#like it wouldnt have been racist to ask that at all

[ink-the-artist]

forgive me if you've been asked this before or if its annoying, but how did you learn to use colored pencils like that? your art is so special to me.

ty :) I took an art class for a few years where our teacher had us buy prismacolor pencils as one of the art supplies and had us use them kinda like paints, pressing down hard right away and blending the colors together. its not how youre supposed to use them she was just trying to teach us to use color and ig this was more to the point. I picked them up again years after i stopped going to that class just bc they were there and i wanted to play around w them a bit and ended up actually enjoying it when doing it on my own terms lol

#it was a weird class #it was just this russian lady doing private lessons in her house that my mom learned about somehow #I did NOT like those classes all we did was still life and they were hours long which is esp rough when im in high school and busy #and she wanted us to stand while working the whole time bc tradition i guess? #she did allow me to work sitting but thought i was lazy for it. idk dude i dont want to exhaust myself fast for no reason #standing is a lot more tiring than walking #i def did still benefit from those classes just from learning to accurately draw from life #did not like the teacher tho #on one hand shed paid for the art supplies for kids whos families were too poor to (and these are nice expensive supplies) #which is very nice #but on the other she was very homophobic and open about it #like when they legalized gay marriage she went on a rant about how horrible it is that they can adopt kids now #and also kind of racist #she was telling me how she got blocked from a facebook group bc she made a post asking if she could speak to a white person #and she didnt realize she was posting that publicly she thought it was a private message to the group owner #im honestly still not sure i heard/understood her correctly bc it was so bizzare and the only time i ever remember her being racist #she talked abt it like she genuienly was unaware it was racist #she described it as a misunderstanding bc she accidentally posted it publicly instead of privately #like it wouldnt have been racist to ask that at all #also one time she talked about how she saw demons in her home once #also she doesnt vaccinate her kids bc of microchips #she was like a walking russian stereotype lol #anyway heres some ink the artist lore

[claratyler]

what did pj do /genq

he posted a video with pewdiepie a few days ago. Needless to say it gave me whiplash to see that in my youtube recommendations.. but it's more shocking to me to see that everyone was enjoying the video in the comments. or that here on tumblr, people have continued to post about pj completely ignoring the fact that he's out here collabing with Mr Notoriously Racist Youtuber

#why is no one talking about this #hello am i insane? listen if everyone were talking about this i wouldnt be but literally #it's genuinely shocking that nobody gives a fuck #yes that part of youtube is incredibly white but by god. i guess people cross over to tolerating the racism like its nothing #i mean there have been things in all these youtuber's channels that have aged poorly or rather were never really okay #yes even with the phantastic foursome yes even them #but honestly i wasnt going to make a post outlining all the shit bc whats the point? maybe people learn and grow #and none of it was pewdiepie levels #but to make a video with that man in 2024?? its not just a bad joke from 2011 you know what i mean? #it just seems so easy to me to just Not make a video with mr notoriously racist #and it also seems so easy to me to just not gloss over the implications of that as fans #bc it will interrupt your 'stan' posting or whatever #im just genuinely shocked that nobody sees something very off with this? #no one's bothered? do we not remember how bad pewdiepie was?? #average youtube fans will tear a man to shreds for plagiarism but they can forgive racism (insert that one meme here) #anyway yea. those are just my thoughts #i guess theres a reason i stay out of youtube fandoms bc yikes #anon #asks #kickthepj

[a-punchline-on-duct-tape]

im so freaking happy you're punjabi too because this has been sitting in my brain wayy too long, but could i request a punjabi!reader x dallas winston except shes sassy asf and has hella nakhre except he handles it perfectly. thanks!

desi/punjabi!reader x dallas winston hc's

A/N : yes, yes, and yes.

~

firstly, dallas winston is not racist. some of yall are insane with your headcanons

dallas winston could truthfully care less about any background his partner is

now that ive established this, let me continue

~

he finds it so incredibly hot whenever you say something, ANYTHING in a different language.

you could call him a 'bandar' (monkey) and he would still find it hot

"what does that mean, huh? you callin' me handsome?"

not much to do except roll your eyes in dismay as well as secretly find it cute

one time, he saw you wearing a suit/lengha/sari (whatever you like)

he almost went insane

like gen jaw dropped and everything

"when'd you start wearing stuff like that?"

"y'should wear it more often, doll."

as far as nakhre goes, he finds it attractive, and he learns over time how to shut it down

he doesnt understand how to shut it down if your really cussing him out in punjabi

“bhonkana band karja.”

“love you too.”

i have a whole other hc that johnny is punjabi (or desi in general)

so, it is a common occurence to see dallas asking johnny what random stuff means

johnny cant translate half the time bcs dallas cant pronounce half of it correct

whenever you do say something nice, it flies over his head

the only thing he understands is nice is ‘meri jaan’ (my life / my beloved)

he likes that one

one time, he came over to your house during winter, probably to hang out cuddle but dallas winston doesnt ‘cuddle’, and your bed had one of those thick floral kambals

(one of these bad boys right here)

he swears hes never slept better in his whole life

he probably stole one of those blankets from your mother

speaking of parents

if your parents are immigrants, hes borderline scared of them (even if he’d never admit it)

hes realistically horrified of your dad, even if your parents allow you to date

hes probably cool with your mom, however

your mom would probably sit there and hand feed him roti and refer to him as ‘beta’ / ‘puthar’

punjabi/desi moms are soo sarcastic its not even funny

dallas winston has the exact same humor as your mom its insane

hes definitely attended at least one family function

got forced to try and dance at some point before he totally swore off dancing

he really likes gol gappe but hes really bad at eating it in one bite

got forced to sit at the kids table

got drunk with all the chachas and mamas (lets be fr)

overall your family likes him

thinks its absolutely stupid how you only wear gold jewelry

although, you make an exception for the st. christopher necklace, to which he is grateful for

if you have a hard to pronounce name, he’d spend too much time trying to say it right

realistically he finds food wayy too spicy, but he’ll tolerate some things

he wouldnt like chai

which you find insane

overall you two are so cute and happy together 10/10 couple right here

#the outsiders #theoutsiders #outsiders headcanons #dallas winston #curly shepard #angela shepard #ponyboy curtis #ponyboy headcanons #that was then this is now #the outsiders sodapop #bryon douglas #the outsiders dally #dally winston #dally #do it for johnny #darry curtis #dallas winston x reader #dallas winston smut #dallaswinston #buck merrill #johnny cade headcanons #buck merrill headcanons #sodapop headcanons #dallaswinston headcanons #dally headcanons #dallas winston headcanons #headcanons #the outsiders headcanons #the outsiders johnny #the outsiders ponyboy

