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rayedraws · 9 months

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Burnout is no joke

I have alluded to my burnout but never spoke at length about it. I think in many ways I’m still processing what happened and what led to it. It’s hard for me to put into words what it was that I felt and continue to feel. I felt a little lost when it happened, but I have spoken about this at length with friends and even reached out to artists I admire (and to my surprise got replies back!) and it really helped me put things in perspective. It's very important to acknowledge the symptoms and always reach out for help when you feel like you're on your way or have burnt out. Sometimes people have different perspectives that may be able to help you.

First, I want to thank those who stayed with me through my long hiatus and continue to enjoy the work I put out even though it’s a massive shift in what I used to draw. This means more to me than I can ever express in words.

One of the reasons it’s so hard to talk about is that I’m not entirely sure when it all began. If I had to pinpoint where things were going wrong would be around 5 years ago. And 3 years ago I sort of just… disappeared. Not answering messages and maybe posting 1 or 2 bits of art that year. The truth is, I was debating whether or not to delete my account and just disappear for good.

Thankfully I spoke to my friends about what I felt and even reached out to some of my favourite artists and got a reply back. I held a very heart-to-heart conversation with one of them and it really put a lot of things in perspective for me. Being honest about what I was doing was difficult, especially to someone I considered highly but it made me realise what I was doing was incredibly unhealthy.

When I typed out what I wanted to say and even removed large chunks of text it felt like I just droned on. If you are interested in knowing in more detail, by all means, my notes are open.

In summary, I allowed people to dictate what I created, and I began to create artwork that I wasn't fully happy with because I just wanted to be relevant and liked. In many ways, I noticed I had regressed in quality and style and freaked out that I wasn't getting better with time. In many ways, I fell for the trap where I'd produce not because I liked what I did but because I thought it would get me noticed and liked. After my heart-to-heart, I closed commissions for a long while and began to think about what I wanted. What I wanted to draw. What I thought was fun[/. I have changed. And after a while, it didn't feel right to hold on to a style I wasn't connected to.

This is why my style changed because I allowed it to naturally head in that direction. I’m now at the other end feeling empowered, content and emboldened. Even if it doesn’t get as much traction as it did before, the best thing that came out of this is that I am actually happy. Truly happy. I think this is why there is such a stark contrast in what I'm posting. I'm enjoying what I'm doing and every time I push just a little further. Just because I could do the style doesn't mean I should have solely focused on it.

I got to mess around and be playful with my work and got to a style I’m so comfortable with and feels like it's more "me" than the style I kept just for the sake of relevancy.

I’m still not fully out of burnout. Some don’t realise the effects of burnout can take so long to overcome. I know my journey will differ from many. In my case, being able to focus on what I wanted and needed from my art (as well as my own personal project) helped me gain my love for it back. Don't ignore your needs in terms of art. What you have to say to the world matters just as much.

In the next coming weeks when I open commissions again, I will do it with the knowledge and experiences of the past to make sure I don’t overwhelm myself or ignore my needs.

#art burnout #burnout

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hopeswriting · 3 years

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Modern AU (Adult!)Arcobaleno on socials media though. While Flames and mafia are definitely still a thing.

Now I’m by no means well acquainted to all the different popular socials media, but here’s my humble take:

Reborn on Instagram.

He only has pictures of Leon first and foremost, with him in the background in one of his ridiculous but very well-made cosplay. Leon of course also wears the same cosplay as him.

He never shows his full face in any of the pictures, but just enough his followers know he’s handsome as fuck.

The artists/photoshoppers among them regularly put the pieces together to see how he could look like, but in a funny-and-obviously-purposefully-wrong way only.

Reborn loves them and saves them all.

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Once in a blue moon he does post a picture of himself where you can see him clearly all dressed up and fancy, and then immediately deletes it.

But only after he’s sure it has been seen, so he can watch his followers lose their shit while drinking a nice espresso.

They try hard, but so far none of them managed to save any of the pictures before he deletes them.

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Often there’s what suspiciously looks like blood stains on their clothes and straight up dead bodies lying in the background, but Reborn went so passive-aggressive with the few who dared to ask, everyone is too afraid to ask now.

Anyone who badmouths Leon in any way is instantly blocked. But only after Reborn ripped them a new one AND let his followers do it too.

Skull on Twitter and Snapchat.

He tweets the most random, out of nowhere, highly worrying things, that always sent his followers in a frenzy trying to figure out why the fuck he would think of any of this in the first place??

“aren’t you ever tried of your solid, rigid, restrictive bones? don’t you want to just be Luffy from One Piece, a rubber being that can shape themself in whatever way they wish?”

or:

“nobody ever tells you this, but the stress of picking apart melted leather from your burnt skin before it heals is VERY worth the adrenaline of making fire your BITCH”

or:

“is it REALLY illegal if you break in and eat the food but leave money behind??”

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That’s just his Twitter only followers though.

The ones on Snapchat have the privilege to watch him stumble head first step by step to his tweets, and are actually very involved and active spectators that keep him out of jail, or killing himself, or killing someone else.

Skull, recording a video, halfway stuck in between two buildings: What’s up guys, there're these guys following me and trying to kill me, quick tell me what bones to break so I can fit in there.

see also:

A picture of Skull crouched in front of a body, posing, that says: don’t worry guys we’re just faking, but hypothetically, if you were to hide a body as quick as possible from here without being seen, what would you do? #hypotheticallyseriousanswersonly #hypotheticallythecopsaremaybeontheirway #quickanswersappreciated

Verde on Facebook.

He creates a public group with only him as member that’s basically his scientific diary.

It’s not really to invite intellectual challenging debates (though he’d be all for it if someone smart enough showed up), but he figures it’s in his best interest to make the world a less dumb place if he can.

It finds his public, though there’s only a few comments because god forbid you say something dumb or inaccurate and Verde fucking annihilates you in the comment section.

But like, in a teacher way. Like he’s genuinely trying to make you know better but he’s just ruthless at it lmao.

Verde uses a fake name and a fake everything so there’s quickly a running joke along the lines of “Imagine if it’s really the genius scientist Verde running the group and you just outed yourself as a flat earther lol”.

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But what gets the group really popular is the in depth flames theory involving weather of all things they have to assume he came up with it all on his own because they can’t figure out to save their lives what the hell he’s talking about?

And it makes them question their sanity sometimes because Verde talks about it like it’s the most obvious thing and in the context of just about every basic aspects of life.

Cue the conspirators and their hot new take of “the aliens were among us all along and hid themselves as the WEATHER!!!” that instantly turns into the new popular meme.

That, and the transcripts posts of Verde trying his theories that nine out of ten apparently involves very unwilling participants whose life are threatened and sometimes they straight up DIE???

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They think both of these is just him fucking with them and it’s all fictional. They want to think it is anyway.

They’re not so sure, but everyone is too afraid to ask.

Colonnello on Snapchat.

70% of his content is about Lal because this man is so in love and it’s like he’s a guest on his own account lol.

There’s the “Pining Hard” content where it’s just him trying to seduce Lal, to romance her and asking her out, and Lal brushing all of it off more often than not.

His followers are very invested in this “old bickering married couple type of best friends in oblivious mutual pining” real live action slow burn fic, and cheers him hard whenever Lal reciprocates the tiniest bit.

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They don’t know the two are already together.

They think Lal brushing him off or flirting back but in an unmistakably joking/”platonic” way is just her being oblivious and not taking Colonnello seriously.

When she would just rather flirt back off camera because it’s her private life thank you very much.

Colonnello never tells them because he assumes they all know and just choose to be in on the joke.

Lal finds it hilarious whenever she goes through his Snapchat (with his permission of course) to find numerous messages of encouragement, so she never says either.

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But one day she kind of just steals a kiss from him while he’s recording because she wanted to, and his followers lose their shit.

Lal laughs herself to tears and laughs for days.

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The other Lal’s related content is the “Lal’s loving hours”, where he just takes pictures of her/records her doing random shit---whether it's her making a disaster out of the kitchen, or wearing three pairs of socks because her feet are cold, or beating the shit out of someone---and him doing heart eyes at the camera.

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Otherwise it’s just him living his life and letting them in on what happens.

There’s a lot of pictures because he’s handsome and he knows it and he likes the compliments aqsdfghj.

Or videos of him going on and on about how energy drinks are really the best drink ever while doing grocery.

Or ranting videos about how bullets wounds are such a pain to deal with and showing himself patching himself up to show how it’s done (thanks??!!??).

Or him watching series and roasting the characters for their dumb decisions.

Or him commenting in real time an assassination attempt on him in the middle of the night in his own fucking home because the fucker sure is ballsy (????!!!!!!???).

It’s very popular too because of how relatable it is.

Well, most of the time anyway.

Viper on Youtube.

They have a DIY type of channel, mostly about fashion---what they think about the new products/clothes they bought from their favorite brand, their thoughts on the new fashion trend, their makeup/skin care routine and favorite outfits for various circumstances, or they’re often on live while going shopping.

