#like those old fashioned army posters

[theshadowrealmitself]

I can’t stop laughing at the thought of vaguely-pinup-ish posters featuring Humans with the purpose of trying to get Vulcans to join Starfleet and Humans are like “that’s so stupid that’s never gonna work on Vulcans” not knowing that Vulcans made the posters and they’re actually considered v effective on Vulcan

#like those old fashioned army posters #y’know since Starfleet’s like a military thing #Star Trek #Vulcans #humans #this is probably one of those posts that only I enjoy

[emo-batboy]

Fan pages on Twitter with Bruce are making me think of one thing. Kpop Twitter. Do u think they would be making fancams of him too? Photocards? Posters? Buying 10 copies of vogue just for different cover with him?

*takes off glasses* now I cannot reveal the secrets of my Twitter au BUT you came to the right person :DD

NOW CONSIDER

BRUCE WAYNE AS A FORMER MODEL (idk if this has been done before with Battinson? Let me know so I can read it)

So maybe Bruce did some covers for a business magazine in his late teens or early 20’s and it went really well!!

a few luxury brands asked if this fresh-faced Bruce Wayne would consider being an ambassador. Maybe a brand of watches, suits, sunglasses, something business-like or old money

He agrees to work with some suit company cuz his dad loves the brand and he likes them too now

This earns him his first ever taste of A-List Celeb Status. He is on the cover of magazines, not just business and fashion: Gossip magazines. Tabloids. People recognize him and want his autograph. Paparazzi follow him to lunch dates with friends.

They want to know his favorite color, cereal brand, ice cream flavor, and not because they want to be billionaires like him (poor little nepo baby) but because they love him so much they want to know every little detail of his life.

He is given the title of heartthrob over and over again (and I mean look at him, ofc he is)

He despises it with every cell in his body.

BUT he keeps working for this one luxury tailor brand until his contract ends. Maybe two or three years?

He has a good relationship with them, still. Wears their suits mostly, recommends it to friends if they need a new one. But he’s decided it’s not for him anymore.

Now. Every year, during New York Fashion Week, Bruce is invited to walk in their show. (This brand gives all of their ambassadors the opportunity.) Sometimes, he says yes. Sometimes, he doesn’t.

He refuses for a few years (during his vengeance era) until Bruce Wayne changes and decides to make more appearances. NY Fashion Week comes around, and Bruce returns for one (1) show.

Oh lordie the stans

They arrive in droves

EVERYBODY AND THEIR MOTHER SEES THE CLIP OF BRUCE WAYNE WALKING AT THE FASHION SHOW!!

He tears up that fucking runway! He’s a seasoned veteran of course he does

THE BRAND BEGS BRUCE TO COME BACK

And ya know what?

He says yes

Cuz he wants to be personable, likable, approachable, a role model (no pun intended)

His bitterness is slowly dissipating, and he’s grown stronger after the stress of his early 20’s and the hatred of his late 20’s. He’s an Adult TM who can handle it.

This is when he learns about the new emergence of stan culture :)

The edits are EVERYWHERE

Some are from his new collections and looks

Others are made up of early 2010’s Bruce Wayne

Imagine like those sparkly ones with cute music in the background and it’s just Bruce smiling

(And then there’s the thirst trap ones, you know those one)

Pretty boy billionaire Bruce Wayne and his army of fans could declare a nation. They’re your cousin, your friend, your teacher, your goddamn accountant.

Old posters from Tiger Beat 2009 go up on eBay for thousands of dollars

And those old “vintage” fashion magazines where he’s on the cover, those could cost you rent

Bruce walks some new shows and agrees to pose for some magazines (fashion AND business, among others)

Vogue offers him the cover, which he accepts

They run out of stock.

(How is that even possible?)

Fancams of him walking down the street and attending press conferences crop up? That’s what surprises him the most.

He is still very camera shy but the more he gets to know the regular fansites, he feels more comfortable waving and talking to them. (And hopefully they don’t suspect a thing. PLEASE don’t suspect a thing.)

There are a lot of events where they’re not allowed in but if it’s a public event, they will be there

(There are some creepy ones tho, and Alfred handles them accordingly) (with a call to the police) (and occasionally a hose)

It’s fun tho, allows Brucie Wayne, Billionaire Nepo Baby Extraordinaire, to become separate from his nightly persona

This is how Bruce becomes very familiar with Stan Twitter

But he still refuses to make an account for his own sanity

It’s for the best

#bruce wayne #battinson #batman #the batman 2022 #the batman #batman 2022 #model au #battinson is a model #WHAT IF ya know???? #I really wish I could put like 50 photos in this post but I can’t

[jmdbjk]

The Astronaut.

I am just going to unfurl these thoughts as I listen to the song and lyrics and watch the video. So much symbolism in the video.

The spaceship crashed and Jin sitting there, watching it burn.

Is the spaceship the juggernaut that is BTS? BTS did crash into the world on debut and the world did not know what had been unleashed upon it at that time. Or is it life in general or time itself? Maybe it represents Jin, Jin’s life. 

Maybe it is life’s (many burdensome) obligations.

Time has gone by and Jin does puzzles (games) while waiting. Solving his puzzle involves adding words to represent the elements of his time with BTS and Army. “The planet is coming back soon.” The planet is BTS? The planet is home?

His room is full of little easter eggs. The guitar that Chris Martin gave to him. The Music of the Spheres album... posters of Coldplay, amongst other things. And Chris’ cameo appearance as the news anchor on tv...

Then he sees the signal (light beaming to the sky)...it’s time to go. He’s been waiting and is ready to answer the call.

His suit is slightly too small... he’s grown a little during the time he’s been waiting. Or he’s lost his original suit and had to borrow a new one? The cut of the black suit seems somewhat old-fashioned, and the color black is very conservative and also a color for mourning. Perhaps it represents something that is outdated... This is an intriguing detail. 

The little girl looks like international Army. And of course, because she represents us, she is adorable... I was going to guess her age but later in the video, I can tell her front teeth are growing in so she’s about 8.

He puts the helmet on her to keep her safe. Then he looks back at his home... jesus, I’m crying as I write this. 

And off he goes, running forward to his future, whatever is awaiting. Just like they’ve been doing all these years. 

That’s a nice neighborhood, I wonder if its a movie set or a real neighborhood somewhere. I am expecting a behind the scenes video of this MV at some point. I think the small town street scenes are for sure a movie set. There are a lot of those in California.

I love this image:

He is speeding to his future by himself. Sure of himself. Not afraid in the least bit.

And then he’s pushing the little girl off to ride by herself. She’s a little scared and doesn’t want him to let go.

As much as we don’t want to, we can do this, guys, we can do this by ourselves (omg the tears!)! WE HAVE TO DO THIS!

We will have to hold our photos (memories) close to us for a short time.

We are Jin’s universe.

When he gets back to the ship, it has settled into the environment and the trees have grown up around it...it’s been a long wait. 

And then it lifts off. The inevitable... life... time... obligations... whatever it represents, moving on as it does regardless. 

And the dude in the FORD truck that stops to pick him up. And Jin rides off into the sunset. For now.

The sign at the end... Tejon Ranch? If that’s what it says, that is north of Los Angeles. The scenery matches that location.

Last scene of the MV when he completes the word on the puzzle... F A M I L Y. 

We hear the bicycle bell and he rises to go see us. The anticipation on his face... (my god, how am I typing coherently at this point...)

I have a dumb question, at the start of the video, what does SBSM mean (appears at the bottom left of all the MVs)?

And this number in the yellow circle on the top right?

I can’t believe this song is almost 5 minutes long. I want it to be even longer. What a great song! I think it has great general pop appeal in that potentially non-Army/non-fans will like it a lot. The music video is so sweet and poignant for us who are very invested, and yet, repeating what I said, it has great general appeal as well. The location choice, the girl and the extras in the video are very diverse even though the neighborhood and town have a very “small town” rural feel to them. It is very much a video that western markets, especially the U.S. market can relate to visually. 

As I write this more than 12 hours after it’s release, The Astronaut is still at the top spot on iTunes. Sorry, Rihanna, apparently Armys’ feelings are stronger than everyone expected. I am certain this is taking a lot of industry people by surprise as well. I mean, it’s Rihanna, who hasn’t released music in a long time. You’d think her song would be hugely anticipated. But we are always underestimated across the board.

Beware anyone else attempting to release music when the next solo albums drop. If Jin can do this with ONE SONG, the rest of you are on notice. 

THANK YOU FOR A FANTASTIC SONG AND MV, JIN!!! I LOVE YOU TOO!! WE WILL BE WAITING FOR YOU!!

#kim soekjin #The Astronaut by Jin #Jin x Coldplay #bts military service #i will talk about jin's welive after its subbed

[badoccultadvice]

How to spot a bot in the comments section

Many people lead their lives becoming very upset at comments they read on the internet, and spend a good deal of time trying to understand what those comments mean about the state of society and humanity. Often, this is time wasted, because they're not comments that any human is genuinely making. They're bots.

One reason people don't expect many human-seeming comments to be bots is because the assumption is that bots cannot act like humans. Different types of bots are able to take on different types of human behavior and some are very lifelike. Let's take a moment to understand how they achieve this, and to understand how bots exist at all.

Types of Bots

This is not an exhaustive list, these are just bot tactics that are commonly employed in comment threads.

1. Mechanical Turks

A mechanical turk is a person who is hired to perform a routine action. The name "mechanical turk" comes from a story about a robot that would perform for the royal court in Turkey that was, in fact, a box with a person inside it who would essentially be the robot's brain and muscles. An army of modern mechanical turks can be hired from anywhere in the world now. A common task is for them to solve Captcha problems. Sometimes when a company says that they have an AI that can analyze images, they're really hiring people to just look at the images and sort them the old-fashioned way, then claiming they have a bot that does this. Mechanical turking is something that can be applied to any type of bot where programming isn't producing the behavior needed or the AI technology for it isn't available.

Also, this is the easiest way for a bot to pass a turning test--it's easy to think the other end isn't a computer when it really is a human that can make human decisions. The "bot" aspect is the scripted limitations that the person's interactions will be forced through to meet the standards of the job. For instance, holding strange personal views in a conversation, claiming illogical things, being involved in ludicrous conspiracy theory discussions--these are things a person can do for money without ever holding the view. You can often tell it's this type of bot when a person seems to be committed to arguing one way or to promoting a certain view, but their actual words and sentences don't hold a lot of internal logic, and they seem to easily lose track of the conversation. They're not personally invested in the conversation and it shows in their behavior. They'll often repeat boilerplate arguments that are designed to incite rage or other volatile emotions.

2. Grouped bots (balanced bot party)

A crowd of bots makes for more confusion than a single bot, because all of the sudden, there's threads of conversation between multiple people who all seem to agree with each other, or seem to always have the same "type" of conversation. Investment forum plants tend to have this type of dynamic where one bot pitches the perfect setup for another bot to really start up a discussion. Then you'll have a couple other bots who agree with whatever point is trying to be pushed, trying to project the image of crowd agreement and encourage human posters in the forum to join the artificially-created bandwagon. These are often tell-taled by their homogeny and genericness. They all sound the same, there's conversations in the comments repeating and always going the same way and repeating phrasing.

3. Cuckoo chicks

Some bots are operated in stages, and the early stage will usually be one where they blend in and behave like the rest of the chicks from the nest. They repeat popular community memes or ask very basic questions to look as if they regularly participate in discussions if one were to glance at their profile's post history. (This is tooled for forums that work like Reddit.) They do this for months or even years, depending on what the goal is and how long-term the operation is that they're part of. This "nesting" of profiles on strategic discussion forums is usually in preparation for a mass discussion event in the future where the person who hired the nested bots has the bots all engage in coordinated actions. This can be anything from flooding boards with spam to presenting the appearance that a community holds a different view than it really does by planting so many bots that the demographic appears shifted.

Two different ways to spot a bot

1. Judge the logic

Programmed AIs or hired actors both face a fundamental problem-they are forced into certain patterns of behavior by their roles. A clown cannot deliver a newscast. A scripted spambot can't convince you that it cares about what it's saying. And a person following a script can't decide to act in a different fashion on the fly, that's not their job. So if there's just plain illogical interactions, people acting like a whole conversation was there that never took place, entire phrases and words missing, typos that don't make sense for people to type and glyphs/characters that aren't common for people of the forum's dominant languages to write in, you're looking at a bot-intense discussion. Threads often become a mixture of fooled humans genuinely replying to scripted humans and bots. Usually bots are encouraged to sow confusion, so the incoherence of the resulting conversations would be considered a fringe benefit.

If someone is espousing a very extreme view uninvited and unprompted in a place that makes no sense to do so, then a programmer may be testing out a bot. Someone found some discussions in PornHub video comments sections of several users all talking about their favorite stocks and using Reddit stock board memes, and of course it had nothing to do with the video. Either a developer was testing their bots there or they left that tab open on accident while launching something. Small discussion forums for niche subjects are sometimes used as testing grounds for operations, as you can easily start an argument in a fandom to test out bot behavior and no one will think much of it.

Testing is often necessary for bots because AIs can use a vocabulary bank you can swap out, so you can switch your racist bots to transphobic bots for different operations. So the word-swap glitch may show up in speech, people using vocabulary that's strange to that discussion forum but otherwise speaking coherent sentences.

You don't want to test the logic of the arguments themselves, because humans can easily hold and argue for illogical opinion-based views. It's more about testing whether this is a person speaking with functional language, or whether they're making sentence-building mistakes that humans just don't make, even when learning a second language. Sentences may appear entirely constructed by copy-paste.

2. Question the motivation

I like to evaluate this by asking: "Why go through all the trouble of this?" Does the person look as if they're spending a lot of time arguing on a very specific subject, especially across all of the comments they make? Could you estimate that they spend a good deal of time every day on this, or even notice by the timestamps that they're doing it at odd times for their user demographic? Why would a person get up at 3AM to argue about veganism and anticapitalism with fifty different people on YouTube and then leave three hours later abruptly in the middle of all discussions? Why would this person be meticulously copy-pasting their garbled sentences all that time? And why are none of the videos they're commenting on actually mentioning the subjects they're ranting about?

With mechanical turks it's harder to spot language errors but easier to spot motivation errors. They're often overly focused on projecting a cover story and drop unnecessary details about what they're trying to build up cover on. They often repeat popular views and phrases and stick with the bandwagon when it comes to social interactions, but never seem to have a fundamental, core sense of why they're there having the conversation, because they're just being paid to be there and they can't forget that they're on the job and they don't actually care about this discussion. They can seem overly purpose-driven. Their lives and backstories tend to be laden with sympathetic details. (Sometimes you can even spot them living out a fantasy like saying they met a celebrity the forum respects.)

Sometimes you can simply analyze for tone and look at the context. Someone being irrationally angry in all their phrasing, for instance, may be a bot's script limitations. Looping back on logic repeatedly is often a result of script limitations. There's only so many ways that a bot, or even an actor, can be scripted to act. I find the conclusion of a discussion is the most telling--bots and mechanical turks either never stop even when it makes all rational sense to, because they either don't get tired or aren't actually feeling the opinions they're scripted to have so they're not nearly as taxed by a debate and can go on indefinitely. It can be easy to get worn out by this, but if you look at it from a different angle, it's really a tell.

Motivation is usually about profit. Who profits from this? Was the discussion about vapes? The meat industry? Vaccines? Factory workers' rights in China? Is it something a certain government or political party really cares about? If the dots are easy to connect, then that's another tell.

Bots are a part of the internet and always have been.

Hey, back in the 90s in the Sailor Moon fanpage webmaster community, people were spamming Guestbooks with fake discussions about the different webpage review groups they didn't like to try to stir up gossip in the community. That's basically a mechanical turk attack. Back then, it was pretty obvious that people were planting opinions, once you realized the greater context of the situation. And nowadays, it's still easy to spot planted opinions and bot discussions, once you know what's going on.

Who hires these? Who creates them? Well, there's a lot of contractor organizations who do this for politicians, governments, and corporations, and there's plenty of freelance programmers willing to take jobs on the grey market. Some tactics were developed by government espionage and security groups, some were developed on the open web in the wild by the current of social dynamics. I feel a lot of media attention that ought to be put on this sort of thing has been lacking because of a technical knowledge gap and a lack of understanding of basic espionage that the Sailor Moon fandom's teenagers sure seemed to grasp easily enough back in 1993.

If you're concerned, I suggest writing to your local representative about the issue. But most of all I hope you allow a little more hope for humanity. Some of those ugly discussions out there are just robots being paid to insult each other, which is sad, but it's a different sad than if they'd really meant it.

Why bother arguing with someone who isn't really there?

#bots #cybersecurity #reddit #internet #critical thinking #espionage #politics

[sillyrabbit81]

Syverson & Vixen

Summary: Captain Syverson retires from the Army and takes an extended vacation. He wasn't planning on falling in love. Then he meets Vix, an unlucky in love tattoo artist at a party. Do they have what it takes to make it.

Pairing: Syverson x OFC

Word Count: Approx 2k words

Warnings: swearing, recreational drinking smoking, implied Daddy kink.

Authors Note: I hope you enjoy my version of Sy. Thanks for reading.

Masterlist

Part 1 Part 3

Part 2

Syverson

Softy and I left to get to his party. Evidently, Jess wanted him there before the party started to give him his birthday present.

When we arrived, Softy let himself in the house. I wondered why these two weren't married and pushing out ankle biters. They had been together for eight years. Softy was also out of the military, so it wasn't the distance thing that stopped them.

Jess was real nice. She seemed like the homemaker type, and by the spread she had put on for tonight, she seemed to want to be one. She was blonde and pretty in a real girl-next-door kind of way. The type of girl you would take home to your momma.

The house was small but immaculate. It had a few kitsch items around like an old record player, a Faster Pussy Cat Kill Kill and Johnny Cash flipping the bird posters and a leopard print throw pillow that seemed out of place. Jess greeted me with a hug and a kiss, saying it was great to meet me, and asked how I was.

"Fine, thank you, ma'am," I said, going straight back to my roots. Since I didn't know Jess, my first instinct was to call her ma'am despite being about ten years younger than me.

Jess giggled, "Ma'am, huh? I don't think anyone's ever called me that before." I was relieved she took it well. Sometimes people bristle at being called sir or ma'am. She went on, "Pete, maybe you should learn some manners from, sorry, what's your first name?"

"Uh," I haven't had anyone, but my family call me by my first name in years. "Sy or Syverson is fine."

"Sy then. Well, it's great to meet you."

"You too, ma'am." I winked at her, and she giggled again. At least I haven't completely lost my touch.

"Oi, that's enough, Sy." Softy said with a smile. He knows me well enough that I'd never touch his woman. "Where's Vix?" He asked Jess. He gave me a wink.

"She outside helping the DJ, I think. But she's been out there a while. She must be putting the ice in the esky. Pete, will you help her?"

Softy looked at me, his eyebrows raising up and down and his head tilting towards the yard.

"I'll give her a hand," I said. "Through here?" I asked, looking through the glass sliding door.

I didn't need their answer because I saw her. I got what Softy meant about her having a look. She had pretty red hair pulled back into a high ponytail tied with a scarf, and she was wearing a black and white polka dot dress that was tight all over, showing off her Marilyn Munroe figure. Her dress had hitched up and revealed her creamy white thighs. But what made my dick hard was the tattooed line running up the back of her legs that ended mid-thigh with a pretty pink bow. She had many tattoos, including what looks like a half sleeve of a pin-up girl on her left arm.

She was struggling to take down some lights. I watched as she moved her little step stool to the next tie. She climbed up in some black old fashioned looking heels and lifted her arms high, pulling the dress right up again to reveal those pretty little bows.

I opened the sliding door quietly and went out, watching as she got the last tie. It was just that little bit too high for her. She stretched high and shuffled a bit, then stood on her toes.

I was about to offer her help when I heard the snip of the pliers, and she yelled out, "yes! Gotcha, you fucker."

I was surprised at her language and laughed. "My, my, my. What colourful language, Darlin'."

She froze a second, then got off the stool and turned around. She took my breath away for a moment. She was the sexiest girl I'd seen in years. She had Betty Page bangs and red lips with black eyeliner above big bright hazel eyes. Those eyes flashed with anger, went wide a moment before getting angry again. Darlin' has a temper. I smiled.

"You could have offered to help." She said as she started to roll the lights up.

"My apologies, ma'am. I was just about to when you completed your mission."

"It's not complete yet." She said. " I have to put up another set of lights."

"I'll be happy to help. You got any more of those ties?"

She walked past me. Her heels clicking on the tiled porch made my dick twitch. She went over to a shed and got out a cardboard box with a new pack of lights and ties.

She handed me the box, "thank-you."

She was about to walk away, so I said, "it'll be quicker if you help me." I gave her my best smile, showing her my teeth and everything.

"What do you want me to do?" She put her hands on her hips, and I get a good look at her sleeve. She had a 'Lady Luck' tattoo, a pinup girl in a martini glass with some roses, cards and dice around it. The tattoo went from her shoulder to her elbow.

"Pass me the ties, if you don't mind," I said, opening the box of lights. She kept standing with her hands on her hips. Her foot was tapping on the ground as if she were impatient. She reached up onto her head and pulled down some black cats eye sunglasses onto her eyes. For a brief moment, she could have been a pin-up herself with one hand resting on her hip and the other on her head. I reckon I'll never get that image out of my mind.

"Alright." She said. I got up on her stool, hoping like hell it could take my weight. I put my hand out to her, and she put one of the cable ties in my palm. She was careful not to touch me as her red fingernails dropped the cable tie into my hand. From this angle, I could see down the front of her dress. Dang, she had nice looking tits too.

"So, you're Victoria?" I said, trying to start her talking. She nodded but didn't say anything more. I clipped off the tie end of the cable tie to tidy it up, got off the stool, and moved to the next spot. "My name's Syverson."

"I know who you are," Vix said. Her sunglasses hid her expression from me, but her voice sounded like she was bored. But the way she was standing up straight with her tits out made me think she was playing me. Or maybe I was out of practice with girls.

"Is that a fact?" I said.

She hummed an agreement. "Pete's told us you'd be staying with him for a while."

"Yes, ma'am. I'm fixin' to have an extended vacation. Rest up a bit. I might get a Winnebago and travel around for a time. I haven't made up my mind yet."

Vix nodded but didn't say anything. Softy was right. This girl was hard mode. She wasn't giving me anything to work with. By the time we had gotten to the end of the lights, I was thinking about trying for one of the other girls later tonight. Then I felt her fingertips on my palm, and her nails grazed my skin as she gave me the last cable tie. Her touch sent white lighting through my veins.

I looked down at her. Vix was looking up at me with a sly smile on her face. God damned girl did that on purpose. Her smile grew, and she pulled her glasses down her nose to look me in the eyes. Her eyes were shining in amusement.

"Thank you, Sir," Vix said. Oh, she was good. She pushed her glasses back in place. I fixed the lights with the last tie and got off the stool. "Do you think you could fill the esky's with ice for me?" Vix asked.

"Uh," What the fuck is an esky? I looked around, trying to work out what it was. I felt like an idiot.

Vix tilted her head as if thinking. "The cooler?" She asked, pointing out the row of coolers near the house.

I got off the stool and said, "no trouble at all, Victoria." Her name felt sweet in my mouth.

"You can call me Vix," she said. "Only my Daddy calls me Victoria."

My eyebrows rose. Did she know what she was saying? Her smirk told me she did. My dick got hard again. This fucking girl was making me crazy, and I'd only known her fifteen minutes.

"Ain't you too old to call your father, Daddy?" I asked.

She curled her finger in a come here gesture. I bent my head down, so my ear was near her lips. "I wasn't talking about my Father," she whispered.

Oh, Lord in Heaven. I had to have this girl.

I took a deep breath and straightened up. I brought myself to my full height and crossed my arms. I opened my mouth to reply, and she said, "Thanks, the ice is in the esky, just open the bags and pour it in." She waved and walked to the house. Jesus, she played a good game. I had to give her that.

I watched her walk away. She didn't look back, but the way she swayed her hips when she walked was all for me. I'd bet a million dollars on it.

These Aussie boys seemed to know how to party. Lots of drinkin' and ribbin' on each other. It took a bit of getting used to, seeing they piled on each other. I hadn't heard the word cunt thrown around with such abandon since the last time I'd hung out with Softy. It wasn't just the guys who said to it. Some of the girls did too, but most of them didn't.

I had a chat with Vanessa, and she seemed nice but dull after meeting Vix. Chrissie was just as Softy said, and she would have been good to go after talking to her for 5 minutes. But I knew that if I even hinted at being interested in Chrissie, I'd never get Vix. I didn't even bother trying to talk to the other girl. I couldn't even remember her name.

It was hard to let loose, though. I found it difficult to think about much other than Vix. It didn't matter what I was doing; my eyes would go back to her all afternoon.

She was fascinating to watch too. Vix spoke to the guys a whole lot more than she talked to the girls, other than Jess and Mikey's wife. She drank a lot, mostly Dark and Stormy's in a can. She smoked too. I don't know what it was, but watching her red bee-stung lips wrapped around that cigarette made me turned on as hell. Maybe it was those red fingernails.

Vix even held Mikey's baby for a while. She looked funny, holding him. Vix seemed so maternal, playing peek-a-boo and pretending to eat his chubby fingers. Everything she did made me want to fuck her, including playing with a God damn baby. I didn't think I wanted to have children, but part of my brain went straight to thinking about what she'd look like pregnant with my kid.

She avoided me mostly, which would have discouraged me except that when she caught me looking at her a few times, one side of her mouth would turn up in a half-smile before she would turn her attention away.

When it started to get dark, Vix and Jess put out the food for dinner, and we all went up to serve ourselves food and sat on the plastic chairs eating off our laps. I was starving and piled my plate high with food. I went to grab a bread roll from the basket when bright red nails grabbed the roll I was about to take.

"That was mine," I said with a bit of aggression. I reached for another bread roll.

"Was it?" Vix said with mock innocence. "I'm sorry."

I chuckled, "No, you ain't."

"No, I'm not." She smiled at me and looked up at me through her long eyelashes. "I had to do something to get you to talk to me. You've been watching me for hours and haven't said a word."

I was happy I was sunburned cause it made me blush. Had I been so obvious? "You seemed busy."

"I'm not busy now." She turned and walked away and sat on a chair, crossed her legs and balanced her plate on her thigh. I, of course, followed.

