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a-court-of-moonlight-and-ire · 2 months

Text

Some of you have probably noticed that I havent made a liveblog post in a while. Well, thats because I usually read on the bus and during my classes and then I come home and summarize my thoughts on the 2-5 chapters I read after theyve marinated in my head for a little while, but unfortunately i appear to be incapacited at the moment so I cant do that. But because its been weeks and I dont wanna forget anything and I would very much like to finish this series soon, I'll try to read at home sometimes from now on. Since my brain is still a lil mush Im gonna do what I did for my last post, which is write down what Im thinking as Im reading instead of summarizing all my thoughts retroactively, except this time I have my german copy on hand so if I want to quote something it'll be a translation

Anyway, with all that said, welcome to my twisted mind, please enjoy my thoughts on A Court of Mist and Fury Chapters 40

Chapter 40

Ive been wanting to say this for a while now but i kept forgetting, but they translated 'winnowing' as 'den Wind spalten' ['splitting the wind'] and that is objectively so much cooler, shoutout to my gal Alexandra Ernst for that

Feyre being like "ugh, its so pathetic how these human guards think they could stand a chance against even one of us" hurts me so much you guys what have they done to my girl

Once again, its apparently perfectly fine if Rhysand doesnt tell Feyre anything "because she never asked" but if Tamlin doesnt tell her anything when she never asked hes the devil

Also once again, Feyre is perfectly not-triggered at Mor wearing a scarlet dress

Idk how to explain this, but Rhysand saying that Feyre is wearing a golden crown because "she looks so good with it, how could he not give her one" is somehow the perfect encapsulation of the hollowness of her High Lady title

Oh, of course three of the queens only showed up to watch the other two talk, itd be too hard to write dialogue if they actually participated in this important conversation

hello???? Feyre referring to humans as "your kind" ??? wth is going on

"every side bears some blame" hey rhysand ive got a question for ya. which side enslaved the other again

everytime the oldest queen does anything the prose feels the need to remind me of how old and wrinkly she is and its like, i get it, shes OLD

The oldest queen is spitting so hard rn, Im not even gonna question how they heard of the night court when Feyre, who lived closest to Prythian for many years, didnt know anything aout the individual courts prior to getting there herself, Im just gonna put her whole little monologue here: "Oh? [...] The High Lord of the Night Court asks that we join him so that we can save lives together? Fight for peace? And what about the lives that you have taken during your long, despicable existance? What about the High Lord who shrouds himself in darkness and destroys the mind of those who stand in his way? [...] We have heard of you on the continent, Rhysand. We have heard of what the Court of Night is capable of, what you do to your enemies. Peace? I wouldn't have thought that you - a man who enslaves the minds of others and kills them out of pure enjoyment - even know that word."

Anyway, she was spitting absolute bars and Feyre gets super mad about it and almost commits arson but manages to reign herself in and its like girlie, why are you so upset? one of the first things we find out about the night court in this book is that they apparently indiscriminately kill (or atleast torture) anyone who crosses the night court border without permission like theyre the fucking us government, i think the bad reputation is justified

Forgive me if I sound callous, but I have absolutely no sympathy for Rhysand flinching at the mention of Amarantha when Feyre didnt even use her name and is also talking about how she fucking DIED AT HER HANDS

God, I feel like I have something to say about every single line this post is gonna be like 10 thousand words long by the time Im done

So lets take it from the top; Feyre tries to convince the mortal queens to give them the half of the book by recounting to them how much everyone suffered under Amarantha and how she was gruesomely beaten to death and then revived, which is not a compelling argument to me, who actually witnessed all of that, much less these queens who have barely any context for anything shes saying right now

The oldest queen is like "you dont know anything about anything" which is true what the fuck does Feyre know about whats going on in the human world or even the fae world at large, and then Rhysand growls "dont you dare talk down to her!!" because shes passionate and speaking from the heart or whatever and its like, okay, shes still not good at politicking or even just basic negatioation and shes talking to a seasoned politician who old as fuck

Like, if Feyre was actually smart, she wouldve long since realized that she couldnt convince these queens to protect this little slip of land right up to prythians border and been like "okay, you dont wanna protect the land, but can you atleast organize an evacuation so you can atleast save the people" Sure, they definitely still wouldnt have agreed to that because its a sjm book and theyre written to be comically evil, but it would atleast demonstrate Feyre being a little savvy, because right now all we're getting is her being stupid and stubborn in a situation where she really cant afford that

god, im just now noticing how pissed off I am, its been bleeding into my commentary and its not gonna stop, Im sorry. wait no, if youre reading this youre probably looking for negativity, so youre welcome, actually

Anyway, Rhys also says that Feyre is a kindhearted soul looking out for people who cant defend themselves even though she definitely thought that those human guards were pathetic for wanting to defend themselves when she and the other fae were soooooo much more powerful and he definitely knows that because the mental bond is fully open during this meeting and he chastises the queens for being selfish and cowardly when its like, my brother in christ you are doing the exact same bullshit, but atleast the queens are defending a wholeass continent while hes defending one (1) city. and iirc that city ends up getting attacked and destroyed anyway so good job my guy

Theres something so oddly biblical about the story Mor is telling about Miriam, down to her name being Miriam

That island thats removed from time is such bullshit istg

Is it just me or have these bozos not actually explained what they even need the other half of the book for. theyre just like "we need to stop this war and we'd like peace between humans and fae" and its like cool, hows the book gonna help with that though

im sorry, feyre wants to punch that old woman in the face????

the chapter ends with Elain being like "I hope they burn in hell" and i get that, they just straight up said that they want to abandon a whole bunch of people (them included) to die if a war breaks out, but you cant say that the night court girlies are not also at fault for being so fucking bad at politics

#anti acotar #anti acomaf #anti rhysand #anti feyre #flames and darkness liveblog

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lostmyremembrall · 1 year

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congratulations on 1K! you definitely deserve it! I absolutely adore your characterization for tom, and am always so excited whenever you post!

I would love to join the event if it's still going on! could i request the diadem (👑)? my name’s jennifer, im a slytherin, and i grew up with tom at wools orphanage. im physically affectionate, love to read and explore, and i like to joke around, lightly flirt with, and tease people. i normally keep most people at arms length though, so its rare for me to become close to anyone. when i truly care for someone though, i love to spoil them and spend time with them. i normally seem unapproachable, but im actually pretty friendly. im sure that after enough time has passed, id have fallen for tom, but i don't think he'd be interested, so im sure id bottle it up inside of me.

sorry if thats too detailed! i got carried away thinking about it! would it be possible to do tom riddle era (1930's - 1940's)?

once again, thank you for the fun event, and i hope you enjoy writing for our lord and savior tom riddle as much as we all enjoy reading your stories! 💚

👑𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐇𝐨𝐠𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐬 𝐘𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬

𝓙𝓮𝓷𝓷𝓲𝓯𝓮𝓻

A/N: Thank you so much for your request! As I was writing this, I kept thinking how perfect of a pair you and Tom would make! But alas, you've asked for a diadem so I'll stick to your storyline of unrequited love.

I am sorry this took so long, and I appreciate your patience! I'm also sorry that this got rly long. I feel like it ended up being more like a fanfic rather than an HC. If you're not happy with it, or feel like this character isn't really you (especially the decision you make to forgive Tom at the end), feel free to DM and I'll redo it!

𝐶𝑜𝑚𝑒 𝐽𝑜𝑖𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒 1𝐾 𝐸𝑣𝑒𝑛𝑡! Now closed

𝐎𝐫𝐩𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐠𝐞 𝐘𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬

You were born the same year as Tom. With Tom's birthday being the last day of the year, you are always older than him, a fact Tom's not particularly fond of.

It took a long time for Tom to come around, but he had plenty of time to observe you and understand you as a person before approaching you for an alliance.

Needless to say, surviving an orphanage in the 1920s brought you and Tom close.

You two had to stick together in these hard times if it meant surviving your childhood. The malnutrition. Cholera. Tuberculosis. The flu. There were plenty of opportunities for either of you to die.

When the two of you were being scolded by Mrs. Cole, you two would hold hands together in solidarity.

Even with your eyes turned to the floor, you knew Tom was next to you, going through the same thing. And that was comfort enough for the two of you.

That meant if either had a chance to steal some food from the local vendors, you were sharing it.

One time, Tom managed to steal a candy bar called 'Milky Way' from America.

As malnourished children, the two of you ate that up in minutes.

It's one of your fond memories, hiding in the alleyway after school as the two lick your fingers clean.

Tom knew you were loyal, a trait he most appreciated about you. He knew that whatever he did to other orphans, you weren't going to rat on the Matron.

Tom displayed his magic first, and of course, he showed it to you and you only.

When you displayed your magic, he was disappointed at first, that he wasn't the special one.

But, as soon as he realised that his magic was superior to yours (and everyone's, the nerve of him), he grew to appreciate that he can share this with his closest friend.

It felt like winning the lottery when you both got the visit from Dumbledore.

The world was your oyster, free to explore and take to your content with Tom.

Visiting Diagon Alley together, and shopping for Hogwarts as you two experienced everything new, is also one of your cherished memories.

A sense of solidarity brought you two even closer, to challenge and learn about the new world together. You two were literally inseparable.

A lot of your time is spent with Tom, exploring the wizarding world, whether through books or in real life.

After spending your first night in the Slytherin dorm, you and Tom met up to discuss. You both agreed that, in order to survive this pureblood frenzied house, it would be wise not to disclose about the muggle orphanage you two grew up in.

𝐀𝐜𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐜𝐬

You are an excellent student, always learning and reading.

Professors do notice your teasing remarks in class when someone embarrasses themselves. But, some professors enjoy your comments and are more lenient than others as long as it's not too disruptive.

You're quite good at Care for Magical Creatures.

After having to take care of some creatures during class, some of these beasts really grew on you.

You spoil them by stealing some food from the kitchen or the Great Hall, giving them a taste of "real food" as you say.

In the later years, when you and Tom stopped sneaking into the kitchen, this comforted you and replicated the endearing memories of sharing food with Tom.

Being the high-achieving Slytherin that you are with the actual ability and interest in classes, you easily make it to prefect.