(I just really like Fashionista!Viper okay.)

They play videos games too, thinking they’re being very good while being very average to not say they straight up suck asdfghj.

Occasionally do reaction videos too.

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Like Reborn they hardly ever show their face. Actually they don’t show it at all lol. They wear masks to do their videos because a hood is not very reliable.

How do they do their makeup videos then you ask?

They use "volunteer" as models of course.

And by volunteers I mean the Varia qsdftgyhjkl.

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They also have another very peculiar brand of videos that is the most popular one on their channel. The titles of these videos include but are not limited to:

“A Due Payment Of Yours Is Late? How To Hunt Them For Sport”

“A Little Bitch Doesn’t Respect Your Pronouns/Chosen Name? Step By Step On How To Make Them Shut The Fuck Up Forever”

“How To Efficiently Remove Blood And Various Others Human Residue From Your Clothes”

“Faking Your Death And Taking On A New Identity: Step By Step Tutorial”

“How To Take Over Your Friends Brains And Watch Them Prank Themselves ft. The Varia”

Fon on Tumblr.

His blog becomes known as a shitpost blog or a blog run by a bot when really, everything he posts is about actual, very real events that happened in his life.

Except he vague posts every time because he really wants to keep his anonymity.

He posts about the hardships of learning more and more martial arts and staying at the top of the art, and sounds like some dangerous psychopath.

“The body is such a fragile thing, isn’t it? It tends to break quite easily unfortunately. You’d think I’d know that by then, but I really need to remember it more often so I can keep enjoying myself.”

He’s talking about how he always pushes himself too much in training and ends up injuring himself.

“Everyday I dispose of them and reasserts my superiority, and everyday they come back and it’s really hard to not hurt them beyond repair.”

He’s talking about how he’s often challenged by other martial artists who don’t like him being the best and how he always has to beat them up bloody for them to give up.

He also posts about his family's live except it’s the Hibari’s family live, and he doesn’t sound more sane of mind at all.

“I made the mistake of taking Kyo with me on my grocery trip and picked on his tell-tale signs of going through a bad day too late.

But fortunately the shop is still standing and no one was heavily injured.”

or:

“It’s so heartwarming to see Kyo make friends. The brown haired kid didn’t put much of a fight but the one with the pineapple haircut has potential.

He almost managed to stab him that one time, and I can’t wait to tease Kyo about it. He’s very cute when annoyed and embarrassed.”

or:

“Often I look back to the day Kyo got his tonfa and I am always infinitely grateful for this not-so-easy-to-kill-with weapon.

I would like for him to at least finish high school first.”

Yeah it’s very often about Kyoya lmao. And no one knows for sure what in the world a “Kyo” is supposed to be???

An actual human being is NOT the most popular theory qsdfghn.

Lal on TikTok.

I guess?? I’m kind of running out of ideas lol, and I know very little about TikTok.

But I’m thinking she makes a series of videos where she looks straight into the camera like she’s on The Office while some bullshit or the other happens in the background.

And it’s not even always her friends or coworkers or Colonnello (yeah he has a category of his own lmao).

As far as she is concerned everyone who chooses to be a fucking dumbass in her vicinity is asking for it aqsdfghj.

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Also has a “Doing paperwork” series, and the later at night she’s doing it, the more she’s absolutely fucking done with people not being able to do their job properly without collateral damage.

She dryly reads out loud the highlights of the reports and goes straight for their lives lol.

But as funny as it is, everyone is more interested in the very questionable out of context content of these reports???

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Also does workout videos, as in she demonstrates how to do this one or other exercise, and if these do particularly well it has nothing to do with how people want to look respectfully at her body, of course not.

ALSO has a “Colonnello’s Loving Hours” series because you better believe this woman is also so much in love.

She records him when he’s simply existing---whether he’s snuggling besides her while they’re watching TV, or dancing in the kitchen while cooking, or cleaning his guns---while looking at the camera with this tender, content expression on her face.

They become known as the Weather Lovers because boy, do these people like to go on about their favorite weather. Some shipping might even be involved??

It’s how their community introduces them to each other.

Cue even more chaos on their respective socials medias.

Viper’s video of their first meeting is the most popular one on their channel.

Yeah I know, I didn’t add the Sky Arco ladies, but I have no idea what they could do. Pinterest maybe? Or Vine? Dunno, they’re all yours guys lol.

#katekyo hitman reborn #khr #khr au #khr arcobaleno #khr socials media au #the mafia in general on socials media though #like you're undercover for some hit or the other #but isn't it fucking suspicious how alfredo and marco are always on the exact same location on the snapchat map??#or trying to keep your civilian loved ones in the dark #but they went through your mafia friends account and they talk about you in a very you're obviously not a civilian manner #or you're showing your boss a possible talented new recruit profile #and a message of his wife pops on screen that leaves no room to misunderstanting asdfghj #just the fact that it'd indeniably make their job so much harder #but no one would care bcause VALIDATION #anyway #mine

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tackycute · 6 years

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Selfie spam? (Sfw or nsfw, whichever you’d like)

I don’t have any new pictures tbh anon. I rarely take any of myself, but once my phone isn’t dead I’ll post some pictures of other stuff I have taken recently. Mostly the sky and my plants.

Speaking of which your question reminded me of a current internal debate I’ve been having about whether I should get an Instagram; Mostly just so I have a place to post plants since I feel my Tumblr doesn’t get enough plant-interested individuals and my Snapchat (the normal place I do) I hardly ever use to the point it seems redundant to post to my story.

** I extremely dislike even having a Snapchat and would delete it if some of my friends didn’t primarily contact me on it. Side note, if interested in my Snapchat it’s tackycute- no dick/explicit pics or you will be blocked.

This debate has been one I’ve more so had in the past few months because it would give me practice with online marketing once I get deeper into my progression of my small business (oh yeah btw that’s legit and I don’t talk about it because I want to officially say stuff about it at once I have more stability with it). So of course, as a future small business owner I need to learn how to online market and more importantly become comfortable with putting things I deem sacred online. Something I struggle very deeply with. For brief example, I just never take pictures and don’t have much I’d want to contribute to the public/followers/outside world. As you can tell from my Tumblr blog, there’s a bit of personality but most of the personality I’ve presented about myself is through the work of other’s through their art. Shocker, art is very important to me and so it’s somewhat led me to these conclusions coupled with my comparison of my personality/thoughts to seemingly my peers’: My art is sorta sacred to me, my face is not my favorite all the time, and my life is not filled with adventure or enough adventure to pretend that it does to post online. What in my life that’s worth posting is my plants, wild plants, and maybe other people’s art and pieces of literature/poetry/music. My conclusion at the end of most of my internal debates regarding this topic is, I don’t know if only plants and other’s art really is enough to justify going through the hassle of having and maintaining an IG account.

Ya know I think many can say having a nice, aesthetically pleasing, and satisfying Instagram or social media platform is a lot to manage. And to be fairly honest, if I can’t make something I deem important perfect (nice/aesthetically pleasing and satisfying) than I don’t want the disappointment I’d feel for thinking my social media account or self is a failure. It’s a bit dumb, but how one presents themselves online matters as much as it does for most because that’s literally you. No matter how photoshopped, cut into bits and pieces, or hidden you are on your social media that still is you at the end of the day and it will still effect your self concept. I know I get overwhelmed by media’s influence on my self concept and I know it has contributed to my feelings of inadequacy, so why would I further expose myself to that? I go back and forth if the pros really outweigh the cons, and on most days it doesn’t for me. Thus, me still not having an IG.

Maybe I’m just overly weird about social media platforms, but I do like my seclusion and privacy. Sometimes I find it strange how much I currently post of myself, and then I find it so much stranger how much more open other people my age seem to be about social media platforms. Like it’s okay, no judgment, sometimes I feel incredibly distant from my peers regarding it and it’s really an annoying conflict. I’d probably be more open to social media if my privacy wasn’t being invaded by the state and my not so favorite peers, but that’s unlikely to ever happen. There’s business in being in my business, and most of that business is not designed to be for my better well being. So again, why would I engage further in that? It leads to again the beginning of this where my main pro purpose for getting a Instagram would to be to promote my business through posts about art, nature, and positivity.

Btw I’m sure this is not the response you were expecting, but if any of you take the time to read this and would like to give me your thoughts about your take on my internal conflict please do. Should I stay [without a IG] or should I go [and make a IG]?

Ps- The link to “Should I Stay Or Should I Go?” by The Clash song since I made the joke– https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7r0iuoj-KNU

#anon #ask #p

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definitelynotplanetfall · 4 years

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so about that orientation/preference brouhaha

Having slept nonzero hours and having mulled this over a bit

I don’t exactly have a horse in this race as a filthy Fake Pseudo Ace That Doesn’t Even Have The Decency To Be Aro Or Gay Or Even Completely Ace I Mean Stolen Valor Much. It’s literally impossible to criminalize not having sex. Utterly unenforceable. I get that I’m not being targeted here and my opinion doesn’t really matter except as a barometer for “is planetfall a good person” (which I am not, and could have told you without any of the fuss). I have no specific love for the phrase “sexual preference,” I don’t think I have ever even used it, but also it’s such a nothing distinction. I do not care that Important Organizations declared it offensive years ago, because the reasoning they used to do so is silly, and of the people I’ve seen saying it definitely is not offensive what on earth are you on about, a bunch of them are LGBTQ.

