#like i havent been doing for the past.. since wednesday | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

my3rzs · 1 year

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hii i love your work so muchh! i want to request a jealous xavier thorpe x fem reader where xavier gets all protective and jealous when someone flirts with reader and he’s really possessive and ahh

summary: xavier hasn’t been talking to you since wednesday addams arrived at nevermore, so you give him a taste of his own medicine

requests: open

notice: wednesday is not inlove with anyone, tyler is not the monster, and all the characters are 18+

pairing: xavier thorpe x reader

a/n: im so sorry i havent been posting, i was more focused on school and i had to get my final grades for 2nd quarter. but anyways reblogs would help, this is not proofread btw uhm

it’s been 2 weeks since wednesday addams has arrived at nevermore and xavier hasn’t been talking to you since the mysterious wednesday addams has arrived, it really started to bother you.

it was a saturday, you and xavier always did something on a saturday, watch movies in his dorm, go to the carnival, go to an arcade and stuff, so you decided to text him if he wants to hang out.

y/n: hey, do you wanna hang out today? we haven’t hung out in the past 2 saturdays.

xavs: sorry no, i have plans with wednesday already. maybe next time?

you felt like your heart shattered as you read his message, so you left him on read.

you decided to go to the weathervane to clear your head.

you walked in and saw tyler,

“tyler! hi!”

“hey y/n, what would you like?”

“oh, i’ll just have a matcha”

“okay! coming right up”

he brought you your matcha to your table as you both saw xavier and wednesday walk in.

your smile faded as you saw them both together.

“woah, something going on between you guys?” tyler asks as he noticed that your smile faded

“nope, just jealousy i guess” you sigh

tyler sat with you and you drank your matcha.

you could feel xavier’s eyes on you, knowing he was so jealous right now.

you decided to give him a taste of his own medicine and continue this.

the rave’n was tomorrow, so you decided to ask tyler.

“hey, do you maybe wanna go to the rave’n with me?” you smiled.

“as friends” you mouthed

he got the signal to go along with it “yes, sure y/n! i would love to!” he says

you couldn’t see xavier but you knew he was fuming with jealousy right now.

“okay, i’ll be heading out now. see you tomorrow at the rave’n!” you say and walk out, you could see xavier furious at your peripheral vision.

you and your friends decided to go dress shopping because of the rave’n.

you went into a store and saw a retro, butterfly, white, short-sleeved dress. this was the perfect dress for you.

the night of the rave’n

you put on your dress and started doing your hair into a braided bun, and enid did your makeup.

you heard a knock on your door and opened it, revealing tyler in a white suit.

“hey, ready to make xavier jealous?” he gave you a smirk

“damn right i am” you say

you two walked in and everyone was staring at you two.

xavier was with wednesday but he couldn’t keep his eyes off of you, and wednesday started to notice.

you and tyler went to get drinks, mostly vodka. you had 9 shots already and you were already drunk.

you and tyler went to the dance floor and started to dance to the music.

the music stopped and tyler went to get a drink from himself, you waited for him until you felt a hard grip pulling you outside.

“okay, y/n. can you tell me what’s going on? why’d you go with tyler?”

“and why’d you go with wednesday? stupid” you giggled and almost fell at his chest but he caught you

“are you drunk?” he furrowed his eyebrows

“no.. you are” you say

he took you to his dorm and laid you down on his bed

“okay, can you atleast tell me why you went with tyler?”

“i tried to make you jealous because you haven’t talked to me since wednesday has arrived”

“y/n, i was working on a case with her”

“well.. i didn’t know that”

“okay- i have liked you for about 2 years, or more, i want you to be mine only and i want to be yours only. i hate seeing you with other people and it drives me crazy” he rambled

“can i kiss you?” you ask

before he could answer you kissed him on the lips and he pulled you closer, the kiss felt so delicate, you have always wanted this and you finally got it.

you broke the kiss to catch breaths and smiled at him.

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im crying i finished this and it doesnt even fit the request and its like my other oneshot i think im gonna cry but i literally have no motivation to rewrite so enjoy 😭

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leigh-kay · 1 year

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Tyler x reader where reader has actually been killing everyone as a Hyde and manipulated everyone into thinking it was Tyler. Tyler figures out it was really her and fucking rails her as revenge - @serrinaisdying (didnt know how to answer it twice lmfao) but here u go babe

.... i told u i was on it 🥂

Revenge is Best Served Rough | tyler galpin

SMUT OBVI

i am so fucking sorry for that cheesy ass title oh my god

warnings // mean!tyler, struggle for dominance lmao, dark!reader, dark!tyler, a teeny tiny smack across readers face, choking, missionary bc tyler likes to know you're looking at him as he fucks you, degrading, unprotected sex (would not reccomend), dirty talk (my fav), mention of past... encounters w xavier bc hes on my mind, p in v fr, spitting in readers mouth, biting

Her door slammed shut, causing her to jump, a gasp escaping her as she turned on her bed to acknowledge the sound.