Dumbledore is somewhat cautious of you, suspecting that you might be enabling Tom.

𝐑𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬

You may be intimidating at first, but you end up being quite popular as people figure out that you're friendly and kind, unlike some of the Slytherins.

Your jokes and teases are funny, and everyone knows it's always a fun time when you're involved.

Others may think they know you quite well.

But, you know that they don't know the real you. You wouldn't call them your close friends.

Really, the only person that would fit that category is Tom, who's practically known you for your entire life.

With your fun, flirty nature and teases, some people turn bright red, not used to the direct advances. And they love that. They love your attention and tease.

Needless to say, you get quite a few letters from secret admirers.

(𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝) 𝐑𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐓𝐨𝐦

The first few years felt just like before with Tom, just in a different environment.

Sneaking out of the dorm at night to explore the castle.

Stealing some late-night dessert from the kitchen to eat on top of the Astronomy Tower, enjoying the sugar that is definitely a luxury back home.

Sneaking into the Forbidden Forest. Exploring Hogsmeade.

Only Tom got your special attention. You would spoil him with your time and love and gifts.

Tom was the same. He truly cared for you and you only, and he expressed his appreciation for you in a similar way.

Before you go to sleep, you'd find a small box, hidden underneath your pillow.

However Tom got into the girl's dorm will remain a mystery.

Sometimes, they're notes detailing the earnest feelings he couldn't confide to anyone else. His anxiety. His fears. His joy.

Oftentimes, they're expensive jewellery, maybe purchased, maybe stolen.

"The prettiest jewellery for the prettiest girl I know"

The note would say in a childish attempt at being suave.

But, starting 4th year, things began to feel different. He's grown tall. His intellectual eyes always looking straight ahead. His sharp cheekbones and jawlines signalling his approaching adulthood.

You began to feel a flutter in your heart every time he caught your eyes in class.

At the same time, you noticed a change in Tom as well. You couldn't quite place it, but it felt like he was growing out of your reach.

Like you weren't just two kids that goof around anymore.

Some would say that's only natural as children begin to recognise the changes and differences between the genders. But, you felt like there was something more than just that.

He would spend hours in the library, researching something.

It no longer seemed like having fun exploring with you was the priority for Tom, as he focused on his studies and his achievements.

His talents were unheard of, and you felt the bitterness that he was going to places you cannot follow.

He would still hang out with you, though it was no longer just you he hung out with. Abraxas Malfoy, Lestrange, Avery, and a few other Slytherins began taking up Tom's time.

It seemed like they were meeting late at night without you. When you inquired Tom about it, he merely chuckled,

He'd lift your chin up with his fingers with a smirk

"Wouldn't want to join some vulgar conversation of teenage boys, do you?"

You'd freeze under his teasing gaze. Who wouldn't?

Taking your silence as a cue for agreement, Tom would run his thumb over your cheeks.

"Now, smile - for me."

Countless times you've thought about telling him, writing to him about how you felt about him.

But, you'd see his large shoulders, hunched over the table as he focused on assignments or creating new spells

And every time, you'd end up swallowing the words, knowing Tom had his mind set on things greater than romance.

It's in the late 5th year when you begin to worry about Tom's mental health.

One night, he comes bursting into your room. Agitated, he is pacing back and forth in front of you.

He knows your loyalty, so he knew he could only come to you to open up about the murder he's just committed.

It finally dawns on you what had been distancing you from Tom this whole time.

It was his hidden obsession with his family line, the Dark Arts, his rage and vengeance: all of the things Tom had kept from you this whole time.

You place a comforting hand on his trembling cheeks as he looks up to you with teary eyes, almost pleading silently, as if begging for your forgiveness. Your acceptance.

As you look into his eyes, his face line still retaining a bit of that youthful innocence, you'd wonder 'where it all went wrong.'

Where did your Tom go? That endearing boy who would steal candy bars for you. That kind, protective boy who would gift you jewellery, calling you his 'one and only.'

You seriously pondered, whether you recognised the Tom in front of you. Whether you were ready to forgive him.

But still, you couldn't get the image of his kind smile out of your mind. The way he used to smile before it all went to shit.

His soft lips curved in a similar way, still. His eyes still shimmered innocently, still.

In the end, you made him promise not to delve into Dark Arts again. It ends here.

And that he'll come to you whenever his rage and vengeance overtook him.

Tom flashed the most beautiful smile up at you. A tear pouring out in relief.

He took your hands and hastily pressed his lips to it, causing you to feel a clenching pang in your heart.

"I promise, Jennifer," he said with a smile. "I won't let you down."

We all know that Tom wouldn't keep his promise.

#i'm not crying you are #1k celebration #1k event #1k milestone #1k followers #1K follower event #harry potter #1k follower celebration #tom riddle #tom riddle jr #tom marvolo riddle #tom riddle fanfiction #tmr #tom riddle fanfic #harry potter fanfiction #tom riddle fic #tom riddle x you #tom riddle x reader

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ethanhuntfemmefatale · 9 months

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I feel like you’re the only other person in the world who is as intrigued by the ethan/claire/jim dynamic as I am. It drives me crazy! I love that ethan, who is portrayed as a pretty flawless guy (he just cares TOO much) in the later movies gets this like crazy quirk of being in love with his father figure/boss’s wife and I love that you’re not always sure how much is manipulation and how much is genuine every time they interact. Severely underrated. Anyway loved the fic!

anon i am so so glad that you loved the fic and i am so glad to hear from another person fascinated by the ethan/claire/jim fuckery. (incidentally being a fellow ethan/claire/jim interested individual entitles you automatically to friend status should you so desire)

your ask touches on some things and it's giving me the urge to rant so please forgive me cause im probably about to get very off topic. I just love your point about the way that ethan (who is so steadfastly heroic in later movies!) starts out with this massive, like, to lean into the MI1 religious imagery, sin. And that sin isn't resolved in any satisfactory way--both of the people involved die, and no one is left alive who even knows what really happened, and this makes me feel rabid to think about. (Luther saw the cheek kiss, but has no context for it, and I feel strongly that Ethan has never told him anything else about that. I really think Ethan never breathes a word to anyone about Jim, Claire or Max. Kittridge is probably the closest to being able to infer some of the details, he knows Ethan loved Jim, he knows about Max's "entrapment," but he's too much of a self-absorbed bureaucrat to give a shit.)

But back to the point about the sin. For my money, Ethan's sin is the heart of MI1. The movie tells us that Ethan's sin is being in love with Claire--but in a queer reading of the movie, it's easy to read into Ethan's interactions with Claire and Jim and infer that his real sin is being in love with both of them, a sin that Jim will never openly acknowledge, but that all three of them are aware of to some degree. Ethan's sin is also portrayed as being...not actually his fault. He doesn't participate in any of Claire's "seduction moments," although from his expression after the cheek kiss IMO you can see that he has strong feelings about them. Ethan's sin is something that is done to him, and regardless of whether or not he wants it, regardless of whether initiates or even participates, he is corrupted by the experience. He's only (to some degree) cleansed by the death of claire, jim and krieger, the only people who knew about what happened.

(one of the reasons I drew from gawain and the green knight in the end of the fic is because--beyond the parallels of jim as the lord going hunting in the woods, claire as the lady going hunting for gawain, ethan as the knight just trying to make it out alive--that's a story that deals heavily in impossible moral tests and loss of agency. And Gawain emerges from it 'fey-touched', fundamentally changed despite the fact that most of what happened to him was unwanted and unavoidable. That's how i feel about ethan at the end of MI1)

It's important to note briefly that I actually don't think of the Claire/Jim/Ethan thing as his only sin in the movie. It's the only one that's remarked on directly, but the whole thing with Max feels like it's presented too similarly to ignore. It's another situation of power differences and emotional and sexual manipulation where Ethan is put in an impossible position and emerges morally corrupted (by the rules of the movie), but victorious.

In a lot of ways, I feel like the sin itself almost serves less as an indictment of Ethan and more as a worldbuilding device. MI1 establishes the world of the IMF really vividly without showing us hardly anything about it! we don't even know what the IMF is really, it doesn't have a headquarters, we don't get to know any other teams outside of the one that dies in the beginning, but the movie renders the world of the IMF through Ethan's relationship with Claire and Jim. I've talked before about the "sea of lies." The thing that made me love MI1 so much in the first place was the specific feeling that is so beautifully evoked, of gradually realizing that everyone you have ever loved wants to use you. That's the IMF! That's spywork, baby! Ethan doesn't realize it in the beginning, but he sure figures it out by the end. it's impossible for ethan to make it out of MI1 without becoming part of the corrupt world of the IMF, the real IMF that Claire and Jim and Kittridge are in, not the fantasy of the team in the opening. (to go back to the green knight metaphor--he has to take the sash in order to live--and even though that means compromising his morals, he's blameless. Corrupt, forever, but blameless.)

despite that--ethan is not the IMF. He believes in Claire. He believes in Luther. He avoids killing. he has an honor code that he sticks to even as he gets deeper and deeper into the sea of lies. that's what makes him the guy we see in the rest of the franchise, that at arguably his most vulnerable point, his most corrupt point, he believed in the people he loved and tried not to hurt anyone. The point of the sin, to me, is that Ethan is forced into the deep end of the murkiest grey moral waters and held underneath, and in the process he sacrifices moral purity for moral integrity and makes it out alive. and the movie doesn't hate him for it. He's a hero.

lots of thoughts for this ask lmfao thank you very much anon for indulging me. and thank you for reading the fic. i am so glad you liked it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#mission impossible #long post #mission impossible 1 #claire phelps #jim phelps #ethan hunt #max mitsopolis #jim phelps evil polycule

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4lix · 4 years

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hello, i’m so happy you’re making a comeback. since you’re in the mood to write abt chan, may i request a best friends to lovers trope?

friends to lovers ★ bang chan ↳ gender-neutral. fluff.

okay so falling in love with ur best friend is a big L but its one u are more than willing to take for christopher bang

first things first, chan loves people with his whole mf heart.

