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back2bluesidex · 7 months

Note

I'm Foive!

Anyways

Okay I have 2 songs

These two. Make it angsty but give it a a happy ending.

Um.... Member 🤔...... Jimin 🤷🏻‍♀️ ✨✨

Teardrops - JHS

Pairing: Music producer!Hoseok X Assistant!Reader

Theme: Angst, unrequited love au, friends and collogues to could be lovers.

Song: Teardrops on My Guitar

Word count: 1431

Warnings: Allusions to Hoseok being a fuckboy, an emotional confession, indirect rejection, open ending.

Minors and Karens Are Not Allowed in this Blog!!

A/N: Finally! Finally it's here. I have talked to bestie @phenomenalgirl9 and changed the member to Hoseok because why not. Idk how is it, since the song is not really something I choose to hear. Hope you like it tho, my girl.

“Really? You asked her out?” your eyes go wide with Hoseok’s admission.

“Yes. What’s with the expression, Y/N?” He chuckles, brushing off the evident displeasure on your face.

“U-uh not-nothing. You are strictly ‘no string attached’ type of guy. So.. I am just surprised.” you look down on your lap.

“I know right? But..” Hoseok looks away from you. His eyes wander in the empty space of the studio as if he is trying to picture her there.

“She’s irresistible. She’s beautiful, she’s funny, her knowledge of music is better than anyone I have ever worked with. And her cooking.. Umm.. delicious. But above everything. She understands me, she matches my vibe completely and I- I love spending time with her, I just love talking to her about anything and everything.” he pauses for a bit and then continues to break your heart, “I like her, Y/N. I really do.”

You stare at him and wonder how he could never see that he does all of those things with you too.

Yeah, you probably are not as beautiful as the woman in question but you make Hoseok laugh more than anyone else. You have been assisting him for the past two years because your knowledge of music certainly pays off. You are a decent cook and you never shy away from bringing new recipes that you experiment, which he enjoys wholeheartedly. And about talking.. Hoseok probably never counted how many late nights you have spent with him over phone calls, empty beer cans on the terrace, half-eaten cups of ramyeon in his studio, cold and stale fried chicken at his house, talking about everything starting from overbearing loneliness to the smell of fresh paint.

And still.. He doesn’t see you, even when you are always right beside him, always within his reach. Is it because you never climbed his bed? Is it because he never thought you were eligible enough for that?

Tears start forming in your eyes and unlike other times, you can’t blink it away. Your eyes are so heavy that it’s hard for you to even move your eyelids freely. And as a result, teardrops start falling on your jeans. The droplets get soaked in the material, providing them a darker shade than their original tone.

It takes Hoseok a few minutes to make out that you are crying. And when he does, he starts panicking.

“Y/N.. are you? Oh my god. You are crying.” Hoseok reaches for face. He cups your cheek so lightly as if you will be bruised if he puts too much pressure into it.

You move your face away from his grasp. Angrily wiping your tears away with the sleeve of your sweat shirt, you voice through your choked throat, “Yes, I am crying. But don’t ask me why. I might not be able to hide it anymore.”

Partially being hurt as you moved your face away from his thouch and partially being confused about your behavior, Hoseok decides to pull the truth out of your lungs.

“What? What are you hiding?” he asks carefully.

A sarcastic laugh bubbles in your throat unwillingly, “Really? You are really asking me that?”

“Y/N, I don’t understand anything. Please tell me what’s wrong. Why did you start crying as soon as I said I like…” Hoseok’s voice disappears in the thick air when realization hits him.

“No way. No! Don’t tell me you-”

“Yes. I am in love with you.” you finish for him.

“But I know you have never looked at me as someone to be more than just a friend and an assistant. No matter how hurt I get seeing you with different girls every night, I sucked it all up, put a smile on my face and continued pretending that it didn’t matter.” you avert your eyes from him and stare at the ceiling, “but.. I can’t anymore. Now that you finally found someone to keep you company for more than just a night, I might as well move on and start afresh.”

Hoseok’s heart hammers in his chest but he doesn’t know why. He knows you are right. He has never had any thought about what you and he could be. You are so precious to him that he protected you by drawing clear lines of boundaries. And Hoseok doesn’t like crossing boundaries, neither does he like when people cross them. But with you… he doesn’t know. He is not angry with you but with himself for unknowingly hurting you this bad.

Keeping his eyes on your profile, he starts to speak, “I am so-”

“Don’t say sorry. It’s not your fault that you don’t feel the same for me.” you cut him off. Even though your heart is shattered, you don’t want Hoseok to blame himself. “Can I ask for a favor tho?” you sigh.

“Sure. Tell me what can I do?” Hoseok tries to reach for your hands but you move them away to wipe your face.

"Can I take two weeks off? I need some time to calm myself down. We don't have much workload these days. So…" you mumble through your sniffles.

"Y-Yes. Sure. You have a lot of piled up vacations anyway." Hoseok doesn't like the sound of it. What if you never come back? What if you leave this job? How will he even survive without his most competent assistant slash one of the closest friends?

But he will let you go if that's what heals you. If that's what you want. That's that.

The guilt of hurting you has been eating him alive. But what's worse is your absence in his life.

No one pesters him for his meals anymore, no one seems to know how exactly he likes his coffee, no one knows which beat would work the best in the background, no one picks up his calls in the middle of the night, no one covers him with a blanket when he falls asleep in the studio.

All of a sudden, he is empty.

His late night fucking sessions are only a temporary diversion now. He hasn't seen the woman he seemingly likes after the conversation he had with you that day.

He tried calling you and texting you but each time he swiped his fingers through the keyboard, your tear stained face flashed in front of his eyes and he stopped.

Suddenly Hoseok realizes, it's you who is more important. But the question is.. what does he actually feel for you?

He doesn't know the answer but maybe he will find it out when you come back, maybe he will understand what it is when he gets to have a heart to heart conversation with you over some beer or coffee. Maybe?

But, Hoseok's hopes die and fears take the shape of reality when after two weeks your resignation mail comes instead of you.

–

You cried and cried and mulled over what to do for the entire first week.

At the beginning of the second week, you went on a tinder frenzy.

On the second day of the second week, you ended up on your tinder date's bed.

On the third day you started crying over Hoseok again.

On the fourth day, you started looking for other job openings.

On the fifth day, you get called on an interview and get the job.

On the sixth day, you type out your resignation mail.

And on the seventh day, you hit the send button.

–

On the first day of the third week, you find your doorbell ringing.

You are about to take the very first bite of your meal but someone has to interrupt.

You are pushed into a half amazed and half confused state when you find Hoseok on the other side of the door. You thought he would be more than relieved to know that you have quit. It would be awkward to work together after your sudden confession, especially when you know Hoseok doesn't like certain boundaries to be crossed (which you have clearly done with no remorse), thus, you quitting the job should be the best option from Hoseok's perspective. So, what is he doing here?

When you let him in, he looks grateful.

"Hey, can we talk?" He whispers staring intently into your eyes as if he has missed getting lost into you.

"Yeah.. sure." You reply with a small voice.

"I missed you." His voice quivers.

"Me too." You smile a little.

You don't know where this is going but if it's Hoseok.. you are ready to get hurt for years and years.

#bts angst #hoseok angst #bts x reader #hoseok x reader #bts fanfiction #jhope angst #jhope x reader #hoseok x you #jung hoseok #bts hoseok #bts jhope #bts

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respectthepetty · 3 months

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Hello hello! I finally caught up on DFF a few days ago and have been reading a bunch of meta ever since, but there are some things I can’t follow. Maybe you can help me?

First off, we keep talking about there being a Final Girl, but why is everyone so sure that there will be one? I could see more people surviving or the story going in a different direction entirely. Where does this conviction come from?

Then, I’m on board with the idea of hallucinations, but one thing that always bothers me is the question of how you could make sure that they all hallucinate the very same thing? I don’t know how hallucination-inducing drugs work, but that seems kind of weird to me.

Also, who is Tan and who is Perth again? This is such a dumb question, but I’m terrible with names and faces, and I know most of the characters now, but I keep mixing up these two.

Thank you so much for your time!

Anon, let me answer your last question first:

This is Mio who plays Tan in the series. Tan is part of the friend group but came along after Non disappeared.

This is Perth but it is unknown who he is playing in the series. He was only in the background of this scene in the dark jacket with the grey shirt.

As for the other questions, unfortunately, I cannot help you because unlike the rest of these perfectly normal people watching Dead Friend Forever, I'm crazy.

And because I'm crazy, I do NOT care about "reasoning" when it comes to my wack-a-doodle-doo theories. Therefore, White will be the Final Gay simply because I want him to be, and because none of these other motherf*ckers deserve to live.

Yeah, Fluke hasn't actively done anything, but he knew all of this was happening and turned a blind eye, so if Por is dead, why not just kill all of them? Well, expect for the actual killers, Tan and Phi, and the Final Gay White.