Her eyes widened at what she saw.

"Tyler, aren't you supposed to be in a cell right about now?"

He tried his best not to laugh at her casual ask, "Not like you have any reason to fear me so why does it matter?"

"Wednesday says you're dangerous... That you're the one killing people." She scooted towards her headboard in an effort to put distance between them.

He smiled, "You're the prettiest little fucking liar there ever were."

The falsified fear in her eyes no longer lingered, her fingers releasing the grip she has on her duvet. The jig was fucking up.

"You think I'm pretty?" She grinned, patting at her bed, "Come sit, we clearly need to talk."

"Have you lost your fucking mind?"

"That happened before we even met, now don't be a rude guest. Sit down."

His arms crossed, but he sat. He refused to take his eyes off of her. Answers were in order.

"Why me?"

"You're mom of course. She was like me. You will be too. You havent been awoken yet. Your mother died but for some reason it didn't trigger you. You'll be transformed one day, and when you are, all that extra strength and anger and hunger will amplify and you'll be just like me. I blamed you because it made sense."

His eyes narrowed, "You blamed me for no good reason! I haven't done anything yet!"

"Yet. And I blamed you because you're young and clueless and weak."

Her head cracked the headboard as his hand grasped around her neck, closing her airways and leaving her choking on the air she couldn't call in. It made her stomach turn, and his head spin.

"You call that weak? Looks to me like you're in no position to speak." He laughed under his breath. Pun intended, he supposed.

Her own fingers twisted around his wrist, pressing her nails into his skin, cutting and digging. It called a hiss out of his teeth, but made him falter just enough to catch a breath as his grip loosened.

He was wild. Eyes black, hair messed and teeth bared. His lips were swollen, bitten to a raw point that she assumed was from Wednesdays torture methods just a few hours prior.

He looked like he wanted to rip her apart limb by limb and fuck, she hadn't been this turned on since her and Xavi snuck around secret library last semester.

"Oh? So the psycho bitch doesn't shut up unless she wants to be fucked then?"

He's closer to tranforming than she thought if he can smell her already.

She opened her mouth to speak, having his hand come across her cheek.

"Not one more word."

His hands groped at her, tearing away at her top as his lips attacked hers as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

Kisses, bites, tore down her neck as she wrapped her legs around the backs of his thighs, tugging his already hard cock against her core, bucking against him. The groan he let out was enough to let her relax. He at least wouldn't be a real threat to her safety until after he finished.

She'd worry about that after he fucked her senseless then. Priorities.

"Why do you kill?" He worked off her jeans.

She laughed, "I'm not allowed to talk."

He halted his motions, grabbing her by the chin, "Open." She obeyed.

She always thought if someone spit in her mouth she'd hate it. She fought the shame off of the fact it was actually the hottest thing she'd ever experienced. She swallowed with a smile on her face.

"Now, if you can open your mouth to be a slut you can open it to talk." He glared down at her, thumb running over her cheek in a manner much too soft for the mood of their situation.

"I kill because it's fun." she grasped at his shoulders and forced her weight over, straddling him as he fell under her.

"I kill because it feels good," her own mouth found his collarbones, tugging the skin between her teeth and nipping just hard enough he whined, hips bucking involuntarily.

"And i kill because they taste of their fear is amazing," her tongue ran across his neck, "not as good as you taste though."

He lifted his hips to press against her center and her eyes fluttered as he repeated the motion, bringing his hands to her hips. He used all that extra strength to force her down against him and he didn't let up until she finally gasped and lost the straightened posture she'd taken on top of him.

Lost in the feel of him against her, she hadn't noticed when he grabbed at her wrists and rolled her right back under him. Not until he stopped his attack on her lower half.

She whined before she could stop herself.

"Tyler so help-" his mouth covered hers.

"Let's try the quiet route again, yeah?"

His fingers crept into her panties, pulling them down her legs as she wiggled under him. She was desperate for friction he refused to currently give her.

"You're unbelievable. Getting me arrested to letting me use you like a goddamn toy."

He bit his way up her thighs, onto her stomach, "and I meant it when I said you were a pretty liar."

He tugged her bra down, exposing her breasts to the cold of the room and to his view.

"I think it's just because I like seeing your mascara run when you cry. Even if it's fake, those little tears of yours are just so precious you know?"

His lips closed over her nipple, pulling, the warm contrast made her sigh. Her relief was short lived as his teeth began to tug at her.