whether its family, friends, or romantic interests

so when it comes down to him falling for his best friend? idk if he’d really realize it unless someone literally spelled it out for him, he’d just mistake his affection towards you as just the same kind of best friend love he has for ˙his group members

he’d never think much about the fact that most of his song lyrics these days were getting oddly too specific in detail about a certain someone

or how whenever he felt down his gut reaction was to call you up because the sound of your voice seemed to make everything better

or how he really really likes cuddling with you after long days of practice

and when you stop by the studio when he’s stuck on a track and just pull him to the couch to lay down for a while to get a break from staring at that damned screen, he’d instantly relax in your hold, sighing in content as your fingers twirled around his curls

and yeah his stomach is filled with butterflies and his ears are all red all that corny stuff but you’re his best friend and best friends cuddle sometimes too right?

best friends also feel the urge to kiss one another on the cheeks? perhaps sometimes they fantasize about what it would be like to kiss each other on the lips?

ok maybe not.

chan knew some of his thoughts were a bit odd. but you were really pretty so it was understandable. you were his safe place and the closest thing he had to home besides his members.

unbeknownst to him, you were honestly no better, a bit more aware of the fact that you could possibly be in love with the idiot but you were still in denial nonethless

whenever felix or hyunjin would tease you about your relationship with chan you’d feign disgust like he’s my best friend that’s weird! but your cheeks are red anyways and you’re kind of stuttering and hey is it hot in here or what-

when you had tough days chan would spam you with encouraging texts, a million obnoxious emojis, memes, just anything to make you smile and it always always worked, just the sight of a notification from chan always made you light up but that’s what best friends are for right?

friends make the world seem brighter, that’s all chan was to you, a friend.

and chan cared a lot about his friends, so it only made sense..

but unlike his other friends, you always got special treatment

he’d give you gifts for your friendship anniversary despite all the suggestive looks from his group members, kissed your forehead when bidding you goodbye and always sent you good morning and good night texts each and every single day

he’d go out of his way for you always and all of that just seemed normal, natural to him. because he loves with his whole heart and he doesn’t even realize it

he wouldn’t really come to terms with things until one of the members like screams at him to just stfu already because he won’t stop talking about you and he somehow makes everything about you and it’s driving them insane

they’d be like we get it you’re in love with y/n shut up already

and he’d just be a stuttering mess like !! no im not !! and yet his heart is racing in his chest and everyone looks at him with an unamused glare

changbin would be like “everything you’ve written these last few weeks are all about them-”

felix would chime in like “you killed your phone battery texting them all day and then used my phone to call them so you could talk for three hours straight.”

jisung is like “yeah and you bought like ten different gifts for your friendship anniversary but you gave me a set of socks for my birthday-”

huh wait maybe he is in love with you.

“those socks were knitted and really nice.” would be his only line of defense

the rest of the afternoon the members would just tease him about all his lovesick puppy habits that he was completely unaware of

like how his face lights up the moment you walk into the room

or how he can never go shopping without picking up something for you because hey y/n would look really cute in this!

and that he even mumbles your name sometimes when he’s sleeping lord help the boy

things kind of go to hell because now he can’t look at you without blushing and stuttering

he’s panicking because how the hell could he have fallen in love with his best friend who probably only sees him as a brother? if you liked him back surely you would’ve let him know by now, i mean if he was as obvious as his members said he was with his feelings there’s no way you weren’t aware of his infatuation with you.

but you were on the same boat really, to you, it seemed as though chan was affectionate with everyone, he smooched jeongin’s cheeks every now and then, and the socks he got for jisung’s birthday were kind of nice? you weren’t that special right? there’s no way chan could fall in love with someone like you anyways... right?

you knew him better than you knew yourself so his odd behaviour definitely did not go unnoticed even tho your sheer lack of brain cells prevented you from realizing why he was acting odd in the first place

the good morning and good night texts stopped, the spams of memes stopped, it was just radio silence for a few days and it was starting to freak you out but it was close to the deadline for the new album so he could just be stressed and you could just be overreacting

you figured you’d stop by the studio at like ass o’clock like always with some takeout for chan because you knew he never ate much when he pulled all nighters, you even threw in some of his favorite snacks and energy drinks, bringing your laptop with you to get some work done of your own hopefully

you did your signature knock on the door before entering but chan still jumped at the sight of you, weirdly startled by your presence, avoiding your eyes and only managing to cough and give you a tilt of a nod in greeting before gluing his eyes back to his computer screen

your first initial reaction is did i do something wrong :( and you intend to ask chan about it but he puts his headphones in and seems rather busy, you remind yourself again that he’s just focused on the new album he’d never purposefully ignore you.

you’ll ask him later, taking a seat on the couch, scrolling through social media mindlessly as your thoughts can’t seem to drift away from the boy across from you and how fluffy and soft his hair looks today.

after a good fifteen minutes pass, chan still hasn’t touched the food you brought which leaves you no choice but to annoy him to ensure he takes proper care of himself. calling his name multiple times to no avail, you tap the space bar, pausing the track before removing his headphones.

“channie, you can ignore me if you want to but i won’t let you ignore getting your vitamins and nutrients. i know you didn’t eat dinner. so eat.” he’s still not looking at you, just nods, clearing his throat awkwardly before turning over towards the takeout you brought for him and taking a seat at the couch.

you follow behind him, sitting right beside him. just a week ago you were here with chan laying on your chest, watching tiktoks of cats but now here you were, in the same spot but this time chan was silent, closed off. the complete opposite to his usual warm and bubbly demeanor.

he didn’t even bother to deny the fact that he was ignoring you, he just ate silently and fear starts to consume you because maybe chan really was upset with you?

before you figured he was probably just stressed and overly focused on the track he was working on but now it seems obvious he’s blatantly ignoring you, not even sparing a thank you for the takeout which was really unlike him. he always thanked you for taking care of him with tight hugs and sloppy kisses on your forehead. now he didn’t even look at you.

half of you was agitated that he was giving you the silent treatment instead of just being honest with you about whatever was bothering him but the other half of you really wanted to smooch his chubby cheeks filled with rice because wow he looked really really cute.

as annoyed with him as you were, you couldn’t help but appreciate his bareface, it was you favorite look of all, when he didn’t look like a famous idol, instead just a regular boy with blemishes and unruly hair in grey sweats and a hoodie.

a grain of rice hugged the corner of his lip, you fought back the urge to kiss it away. he was so unfairly attractive it made you want to punch him

you lean forward, reaching out to him to wipe the stray food away but he evades your touch, leaving your hand raised awkwardly out in front of you in rejection. now he didn’t even want you to touch him?

“did i do something wrong?” you didn’t realize how hurt you were by his silence, by his disgust of you, how he felt like a stranger these days. you kicked yourself inwardly for sounding so broken but the tone of voice seemed to strike something in chan because he finally met eyes with you for the first time in what felt like forever.

“w-what no not at a-all what makes you think that?”

“chan you’ve ignored all my texts for the last three days. you haven’t talked to me in nearly a week and now you can’t even spare a hello when i come in? you’re even avoiding my touch like i have the plague or something.” guilt washes over him immediately and he puts down the plate of food and looks at you with those brown eyes that are all sad and regretful and you forgive him before he even opens his mouth because you’re just that helplessly in love with the idiot

“i-i’m sorry. i didn’t mean to, really, i just have a lot on my mind right now and i just...” he turns to look away again but you place your hand to his chin, turning him forward to meet eyes with you again, he doesn’t shy away from your touch this time

“chan if i said something or did something wrong that bothered you, y’know you can always talk to me right?” you said earnestly, cupping his cheek in your hand, he leaned into your touch, humming gently. relief enraptured your heart, along with warmth

“you didn’t do anything wrong, i promise.” his eyes don’t leave yours, nor does his voice waver, so you believe him

“then why are you ignoring me?”

“because...” he tries to get the words out but his brain is going a mile a minute and you’re really close to him. you’re turned to face him, sitting criss crossed, knees bumping against his, he can feel your body warmth and it’s kind of sending him into overdrive

“because?” you urge him further, unable to help your lips from curling downwards in worry. he’s silent still, biting his bottom lip anxiously and you consider giving up for a moment but then he pulls your hand away from his cheek, instead holding it tight in his.

“i realized something. the guys, they made me realize some things.” he starts, eyes flittering past each and every single one of your features, admiring them silently to himself. how did it take him so long to realize he was in love with you? you were beautiful, his best friend, his whole heart, his muse.

earlier, his eyes were glued to the screen because he was rereading the words he’s written over the last few weeks and he couldn’t quite believe he wrote lyrics that were literally entirely about you and he had no idea, just assumed he had some new rush of creativity or something.

of course he was in love with you, he always been in love with you.

“yeah?” you rub your thumb over his hand slowly in an attempt to ease some of his anxieties. whatever it was he needed to tell you, it was clearly taking a toll on him, he was fidgeting, sighing over in over again and shaking his head trying to clear his thoughts. you felt a bit bad, perhaps you were prying too much?

“look i just–– i know we’re best friends, and the last thing i want to do is jeopardize that so if what im about to say makes you uncomfortable or something j-just forget it ever happened okay?” unknowingly, you hold in you breath, fear for his next words knocking the wind out of you.

“i... i like you. like like you, and- i don’t know how to deal with it so i’ve just been avoiding you and i’m sorry- wait why are you laughing?” his eyebrows are all furrowed and his cheeks are bright red and he’s squeezing your hand in confusion and you just look at him and just die of laughter

why were you laughing? you weren’t sure. maybe it was relief? joy? just pure utter love for the idiot in front of you?

“channie-” you attempt, but your laughter still has control over your lungs so you just cling to the boy helplessly, looking up at him with so much happiness in your eyes that he can’t help but feel a bit hopeful that maybe this laughter is good laughter?

“why are you laughing! i just confessed to you, put my heart out on the line and your response is laughter?” he’s smiling despite the confused tone of his voice, nudging you playfully but you pull him into you, shoving your face in the crook of his neck trying your hardest to get out the last of your giggles. with one last deep sigh, you prepare yourself to finally give him a proper response

“i’m sorry for laughing channie i’m just really happy. and relieved.” you finally pull away from him, resting your forehead against his, cupping his face once again in your hands.