Por's death could have just been an accident, and everyone else will get out of this alive, but . . . I don't want it. I want Fluke to shoot Top, Tee to wrestle the gun away from Fluke only for it to go off and kill Fluke, White to kill Tee and run off scared, Tan to "die" because of an asthma attack (but he won't be dead), which will leave Jin and Phi as the only survivors, only for Jin to be stabbed by Phi right before White shows up with help.

Do you feel the crazy? Do you see what I was saying about myself? You cannot ask me logical questions because I am not using deductive skills. I'm operating off of vibes and vibes alone, which is why I felt Phi was sus in episode one. It's also why I don't like Jin. It's a vibe.

Which brings me to your drugs question - The vibes are off!

I think that Non is still alive and running around scaring them all, so not everything is because of the drugs, but if the energy isn't right, if the mood isn't chill, if the vibe isn't good, the drugs are going to hit different. The figurative trip will be bad. So if the literal trip involves the boys talking about Non and seeing videos of Non while they run through the woods for their lives, whatever drugs are in their system aren't going to be happy in a body with that amount of stress, and their brain will focus on Non and the masked killer. In fact, a common side effect of most party drugs is paranoia.

Hell, even some known prescriptions for depression and anxiety can cause these side effects.

Then again, I just do drugs. I don't know the actual science behind them, but I do know if the vibes ain't right, you're not gonna have a good night.

And these boys seem to be having a really shitty night.

But also, the boys haven't all seen the same thing. Fluke saw Por's eyes bleeding and attacking him. White saw a rash on his skin. Jin saw Mr. Keng. Top saw the masked killer trying to axe him (I think part of this was real) and thought he saw a masked killer in the road, so he scared Tee going on about it. Top also might be having a reaction to it which is why he was seizing.

PSA: Test your drugs, kids. Even Amazon, which I think is the devil, sells drug testing kits.

In case you have no idea what this image is about, the joint in her hand is laced with cocaine and was probably one of the reasons her ass was going through endless time loops, so don't do coke. Or things laced with it. Unless you wanna go into other dimensions and DIE every single time. Okay? M'kay!

So to wrap up my special brand of crazy:

White will be the Final Gay because like the Backstreet Boys, "I want it that way."

Everyone deserves to die because Phi is a cop's kid, and if the cops are good for anything, it's covering up the truth, so let this work in our favor for once.

Drugs be drugging, and sometimes people will think of the boy they tried to kill when under the influence, but it's a toss up. Who can predict what a person will see? So, like, don't betray people and you won't hallucinate being stalked by your own guilt *cough* Judas *cough*

Oh, and always test your drugs.

I hope this helped you, but it probably didn't. Either way, I'll see you in the tags in a few hours after Non finally loses his shit.

Slay, Non, slay!

#dead friend forever #dead friend forever the series #I wrote what I wrote #I have theories for days #but it's all based on vibes

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sublimecatgalaxy · 1 year

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Ceilings

Pairing: Post-apocalypse!Joel Miller x Female!Reader

Warnings: Smutttt, 18+, swearing but overall this is really wholesome and heartbreaking and possibly my fav thing ever written, so much angsty vibes guys.

Word Count: 1.3k

Song: "Champagne Problems" by Taylor Swift and "Ceilings" by Lizzy McAlpine

Summary: The reader has to leave but Joel is willing to do anything and everyting to keep her in his arms for one more night, not wanting to be abandoned again like everyone else has left him. This is a request by @what-muses; "Female reader smut with Joel Miller and the prompt 'Make Me’."

It's lovely that I have the opportunity to be beside him, bodies curled against each other while we watch the plaster peel off the ceiling, soft rain drops hitting against the cracked window. It's a perfect day to be alone with him, the humid air swarming around us, warming our cold bodies that lay beneath the blankets.

He's so soft like this, bedsheets wrapped around him, his hands splaying across my hip as his lips attentively find a home on the column of my throat. He smells like aftershave and something woodsy, calloused skin feeling good against my own, his aura filling my mind like the most addictive drug.

How special am I to be able to see him in this environment, unlike his typical closed off, hateful, spiteful mood. He's not like that with me, not normally, instead taking on a more protective, caring, stern mood when he's curled up in bed with me but I know that there's still a darkness looming in and out of his mind.

When we first met at the QZ, I didn't know the extent of his pain or what he had been though. Anyone could've seen that he's been through a lot, more than most people and that's saying a lot considering nearly everyone was impacted by the cordyceps looming around, turning our loved ones into monsters.

But when him and I started to get closer and one night, over booze, he confessed to me that he had a daughter who quite literally died in his arms, the day of the fall, his birthday, I broke down with him. How could such a good man, an overall good person, go through that and not turn into a monster of a different form compared to the ones we're used to.

I found out about his brother a week later after Sarah.

He harbors guilt for Tommy, wondering if he was the reason that he left in the first place but anyone who knows Tommy knows that Tommy just seems to be a busy body, always getting involved in something new whether it be the military or the Fireflies.

But he left Joel, like Sarah did, though in different ways.

So what does that say about me?

I don't want to leave him in the morning, but I have to, abandoning the only arms I've ever called home. He doesn't know and he shouldn't have to know that he's losing me in the morning because I know his world will fall into chaos the minute he finds out that I'm leaving. Like everyone else has.

Feels like the start of a movie I've seen before, me leaving him, him leaving me, it's a back and forth nightmare where we don't know when the next time we'll kiss, when our movie will end permanently and the other person won't have closure.

But I have to go.

So for now, I'll soak in what I can, humming quietly as he rests his head on my bare chest, my fingers carding through his tangled locks in an attentive manner. His guitar is in the corner of the room, my eyes lifting to look at it every so often to memorize it just in case I need something to remember when I'm beyond the walls.

I map Joel's fingers, imagining them plucking at the strings and telling me about his daughter, how he got her a guitar when she was younger but she never used it so he picked it up out of spite to show her how easy it was for her to use.

I imagine that Sarah would be happy that he's with me, being constantly dotted on and taken care of, just how he should be. She'd like that he smiles now, that his eyes have softened and jaw has unclenched since her passing. He's told me that he's had no reason to be hopeful for the future until me, no reason to be afraid of losing himself since he's met me.

Since Sarah.

It makes leaving even harder.

"You're leaving aren't you?" Joel asks against my skin, lips brushing softly across my collarbone and I feel the stinging of tears rise to my eyes, frustration and anger towards myself swimming in my brain.

"How'd you know?" He looks up at me with soft eyes, no disappointment or anger behind his brown hues, not like I had expected them to be filled with. Instead it looks like he already knew, as if he assumed I wasn't here to stay and that thought makes my heart break. He always knew I was a flight risk.

"You're holding onto me tight." I can see the glass heart through his eyes shattering with every word that escapes him and I confirm his fears by holding onto him even tighter, worried that he'll leave me before I have the chance to leave him, our normal back and forth bullshit. "Tighter than normal."

"I just wanna be close to you." I find his lips, drinking in his taste as our lips part to accommodate the elephant in the room, my heart weighing heavily in my chest and I can't ignore the fear that this is the last time we'll get to be like this, to have the pleasure to soak in each others presence without behind worlds apart.

"You couldn't be any closer." He whispers against me, greedy yet soft hands urging my hips closer to his and I gasp, feeling his cock against my thigh, my head spinning at the feeling of him so close, wanting nothing but for him to slip inside of me, keeping me close to him and never letting me go.

The words die on the tip of my tongue; I miss you already, I want you, I need you, I can't live without you.

"I want to be." I wrap my arms around his neck, face pressed into the pillow as I throw one of my legs over his hip, moans drowning in the pillow and Joel hums.

"C'mere." His voice keeps me hanging on like a prayer, fingers carding through his hair as his cock finally slips into me with no effort, a small whimpered gasp escaping me at the feeling of being so full, like my missing puzzle piece, fitting perfectly into me, completely my broken edges. "Don't go." He begs, arms wrapping around my waist the best they can and my mind clouds over.

I'm pretty convinced that I'd do anything he'd ask me to when he's deep inside of me, thrusting lazily in and out of me and it makes my eyes spring with tears once more, knowing how desperately and pathetically I'm going to miss being this close to him.

"Joel."

"I never ask for anythin'." He mutters, kissing me sweetly once more and I feel my whole body tremble in his grasp, his hand cirling around my to fist some of my hair, pulling me chin upwards so he can press kiss against my throat, leaving bites in his wake. "Please just stay."

"Make me." I beg, giving into him, knowing in my heart that if I try to leave, it's going to be nearly impossible.

There's something that just happened, just now, something that shifted from what we were before into something new, a sense of wholeness filling us as he fills me and tears trail gently down my cheeks as I reach my peak, tumbling over the edge and pulling Joel with me. He groans loudly, finding my lips as he presses messy, heated kisses to my lips, unrelenting and heartbroken.

"If I had it my way, you'd never leave this bed." Joel whispers after a few moments, holding me tightly to him and not bothering to slip out of me as he gets comfortable, wanting nothing more than to keep me as close as humanly possible.