[cure-typhoon]

Part 2 of this post where someone asked me to talk more about the beta trolls friendships and now you are all stuck with me on this multiple-post adventure :3 how long ago anyway?? well heres a link to it

Also something i forgot to mention, I'm using this archive by tumblr user @ eridan-ampora, if some of the dialogue screenshots have a white background, is because its from the documents and not the Homestuck site (as theyre from a flash and more complicated to find in the site lol)

Anyway back to where we left, Eridan and Kanaya!

Their friendship is very much, how do i say it, antagonistic? Its similar to Sollux's and Karkat's where they throw insults at eachother but with these two it actually feels like their are annoyed at the other, Eridan's constant nagging at Kanaya to try to get her to help him with his ex

And Kanaya dont caring that much about Eridan's whining, a combination of already knowing the worlds is going to end and just dont caring about him going off in his racist ranting and probably because he has been bothering her for sweeps.

(Not?) that surprisingly, as a hero of hope, Eridan believes her instantly when she tells him about the end of the world. He has some type of appreciation/knowledge about her because he knew she wouldnt lie about that

He then proceeds to insult her again, they remind me of when your in a family reunion and are stuck babysitting the youngest spoiled annoying cousin in the family

She even taunts him, lying saying that Feferi has a crush on him just after he confesses he knows she doesnt tend to lie about that stuff and he believes for a minute before realizing ''oh she's fucking with me''

Its kinda funny, like he is very annoying but theyre like, kinda friends??? he definitly see's her as one even if he is such a dick about it. He even tries to give her advice so her (possible) relationship with Vriska doesnt ends up as just them being moirails.

They have a short kinda sweet talk RIGHT BEFORE he gets into a fight with Sollux and it sucks so much how it seemed like they would had become better friends, as he seemed less of an asshole, but at the same time, its also really scummy of him?

He already had the plan of joining Bec Noir and he never mentions Kanaya joining them, so he knew that he would kill Kanaya and he decided to do it in the worst way possible by destroying her hopes first and then killing her. Absolutely horrible i hate this, no wonder she doesnt pull back

Probably no the best sequel to the ''the beta trolls friendships'' post considering how it ends, but im not lying about their relationship lol hopefully next time i wont take that long to do a sequel to this one

#homestuck #beta trolls #kanaya maryam #eridan ampora

[baby-xemnas]

love reading ur thoughts always but just also thinking about bepo being somewhat attractive to others in their teenage years/some Other party expressing interest in bepo and law would have lost his entire shit. a miracle he didn't face sth like that, but the jealous rage for sure wouldve been so ugly...fierce and drastic realisation of how much he wants bepo and also how possessive he is. bepo is too special.

THANK YOUUUUUUUU and thank you for giving me more food to ramble about haha ♥♥

OH GOD YEAH ABSOLUTELY there have to have been an INCIDENT or two of that. law wouldve gone through a lot of emotions in that moment, especially when it happened for the first time

(id imagine the mob chara would presume that bepo is gonna be a good aggressive fuck lol, just judging by the looks. oh they couldnt be more wrong)

>first glance law assuming someone is talking to bepo because they are being either quirky racist (wow a walking talking bear!!) or actually negative sort of interest - that they all experienced and are kind of expecting at that point (expecting it so they can jump to bepo's aid and comfort him)

>seeing that its NOT. THAT. but instead someone standing uncomfortably close clearly trying to flirt, seeing so much discomfort on bepo's face - who in turn wouldnt be a crybaby in the face of a stranger no, he is stronger than that now! but he would be surprised and not really know how to handle THIS situation...bepo never got this kind of attention before he has no idea how to handle it. hes trying to answer semi-politely because he isnt aware that he needs to be very curt and direct..he feels SO strange hes just standing there taking unwanted sexual advances LOL

honestly be it a woman or a gay man i would picture law would act the same - the few words he would spare them before dragging bepo away would be laced with SO much venom and contempt, it would scare the shit out of bepo who's just standing there. technically being saved so he is in no way is the target of captain's anger (even tho bepo would think in those seconds that law is mad at him too, he would feel bad that he ended up in that situation even tho its not his fault at all. whatever discomfort he felt previously than fear of upsetting law, now THAT actually makes him want to cry a little)

law wants to take his hand but thinks that this person doesnt deserve to see how important bepo is to him... so he says that they are going back and walks next to bepo who is more shaken by seeing law's reaction than he is by the initial incident he thanks law the moment they go outside and its quiet and him saying "thank you captain" somehow sounds too formal to law's ears. somehow this "captain" sounds like his actual rank and not the usual cute way bepo calls him like its a nickname or a familial title.

its so jarring to hear bepo sound like a detached subordinate and not his treasured best friend, law has to look up at bepo who ofc is just looking at the ground in front of himself as he walks. law's mind draws a blank for a few long moments because he still needs a little time to calm down. he havent processed his own emotions yet it happened too fast. Yes of course he was reacting to that nobody making bepo uncomfortable of course. But...he the possibility that someone who is NOT HIM could be intimate with bepo shot through him like a lightning.

whole time law is having his crisis bepo is thinking about how he should apologize without making law even more angry..he is so scared to break the silence. poor thing. he forgot all about that mob chara thats lightyears away, its all law now

law would get his attention by calling his name and it suddenly feels so awkward...its so cringe but he asks if bepo wants to talk about it - curses himself that he isnt penguin and shachi who would laugh a situation like this off, they are much better than him at handling these things

bepo didnt hear the question he immediately goes IM SORRY CAPTAIN and law is surprised what on earth are you sorry for bepo: you...um. well you had to come in and save me so im sorry for causing you trouble law:...............its not troublesome for me to help you so dont apologize.. (and he says it kind of in a soft unsure tone because??? what the hell....bepo its not about him.ffs)

and bepo feels so relieved because he was holding on that tension for so much of their walk not knowing what law is thinking about (he was thinkin about eating you whole, boy) that he smiles and it snaps the rubber band of tension law was holding onto himself and he gets so full of affection for bepo it kind of goes to his head and all the way south making him horny...its somehow ended up being a romantic scene that he wants to take him apart now...reaffirming to bepo that nobody would ever be better than him. law was challenged he has to prove himself now.....

law knowing but now staring straight in the face to the fact that bepo is SO special and so important. noone has the RIGHT to know because they could never understand JUST HOW SPECIAL AND VALUABLE HE IS

#anonymous #lawbepo #btw im so sorry if these are hard to read cuz i use so little punctuation

[absolutebitchgetter]

The problems of CS. Combined in one.

