....

Wait.....

Dead?

Am I dead?

If so where the heck am I?

Is this what the afterlife is like? Being stuck with a 10 year old ghost kid? Is it because of that one time I stole a ring pop from John? Because if it is he totally deserved it, he wasn't even gonna eat it!

"Am I really dead..?" I whispered.

Suddenly the ghost kid turned around and looked at me.

"Wat?" They asked.

"Am...am I dead?" I looked at my palms trying to figure out what was going on.

The kid sighed.

"No. You're not dead you dummy, you just fell down into the Underground, and somehow that awoke me...huh... that's weird."

Oh. So I'm not dead. That's nice I guess.

"Um, wait, the Underground?" I stood up, and stretched a bit, trying to check if everything was alright.

"Yea. With monsters and stuff. You just fell down from Mt.Ebott. You'd be the second human here to fall down."

Wait. The second one? I thought six more had disappeared in here a while ago.

"You mean the seventh human." I corrected them.

"Noooo, I mean the SECOND human, jeez are you deaf or something?"

They glared at me as if I was the dumbest person they had ever met.

"Nuh-uh. If there's one thing I remember is that 6 humans had fallen before me"

"Well then you remembered wrong because last time I checked I was the only one. That fall must've really damaged your brain" they chuckled.

I rolled my eyes. They really were stubborn and they were pretty rude too! If it were up to me I would've walked away by now but since I am down here somewhere I don't know with MONSTERS, I should really have an ally and they seem to be my only hope. Maybe they're nice once you get to know them, so I should really try to befriend them.

"So uh, ghost kid...what's your name?" I looked at them with a sweet smile, trying to be friendly.

"My name is Chara. And I was the first human to fall down here. What's yours?"

"My what"

"Your name, you idiot. Don't tell me you forgot that too." They smirked.

"Pshh I didn't forget my name!" I puffed my cheeks and looked the other way. I honestly had no idea what my name was but I wasn't going to let that ghost kid treat me like a dumbass again.

"Fine then, what is it?"

Shoot.

"U-um i-its uh..."

Let's seeeeee... what's a good name? Oh jeez what are some good names I could use right now?

As I was panicking suddenly something came to my mind.

"Frisk." I said.

I have no idea who Frisk is, but it felt just right. And it was the first thing that popped into my mind so.

"Oh. That's a peculiar name. But we'll then, Frisk. What are you going to do? Do you want to go back to the surface?" They eyed me with curiosity. I honestly had no idea what I would do. But I just had this urge to go back to the surface. But there was nothing up in there for me was there? I mean maybe I had a family or something's that's looking for me right now. Or maybe I could just be a homeless nobody.

"Do you promise me we'll get out of here?" "Yes. And we'll go and look at the stars in a field of golden flowers, like the ones in your book. It's a promise."

"I want to go back up."

That seemed to get Chara's attention.

"R-really? You want to go back up there? With those assholes?" They scoffed.

"Yep. I just feel as if I have something important to do over there. Like a promise."

"Ah...well, if you want I can show you the way! We can go meet these monsters, they took care of me while I was in here! They could help you!" They smiled and started going ahead of me.

"Uhm, sure, I guess! That'd be cool!" I said as I started walking behind them. If I manage to get those monsters' help, I'll be out of here and try to get my memory back and fulfill my promise.

CRINGY I KNOW BUT WERE GETTING TO THE PICKUP LINES AND THOSE ARE HILARIOUS IN A BAD WAY LMAO MAYBE I CAN LATER POST THE OTHER CHAPTERS PFT

Chapter 3 

"So uh..Chara..will these people have food?" I asked while walking behind them.

"Food?" "Yup" "You're stuck in a place full of monsters and all you can think of is food?"

Before I could answer though, my stomach let out a loud growl. I giggled.

"I guess that answers your question."

We became quiet again until Chara turned around and looked at me.

"So how old are you?" "I'm about to be twelve" "You're pretty mature for a twelve year old" they scoffed. "Well you're pretty immature to be whatever age you are." Chara laughed.

"I'm thirteen. So that basically means you have to do everything I say since I'm the older one" they stuck their tounge out.