“i like you too chan, i’ve liked you for a really really long time.”

the smile that lights up his face is one you’ll never forget, his eyes practically disappear, his dimples protruding through those precious cheeks of his and you can’t help the small laugh in happiness at the sight

“thank god i was actually losing my mind you know, changbin and jisung have been making fun of me all week, clowning me for being a lovesick puppy.”

“is that why they’ve been wiggling their eyebrows whenever i walk by-”

“unfortunately yes.”

“chan you should’ve just told me!”

“yeah well! i thought you saw me as like a brother or something!”

“what- no! i’ve literally been in love with you since the moment we met you idiot-”

“yeah well i’ve been writing songs about you for the last month, songs that you helped with and you didn’t notice a thing-”

at that you just :O bc realization hits u like a train n yea wait a minute he was pretty obvious..

he just gets all red again and then you smile at him and he’s smiling back at you and with the dopiest grin on his face he’s like

“can i kiss u..” and u dont bother to reply you just grab his cheeks and connect your lips with his

the kiss is kind of a mess tho bc you’re both just so ridiculously happy that you can’t stop smiling so yea its not a proper kiss but its filled with giggles and each time you pull away chan only leans forward to peck you again and again because he cant seem to get enough really and he’s just so elated that he can finally do this as many times as he wants

in conclusion chan loml<3

requests are open! :) ↳ notes: tysm for all the kind welcome back msgs ily all sm omg <3 i ended up combining two requests as they were a bit similar i hope thats okay hehe <3 also sry if this is sloppy this is my first post in a long time & im kind of rusty .. whew

#bang chan #bang chan x reader #bang chan scenarios #bang chan imagines #bang chan requests #stray kids

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soc-characters-as-songs · 3 years

Note

Marina?

ivy: goodbye ("goodbye my friend/maybe we won't meet again/but you'll always be my closest friend/I hope you'll always be happy/some mistakes are hard to learn/and broken hearts are quick to burn/and slow to heal easily")

meredith: the state of dreaming ("all I really want is to be wonderful/people in this town they, they can be so cruel/I live my life inside a dream, only waking when I sleep/if I could sell my sorry soul, I would have it all")

diana: can't pin me down ("now I got your back up/what do you not like/do you think I'm stick-up/'cause I'm always picking fights/you might think I'm one thing/but I am another/you can't call my bluff/time to back off, motherfucker")

dahlia: soft to be strong ("I believe the world is beautiful/only the weak ones are cruel/I choose to love you without fear/no shame in being sincere/and I guess I've known it all along/the truth us you have to be soft to be strong")

alassie: seventeen ("oh, you are embarrassed of me/because I use my tongue freely/bet you wish I couldn't speak/cause when I do you know/I tell you why you're being weak/you want a hassle free life/go get your upper class wife/oh she's got all the personality/of a lemon that has been/truly sucked dry")

ramona: are you satisfied? ("high achiever don't you see?/baby nothing comes for free/they say I'm a control freak/driven by a greed to succeed/nobody can stop me/'cause it's my problem if I want to pack up and run away/it's my business if I feel the need to smoke and drink and sway")

rhea: gold ("you've got it in the palm of your hands/it's slipping through your fingers like sand/'cause they don't understand who you are/doesn't matter as long as I am your star/yeah I know that I need the gold/but what I love can't be bought or sold")

cornelia: true ("everybody tells us what to do/think they always know what's good for you/we know they don't really have a clue/people like to tell you what to think/sometimes it feels right to do wrong/let it go and listen to your own instincts/'cause you don't need nobody else/when you are true, true to yourself")

kaden: emotional machine ("it's no excuse/to treat me like you do/my perception is skewed/cause I know what you went through/cut from devotion, lost in an ocean/out of emotion for you/I'm a machine/unemotional being/ever since I was a teen/cut my feelings off clean")

andreia: numb ("I can't breathe, and I can't smile/this better be worth my while/I feel numb most of the time/the more I get the higher/Ill climb and I will wonder why/I got dark only/to shine/looking for the golden light/oh its a reasonable sacrifice")

arely: solitaire ("hard like a rock, cold like stone/white like a diamond black like coal/cut like a jewel, yeah I repair myself/when you're not there/solitaire/something you consider rare/I don't wanna be compared/with that cheap shimmer and glitter")

suzy: forget ("sick of my small heart, made of steel/sick of the wounds that never heal/'cause I have lived my life in debt/I've spent my days in deep regret/yeah, I been living in the red/oh, 'cause I can't forgive and I can't forget, forget")

samuel: fear and loathing ("now I see, I see it for the first time/there is no crime in being kind/not everyone is out to screw you over/maybe, yeah just maybe, they want to get to know you/and now the time is here/you don't have to live your life in fear")

bianca: oh no! ("one track mind, one track heart/if I fail, I'll fall apart/maybe it is all a test/cause I feel like im the worst/so I always act like im the best")

archibald: orange trees ("spent so long, was busy chasing happiness/when all I needed was a little peace/try to get back to what we need/living like we're supposed to be")

raphael: mowgli's road ("do you think you will be good enough?/to love others and to be loved?/oh lord/now I can see/the cutlery will keep on chasing me/there's a fork in the road/I do as I am told/and I don't know/who I want to be")

#songs #the selected #host characters

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onlyjihoons · 6 years

Text

collegebf!jihoon

a/n; congrats to jihoon for being accepted into uni;-;-; and btw pls pardon the mb that was the closest thing i could find to college jihoon in my laptop

masterlist// requests are open

major: theatre/acting

wanted to take up aerospace technology, but decided to go for his real passion instead

got in through rolling admission, didnt have to face the stress of college entrance examinations

however a very talented actor, able to shed tears in 30 seconds

havent had his first kiss despite acting since five,, and people are shook lol

has looks crafted by the acting gods, visuals made for acting

able to pull off both bad roles and good roles

honestly very friendly and humble young actor, seniors are certain he will make it big in the industry one day

will greet classmates and lecturers good morning and bid them goodbye

lowkey enjoys classics like romeo and juliet, lord of the flies, julius caesar, animal farm

does well in the prose section in tests because he reads widely

actually a well all-rounded student, perfect 4.0 gpa in every semester

took up ballet in high school oops and hence knows every scene in ballet classics like sleeping beauty

sings and raps decently, a good dancer too,, a literal golden child lol

but below the perfect boy surface,, jihoon is an avid gamer who always occasionally stays up till the wee wee hours of the night to play games

like overwatch sorry guys that’s the only game i know

sometimes will arrive to class late, hair in a mess and last night’s pyjamas

but at the end of the day he does well in everything without even trying so the lecturers just let him be

you didn’t even know why you took up theatre,, maybe its because you scored an A in literature during your college entrance exams

communications was too controversial for you anyway

you had zero to little acting experience, the only experience you had was pretending to be sick in school

like jihoon, for the prose section of tests you would score full marks most of the time

but drama section was your pitfall

not that you couldn’t act, but you had a fear of being on camera

selfies with friends are fine, but you just don’t like your pictures being taken in general

one day, your lecturer gave out an assignment, apparently it’s paired work and your partner has already been chosen beforehand

you liked pair work, and honestly one of the only ways you can pull up your grades for the drama section

once you received your assignment, you read the name below yours in bolded itallic,

park jihoon

you sighed, you were afraid of being a burden to the golden student, since he already has secured his own distinction anyway

you were acquaintances with jihoon, but not that close to be friends either

“y/n!” jihoon settled into his seat beside you, “i’m glad we are partners, at least you won’t be like some of the girls in this class…”

you smiled weakly, thankful that he didn’t have a bad impression of you already, “what about them?”

“they always wanted to add a kiss scene in the plot, just to kiss me, its just, ugh.” this was the first time you’ve seen jihoon getting annoyed, and you found it cute honestly

“that’s gross, but don’t worry, i wont make you kiss me, i don’t think you’d want to either.” you patted his back, and you swore that you saw a tinge of hurt in jihoon’s eyes momentarily

“thanks y/n.”

for the first 2 days, you and jihoon practically breezed through the prose section, sharing your favourite scenes of the classics

“romeo and juliet was a good ending”

“no, they should’ve ran away with each other”

despite conflicting ideas the both of you worked well together and became much closer than before

at first you thought jihoon was a little bit of a tsundere, but the more you knew him, the more goofy he seemed

like how he liked penguins, and has a few penguin stuffed toys on his bed

and you also learnt that jihoon used to do classical ballet in high school, which was lowkey a surprise for you

then came the drama section, the both of you decided on romeo and juliet

wow im so basic sorry guys

you didn’t force jihoon to kiss you too, so the both of you just settled with jihoon putting his thumb in between the both of your lips

or almost kissing

bahbam y’all “kissed”

jihoon told you it was a method actors use so that they don’t really kiss the actress,, and he pulled out that card for all of the girls who wanted to kiss him lol

he even was super sweet about the whole thing, asking if you were uncomfortable and stuff

you always said you wouldn’t but your heart would race whenever he did a tiny bit of skinship like hugging or holding your hand

ultimately, it was just for the grades, right?

wrong.

jihoon had the biggest crush on you ever since the both of you were in the same class

he was just scared of approaching you, scared that you would think he’s trying to get into your good books

so he was really excited when the lecturer announced that you were his partner

and when you said “i don’t think you’d want to either” to the kiss he was lowkey slumped bc it meant to him that you thought of jihoon as a normal friend and not something more

so on the day of the drama showcase, jihoon could sense your nervousness

usually you were ok but today you werent

“what’s up y/n? are you not feeling well?”

“i have a phobia of being on camera,” you wrung your hands together, “sorry jihoon, i’m bringing down our grades–”

“no, y/n, look at me.” jihoon made you face him, his features gleaming under the light, “we’ll overcome this together. i promise.”

“how?”

jihoon then swooped down and kissed your lips, which definitely took you aback

“w-what”

“just imagine the camera isn’t there, and there is no one in the classroom except us.” jihoon smiled, as if the kiss didnt happen

you were definitely calmer than before, weirdly, and nodded.

when it was you and jihoon’s turn, he gave your hand a small squeeze

it went pretty smoothly, with no camera-fright for the first time

until the kiss scene, jihoon actually kissed you for real

and the whole class was shooketh bc park jihoon,, kissing a girl for the first time?? wowzers

in the end, both of you got your As and you got yourself a boyfriend out of it too

honestly jihoon is more of a homebody than you think

he would want to stay at home rather than go out on dates

so he would invite you over to his dorm, to watch movies or just cook for him lol

sometimes he would ask you to play games with him too, but you’d fail

he would be somewhat addicted to his games too, so you have to get through all means and ways to get his attention back on his work

dont be surprised if he calls you at like 3am telling you hes hungry

and you only read it the next morning

“did you see the message i sent you?”

