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alleyskywalker · 2 years

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A Bit On Theon’s Personality...

(THEON MONTH | DAY 2: Personality Traits; DAY 5: Strengths)

I think it’s been discussed fairly at length at various points by Theon fans that Theon’s personality can be difficult to parse out, even long before he adds the layer of complexity via dissociation while in Ramsay’s clutches. Where do Theon’s defense mechanisms and trauma responses end and his core personality begin? Which and how many of those coping mechanisms are so hard baked into him that they’re basically his personality now, and to what extent?

For example, I’ve talked before (though I think on discord more so than here), about how Theon’s arrogance and entitlement are really bluster and self-pep talks – overcompensation for his insecurity and an attempt to project a sense of self-worth through that insecurity that he probably means to appear as cockiness at worst, but understandably might read as arrogance from the outside because so much of it is fake. (And the audience that doesn’t bother to read his content carefully falls for this charade as well, at least in Clash, where so much of Theon’s energy is spent on self-pep talks and self-reassurance, because those aren’t things he’s getting from any external source.) And, in fact, when he does get a modicum of emotional support and safety, we see him show actual vulnerability – i.e. see the scene with Dagmer in ACOK Theon III. Yes, he lists his achievements – one of the Blackfish’s handpicked scouts, leading the charge in the Whispering Wood, etc – but they’re genuine achievements he has a right to be proud of and he doesn’t elaborate beyond stating the facts. He leaves himself open by asking if his father knows he’s not a craven and admits to being upset he doesn’t have Asha’s command while also being aware of how petty it sounds. He’s rarely this openly vulnerable in his longing for acceptance, (as opposed to just feeling/thinking it), but is it really a surprise, given that Dagmer is the one person who has offered him actual emotional safety to even the smallest degree?

And as for entitlement. Please. He’s not really any more entitled than any other character in this series in his social position (highborn male, heir to his father’s seat by all legal rights of this country and society – yes, even among the ironborn the son will be seen as more the heir than the daughter, no matter what Asha would like to believe, and there’s a reason she calls herself Balon’s “son” at the kingsmoot, etc). Even the allegation that Theon shouldn’t have pretenses to the lordship of the islands when he spent so many formative years away rings false and hollow. For example, while Daenerys has her antis who will find any fault with her, most people who criticize and critique her more reasonably (not the mention her fans) quite rarely leverage the accusation against her that she should not pursue her claim to the Iron Throne because she grew up entirely on a whole other continent. So why should Theon be blamed for pursuing his rightful claim?

But even beyond that, while Theon has the unsettling and somewhat unpleasant habit – as a trauma response/coping mechanism – of buying wholesale into the power structures and privileges hardbaked into his society, including classism, in a way that’s maybe more showy and offputting than with some other characters of his rank, he’s not actually opposed to meritocracy. If anything, he’s very willing to work for and earn everything from his position as heir to affection from a friend. For example, people laugh at him asking for Casterly Rock as his seat – but remember, he’s asking for this as a castle he intends to take himself.

"I will lead the attack myself, if it please you. As my reward I would ask that you grant me Casterly Rock for my own seat, once we have taken it from the Lannisters."

—ACOIK, Theon I

Is he maybe overestimating his abilities? Sure, perhaps. But that’s not the same as being entitled. When Asha is tasked to with taking Deepwood Motte, it’s implied that this will be her seat, at least for the time that she holds it – “I’ve always wanted a caste,” she tells the gathered family assembly smugly (or “like a cat in cream” as Theon calls it) (ACOK, Theon II). It’s just a normal rule of this society that if you take a caste, you’d become its lord/lady if you wished to stay and hold it (and weren’t kicked out). Theon thinking he can take Casterly Rock may be presumptuous, but asking for it as a reward for taking it isn’t.

Some more: when Asha (in disguise) tells him that the ironborn would not seat a stranger on the Seastone Chair, Theon comforts himself by thinking that he has time to prove himself. Later, he asks Dagmer how he’s supposed to live up to being his father’s heir if he doesn’t have the opportunity to prove himself. Yes, Theon thinks he has the right to Asha’s command and to the title of heir apparent (because by the cultural and legal rules of this society he does) but he’s more than willing to prove himself and considers it rather natural that he should. On a more emotional level, when he thinks of saving Bran from the wildlings, he believes he ought to have “won a smile” from Robb for literally saving his brother. (This last also in the context of Theon thinking about how Dagmer smiled at him – i.e. showed him more approval and affection – than either Balon or Ned…or Robb.) Theon is literally the guy who thinks its normal to win affection from your friends for acts of bravery and service, as opposed to, you know…receiving it freely because friendship. I really don’t see how anyone gets entitlement from any of this (beyond what is culturally normative for someone of his rank and position in this society).

But, agh, ok, I’ve really digressed here, because my intention wasn’t to write about what Theon isn’t but rather that he is. Not everything. Not every personality trail or even close, because otherwise it would probably take me all month (lol, just this took me long enough). But I did want to highlight a few things. Things that I got to thinking about, actually, after someone I was dating at the time asked me why I liked Theon. Not felt sorry for him or was rooting for him, even, but literally, “what about Theon is likeable?” (he asked a little incredulously). I hadn’t really been prepared for that conversation at the time and struggled to put my feelings into words, especially articulate, convincing ones. So later I began to think about this more, trying to effectively articulate and conceptualize as character traits what this quote made me feel (given that it’s the one that I thought of first when trying to answer his question):

He's turned against me too, Theon realized. Of late it seemed to him as if the very stones of Winterfell had turned against him. If I die, I die friendless and abandoned. What choice did that leave him, but to live?

—ACOIK, Theon VI

And I think what it comes down to is this: bravery/courage and strength (of the willpower variety).

And I think I especially would like to highlight these two aspects because Theon is a character that often gets accused by fandom of being the opposite – weak and a coward. Too weak to not break under Ramsay. Too weak and/or not brave enough to stand up to his father/to stay loyal to the Starks. Not strong and brave enough to face ridicule and even willing to commit murder (the farmer’s boys, etc) to avoid it. Someone who needs external encouragement/recognition, which fandom (and society at large) will often classify as weakness. Sometimes, his failures – or perceived failures – are contrasted with him saving Jeyne: finally Theon grows a spine and does something brave, people say. But I have a different perspective on all this.

Of course, saving Jeyne was brave and heroic, etc. It was also one of his most, if not the most, selfless acts. It’s also a brand of bravery and strength that is easily recognized by fandom (and society at large); this sort of grand, action movie bravery. It’s flashy, it’s uncomplicated, it’s very external.

But for one, I don’t think Theon lacked this kind of bravery previously. Robb comments that Theon has “fought bravely for us.” Balon, while finding every fault possible in Theon, will allow him one thing: “at least you are no craven.” His taking of Winterfell was shortsighted but daring and even brave. Here’s another thing:

But the girl was no true Stark, only a steward's whelp. Jeyne, her name is Jeyne. She should not look to me for rescue. Theon Greyjoy might have tried to help her, once. But Theon had been ironborn, and a braver man than Reek.

--ADWD, The Turncloak

Now, Theon’s assessments of himself aren’t always realistic and excellent, but he does have a far more critical view of himself in Dance than in Clash. And that brings me to the second but: bravery was never really Theon’s problem. I wouldn’t even say that any one thing was – every choice he makes, whether obviously or arguably bad, is the outcome of a toxic cocktail of trauma, ambition, a search for acceptance, a stifled/unengaged empathy (in large part due to trauma), etc. But it’s neither cowardice nor weakness as such. (And I’ll say that what probably stands out most as specifically different with Jeyne is the level of selflessness and empathy he exhibits with her, the fact that it’s those priorities that drive his courage in that moment – but that’s a post for another day.)

First, I don’t think I need to spend too much time on Ramsay. I mean, maybe I do, but others have done so much more eloquently before. For my purposes here I’ll say that anyone would have broken under the kind of intense torture Ramsay put Theon through. Either broken or died. Yet, Theon not only survived, but he remained quite lucid and defiant throughout. As one of the most illustrative examples:

The world, Reek told himself, this is what the world smells like. He did not know how long he had been down there in the dungeons, but it had to have been half a year at least. That long, or longer. What if it has been five years, or ten, or twenty? Would I even know? What if I went mad down there, and half my life is gone? But no, that was folly. It could not have been so long. The boys were still boys. If it had been ten years, they would have grown into men. He had to remember that. I must not let him drive me mad. He can take my fingers and my toes, he can put out my eyes and slice my ears off, but he cannot take my wits unless I let him.

—ADWD, Reek I

Playing along to survive or avoid horrific pain and mutilation is not the same as actually losing fortitude, giving up, breaking internally. (Another Theon Month meta goes into this in a little more detail, and as I said, others have discussed this before better than I could.) Just Theon’s Dance arch alone is a testament to his strength and willpower and, yes, to his bravery. But let’s go back to Clash.

His choice to side with his family over the Starks isn’t made out of weakness or fear – it’s just a choice based on priorities (his future, his family, his people vs. …well, Robb, basically). Even the farmer’s boy’s murders, while technically driven by a fear of ridicule, and while awful, are neither about weakness nor a lack of bravery. After all, Theon sees very well when even his own men start to turn against him at Winterfell, because they’d rather die “gloriously” than go through all kinds of tricks and slights of hand with child hostages and such. But Theon presses on with his plans to salvage the merest shadow of a hope for them to get out of there alive, even if it means sacrificing respect, a thing he has fought for so desperately up to this point.

Nor is it, by the way, that Theon is particularly driven by a fear of death more than any person really would be (after, all the human instinct is to survive):

They made a pitifully small assembly; the ironmen were few, the yard large. "The northmen will be on us before nightfall," he told them. "Ser Rodrik Cassel and all the lords who have come to his call. I will not run from them. I took this castle and I mean to hold it, to live or die as Prince of Winterfell. But I will not command any man to die with me. If you leave now, before Ser Rodrik's main force is upon us, there's still a chance you may win free." He unsheathed his longsword and drew a line in the dirt. "Those who would stay and fight, step forward."

--ACOK, Theon VI

Theon will die if he must. He’ll make a last stand. He’ll even do it all alone, abandoned by his men if they wish for safety (and many of them do abandon him). He refuses, in fact, sacrifice his dignity and surrender. It’s just…he’d rather not die if there’s a way to save himself, what’s left of his men and (if the hostage plan were to be successful) Beth and any civilians who might die in as collateral damage in the battle that will ensue as well. (Remember too that he refuses to put everyone to the sword when his men point out that he should, because the Winterfell’s civilian population will turn against them once the battle starts.)

Theon’s priorities and ethics in the middle of this horrific mental breakdown he goes through at Wintefell are all kinds of messed up – which he is aware of and feels intense guilt over almost immediately – but he’s never not brave and it’s never about weakness.

Now, sometimes, the drive to survive is presented as a weakness or a cowardice in itself. A sort of, “look at all of these terrible things this person will do just to live! They don’t have the courage to face death!” But per above, Theon doesn’t have an overwhelming fear of death. He’s brave in battle, he’s willing to make a last stand bravely if necessary.

To come back to that line again: What choice did that leave him, but to live?

Theon’s whole story is not just about survival. It’s about the courage and strength it takes to survive and to live. Theon surviving, living, not to mention finding any joy in that life, is a huge giant fuck you to a world that has knocked him down again and again, threatened his life literally, and threatened his ability to actually enjoy that life. A world that’s this close to winning long before Ramsay:

Outside the rain was falling harder than ever. The rope bridge twisted and writhed under his feet. Theon Greyjoy stopped in the center of the span and contemplated the rocks below. The sound of the waves was a crashing roar, and he could taste the salt spray on his lips. A sudden gust of wind made him lose his footing, and he stumbled to his knees.

--ACOK, Theon II

This is after that awful dinner at Pyke and the council where Balon lays out his war plans. It’s so subtle that I missed it on the first read and I think on the first re-read too. But stop to picture this scene in your head for one second. He’s lowkey suicidal before he’s even left Pyke.

Living for Theon is not the easy way out. It hasn’t been since he was 10. First a hostage, constantly living under the threat of death, culturally alienated, socially isolated, lacking in affection (the only person he seems to be even possibly emotionally close to is Robb, and even that relationship isn’t without its toxic power dynamics), traumatized by all of this. Then coming home and finding that it wasn’t only his childhood that has been stolen from him, but possibly his future too – he’s once again alienated from his people and his family, he can no longer connect with his childhood friends. He starts to slowly lose that sense of identity and self long before Ramsay’s twisted Reek games. But he just…refuses to give up.

In ever situation. At Winterfell, he tries to be social, riding and joking with members of Winterfell’s guards in AGOT when they ride out to the execution, showing that he had something of a social life probably, and casual friends, if not very close and intimate ones. He tries to be close to Robb. His chief and most visible defense mechanism is to smile, to pretend everything is fine. On Pyke, he’s determined to prove himself to his father, to the other ironborn, to show that he is a worthy son, a worthy Prince. At Winterfell, in Clash, he fights to maintain his achievements, his standing, his dignity, and yes, his life.

What choice did that leave him, but to live?

At this point, Theon just living is a contradiction. It’s inconvenient for pretty much everyone. He’s broken with the North, Asha feels threatened by him (though I don’t think she actively wants his death, he’s likely under the impression she does), his father has abandoned him, and as we find out later from Aeron’s POV would be happy enough to see him dead so he doesn’t “stand in Asha’s way.” And in the face of all of that to turn around and say, effectively, of all things, I don’t even know if I want to live anymore, but it’s the only thing to do. You would all rather I be dead, but fuck you. ???

So, I guess the answer to that question that prompted all of these thoughts is fundamentally this (at least in part): I wish I could be that strong and that brave.

#theonmonth2022 #theon greyjoy #asoiaf #meta #op

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archetypal-archivist · 3 years

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Tommyinnit and Hermitcraft- Heartstone P.2

So, a little while back I wrote piece titled Tommyinnit and Hermitcraft- Heartstone (linked here) which was inspired by the works of @petrichormeraki and @redorich, who popularized the AU of Tommyinnit from the Dream SMP getting dropped into Hermitcraft somehow and summarily getting adopted by the entire server. I, in my infinite wisdom, decided “yes, but also angst” and spat out a solid 1500+ words with a cliffhanger at the end because it was getting ridiculous and I had yet more to write. This is another 1500+ words of continuation.

-----

It's not easy, knowing things. Joe knows more things than most, and oh, how it eats at him sometimes. He jokes with Cleo that between the two of them and their dogs, they are perhaps the leading experts on being chewed on, but she never laughs at that joke. He can't help but wonder why, his thoughts drifting as he lies still and silent in her arms, curled up together on his bed in the winery. Her orange hair tickles his nose as he moves to bury his face in her shoulder a bit more, her cool breath ghosting over the sticky tear tracks that still line his cheeks. All the things that remain unsaid lie between them, but their silent agreement binds them together tighter still. And indeed silence is the name of the game, however much he wishes it wasn't necessary- everything will work out in due time, he knows. But oh, how it aches that he can't say anything more on the matter, not even to her.

"Cleo?" The zombie woman makes a soft inquiring noise, politely ignoring how his voice cracks on the syllables. "Are we doing the right thing?" Her grip tightens again, almost crushingly so, and Joe goes limp at the implied rebuke. Be it right or wrong, his silence must be ensured- he knows so much that if he said anything, it'd all come pouring out. A real modern-day Cassandra, verbal fountain and harbinger of doom in one. No, best to stay cryptic when he can and silent when he can't- and if even his silence fails, Cleo is there, sword in hand, ready to keep him quiet.

He should not take comfort from that. But here, wrapped up in his best friend's embrace, utterly at her mercy and all the safer for it... He does anyway.

-----

Joe and Cleo aren't in a romantic relationship, but it would not be amiss to call them platonic life partners in this universe. Joe has been seeing things for as long as he can remember, the exact mechanics are strange and baffling at best, and if he tries to actually do any Science to figure out how this stuff works, the magic changes to spite him. It's led to a lot of unfortunate visions of peanut butter and how the server generally tends to misuse the stuff (Etho sometimes using it instead of slime in a sticky piston is a milder example), so after enough peanut visions to make him allergic on principle, Joe tends to just let the visions come as they may. The only hard-coded bit that comes with them is that anyone living who hears his prophecies won't believe them and will have something bad happen to them as a result. Cleo, being a zombie, is a special exception to the rule. She's only alive in the most technical of senses, so while bad things still happen to her if she hears Joe speak about his experiences, she at least will believe him.

Which is why she is so determined to not know more about whatever is going on with Tommy. When Joe had rushed in a month ago, tears streaming down his cheeks and glasses barely hanging onto his face, she had merely put down the book she had been reading and had opened her arms wide to him. Convincing him that she would not betray his trust or break his heart had been hard, but she had known it was worth it. How can it be anything but, when Joe had looked at her then as if she was the most precious being on the planet and had immediately thrown himself into her arms, bursting out into troubled tears? He offered to tell her the full story, eyes wet and longing, and her long-dead heart ached at the trust he is giving her- but she is far too selfish to give that up. So she had turned him down, smile on her lips.

Even when he whispered, voice hoarse, that they wouldn't be seeing Tommy for a while. Even when he shuddered and shook in her arms, fragile as glass in her grip. Even when he begged her to ask, just ask, please, it's too much... She did not ask. If she asked, he would tell her, and then she would be hurt and his heart would break because it would be his words that had hurt her. She would not, cannot, will never inflict that upon him, or let him inflict that upon anyone else. (Of all the heads in her collection, the one she has most of is Joe's.)

She simply asks him if there will be a satisfying ending, and when he says yes, she asks no more. Everything will be okay, in the end. So long as there is that much, so long as she has Joe in her arms and the comfortable silence stretches out between them, then she will be content.

(At the foot of their bed, deep in Joe's winery where the barking is muffled and the light cannot touch them, there lies a chest of heads. Inside it, nestled among the many faces of the dead, rests an old iron sword bearing the name Hush. It's blade is rusty from disuse, but if Cleo ever decides that she isn't satisfied, well. There are ways of dealing with that.)

(Things will be okay. She'll make sure of it.)

-----

Philza was no stranger to death. A veteran of a hardcore world, where even the very earth was out to kill him, he had seen his fair share of deaths and had dealt out even more. Usually just to the local mobs and wildlife, but there was still the occasional player dropped into his world by the cruel hands of the Void as a sort of "apology" for leaving him alone, bereft of his sons. As if some random strangers could ever fill the Void in his heart.

Most of them had wandered off upon seeing him, more interested in escape than any companionship he could offer them, and he'd inevitably see their death messages in the otherwise silent chat a few days later. Others would approach him, some curious, some desperate for kindness- he gave them none, was often intentionally cruel just to drive them away. He had the Void in his heart and the Void had him, and he ached and ached for what he could not have. Anything less would be a pale imitation, a mockery of the love he was desperate to return to. He tried not to think about how those kind strangers would also come to meet their ends, often more messily than those that had decided to leave him be to begin with.

Then there were the rare few with... less than gentle intentions. (Blood for the Blood gods, no matter the universe.)

Theirs were the deaths he regretted the least, but the blood still gave him nightmares. For all that he loved his sons, he never understood their love for glory, be it found in conquering other nations or the sticky ooze of a dying foe. Maybe that's why he had spent so much of his time with his elder sons when he returned, the Void finally releasing him from his hardcore prison. Just a father's attempt at understanding, even if it left his youngest at loose ends.

But the problem with loose ends, he had come to find, is that the world had a way of setting them to rights- either by tying them back into the grand narrative, or by cutting them out entirely. For months after Dream had come to him, apology on his lips and charred shoe in hand, he had believed that Tommy's fate had been the latter. He had mourned his son as if such was the case, weeping openly at the news for the first time in years. (He wasn't the only one, though- Technoblade was an only child now and he was not taking it well.) It was only when Tubbo came to him with his compass to ask about its ever-spinning needle that he felt a spark of hope, for a compass that spun was not a compass linked to a dead soul- simply a lost one. Such hope was justified when, six months later, Technoblade burst into his house with a snarl on his lips and a smile in his eyes. Tommy had returned.

And as Phil stood, back straightening and wings spread wide, hope bloomed in his chest like hanahaki, choking him with love right down to his core. Tommy had returned, despite everything.

And Philza would not let him go again.

-----

For all that Tommy might have been... gone for at least a month now on the Hermitcraft server and life has significantly slowed down for all involved, by no means has it stopped entirely. The shops are still stocked, the torches are replaced when the old ones burn out, Hermits still go out and see each other, if less often than before. Xisuma, in fact, instates a series of mandatory meetings every week or so as a way of making sure that everyone is still alive- a bit of reassurance that no one else has died in the time interim. Even the hermits who prefer to keep to themselves show up, such as Tinfoilchef, Joe, and Cleo, although the latter two remain distinctly separate from everyone else on the server during the meetings, their refusal to take a side alienating them from the rest. Grian, broken though he may be, also comes, usually in the arms of Iskall or with a vacant smile on his face depending on the state of his mental health on the given day. His presence is also alienating, as most of the hermits don't quite know what to say around him and thus will give him and Iskall a bubble of space to themselves during the meetings. Mumbo is the only one to cross the divide, standing loomingly tall at Iskall's back, as if daring anyone to say something potentially hurtful to either of his friends.

Frankly, the entire concept of weekly meetings is a bit of a mess. Xisuma stands at the front with Keralis at his back, voice and posture more and more tired with every meeting and Keralis standing just a bit closer, a silent show of support (ready if his admin ever needs some physical support too). The prognosis is usually a mix of dull stuff and hopeless stuff- lag is better than it has been in years, the Chestmonster shop is out again, Tommy still has not been... found. It's not exciting exactly, but the tension during the reporting stage is palpable as everyone waits to hear if something else has gone wrong. It's a bit like being on the front lines- horrible, drawn-out minutes of tedium as everyone holds their breath, waiting to see if another bombshell will drop but knowing that they have to be there, because some warning is infinitely better than seeing a death message in chat one day and not knowing if that person will ever make it back.