And again, to address the issue that spawned this specific instance of this discourse, given Barrett’s record and the way homophobes do seem to insist on saying preference, it probably is a signal she intends to use her power in bigoted ways.

But like.

First of all, it is incredibly foot-shooty to say the evidence of her prejudice is the fact that she said “sexual preference” and not “sexual orientation,” which requires a fair bit of contextual understanding to see what the problem is and looks like pedantic hair-splitting without that knowledge, when shit like this exists.

Second - I’m sort of Von Wokensteining here, and to my understanding this entire argument started from one tweet or something similar, and it’d be misleading to assert “this one tweeter is the avatar for progressivism!“

EDIT: That’s not correct, it was a senator at her hearing rather than a rando providing commentary. I should have confirmed this myself and only learned it a few days later. This shows how accusations are taken out of context and passed around demanding judgment. I definitely could have spent more time reading about this incident, because I am a shitty excuse for a person with unlimited time. Every random Joe Blow does not have that luxury.

In my defense I was not paying attention to the hearing because I just assumed she would be maximally bad on all issues, considering who appointed her, and that was not a swamp I really wanted to wade through.

However.

People rushing to defend the assertion that “sexual preference” is self-evidently offensive gives at the very least an impression of a unified ideological coalition.

And, I said this in the last post but it bears repeating, the left lost the right to use “born this way” rhetoric the moment it became a semi-common talking point that you need to challenge your attractions if you aren’t attracted to an adequate cross-section of your area’s ethnic makeup or whatever. To intentionally try to change your attractions. To choose your attractions, if I may be so bold.

The charge against “sexual preference” is that it implies that orientation is a choice, which is supposedly hopelessly reactionary. Even ignoring for a moment that it does not in fact imply this, you do not get to tell people it is indefensible to IMPLY things that your side SAYS OUTRIGHT.

Also, quite frankly, I consider myself to have been made more ace during my lifetime by certain prevalent messages (and other hyper-targeted ones), and like, if the argument is actually that non-innate sexualities are illegitimate, does that mean that there can be no moral objection to someone raping me because the sky wizard said so?

[edit: screaming redacted]

It literally does not matter whether who you’re attracted to is a choice or inborn or whatever because that is not the moral dimension, the moral dimension is “does it hurt anyone?” which it fucking doesn’t why is this so difficult

I don’t give a shit about the rhetoric. The rhetoric sucks. The rhetoric is wrong.

Third, I’m extremely suspicious of any sort of euphemism-treadmill type anything, but one thing that’s especially suspect is when someone says “X term is offensive to Y demographic” against the wishes of that demographic. Like, my circles are not the widest, but I have mostly seen LGBTQ people being upset at being spoken for against their own wishes, sometimes with people chiming in and helpfully saying “no, see, you should be offended! This article says you are offended so stop pretending not to be!”

I am not trying to make a false equivalency of the relative badness levels but please, try to appreciate the poetic irony in unironically deploying “The Dedicated Truth Decreer said the innocuous-on-its-face thing was bad” in this of all possible situations.

It’s the “listen to X (I am not X, and X that disagree with me are not real X so don’t listen to them)” thing. The entire authority of that sort of article rests on the authors speaking for groups, so when members of that group say “this is bullshit pedantry and not offensive, and in fact your declaring it offensive on my behalf makes me feel less safe in places purportedly organized for my benefit” does in fact undermine the authority of those declarations.

Fourth, this is not as strong of an argument and really super tangential, but I’m personally sick of people just... giving things up because bad people claim them. I don’t extend this infinitely, so for instance Hindus trying to reclaim the swastika are probably right on the level of “it is wrong that this important symbol from our culture has been made synonymous with the greatest evil in living memory, and this change should be reverted,” but it’s so culturally ingrained that I don’t know if it is possible to fix at this point.

However, I remember when a bunch of Nazis were like “we own Pepe the frog now” and the response to this was like, “Yeah! Let them grab whatever culture they want, it is tainted by their even saying they want it! Also all Pepe memes made before this point are retroactively fascist!” and just...

That’s fucking transparently stupid. That specific thing has abated and you can find lefty Pepe memes now, nature is healing etc etc, but the “anime = fascist” thing hasn’t and it’s so so mind-numbing that you would just cede entire genres of art and start asserting that anyone who enjoys them is automatically irredeemable without considering what effect this might have on how unhinged you look or your ability to say your ideal world is better than theirs. I remember arguing with someone about this circa 2016 and I said something to the effect of “well what if instead of next they claim jazz” and they said it would suck that nobody could listen to jazz anymore. (iirc, this person was white which makes it extra hilarious/depressing, but the forum thread where it happened seems to be deleted so assume I made this up from whole cloth)

The reason I bring this up is part of the reason people say “it implies orientation is a choice” is because that’s what homophobes say it means (in contradiction to the literal words, naturally) and why they insist on using it. It’s less of a concrete thing, but the two feel isomorphic.

Lastly... OK so in my other post I used sort of a cringy programming metaphor, because I was half asleep so the only part of my brain still functioning was “comprehension of programming problems” amirite fellas. I don’t like definition debates in general but it seems like a lot of the people insisting “preference = choice” are using different definitions, so this is mostly just to show how that is not the only obvious interpretation.

A sexual orientation is a description of what gender(s) someone wants to have sex with.

A preference is a description of what someone wants.

Therefore a sexual orientation is a type of preference.

Note that nothing there says anything about origin or mutabiliy. Just that if you ask someone what their orientation is, you will get information about what they do and don’t want.

I need to stress that based on the context that sparked off this debacle I can understand why someone’s interpretation of the phrase might be “orientation is a choice” - even though I think it’s wrong to assume that’s what is meant by the phrase inherently, it’s a reasonable reaction to pattern-match talking points.

But the other thing is that it’s probably wrong to perma-delete the phrase because it isn’t gibberish.

What I mean by that is I get frustrated whenever someone is talking about an expenditure of energy and time related to feelings, and someone else comes along and screeches “THAT’S NOT WHAT EMOTIONAL LABOR MEANS”

and yes, that is not what the jargon phrase “emotional labor” means

but the person you’re yelling at was in fact describing labor that is emotional, and due to the way English works, you are allowed to delete the “that is” and move the adjective before the noun. Some would even recommend this in the name of concision. (And as I’ve said before, “emotion work” as a substitute phrase is...linguistically unpleasant to say the least.)

Saying that you can’t say “sexual preference” is sort of in the same boat. People will want to talk about preferences that are sexual, because there are more variables than just orientation, but those things still matter and should get a category name and look the entire argument falls apart if you don’t make bizarre assumptions about the connotations of the word “preference” and there are only so many ways I can state that fact.

IN SHITTY CONCLUSION

The fact that I wrote out a giant post defending a phrase I don’t otherwise care about reveals some sort of deep moral failing.

#language discourse #the orientation / preference mess #homophobia #rape mention #for your convenience please accept this pre-packaged self cancellation #fuck i did the programming metaphor again just without jargon #if i wanted to be uncharitable i would say people assumed preferences only meant the options menu and meant like flipping a switch #i just know that i will get canceled if nonzero humans read this

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missmyloko · 7 years

Note

Would you care to share your credentials? You claim to 'have a degree and all that jazz, plus a library that would put most people to shame, and more connections to geisha than most Japanese people could ever hope to have.' Forgive me, but this seems to be quite an arrogant, and, as of now, baseless, staement. What was this degree in, and where was it obtained? You know a great deal, that much cannot be denied, but it seems quite disrespectful to overtly state that you, who, by your own admissio