"Then don't let me."

#joel #joel miller #joel miller x reader #joel x reader #the last of us #the last of us fic

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sweetestpopcorn · 4 months

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How would you rank Jaehaerys and Alysanne’s children in terms of greatness/potential? For me, Baelon was best out their children with Saera being second. I also think Viserra was a waisted potential. I think she could have done interesting stuff had she lived. Do you think perhaps maybe Baelon should’ve married her after Alyssa’s death? Obviously, no one could replace Alyssa in his heart.

Hi there :)

I have already kind of answered this regarding my thoughts about Saera and Viserra and none of it is good. I will just link them here and here . Legit they are just portrayed as mean girls with no real depth to them, though of the two, Saera is much, much worse. Viserra I can at least sympathise with since her parents seem to not give half a f_ck about her and did not even extend to her the same courtesy they did her siblings of having a say about her marriage (more here), but that's about it. I don't find anything else likeable about her she's just... empty.

I will go from least favourite to favourite.

Saera and Viserra go right to the bottom of my list. Followed very closely by Vaegon by obvious reasons. Like Vaegon, it literally costs you 0 golden dragons to not be so unlikable.

Then I would say Daenerys, she has a lot of sweet moments but dies young so I don't really know how she would have turned out. Besides, I know it's petty of me, but I don't like other characters having Dany's name. I do like Daenerys, Naerys's daughter but... yeah no more. You don't need more Daenerys, we have our Mother of Dragons. Yes, I know I am petty.

Then Gael because... poor baby 🥺 seriously what was George thinking writing a character who is Alysanne's comfort, with some degree of cognitive disability be r...... by some random singer, give birth, lose her baby, and kill herself?! Like enough's enough. It's literally just to add tragedy to her story and honestly Turtle man it's getting f:cking OLD. I swear this man gets his rocks off by adding tragedy and terrible abuse to female characters. This when he can bother to make them more than a walking womb.

Then I would say Aemon. Maybe he would be higher but at times I just feel he's too perfect if that's a thing. There’s just nothing wrong with him like 😂 he literally does nothing wrong.

Daella comes next because I find her funny. She's such a drama queen 24/7 making everyone around her want to protect her XD even Alyssa. I kind of got the vibes at times from her that she kind of knew what she was doing to get attention. Like the fact that she and Alyssa are Rhaenyra's grandmothers just makes so much sense no matter how you look at it. In a way Rhaenyra seems kind of a mixture of both? With tons of stubborn and style added. Another moment that really endeared me to Daella was her very tragic death, and how despite all her suffering she still wanted to be given Aemma and to feed her. Prime mom material right there -> like you can tell both from her and Alyssa that Rhaenyra got some top notch mom genes.

Then Alyssa of course, because she was THE queen. Literally she was just a better behaved version of her son and I'm here for it! I love how despite the fact that she was clearly a tomboy she still wanted to marry Baelon and give him an army of kids X'D because these two things are not mutually exclusive and liking or enjoying traditional boy things does not have to say anything about your sexuality or your desire to be a mother - just like being very feminine and liking traditionally feminine activities does not have to say anything about your sexuality or desire to parent. These are rules a society that does not understand nuance and in a sense is deeply sexist and stereotypical likes to put in place and that I find deeply harmful to people. But Alyssa is the BOMB, so funny, so bold, the way she embarrassed Vaegon who was a little sh:t *chef's kiss*

Then there's the best man ever -> Baelon Targaryen

Had his own cool nickname, The Spring Prince, funny, charming, sexy, single dad who never once forgot about his lady with the mismatched eyes, entered a tourney under the name of the Silver Fool... I don't feel like a need to say more, and in an era where all men were literally so problematic, Baelon was IT.

Baelon is what this fandom thinks Corlys is. Sorry not sorry.

And that's it :D

Also no, and more important that should Baelon remarry, the question is did he want to remarry? And the answer is no, and any Baelon fan would respect the Spring Prince and his undying love for his lady with the mismatched eyes <3

#saera targaryen #viserra targaryen #vaegon targaryen #daenerys targaryen #gael targaryen #aemon targaryen #daella targaryen #alyssa targaryen #baelon targaryen #fire and blood #valyrianscrolls #popcorn answers

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dontjudgemeimawriter · 3 months

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OC in 15

Tagged byy @thegreatobsesso (through my main)

Rules: Share 15 or fewer lines of dialogue from an OC, ideally lines that capture the character/personality/vibe of the OC. Bonus points for just using the dialogue without other details about the scene, but you're free to include those as well!

(to Raymond) “Your careful and my careful are different things.”

(to Mika, about Raymond) "He might end up hating me, but what keeps him safe and alive is none of what he’s told you getting out. To the police or the Syndicate.”

(to Raymond) "I know you don’t like the spell, but I don’t even know who [I am without the focus spell] okay? I’ve been focusing since I let you go. You don’t want the person from before that.”

Context: Raymond and Terran are talking about why Terran let Jesse live, and also why Terran had in the past let Raymond live/saved his life.

Raymond: “Everyone’s real.”

“Yeah, but you taught me that. Everyone who did feel real to me back then saw everyone else the same way I had. Maybe it was partially because you seemed to care, unlike anyone else did, but ultimately, I think that was it. You were real. So maybe all it took was talking to Jesse for him to be real to me. And I don’t know if that helps, because maybe you’re right that it should be everyone, or maybe it would be better if it’d come from something you said or did…”

(to Raymond) “Focusing isn’t why I worry about things. Do you just not like me telling you what to do?”

(I'm going to count this as dialogue. It's a thought passed from Terran to Raymond that, as thoughts are, is a little jumbled:)

Tried to (can’t move) found Jodi, tried to free her (stuck) caught— failed— (The Judge) Mika was here, gave them something— mistake— Judge using me to bargain (care about me?)— can’t move— don’t do what they want.

(to Mika) "You and Raymond were so good at knowing what the right thing to do is. I watch you do all this and see how much you hate it, because you know it’s wrong. But I’ve only known that based on you guys’s example.”

(The actual dialogue here is 100% not true. But him lying here imo is a big part of his character. Basically, Terran needs to convince Alex that he isn't a threat, and recently Zachary advised Terran that Alex would exploit him caring about people. His denial here, him lying, in a way, really is about how much he does care. Also, I think it says a lot about him that he can and will solidly deny things like this in order to protect those he cares about. He's basically claiming that he doesn't care if Raymond lives, it was more about rebelling against Zachary than anything else. He ha also stated recently, in his thoughts, that to him, "freedom" is just being with Raymond)

“I want to leave. I want to quit.” I said, turning back to [Alex]. “Disobeying Zachary by letting Raymond live wasn’t the best way to go about it, I admit. But now he’s gotten me what I wanted. And you get what you want out of him. That was the deal you guys had, right? I’m not a threat to you because once this transaction is finished, I have what I wanted. Freedom.”

(to Mika) “I already know enough [about my parents' death]. I appreciate learning about them in the journal, I’d be willing to learn more about who they were, but not this. I don’t want to know how they died. Zachary has taught me a million way to kill someone and he knows a million more. I don’t want to know which one it was.”

10.

(to Rayymond) “I’m constantly disappointing you. I’m always doing the wrong thing, the only difference is lately I’m finding excuses. I’m terrified of Alex paralyzing me again. But when I say you should leave without me, it’s what I owe not just you, but everyone— because I’ve always been sacrificing others for myself, haven’t I? Not even for my own life, just for…approval. The only difference lately is that you’ve become a part of who I’ll sacrifice others for, except you don’t want me to do that, and even if I try I don’t know how to do it. Even if I was ever able to leave, I can’t escape myself— everything I’ve done and everything I still want to do. And maybe we’ll all better off if you and Mika can escape and I’ll no longer be able to—“

I'll leave it there, since it said 15 of fewer, many of these are long, and I'm catching up to where I am. This was a lot of fun, and I definitely want to do this again for Raymond and Mika. I kinda wonder if I can even do it with Zachary. Please feel free to tag me again on this XD.

It's definitely difficult doing a POV character who's so often hiding things. I knew going in that this would most show up when he's talking to Raymond. But going through I saw some Very Raymond lines and Very Mika lines, and I think I talk more about Terran's character here, but I would like to pick out the lines that show the other characters whose only ways of showing their character is their dialogue (and actions).

Tagging @sleepy-night-child @squarebracket-trick @enbydragon02 (ik you might not be far enough in anything for this so you can just look XD) and @drippingmoon

#syndicate #terran #oc in 15 #oc in 15 tag

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bloodymiinded · 4 months

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── ( ruby cruz. non binary, they/he/she. ) ＊︰ eli vass. chiron often praises their sharp-eyed temperament, but mr. d's always going on about how they can be pretty short-tempered.