Since the CS ninjas are onto me, i shant give up. You will forever hear the tunes of the rumours of ABG'S unbanning.

Heres all the CS posts i can find:

All of this might share the same topic, and thats a feature of how Comic Studio doesnt - or probably will never - fix its problems. Insane. I know. However, why am i not giving up if we cant fix it?

To save people's sanity.

Im trying to get unbanned so i can prove i am trying to become a better person, and save people's mental health by pointing out thr flaws in:

-moderation

-people

-studios

-controversy

-kids

Its honestly pretty scary how kids are exposed to Jayst- i mean the toxicity of comic studio, and also how the experienced CS users are saying its worse than fucking Twitter.

Where can i begin with the fucking moderation? Where were they when i was getting banned? One is treated like an angel after the fucking outrageous calls he does. How long was i banned? 8 months? Yes. 8 Fucking Months. Above Half a year. One has literally made DOXXING JOKES TO ME and made me fear for my life. One in the cs discord takes someone elses side when i ask for a spoiler for Binding of Isaac (a pretty scary game). One is just fucking horrible at moderation. And one is probably biased after i did a few too many pings in a server. A server i owned btw, no one stopped me. You know who you are. :)

To name a few very shit studios,

-Probably fucking most of them

Probably 10% of the studios get used.

And a lot of them are just fucking shit.

We have a fucking NICK JR studio for like 2 YEAR OLDS.

When is there a fucking Despicable Me comic studio?

To name types of people:

Suspected pedophiles

probably pedophiles

pedophiles

nazis

racists

homophobes

transphobes

xenophobes

sexists

anti semetic

Jokes aside tho there are lot of people i named that are actually one of the things above. There are also lots of fucking toxic people.

To my next point

popular beats all apparently

If your popular, dont fear of being banned! You fucking wont be!

I can name, a shit ton of people that should be banned but wouldnt because they have a shit ton of followers and that would get a lot of people to quit the site.

-Puffyy (Should i say more?)

-Jaystar (☠️)

-Onion_Rabbit (Threw about users like hell, faked harassment, legit got people to witchhunt me (December 2022), was toxic to me before i got banned (unfairly) (July 2023)

-Deathzy (A fucking mpreg and sex comic untagged, did the same as Onion_Rabbit July 2023, has known cases of being cocky as fuck when they get their way)

-SarahKomik (Has threw about users under the bus pretending to victimise themselves over the slightest of out of context things. The current situation with Oka is one.)

-Zappy (The same as above.)

Theres a lot more! Holy fuck

This community has a complete fucking hivemind too.

When popular users say "this person has done something bad (slightly or horrible) target them guys" and when they say "dont harass this person pls" they're praying that the mods dont fucking mob them. Oh wait.

Its like a lot of people have pointed out popular beats all!

Also, this is how people say "fuck the rules" (e.g, Oka and me)

If you have any problems, comment it, You probably shouldnt have but if your a snowflake, combat me.

Oh yeah i also forgot Tammy got knocked about like the school thot at summer time with the football team. They need apologising yall. This is the reason why people quit, my point above. Tammy quitting is one of the worst things to happen to CS.

#comic studio #is fucking balls #and this one is for the champions #your mother #monke #cold monkey in the freezing cold weather someone save him

[genlossneg]

ok. i didnt mind genloss, it was ranboos first massive project, theyre only 19 and a streamer, ok. but oh my god would it kill to take an improv class. the first 2 episodes felt like an snl skit. especially when it was branded as original and then was just some sort of frankenstein of different horror tropes from ranboos favourite horror media, that just reminded me of snl stealing joel havers skit lmao.

there were so much issues with it and i feel like i wouldnt mind as much if it was branded as a horror comedy a few months before the show, not 3 days before the show. a few months before and the weeks leading up to may 24th, it was branded as "you arent ready for this. this is groundbreaking, nothing will ever be the same after this show. this is serious." etc and then i think it was like 3 days before may 24th there was that fucking showfall media psa that just felt like ranboo saying "oh btw its a comedy" without warning it caught me so off gaurd lmao.

then he streamed after that sfm psa released and, if i remember right, people were asking about it being a horror comedy in chat and ranboo was like "well yeah obviously did u think id make a project 100% serious? no lol" (dont quote me on that though its been a while) now theyre saying gen 0 and gen 2 are going to be completely horror now, but i dont think thats true bc they also said gen 1 was mostly horror and none of it is

speaking of, the advertising was just lies lol. the whole "little to no filler :D" thing. it wasnt like ranboo didnt expect the improv to last that long bc the expected runtimes (from their tumblr post on may 23rd i think) were sometimes longer than the actual ones. 1st ep was meant to be 1-2 hours, it was 1 and a half, so that much filler and standing around going "what the hell man" was PLANNED. they just lied about no filler to make people excited. just be funny and i wont mind the filler. i like sneegs humour in his streams but here he was just bickering with ranboo. same with ranboo to charlie, charlie was the only one making actual jokes so when ranboo and sneeg were alone it was just "wait so why didnt you just-" "well idk i thought u woul-" "well why would i-" and when i tell you it drained my soul.