In addition to this is the tension that comes from the server being split in three- the believers, the mourners, and those too damaged or too caught up in their own narratives or too neutral to swing to one side or the other.

The meetings are where the most near-fights happen, and Xisuma is so, so tired of having to be the sane one these days. (The benefit of a helmet, he's come to find, is that no one can see you cry.)

(He doesn't take it off much anymore.)

-----

It's after one such meeting that Zedaph finds himself cooped up in his base, eyes burning with unshed tears and feet dangling out into the Void as he sits at the bottom of the hole in his base, the one that goes straight to bedrock and then even further still. The chill is a welcome distraction from his own inner turmoil, and for all that it's dangerous to be sitting so near to the edge of the world, he can't find it in himself to move away form its cold comfort. After all, Tommy can't have died permanently, right? So sitting there is perfectly safe. He has to believe that. He has to.

The meetings are tough on everyone, but sometimes Zedaph wonders if they are a bit worse for him than they are for the rest. It can't be normal that the first thing he does after every meeting is burst into panicked tears as soon as he gets back to his base, as he's certainly never felt such deep fear and relief after the meetings they had before the Incident. And yet, as soon as the iron door of his base sncks shut behind him, he drops down into the Void hole, sits at the edge, and bawls his eyes out. It's kinda funny- he's shed more tears in the last month than he has in his entire life so far. And all for a boy he had known for less than a year.

During this particular day, however, something odd happens. When he sits down for a good cry, it feels like there's the slightest of breezes coming off the Void beneath his feet, chilling him right down to his bones. It's cold, yes, but a welcome relief as he feels a bit like he's burning up from the inside out. Every moment he spends with Tango and Impulse is stifling, as with them he has to shove himself into a hateful mold he never wanted for himself. He doesn't like being angry, and being angry alongside his best friends is hardly any better. If he had it his way, he would have curled up in bed and simply slept the horror away, only waking when the nightmare was over and he could go play mini golf and Among Us with Tango, Impulse, and Tommy again. Instead, his love for his friends demands that he supports them in all their endeavors, even if their goals these days seem to run a little closer to "get them all killed" than is comfortable.

But yes. The breeze. It feels like ice on his skin and sends every nerve in his legs buzzing. It has a distinct smell to it too, like TV static, ozone, and that sensation you get after you brush your teeth and go take a big gulp of cold water. It's... odd. But vaguely comforting. And as the tears finally well up in his eyes and drip down his cheeks, as he lets himself sob for all the friends- both new and old- he's lost, he finds that it's exactly what he needs.

And if Zedaph would only listen a little closer, let himself see beyond his broken heart, perhaps he would hear the whisper on the wind, too.

Everything will be okay. I'll make sure of it.

-----

Evil X has his own troubles to deal with. He had been present when Tommy had died, if watching from the wrong side of their dimension. Lost in the Void with nothing better to do, he had often found himself watching his friend go about his day. With space and time being as screwy as they were in the Void, he could find himself taking three steps and then would be watching Tommy go from sleeping over at BDub's base to having "breakfast" with Rendog. So when Grian and Tommy had gone out End-busting that fateful day, of course he had been watching. And that was all he could do- watch- as he saw his best friend fall to his apparent death, that little line of code that signaled "perma-death" flashing once, twice, and then glowing a deep, ominous red.

But that wasn't the end of it, even as his dull and bruised heart stuttered in his chest at the sight.

Like a redstone pulse lighting up everything around it, that red glow set off a cascading chain reaction that rippled up and down Tommy's code until it eventually trailed out to wherever his code stretched out into the Void. There, it must have severed something because before he could even call for help, his friend's code yanked inwards and away, slingshotting the whole mess into the distant darkness beyond, leaving naught but a vague impression on the inside of his eyelids behind. It was... awful. One of the scariest things he had ever seen, perhaps second only to watching his brother, stern-faced and cold, send him off to the Void once again. But for all that it hurt to see that red glow and watch in mute horror as the server he had once tried to destroy shake itself apart at the seams, there was still hope.

The code was gone, yes, but not unraveled, not destroyed. Merely... transported. Moved. Like a file being sent from one computer to another, or a player teleporting between servers. Tommy's code vanishing like that was cause for alarm, yes, but somewhere out there in the vastness of the Void, it lingered still- and it had left a faint impression of itself in its wake. That meant there was hope.

Evil X- and by proxy, his twin Xisuma- were voidwalkers, beings specifically designed to see, understand, and even modify the world's code. Were he anything else, he surely would have perished by now, his consciousness scattered across the Void as it was. And having been in exile for so long, he had gotten to be adept at seeing the seams between worlds and reading the truths of existence as the Void had intended for her children. If anyone could follow that faint trail, could get Tommy back, it would be him.

For the first time in a long time, Evil X had hope. And hope is a vicious motivator indeed.

-----

TBC :)

#fanfiction #my writing #minecraft #dream smp #hermitcraft #hermit tommy au #heartstone #i'm pretty pleased with this

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pastpatientlywaitingforimagines · 4 years

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Andromeda | Spencer Reid x Reader

WC: 1865

Warnings: SPOILERS FOR 03x05 AND THE SECOND HALF OF SEASON 12, prison Reid, mentions of trauma/anxiety/therapy.

A/N: Remember this post? I was talking about this fic. Anyways, the concept of both Spencer and Reader being groomed for the BAU was one that intrigued me so I wrote this. One day I’ll get tired of writing for this universe but today is not that day. Enjoy!

GALAXY MASTERLIST (not needed to understand the plot but there’s similar content here if you liked this fic!)

You had seen a lot of bad things in your life, but hands down the worst thing you had ever seen was Spencer Reid sitting on the other side of the partition in the prison visiting room. As always your proximity to the doctor cleared your head and relaxed you in a way you hadn’t felt in weeks, but due to the circumstances you knew it was only because he was alive.

“I don’t like this,” you wasted no time making your feelings known.

“I know, me neither,” even though he was alive, you could tell your friend was in rough shape, “how are you doing?”

You breathed a laugh, “I should be asking you that.”

“I’m the same as I was when Garcia visited last week, and we both know she called you as soon as she left here.”

He was right, Penelope had filled you in on everything he had said when she had gone for her visit the week prior.

“Have you gone back to work yet?”

“Yeah, but I’m still not allowed in the field. My therapist keeps telling Emily I’m compromised,” you rolled your eyes, “I think being back in the field would help me compartmentalize better than doing paperwork in Penelope’s office.”

“What have you been doing outside of work?”

“Has my therapist talked to you too? Yeesh,” you rolled your eyes again, causing Spencer to crack a smile, “I’ve been spending a lot of time with Luke, he reminds me of some of the guys from my Platoon. He lets me watch Roxy when the team is traveling, and we go to a veteran’s support group every Tuesday. I don’t think he actually needs the support but he definitely knows I don’t go if he’s not there.”

Spencer sighed, “support groups are good, is it helping?”

“I don’t know,” you shrugged, “I already did the work to cope with my time in the military years ago. The problem isn’t my military trauma, the problem is that my best friend is in prison and the constant anxiety is dredging up old wounds.”

Your eyes narrowed, aware that he was definitely doing a light psych eval of you in that brain of his. You half expected him to start spouting exactly what was happening in your brain that was causing the increased frequency of your episodes, but it never came.

“Will you keep going, for me?”

“Sure, but only because you asked. And if Luke says anything about it you can’t tell him I don’t think it’s working.”

“Deal,” the light banter was the most normal thing that had happened to you since bringing Spencer home from Mexico.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

“I know you’re a super genius and everything, but do you ever feel like you weren’t cut out for the BAU even though you were groomed for it?”

“Yeah, I had to get waived on every physical part of training and failed my gun certification an embarrassing number of times even after I was hired. I wouldn’t have gotten the job if Gideon didn’t do some serious vouching for me. Do you… do you feel like that?” You thought it was ironic that Spencer was concerned for you when he was the one in jail.

“Out of everyone in my class at the Academy, Rossi and Hotch picked me. There were at least four other agents that were better at profiling than I was, I was not the obvious choice. My entire career has been defined by joining the BAU and yet I still get hit with some serious imposter syndrome, especially since you’ve been gone. Sometimes I wonder where I would have ended up if I hadn’t been picked, what kind of agent I’d be.”

“You would have ended up with the Hostage Rescue Team,” you knew Spencer was a know-it-all, but you were surprised at his confidence and quick response.

“How do you figure?” you questioned, watching the tips of his ears turn red as he blushed.

“Garcia and I overheard Hotch and Rossi talking about you when they came back from recruiting. We did some… ‘spelunking’ and found your file.”

“Anything juicy in there?” you teased, thoroughly amused at the image of Spencer and Penelope huddled around her desk investigating you.

“No. It said you were ex-military and had been psychologically discharged. We didn’t dig deeper into that, but I could see signs of anxiety the first time I met you so it wasn’t really going to be a secret anyways.”

“Fair, so how did you know about Hostage Rescue?”

“There was a note from their unit chief that they wanted you. It makes sense, you passed the field tests in the Academy with flying colors and you’re exceptional in the field. You would do really well on a tactical team.”

“In theory, until I have a panic attack and get thirty people killed,” you joked, “they probably asked Hotch to take me because I’d have the smallest chance of being a liability in the BAU.”

“Actually, Hotch said he liked how you had approached the exercise they had given you.”

You remembered that day like it was yesterday, Hotch and Rossi had come into your class with the bare bones of a case: an abducted child in a mall a week following a prior abduction of a similar nature. As a collective you had to solve the case, asking the right questions to get the information you needed from the two Supervisory Special Agents.

Your previously mentioned classmates that had a knack for profiling were quick to build a few theories and get a bit more information, including a glimpse of the girl on a security camera, but there were still a lot of missing pieces. Something about the whole thing felt off to you, so you finally spoke up.

“What if it was someone in her family?” Your classmates looked at you in confusion, a few of them jumping up to reiterate the evidence against your suggestion. “I see your point, and I’ll support the group if you still think I’m wrong, but hear me out. There’s evidence of the abduction being personal. I don’t think it’s related to the prior case at all.”

“The family has been with us the whole time,” one of your classmates argued.

“The father?” someone else suggested.

“No, not him,” your brain was working hard, “I think it was the aunt, Susan.”

“Well done, Agent,” you heard Agent Hotchner over the clamor of the room at your suggestion.

“Do you want to back up your theory?” Rossi asked once your classmates had settled down.

“Her husband shows signs of grooming Katie: he knows more about his niece than he does his own kid. If his wife noticed, she might be trying to protect her family. She was probably ashamed that her husband was a pedophile, her son had a record, and her marriage was falling apart. Susan already said she worked retail in a mall, even if she didn’t work at this mall she’d at least have knowledge of how malls work and where she could hide a body. The abduction from the previous week would have given her something to pin Katie’s disappearance on, and Katie would have trusted her enough to go somewhere without an obvious struggle.”

“Bingo, Agent…?” Rossi looked at you for your name.

“(y/l/n),” you offered.

“Susan took her own pain out on Katie. Our agents were able to recover Katie’s body and resuscitate her, and both Susan and her husband were brought into custody.”

Later, as class was dismissed, you were approached by the two men.

“What was it that made you look deeper into the family as suspects?” Hotch had asked.

“I just had a feeling, sir,” you told him honestly.

“What kind of feeling?” Rossi seemed genuinely interested in what you were saying.

“A gut feeling. I know we’re supposed to use the facts, and all the facts were presenting themselves as becoming a serial abduction, but it just didn’t feel right to me. When I started exploring other possibilities the relevant evidence jumped right out.”

“Sometimes we get cases with barely enough information to make decisions from. Following instincts can lead to breakthroughs that solve the whole case. Keep up the good work,” Hotch shook your hand before walking away with Rossi right behind him.

“Yeah, I went out on a limb with that one. I’ll tell you about it later,” you shook your head, knowing you didn’t have enough time to tell Spencer the whole story. He was quiet for a minute, glancing around the room before he spoke again.

“If I can’t get out of here, I think you should look into transferring to Hostage Rescue.”

“You’re not serious, are you? You’re getting out of here. I’m seeing to it personally,” you said it like it was a fact. His face told you he wasn’t kidding.

“Let me ask you this- if I’m found guilty at my trial, how are you going to take it?”

You wanted to tell him you would be fine and continue to fight for his freedom, but you both knew there was a reason your therapist wasn’t clearing you for field work that would only get worse if your best friend had to serve upwards of 25 years in jail.

The BAU without Spencer Reid just wouldn’t be the same BAU you fell in love with when Hotch and Rossi had hired you all those years ago.

“Do you really think the brass would approve a transfer to an anti-terrorism tactical unit when I can’t even get cleared for field work now?” you countered.

“I do. Your coping mechanisms are well developed. If you separate yourself from the BAU… and me… I think you could pass their psych eval just fine. And everyone knows your tactical skills are off the charts, even after you’ve taken time off.”

“You’re not a very good genius if you think you can get rid of me that easily,” you were quick to point out, “even if I did transfer, I’d still be here as much as possible. Penelope wouldn’t let me cut myself off that easily from the rest of the team either.”

“Just think about it, please.”

You sighed, “I’ll think about it, but I’m still holding out that we’re proving your innocence and you and I will be back to our shenanigans in no time.”

“I’m looking forward to it. How’s my mom doing?”

“She’s been ok, I visit every day and JJ usually comes with me. Cassie’s been really great for her,” you told him.

“Good, will you tell her I-“

“Prisoners line up!” a guard yelled.

“Will you tell her I love her?” Spencer said quickly as he stood. You nodded, watching as he lined up with the other inmates and walked away.

As you left the prison you told yourself you were never getting used to this, and you were going to start working double time on proving Spencer’s innocence. There was no family like your BAU family, and whoever had framed Spencer was not going to destroy that so easily.

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fluff #platonic soulmates #platonic imagine #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfic

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curedeity · 3 years

Text

Aquario's Destiny

Summary: Hikaru and her job at the WBBA. How things change as you make a place yours.

Hikaru was always very good at organization. Back when she was a traveling blader, she’d write down every competition advertised on the WBBA website, their dates, their locations, and then work out the best route to attend the most possible. She’d buy supplies with the same diligence, researching what foods would keep the longest, where she could buy them, etc.

Yet even she could barely keep up with Director Ryo Hagane’s eclectic organization system. Hikaru had first assumed he just threw files into whatever cabinet was closest to him, but after watching him walk to 6 different cabinets each to put away a single file in each, she concluded it had to be something different.

Hikaru carried around a clipboard, ready to take notes at any time, or read out the latest news from the WBBA. At the side of it now, she had a small paper in which she wrote down each of the Director’s filing decisions. On the rare nights when she got home and still had energy to do things, she would type them out into a spreadsheet and see if there were any commonalities.

6 months later and she had yet to find any, she told Madoka over the dinner they were sharing.

Madoka had also begun working for the WBBA as a part-time mechanic, and Hikaru had enjoyed spending more time with her. Madoka was always ready to listen to her complain about Director Hagane, or crack a few jokes at the WBBA’s expense. She was also perfectly ready to be serious, which was a breath of fresh air.

Madoka suggested that she just ask Director Hagane, but Hikaru flat-out refused. He often took joy from being as confusing as possible, and she was not going to humor him. If she was going to figure this out, she’d figure it out through her own organization.

Hikaru’s favorite thing to do as a part of the WBBA was definitely setting up tournaments. She would go through and look at what stadiums were free, then she’d check with all surrounding tournaments. She would have to choose one that was as far away from all the others as possible, while still being accessible, and not usually scheduled at the same time. It was her job to give bladers the most chances possible to compete, and she tore into that task with a vengeance.

It was only after Director Ryo asked that she realized she had been taking notes for these tournaments in the same notebook she had used to carry around with her planning out her path. They were even in similar styles. Moments like that made it seem like her life hadn’t changed as much as she sometimes thought.

Hikaru had also taken charge of sending out schedules, notices, and other such emails. She had almost 15 drafts constantly opened on her computer, ready to be filled in with the necessary information.

Director Ryo had been banned from sending out emails unless in emergency or if Hikaru wasn’t available after the Incident. Director Ryo had brought her coffee every morning for the next week as an apology after the Incident. The only one of her friends who knew about the Incident was Madoka, and they greatly enjoyed bringing it up around the others just to see Director Ryo sweat, as he didn’t want to explain how he’d once accidentally sent an email filled with cute cat gifs to the entire senior management.

An email from Yuki sat in her inbox, the specs of Pegasus and Leone from their last maintenance, cross-examined with possible explanations for how the new parts had been made from the star fragment. She stared at it for a good 3 minutes, then gave up on understanding it. At least Madoka and Yuki would know what they were doing.

She printed it out and combed through the files. The cabinet at the back in the left corner was where they kept all the miscellaneous mechanical specs that the board might ask for. Paging through it, she found the folder named “Legendary Bladers” and shoved it in there. The folder was getting quite large at this point, she should discuss with Director Ryo about changing it to a separate folder for each blader.

The next board meeting went rather well. Hikaru and Director Ryo had been hard at work planning out the next world tournament. Double battles had become more and more common, now being an official part of the team tournaments rather than just a request made in the moment. Because of that, they had been planning out a doubles division at worlds for quite a while, and the details were finally ready to be ironed out.

Hikaru stood up at the front of the room and presented the outline they had for it so far, her voice clear and concise as she read the notes about funding, management, etc from her clipboard.

Director Ryo had apparently called Gingka and the gang afterwards, as they all showed up and dragged her away from work to celebrate her success in forming a new division. It was quite nice, sitting around eating hamburgers with everyone and hearing them get excited over something she’d worked so hard on.

Later that night, she received an email from Madoka with a dozen images attached of all the photos taken there. She saved each of them into her personal photos folder, and sent one where Gingka was balancing a hamburger on his head to Ryo.

The photo was printed out and framed on his desk tomorrow.

Tsubasa also joined the WBBA. He’d always been a member of it, ready to be called in any time for duty, but this time he was retiring from the tournament scene and becoming a full time member. Hikaru greeted him, leading him to his desk, handing him a cup of coffee, and warning him that Ryo had a party planned to welcome him already set up in the break room, and yes there were party hats.

Tsubasa thanked her and proceeded to somehow successfully hide from the party for the rest of the day. Madoka texted her pictures of Ryo’s crestfallen face, and she couldn’t help but chuckle.

Tsubasa was very helpful in planning out the world tournaments. While Hikaru was no stranger to the competitive scene, despite it being over two years since she’d competed in it, she hadn’t competed in a worlds’. Tsubasa had many helpful suggestions about what things were inconvenient for bladers, and Hikaru took great joy in studying each of them until a solution unfolded in front of her.

Hikaru drafted out each new proposal and presented it to the board for consideration. She reached over and grabbed the necessary files she needed out of Ryo’s cabinets without even looking. Staff members came to her with questions which she answered with the same diligence she showed every task before her.

It was late one day when Ryo announced he was retiring. Madoka and Hikaru were just finishing up the certifications for the new bey gear that was being produced, the ad campaigns, etc. Madoka was almost vibrating with excitement, given these were her own designs, and she couldn’t stop rambling about how helpful she knew they’d be to beginning bladers. Hikaru listened carefully and took note of anything that should be listed as a benefit or used in ads.

Ryo walked in and hung around for a few minutes, listening to them wrap up, offering in a few suggestions as he read over their shoulders. He complimented Madoka on the design, and declared that this would be a great help to bladers. He then announced that he was retiring.

Madoka, somehow, did not look surprised by this, while Hikaru couldn’t even get words to leave her mouth.

Ryo had become director of the WBBA at almost the same time she’d joined, and had taken her under his wing immediately. Despite his eccentricities, he was a good boss, and always took the time to listen to her suggestions, support her, or tell her to take time off when she was working too hard.

And now he would be gone.

The next days passed in a blur of bureaucracy, all the details that came with retirement that Hikaru had never considered. She took careful note of each form that was filled out and each thing that Ryo needed to sign off on.

It was only until Ryo told her that she was being considered to be the next director that she realized that she hadn’t even considered who would be the next director yet.

She most definitely had not considered herself a candidate, after all, all she did was some management, planning out, organization. Sure, she had created some tournaments, and spearheaded some new departments, but that was just responding to the wants of the bladers that she communicated with.

Madoka rolled her eyes when Hikaru told her this and Tsubasa said that she was practically running the WBBA already, her promotion would just be a courtesy.

Hikaru went home and took out Aquario. She woke up the next morning, slumped over the table and with Aquario still held in her palm.

Ryo carefully ran through every duty of the director with her, she wrote them all down, and when she read them back to herself she found that most of them were things she already did. Ryo smiled at the shocked expression on her face. She resisted telling him that she wanted a raise.

The board met with her and after a quick examination/interview, she was sent out. The decision of director wouldn’t be for a few more days. She didn’t know why, if the interviews were so short, but Madoka told her it was probably because they’d already worked with her for so long that they already knew her strengths and weaknesses.

She grabbed a coffee and sat at the side of the office, sipping slowly at it. The ripples were, very nice. Perhaps this could make her feel alive again.

Ryo reentered the office, holding a stack of files with him, and began organizing them. Hikaru put her coffee to the side and joined him, sliding the folders into the correct cabinets.

Ryo cracked a few jokes, and Hikaru felt like she was hearing them through cotton. She nodded along at the pauses and read the next file name. It was until she heard her name be called that she turned to face Ryo.

He was looking down at her with concern and asked if he could lay a hand on her shoulder. She refused, and he nodded, taking a step back. He asked if she was ok, and she responded that of course she was.

He then asked her if she wanted to be the director of the WBBA, and Hikaru froze.

How should she answer that, was he asking if she thought she was ready to lead? Or perhaps if she thought she had the qualifications? Or-

No, he had asked her if she wanted it.

And Hikaru didn’t know how to answer that.

She walked back to her chair and coffee, and Ryo waited patiently, the files set off to the side.