“no…?”

“i sent it at 3am and it said 2 ticks…”

“you’re gaming again?? YAH PARK JIHOON”

“hahaHAHAHHAHAHAHAH yes im sorry babe please forgive me:

has his designated seat beside you in every class

sometimes the lecturer has to call him out for being too clingy to you and its embarrassing when everyone just has their attention on the both of you

save this clingy baby please

will help you hold your notes,, and sometimes clean up with you at your dorm or home

your mother loves him already even tho she only met him through facetime

likes to go to find all the ramen stores in the vicinity and try all of them out

also likes taking pictures of you when you dont notice

and sets it as his kkt bg

your contact in his phone is saved as baby girl💓💕💖💗💘💞

and his contact saved on your phone is baby boy❤💙💚💛💜

you know those boyfriends who treat their girlfriend like theyre their entire universe? yup thats jihoon

and like his eyes light up whenever he talks about you its just so endearing

likes to be the big spoon when cuddling just so he can engulf you in his arms

hardly gets mad but even if he does its not that serious and over something stupid like him losing his notes or something

jihoon knows where to draw the line, when you need to study he tries not to disrupt you

keyword: tries

overall, a clingy but sweet koala as your bf, you could never ask for more

#wanna one scenarios #park jihoon #wanna one #park jihoon scenarios #Fluffy writes

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meaningtotellyou · 6 years

Text

in honor of dates being released, here’s a list of foreseeable lit tour moments:

the BOOM BOOM BOOM in the opening of ready for it

literally just rapping the verses at the top of our lungs

i i i sEE / touch mE / i island bREEZE

are you ready for it?

BABY LET THE GAMES BEGIN LET THE GAMES BEGIN LET THE GAMES BEGIN

in the middle of the nIIIIIGGGGHHHHT

BIG REPUTATION BIG REPUTATION OOH YOU AND ME WE GOT BIG REPUTATIONS AAAH AND YOU HEARD ABOUT ME OOOOH I GOT SOME BIG ENEMIES

future?!?!?!?!

ED??!?!?

i hit you like B A N G

i swear i don’t love the drama, it loves me!

i d i d s o m e t h i n g b a d

i can feel the flames on my sKIN

crimson red paint on my lIPS

IF A MAN TALKS SHIT THEN I OWE HIM NOTHING

the gunshots

PRRATATATATA TATA TA TA

if he drops my name then i owe him nothing and if he spends my change then he had it coming!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

they’re burning all the witches even if you aren’t one

so light me up light me up light me up go ahead and light me up

don’t blame me!! just taylor and the crowd singing the first “don’t blame me, love made me crazy if it doesn’t you ain’t doin’ it right / lord save me my drug is my baby i’ll be using for the rest of my life”

THE BEAT DURING THE CHORUS

but im your baby your baby

i once was poison ivy but now i’m your DAaAisyyy

OH LORD SAVE ME MY DRUG IS MY BABY I’LL BE USING FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE

the beat drop in delicate

cause i like yoooouuu / yeah i want yoooouuu

cause i know that it’s delicate delicate

isn’t it isn’t it isn’t it

hearing the beginning of lwymmd. iconic enough.

*clap clap*

no, i don’t like you.

I CHECK IT ONCE. THEN I CHECK. IT. TWICE. AAH

screaming the “what?!”

THE WORLD MOVES ON ANOTHER DAY ANOTHER DRAMA DRAMA BUT NOT FOR ME NOT FOR ME ALL I THINK ABOUT IS KARMA AND THEN THE WORLD MOVES ON BUT ONE THING’S FOR SURE: MAYBE I GOT MINE BUT YOU’LL ALL. GET. YOURS.

“i don’t trust nobody and nobody trusts me” getting more and more intense each time

i’m sorry, the old taylor can’t come to the phone right now

why? oh!

CAUSE SHE’S DEAD!

the whole damn crowd doing the choreo. come on. you know it’s gonna happen.

that haunting, echo-y sound of the beginning of so it goes

the beat dropping at the chorus

the music stopping at “i make all your gray days clear”

but i got your heart skippin skip skip skippin when i’m gone

who’s counting? *whole crowd screaming* 1, 2, 3

THE FIRST “GORGEOUS”

ALL OF US SCREAMING “DING!”

honey it hurts

YOU MAKE ME SO HAPPY IT TURNS BACK TO SAD THERE’S NOTHING I HATE MORE THAN WHAT I CAN’T HAVE YOU ARE SO GORGEOUS IT MAKES ME SO MAD

GUESS I’LL JUST STUMBLE ON HOME TO MY CATS. ALONE.

*SIGHS*

UNLESS YOU WANNA COME ALONG “DING!”

no nothing good starts in a getaway car.

i was screamin “GO GO GO”

i was riding in a getaway car / i was crying in a getaway car / i was dying in a getaway car / said goodbye in a getaway car

everyone snapping along to the beginning of king of my heart

tHe BeAt DrOp!?!?!!

when all the sound explodes to almost nothing during the chorus and then picks up again

IS THIS THE END OF ALL THE ENDINGS?

dancing with our hands tied piano

i had a BAD FEELIN

no offense but that beat drop tho

sooo baby can we dance oooh through an avalanche

just us and taylor for “our secret moments in a crowded room they got no idea about me and you” at the start of dress

ah ah ah

ah ah aH AHHHHH

say my name everything just stops *crowd silence*

there is an indentation in the shape of you ONLY BOUGHT THIS DRESS SO YOU COULD TAKE IT OFF made your mark on me, golden tattoo ONLY BOUGHT THIS DRESS SO YOU COULD TAKE IT OFF

this is why we can’t have nice things.

i’m shaking my head. and locking the gates.

THIS IS WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE!!! THINGS!!! DAR!!! LING!!! BECAUSE YOU BREAK THEM, I HAD TO TAKE THEM AWaAaAaY!!!!

DID YOU THINK I WOULDN’T HEAR ALL THE THINGS YOU SAID ABOUT MEeEeEe!!!!! THIS IS WHY WE CAN’T HAVE nice things.

if only you weren’t so shaaaaaaadyyyyy

here’s a toast to my reeeal friends, they don’t care about the HE! SAID! SHE! SAID!

and here’s to my bAaAby, he aint reading what they CALL! ME! LATE! LY!

and here’s to my maaamaaa, had to listen to ALL! THIS! DRA! MA!

and heeere’s to you, cause forgiveness is a nice thing to dooooo

HAHAHA! I CAN’T EVEN SAY IT WITH A STRAIGHT FACE

the whole crowd calming down for call it what you want

starry eyes sparking up my darkest night

not because he owns me, because he really knows me

“would you run away with me?” the whole crowd screaming back “YES”

crying all the way through new year’s day!!!!!

don’t read the last page.

hold on to the memories they will hold onto you.

(wow imagine looking at the person closest to you and sobbing)

please. don’t. ever become a stranger whose laugh. i. could recognize anywhere.

#reputation world tour #im stressed

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ellrond · 7 years

Note

short fic prompt: flinthamilton - “There’s blood on my/your hands.” could be pre-BS when james beat up the officers in the bar or sth post-S4 (bonus points if the blood is on thomas' hands).. or w/e u want im down with anything just give me angst :))

It was the butler that entered the parlour and passed through the small throng of people gathered there, invisible in his movements. He troubled no one, was noticed by no one, and whispered the quiet message in his lord’s ear with no disturbance at all. Thomas had always admired the butler for his discretion. He felt Miranda’s eyes on him as he listened to what he was being told, and his jaw clenched. She was by his side in a heartbeat.

“What is it?” she murmured, glancing around the room with an easy expression that did not correlate with the concern in her voice.

“The lieutenant is here,” came the quiet reply. Thomas was less skilled at hiding his discomfort than his lady wife.

She glanced up at him and took a sip of her drink. “Go to him. Everything is fine here. We can do without you for a little while.”

Thomas looked down at her and gave her a strained smile before kissing her cheek softly, and she squeezed his hand. He would be lost without her.

No one seemed to notice him leaving the parlour, or at least, no one paid him any mind, and he strode briskly through the house to the library, the room closest to the front door. Inside, one of the footmen was waiting with James and Thomas sent him away with a nod of his head and small word of thanks. James did not look at him. His coat was wet and still about his shoulders, his hat dripping.

“It’s raining, I see,” Thomas commented, his voice far calmer than his nerves. James was not the sort of man to appear anywhere unannounced, let alone anywhere after midnight. Something must be extraordinarily afoot for such a visit.

James made no answer but turned to face him. There was a small droplet of blood seeping down from one of his nostrils and shadows under his eyes suggested the first sign of bruising. Thomas’ jaw clenched. It appeared not as if James had been assaulted on the street, given the complete and tidy nature of his coat and gloves. A bar fight, perhaps.

“May I ask what happened, or would you prefer some small talk first?” Thomas asked lightly, walking over to him having hardly missed a beat. He stepped behind him to slip his coat from his back and slung it over the back of a chair before taking his gloves and hat and placing them atop it. James was too shaken to let the absurdity of it surprise him and instead he let it happen. His hair had come free from its tie. Some strands stuck to his damp face.

“Forgive me,” he began, voice unsteady and hands restless. “I shouldn’t have-”

Thomas held up his hand. “It’s quite alright. We had not retired for the night yet.”

The movement of McGraw’s hands drew Thomas’ eyes to them and his lips parted.

“There’s blood on your hands.”

Without thinking, he took them into his own and brought them up to the light to examine them, turning them this way and then that, looking for signs of breaks or bruises. Three of his knuckles were split and there was swelling in both his hands and Thomas gently touched his fingers to feel for any fractures. “What happened?”

“I... it was in... I was...”