Part 3

#captain syverson #syverson x ofc #syverson smut #syverson fanfiction #sand castle #henry cavill #henry cavill fanfiction #captain syverson fanfic

[turtle-steverogers]

Steve Rogers’ DC Apartment

OOK so I watched TWS again today and every time I watch it I get intrigued about Steve’s apartment

First OFF this is the concept art for his apartment:

We see posters lining the walls and scattered on the floor, most some variant of Army decor, a rather old fashioned looking fireplace, a brown leather couch with a light wooden coffee table in front of it, a record player in the corner with vinyls strewn on the floor next to it. Everything is simultaneously neat and in place and not entirely unpacked/strewn.

It sort of gives me the impression that he tried to move in completely, but just,,,didn’t

The concept art below holds the same atmosphere of neat, but lived in with more views of posters half hung or left unattended on the floor

Highlights from the above picture:

-the jacket hanging off the chair

-his shield placed haphazardly against the wall

-mail tossed onto his kitchen counter

-pencil and paper left forgotten next to the mail

-Art of War on kitchen table

-Apple computer

-Keys and files carelessly placed on the table

I can picture Steve getting up in the mornings, strolling to his kitchen and grabbing a book along the way, then putting a pot of coffee on and popping some toast in the toaster before parking himself at his kitchen table to do some work

Also, everywhere you look in the apartment, there are books. Like Jesus, just when you think you saw the last of the stacks, there’s another stack somewhere and when you look at this scene in the actual movie, you get a pretty decent assortment of books that all seem fairly on brand for our knowledge of Steve:

In this shot especially, you notice a lot of titles: The Second World War, Madam President, etc. It seems that Steve mostly has political biographies, war encyclopedias, and history anthologies. I bet this is the genre that Steve enjoys most, but every single stack of books can’t all have the same content, so just how much is he reading? What else does he have?

Is he going to old bookstores on weekends, thrifting copies of whatever he can find? Does he spend hours in the shelves, pulling out stacks of whatever catches his eye? Does he recognize a title that maybe Nat or Bruce had suggested and purchase it for the hell of it? Did he take the time to comb through the bestseller lists from each year he was in the ice and decide to use that as a basis to catch up? 

Whatever the case may be, Steve is a Hefty Reader.

OK Let’S DELVE deeper in to his actual apartment in the movie

IN the above shot, we see more of those aforementioned book stacks from the concept photos, as well as quite a few unhung frames of artwork. The artwork in particular intrigues me, because Steve himself is an artist, so what kind of art has he chosen for his apartment? Is any of it his own? Like the books, where is he getting the art? Is he going to galleries on weekends as well? Does he support local artists or big names? Are some of them photographs? If so, what of? 

And below we can see some more of content he chose to frame, which I couldn’t exactly decipher, but these look a little more like photographs and so far, they seem to be the only ones hung out of the many that he clearly owns. What differentiated these enough for him to choose to hang them? Many thoughts head full

Also his dishes: he clearly doesn’t have a Ton of them, but I suppose, why would he need full sets? It looks like he got the essentials, but again, did he choose what kinds of silver/dishware he wanted? Or was it SHIELD provided?

I always chuckle a little here, because the dishware is so oddly placed-- some of the glasses are upside now, some are right side up and stacked in each other, some of the bowls are stacked, some stand alone. He’s incredibly inconsistent with his organization, but ya know, whatever. You do you, Stevie. It definitely gives the apartment a “I’m 29 and living alone so I do what works well enough” vibe

IN this shot, you can see the vinyls from the concept photos on the floor. Which at least I’m certain Steve picked out entirely himself and now I’m emo thinking about him going to an old record store some time on his own and getting lost in the rows and rows of old vinyls and picking out his favorites and some of Bucky’s favorites, then purchasing a familiar looking record player the first familiar thing in a while and bringing it back to his apartment. I’m just imagining him getting home and deftly slipping a vinyl onto the record player and instantly feeling like he’s simultaneously in 1936 and 2014 all at once, like if he turns around, the skyline will suddenly be what he remembers from before the ice and Bucky will be in the room over, humming along to Glenn Miller

Okay okay so here you can see his record player yah yah AND a radio (with cassettes underneath if you look closely), which definitely was another attempt to make his apartment feel like it used to. At this point, I realized that I didn’t see a TV anywhere, which doesn’t surprise me. He had to go inherently modern in some aspects of his living style, but things he could avoid, I’m sure he did.

Anyway, yah, overall Steve’s apartment gives me the vibe that he was sort of trying to make his place look as close to what he knows from his past as possible. Which, honestly fair.

This was just self indulgent. It's always fun seeing these little humanizing parts of characters-- little slices of life.

#Steve Rogers #captain america #ca:tws #steve rogers' apartment #marvel #marvel shit #steve rogers meta #marvel meta

[five-miles-over]

Holiday Gift Ideas for Joaquin Phoenix Characters

(Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters or images. This is just a fun listicle, not designed to offend anyone. As always, please feel free to leave comments and/or constructive criticism below. Thank you, and without any further ado, please enjoy!)

Characters in this List: Arthur Fleck, Joker, Theodore Twombly, Jimmy Emmett, Doug Holt, Doc Sportello, Freddie Quell, Johnny Cash, Max California, Merrill Hess, Ray Elwood, Bruno Weiss, Abbé de Coulmier, Joe, Lucius Hunt, and Emperor Commodus.

Arthur Fleck from Joker: A cookie gift box (or homemade Cookies), an evening with good conversation and company, and perhaps a dance

I’m not sure from where I heard this from, but there was a tumblr post that said Arthur really loved ‘Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer’ - so that’s why the vinyl record is there. Also, Arthur would be happy to spend the holidays with good company and delicious cookies. (He deserves to have a sweet Christmas and a dance with someone who will enjoy being twirled by him.)

Joker from Joker: Green Hair Dye and a Cigarette Lighter

The green hair dye never hurts because it is something Joker probably needs all the time. Also, I thought the pin-up girl on the vintage cigarette lighter would amuse Joker.

Theodore Twombly from Her: Calligraphy Set 

I think a calligraphy set would appeal to Theodore because it would give him a break from his tech-filled world, and indulge in something a bit old-fashioned. It’s great for someone who wants to believe in a romance that many around him see as outdated.

Jimmy Emmett from To Die For: A brand new denim jacket and an M&M candy cane

The denim jacket might fit with Jimmy’s grunge aesthetic, and the M&Ms are there because Jimmy likes candy of all kinds.

Doug Holt from Inventing the Abbotts: An Elvis Presley poster and a nice wallet

The Elvis Presley poster is a bit of a nod to the beginning of Inventing the Abbotts, when Doug draws fake sideburns before going to a party. The song he’s humming in this scene is ‘Heartbreak Hotel’, hence the poster. Also, the wallet is a nice, classy gift for any guy entering adulthood.

Doc Sportello from Inherent Vice: An ornate hookah

It was either this or tarot cards for this pot-smoking, hippie P.I. It might suit his eclectic taste.

Freddie Quell from The Master: A bottle of fine scotch whiskey

It’s a good gift for someone who enjoys alcohol. Plus, it might be a good break from mixing questionable cocktails.

Johnny Cash from Walk the Line: A Watch

A watch is a timeless gift, just like Johnny Cash’s music :)

Max California from 8 MM: Grim Reaper socks, nipple rings, and a steampunk choker

It was tempting to pick something dirty or X-rated for Max’s gift, but since he works in an adult store, I thought why not choose something that encouraged Max’s personal style. Hence, the nipple rings (which would look great under a mesh shirt) and a steampunk choker that looks like it has a phoenix on it.

Merrill Hess from Signs: A hot chocolate gift basket, and a baseball mug

Merrill Hess would probably enjoy hot chocolate during the holidays with his niece and nephew, so the hot chocolate gift basket seemed suitable. Also, I thought the mug would be funny for our favorite baseball professional (even though he can’t drink from it while the kids are around).

Ray Elwood from Buffalo Soldiers: A Beer Gift Basket and Playboy Magazines

The Playboy magazines might be entertaining for Elwood (obviously), plus charging others to read them would be a great way to make extra money on the side. Also, the beer gift basket would be a nice care package for someone overseas in an army bunker.

Bruno Weiss from The Immigrant: Cufflinks and Cologne

Cufflinks and cologne are things that make almost any man feel debonair. For a man like Bruno, with a taste for the finer things, a great set of cufflinks and an unforgettable scent would give him a great impression with other businessmen.

Abbé de Coulmier from Quills: A scarf and a day of playing with abandoned kittens

Abbé is someone more interested in simplistic gifts, rather than in over-the-top, expensive gifts. So perhaps a knitted scarf would be nice for those cold days in Charenton. And because Abbé enjoys altruistic events, he’d be delighted to play with kittens that need warmth during the holidays.

Joe from You Were Never Really Here: Noise-cancelling Headphones

This gift may sound a bit strange at first, but it might be nice for Joe to wear when he’d like to relax. It might also help him deal with noisy areas, or listen to calming meditation music while trying to sleep.

Lucius Hunt from The Village: Tea Set and an assortment of tea bags

I think Lucius Hunt would appreciate a warm cup of tea during cold nights in the village. Also, the strawberry decorations make this tea set a good addition to any cottage. 

Emperor Commodus from Gladiator: A spa day, a bouquet of flowers, white chocolate truffles, and a full hug. 

Given how stressful it can be ruling over a large empire, a day of relaxation (think hot stone massages, facials, manicures, pedicures) would be a nice change. The white chocolate truffles are a way to pay homage to his iconic armor that he wears for his duel in the Colosseum. 

And for the full hug...it goes without saying that the Emperor of Rome deserves many of these year-round, not just during the holidays

Also, a question for anyone reading this: If you had to pick a Joaquin Phoenix character to spend the holidays with, who would you pick?

#joaquin phoenix #Joaquin Phoenix movies #arthur fleck #joker #joker 2019 #her 2013 #theodore twombly #doug holt #inventing the abbotts #to die for #jimmy emmett #Ray Elwood #buffalo soldiers #walk the line #max california #8 mm #doc sportello #inherent vice #bruno weiss #the immigrant #merrill hess #Signs movie #freddie quell #the master #commodus #emperor commodus #abbe de coulmier #quills movie #lucius hunt #the village

[beelieveinfandom]

Convo from the 18+ discord about a very silly star wars crossover I wanted to share.

gremgeous the gem pillar Just had a GREAT idea for a star wars crossover Just dipper visiting the star wars universe for whatever reason (multiverse vacation maybe? Idk. Dipper maybe dusted off that old portal in a fit of nostalgia or smth) and palpatine finds him and tries to tempt alcor to his side by offering him power Standard stuff for the sith really Except Well If you offer a demon unspecified power, in what form are they going to take it if not in the one who is offering's soul? Biggest and best tasting power boost there is, really! And then maybe he takes over the empty shell of a body afterwards which may or may not grant him force acess and alcor has a grand old time making a mess out of running the republic (or at least running lose in the senate) This is like... early prequals or pre-preauals era maybe. When palpafucker is still undercover and being all covert and unsuspicious and stuff I call this.... "palpatines penechance for grand speeches and unspecific ominous statements to try and seem all powerful and cool and dramatic fuck him over" Or in shorter terms ... . "There's a demon lose in the senate" And it basically runs like that one john mullaney bit With a side dashing of that one journak 3 thing where bill posesses a guy, messes with a roman army and then makes a guys head explode Also like nobody knows who alcor is or that hes even there bc theres no demons or dream demons in star wars (that i know of) so he gets the run of the place Even moreso than back home in gravity falls bc no one knows magic, its all "force this" and "force that" Dippered probably spends a lot of time nerding out over the different alien species since they dont have those back in his dimension (theyve got aliens but theyre different kinds) and also about the laser swords (just like the one Grunkle Ford made for them all (Ford, Dipper, Mabel, Stan, Soos, Grenda, Candy, Grendas boyfriend, Pacifica, and even waddles and gompers)  back in 2017! Good times, good times.)

swbeeworm oh this sounds like fun

gremgeous the gem pillar Right???

swbeeworm if i was familiar enough with the star wars universe to write anything in it i'd give this a shot

gremgeous the gem pillar right???

swbeeworm like i know star wars?? but i don't know star wars n i have to know something to be confident in writing it

gremgeous the gem pillar Sadly everything i know comes from time travel fixit and semi-salty pro-jedi meta

swbeeworm but just.... the sheer chaotic potential of this...

gremgeous the gem pillar Gosh yes....... Oh its be so good..........

swbeeworm oh mood it would be

gremgeous the gem pillar @Abigor u like star wars too gimme ur thooooughts When ur awake and have them to give

swbeeworm ugh i should. probably not be awake, i have stuff to do tomorrow n i have a headache but this is fun to think about

gremgeous the gem pillar I had another thing thats fun to think abt too Clone wars era, alcors there and everyon thinks hes a brand new sith player b/c gold eyes

swbeeworm just the shenanigans. the bullshittery. the sheer what-le-fuck reactions of everyone from the senate to the jedi to the people ooooooooo

gremgeous the gem pillar YES!!! Exactly.

gremgeous the gem pillar Oooooh jedi can do mind things i wonder what alcor wpuld feel like to them

swbeeworm my first instinctive responses were: 1) constant Screaming and a whirlwind mishmash of colors/concepts/etc that makes everyone who 'looks' too long start bleeding thru the nose/eyes 2) wii music on loop and these are VERY different prompts to have back to back but that's what i got

gremgeous the gem pillar AKDHSGGSHD I LOVE IT Oh what if its both at the same time Ajdhegdhdj what rven is the music like in star wars anyway

swbeeworm the fkin,,,, cantina music

gremgeous the gem pillar Like how would they react when confronted w wii music

swbeeworm is the equivalent i would think

gremgeous the gem pillar Do they even have the same sorts of instruments do they even know what electronic music is

swbeeworm just. that spawned another Thought imagine that the cantina music from That One Scene is the sw-equivalent of the wii music and just.  just imagine that same scene playing but with wii music on loop in the background

gremgeous the gem pillar Gosh "wii music on loop" i love it AODHDHSHSJD

swbeeworm it would probably FIT they have the same vibe

gremgeous the gem pillar Im crying Mits so good

swbeeworm sdjlksdafj i saw a post the other day that was talking abt the music there n how it kept playing on loop n the poster joked that it might have been like,, the john mulaney salt-pepper-diner-story situation which is only tangentially related to this topic but i had to recall it

gremgeous the gem pillar AJSHH i love that Gosh ok i feel like take 1 would fit with the new sith in town scenario And take 2 fits with theres a demon lose in the senate

swbeeworm sfsdkfjh yES

gremgeous the gem pillar But how FUCKING HILARIOUS would it be if in the senate story its the former, and in the oh so serious sith story its the wii music on loop im akdhsjdvsjdhsjbd

swbeeworm ASLDJSLKFJ plEASE take 1: gritty, serious, angst, deadly miscommunications--and fucking wii music on loop take 2: lighthearted, cracky, shenanigans and bullshittery--and fucking bleeding out the eyes if you try n read the guy talk about dissonance

gremgeous the gem pillar "Big scary sith! Look at the yellow eyes! What dastardly plots cpuld he be thinking/partaking in....." [Hard cut to alcor pov/inside alcors head] wii music plays as he stares off into space during a supposedly very important meeting

gremgeous the gem pillar OH I DO LOVE THE DISSONANCE Gsjdgysgsvsjgd wheeze its so good i love it

swbeeworm me tooooo .....for the sith one. would ppl see blue fire n think lightning

gremgeous the gem pillar Theyd probably think its some other secret sith technique

swbeeworm fair enough

gremgeous the gem pillar Everyone thinks one of the other sith lines that was supposedly wiped out had it since this sith deffs aint the line of bane- even the cirrent sith wanna know where alcors popped in from "Lightning was the bane line specialty.... guess where ever this kids guys from fire was theirs"

swbeeworm= adjlsdfkjlfkjf the shenanigans n bullshittery one imagine alcor-as-palpatine just. going incorporeal, still visible but not able to be touched, and the jedi go from "what the fuck is going on"  to "why the fuck is he  a force ghost"

gremgeous the gem pillar AJSGSHSGSHSA

swbeeworm alcor, who'd done it only bc his ~ornate robes~ had got so caught/tangled on something he could only get free by phasing through it: ??????

gremgeous the gem pillar wheeze Alcor: how the fuck did this guy move around in these AJDHSGDH ALCOR NOT KNOWING ABOUT THE SITH- SHOWS UP TO THE SENATE IN THE SITH ROBES

swbeeworm asdlkjsfkjsdfdf

gremgeous the gem pillar CALLS IT A "FASHION STATEMENT" WHEN CALLED OUT ON IT

swbeeworm a fASHION STATEMENT YES alcor: :blobsweats: alcor: what the FUCK is a sith alcor: and why do they have better style than the jedi

gremgeous the gem pillar WHEEZE He doesnt know jack shit abt the jedi or anything hes just vibing!!!!!!

swbeeworm yesssssss

gremgeous the gem pillar AJDGSGGDJS YOU KNOW WHATVWPUKD BE EVEN BETTER ALCOR THINKS THE SITH LOOK IS TACKY AF

swbeeworm alcor: no listen. listen. i picked these space robes out of my space wardrobe because they looked cool, not because i'm part of some. some space cult ljflskdajfslkdfjsd

gremgeous the gem pillar BUT HE STILL THINKS ITS BETTER THAN THE JEDI

swbeeworm that's even better

gremgeous the gem pillar space cult im HOWLING

swbeeworm you KNOW he'd be so excited at being in space this DORK

gremgeous the gem pillar Ph gosh imagine it starts out all dark and serious and angsty and creepy in the whole beginning exchange But as soon as the day after alcor takes up palps role hits it takes a sharp turn into crack terriotry

gremgeous the gem pillar OH HE WOULD

swbeeworm yESSSS

gremgeous the gem pillar Alcor takes one look at dooku and is like "youre the only one aroynd here with any sort of fashion sense" "And its HORRIBLE"

swbeeworm sljflskdjfsd

gremgeous the gem pillar Just roasts him And by extension everyone else too

swbeeworm dooku has NO IDEA what's going on but at this point ""palpatine"" or whatever's taken over him is ten minutes into a rant abt the layers on layers of boring robes jedi wear and at this point he'll take the backhanded compliment about his own style

gremgeous the gem pillar Akehdsjfssksgsjd

swbeeworm just to shut him up

gremgeous the gem pillar AKDHDJDGDJDHD Alco goes on a 30 minute rant on why suits are SO much more professional

swbeeworm snaps "palpatine" into a suit and goes "...except maybe for this guy idk if anything could make him look good"

gremgeous the gem pillar And its more of a backhanded insukt than a backhanded compliment but anything to shut the guy up, right?

swbeeworm how much we roasting palpatine here

gremgeous the gem pillar To a blackened crisp

swbeeworm as it should be

gremgeous the gem pillar Its better than his wrinkly old rasin look anyday

swbeeworm lskjdlsakjfdf agreed

gremgeous the gem pillar Be hard NOT to improve on that honestly But the dude sinks so low i bet hed somehow manage it

swbeeworm --alcor getting fed up w palpatine's body and just. showing up to the senate meetings, full alcor, eyes n his normal face n everything, in palpatine's robes, and when someone rightfully asks him who the hell is he, he just deadpans "i'd think by this point you'd recognize your own chancellor" and just straight insists he's palpatine (and has the knowledge to back it up) every time someone sputters

gremgeous the gem pillar Also i included the bit abt the journal 3 thing bc my saga of alcor repeating bill's patterns, behaviors, and ideas unknowlingly and without awareness that that is what he is doing shall continue >:3c

gremgeous the gem pillar AODHAJDBAKWJHEVEJDJDHSHSHSJWOWKJEHEE I LOVE IT OH HOW I LOVE OT ALSOWHSKJDISOSOAJAIW Oh gosh what if he fuckin

swbeeworm because at this point it's less about blending in and more about trolling the whole senate and being as distracting as possible  because with everyone paying attention to his trolling theyre less likely to notice the bills for clone rights n abolishing slavery n such that he's pushing thru in the background misdirection at its finest

gremgeous the gem pillar I was gonna say a thing abt alcor replacing palps b4 the election and so they did elect alcor to chancelorhoood But it might be funnier if he took him over AFTER abd still says that bit abt recognizing their own chancellor Oh gosh in that secind scenario it would be hilarious if the jedi are all  :blobglare: @alcor except for obi-wan who is all like "i am looking away" bc at least THIS guy (whiever the hell he is) has stopped being such a creep abt anakin

swbeeworm the jedi are sent in to figure out wtf is going on and. they, unfortunately, bewilderingly, confirm that this is the same person as the chancellor who'd been showing up recently??? same wii music/bleeding effect??

swbeeworm alcor, finding appointments with some random jedi kid on palpatine's calendar: wtf why is this creep trying to meet with a kid alone, yeah how about i cancel that

gremgeous the gem pillar AKDJDJD Alcor, looking at palpatibes planner: "every day i am more and more glad that i ate thig guys soul" "Like i knew it was oily but im suprised i havent got an upset stomach from it yet"

swbeeworm sjlskdfjsdf alcor the next day, after finding stuff abt the order 66 chip things, gagging: "i spoke too soon"

gremgeous the gem pillar Obi-wan to the council: hmm? Yes this is totally the chancellor, i know this because of all the previous meetings and close relationship he has had with my padawan which you allowed and helped facillitate- "Palpatine":[has a completley different body type, height, and face. Plus he actually has hair and is maybe even floating a little but its hard to be sure in those black and gold robes- and with a completely different voice] oh, yeah, totally, Im the chancellor and i totally know who this guy and that kid is yup yup yup-

gremgeous the gem pillar [UGLY LAUGHTER] AkdjskkdkdjsysAODJSJEUEIEIIEF

swbeeworm ASDKAFDF "palpatine": [grins with very sharp teeth at a nervous senator] council: "okay that is NOT normal" obi-wan, deadpan: "i'm sorry, it sounds like you're discriminating against non-human beings? that's not very jedi of you now is it"

gremgeous the gem pillar ALDHDJDHD Wait wait no what if its "This is completely normal behavior. I, as a human, know this for certain" "I can do this too, but i dont, because it is impolite, but hes the chancellor he can do whatever he wants"

swbeeworm asldksajflksdfjsdf;jsdf yes yes beautiful

gremgeous the gem pillar Alcor and obi-wan team up to be passive agressive at everyone who allowed palps and anakin to hang out ABOUT them letting an unsupervised minor chill w a suoer duper old guy Shoulda had a chaperone at LEAST Butalso

swbeeworm the other humans on the council: "uh, actually-" obi-wan: [manages to sip tea (which he shouldn't even have access to in a council meeting btw) with an aggressively polite smile and silent Threat] the other humans: "....um."

gremgeous the gem pillar "Thats not very jedi of you now is it" AODHSJSIDHALSVD IM HOWLING I LOVE IT THE SASS wheeze*

swbeeworm i live for obi-wan sass it gives me LIFE

gremgeous the gem pillar SAME oh its so good Love that one post where obj-wan is on tatooine and calls all the force ghosts to view his powperpoint presentation about how letting palps have acess to analin was a bad idea as hed been saying all along-

swbeeworm u need to know i wrote this with the "that's not very plus ultra of you" meme, which is a bnha offshoot of the "that's not very cash money of you" meme, in my head on repeat

gremgeous the gem pillar Ph him terrorizing all the people palpatine had in his pocket...... Ok this is veering into even MORE crack territory but at some poibt alcor replaces, uh, whats the dudes name, palps second in command - mess something-or-other? - with a nightmare Not just ANY nightmare But a DIFFERENT nightmare each day

swbeeworm ASDLSDFKLDJF PLEASE

gremgeous the gem pillar They took it upon themselves to go on rotation They couldn't decide who should go when alcor proposed the idea so its everyone One at a time They dont even look REMOTELY human Or like anything the galaxy has ever known or seen And theres no "secretive supernatural species" excuse for them to fall back on here lmao

swbeeworm random dude: "what is that???" alcor, cheerful: "that's my assistant" rd: "is that--is that supposed to be a sheep?" alcor: "no they're my assistant" nightmare: [sound that, if you ignore the reverb and microphone-screeching and kazoo effects, might be a "baaa"] alcor: [smiles aggressively wider with sharp teeth] rd: [sweats nervously]

gremgeous the gem pillar ALDJDKSIEJEHAJWJWHEI Obi-wan: i am still l :eyes:king away Anakin: oooh, the wool is so soft master. Come feel it! Obi-wan: really? Ooh youre right The council: ....

swbeeworm rd: "okay but this is a DIFFERENT one than yesterday right?? right???" alcor: "i have absolutely no idea what you're talking about :)" obi-wan, still with tea he should not have, this time with space whiskey mixed in: "sir i think you might be seeing things, they are clearly the same individual as yesterday"

gremgeous the gem pillar Mace: ...hrm it is quite soft- The rest of the council: ??? When did he get-

gremgeous the gem pillar AKDJDJDHDHD JUST LYING THROUGH HIS TEETH ALDJDHFJF

swbeeworm obi-wan looking mace dead in the eye and chugging his spiked tea which is more whiskey than tea at this point: "how dare you accuse me of lying.  me, after everything i've done for this council.  i am betrayed.  heartbroken.  never shall trust again.  i am leaving until i recover" -and promptly fucks off on a vacation with anakin

gremgeous the gem pillar The jedi start getting a LOT more missions about busting slave rings and giving aid in the outer rim - plus some more dimplomacy docused ones in regards to solving teeaties instead of putting down rebellions

-alcor shows up on the vacation with zero explanation and obi-wan at this point is like "fuck it why not" -a nightmare takes his place in palpatine's robes in the senate for the week they're gone

gremgeous the gem pillar ALSJSHDJDJSKDHEE Weirdly enough some of the more corrupt senators go missing after that week No one knows what hapoebed to them but the robes the "chancellor" wore that week have some awfully suspicious stains WAIT WAIT WHAT IF ITS NOT A NIGHTMARE WHAT IF ITS GOMPERS alcor didn't even ASK gompers to be there he was planning to not even warn anyone n just vanish but gompers just SHOWED UP the nightmares were the ones who put the robes on him

gremgeous the gem pillar Alcor doesn't even KNOW gomoers is there He gets back after the week and is like "what the heck" The nightmares are pretty proud of themselves for that one

swbeeworm the nightmares, collectively: "this is gonna be HILARIOUS" alcor, halfway across the galaxy, sees a newsfeed of a senate meeting with gompers in the robes in his place, and spits his drink clear across the room

he's only mad because he didn't think of it in the first place

gremgeous the gem pillar wheeze Hes proud of them

swbeeworm he IS

gremgeous the gem pillar Its so HILARIOUS

swbeeworm i pity anyone trying to read this mess later but i hope we at least make them laugh once

gremgeous the gem pillar Same Its such a joy Alcor teaches anakin the secret to mabel juice

swbeeworm oh no

gremgeous the gem pillar Only the children thank him The minders.... not so much

swbeeworm alcor: "okay so what i'm hearing is, the adult jedi have been making Stupid Decisions and not paying as much attention to the kids, as evidenced by them letting that one kid have meetings one on one with the creepy older guy i stopped putting effort into impersonating a month ago. so, clearly what needs to happen is something that forces the adults to pay attention to the kids and start keeping a closer eye on them, but it can't be something that actually hurts the kids because then i'd feel bad" alcor: "...." alcor: :blobamused:

gremgeous the gem pillar akdhdjsgshsjhdsjdjdj

swbeeworm alcor in a totally not suspicious trench coat and sunglasses: "hey. hey, kid. you wanna try some mabel juice?"

gremgeous the gem pillar AKDJDJDJDLFKFIFJIF WHEEZE "With the creepy older guy i stopped putting effort into impersonating a month ago" ALDJDBDJDJDDHDHDJDJDJDJDJDJDJSJDJEJEJE

gremgeous the gem pillar AKSJSHDJDJF

swbeeworm star wars kids: "mr chancellor why are you wearing that" alcor: "because i think it's funny" kids: "it isn't" alcor: "look do you want the juice or not"

gremgeous the gem pillar I LOVE ALL OF THAT LOOK DO YOU WANT THE JUICE OR NOT

swbeeworm i am having WAY too much fun with this ldjsldkfjdsf;

gremgeous the gem pillar "Were not supposed to take drugs from strangersl" "Its not- just take it!"