Hikaru had joined the WBBA because she hadn’t felt able to blade anymore. Her fingers had shook when she attempted to grab her launcher, and she could only remember the dragons coming after her, attempting to devour her soul. But despite that she had still loved watching battles, attending tournaments then to cheer on her friends. She loved the way everyone got so excited about it, and she wanted to be a part of that.

No, Hikaru wanted more.

Hikaru wanted to be a part of what caused that excitement, what allowed it to be possible.

So she had joined the WBBA.

Hikaru remembered the party after the doubles tournament had been approved, she remembered seeing the glee on Toby and Zeo’s faces as they hefted the trophy into the air.

And Hikaru wanted to cause more of that joy.

Hikaru had been the director of the WBBA for a while at that point, the title was just perfunctory. She slipped into the office that was now hers, but it had always been a bit of hers. Her books were still there on the table for when there was a break, and the fridge where she had stored her lunch was in the same place.

And the filing system that she had learned, and helped to make in some ways, was still in place, and Hikaru had no plans on changing it.

But she had many other changes in mind, and a group of people ready to make it happen. She took her chair, put her coffee on the desk, and prepared to start her leadership.

#beyblade #beyblade metal fight #beyblade fanfiction #fanfiction #hikaru hasama #i hope yall enjoy hikaru deserves all the content in the world #aquario's destiny #beyblade metal fusion

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airesgay · 3 years

Text

singing in the dead of night

1. to build a home

relationship: jennifer jareau/emily prentiss

words: 4,609

summary: A collection of song fics for Emily and JJ, although heavily focused on Emily.

chapter summary: Based on the song To Build A Home by The Cinematic Orchestra. Set during season 3, episode 4: Children of the dark.

read on ao3

This is a place where I don’t feel alone; this is a place where I feel at home

Emily had never really felt like she’d had a home. And yes she knew how, not only pathetic, but cliché that sounded. Poor little ambassador’s daughter, getting everything she wanted, except the love of a family.

Growing up was a tumultuous event. From D.C to Europe to the Middle East, she’d never had a chance to fix herself to solid ground. She’d thought for a brief moment that Rome might become a home for her, but that wish was quickly snatched away; there were memories there now she wasn’t sure she’d ever get away from.

By the time she got to university, finally escaping her mother for a life of her own, in one solid place, she thought surely this had to be it. But alas she found her days of higher education passing by in almost an instant, with nothing much to show for them except the fancy diplomas and a Yale sweatshirt.

Taking the job at Interpol was her way of giving up any chance of having a home. May as well travel the world and take the most dangerous missions when there are agents who actually have people who’d miss them - was her thinking. Which had led her to the life she’d had in France. Ironically, on the outside it seemed the most domestic and grounded. Of course it was the one that plagued her nightmares the most. That in particular felt like a sick cosmic joke.

She’d been with this new team now for around a year. There’d been moments over that time where she’d found herself thinking overly sentimental thoughts; ones like, maybe I’ve found my place, maybe I’ve found my people. She’d shot those thoughts down quicker than she could pull a trigger.

These moments always caught her off guard, despite their increasingly frequent nature: a few weeks in when they went out for drinks to that bar and it was all abnormally social and fun, or a few months later when the oldest of the team set up an old movie projector in his office, and they all tumbled in, throwing popcorn and giggling like school children. Or when she was asked to her first girls’ night at Penelope Garcia’s humble abode to get blackout drunk on margaritas (that was the intention anyway, but it was still too early for Emily to let down her guard like that, lest she let slip all her deep, dark secrets).

Even the seemingly small moment when none other than Derek Morgan had revealed himself a lover of one of her favourite novels. Of course that had occurred just seconds after she declared herself not wanting to get too personal with these people she didn’t yet know: another cosmic joke. Or maybe, just maybe, the universe was really trying to tell her something?

She tried not to let herself get carried away. In fact, it was against her nature and her defence mechanism automatically kicked in, reminding her of how nothing lasts, everybody leaves, you’re not worth this kind of love.

But then this case landed on her desk. And she lost herself for a moment.

She’d never seen herself as a mother. That had been clear even before Rome. She wasn’t quite sure the reason. In her preteen years it had just been something she never thought about – which was normal to her, she was twelve, as she’d communicate to any group of girls she ended up getting into this conversation with.

Why was how big a house you’d have, and how many kids you wanted and what kind of man you’d marry things twelve-year-old girls were so concerned about? Of course she knew those last two points went hand in hand. That was what she’d thought at the time anyway. And she already knew deep down that because of her lack of interest in the former, the latter would never be an option for her.

Rome had been a whirlwind of a mistake, tangled up in loneliness and self hate. She already knew who she was. She thought she’d always known really. But she’d found herself in a place where she thought she could finally make real friends. And one of them just happened to be someone who wanted her. Was she really in the position to ruin that, to lose her place in this group she’d become a part of? They were already friends. Maybe she could be different. It would certainly make things easier if it worked out.

And so she’d made a terrible mistake, she knew that immediately. Then again, could she call it a mistake when it truly clarified her identity? This was something she told herself to try to ease the pain of it all. Whether she wanted kids, in any capacity, she wasn’t sure. But she knew that she didn’t want them in that way, and certainty not at that time.

She was always career driven, desperate to prove herself. Career women didn’t want kids, right? She sometimes wondered why her own mother had had any -which she knew a therapist would dive right into. Was that the reason? Did she just not want that for her life? Whenever asked she gave the same response, even to this day: It was just something she didn’t think about – something people (her mother) couldn’t accept. How can it be something you just don’t think about? Especially at her age – was heavily implied.

But then here she was, offering to adopt a child she’d just met. She’d always been a protector, sometimes to a fault. Was this a newfound motherly instinct, a desperate need for a family and to have someone that wouldn’t leave her? Or simply her protector role gone rogue? Once again, she didn’t like to think about it.

* * *

It had started out like any other case really: gruesome photos, a slew of murdered families, a mid to late twenties, white male unsub just asking to be psychoanalysed. When they profiled the victims to be middle class, happy suburban families – PTA mums and flannel-wearing dads – Emily couldn’t help but think how her own family would be the last on the hit list.

The first moment anything out of the ordinary occurred was when JJ came into the precinct to report that there’d been another attack, and that an ambulance was on its way.

“Ambulance?” she asked, surprise evident.

“There’s a survivor?” came Hotch’s follow up question.

A weak nod from JJ was their confirmation.

Emily immediately offered to join JJ at the hospital. It was like an instinct.

As they followed the doctor down the corridor, he explained how she was lucky to be alive. Emily responded with the same line of thought she’d had on the way there, that “this guy doesn’t miss.” Which begged the question of just how this girl had survived. When he informed them of how she was still drowsy and confused from the drugs, Emily admitted that, given what had happened, it was probably best.

Emily started by going through the motions, following protocol of questioning the witness on the events and asking for any descriptions of the unsubs. By this point it was such a natural routine for her. She’d learned how to distance herself from the emotion of it all. She was able to do this by reminding herself of the job she had to do, and how them catching the suspect and preventing more suffering relied on her detaching herself, keeping a clear head.

JJ was sat next to the girl’s bed, closer and blatantly more maternal. This was usually the role she adopted. She was there to offer support, Emily to get information. It was only when the girl mentioned her dad that she felt her face fall, and the weight of what had happened to this girl, how her whole world had ended, fell on her shoulders. She couldn’t help the near look of horror that crossed her face when she croaked out “they made us watch.”

JJ cut in to tell her they could take a break, but the girl refused, tears in her eyes but insisting that they needed this information. As she continued to force her way through the events, Emily followed suit and switched her brain back into focus. She needed to catch whoever had done this.

* * *

A somehow off colour of coffee dripped into a polystyrene cup, agonisingly slowly. Emily watched each drip, trying to slow her heart to the same pace. She was trying to clear her mind at the same time, to slow the racing thoughts that were getting her nowhere in this case. She needed to be objective or she was never going to catch them.

“Damn, I was gonna ask for one too but looks like we’ll be here ‘till Friday.”

Emily jumped, uncharacteristically caught off guard. JJ noticed and eyed her carefully.

“Uh, yeah,” Emily cleared her throat as she tried to gain what little composure she had left.

JJ gave her a comforting smile and Emily felt herself relax just a little.

“Suppose it’s kind of nice to have a break. This one’s…”

She didn’t need to finish her sentence. Emily was just glad she wasn’t alone. Hell, JJ seemed to be coping better than her. In that case, she was thankful the blonde was empathising.

“You think you’ve found a new lead?” JJ asked tentatively, not sure if keeping her mind occupied was how Emily wanted to cope.

Emily sighed long and low. “Maybe, I’m just trying to look at it from all angles.”

JJ nodded in understanding. Then she took a step forward to join Emily beside the beat up coffee machine. She watched the viscous liquid drip into the cup, which seemed to be getting even slower.

“Well looks like you’ve got some time.”

Emily looked to her and was met with another smile, one full of compassion. They didn’t say anything else, just stayed there until both their cups were full. Emily wondered if this was what people meant by a comfortable silence.

* * *

Spencer suggested they release news of her survival to draw the unsub out, but Emily flinched at the mere thought. Hotch noticed and asked her if she wasn’t comfortable with that.

She hesitantly agreed. “Okay, but I would be more comfortable if we doubled her security.”

She was back at the hospital when JJ came to meet her in the corridor. She informed her that the girl had been cleared to go.

“Well I wish she had somewhere to go,” JJ admitted despondently.

Emily sighed in frustration. “No luck with the LA thing? Can’t this girl catch a break?”

They started down the corridor together, Emily not knowing what to tell this girl. It was in that moment that a deafening scream sounded, and her and JJ shared one quick look before breaking out into a run.

JJ reached her first, holding her shoulders and telling her that it was okay. Emily hovered, watching in fear as the girl explained the nightmare she’d had, and JJ pulled her into her chest. She was so glad JJ was there.

“We brought you a change of clothes,” Emily offered meekly, as if that would help.

The girl gave a distracted nod. JJ caught her attention again.

“I didn’t know what to grab you, so I just got three of everything,” she said with a smile. Emily was in awe of this woman, and again thanked god she was here.

The girl seemed to smile for a moment before saying “from the house?” - a snap back to reality. Even JJ struggled to maintain her smile then. Emily looked behind her towards the collection of flowers decorating the back wall.

“Looks like a flower shop in here,” she observed, trying to grasp a somewhat upbeat tone. It was silly really. But then something clicked, and she was back into detective mode. Thank Christ.

* * *

Then came the moment they needed the girl’s assistance to help solve the case. And she hated it. God did she hate it.

“Is she going to be up for it?” Hotch asked. Even he was having his doubts.

“I don’t know,” was Emily’s reply as she rushed to meet the girl in question, who’d just walked into the precinct.

She stood with her while she picked out mug shots, so close; almost as if she was worried she’d fall down and was getting ready to catch her. She couldn’t remember her voice sounding smaller than when she asked, “Are you sure?”

The girl really did look like she was going to faint then. When she didn’t say anything else, Emily tried to think of something comforting.

“Your parents would be really proud of you,” she offered with a smile, placing an arm on her back. It was such an unexpected move for her, but it felt right.

“It’s too late to be a good daughter now,” was the flat response she got.

“Oh that’s not true,” she insisted.

But she wouldn’t hear it. “I was horrible to them and now they’re gone.”

Emily was sure this might have been a sign from the universe: call your emotionally distant mother! Tell her you love her! But all she felt was pain for this girl in front of her. And that she deserved better. Then again, maybe this was just projecting onto her own wishes for herself.

But then the girl spoke again, and she was saved from that particular line of thought.

“Why did they do it? I mean there has to be a reason right?”

Emily’s face grew soft yet again. “Oh you’ll drive yourself crazy trying to figure out the reason.”

“I go crazy every time I close my eyes.”

Emily knew she shouldn’t elaborate, but she found herself doing so anyway; like she’d try to help this girl process in any way she knew how.

“It may have something to do with what happened to them when they were younger.”

She felt JJ watching them across the room.

“Like what, they were abused or something?” the girl asked.

“There’s a good chance,” Emily admitted.

“Are there any happy families?”

She finally looked up at Emily, who felt her mouth fall open, searching for the right response. This girl really wasn’t asking the right person. All she could do was offer a sympathetic look. She almost felt like calling JJ to take over.

* * *

Emily and Hotch went to the animal shelter where the unsub worked, then his foster mother’s house. She felt an immediate sense of unease as they stepped inside. It spiked when a boy came in wanting milk but was swiftly banished. She forced a thank you as they left. Their priority right now was to catch the unsub. Which they soon did - one of them anyway. However, they were getting nowhere with the interrogation.

Emily watched from the other side of the glass and sighed, almost in defeat.

“Kids who grew up like he did, they’re incapable of forming attachments, it’s not like we’re going to earn his trust.”

She felt a knot in her stomach as she said the words. It tightened when she had her next thought.

“Maybe he’ll talk to family.”

She had hated asking Carrie to identify the unsub’s picture; this was on a whole other level. As they led the girl into the interrogation room, Emily emphasised how safe she would be, that she would be right there with her. And then there was JJ, saying how she didn’t have to do it if she didn’t want to. But as Emily expected, she insisted.

Hotch ran off a list of information they were looking for, which Emily could tell was overwhelming her.

“I’ll keep him on point about that. Just do your best to keep him engaged,” Emily encouraged.

Hotch led her away and JJ reached out for Emily’s arm.

“Okay, I’m sorry, can we just stop and think about this for a minute?”

Almost instinctively, Emily felt her own hand reach out towards the other woman’s elbow - like magnets.

“She’ll be okay,” she promised, voice soft.

“She’s a kid,” was JJ’s reply, a disbelieving smile on her face. “What is she trying to prove here?”

Emily’s face fell. “That she can be a good daughter.” She said the last word almost bitterly.

JJ’s expression of frustration shifted to one of intrigue, maybe even concern. She could tell the statement held more of a story than Emily was willing to let on in that moment. She could only hope that one day she’d feel comfortable enough to open up to her - to any of them.

As Emily led Carrie into the room, and the unsub greeted her joyously, the girl looked to her for guidance. Emily gave her a small nod of encouragement and they both sat down. God she hoped she wasn’t making a mistake. It was hard enough for her, with years of training and experience, to treat these people like they were just that – people. Asking an innocent girl who’s family had just been wiped out by the very one sitting in front of them? God she hoped this worked.

She felt her heart stop when Carrie reached across the table for his hand. This girl was so strong. She knew that was a cliché and so much more than anyone should ask of someone else. But she was. And they managed to find out the location of the second unsub because of it.

Once she snatched her hand back and he was escorted out of the room, she fell into Emily’s shoulder, finally breaking down. Emily brought her arms around her and whispered soothing words: “you did so good.” Had she done the same though? Even though it had the desired outcome, she still found herself hoping that it was the right thing to do.

* * *

They narrowly avoided a shootout at the doughnut shop – not something Emily expected to find herself thankful for today – and she was smiling down at the two kids in the back of the car who they’d saved. She overheard Derek on the phone, asking if there was some type of alternative for them.

“What is it?” she asked, eyebrows raised.

Derek was stone faced. “Social services won’t intervene until they do a full investigation.”

“We have to take them home?” she felt sick even saying the words.

“Yeah.”

When they arrived back at the house, Emily helping the girl with her backpack, she saw Derek offering his card to the boy, telling him he could call him anytime. Derek, like JJ, was made for this - helping kids. She merely offered her own nod of support as she joined them. Seeing the kid upstairs staring out the window despondently, she sighed, “this sucks,” which was a massive overstatement.

The call from Hotch came too late.

Gunfire sounded from the house and Emily and Derek shot out of the car in a flash. Derek smashed the door in to reveal the foster mother lying on the floor, Tyler standing a few feet away, gun grasped in his hands.

“Are you hurt?” Emily demanded from the mother. She shook her head no, and Derek cautiously approached the boy.

Emily surveyed the scene and bullet-ridden pictures revealed the only damage caused.

“They’re lies,” Tyler bit out.

Emily knew all about that. Granted, not to the degree that the boy in front of them did. But she knew about big houses adorned with pictures of smiling families. All for show. Emily forced to sit for every family portrait, and wear a dress she all but ripped off afterwards. Pictures like these made a house even colder than they would be without: a house, but not a home.

“I know,” Derek responded to the boy, “But you could have come in here and you could have made her pay.”

He glanced to the woman currently lying on the floor. “And you didn’t, because you’re good. You’re not Gary. You’re nothing like him.”

Derek then spread his arms in a gesture of surrender. “Look at me. I don’t want to hurt you.”

Emily held stiff as he holstered his gun and continued to talk the boy down.

“Okay? Let’s make a deal. Give me that gun. I promise I will walk you out of here and you will never have to come back.”

It was those words that seemed to break through the fog behind the boy’s eyes, a new life igniting in them.

“Sound pretty good?”

He gave the slightest nod, and Emily could see the tears in his eyes. Still she daren’t move until the gun was safely retrieved by Derek. When he passed it to her and brought the boy into his arms in a tight hug, she finally exhaled.

“I got you,” he promised and Emily could feel the relief from the boy too.

* * *

It was after, when they were tidying up at the precinct, that Emily made the offer. Which felt more like a confession.

“I could take her,” she said to Hotch, impossibly casual as she sorted through files.

He looked up, trademark frown appearing. “Take her?”

“Carrie,” Emily supplied, and then, as if it were obvious, “to DC.”

“You mean to live with you?”

“Yeah,” she confirmed, still busying herself with collecting files.

Hotch on the other hand didn’t let his eyes leave her, like he was profiling her. “Why would you want to do that?”

Again, Emily made it seem like it was the most obvious course of action.

“I have room, money,” she said with almost a shrug of her shoulders. “And you know, she’s smart; two, three years she goes to college.” So maybe that last bit was overkill.

“Prentiss.” The tone and use of her name made her look up.

“This is the job, and I need to know that you can be objective.”

It was terribly patronising, and Emily found it not only offensive, but also a slap to the face - like it was a personal assault on her character. But of course she would never admit that hurt out loud. Instead she took that fire and turned her response into an attack.

“And I need to know that I can be human.”

There was a long moment before Hotch continued. “JJ heard from the family and they’re on their way from LA.”

Another slap to the face. This time she felt incredibly stupid. And all the more so for Hotch letting her explain herself before telling her this information.

“Oh.” She didn’t think her voice had sounded so weak in one mere syllable.

The pity, verging on concern, on Hotch’s face didn’t help.

She forced a smile. “That’s great.”

For a fleeting few moments it seemed like her life was about to change, that she was going to be someone different. More importantly, that shebelievedshe could be someone different: someone capable of looking after someone else, someone that they would need. She wasn’t quite sure what had come over her, an insane adrenaline rush? Nonetheless, it was just that – a fleeting moment. And all too soon she was back to being the person she always knew herself to be. It felt like a sign from the universe: you’re not someone anyone needs.

Except then came another moment, one that felt the opposite of fleeting. No, this settled deep inside of her with a warmth that was entirely foreign.

They were flying back on the jet, everyone exhausted from the emotional toll of the case. Emily had been quick to take her seat and busied herself with staring out the window, not in the mood for conversation. She couldn’t sleep, as was common. As much as she wanted to she couldn’t turn her thoughts of, as she’d become such an expert at. The sound of Hotch calling his son didn’t help matters. Like it was a taunt. What had been so special about this case? What had made her make such an embarrassment of herself, to think she was worthy of such a life? What had changed?

JJ slipping into the seat opposite her was welcome company. She couldn’t help the small smile that crossed her face before turning back to the window. Comfortable silence, she recalled. Or, better yet, comforting.

“You okay?”

Or maybe not so silent.

Feeling caught, Emily blinked and lifted her head. Even now, a year of case after case, she still felt her breath catch every time their eyes met. JJ could see the silent question in those big brown eyes, reminding them both that JJ could not in fact read the other woman’s mind (although the years to come would test that theory greatly).

The weak “yeah” Emily offered didn’t sound convincing in the least.

JJ nodded, even though concern was still very evident. Emily appreciated her going along with the lie.

“They’re good people,” JJ said.

Emily frowned before JJ continued with “Carrie’s family,” and she sighed.

“Good. I’m glad.”

And despite her own feelings, she was. Except now it was harder for her to keep up the façade.

“I think it’s a good idea though.”

“What’s that?” the words sounded tired, because she was. But also curious.

“You,” JJ explained, and Emily frowned. “Kids.”

Emily gave a soft laugh, so close to a scoff, entirely disbelieving. Had she been so obvious? She hoped this wasn’t the new gossip among the entire team. Hey, the new girl’s trying to fill the aching hole in her life with any child without a home, better keep an eye on her!

But she knew JJ had a certain way of reading her that the others didn’t. Despite being the non-profiler on the team, she could see into Emily’s mind in a way that almost scared her.

“I can see it,” JJ continued, words earnest. Emily turned back to face her.

There was no doubt that the next “yeah?” she let out was the weakest she’d sounded all day, voice close to breaking. She couldn’t help it; she felt completely cut open in that moment, all vulnerabilities on display for the woman in front of her. It was an alien feeling, but not entirely unwelcome.

She held her gaze, eyebrows upturned with the silent question of you think I’m worth that kind of love? She hoped not bleeding through.

The way JJ was watching her - finger pressed to her bottom lip, eyes sparkling with something she couldn’t quite pinpoint - Emily felt her heart flutter. It certainly wasn’t the first time the blonde had had that effect. But this had a different weight behind it.

There was something so deliberate about that moment. And just for those few seconds, everyone else on the plane dissipated. There was only this woman in front of her, telling her she was worthy of everything she never dared hoped for: a family, a home. A voice in the back of her head told her to slow down, to push these thoughts away like she had so many times. But in that moment, with this woman looking at her the way she was, she found herself unable to. For once, she found herself daring to hope.

Emily Prentiss had never been one to set up roots. Because she knew any kind of home she’d try to build would inevitably come crashing down. It was just what happened for her. But in that moment, staring out a tiny plane window into the night sky, she let herself dream of a life she’d never before thought she could have. That one day she could build a home.