"That's not fair!" I proclaimed. "The world isn't fair." The smirked. "Your face isn't fair"

"Damn, Frisk, you got me" they said with mockery.

"Shut up"

They laughed and then looked at me with a serious expression. "No but really, if you want to survive here you'll have to listen to me or else you'll die. And if you abuse the SAVE point it'll stop working. If you loose determination too."

"Woah. Wait what? A save point? Determination? I am really confused right now"

"Ugh, I'll explain later. Right now we have to get to the RUINS."

"Is that were you lived when you were stuck down here?"

"Tch, why do you care? And I wasn't stuck. I lived here because it's the only place were murder isn't the first option and monsters aren't assholes."

"Hey, stop being so rude, I just want to find out more about you! I really want us to have a good relationship if you're stuck with me for a while!"

"Just mind your own business."

"Ughh you're so-"

I suddenly stopped walking when I saw a single gold flower in the middle of the path.

"Why'd you sto- ohh that's creepy."

"It's just a flower. It won't do anything."

I kneeled down to look at the flower better, for some reason this flower looked different than all the other ones.. I was about to reach out for it when all of a sudden the flower turned around and smiled at me.

"Howdy! I'm Flowey! Flowey the Flower!"

What. The.

This flower could talk?! What?!

"Oooook Frisk this is definitely creepy, don't touch it and walk away."

I ignored Chara and smiled at the flower. They seemed friendly, so why not?

"Hey there! I'm, um, Frisk. I'm new around here."

Flowey noded and smiled at me.

"Oh! So since you're new you probably don't know how the Underground works! I guess lil' old me will have to teach you! Ready?"

"Frisk I'm not really getting good vibes from this guy." Chara said again, this time a little bit more serious.

"Shhh" I stood up and looked at Flowey, nodding.

"Thank you Flowey!! You're really nice! So how does this all wo-?" Suddenly I was being surrounded by darkness, with Flowey standing in front of me.

"Where is-" I suddenly stopped talking when I saw a red...heart? In front of me.

"See that red heart over there?" Flowey asked me.

I nodded.

"That is your SOUL, the very culmination of your being!"

"Woahh, that's so cool!"

"Your soul starts off weak, but it can get stronger if you gain a lot of LV."

Suddenly Chara appeared beside me and shook their head.

"Frisk I don't think he-"

"Frisk! You may be asking: Flowey, what does LV stand for? Well, for LOVE of course!!"

Oh. I guess in here is not that bad if their policy is like the place where the Carebears live.

"Fris-"

"You want some LOVE don't ya? Well don't worry! I'll share some with you."

After he said that a few white pettals appeared in front of Flowey. I guess that's how you get some LV right?

"Frisk, I'm serious right now, do not touch the bullets."

I looked at Chara.

"Thanks but what bu-"

"DOWN HERE" Flowey yelled to get my attention. I turned to look at him with a nervous smile, he just rolled his eyes and kept talking.

"LOVE, is shared through some....little...white... friendliness pellets!"

Ok. Now that was definitely suspicious. And where those the bullets Chara was talking about before? Jeez this guy really got me, but I mean. He's a flower why in the world would he kill me?

"Are you ready Frisk?! Catch as many as you can!" Then, the...white friendliness pellets, started moving towards me. How in the world was he doing that?! This place is so weird, filled with talking flowers and dead kids suddenly becoming alive again. I just want to go home!

"Frisk!! Watch out!!" Chara yelled beside me.

"What?"

I looked at Flowey and saw the pellets getting closer to me. Before I had the time to dodge they got me and I felt a huge amount of pain. I fell to the ground on my knees, gasping for air, trying to make it go away.

What was happening?! I quickly looked behind me when I noticed that the yellow bar that was once full, was suddenly empty. It said 1/20.

Chara rolled her eyes.

"You dummy! Those were bullets! And to even top it off you have literally one hp left!"

"One hp...? Wait Chara what is goin-"

"You idiot." I heard a creepy voice say behind me.

I slowly turned my head around, looking at Flowey, with my eyes widening.

"F-Flowey?"

"In this world, it's killed or be killed!"

"Wha-what?"

"Why would ANYONE pass up an opportunity like this?"