Hooooh man thats so funny Oh gosh Alcor uses a different time/date system

Than the star wars one

swbeeworm ooooooo yes

gremgeous the gem pillar Nit super sure where im going with this but.... Pretty sure he woukdnt know the star wars one At all Maybe the in-umuverse knockoff calendar maybe Hes wnough of a nerd to have that memorized But the star wars proper one

No, no i dont think he knows that one

swbeeworm nope no chance

gremgeous the gem pillar Omg yes

gremgeous the gem pillar Well its a good thing we have this..... and the mistaken sith version too :blobamused:

WAIT WAIT QAIT FLASH OF INSPIRATION ALCOR GIVING ANAKIN THE STRANGER DANGER PPT

swbeeworm i have 1 scene i can think of that actually almost made my friend cry and i have 1 au scene of a different au of mine where a character who canonically dies and gets brought back to life...doesn't come back (which is extra angst bc this is a Ghost Seeing Fic) and both of these i wrote at like 3-4am

swbeeworm SDFJKSDLFSJf YES :blobamused:

gremgeous the gem pillar Alcor: "you know, i usually save this one for the kids who followed the stranger with the nice candy into the alleyway and end up as sacrifices but I feel like you could benefit from it too"

swbeeworm alcor: "no talking to suspicious ppl" anakin: "except you right?" alcor: "....in any other situation i'd say no but if i say that you're just gonna up and leave (i see that grin thanks very much) so in this one singular personal case it is fine that you trust my very suspicious self"

gremgeous the gem pillar AKSJSJDJJD "My very suspicious self" Aksjdhdd

swbeeworm obi-wan, straight up knocking back shots now: "the man has a point anakin"

gremgeous the gem pillar Haha nice Obi-wan is taking notes Hes also re-inventing alcoholic mabel juice He weaseled the recipie out of the kids

swbeeworm asldfkjsdlkfjd imagine if somehow SIDIOUS CAME BACK and tries to take back over the senate but everyone at this point is used to alcor and one of two things happens: 1) they assume this is alcor messing with them with a clone/double (they don't know how he'd do it but at this point given his "assistants", the goat that somehow made more eloquent speeches than the "human", and the other things involved, they wouldn't put it past him) and just ignore him 2) they look between the real palpatine who'd been pushing thru some very sketchy bills, and between alcor who's been sneaking through law after law protecting all kinds of sentients, and they turn back to palpatine and go "how dare you impersonate the chancellor" and kick him out

swbeeworm at this point he deserves it tbh

gremgeous the gem pillar AKDJDJDHFDJDJDJD Ok i preffer him dead and gone and forgotten in favor of alcor (its what he deserves) but oh those are hilarious

swbeeworm agreed to both counts alsdjalsdk

gremgeous the gem pillar ESPECIALLY if the senate chooses to keep alcor over palps XD Ph man we can work that into him being dead and gone too- alcor starts dispersing the power and the other half of the senate w bail and padme are like "yeah seems legit" along w obi-wan The jedi only put like, a token effort into investigating and are more put out by trying to figure out what happened to the real palpatine and all his past shady dealings than exposing the current "palpatine" for a fake

swbeeworm palpatine: "excuse me?? i am the chancellor of this republic" councilmembers, with the same deadpan as alcor's been pulling on them all year: "sir, i think you're confused. this is the chancellor" [points to alcor, in palpatine's robes from his closet, making no attempt to hide his lack of resemblance to palpatine, with a nightmare at his side wearing a small top hat that proclaims its position as "chancellor's assistant"] palpatine: [screams of frustration]

gremgeous the gem pillar Once they reaize the shift in mission assignments can be attributed to new palp

gremgeous the gem pillar AKDJDJDJSJSJSBEJSJSJSHSJSKS

swbeeworm yesss this

gremgeous the gem pillar I wanna say maul gets the joy and pleasure of offibg palpatine the second time in that version

swbeeworm FINALLY they get a chance to pull one back over on someone, pass along the suffering a little bit

swbeeworm oh definitely

oh shit we've been at this for an hour

gremgeous the gem pillar Maul comes back and offs palps and evrryone is jist like "Maul!!! How?!?" And completley ignore the palpatibe corpse 2.0 Ajdhhd so we have Niiiight book

Also from a tumblr post the phrase "your pal friendpatine" is hilarious and i think yall shoukd enjoy it too As is "SOMEHOW... MAUL RETURNS" Both taken from the same post lol Okokok so switchibg tracks for a bit Revisiting Some groundwork for the mistaken sith version Alcor is there..... because al-v was there first, made friends with the droid army mid clone war, and caled his dad in to help Which puts alcors initial point of contact as the separost foot soldiers

gremgeous the gem pillar No matter what the dominant language alcor has most recently been using OH OH OH ALCOR WITH ACESS TO OTHER UNIVERSE SLANG CONFUSING ALL THE SENATE WITH HIS NONSENSICAL PHRASES AND IDIOMS AND SLANG/PROFANITY LIKE "over the moon" AND "hot belgian waffles" AND "fuck" "Palpatine": [drops paperwork he JUST spent so much time disorganizing (as in putting in a dissaray)] FUCK Senator: .... sir, what is a 'fuck' "Palpatine": ......... im not explaining that to you Or conversley he makes smth up Alcor, upon realizing the most common swear word is "kriff': yeaht hats stupid im not saying that Alcor mercilessly roasting the star wars profanity And how stupid they all sound. This one is great for the al-v and alcor make friend w a droid army and maybe-sorta steal them while massivelt confusing and mystifying everyone along the way, bc why not add a language barrier on top of all the other assumptions and misunderstandings >:D But also at the same time it would make sense for him to have got thw local language in an infodump somewhere along the line (maybe an older version) if its located in a different galaxy but the same universe........... but also what if theyre just suoer far away so he didnt get priority acess...... or even if he traveled back in time ............. [Shrug] idk Mwanwhile inexplicably having the same language is hilarious in the demon lose in the senate ons but also imagine alcor pretending to be palpatine while unable to speak the common tongue lolol I know it wouldnt work (he has to be able to understand palpatine on some level to take MASSIVE advantage of him and eat his soul) but it is hilarious to think abt the shenanigans............ OH GOSH ALCOR TAKING CONTROL OF THE SENAT BUT BEING UNABLE TO R E A D AKDBSKSKJFF Okokok Imagine the basic/english language inexplicably being the same structure w a few different words and concepts...... when spoken And completley different when written down SO ALCOR CAN SPEAK BUT HE CANT READ Meanwhile in mistaken for a sith land alcor either doesnt have any knowledge of the local language or else gets a SUPER OLD AND POSSIBLE DEAD LANGUAGE in an infodump (to help feed the misunderstandings and rumors and future clashes w the sith and the jedi hehhehheh) bc semi-omniscience is not total omniscience and so is not everything and, once again, is not very helpful But ill leave off for tonight on the thought of alcor, lose in the senate, in the seat of the chancellor, lord of all paperwork for the galactic republic....... and able to read NONE of it And barely understands it too (demons are not ones for politics, Brian the Organ Duck and his 200 year sucessful presidency run aside) (his is soemthing of the exception, not the rule.) Meanwhile all those humanitarian aid bills and the like are all being passed by bail and padmes group all over the place bc their strange and inexplicable source of resistance was devoured like, a week ago Not ones to look a gift horse in ths mouth until AFTER they get what they want the group passes a ton of bills without delay - and manages to break up a few monopolies along the way Now im not saying that "palpatine" suddenly acting off and the bills facing a lot less resistance is a noticeable coincidence...... and around the same time he stops asking after anakin ............... but im totally saying they notice it and realize its probably, absolutely, not a coincidence and theyre not going to say anything bc they like this new "palpatine" better. Despite all the other mindbending weirdness and mindfuckery going on there The jedi are only mad abt alcor bc a few of their own started bleeding from the eyes nose and ears when they tried to investigate initially so theyre a little ticked off abt that, which, fair.

Also the blantant lying and lack of trying on alcors part is a little insulting to them as a whole ("does he think we'll really fall for that") and is slightly concerning to them ("who the heck is this, someone is inpersonating the chancellor of the ENTIRE REPUBLIC-" Which is, admittedly, a little concern worthy)  but if the council is honest (or some of the council anyway) with themselves its pretty much the darn best entertainmnt theyve had in a good long while, headaches aside, sot ehyll focus more on the okd palpatines dissapernace and dealings than the new "palpatine" so long as he doesnt start doing anything ACTIVELY damaging to the republic. A little mischief doesnt technically count as harm- and hey theys preffer to find the og chancellor b4 upsetting and potnetially causing the new one to do smth drastic by attsmpting to out him (not that alcor would, its so much funnier to deny everything to their faces while blatantly lying but they dont know that. So caution (and stress) it is)

#Transcendence AU #Discord Convo

[justkirethings]

INTRODUCE YOURSELF

01 – What's your name? Master Obi-Wan Kenobi.

02 – Are you male or female? Male.

03 – What age are you? 35.

04 – Describe yourself. I suppose I’m a little over average height for a human male. Some would say that my hair is red, but it’s more of a reddish-brown regardless of what any handmaidens may say. My eyes are blue. Just blue. I’ve got a beard, same color as my hair.

05 – What do you do for a living? Jedi Master and General of the Grand Army of the Republic.

06 – Choose five words that describe your personality. Oh, dear. Well, average? Sort of intelligent. Kind. Patient. Witty.

INTRODUCE YOUR SUBJECT

07 – What is their name? Kiré Tolod.

08 - How do you know them? She’s a… friend. She’s a handmaiden to Senator Amidala, who I have known for many years now.

09 – Describe them in three sentences. Miss Tolod is very compassionate and protective of those she cares about. Well, even total strangers as the case may very well be sometimes. She is loud and brash, but also, somehow, incredibly soft and warm. She’s intelligent and clever and witty and also one of the most reckless and brave individuals I have ever met.

PHYSICAL TRAITS

10 – Are they male or female? Female.

11 – How old are they? 20 years old.

12 - Describe them. She’s definitely rather petite. Barely shorter than Senator Amidala. She has long hair, usually plaited in golden braids down her back, unless she’s just taken whatever elaborate hairstyle down and then golden curls or waves. She has striking violet eyes and a small, heart-shaped face.

13 – Do they have any distinguishing features; scars or tattoos? No, a few freckles across her cheeks, but nothing more than that.

14 – Are they fit; Athletic.  Do they do any sports? She’s slim, however, not exactly athletically built. To the best of my knowledge, the closest she gets to any kind of sports activities is sparring on occasion with Dormé, a fellow handmaiden, to upkeep her abilities.

15 – What about Illnesses, War Wounds or Physical Disabilities? None.

SKILLS AND ABILITIES

16 - What would you say is their best ability? She is an excellent artist and, to the best of my limited knowledge on fashion and style, very skilled at the art of designing outfits for Senator Amidala.

17  - What do they think their best ability is? Is her own appearance a viable answer? Oh, or, ehm, more delicate—intimate—abilities, if you happened to ask her, I suppose.

18 - What else are they good at? Cooking, hair styling, makeup looks, witty comebacks, flirting, rivaling Anakin with foolish and reckless ideas, convincing others to do whatever she might want them to do.

19 - What are they not good at? Making plans? I’m not entirely sure, give me a moment… Walking without tripping over air most times? Oh, holding her temper back, I suppose. Unless she is in her handmaiden mindset, I suppose.

20 - Do they have any artistic talent? From what I have seen, far more than most, I must say.

21 - What about Musical Ability? She can play at least one instrument, I believe.

22 - Are they good at a particular sport? To the best of my knowledge, no. Although, I am also not too familiar with any particular type of sport native to Naboo, I must say.

23 - What about combat; can they fight? Yes, she is quite skilled at combat. I would certainly hate to be on the receiving end of one of her blows, at least.

24 - Do they have any... powers or abilities you would describe as supernatural or superhuman? I’ve started to believe that she might be the tiniest bit Force-sensitive, but I could be mistaken.

PERSONALITY  AND INTERESTS

25 - If you had to choose one word to describe their personality; what would it be? Oh dear. Compassionate, I suppose?

26 - Can you expand on that? She would help anyone who needed assistance. Actually, that’s how she came to serve Senator Amidala. A man was harassing one of the Senator’s other handmaidens, a girl she didn’t previously know, and Kir— Miss Tolod broke the man’s fingers for not taking “no” as an answer. She is brave and has no fear that I have ever seen, so she would do whatever it took to help out anyone in distress who needed her help.

27 - What do you like best about them? Her kindness and warmth.

28 - What personality trait or behaviour particularly gets on your nerves? Her compassionate nature combined with her bravery tends to make her rather reckless. She tends to get herself into trouble more often than not.

29 -  Are they sociable; do they mix well with others? She tends to be the life of the party, from what I have heard about her in social interactions.

30 - Do they dress well?  Are they Fashionable? Quite fashionable. She prides herself on it, actually. And she always looks nice, though I must say I know very little about fashion.

31 - What would you say is important to them? Approval from those she cares about. She would never admit that, though, I must say.

 

32 - Do you know of any deep, dark secrets they keep buried? I—I suppose, but I very well will not be sharing any of those at the moment. They’re hardly mine to tell.

33 - Would you want them as an enemy; What sort of enemy would they make? I cannot imagine she would make a very pleasant enemy. She is determined in anything she does, so I am most certain she would be just as determined were we on opposing sides.

YOUR RELATIONSHIP

34 - How did you first meet? Me and Jedi Knight Anakin Skywalker, with his then-new Padawan learner Ahsoka Tano, had just returned from a mission. Senator Amidala was kind enough to invite us over for a meal and she was there.

35 -  Are you friends? Yes, of course. Miss Tolod likes to say that we are best friends, and I would hardly disagree with her. I’ve grown fond of her companionship.

36 -  Are you rivals? Absolutely not. We may bicker, quite often, if I might add, but we are friends, first and foremost.

37 - Are you Lovers? I— Of course not.

38 - Do you love them? ………As a friend.

39 - Do they love you? She likes to claim that she does.

40 - Who, if anyone, do you think they are in love with? She claims that the only person she is in love with is me.

41 - Are they currently in a relationship? I tend not to pry into her personal life. I believe Anakin has mentioned a secret lover, but it is certainly none of my business to press the issue on her.

42 - Do you like them? Of course I do. We’re friends.

43 - Do they like you? I would like to think so.

44 – How do you think they feel about children? She is definitely rather fond of children, from my experience. On one occasion to the Jedi Temple, her guide, Ahsoka, abandoned her and so I offered to let her accompany me on my way to the crèche. The younglings were immediately taken with her, as she was with them.

45 - What about their family? Her family is……a far more complicated issue that I would feel far more comfortable asking her to explain, in her own words, rather than me discussing personal information that I have no business being involved in.

46 – And finally.  If you could change one thing about them, what would it be? Nothing. If a single aspect of Miss Tolod was changed, any number of factors could also be altered and that would not be a risk I would be willing to take.

——————————————

These questions are absolutely not mine, I take no credit for them, I found them on a list of OC questions with a link to deviantart (so credit to the original poster) BUT I just wanted to do this honestly. I had fun answering all of them.

@shenanigans-and-imagines THERE they’re posted!!!!!!!!! 💜💜💜

#star wars prequels oc #Star Wars oc #Star Wars #Obi-Wan Kenobi #obi wan kenobi x oc #Obi-Wan #my oc #oc questions

[dreamaboutwhathappens]

the man was FILLED with easter eggs and metaphors. here they are!

1. being in the room where it happens

in the lyric video for the man, we see a woman working so hard to try and get to where all the men are -- on top, both physically and metaphorically. in the music video, we see The Man starting out here, just another normal day at the office. another normal day in charge, and on top.

2. “i’d be a fearless leader”

The Man not so much as walks into the room and makes a few comments before getting applause for his work. at the same time, every desk in this office can be seen with a mountain of papers, files, and books stacked on top of them. for all the hard work that these people are doing in this office, The Man gets all the applause for a fraction of it.

3. the subway

now, obviously what we have here is what you have on any and every subway or other form of local transportation -- that one asshole who feels entitled to take up as much space as he wants at the discomfort of everyone around him. while i could get into how mansplaining is a metaphor for men feeling the right to take up more space in society then women, i won’t. instead, i want to focus on all the little details on this subway that tell men they can. at the very, very top of the frame, we see text at the bottom of an ad that says “because you DESERVE what you want” and the posters on either side of The Man tell us “mother nature doesn’t stand a chance” and “capitalize on the feeling”. this is how society treats men. they should get to do whatever they want, based only on their feelings or wants. this notion will become important in the subway station.

shoutout to the girl in the miss americana hoodie! i think we can safely say she’s listening to lover on her headphones.

4. the newspaper

for this image, i turned the brightness WAYYY up so we could read the newspaper. the leading headline is “what man won the year in celebrity dating?” with the caption “who crushed it this year?” one headline says “years most eligible CEO’s” and another says “men in love in sports”. now, i don’t have to tell you that taylor swift was vilified for her relationships. these headlines show the difference between how men and women are treated when it comes to relationships. what’s it like to brag about getting bitches and models?

on the back cover, we see a contrast between how men and women are viewed in society. the ad dedicated towards men has a very strong and tough vibe to it, and the article beneath it carries the title “it’s men against boys with no ladies around.” in fact, the only mention we get of said “ladies” is in the “style section” where we see two sexy, rail thin women posing at fashion shows. while society views men for their strength, women are supposed to be objects of beauty and desire, and nothing more. 

5. here lies taylor swift’s reputation (and all her previous albums)

now, obviously, the sign says “missing, if found, please return to taylor swift” and grafitied on the walls are the names of the albums whose masters taylor does not own. remember when those ads on the subway told men that you DESERVE what you want? that’s what empowered The Men who stole taylor’s masters to take them. they wanted them, after all! let’s also remember that The Man is can be seen pissing on the wall in this shot. it’s a metaphor for The Men who own taylor’s old albums and are essentially pissing on all her hard work. we can also see “KARMA” written in big letters in the middle of all the albums, which invokes a lyric from look what you made me do: “all i think about is karma, and then the world moves on but one things for sure, maybe i got mine but you’ll all get yours”. pretty sure karma is coming for The Men who own taylor’s masters.

if you look closely, you can also see a sign to the left of The Man that says no scooters! sc*oter bra*n is not welcome at the 13th street station

6. “i’d be just like leo in st. tropez”

for your viewing pleasure, i have included an image of leo in st. tropez. we can see women in bikinis, and every sort of expensive, luxurious form of leisure you could think of. during the verse where we see The Man on the yacht, she sings “they’d say i hustled, put in the work, they wouldn’t shake their heads and question how much of this i deserve”. this is reminiscent of The Man when he was in the office and how, no matter how much work he did or didn’t do, he is heralded as a genius. the point of saying she’d be just like leo in st. tropez is not to try and call out leonardo dicaprio for going a cruise and having some fun. people should be entitled to celebrate and vacation however they please. the point is that women should be able to do the same thing.

7. The Man’s “walk of shame”

this is a metaphor for how men in society are treated when they take a misstep. while women can be criminalized and thrown the wolves, it appears that men always have people on their team, and in this case, hands lining up to be high-fived. men often are not held to the same standards as women, and even when they do something wrong, they face very little backlash for it, and normally have their own set of groupies or supporters telling them that they were really in the right (and they are allowed to believe it).

at the back of the hallway, there hangs a portrait of The Man pointing at the camera, as if to say “you ARE the man.” it feels like uncle sam, but in a “ i want YOU for us army whatever your heart desires” kind of way.

8. world’s greatest dad

the bar for men is so low that when they do the very minimum (in this case, merely look after their own child), they get commended for it. imagine if this were a woman. would she be applauded? no, she would probably be reprimanded for being on her phone and ignoring her child, like The Man did here.

9. bragging

this one is pretty self-explanatory. what’s it like to brag about raking in dollars and getting bitches and models? what’s it like when it’s all good if you’re bad and it’s okay if you’re mad? in this scene, we see The Man telling all his buddies about the bitches and models and dollars, and then freaking out on somebody. 

10. raking in dollars

who's on the 100 dollar bill? he is! the serial number on this bill also ends in 13. i thought there might be more hidden goodies here, but if there are, the video isn’t in high enough resolution to tell. the only other thing i can make out was that it said “for motion picture use only” which i thought would be an easter egg until i rendered it in photoshop and could read it clearly. oh well!

11. raising money for the women’s charity

a problem we see in society a lot is people of privilege being an ally only by action, not by everyday behavior. here, we see The Man benefitting a women’s charity, but all throughout the video we haven’t seen him go out of his way to respect or give a voice to women. even in this shot, a woman stands on the sidelines while The Man takes all the glory. while he raises money for women, he has no other character traits that show he actually cares about them. 

in a different shot of this scene, a water bottle from taylor’s merch can be seen on the sideline.

12. the unimpressed umpire

this is taylor’s dad! his name is scott. in a video full of mediocre men, scott is our resident Good Man :)

13. the freakout

in 2018, serena williams unleashed on an umpire who accused her of cheating and stuck her with her third penalty of the game -- penalties the whole crowd was certain she did not deserve. she even said at the time “To lose a game for saying that, it’s not fair. How many other men do things? There’s a lot of men out here who have said a lot of things. It’s because I am a woman, and that’s not right.” this is a DIRECT representation of this. it’s as they say, it’s all good if you’re bad, and it’s okay if you’re mad.

14. the hat

the hat our tennis attendant is seen wearing says “TS” in big letters, and in a circle around it, it says “i’d be a fearless leader, i’d be an alpha type.” taylor’s dad can also be seen wearing this hat.

15. the one where lover is NOT the happy couple’s first dance

first of all, this shit makes me SO uncomfortable. this is obviously an allusion to all the men who marry MUCH younger women, which is poignant because, again, taylor suffers mercilessly for her relationship choices, and they’re nowhere near as abhorrent as this. something also worth mentioning: scott borchetta is turning 58 this year. i’ll let you figure the rest out.

16. mr americana

any taylor swift fan will know that in january, taylor released a documentary with an intimate perspective on her life titled “miss americana” which focused a lot on the struggles taylor has overcome in her career. choosing miss americana to be a part of this video is a wise choice, because it highlights those same struggles that taylor is tackling in this music video. we can probably assume that mr americana faces significantly less struggles.

every part of this poster has been revamped to be man-centered, even down to the star role - tyler swift, not taylor.

17. take two

here, our director tells The Man that he needs to be sexier, and more likable. this reflects criticism that taylor and other women in the public eye hear almost daily. as i mentioned before, women in society are valued only as objects of beauty and desire, and here, we see the script flipped to bring that to light. 

in this final scene, we leave the fantasy world of the music video that The Man is starring in, and go to what appears to be a woman-dominated world, insinuating that the universe of the music video is one opposite to our own. this drives home the claim that if taylor were the man, she would be the man.

18. dwayne the rock johnson

i thought that having the rock voice The Man was really poignant. think about the rock’s career -- started out as a wrestler, is now an actor, but he’s known for his kindness and his dedication to social justice. if you asked me if he had ever been a part of any scandal, i would tell you no. and that’s exactly who The Man is. that’s exactly who this song is about, and that’s who taylor is. she has had an insanely successful career spanning over a decade, crossing into multiple different genres and fields, and excelling at all of it. she’s friendly, hard working, a social justice warrior, and a philanthropist. but all of those things are pushed aside in favor of the negative. using the rock as The Man was the perfect way of finishing off the statement,

“if i was a man, i’d be the man.”

#the man #taylor swift #directed by taylor swift #lover #the man music video #this took me SO LONG to finish #i've had class and meetings all day so i have been writingi it since like eight am #BUT I FINALLY FINISHED IT #ii'm sure some of these things have already been said #but i just love writing posts like this so much #and this video was FILLED with meaningful and poignant stuff #i can't get OVER it #this video said EVERYTHING #i..... #there's nothing left to be said #i love it so much #random thoughts with grace

[bexterbex]

A Soul to Mend His Own | Ch. 24

Warning, if it hasn’t been obvious in the movies there is Nazi symbolism within the First Order. I will expand on this much more throughout the story. If this is something that bothers you, please just exit the story. The author does not condone any Nazi ideals, this is just for fictional uses only.

A Kylo Ren x Modern! Reader in a soulmate au with some canon divergence. —————————————SLOWBURN————————————–

He is already the Supreme leader, searching the universe to find you, his Empress. Your name on his wrist has been the only constant in his life, while you have doubts about his existence and his acceptance of you. He isn’t in the database and why did the name Kylo Ren cover Ben Solo?

MASTERLIST

Chapter 24: Think of the Children

“Before we begin, I have been informed by First Order High Command and the Supreme Leader this morning that per our discussion yesterday I have an update on the child restriction policy. Earth will become a two-child planet in 5 years' time. Any child conceived before that deadline will be grandfathered in. There may be exceptions to this case but otherwise, the Supreme Leader’s decision is final,” said Dr. Koroban.

Wait what? Kylo made this decision? In the beginning, it felt like he trusted you, with your own planet. But now you were beginning to see the truth, that the man behind the mask was the same man with the mask. If only he knew what repercussions were going to happen with this policy, he might then change his mind.

“So our discussion yesterday had no meaning. Do any of our discussions have meaning then? Are all of our decisions going to be overruled by the Supreme Leader,” asked the Surgeon General.