ive been a massive ranboo fan for about a year (im recovering dw), and after the game theory episode i got really hyperfixated on genloss (up until the sfm keynote thing i think). i was hyped for it back when T_1 was the only thing released for genloss, and followed it all the way up to the streams. i watched them live and my face was just like 😐 I WAS SO DISSAPPOINTED LMAOOO

the box being 18k pissed me off so much bc an experienced filmmaker/writer/director could make something so much better than genloss with just that 18k. i aspire to make my own live action thing one day, and like, hearing them go "oh yeah the box was 18k and jermas face prosthetics were 10k teehee🤪🤪" was just. AAAAA. and the thing is, like the prosthetics were funny, but spending TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS as a BIT from jerma going "what if i took off the mask and it just doesnt look like me lol" then framing urself as jesus christ and a victim. i am so mad.

idk how to feel about ranboo anymore, i used to watch like every 2nd stream for a while but then the whole "GUYS BUY MY MERCH also racism bad MERCH!!!!! BUY!!!!" thing made me rethink lol. the racist and misogynistic undertones in genloss made me so uncomfy, and while im not poc so i cant speak on that, i have enough sense to know that having the only poc in the entire show play evil rats is so tone deaf.

and niki!! i was worried when the teasers were coming out bc every single person shown in it was a white guy (and a white enby), so i was kind of happier when niki showed up, but then she died within the hour to "commentate on misogyny in media". ranboo thought that he was commentating on misogyny by contributing to it. did they think this through at all. i would have LOVED if they did something special with niki and something powerful, but all that happened was she showed up, cried, then died and now ranboo fans are going "ranboo was so real for this!!!". ik niki had control over her characters writing but im sure ranboo was the one who decided when certain characters died and stuff.

also i hate to say this but the mask flashing to signify if he was in control or not was EXACTLY like a thing in the undertale fanfic (sfw im not weird) i wrote when i was 12 💀💀the characters eyes would flash when they were under control bc edgy. it was so weird watching genloss with that in the back of my mind 💀💀💀💀

in conlusion, genloss had so many flaws and so much easy fixes that it just feels so sososososososo rushed. another year in the oven wouldve been ok i think.

woah this is long im so sorry i do not think only type oops

- the i feel like i should label what kind of anon i am lmao anon

sorry before i get to anything else the undertale bit caught me so off guard omg.

anyways.

it wasnt like ranboo didnt expect the improv to last that long bc the expected runtimes (from their tumblr post on may 23rd i think) were sometimes longer than the actual ones. 1st ep was meant to be 1-2 hours, it was 1 and a half, so that much filler and standing around going "what the hell man" was PLANNED.

this!! the way the second stream just.. dragged was so rough.

the poc/women diversity discussion is something we had on the blog a bit ago as im sure you've seen so i don't have a ton to add but. yeah there were certainly choices that got made there.

very much enjoying all the essays getting dropped in here (even if i feel like my responses are weak sometimes lmao)

#you guys just say so many smart things and half the time im sitting here nodding like “yep!” #ask #gen loss neg #gen loss crit

[sihirbazi]

for the fandoms ask: assassin's creed 👀

The first character I first fell in love with:  malik!! ac1 was baby's first actual fandom and 14yo me spent 492838923489342892348942389 hours drawing super bad fanart of him i was OBSESSED

The character I never expected to love as much as I do now: hytham if u know u know!!!!!

The character everyone else loves that I don’t: arno. he's the human equivalent of a wet paper bag and also he's french. FUCK that guy. also maria from ac1, ur telling me a muslim-based cult took in a crusader just like that?? and everything was fine?? her entire character arc was so unearned and the romance was. cringe. it was just he was a boy she was a girl (literally the only woman in ac1)

 The character I love that everyone else hates:  basim ahhahahah damn there's so many basim antis in that fandom that lack basic reading comprehension and are also incredibly racist

The character I used to love but don’t any longer: ezio... he's fine and all but too many games and media ended up centering around him and it was A Bit Much

The character I would totally smooch: brasidas of sparta

The character I’d want to be like:  thats a tough one uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i genuinely don't know they all kinda suck in some ways. probably desmond. my man had a rough life and still did The Right Thing to save the world and all

The character I’d slap:  THIS QUESTION MAKES ME UNCOMFORTABLE IN ANY ONE OF THESE I WOULDNT SLAP ANYONE

A pairing that I love: so manyyy but nowadays mostly basim/eivor and alexios/brasidas

A pairing that I despise: altair/maria, never should have been canon (see answer above)

[airic-fenn]

Only If You Think I Am.

Sometimes I remember the temp employee at my old high school job who offered to buy me lunch since I forgot my wallet, and then asked immediately after we sat down if I was mixed. I mean, he was right, but it was a very uncomfortable first question to be asked by a complete stranger.

But it was also one of the many instances that gets me thinking about how weird it is to be mixed race and also racially ambiguous.

Whether or not I’m perceived as a person of color depends entirely upon who is doing the perceiving, and even when and where in the world they’re doing it. Am I in the southern US, or Colorado? Am I in Europe? Is it summertime and I’ve developed a tan, or is it the dead of winter?

Some people dont bat an eye, other people look at me curiously, knowing I am something but they’re just not quite sure what.

One curious man jumped to the proud assumption I must be Turkish, instead of letting me finish explaining that my mom was only born there because her dad was stationed there once.

In France at New Years, my penpal’s friend made a joke about slavery, then laughed and assumed that if I was offended, its because I’m White.

And all of my experiences like these leave me wondering, where do I put myself?

A friend once admitted to me that in middle school when we were covering slavery in class, he had watched me closely to see my reactions to it, because at the time I was just about the most diverse that school got.

The funny part is back then I was barely aware of being mixed race, other than that my Opa is Black. I was just me, and that was just how my family was.

I didn’t really have Black friends growing up (re: very un-diverse schools and neighborhood). Though, my mom would tell stories about how as a kid, she’d get teased and called an “oreo cookie” and blatant questions from her cousins like “what are you?” She’d mention how she would code switch with them, and try to act extra Black with them because otherwise she wasnt Black enough.

But she didn’t talk about race, or how any of it might apply to me. She stuck with the facts: I was mixed. And that was it.

And so I grew up with little understanding of what that meant until I reached high school. I was sheltered, oblivious, surrounded almost entirely by Whiteness and barely aware that people might, sometimes, treat me differently.