AM I A TROUBLED KID? YOU COULD SAY THAT.

that comes as no surprise, knowing that they've been at camp now for nine years and they turned twenty-two this year. they're always humming barracuda by heart when they're on strawberry picking duty, and people around here can always tell they're a child of ares because of their double shiners and a split lip. during capture the flag, i saw them using odikinesis and necromancy — it totally makes sense that their godly parent claimed them after raising dead campers in a fit of rage. the entire camp knows them to carry a celestial bronze-tipped javelin, and no matter who you ask, they'll tell you el reminds them of heels pushing back into the dirt and dust, a recoil before the hammer drop ; a bandana too slick with sweat and blood to hold anything back ; jumps too short to stick the landing ; the vibrato of a handle sunk to the hilt in wood. thank gods they're around now that the mist is parting.

tldr. eli brings a sort of 'jesters played a vital role in waging psychological warfare' vibe to the ares cabin that the other campers don't really like.

01. demigods are not creatures to often beget humble beginnings, and in this eli vass makes no exception. they are, as it's said, born screaming, and largely stayed that way. he doesn't like to talk about it. rather, she'll talk on and on about just anything else — ask twice on the circumstances that brought eli to the edge of camp and you'll get three different answers, the truth somewhere between.

02. the essential details, to spare you the pulling of teeth: eli is born not an only child, as so many are, but half of a set. twins, fraternal. anyone's guess which ares had fathered. that's the thing about gods, isn't it? they can never help themselves, always bound to act in their nature, again and again, knots in a tapestry of the same story. a woman carries twins, and the godly father makes a game of it. only one is mine, he says. a real castor and pollux situation, he doesn't. only one is mine, he says, and leaves. only one is mine, he says, and the three of them never again know peace.

03. it wasn't supposed to be eli. sweet, sensitive, eli. born screaming, but also born small and slight, born second and cowering behind her better half. born with one hand around his brother's wrist. it wasn't supposed to be eli, under the table with her head between her knees, running from fights before they even started. it wasn't supposed to be eli. the universe's biggest cosmic joke, even the monsters were surprised. they smelled the demigod, sure, but on the boy with his shoulders squared and chin turned upwards. not on the poor thing screaming. oh, eli, born screaming. imagine everyone's surprise when the demigod dies, and it isn't a demigod at all.

04. like most, eli crests the hill of camp half-blood clutching to her life by its threads. unlike most, eli already knows his father and hates his game. like most, they're still bound by the rules and hermes cabin until everything goes exactly the right way of wrong. the jokes come and go, always, but the anger never leaves. it's what ares loves most about her, eli must think. the anger and rage he's cultivated like a weed in the garden, so perfectly at war with herself.

05. hatred for a god never goes anywhere, eli's learned. they all have. that kind of inward anger will eat you alive, so he turns it out, all sharp-tongue and sharp-eyes, edges and jabs and jests. never take anything seriously, and it doesn't matter. it doesn't, it doesn't. it does.

WANTED CONNECTIONS

'sparring' partner. call it what you like, but eli is more or less their punching bag. and honestly? it's probably more than well deserved. alternatively, they take turns talking shit and beating each other to a pulp. friendship <3

day one rivals. whatever happened that first day either one of them got to camp (whoever arrived most recently, likely), neither of them have even remotely gotten over it. whether it was a single slight that became a grudge, or many building now over the years, it's a wound neither of them hesitates rubbing salt in at the first opportunity.

ride or die. as it says on the tin. whether or not it's wanted, deserved, warranted, and especially called for , eli would take a bullet for them. please, let him take a bullet, or at least a knife, for them.

i'll cut your throat, that'll shut you up / you're beautiful. need i say more.

#intro

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shinigamer-136649 · 11 months

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The Reapers' Backstories

I'm sure that most know that the reapers' backstories are HIGHLY anticipated (at least on here), but I've always wondered how that would come into play. And... I've had an idea, but I'm not sure how much I like it. I don't know if anyone has talked about this before (sorry if you have), but the way I think the reaper's backstories will be revealed is...

Cinematic Records.

Which obviously comes with some alarming prospects considering just how one is able to view these records (unless there is a library of them like in the anime) - by getting injured, or, to view the complete record, killed.

The reapers have already shown themselves to be heavily involved with the plot of Black Butler, whether it be the need to subdue the demon walking around with no consequences or the threat of the dispatch deserter running free and obscuring the line between life and death. There's no chance that they all get out of this unscathed with the desperate strings of the web of conflict ensnaring everyone.

Here's my drawing of part of said web in ms paint which I feel may have ruined the vibe of this post but it's fine

I'm also not sure why some of the reapers would, in the story, want / need to share their backstory. I could maybe see if Sascha were to share theirs, and Othello's and Undertaker's will likely be revealed, but why would people such as Grell, Ronald, or William share theirs? I don't think they're going to be going around sharing the details of their suicide to everyone unless the situation really demands it - or if their sharing is unwilling.

Black Butler is not light on violence, and there's not many characters unwilling to resort to it. Undertaker will do pretty much anything to protect the Phantomhives, one of whom just so happens to be a Bizarre Doll, who aren't exactly welcomed by the Shinigami. However, Sebastian also finds it his duty to fight the Undertaker and Real Ciel, making the reapers either a potential ally, or, as we've seen twice before, a nuisance.

Although they may be forced to team up (considering the only hit Undertaker has ever taken in the series was from Grell and Sebastian working together, and even that barely made contact), the reapers and Sebastian have shown a mutual distrust toward each other. Once they get rid of their prime threat, they're going to go after each other. And where does that leave us? Where we started, with reapers getting injured and records spilling, possibly even before Undertaker is defeated.

(Plus, I find it unlikely Undertaker is the main villain of the whole series. Maybe all three of these forces will have to align, or they might even need a god's power if their foe is an angel or other supernatural entity... but that's a post for another day.)

Essentially, we can safely assume that reapers are going to get injured, and since there have been some very entertaining "hooks" so to speak about their backstories (Chapter 105 Sascha my beloved)... I wouldn't be surprised if, in a few years, we're going to be in Book of Flashbacks part 2

Even the possibility of non-shinigami using death-scythes isn't out of the question - they don't seem to be only physically able to be used by reapers, since we've seen Sebastian and Layla wield them. In fact, speaking of Layla, in chapter 191, we see this:

Layla has a death-scythe, or at least something so similar to one that it shares the same properties. I wouldn't be surprised if this metal ends up more widely distributed over the course of the series - it provides a huge advantage to whoever has it.

In conclusion (listen what else am i supposed to say to finish this)

Reapers such as Will, Grell, and Ronald likely wouldn't have an in-story reason to share their backstories as this would likely be. not a good experience for them

However, we have gotten a few "hooks" dropped about them.

One way to put these into the story would be the Cinematic Records of the shinigami.

This makes sense because there is already a lot of conflict between Undertaker, Sebastian, and the reapers which will almost certainly lead to bloodshed at some point

We also know that death-scythes are becoming more widely distributed, so even if, say, the Undertaker is defeated by Sebastian and the reapers, it's not implausible that Sebastian could get his hands on a death scythe.

Not gonna lie I hope I'm wrong on this one I'm going to cry if any of the reapers end up dying.

#kuroshitsuji #black butler #o!ciel #r!ciel #sebastian michaelis #grell sutcliff #grelle sutcliff #undertaker #ronald knox #william t spears #sascha black butler #othello black butler #character analysis #ms paint #you know i thought this was going to be short at first my bad everyone

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adolin-is-best-boy · 2 years

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ranking four queer stranger things ships on how likely i think they are to become cannon!

Ships in question: ronance, byler, jargyle, steddie

from least likely to most likely

note: i’m more focusing on the thematic and meta stuff to determine whether it gonna happen or not

4. Jargyle

i mean, it’s cute, but there is very little evidence for this happening. the only reason i could see the writers doing it would be to give jonathan another love interest after a likely jancy breakup. I mean, neither of them seem the most straight to me, but not in a way that makes it seem that their relationship could be anything more than platonic. besides, if half of the ships on this list end up being canon, when you add it to the other canon ships, then adding jargyle would really make it a bit cramped in the romance department

3. Ronance

the chemistry is there! nancy and robin are looking at eachother in those posters, the same way all the other (basically) canon ships are. it might be a thing relating to getting the other person unvecna’d, but then it’s kinda weird that jopper is doing it. also, i feel like nancy being queer could also lead to some actual sibling bonding with you-know-who. good vibes here all around, plus it’s one of my favorite w/w ships ever!

however, there are some things that make me less sure it’ll happen. first of all, vickie. the only reasons i see robin and vickie not happening is A. vickie dies (lame), or B. vickie doesn’t like girls (unlikely). from the way it’s been building up it’s nigh impossible some sort of romantic confrontation (or something like that) between them won’t happen, and it would be kinda weird if it was built of that robin liked vickie only for her to end up with nancy, unless vickie dies, which would be not very cool (but i could see happening in vol 2).

second of all, i have a feeling nancy is gonna die, if not in vol2 then in season 5. but that’s an entire other post, so i won’t say much else. i’d really like this ship to happen, but i won’t be surprised if it doesn’t.