"Fuck!" she squealed, hands finding his hair and tugging right back.

"Thought I said to shut the hell up?"

"Either fuck me or kill me Galpin, choose fast or I'm choosing for us."

His eyes rolled as he ripped his pants down, taking his cock in his hand as he leaned over her.

He was bigger than expected, and thicker too. Butterflies stormed her stomach as he eyed her, looking feral.

He entered her with a single quick thrust, fucking into her with ease.

He didn't go slow and he didn't care to. She was hardly complaining. The sting was unimaginable compared to the feel of him pulling at that spot inside of her that had her clawing at his back.

It made her eyes roll as his hand refound her neck, squeezing just enough to make her gasp.

"God you're such a slut. Squeezing down on me like you need it."

She couldn't force out a snarky reply. Not when she could feel him in her stomach. She thought she might die when she saw him pushing against her, the print just visible as he fucked her.

He could see the bruises forming from the bites he'd ravaged her with, and the sight of the red staining the cheek he'd struck and he hated to admit it made his blood warm like a fire.

"Faster," she cried, eyes watering at the brutality of each thrust.

He slowed, putting more weight behind each slow drag as he pressed a hand down where his cock pushed against her pelvis.

"Can't have you calling the shots," he teased, noting her annoyance at ignoring her request.

Her stomach clenched as she forced her walls in on him, making him whine against her neck.

"Keep that up and you won't cum at all."

She huffed, bucking her hips, "Please, I'll be good, I'll tell them all the truth, please!"

"You? Be good?" he pierced each word with a thrust hard enough to make her head spin.

"I promise!" she sobbed, feeling the tightening in her core as her legs shook around him.

"So pretty when you beg too, hmm?" He ran his fingers across her clit, feather light with each touch as he pounded into her like she was less of a person and more of a toy.

She fought to keep her eyes on him as he gazed down at her, a smile gracing his lips just as he pressed harder against the bundle of nerves keeping her in tact.

"Tyler!" she yelled, teeth tearing into her bottom lip as she let go.

She saw stars, moaning and crying as it crashed down on her. It drove him crazy to watch her fall apart, driving him to pump harder, fuck her through each and every wave as it hit her.

His own composure began to break as he felt the build start to break. His hands tightened around her waist, pressing hard into her as he came, head falling back as she seemed to suck out every last drop he forced out.

He fell to her side as they caught their breath, staring at the cieling.

Before she could fully calm down, her phone was held over her face.

"You promised."

#smut #tyler galpin smut #xavier thorpe #wednesday #tyler galpin #netflix #wednesday smut #rough smut #biting #enemies to lovers #choked while fucked

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ppnuggie · 8 months

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　　　　　　TRACKS x gn reader

　　　　『　tracks ,, gender neutral reader 』

　　-> reader n tracks are partners at a local police station . pt.1

　　— tw :: death ,, past trauma w/ reader ,, bullets + gunfire ,, mentions of a gang ,, human trafficking ,, black market

　　— tried to think of what would be somewhat upsetting for this little short series w/ tracks . reader is a cop and is working on a case together w/ tracks . really just putting some tracks content out there bc theres nothing of him and i like him a lot :( feel free to request anything of him or ask questions abt the past few series :3 ill be happy to explain anything rlly . this is set in the g1 timeline too . this is pretty much an introduction to the series <3

— feel free to reblog or give any comments / feedback ! <3 i enjoy reading them and seeing my work spread !

" officer (l/n) ,, this is your new partner ." was what you heard from the chief ,, setting down your drink and looking up to meet the large mech in front of you . he was one of those cybertronians from space ,, here on earth for some reason . you didnt keep up with the news as of late ,, busy mourning your previous partner who had died in a recent crossfire between a gang that you two had been tracking for some weeks now . " hello ,, it's nice to meet you ,," you nodded to the brightly colored mech . " it's tracks ,, and it's nice to meet you as well officer ." he replied . his voice was different from what you've heard before in your life .

silky and velvety ,, as though it would be from the most expensive of cloth around the world . it was that of one you would hear from those rich british men who came overseas and always had something to complaim about . yet ,, he didnt seem the type to do that .

" well tracks ,, hope youre good with long term cases ." you snicker to yourself before taking a quick sip of your drink and opening the case file to the previously mentioned gang . " my previous partner and i had gotten somewhat close to arresting these punks ,, but things happened and they ended up escaping ." tracks got down to one knee ,, his arm resting over his leg as he peered over your shoulder . you saw the chief leave the room out of the corner of your eye ,, and resumed your focus to the file .