#emily prentiss #criminal minds #jemily #mine #fanfiction #fanfic #I just spent about half an hour trying to get the italics to work on ao3 #this might be a sign of insanity

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captainlydwinchester · 5 years

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Jessica Jones is the best thing to happen to Matt Murdock, change my mind.

Matt is going through hell from the start of the Defenders to the end of the Defenders. He lost all of his friends, and the woman he thought was the love of his life. He’s a mess, living with the guilt that comes with being the surviving, more stable half of an abusive relationship. He survived, just to see this woman rebirth into a psycho Zombie version of herself that he’s going to have to put down.

And yet, while Matt is at his lowest and most alone, Jessica Jones comes along and brings out a side of Matt we’ve really only heard about. This Matt is funny, and quick witted. He’s willing to team up and trust.

We see Matt smile more along side Jessica in the Defenders- genuine smiles, not sarcastic, ironic, self-deprecating smiles- than he has in the entire series so far. Every single time Jessica gives him crap about something, he’s not frustrated and defensive like he can be with Foggy and Karen, he seems genuinely amused by her. And perhaps that’s because it’s clear very early on that Jessica respects and admires him. That she’s actually willing to forsake her loner tendencies to work with him. And while she will not fall into taking him half as seriously as he takes himself, she accepts that he is Daredevil.

Almost instantly upon meeting Jessica Jones, Matt treats her like a friend and an equal. There’s no hiding from her, no angst driven urge to protect her from himself. She would never put up with that crap. They’re a team. She can handle it. And because of that he can be both Matt and Daredevil with her.

Something he has never been able to reconcile with any of his relationships thus far.

Matt and Karen were drawn together because of their similarities- similarities which when combined knock them both off balance. They are both striving to be atone for every past sin. They are both striving to do it all themselves. They are both convinced- if they just try harder- they can save everyone. They can fix every thing. They can figure it out. While this can make them good friends, it makes them terrible at offering support and balance in a relationship. They need people who can balance them from spiraling out of control. People who can benefit from, and value their altruism. People who can let Matt and Karen’s tendency to strive towards the light inspire them to be better. People who will support them in their fight, while reminding them not to be martyrs. People who will love and respect their light, while not letting it consume them. That’s why Karen and Frank click together perfectly. And that’s why Matt needs someone like Jessica.

Jessica tempers Matt’s sense of purpose and Matt pulls Jessica into one.

Matt Murdock, who likes to think of himself as God’s soldier, who thinks the world is on his shoulders and tends to make everything his responsibility is the perfect balancing act to Jessica Jones’s refusal to play the role of super hero. To her utter shirking of the very idea that any form of special strength could suddenly make her responsible to use it.

They both have a tendency to be wallowing assholes. But they’re assholes that have very little tolerance with each other’s coping mechanisms and would drag each other out of their slumps real fast. Jessica will mock Matt for his self flagellating hero complex, and his inability to stop long enough for a rib to heal endlessly, and Matt would never stand for Jessica’s tendency to lock herself away and self destruct into a hot mess for months.

They both have pasts. And they both already know about each other’s pasts. In their brief time together they found a way to tell each other that they knew about the cards they were holding close, the ones they kept from everyone. And never once did either of them try to mock, exploit, or discredit the other person with that information.

Jessica doesn’t care about saving people. Matt cares about saving everyone. They both save each other- Jessica’s first time meeting Elektra is to slam a car into her, and the first time Matt is Daredevil around Jessica he saves her life

Jessica, while telling him his horns are stupid, still only ever supports Matt. She never tells him not to be Daredevil, even though she herself hates the idea of having to be a superhero. She understands what brought him here. And it seems to inspire her to stand up for something. To maybe be a little more than she was before.

So whether you love them as Bros or ship them romantically, I think it’s safe to say that Jessica Jones is the healthiest relationship Matt Murdock has had in a long time. And they just both deserve and need each other so much.

Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.

#matt murdock #daredevil #jessica jones #mattxjessica #jonesdevil #jessicaxmatt #jessica jones x matt murdock #matt murdock x jessica jones #darejones #the defenders #defenders #Marvels the defenders #mattjess #jessmatt #mess

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areluctantsblog · 5 years

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Teenker headcanon

I got temporarily obsessed with teenker a few days ago and i had this idea. I haven't made a headcanon post before, but I need to get this out of my system. I'd love to write it (even written one scene) but it'd be such an enormous work that I don't think I'll have time to write it anytime soon. Hope y’all enjoy, have fun :)

tw: pseudo-incest

Canonically, Harley lives with his mother after his father leaves them. In this hc he gets orphaned in IM3 and Tony adopts him.

They move to New York, but Harley doesn't like it there, so they move back to his hometown. Tony buys/builds a lake house similar to what we've seen in Endgame. They also have garage/lab where they tinker together.

Tony is still Iron Man and he works tirelessly with the team. He flies to New York most days, but if Harley needs him, he stays home and makes sure that his boy is all right.

Harley is doing well, he likes his new high school much better than the one he started in New York. He's not a posh kid and doesn't want to become one despite Tony's unlimited funds. He's glad that Tony understands and accepts him this way.

Sometimes, he goes along with Tony to New York. If not forced to live there, he quite enjoys Stark Tower. However, the company that comes with it is more complicated. Being at the receiving end of the attentions of a group of superheroes is flattering and embarrassing at the same time, especially if one is 15.

Ultron happens and it shakes both Tony and Harley.

Harley's always known that Tony - he never thinks about him as his father - could get in danger, but actually fearing for his life is terrible. In the two years since the adoption no mission came close to that of Sokovia and Harley finds himself wishing that Tony would quit.

After his vision, where he sees Harley dead, too, the only thing Tony wants is to hug his boy and make sure that he's all right. He wants to protect him and the others, but it all backfires. They win, but the price is terrible and so is Tony's guilt.

It's hard times for both of them and it doesn't get better any time soon because Civil War happens.

Tony recruits Peter Parker and after the fighting is done, he doesn't ghost him, but invites him to the lake house.

Harley gets jealous and worried, because Peter is so much more like Tony, a genius superhero, and Harley has no idea how he can compete with that. Tony is bound to love Peter more and Harley thinks he can already see the signs in the way Tony's hand lingers on Peter's shoulder and how it slips down lower on his back than appropriate.

But Harley can't resent Peter because the boy really is very likeable. He starts to enjoy his visits and tries not to think too much about the time Peter gets to spend with Tony in New York.

It takes Tony about half a year to admit that he's attracted to Peter Parker. It fucks him up, but he's powerless against it. All he can do is withhold his offer that Peter could spend weekends and holidays at the lake house. May is busy, but she's there and Tony is also better off without the constant temptation. However, with May getting a new job that keeps her away 5 days a week and the summer holiday approaching Tony runs out of excuses. He knows that Peter would love to be their guest and as far as he can tell Harley wouldn't mind either.

For the most part, Harley doesn't mind. He gets along greatly with Peter. Tony is on his best behaviour most of the time, so Harley can deal with their attraction, too. The hardest part might be when Peter goes back to New York to patrol. At those times, Harley has trouble falling asleep. It's not only that he worries for Peter, but also his other issues that he only allows himself to think about alone. The thing is, that despite the support Tony could offer him, Harley doesn't want to go to university. He wants to be a mechanic, wants to help people by repairing their vehicles and other machines, wants the simple life of owning a little workshop. He always had something similar in mind and getting the chance to enjoy the superb workshop Tony put together for them convinced Harley about his plans. The problem was Tony, or more exactly his reaction. Harley dreaded to disappoint him. It was one of the things that got worse after Peter came into their lives. Tony has never shut up about how the kid is bound to get into MIT. Harley knows he has to talk to Tony, but he waits, hoping that it'll get easier.

Peter loves this summer. Despite his worries that Harley might not be happy about his presence, he finds that they are soon becoming close friends. He still goes on patrol three or four times a week. He agreed to share it with Tony, and it works fine, except for the fact that they rarely spend the evening together. Peter is disappointed, because he admires the family that is Tony and Harley - and he also enjoys being near Mr Stark for other, more private reasons.

Homecoming still happens that autumn. Tony is not ghosting Peter, but he wants to spend time with Harley to work on their relationship. At the start of his last year in high-school, Harley tells Tony about his plans and also his fears. Tony has nothing against Harley becoming a mechanic, but he's deeply upset that Harley thought he could possibly be a disappointment. As they talk through it, Harley's jealousy comes to light, too. Well, not the part where Tony wants to get into Peter’s pants, nor the part that it only bothers Harley because it's not him that Tony's after. No, they keep silent about all that, but they still discuss Harley's frustration that comes from being ordinary next to two genius superheroes.

It works and they reach a new level of trust despite keeping heavier secrets than ever before.

Tony is stricken with guilt after what the Vulture does to Peter in his absence.

At first Peter waves it off and says that he's a hero on his own, without Tony's help, but eventually he starts having symptoms indicative of PTSD.

Tony invites Peter over for weekend to work it out together. Peter ends up staying for a whole week and even Harley stays home from school. They all share their thoughts and feelings about the events and sort out all the remorse and resentment that appeared either consciously or subconsciously. If they weren't before, they definitely become a family after this. In the intervals of the deep conversations, Tony cooks for them and the boys enjoy the autumn air by rowing on the lake. They watch movies and torture Tony with 21th century music. By the time next Monday arrives, they are all relieved and happy once more.

The rest of the year goes by quietly. They celebrate Christmas together and Harley only feels a sting of envy when Peter pulls out the flashy new suit that Tony made for him. It only lasts however, until Harley himself opens his gift and finds a comfortable looking, yet obviously high-tech overall in it, tailored to suit the needs of a mechanic. He hugs Tony with warmth and gratitude.

Peter feels pretty much the same. He smiles as he watches Tony hug Harley. They really made it work and now are able to admit their emotions in front of each other. Well, the family friendly ones at least. The thought makes Peter blush.

By the time May arrives, both conspicuous packages are hidden. The delicious cookies she brings make up for her being late.

Next term is quiet for both boys. They chat a lot and seize every opportunity to meet. Sometimes, Tony takes them somewhere, skiing (neither of them knows skiing, but they have fun learning), hiking (Peter's spider senses help a great deal) and to various car shows (where Peter can silently admire the awed expressions of Tony's and Harley's faces).

Harley graduates and he plans to enjoy one last summer before starting mechanic school and work at a nearby shop.

Peter gets there too as soon as school ends.

At first, Harley is happy to see him, then, when he actually looks at him, he knows that he's fucked. Peter got ripped. He's still slender, but those muscles are impossible to miss. When Peter hugs him on the threshold, it's all Harley can do not to pop a boner.

The situation gets worse when Peter comes downstairs after dropping his bags into his room, wearing nothing but swimming trunks and invites Harley to the lake.

It's not easy for Harley to come to terms with the new situation. Peter became hot. He's still lovely, fluffy and cute but now, Harley wants Peter to pin him to the wall and whisper dirty things in his ear. The fact that he's sure that Peter couldn’t talk dirty without blushing and stammering does nothing to lessen Harley's desire. On the contrary, he wants to kiss that blush off Peter's cheeks.

And there's more. They never talked like this. Not just about science, music and other stuff, but about themselves, their hopes and fears. They've never opened up so much without Tony being there, taking care of them.

It's about three weeks after Peter's arrival, while they are by the lake again that Harley walks up to him and tells Peter that if he has no objection, he's going to kiss him.

Peter doesn't object but gets very nervous because he's not sure if they're allowed to kiss.

Harley doesn't push it. They talk, lying on the landing stage. It's still that afternoon when they kiss eventually.

Things escalate fast.

Peter sneaks into Harley's room two nights later. This time, Tony is at home. Harley still gives him a blowjob - Peter's first - and gets off on his dirtiest fantasies about Tony catching them and taking revenge on Harley for being with his precious Peter by fucking him - preferably both of them - hard into the mattress.

Tony spends the next weekend with them. It means less kisses and more fuel for their secret desires.

Once Tony leaves, Harley and Peter continue their game of making out in every corner of the house and the grounds. When Harley suggests Tony's bedroom, Peter hesitates. That's when Harley decides to risk it and he tells Peter how turned on Tony would be to know that Peter got off in his bed. The only thing that could make him more into it, if it was his doing.

Peter doesn't deny it. He noticed Tony's eyes and hands linger on him. He welcomes them, god he does. He'd be so ready to do it - he finds himself going hard from the idea even now that he's with Harley. He feels guilty but Harley kisses it off him. He tells Peter how much he envies him, how he would love to receive such attention from Tony.

Harley takes Peter's virginity in Tony's bed that day. They change the sheets, but the smell of sex lingers. Later that night, without him realising it, it helps Tony come so hard that he can't help crying out. His boys listen.

After this, things change. It's obvious, even though its exact manifestations are imperceptible. They all play it coolly. Tony sees how much closer his boys are and it would be hypocritical if the possibility of something going on between them didn't cross his mind. Peter is scorching hot and his Harley is a beautiful young man. When Tony sees that Harley and Peter are all right, he decides to accept it without looking for an explanation.

Peter falls in love with Harley, too. He had no idea that there was enough place in his heart for two people, but he's happy to find that there is.

Harley realises that - apart from Tony - Peter is the only one to whom he opened up so trustingly. In a way their relationship had been unique a long time before that kiss. And it all led towards where they are now.

The separation that the new school year brings about is difficult for all of them, but it's also exciting. Harley loves mechanic school and Peter - being Peter - enjoys school. They meet as often as they can. Tony helps them, flying almost daily between the city and his home.

The time Tony spent in the lab that summer - his boys are growing up, they don't need him 24/7 - means that he makes ground-breaking progress in nanotechnology. First, he designs and builds Mark L. It has to be him first, so that he's able to protect his family. That word still stings. Of course, Harley is his family and now Peter, but there's Pepper and Happy, too, and Rhodey and even those he lost. No matter what, he wants to protect them all.

After the Mark L, he starts working on the Iron Spider armour. He means to fish it by Christmas, but one month is nowhere near enough to put all the special features in it.

Tony sits down to talk with Harley at the end of the year. He asks him about how the many changes in their lives are working out for him. He's relieved to see Harley content. He remarks that Tony's happiness would add greatly to his and that he'd love to help. It makes Tony feel a pang of guilt.

Tony tells Harley about the Iron Spider suit and offers to make him one, too, in case he ever needs it for protection.

Harley refuses, saying that it's not fair to stay away from the fight if he has an armour and he doesn’t want to fight. "I've got you for protection," he says and tears well up in Tony's eyes as Harley cups his face with overwhelming trust and love.

Infinity War happens.

Peter dies. Tony is stuck in space for three weeks and one day. Harley is maddened by grief. He's curled up on the living room floor, eyeing the door through his tears, when Natasha and Rhodey find him. They bring him to the compound to keep him safe and care for him.

When Tony returns, they don't let go of each other for a long time. Harley sleeps next to Tony's bed and they leave despite the doctor's orders after Tony's return.

The others don't bother Tony with their plan to go after Thanos. He's made his point clear to Steve and he's too weak anyway. But mostly, they respect that he's a father who needs to mourn and care for his other son.

On the first day Tony and Harley just curl up on the sofa and hold each other. They cry, then they sleep. On the second day, Harley changes Tony’s bandages. On the third day, Tony cooks and they eat it. On the fourth day Tony remembers to call May. When she doesn’t answer, he flies to New York. Harley accompanies him despite his reluctance. They find the apartment locked up. Tony blasts in the door. First, they smell the awful stench of an almost a month-old cereal and milk. Then, they see the small pile of ash on the chair and around the table.

Harley drags Tony to the jet. Friday flies them home. They are back at day one, clutching at each other desperately and sobbing.

Happy shows up next day. Later, Harley figures that Friday must have called him. He brings food and moral support. During the three days Happy spends there, Tony gets on his feet. He starts caring for Harley again.

It takes Harley a whole day after it's just the two of them again, to say something other than please and thank you.

He tells Tony that he loved Peter. When Tony says that he understands, Harley realises that this is it, the moment he never thought would come, when they talk about it.

They do, they tell each other everything without being exact once. They don't need to be. They've both known, now it's just confirmation. It's the most intimate moment they've ever shared.

That night, Harley goes into Tony's bedroom. Tony protests, but Harley doesn't stop. "Don't you love me, too?" Harley asks and Tony is torn, because he does and doesn't, not this way, not before...

Harley snuggles close to him, wraps his arm and leg around Tony, not hiding his erection, nor the moan he lets out when he can finally feel the heat of Tony's body pressed against his. He looks at Tony from a few inches distance and asks him if he still wants him to tell how they were with Peter - something he asked that afternoon.

Tony can't breathe from shock and from arousal, but he nods, eyes wide and glued to Harley. He's never seen his son like this, was never supposed to see him like this, light blue eyes darkened by passion, blonde curls already debauched, lips glistening where he licked them in the most delicious way...

Tony is lost. He nods again and wraps his arms around Harley.

Harley tells him how he liked to see, touch and love Peter. Each memory hurts, each fantasy reminds him that he will never able to play any of them out with Peter, but Tony's soft stroking on his back and his erection pressed into Harley's thigh keeps him anchored to the present.

When Tony sees Harley's eyes glisten with tears, he kisses him. His guilt, though heavy, feels nothing compared to their loss. Crossing the line doesn't bring the burning shame of sin, but the relief of honesty. This is Tony's confession to both of his boys.

The weight of what they've done catches up with them next morning. Harley fears that he tainted Peter's memory and their love. Tony fears that he ruined his son.

It takes days for them to figure it out. They spend some time apart but return to each other in their grief.

When Tony learns that the others found and killed Thanos, he laughs. Thor executed the titan and Tony fucked his son. Both are big deal, yet neither made a difference in the universe.

Slowly, in matter of months rather than weeks, Tony starts working again. He builds tech to support the rest of humanity in their efforts to stabilise their world once again. In some cases, he had the plans already. In others, he comes up with new ideas.

Harley goes back to school. Most of his teachers survived and after a few months of recuperation they've decided to go back to work. The class that wasn't too big to begin with now looks pitiful.

Harley's boss at the garage died, too. Only him and another assistant are left. They take over the shop, but the other guy breaks down and starts skipping. Harley understands but he doesn't have the strength to reach out to him. He keeps going on his own, repairing cars and machines. People are grateful but they both know that none of them can repair what really matters.

At first Harley and Tony pretend to go to bed separately, only for one of them to end up crawling into the other's each night. Then, they give in and use Tony's bedroom. Sometimes, they do things, sometimes they just sleep.

When Harley is stricken with guilt, he tells himself that he needs it for survival, but deep down he knows that it's not that. Not only that. He's wanted Tony for a long time and having him is bliss, no matter the pain.

Tony feels much the same, even though he never thought about Harley this way before. However, it's only in his arms that he comes close to feeling something akin to happiness since Peter's death.

Peter's birthday is hell. The New York memorial place hasn't reached the letter p yet, so they have no place to honour Peter's memory apart from their home. Rhodey calls. Happy drops by with Pepper. They make several attempts at conversation but end up eating in silence. The knowledge that Peter would have turned eighteen that day weighs them down.

Christmas is awful, too. It's just Harley and Tony on Christmas eve but Rhodey, Pepper, Happy and even Natasha visit on boxing day. This celebration is merrier than Peter's birthday but still quite subdued.

Their own birthdays, Harley and Tony celebrate with each other.

It's not until a year later that his guilt catches up to Tony and he suggests that Harley should find someone else. Not to replace Peter, but to replace him. Harley is enraged. He refuses point blank and sucks Tony off there, in the middle of the kitchen to prove his point.

Tony doesn't mention it again. Sometimes the idea that he should, that he must put and end to it becomes stronger, but then he embraces their sinful reality again.

When Steve turns up with Nat and Scott Lang, Tony's alone. He refuses to participate in the madness they propose, but he is unable to stop his mind.

By the time Harley gets home from the workshop Tony not only has to tell him about the visit and the proposal, but also the solution he found. Harley breaks out in tears. He asks in a trembling voice if they can get Peter back. Tony tells him that if they succeed, they get everyone back. Harley lets him go, but can't resist running after him from the front porch to kiss him and make him promise that he comes back. Tony promises to do whatever it takes. He doesn't tell Harley that Peter will be his priority. Harley must know, but it's easier to keep silent about it.

Endgame happens. It's Thor who snaps and even in his weakened state, he survives.

After the battle, Tony takes Peter home. Harley flies towards them, sobbing and Peter almost falls as he throws himself into his arms. When Harley kisses him, Peter pulls back. Tony is quick to step closer and assure him that it's all right. Peter's eyes go wide as Tony touches his face. He glances at Harley for an explanation, but doesn’t need it anymore when Tony's lips crush against his.

Half an hour and some hurried explanations later Peter goes home to find May amidst repeated confessions of his love for both Harley and Tony.

That night, Harley takes control and fucks Tony until tears. Tony needs it. As he surrenders himself completely, he can feel the tension of the mission finally dissolve.

The next few days pass in a frenzy of burials and celebrations. It’s almost a whole week before all three of them can return to the lake house and find some peace. Harley is the first to arrive. He flew back a few days ago because he got a van to repair. Peter is the next to arrive. He walks straight to Harley and straddles him on the couch. After a long kiss he tells him that Tony is outside with Steve, talking about rebuilding. Harley groans and tells him to run along and rescue him. Peter is happy to go and he soon returns with a much turned on Tony. At Harley’s raised eyebrow Tony explains how their little boy’s innocence is the sexiest look on him. Peter glows with pride and moans as he feels two sets of hands move to undress him.