"Chara!" I yelled trying to get up, but a couple of bullets appeared beside me and surrounded me, trapping me where I was.

"DIE. " I heard Flowey yell, while the bullets started closing in on me.

Maybe I could dodge them? Or find a way to escape? Where was Chara and why weren't they helping me?

I heard Floweys's laughter get louder and louder while the bullets got closer and I shut my eyes.

I guess this is the end now. I will really die. Did I seriously think I would survive in this Underground world? Really? They're monsters for God's sake! Of course I would die here. And I wouldn't be able to fill my promise. My eyes started tearing up. I could feel the bullets really close now, about to touch me when-

All of a sudden, a fireball hit Flowey in the face, making him disappear with the bullets. Chara appeared beside me.

"Phew! That was close! At least she got here in time! I told you he wasn't a good person Frisk! If you want to survive here you'll have to do exactly what I tell you to do, or else you'll die." They nagged me.

I tried standing up once again, trying to see who saved me.

"What a horrible creature, torturing such a poor, innocent youth." Came a sweet voice from above me. I felt their hands go in my back and a weird warm feeling surrounded me.

When the warm feeling was gone, I didn't feel pain anymore. That was weird. I finally managed to stand up, and looked at the lady who saved me.

She's a.....goat? Lady? Monster?

She had a really pretty purple tunic, with a weird white symbol in the chest area.

She smiled at me and waved her hand.

"Ah do not be afraid my child. I am TORIEL, caretaker or the RUINS. I pass down here everyday to see if any humans have fallen down."

I looked at Chara, who looked to be about to cry. Maybe this was the monster they were talking about before? The ones that took care of them probably?

I shook my head and smiled at Toriel. She did look like she had good intentions, and yes, they did save me from that wretched flower. But I wasn't going to be dumb enough to fall into the same trap again, so this time I had to be cautious.

Toriel smiled back, and turned around, grabbing my hand.

"Come, my child, I will guide you through the catacombs!"

And with that, she grabbed my hand and walked with me, leading the way.

[lethbians]

can you explain what's going on right now? i keep seeing big IT blogs talking about some discourse or something but i have no idea what they're talking about other than it involves you lol

alright i like. i truly do not like having diScOurSE out in public because i’m not one to air out my dirty laundry 24/7 but seeing as how it was brought into public against my will i feel like the least i can do is clear up the situation for those who’ve been seeing the posts. 

i’m putting this under the cut bc it’s long. tws for some biphobia, brief mention of transphobia and, at the end, a rape mention. 

so if you don’t know: hi, i’m migz, i’m an it fandom blogger. its okay, i know, its really cool. part of my shtick here is that i like to turn normal thirst tags into works of art for the sake of comedy. perhaps you’ve seen some of my highlights from my “fhg” tag - perhaps your brain has been spared. either way, it became kind of “my thing” around the third or fourth week (mid nov) of me having this blog. at first, i tagged just about every ask i got mentioning the thirst tags with “bill hader” - they had to do with him, so why not tag him? it would draw more like minded people! about two days into that i got a message asking me to tag my nsfw. i am a big dumb idiot, and apologize for not initially doing it. i havent had a following bigger than like 10 in several years and completely spaced on basic etiquette. so by the end of november i was tagging everything applicable  with “notsfw” and “bill hader”. 

now you’re caught up.

on december 1st i got this message from user billhaderanti:

now i want to start by saying i absolutely was in the wrong here. i didn’t even think about how many people were being subjected to the asks i was getting - especially ones who had no idea they were all jokes. i don’t track the bill hader tag, so it just didn’t even occur to me - that’s ignorance on my part, and to anyone who was subjected to the terrors of me before my tagging system: i am genuinely sorry. i relay the same sentiment in my response, though you can tell i’m on edge.

and they replied:

clearly they Were offended by it but thats.. not the point. at this point, im feeling Really weird about the whole interaction, but still understanding, because again - i GET it. i know my posts are gross - that’s the point. it doesn’t make it excusable, though, which is why i understand why people are offended. so i responded with the only solution i Knew would keep us both safe and happy posting on our own blogs. 