" what gang is this ?" tracks asked ,, scanning over the words in the file . your hand came to your chin ,, explaining what you knew so far of the crooks . " they deal with human trafficking ,, kidnapping women who stray a little too far from the street lights to sell and trade on the black market . they've also been known to be the result of a few mass murders down town in some clubs ." you take another quick sip from your drink ,, flipping the pages . " last we saw them was in an alley of a bar ,, leaving in a limousine . so i'm guessing they've either got a hella lot of money ,, or they're good business partners with those who do ."

tracks nodded ,, taking in the information better than you'd assume he would . maybe you were expecting a few disgusted looks or a gag ,, yet received nothing of the sort . " do you know their usual routine yet ?" he asked ,, helm turning your way . " kind of ,, though i'm not sure it really can count as a routine . the most active they are is on wednesday nights ,, usually in allies of bars or clubs . the closest i had gotten to getting a lead on them was two weeks ago ."

" what happened ? im assuming you didnt figure out where they went ,," he tilted his helm to the side . " some others were behind me an' my partner ,, they shot at us a bit . one of their bullets grazed my partner ,, and ever since i havent been able to work on the case ." you casted your eyes to the side ,, remembering the night . adrenaline had pumped vigorously through your veins ,, trying your damnest to steer clear of the bullets flying past the vehicle . you did manage to steer clear of them ,, though at the cost of your partner getting severely injured . the images of it flooded your mind ,, squinting your eyes close and taking another sip of your drink .

" sorry for your loss ." tracks murmured lowly ,, unsure of what to do . you only shook your head ,, brushing it off . " doesnt matter ,, just be sure youre ready later tonight for a bit of patrolling ." you waved your hand at him ,, leaving the case file with the mech so he can review it as much as needed .

#transformers x reader #x reader #x gender neutral reader #human reader #robot x human #robot x reader #tracks x reader #transformers tracks #tracks #g1 tracks #transformers g1 #g1 x reader #🌄.g1 #🌄.tracks #📍. tracks / gn reader short series

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lovestrucksuggestion · 1 year

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hey, sorry if this is too much or smth, but i really don't wanna tell anything to my friends i fearike it'd be "too real" AND OBVIOUSLY I WANT IT TO BE REAL BUT, i don't know, i feel like i'll jinx or fuck it up somehow if i tell it;;

hello, again, okay so, a few weeks back we had this thesis project 6 per group and ive had converstaions w all of them except for 1.

by this point i was lamenting over a past love, we werent necessarily together since we were like, idk 14 or smth when it happened and its been 7 years, we kinda drifted apart after graduation since i thought 'it wouldnt last anyway' and i kept rejecting their advances for a year or two, but i still liked them;;; anyway back in 2020 we got in touch again and i told them that i still liked them and i was just dumb and all that and they seemed to return my advances and ofc i asked if they were comfortable and not just going w the flow yknow and they said yes so.

i confessed and they said not yet cause of school stuff but they do like me still and so i said id wait, THEN it was all okay since we joke and all that but they always seem to reject when i ask them directly about us or like even just to meet up or smth, and ofc i get it so i try not to bother them too much until valentine's rolls in and they post smth on ig with them and their friends and theres this girl with a solo shot of her being goofy and smiling and i just.

idk i took it as a sign to stop since he always used to do that w me before so yeh.

and then like with school i just got lost in all it and directed every ounce of my passion so we finished some stuff quite early, theres only 2 big ones of them we needed to do so a member suggested to split the work between us six. one of thems easier than the other so i got grouped with the guy i havent talked to, kinda scared abt it but all was fine. i added him (lets call him graham) on facebook so we could talk in messenger about planning what to do and all that, then after i found that he's friends with another group member who happened to be someone im close with, kinda AND they messaged me so i asked whats up cause i thought it was abt the project and they reply with smth along the lines of "nothing, graham's just rlly overjoyed since u addrd him cause he likes u" AND IM WHAT CAUSE IM P SURE WEVE NEVER MET then he follows it up w "ure his type, smart and hardworking" AND I DONT HAVE THE HEART TO TELL THAT IM A FALSE ADVERTISEMENT CAUSE IM RLLY NOT ALL THAT AND IM SCARED OF DISAPPOINTING ANYONE

anyway they let it be and i didnt think much of it cause maybe theyre just messing around yknow so nothing much happened, we finished the project and everything's all right until we were grouped for another thing through our society/club whatevr and i was kinda nervous since its my first time meeting them and everything was fun actually turns out it was graham's bday last tuesday so i greeted him and we joked a bit cause wednesday's the club thingy, i didnt even know what he looked like since his pfp's from when he was a kid

wednesday rolls in and im in the library with a friend, a mutual friend of ours and he said hello to me and i was so happy somehow??? I DONT REALLY GET IT MYSELF I USUALLY TAKE SO LONG TO ACCLIMATIZR TO SOMEONE BUT LIKE THE CLUB THINGY WENT WELL AND WE WERE JOKING BY THE END OF THE DAY AND I JUST, i think i like him as well?? he even asked to take a picture with me he seemed so nervous i wanted to hug him I ACTUALLY THOUGHT ITD BE OUR WHOLE GROUP IN THE CLUB but it turns out it wasnt so !!!!!!