It cut off and continues:“...n, are not racially Japanese, know more about a fundamental aspect of Japanese culture than the majority of actual Japanese people.“I’m all for an educated and thoughtful debate, so this is why I’ve decided to answer your questions and not just delete them. Next time I’d ask that you go and look for the answers to these questions, all of which can be found on this Tumblr, before asking as it saves us both time and energy.To answer your first question, I do have this tab on my Tumblr called “About Me” where I do list my credentials; I have a Bachelor of Arts - Major in Anthropology that I obtained back in 2012. In total I spent six years in university as I was part time for the first two years due to various surgeries and health issues.For your second question, I have a tab on my Tumblr called “Book Reviews” where I (quite obviously) review books on the subject of maiko and geiko. It would be hard to review books that I don’t own or would otherwise be unable to obtain, so that’s why I stick to ones that I have physical access to. I own the vast majority of books covered, with the exception of two (for those ones I used my local library), plus there’s more that I haven’t reviewed yet. I try to stay within the realm of accessibility when doing my reviews, but there are some rarer books that are just too good not to share. I still have far more books than have been reviewed, but I don’t consider them to be a primary source of knowledge. As for the third question, I’ve been lucky to form such bonds with individuals both inside and outside of Japan who have been gracious enough to share what they know with me. It’s taken over a decade to cultivate these bonds that have all required patience and trust, and it’s not something that I take lightly. Someone asked an almost identical question a year ago, and my answer then remains the same:“I actively support the karyukai, usually through the reciprocation of gifts for the time and effort that they have given me, whether that's for charity fundraisers or just for answering various questions that I have directly. It has taken me years to form such bonds and I do my best to help the karyukai out which, on the internet, involves publishing news and information to help clear up misconceptions, most of which are cleared by my contacts first. I am aware of the special circumstances surrounding my knowledge and I try my best to have my subjects be heard through their own words rather than rumors from outsiders. It seems to be a never ending battle sometimes, but I would rather educate people about this special world than to simply reprimand bad information. The foundation of this work likely comes from my degree in anthropology and, in a sense, is a way to help people understand other people through common means that are communicated via language, music, art, dance, and more. Sometimes the language barrier can be hard, but just because something is hard doesn't mean that I should stop working; if anything, it makes me want to write more because I love to share my knowledge with others.” Now, the inherent problem to your your last line is that you can’t make blanket statements as that’s not proper debate etiquette. But, the problem that’s even larger than the blanket statement is the confusion between race and culture. You stated:“[Y]ou, who, by your own admission, are not racially Japanese, know more about a fundamental aspect of Japanese culture than the majority of actual Japanese people.“Race does not equal culture. You can be born into a certain race whose majority follows a special subset of culture, but that doesn’t mean that you get to be a part of that culture via the circumstances of your birth. In most cultures your place is earned, not given away by default, which is where this entire debate comes in. What was debated in the post in question was an issue of history and not really culture. The respondent had assumed that items they had associated with being Japanese were not unique and that they only came about because of the influence of other cultures. That’s a blanket statement as technically everything has come from something else, but some of the items that they listed off developed inside certain subsets of Japanese culture simply because there was no outside influence; that is, they exist because there were no other influences and they appeared because there was a fundamental need (such as tea ceremony and kabuki). With that being said, the karyukai also does not fit under your blanket statement as the vast majority of Japanese people (in this case you meant ethnic, even though I suppose you should have meant cultural) know very little about the karyukai. It’s a subset of a larger culture that requires for you to actively be a part of it to have knowledge of it, not just have admission based on your race. For example, I am Canadian, but I wouldn’t dare speak about how I know all about Canadian culture as a whole just because I was born here. If I don’t have an active part of, let’s say, hockey culture, then who am I to comment on it? On the flip side, I have been a part of karyukai culture for over a decade now, and not because I just decided to be one day; I was let in little by little by the people who were already members. I had to prove myself again and again to be worthy of the knowledge and customs of those people just to get a foot in the door. Now that I am a member I help to educate people on the misconceptions that still arise from people outside of the culture. I do this because the people inside the karyukai culture trust me to do so and want me to help English speakers, such as yourself. Onto Part 2.

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jshi610 · 5 years

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Reading response week 2

1. 9.5 Theses on Art and Class

In my opinion, I think good art work could never get away from politics. It’s not something that everyone can get away as a human; and it’s not something that avoiding it will make it easier to look.

When there are movements in the streets, for example the situation in Hong Kong right now, related art works are more sensitive to timeliness and accuracy. Specific events happened in the street can be quickly transferred to related art works and put on social media as an effective propaganda. In this case, I think the ‘quality’ of the art work might not be so important; because art works against time. Seldom is a quick art work a good art work; but in some situations, especially when it is related to news and politics, quickness is a very important feature.

This second line that I would like to mention is also crucial. Artists have a characteristic of Narcissism; as a matter of fact it’s nothing bad at all, because making art works and putting one’s own thoughts in front of the world requires Narcissism to some extend. However, when related to ‘big things’ such as politics, some of them might go too far.

This made me think of another example. Not long ago, Kyoto Animation, a beloved Japanese animation studio went through a tragic arson attack. Many stuff members were killed, and many animation art works were destroyed in fire. Shortly after that, on Chinese social media, someone drew a short manga depicting the victims ‘lost their lives because they were trying to save the art works’. This manga got widely spread in no times, followed by huge controversies- because it was not true, as Kyoto Animation clarified at that time. Many people accused the artist of trying to gain attention for herself over other’s tragedy, and the final result was that the artist deleted that post.

There were something typical in this thing. First of all, from aesthetic angle, the manga was badly made. The proportion of human bodies were badly drawn; the lines were awkward; and the artist put too much deliberate make-you-cry features in it. It almost will make people laugh, if not cry in awkward.

However, this manga did got widely spread and made more people know about this tragedy- people outside the Japanese animation lovers. Even the controversial and debate part is, potentially, made people pay more attention to the studio itself and donated more money because they were ‘disgusted by the artist’s selfish to try to get more followers from this tragedy’.

The ending is also not a good thing in my opinion. Yes, it was a bad art work; but people shouldn’t have the right to call the artist murder and anti-human, and used this to make her deleted that post. It’s just not right. Art should have no boundaries; but still, when involved with politics situations, people are naturally more strict about it, because behind the black and white manga figures, there were once lived humans.

That’s also one point. Due to the barrier of time, space, language and ideology, human just can’t connect with each other in merely words. However, art work is different. They are lines, shapes and colors. You don’t need a MFA to read the pictures; and you don’t need to understand Cantonese to see that one young protester girl lost one of her eyes by the violent police. Suddenly the barrier disappears. However, then the art works served as a mean to the end, not as a finally product. It’s more like people searched the background story after they saw the art works; and they need the background story to complete the art work. Art work once again become a by-product, just as they did in Medieval times to religion. Is that what we want then?

What it means to be a ‘political artist’? Is it just like a title of ‘oil painter’ or ‘digital painter’? Should it be like that? What’s people’s opinion about ‘political artist’ versus ‘quiet countryside landscape artist’? Should there even be a title called ‘political artist’?

When I was little my family already told me to stay away from politics. After that certain year in Chinese history, who were university students at that time became parents, and they certainly didn’t want they children died like once their classmates. My family told me to do technical or scientific jobs as they stayed as far as from politics. Instead I choose art; but still, there are so many times that I’m not sure if it is safe to bring one political issue up on the desk. That is, including call myself ‘want to become a political artist’.

It is one thing to stand on the shore and watch people sinking in the river, and it is another thing to be the people sinking in the river. The thing is, I don’t think there are such things as ‘few political movements in evidence’. Just because you don’t see it doesn’t mean it not exist. In those so-called third world countries everyday political movements are everywhere. They might not adapted in a familiar form to first world countries’ residences, and they might even have the chance to get known to the world before they’ve already been put out by the authorities. So this is an aspect I would like to point out.

And that is just painfully true. There are some fundamentally contrast part between art and politics; they need each other but also try to kill each other in the same way.

I like the word ‘political aesthetic’ because it made itself sound like a real issue. No, there’s no such thing; everything artist do, think and make is political; we might just not realized that how a small changes in politics may have lethal affects to art world. We are living in a too comfortable situation that make us forget what once it was like. See German in WWII, see Soviet Union and see China now; again, just because you don’t see it doesn’t mean it not exist. We are all on the thin ice now and always, like it or not.

2. Comment section of CNN's Photo section

I must admit that, as a Chinese student, I’m not unfamiliar with the feelings and expressions used in those negative comments. Just changing a few words and those comments might even have a nationalism(or in this case should I say regionalism) feeling hidden behind.

The reason why her work upsets them is simply: those people were assuming themselves on a higher or advantage ground than ‘everyday Appalachians’. Two comments actually mentioned that:’...what's SO horrible about all of these people that you're ashamed to be associated with them...' and ‘Not all of us are backwards hicks.’. For example, when talking about the bad influences(they won't bring jobs to this region) of businesses and industries when they saw 'crap like this', Mindy Miller had already firmly believed that all those people in the photos shouldn’t have the right to have a job. This is elitism; by separating themselves from the ‘general public’, they find themselves worthy and above the average. I don’t blame them for that. This is like a human instinct; when visiting the museum, there are ‘serious art lovers’ and ‘visitors’; when eating in a restaurant, there are 'Gourmet' and 'hungry beast'; human need to divide themselves into groups and start the conflict, otherwise they will have to face the fact that all of us are tiny, worthless and boring creatures compared to the universe.