That temp worker back at that job of mine was the first time I had considered that people might.

But because I am caught in this limbo, I will never know for sure. Unless they say it out loud, I am left to wonder whether someone is just being angry and rude, or if they’re pulling a racism.

Generally, I give the benefit of the doubt. And why shouldn’t I, when I often barely know for sure how to perceive myself? I’m just me.

Race feels like a concept thrust upon me. Am I

☑️ White/Caucasian?

Or

☑️ Black/African American?

If I’m given the option, I’ll fill in “Other.” But I’m rarely given the option to fill in both.

The problem with being asked to respond with one or the other is that singularly neither feels right. I’d be lying.

I know a lot of mixed folks identify with being Black. I’m not sure I can no, I’m not sure I’m allowed to, even if I probably, maybe could. Because I get caught up in my own questions and fears of “am I Black enough?”

“What even makes someone Black?”

“Sure, the color of your skin, but its also a culture, its experiences.”

“But isnt it reductive to reduce a person’s identity down to whether they’ve been marginalized?”

“Even if I identified as Black, wouldnt that be perpetuating old racist concepts like the one drop rule?” (And if I think long and hard enough about that, I inevitably fall down the rabbit hole and start thinking about how if I couldn’t or wouldn’t consider myself indigenous despite my great-grandmother, why is it acceptable to identify as Black? Even though, technically, I understand the messed up history of why of both).

I’m never able to answer these questions.

But at the same time, identifying as White would feel like I’m rejecting an entire side of myself. Like I’m trying to hide my Opa.

So, I make myself stop thinking about it for a while, and settle back down on just being “mixed.” Its an answer no one can deny, or tell me that I’m wrong.

And as a result, I find myself approaching prying questions or opportunities reserved for BIPOC folks with varying levels of confidence.

“Do you identify as Black, Indigenous, or other Person of Color?”

Yes. Sometimes. Maybe?

Only if you think I am.

#dont mind me I’m just once against faced with impossible questions #biracial #writing

[patchesjam]

Do people actually think genloss is going to be A Big Thing? Bc last time I checked Ranboo does not have the big audience or the big streamer network they'd need to pull that off. Also, coming from a writer, I have A Lot Of Doubt in his ability to tell a cohesive story. Like I know the DSMP isn't a great example (since it was written on the fly and all) but like... Tommy and Dream figured it out - so did Bad and Hannah and the other Eggpire peeps. Phil gave us some closure, too. But nooooo Ranboo got bored of the server so he had to jump the shark and kill off his character out of nowhere even though Wilbur still needed him for lore. So like. What happens when he inevitably gets bored of genloss? What then? Will it remain unfinished, or will he just start throwing random angst at it in an attempt to get attention? If he behaves how I think he will, then he's worse than 13 year old me writing RotBTD fanfiction. Because at least I gave them endings and stuff, even though they were written 100% without any foresight whatsoever. Basically I have no faith in them whatsoever to tell compelling stories, I hate their fanbase and their fan's extreme radical ideology and excessive bulling behavior, and I mostly hate their 'I'm morally superior to everyone else' attitude. Also I still don't know what went on between them and Tubbo - because I kind of get Mean Girls vibes from the whole situation and it makes me deeply uncomfortable. Unrelated to the rest of the ask: Thoughts on Dream copying other YouTubers and hiring a bunch of actors to localize his vids into Spanish?

oooo a long one :)

i saw a lot of boobers say that sorta thing when the dsmp was in big talks again, like 'ranboo has moved on to Bigger and Better things' and them bragging about how it will leave the fandom and that he doesnt need dream + dsmp for relevancy. i see less of it now because i block anyone who mildly pisses me off on twitter - so basically every boober.

and yeah the streamer network thing is interesting because i was thinking this the other day, all of dtkq, tubbo, foolish etc have quite a lot of good relationships and connections to actual streamer streamers (hasan, rae, sykkuno, ludwig) and ranboo + co seem to very much stick in that group, ranboo and whoever he decides are his friends for that month. i never see them in anything more widely twitch related which is interesting and imo a sign of short longevity

as for the writing.... yeah. i think he will go the way of angst. i personally think that he seems to have very little overall idea for the actual concept and storyline a year into planning so i have little faith in that. its like when authors go 'oooo i want to write a teen fantasy novel' and then try to make a random plot to fit the genre. i could be wrong though shrug.

its been said a thousand times before but one little minor slip up from ranboo will lead to a massacre. i used to feel sorry for him about this but he truly did it to himself being a spineless bastard and never calling people out on their shit. it was easy enough to say 'pwease stop being racist' and he fucked that up 3 times.

annnnd finally i dont know if he's done that already or just something your questioning but its interesting... I dont think he'd get as much out of it as other youtubers because, due to excellent concepts and editing esp for manhunts theyre completely watchable without knowing english. obviously you miss a bit but cool plays are universal. i still think it would be interesting to see though, and it wouldnt hurt at all so i could see him doing that at some point. i think he might not though because he is so protective of his work and still edits everything himself, might not want that, so not sure!

#ask tag #its interesting about the localizing though i always wondered if tommy started that based on dreams advice

[1eos]

Wanted to ask: how is Arise as a whole? I love the demo but when I started playing the actual game I thrown by the slavery plot (my fault for not researching). I want to give it another try but that pink is giving me a racist vibe. Does it let up?