“The Supreme Leader has the final word on any decision we make. If he doesn’t like something he will change it. As is his right to do so. Need I remind you that speaking ill of the Supreme Leader is a crime. So beware of your thoughts and actions,” said General Pryde.

The three health officials shifted uncomfortably in their seats. They didn’t like being called out—no one did.

“Gentlemen,” said Dr. Koroban pointedly. “The purpose of this committee is to make decisions on Earth’s health. Our decisions go back to the Supreme Leader. If he likes something he will keep it, but if he doesn’t it is well within his right to change it. He takes all of our recommendations, now are we going to continue this discussion or is this meeting something you would like to end?”

All three of them looked to each other and then quickly to you before speaking quietly among themselves. “We would like to end these meetings as we see that Lady Ren may give the Supreme Leader any insight into what our planet may prefer.” And with that, the health officials threw you under a bus. They were leaving these important decisions for you. Someone who as of a few days ago was happily working in a small marketing firm, now you were making decisions for a whole planet.

“Very well then I suppose you are dismissed,” replied Dr. Koroban. The three health officials all got up and left. You just kept your gaze down on your folded hands in your lap. Secretly you hoped you became invisible.

Once they had left the room and the door was shut once more Dr. Dabrini spoke to you, “Lady Ren, you do not have to make any decisions you are not comfortable with. We can find others who will give us insight into how to best handle healthcare on your planet.”

You did not respond right away, the room was silent. When you did speak up there was hidden confidence in your tone, “But it is my planet. There are things that none of you understand. While I do not know galactic history like you all do, I do know enough of the history of my own planet to know that some of the First Order decisions will not go over well.”

“My lady, the reason the Supreme Leader changed the decision on the child policy is for the betterment of your planet. Your planet as we see now, if it continues growing as it has will be overpopulated very soon. In fact, many areas are. We are just trying to make sure your planet is healthy,” said General Pryde. “In fact much the First Order High Command wanted the child policy to go into effect immediately but the Supreme Leader wanted your planet to get used to First Order rule.”

How kind. Just enough time for everyone to be thoroughly brainwashed before it kicks in. Or just enough time for everyone to be thoroughly afraid to call to any action against First Order rule. You buried those thoughts deep within your mind. Even though Kylo was in Moscow, you didn’t know how his Force mind-reading thing worked and you did not want him getting even angrier with you.

“So shall we still go with the plan that we encourage birth control in women and before the law goes into effect, some encouragement to have fewer children. Other than that no one should object to STD screenings or anything else of the sort. I imagine there will be some people objecting to monogamy but then again they are against the vast majority of this planet anyways. Someone else should assist me with finding things on this in the Library of Congress,” you stated.

“Of course Lady Ren, I believe Petty Officer Ersela Tanau will be able to assist you in that endeavor,” said General Pryde. A young female officer stepped forward and bowed to you.

“I believe there is nothing else needed to be discussed today, but tonight I will come up with a list of anything else we may need to go over and send it out to you all,” said Dr. Koroban.

With that everyone left. You, Lieutenant Mitaka, Petty Officer Ersela Tanau, and General Pryde boarded the shuttle to take you to the library once again. Once there you, the general and petty officer all went your separate ways.

You combed the resources for what seemed like hours. You came up with some simple videos and posters. You knew they would most likely need to be approved by someone on the Supremacy so you were not as worried this time.

Good Eating Habits (1951)

Eating for Health (1954)

Vintage Army Nutrition for U.S. Soldiers

Weight Reduction Through Diet (1951)

"Cheers For Chubby" Overweight & Healthy Diet 1950s PSA

1950's - How To Eat Healthy - Diet & Nutrition

Feeling proud of your digging you turn to the lieutenant and ask if there is anywhere you could go for lunch. To which he just informed you that you could go anywhere and that it would be taken care of.

“Is there anything that you would like lieutenant,” you ask him.

“Ma’am we can go where ever you wish.”

“But I am asking you if there is anything you would like. Are there any earth foods you would like to try?”

The lieutenant paused at this question. If you could peer into his mind you swear you could see cogs turning. Or maybe some little men running around with papers in their hands panicking and running into each other. You could definitely tell this was not a question he knew how to answer.

“Ok. How about we go to an old fashioned American diner? If you are used to what the starships serve than this will be a change.”

“Yes, ma’am. Would you like to go to one now?”

“I think that would be most preferable,” you respond. You looked up a local diner on your phone. It was at this moment that you forgot that General Pryde would have to accompany you, for your ‘safety.’ Loading up into the shuttle was you, Petty Officer Tanau, Lieutenant Mitaka, General Pryde, and your golden guard Commander Pyre and his stormtroopers.

Rolling up to the diner you could tell that the people milling about outside and inside were shocked at what was happening. You had to admit it was probably a sight to see a relatively normal-looking person surrounded by loads of First Order personnel. Overall lunch was pretty uneventful other than the diner basically clearing out after your arrival. All three officers ordered burgers and fries for the first time, while the commander insisted that his ‘troops were ok and would eat at a later time.

You all head back to the shuttle that takes you back up to the Steadfast. The lieutenant informed you that your laptop was back from wherever he had sent it off to. You made it back to your chambers as you still had some time before your daily tutoring session with General Hux.

You received a message from Kylo, ‘I will not be back until tomorrow evening. Lieutenant Mitaka has been ordered to get you whatever you may need.’

You decided you still weren’t in the mood to talk to him after the events of last night and his lack of informing you of his decision this morning. The lieutenant informed you that the general was ready for your next lesson. You made your way down to the conference room once again, where the red-haired man was pacing about. He seemed to also be in a mood today.

“General? May I ask you a question that is slightly unrelated to the topic before we begin?”

“Yes,” he responded with annoyance in his voice.

“General Pryde told me that he was a founding member of the First Order. Why didn’t you mention this?”

“Ah, I see,” you could tell there was something about this that turned on a switch in his brain. “Pryde is just that, prideful. While he was good friends with my father and Rae Sloane one argues why is he still here and they are not. I can answer that simply. He may have been from their time, but he has not helped the First Order as they have. The sacrifices they made. Their achievements. He is, was apart of the Empire before the fall. He holds onto that, he can’t move past that. He is stuck in time with no realism for the future,” said the general with disgust for the subject.

“Is this why you are Allegiant General and he is not,” you ask.

“One of the reasons. The other is that my achievements in my shorter military career outweigh his. That and Supreme Leader Ren and I have a history. Maybe not the best history, but he can generally trust my opinions and work ethic. Also although Ren likes his grandfather he wants to achieve more than him, so comparisons here and there are fine but practically obsessing over their similarities has proven to be too much for the Supreme Leader.”

“His grandfather?”

“Yes the late and triumphant Lord Vader. That is something I believe that the Supreme Leader will discuss with you when he believes you are ready. For now, let us stick to the topics at hand.”

Oh great, you were sure that the discussion of his grandfather might go over as well as the discussion of his parents. But if the general was so sure that Kylo might actually speak of it, then you should trust him. After all, Kylo trusts him more than Pryde, so that has to mean something.

#kylo ren #kylo ren x reader #kylo ren imagine #kylo x reader #kylo x you #first order #sw first order imagine #star wars first order #first order propaganda #star wars #star wars imagine #Star wars soulmate au #a soul to mend his own #enric pride #armitage hux #i love this gif

[chaoswillfallrpg]

SIRIUS BLACK is TWENTY-THREE YEARS OLD and a JUNIOR INVESTIGATOR in THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX at THE ORDER HEADQUARTERS. He looks remarkably like JAMES LASTOVIC and considers himself aligned with THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX. He is currently TAKEN.

→ OVERVIEW:

Fearless and wild with a taste for danger, Sirius Black was always destined to become his family’s greatest achievement or their greatest disappointment. A rebellious young boy, Sirius questioned the world around him from the moment he had a grasp on it. Growing up on a Muggle street in central London, Sirius grew up curious about those who moved beyond his window that his mother encouraged him to stay away from. During his younger years Sirius simply wondered why both he and his brother REGULUS were forbidden from playing with the children in their street, though as he got older his questions became more in depth. Something didn’t quite sit right with Sirius, the little glimpses he had of the Muggle world seemed exciting. The music they listened to, the technology they used and the fashion captured his imagination far more than anything his family had ever presented to him. Sirius would sit in the window seat in his bedroom and watch the world go by from 12 Grimmauld Place, wondering what it would be like to be part of that world rather than the stuffy one he was confined to by his parents. ORION and WALBURGA BLACK were traditionalists, who had most likely kept their home in London to spite Muggles rather than want to integrate into society alongside them. 

Sirius’ upbringing was filled with dinner parties and family events attended by his aunt and uncle CYGNUS and DRUELLA BLACK who held similar beliefs and enjoyed drinking heavily and making snide comments about people they believed were inferior to them. With his aunt and uncle also came the joy of spending time with his cousins, BELLATRIX, ANDROMEDA and NARCISSA who he found just as complicated to be around as his own household for different reasons. Bellatrix was a copy of his uncle, ignorant, spiteful and self entitled. Time spent with her seemed to pass slowly to Sirius as she lectured her younger cousins and sisters on their stringent family beliefs, Sirius had already decided he felt unconvinced by his family beliefs long before he had received his letter to study at Hogwarts. Narcissa was more tolerable but equally as annoying. Turning her nose up at Sirius and wrinkling it when he spoke as if he were a wet dog she’d rather have been put back outside where it belonged. Andromeda had always been his favourite. Unlike Bellatrix and Narcissa she was kind and was often the only member of his family he could exchange a knowing glance with, without feeling the fear of rejection he often felt with his brother. Sirius had always wanted to have even that small sense of closeness he had with Andromeda with his younger brother. 

To Sirius Regulus always seemed torn on how to feel about his older brother, always keeping him at arm's length. He couldn’t tell if it was because he knew that Regulus knew that Sirius would leave one day and never return or if it was because he didn’t want to be on the bad side of their mother who had already marked him as the black sheep of the family by the time he was ten. Walburga had tried her best to control Sirius when she noticed him veering onto a path she didn’t agree with, from the first time he picked up a Muggle vinyl on an outing into London to his questions on their close social circle which only included Pure-Bloods. Walburga tried to integrate Sirius into wizarding high society, encouraging a closeness with his cousins and a prospective match with Burke's only daughter LYRA BURKE. The Burke family were certainly lower in the pecking order than the Black family, but as Sirius had a fondness for sharing his opinions with his mother’s friends KRATISTA BURKE was the only prospective member of The Sacred Twenty-Eight that was happy to form a match between the pair, even though she had asked if Regulus were available before his mother had firmly told her he was not. Sirius had liked Lyra well enough, but could never allow himself to fully become close with her, knowing fine well no matter her disposition she represented everything his mother wanted for him and that Sirius despised. 

Hogwarts had signalled a new start for Sirius. Although he would be joining his cousins at school, Sirius was determined to separate himself from them and create his own experience which was not limited by his family name. This objective was aided largely by the first friend he met at school. JAMES POTTER strolled onto the train, dug his hand into his pocket and bought the contents of the refreshment trolley right under JASPER AVERY and LARKIN MULCIBER’s nose and shared it with Sirius. Smirking at one another, Sirius shook James’ hand, tucked into a licorice wand and vowed that if being friends at Hogwarts would be of showing up people like Mulciber and Avery he was in for the long haul. Leaving the train their attention was grabbed by another pupil. PETER PETTIGREW was a raven haired boy in hand-me-down robes, which hadn’t gone lost on Mulciber who sneered insults at Peter before sniggering with his friends. To Sirius astonishment he watched as Peter spun on his heel and issued an expert right hook to him resulting in a telling off from PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL and a prompt fixing charm on Mulciber’s nose. Sirius knew they needed to befriend Peter there and then and was overjoyed when all three boys were sorted in Gryffindor, with Bellatrix and Narcissa watching angrily from the Slytherin table. Sirius' school years were a whirlwind of excitement, a mixture of being the coolest person in the room and the most disliked depending on who was asked. 

A star Beater for the Gryffindor Quidditch team, they barely lost a match and the parties afterwards were enough to make Sirius Black go down as a legendary name in Hogwarts history. His time at school was amazing, a stark contrast to the life he led back at home during the summer holidays. His final years at home, Sirius plastered his room with posters of Muggle women in bikinis, pictures of motorcycles and him getting drunk on the school field dancing with MARLENE MCKINNON and MARY MACDONALD as they laughed into the night. By his sixth year his mother had reached her limit, blasting Sirius off the family tree in their home and leaving Sirius to move in with James and his family. Although being disowned affected him more than Sirius would ever let on he tried to move past it, avoiding the gaze of his brother and cousins, attempting to pretend the only people who existed in his world were those who truly mattered to him. Whilst other students buckled down in their final years of study, Sirius saw it as an excuse to party- bunking off classes to smoke cigarettes on the Quidditch pitch with Marlene and taking his Muggle-Born girlfriend at the time MAREN LINWOOD on dates to Hogsmede and showing her off at parties. Sirius had always been wild to his friends, but some of his more reckless antics gave them cause for concern. A particular incident involving one of Sirius best friends REMUS LUPIN was the final straw for the Marauders before they staged an intervention. 

Now all Animagi which they had trained in to accompany Remus during transformations, Sirius invited James’ long-term enemy SEVERUS SNAPE to the Shrieking Shack on a full moon as a stupid prank to scare their friend, leaving James to jump in and save him and Remus close to tears when he later found out. Presumably acting out due to his family situation and his recent break-up, the group rallied round Sirius and ensured he left Hogwarts with enough qualifications to get a job, though he wouldn’t have enough to train to be an Auror. Graduating with his friends, Sirius took his inheritance and moved into a small flat in Farringdon with James, Peter and Remus. Trying to find something useful to do with his time he got a part-time job fixing motorcycles at a Muggle mechanic shop until PROFESSOR DUMBLEDORE came knocking with a more important job offer. With more people disappearing each day in London, Dumbledore had put together a group of people to track dark witches and wizards he suspected were planning a war. Training under ALASTOR MOODY, Sirius has been sharpening his duelling, tracking and disguising abilities in order to become a vital weapon for The Order. One of the more skilled from his class, due all of his one on one time with Alastor Moody, Sirius currently has the important task of marking and tracking some of the suspect younger members of THE DARK LORD’S army, starting with his own brother. Regulus. 

→ ADDITIONAL INFORMATION:

Blood Status → Pure-Blood

Pronouns → He/Him

Identification → Cis Male 

Sexuality  → Up to Roleplayer 

Relationship Status → Single

Previous Education →  Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry (Gryffindor) 

Societies → N/A

Family → Orion Black (estranged father), Walburga Black (estranged mother), Regulus Black (estranged brother/adversary), Cygnus Black (estranged uncle), Druella Black (estranged aunt), Bellatrix Black (estranged cousin/adversary), Andromeda Black (cousin), Narcissa Black (estranged cousin)

Connections  → James Potter (best friend/housemate), Peter Pettigrew (best friend/housemate), Remus Lupin (best friend/housemate), Marlene McKinnon (close friend/potential love interest), Mary MacDonald (close friend), Lily Evans (close friend), Dorcas Meadoews (close friend), Alastor Moody (mentor), Maren Linwood (ex-girlfriend/friend/object of flirtation), Emilia Grey (friend), Cassiopeia Kim (friend), Cressida Abercrombie (friend), Gilfred Abbott (friend), Caradoc Dearborn (friend), Poppy Hookum (friend), Aurora Sinistra (friend), Gwenog Jones (friend), Adaira Linwood (object of flirtation), Laurel Linwood (object of flirtation) Severus Snape (adversary), Jasper Avery (adversary), Larkin Mulciber (adversary), Lyra Burke (former betrothed)

Future Information → N/A 

SIRIUS BLACK IS A LEVEL 7 WIZARD. 

#sirius black #james lastovic #insatiable #marauders #sirius black rp #house of black #order member #the order #magic #black #taken #taken order member #taken wizard

[snappedsky]

Borderlands: Skies the Bodyguard 3

Skies and the crew fight their way to Control Core Angel.

*Links to previous and next chapters in reblog*

--

Chapter 12

           “Alright, lose the dirty robe,” Skies orders.

           “Roll up your sleeves,” Claptrap adds.

           “You don’t have the wrist tattoo? Does anyone have a pen?” she asks.

           “Ditch the Dahl gun,” August orders.

           “I can’t get his hair to stay up,” Vaughn complains, “where can we find some hair gel?”

           “Hang on, I got it,” Sasha says and hocks a loogey into her palms.

          “Oh, no, Sasha, do-ooooeeeewww,” Timothy whines as she runs her hands through his hair, shaping it as best she can into Jack’s well-known coif.

           “And now, the finishing touch,” Skies says as she pulls Jack’s mask out of her coat.

           “You have a Handsome Jack mask?” Timothy questions.

           “Not just ‘a Handsome Jack mask’,” Skies scorns, “it’s the actual mask Jack wore on his chiseled face.”

           He gives her a weird look, and so does everyone else.

           “Don’t judge me,” she growls and places the mask on Timothy’s face. She pinches the clamps shut and everyone steps back.

           “He kinda looks like Jack,” Vaughn shrugs, “if Jack spent months living in the wild.”

           “Then it’s perfect,” Skies declares and faces Timothy. “Alright, Tim, here’s your motivation. You’re Handsome Jack. You faked your death in the Vault of the Warrior in order to get your enemies off your tail. Now you’re ready to begin rebuilding your empire and who better to start with than an army of your worshippers? I, of course, am your loyal bodyguard and everyone else is some randos you met in your travels. Got it?”

           “I-I don’t know,” Timothy stammers nervously, “I haven’t acted as Jack in years.”

           “You’ll do fine,” she insists reassuringly, “you were literally made for this. Now come on, let’s hit it.”

           She shoves Timothy down the path and everyone follows. As they approach the Control Core, Timothy takes deep breaths and hypes himself up.

           “Alright, I’m Handsome Jack. I am Handsome Jack,” he says, “I’m attractive, I’m full of myself, I’m an asshole. Woof, okay. I got this.”

           Skies smiles as she watches him then looks back at everyone else. “I know this is gonna be hard for some of you- Sasha- so just keep your mouths shut- Claptrap- and let ‘Jack’ do the talking. Got it?”            They all grumble more or less agreeably.

           The Jack worshippers see them coming as they pass by what used to be the Competitor Deterrence Field. They slow to a stop as the worshippers gather in front of them; hundreds of Jack faces stare at them, muttering curiously amongst themselves.

           “This is really creepy,” Gortys whispers.

           Skies and the others look at Timothy nervously as he stares back at the large group, seemingly frozen. Then he takes a deep breath and obnoxiously clears his throat.

           “Wow, what a crowd!” he booms, “I would expect nothing less. No, this isn’t some prank or trick. It’s really me: The Handsome Jack!”

           The worshippers are eerily silent.

           “Hey, I get it. You’re speechless. I don’t blame ya,” Timothy says as he starts marching forward like he owns the place. Skies and the others are so taken aback they have to hurry to catch up. The group of worshippers split around them, letting them pass. “See, I faked my death in order to get those bandit scums of Sanctuary off my ass. They’re worse than cockroaches. But I’m back, I’m well-rested, and I’m ready to get my revenge and rebuild my empire. And I thought who better to start with than a fashionable group like this one? Haha, get it? Cause you look like me!”

            Skies smiles as she watches him. It’s almost like watching the real Handsome Jack. That’s giving her some mixed feelings, but she’s keeping them choked down for now.

           As they pass by the worshippers and go down the Control Core loading dock, Vaughn spots something and gently tugs Skies sleeve. “Uh, Skies?” he whispers.

           She glances at him and he points at the posters on the walls of the surrounding buildings. There are details on them; details they couldn’t see through the sniper scope; details that make Skies’ blood run cold. Details like fresh gunshot holes or the word ‘monster’. And as she takes a closer look around, she realizes that what she thought were streamers on the statues are actually strings of grenades. And that the group of ‘worshippers’ is closing up behind them, surrounding them.

           Skies awkwardly clears her throat. “Uh, Jack?”

           “Now I know this is probably a lot to take in,” Timothy continues ranting, ignoring her. “But you’ll have plenty of time to absorb it. I have some work I need to do in my old Control Core so you can think it over while I’m there. Not that you have a choice or anything.”

           “Jack,” she says again, sterner.

           “And don’t worry if you have no combat experience,” he goes on, “most of you will be cannon fodder anyway.”

           Skies grabs Timothy’s arm and stops him in his tracks. “Tim, we screwed up!”

           “Huh?” he questions, his Jack façade falling away. “Wh-what do you mean?”

           They all look forward as someone approaches them. Just like everyone else, he’s wearing a Handsome Jack mask as well as a Hyperion sweatshirt with the word ‘Hyperion’ crossed out in red. He chuckles as he stops in front of Timothy.

           “I can’t believe this,” he says, “Handsome Jack is actually alive? Some god must be smiling on me somewhere.”

           “Uh,” Timothy croaks nervously as the group squeezes in closer. Skies, Vaughn, Sasha, August, and Loader Bot glare at them warily, readying their guns.

           “Now,” the man continues, “I can fully exact my revenge.”

           “R-revenge?” Timothy questions, “d-don’t you worship me?”

           The group erupts into raucous, almost hysterical laughter. They split apart behind the supposed leader, leaving room around the largest statue in the dock. Up close, it’s obvious now that it’s covered in explosives.

           “Hardly,” the man continues, “after what you did to me, your death by someone else’s hands just wasn’t satisfying enough. This event was supposed to be some form of catharsis, not just for me, but everyone who hates you. But now- now I can kill you with my own two hands.”

           “Um,” Timothy croaks, stepping back.

           “You don’t remember me, do you?” the man asks. He takes off his mask to reveal a face marred by burn scars that have sealed his left eye shut and continue down into his shirt. “I’m Mick Scabbers! I was one of the many mercenaries you hired to track down the Siren, Lilith! After I was hurt, I called and begged you to help me but you refused! Said I wasn’t worth your time! And that was after you rescued her!” he barks, pointing angrily at Skies.

           “Wait,” she says with shock. “You fought Lilith and survived?”

           “No, of course not,” Mick scoffs, “I was attacked by those Firehawk worshippers.”

           “Okay, well, that’s the major difference between us,” she grunts.

           “Shut up!” he barks, “Jack abandoned me! Left me like a used toy!”

           “Yeah, he did that to everyone. You ain’t special.”

           “Shut up, shut up, shut up! He will pay! I’ll kill him with my bare hands!”

           “Wa-wa-wait!” Timothy cries, “I’m not really Handsome Jack!”

           “You can’t lie to me!” Mick screams.

           “No, really! I’m just a body double!”

           “Liar! All the body doubles were killed after Jack died!”

           “Exactly! Jack’s dead!”

           “And yet here you stand!”

           “Ye-bu-I-it-,” Timothy stammers uselessly.

           “Besides, you have your bodyguard standing ready to protect you,” Mick points out.

           “Ugh, I hate that my existence is so tied to Jack’s,” Skies groans, “but I’m not ready to protect him because I’m his bodyguard. I’m doing it because he’s my friend.”

           “Aw, really?” Timothy coos.

           “Well, yeah. I mean, if you’re okay with it.”

           “Ugh, knock it off already!” August barks and shoves Timothy’s SMG into his hands. “We’re not getting out of here with words.”

           “August is right,” Skies growls, “but because I’m trying to be a better person and all, I’m gonna give you this one chance, Mick. Let us through. This isn’t the real Jack and we have business in the Control Core that does not concern you.”

           “Ha!” Mick snorts, “you think you can get through? You’re horribly outnumbered!”

           Skies looks around and cocks her pistol. “I’ve gotten through worse.”

           Without another word, she aims her gun and fires. But the bullet whizzes past Mick’s head and instead hits the statue behind him, setting off the bombs.

           “Go!” Skies barks. While the Jack haters are momentarily distracted by the explosion, Skies and others race forward, firing their weapons into the surrounding group.

           Mick dives out of the way just before they rush by and points at them. “Kill them! But leave Jack alive!”

           “I’m not Jack!” Timothy barks, firing a spray of bullets.

           “Try to stay together but do not stop!” Skies orders, “keep moving to the bunker!”

           “We don’t have enough fire power for this!” Vaughn points out as he shoots his sniper rifle.

           “Just focus on staying alive!”

           Fortunately, most of the group was behind them so there’s no one blocking their way. But now they’re being chased by hundreds of Jack-faced lunatics, all with guns.

           “I had a nightmare like this once!” Timothy exclaims as he shoots at them.

           “I should’ve known these guys weren’t really worshippers!” Sasha barks, “who would worship Handsome Jack?’

           “You’d be surprised,” Vaughn replies.

           “Get to the stairs!” Skies orders.

           They hurry ahead as she stops, grabs a couple rain grenades from her coat, and throws them.

           “Grenade!” someone cries and much of the haters leap away. While they’re distracted and getting blown up, Skies catches up with her friends at the stairs leading towards the supply depot.

           “Oh no, not stairs!” Claptrap cries, “my worst enemy!”

           “Be silent,” Loader Bot orders as he picks him up and everyone hurries up the stairs and onto the depot’s road.

           “We got no cover here!” August points out.

           “Just keep moving!” Skies orders and tosses back a couple more grenades. Anyone who tried following them up the stairs immediately dive back.

           They quickly arrive to the depot which is thankfully free of Jack haters. But they can hear the mob coming in hot. So they hurry through the yard.

           “They’re catching up!” Vaughn cries.

           “Quit looking ba-ah!” Skies shouts as a bullet whizzes by her ear. She looks back as the group round the corner after them and snarls.

           “Keep going!” she orders as she ducks behind a wall. “I’m gonna bottleneck them!”

           “By yourself?” Vaughn questions, “they’ll slaughter you!”

           “Yeah, and besides, you’re the only one who knows the passcode!” Sasha adds.

           “Relax,” Skies grins, “I’ll catch up.”

           Vaughn is slightly hesitant but follows the rest of his friends through the depot. With her back pressed to the wall, Skies waits until the haters start trickling by and begins firing her pistol.

           She downs five of them with perfect headshots before they stop on the other side of the wall, getting the picture. Skies quickly reloads her gun and waits for them to make a move.

           A grenade bounces by, rolling to a stop. Skies gasps and dives away, taking cover behind some crates. After it goes off, she stands up and begins firing again as the group tries to advance. She downs a few more before someone throws another grenade right towards her. She shoots it in the air but the force of the explosion knocks her off her feet.

           Skies grunts in pain as she hits the ground before sitting up and immediately firing again. But too much of the group has gotten past the wall for her to take out with just her pistol. She quickly reaches into her coat for another grenade only to come out empty.

           “Shit,” she spits and scrambles behind some cover while she reloads. She aims over the boxes and continues to shoot much of the haters through their Jack masks, but they just keep swarming past the wall and firing relentlessly at her.  She ducks back down and reloads as fast as she can before they catch up.