thursday comes and we messaged a bit (he chatted first, abt the thesis) we were in a seminar and i was a bit late that day so i was at the back and our other classmates r upfront w him so never really met, until a friend of mine and i were going home and we MET THEM ON THE TRAIN ISTG MY HEART WAS JUMPING UNTIL I GOT HOME SMILING LIKE AN IDIOT WHILE WALKING

okay sorry but like, tldr, im a bit afraid that i only "like" him cause he liked me first, yknow after i waited for the previous person and evrything for so long and receiving little to nothing ++ i think his expectation of me's kinda high im neither smart nor hardworking im just anxious all the time so i have to do my work quick or else i'll die and some part of me's still doubting his feelings for me as just a prank cause nsjdhbf idk im not really pretty too so whats up why is this happrning but he's so fucking cute (generally) and i am falling as well and im scared cause we'd be graduating in a year so what if this also doesnt end quite well and i end up losing a friend?

i kinda also wanna just come up to him and invite him for a date but yeh :( and yesterday my phone died and i was stoked to meet him but he wasnt at uni so i was kinda sad then i find out the previous person i like messaged me and idk they were kinda flirty and i feel bad if i leave them again cause ive done it once and i was only left with regrets so what if im just repeating history aaaa its so hard to like manage everything too if graham and i somehow manage to be together im not great at balancing things what if i let him slip away or smth

again sorry for this i just wanted to know what other people think i really wanna shoot my shot at the same time i feel like im a people pleaser so yknow what if im just doing this cause of attention or smth idk huhu thanks in adavmce if u answer this but no hatd feelings if u dont thank u boo

Hello, you seem very stressed out! Please take several deep breaths, put on some calming music and remember that none of this is life or death.

First of all, you're right to let this past love go, it's simply not in the cards and I'm proud of you for recognizing that. Throw the whole man away, if he makes you feel bad(even if he's not doing it on purpose!) you don't need that drama.

I'm not going to diagnose you with anything over the internet, especially not based on one interaction, but I will say that in this ask specifically, you are exhibiting pretty high levels of anxiety and worry that it might be good to speak to a professional about. Your university should have free mental health services, if you have insurance you can call and ask what providers they cover, and failing that, there are many therapists and psychiatrists who offer sliding scale coverage for low income patients.

Alright, now that's done, what needs to happen here is something that I know you will not like, but is pretty much mandatory-you need to have a conversation with Graham. It's okay if it turns out you only like that he's interested in you, and when you get to know him you're less into him. You're not asking him to marry you after all. It's also okay if you're not smart or funny or hardworking (I think you're being too hard on yourself, but even so, it's okay).

If you talk with him and express your interest, you can set a boundary on how you like to be complimented(i.e., low pressure compliments that don't comment on your abilities) and specify if you want something casual just to see how you vibe. Even if you graduate, you might stay together, or you might not. You definitely won't know unless you try.

Also, who cares if you want attention???? you're human, that's totally natural. You're not gonna go to Needy Jail for it.

All that to say:

go to therapy

figure out what you want (in general and from Graham specifically. You can do this in therapy)

stop talking to past love

start talking to Graham about what you want

remember that even if things end up less than ideal, it's okay

#relationship advice #love advice #advice #anxious anon #come back and tell me how it goes!!!#im rooting for you!!!!!

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lilweaselhub · 2 years

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Blog updates!! (10/7) Applying to all blogs!!!

Hey! so I know I have been kind of absent for a hot minute. allow me to explain.

LONG POST, but PLEASE read if were mutuals!

Basically, about a month ago I started having some not so fun health symptoms (Pain, legargy hematuria (ill let google be your friend there) ). At first I thought i had a bad uti or another infection of some kind. The symptoms were on and off and I went to two appts at a clinic. First time said I had a UTI prescribed me medicine and sent me on my way. They ended up changing the antibiotic midway through saying it wasnt right. (This will be important later. )

So i took it, thinking they knew what they were talking about. But less than a week later the symptoms came back worse than before. I ended up going back to the clinic, who because when I was there, had no symptoms they could see (Thanks body.) They sent me home. Fast forward about two days later,and it gets bad enough to go to my first Emergency room visit. They proceed to tell me the antibiotics werent going to treat a UTI of Any Kind (Amazing), but give me new medicine and send me home.