It was difficult to even know where to begin. How was James supposed to explain to Thomas what had happened? It seemed so foolish now to think about, how he had so easily played into the hands of those men who wished to paint him as some sort of uncivilised heathen, some underclass wretch in fine clothes. A monster in disguise. He tried to steady his breathing. Was it hitched from anger or distress? He couldn’t really tell, but it was only Thomas here. He was safe to feel however he felt with Thomas.

“There were men baiting me at an inn. Other officers. They said... they spoke insults.”

“About you?” Thomas queried.

“About you. And Lady Hamilton.”

James pulled his hands out of Thomas’, unable to look at him. It was too shameful what had happened, what he had done, what that man had said. Too shameful.

“What did they say?”

“I would rather not repeat it, my lord.”

“Thomas. Please, I might better understand if I could know what they had said.”

“Thomas,” James echoed. He took a deep breath, reminding himself who he was with. This was Thomas. Just Thomas. He could speak anything and know he was safe with Thomas. “He said that working with you would bring advantages a man of my station could only dream of otherwise. That you could secure connections and future employment for me.”

“A patronising thing to say to an officer,” Thomas remarked almost lightly, “but hardly reason to bloody your knuckles against them. What else did they say?”

“I... I would rather not repeat it.”

“James.”

The lieutenant sighed uncomfortably and avoided Hamilton’s gaze. “He said that if you liked me well enough, you would let me...”

“I would let you what?”

James grimaced. “Bed your wife.”

Thomas let out a short and quiet laugh. “Is that so?”

“Forgive me, my lord-”

“Don’t be ridiculous, James. I thought we were well past formalities. Come, sit down.”

Leading him to the window seat, Thomas looked out of the window onto the rainy street outside. James paused, looking down at him, and the other man met his gaze. “Come on, it’s not a trick.”

Still a little unsteady on his feet, McGraw sat beside him. In the soft light of the library, long shadows were cast across Thomas’ face, making his features sharper, more defined. In this light, James noticed, he was quite beautiful.

“I wish you had not assaulted someone over a comment such as that. It would not please Miranda, and it does not please me. We do not care for the rumours that are whispered around London about her, or about me for that matter, and our closest friends do not either. As our friend, I ask that you do not concern yourself with them again.”

James looked at him, his lips parted in shock and eyes searching. “You think me your friend?”

A small smile appeared on Thomas’ face and he reached out to take James’ hand and squeezed it gently. It must be sore. “Of course. And we protect our friends. Make your apologies to Admiral Hennessey and I shall see to it that your station and appointments are not impacted by this... lapse in judgement. All I ask is one thing in return.”

“Anything.” James’ voice was quiet now, his eyes heavy with weariness and fixed upon Thomas’ mouth, watching how his lips formed over every soft word.

“Do not allow anger to get the better of you again.”

James drew in a deep breath through his nose and let it out through his mouth before answering. “Of course.”

Smiling softly again, Thomas carefully squeezed his hand and stood up. “Come along. Let’s get you cleaned up before anyone sees. We don’t want anyone thinking you’ve been involved in a brawl.”

It might have been a trick of the light, but James could have sworn that at that moment, Thomas winked at him.

#ask #flinthamilton #ellie writes #captain-flint

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lorlynarnaiz2 · 4 years

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Closing Activity 3

In my Self-care plan that can help me manage my stress, enhance my health and well-being and improve my academic performance is in physical, I will get active like eating healthy foods and especially taking my skin care routine because I do believe that if you have confidence enough, you are confident to face all the fears you want to try or overcome. In Cognitive, I need to recognize first my personal strenght and managing to correct my negativie thinking and maybe I need to create activities and show my hobbies. In this way, It can help meditiate to slow down my mind and relax. In emotional, I always take a have baths, I do create arts too, everything I want to say I go through drawing. Specially in my emotional state, helping others can manage my stress because I really love to help those people in need. In Social, every time when Im not okay or Im stress in school, I'll take a break and call my closest friends to play with me a badmintoon or something like to have some food trip. In spiritual, No matter what pain someone has done or done to me, I always forgive, no matter how much it hurts, I do not allow myself to cultivate anger. The Lord forgives, I must also because I am only human. And there is nothing perfect in this world, we all make mistakes.And the needs I need to do is to stick to my Goal in life no matter what happens and the things that I need to avoid and must fight is being lazy sometimes.

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survivorcostarica · 6 years

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Ep. 1 - “Imagine suffering, imagine euthanizing yourself, imagine losing your will to continue on...” - Randy

i cant see pls send imitrex

i have a crush on cole, i'm in this game and virgin islands with him and i really like talking to him. he is really genuine and easy to talk to, i feel ridiculous for admitting this but this was the first thing i thought to confess about lol

I want to shoot myself in the fucking face what is my tribe?!

Cole is such a messy thot, Kevin is that but without being remotely good at the game, Arika and Julia are best friends IRL and 1000% will be working together. Louise is a fucking saint but that also terrifies me because I can't do shit against her without being a terrible person. At least Madison is really down to earth and chill even thought I've known her for two days and met her on Club Penguin. I don't know Bryce, Noah or the other one so they're 1000% my go to people right now.

Ohkay hi hi. My name is Bryan and I’m here to try and NOT flop at this game. Ok sooo. I’m looking at my tribe and i notice. My best friend Madison is here. Just kidding i HATE her. Or at least that’s what i will want people to think so we aren’t targeted for our friendship or whatever cuz we had BEEF in our last game. Um. Josh is also here. I was in another game with him but i didn’t really get to talk to him that much. Other than that cole and Kevin seem nice enough and are talkative so that’s good. I guess I’ll just be able to talk more with other people later.

Imagine suffering, imagine euthanizing yourself, imagine losing your will to continue on in an ORG you were last minute filled into. I literally hate this whole tribe so much, and I'm going into this game with the mindset that we are losing every single immunity and reward. When I saw the first three cast reveal posts i prayed i wasnt on the orange tribe. i actually believed and god, and asked him for forgiveness for all the sins ive committed and pleaded my case to on why i shouldnt be on this tribe. but, alas here i am. so its time to play i guess I'm not good with social game, and thats why i usually fail at survivor. I always have a good first few days, but then its just me being inactive and skirmming my way until my inevitable premerge eviction. But in this game im literally going to pull all the stops i can. I will start to set up my reputation as a good survivor player. And it starts here. Even if nobody pms me I will take this game by storm. Meaning right now its getting good with the influential such as Jay and Drew. They have a few buds on the other tribe, and working with them can only help me when we hit merge. i'm also going to keep Chrissa tight because she is just such a good ally, but its also going to be hard to protect her as she is such a shit competitor. But thats all plans let me talk about to cast Cameron: Love cameron our last org played together we made final 3, and he asked me to cut him. I will keep him under my sphere of influence especially since he said he isnt familiar with this group of players Chrissa: I also love chrissa. She can be a little annoying sometimes, but she always has good intentions. She is fiercely loyal, and thats something great to have in an ally because numbers are more important in survivor than big brother Constance: I don't like him. I want nothing to do with him. The closest association I ever had with constance was us two being on the same cast reveal post. And I'm far more than content with that interaction. He's from facebook, and that means he is going to stir the pot when there isn't any stirring necessary. He is going to make a move just to make a move, and if I cut him earlier the better. But if I can work with him, and test and experience how he plays this game. I do think it would be more entertaining Drew: I have good relations with him but really havent played an org with him. I have no intentions on backstabbing him especially in this cast. I do think he will either slide into the shadows, or emerge as the person calling the shots for this tribe. Jay: Same as Drew tbh. They're together as a duo, so anything one does the other will follow. I'm not going to beef with him Jill: I haven't met Jill before this. but she is the driest person i have pm'd in a while. Me and her are having forced small talk, but i dont want to lose connections with her yet. I'm hoping she isnt well liked or well received so she can leave. Reagan: Me and her have butted heads so many times in vls. If you wanted a fight. Its going to be between me and her i bet your hat. Sam: I dont know if he's a newbie or from a community. But me and him kicked things off really well, and I'm feeling natural chemistry with him. I'll keep him near my sphere of influence for sure. Roxy: Going against Roxy is such a stupid move. Because she's just going to waste her whole entire game trying to vote you off. She gets really bitter easily, and i dont know what the hell she's saying half of the time. I dont understand her game or her mouth so im just gonna let her be...

[12:25:40 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: dam stop tryna out do my intro do I have to add my likes too? tch [12:25:48 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: I like big BUTTS and I cannot lie [12:25:53 PM] Chrissa Bullard: lol [12:26:54 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: okay Ill admit idc about the size of your butt [12:27:01 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: even if you have a small butt id still potentially like u [12:27:12 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: but yall are gay so like what can a straight gal like me do [12:27:29 PM] Chrissa Bullard: hello sam and roxy with her butt equality [12:29:22 PM] Jill: if u wanna be my friend add me and SAY hey bc i forget to add people [12:29:53 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: and I say HEY what a wonderful kinda day [12:29:54 PM] Jill: also msg me ur pronouns thanks [12:29:57 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: you can learn and work and play [12:30:26 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: my pronouns are "my lord" and "your highness" [12:30:51 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: I said I was a she cause dan didn't take me seriously even tho imma hella serious [12:30:52 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Admin): my pronouns are he/they and they are actually serious :) [12:31:02 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: oi how dare you say I aint serious [12:31:36 PM] Chrissa Bullard: your highness is serious do not get my lords pronouns wrong :P [12:31:41 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: :/ I'm the lord and the queen roxy herself [12:31:42 PM] Chrissa Bullard: seriously though [12:31:47 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: of course my pronoun is your highness [12:31:57 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: thank you ! see? chrissa gets it! [12:32:02 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: look I even have a crown as proof [12:32:07 PM] Chrissa Bullard: true [12:32:13 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: i trans-itioned from being a commoner to being a queen [12:32:51 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: also if i don't pm you its cause i avoid social interactions at all times [12:33:00 PM] Chrissa Bullard: a mood [12:33:05 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: and i haven't left my house in 9 days [12:33:13 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: apart from an hour once to go to the gym [12:33:17 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: i haven't recovered since i take medicine. its called coffee. it helps releave the symptoms of being dead inside

My tribe is probably going to be useless. Which means that we have to turn it OUT for immunity. Randy, Roxy and I are all attempting to make flags. I have faith in Randy's abilities... roxy, not so much. But she does have a good artistic ability, so I hope she turns it out for this. We can hope. We can hope.