2. Steddie (bisexual steve)

steddie just makes sense for a lot of reasons! steve having an arc where he realizes he’s bisexual has been set up SO well, it works perfectly with his character, it would be a shame if it were wasted. eddie is heavily gay/queer coded, making it perfect for steve to realize things about himself. plus, it would be perfect for the kids to have someone they already look up to be queer, and make them more comfortable with themselves. im about 75% sure that steve is bisexual.

the only problem here is that eddie has some massive death flags in vol2. i really don’t want this to happen, but i can’t ignore the signs. but if he DOES survive vol2, then i believe it’s extremely likely we’ll get steddie in s5. if he doesn’t live, then it’s possible that steve could end up with jonathan, bc of the likely jancy breakup and the fact that it would be poor writing if stancy got back together. i think we’ll for sure see some queer steve stuff in s5.

1. Byler

it’s happening 100%. i have never been this confident in a queer ship (or any ship for that matter) before. i am so confident in byler happening that i am going to schedule a post on july 1st celebrating it. there is no doubt in my mind. too me it’s so obvious it’s happening that i feel like it’s redundant to explain to anybody who’s seen the show why. there are so many reasons (both external and internal) why byler is going to happen that im not even going to list them, just watch the show.

the question is not IF byler is happening, but WHEN byler is happening. In my opinion it would be better if they are established by the end of vol2, not only to haze out the homophobes early, but to give the relationship time to grow so we can see them as a fully fledged couple in s5 before it ends. there are other reasons, but those are the main ones. however i could also see the writers not having them get together yet, and only confirm that they both have feelings for eachother so they can get together early/mid s5 and we can watch them navigate a new relationship and what it means.

———

okay im done, let me know what y’all think

Edit: I fucking hate it here

Edit 2: never mind im gaining hope again

#byler #steddie #steve x jonathan #ronance #jargyle #bisexual steve harrington #st vol 2 #stranger things vol2 theory

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thefallennightmare · 3 months

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Chapter 21 oh my goodness! What an incredible chapter. Angel’s development and coming into her own, from the situation with Trey, and then even opening up with her therapist and ACTUALLY confronting the issues of running away and asking for help on how to actually address the problem spoke VOLUMES… because instead of once again running away from it, although a bit hesitant, she still took that step forward and asked for help. Then Angel’s entire demeanor during the interview. Her inner strength and self worth shined SO much in this chapter and it truly warms my heart that all of the outpouring love and support from everyone around her, Malcom, Chase, The BO boys & roomies, Joe, and of course Noah, have all contributed and awoken Angel and helped her realize that not only does she love all these people around her so much, but they also made her start to realize she loves herself and that she’s worthy of so much more then what she settled on and put up with in the past. I am so proud of Angel and I know that these are just the stepping stones of her really coming into herself and starting to break down all those walls she put up from all the trauma she’s had to go through.

Also, the daily texts of her and Noah… to just remind each other that they love each other. Something so small but also SO meaningful. And THAT TEXT FROM NOAH during the interview?!?!! MY GOD 🥵 and Angel’s texts to Noah 🥵 Her photos she sent to him, again just really gave that feeling of her coming into her own. From being in a relationship with someone who tore her down constantly and made her hide herself completely and cover up her entire body… to now her putting on sexy clothes to show herself off, taking sexy SELFIES like, yeah I’m a hot ass bitch and let me show Noah exactly what I got and what’s his, I am absolutely LIVING for Angel’s energy. I love that she has entered this main character state and is giving the vibe of “I’m in the drivers seat now” 😉 She’s no longer running, instead she’s fully pushing on the driver pedal and no longer hitting the breaks.

Also, the texts and conversations between Joe and Noah. I love that Noah knows and trusts Angel and didn’t even have any second thoughts or doubts at all about Joe and Angel’s friendship. The fact that Joe wanted to reach out to Noah and talk to him to share with him Angel’s growth and strength while being on tour. Gave such big brother vibes and again, I just really love this amazing support system Angel has. All of these people who surround her who love her so much and have really helped her learn to love herself.

Also, Nick’s texts to Angel and calling her Cinderella 🥹 oh my heart. And then Noah spoiling Salem and buying him all the toys and and oversized cat bed 😂 man needs a #1 Cat Dad shirt. AND the touch with the name tag… like are you kidding me?!🥹 SO sweet and then adding the symbols onto Salem’s name tag from TDOPOM… also such a sweet touch. I love how much Noah loves Salem 😭 truly the best bro’s ever.🖤

AND the video Noah sent Angel of him singing The Grey OH MY GOD. Noah sending that text to Angel and calling her sexy and telling her he’s gonna spend the rest of the night thinking of her bossing him around… like YES I AM LIVING FOR THIS SEXUAL TENSION and them TELLING each other exactly what’s on their minds FINALLY. This chapter was SO freaking amazing in every single way. I just love these characters all so much. I’m SO excited for chapter 22. And Nick telling Angel to wear red 😏 like okayyyyy I see you Nick. God just so many good little things all sprinkled through out this chapter. You both truly are so fucking talented and your writing is unlike anything else.

Sorry this was so long, I just had so much I wanted to talk about because there were SO many good and exciting things that happened this chapter. I seriously cannot wait for this next chapter because I KNOW it’s gonna be amazing. Especially with all this sexual tension built up between Angel & Noah from her being on tour, the texts they’ve sent back and forth, Angel sending her sexy selfies to Noah, and now they’re seeing each other in person after all of those events 🥵🥵 God I can’t wait for what’s to come! Thank you both as always for fucking FEEDING us a whole ass buffet this chapter. I’m gonna be going back for seconds, thirds, and 200’s from all the rereading that’s about to take place. Just when I think it can’t get any better, you both drop another fucking banger chapter and blow it out the park. 👏🏻👏🏻

Omg anon, can I just say it was like you knew Sarah and I were feeling so down because this message came at a great time!

You caught 99.9 percent of EVERYTHING. Our hearts are so so full. Thank you. We love you 🖤

Here’s a treat for you.

@thescarlettvvitch

#just pretend noah sebastian #tina and sarah talks #tina talks #noah sebastian

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absolutebl · 2 years

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This Week in BL - An Overload of Cute

July 2022 Wk 4

Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs. Organized by which ones (in each category) I’m enjoying the most.

Ongoing Series - Thai

Triage (grey) Ep 13 fin - Sing & Gap turned out to be the true heroes of this story. I liked Triage a lot, I thought the plot was good if a little redundant and occasionally exhausting. The pairs were all well done, low heat but with decent chemistry, and the support characters were likable (or unlikable as required). I feel much as a did with Manner of Death, which is to say: this feels less BL than it does gay romantic suspense. If anything, the romance arc detracted and distracted from the main plot. However, I’m into BL for the romance and the rewatchability, and this had very little of either, so I’m giving this: 7/10 RECOMMENDED WITH RESERVATIONS, but I rate it knowing this is going on many people’s best of the year lists, and I totally understand why. Full review here. This author has another BL in the works (the one with Fluke but no Ohm) titled Make a Wish which seems to be a lighter medical fantasy about a doctor who can see ghosts. I’m looking forward to it.

Vice Versa (Sat on YouTube) Ep 3 - The show is a little bit confusing but it’s very engaging (and I don’t mind having to suspend my disbelief while the characters figure out the world-building, I come out of SF/F so this feels natural to me). We are on ep 3 and they’re already in the bath together? GMMTV what has happened to you? I’m shocked I tell you. Shocked. (Also delighted, of course.) Am I the only one really enjoying VV? Maybe, but I am really enjoying it. I should remind you all that magical realism is one of my favorite sub genres of BL. I recently re-watched Color Rush and yes, it is still one of my favorites of all time.

Love Mechanics (Sun WeTV) Ep 6 - One of the few Thai BL‘s that’s still working for me right now, and it shouldn’t be. What can I say? YinWar win the Great 2022 Chemistry in Bad BL Wars (TM) 2022, even over BounPrem. Vee is an arse. It was very satisfying to watch Mark punch him (I rewound 3x). Might be one of my favorite moments of the week. Mark standing up for himself at last was great, but he should’ve broken up with Vee for at least one ep. You know I want my semes to SUFFER.

Coffee Melody (Mon Viki) Ep 2 - Aside from very Thai pacing (read: SLOW AF) this show almost has a Korean feel to it (in the Behind Cut vein). Jean is MINE, I love him so much. I’m not wild about the lead though. (I keep getting Sunoo of Enhyphen vibes off him, is that just me?) Frankly, this show is v pretty but a bit boring, even Pavel in an apron isn’t saving it for me. But I’ll keep watching for this sparkle:

Unforgotten Night (Weds on GaGa) Ep 5-6 - It’s just terrible. TRASH WATCH (up to ep 4) IS HERE!