So there I am, taking medicines thinking, surely---this will be the end of it.

It was not.

Literally 24 hours later, I wake up in the WORST pain I have ever experienced in my life, unable to stop heaving, literally begging for it to stop. Back I end up at the hospital, who give me morphine (the pain was that bad.) and nausea medicine, and tell me after an MRI that lo and behold, a kidney stone is whats causing my pain. One i cannot feesibly pass on my own. So they scheduled me for surgery. (That was the 28th).

Since, ive been recovering from said surgery over the past week. Its been on and off how I’ve felt and I’ve only really felt consistently better since wednesday. Ive still had a lot of nausea and pain. (Todays a bit of a bummer outlier cus im feeling some pain again). I still have till the 20th before I even get the stent removed they put in my kidney (fun). So Im still on a long road to recovery. But HOPEFULLY this will be IT, and it will be the last bout of recovery I have to worry about and I’ll be back in business as usual in a month.

So what does this mean for rp on my blogs?

Well. I’m gonna be real, I miss rping a lot. But I havent felt great or really up to much of anything since this started. while its improving, its still very low in terms of energy, motivation and feeling well.

Because of this, I’m going to say my blogs are on SEMI-HIATUS until 11/10. (This is a preliminary date as It may be pushed back or forward depending on how fast i recover). This does not mean I will do NO rps, but i will be doing a lot LESS. There will be days where I’m not here at all, sometimes several in a row. && I will be likely only doing short replies/asks until I’m back in the swing of things.

***A little add on to this: I will be getting my next furbaby a golden retriever puppy between the 5th-9th of november. This will also CUT my activity but hopefully not as much as this health fiasco has been. I will be sharing pictures of him too when I get back dont even worry. He’s gonna be a spoiled lil bugger. but just in case i push the date further, or seem still low activity after the hiatus is over, this is probably why.

As always feel free to still send me asks, or IMs. Or you can message me for my discord if you’d like to plot or talk! I’m still here, and I want to be here. I just didn’t account for a health emergency this year. 2022 has been a LOT for me.

#tmi tw #ig #medical tw #LONG POST #if you read this! thanks!#im sorry ive been gone.#my motivation has taken a nosedive with my health #i lost like 15 pounds from how sick ive been #woof.#i miss you guys tho!

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bl00dybat · 3 days

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so birthday is 3 days away now godd i want to puke im so scared for it ahhh. it hasnt been good the last 2 years and i just want to have a good time, not think, and be loved, its been such a mess the past few years.

i dont think ill reach my goal though ): ive been mostly undereating and these next 2 days im gonna try to do 500 cal or under so hopefully when i wake up wednesday im at least 130 or 131..i weighed a few days ago at 133 and havent checked since then. im gonna check tomorrow morning since i havent done that bad today but yeah.

i want to eat healthier man i really wish we had more of that available ;_; i always think of cals now but i am trying to detach myself from it a lil so im not just constantly thinking of it. i kind of want to somehow transition into jus naturally not eating as much like i did as a kid, and only counting if i need to maintain or something. so im just eating what i like but making sure its not too much, idk i jus dont want my ed to be EVERYTHING, still, i will keep getting smaller until ive reached my goal

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chronicallyillphoenix · 5 months

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My psych says that i am emotionally dissociated and this is the reason that in the past 6+ months i have actually felt a single emotion. The rest of the time i feel nothing. Absolute apathy. I get physical sensations of emotions (like tight chest when i would usually feel anxious, widespread tension/pain when i would feel angry, sinking chest and nausea when i would usually feel sad) but i dont actually *feel* the emotions. I have been explaining it like how it feels when getting a cavity fixed, the dentist numbs up the tooth so you dont feel the actual pain, but you still experience the physical sensations like the vibrations, smell, and scraping. She says its because i am still living with my ex and even tho we are friends, i still havent been given the chance to step back and actually let myself process all of my feelings.