so i thought this would be the end of things! i’d been pretty anxious lately already since i’d started to receive anons telling me i was gross and whore-ish for thirst posting in this way (i delete all of those, so if ur thinking about sending one, i guess no one’s stopping you but it won’t be seeing the light of the dashboard). i’m unsure if it was immediately or a few hours later, seeing as how i have a bad concept of time and the post-dates are right on the edge between nov 30 and dec 1, but i went to their blog - because anyone who has been on the internet knows the opportunity to vague post is near irresistible. and...what do ya know

fair! it’s their blog. however i am an emotionally fragile egg girl and immediately got freaked out. the odds that they were the only one who thought this were low. and, again, i’ve been very open on my blog about how important it is to respect boundaries; my posts are absolutely prone to breaking those boundaries people have created for themselves. 

so i made my own, semi-vague post, letting my following know (and i’m pretty sure i’d answered asks about it before, but this is going to be long enough w/o me searching those up too) that i understood if they wanted to block me or unfollow or whatever - people need to create their own safe spaces. the tension is pretty clear in the tags, i’m not trying to hide that. i felt that the way this woman slid into my dm’s was pretty abrasive (just my opinion/how it made me personally feel) and i let myself be a lil emotional about it in the tags of my post.

alright! maybe this is the end. maybe we both go our separate ways and post happily on our own blogs... except it’s not the end. later in the day (some of this was happening like 1/2am, so now its Day day, i believe - again, not good w time passage lol)

clearly, i’m upset. my groupchat double checked that i didn’t get too emotional in my response - did i mention im anxious about discourse lol - and apparently.. it did the trick. she didn’t message me again. great. it was over. 

at this point, i decided i needed to make an even bigger change. so a few days after i’d calmed down i created an entirely new tag for my thirst posts so if people hadn’t already hidden the notsfw posts or just blocked me outright, they’d have a third option to escape the madness. at this point, id had my blog about 6? weeks, but there were still 2k posts for me to sift through - some of them were completely untagged. i also had to do it post by post, because one of xkits features - the mass re-tagger - was getting blogs deleted for some reason, and i wasn’t going to do that. so i spent a few days going through all 2k+ posts, adding the “fhg” tag. 

YEEHAW! a brand new tagging system, no more hopping into the bill hader tag (minus one or two really funny, not super explicit asks, like the bill hader farquaad meme), and, tbf, i’d completely put this woman out of my mind. i don’t seek out drama and do my best to stay in my lane. yesterday, i checked my activity for the first time in awhile since id put out a couple new original posts that had started to get traction and i Love reading tags. i noticed a mutual had @’d me, and realized i havent checked my @’s in...ever, maybe. i see a post from my good pal billhaderanti. 

since i dont follow them and never check my @’s, i’d completely missed it. however, once i did see it, i was horrified. id gone through all that fucking work to keep my blog My Blog and also respect everyone’s boundaries and it still hadn’t been enough. i’d been awake for almost 24 hours and went. a little crazy. and i didn’t reply immediately because i just had no words. i sent it to my friends because i... i just wasn’t going to be able to figure it out myself. 

there’s a lot to unpack in this post alone, but whatever, i’m gonna put my own grievances with the immaturity of 1. making a callout post to begin with when i’d been nothing but civil 2. making a callout post about something as (in the grand scheme of Life) minor as some tags where i refer to a someone’s genitals as a “whack pack” and 3. making a callout post in such a rude way - aside. at the end, she calls me (and whoever else!) a demonic mlw (man loving woman, we assumed, and then later confirmed with a post further back on her blog). 

which - yeah, we started scrolling. at first we were looking for more vague blogs, and then we just...started finding things. billhaderanti is a self proclaimed lesbian separatist, which... fine. but it’s already pretty clear that this woman hates me on some level simply because i am a bi woman (demonic mlw, remember!) which is just. damn man i can’t believe we are still fighting the biphobic fight lol. so the more we scrolled, the more we uncovered - and not just the biphobic / vaguely mtf transphobic things they posted (or put in tags), but we also found that they had their OWN thirst tags. certainly not as hyperbolically comedic as mine, but they were there, talking about his body and his person the same (and, frankly, a bit creepier for other reasons) as mine. 