Blah blah blah. Confessional confessional. The immunity comp is a flag making competition. Which means i can’t really participate. The one we have so far tho is super cute!! There’s a Julia on our tribe. I have to start learning people’s names. Ugh. Too much work.

I think like our tribe will win immunity, looking at cadejo’s scores, they seem like flops I mean that tribe is super ugly so ya know… cute is gonna devour gorgeous. Anyways Anthony is doing great at the flag I gave him the ideas, he executed them for me so everyone is great. Also i got this red KEY

I really don't like my tribe but I think I like the other tribe even less just from the few people I've encountered before or at the very least heard about. If anything though that's great for me because I have all of two or three people I remotely care about so I have no issues with taking people out.

RANDY'S FLAG LOOKS TERRIBLE! but we're going with that one anyway!!! even though its literally furry meme nonsense!!! so i hope to god i dont get targetted when we lose bc i made an effort not to be a grumpy ass beyotch!

ummm roxy said she and sam wanna align with me!! it's so early!!! I may work with Reagan bc we worked together previously I think!! Everyone else seems fine. I'm gunna msg drew and everyone else tomorrow or later and say hey I've been napping!!! Go team

I honestly think im going because peop le don't tell me anything I'm scared

[3/28/18, 1:55:57 AM] Drew (heuse1ac): "I love y-...ughch..." [3/28/18, 1:56:05 AM] Drew (heuse1ac): Cameron 2k18 im just gonna put this here ;)

Anyway. Here's some tea. Roxy thinks I talk too much about being in the hospital. Sorry sweaty, I'm disabled, I'm gonna be in the hospital. And I have the right to talk about whatever I want. ANYWAY, Constance, the literal loml, gave me this tea so that's great. I LOVE HIM. So we made an alliance of me and drew, because drew has a "bad reputation" (sweetie, you were the one making tasteless comments night one, let's not get it twisted here!!) We talk a bunch, we have good laughs, and we head to bed. I went into this round wanting to target Roxy anyway, but she just went painted a bullseye on her back for me!

This first round felt so nostalgic to me, in the sense that being gone from these games for a while allowed me to step back and revitalize the way that I play games. In the beginning of the game, I felt an immediate connection with Cameron. He is someone who has a really nice, personable outlook as a person and I could see myself becoming really good allies and friends outside of this game. I also really enjoy Drew, Sam and Jill. Drew: I was excited to see him in this game because we just met a few days before the game started because he flirted with me a little and I thought he was a nice guy in general. I haven't had the chance of getting to know him all that well yet, though he stated to me that he will not write my name down throughout the game when we were first added to the tribe, so I hope that stays as promised. Sam: We both come from the same community but we both individually transferred to Tumblr at different points in time. I don't know him well enough to say he could be someone I stay with for the long run, but I have had a few calls with him and he seems pretty straightforward about what he wants in this game and where he wants to go. I'll leave it at that for now. Jill: She is literally everything that is me. "I'm going to see my sugar daddy," "I am eating a whole barbecque chicken pizza to myself," "I need money" I LOVE THIS CHICK! We need to align and become friends for sure because I can't see myself without her! One smaller relationship I have is with Chrissa and that will require some work on my part, both game wise and friend wise included. We had a rough past on a personal note but we are working our ways around it to become friends again on a personal level, not even on a game level. I feel like if Chrissa is able to handle herself in this game with me the way she did in Arrakis ages ago, she should be good to go with me! The people I really don't talk with or connect with right now are Jay, Roxy, Randy and Regan. - Jay just hasn't spoken a lot, but that may be subject to change? - Regan has this huge negative perception that everyone has given about her and I'm honestly not about holding past games or whatnot against anyone. If she is as crazy or as ballistic as people say she is then that will happen on it's own accord. - Randy is..Randy. I'm not really putting a whole lot here. He comes off extremely weird to me and I'm not feeling it. - Roxy and Randy both share the same trait they don't mind expressing: their messy players. I'm not one to want to play with people who are going to knowingly make things difficult for me in this game moving forward. I feel like getting out people who tend to be wildcards for my individual game will boost my ability to better know the personalities I surround myself with. Intended Target: Roxy Reason: I had a call with Sam and discussed some feelings about the challenge for the flag that had taken place. In my individual opinion, expressing the idea of putting in effort for a challenge and then doing the opposite of what you said you would do, shows a false sense of sportsmanship and that bothers me. Roxy said she would make a temporary flag as a concept, but never did and constantly said "I'm lazy, so I don't want to do it." Adding on to the reason above, I was asked if I wanted to be added to a call with Sam by Roxy as they were both speaking with each other and I said I wouldn't mind joining. We both tried asking Roxy about potential ideas for the vote off and Roxy made it clear that Regan would be too easy to get rid of. Then came the critical point of the conversation where Roxy would bring up Cameron and Drew's names, stating that Drew apparently has a bad or weird reputation in the Tumblr community of games, but this is COSTA RICA not any other game. She also stated in regards to Cameron word for word that, "I just think Cameron talks about themselves too much in the main chat, and that brings people to feel for them more, and that makes them look bad" and this was in relation to when Cameron stated he was in the hospital. I found that to be extremely bothersome because otherwise, Cameron has never talked about himself constantly or anything like that. My intentions are to pull myself, Drew, Cameron, Jill, Sam and Jay to vote out Roxy. I started the idea when I asked Sam on call blatantly and he agreed and I calmly took it by step. That's all I have folks! I hope this works out and if for some odd reason I go home first, well then it was fun while it lasted!

Okay so I need to catch yall up on how shit can turn into bliss SO reward I literally ate shit in. i scored to lowest out of everybody in the whole cast. Making myself inferior to competition flops like Chrissa. So that wasnt really well. However my soccial game has been stepping up. Even though im lacking a little bit in the pm part of my game. I have been having good chemistry with literally everybody in the tribe chat. I have also led us in the flag immunity. So me and Cameron made a flag. And the tribe had to pick which one, and it was pretty set even. I do think the end result wouldve been the same but it was nice to see people on my side and supporting me. So then we lose the tribal flag, and im literally yeeted away from the tribe. Which is really good since with this tribal vote i wouldve been thrown under the bus. allegedely roxy has been throwing names around, and had i stayed in the tribe it might of been my name that was thrown around since it was my flag that lost. so im happy to avoid the drama of the first vote. but now that people have bonded since roxy's polarization im starting to become more outcasted. I just need go stronger for immunities and amp up my social game even more. Since ive been to the other tribe I have a feeling on whats happening. Cole is aligned with all them bitches. Literally Madison Louise are people he's played with before, and when we talked in pms he said this tribe is full of his friends. He is very safe in his tribe which is really nice. Since the League of Gays need to work together at the merge : ~)

#survivorcostarica

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joanmelody-blog · 7 years

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"When our mind picks faults... eventually our actions will..."

Proverbs 28:13 Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy What does a person do when being caught after making a mistake? 1st - He hides , covers it up or lies about it 2nd -He blames other people , his circumstances heck! Even the universe 3rd- He realized , admits and ask forgiveness to GOD Where are you in these? Come on. Be honest. Read it back again. And admit – even to yourself. Where are you in these? Ok late me rephrase : 1st: hindi ko alam iyon. Ewan ko bakit ganoon nangyari. Wala akong kinalaman diyan. 2nd – Si ano kasi – Naku ganyan kasi siya dati – Siya kasi ugali niya kasi ganyan 3rd – hindi naman to mangyayari kung hindi ko din ginawa o sinabi to. LORD sorry po. Admit it. Most of us fall into the 1st or 2nd category . And we are so used in blaming other people that when you read this post YOU ARE THINKING OF THAT PERSON WHO IS UNDER ONE OF THESE TWO CATEGORIES but the real reason you thought of her and blamed her in your mind is because she has hurt you, maligned you and did you wrong or she is plainly “MASAMA” in your own eyes. In your own judgement. Let us always remember it ALWAYS takes two to tango. You wouldn’t come to a point where you’re not anymore comfortable having her around , where every time someone mentions her name or something/someone connected to her is being brought up you would remember all the things she did to you, where every time you see her or hear about her there’s this voice at the back of your mind that says “kalian kaya siya magbabago? Sana magbago na siya. Dapat magbago na siya” If you have REALLY FORGIVEN that person then you wouldn’t feel those. Just because that person has done wrong doesn’t mean youre better person than her it just means you sin differently than her. John 3:18 says : Little children , let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth Best explanation for that is either : a. you just don’t like her b.she has done something which you thought she is all to blame and youre 100% innocent c. she gets on your nerves kasi ganito siya or ganyan siya d. hindi lang talaga kayo click dahil you are totally opposite at hindi mo siya “feel" e. you don’t conform to what shes doing or who she is as a person .. SO LET ME ASK YOU GIVEN THESE WHAT WE THOUGHT WERE ACCEPTABLE REASONS DOES THAT AUTOMATICALLY JUSTIFY THE ENDS? Nasaan na ang John 15:12 that says “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.” Ni revise ba at sinabi “ This is my commandment , that you love one another ONLY OR IF ….” How do CHRIST love us? While we were yet sinners.So why cant we love fellow sinners? Saying I love her and I forgive her is so easy but proving can be rather difficult. Because when you love you don’t EVEN think negative of that person. When we love we overlook the bad and see the good in that person and tries to understand her. We don’t judge. We don’t condemn . We don’t gossip. We don’t look down. Did CHRIST did that to us when we sinned REPEATEDLY against HIM? HE did not. And HE never will. I remember as I was listening to Joyce Meyer she said “ One of the hardest thing I did was when the person I helped hurt me and I didn’t even tell my bestfriend. Instead of going to the PHONE I went to the THRONE”. Catch her drift? She went to GOD first. When you tell someone your story how the person hurt you and you tell ANOTHER person what kind of person she is YOU HAVE ALREADY ASSASSINATED HER CHARACTER .You have already given people a bad impression of her. Lets be honest here, ang lagi nating kinakampihan ay ang kwentong una nating naririnig, ang taong mas malapit satin. But just because shes close to us and we heard her story first doesn’t make her right. Hindi porket mabait siyang tingnan o tahimik doesn’t mean shes the aggravated one. Proverbs 26:20 – Without wood a fire goes out; without a gossip a quarrel dies down. -> We especially Christians should be careful on this, GOD is fair. Shouldn’t we be too? It is such a disappointment when instead of encouraging and reaching out and PLAINLY BEING A FRIEND, pag nagkamali ay parang PINAGTSISTSIMISAN PA. Sometimes we act na were just concern and we wanted to help which we convince ourselves that we do but at the end of the day it always boils down to “KNOWING WHAT HAPPENED” . Im tired of hearing “ano nangyari ? .... ganoon ba? grabi pala siya... .. alam mo pansin ko din yan sakanya.....ako hindi ko kayang gawin ang ginawa nya. hindi ako ganyan ” and then you hear that person who profess to be goody two shoes defame her close friend even her own flesh and blood. What a shame. We always wanted to clean others backyard before fixing our own. Let me give you a challenge. If you hear a scoop/rumor/gossip that sounds so interesting WHICH MAKES YOU REALLY WANTED TO KNOW THE WHOLE STORY. Can you keep it for a month? For a week? Without telling ANYBODY not even your closest friend but instead lay it down to GOD and say “ LORD, I heard she did something like this how can I help her? I ask that you give her strength and comfort the heart to repent to YOU” Can you do that? I mean if you are TRULLY AND SINCERELY concerned… YOU WOULD. What would JESUS do? He has driven demons from other peoples body but did you see somewhere in the bible where HE said “ Peter did you see that demon that was in his body? Grabi. Ang tindi! Siguro dahil ganyan siya etc..” or “ John alam mob a si ano pinaalis ko ang demon ni ano . Grabi iyon ang tinid ng demonyo na un” – NO RIGHT? SO WHY WOULD YOU? I heard a friend say which really struck me “ What difference are we with those who lived in this world if we act like we are living in one?” The first pillar to stand upon is knowing that we are all human. We all make mistakes—it's inherent to who we are. In any case, we can rest in the love of a God who is relentlessly patient with us, no matter how many times we must retake the same course. P.S. Im writing to express not to impress. #blog #mistakes #sin #convictionnotcondemnation #forgiveness