Thats probably one of the reasons i am just now realizing im probably really depressed. Which would make A LOT of sense given a lot of the things that have happened in the past 6 months. Like. I broke up with my fiance the same day i got the money for a deposit for a wedding venue, i have lost not one, but three of my cats. And i never got to tell any of them bye because they live with my parents and even tho i didnt want them living outside, i didnt get a voice in the matter since i no longer lived there and the house went from my 2 parents, to 4 adults and a baby and they just didnt have room. Two of them were just really old and we think they did the animal thing and just went off somewhere to die alone and it *hurts* because the first one to go was my favorite because of how sweet he was and who i always slept with in my arms when i would visit (i have struggled so hard to spend the night there with him gone). But once he was gone the other two were gone within the next two months and none of them were expected (like we knew bandit and bunnie were old but we expected to them to pass away inside the cat pen where they stayed every night like every barn cat before them had and that way we could bury them up on the hill, but it didnt turn out that way). I have also developed more concerning health symptoms and have gotten no answers to them. And now my mom has broken her shoulder and isnt going to be able to work for the next 3 months and even tho shes getting workers comp, her pay is significantly less and shes my sole source of income right now. And so i am always already feeling guilty about spending any money but now i feel worse about it and am having panic attacks because i got fast food once this week because i was flaring too bad to make anything myself even tho my mom gives me money *specifically* so i can get food and stuff when i am in a flare.

But yeah i have realized i am almost certainly depressed and the funny thing is that the way i realized this was a tumblr poll. It was asking what peoples hobbies were and i couldnt answer it because in the past year i havent really had anything hobby wise. Ive mostly stopped reading, i am not doing pour paintings, not doing my paracord stuff, and anytime i decide im going to finally start knitting i just end up picking up the yarn and staring at it for a bit before setting it back down and going back to sitting on the couch with the tv on in the background for background noise.

Im going to see my psych on wednesday and i hope to talk to her about this but i also dont know what there is to do about it. Probably raise my antidepressant but idk. Im not even sad so i dont see the point in raising my antidepressant because idk what being not depressed would change because were pretty sure the apathy is because of current circumstances and not just because of depression idk. I just want everything to be normal again

#chronically ill phoenix #tw vent #tw animal death #tw dentist #tw injury #tw money

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megan-bopo-journey · 6 months

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15th December

This morning was a tough morning with coeliac stuff. I'm feeling extremely anxious about glutening myself being pregnant but also this weird imposter syndrome just thinking about how relaxed I've been with this diet and yet I still fell pregnant and have seemed to maintain the pregnancy so far. I'm also 11 weeks which is when mum and Beth both lost their first pregnancies. I feel like because I havent been careful enough with my diet that I 'should' experience a miscarriage too, even though that's not how it works.

I have my work xmas party tonight and even though I called and confirmed they know what cross contamination is and how to avoid it I'm still scared that they'll react badly, or it'll bring up sympathy from my colleagues that I just cant deal with right now. I still have no idea if I'll go to Ash's thing, I'm leaning towards yes but I am feeling exhausted because I then have the thing on Sunday which again is around food and not a lot of time to set myself up for the week. I'm so thankful I only have one week left of work because between the anxiety with this pregnancy, anxiety coming up to social events with coeliac while trying to work I am TIRED!! Tired of making the decision of bringing my own food or asking all the coeliac questions and taking the risk, tired of thinking of what to eat all the time and meal prepping. Yesterday I got Roll'd and immediately regretted it because I KNOW it's a may contain and I should avoid it. But I was starving and didn't want to buy snacks I just wanted a proper lunch for once! And then I felt guilty and so worried I'm hurting my baby because I just can't manage how fucking strict this diet is. I hate how much stress this time of year brings because it all revolves around food which means me having to make decisions that I never asked to make. I feel like it isn't this hard for most people and I don't know why I just can't get past it. I'll be fine during quiet periods where there's not as much social events but as soon as there is I burn out so quickly. I tried to promise myself to follow up with 'treats' after events however when looking into it I don't always have time for solo dates and I still have to advocate for myself even if the restaurant is known for being coeliac safe. I'm getting my hair done on Monday (which is funny because I also had a hair appt after the retreat thing that was stressing me out so much) and apart from christmas day and the 27th that'll be it for food events for the year. Perhaps I just need to focus on doing the best I can to survive the end of the year mental health wise even if I can't advocate for myself every time and hopefully the new year I can focus on it more.

PLAN:

Tonight: "Just letting you know that I have coeliac which is like a severe gluten allergy, just wondering if you would be able to prevent cross contamination with the other pizzas when making mine?"

Tomorrow: Bring my food, just tell people "it's just easier", always the option to leave if it gets too hard. really think about whether I want to attend these events next year (this will be a good therapy topic) -this will be the hardest event, I want to push myself to at least try and go and I'll be relieved it's over but also proud of myself for going.

Sunday: I feel confident eating Elizabeth's mousakka and will be providing the pav so I know I'll get a safe dessert :) Be mindful with the crackers and dip etc.

Monday: get things to make chicken wraps for the week

Thursday: suggest non-food things with Navin e.g. starbucks, walk the river if she wants, nails done? tell her I am scared of getting glutened since getting preg

Xmas day: hard to control/predict, just do the best I can

27th: offer to order the chicken and let them know someone eating it has coeliac/severe gluten allergy

28th: unsure if I'll go, decide before xmas and just decline invitation.