there’s one post in particular that snatched my wig in it’s creepiness - and i say creepiness in the sense that it feels personal. like this woman feels like she knows bill to some degree where she can say these things. my tags have always had a sense of distance, as they’re written for humor. and maybe this particular post was written for comedic purposes, but it doesn’t read that way, and if it WAS, then she has no right to call ME out for MY comic tags and posts. 

i’ll let it speak for itself, mostly because i don’t want to read it again. 

i also won’t be going through her blog again to find the posts with biphobic and other Interesting:tm: tags because there are plenty and i just really! want to be done with the whole ordeal! her blog is public and i’m sure you can all find it and look to your heart’s content. 

feeling a bit feral and a bit pissed off now that we knew the depth of how rotten this woman’s vibes were, a couple of my pals made a post or two similar to what my tag’s are like except turned up to eleven (if possible) - and tagged them with “bill hader” (and notsfw!!). yes, a bit childish, but at this point, the entire situation was childish, and making jokes was truly the only way we were going to get through it. another vague post went up on her blog soon after.

talking down to us, calling us children, and then for whatever reason calling us virgins... whatever, weird post. around this time most of us (est) went to bed, because it was nearing 3 or 4 in the morning. 

and then today happened. i woke up fresh and ready for the day after a wonderful 4 hours of sleep and found that jane had made an incredibly intelligent post in response to the situation. i won’t ss it, but i’ll LINK in case you missed it. attached there in the reblog is my own response. i think they can speak for themselves. 

after that, things were kind of jumbled, since i wasn’t online a lot and when i was i was Not checking my activity simply because i was afraid of what i’d see. for the most part, it ended up just being support (which i am very grateful to all of you for - it means a lot that you all enjoy my content to any degree). 

there was some more vague posting from both “““““sides”””””” of the “““““argument”””””” - mostly just people restating the fact that this is a public space and we should All be aware of how we effect others. i still hadn’t heard directly from billhaderanti, so i assumed we’d all be dropping and disengaging and moving on. i still wasn’t blocked, though, so who really knew what would happen. 

eventually, it culminated in this last post. tw for mentions of rape

i’m going to start by saying that 

1. there are nearly no teenagers that were involved in this. im turning 23 in january and most of my friends are 20+. maybe one or two are 19. 

2. none of us sent any sexually violent asks - most of us didn’t send asks at all. i believe one or two of my friends admitted to sending asks however they assured me their nature wasn’t bad; as far as i know, everyone remained civil in whatever went on (again, unclear to me as to what was being sent; no one was actively posting or talking about it. if billhaderanti wishes to elaborate, they can, but i don’t have anything to put in). 

3. before i finish this, i would like to apologize to billhaderanti. as a comedian - not just my stupid tags, i mean in real life, too - i know that humor can hurt. it’s not always funny, it’s not just stupid hahas. sometimes things that are supposed to be jokes just hit people differently and cause bad things. i recognize that. i never meant to trigger you (if you’re reading this) or cause you any severe mental/emotional harm. i apologize for my humor bringing up your trauma, and i never meant for that. regardless of my own thoughts and opinions about the nature of my posts/the thirst tags themselves, they hurt you, and i’m sorry. 

anyway, i’m going to wrap this up (i’m bad at endings, what can i say! steven king and i took the same writer’s class!). if you read all this... sorry. i probably won’t be taking any asks about it, because i find the whole “drama” of this to be stupid and rooted in some seriously biphobic issues this fully grown woman has. 

tldr; i attempted to contain my blog so this woman could exist and function safely on her blog, but it wasn’t enough for her, so she called me out, and then some of the fandom called Her out for being biphobic and mean and overall just immature about the situation. as of now, she’s yet to block me, though her and her wife have blocked a few of my friends. her wife continues to clown on my friends. this post was made for clarity’s sake. the end, i’m getting a drink. 

#discourse #biphobia tw #transphobia tw #rape tw #ok goodbye im done with this im back to #only posting gay clown movie #Anonymous

[isssheanangel]

5. Why do you really want to lose weight? Are you doing it for you?

First of all, when I was 14 years old I had an amazing body, everyone noticed it and complimented me. My classmates were really immature and probably full of hormones but still, I liked receiving this kind of attention.