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hey--hayhay · 7 years

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100 Questions personal and not so personal :) Please ASK! Off or on anon… (I’m gonna go ahead and answer these because Im procrastinating) 1. How long have you had a Tumblr? 2-3 years

2. Describe your first kiss, who was it with, what was it like, where was it etc?it was with a guy named Daniel at a football game, it was just a little peck.

3. What’s your biggest regret? What’s something from your past you wished you could have changed? I don’t dwell on past mistakes. once i have learned my lesson i don let the regret distract from what i could be doing now.

5. Favorite Songs at the moment? 24K Magic by Bruno Mars and Girls/Girls/Boys by Panic! at the Disco

5. What is the craziest thing that you have ever done? idk but it probably involved my friend Taylor

6. What’s the most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to you? one time I used the intercom at school to advertise for the school play, i miss judged my stage voice and spoke so super loud in an obnoxious pirate accent

7. Do you have any scars and if so, how did you get them? i have a scar on my leg from when i broke it

8. Where would you like to be in 10 years? mentally I just hope to be happy

9. What are your views on drugs and alcohol? everything is good in moderation, but its important to follow any laws

10. What are your views on religion? you believe what you believe and ill believe what i believe and as long as we don’t interfere with each other whats the harm in being different

11. Have you ever thought about ending your own life? If so, why? I’ve never wanted to kill myself but i have had intrusive thoughts about doing it

12. Write 5 facts people might not know about you. 1. my username always relates to my late dog Sunday 2. I’m 19 3. I was my high school mascot for 3 years GO JAGS!! 4. i absolutely hate strawberries 5. i always feeling like running away.

13. last really important text you got? my dad texted me good morning today

14. Can you let go? with some effort yes

15. Discuss your first love. she gave me life. she was my happiness. she was also an 8 pound dachshund named Sunday.

16. Put your ipod on shuffle and write 10 songs that pop up. Explain why each song is on there. 1. Why don’t you Love Me by Hot Chelle Rae. 2. One Semester of Spanish Spanish Love Song 3. Cant Back Down from Camp Rock 4. Wobble by VIC 5. From Me To You by The Beatles 6. Homesick by ADTR 7. Thrift Shop by Macklemore and Ryan Lewis 8. I Can Do Whatever Im White by Rucka Rucka Ali 9. Cant be Tamed by Miley 10. Know Your Enemy by Green Day

17. Name somewhere you’d like to move or visit. Hawaii, i want to sit on the beach and play my ukulele and just be happy

19. What are your views on mainstream music? i usually like the popular stuff

18. Are you currently missing someone? yes, you probably know who you are

19. At what age do you think people should have sex? honestly have no idea, i guess its usually a good idea to follow the law ?

20. What are your highs and lows of this past year? high: he said yes and i got my own apartment and Clark, Low: i failed History and Rory.

21. What are your strongest beliefs?i believe that the world would be a better place with out Donald Trump

22. Who are you closest to in your family? i guess my mom but we don’t really talk about private stuff

23. How important do you think education is? education=knowledge=power

24. What’s one of your favorite shows? Doctor Who

25. How have you changed in the past 2 years? dear lord where do i begin? i have accepted that I’m not straight, i have gained so much confidence, i have been diagnosed as manic depressive, i have started seeing a therapist, i have lost a lot of friends but I’ve become ok with that. i started college and moved into an apartment

26. Name 5 people who are famous who you find attractive. Brendon Urie, Jensen Ackles, Cara Delevingne, Jensen Ackles, Selena Gomez, Jensen Ackles, Julianne Hough.

27. Name your favorite movie and what it’s about. The Goonies, these kids go out in search for lost pirate treasure.

28. Who is someone who fascinates you and why? Hunter, just the way he does things. i really wish i knew what he was thinking sometimes.

29. What kind of person attracts you? someone who is dorky and can make me smile (which isn’t hard to do honestly)

30. What’s a problem that you have recently had or are currently having? OVERTHINKING

31. Name something that you miss. i miss sleep

32. Share 5 goals you want completed in the next 30 days. 1. I want to smile a little more 2. I want to ace my Chemistry exam 3. i want to go to Natchez 4. I want to see a movie 5. i want to play in the rain

33. What’s been the highlight of your month and the lowest point? highlight: i went an entire month with out seeing my roommate. Low: I’m being to think my friend isn’t a good friend

34. What’s something that you’ve done in the past that you would never do again? idk

35. What is you’re biggest insecurity & why? not being enough because i over think shit too much

36. What were the last 3 songs you listened to and what did they mean to you?

37. Do you have a toy that’s really special to you and if so what is it, how did you get it etc?

38. Have you lost anyone close to you to death?

39. What is your purpose in life?

40. When was the last time you cried and what was it over?

41. If you got to spend an entire day with your favourite celebrity what would you guys do?

42. If you could only listen to one artist for the rest of your life, who would you choose and why?

43. What are 3 traits that you like about yourself and what are three that you dislike about yourself? Personality wise.

44. Can you cook? If so what are your favorite dishes to make?

45. What was the last decision you regretted making?

46. Do you believe in the saying “once a cheater, always a cheater”?

47. Do you ever wish you were famous?

48. What’s the nastiest thing anyone has ever said to YOU? Or something that’s hurt you above anything else and why?

50. What mark would you want to leave on this world after you are gone?

51. Have you ever thought of having plastic surgery?

52. Have you ever jumped in the pool with your clothes on?

53. Have you ever slapped a boy in the face?

54. What’s the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for you?

55. What is one of your favorite memories?

58. What’s the nicest present you’ve ever received?

59. Have you ever had your heart broken?

60. Have you ever wanted to change anything about your life? If so, what?

61. What is something you feel like you are really good at?

62. What are your top 5 favourite all time songs by your favourite artist?

65. What’s one thing someone has done for you that was really small but made a huge impact?

66. What do you do when you can’t sleep?

68. If you could change 3 things within your government, what would they be and why?

69. What’s your favourite holiday and why?

70. What’s the kindest thing a stranger has ever done for you? Even if it’s TINY like holding a door open for you, something that you remember even though they were a complete stranger.

71. Who’s your favorite cartoon character? Scooby do

72. What’s the first song that comes to your mind while reading this and why? All Time Low its stuck in my head

74. What would you like to be the first dance song at your wedding? Iol what wedding?

75. Have you ever been told you look like a famous person, if so, who? no but i think i show a striking resemblance to Tom Hanks

76. What’s one thing you can not live without? the internet

77. What is the most selfless thing you have ever done for someone?

78. Are you a girly girl? Iol nope

79. What color is your bed? brown?

80. Do you prefer light or dark haired guys? no preference

81. Are you currently frustrated with a boy? no

82. Do you have a best friend? yes

82. What song makes you cry the most? Say Something

83. What’s the funniest film you’ve ever seen?

84. What’s something crazy that you’ve always wanted to do?

watch the sunrise from the most eastern coast of the IS so in the first American to see the new day.

85. Has anything ever happened to you that you just can’t forgive? yes

86. Ever been really drunk? yes

87. Is there any type of rumor going around about you?

89. Have you ever felt ashamed about something? If so what was it & why?

90. Do you keep a journal? If so what mostly goes in it? Random thoughts, feelings, stories? no 91. Do you like somebody? yes

92. Craziest shit ever done?

93. What’s the saddest story/one that’s touched you the most that you’ve ever heard on the news? who watches the news?

94. If you were told you were going to have 3 daughters, what would you want to name them? Danni, Anne Drew, and Rose

95. Do you have a middle name and if so, what is it? it is Danea

96. Are you in a relationship? yes

97. Do you enjoy drama? only from a distance

98. Are you a virgin? yes

99. Are you short or tall? average though some people would call me short

100. Do you have siblings? If so, what are their names and how old are they? i have a little brother named Garrett (Gare Bear) he is 15. and an older brother named Tyler he is 24

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