oh no i get u 100% when i booted it up and it said 'slaves' i was like HUH? no way....like no way....but so far (im like 30 hrs in) its avoided every common pitfall of fantasy slave narratives. the slaves don't all look a certain way and the slavers don't all look a certain way which i was worried abt. and the enslaved ppl havent done anything to 'deserve' being enslaved which i was also worried abt. everyone reacts to the pink haired elite girl w a correct amount of suspicion and teammates are chastised not for not trusting her but moreso for arguing when theyre abt to be like bombed 😭😭😭😭and the game does a really good job hammering home that no matter how much the pink haired girl helps them the slavers are overall the enemy. and in the arc im in now i was surprised bc they made a 'good' lord and then revealed that his 'benevolence' at the time was purely selfish. its surprisingly nuanced. even in the realm where other enslaved ppl help turn in other slaves theyre painted as victims who deserve to be redeemed and only the slavers don't

as someone who has a LOT of complaints abt slave narratives in video games (see my beef w dragon age) i don't have much to complain abt w arise. which is shocking bc i was VERY wary. they even made sure to never look down on slaves who didnt fight back and a character tells the main guy that survival is all u can do sometimes and that's ok. its hella clunky at times but ppl who are racist fr get killed like w no exception

the only iffy thing is the pink haired girl. she is VERY off putting and i can tell she's just a tsundere for justifiable plot reasons but it does come off as her being racist which is uhhhh. but as u progress u realize she don't like anyone slaver or enslaved and i THINK the story is going to push her to address her implicit biases and open up so she doesn't come off as a cunt. bc she is the first one to swing on a slaver so its very clear that she's pro liberation even if she's a tsundere that makes it seem like she's only doing everything for herself and like i said other characters are quick to drag her. so that probably will be the main thing that bothers you but once u get past the first 1 and a half story beats that part of her personality takes a back seat for better parts of the narrative

im glad i went in blind bc if i had known i probably wouldnt have bought it bc of how wary i am abt slavery plots but so far? im not mad at it and ive been really pleasantly surprised at how well things have been handled???

#this is so long but i wanted to be thorough #oh another thing is theyre not gratutious w the slavery violence which i also appreciate #it is rated t but a lot of the violence upon slaves is off screen or interrupted #but the nuance really shocked me #even in the town w the 'good' slave master ppl have problems w those in charge #and like i said its all shown to be a lie #oh and even their equivalent for pejoratives against the slaves is dropped SUPER FAST #like after the first hour its never said again #but yeahhhhhhhhh it was such a bad move to make shionne that off putting #and repeating so much racist rhetoric bc it makes it impossible to like her #even tho theyre trying to make it into a tsundere misunderstood sweetheart thing

[straightfromthetorturedpoetsdept]

i know we're not in the 'defend taylor swift' train right now but something about that rolling stone headline just

vexes me.

they said we've been 'holding taylor accountable for her boyfriend's actions'

but like.

no? like, both from a social justice standpoint taylor rarely gets held accountable for shit EVEN WHEN SHE DOES IT

but also 'holding her accountable for her boyfriend's actions'

is like

a really fun and not at all rug sweepy way of saying 'yeah we've been slutshaming this woman for ten + years but we can't say that because our readers will get mad'.

because no one ever wants to fucking admit that' what happened and continues to happen. 'who's taylor swift dating now? what number boyfriend is this? subtly imply taylor sleeps around. joke about how much luck she's gonna need to hold this one. speculate about their break up. lowkey make fun of her for not being able to keep a man. rinse and repeat.'

and it just bakes my fucking biscuits that the ONE FUCKING TIME people are criticizing her en masse for shit she has ACTUALLY DONE, someone has a problem with it.

i guess the slut shaming is fine but we draw the line at calling out racism.

thank you so much for this really well thought out ask, friend.

I agree that the rolling stone article is messed up is more than 1 way but yes, this is very much the case with that headline. something about it was offputting to me too because my first reaction is... hold her accountable for whose actions??? when have they ever held her accountable for her own actions, let alone for the actions of her friends?????

but yeah, this *is* exactly what they meant by "hold her accountable." they mean fucking slut shame her for being abused and hurt by these fucking weirdos for a fucking decade. it's also intriguing to me that they dont actually outline the ways in which they unfairly held her accountable, they don't even mention her past.

they just fill the article with the most vapid white feminist bullshit excuses about "who hasnt dated problematic people" and "we wouldnt be having this conversation if she was a man," in order to protect the most powerful white woman singer in the world from accusations of racism.

it's the double edged sword of misogyny and racism, you know. abuse, slut shame, and terrorize a white woman into complicit silence and then stick up for her when she does something racist because that's "going too far." this whole thing has just proven to me that we desperately need critical race theory to be taught and the cornerstone of policy in our society because that article was really fucking just... unnecessary and racist and gross.

i love your last line about "i guess the slut shaming is fine but we draw the line at calling out racism" because this is the entire thesis of that article. nobody in media actually cares about progress, they just know thats what's the most profitable for them at the moment.

i hate everything about this situation so much.

#ask and you shall receive #taylor swift #sexism #rolling stone

[catty-words]

"i think the disconnect comes from the way fandom uses words like 'racist' to build cases about how it's Objectively Wrong for anyone to like a certain character" YES omg people say it like its an essentialist part of a character, like they did something shitty?? well that means they are a literal devil spawn and if you like them you are TRASH!!! but like is actually mostly an action (like you said, a BEHAVIOR)???? that people CAN get better and do better??

"giving the time of day to people who aren't engaging sincerely with the text" this is a great definition of what so many people do, i will definitely snuggle with my kitty in my echo-chamber in guilty-free now, thanks

"forced me to sit with that disappointment for over a year." yeah, i supposed i would feel similarly had i watched one season at the time too. personally because besides devi lack of agency, ben is just so off. paxton was the highlight, besides nirmala and aneesa, that made the season worth it, but like... i feel like season 2 ben is just there to suffer from beginning to end, if at least he was less of a victim of devi's cheating and more of a cunt about it i wouldnt feel so sad, but like you said, its like he had no defects that season and i'm like 😭😭 wheres my little shit from season 1? i dont know if i would survive sitting with season 2 ben for a year tbh you are so strong and resilient babe

"you may already know that i'm writing a long-form follow-up with 'bitty spark' acting as the prologue since it sounds like you picked through my blog a bit" i actually didnt cuz i tend to avoid wip fics like the plague unless i'm close friends with the author cuz then if they abandon the work i can just ask where they planned to go with and satiate my curiosity aksjwkajai but now that i know its the continuation of my fave fic of yours i went through the whole tag and i'm like. DESPERATELY NEEDING IT. like you've been working on it for ages frr you poor thing :(( but simultaneously i'm like IF SHE DOESNT POST LIKE ASAP IM FLYING OUT THERE AND PULLING HER FEET AT NIGHT 😡😡