           About five of them round the crates on either side. She snarls and lifts her gun, ready to shoot, when sprays of bullets knock them all down first. She looks up and across the yard at Sasha, August, Loader Bot, and Timothy aiming their weapons. And on a stack of crates beside them, Vaughn aims his sniper rifle.

           “I thought I told you to keep going!” Skies shouts over the gunfire.

           “We couldn’t actually leave you,” August retorts.

           “Gortys wouldn’t let us,” Sasha adds.

           “Besides,” Timothy says as he rushes forward and crouches down in front of her, offering his hand. “We’re friends, right?”

           Skies smiles and takes his hand. He helps her to her feet and they both hurry back to the others. As they go by, Sasha, August, and Loader Bot run after them while Vaughn continues picking off the group with his sniper rifle. Then he hops down and follows.

           Claptrap and Gortys are waiting for them at the end of the depot. They both jump and wave their arms frantically, telling them to hurry and cheering them on.

           “Go!” Loader Bot orders before they pass. The smaller robots go on ahead as they exit the depot and race for the bunker. The Jack haters are chasing them again, their bullets whizzing by and hitting their shields.

           “Just get to the bunker!” Skies orders.

           They all dive through the open doorway into the building leading up the bunker. Skies whips around and shoots the door’s control panel causing it to slam shut.

           “That won’t hold them long,” she says as they all scramble to their feet. “We won’t be safe until we’re in the Control Core. Come on, hurry!”

           They race around the bunker as the haters bang against the door. They barely get halfway before an explosion blows through it.

           “Aw, shit knuckles!” Timothy squeaks.

           “Go, go, go!” Skies orders.

           “We’re not going to make it!” Vaughn exclaims as they round the corner towards the closed door leading to Control Core Angel, the army of footsteps approaching quickly behind them.

           “We’ll make it!” Sasha barks.

           “Tim! Get in front of the door! We’ll hold them off!” Skies orders as she skids to a stop and turns to face the army of Jack haters. Everyone follows suit, except for Timothy who goes to the door.

           “Preparing bio-scan. Please stand on the Hyperion emblem,” an automated voice says. Timothy looks at the floor in disgust, as it’s completely covered in dried gore, most likely from people trying to break in.

           “Hurry, Timothy!” Vaughn cries as they all fire into the horde of oncoming enemies.

           “You know, I’ve been wanting a chance to use this again,” Sasha says as she lowers her SMG and a large rocket launcher digistructs into her hands. She heaves it onto her shoulder and fires it into the crowd.

           “Scanning bio-signature.” A blue light shines over Timothy as he rapidly glances from the door to the others and back at the door. “Bio-signature confirmed. Hello, sexy. Awaiting password.”

           “What’s the password?” he shouts.

           Skies ducks beneath some gunfire before replying, “I love you!”

           “…is that the password or…”

           “Yes, you moron!”

           “Right!” Timothy squeaks and leans closer to the control panel. “I love you.”

           “Access granted,” the voice says and the doors open.

           “Everyone in!” Skies cries.

           As Sasha fires one more rocket, everyone scrambles backwards. They all dive inside and the door slams shut behind them.

#borderlands #borderlands 2 #tales from the borderlands #borderlands fanfiction #borderlands au #myocs #myart

[kathyprior4200]

Hazbin Hotel Pilot: Gender Reverse

  Charles Magne was the unique prince of Hell. Both of his parents encouraged him to be stern, confident and to never show mercy to any demons. The royal Magne family was one that commanded respect…a force to be reckoned with. Their symbol was the apple, reflecting on the original legend of Adam and Eve. Although many demons in Hell would’ve loved to take over the kingdom, the king and queen made sure that everyone stayed in line.  

 There was King Lilium, a tall imposing figure with short blonde hair and long red curved horns sticking out from his head. He was often seen wearing a thick black pointed crown on his head along with a wide array of fashionable suits. His face was white and pale, his eyes golden yellow. He was formerly a human man, the first one, who was Adama’s husband. Adama then fell in love with the more submissive man Evan, and Lilium was banished. He became an incubus and then a powerful demon. Lilium was a model and performer, always busy singing on stage or recruiting members for his army via his shows. The army was a secret revolution against Heaven and the deadly Exterminators, who slaughtered demons every year in Hell.

 Queen Lucinda was Charlie’s mother, and a very powerful individual. She and her husband were the embodiment of power and perfection, not just by their good looks but from their presence alone. Lucinda often wore elegant old fashioned white dresses, decorated with red stripes and little apple designs. She carried a cane with a red apple on it. A white round hat covered her long locks of blonde hair. Her face was pale white with red blushes on her cheeks. Lucinda had a knack for being goofy and being the life of any party she attended. She would drink alcohol, eat carnival food and play polka music.

 Centuries ago, Lucinda was formerly the light-bearing angel until she was banished by the genderless God of Heaven. Michelle was her sister and became God’s right hand woman. Lucinda showed contempt for God’s creation of humankind but everyone else obviously agreed with God. Lucinda fell from grace and eventually became the queen of Hell. In fact, she and her ensemble of fallen angels were the ones who crafted Hell into a sort of paradise for sinners to do whatever they wished. Murder, porn, thievery, singing, nothing was off-limits. But the cost of sinner’s freedom was the annual exterminations that would take place to reduce the overpopulation of Hell. It was a tactic that not only reduced Hell’s populace, but also served to keep them in their place. After all, Hell consisted of every bad or “flawed” human being that ever lived. Another so called “superior” group to the sinners were the powerful creatures who were born in Hell…the Hell Born.

Then there was royal son, Charles Magne, named after Charlemagne the conqueror. But he preferred to call himself Charlie. He was currently a teenage boy by appearance (he was more than 200 years old) with short wavy blonde hair and a white face with blushes just like his mother. Being part demon and part angel, Charlie could conjure fire and go into his horned demon form at will (He had yet to unlock his true demonic power as a Nephilim). He was often seen wearing a pink tuxedo suit, black bow tie, black pants and shoes.

 Charlie was different from the other demons in Hell, his parents included. While everyone else carelessly inflicted violence upon their brethren, Charlie would dream of a better world full of sunshine and rainbows. As a child, Charlie learned how to sing, dance and play many instruments, thanks to his parents. He loved musicals, reading, smiling and being affectionate toward others.

 When the king and queen showed Charlie his first Extermination, they thought he would passively admire the scene.

 But the prince was horrified at the sight of deadly spears being plunged into the chests and heads of his people. Blood splattered the windows as muffled screams were heard from outside. Seeing all the lives lost year after year made him feel guilty. Why were his parents content to just watch from the safety of their mansion? He needed to help his people!

 “There is no need to help them, my son,” Lucinda replied. “They are common sinners who are merely facing their fate.”

 “So you’re just going to let all this senseless murder happen?!”

 “It’s the way things are,” replied Lilium without even a glance at him. “It’s been this way for thousands of years and it will continue on for a thousand more.”

 Lucinda had added all those years ago, “It’ll be your job as heir to choose a high class woman to marry so our traditions can get passed on.”

 Charlie was tired of royal duties. He didn’t know what was worse, being pressured into honoring his family or the fact that many people in Hell didn’t give a rat’s ass about him. He had met his green-skinned ex-girlfriend Sevia Von Eldritch at the Hell high school prom and danced. Sevia’s brother Hel Von Eldritch with his tentacle white hair, was a rich bully and snob to him. Sevia was charming enough, if not annoyed with him whenever he talked about his dreams.

 “Your childish looks aren’t even enough to get you on Hell’s Vogue covers,” Hel chided to him. “Your ideas of redemption and happiness are a fucking joke! You must be a bitchy clown every day.”

 “Don’t underestimate what I can and can’t do, Hel!” Charlie responded in spite. “You’ll see it is possible to show that everyone can be a good person. Even though you obviously aren’t!”

 Charlie eventually broke up with Sevia and got into a relationship with the aggressive gray moth demon Vaggus. Charlie’s parents were not pleased of the gay relationship, especially the sterner parent Lucinda. More often than not, Charlie felt distant from his family.

 Then Charlie came up with a plan. Using his wealth, he persuaded his family to let him build a hotel in Pentagram City to use as a place of refuge. The Happy Hotel would be a place for demons to stay for a while and to potentially redeem themselves enough to get them into Heaven. With more demons leaving Hell to a better world, there would hopefully be no more Exterminations in the future.

 “What a ludicrous idea, Charles,” Lilium said, shaking his head. “What makes you think your plan will even work?”

 “You know that Heaven has spared us in exchange for all the souls taken each year,” Lucinda explained. “To break tradition would cause all sorts of consequences, both for us and all of Hell.”

 “What consequences?!” Charlie prodded on. “What could possibly be worse than all of this?”

 “You’re too young to understand.”

 “Mom, I’m centuries old! I can take care of myself.”

 “Just stop with your childish fantasies and grow up,” Lucinda said.

 “Why can’t you guys understand?” Charlie was on the brink of tears.

 “Wipe away those tears,” Lilium said. “It’ll be better for all of us if you’ll just accept the way things are. Just think of all the amazing things to look forward to.”

 “No! I can’t.”

 Lucinda glared down at his teen son. “You and your plan will be perceived as a failure to everyone else. A failure, you hear me? Do you want to be seen like that? You might as well be one if you keep this up.”

 Failure.

Failure.

Failure.

 His mother’s words repeated in his mind like a gut wrenching broken record. Was that all he really was to her?

 He raced away crying, it was all too much.

 “Charles!” her mother boomed in anger. Lilium just shook his head, eyes downcast.

 Sooner later, it would be time for Charlies to face the music, as it were. The process wouldn’t be easy. After all, he had lots to learn about the formerly human sinners.

 What would it be like to live as a human? To be free under a blue sky, to watch bluebirds chirp their songs. To fall in love and experience so many feelings…

 Many times, Charlie felt like he belonged on Earth or in Heaven, practically anywhere else but in Hell. Having been secluded for much of his life, Charlie had little knowledge of life on the streets. All the dance moves and Latin and ancient demonic languages he learned wasn’t going to get him anywhere in that case.

 Charlie knew that inside every demon was a rainbow…or in many cases, a lost human soul changed by death and their demonic natures. It appeared he was the only one who could sense it.

 One day, a deathly silence had announced that the extermination had ended. Dead demon bodies littered the streets, and several weapons were lodged in the organs and remains. One spear poked out from a dead demon’s mouth. “Fuck you Heaven!” was spray-painted in red graffiti on one wall. “Cleanse!” was scribbled on posters of the dark bird-like horned angels with creepy grins and xs over their right eyes. There were large red signs reading “Punishment” and “Your days are numbered!” In the crimson sky, a small moon had a glowing red pentagram on it.

 Charlie sadly walked onto the balcony, his short blonde hair on his head, bangs over his pale forehead. A white shirt was under his pink tuxedo.

 Charlie rubbed a hand over his face sadly. A lit up sign read “Welcome to Hell! Population: a fuck ton.” Charlie lifted his finger and colorful fireworks boomed in the sky, signaling it was safe. Another sign read “demon” in white letters. The denizens slowly opened their windows and peered out. More demons came out from their hiding places. A couple of demons poked their heads out of the windows, one of them a red demon with two eyes and horns, smoking.

 The demon prince sang his lament:

 “At the end of the rainbow there’s happiness

And to find it how often I’ve tried

But my life is a race

Just a wild goose chase

And my dreams have all been denied”

 “A ray of hope in this world of black

I wish the world to be free of sin

But no matter how I try

I can’t get by

And no matter what I never seem to win”

 “Why have I always been a failure?

What can the reason be?

I wonder if the world’s to blame

I wonder if it could be me”

 “I’m always chasing rainbows

Watching the clouds drifting by

My schemes are just like all my dreams

Ending in the sky”

 “Some fellows look and find the sunshine

I always look and find the rain

Some fellows make a winning sometime

I never even make the game

Believe me”

 “Will this world be a better place?

Or will loss never go away?

The choice I face

Me a disgrace

A loss of hope, here to stay”

 “I’m always chasing rainbows

Watching the clouds drifting by

My schemes are just like all my dreams

Ending in the sky”

 “I’m always chasing rainbows

Waiting to find a little bluebird

In vain”

 Lilium opened up red curtains and watched the fireworks with a passive scowl on his face. He appeared to have white hair, pink sclera eyes with white pupils and makeup on his face. Behind him was Lucinda sitting on a chair in shadow, eyes glowing red. There was also a black spider Overlord lady sipping wine, and another shadow overlord shaped like a dinosaur. A large building read “Porn Studios” on it in lit up letters. The roof was decorated with strings of lights and a life-like figure of a smiling red shirtless male wearing black boxers with a white heart on them.

 Inside the studio sat three influential Overlords, commonly known as the three Vs. Vox, the television demon had a flat screen TV for a head and wore a black dress decorated with thin vertical blue lines. The center of the long dress was decorated with red and black stripes. Vox wore a black ladies hat on her head with a large red bow and a teal Wi-Fi symbol on it. Her eyes were red and her shark-like teeth were light blue.

 Next to Vox was a small man named Velvet, the doll demon of social media. He had dark gray skin and had long bangs of magenta and dark magenta hair on his head. His eyes were pink with white irises and black pupils. He wore a suit of white, black and pink, the bottom of the suit decorated with pink hearts.

 Finally there was the woman pimp Valentina, the porn studio owner. She was a moth demon with grayish skin, antennas, and pink eyes and teeth. She wore a red coat and had white fluff decorated with little hearts on it. Pink heart shaped sunglasses outlined in yellow were over her eyes.

 Velvet happily took a picture of him and Vox, much to the TV demon’s annoyance. Velvet eagerly tapped on his phone with a big smile on his face.

 Valentina looked at her phone in annoyance.

 Valentina: Did you get my money, Angie Baby?

Angela Dust: I’m wittha Jane now. I don’t get why this needed to happen so soon after the extermination, tho. Boss.

Valentina: Just do it. No sass. K sugar.

Angela Dust: Yes, Val.

  A bunch of imps dressed in top hats and round ladies’ hats feasted on a bloody body after a demon with a messy mane pulled out an angelic spear to sell on the black market. Beside her was an emotionless male scientist with white hair and round red glasses dressed in a white lab coat. He was recording deaths and the number of weapons on a clipboard for Xirxine labs.  

 Rosea was a bird-like Overlord, elegantly dressed in a magenta suit under his long black neck. He had black eyes, light skin and short lavender hair like a demonic male Mary Poppins. He wore a matching top hat with skulls and a black rose on it. With a grin, he crossed out “Franklin” on a sign that read “Franklin and Rosea’s Emporium.”

 A brown furry demon plucked another demon’s head off the ground and put in her grocery cart full of other demon heads. More demons wondered around, including a smoking demon, a teen demon and a demon with a striped suit appearing out of nowhere. The Jackpot Hotel and Devil’s Diner were nearby.

 As Charlie cried, the clock tower rang out and the counter read “365 days til next cleanse.” A shadow painting of a figure (originally Lilith) was on the bottom of the tower, along with concert posters. “Lilium in concert” was on a few posters.

 “The Spider In Kinky Boots”

 A blue demon with many arms fell to the ground. The demon had red eyes and stood up. It looked at itself in amazement. “I’m alive! I’m alive!” A car ran over the demon, as blood splattered everywhere. The car pulled to a stop and a demon got out.

 She was a tall white spider demon, her face and body white and furry. Light pink spots decorated her face and dark pink spots were under her pink eyes. The spots were reminiscent of extra spider eyes. A pink heart was on the back of her head. She wore a pink and white striped suit and high bright pink heeled boots. Pink gloves covered four of her hands. She also wore a black bow tie under her neck and a little black choker on her thin neck.

 She was Angela Dust, formerly Antonia when she was alive. She had died of an overuse of PCP, a.k.a. angel dust, hence her name. She was Hell’s number one porn star, and a common participant in the many violent wars over territory that frequently occurred. She was part of an Italian mafia family that had lived in New York in the early 1900s. The bubbly Rolls was her younger brother, Aracknia was her black furry older sister, and the grey Dope was her mother. Now here she was in Hell, working under the harsh command of her pimp boss Valentina.

 Angela rested her elbow on the open car door, slicking her fur back on her head. A gold fang was visible. Being a spider demon, she had multiple arms. Her left eye was black with a pink pupil and her right eye was white with a pink iris.

 “Thanks for the fun time, hot stuff,” came a gruff feminine voice from the driver’s seat. Tracy, the grey owl demon.

 “Yeah, yeah listen,” Angela said, closing the door and facing Tracy, “Keep this discreet, hear me? I can’t let it get out I’m offering my services to randos on the street. It was a quick cash crab, ya got that?”

 She smiled and snapped all her fingers, pointing to her.

 “Whatever you say, slut!” Tracy mocked with a laugh. A round gray hat was on her head. Her left eye was black with a red heart pupil while her right eye was white with a black pupil.

 The white demon cupped her face dramatically. “Ouch, oh, such an insult!” she declared, pretending to be offended. She leaned into the open car window. Tracy’s eyes shrank back and her ears flopped in fear. Angela smirked, “Let me know when you come up with something creative to call me next time, you poorly packaged sack of horse shit.”

 She poked Tracy and her nose with her finger. “Tell the misters I said hi,” Angela said, blowing her a kiss before leaning back out.

 Tracy rolled up the window and grumbled. “Poorly packaged…” The car flipped in the air before falling with a loud crash.

 Angela looked behind her at a store. One sign had a dripping needle that said ”blood draw” on it. A door had an upside down cross as part of the decoration. A yellow neon sign read “Beg Slut,” while a teal one read “We couldn’t think of a pun for our shop, but we sell hard drugs!” A casino flier read “Casino: just a few wins away.” A red vending machine with the word “drugs” written in white caught the spider demon’s attention. She walked over and glanced down at the options:

 Coke

Bojack

McWeedies420

Squip

Hero-in

Krunchy Krokodil

Angel Dust

 The demon pressed a button labeled “angel dust” and a white sack fell to the bottom. With a greedy smile, she took it in her hands.

 With a yoink, a gray demon snatched the bag from her hands.

 “Hey!” Angela yelled.

 “Up yours, drag show!” hollered the demon before she was crushed by a boulder.

 “Oh my god!” cried Angela, but she wasn’t worried about the crushed demon. She sadly picked up a piece of the sack.

 “My drugs! Damn it!”

 “Something Rotten”

 Angela turned around and spotted a flying metal aircraft, which was firing lasers at buildings. It looked like an industrial rocket ship made with gears and a steampunk style to it. A metal hook hung from the bottom of it. The lasers struck the buildings, which caused bright pink explosions to fill the air.

 From inside the ship, a serpent Overlord stood high above over the controls, laughing manically. Down below, her deviled egg minions stood and watched. Each of them wore black round hats with bows on them and pinstriped round clothing. They were called Egg Grls.

 The room had deep purple walls, cabinets for the minions and decorations of their leader along the wall. The stairs and many of the structures on the ship depicted scales.

 The Overlord was Madam Zmeya. She wore a light gray Victorian style dress with a ruffle at the helm. The dress had yellow vertical stripes down the front. The collar of the dress was pink, the same color as her eyes were at times. She had the lower body of a dark gray and yellow snake, plus a black tail with yellow stripes and pink eyes all over it. Her gray hat was round with a moving pink eye and a grinning mouth of fangs. She sprouted a demonic grin of sharp yellow teeth and her hood was full of pink hypnotizing eyes. Her long black hair swayed, several strands turning into miniature snakes.

 Madam Zmeya had died in 1888 in the Industrial Revolution due to machine failure and a blizzard. She worked on several inventions in London, selling them under a male last name and looked down on those of a lower status. People had called her a “sneaky snake in the grass.” With the help of the blue anglerfish mad scientist Baxtra (who had died of drowning on a boat), Madam Zmeya was able to command and create her Egg Grl minions. (Baxtra, the deviant Hellhound Sobtiny and dapper guy Desperado were off in their own respective places.)

 Up on the platform, the serpent oriented two levers in her hands, the control button in the center displaying a pentagram design.

 “Those other cowardly sinners dare not hinder my territorial takeover! A wise decision. The power of my machines are unmatched! No other demon can compare to the likes of I!”

 One egg minion with #23 on her back added, “Gee that was pretty swell boss!”

 “Yeah!” another chimed in: #666.

 “You really showed them what for!” called a third.

 Another minion teasingly ran her fingers up the Overlord’s spine. “I like it when you shot them with your ray gun…”

 Madam Zmeya punched a minion out the window and whirled around in anger. The other minions backed up. “I wish she’d shoot me with her ray gun,” a minion whispered, head lowered. “Or perhaps splatter me with acid.”

 Madam Zmeya rolled her eyes at her minions. She turned back to the controls and grinned. Pentagram circles revealed the areas she had taken over and the other territories ahead.

 “At this rate, I will seize control of the entire west side of the Pentagram by day’s end!”

 She laughed and bragged some more. “And nothing, not a single beast in this inferno of suffering, will be able to take back this empire from my constrictive grasp!”

 As to prove her point, she grabbed a minion in her tail and tightly squeezed her.

 Another minion blew a noisemaker and then popped open a blue bottle of a brown drink. The Overlord threw the minion across the room as the eggs celebrated down below.

 “Hell will be mine,” she declared, “and everybody will know the name of Madam…”

 “Scaly lady!” yelled a voice.

 “Pardon?!” Madam Zmeya shot back in shock. “Who said that?!”

 She leaned in close to two of her minions, not pleased.

 “What did you just say to me, you fried chicken fetuses?!”

 The minions shook in fear.

 “Speak up!” she hissed.

 “It wasn’t us, miss boss woman!” said a minion.

 Just then, an object shot through the glass at the front, creating a small hole. A small pink bomb with a black skull on the front, landed on the floor. Madam Zmeya observed it for a moment…the bomb looked like a cherry…which could only mean…

 Madam Zmeya flinched back, a look of terror on her face.

 The bomb exploded, covering the room in sparkles and thick red smoke.

 Madam Zmeya coughed and swiped some of the smoke away.

 “You looking for a fight, old lady?” a male voice challenged.

  Madam Zmeya spotted her rival standing proud and casually catching another bomb in his hand: Chere Bomb.

 The man was towering tall in one red army boot, ripped black jeans covering his legs. He wore a loose pink crop top with an x on the front, a few suspenders connecting the loose pants and top. He had short strawberry blonde hair and a single pink eye with an x that took up most of his white face. A chain necklace with a skull on it dangled around his neck. He spouted a grin of sharp white teeth.

 Chere had died in the 1980s in Australia, due to a bomb explosion. He was a hot-headed rebel in a more easygoing culture, always fighting for the rights of LGBTQ + individuals and the downtrodden. He loved blowing things up.

 “Why don’t you get that tinker toy bullshit off my turf before I smash it…” he declared before catching his bomb. A random barbell of metal crashed into the floor close to Chere Bomb.

 “…more,” he finished.

 “Oh, you wanna go, mister?” Madam Zmeya retorted. She flicked her hood back before opening it. The snakes from her hair hissed in anticipation. “Well, I’m happy to oblige!”

 She let out another shrill laugh as her minions closed in, holding stun guns, which crackled with yellow electricity.

 But Chere Bomb just scoffed. With graceful leaps, he avoided the blasts and threw down another bomb. He used the cover to escape, jumping down and swinging once from the anchor at the bottom of the flying craft. Landing gracefully on the ground, he continued his assault from below.

 “Catch me if you can, reptilian bitch!” he taunted out loud.

 “Get him!” she bellowed through the red smoke, the eggs quickly running around in a frenzy.

 The minions jumped to the ground after him, the Overlord following suit. Chere Bomb dodged a blast, grinned and picked up the minion egg. He spun around and threw the minion straight into Madam Zmeya’s face. The snake threw the egg back at him, and he caught it with one hand.

 “Thanks for the gift!” Chere called out, before cracking the egg open with an evil grin. He placed a bomb into it, then threw it back...straight into her face. Madam Zmeya could only make a face of surprise before the egg blew up in pink smoke.

 “Why you little…”

 Chere Bomb ducked as another egg sailed over his head.

 Just then, a familiar drug-addict white demon stomped on an egg minion and threw a grenade in the distance.

 “Angela!” called Chere Bomb, happy to have his partner in crime arrive.

 “Great to see you too, sweetie!” she teased.

 Another pink explosion filled the air as the fight continued.

 “Hey, thanks for the backup, Angie!” Chere Bomb said as he fired a flaming red blast from a metal canon weapon toward Madam Zmeya.

 Angela Dust laughed, leaning against volcanic rock as cover. She threw a grenade over her white head.

 “Hahaha! Are you kiddin’? This is the best action I’ve seen in ages!”

 A pink explosion rocked the streets.

 “Where have you been anyway?” Chere asked as he removed a fuse from another bomb. “I thought you up and died or some shit.”

 “Oh I wish,” Angela remarked as she lit another fuse and handed the bomb to her ally. He threw it forward, then ducked behind the rock next to Angela.

 Angela continued, “I’ve been staying at this crappy hotel on the other side of town. Some hunks are lettin’ me stay rent-free if I play nice.” They covered their ears.

 A column of green smoke rose into the air with a fiery whoosh. The duo leaped over the rock and charged at the army of egg minions. Using four arms, Angela Dust fired rapidly from a gun at the minions, making some of them explode.

 She sighed, and used one of her hands to gesture. “Y’know, no fights, no pranks, no “problematic language.” His words, not mine.”

 Angela tripped an unsuspecting minion, sending her into the air and exploding in a yellow yok mess. Angela waved a spiked club and continued firing her gun. A pot shop stood in the background, with marijuana leaves near the sign.

 “These bastards are no fun!” Angela complained in frustration. Splatters of yok landed on her head and face. “I’ve been clean for two weeks!”

 “Holy shit!” Chere Bomb yelled after avoiding a green explosion and leaping into the air, more bombs in his hands.

 Angela scooped up yok with her pink gloved finger. “Well, sorta clean.” She smashed apart another egg minion with her club. “As clean as you can get with a shitload of Bolivian marching powder.”

 Angela’s shadowy silhouette displayed sharp fangs as Chere posed in the background, one of his boots missing. A sign read “50% off meth” above a small super market.

 A black chain wrapped tightly around Angela’s waist and chest, sending her flying backwards. Chere Bomb gasped as his ally was pulled away. Madam Zmeya threw the chained Angela hard onto the ground a distance away. The spider landed with a thud against volcanic rock.

 “Oh, harder mommy!” Angela teased with a wide smirk.

 Madam Zmeya gasped, eyes tearing up. “Daughter?!”

 Angela Dust stared blankly, one eye raised, a look of disbelief on her face.