#teenker #harley x peter #harley x tony #harley x peter x tony #pseudo-incest #no one is related #from IM3 to endgame #tw: pseudo-incest

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muwi-translates · 5 years

Text

why u should love sanada fucking yukimura

man, this character... is one of the most lovable otome bois i have encountered in a long time,,, because he’s such a loser.

i wouldn’t even call this a character analysis anymore i just spilled all my feels and love for this stupid wholesome boy. thank you to my two biggest sandman supporters, this is all yuu’s fault. @sea-reiusly @snow--blanket

LET’S START. so,,, aside from the fact that he’s cute-dumb; you should love him because he loves you a lot and he deserves love too.

he is the literal embodiment of boyish selfless love.

if iI had to describe him I would describe him as a big red blanket you can wrap around yourself and make you feel safe and warm. or a big spoon of honey; slightly bitter but also sweet.

1) he is mega Friend for Life

first things first; he would be, and is, a good friend - if not to you then to the people he cares about. his whole concept is ‘boy next door’. he is soft, he won’t disappoint you because he cares about you as a person and he worries sometimes even if he doesn’t show it. for example in Shingen’s route he plays messenger for you - he thinks you’re ‘cool’, you’re his pal. he seems like the type who could develop feelings for you but is content just being close to you as your friend and see you happy. despite being told that he’s ‘tactless’, Yukimura actually, not surprisingly, has the ability to read other people, but just sucks at expressing it to you. so occasionally, he ends up proper advice to other suitors if you’re not on his route:

like the time Kenshin was excited to bring you home with him to Kasugayama and you were torn about leaving the home you’ve come to love and your warlord family. to Yukimura, family and friends are important, that is what one of his 'wants' are, after all. he does it for shingen, he does it for his men and the men in the Takeda army.

in a way he’s a bit like your brother too. except Hideyoshi is the clearly caring, wise older brother and Yukimura is your bratty younger brother who would throw a banana at your face, and pretends he doesn’t give a shit about you but that one time he sees you carrying heavy stuff down the hall he takes it from you and calls you ‘weak’ but he just doesn’t want to see you hurt.

if he's not established to be quite as close to you in other routes (Ieyasu/Masamune), he continues to help you on behalf of sasuke. even though you’re a complete stranger to him and he barely knows anything about you background - especially considering sasuke gave him a coverup story and not what or who you actually are. it's moments like these where he is willing and able to separate 'his job' and 'enemy' and do things that would otherwise produce results the opposite of what he’s supposed to be doing (which is actually a point of conflict in his OWN route, which will I will talk about later uwu)

2) ultimate Fam man

Yukimura is inherently a selfless character. he doesn’t care about himself, he only cares about the people around him and what he can do for them. he overworks himself and shoulders all the stress by himself, to take weight off shingen (it's always 'leave it to me, lord shingen!!' from him).

I believe he has a mild form of ptsd as well; he mentally and emotionally cuts himself away from feeling anything in battle to perform his best, he has trouble sleeping at night, and he ends up holding things he’s sleeping with very tightly (eg. you). we also learn from Shingen that:

he was raised to be strong and upstanding, but has problems with adapting, so he puts all he has into what he does, meaning he gets hurt more (EN)

when he has his heart set on things, his conviction lasts for a long, long time (CN)

so, he likes it a lot when he gets to surround himself with people he cares about. he comes off as an ambivert leaning on extrovert, based off how he seems to like hanging out with his men not just as their field commander but as their friend, he enjoys parties and even entertains Kenshin. it’s been noted that he is visibly more relaxed and laughs often around his soldiers - so it’s safe to assume he gets energy by being around the people he cares about, because at least he knows that they’re alive.

in fact, the idea of people around him dying makes him angry. he’s willing to put aside his hatred of Nobunaga to ensure that no unnecessary lives are lost, even if he’s sacrificing himself in the process. they all share the simple dream of one day being able to return to their homeland, and Yukimura expects almost all of them to be able to fulfill that dream together.

so when Shingen insinuates that he won’t be able to be there for that, Yukimura gets understandably worried and angry.

okay, so now we know that he's a selfless iron woobie. what else? as stated above we know that he is actually a closet Sensitive Guy(TM). Yukimura is sensitive to his own feelings, at least. he's a Thinker, he thinks a lot and even overthinks. he is a tsundere to himself - because he's hardwired himself to sacrifice other needs and wants aside from the goals he's set for himself. if it’s not something for the benefit of his dream or Shingen or Sasuke - does he really need it?

he clings onto all the light he can hold onto no matter how small for the sake of his dream - it’s literally defined his life, he’s somewhat dependant on using his body to fight for something or someone and that’s why he’s always moving around doing something. Yukimura also respects other people who have a similar mindset (also his highest criteria when it comes to women; he gotta have something to respecc).

if he didn’t have anything to fight for what do you think would happen? :thinking:,,,, check out chapter 13 of his dramatic route for the answer,,,, it is not pretty :(

3. 95% giver 5% taker (and only after some self-deprecation)

of course his selflessness also applies to his love interest??

even as a lover he's such an adorable loser that makes me want to cry. he is selfless love in the form of a man. he is basically a dog boi. he only wants to take care of you, your happiness is his happiness. he always offers to make YOU happy and not himself first- it's like as long as you're smiling he can keep going, even if he's tired or if he worked all day, he always has time to spoil and coddle you-- if you want all his attention he'll give it to you, no matter how tired or busy he is. in fact, he thinks that its part of the job description, that its his duty to indulge in your desires. even on his birthday, you know the day where HE'S supposed to get something, he goes out of his way to get YOU a present.

the conflict in his route is literally him coming to terms that he wants something for himself, denying himself from his own goddamn happiness. he finds out that you are on the side of his enemies, yet he still wants you because he’s fallen for you - but he tells/forces himself to think that he doesn’t need you after all, because “it wasn’t meant to be” and that he doesn’t deserve you because he brought you to the battlefield. even though he can do exactly what he needs to if you were simply just ‘friends’ or ‘acquaintances’ - the idea of giving himself true happiness by being with the person he loves? nah, fam.

literally the only time he wanted to be selfish for once he slapped himself and said ‘no’. if you didn’t chase after him, the regret would eat at him for a long time, regret that he’ll eventually learn to squash down inside himself and only add to fuel of performing only for others - and not himself.

👏 👏 related analysis: why does he come off as insensitive when it comes to his route? why has he demonstrated that he is actually not Stupid but is also a butthead to you?

answer: defence mechanism - he thinks women are bothersome because they cry. and when women cry he lacks the confidence(?) to use words to comfort them. they embarrass him, he’s a tsundere, he only says things truly from his heart under Very Specific Circumstances where he is completely vulnearable and open (like pre-spice or... some angst situation).

so instead he just falls back to being selfless like he normally is. all he knows is how to care about other people, carry their burdens and wanting them to rely on him. that's why when you're upset at the festival, he just keeps shoving food at you instead of asking 'what's wrong' and going off on that. because his mind is literally just thinking food = good = makes people happy = ok, let's do that then. that's also why he'd rather you be angry than sad. sad is bad because he doesn’t know how to deal with bad except being physically intimate - pretty sure Yukimura would rather die if he had to hug every crying woman he ever encountered.

conclusion: he’s just a lost, lost boi who doesn’t know how to comfort people so he sacrifices himself and puts others ahead of him using actions - he pampers, he lets people vent out on him, the works. what a fucking wholesome loser who needs to love himself for once.

👏 👏 end of insensitive boi in love analysis

there’s a part of Yukimura that is actually a bit insecure. it's odd because he’s usually so confident in himself, and so proud, but he’s also so self-deprecating? under that tough boy exterior is just a boi who wants to be loved. he wants someone who will be there for him and support his stupid ass. he uses himself to hold up everyone else's burdens, but sometimes there's nobody that might be able to do the same to him. he wants someone to come home to, when he's stressed and wants some loving because otherwise he'd hole up his emotions and explode-- if he didn't have Shingen and Sasuke there with him.

his route sort of expresses the fact that Yukimura has never experienced a ‘mature love’ before, or a love where he imagines a life together with them. crushes, probably at some point in his life. sexual experience? how can he not have any??? but mature love? questionable.

these moments are few and far between because its not explored quite as much, but when they do...

he says things like "don't leave me, i'll prove that i'm the man for you." (bitch doesn't have to prove jack shit, he literally radiates with Care and Love) and “I need you”. he just doesn't want you to disappear on him.

why’d you think you decided to leave without telling him? bitch would fucking fight the sky to keep you with him.

he's scared to lose you because he's finally found someone who is willing to accept him and taught him that its ok for him to be selfish for once and do things for his own sake and his own happiness. what he wants most is to just come home and eat food with you together. every encounter with you is precious to him because you rarely see each other. he wants to spend time with you. he doesn't like it when things cut into plans that seperate the two of you- but he doesn't mind it if plans didn't run as expected as long as he still got to spend the day with you. even if he's busy, he lies to go out with you to do things that YOU want.

he’s finally come to find some happiness outside of work and outside of how he already copes - that alone is special to him, whether you end up as his friend or as his lover.

so basically:

you should love this guy bc he is mega Lovable and radiates warm Energy,,, he will always care about ur dumb ass one way or another.

#ikemen sengoku #cybird #ikesen #ikesen yukimura #Sanada Yukimura #by the way i fucking love this loser a lot #if you couldn't tell #i stan him so much #he deserves so much love #big loser muscly boi

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agoddamn · 5 years

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Just out of curiosity, let’s go through some of these personal skills and how they were localized. Cut because it got long...

不思議な魅力 / Supportive This does actually describe what the ability does, but it’s dry, which is an especially unfortunate choice for the main character. I’d go with Mysterious Charisma or something along those lines. Mystic Charm? Hell, if character length is a problem even just Charismatic has a more special feeling to it than Supportive, which is a quality you look for in a bra moreso than a main character.

ダーティファイト / Highwayman This is literally just “Dirty Fight[ing]” in katakana, so it’s not like it was confusing. I have no idea why they changed it, given that dirty fighting cleverly both describes the ability itself (it only activates when the enemy can’t attack back) and Ashura’s struggle as a character (he hates himself for being an honorless thug) so...what was gained from changing it to Highwayman, which is just a synonym for his base class?

農地の主 / Forager Descriptive, which is good! My only complaint is that the original title, Farmland Master, implies a lot of competence on her part that Forager doesn’t capture. Nature Master? Living off the Land, if we get creative?

おっちょこちょい / Mischievous Completely different term. The Japanese is Scatterbrain. The deeply confusing thing is that this completely changes the nature of her ability, instead implying that she strips people on purpose. I don’t get...why they did this...

お転婆 / Fearsome Blow Completely different term! The Japanese is Tomboy. I guess we’re not allowed to say she’s a tomboy in America. The Japanese word for tomboy supposedly comes from the Dutch ontembaar, which means spirited/indomitable/untameable. Which actually says a lot about the Japanese perception of the term “tomboy”--it’s not “boyish girl” in the sense that we imagine boyish girls, IE short-haired and pink-hating and sports-loving, but “boyish” in the sense of not being quiet and submissive. Personality over appearance. Anyway, in light of that I can understand not using the literal word tomboy in English but Fearsome Blow is just dry. Doesn’t reflect on her personality at all. Even Ferocious Blow would be better.

爆炎使い / Pyrotechnics What always confused me here is that pyrotechnics almost always refers to decorative explosions. You use pyrotechnics to describe tricks or flashy shows, not actual bombs designed to kill people, which is what Saizou is doing. It’s like saying a flamethrower and a flashlight are interchangeable because they both involve light that you point places. I don’t think 爆炎使い is an existing term; the only results on Google for it are Saizou and a Yu-Gi-Oh card. Literally, it’s something like Explosive Flame Messenger/Carrier. Probably a double meaning on Saizou carrying explosive bombs and being an explosive bomb. Hilariously, FEH completely gave up trying to translate this term (which is also his character title in that game) and just rendered it as Angry Ninja. I’d just translate it as Incendiary, trying to keep the double meaning intact.

小さな声援 / Quiet Strength This one is accurate to Sakura’s personality--which is good--but doesn’t describe the effect and misses out on the fact that all three (!) Hoshido princesses have linked personal skills. Aqua’s is Healing Voice, Hinoka’s is Rallying Cry (localization was actually dead on here), and Sakura’s is Little Cheer/Soft Cheer. They’re all voice-related. Localization lost this theme by changing Aqua’s to Healing Descant (a type of melody) and Sakura’s to Quiet Strength. At the very least, Sakura and Hinoka have reciprocal effects so the names really ought to match. They actually did this excellently with the Nohr sisters (Lily’s Poise/Rose’s Thorn) so it’s a shame the Hoshido sisters lost out.

ぼんやり / Optimist Another totally different term. The Japanese is Absent-minded/Airhead. Like, did they feel bad about calling Setsuna dumb? But still left all her supports about how dumb she is? Even more confusingly, Kisaragi’s personal skill is named almost identically. Nobody would do that on purpose. I admit that this one is tricky to name--neither Airhead nor Optimist suggest getting extra-effective healing, but at least Airhead describes her personality. She’s more implacable than optimistic. I’d try to get creative with this one and go with something like Help From My Friends if space allowed, or just fall back to Airhead/Head in the Clouds if airhead sounds too mean.

悪あがき / Triple Threat Once more, different term. The Japanese is something like wasted effort/struggling in vain. I think the implication is that you’re wasting your energy trying to melee Hinata? This is definitely a weird one. Honestly dunno that I’d have a better suggestion; Triple Threat at least gets across that it procs against three weapon types. Last Stand, perhaps.

軍略伝授 / Perspicacious This is another one of those where the game suddenly whips out obscure vocabulary for no apparent reason. When’s the last time you heard someone use perspicacious outside of an English test? The Japanese is Strategy Instructor (or something like “offering strategic advice”), which is why it buffs other units’ hit rate. I can kinda see the connection to being perceptive, but perspicacious, for all its syllables, fails to describe that Yukimura is instructing other people. Strategize would have done the job perfectly well.

勝利への執念 / In Extremis The Japanese is something like “victory through persistence”. This is a case where I actually like how it communicates the ability--it activates under extreme circumstances, when she’s on the edge--but I question the terminology. Latin is a pretty specific choice in language. What about the soft butch French rebel artist says “yeah, Latin is the right choice here”?

風の血 / Wind Disciple Another case of losing the theme. Fuuga, Flora, and Rinka, as the scions of their elemental tribes, all have abilities that go [element] Blood, implying they’re the distant descendants of their founding dragons. They got it with Rinka and Flora, but for some reason fucked up Fuuga.

美しき王 / Peacebringer Japanese is Beautiful King, hahaha. I actually like that the English gets the meaning of the ability--and his role in the story--across, but the Japanese implication that Izana is so beautiful that everyone around him forgets how to fight is really goddamn funny.

怪力 / Puissance The one I’ve been complaining about the most! Why French? Why this word? The Japanese is a pretty simple “super strength”. I totally understand the urge to jazz it up, but this just seems like the worst way to do it. It’s not an easily recognizable term and the diction doesn’t match her character at all, localized OR original. I like the idea of rendering it as Atlas to emphasize her role as Elise’s pillar plus a sly reference to the Charles Atlas strongman stuff, but you could go a million different ways here. Just...not puissance.

奇襲任務 / Opportunist Man, I’m so used to Ambush Duty that I had to look up who Opportunist was actually attached to...which I think says a lot about its success as a character descriptor. Opportunist technically jives with the ‘surprise attack’ part of the Japanese, but not remotely Belka’s personality. The ‘duty’ bit is important here because that’s Belka’s role, she does what she’s told. She’s mechanical. Camilla even likens her to a broken doll. Opportunist generally implies more agency, someone actively taking chances.

青の踊り / Fancy Footwork Azure Dance. I guess Indigo Dance would flow better with Awakening’s localization. I like the dance nod but it’s a shame to miss out on the color wink.

冷血 / Pragmatic Cold-blooded. In this case I understand why it was changed--”cold-blooded” is too close to Flora’s “Ice Blood” (though that didn’t stop them giving Setsuna and Kisaragi literally the same ability?)--and the meaning is mostly intact (pragmatic can just mean simple and efficient, but cold-blooded means cruel). Leon has a couple of other ice-themed symbols in the game, though--his personal weapon, Leon’s Icy Blade, and general references to being cold and heartless. It’s also an ironic contrast to his tome, a tree of life. Cold-blooded fit really well with all that and Pragmatic doesn’t.

ひろい食い / Goody Basket sdfkfghdf the Japanese for this one is like...indiscriminate appetite/open-minded eater/someone who eats stuff they picked up on the floor. Which is why she’s regaining HP, Velour’s just eating random shit she finds. Goody Basket doesn’t remotely capture how funny this is. I’d have called it Five-Second Rule.

乙女心の躍動 / Bibliophile Bibliophile does hint at the effect, but...just looking at a list I honestly thought this was Eponine’s. She’s the one explicitly described as the story-lover. The Japanese is something like Liveliness of a Maiden’s Heart--so it’s Ophelia’s own earnest, girly version of Odin’s Aching Blood. It’s admittedly hard not to have Something Blood on a female character sound kind of lewd or a euphemism for masturbation. What about Pounding Heart?

臆病 / Guarded Bravery Just the opposite meaning here, the Japanese is Timid. Were they afraid of making him look bad?

だまし討ち / Fierce Counter Foul Play! The one that started all this. To copy-paste, the implication is that either male enemies underestimate Foleo’s ferocity because of his feminine appearance or that Foleo is the type of guy who has no compunctions about kicking another guy in the balls (he IS his father’s son), take your pick. Fierce Counter is dry and doesn’t indicate the proc (male enemies) at all.

#fire emblem fates #support comparisons #bootsmeta #if you click read more you consent to a nitpicking-level discussion but it be like that with writing

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theharellan · 5 years

Note

misconception: that solas doesn't form meaningful bonds during his time in the inquisition other than with a romanced inquisitor

send me meta this is actually a different meme but shush | accepting

i’ll be talking about this until the day i die, but solas makes plenty of meaningful relationships beyond not only the romanced inquisitor, but the inquisitor, period.

game mechanics overly emphasise the relationship between any canon companion and the play character, so i sort of understand where this misconception comes from. their arcs are decided, in part, by their relationship to the player and so it would be really invalidating if, say, you has negative solas approval but he still made it clear that he had accepted the reality of the world around him b/c of his friendship with the iron bull, for example. it’s one of the ways the developers make sure their choices matter.

luckily, this is an rp blog, so i can say that an inquisitor can treat solas like absolute shit and he’ll still make ties in the world and realise how fuckin wrong he was, as he well should.

i’m on a tangent and i haven’t even rly started answering this yet, so here we go:

a befriended inquisitor is just as important to solas as a romanced inquisitor. just as important to his development, to his epiphanies, etc. much of the dialogue goes unchanged regardless of if a relationship is platonic or romantic. even if he doesn’t have romantic feelings for the inquisitor, he still feels the whole world change upon meeting them. he still compares them to the ancient wisdoms he’s known in a pre-veil world. i’ve seen jokes that say the lines have romantic overtones, but really i think solas is just the sort of person to form highly emotional friendships. falon’din and dirthamen are implied not to be brothers, but “twin souls,” something that myself and other a-spec ppl have likened to queer platonic partners. while those two have undoubtedly sullied the term for anyone who opposes them, what i’m trying to demonstrate is that solas comes from a society that doesn’t find close platonic friendships odd.

but like i said, this goes beyond the inquisitor.

the fandom vastly understates his relationship with cole most of all. often he’s depicted as one of his fathers, which i can appreciate as a joke, but i feel like it undercuts how important that relationship is– for both of them.

cole goes to solas first when he’s experiencing trouble after adamant, not the inquisitor. not even if they’re a mage. b/c he knows he can trust solas to not use him. solas involves himself in cole’s well-being potentially even if he loathes the inquisitor and everything they are, something he didn’t do for wisdom’s sake, but is willing to for cole. and regardless of the option chosen, solas continues to support him and ask after him:

Solas: How do you feel, Cole? Are you…Cole: I am me. I cannot be bound, broken. I will help the hurt and kill the killers.Solas: I see. I… let me know if I can help.

solas offers affirmation and support for cole, talking him down from what seems to be a panic attack at one point:

Cole: It’s brighter here. Glittering. Glaring. Glinting. I can’t…Solas: It’s a mild tremor in the Veil. Nothing to worry about. Focus on what is here, in this world.Cole: But… what is here?Solas: Feel the ground, the breath in your lungs, fabric rustling against your skin.Cole: (Breathes.) Thank you.Solas: It’s nothing. It can be overwhelming for anyone.

and when cole tries to fix what’s fundamentally broken in solas, solas doesn’t spurn him. this isn’t to say characters who do react with venom when cole oversteps bounds are wrong, cole being able to see in heads doesn’t mean he has the right to speak their pain aloud, but i think it demonstrates the patience solas has for cole being who he is. it has the potential to go down a path that solas doesn’t quite… get. assuming the trespasser line “he didn’t want a body, but she asked him to come” is referring to solas, solas is someone who desperately doesn’t want to have a physical body and is probably afraid of cole having the same regrets as he does.

their relationship also goes both ways. cole offers him support throughout the game, understanding solas in ways that others can’t. not necessarily through any fault of theirs, but being able to key into solas’s emotions goes a long way. and then you get to trespasser, where cole is the one person to speak fondly of solas and the only one to approve if you say you have to save him from the vidasala. imo if we go by game canon solas is closest to cole, even closer than a befriended or romanced inquisitor. since this is an rp blog, that obviously varies, but as it stands no one understands solas like cole and no one understands cole like solas. a cole who becomes more human is likely to become alien to him in some respects, but from canon banter it’s clear that solas is willing to try. this was a very long winded way of saying solas loves cole.

beyond cole, it’s hard to argue solas forms emotionally intimate relationships with others in the inquisition. that being said i also don’t think they have to be emotionally intimate to be meaningful.

it’s, like, 100% canon that he hangs out with people outside of when we drag him places. blackwall has banter that implies they talk regularly, at least enough for blackwall to conclude that solas “knows all there is to know about everything” and even ignoring that they canonically play diamondback together. in banter they swap their experiences at war, although given they’re both hiding something they’re both being vague about it. still, solas clearly comes to regard him highly enough that he’s mad about the revelations of blackwall’s personal quest. a combination of solas having more in common with him than he hoped, and that for all solas has done wrong “killing civilians for fun and profit” wasn’t one of them. and solas seems to have come to respect him enough to apologise, backing out of his initial reaction to accept that thom had taken a step to becoming someone better.