"thank you for fueling my vanity and for stopping by my askbox in the first place!" no thank you for answering my question it was eating me alive, i just wanted to contextualize and make sure you knew i wasnt like a ben apologist who see him as someone who cant do no wrong but when you had questions of your own i just had to answer them pakspksosk and i love to fuel people's vanity!!! you deserve to be vain, you are giving great stories for nothing besides the shits and giggles!!! i have a hard time interacting in tumblr bc of some dumb insecurities but i just really had to answer you, i thought you would just politely and objectively answer my question but instead you gave me an opportunity to sing you praises without all my tumblr-ity baggage so... thank YOU.

this is a great definition of what so many people do, i will definitely snuggle with my kitty in my echo-chamber in guilty-free now, thanks - perfect. give your kitty a kiss on their perfect little head for me.

yeah, i supposed i would feel similarly had i watched one season at the time too. - mm-hmm, and most people i'm friends with in the fandom have similarly been in it since the beginning, hence my curiosity about your own experience. i'll never know what it's like to take in the series as a whole, it very much is divided up into Eras for me, and it excited/excites me greatly to hear someone else's perspective on the shifting tone.

i feel like season 2 ben is just there to suffer from beginning to end, if at least he was less of a victim of devi's cheating and more of a cunt about it i wouldnt feel so sad, but like you said, its like he had no defects that season and i'm like 😭😭 wheres my little shit from season 1? - dkjsbg exactly!!! 'where's my little shit from season 1', SUCH an important question to be asking!!!

i don't know if you read 'start, acceleration' (my fic where ben teaches devi how to drive), but i was in a scramble to finish it before season 2 dropped and, in retrospect, it's so important that i did (literally posted it the night before) because i can't imagine trying to complete it with s2 ben's characterization in my head. i would have been Distraught.

i dont know if i would survive sitting with season 2 ben for a year tbh you are so strong and resilient babe - and like, thank you. i needed this. 😇

but now that i know its the continuation of my fave fic of yours i went through the whole tag and i'm like. DESPERATELY NEEDING IT. like you've been working on it for ages frr you poor thing :(( but simultaneously i'm like IF SHE DOESNT POST LIKE ASAP IM FLYING OUT THERE AND PULLING HER FEET AT NIGHT 😡😡 - motivation!!! this + plus us knowing the season 3 release date - i'm determined to be posting it by then. like, truly no one is more excited to be sharing this fic than me i've worked so hard on it and it is pretty epic tbh......

no thank you for answering my question it was eating me alive, i just wanted to contextualize and make sure you knew i wasnt like a ben apologist who see him as someone who cant do no wrong - definitely no worries there. clearly you have taste because you miss cunt ben when he's gone!! plus, i obviously love discussing this show, so. your ask was a gift.

you deserve to be vain, you are giving great stories for nothing besides the shits and giggles!!! - 😳🥰🥺 thank you

#anon #replies #never have i ever

[goremet-chef]

random little (very long) vent thing lamaoo

my birthday is soon and im like. IDK ive just been incredibly fucked up recently with like. anti trans legislation and general negativity, so ive been trying to keep away from twitter since thats where i see most of it

last year, my mother had me come get my cake with her and to my surprise it said "happy birthday dominic" and i couldve cried, like i was wearing my face mask cuz it helps my dysphoria but holy shit i was smiling so hard

she said dominic when she sang my bday song with my siblings and it made me really happy

she hasnt called me dominic since, and whatever im like. im not really over it but i will say and act like i am because it prevents me from dwelling on unnecessary pain yknow?

i guess recently she's had a change of heart, cuz she told my sibling that she wants to start calling me by dom and that she doesnt want me to hide who i am from her, and i know what she means definitely

ive been very like.. closed off? especially since her bf came back (he fucking sucks i hate him) i just havent spent time with her or anything unless hes gone cuz i definitely dont feel comfortable being myself around him

anyways this is pretty cool all things considered. i have told her before that i knew she wasnt gonna be part of my journey and ive accepted that, and usually i say shit and she just ignores it but maybe she actually heard that and listened

so, dominic is having his 4th bday soon and im happy about that, but like.. we're gonna go do mini golf for my bday which is a surprise! because i mean. if you know me, i dont really like to leave the house, like at all. i guess thats kinda how covid affected me? theres no reason to leave the house anymore so i guess i wont (and i guess it worked cuz i havent gotten it) but it was like. so horrible for my mental health

like i always said "oh, yeah, i dont mind being inside id prefer to not go outside anyways" and thats true but its like. doubled my social anxiety somehow. im normal in public until theres people around me or god forbid interacting with me 💀💀 the way i act when i have to buy my own shit is awful, i get sweaty and i stutter and i shake, i need to take a long breath after it fucking sucks it feels awful. JUST TO LIKE. PUT SOMETHING AT THE CASH REGISTER AND AHVE THEM ASK IF I WANT A REWARDS CARD OR WHATEVER THATS ITTT it sucks

so yeah im surprised i agreed to it, but its glow in the dark minigolf and one thing about me is i love minigolf and i love glow in the dark im gonna have a five nights at freddy moment (which means i gotta wear my shirt like i just gotta) and im sure itll be great fun (pleased about glow in the dark cuz im sure itll be. DARK in there and i dont have to worry so much about people seeing me)

my problem is that im hanging out with my aunt as well and i love my aunt!! everyone on my dads side except for my dad is amazing i love them, but i dont know how she would be yknow? idk if my mom has spilled the tea about it and told her or if theyre gonna just put my deadname on shit this year again like. i dont know

what if it did say dominic? how would my aunt react? its scary to think about, im so scared to LOSE more of my family

i havent even technically lost my moms side, its just that theyre a bunch of racist queerphobic losers and i know if they knew me, they wouldnt want me anymore

yeah im just stressed about it, all this shit is starting to pile up inside of me and i feel like ill explode and jsut say fuck everyone im ME and i dont give a fuck what you think, cuz no, i dont

my immediate family that i live with knows, my grandma knows, thats all that really matters. the only benefits to knowing my great grandparents is they give me money on my birthday, and that might sound hollow or whatever but its true, they fucking suck

just gettin tired of this sht yknow? even now, there is a hostile on the farm!! my moms bf is so homophobic, most likely transphobic too