The second sentence I found myself familiar is ‘Where are they? I haven't seen them.’. No matter whether you see them or not, those people will be there. Living in modern days people always assume they will see enough to conclude that they’ve seen the world- but no. I’ve lived in NY for 5 years now but I only visited Flushing twice; even in my hometown there are so many countryside areas that belongs to my city Nanjing, but I, as born and raised in Nanjing, never heard their names. Back to the CNN photos, it’s only 359 comments; and how many people are there in Appalachia? When facing controversial topics posting on the Internet, sometimes people forget that of all those people involved directly to the problem, only a few ‘top’(both in educational and economical) of them have the condition to type on the Internet. Thinking of the hobos’ issue- how many hobos will be able to check a phone or laptop 24/7 and see what people’s about? Having not seen them can’t serve as a strong argument without further information- if Mindy Miller is an expert Appalachia researcher who traveled through all the parts and met everyone in there- which is hardly possible even if he or she really is an Appalachia expert- then this ‘haven’t seen them’ might be a sufficient argument.

The next line will be '...there are backwards people living in these hills, but there are also extremely intelligent people, ..., who live here.'. It’s funny how Mindy Miller’s comment really is a good represent for those upsetting people, since I didn't find any other one more suitable for picked up and shown as an example. Backwards people can also be musicians, artists and civil right leaders. Asians and blacks(seriously, ‘blacks’?That’s word he or she is using to praise them? I’m glad Asians aren’t ‘yellows’) can, or just say were thought as backwards people during periods American history. I do understand what this line is about, but that was a terrible way of expressing it. In this case, Mindy Miller shared the same aspect he or she hated with Stacy Kranitz- no matter what they were trying to say, they made their ‘audience’ misunderstood terribly.

Finally, my personal thoughts over those photos is they are technically and aesthetically nicely finished. However I still understand those upset comments and I think Stacy Kranitz indeed had something to do with them- her title, her ways of describing it, and the platform she chose to display it. If that was intentional, and she was prepared and accepted the consequences, them they are successful samples of art. I think art doesn't and don't have any restrictions, but the maker has to bear the responsibility and risk of her own work.

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sincerelybluevase · 7 years

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So I’ve had some more time to think about the entire incident that happened last Thursday. I’ve decided to put my thoughts down. It is kind of long, so I’ll place it under a cut. These are my thoughts about it. I’ve tried to order them a bit, but I’m afraid they won’t read like a streamlined college essay. Feel free to skip if you are sick of this entire debate.

From a psychological POV, these were an interesting few days. I took time to observe myself, and to entangle the mix of thoughts and emotions I experienced regarding that anonymous ask that pointed out that there were similarities between my fanfics and others. We’re all works in progress, and a bit of time to contemplate what we feel and why is always good.

First off, I’d like to make a bit of a disclaimer. I know a lot of people don’t agree with anon, and have told me so. I really appreciate the kind comments, guys, but I do feel the need to address this issue in a bit more depth, also because I can leave it behind me once I’ve done so. I do not feel like some kind of victim. The anon ask hurt my feelings (which I’ll talk about later), but it’s not as if I’m wallowing in self-pity here. I’m not like those Roman women of old, lying on the floor screaming “Eheu! Me miseram!” whilst beating my breast and tearing out my hair and raking my nails over my face. I do not intend to let this incident put me off writing. Instead, I’d like to turn this entire thing into a lesson to be learned from. What exactly I’ve learned from all of this, I’ll also discuss into more detail later on. I also don’t think that this anon was some kind of troll. In fact, I think they have a bit of a point, though the way they went about bringing it to my attention was, at best, clumsy and thoughtless.

Well, anyway, back to the case. The first thing I felt whilst reading this anon’s ask was shock. I don’t receive a lot of asks, so when I saw I had one that morning, I was pretty excited. I expected it to be an ask on one of those ask posts, or maybe a request for a fic. It was a nasty surprise to read it. I immediately felt ashamed, and guilty, and sad. I don’t want to copy other people’s fics, and the idea that I’d done so without intending to do so was not a nice one. I think you can see this in my answer; it is pretty penitent, and I try to explain why I think it happened, just to show that there was no malicious intent.

I also deleted my Bold Girl (Sometimes) fanfic from ff.net and AO3, because I felt that those works were probably most ‘affected’ by this issue, and I didn’t want people to read them if they were too influenced by other writers. Now, in hindsight, I regret deleting them (they’re still on Tumblr, though). It was a too hasty decision; firstly, because it may have implied that I felt there was a lot of truth to these accusations (which, again in hindsight, I don’t think is the case, though I’m not saying that there’s absolutely no truth to what this anon was trying to point out) and secondly because I was actually pretty proud of those fics (they were my first foray into smut territory, and I think I did get the characterization right+ made some good points about the Turnadette relationship).

Anyway, that ask gave me a shitty day and a shitty night. It made me question my talent as a writer, and my integrity. I’m not a person with a lot of self-confidence, but I did think that my writing was good, or at least had potential. I had started writing fanfic to make sure I actually wrote at all (which, due to crippling self-doubt, was something I had literally not done in years). To be told that it was hardly original was less than ideal. It made me want to stop writing for a day or so, truth be told. This incident also made me realise that I had been rather naïve. When we put art online, whether it is music, or a drawing, or a piece of writing, we inevitably put a little bit of ourselves on display, perhaps without meaning to. Therefore, when those pieces get criticized, it may feel personal. I always need a little time to put emotions to the background when someone criticizes my work, because I have to realise these people are not criticizing me as a person, and probably not even my talent as a writer; they’re simply pointing out flaws in a piece of my work.

It is not as if I had expected to only get positive reviews on my work, but I did not think much about the alternative, either. I’ve never shared my writing with others before, and if I’d put it on the internet, it would only get two notes or something. I was not used to negative reviews, because I was not used to reviews at all. Since I am pretty sensitive, I think I could have done a better job of preparing myself for comments I might not like. After the hurt and shame came anger. I was not angry for someone bringing this issue of similarity to my attention, but I was angry about the way it was done. This ask was sent anonymous, meaning the only way I could respond was by answering it, thus placing it directly on my dashboard. I’d rather this had remained a private thing, but since I don’t even know who this person was, I could only hope they’d see my answer if I placed it on my dashboard. And I do think this was an issue I had to address, especially because it was something I hadn’t realised was happening, and I didn’t want anyone to think otherwise. This did make it an open point for discussion, though. I also feel that the language anon used to get the point across wasn’t very… well, nice. I know the space in an ask is limited, but I’d rather this person had sent me two and taken a bit more care with their wording than this. It is also true that there is no intonation, this being a written message and all. This means that my only clues of interpreting how this person meant it is by looking at their words and what they imply. Now, it is entirely possible I’m reading too much into this, but here we go.

· I think it is somewhat ironic that anon tells me that I’ve been displaying bad fandom manners, when this ask does not show great fandom manners, either (plus it makes me suspicious of everyone and that is hardly nice, because I don’t want to distrust people and I don’t think that is what this anon meant to cause at all).

· Aside from that: by saying ‘Did you ask if you could use their stuff?’ they are implying that the similarities are conscious. They weren’t (assuming they were isn’t very gracious, either, but that’s another matter).

· Now we get to the thing that really bothered me. By saying they are ‘really really similar’ and ending by ‘look forward to more fic from you that’s really your own and not copied from other writers’ anon is not even implying, but directly stating that my fics were not original. I don’t think that is true, and I don’t think that I deserve that.

So, what do I think about the point anon did try to get across?

I started rereading my own fics plus those of the writers mentioned almost feverishly to discover similarities (because gabolange and pellucid did tell me they had noticed little things, and I don’t want that. I want to be an original writer), and I do kind of see where anon is coming from.

· As for scenes: no, I don’t really see that. Fanfic writers have a limited amount of canon they can work with. CtM fanfics often try to fill in the blanks between scenes. The ride to the adoption agency, for example, has been done by many writers. I did some of those ‘common’ scenes, too, and I don’t feel that they are inherently copied. Fanfic is also rife with tropes, as is every art form. I think tropes are a kind of common playground. Say we take the idea that Shelagh and Patrick go on a picnic. That is a trope. It is not wrong for me to use that if, say, kienova already did so. Say she wrote one where Shelagh and Patrick brought wine and strawberries and chocolate with them, and are frolicking in some lonely field, and it ends in steamy sex where Shelagh is covered in chocolate and lets Patrick lick it off. Another writer may write one where Shelagh and Patrick plan a picnic, but the bottle of lemonade breaks and ruins their sandwiches. Then, the car breaks down, and it starts to rain, and in the end they decide to have a picnic in their own living room instead, thus giving the fic a happy ending. Both use the same trope, but their execution is very different. If Kienova wrote the first and inspired me to write the second, would that be copying? I don’t think so. Now, if I read Kienova’s fic and then wrote one where Patrick and Shelagh go and picnic on a hill and decide to have steamy sex involving Shelagh being smothered in whipped cream, that is already a lot more similar, and a whole lot more dubious. In fact, I think anon would have a fair point if they told me it was really really similar, and that I should have asked the author’s permission. But this is also why this ask bothered me so much: I DO feel that I’ve written ‘original’ things, in as far as anything can be called original. My chapter 9 of Lips Touch gave an original twist on the prompt that ‘Doctor T’s car breaks down and Sister B is very upset about it’, I’d say. I think the steamy phone conversation had not been done before, nor was the panic attack trope (credit where credit is due: these were prompts people gave me. I did not come up with the prompts myself, but the way I decided to execute those prompts in my stories was my own), and those are just two examples. I honestly think that some of the fics that are more similar to ones written by the authors mentioned still have original content to them, too.