Check Out (Sat IQIYI) Ep 7-8 - The amusement park date that never ends. I watch this show 1.5x speed and I’m still skipping through most of it. It got somewhat pleasingly traumatic in the last five minutes, but I could not care less. That’s (prequel) ep 0 was so good and I wish that was all we ever got. The fact that the rest of this series has failed to live up the promise of that debut reminds me a bit of that first KP Trailer. Yes, I said it. I think I might DNF. (And I’m now really worried about Bed Friends.)

Even Sun (Wed iQIYI) Ep 4-5 - I am so bored with this show. Just give us Between Us. We’re tired of all this other nonsense. If it weren’t almost done I’d DNF.

My Secret Love (Sat YouTube Sat) Ep 9 - I am skipping everything that doesn’t have the Tim storyline in it. Also Pete is great, forthright and clear and sweet. I don’t believe his bad reputation. Anyone else keep thinking that the actor playing Tim would’ve made a great Dr Pha in 2 Moons 2? Just me?

New Thai BL universals rule?

Story arcs with characters named Pete are always good.

Despite an influx of new shows in August I am feeling the sudden inexplicable urge to rewatch Make it Right. Huh.

His tongue! Come ON Shin, let some of us live, even if you can’t extend that grace to Minato.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Minato Shouji Coin Laundry (Japan Weds GaGa) Ep 5 - I like this show so much I started a SQUEE WTACH ALONG (because it’s not a trash watch but requires so much thought and analysis). So I’ll stop overloading the weekly recaps here. So this week, there was an attempted make-out, a side dish manifested (yes, we love this for Asuka), and nothing has progressed but I am still fucking over the moon over this darn BL.

Want to See You (Vietnam YT) Ep 10 - Look Bah Vinh just gives great sex scenes. It’s funny how many mismatches in chemistry we get out of Thailand, and this boy pretty much has good chemistry with anybody he acts opposite. I don’t know how he does it, but I am impressed. Did anything really happen in this episode? Nope. Does anything ever really happen in the show? Nope. Are they serving up prime domesticity? Of course they are. This is Vietnam, you get what you pay for.

Senpai, Danjite Koidewa! (Japan Fri Viki) Ep 6 - It was a fun confession and a sweet if chaste kiss. But I don’t think I’m ever gonna like this show very much. It’s OK but the premise makes me uncomfortable. I look forward to the flash forward a year next ep, hopefully the uke has developed a backbone and gotten over his hero worship.

In Case You Missed It

Gameboys 2 is on GaGa now... for some, not me, tho.

Semantic Error the movie (a repackage with extra content) is being rolled out into actual theaters first (Korea, Taiwan, and Japan so far). So unlike the other Viki movies, we will have to wait for it. Hopefully not FOREVER like Cherry Magic.

Love of Siam stars, Mario (in the same shirt as the movie) and Pchy, reunited in an equal rights event in the middle of Siam Square. Love of Siam released in 2007 (Nov 22 will be its 15th anniversary). It’s wildly considered Thailand’s first BL.

About Youth dropped a trailer finally, it looks SO GOOD! Like Taiwan’s Love Sick. This is one I’ll be motivated to track down.... somehow.

Viki dropped the movie versions of Oh! Boarding House (review here) and Ocean Likes Me (review here).

They also got and are distributing (to USA) DNA Says Love You which I adore and highly recommended (so if you missed it on GaGa go watch it on Viki, push through the first 3 eps, it’s WORTH IT, I promise.)

Gossip

2023 Thai fundraising teaser dropped for a SF dystopian BL Wish You Luck from Studio Commuan (new to me, they have another one coming next month: SELF the series) about a luck-stealer and an optimistic innocent trying to survive after a meteorite global destroyer. Stars Tonnam (Dr Sing in Triage) and Title (our beloved baby Nut from the Yearbook). Normally I don’t report on teasers but I LOVE THIS IDEA. Tropes include: sci-fi, dystopian, survivor, paranormal, country setting, tsundere/sunshine. trailer. (Not to be confused with Wish Me Luck which is about office workers.)

@bluesandfilms reported in that the leads from Taiwanese BL Plus and Minus (review here) seem to be IRL dating. Warning: Their show has ended but they are both still doing promo. I checked their respective IGs (@.chenghao.shih and @.bbalin1000) and they look like an actual couple, but they are still tagging their couples’ shots with the show’s hashtag so... suspicious. Then again, actors are always ON. Anygay, I don’t read Mandarin, someone can confirm for me if they like. No formal statement has been issued from their agencies, but it’s Taiwan, they don’t haffa do any of this. I’m not being anti, just cautious. If they are together I wish them more success than most actor relationships. Also I *think* this would be the first gay couple to come out of a BL, are we surprised it’s Taiwan?

Adventures in Miss Captioning

Been a while since I had one of these.

“You don’t need to poke your face so close.” Technically the words used and placed are correct but also no one would actually say this in English. Except me now.

Next Week Looks Like This:

War of Y starts Tuesday on AISPLY and/or GMT+8 YouTube. COPY A BANGKOK brings us 20 episode of Cheewin’s nonsense starring the boys from Y-Destiny and SCOY. If it’s easy to get hold of Stateside I’ll watch it but otherwise, I’m not fussed.

On Cloud Nine (8 eps) a country-set atmospheric series from MindTrio starts Saturday. No idea on distribution, but since it looks sad I am, again, not fussed.

21 Days Theory (8 eps) a high school BL from Rookie Thailand that looks to be high angst, messy, cheating, and a secret crush, starring Bever (En of Love: TOSSARA, The Best Story, Love Mechanics) and Tee (The Cupid Coach) starts Sunday. Probubly airing on Rookie Thailand’s YT channel.

I have a list of all the BLs coming in August here.

This week’s best moments?

Calling all us out, sheesh (Love Mechanics).

Jean (Coffee Melody) my PRECIOUS CHILD who I love for ever and MUST protect.

Side dishes in Unforgotten Night giving the show, and me, life.

Don’t look so innocent, Shin, we all know what’s going on in that pretty head now, don’t we? (Minato’s Laundromat)

Gotta stan the confident gay (My Secret Love).

What can I say? (Vice Versa)

Want to See You bringing the neck kisses. Thank you.

(last week)

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ichorblossoms · 27 days

Text

okay, bear with me as i try to articulate a mess of thoughts and vibes into coherent words here

part of what's so compelling to me about p2 of honeybee is that it's the only real span of time in-story that grimm and yarrow get together that's (mostly) devoid of some sort of extreme circumstance, and it forces them both to work on their own issues with intimacy but the thing is both of them have a a belief that they don't deserve the love they're given and default strategy of avoidance and that they can and do resort to, but at the cost of hurting the other

actually this got long so i'm putting this under a cut. ig cw bc i talk abt sex but nothing explicit

grimm is, for understandable reasons given their past, scared of attachment, more people you love means more you lose means more of yourself that's vulnerable means devotion you don't know how far you'll go for. so when it feels itself beginning to love yarrow again, it gets antsy and restless because it feels wrong but good but also like a death sentence but also like a new life and it knows it can't just give yarrow all of those feelings because what is yarrow going to do about that if grimm doesn't even know what to do? and so it runs away, or leaves yarrow's bed to sleep in the other room, or hovers in the doorway without coming in.

they also don't really see themself as A Human Person and have only really known either a solitary life of drifting or resolute loyalty to someone who only has selfish interests in mind, therefore it doesn't know how to live this sort of...domestic life and it didn't even think it wanted that until yarrow showed it that comfort is something grimm can have. but even if it knows it can have it, grimm still has a lto fo grief becuase it doesn't feel like it, an animal with blood on its hands, could ever do anything to deserve that, and that also feeds the restlesness and desire to run away, even when it knows it will only feel worse for doing so

yarrow's issues are more of a result of just being jaded with romantic relationships. he's consistently put in more effort with his partners than he has received in turn and is kind of fighting not to fall in love again because he doesn't want to endure yet another heartbreak, least of all with the person who left him to fuck off for five years (grimm does feel guilty about that and that fuels some of its self-punishment too). there's also subtle rejection/transphobia from past partners in the mix affecting his self-esteem, but more on that in a min. despite all that, he's softhearted and finds it difficult to fight his own feelings because he can't help but having some hope that just maybe, the past won't repeat itself and even though grimm left, they also came back like they promised. kinda just "i am doomed to give more than i can ever take and i don't know how much i have left to give, but i will do so anyways because i don't know how else to exist"

unlike grimm, they refuse to shut people out or close themself off, so it's not entirely obvious that he has any of these issues until most of grimm's problems have been confronted. yarrow also keeps that sort of stuff very close to their chest, so realistically i'm not sure how much anyone but grimm would find that out either

so you have grimm, who wants to just, be a person and live this life with yarrow, but it doesn't know how to do any of this and fucks up a lot in the process. and naturally, grimm doing shit like running off again (and coming back by that evening, but still) and constantly pulling away from affection makes yarrow feel like shit. even though he knows he has nothing to do with what grimm's going through, it's still setting off his rsd while he's trapped in this dilemma of "i have no reason to kick grimm out or cut things off and i genuinely love this person but at the same time they're indirectly hurting me and reopening old wounds." like sure, communicating does fix their problems to an extent, but it's mostly just like, time and patience, which makes it actually kind of tricky for me to accurately put a time frame of p2 until i actually finish writing things