josephine also references speaking to him, despite them never speaking on-screen which was a crime. she says “he has the most fascinating stories” and in ambient dialogue with her agents references occurrences where they seem to speak to nobility together. again, i wouldn’t say they had a deep bond, but i think they developed a rapport.

as for people i do think solas was genuinely friends with, there’s cassandra, varric, and iron bull. unlike the former two there isn’t really a reference to them hanging out outside of banter, but given their relationship i at least like to imagine they spend some time together.

varric and solas clearly spend time together before you meet them in-game, for one. long enough that varric thought of a nickname, though whether “chuckles” was decided on right there or earlier it’s hard to say. the two have actually a pretty funny rapport going, varric being one of the people to bring out solas’s sense of humour without much difficulty. and when they’re not joking around, they have interesting conversations. i’ve actually been wanting to rewrite the balcony scene with thora, my dwarf inquisitor, and solas to incorporate the fact that varric– who makes his living writing– doesn’t match his narrow view of what dwarves should be. it’s just one way the game steers solas in such a way that he isn’t allowed to grow unless the inquisitor gives him permission to, similar to how his view of the qun will flip-flop depending on if he’s talking to iron bull or a friendly qunari inquisitor, but i digress.

with varric, cassandra, and bull alike he demonstrates that he’s more capable of changing his mind than people give him credit for, i think. he admits he might have been mistaken in his interpretation of the dream of a man living his days alone on an island.

cassandra and solas’ relationship started out very hostile from the sound of it, but the hostility is worked out before the inquisitor wakes up, so much attention isn’t drawn to it. solas says he gave up his staff, and while i don’t think he was ever technically a prisoner, i also don’t think he would’ve been allowed to up and leave after that point. he references that she threatened his life if he didn’t get results, and yet in banter he’s complimentary towards her, most notably her ability to surrender the chance for power when she feels she is unfit for the role and that she’s capable of changing her mind. idk, i think their relationship demonstrates the best of both characters– cassandra’s ability to be less hard-line than she is around the likes of varric’s, solas’s ability to respect people with differences of opinions to him, both of their abilities to change their minds about the other.

heck, there’s even the option for some emotional intimacy. cassandra offers her condolences about wisdom, solas comforts her when her faith is shaken, providing hope when she realises her power did not come from the maker as she was taught. he’s also at his misotheist finest in this conversation:

Solas: You seem troubled, Seeker. Still plagued by thoughts of your order?Cassandra: I… am reminded of what I was told following my vigil. They said my abilities were a gift from the Maker, a reward for my faith and dedication. But it was a trick, wasn’t it? A ritual no different that the Harrowing, simply magic…Solas: Do you know how rare spirits of faith are? How difficult it is to draw them to this world? You should be proud, having accomplished something so remarkable, not ashamed it was not what you thought.Cassandra: Thank you, Solas. That… does make me feel better.Solas: Your faith does you credit, Cassandra. I hope your Maker is worthy.

he’s well-aware that cassandra is resolute and uncorrupt, capable of fixing what went wrong with the seekers (even if he is cynical about the inevitable degradation of any organisation). i really don’t know how you read their dialogue and think solas didn’t deeply connect with her in ways that shaped him regardless of his relationship with the inquisitor.

now iron bull is someone whose relationship with solas varies wildly depending on the inquisitor’s choices, and another character whose choice is undercut by the realities of a choice-based narrative. if the chargers are sacrificed they’re under no circumstances friendly, ableit solas seems to pity him in that case. otherwise, solas engages with bull in a way other characters don’t. but to be fair to them, i think solas understands better than any other party member what it’s like to lose your culture and home to help the people you love. through their conversations before his pq– which often got very heated, possibly the angriest solas gets in banter– solas listened and learned and kind of sussed out what bull’s fears were, what was keeping him in the qun. and like, i also think solas has a lot of experience knowing what ppl who are trying to pry themselves out of a toxic religion are also dealing with? what i’m getting at is iron bull imo reminds solas of the elves who fought the evanuris, people who had doubts about the societies they were raised in and broke from it, but still carried the damage it did to them. and he takes steps to reassure bull that “madness” isn’t something he ought to fear, b/c he isn’t a mindless beast but an incredibly intelligent person, capable of playing chess without a board. something that takes considerable practise and was for centuries considered a miracle in our world. there are issues with how solas approaches it, his understanding of the qun is flawed and imperfect, but he literally offers himself as a means of support when bull expresses fear that he’ll “go savage”:

Solas: You have the Inquisition, you have the Inquisitor… and you have me.

and after that i have a hard time imagining that they would never hang out more casually. solas would never be as close to bull as the chargers by any means, and you may not even consider them friends, but again their banter really reflects a significant relationship that would effect him without the inquisitor’s input. assuming they save the chargers, anyway. personally, i consider them friends

i just hit 2000 words and i’m starting to see why i let this sit in my drafts for like a year, so i’ll try to wrap it up. there are other characters i think have an effect on solas despite their relationship having its ups and downs. sera, namely, someone he seems to respect and resent simultaneously, grudgingly admitting he envies her at one point. their relationship is one of the most frustrating in the game but also my favourite due to how similar they are when you get down to it, sera i think on some level reminds him of when he was young, hence why he tries to give her advice. in another world, given time, i think they could’ve been friends, albeit friends who sometimes drive one another up the wall. much of what they say in-game reflects itself– solas talking about organisations degrading, in time, sera saying if you chop off the head of a government another will show up and muck up all the work you did to overthrow the first. they’re both artists, elves who feel disconnected from others of their kind. we don’t get enough of their positive interactions for me to claim they’re friends in-game w/ a straight face. rp wise, however, it’s been one of my favourite things to write, as they navigate a strange not-hostile relationship. also i just adore sera as a character, i wish there wasn’t such a divide between solas and sera fans b/c they both parallel and contrast w/ one another really well.

for one final note i do want to talk about specifically my solas interpretation, the relationships i either hc he’s built or he’s built through roleplay. my solas had a part to play in the rebuilding of skyhold alongside freed circle mages, teaching them practical magic they were denied learning in the circle and becoming something of a role model (god help them) for the more radical mages. solas served with the inquisition for a year in canon, three years in my canon. once he works past the haze of how wrong the veiled world feels i can’t believe solas, who constantly tells the histories of people– real people– whose stories he felt were important enough to remember and retell, even seemingly insignificant ones about baking bread or seeing sunlight for the first time, would connect with precisely none of the people around him on a personal level. not when we see his ability to do just that in-game, even with people without a mark on their hand.

tl;dr give solas friends. remember your inquisitor is not the be-all and end-all of his life and that he’s had 1000s of years to forge relationships with people who have just as much as an impact on him, and his time with the inquisition is no different. i don’t doubt all of us have hcs about how the companions have changed our inquisitor’s life, for better or worse, so i can’t see why it’d be any different for the companions. solas included

#( asks )#( headcanons )#( solas meta )#( long post )#[ this is technically from ages ago but since i've been doing meta... ]#he calls himself Pride ( about )#how we fought against the tide ( inquisition )#a pain you can't heal ( cole )#bring them peace with worlds between pages ( varric )#she declares this world real ( cassandra )#the healer has the bloodiest hands ( blackwall )#a man who made a choice ( iron bull )#speak ill of no man and all the good she knows of everybody ( josephine )#[ i didn't get to talk about viv or dorian or leliana (who he also never speaks to but regardless i have hcs)#but like last i looked i was going on 3000 so i had to stop myself ]

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lightsandlostbells · 5 years

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Druck season 2, episode 4 reaction

I want to thank turtleneck boy because I truly miss the fandom running wild with every detail and coming up with theories, I mean that sincerely. God bless you, sweater man.

Episode 4

Clip 1 - Motto selection

We have the graduating class looking at mottos. Amira and Leonie are leading the meeting. Leonie sure likes to lead school activities. We also have Mia, Hanna, Jonas, and Matteo in attendance. I really like seeing more school activities, especially since the hero party thing wrapped up last season, and this seems like a particularly German tradition from what I can tell, so it’s a cool thing to include.

Jonas is wearing a fedora today and like, he’s rocking it and twirling it around and stuff, but baby, you gotta be aware of the implications.

They’re picking out a motto, but as Leonie emphasizes with finger quotes, these are “the best” and Amira says none of them are great. “Photoshop-Philipp” put together some examples of the logos. His name is Markus. He’s the theater kid from the first season, with his hair tied back and I never would have recognized him if fandom hadn’t pointed him out.

That dude in the black turtleneck sent us all into conspiracy mode. Initially he was giving me German Even vibes, too. Was this their version of kosegruppa? He smiles when Matteo starts laughing at Photoshop Philipp, and his body language is angled toward Matteo, kinda, could that be a clue??? Why would they give us a random close-up of that guy when Jonas starts talking about CannABIs, when he doesn’t have a line at that moment or anything? Why was he tying his shoe for so long? Surely Druck is trying to tell us something!

Yet apparently it has been confirmed that he is not German Even, but is some random extra who’s been popping up in school scenes. That was a fun few days of speculation, though.

When the cannabis-themed logo pops up, Jonas says that there are some students in this school who are critical of the dangers of smoking weed, and he’s definitely directing that toward Hanna (he looks at her at the end, and Hanna looks over her shoulders and rolls her eyes). Nice bit of passive-aggressiveness there.

Another one is a parody of the alt-right Germany party (AFD) logo. Jonas likes that direction. Some random girl doesn’t like it and doesn’t want to give more attention to the party, but Amira and Mia think it’s funny. You know, kinda cool that these random students are getting a voice this season - like in the classroom debate, or the discussion here. It’s not just the main characters having all the dialogue in these scenes, it makes it feel a little more like an actual school, if that makes sense. (ETA: @randomfinny and @hyperfictional pointed out that she’s actually German Sara. Lol, I never would have recognized her, so thank you!)

I laughed at Jonas and Matteo being lazy in the back of the class. and them both putting their heads down. They’re in sync!

Suddenly there’s Axel walking in! Good thing Kiki isn’t part of this meeting. Did he join just to hang out with Mia?

I will say this, I am not complimentary toward Alex, but we’ve seen more of a personality from him thus far than with William, imo. He’s been shown to have some political opinions, and this shows a little bit of creativity/initiative on his part. He seems pretty pleased with his design/logo. He thinks it’s pretty gangster.

His logo is Abi Chaker Clan 2019, which is a reference to a family in Berlin with ties to organized crime? It doesn’t mean much to me as a non-German, but I’m going to take that it’s clever. Most of the group seems to like it. Jonas and Matteo approve. Markus doesn’t understand it. He’s like the only one other than Mia who’s not on board, lol. They take a vote, everyone puts their hands up except Mia. Hanna tells her that it’s better than others, so Mia reluctantly raises her hand. Even when she does so, she’s pointedly looking away from Alex.

As they leave, Jonas sticks his fedora on Matteo’s head. Be still my heart.

They’re going to have another meeting on Friday, Alex offers his place. Mia isn’t gonna be happy about that!

I will say this, this is what I wanted for Noorhelm remakes - give them something to work on that isn’t them dating, like a school project or whatever. Although now I’m like … they could have started with this stuff, the graduation committee, and not gotten into the whole renewed Kiki/Alex angle which makes this all messier and more complicated and harder to be on team Alex or team Winterberg. And I get that’s probably what they were going for, throwing more obstacles into the story so Mia still has doubts about being with Alex, but it also means I need that I need certain aspects addressed before I can fully get on board with this ship, and I’m afraid they won’t do that. Or I’m afraid that Mia’s flaws will be addressed but Alex’s will be excused.

That being said, I’m on team Amira with the decision to let Alex into the group. Sometimes you have to put personal feelings aside, and Alex’s involvement will benefit everyone else in the class by making the yearbooks cheaper. And tbh I don’t think it’s right to exclude someone from participating in a school group like this unless they’re actively disrupting the group itself, regardless of how much that person may have wronged me or my friends romantically.

When Mia starts to argue, Amira says that she knows the cost isn’t a big deal to Mia and some others, but other students came to her and said they couldn’t afford it. I wonder if Kiki was one of them… she probably wouldn’t tell that to Amira, though. Not in those words.

This isn’t Amira’s big secret, though, is it? Like Pawel isn’t some dude at the printing company, and she was just trying to keep it under wraps so Mia didn’t find out? I feel like her secret has to be bigger and more personal than that.

The question is, did Alex do this to get on Mia’s good side or to hang out with her? Or is he trying to engage and do something nice without expectations? Because I respect that second one more, obviously.

Amira is so lovely, I truly hope we get her season.

Clip 2 - Alex is hyped for Game of Thrones to return

Mia runs into Alex. She says they need to talk. He smirks and says, “Winter is coming,” and GOD FUCKING DAMMIT that made me laugh out loud. It’s so obvious but I laughed.

You know, Mia looks a tiny bit like Daenerys Targaryen.

There’s a shot of them walking down the path thing with the divider in the middle, oooo, ~symbolic. They meet at the end.

Mia tells him to stop grinning, and he says yes, sergeant Winter, and salutes. FUCK OFF that’s the second time I’ve laughed in this clip at this dude. I hate myself.

She chews him out for becoming a “committing patron” and he’s all “??? I wanted to help??” And I will give this to him, he did actually help out the group regardless of intentions, so maybe let that one slide, Mia, in the spirit of utilitarianism. Then she mentions NYE and the midnight voice message, which he does deserve to be chewed out for.

SOMEONE IS WATCHING THEM. It’s Sam??? Oh shit, she saw them talking! Hopefully she assumes Mia is just yelling at Alex. But she’s going to know Mia and Alex are in cahoots. Will she end up using this against Mia, or will she go to Mia and offer her support when Mia feels like she can’t tell anyone what’s happening?

Clip 3 - Ironing soothes the soul

Mia checks her phone and sees a bunch of messages from people praising Alex’s motto and hyping him up as the man. She gets off the bed, puts on a Chopin record and we are treated to a slow-montage scene of Mia ironing her clothes, including stuff like pajamas and socks, things that do not really need to be ironed if you asked me.

But I like the purpose of this scene! Mia feels out of control and frustrated and helpless with Alex’s inclusion in the group and everybody praising him and talking him up, and on top of it she doesn’t feel in control of her own feelings, so she has this ritual where she puts on music and makes her clothes neat and orderly. She uses order as a coping mechanism. Even the way this is shot makes it feel very precise and serene, the way she goes about this ritual so calmly, the way she smooths down her ironed items, the way the camera moves upward at the end, like all Mia’s anxieties are just floating away. You can just sink into this moment and realize how Mia clears her head.

Also that it’s classical music - something that also feels very orderly. And as we learn later in the episode, Mia can play piano including classical pieces so perhaps she has a strong history with it.

This was something indicated with Noora - for example, she was throwing out and getting rid of stuff once William had left her, and tidying up her room before she was supposed to meet with William prior to him going to London. She was thrown out of balance when Eskild ate her fish cakes. So I like that they’re going into it with Mia, and as others have mentioned it might be another sign of Mia’s ED. (Perfectionism is a common trait in people with eating disorders, and excessive tidiness/need for order is a sign of perfectionism).

Ironing complete, Mia searches for Alexander Hardenberg online. She considers following Alex on IG - too far, girl, he’s gonna take that as a marriage proposal.

Mia’s phone background includes Hans, awww.

She finds various links including one talking about his sister Sophie, who was two years older than he was. There are theories that Sophie will take over the Niko role, but I don’t buy that. For one, Alexander got very defensive over people talking about his “sister” in the classroom debate, and I don’t think he’d care if his sister was a creep. Second, it would be in EXTREMELY poor taste to have the biggest wlw rep on this show be a woman preying on and assaulting another woman, especially as a counter to Mia and Alex’s heterosexual relationship that’s probably going to be True Love. Just. The worst. I wrote this speculation post, but I think Sophie’s probably dead or something bad happened to her. Björn is some dude who was involved in what happened to her.

I don’t know what song this is as Mia is falling into the Alex Hardenberg rabbit hole, but it sounds like classical to me, and it’s like her coping mechanism/mental safe space is getting conflated with this guy.

Hans bursts into the room saying the Mia needs to look at his dick, because he thinks he has an STD, specifically tripper (gonorrhea) and he needs her to compare with some picture online. OK, I have to say, I have never ever heard that term for gonorrhea before. I’ve only heard it called the clap. Did Druck just teach me something? Yes, it did.

I have to praise Milena’s reactions here, they are restrained but suitably horrified.

Hans exposes his junk to Mia and she notes that yeah, it looks similar to the picture. He storms out and yells his fury to the heavens. When Mia asks if she should go to the pharmacy for him, he says he needs a chamomile tea first. LMAO. I feel like it was implied Mia would make the tea, right?

Clip 4 - Dingalings

Matteo’s just hanging with the girls as they talk about Hans’ clap, I guess. This child is not in a good state. He doesn’t seem very engaged in this conversation, but then again … would you want to hear about someone’s gonorrhea?

The girls are like HERE LOOK AT THESE GONORRHEA PICS and Matteo is just sitting there shooting them looks of WTF.

Sam calls it a “dingaling”. It’s nice to know she uses the same euphemism as my mom. She wants to know what a “gay penis” looks like, compared to a straight penis, I guess. Babe, you can go onto the Internet and find that out with a few clicks.

I laughed again at Matteo giving this side-eye to the girls while he looks at something on his phone. Or him nervously looking at them while they talk about what gay penis looks like.

Matteo picks up a banana as Sam asks about his dingaling. Druck going for that subtle symbolism, I see.

Sam asks Matteo how he measures dingalings, and he’s like, “...what?” There’s a nice moment where Hanna and Mia react and Mia tries to change the subject and divert attention from Matteo, in case this gets into uncomfortable territory for him. I liked that! Different from Eva and Noora having a fun time with Isak’s mysterious sexuality.

However, Sam really wants to know. Matteo mumbles that you do it with a ruler and Sam immediately gets out that ruler like she’s prepared to put this into practice. Not at the table, darling. Matteo isn’t even looking at them as he explains the rest.

Sam writes down “only when it’s hard” and underlines it, like she’s taking notes and this will be on the final exam for Dingalings 101.

Matteo sees Jonas walk in, and Matteo waves him over, probably thinking OH GOD SAVE ME, but Jonas just backtracks out of the room. NOOOOOO. I saw people think he was mad at Matteo, but I thought he was trying to avoid Hanna, which was confirmed in a text. If he and Matteo had a tiff, Matteo probably wouldn’t be waving him over so chill, unless he didn’t know Jonas was mad at him.

Matteo is not even looking at Hanna when she asks if Jonas has someone, just at his phone. What is he so engrossed with on his phone? Is it something specific or just generic sad teenage disengagement? Is it just him being one of The Youths?

Matteo waited until Sam left to tell Hanna that Jonas waits for her to post stuff on IG, IDK if there was a reason he waited. And there wasn’t any real reason Sam had to get up and leave during this scene, so is it at all important? Unless they just wanted the three sadsacks at the table together for the end of this clip, and Sam is not sufficiently angsty about her love life right now.

But Matteo tells Hanna that Jonas doesn’t have a new girl, he waits around for her to post new IG stories. Hanna is confused why, and Matteo is like, why does someone spend an entire evening stalking someone? Ohhh, damn. Mia is gonna feel that comment resonate uncomfortably.

Also, nice of Matteo to help out Hanna and Jonas’ relationship instead of snaking on her. As far as we know. (I think he’s being nice, not a snake this time.)

In case we didn’t get the connection, Axel texts Mia if she prefers wine or beer, for the yearbook meeting tomorrow, I guess. Checking in to see what she likes, her preferences.

We see Mia, Matteo, and Hanna at the table, all of them a little out of sorts. Mia thinking about Axel, Hanna thinking about Jonas, Matteo thinking about … something ... or someone … dude is very busy on his phone.

Clip 5 - After party at Axel’s

Mia brushes her teeth before going over to Alex’s - I guess that’s supposed to be her showing interest in him? A sign that she wants to be at her best? Or, you know, a sign that she practices good oral hygiene.

Hanna texts her and hopes she’s coming soon, because Hanna doesn’t want to be there alone because of Jonas. Damn, kids, you’re really tearing my heart out about this. Get back together already!

Axel texts Mia that she doesn’t need to bring a toothbrush because he has a new one ready for her. Well, that’s rather presumptuous. Mia seems a little amused, though.

She locks herself out of the apartment and texts Hans about it. Hans will be back at midnight to let Mia in. Also the tripper situation is still causing him pain and he stole money from his sick aunt to pay for medicine? Hans is so much more of a mess than Eskild was, like he’s going to have to evolve fast if he’s going to adopt Matteo.

This next part is beautiful, as we cut between Mia getting on the bus and traveling to Alex’s house, and shots of the characters looking into the camera as someone reads the comments about them. Isn’t this kinda like those character descriptions from pre-season? That promo stuff? So maybe it wasn’t just for promo, but an overall theme of the season, about the labels we stick on people or the shallow ways we perceive them.

Hanna - Gets bitch, red devil, arrogant. Who called Hanna a bitch?? Red devil?? Get the fuck out. Ex-BFF is from Leonie. Someone calls Hanna the “best decision of my life” and I think that was probably Jonas, please take that dagger out of my heart, oh my God.

Amira - Gets “hijab” like 8 times. So sad that this is all people know about her or think about her. They see the hijab and think that’s the sum total of who she is, rather than part of it. And it’s also othering, because the hijab stands out, it’s different from everyone else. I feel like Amira is used to it, too, like she probably expected that response. She also gets called ISIS. Man, fuck that edgy piece of shit person who wrote that. At least she gets some other comments like how she’s cool, like the people who actually know her and don’t stereotype her or judge her think she’s the best.

Matteo - Basically he’s a chill bro and fades into the background, although one person thinks he’s a good kisser. Hmmm, has he been going around smooching girls like Isak did?