hes SPECIFICALLY annoying, all the shit i order comes under dominic and hes brought me my things multiple times so he knows, but he'll still say shit like "thats how females are" or "hello girls" and to me its honestly like

its FUNNY because its like the only thing he knows about me is that to him, im a girl SKFJS like genuinely. i dont share anything with him because i fucking hate him, hes the absolute worst. the fact that theyre married and hes my stepdad technically is something i just deny, im never calling that man my dad lol

anyways im thinking about getting a hip binder? i realize thats one of the things im insecure about, is my fat is at my hip and even when i bind it gives me a feminine sort of shape so a hip binder would be great

i realize that i actually dont care so much if im plus size, i just care if my body looks feminine or not

i will absolutely be your fat guy friend with no hesitation okay like that shit? yes im so content for now like that is acceptable, but yknow fat distributes differently so its either baggy ass clothes orr stay inside SKJF

okay im done talking thanks for coming to my ted talk you are safe (for now)

[pixeljade]

re: a reblog u made saying "If you are not fighting against republicans with every fiber of your being at this point you are not a trans ally. If you tolerate the republicans in your family without challenging their ideas about trans people you are not a trans ally. Fight for us goddamnit or we will be culled and our blood will be on your fucking hands."

I wanted to point out that I feel like this was a very harmful thing to say. As a black girl, fighting against republicans is very scary for me. Republicans (a lot of them are white men) are very racist and sexist, so me and a lot of others "fighting" them could put me in danger. Of course, this is true for a lot more than just black girls/women. Also, I feel like asking someone to challenge republican family members could get then kicked out as well, even if they're not trans. Just being openly allied to them could put you against your family members and threaten your safety.

I think that telling people who are scared or tired of fighting that they're transphobic and blaming them for the rampant transphobia won't make them act out, it'll just make them feel worse about themselves. We're not all activists, some of us are just people... people who are terrified. Anyways, thanks for reading!

Hey so

First of all you're misreading my whole damn thing here. Everyone seems to be actually so let me clarify

What I said does not translate to "You specifically, no matter your situation, HAVE TO challenge the people in your life". It translates to "You do not get to claim the Trans Ally title if you do not put in the damn effort to defend trans people".

Like. You're black right? To make a comparison (obv not a perfect one because different forms of oppression work differently, but bear with me here) this ask is like if I, a white person, went up to you saying "Hey so I never go out of my way to defend black people in my life or challenge racism, but I'm still considered anti-racist, because I said so!" Wouldnt that piss you off a little bit? For the record, I have fought for my black friends, and have been to Black Lives Matter protests and lifted up their voices and so on, but even then I dont believe I have the right to claim the title myself. Because, as a white person, I dont get to decide what "anti-racist" looks like. Y'all do, because you're the ones who are suffering from racism.

Same basic idea applies here. If you are cis, as I think is implied by this ask, you do not have the right to decide what qualifies you as a trans ally. Our lives are on the fucking line in this specific issue, and therefore it is our voices that count towards what allyship looks like.

Additionally, you seem to think this is a binary thing, where if you aren't a trans ally then you are transphobic, which is another thing that I did not say. No, you can be neither a trans ally or transphobic. You could be a neutral party. Now if that idea bothers you, because trans peoples lives are on the line and you decided not to help them out of fear of the risk that comes with it, thats your own thing to deal with. I do think its cowardly, to accept that trans lives are being threatened and to stay silent in fear, but honestly. We're all cowardly sometimes. Thats the nature of being human in such an era of fear. But ask yourself, are you okay with that cowardice? Are you okay watching people die knowing you could have risked yourself to save them? This is what I am trying to challenge people to question here. Because the fact is, that is exactly what will happen if people remain silent en masse. You can say "oh my condition is different, I have a REASON not to stand up and fight", but really, doesnt every single person alive have a reason not to? The risk alone is a reason! If we all just said "never risk yourself" then that would mean the fascist bullies that comprise the bulk of the Republican Party win, and therefore, that means that the rule of law is whatever they decide it is. Do you want to watch that happen and do nothing?

So there you have it. You're allowed to do nothing, you really are. And hell, I'm not even gonna go and make a moral judgment of you for it: I do think that morality is subjective and therefore if you decide its morally okay with you to stay silent then good for you. However I will not give you a cookie for doing bare minimum shit. I will not tolerate casual acceptance of those who are literally legislating away my existence. You do not get to call yourself a "trans ally" for doing nothing risky, you get to call yourself a "coward" instead. But hey, you're the one who has to live with that label. Me? I get to die with mine.

[wardenofthecoast]

this isnt something i want to debate or talk about with people or mutuals, but its crazy that

- Immediately we blame trans women for things that are not their fault or are not in any way the driving factor. This goes from accusations of trans women liking incest or having "weird" kinks or whatever, pretending as if its the same as murdering puppies or as if theyre somehow behind it all. Also complaiming about egg jokes fits here. No, a trans women making a simple joke om twitter (not to the person, but as a vague that no one would could ever assume it was about them) is not whats stopping men from being feminine. Cis/het people are soing gender reveal explosions but its trans women the real issue??? also saying hey maybe youre not trans ur just a feminine man is not a brave statement. Like if its specifically about u and u dont like that, then u can just say so (tho id ask u consider why being considered a trans women would be so devestating??).

- When anyone in the global south dares to critizice americans (esp trans women), theyre always assumed either white or european. I saw a post made by someone who was trying call out a trans woman where the op emphasized white, tho weirdly not latina (most likely because the idpol wouldnt have been as effective). While it mentioned something that yes she was ultimately in the wrong for, she apologized for it and this is just the classic internet tactic of demanding someone grovel forever for any percieved slight.

- People cant handle the their media doesnt have perfect politics, and when anyone brings that up or analyzes it, they get so fucking mad. Like ur not immune to propoganda! Also intentions mean shit, its the impact that matters. GW can claim the Imperium arent thebgood guys, but by making them the only human option, making them aestheticslly cool and meant to be wanted, its hard to be surprised when fascists and racists make up a portion of the fanbase.

#ill make this unreblogable #im sure the reblogs from other people have explained my thoughts better