· As for the language: here, I can see what anon means. I have used certain phrases and images that these other writers also used. Now, here it gets a bit tricky for several reasons. First off: English is my second language. I’m not always aware of an expression not being ‘common ground’. That is not an excuse, but it is a reason for some of the similarities that were not simply two people using a common expression. Second off: I think writers are a bit like magpies; we see something we like, and we take it with us for later use. I don’t always remember where that pretty line came from, or that unusual verb in combination with that noun. Hell, I often don’t even know if it is something I came up with myself, or something I once read. I do know, for example, that Kienova often talks about ‘breath ghosting’. I found that such a great image that I’ve since ‘adopted’ it. I’m using it in my original work a lot too, but you guys don’t get to read that. Is it then wrong for me to also use it in my Turnadette fanfics? I honestly don’t have an answer to that question.

Part of the problem for me is that I read. A LOT. I’ve read 200+ books last year, just to give you an idea. When you read so much, it becomes really hard to keep track of where you got those pretty sentences from (if you even got them from somewhere else, because it is also possible that you came up with something yourself). Thirdly: I think it is a bit hard to say when language becomes copied. Is there such a thing as copyright on language? Obviously you are not supposed to copy entire paragraphs, but what happens if it is only part of a sentence? I think that is a very difficult topic, and a blurry line to draw.

Well, what did I learn from all of this?

· I’m not going to stop writing, guys. I’ve had far too much fun with fanfic, and I still think it is a great way of developing yourself. As you guys might have seen, I’ve also participated in the 5 sentence challenge, and that was great fun.

· I was mainly hurt by the ask because, the way I read it, it did imply that I consciously copied (and that, in turn, seems to apply malicious intent, or a lack of being able to write). That is not the case. There are many reasons for why this ‘copying’ happened (because anon is not just bulshitting). I just wrote too fast and too much in my enthusiasm.

· That being said: I do still feel bad about those similarities. Not to sound arrogant, but I think I’m a good enough writer to be able to write good fics without those. So, I’ll do my best to make sure it won’t happen again. This is going to be hard (because I didn’t know it was happening, for one), but I will try my best.If people have possible ideas on how to achieve this, please let me know.

· I have a very good memory for things I’ve read, apparently. This means I have to take extra care when revising my work to make sure I either generalise things a bit more or use imagery that is my own (as far as I know), thus erasing the influence of other writers.

· Slow down. It is alright to take a long time to write a fic.

· I don’t have to accept every prompt I get. I know that sounds silly, but I’m a pleaser. I loved getting asks, because it showed me that people enjoyed what I’d written so much that they were actually interested in seeing how I handled a certain idea. However, if one person has just written a fic with that same prompt, it may be best to either turn that prompt down, or wait a good while before using it to make sure there are no lingering influences from that other piece of work.

· Also, I think it is a good idea to link to other people’s fics. Say I actually wrote the one about the picnic after reading a fic by Kienova, it is only fair to say where I got my inspiration from. It is also good for the reader, because I’m giving them the link to a piece of writing they might also enjoy and may not have read yet. It’s not as if I’ve never done this before, but promoting other people’s work more is always a great idea.

I do not intend to stop writing. In fact, I think I’ll be back with a new piece fairly soon (after letting it breathe for long enough, of course).

I also don’t want people to feel as if they cannot offer criticism on my work. The only way I can grow as a writer is by getting criticism. However, and I don’t think I am asking something unreasonable here, I would like that criticism to be constructive. Is there a spelling or grammar error? Tell me! Am I using imagery that is plain unfortunate, and of which I’m probably not aware? Tell me! Or is that image something other writers have used before? Tell me; I’m not against people pointing out similarities to me, I’m really not. Do you think this is not the way this character would respond? Again, tell me; we might get into a very interesting and satisfying discussion. So, don’t hesitate to offer valid criticism, but please don’t do it like this anon did.

#personal #again feel free to skip because it is pretty long and probably a bit boring

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amarynceus · 7 years

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Political Blitherings, et c.

Preface 0.1. Politics, race issues, anger. Part venting, part thinking. Below the cut.

Questions? Responses? Acknowledge my right to exist and equal treatment, and I’ll debate almost anything. There’s an ask button, use it. Fail to acknowledge that basic point and we are done, full stop.

Preface: NDN = decendant of indigenous peoples of the continents located between Western and Eastern Eurasia, in case you didn’t know.

Second preface; I hope even if you don’t agree with me on very many things, so long as you agree on my basic premiss, that you will read this through if you care about current events. I’m going to go out on a limb and assume that you already like one or two of the drawings I’ve made, if you’re still watching me at this point.

I’d just like to note that I might be occasionally strident and political from time to time for the next, well, foreseeable future, as long as we have an ACTUAL. FUCKING. TOOL. OF.THE. KREMLIN. IN. WASHINGTON. I would prefer just to paint sailing ships and stupid pones, but times are what they are and people like me are now under attack from my own fucking government in this climate. I love the Socialism. I hate Fascism, Soviet communism, and their various interbred ancestors and descendants, and hate the idea of them growing stronger here.

Creating art is an essentially political act, and don’t let any two-bit neo-nazi pieces of shit tell you otherwise. What difference it makes is debatable, but what isn’t is that silence is complicity. Do not be silent. Do not let others tell you that your fear, that your oppression, that your experience and your identity do not matter. Do not be gaslighted. There are four lights, and let no one tell you otherwise.

My first President, and the last I felt any respect for, was Carter. The first I could vote for was Clinton, and I couldn’t stand him. The first I could actually vote FOR, rather than against, was Obama, and only the first time around. I’m an NDN. I hate the fucking United States, the agent of physical and cultural genocide, that destroyed so much of my people and my culture and my very social fabric. I hate the flag, I hate the government, I hate every shred of this godsdamn pathetic farce of a Republic that has the balls to call itself a Democracy. I want to see the US burn, fall, fail harder than Rome ever did.

But. I still live here. This is my land. My ancestors’ land, ripped away by the white man’s (and woman’s - the white woman’s complicity in colonial oppression is deep and rarely conveyed) violence and greed. We have been here, and I mean my cultural group, the NDNs of the Columbian Plateau, TEN THOUSAND years at a BARE MINIMUM -- even white anthropologists and archæologists, some of the most racist academic disciplines, acknowledge this. When humans in the middle east were first starting to put one sun-fired brick on top of another, we were figuring out how to balance the recources we had and the needs we had. For thousands of years, my people lived a way that did not degrade the land, and did not require war, or conquest, to maintain that way of life. What kind of mis-steps led to such a thing, I do not know - I have long assumed that some kind of gross overharvesting/overexploitation of the available resources led to the realization that resources must be managed, and human populations controlled, if there was to be any balance between humans and the landscape that gives us life.

So. Where am I going? I don’t know. I’ve had a cider and just now a beer. So I’m just expressing at this point, because I’m starting to feel a tiny bit comfortable about my audience here, small (but growing! thank you!) as it is.

Basically, silence is no longer an option at this point. Those of you still in your early twenties or so (I don’t want to assume, but demographics say almost half of you are under 24), might not really get what an important place we stand in, right now. But let me say this directly right now. Even if you’re well aware of it.

All of our values, and all of the values our founding folks held (regardless of their hypocrisies or defects, etc., etc.) are under attack right now. The very essence of what is a ‘fact’ is under assault right now. Science is under assault now. People who are not white, straight, and devoted to the myth that this is a white, straight nation are under attack right now.

If you’re white, stop criticising the anger and rage of POC right now. If you’re male, stop criticising the anger and rage of women right now. If you’re a Nazi, kindly fuck off and live in the most excruciatingly painful manner possible. If you see a Nazi get punched in the face and you say ‘well, but...’ fucking ditto, I have no time for your temporizing. Say ‘well, but...’ one more time, and as a lifelong pacifist who has never yet dirtied their knuckles on anything more offensive than a sheetrock wall, I will happily break your nose and dislocate your testicles, free of charge.

We need to pull together. I’ll say for one time, and hopefully one time only, I have a hard time with white liberals. I’ve been betrayed so many times by them. But we do need you to come to your senses and stop attacking the rest of us who are now genuinely under threat. Unless you thrust the topic under my nose, I don’t intend to bring it up again (might RB stuff about it tho). But y’all have had the reins for centuries now, sit down, shut up, and listen. And that’s the end of that topic.

We all have our own concerns. I’m not exactly proud, but I have a difficult time in a lot of political debates concerning race, due to the fact that NDNs are consistently shut out. I try my best to rally myself behind other folks’ suffering, but when it’s usually <this group this group us us us us> or <that group that group me me me me> one gets left on the sidelines sometimes, it is true. Trumping another victim’s card with your own weighty suit is bullshit, though. The IDEA of the White Man has fucked us all.