 Chere Bomb rushed into action, landing a sharp kick to Madam Zmeya back. The villain landed on the ground, then hissed threateningly. She stood up and brushed off her dress.

 “You whores have no class!” she exclaimed. “In war, the side remembered is the side with the most…style.” She fluffed up the lace in the center of her dress for emphasis.

 Chere Bomb broke open an egg and tossed the shells aside. Angela stood up, freeing herself from the chains.

 “Or the side that ain’t dead,” Chere added.

 “Speaking of style, is your hat like, alive or something?” asked the spider demon wiggling her fingers.

 Madam Zmeya hissed. “Oh, well, that’s none of your goddamn business, now is it?”

 Angela continued, “Would that make your hat the top and you the bottom?”

 She and Chere burst into laughter. Even a pink “loser” sign pointed at the oblivious villain. “Ooooh,” said a minion near her. “One hellish burn.” The snake slapped the egg with her hand.

 “I’m going to blow you to bits!” Madam Zmeya screeched, yelled, pointing at them.

“Hmm! Kinky!” Angela teased.

 An advertisement displaying a plate of, sausage, eggs and a tomato slice stood halfway buried in the ground. A glowing pink sign pointing down read “pussy.” Another yellow sign read, “Sex here.”

 “Not like that! Pervert!” yelled the villain, pointing a finger. Chere Bomb and Angela Dust held in laughter.

 Angela suddenly pushed Chere Bomb out of the way, as an egg minion shot tendrils of claws from behind them. The claws had eyes in the center and grabbed onto Angela’s four wrists. She struggled to free herself, the cords stretching.

 Madam Zmeya chuckled. “Not so cocky now, are we? You got yourself into this wet mess!”

 “Y’know, you really need to watch what’s coming out of your mouth,” Angela remarked.

 The villain didn’t respond.

 Angela sighed. “I’ve been making these sex jokes this whole time!”

 A drill poked out from the ground, Angela barely avoiding it. A minion held a drill in her small hands at Angela. Two extra arms popped out from Angela’s body, holding her rifle.

 “And it’s obvious you ain’t catching on.”

 She cocked her gun. “I mean, it’s just…sad!”

 The spider jumped into the air, freeing herself and firing the gun. The laser hit Madam Zmeya, and her gray hat fell off.

 Chere Bomb popped up next to Angela, walking sideways. “Think you’re gonna get into a lot of trouble for this?”

 “Eh, what’s one little brawl gonna cause?” Angela shrugged her shoulders and retracted her extra arms. Madam Zmeya lay fuming on the ground.

 More egg minions scrambled over to the edge of a high cliff, overlooking the scene. Egg shells and yok puddles littered the cracked street.

 Chere Bomb playfully elbowed Angela. “Glad ya haven’t changed. You know you’re my favorite gal to party with!”

 “You know it, sugar bits,” Angela replied.

 “You ready to finish this?” he asked. He rolled a bomb from one of his shoulders to his other shoulder, then into his hand.

 Angela cocked her gun again. “Born ready, baby!”

 The duo charged at Madam Zmeya. Everyone yelled. More egg minions fell and Madam Zmeya realized she was running out fast.

 After several more minutes of battle, Madam Zmeya and her remaining minions retreated back to their ship. “This isn’t over, sluts!” she declared at her enemies. “I’ll have my revenge!” The ship hatch closed. The egg minions steered the ship and it rose into the air, almost sending the Overlord flying out of the craft. She tossed out more minions in response before taking the controls and flying the craft away.

 Angela and Chere Bomb high-fived.

 “See you around,” Chere said.

 “Until the next brawl,” said Angela.

 Chere Bomb waved goodbye and blasted music from an Eye Pod (a device made from an actual moving eye. “Hello, daddy. Hello mom. I’m your ch-ch-ch-cherry bomb! Hello world! I’m your wild boy. I’m your ch-ch-ch-cherry bomb!” he sang out loud. Angela Dust laughed and continued on her way.

 After buying some more amino and pot from the 666 Shop, Angela met with Charlie and Vaggus in a white monster limo with teeth on the front of the vehicle. A great day indeed for the promiscuous demon.

 “Morning Report”

 Transcript during the 666 News:

“BREAKING NEWS: A LARGE SCALE TURF WAR IS UNDERWAY IN PENTAGRAM CITY BETWEEN MADAM ZMEYA AND CHERE BOMB. THE SURROUNDING AREAS ARE COVERED IN DEBRIS, SO PLEASE AVOID DOWNTOWN ON YOUR COMMUTE TODAY. TRAFFIC IS “HELLA” BACKED UP. GET IT? “HELL” BUT WITH AN “A” AT THE END? THAT’S A WORD YOUNGER PEOPLE SEEM TO ENJOY USING. I DON’T REALLY LIKE IT, THOUGH. I WROTE IT BECAUSE IT SEEMED LIKE THE NATURAL KIND OF PUN TO MAKE FOR THIS SITUATION, BUT NOW THAT I SEE IT IN TEXT, I FEEL LIKE IT WAS A MISTAKE, A MISTAKE I CAN’T TAKE BACK…LIKE CHEATING ON MY HUSBAND. I’M SO SORRY, MARTIN. I SHOULDN’T HAVE DONE IT, BUT YOU DID GAIN A LOT OF WEIGHT AFTER BECOMING A FATHER AND I REALLY NEEDED SOME SPACE. YOU KNOW, WHAT? NO, THAT WAS A GOOD CALL. I BANGED THE JANITOR, AND THAT WAS A PRETTY NICE TIME, EVEN THOUGH HE LAUGHED AT ME WHEN I TOLD HER I COULDN’T GET OFF UNLESS HE LICKED MY FOOT FIRST. I DON’T SEE HOW THAT’S A WEIRD REQUEST. MAYBE IF I’D JUST GET A HOOKER, HE WOULD’VE BEEN MORE AGREEABLE. THE POINT IS, MY HUSBAND IS A FUCKING SON OF A BITCH. ONE TIME, WE WENT TO THE ZOO AND I GOT REALLY MAD BECAUSE I THOUGHT THE ORANGUTAN WAS MAKING FUN OF ME. SHE KEPT DOING THAT STUPID DUCK LIP FACE? THEIR LIPS ALL PUCKERED? THEN IT STARTED SCREAMING, AND THAT REALLY PISSED ME OFF. MY HUSBAND TOLD ME IT WAS JUST A MONKEY, AND TO “CALM DOWN.”

 A neon logo appeared on the screen, displaying “666 News” in a circle with a neon eye underneath. The names of the news cast appeared on the bottom of the screen.

 A skeletal demon man with short blonde hair and a large toothy grin stood wearing a dark pink fancy suit with a tie. Sitting at the other chair, dressed in a blue-gray business dress was a demon with a gray gas mask for a face along with long light blonde hair. They were live on the air.

 “Good afternoon!” said the man. “I’m Karter Killjoy.”

 “And I’m Tam Trench!” said the masked woman. “Chaos at Pentagram City today as a turf war is raging on the west side between notable queen Madam Zmeya and self-proclaimed spunky powerhouse Chere Bomb!”

Two pictures surrounded by flame borders showed Madam Zmeya wearing a yellow “music band” shirt, doing a peace sign and wearing a pair of sunglasses with a dopey expression on her face. The other picture showed Chere Bomb flipping the bird with a grin and standing under glittering spotlights.

 “That’s right Tam!” Karter added. “After the recent extermination, many areas are now up for grabs! Demons all over Hell are already duking it out to gain new territory!”

 The clips showed Madam Zmeya fighting Chere Bomb with her egg minions.

 “Those two seem to really be going at it, huh? Looks like they’re fighting tooth and nail for that hot spot!” Karter popped a tooth and a nail into his mouth.

 “And I’d sure like to nail his hot spot!” Tam Trench said with a giggle.

 Karter chuckled forcefully. “You are a shriveled pussy jackass, Tam. Or should I say…”

 Adding insult and injury, he poured his hot coffee over her groin and spilled more onto her breasts…

 “No pussy!”

 “Augh! Not again!” she groaned.

 Another picture surrounded by a border of flames displayed Charlie with the letters “Prince of Hell” next to it.

 Karter continued. “Coming up next, we have an exclusive interview with the son of Hell’s own head honcho, who’s here to discuss his brand new passion-project!”

 Tam Trench winced in pain on the desk.

 “All that and more after the break!”

 Karter broke his white mug in his hand, and turned to Tam Trench. “Suck it up you little bitch…”

 The TV went off air, displaying Karter’s mouth and eyes, colored bars and “off air” with a pentagram in the “O”.

  Inside the break room, Vaggus adjusted Charlie’s black bowtie. Nearby, a red tinted sign said that smoking was, indeed, allowed. Another sign read “on air,” in large letters.

 Vaggus had died at age 22 in 2014. He was El Salvadorian and had died from a gang rape of both men and women for being gay. He remembered the jeers from the evil crowd towering over him as they taunted, “You should enjoy this, she-male!” as a woman pinned him down with ecstasy in her eyes. After being brutally beaten, his body was then set on fire. Ever since then, he mistrusted nearly every woman he saw, carrying a harpoon wherever he went. Vaggus could say he was lucky to have found Charlie.

 “Okay, you remember what to say?” Vaggus asked. He had a light gray face and sharp short white bangs over part of his face. The bangs obscured his left eye, which had a pink x over it, He wore a loose white shirt with xs over his nipples. He wore long pants with stripes on them. The left leg had gray and pink stripes down it. Little red horns stuck out from his head, which grew sharper and longer whenever he got angry…which was often. He also wore a torn gray jacket. He eyed his boyfriend expectantly with his orange eye.

 Charlie took a deep breath, enthusiasm in his voice. “Yes! Let’s do this!”

 Vaggus put a comforting hand on his shoulder. He signaled with two fingers for him to pay attention. “Just, look at me and I’ll mouth it to you.”

 Charlie sighed. “Come on, Vaggus! I know what to say!”

 He walked over to the pitcher of red punch. “I just feel like we need to…I don’t know, make things sound more exciting…”

 He tossed a donut aside before gasping.

 “Oh! What if I…”

 “Sing a song about it?” Vaggus finished.

 “You knew I was gonna say that.” He playfully tapped his friend on the nose. Vaggus chuckled after Charlie poked his nose.

 Vaggus adjusted Charlie’s bowtie again and shook his shoulders. “Because I know you. But please don’t sing. This is serious.” He pounded his fist onto his hand.

 Charlie snapped his fingers and briefly winked. “Well, you know, I find I’m better at expressing myself through song!” He stood on the table and arched his arms dramatically. Down below, the prince’s red goat demons Shimmer and Glimmer chewed on donuts.

 “But life isn’t a musical, dude,” Vaggus reminded him.

 “Fine,” Charlie said with a slump. Then he brightened again.

 “But I do have these other ideas of what to say.”

 He hopped off the table and pulled out a piece of paper, hopping excitedly.

“The highlighted bits are the best parts!”

 Vaggus took the paper and scanned it in disbelief. “Uh, it’s all highlighted. Is this a drawing?”

 “Yes!” Charlie answered. He pointed to his picture. It showed a list that read: “4, unicorn kisses,” “5, dolphin high-fives?” and “6, sing show tunes = happy ending!” He drew stick figures of demons standing on clouds under a rainbow with a sun and red hearts with faces on them.

  “That’s the happy ending, see? Everyone’s smiling and happy in Heaven!”

 “I don’t think it’s that simple,” Vaggus stated. He then begged him: “Just please follow the talking points we went over.”

 He pulled Charlie close and stared him directly in the eyes. “And do. Not. Sing.”

 Charlie sighed exasperatedly. “Fine.” Then he trotted over and spoke in an accent. “I’ll just have to resort to my impeccable improv skills.” He gave a salute, several moves of his head and went outside.

 Vaggus somehow knew that this would not end well.

 “Biggest Blame Fool”

 Charlie walked over to Karter Killjoy, who posed in his red suit, smoking a cigarette.

 “Hi! I’m Charlie.”

 He waved and held out his hand.

 “Karter Killjoy,” the man deadpanned before blowing out smoke and snapping his cigarette. “I’d say it’s a ‘pleasure’ to meet you, but that would be a lie. You can put that away,” he regarded Charlie’s hand. “I don’t touch the gays. I have standards.”

 “Yeah?” Charlie asked nervously, looking at a big flashing sign that read “Hell’s #1 News!” “How’s uh…how’s that working for ya?”

 “Look, my time is money, so I’ll keep this short,” Karter cut in. He invasively tapped Charlie’s chest and nose with his finger. “We’re not here because we wanted you here. You’re here because Amelia couldn’t make it for her infanticide segment.”

 Karter mentioned to a billboard that showed a pale black haired woman cradling several dead babies in her arms.  “A Dyer case!” was the tagline. “Who approved this show?�� was written on a sticky note tapped to the corner of the advertisement. Tam Trench shook her head in her seat. “Sex! Murder! Weather!” were displayed on a column of three smaller signs.

 Karter slicked back his hair, flexed his thin arms, and continued: “You might be some royal bigshot, but that doesn’t mean shit to me. I’m too rich and too influential to give a flying fuck about what some tux-wearing demon “prince” wants to advertise.”

 “But I…” Charlie began.

 “So don’t get cocky with me, bastard,” he warned, getting into Charlie’s face, “Or I will fucking wipe the floor with you!”

 “And we’re live!” said a voice.

 Karter rushed back into his seat with a bony crack of his neck.

 “Welcome back!”

 Charlie sat in a chair next to him.

 “So, Prince Charles Magne…”

 “It’s Charlie,” he squeaked.

 “Whatever,” Karter dismissed. He took a frustrated breath and clicked his red pen in his hand. “Tell us about this new passion project you’ve been insistently pestering our news station about!”

 “Well…” Charlie cleared his throat. He looked nervously at the demonic crew in front of him. A demon with a TV head, had “words” flashed across the screen in angry red letters. There was a girl with a black hat for a face, an Egyptian-like male with a white poodle, a man with teal skin, a demon with glasses and green snake hair, a demon with two thin heads, several red horned demons and a few Overlords. Another man wore a hat with hanging beads and colorful Day of the Dead makeup on his face. Vaggus encouraged him to go on.

 Charlie took a deep breath, his voice soft spoken.

 “As most of you know, I was born here in Hell, and growing up, I’ve always tried to see the good in everything around me.”

 Karter clicked his pen impatiently. He spotted a green caterpillar and stabbed it with his pen with a predatory grin. Ink splattered on Charlie’s face and around the area.

 Charlie continued, wiping off the dark pink ink from his face: “Hell is my home and…you are my people. We…”

 Vaggus gave him a thumbs up and a smile.

 “…we just went through another extermination. We lost so many souls, and it breaks my heart to see my people being slaughtered every year.” His voice rose. “And no one is even given a chance!”

 Charlie banged his fist on the desk, waking Karter from a bored drooling daze. A buff demon with horns and four eyes with a skull bull face wore a shirt with the word “crew” on it. An imp with a heart on his forehead stood nearby.

Charlie made his way forward. “I can’t stand idly by while the place I live is subjected to such violence! So, I’ve been thinking. Isn’t there a more humane way to hinder overpopulation here in Hell? Perhaps we can create an alternative way to change souls through…redemption?”

 Charlie pulled the buff demon into a side hug. “Well, I think yes. So that’s what this project aims to achieve!” He ran back to the desk.

 “Ladies and gentlemen, I’m opening the first of its kind! A hotel that rehabilitates sinners!”

 The audience stared in stunned silence as Charlie raised his arms. Not even the flesh-eating crickets were chirping through the awkward quiet.

 A bloodstained logo “Radio Hack” was displayed above a window which provided a stack of a dozen TVs inside. One demon watching had deer antlers and a flaming blue face, one of the many cruel Overlords. Sobtiny, the 90’s rocker hellhound, stood with a little demon wearing a jester hat upside down. Two hellhound twins stood nearby, one with dyed red hair, the other purple. A neon sign nearby read “Bar” “Klub Kanji,” and “used TVs.”

In a bar, dark demons wearing cowboy hats were playing pool, not even paying attention. The lead gun faced demon wore a cloth over his grinning face and had a large barrel gun for a face. Her friend looked like a demonic bug, and another looked like a wicked witch from an old film. Meanwhile in a bar, purple and blue dragon-like demons sat and drank while casually watching the TVs overhead.

 Charlie stuttered, “Ya know…’Cause hotels are for people passing through…temporarily…”

 A tattooed dark blue reptile demon stood up and let out a loud laugh.

 “Is this guy for real? He thinks, you hear what he thinks? He…heh, heh, heh, oh he’s nuts.” The demon walked away with a small lavender creature and a tall maroon being wearing punk rock clothing and crazy neon hair.

 Charlie added, “I figure it would serve a purpose…a place work toward redemption!” He weakly added, “Yay.”

 One dragon demon leaped away as a tall shadowy figure stood in the background. The sound of tap shoes approached.

 The figure stood right next to a ratted flier which read “Beware her! Do not fuck with her!” “The Radio Demon” and “Radio Sounds!” was scrawled in white on demons screaming and fleeing from a monster.

 The woman smiled and tilted her head a notch as she watched the TV with curiosity and amusement. Her shadow next to her briefly morphed into a shadowy face with fluffy ears. She spotted the fliers out of the corner of her red eyes, holding in a laugh.

 “Who, me? ‘Obviously’ not! I’d never put on a show and make other demons flee to their graves.”

 Just the thought of it got her excited.

 She had heard of the demon prince before, but she wasn’t expecting him to appear on TV. She certainly never heard of an idea so crazy before. Making sinners good people was even less likely than making pigs fly (which was one magic trick she could easily do).

 When Charlie started to sing, the red eyed demon couldn’t help but tap her cloven feet and silently hum along.

 “Haven’t been this entertained since I broadcasted my massacre of the Ninth Ring. This cute Charlie character is intriguing…”

 Befriending the prince, and doing something different seemed like a good idea. She glanced over at a faraway Happy Hotel building.

 The sorceress knew where she would go next.

  Back at the news station, a camerawoman with blue hair and a white face looked up and scoffed, “Stupid punk.”

 Vaggus punched her hard in the face in response, causing her to fall off the chair to the ground.

 Charlie stared around him, concerned. “Look, every single one of you has something good deep down inside. I know you do.”

 A light bulb went off in his head and he smirked. “Maybe I’m not getting through to you…”

 Vaggus face palmed, knowing what was coming next. “Oh no…”

 Charlie snapped his fingers and his bodyguard demons appeared. One sat and began to play a grand piano.

 Summoning the Disney prince within him, Charlie belted out his song:

  “I have a dream

I’m here to tell

About a wonderful, fantastic new hotel

Yes, it’s one of a kind

Right here in Hell

Catering to a specific clientele”

 Shimmer and Glimmer howled along…

The tempo rapidly picked up…

 “Inside of every demon is a rainbow

Inside every sinner is a shiny smile

Inside of every creepy hatchet-wielding maniac

Is a jolly, happy cupcake-loving child”

 “We can turn around

They’ll be heaven-bound!

With just a little time

Down at the Happy Hotel!”

 “So all you junkies, freaks and weirdos

Creepers, fuck-ups, crooks, and zeroes

And the fallen superheroes, help is here!

All of you cretins, sluts and losers

Sexual deviants and boozers

And prescription drug abusers

Need not fear

Forever again

We’ll cure your sin

We’ll make you well

You’ll feel so swell

Right here in Hell at the Happy Hotel!”

  “There’ll be no more fire

And there’ll be no more screams

Just puppy dog kisses, and cotton candy dreams

And puffy-wuffy clouds

You’re gonna be all like, wow!

Once you check in with me!”

 “So all your cartoon porn addictions

Vegan rants, psychic predictions

Ancient Roman crucifixions

End right here!”

 “All you monsters, thieves and crazies

Cannibals and crying babies

Frothing mouthers full of rabies

Fill with cheer!”

 “You’ll be complete!

It’ll be so neat!

Our service can’t be beat!

You’ll be on easy street! (Yes!)

Life will be sweet at the Happy Hotel!

Yeah!”

  Throughout the song, Charlie imagined giving a shiny cupcake to a masked killer, holding cotton candy and a brown puppy in his arms in the clouds…avoiding the attacks of every horror movie serial killer… (Music Logic)

He pictured throwing drugs into a bin of fire, giving shots to monsters, giving money to charity, disturbing porn additions with a bra…

 Snatching a “my waifu” and “my husbando” porn mags of out a demon’s hands…

 Throwing away demon’s cell phones…

 Knocking over crosses…

 Avoiding a scary spider overlord with yellow bat wings and pink eyes all over her body…

 Giving demons big hugs…

 Charlie emerging in his horned demon form from a flaming pentagram, and jumping with joy in a land full of candy, rainbows, and ice cream.

 Charlie finished with a pose on the table, arms in the air and panted.

 The top hat demon smiled. “Wow! That was…shit!”

 The crowd burst into rancorous laughter and boos, including a blue demon made of fire in the boo section. Karter shrieked and banged his fist on the table. Charlie sank down to his knees in embarrassment.

 “What in the nine circles of Hell makes you think a single denizen of Hell would give two shits about becoming a better person? You have no proof that this little experiment even works! You want people to be good just…because?”

 Charlie lifted up his head. “Well, we have a patron already who believes in our cause, and she’s shown incredible progress!”

 “Oh?” Karter asked, leaning in, “…and who might that be?”

 “Oh just someone named…Angela Dust.”

 “The porn star?” asked Tam Trench in disbelief. She subconsciously unzipped her zipper and Karter whirled on her; “You fucking would, Tam!” His sharp nails left marks on the table. “I’m not listening to a woman!”

 Karter turned back to Charlie. “In any case, that’s not even an accomplishment. I’m sure you can get that hooker to do anything with enough booger sugar and lube.”

 Someone wolf-whistled in the audience.

 “Oh, I beg to differ,” Charlie argued, holding up his fingers. “She’s been behaved, clean, and out of trouble for two whole weeks.”

 “Breaking news!” announced a voice as music came on. Excited, Karter pushed Charlie aside. “We are receiving word that a new player has entered the ongoing turf war! Let’s go check out the live feed!”

 To Charlie’s sheer horror, Angela Dust was seen on screen, crushing egg shells and fighting with Chere Bomb.

 “Oh shit,” Charlie breathed.

 “Oh shit indeed!” exclaimed Karter with a grin. “It looks like the one who has just joined the battle is none other than…”

 He let out a dramatic gasp…”porn actor Angela Dust! What a juicy coincidence!”

 The screen showed Angela Dust with the words “Angela Dust in ‘Well, Ok’: 18+.” Dicks and boobs were blurred.

 Satisfied, he turned back to Charlie. “You must feel really stupid right now.” Karter and Tam laughed again.

 “Ratings!” they added with jazz hands.

 “Don’t look at this!” Charlie called, waving his arms in vain from behind the screen.

 “Well, it sure looks like your little project is dead on arrival,” Karter smirked. “Tell us, how does it feel to be such a total failure?”

 Failure. Failure…Charlie could see his doubt reflected in Karter’s pink eyes and overbearing shadowy figure. Karter and everyone laughed some more, their jeers painful to Charlie’s ears.

 “Yeah?” Charlie asked. He snatched up Karter’s red pen and held it triumphantly. “Well, how does it feel that I got your pen, huh? Sissy!”

 Karter glared dangerously. Charlie dropped the pen with a nervous smile, “Oops.”

 Tam leaped out of the way.

 Karter grew taller, his form turning to shadow. Out sprouted claws, four extra sharp appendages, and four red eyes on his face like a spider. He launched himself at Charlie. Charlie clawed at his hair and landed punches as the alarm went off in the news room. Karter crawled on the desk on multiple legs like an insect, baring his fangs before Charlie jumped at him and knocked him off the table. Tam Trench screamed as her body was set on fire. “Why won’t anyone help me?!”

 Charlie eventually ran out of the news room, Karter following close behind, as everyone yelled.

 “And stay out, you retarded faggot!” Karter cussed as Charlie made a run for it down the sidewalk. Charlie was tempted to strangle the homophobic, news bigshot with his bare hands…but that would only contradict his goal…if he even had one anymore.

 Vaggus followed him and the two of them didn’t say a word as they waited for their ride. Soon enough, a white limo with a monster mouth on the front of the vehicle rolled to the curb. Vaggus and Charlie climbed in…and so did an ecstatic Angela Dust. The doors closed and they drove off toward the Happy Hotel.

    “Your Fault”

Charlie had never felt so humiliated in his life. He sat in his seat and curled into himself. Once again, his ideas were dismissed, mocked, ridiculed. No one was willing to see the good in themselves. The demons were content to wallow in suffering, violence, and cruelty until the end of their afterlives. Tears were already threatening to spill from his yellow eyes, but he held them in.

 Maybe his mother was right. What if he really was a failure, like everyone said?

 As if reading his mind, Vaggus gave him a small hug next to him. “You’re not a failure, Charlie. It’s just…no one understands your ideas. People think they’re…I don’t know…outlandish?”

 He got a sad sigh from Charlie in response. “I just wanted to make things better for my people. I know I don’t feel much like a prince, but at the same time…I feel like it’s my duty…my destiny to being some cheer to this place.”

 “Heh. No one can ever top your optimism,” Vaggus mentioned, with a playful roll of his eyes. “Your happiness can be spotted miles away.”

A small smile formed on Charlie’s face. “Well, at least I can pull myself up and keep going…”

 Vaggus stared, hopeful…

 “…But today isn’t one of those days.”

 Vaggus slumped slightly. “I did warn you not to sing.”

 “I couldn’t help it,” he countered. “How else was I supposed to get my message across?”

 “Not everyone likes singing and music all the time.”

 “My family does.”

 “But the other demons aren’t your family.”

  Charlie stared out the window at the buildings whizzing by. “Sometimes I feel like my family is bigger than just my parents.” He turned to look at his boyfriend. “You’re my best friend, sorta like my older brother…and the only one who seems to get me. You’re part of my family already.”

 Vaggus chuckled softly. “Without me, you wouldn’t have lasted very long out in the big world.”

 “For once, I agree with you there,” Charlie replied.

 During several minutes of silence, the two demon boys locked hands just out of sight. It was their habitual way of showing comfort, and it worked on the many days when Vaggus didn’t want any hugs.

 “Don’t get too discouraged,” Vaggus said. “We’ll get back to the hotel and figure things out from there.”

 “I kinda feel like singing another lament now.”

 “Please don’t.”

 “Fine.”

 The limo drove past the 666 Shop, the Nightmare Night Club, and an Evil Donuts store, complete with slime and worms displayed on the donut structure. Pink eyes decorated the ceiling of the car. Charlie curled into himself again, and took a puff of a breath. Even the painted eyes seemed to judge his every move. He glanced over at Vaggus, whose eye was twitching in annoyance.