Alex - gets almost all negative comments about how arrogant or jerkish he is, or his car compensating for his lack of dong size, except for some comments about how he’s hot. Look, if you want me to feel sorry about that, how people are just judging him unfairly, you’ve gotta show me more proof that he hasn’t been a major asshole throughout his high school career and this isn’t an accurate assessment of how he’s treated people or behaved this whole time, even if he’s supposed to be a nice guy underneath.

Mia - gets lots of comments on how hot she is, with some about her feminism or being boring. Habibi comes from Amira. Lesbian? Final one is “prettiest woman on earth” which probably was from Alex, honestly, and she seems kinda OK hearing him read that one out loud. (Although my kingdom for those “lesbian?” and “prettiest woman on earth” comments to have both come from like, Kiki.)

Matteo is once again lying on the couch on his phone, checked out. Someone send that kid an Even to bring him to life.

They talk about whether everyone should be able to cross out comments and that they don’t have time to chase everyone down, but I agree with Mia that everyone should be able to censor theirs, not just the committee. Alex agrees with Mia and gives a sensible option, that people have two weeks to contact the staff if they want to censor their comments. He says he doesn’t want to censor his comments because in twenty years he wants to remember what an arrogant ass he was, and everyone laughs, and you can take that as a sign of character growth that he wants to evolve past being an ass, or him thinking it was a fun time rather than something he regrets.

There’s turtleneck boy again. Who isn’t Even, but maybe could be German Julian Dahl.

Alex ordered pizza and beer, and the meeting gets more like a party. Hanna and Matteo throw pizza at each other and Hanna gives him the finger, cute! Alex arm wrestles Markus the theater photoshop kid. All throughout the evening, Mia seems attuned to Alex’s presence and keeps looking his way. I know that kind of feeling, I’ve been to parties where I was Mia and someone’s presence was like a magnet.

Hanna and Matteo talk in the kitchen about Jonas. Hanna asks where Jonas is, seeing as he’s not at the meeting, and Matteo says he doesn’t know, Jonas wanted to come. Which is a lie seeing as Jonas told Matteo he wasn’t going in a text message that we saw. At least Matteo is trying to spare Hanna’s feelings.

Mia is in Alex’s bathroom, looking at the stuff on the counter. I guess she’s just inspecting his stuff? She opens a jar and it’s overflowing with condoms, lol. I guess Alex got over his “latex allergy” at some point or learned his lesson about not wrapping it up. Maybe he had his own adventure with tripper. (I’m imagining him in his own version of the scene with Hans, wailing and opening his robe to a befuddled Toilet Sam.)

Hans texts her that now he won’t be home until 1. When Mia comes out of the bathroom, everyone else is leaving. Now Mia’s first option is that she could totally leave with her friends and chill with them, and if she’s locked out, she could crash at Hanna’s. But Amira has to study, Leonie has a date, and Hanna is going to the cinema with her dad. (What if Hanna was going to Jonas’ instead ... no, I won’t get entertain that happy delusion.) Anyway, Hanna suggests that Mia just kill time at Alex’s until she can go home.

Mia and Alex look at each other across the room. There is some nice nonverbal tension. The toilet flushes and Markus comes out of the bathroom. Now there are three of them, I like this shot of them in a triangle. Lol, Markus is so drunk he doesn’t know if he puked on himself. He doesn’t know how he broke up the Mia/Alex staring contest.

Alex and Mia look at each other and laugh after Markus leaves, which is a genuinely nice moment. Mia explains her situation and says she’ll go to the cinema or hang out in the park until then. Alex says she could stay and he’ll drive her home later. There’s a funny bit where Mia says he’s not allowed to drive, and Alex says he’ll call his chauffeur, and then does an imitation of Mia’s inner monologue - “Is he that rich? No … or maybe he is?” I do like that they’ve given Alex so much more of a sense of humor.

Lmao, Alex jumping on the random skateboard and gliding across the floor, I have to say if I lived in a big empty place like that, I’d be doing shit like that a lot. Speaking of, that is one big, spacious apartment, like there’s some art on the walls and stuff but it still gives off that cold lonely rich kid vibe.

I like Mia walking around examining the place as he makes her rosehip tea. Alex mentions that his sister used to live here - again, we don’t get more details than that, like whether she moved or died, what happened to her. It seems like he might have cut off that line of inquiry when he asks Mia if she wants honey in her tea - either a coincidence or a deliberate attempt to change the subject.

However, that does throw into context Björn’s appearance in the next clip, because Björn was showing up to the sister’s old apartment. Why was he messing around in there? I think that dude might be the sister’s boyfriend or ex.

There’s a piano. In that same room are a lot of moving boxes; either because Alex was moving in, or because the sister was moving out. Or maybe they were packing up Sophie’s things because she died?

Mia asks him whether he plays or whether it’s there to impress girls. Alex says no, so I’m betting it was the sister’s piano. He also asked whether they should go sit in the other room to drink the tea, I think that he didn’t want to answer questions about the piano or be near it, like it probably reminds him of whatever happened to the sister.

Gold star to Mia for not playing without payment and for not negotiating. I love her.

Was that the theme music from Titanic she was playing and acting like she was really into?? Lmao.

Finally, she plays something legit, “Montagues and Capulets” (or “Dance of the Knights”) from the ballet Romeo and Juliet by Prokofiev. HMMM could there be any connection to star-crossed lovers with this subject matter? Hey, it’s subtler than a banana.

At first I was wondering why her playing seemed out of sync and was like ... did they get a body double to play for her or something? Because I think Milena can really play. But then we see that it’s intentionally out of sync, as we see them eating and talking over the music. Perhaps to symbolize things being out of sorts; earlier this clip we had Mia using classical music as a way to restore order in her life, and here that order is rapidly dissolving, so the music isn’t really soothing, and the images aren’t neatly in line with it.

When Alex asks what song that was, Mia says it’s Drake. L M A O I adore her.

Hans texts Mia that he’s not coming home tonight as he’s met some other dude with gonorrhea and they’re going to hook up. Er, have fun with that, Mr. Currently Peeing Shards of Glass. Anyway, he asks if she can stay at Hanna’s. Alex says Mia can just stay there, she can take the bed and he’ll take the sleeping mat. Mia asks why doesn’t he just sleep on the couch and he says the fridge is too loud. We are treated to the sounds of the thunderous fridge. Actually, it is pretty loud for a fridge, if you’re sensitive to that kind of thing I can see it being a problem.

He says she can rent his bed for the night, like in a hotel. Which is what seems to convince her, him framing it not like a benevolent gesture but a transaction. So Alexander sets up the bed for Mia. He gives the new toothbrush that he had mentioned, and she pays him back what he gave her.

Mia climbs into bed and smells the fresh linen. She checks her phone and Hans says that Emilio finished fast so he’s coming home, and Hanna says Mia can come over. But Mia pulls an Isak, telling Hanna that Hans is home and Hans that she’s with Hanna. Wow, there is no chance of that backfiring, not with these two people who appear to be on friendly terms.

They don’t share a bed as Noorhelm did; true to his word, Alex sleeps on the floor, and she gets the bed. I think that’s indicative of where they’re at with each other right now; they still have distance between them, but they’ve developed a state of comfort and can let down their guard to a degree.

They wish each other good night, and she calls him Axel. That makes him smile. And then he asks that that wasn’t really Drake, was it? Which makes her smile. Let him go to his grave thinking it was Drake, Mia.

Social Media/General Comments

I’ll say this, Chris Veres is doing well as Alex, performance-wise. Previously he was my least favorite William, and I thought he was very flat in S1, which I guess was intentional, since I heard he tried to play Alex as very cold and unfeeling. Now we’ve seen him showing more personality and especially glimpses of humor and levity. So regardless on my thoughts of the character overall, I think the actor is doing a fine job.

A lot of people seem to have hopped on board with Alex after this episode, even people who hated William, and I think that largely has to do with the performance. I’m not sure I would say I’m completely on board with Alex as a character - he still has a lot of stuff to account for, and there are things that I really need Druck to redeem about him in order for me to like him. I especially need apologies - or at least some sense of regret and humility over his specific mistakes, rather than him trying to defend himself and Mia falling for it. But I get why fandom is starting to like him, he’s showing more charisma here. There are things I certainly like about him compared to William, for instance that he seems to have more interests and opinions on things that don’t have to do with his love interest. He had some genuinely funny lines in this episode.

Also, I’ve said it before, but I wasn’t sold on Mia entirely in S1, but Milena Tscharntke is really winning me over this season. Mia feels like her own character, certainly one with traits in common as Noora, but also not a Noora clone.

Kiki was totally absent this episode, and I wonder if that was to lull us into forgetting the Kiki/Alex drama so we, like Mia, could start to fall for him. In putting Kiki aside for an episode, it’s kind of like we don’t have this reminder of what Alex and Mia have done to her, something that I’m sure will come crashing back and causing conflict in the next episode. It also makes you wonder what Kiki has been doing since we last saw her. How is she coping? Breaking more hearts?

The music needs to be used more sparingly. This episode had some good selections but basically it’s falling into a pattern that’s plagued some of the remakes, where the music always gets used the same way: a song at the start of the clip, a song at the end of it, so that it starts to lessen the impact of the music because we can predict when it will appear. I think it happens in some remakes, like Skam France or Druck, because they run some previews/production credits at the end, and they want music to go over it instead of silence. But last season I think they did have some clips that ended with silence over the credits, or things like Hanna sighing, or random banter, and that didn’t bother me, that helped to retain the atmosphere of the clip.

There’s a theory that S3 and/or S4 have been running in the background of this season, and while I can see evidence for that, I really hope it’s not the case. Especially after this last clip - I thought it was great, the pacing worked and there were some inspired directing choices, so imagine what we could get with Matteo or Amira’s seasons with that kind of style. It would work so well with one of the long Evak or Yousana clips, something like Mekke øl or The Best of Islam.

Mia is like, “Won’t we get in copyright trouble for this?” as a feeble attempt in the committee chat not to pick Alex’s motto, lol. Give her credit for fighting a losing battle to the end.

Hans had like three text messages about his clap. First he accuses a dude of infecting him with the clap, while the dude is like, nah, just went to the doctor yesterday, I’m good, and Hans is like … oops … embarrassing. Then he goes after the next dude he banged, who reciprocates his electronic shouting match. Finally messages Michi, who’s like, thank God, I thought you were breaking up with me again. Dude. Hans. I know you find Michi a bore, I guess, but some dude whose reaction to hearing he has the clap is “at least you didn’t break up with me” to the dude who gave it to him, is someone you might wanna hang on to. And not in a boomerang way, in a “this is a keeper” way.

Matteo and Jonas text and apparently Jonas planned to skip the yearbook meeting/party because of Hanna. So that’s probably why he ran away in the dingaling clip, because he saw Hanna there. I’m wondering if they’re going to get back together this season or if they’ll string us along for a few more.

According to Matteo’s IG stories, that was the first time Photoshop Philipp/Markus got drunk, and Matteo made sure to document the highs, followed by the inevitable lows.

I’m not German, so feel free to correct me if I missed anything.

If you got this far, thank you for reading!

#druck reactions #druck

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spacetimewithstuartgary · 5 years

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Earth's continental nurseries discovered beneath mountains In his free time last summer, Rice University geoscientist Ming Tang made a habit of comparing the niobium content in various rocks in a global minerals database. What he found was worth skipping a few nights out with friends. In a paper published this month by Nature Communications, Tang, Rice petrologist Cin-Ty Lee and colleagues offered an answer to one of Earth science's fundamental questions: Where do continents form? "If our conclusions are correct, every piece of land that we are now sitting on got its start someplace like the Andes or Tibet, with very mountainous surfaces," said Tang, lead author of the study and a postdoctoral research associate in Rice's Department of Earth, Environmental and Planetary Sciences (EEPS). "Today, most places are flat because that is the stable stage of the continental crust. But what we found was that when the crust formed, it had to start out with mountain-building processes." The connection between niobium, one of Earth's rarest elements, and continent formation is a story that plays out over billions of years at scales as small as molecules and as large as mountain ranges. The leading players are niobium and tantalum, rare metals so alike that geologists often think of them as twins. "They have very similar chemical properties and behave almost identically in most geological processes," Tang said. "If you measure tantalum and niobium, you find that their ratio is nearly constant in Earth's mantle. That means that when you find more niobium in a rock, you will find more tantalum, and when you find less niobium, you will find less tantalum." The mantle is Earth's thickest layer, spanning about 1,800 miles between the planet's core and its thin outer crust. Earth scientists believe that little, if anything, moves between the mantle and core, but the mantle and everything above it -- seafloor, oceans, continents and atmosphere -- are connected, and many of the atoms on Earth's surface today, including the atoms in humans and other living things, have cycled through the mantle one or more times in Earth's 4.6 billion years. The rocks in continents are an exception. Geologists have found some that are up to 4 billion years old, which means they were formed near the surface and stayed on the surface, without being recycled into the mantle. That's due in part to the nature of continental crust, which is far less dense than the basaltic rocks beneath Earth's oceans. Lee, professor and EEPS department chair, said it's no coincidence that Earth is the only rocky planet known to have both continents and life. "Every day we live on continents, and we take most of our resources from continents," Lee said. "We have oxygen in the air to breath and just the right temperature to support complex life. These things are so common that we take them for granted, but Earth didn't start off with these conditions. They developed later in Earth's history. And the emergence of continents is one of the things that shaped our planet and made it more livable." Scientists still lack details about how continents got their start and how they grew to cover 30 percent of Earth's surface, but one big clue relates to niobium and tantalum, the geochemical twins. "On average, the rocks in continental crust have about 20 percent less niobium than they should compared to the rock we see everywhere else," Tang said. "We believe this missing niobium is tied to the mystery of continents. By solving or finding the missing the niobium, we can get important information about how continents form." Geologists have known about the imbalance for decades. And it certainly suggests that the geochemical processes that produce continental crust also remove niobium. But where was the missing niobium? That nagging question prompted Tang to spend his free time perusing records in the Max Planck Institute's GEOROC database, a comprehensive global collection of published analyses of volcanic rocks. Based on those searches and months of follow-up tests, Tang, Lee and colleagues offer the first physical evidence that "arclogites" (pronounced ARC-loh-jyts) are responsible for the missing niobium. Arclogites are cumulates, the leftover dross that accumulates near the base of continental arcs. On rare occasions, chunks of these cumulates erupt onto the surface from volcanos. The Rice group first sent arclogite samples that Lee had collected in Arizona to their collaborator, Kang Chen, a research fellow based at the China University of Geosciences in Wuhan. Chen spent a month getting precise readings of the relative amounts of niobium and tantalum in the samples. The rocks were created when the High Sierras were an active continental arc, like the Andes today. Chen's tests confirmed high niobium-tantalum ratios, but to better understand the mechanism by which this signature was developed, Tang and Lee used high precision laser ablation and "inductively coupled plasma mass spectrometry" in Lee's laboratory at Rice to reveal the mineral rutile was responsible. "Rutile is the mineral that hosts the niobium," he said. "It's a naturally occurring form of titanium oxide, and it is what actually 'sees' the difference between niobium and tantalum and captures one more than the other." But that happens only under specific conditions. For example, Tang said that at temperatures above 1,000 degrees Celsius, rutile traps normal ratios of tantalum and niobium. It only begins to prefer niobium when temperatures drop below 1,000 degrees Celsius. Tang said the only known place with that set of conditions is deep beneath continental arcs, like the Andes today or the High Sierras about 80 million years ago. "The reason you need high pressure is that titanium oxide is relatively rare," he said. "You need very high pressure to force it to crystalize and fall out of the magma." In an earlier arclogite study published in Science Advances last May, Tang and Lee discovered a subtle chemical signature that can explain why continental crust is iron-depleted. Lee said that finding and the discovery about rutile and niobium illustrate the central importance of continental arcs in Earth history. "Continental arcs are like a magic system that links everything together, from climate and oxygen concentrations in the atmosphere to ore deposits," Lee said. "They're a sink for carbon dioxide after they die. They can drive greenhouse or icehouse, and they are the building blocks of continents." TOP IMAGE....Once home to the powerful Inca Empire, the spectacular vistas and canyons of the South American Andes are now a favorite to mountain bikers, climbers and other tourists looking for an adventure. This true color image of the Central Andes and surrounding landscape was acquired by the Moderate-resolution Imaging Spectroradiometer (MODIS), flying aboard NASA’s Terra spacecraft. The dark green area to the right of the brown mountains are the Gran Chaco planes, which consist mostly of alluvial fans and wetlands. To the west is the Pacific Ocean. In the upper half of this image, the Andes are formed by two distinct mountain ranges that appear as darker reddish-brown bands running northwest to southeast. Between the two ranges, shown in a lighter brown, sits the Altiplano plateau, which spans southern Peru and northern Bolivia. The plateau sits at 3660 meters (12,000 feet) and is covered in mazelike canyons, marshlands and lakes. The largest of the lakes—Lake Titticaca—can be seen as the dark blue patch in southern Peru. The two mountain ranges supporting the plateau eventually come together along the border of Argentina and Chile to form one continuous range. The Andes have been forming over the past 170 million years as the Nazca Plate lying under the Pacific Ocean has forced its way under the South American Plate and pushed up its western edge. The subduction of one plate under the other has given rise to a number of volcanoes that dot the western edge of the mountain range. Earthquakes are also very common in this region. Image by NASA GSFC, based on data from the MODIS science team. LOWER IMAGE....A schematic illustration of plate subduction beneath a continental arc. (Image courtesy of Booyabazooka/Wikimedia Commons)

#space #science #Astronomy #physics #geology

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burnouts3s3 · 5 years

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Anthem, a review

(Disclaimer: The following is a non-profit unprofessional blog post written by an unprofessional blog poster. All purported facts and statement are little more than the subjective, biased opinion of said blog poster. In other words, don’t take anything I say too seriously.) Just the facts 'Cause you're in a Hurry! Publisher: Electronic Arts Developer: Bioware Platform Required: Origin Manufacturer’s Suggested Retail Price (MSRP): 59.99 USD How much I paid: 14.99 USD for Origin Premiere Access, a subscription service for Electronic Arts Rated: Not Rated as of the writing of this review. Can I play offline: No. Anthem requires a constant online connection to play. Controller Support: Yes. It was compatible with my Rock-Candy Xbox 360 controller. Keyboard and Mouse controls are also available. How long I played: 16 Hours to complete the main story mode on Easy mode while watching the (skippable) cutscenes. Microtransactions: An in-game Store to purchase skins, individual paint jobs or emotes for various Javelins, suits in the game. Purchases can cost up to 20 USD. What I played on: My PC. Performance Issues: I would use many words to describe Anthem, but "optimized" is not one of them. With V-Sync turned on, the Framerate dips wildly between 30-60 FPS. Several instances of clipping and pop-in textures. 3 Game crashes requiring me to restart the game. One instance of the game not loading the forge yet and me walking into the bottom pit while the forge spawed up ahead and I got stuck so I had to reset the game. But hey, the facial animations are pretty passable this time around. My Personal Biases: I am a Biodrone/Bioware apologist. I’ve played every Bioware game since Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic. However, I’ve been having doubts on the company since the buggy release of Mass Effect: Andromeda. My Verdict: Less like a complete game and more like a prologue to hook early adopters in, Anthem feels like the first time in a long time that doesn't have Bioware's roleplaying there. With no romance options, very few conversations with side characters with limited choices and a ho-hum story, Anthem feels sorely lacking in several areas. Wait until Bioware puts in more content and a price cut before picking this one up. Anthem, a review

And so it's finally here. After years of Development, Bioware finally releases its new IP: Anthem. After the critical and financial flop that was Mass Effect: Andromeda from even hardcore Bioware fans, will the developer be able to get back into the good graces of their fanbase? Let's find out. This is a review of "Anthem". You are a Freelancer. Riding around in your mechanical jet suit, a Javelin, you adventure outside the world collecting artifacts of, what else, the remains of an ancient and mysterious race of creators that shaped the world through the Anthem. Alongside your friends, a veteran Javelin pilot Haluk and a Cypher (psychics who can listen and understand the Anthem), Faye, you adventure into the Heart of Rage, a dangerous location where even the most hardened of veterans fall. But when the expedition goes horribly wrong and most of the other Freelancers have been killed, you pull Haluk out of the Heart of Rage and retreat to Fort Tarsis. While I can safely say that Anthem isn't nearly the disaster Mass Effect: Andromeda was, it leaves a lot to be desired. It's less of a full game than it is a prologue to something else. Then again, in the age of the ongoing dumpster fire that is Fallout 76, I suppose a less than optimized game isn't nearly as terrible as a continuing PR disaster. Two years pass and you are finding any sort of work given to you. People have begun to lose faith in Freelancers and you and your new friend, Owen, try to make ends meet. However, Tassyn, an informant from the Capital, comes with you with a job offer. However, as you continue your adventure, you meet up with the enemy faction, the Dominion (those who believe they can control the Anthem and reshape the world) as well as its bloodthirsty leader, Monitor. In order to defeat the Monitor, you'll have to reunite with your estranged friends, Haluk and Faye, improve your Javelin, pass trials and re-enter the Heart of Rage. Can you finish the mission you ran away from two years ago? Anthem is a third-person shooter in which you complete quests to earn gear. As you level up and do more difficult missions, you'll receive better gear. This is where Anthem shines: the level of customizing your Javeline is immense and there's a lot of room for originality. There are 4 classes of Javelins: the Ranger, an all-around, versatile mech, the Interceptor, a light mech focusing on Melee attacks, the Storm, a mage type class that can fire elemental attacks and the Colossus, the tank class capable of soaking up damage. While each of the 4 Javelins can equip any weapon, specific Javelins are limited to certain parts. You'll gather and accumliate parts and salvage the parts to get components. You can use components to craft new parts ranging from Common to Uncommon to Rare to Legendary. If you earn a blueprint, you can craft some Legendary gear. Earning items can be done by playing story missions, doing side-quests, participating in Strongholds (this game's version of Dungeons) or going into Freeplay, an open world element in which you fly around the vast world and look for 'World Events' random missions that have specific objectives and reward a treasure chest full of loot. Flying around in the mech is a highlight. Being able to soar through the air and water while watching for overheating is probably the best we'll get to an Iron Man experience. Combat and mission objectives aren't quite as compelling. It's mostly doing the same thing over and over again: defeat waves of enemies, collect echos or fragments, wait until the Signal is decrypted, etc. And while the Javelins have different playstyles, abilities and Ultimate attacks, it does little to change defeating wave after wave of enemies for the umpteeth time. While Customizing your Javelin is vast, customizing your player avatar is sorely lacking. There's no character creator as the game only gives you preset faces to pick from. Worst yet, the majority of the game while in Fort Tarsis is set in first-person, meaning you'll almost never see your character for the majority of the game. The lack of roleplaying bleeds out into Fort Tarsis. Frankly, compared to the vast world to explore in Anthem, Fort Tarsis is claustrophobic. It makes Dragon Age 2's Kirkwall seem big by comparison. There's very little to explore and not helping matters is the snail's pace you're forced to walk while traveling around it. For Tarsis is filled up with NPC's in which you can have conversations. To advance certain conversations, you'll either have to do missions or enter freeplay. Unfortunately, your dialogue options are VERY limited. The infamous Bioware Dialogue Wheel is nowhere to be found and you'll be left with two choices to respond. Not helping matters is that most of these conversations go nowhere and do very little to define your character. (Though there are some exceptions. For example, I liked listening to Zoe talk about her son and why her motherly instincts lead her to take extra care of Javelins or helping an old woman who confuses you for her dead child). While the results may differ depending on what choices you choose, all the major stuff is being done off-screen. It's one thing to have a veteran Javelin pilot reminisce about the old days but when other characters are having adventures and bringing you up to speed on taking your advice, you can't help but feel a disconnect. The main story doesn't really help either. You don't even get to pick dialogue choices at all and you watch as your Player Character does all the acting. It truly feels like the first time the game is on-rails and you're not voicing any input at all on how to react. Worst yet, certain points in the main questline FORCES you to do tedious grinding to advance. When Faye asks you to do trials, they can only be accomplished by doing in-game achievements (i.e. Kill X enemies with a Melee Attack or Revive X players). It feels needlessly tedious and only bogs the game down. This is (and I'm speculating here) only there to extend the playtime so that gamers who payed for the 10 hour trial do not blitz through the main storyline.