and ALSO, because of how they do and don't deal with their various problems, this fascinating sort of switch happens between the two of them as they actually, finally settle into something they're happy to call a relationship and feel comfortable enough to have sex. where grimm WAS the one to punish itself and deny things mostly out of fear of being hurt, it isn't as much when it comes to sex (ofc they still do for above reasons, and trying to talk about it is mortifying at times bc it's still yarrow they want to fuck and taking off their clothes means not hiding that they're humod) but because they've had hookups and casual sex with people before there's an element of, "well i've already submitted to the mortifying ordeal of being known, it's not like showing you my dick is going to make anything worse". meanwhile yarrow, who has been pretty open and affectionate up until now is like "i'm stone and do not want to be touched during sex". kinda elaborated on some of this stuff here back in sept but there's been some development..? now yarrow is not actually stone per se (and my using of the term may change bc i don't want to invalidate ppl who are actually stone by having a character misusing the term), but has convinced themself that they feel enough sexual gratification through their partners to avoid confronting the fact that no one has made yarrow's pleasure a priority, instead they've internalized that as "while i am not disgusted with what i am, my body is fucking weird to everyone else and no one will actually find what i am attractive". so now GRIMM is the one who has to deal with desire and the rejection of those desires.

they're verse4verse so it's like, fine for awhile. eventually that comes to a head and they get over things and settle the fuck down but MAN it takes them a lot to get there. basically with how i envision honeybee, there are several plot-relevant sex scenes bc it's impossible to disentangle that from the wider developments the two of them have irt to intimacy and just. human connection and whatnot

but yeah all in all they're both products of their environments and relationships, and it's really fun to play with how they really do want to love each other, but there's a lot of pain they cause one another before they actually get to settle into something that's comfortable and fulfilling for the two of them, and that's JUST part 2. we're not even factoring in what happens after grimm's past and decisions come back to fuck things over for the both of them tee hee

#does this make sense? i don't know. i hope it does bc they are in my brain. so much. this was like an exorcism i think #they just make me. A.#putting the dog to sleep by the antlers the song that you are #no one should ever call me a fast writer bc it took me like three hours to type this post OTL #wait i just checked it's 1.2k words. hi <3 normal #if you see typos just ignore them. unless it's incoherent in that case please ask me to clarify bc i Will. lord knows i will #honeybee #rambles #grimmyarrow #grimm #yarrow

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whatisshelties · 3 months

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Did I talk about how when I volunteered at an NACSW event, there were "NACSW" people shit talking AKC? Like saying it's so easy and the people in the area haven't trained their dogs good enough for NACSW because they all do AKC.

I was like wow, what a great inviting atmosphere. :)))) Gave me vibes of people ragging on NADAC for being "too easy" because they got rid of equipment and the courses aren't technical.

They're hosting an ORT locally in May, and I will finally cave and join NACSW. Overall, I think I like the organization better as far as their searches, odor concentration (AKC is like stupid high amounts of oil on those swabs. Why 2 drops? Why not just one if you're going to do it that way?), judges being allowed to offer an off leash option in any level. But the superiority complex of certain long time members might get on my nerves. Oh, and the 'You've got to travel beyond day trip distance if you wanna play seriously,' attitude.

Like I'm so ready to be out of AKC events (again), with scent work as the exception. I haven't found that the people are nasty (unlike agility :))). It's more flexible and available than anything else. It caters to a more casual player, which at this moment in time, I am. I don't have the means to go chasing dog sport titles right now. NACSW seems like more of a commitment. (Especially with that yearly membership fee to play. Nobody else does that that I know of.)

I think my biggest beefs with various agility organizations has been equipment spec or safety based. Like right now it's how there really aren't height breaks for the tallest dogs. There's been contact surfaces/slats, a-frame apex height. I've gotten to the point where it's like...course styles are a taste thing for everyone. I don't care for technical stuff, but I'm not going to shit all over it anymore as long as the equipment is safe and people take their dogs physical capabilities into consideration when asking for it.

That's probably my other biggest beef with agility now days, and I think it's more prevalent in some organizations than others. People don't honestly assess their dog's physical ability and will ask them for more than the dog is capable of. I think in organizations like NADAC and CPE where people are supposedly "less competitive" they are at least more likely to take the optional height breaks. CPE already has very lax cut offs, so maybe it's not even necessary in a lot of cases there.

Like I'm not saying you can't critique organizations, because they certainly all have shortcomings, but taking personal jabs at handlers and making judgments like "that org is just easier" is not a great look.

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adobe-outdesign · 2 years

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(Part 2)

First, gotta mention this because someone else will if I don’t: Victini appears at the front of the Unovan pokedex and has a ‘dex number of #000. Why am I bringing this up at the beginning of the review? I dunno, why is Victini at the beginning of the pokedex? These questions and more will not be answered.

Anyway, I do like Victini, for reasons I’ll get into in a moment... but I’ll admit, it never really felt like a mythical to me. I feel like legendaries need to fit in one of three categories: A) they look powerful, B) they have cryptid vibes, or C) they’re just a little messed up. Victini is pretty normal, it doesn’t really give off cryptid vibes (like, I can’t see this as a vague blur caught on video for half a second), and it’s pretty normal. In all honestly, if you handed this to me out-of-context and told me it was the final fire-type starter evo, I’d believe you. That doesn’t make it bad, but I do question if the design couldn’t have been used for a regular Pokemon instead.

The lore does fit, at least, with it able to create a limitless amount of energy in its body. I’ve heard some argue that Victini is supposed to represent a nuke, due to it appearing in Unova (Manhattan), creating limitless energy, the V for victory thing (which has war origins), etc. However, I personally doubt this was intentional. Pokemon is a Japanese game, and the bombings were a massive tragedy; unsurprisingly, Japan does not take them lightly, and I find it hard to believe a Japanese company would make a fun nuke Pokemon for kids to play with. (Plus it doesn’t line up with how the ‘dex says it can share the energy.)

What it is definitely based on however is usagi-ringo, i.e., a way of cutting apples to make bunnies that’s popular in Japan:

It has little to do with anything outside of the V motif, but it makes for a fun concept regardless.

The victory theme is also very apparent; though it makes for a slightly weird concept given that the Pokemon’s theme is victory and you can still walk into battle with it and lose throughly (which, you know, is kind of a necessity). Weirdly enough, the ‘dex lampshades this; I’d assume this is a myth, but wouldn’t it be fairly easy to disprove/prove? Unless the implication is that no one has ever caught one in all of history, which seems unlikely.

Anyway, while the themes are fine and I like the visuals as a whole (especially the huge ears), there are a few weird visual things going on with it. Like the random V line on the torso; why is it there if it’s not dividing anything? It’s like it was meant to have orange haunches or something and then they changed it and never removed the line.

Also, the butt-wings. Aside from them presumably being non-functional (because how else would it fly with them, other than butt-first), I don’t feel like they add much to the design other than really hammering down that V motif to an extreme. In some poses the wings look more like tail(s), which frankly would’ve worked much better:

The haunches are also a bit too bulky, and the head is too big for my tastes (it might just be a me thing, but it tends to bug me when the head is the size of the entire rest of the body).

The design is fine as-is; but I can’t help but feel like it would’ve been cuter and more cohesive if you shrunk the head a bit, made the butt-wings a tail/two tails, reduce the haunches, and maybe make the lower body red to fit with that random line (or just remove it entirely).

Overall, Victini is fine; it’s cute enough and the apple-rabbit motif is charming. However, there’s a lack of focus in the design and even the concept to a lesser extent that makes it somewhat forgettable to most people. I feel like it would’ve worked better if they discarded the victory stuff entirely and just leaned into it being a weird little apple rabbit creature, but maybe that’s just me.

#victini #pokemon #pokemon reviews

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easierreadthandone4711 · 5 months

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Change of plans..

Picture it, 2023, Thanksgiving afternoon - football & coffee in pjs. Its cold out which doesn't help the ice box of a room I have already. Packers are winning, which, after the heartfelt Lions fandom stories...this a little bit of a bummer. Anyways, I originally planned to begin my blog tomorrow on my travel day but it hit me just now as I was trying to think up ways to avoid getting out of bed, I have to be at the airport by 5a tomorrow. Am I REALLY going to have it in me to pull this up and write an introduction to my blog? Unlikely.

Tomorrow I will leave for Nantucket Massachusetts. I will be there for the next six weeks or so for work. I know absolutely NOTHING about Nantucket. Is there a nickname for this town? Or do we always force ourselves to say naAantucket? Does anybody else struggle to say it without a honkytonk-ish vibe? As I type this out I realize, it might just be me.