Let me come back to that, because I think it’s important.

THE IDEA OF THE WHITE MAN HAS FUCKED US ALL.

The IDEA of unique importance. The IDEA of a special place in history and destiny. The very IDEA of anyone being inferiour. The IDEA of a mandate over others not of our own people. The IDEA of absolute rule. The IDEA of divine right. The IDEA that being stronger and more violent has anything to do with superiority.

Sadly, all of these are pretty much true of us all, regardless of time or place. Humans are pretty shitty. But a certain concatenation of events conspired to place white European males at the temporary top of the heap of worldwide power intrigue, and they went fucking crazy with it. Crazy in a way that the world has never before seen sort of crazy, setting aside all those cautionary tales of Mu or Atlantea or whatever. Crazy as in this-single-way-to-live-is-the-only-way-or-else-I’ll-kill-you sort of way (which is, sadly, almost universal). Whether it be the worship this dead man on a stick or die, or dig gold or die, or slave-in-the-fields-because-you-happen-to-be-darker-than-me-therefore-you-deserve-to-die-horribly-because-this-guy-who-has-the-building-with-the-gold-but-don’t-die-until-I’ve-extracted-every-last-bit-of-labour-I-can-without-expending-any-capital-or-indeed-meaningful-effort-of-my-own.

Again, do I have structure here? No. I don’t care about structure. I’m fed up with being constrained on discourse. I’m done with letting conventional liberals, white or not, dictate the path and the method by which I expound ideas and express my emotions. I’ve had a Cider and a Beer, and these days that’s about enough to make it slightly difficult to type straight and copy-edit as I go. Make that two Beers as I’m half through with the second. I’m just done with excessive self-restraint in general - though that’s my limit with drinks.

I think that’s my limit on discourse here, though. I streamed all day, and chatted all day, which was fucking awesome (seriously, you know who you are, I appreciate your support and your interest). I’m worn out -- by now some of you know fairly well just why that is, and in time all of you who stick around will. Like so many who differ from the norm, I’m tired of defending the very basics of rational discourse. I’m tired of Nazis. I’m tired of Nazi sympathizers. I’m tired of racists. I’m tired of those who will ally themselves with racists to further their own worldviews. I’m tired of White Liberals who try to balance everything because it all comes out of a fucking Textbook and -- well, I’d disgrace myself totally and forfeit any right whatsoever to rational discourse if I posted the clauses I just deleted. D: Let’s just wrap that up and say I’m tired. Unless you’ve got a serious legacy of oppression and trauma in your own life as well as your family’s -- this is the time to shut up, sit down, support, and spread your ears wide fucking open.

You might be ‘white’ right now and you might have this shitty legacy of oppression, too. It’s important to realize that ‘race’ is such an arbitrary constrict -- a good modern starting point is ‘Whiteness of a Different Colour’ (ISBN-13: 978-0674951914) -- and that many of you that might be considered ‘white’ now weren’t ‘white’ a mere century or less ago. If you’re of Irish, or Scottish, or Italian, or any country with any modicum of Catholicism, or anywhere near Poland at all (for fuck’s sake I want the US to burn but I wish I could apologise for those Polish jokes), I hope you’re nodding right now. ‘Whiteness’ has always been a fluid definition, subject to the convenience of those who are in power. Sometimes you’re in, sometimes you’re out. A lot of people last year were convinced along these lines, alas. Especially white women -- it’s hard to say, but I am deeply disappointed in any gender whose space I drift into regularly --- where’s my fucking third option, thank you very much, please, reality, let LeGuin’s writing instantiate. The amount of white women who voted for a... thing that despised their very gender was, quite frankly, so astonishing, even disgusting, that it was hard to credit.

So at this point I think it’s important to distinguish between two groups: those that explicitly benefit form the current regime, and those who don’t. Establishing the basic premiss that I’m not particularly inclined to either nuance or compromise at this point, I think I can draw the lines thus:

With the Orange one are Nazis (or Neo-Nazis if you want to split hairs, I see zero fucking difference), other forms of White Nationalists, the KKK, Kremlin sympathizers, and a general cadre of the most ignorant and least qualified set of people ever set to take government positions, even factoring in the presidencies of Grant and Hoover. These people deny science, deny facts, deny the right of people like me to exist. I don’t believe in anything but the serious danger of absolute belief. But I do trust and have some shred, some modicum of faith, one might even go so far as to say, in scientific method, rational skepticism, tolerance, and love.

These people that are scrabbling for the levers of power have none of these things. They want unquestioning obedience, slavish devotion, denial of diversity. They want us to believe their lies, their ‘alternative facts’ or whatever the shit was that’s so ridiculous my fore-brain refuses to scrabble for the correct terminology.

But this isn’t the 1920s or the 1930s. Remember that the well-nigh universal lesson from that time regarding Fascism is that people didn’t strike back hard enough, fast enough, strong enough. Don’t succumb to the idea that it’s worth your while to debate people who don’t accept your simple existence and your equal rights as a basic, fundamental point. If they don’t, punch them if you can. Or find a bigger friend to punch them. Kick them in the balls -- most of these Nazis have balls, I know not how -- or hit them with a bat, or a bat with nails in.

Remember.

If.

They.

Do.

Not.

Unconditionally.

Acknowledge.

Your.

Right.

To.

Exist.

As.

Basic.

Premise.

There.

Is.

No.

Intellectual.

Debate.

Nazis and their ilk don’t want people like me, or many of you, to even exist. (I look at every follower’s profile, you delightful people and sometimes perverts [me too, no worries - even some aces get saucy every few dozen moons or so! I love you all, apart from those strange porn blogs, I don’t draw naked anything yet, please go away.]) Even after deflecting myself there, I re-emphasize that:

DEBATE CAN ONLY OCCUR WHEN BOTH PARTIES AGREE TO A CERTAIN SET OF FACTS AND PHILOSOPHICAL PREMISES. Foremost in 2017 being: an acceptance of the scientific method and of the complexities and conclusions of modern science, an acceptance to the basic freedoms of the press and of political discourse as established from our flawed founding fuckers to the current day, and an acceptance of the basic rights of all human beings irrespective of ethnicity, gender, or sexual orientation.

Anyone who can’t agree to this basic, fundamental, and fundamentally inoffensive set of premises is not worth your time or energy. If they try and throw sand in your face, avert them. If they put up a mask of civility, state the basics and deflect them. If they assault or insult you, ignore them, or if appropriate, punch them -- at this point, they deserve it. As a life-long pacifist -- they so deserve it.

Keep your thumb outside of your fingers, please. I want you to be able to draw even after you punch Nazis.

Remember:

Anyone who does not acknowledge your right to exist has not established the most fundamental level of Rational Discourse.

I’ll try as best I can to keep this blog to mainly just art, but I refuse and reject all notions that I should keep politics out of my art. The act of intentionally creating a piece of art is an essentially political act, it always has been, and it always shall be.

On that point, I’ll allow one exchange to give you a chance before I block your arse on whatever platform. I DGAF about followers, sales, or bottom lines, tiny though they may be. All I want are people who I can have a rational discourse with.

I wish I could say I’m sorry to be so angry.

I am absolutely not

. I refuse to let my anger dominate my day to day living, but I also refuse to put it aside, and I think you should too. Don’t let go of that anger, but don’t let it eat your heart (it will eviscerate you in a breath if you let it.) Forge it into a sword, into a shield, into a bow and arrows to give cover to your loved ones. This is not a time for complacency, for conciliation for those who would not have us live at all. Recognize that there is a point at which rational debate has come to an end, that there are those who want us dead and are not at all joking with all those oven threats. NAZIS FUCKING EXIST RIGHT NOW. Just as their vile counterparts have existed at so many times throughout history.I could name to you ancestors that were killed, or sent to prison, or locked in mad-houses, or worse, simply because they were NDN and said that we should have rights, that we should be treated like human beings, that we DESERVED to EXIST. I have zero patience for the establishment or the White Man in Washington. I have some patience for the White Woman, even though they have often been a worse oppressor than the Man (seriously -- look at the treatment of ‘Natives’ in ‘America’ and Indians in India in the periods when it was just the by far majority male explorers, trappers, traders, etc, compared to when the women come in -- rapid swings between Tolerance and Accomodation, to Prejudice and Exclusion, all overcome with the Sickening Sweet Smell of Straight-Laced Biblical Morality and okay I can’t go on, if you are still reading I haven’t completely offended you and I would honestly not prefer to do so excessively.) but it’s really hard to trust in straight white women at this point. So many sold us out to a self-confessed ‘p*ssy grabber’ in November. ANYWAY. Anger blah blah arg razzle frazzle argiuhalsdkfgjalkdfgjh lasidfuyao psidgyoiasdygoi asydfgo iasdygpoiasdo et cetera, et cetera, et. cetera. yeah. welcome to 2017. Let’s all go punch Nazis. Or, if we can’t punch Nazis, let’s all support those who do. Because what’s more American than punching a Nazi in his (or her) Godsdamned face.