As I grew up I had to quit ballet because of school and joined the gym, but my body was changing while I was growing and even though I’m normal now, I know that my legs are bigger than they should. My butt is fat and legs have saddlebags and cellulite.

I was an exchange student and during 6 months in Germany I gained almost 10kg because of the junk they eat every single day and I couldn’t do anything about it. For a 55kg girl, 10kg are more than 1/5 of my body. It was a huge change for me. My bestfriend at home were still skinny, of course. And that changed everything.

I changed my eating habits a little bit, which actually weren’t bad at all and started loosing weight as soon as I came back. But I never lost them completely.

My ultimate goal weight has always been 52, less than I weighted before my exchange. Unrealistic? Maybe, but not for a 15 years old girl and I want that body back.

So, yes, I’m doing that for me. I don’t wanna be normal, I wanna be underweight as I have always been because I know how it feels like to live in that body.

Plus, I have control over basically everything in my life. Even feelings. Food is the only thing a can’t really control. I’m like an animal, if there’s food in front of me I just have to eat it. Sometimes I keep eating even thought I don’t like it that much. That has changed a lot, but I’m still fighting it.

I’ve started eating healthy and exercise properly, not just to maintain. I’m doing cardio for the first time in my life because even though I’ve lost a few kg and now I’m normal, it’s not enough. I want more.

I hate staying at home bcs I don’t have a great relationship with my mother and I don’t even refer to my dad as a father. Everything that my mother does doesn’t feel logic to me. I would do everything differently. My biggest fear is to become like them. Plus, they are both overweight. But my mother has many health problems, such as depression (she burned out a few years ago) and she blames her hormones. Actually she roughly eat 1000 kcals everyday but she doesn’t have a clue about nutrition or macros. She eats like shit and she lives like shit. I don’t wanna be like that. When she compliments my lifestyle and say that she doesn’t have a clue how I’m so productive, strong and busy all the time I feel amazingly. I try to be perfect in everything I do: school, sports, social life, job, extra curricular activities, fashion, I try to be the best friend that I can be and so on. The only thing that I’m not succeeding a 100% at is my weight. And that impact a lot what other people think and what I think of myself.

Being home all the time during quarantine hasn’t helped. I think I’ve always had orthorexia nervosa, but I never even knew that such thing existed. Now that I’m stuck at home, something has changed and I’m actually glad that my mentality is allowing me to pursue my goal. Everything started with a simple thought: wow, I’m obliged to stay at home for at least 2 months. That’s great. If I loose enough weight, I could surprise everybody. They are going to notice the difference for sure. That was my biggest motivation. I downloaded tumblr again and found this community. I love it. It’s exactly what I needed.

Plus, there’s more. My biggest motivation is actually my boyfriend. He says that he loves me just like that but I know that he hates people who are fat and let that happen because of terrible eating habits and no sport at all. That’s not my case, of course. But still, I know that he lies when he says that he likes my body because I’m not that thin. His exes, every single one, was super skinny. His sisters are, even though they eat whatever they like. Most of this people have that in their DNAs and don’t even know what dieting means. I do and I’m still bigger. It’s. Not. Fair. But I don’t care, I’m gonna make it and prove him and his ex girlfriend which still is his bestfriend that I’m better than her under every single aspect of life. I hate her so much because of her behavior and in a lot of situations she disrespected me openly even though she acts like she’s not a bitch. She is. I’m gonna show her that I can be just as thin. That’s the only thing that she has and I haven’t.

That’s all. Wasn’t expecting to answer that deeply but guessed I needed a little self reminder. Why am I doing this? That’s why. And I’m gonna succeed. I don’t care how hard it’s going to be. The past 3 weeks has been amazing and now I’m gonna restrict myself even more. I’ll fast if necessary and exercise twice a day every single day. I don’t care, I can do it and I’m strong enough.

I won’t feel ashamed in a bikini in front of my boyfriends’ friends. I won’t have to use facetune on my body ever again. I want to be proud of who I’ll become. I want to show off.

#ed stuff #restriction #thin inspo #motivation #thinspiration #meanspo #skiny body #aesthetic #edthings #woman