 Angela Dust was busy playing with the button, making the car window go up and down, up and down. She froze when she saw an angry Vaggus staring at her. Vaggus’ small red horns stood up in agitation whenever he got angry.

 “What?” Angela asked with a shrug.

 “What? What?!” Vaggus shouted, pulling out chunks of his short white hair. “What were you doing?!”

 Angela sighed. “Aw come on! I owed my boy buddy a solid! Isn’t that a ‘redeeming quality?’ Helping friends with stuff?”

 “Not with turf wars that result in mass murder and destruction!” Vaggus replied.

 “Eh, you win some, you lose a few hundred,” she said with a snicker. “It wasn’t that bad anyway.”

 She propped up her long legs and pushed the window button again. Vaggus tossed a dagger at the button and it fizzed out in a shower of sparks. Angela stared, shocked and terrified. Vaggus growled in warning.

 “Aw come on, I had to!” Angela protested. “My credibility was on the line!” She sighed. “I mean what kind of reputation would I have of people found out I was trying to go clean? It just throws out my entire persona.” She lifted up her furry chest, bouncing her white furry breasts up and down.

 “Your credibility?” Vaggus asked in anger. “What about the hotel? Your little stunt made us look like a fucking joke!”

“No, no no, babe. Jokes are funny! I made you look…uh, sad. And pathetic! Like an orphan, with no arms. Or legs. Uh…oh with progeria!” Charlie covered his face with his hands as Angela blabbered on.

 “Great! Now I’m bummed just thinking about it! This thing have any liquor?” She bent down to the floor and tossed a bottle aside. She then flicked a wrapper away onto a seat.

 Vaggus was fuming. “Can you please just try to take this seriously?”

 “Fine, I’ll try. Just don’t get your taco in a twist, fairy.”

 Vaggus stood up with hands on his hips. “Was that you trying to be homophobic or racist?”

 “Whatever pisses you off more. Is there seriously no liquor in here?”

 “I’m gonna kill her,” Vaggus swore, crossing his arms and sitting back down.

 “Too, late, dude. Wait, would that make me double dead?” She laughed slowly and loudly. “And where exactly do I go? To double Hell?”

 She laughed again. “Sorry, you’re stuck with me, bastard. Get used to it.”

 Vaggus swore in Spanish.

 “Listen, who cares if some jagoffs got hurt?” Angela nonchalantly asked. “Most of them are ugly freaks. Look around! Got a bunch of fuckin’ harlequin babies down there.”

 “You’re one to talk,” Vaggus muttered with a small smirk.

 Angela laughed then yelled “Hey!” in protest. “This body is flawless! Everyone wants some of me and I’ve got the creepy fan letters to prove it!”

 She pulled out a dirty piece of paper from in between her boobs that read: “Show me your feet! Brenda. #1 fan/critic.” There was a picture of a young Angela in the lap of a naked fat lady, licking Angela with her green tongue. She had a tattoo of Angela with a red crossed out sign.

 This time, Charlie spoke up. “That was really uncool, y’know, Angela.”

 Vaggus growled and turned to his friend. “Uncool?!” He mentioned to Angela. “After that train-wreck, there is no way anyone is gonna wanna stay at the hotel.” He turned to the spider. “All thanks to you and your selfish bullshit!”

 Angela glanced at a discarded pile of ash and used cigarettes. “Does this mean I don’t get a free room anymore?”

 Vaggus spread out his hands as if asking “Well, what do you think?”

 She let out a mock sigh and snap. “Ah, well, shucks.”

 Charlie pulled off his dark pink shirt, revealing a white shirt with a black bowtie.

 “Hey, come on, we don’t know if things are over yet. Try to relax, Vaggus. It’ll be okay!”

 Now it was Vaggus’ turn to let out a small smile of thanks. Charlie placed a comforting hand on his shoulder, and his friend calmed down.

 “What would I do without you?” Vaggus asked. He and Charlie slowly leaned into each other, their heads gently touching.

 “Get a room, boys!” Angela remarked, before receiving a “Shut up!” from both of them.

  Finally, the deviant crew arrived at the Happy Hotel. It was an elegant building fit for any demon who wanted to stay a few nights. Eye designs lined the border of a dark pink circus canopy at the front like a creepy mosaic. Branches jutted out from the roof as part of the structure. Old fashioned lanterns attached to the wall had flames flickering inside, nonstop. The double doors consisted of stained glass windows with red apples in the center. Little stained glass snake eyes peered unblinkingly at them from around the larger window in the door.

 Angela, Vaggus, and Charlie got out of the car and threw open the double doors. A random black bug scurried away from the incoming light. A yellow sign read “Concierge” behind a pink “welcome” banner. The check in table was decorated with colored flags leaning toward the floor and random balloons with small star shapes on them. A vase was decorated with yellow eyes along the sides. Another flower pot was in the shape of a human mouth…white flowers posed above. Vaggus sighed and plopped onto a red cushioned couch in the style of a monster’s mouth.

 The red rug down the hallway was decorated with the same eyeball designs, apples on the end, plus shadow skulls of horned monsters in the center.

 All around the room, were pictures of Charlie as a little boy with his father and mother on various trips. One picture showed him and Vaggus in front of a castle at Loo-Loo World, Hells’ version of Disney World.

 Angela Dust came across a red fridge leaning low against the wall. She opened the door and pulled out a purple box labeled “Popsies.” She shrugged at the dripping ruined box and took out a popsicle. She gave it a lick.

 “It’s prolly a good idea to get some actual food in this place. Y’know, to feed all the wayward souls ya got in here.” She laughed nervously, trying to cheer Charlie up. But Charlie just sat sadly on a wooden box in a darkened area of the room. Angela closed the fridge door, sucked on a popsicle and reached out one of her arms to him…then hesitated. She walked away, letting him have some alone time.

 Charlie walked past the two posing elephant statues balancing balls on their trunks, and toward the front door. He opened the door and went outside. Holding out his purple cell phone, (or “Hell Phone, hah, get it?”) he pressed an icon with the word “Dad” decorated with a heart and horns on the d’s.

 Charlie took a deep breath as a voicemail tone came through.

 “Hey Dad. Um, I know I keep calling, and you must be busy. Really busy. But, um…the interview didn’t go well and…I don’t know if I’m going to make a difference. I don’t know what I’m doing. I could really use some advice, Dad.”

 He slid down and sat on the stone ground, tears falling from his eyes. He wiped some away with his arm. “I think mom was right about me. A-anyway, I’ll stop talking before this gets too long. Love you! Bye.”

 He ended the call with a tap and rubbed his eyes with his hand. Standing back up, he opened the door, closed it, and leaned against the stained glass window, eyes closed.

 What was he supposed to do now?

 “Let’s Misbehave”

 A slow ominous knocking from outside interrupted Charlie’s thoughts. He opened his eyes.

 Knock. Knock, knock, knock, knock. Knock, knock.

 It was a rhythmic knock, sounding like “shave and a haircut.” (Or was it “skunks in a barnyard”, or “imps in a cauldron?” He wasn’t sure.

   An ice cold feeling of dread spread through his veins. No other demon would ever do that kind of knock.

 Unless…

 He tentatively reached out his hand to the door handle, and quickly pulled it open.

 Sure enough, the most feared demon in Hell was standing right outside his door.

 She stood a head taller than him, wearing an elegant long dark red dress decorated with thin light red stripes going down it. Several tatters were visible at the helm. The area below her neck had a red undershirt with a black downward facing pentagram for decoration. The pentagram was framed by more lace in a v shape. She wore dark stitched up leggings and black high heels with red deer prints underneath them. Black gloves with red fingertips covered her long fingers.

 And her face…momentarily her figure and face were pretty to Charlie but he quickly became terrified as he looked up. Her face was a sickly gray and her sharp yellow teeth were set in a wide grin. Her long hair was red and black, the smaller black ends tapering off past her shoulders. The rest of her hair was red, up to the black tips of her two fluffy deer like tufts perched on top of her head. She had no antlers. A red vintage microphone staff was a magical item she carried with her. A monocle rested under her right eye.

 Alastra was born French Creole in New Orleans in the early 1900s. She was very close to her African American father who taught her about hunting and Voodoo rituals. In contrast, her white Christian mother hardly paid any attention to her. Although her mother taught her how to sew and cook, she also expected her to take on woman responsibilities of marriage, housekeeping and rearing children. Alastra had light brown skin and beautiful long brown hair.

 Alastra would have none of it, instead she dreamed of playing in a jazz band and performing on stage... and did so for a period of time. But being a woman of color, she had it difficult since the beginning. She applied for music and radio jobs, always being turned down and shooed away. Racist and sexual remarks became daily background noise, almost impossible to ignore. Her mother would frequently give her black eyes and beat her. Several tragic events happened, including her mother sending her to an insane asylum to rot away. She had been diagnosed with narcissism and a sexual disorder. (Why didn’t she want to fall in love with a man?) She managed to escape to the cabin. When her father was drafted for the war and later died, she was devastated at the loss. After being raped and almost killed by men she thought were her friends, she decided enough was enough.

 Alastra eventually became a radio host, Voodoo Queen, and serial killer. After her mother threatened to divorce the family, Alastra killed her with a gun and ate her remains. She killed both men and women but preferred luring women to her home where she would poison their food and drinks. Knives, axes, guns, she used them all. After killing off several higher ups, she managed to form her own radio studio and became the most famous radio host in Louisiana.

 Alastra basked in her fame and wealth, even meeting blonde dapper performer Desperado, who was head over heels for her. But Alastra didn’t want to be tied down to anyone. She would talk about the murders, play jazz music and tell dad jokes, which she dubbed “mom” jokes. Alastra enjoyed the Stock Market Crash but soon found herself running out of food. She resorted to cannibalism for survival. No one suspected her until 1933. She got bitten by a rabies dog and ran through the woods. She died a brutal death after being shot in the head and mauled by police dogs at the same time.

 Due to the deals she had made with otherworldly demons, Alastra gained dark eldritch powers she used to topple Overlords and take over several areas. Broadcasting her massacres was both entertaining and was used as a way to let others know she was not to be messed with. She had an army of slave souls plus two pet alligator demons. She hated Vox and her modern technology. Her fluffy red and black deer tail was hidden under her dress as well as the many scars across her thin body. No one knew if Alastra wanted Charlie to succeed or not, but she would use any means necessary to accomplish her goals. (But oh how she missed her father dearly.)

 Alastra’s large eyes glowed red as a radio buzz briefly sounded. Charlie’s eyes went wide as saucers.

 The woman began to speak, her voice sounding like it was being spoken through a radio.

  “Hell…”

 Charlie slammed the door in her face.

 Opened the door…

 “…o.”

 Slammed it again.

  The woman stood, shocked in front of the stained glass door, smile still plastered on her face, hand and curved claw in the air.

 “Well… that was…rude,” she thought. “Usually people are too sacred to answer when I come by. Or they rush to try and please me because they know I could slaughter them at any time. I’ll just wait here then…or maybe break this door down…”

  “Hey, Vaggus?” Charlie called.

 “What?” Vaggus replied in annoyance on the couch.

 Charlie flashed a nervous smile. “The Radio Demon is at the door!”

 “What?!” he demanded.

 “Uh, who?” Angela asked. She sucked erotically on her popsicle.

 “What should I do?” he asked, pulling at his lower eyelids.

 “Well, don’t let her in!” exclaimed Vaggus.

 Charlie was tempted to do just that. But he also had a duty to not leave any sinners behind. He took a breath, eyes furrowed and opened the door again.

 “May I speak now?” the red demon asked.

 “You may…” Charlie replied.

 The woman held out her gloved hand which briefly glowed. “Alastra, pleasure to be meeting you, sweetheart, quite a pleasure.”

 She eagerly grabbed his wrist and leaned her face close to his before strutting inside. Charlie stood, dumbfounded, his hand still out.

 “Excuse my sudden visit,” she went on, “but I saw your fiasco on a picture show and I just couldn’t resist. What a performance!” She raised her arms before walking forward. “Why I haven’t been that entertained since the Stock Market Crash of 1929!”

 She bobbed her head side to side and burst into laughter. “So many orphans!”

 Vaggus suddenly pointed a spear weapon at her and the doe froze. “Stop right there!” He swore in Spanish under his breath. “I know your game. And I’m not gonna let you hurt anyone else here, you pompous, cheesy, talk show shit lady!”

 Angela peeked around the corner to see what was going on.

 Alastra merely laughed slightly and nudged the weapon away with her fingers.

 “Little man, if I wanted to hurt anyone here…”

 She added in a low creepy tone, “I would have done so already.”

 Her red eyes briefly turned to red radio dials as radio static filled the room. She tilted her head slightly, letting her chaotic magic roam. Vaggus and Charlie were frozen in fear as they caught glimpses of red Voodoo symbols, static, and warped reality.

 Then just as quickly, the noise and magic ceased and Alastra shook her head, eyes back to full red. Her eyes had briefly been black with red pupils.

 “No, I’m here because I want to help!” She curtsied.

 Charlie was sure he hadn’t heard her right.

 “Say what now?” he asked, eyebrows raised.

 “Help!” she responded with another laugh. She held up her microphone staff.

 “Hello? Is this thing on? Testing, testing…”

 She tapped it and a glowing red eye appeared in the center.

 “Well, I heard you loud and clear!” the microphone responded in a feminine tone, eye shaking in fear.

  “Um…you want to help?” Charlie asked.

 Alastra appeared behind the demon boys, hands on their backs, switching from a shadow to her regular self. Both Vaggus and Charlie flinched.

 “With…” she mentioned in an imitation of Charlie’s soft voice…

 “…this ridiculous thing you’re trying to do!” finishing in her normal voice. “This hotel!”

 Charlie could hear the call bell ding twice on the table, even though no one was there to ring it.

 “I want to help you run it.”

 “Uh…why?” Charlie asked, confused.

 Alastra laughed again. “Why does anyone do anything? Sheer absolute boredom!”

  She curled up her fingers before putting her hands up to her cheeks. She then moved off to the side. “I’ve lacked inspiration for decades!”

 She placed her elbow on an annoyed Vaggus’ head. Then she shoved the moth demon aside.

  “My work became mundane, lacking focus, aimless! I’ve come to crave a new form of entertainment!”

 She laughed again, spreading out her arms.

 Charlie looked downcast as Vaggus stood up with a scowl. “Does getting into a fist fight with a reporter count as entertainment?”

 Alastra laughed again. “It’s the purest kind, my dear! Reality! True passion! After all, the world is a stage! And the stage is a world of entertainment!”

 She smiled and titled her head.

 Charlie brightened a bit. “So, does this mean that you think it’s possible to rehabilitate a demon?”

 Alastra help up a hand and laughed. “Of course not. That’s wacky nonsense! Redemption, oh the non-existent humanity! Nononono, I don’t think there’s anything left that could save such loathsome sinners!”

 She grinned at Vaggus and Angela who sat on the couch and shrugged.

  She continued. “The chance given was the life they lived before; the punishment is this!”

  She spread out her arms. “There is no undoing what is done!”

 “So then, why do you want to help me if you don’t believe in my cause?” Charlie asked.

 Alastra smirked and looked at Charlie over her shoulder. “Consider it an investment in ongoing entertainment for myself!”

 She pulled Charlie close to her with her arm and twirled the shorter demon around in a quick dance. “I want to watch the scum of the world struggle to climb up the hill of betterment! Only to repeatedly trip and tumble down into the fiery pit of failure.” Her eyes glowed red in pleasure.

  “Right…” Charlie began, slowly removing her clawed hand from his shoulder.

 Alastra took him aside for a walk. “Yes indeedy! I see big things coming your way, and who better to help than I.”

 “A Cautionary Tale”

 “Ah, so uh, what’s the deal with Miss Smiles over there?” Angela asked Vaggus.

 “Wait, you’ve never heard of her before?” Vaggus asked. “You’ve been here longer than me!”

 Angela shrugged her shoulders.

 “The Radio Demon, one of the most powerful beings Hell has ever seen?” Vaggus asked.

 “Eh, I’m not too big on politics,” Angela replied.

 Vaggus let out a deep annoyed sigh before leaning in close to explain.

 “Decades ago, Alastra manifested in Hell, seemingly overnight. She began to topple Overlords who had been dominant for centuries. That kind of raw power has never been harnessed by a mortal soul before. Then, she broadcast her carnage all throughout Hell, just so everyone could witness her ability. Sinners started calling her The Radio Demon. (As lazy as that is). Many have speculated what unimaginable force enabled her to rival our world’s most ancient and destructive evils. But one thing’s for sure: She’s an unpredictable source of danger, a wicked spirit of mystery, and a violent monster of chaos, the likes of which we cannot risk getting involved with, unless we want to end up erased.”

 Flashes of Alastra in her full demon form, a giant red doe with a long lavender tongue, sharp teeth, long dark claws, glowing red eyes and large ears appeared on screen. She grinned as she hovered her claws over the demonic faces of voodoo imps and minions. Her dress revealed a flaming hole where screaming demons struggled to escape.

 “Ya done?” Angela asked with a snicker. “She looks like a strawberry pimp!”

 Alastra conjured her staff into her hand with a smug look.

 “Well, I don’t trust her!” Vaggus exclaimed.

 To be fair, do you trust any woman? Any women? Women?” Angela asked with a slight laugh.

 Vaggus ignored her and walked up in front of his friend.

 “Charlie, listen to me. You can’t believe this creep! She isn’t just a happy face! She’s a dealmaker, pure evil! She can’t be redeemed! And is most likely looking for a way to destroy everything we’re trying to do.”

 “I…” Charlie began. “…we don’t know that. Look…I know she’s bad, and I know she probably doesn’t wanna change, but the whole point of this is to give people a chance! To have faith things will be better! How can I turn someone away? I can’t. It goes against everything I’m trying to do. Everything I believe in.”

 Alastra stared in fascination at a family picture on the wall. It showed Lucinda dressed in white, Lilium in a dark purple suit, and Charlie as a little boy wearing a brown and white suit in the middle. The picture border consisted of branches and yellow eyeballs and a dried rose in the upper right hand corner.

 “Such a lovely portrait! A picture of perfection! It’d be such a shame if something awful were to happen to them…”

 “Just trust me,” Charlie added, placing comforting hands on his boyfriend’s shoulders, “I can take care of myself.”

 Charlie,” warned Vaggus, “Whatever you do, do not make a deal with her!”

 From a distance, Alastra opened up the palm of one hand, claws curled. Both boys glanced in her direction, worry on their faces.

 “I’ll have these two in the palm of my hand…”

 ��Don’t worry,” Charlie replied to Vaggus with a chuckle. “I picked up one thing from my Mom…”

 He spoke in a higher womanly voice as he walked away, “Ya don’t take shit from other demons!”

 Gathering his courage, Charlie marched over to the Radio Demon.

 “Ok, so…Al. You’re sketchy as fuck, and you clearly see what I’m trying to do here is a joke. But I don’t.”

 Red Voodoo symbols appeared around a grinning Alastra, then vanished. Charlie glanced back at her with narrowed eyes.

 Charlie continued. “I think everyone deserves a chance to prove they can be better. So, I’m taking your offer to help. On the condition that there be no tricks or voodoo strings attached.”

 Alastra twirled her cane and held out her right hand. “So it’s a deal then?”

 Flashes of eerie green light surrounded her, electricity snaking up the walls. Shadows swirled around the room and everyone covered their faces at the force of the wind.

 “Nope!” Charlie yelled, holding out his hands. The energy stopped. “No shaking! No deals! I…hmm…”

 Charlie decided to try another approach.

 “As prince of Hell, and heir to the throne, I uh, hereby order that you help with this hotel, for a long as you desire.”

 A moment of pause…

 “Sound fair?” he asked.

 “Hmm…Fair enough.” Alastra shrugged before she strolled away, cane vanishing.

  “Cool beans.” Charlie breathed a sigh of relief and even did a thumbs up.

 Alastra stopped and spotted Vaggus off to the side. She smirked in a way outside observers would describe as lecherous. She tickled him under his chin with a finger.

 “Smile, good sir! You know you’re never fully dressed without one!”

 Alastra hummed happily on her way, while Vaggus growled in disgust and rage.

 “So…where is your hotel staff?” Alastra asked Charlie.

 “Uh, well…” Charlie began. Alastra peered at Vaggus through her monocle. “Oh ho ho ho, you’re going to need more than that.”

 She walked over towards Angela.

 “And what can you do, my butch fella?”

 Angela grinned. “I can suck your pussy and boobs!”

 A screech was heard as Alastra stared in shock and revulsion.

 “Ha! No.” Alastra deadpanned.

 “Your loss,” Angela said with a slight laugh. Alastra summoned her cane.

 “Well, this just won’t do!” Alastra exclaimed. “I suppose I can cash in a few favors to liven things up!”

 The spell came easily in her mind: “dife sèvitè, reveye.”

  Alastra snapped her fingers and a fire sparked to life in a small circular fireplace. Animal skeletons decorated either side of the wall, fully repaired.

 A dark figure plopped down onto the chimney floor.

 Alastra walked over and picked up the creature with her hand. A large single yellow eye was revealed. Angela, Vaggus, and Charlie peered at the creature. In a puff of smoke and a squeak, the creature revealed herself. A cute cyclops boy was wearing a dark pink butler outfit with a poodle on the front, his short hair dark magenta with a streak of yellow. His upper shirt was white with pink paint stains. White spots were on the left side of his pants.

 “This little rascal is Preppy!” Alastra introduced with a smile, before dropping him. The boy landed on his feet.

 “Hi! I’m Preppy!” he greeted with a wave. “It’s nice to meet you! It’s been a while since I’ve made new friends!” He laughed slightly and his pupil grew smaller, darting in circles.

 “Why are you all men?” he asked. He darted over and lifted Charlie up before putting him down. Vaggus growled, aiming his spear at the newcomer.

 “Are there any women here?! I’m sorry, that’s rude.” He missed the fact that Angela was female, for obvious reasons.

  “Oh man, this place is filthy!” he exclaimed, running around and lifting up couch cushions. “It really needs a more man cave, homey touch, which is weird, because you’re all men, no offence.” He chewed on a black spider he found, then rushed toward some stained glass windows.

 He darted around, using a dust ruffle to clean them, removing spider webs. “Oh my gosh, this is awful! No, no, no…Nope!”

 Preppy raced around, removing cobwebs, then poked at a piece of a voodoo doll. Well, it was actually a blue beetle doll that Alastra had stabbed with a clothing pin for him to play with. Preppy turned and exclaimed, “Oh my goodness, a dirty rat!” He dashed over, scooped up the dark grey creature and popped it into his mouth rapidly. Strained squeaks mingled with rapid chewing sounds. “I bet there’s tons of them under this place, I’ll be sure to get more!”

 Alastra looked amused, while the others stared in disbelief.

 “So fortunate of me to have met him in Hell. A former chimney sweeper in the 20th century. Heard he died from being burned alive in a fireplace. Services are still good! Though, I didn’t give him much of an option to begin with…”

 Meanwhile, at a casino, a cat demon placed a joker, an ace, a 2, and a fourth card down on the table. She had black and white fur, fluffy breasts, wore a black round hat and had red wings with card suits decorated on them. She also had long red eyebrows and wore a red bow tie.

 “Ha!” she declared in triumph. “Read ‘em and weep, girls!”

 She suddenly felt herself being forcefully pulled out of the room through space and time.

  “Full…whoa!”

 “Transpòte ganbadeur la.”

 She ducked as a curtain of red energy surrounded the existing space. Voodoo symbols flashed in the background along with eight yellow eyes, a creepy voodoo skull and a purple skeleton of a worm-like creature. Another voodoo skull with horns appeared for a moment not too far from tan ghost-like spirits with creepy faces and a row of jagged teeth.

 The cat demon figured she must have had too much booze to drink.

 “…the hell?”

 As the images faded, she soon found herself at the hotel bar, not in the previous room at the casino. A large “Come and play Blackjack” sign took up much of the wall behind her. Most peculiar, the gray wood walls were missing halfway up, replaced by the red themed décor of the hotel. She was sitting in a portion of the casino she was in. It felt like she was in a house with no roof surrounded by the outside world.

 “What the fuck is this?”

 She saw Alastra and pointed an accusing claw.

 “You!”

 “Ah, Shella, my good friend!” Alastra cheerfully greeted as audience claps came from the microphone. “Glad you could make it!”

 Alastra’s head briefly had the appearance of large antlers sticking out from either side. When she moved it, it was revealed to be an antler skull with glowing green eyes hanging in the background. Snakes were wrapped around one of the pillars supporting a bar stand. “Big Booze,” “Welcome” and “Big Soul” signs were placed overhead on the stand. Neon green card suits consisted of the designs at the bottom of the stand.

 Shell had been born in Nevada and grew up in a casino. She enjoyed gambling, drinking, money and magic shows. She had died at age 75 in the 1970s.

 “Don’t you “Shella” me, you shady old bitch!” Shell spat, and swiped Alastra’s hand away from her shoulder. “I was about to win the whole damn pot!”

 Shell stared in anger as the stacks of money and chips on the table vanished in static.

 “Good to see you too!” added Alastra.

 Shell face palmed. “What the fuck do you want with me this time?”

 Alastra grabbed hold of her, startling her so much that cards fell from her hands.

 “My friend, I am doing some charity work, so I took it upon myself to volunteer your services! I hope that’s okay.”

 Shell was taken aback. “Are you shittin’ me?!”

 “Hmm. No, I don’t think so!” Alastra replied.

 Shell shoved the Radio Demon off her, the latter casually dusting off her red sleeves. She puffed up her black and white fur in anger, her cat ears twitching. “You thought it would be some kind of big fuckin’ riot just to pull me outta nowhere? You think I’m some kinda fuckin’ clown?”

 “Maybe,” Alastra grinned.

 Audience laughter emitted from the microphone.

 “I ain’t doin’ no fuckin’ charity job,” Shell protested.

 Alastra appeared next to her, startling the cat. “Well I figured you would be the perfect face to man the front desk of this fine establishment.”

 She pointed toward the bar stand with the staff. The sound of audience clapping came from the microphone.

 “With your charming smile and welcoming energy…”

 Alastra spread the corners of Shell’s mouth upward into a demonic smile of yellow teeth. Shell frowned seconds after she let go.

 “…this job was made for you!”

 Alastra strutted over toward the bar stand, the soles of her black heels revealing red hoof prints as she walked.

 “Don’t worry, my friend,” Alastra continued, “I can make this more welcoming…if you wish.”

 With a curve of her fingers, a green bottle of cheap booze appeared on the counter.

 Shell stared with wide eyes, suddenly very thirsty. She swore she could hear the sound of a slot machine.