#blah blah #not art #punch nazis #punch nazis in the face #always and forever

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raystart · 6 years

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Design Debate: Have New Tech Innovations Made Work Life Easier or Harder?

In our newest design debate, Martin Lorenz, Marina Esmeraldo, and Fredrik Öst weigh on in the impact technology has on creativity. Ready, set, debate.

“In a way, we were only able to become a studio because of the internet. We were able to work with people that we never physically met.”—Martin Lorenz, Co-founder & Graphic Designer, Twopoints.net

When we opened our studio in 2007, TwoPoints.Net wasn’t known, and we didn’t have any clients yet. It was only when we met some friends from Harvard that we started to get a lot of jobs from the United States. Without the internet, it wouldn’t have been possible for our network in America to grow, though, or for us to be able to design for U.S.-based clients while living in Germany and Spain.

In a way, we were only able to become a studio because of the internet. We were able to work with people that we never physically met. To this day, we still haven’t met some of our clients.

We really don’t have many local clients; instead we have international ones – a lot in the USA and in Asia. These days, it doesn’t matter where you live; it’s more about the networks you enter. It helps, of course, that Lupi, Elio, and I speak English, Spanish, and German. This internationalism makes our job much more interesting. We learn so much from every client, and sometimes it is very surprising to see how our work is perceived in different cultures and contexts. The things that we design for clients in the U.S. are received in a different way from how they are received in Europe, but that’s sometimes the exact reason why they hire us and not a local designer.

Practically, of course, the design process is much easier today, too, especially if you’re working across different continents. Once upon a time, designing could be a real pain, let alone if you were working for someone abroad.

We share a Dropbox folder with clients in America and Asia so that everyone is always up to date. There’s no delay anymore.

I remember having to work with low-res images in order to be able to work quickly and efficiently, and then, before the files were sent to the printer, replacing them with high-res images. Sending files to the printer was a whole different thing too. We had to burn CD-ROMs and send them across the city with a messenger. Then the printer would return proofs, and if there was something wrong, we had to change the print files, burn another CD, and send it off with a messenger again.

Later we started to use FTP servers, which made life easier, but it was still a pain when you had to upload large documents. It could take days. Fast internet connections, Dropbox, Google Drive, WeTransfer, etc. made our life much more simple. We share a Dropbox folder with clients in America and Asia so that everyone is always up to date. When we are done, we just share a link with the printer. There’s no delay anymore.

For our clients, it doesn’t matter that we’re in Germany and Spain and they’re in New York, or Los Angeles, or Tokyo. It doesn’t matter that we have a team member working from Spain either – in fact, it’s especially good for us because we work with a great printer there. Having our team split across two cities isn’t a problem at all – it’s almost like they’re sitting at the desk beside us because of all the new technologies and programs, when in fact they’re on the other side of Europe.

The internet has become so common that we hardly even think about it anymore; it’s like an extension of the office. People don’t say, ‘Now I am going to sit down and use the internet.’ You’re just constantly using it. And it’s because it’s become so natural to the working process that international clients have been able to trust us, and that’s been one of the most important things that’s allowed us to do what we do. Being able to trust someone on the other side of the world with your design process wouldn’t have been possible 15 years ago.”

“The problem is that you have to be on social media constantly. I personally became very addicted to Instagram.”—Marina Esmeraldo, Illustrator

Consistent and long-term self-promotion through social media has been really crucial for my freelance business. The problem, though, is that you have to be on it constantly. The thing with social media is that it’s designed to be addictive. I personally became very addicted to Instagram. I became disillusioned with Facebook and Twitter because of all the political drama, and it felt quite organic getting off those platforms. But Instagram always seemed like the fun place to be, and it’s been hard to disconnect and reduce my usage.When the algorithm change was implemented, everyone started to freak out about whether their content was getting seen. All these ‘marketing specialists’ began popping up, who said things like ‘You have to post every day’ and ‘You have to use hashtags.’ There was this whole narrative about how you have to be on it constantly to get the best out of it, and that’s partly how my obsession started to kick in. I would justify that I needed social media for work.

I was using Instagram in the morning, on my breaks, and before bed. It was bad for my mental health I was never off.

And at every moment of pause, I would get on Instagram. It becomes a real black hole of time and energy. You tell yourself you’re going on to see what everyone is up to, to get inspired, and you end up tricking yourself into thinking it’s research. But really, it’s an energy drain. I was using Instagram in the morning as an excuse to wake up. I was using it on my breaks. And I was using it before bed. It was bad for my mental health because it meant I was always working. I was never, never off.

I began feeling really unhappy. I felt like I was constantly looking at all the beautiful things that other people were making and all the amazing trips that people were going on, and even though I was rationally aware of how good my life was, the brain often latches onto the negative. After a while, I realized I had to decrease the time I was spending on the platform. Because I was aware of the damaging effects, one day I just looked at my phone and deleted the app. It wasn’t planned. I needed a break. I ended up taking a 47-day detox.

My work improved immensely, and immediately. We are so connected with our peers and our history all the time that it’s easy to regurgitate what everyone else is doing. I always make an effort to filter influences, but after a certain amount of exposure, trends do trickle into your subconscious. The fact that I was making an effort to insulate myself gave new life to my ideas: I felt more original because I had to dig deeper.

It’s easy to fill up empty spaces with noise, but the empty spaces are important.

During my detox, I remember waiting for a friend at the Barbican in London. He was late, and normally I would have just been scrolling through my phone, but I didn’t have that option so I went into the bookshop and bought a notebook and a pen. I went into the courtyard and started drawing lots of things. It was a complete revelation. It’s ridiculous in a way: I’m an illustrator and I studied architecture; we used to do observational drawings all the time. But I’ve become so accustomed to drawing digitally that sometimes I just skip the analog part of the process altogether.

Through that experience and others like it, I’ve realized that I need time with myself and without online chatter. As well as Instagram, I’ve been obsessed with podcasts recently, too, and after a while I realized that during every moment of silence I was putting a podcast on. Today it’s so easy to fill up empty spaces with noise, but the empty spaces are important. As a creative, it’s the time where your brain makes fresh connections.

“At Studio Snask, we create all our models by hand. People often say, ‘I could have done that with the computer much faster,’ but we find that building our sets creates a far more refined design.”—Fredrik Öst, Founder & Creative Director, Studio Snask

Digital tools have become so good and so ubiquitous that there’s a tendency to use them for every part of the creative process. That’s not necessarily a great thing, though: It might hinder your full potential. In the creative industry, technology today tends to be used as if it’s more than simply a tool. It becomes unanimous with all stages of the design process: a place for gathering inspiration, for sketching, and then for completing a project.

When I was at art school, my university told me that we weren’t going to use the computer for the first year. I was like: ‘What?! That isn’t how this is supposed to be!’ I had this assumption that all graphic design was made on a screen. Then I realized that the computer is just one of many tools. You need it today because you need to make things digital, but you can choose how much you want to work with it.

Who wants to be a machine, working as efficiently as possible?

At Studio Snask, we create all our models by hand. People often say, ‘I could have done that with the computer much faster,’ but we find that building our sets creates a far more refined design. We start all projects by sketching by hand, then we scan the image to get it into the computer and keep designing from there. Then we take it out of the computer again, and build it physically to photograph. Finally, we put it back into the computer to deliver it. In that way, the computer is just one step in the process and doesn’t dictate what we create.

For a motion video, for example, having a physical piece of artwork in front of us is a far better way of working. We can move elements around with our hands. In a 3-D modeling program, you can’t see the final outcome initially because you have to keep rendering it, which can take a long time. And even if rendering becomes faster in the future, for Studio Snask, moving physical elements is part of how we create. Who wants to be a machine, working as efficiently as possible? In creativity, you need the time to reflect. I don’t want to live in a society where art or music or film is produced within a few days, because that’s not how high-quality work comes into being.

Back in the day, photographers used to take loads of photos, and just a few would turn out how they wanted them to. Now, of course, we can be much more precise. But back then, unexpected things could happen. Now you have an image in your head, you look through the screen of a camera, and then you snap it quickly. It’s done. At Studio Snask, when we take a photograph, we first get the perfect shot and then we make the time to screw up some pictures for a bit. We do this because often something more interesting might happen that way. In these situations, the final picture that we select is often one of the messed-up ones. When you’re constantly looking at a screen on a camera to get the perfect shot, you might forget that you can also make mistakes, and that interesting things can come from that.

We always ensure that we give ourselves time for something we didn’t plan for. One must remember that tools are just one aspect of the design process; making mistakes – and playing around – is also vital. If you’re working with creativity, you have to disconnect in order to go back to things with fresh eyes.

#startups #text #startup #advice #busieness #howto #news #tech #love

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