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After that, you need to craft the Dawn Sheild and must help either Matthias, an Archanist who might be seeing triple or Sentinel Dax, a princess turned guard who's recklessness might get you killed, in order to do so. Worst yet, even after helping one of them, the game insists you help the other one to lower the crafting cost of the shield. The main questline is short and full of cliches. Not helping matters is that the Monitor is a completely generic big bad with no real personality and idiotic reasons for wanting to access the Anthem. I know Bioware is hardly the arbiter of original characters, but the Monitor is woefully lacking after the specific threats that were Mass Effect's Saren and Dragon Age's Loghain. And after it's done, the game 'teases' you with an after-credits scene that only exists so that Bioware can state "Don't worry; we have more content coming soon". Even after you complete the story and unlock the two other Strongholds, there's a woeful lack of content. You can repeat missions and do quests on higher difficulty levels to gain better gear, but it quickly becomes repetitive. Who is the audience for this game? In a world where Warframe is free to play, Borderlands 2 has a healthy player population and Destiny 2 has had its price cut, Anthem feels like a latecomer to the genre. But, even loyal Bioware fans (i.e. the people who bought Mass Effect: Andromeda on the first day and still defend said purchase), aren’t feeling this game. In fact, one of the Youtube creators I follow quit the game after he received a bug in which after unlocking his second Javelin, he was unable to access the account.

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Why would Bioware change its formula now? And it's not as if Anthem is a priority for Electronic Arts, either. With Apex Legends continuing to dominate Twitch ratings and Playerbase, Anthem will probably be pushed to the sidelines. The game requires constant online connection and has an in-game store. Fortunately, said microtransactions are purely cosmetic and do not feature loot boxes plaguing the industry. And while it isn't as rediculous and allows you, the player, to buy the items with in-game currency, it's still a bad precedent. But I could even forgive the game as a service model as long as I got to roleplay. For example, (and I’m aware this is a very subjective opinion that is not shared by other people), I really like Star Wars: The Old Republic. Even though many gamers criticized the game of being a World of Warcraft rip-off (and rightly so, I might add), there was a sense of roleplaying and seeing my character on screen. Plus, it was cool seeing how different the class stories differed from one another. I could tell you how my Twi'lek smuggler who romanced Akaavi differed from my Pureblood Sith Inquistor who romanced Ashara. If you asked me what differentiated my Male Javelin Pilot from my Female one, I couldn't possibly tell you. (I suspect that the game will inevitably follow the footsteps of Star Wars: The Old Republic, go free to play when the playerbase dwindles while walling off things such as Strongholds for subscribers). And it's very telling how developers and animators were pulled from Mass Effect: Andromeda to help work on Anthem. CAVEAT: As a developer, Bioware has always put things like inclusion and diversity first and foremost, even at the cost of things such as quality assurance or facial animations. "Strong Alone, Stronger Together," says Haluk. And for a lot of consumers, myself included, they feel conflicted on criticizing something they view as a positive force for the games industry. But whatever the consumer is, whomever they love, whatever the color of their skin or what they identify themselves as, Electronic Arts is pulling out scummy tactics to milk them out of their money. There’s still an ongoing debate of where things like representation, inclusion, exclusion, diversity and egalitarianism have in the industry. But wherever you find yourself on the culture war, the one thing we can agree on is that the last thing required are for giant publishers co-opting those social issues in order to scam its customers out of their money. Verdict: Wait for a sale or Rental.

#bioware #ea #Electronic Arts #origin #freelancer #haluk #faye #owen #tassyn #dominion #sentinel #dax #matthias #colossus #interceptor #storm #ranger

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thefriendsofwinter · 7 years

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1936, Shanghai - Letters to Watanabe-san: The Pilot, Part 1

Watanabe-san,

I still do not know whether I will ever have the courage to send these letters, even if I find a way to get them past the censors. If I do, I think you’d be pleased to know that today, I did something good for once. Something that would begin to honor your son’s memory.

The plane went down over the fields just southwest of our base. My metaphoric heart sank (although I suppose the heart is always metaphoric in this case, isn’t it?) as my optics tracked the trail of smoke straight down into the rows of cabbage and wheat. I’d tried to warn him. But maybe he hadn’t had a choice about whether to go up, despite knowing the dangers. Just as I didn’t have a choice.

But I had a choice then. I could fly my plane back into formation, return to base, and listen to the pilot who’d made the shot gloat about finally taking down that “damn bird-man.”

Or I could make a choice to go down a different route than the one I’d been down countless times before. The one that I knew all too well where it led. I could make a choice to do something because I decided to do it — not them.

I closed metal lids over my eyes and my plane dove downward. There were crackles and murmurs of surprise over my communications systems — the other pilots couldn’t tell if I’d dived intentionally, or if there’d been some sudden malfunction. I blinked and the system went offline. I’d let them speculate rather than give them a solid answer. I guided the plane down a few feet away from where the New Zealander’s plane had crashed, pulling the flight control interface cable from my head as soon as the plane had safely touched the ground. My frame was not built for taking small, careful steps, but I tried my hardest not to crush even more of the wheat as I made my way over to the other plane. If I had lungs, I would have breathed a sigh of relief when I found it. The engine was smoking, and there was a large scorch mark on one wing, but nothing appeared to have exploded when the plane crashed. At least, not yet.

I was glad to have the superhuman strength that so often made tasks like writing or opening doors so difficult when I realized the door to the cockpit was jammed shut. The metal had folded inward when the plane hit the ground, warping it off of its frame. The average human couldn’t have even begun to move it, but in my hands it came off as easily as the petal from a lily. Throwing the door aside into the slightly charred stalks around us, I leaned forward to check the status of the pilot — Kiwi, Mei Hua had called him. He was slumped forward over the steering, although his flight helmet made it hard to discern the extent of his injuries. Knowing there was no medical help to be had, and that the plane could still explode in a matter of seconds, I decided to take the risk and pull him from the plane.

Humans were so fragile, I found myself thinking as I dragged Kiwi a safe distance from where flames began to lick the sides of the plane. In the segmented metal of my hands, he felt like the bird emblazoned on the arm of his jacket. I set him down in the field, then with as gentle a motion as I could possibly manage, wriggled the helmet off of his head. His bright copper hair was plastered to his forehead, and there was a stream of blood from his nose. It didn’t seem serious, however, as it had already begun to dry and clot where it had pooled above his lip and at the corner of his mouth. Aside from small abrasions on his forehead and on his cheekbone, there didn’t appear to be any other injuries. My hands shook as I stared down at his limp form, shoulders supported by my forearm. I’d never felt more giant and out of place than I did right then.

Just then, Kiwi’s eyes fluttered open, and he startled when he looked up and saw my metal and wood face. I tightened my grip as he jerked away, holding him in place so he wouldn’t hurt himself in his panic.

“Please don’t be alarmed,” I said in English, in what I could only hope was a soothing tone. My vocal box only allows for so much subtlety in my voice. Kiwi stared, wide eyed, hand braced against my chest-plate in an effort to push me away.

“The fuck?” was all he managed to mumble, eyes still having trouble focusing and words slurred. I gently let go of him, letting him rest on the ground when I could be sure he wasn’t going to panic any further.

“I’m unit number 309587, but they call me the Iron Stag,” I offered.

“You’re that robot who pilots planes with his bloody mind,” sputtered Kiwi, trying to sit up on his elbows and not quite managing it. I inclined my head.

“Yes. I have met you before in the skies — you fought valiantly. That is part of why I tried to warn you before this battle. Did your friend not pass along my warning?”

Kiwi groaned, rubbing his forehead. “She did, mate, but have you seen what the military’s been doing? I couldn’t just sit it out ‘cause it was dangerous. There’s people’s lives depending on me, y’know?”

“It was a matter of honor,” I clarified. “You are a noble man, Mr. Kiwi.”

“It’s just Kiwi,” he grumbled. “You can’t put ‘Mister’ in front of a nickname — that’s weird.”

“As you wish,” I said. “If you can stand, we should vacate the area. They might send a search party to make certain you did not survive the crash.”

I stood back to let Kiwi try to get to his feet. He managed to stand, but his leg wobbled the moment he stood and I dove in to catch him under the arms before he hit the ground. Grudgingly, he let me help support his weight, and we slowly made our way out of the wheat field in the direction of a nearby village. Two weeks ago, my base had received intelligence that suggested an innkeeper in the village was providing lodging and medical assistance to Chinese rebels. Before the military had moved on this information, however, more pressing matters had come up and so for now the innkeeper was (as far as I knew) perfectly secure and unharmed. I hoped that even if she turned me away — I’d have understood, being a clearly identifiable Japanese automaton — that Kiwi’s sorry state would be enough to convince her to at least give him safe lodging.

We were halfway there, stumbling awkwardly on three legs along a worn dirt road when Kiwi suddenly spoke.

“Why?”

I shifted his weight on my arm so that I could turn and look at him. “I’m afraid you’ll need to be a little more specific than that.”

“Why’d you rescue me? You could’ve just left me in that crash — I’m sure that’s what they told you to do. If they made you, how can you even disobey orders?” Kiwi looked particularly baffled as he asked that last question, it suddenly dawning on him all over again what exactly I was.

If had lungs, I would have sighed. “It is true that they made almost all of me. However, they needed one bit of organic matter to control this frame of metal that they’d constructed. So they grabbed a brain and spinal cord from some unfortunate cadaver somewhere and used it to process the inputs from all the rest of this mechanical body. For the most part, it worked brilliantly for them. I can think and move, and respond just like a human. But the side effect of using a human brain is that I’m still … susceptible to human-like disobedience.”

Kiwi’s eyes were wide as I guided him over a small footbridge that crossed a stream. “So … are all the Metal Samurai like you, then? Can they all think for themselves?”

I shook my head. “No, see — I was the prototype. The others are close to if not the same as machines. I have never seen evidence that they think … or feel for themselves. I believe that as the military made more of us, they got better at suppressing all brain impulses that were not strictly useful. I think … I think I am the only one who is capable of disobeying orders.”

“Wow.” Kiwi let out a whistle. “That’s some top level mad science they got going on there. But even that doesn’t explain why you came to drag me out. After all, there’s plenty of humans who can think on their own who wouldn’t have broke rank either.”

We were near the edge of the village now, so I paused to answer Kiwi before we went further. “It’s hard to explain. I saw you in your plane in the last aerial battle and I … I was impressed. With such a small plane — and as advanced as it is, it’s significantly less advanced than ours — you still managed to beat our forces. I didn’t want your end to be burning to death in a wheat field, trapped in your plane.”

Kiwi didn’t look convinced of the truthfulness of my answer. “Really, mate? You saved my life because I impressed you with my flying?”

“As I said, it’s hard to explain. Maybe —” I paused, staring up at the sky where a flock of sparrows sped overhead. “Maybe I’m just weary of all the death. All the killing. Maybe, just for once I needed to see someone live, instead of watching so many die.”

I felt rather than saw Kiwi’s nod of agreement, and the long exhale he let out. “I sure understand that feeling.”

#dieselpunk #alternate history #shanghai #robot #short fiction

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golbatgender · 7 years

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@failure-artist replied to your post “You know the “Chinese room” linguistics experiment? I think anti...”

What is the Chinese room?

http://www.iep.utm.edu/chineser/

Against "strong AI," Searle (1980a) asks you to imagine yourself a monolingual English speaker "locked in a room, and given a large batch of Chinese writing" plus "a second batch of Chinese script" and "a set of rules" in English "for correlating the second batch with the first batch." The rules "correlate one set of formal symbols with another set of formal symbols"; "formal" (or "syntactic") meaning you "can identify the symbols entirely by their shapes." A third batch of Chinese symbols and more instructions in English enable you "to correlate elements of this third batch with elements of the first two batches" and instruct you, thereby, "to give back certain sorts of Chinese symbols with certain sorts of shapes in response." Those giving you the symbols "call the first batch 'a script' [a data structure with natural language processing applications], "they call the second batch 'a story', and they call the third batch 'questions'; the symbols you give back "they call ... 'answers to the questions'"; "the set of rules in English...they call 'the program'": you yourself know none of this. Nevertheless, you "get so good at following the instructions" that "from the point of view of someone outside the room" your responses are "absolutely indistinguishable from those of Chinese speakers." Just by looking at your answers, nobody can tell you "don't speak a word of Chinese." Producing answers "by manipulating uninterpreted formal symbols," it seems "[a]s far as the Chinese is concerned," you "simply behave like a computer"; specifically, like a computer running Schank and Abelson's (1977) "Script Applier Mechanism" story understanding program (SAM), which Searle's takes for his example.

But in imagining himself to be the person in the room, Searle thinks it's "quite obvious...I do not understand a word of the Chinese stories. I have inputs and outputs that are indistinguishable from those of the native Chinese speaker, and I can have any formal program you like, but I still understand nothing."

So essentially, REGs follow authorities who dictate what they are supposed to believe and what they are supposed to hate. They are given symbols--discourse buzzwords--and are told to produce outputs such as “good,” “bad,” and “pee your pants” in response to certain sets of buzzwords. However, most REGs don’t actually know what most of the buzzwords mean, only how to recognize them and choose the “correct” output. If you force them beyond the limitations of the input-output script, they lose the artificial coherence of the Chinese Room and start outputting word salad. A good example of an anti doing this is this post. They seem to just look for keywords, disregard the actual content of what the other person is saying, and then spit out a pre-prepared, insulting response based on just those keywords.

I mean, given the homogeneity of that school of “thought,” it’s not really surprise. Do you need to know what “pedophilia” or “ddlg” mean if the only thing you are allowed to express without facing persecution from your “friend” group is some syntactic variant of “Ddlg is pedophilia and fetishizing childhood!” or “If you ship ___ you’re supporting pedophilia!”? Do you need to know what “fetishization” is or whether straight women are actually doing it or writing the majority of m/m slash if you aren’t socially allowed to have any opinion on the subject other than “Fujoshis are homophobic and fetishizing mlm by writing fetishy fic about them for female consumption”? Do you need to know what cishets, asexuals, queer/lgbt resources, taxonomy, or the state of those things in the real world are if the Smart Multiply Oppressed People you look up to are so absolutely certain that “Homophobic cishet asexuals are invading lgbt spaces and stealing resources” or that “Asexuality is white supremacist and colonialist because it taxonomizes sexuality”?

No, you don’t. You repeat the Safe Opinions that these people give you, because if you have an opinion of your own and it accidentally contradicts that (or can be perceived to do so) in any way, or if your glorious leader chances to disagree for unrelated reasons, you are now the target of the same righteous wrath you have been dishing out on others, and you will deserve it. And you’d better pray that you’re not interested in something or part of a group that will be deemed problematic for whatever valid-sounding reason tomorrow, or you’ll suddenly be on the outside all the same no matter how well you have behaved up till this point--though most REGs don’t see that far ahead. They see their leaders as people fighting injustice, not people who just want to fight something, anything, and are looking for any slipshod excuse to have a reason to and get praised for it. They think that as long as they are Good they will be safe, and don’t yet realize that under this system there is no such thing as absolute good or bad, but only what their leader currently likes/tolerates or dislikes, and that that can change at any moment.

It’s a horrifyingly abusive system. Because it relies on a specific type of abuser to work--a well-spoken, demographically oppressed person who frames themself as progressive and fighting bigotry, and who indeed often does start out fighting real oppression (such as misogyny, racism, or homophobia) and having real insights into that oppression, and who almost always believes their own arguments and projected image--and also on a crowd of lackey enforcers of varying degrees of awareness and complicity, even survivors of past abuse are often vulnerable to these systems and become convinced that the head abuser(s) know better and are right. After all, they’re marginalized/survivors themselves, more than you are, always somehow more than you are, and they keep coming up with insights you’d never have figured out on your own.

(And the reason you wouldn’t have is often simply that they’re illogical, untrue, or just make no sense, but it would be bigoted to question them, you’ve been taught. These kinds of abusers have turned the very good strategy of “Believe the experiences of victims and marginalized people; don’t say they’re lying about it” into the now alarmingly prevalent idea that “disagreeing with someone who’s a victim or more marginalized than you about anything, especially anything even tangentially related to what they’ve gone through, or even something completely unrelated to their past or marginalization, is bigoted.” Put simply, “the most oppressed person in the room must be right.” Like being oppressed makes you an expert, instead of simply giving a little more insight. Ironically, REGs turn themselves into the very thing that anti-SJWs stereotype activists as!)

This type of abuser identifies as an inherently good person, and because of that thinks that anything that confuses, scares, or disgusts them is bad. They have no separation of action from identification; just as they think that their being good makes them inherently good, they think that doing anything they deem bad makes someone inherently bad, and therefore a target. Moreover, when they see something that claims a difference between identification and action, and the action applies to them but they don’t like the identification, their response is to say either that the identification doesn’t exist, if the perceived conflict applies to the outgroup, or that the identification is wrong if the conflict applies to self/ingroup identity. (E.G. thinking that asexuals who choose to have sex must not really be asexual, because they’re doing the same thing as non-asexual people, completely ignoring their reasons or what they feel; being told that telling people to kill themselves is bad, and deciding that it must not be bad because they’re doing it so therefore it must be good). Their rhetoric oscillates between loaded emotional appeals and paragraphs of dense theory with provocative, soundbite conclusions; they are very good at justification, and attempts to disagree with them will end in gaslighting. If they can’t convince you that their argument is right, then they will try to convince you that asking to have boundaries respected is ableist, or that trying to disagree with them in the first place is racist or homophobic, or that they’re inherently more oppressed than you are and so therefore their opinion is more valid, even if it doesn’t directly relate to the subject in question at all but yours does...and so on.

And then if you keep disagreeing with them, all their fans who still believe waht they say will rush to harass and denounce you and get approval points, while the primary abuser(s) disavow their involvement with the harassment (and yet make no effort to stop it). Next week, some of them will get the same treatment, or next month, or next year, whether for disagreeing, offering a minor factual correction or asking a question, or for some inherent trait or formerly-considered-harmless behavior that has suddenly become the new source of all evils. I really hope most of the lower-ranking REGs can get out of these Woke Personality Cults before they get hurt too badly, and unlearn the patterns of thought that got them there in the first place. Heck, I hope the higher-ranking ones can stop doing it, too. If they don’t--I want to say I hope they experience what they’ve done to others, but I’m not sure I could willingly inflict that on even the worst person in the world. There are certain levels of cruelty that are just pointless.

There is nothing more dangerous than a person utterly convinced of their own rightness or righteousness who has learned to manipulate people’s fears. Doubt yourself and your motivations often.

Personally, I think the only way to combat a politics of fear is to learn how to act out of love, but this post is already a mile long. But tl;dr, REGs are manipulating people though a combination of fear of ostracism, fear of the villain of the day, and the positive reinforcement of being able to consider one’s self inherently good. Because ostracism can be so swift and arbitrary, and because the logic is so bad, their side of any discourse turns into though-terminating cliches, with an input-output based call-and-response so that the lower ranks do not even have to understand what those thought-terminating cliches mean, just the moral value attached to specific buzzwords. This prevents the dupes from figuring out that the catchphrases are either a) entirely meaningless or b) incredibly and unarguably bigoted if you consider their actual implications in the slightest. And all this resembles the “Chinese Room” scenario where someone can produce coherent or at least semi-coherent responses in a language they don’t understand by means of pattern recognition, within a limited set of possible topics, but not when something happens that isn’t programmed for.

#failure-artist #reply #orig post #text #the discourse #regs #abuse

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