 “What, you think you can buy me with a wink and some cheap booze?!” She took the bottle in anger. “Well you can!”

 She immediately guzzled it down and walked away.

 “Too easy,” thought Alastra.

 By this time, Charlie, Vaggus and Angela Dust had arrived to see what the commotion was about. Vaggus rushed toward the bar, furious.

 “Hey, hey, hey, hey!” yelled the moth demon. “No, no bar, no alcohol. This is supposed to be a place that discourages sin! Not some kind of…brothel, sinful, lady lounge …”

 Angela lunged herself into him, knocking him to the floor.

 “Shut up! Shut! Up! We are keeping this.” She pointed at Shell with multiple gloved fingers.

 She slid up to Shell. “Hey,” she said in a flirtatious voice.

 “Go fuck yourself,” Shell deadpanned, drinking her booze.

 “Only if you watch me,” Angela retorted, with a sway of her butt and hips.

 To make matters worse for Shell, Charlie leaned in close to her, excitement and red stars in his eyes.

 “Oh my gosh! Welcome to the Happy Hotel! You are going to love it here!”

 “I lost the ability to love years ago,” Shell replied, gulping down more booze.

 Alastra walked in, an ever-present grin on her face.

 “So, what do you think?”

 Charlie ran over to her. “This is amazing!” he beamed, rubbing his cheeks. Alastra blinked rapidly in appreciation.

 “It’s okay,” Vaggus grumbled from nearby, arms crossed.

 Alastra laughed and pulled the two boys close to her. “This is going to be very entertaining!” Her laughter was mixed with old radio sounds.

 Alastra conjured fire in her hand…Charlie stared in wonder at the flames and the voodoo symbols. She pushed Vaggus aside and changed her attire.

 Alastra now wore a fancy light red flapper dress, the lower part of her black leggings showing. She wore black heels on her feet. The skirt of her dress was dark magenta in color, the lower part near the helm was a brighter shade of pinkish red. The top part of her dress was also dark magenta, her gloves red. A round dark red ladies hat was on her head, the bow around it black. The bow was decorated with little claws around it. The top part of her hat had a line of visible stitches going across it, while a few pins stuck out from it.

 She waved a finger over Charlie’s head and his outfit changed. He now wore a black and pink suit, the bow tie under his neck dark red. He wore fancy black pants and shoes, the trails of his dark pink suit visible from behind him. A black top hat was perched on his blonde head, the rim decorated with small red apple designs. Charlie stared down in amazement at his new outfit.

 Alastra began to sing as she and Charlie began to dance.

 “You have a dream

You want us to know”

 Vaggus was fuming on the ground, the red x over his left eye burning red like his face.

 Alastra bent down next to him with a laugh and a shrug.

 “And it’s so ridiculous…”

 She stood back up and picked up Charlie. “But hey kid, give it a go!”

 She tossed the surprised prince into the air before he grinned.

 Both of them landed and danced with fast steps. The wall behind them was decorated with an image of Alastra’s large claws. Everything had turned into neon colors. Thanks to Alastra’s magic, voodoo symbols and deer antlers decorated the walls.

 “Cause you’re one of a kind

A charming demon beau!”

 Alastra took Charlie’s hand and the duo slid down a slide that used to be the stairs. They landed on the ground. Alastra snapped her fingers, and everyone’s outfits changed. Angela Dust stared in disgust at a bright pink dress she was now wearing. Vaggus stared down at his dark gray suit decorated with a bright pink tie in the center. Preppy stared in happiness at his dark blue suit and matching small top hat, decorated with a white daisy. Shell sat lazily at the bar counter.

 “So let’s give these burning fools a brand new show!” Alastra sang. She snapped her fingers, saying “Take it, girls!”

 Black shadow demons appeared from a cracked hole in the floor playing jazz instruments. One of them played a trumpet, another blew into a tuba. Charlie smiled as he moved to the music, next to another shadow demon playing the drums happily. Vaggus reached out to his boyfriend but was pulled away by Alastra and into the group.

 “Ha ha!” Alastra laughed as shadow demons appeared around them, appearing to be held together with stitches. Vaggus, Angela and Shell looked terrified, but Preppy was grinning, as if he had seen this before.

 Alastra appeared beside the bar table near Shell and Angela.

 “Inside of every demon is a lost cause,” she sang some more, pulling the two girls into a hug.

 Alastra plucked Shell’s eyebrow and rubbed Angela’s hat onto her head before leaving. Angela snapped her fingers with a grin and playful brows. A grumpy Shell flipped her the bird with a middle claw.

 “But we’ll dress ‘em up for now with just a smile!”

 “Just a smile!” the spirits repeated.

 Alastra appeared behind Vaggus, who stood with his arms crossed in the spotlight. Alastra waved her microphone and a fancy top hat with peacock feathers appeared on his head. A white fox scarf appeared around his neck. Then, without warning, Alastra slapped his butt.

 Vaggus jumped into the air before throwing off the scarf and hat. He turned around in fury at the Radio Demon. “Perverted witch!” he fumed as she walked away. She strolled and danced along the lobby floor, kicking a skull as she went. Preppy swept up the bone pieces in the background.

 “And we’ll chlorinate this cesspool with some old redemption flair

And show these simpletons some proper class and style!”

 “Class and style!” sang the shadows.

 Alastra walked over to the fireplace. A horde of shadow beings walked through the gap, including a shadow version of Alastra: Artsala. (Like Rotsala, Alastor’s shadow).

 The shadow grinned a blue grin at her, before Alastra vanished the shadow with a swing of her hand.

 “Here below the ground, I’m sure your plan is sound!”

 Alastra leaned in close to Charlie, their noses almost touching. After Alastra let herself be spun around, Alastra rubbed Charlie’s cheeks before taking his arm. Vaggus stood in the background with a look of jealousy and concern. Charlie and Alastra spun around in a circle, the moment magical for both of them.

 “Could this be love?” Charlie thought. Both of them had happy smiles on their faces as they spun around. Charlie could almost see the sparkles and bubbles in the background.

 “As we spend a little time…”

 Alastra let go and prepared to finish.

 “Down at this Hazbin ho…”

 A sudden explosion cut her off. The force caused the door to blow off and fly straight into little Preppy’s face, sending him flying back. “Ow! I’m okay!” he called from the distance.

 “Madam Zmeya Fucking Dies”

 Soon the colors were back to normal and so were everyone’s outfits. The group peered out from the hole, Alastra craning her neck. The group went out onto the path and spotted a flying blimp. Madam Zmeya poked her head out from an opening in the ship, fangs bared.

 “Ha!” the snake inventor laughed. “Well, well, well, look who it is harboring the striped freak!” she called, mentioning to the white spider demon. “We meet again, Alastra!”

 Alastra merely asked with a smug look, “Do I know you?”

 Madam Zmeya’s face fell before she grew angry. “Oh yes you do!” She slithered back into her seat. “And this time I have the element of…surprise!”

 She pulled a lever and a cannon lowered to the ground.

 “I’m so evil!” she declared with maniacal laughter as the cannon fired up.

 Alastra snapped her fingers, red tendrils of smoke rising from her hand. The weapon froze in mid fire and a fiery portal opened up below the blimp. Pink smoke filled the air.

 A horde of black tendrils rose from the hole, latching onto the ship. One tentacle ripped off the cannon and threw it into another smaller portal, causing it to explode in pink smoke. One of the tentacles had already smashed a hole in the large round window.

 Madam Zmeya looked on in shock as her Egg Grls slammed against the wall (one of them read #Ouch.) One of the eggs cracked open, spilling out yellowish brains and small organs among the stains of yok. Madam Zmeya and another minion were thrown against the wall.

 “Whoa, whoa, whoa!” she screamed before she was slammed against the ceiling by a black limb.

 “Ow, that hurt!” she cried.

 Madam Zmeya screamed as she was forcefully dragged along the floor and lifted up slightly. She was held in place, surrounded by the wrapped up tendril. At once, the tendril shrunk and squeezed the helpless snake. The Egg Grls ran around frantically, screaming as black cracks appeared on the floor and walls.

 From the outside, more black tendrils were closing in. Red voodoo symbols appeared around the blimp.

 “Ede m 'sèrviteur.”

 Four horned shadowy spirits with red auras floated around, wearing toothy grins.

 The tendrils were now wrapped around the entire blimp, holding it in place like thick black vines.

 Red radio waves filled Alastra’s eyes as she curled her fingers inward. The sky vanished, replaced with red. Hovering red voodoo symbols appeared all around her as she altered the state of reality. Radio static consumed the air.

 The vines thickened and completely enclosed the blimp. The spirits swooped around it in excitement, with echoing shrieks. The aura around the tendrils glowed a fiery yellow, the same color as the portal rim.

 “Kalfu! Destriksyon pa bra nwa.”

 Alastra closed her four-fingered hand which began to glow. A red drop of blood fell from her glowing hand. The tendrils proceeded to crush the blimp. Pink rays of light shot from the center and the blimp exploded in a loud BOOM!

 Pink smoke spread everywhere as the spirits sped away. The tendrils broke into severed bloody pieces that rained down to the ground. Alastra smiled victoriously, while behind them, the group of five stared in utter terror and shock. (Save for Preppy who had a small smile on his face).

 “Well, I’m starved!” Alastra exclaimed, turning around to face the group. Who wants some jambalaya?” She spread her arms out. “My mother once showed me a wonderful recipe for jambalaya! In fact, it nearly killed her! My father almost had a heart attack from eating it, but maybe that’s because he loved it so much!”

 Alastra laughed as she led the way back to the hotel. The others followed.

“You could say the kick was straight out of Hell!” she added while laughing at her own joke. “Oh, I’m on a roll!”

 Charlie and Preppy smiled while Shell, Angela, and Vaggus looked on with concern. Preppy scurried around Alastra with a look of admiration. Angela blew Shell a kiss, which earned the druggie demon a glare from the gambler. Charlie turned to Vaggus excitedly. Vaggus reluctantly went along with Charlie’s idea, even giving him a small supporting smile. As long as Charlie was happy, then Vaggus was alright, too.

 From up above, the hotel looked like a mashed-up haunted house. An old dark train was perched on a balcony, with some monstrous faces carved in. A ship, reminiscent of the Titanic, was leaning upwards against the building as part of the structure. An old carousel served as part of the upper balcony and windows. Skull designs decorated the small windows in a row. Finally, on top of a giant yellow eye, was the sign “Happy Hotel” supported by pillars of worn wood.  

 Alastra continued, “Yes, mam’, this is the start of some real changes down here! The game is set! Now…”

 She glanced up and pointed her finger toward the sign. Pink electricity shot out and made contact with the sign.

 The sign now read “Hazbin Hotel.”

 “Stay tuned,” she finished with a low sinister laugh.

 Back at the crater, smoke took the faces of demons and rose into the air. Broken egg minions littered the ground. One minion rubbed her head. With a shaking arm, Madam Zmeya lifted herself up from the gaping hole, fangs shattered, eye swollen.

 “Now will you shoot me with your ray gun?” asked the minion.

 Madam Zmeya face-planted on the ground in response.

#hazbinhotel #rule63 #genderreverse

[nooh120601]

ID:120601

Date: May 31, 2020

Words:1500

Assignment 2

Introduction:

Media has been changed over the hundred years ago, from small things to large and modern tools. Which make a niche for several issues, using in wrong way and use it for war. So, it's difficult to know the media like that, a while we'd like to ask hard and difficult question to possess a critical understanding for the media, for love or money that connect with media, in political, culture, it represents the channel that represents culture and therefore the expression of identity. Additionally, it create many of issues like disinformation, labelling and therefore the other.

Develop the media

Media plays a crucial role in transforming societies from traditional to modern. . There are essential question about the democratic nature of the media and therefore the media saturated with commercial interests. However, at the past, they used old media for other reasons like war. It utilized in war 1 and a couple of , there was a communication system like a telegraph, which British army wont to communicate with their commanders. within the other side, war 2, the communication were developed lots. The countries within the war used radiotherapy. therein war use sorts of propaganda like in radio, posters, magazines and news.

In lately new media and platforms has changed the. These tools are faster and more personal and large than all tools of old media, have a quick ability to send, combine and distribute all contents via any medium. In fact, technology plays the role of a huge oasis with lately , which is described as communication and knowledge age. Social Media has broken the perception of dominant social, cultural and political structures.

Social networking:

Social networking may be a group of individuals can contact between other for a selected reason. One examples to tend as a social network is anyone’s circle of friends. during this world, there are similar characteristics and patterns of behavior, which are an important a part of every person behavior on Twitter, Facebook or Snapshot.

Now, with coronavirus the most important and more important trend is: technology, then social media, followed by video call. additionally , plan online education in many colleges.

Social media has been forced to require a more active stance against disinformation during the COVID-19. From survival kits, social media round the world is responding to it. Like Facebook is providing location tracking data to health authorities to assist them combat COVID-19 providing individual connectivity maps indicating whether people are staying home.

Therefore, social media are often a source of essential data for mapping the spread of the disease and managing it. Geographic information systems that repose on data from social media and other sources have already become key to mapping the worldwide spread of COVID-19.

By developed the new media and be most vital things that announced many information and news from the most place, it becomes thing to deliver the messages, named Comics.

Visual narratives, like comics and animations, are getting increasingly popular as a tool for science education and communication, it makes scientific subjects more accessible and interesting for a wider audience. within the past, decades comics have emerged as an increasingly popular sort of communication, ready to engage readers of various age groups and cultural backgrounds.

It is important first to understand the novel or information, but the standard that separates the storyboards from the articles is that they depend mainly on a particular arrangement of images to point out the story. additionally , it's going to be necessary for young readers to be the story with fictional characters and situations to present and simplify information, however but might be viewed as childish by adults. the instance of comics is a few character about Corona virus shows that the chopper, it's like saying COVED-19 came from eating sorts of animals, that we've not ate it. That Virus comes from those animals, in order that they say Coronavirus is formed by the humans themselves. It also show like snake within the character, because its like killer machine, dangers and may kill people easily.

Therefore, Comics are influential for several reasons:

1- Comics are attractive. they're strongly magnetic and visually appealing.

2- Comics make it simpler, by entering humor.

3- Comics push authors to write down more stories, making the audience react faster.

After all that development for media, it start change in our days, its became an activity and awareness especially the new one, with new technology and equipment can improve it. Social media makes the communication easier between people nowadays. But it change this thing, it become like freedom when write or post, and it increase the misunderstanding, hate speech and disinformation altogether of old media and new of it. Nowadays, people in media attempt to effect and write fake information about many things which will believe it who are didn't know the reality and search about it.

Labelling:

Labelling theory is an analyze how social groups create and apply definitions for deviant behavior. The closer examines how its developed the facility to impose labels onto selected others. It helps to elucidate why a behavior is taken into account negatively deviant to some people, groups, and cultures but positively deviant to others. for instance , fictional vigilantes, like Robin Hood and Batman. many years ago, people yearned for stories a few hero, a person who could save them from the retched body waste that littered the streets. Therefore, Robin Hood became a legend to the commoner , a beacon of hope and how to flee their dire existence through adventurous stories of a hero.

Moral panic is defined as a situation wherein. A condition, episode, person or group of persons emerges to become defined as a threat to societal values and interests, its nature is presented during a stylized and stereotypical fashion by the mass media, the moral barricades are manned by editors, politicians and other right-thinking people.

Stereotypical phrases related to these youth cultures thugs, hooligans, menaces repeatedly are highlighted in bold news headlines to strengthen pre-existing perceptions and beliefs held by "normal folk"

And the most examples is that the western media describe the Muslim as terrorists and he's tough in religious but when the American or people from different religious do the same and killing the Muslims they don’t dais that, they show on TV something different. Therefore, they create labels in media, old and new media.

Moreover, by developed the media, it comes the definition of disinformation. The most goal of it is the concepts of an establishment or state, distorting the viewer's ideas, influencing the mind and controlling emotions to form them with the active institution, and therefore the strongest sorts of it are brainwashing in critical issues that no country or institution can erase from the record. It comes with Hitler story in war 2, how Hitler persuaded the Nazi German people to make an unparalleled army to wage wars that participated in war. Convincing wasn't that easy, brainwashing and deception were wont to hide the reality of what Hitler had and his ambition to invade and attack countries. Now, they use it secretly by many countries, media institutions, politicians and influential people within the country.

Create hate speech gives space to governments to regulate of everything, In fact, some people want to destroy system of governments or country, and do what they need , therefore the government used it to prevent them. Also hate speech is sweet for a few crises like what's happening within the world, Corona Virus, to form the country safe most use it. And social media gives the free speech, which are often more dangers to write down anything.

Media and shown narcissism/ human kind:

Narcissism means selfishness, and it is a mental disturbance that's characterized by arrogance, transcendence, also it is a way of importance and an attempt to understand even at the expense of others. The narcissist sees that he's more beautiful and people less beautiful than him. It cares tons about his appearance and therefore the refore the way he look and he's choice his clothes carefully and cares about how he looks within the eyes of others and the thanks to convince them. Media has change some people, by being famous, so his or her are going to be selfish.

In addition, Social Media show the woman as a commodity and she or he isn't as we see her within the life, where the weakness is that she is unable to work and continue without an individual , unlike an individual who always appears with a strong and controlling personality which he's sexually aggressive and hard tough which you've plenty of superpower and capabilities.

Conclusion:

Media (old and new) year-by-year change, most changes is currently be more effect for people that doesn't know truth . Also, media gives us easier life, information and the way easy to attach with one another , in most situation, media start to send many news from the most place to receive the knowledge fast.

#Mass2620_20 #SQURT

[marcoacesabo]

Give us angst (with a happy ending pls) munchy! Marco breaking up with his boyfriends cause of people thinks he's too old for supermodels that hot?

“I think we should put an end to this yoi”  He tries to say it as casually as he can but Marco can hear his own voice breaking and he winces. Sabo and Ace look up from dinner, forks of spaghetti suspended in the air for only a brief second then stuff into mouths.

Sabo talks around the noddles.  “End what, Love?”

Marco flitches at the nickname. Ace obviously saw the movement because he swallows his food while putting down his fork.  “Marco?”

He can do this. It’s time to stop living in the fantasy world and face reality. It won’t surprise anyone when the relationship ends, at least not when he was out of the picture and the two men realize they were too good for him.

What did Marco have to offer them anyway? He was a lowly elementary school teacher while they were taking over the fashion world by storm. Both at the top of their respective contracts, Ace with the Whitebeard Brand and Sabo with the Revolutionary Army Brand, they were appearing all over the place.

Marco had at first felt overwhelming pride when he saw posters of them in clothes stores, but soon it became obvious that he had no place among them. Ace and Sabo were stars while Marco was nothing but a mucky lake trying to reflect their brilliance. 

If Marco’s mind wasn’t constantly reminding him as such, those around them certainly did. 

“Us.” He says “We need to end”

Sabo stops drinking his water, his already wide eyes turning even wider than before. “What?” 

“We don’t work well.”  Marco continues looking them in the face. It’s only fair. He is going to be the one to rip off the bandage so he needs to face their pain head-on.  “We had our fun but it’s time we get realistic. Our relationship was never going to work. It was fun while it lasted.”

There is a deafening silence. It’s almost like the room itself is holding it’s breath while the two try to make sense of his words

Just as he expected it’s Sabo who’s explodes first.  “What are you talking about? This isn’t funny.”

“I’m not joking yoi”

“So what? That’s it. Just “hey guys I’m ending our two-year relationship in the middle of dinner. Please pass the salt?” 

“I don’t need the salt-”

“Did I do something worng?” Ace’s small voice cuts the tension. Marco whips his head to the raven-haired man and feels his stomech drop at the utterly crush expression he finds on his face.  “D-did I cause this?”

Usually, Marco is quick to reassure Ace but tonight he can’t even find it in himself to say anything. Ace is shaking in a way that he knows is his attempt to not cry but his eyes are getting watery.  

“Yes, but not the way you think,” He says instead. “You were just born too late.”

“Too late?”

Marco sighs rubbing a hand through his hair. It’s going to be hard to explain but it was the only option that made sense.  “I’m too old for either of you. I’m just wasting your time. Everyone knows it.”

“Who said that to you?” Sabo jumps in. His pretty face is edged into a frown  “I don’t care what anyone says about us, and neither should you.”

“But I do yoi”

Ace’s face twists  “You love us. It doesn’t matter what they say. Even if you think it’s true.”  Gently he reaches out taking, placing his hand on top of Marco’s. His eyes are pleading but he still says firmly “You said you love us. That’s enough”

Marco really hates what’s about to do. But it’s for the best. They may not see it now but later they will.  “I never actually said I love you. I just agree when you said it.”

Ace recoils like he’s been struck. He may as well have been. That is one of his greatest fears shared in confidence but now was being weaponized by the very person he trusted the most.  

Ace feared being unloved and would do anything to be told he was. He had fallen victim to people who had abused that weakness before, but he never thought Marco would be one of the people. This would break any trust Ace ever had in him.

It’s what he wanted. So why did it hurt so badly? He was leaving them before they had a chance to do leave him. It was logical. 

 “B-but you said...” Ace’s voice breaks. He is trying to sound angry but he falls flat. He just sounds empty.  “You..what? What are we to you then?”

“A game” It feels like he’s chocking down poison but Marco pushes through   “ One I’ve gotten bored of. Everyone is right, it’s time to stop playing yoi”

Sabo, however, is angry enough for them both. “Get out.”

Marco stands without a fight. He grabs his coat from the rack, giving the apartment one last look. All around him, there is evidence of Ace and Sabo. Little things that the two compile over the years.

Sabo glass art collection sprinkled all around the place while Ace’s love of animal patterns takes up whatever is left.  The difference in their aesthetics blending together so easily it’s a wonder why he ever thought he could be part of this world.

He leaves pretending he can’t hear Ace crying in the dining room or Sabo’s low voice trying to ease the pain.  He walks into the night wishing that things could have been different in another life.

Marco has to live with the fact they were the best thing to ever happen to him. And he let them go. Worse, they never called him back, even though he took his time leaving.

More evidence that it was only going to end someday. It’s best to be the one to end it now then have them be the ones later. That way he wouldn’t be as broken when they left him.

Both are bright, young brilliant stars. Marco is a decaying old man that will only drag them down from the sky if they stay. 

It’s for the best.

He keeps telling himself this for the next few months. The first weeks were hell and he found himself staring at the bottom of a bottle more times then he can remember in that time. 

Work would be have been a problem with his hangovers but it’s summer break. He’s got a few months were can wake with the pounding ache of his head and the crippling pain of being without his stars.

But the cold reality is that he ended it. Ace and Sabo were out of his life. There was nothing he could ever do to fix that. 

So Marco continues to go to bars. Continues to drown his pain away. It’s no wonder his family start to worry, he would had it been any of his brothers. 

“The family already been through this dance, they don’t want to relive it.” Thatch says sitting down next to him at the bar. He pulls the bottle out his hand, forcing Marco to look at him. “Didn’t you learn anything from then?”

He’s here to help. But the thing is Marco doesn’t want any help. He just wants to be drunk.

“Shut up Thatch. You don’t know anything.”  

“I don’t?” Thatch asks placing the bottle on the table.  “You’re right I don’t. What would I know about becoming addicted? What would I possibly understand about trying to use this stuff to forget my life? It’s not like I almost died.”

There is a small clack as Thatch places his eight-year sober badge on the countertop in a very pointed way. It sort of pisses Marco off.  

“I don’t have a problem like you did yoi.” 

There is a weary sigh  “I want to help you. But you need to want to help yourself.”

He refuses to answer hand closing around the bottle, but it’s swapped away by an annoying sibling.  “I talked to Ace recently. He told me you broke it off with them. Over something stupid.”

“It’s not stupid!” He shouts but he can’t help it. He is mad, hurting like he’s never had and he misses them so much. “I was dragging them down. They would have lost their jobs if the media ever found out! I’m too old and-”

“Ace said you never told him you love him. That’s the biggest bullshit I ever heard and I was in rehab with a bunch of drug addicts that claim they didn’t need to be there.” Thatch cuts in. His tone is flat, and any other time Marco would have steered the conversation away but he can’t. He’s not drunk yet and he wants to be. 

“Not all of us were stupid enough to get addicted to drugs!” Marco hisses. 

Thatch stays quiet for a second before he laughs a bitter empty thing  “I never said it was smart. I said the drugs help me forget the pain. Just like the alcohol did. But it also made me forget the good things.”

A warm hand is placed on his shoulder, clamping down on Marco’s shaking muscles, stopping him from the fight he desperately wants.  “Marco I didn’t go to Ace. He came to us. He wants you back.”

That throws all the air out of his sails.  “What? Why? After what I did...”

“He must think you're worth it.”  

Marco laughs then, and it’s not until Thatch pulls him into a hug he realizes he’s crying. 

The next morning Thatch stays to make him dump out all his drinks. Hands him an AA card with that kind gentle smile he's learned to give after rehab and Marco can almost say the hangover isn’t so terrible.

He gets up to shower, washing away the night before. He needs to call Ace and Sabo. If Ace is looking for him, maybe....

Getting out of the shower he wraps a rob around himself not wanting to let his mind wander. There is no maybe anything. He ended it because of his stupid insecurities, now he had to live with that.

He’s accepted this.

So imagine his surprise when he finds Sabo sitting in his living room, holding Ace’s hand. They both stand when he walks in, causing Marco to freeze unsure of what to do.

Luckily Sabo speaks first.  “You’re going to take us back.” 

“I-I am?”

“Yes. After we talk about these last few months and about why you ended it. Then you are going to take us back.”  For all his bravo, there are tears in his eyes “Because you love us and are prone to anxiety. So tell us why you let them convince you, we wouldn't love you for your age.”

Marco can’t say anything. He’s too busy sobbing. Like a dam, all of his emotions burst, washing over him. Ace’s arms circle around him a split second before Sabo. 

It takes them a while. Nearly three hours to get themselves sorted out, talking openly about all of their insecurities and pain. New boundaries are created, more examples of how they can help and admit they need help. 

Marco is going to AA meetings, Ace has agreed to get a therapist to help him with his self-worth ‘issues and Sabo is once again going with Koala to the support group for abused kids. It’s not perfect, but it’s what they need.  Of course, Marco has to make it up to them but they too admit to noticing him getting worried and choosing to not confront it. 

  But later they walk into the kitchen with red eyes, sniffing noses, and smiles. 

Thatch looks at their clasps hands- Marco holding them in each hand-  before he waves at the table  “Well it took you, idiots, long enough.”

#MarcoAceSabo #Angst #Hurt/comfort #Mentions of drug abuse #Mentions of alcohol abuse #Break ups #Anxiety gettng in the way #Things are better afterwards #Anonymous