I'll be honest, the idea of being on an island is beginning to feel intimidating. That's a special kind of "middle of nowhere" vibe. It's offseason there and so I'm expecting an eerie silence to the town. I also know there are lighthouses there and your girl LOVES a lighthouse. I love the ocean but I've never experienced it in an island setting, so I'm excited for this new experience. Ocean means fish and fish means fresh seafood... I could be landing in my own little gloomy heaven. I've been watching the weather and I have zero expectation of sunshine or warmth. I hear the hotel has a gym and indoor pool which is also a plus for me - it'll help to keep me sane. Speaking of sanity, I carefully chose six books to read while I am away. One per week is ambitious but I am really not a cold lovin' girly, so I WILL be curled up inside.

I chose The Glass Castle and The Hilarious World of Depression as my travel books. The rest are in my checked bags. This is my third travel order this year and while I still feel like a newb, I would like to think I've improved on my packing skills. I let myself be more lax with packing tightly as I won't be needing as many things and packing winter clothes is more frustrating than I'd like to admit. I'm riddled with anxiety, winter clothes will not be the battle I fight today.

Along with reading more, I wanted to start writing again and focus more on my studies for day trading. This is where you come in.

I've been trying to find where I fit in, or rather, where a good fit for my story would be. My story isn't anything incredible but there's something to be said about leaving behind your legacy. I'll share my new found experiences during my travel and the like - then I'll sprinkle in a story or two of past experiences. If nothing else, my kids will have these chronicles to look back on....assuming tumblr survives. Anybody else reading this.. <3 Hope you enjoy!

#travel #massachusetts #books #reading #bookworm

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gingerbreadmonsters · 11 months

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Heeyy Ginger~~ 💕 self-love time! talk about which ones of YOUR creations (edits, artworks, fanfics) you like the most then send to other creators to do the same 💕

warning for 18+ discussion under the cut! minors dni please <3

WAIT THIS IS SO SWEET DON'T 😭😭😭

hmmngmgnhmg it is, of course, impossible to choose a favourite child - but i think if i had to pick just one to talk about then it's got to be blood sugar, baby!

this fic was written in the wake of imperium: cataclysm in late november of 2022, basically because prime universe!william solaire is really really hot already and imperium!william - aside from having literally no screentime, so i can say whatever i like about him - has the potential to be hot AND evil, which for me is like the ultimate combination 🤩🤩

my version of prime!william is very much a man who loves his children more than anything else - he won't let them get away with anything, per se, but he absolutely loves those two to pieces and holds his family very very close to his heart. imperium!william, then, takes that love and (as for everything in the imperium) whacks it up to eleven - so what happens then?

the solaires, for better or worse, really get the short end of the stick during catacylsm, so i really wanted to talk about what alexis and vincent's fates might have meant for william - what it might have done to him, feeling both his progenies die in such quick succession, and what that would have made him do now.

in canon, we also have that first william audio where lovely meets him for the first time - this fic is sort of my answer to that, i guess? it's never clear if they ever met in the imperium before vincent died or not, but i think it's unlikely they ever did. it also felt kind of boring to me, that they get rescued by asher but then we never hear anything about them again, so the idea of william kidnapping lovely and staging this first meeting was born!

the vibe of this fic rests quite heavily on the aesthetics of it all - the room around lovely (and william himself, now that i think about it) gets described in a way that's trying to show the reader that the house is quite old and quite expensive! things like william's gloves and handkerchief, the addition of a mantel clock, a chest of drawers, heavy curtains on the windows... all of those things are meant to suggest that we're dealing with a man who's very wealthy, and combined with lovely's restrained, confused body, there's the implication that he's also very powerful.

(obviously, we get that in the dialogue and the narration as well - william and lovely both mention the fact that he's a vampire king, and although lovely doesn't really know what that means, it's not difficult to infer that it means he's got a lot of money.)

the way that william speaks was actually not as difficult as i thought it would be to write - it's supposed to be slightly stilted, archaic, and a little bit awkward! it's referenced towards the beginning when lovely notices 'letters sticking and sliding where [they] don’t expect them', but that's all meant to get across the point that william a) is speaking with a noticeable french accent, b) is much, much older than lovely (by hundreds of years), and c) is much more formal in his speech than vincent was, and that lovely's used to.

in every iteration of this, lovely was always going to be tied to the bed for the whole time. while that does make for quite a nice (if obvious) reminder of the power dynamic here, there were actually two more significant reasons for having the scene play out with them stuck there: the first is that the idea of being tied to a bed has a whole load of, uh, explicit connotations that i wanted the reader to have in the back of their mind - sex and vampires kind of go together anyway, and i wanted to make william extra extra hot in this one because i think it's what he deserves and also i am an equal-opportunity vampirefucker and everyone deserves the chance to think about getting fucked by the sexy powerful rich vampire king, this is my contribution to society

the second reason is literally no more complicated than i wanted this to echo various conventions of film, specifically with an eye to horror and melodrama - our poor captured protagonist has been caught and is being tied to the railroad tracks, while our villain is busy monologuing up a storm.

(and wow, does william monologue in this one! you can probably tell that i wrote the dialogue first, and then went back in to fill in the rest - he really doesn't shut up at all...)

however, william was never going to be a purely evil character for me - i did my best to make him as sympathetic as possible, while still adhering to the conventions of the imperiumverse and making it clear that this is a world where the boundaries of socially acceptable and morally justifiable behaviour are absolutely not the same as the prime universe.

part of that is tied to that slightly laissez-faire, hand-wavey 'we're in the imperium, anything can happen' mentality that i like, but to me his attitude of 'i have to preserve anything i can of my children, anything at all just to prove that they existed' comes from a place of very deep, very tragic loss. it's an expression of desperation, of bitter regret, and of absolute and screaming grief.

this is a man who loved his children more than anything else in the world and who is not willing to let them go, and is now calmly explaining to lovely why that love justifies keeping them captive indefinitely. it makes sense to him, although he's not keeping them in exactly the same way that vincent kept them. vincent kept lovely as a food source - william is keeping them as a souvenir. he's hoping that lovely remembers vincent as fondly and as lovingly as he does.

lovely... isn't really sure if they do or not, but they're not immune to the imperium either - they were kept by vincent long enough that the stockholm syndrome had time to reasonably set in, enough that they definitely associated vincent with survival, with warmth and food and human contact, but can't quite figure out if what they're feeling is actually love. they're strangely upset that vincent never told them he had a sister, and they're surprisingly fine with the idea of getting revenge on vincent's killer. however, they know that what vincent did was, on some level, wrong - hence their confusion, and their slightly contradictory behaviour.

it's all about survival rather than affection for poor lovely, as shown by them asking william to stay ('if he leaves, there’s no telling when - if ever - he’ll come back for you. Call it personal experience.') but also refusing the water he offers them ('Like hell you’re drinking anything he gives you.'). they don't trust william, but they've learnt that the best way to survive is to obey.

the ending with william trancing lovely is deliberately ambiguous - does he turn them? does he keep them as a human? it's entirely open to interpretation, but my personal version is that he keeps them human for a little bit in a sort of weird, vincent-esque way? they're kept in much better conditions than vincent had them in, but it's william's twisted attempt to emulate his son, and feel closer to him by doing things as vincent did them (hence why he calls them 'my little thrall-to-be'). then, after that, he does turn lovely into a vampire to keep them 'preserved' forever, eternally attached to him and kept in his house.

it's implied that there's some degree of attraction there, at least in a sexual sense ('You shiver slightly, but you’re not sure why. “Oh, is that it? That’s what you want - to be good for me?” A playful smirk. “You spoil me, darling.”'), but the extent of that is also up to the reader's interpretation. all i'm saying is that he's hot on purpose, the long hair and the gloves were absolutely on purpose, and i don't blame you <3

my favourite favourite part of this has got to be that last dreamy bit ('There’s a house in the woods, a very long way away...') - if i remember correctly, i think i wrote that bit quite early on but saved it, because it didn't really fit the tone of the rest. it's designed to read like a closing montage sequence in a film, where the dialogue has finished and the music is coming to a finale, and i think it mostly worked...?? idk i'm just really pleased with how it turned out, especially the sensory description there! the house that lovely mentions is deliberately left unclear - you can decide whether i meant it to be vincent's or william's. i have to keep some secrets, after all 🥰🥰

honourable mentions: get in, loser!, a ring on the carousel, motion capture, resist and elongate, mad or sublime, five more minutes

#girl who writes essays for a one paragraph question uh oh #thank you so much for this ask!! too damn nice to me i tell you #been in a bit of a writing slump since the mer fic so v nice to think happy thoughts abt an older piece :DDD #i say it about them all but this really is my baby #the gals (gn) on discord heard me screaming my head off as i was writing it and i'm sure i sounded like an idiot #but i'm pretty pleased with the result #this one more than anything is a love letter to more cerebral and psychological horror #as opposed to the gorier 'bury the hatchet' or the uncaring viciousness of 'wrapped up in clover'#i mean this fic isn't EXACTLY psychological horror in the classic sense but ykwim #ginger speaks to lovely blogs #<333333333333333333

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