Oh yes and thank god I have therapy on Wednesday!!

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raggofoof · 2 years

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I have made a big decision. It may not be big for anyonr else but it is for me. I have decided to cancel my gym membership. I have been with this gym for over 2 years probs closer to 3 tbh. I have been gyming since I was 19 (now nearly 25) the only times i stopped was when i lost my job bsck in 2019 ans i couldn't afford it anymore and during covid when the gyms closed. I have always gone to the gym at least 3 times a week and have always enjoyed it. The past 6 months have been hard for me. As much as the gym keeps my mind clear and my body feeling strong the past 6 months i just cant get behind it. I try and go and not enjoy it as much. I feel bad for not wanting to go or not going and it think it's now causing more harm than good. I never thought id ever quit the gym honestly. I have replaced it with exercise i really enjoy and will probably get more out of at this point. Im shocked but also proud of myself for this. It is a massive change for me as i have always been a gym junkie. Like i said tho ik not quitting then doing nothing. I have re started hoop as well as doing pole, i am going to hopefully pick up an extra jump class every other Saturday and my bf says she gets 4 guest passes for her gym a month so the Saturdays im not jumping imma go into her gym with her hopefully. Im hoping that quitting the gym infact makes me move more than less.

I had such a good routine but i havent been going and instead im doing nothing.

New routine is

Monday - 30 min walk with a. This is our day and i dont wanna book anything on it as i literally dont see him during the week.

Tuesday - hoop

Wednesday - jump

Thursday - pole

Friday - rest day but hopefully will go on longer walks whilst we still have day light after work

Saturday - every other i will jump and the alternate days i will either gym with r or do a home workout

Sunday - rest

We have so much gym equipment at home there is no need for the gym now plus im really enjoying the home workout vids which i never thought id say ALSO i plan on getting my own pole so mondays and fridays and Saturdays these are the days i plan on training that when i eventually get the pole.

Yay to new routines and beginnings

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kkusuka · 3 years

Note

What about a insecure reader about her and Ushijima's relationship since he doesn't seem all to interested in having her around unless it's for volleyball purposes. So when she starts to drift away from him he's super confused, suddenly Tendou becomes more comfortable to sleep on at movie nights, and Reon seems to know everything you used to tell Ushijima. And he struggles internally because he doesn't know what to do. And the last straw was when you walked in holding Goshiki's hand and he walked over pushing the 1st year away with a worried/pained/anxious face shaking his head saying no because he doesn't to no what else to say but he knows it's not right.

Muddle<3

relationship: ushijima wakatoshi x reader, slight oikawa tootu x reader

words: 1.5k

synopsis: Ushijima can’t bare to lose you.

cw: insecurity

a/n: i havent written something like this in a while and i really missed it!

Ushijima Wakatoshi was not emotionless.

Simple, but not emotionless.

It was something that had to be constantly reminded before people began to truly believe he didn’t feel anything. He’s had his many licks with emotion, as anyone else would. The joy of finding the one thing he truly loved doing; volleyball. The confusion when his mother began reprimanding him for using his left hand. The overwhelming helplessness when his father walked out the door.

Butterflies when you smiled at him in the hallway, the heat in his cheeks when he saw you in the stands at one of his games. The shake in his hands when he met you at the gates and told you his feelings, very detailed in facts.

Ushijima Wakatoshi was clearly not emotionless.

So why was it he seemed so indifferent to you?

You knew he had to feel something for you, people don't empty their entire heart just because they felt like it, at least you hoped. Of course, as much as he denied, you knew that you would be on par if not second to volleyball. In a sick way; you were fine with it as long as he came back to you and let you share some of his burdens, you were happy.

But as of recently, it seemed that he couldn’t even do that.

Gone were the nights he would fall into your arms outside the gym doors because he’s been practicing for five hours straight. The walks in the park when neither of you could sleep, ones that ended in his arms on the couch watching some random food network show.

So now, as you leone the couch, void of the warmth you so desperately crave; you can't help but wonder if it was only you who felt the distance between you.

Your door unlocked- just as you thought it would. Your boyfriend slipping through the door, eyes immediately finding your body draped over the end of the sofa. He could still see the dinner you had made, glazing over the dirty dishes, proof he was hours behind when he said he’d be here.

“Tosh? Is there any way we can spend more time together? It feels like it’s been forever since we’ve done something.”

“No. Nationals is arriving soon, I cannot do anything about my schedule. We are spending time together right now.”

If Ushijima was not emotionless; how was it so easy for him to dismiss you?

Did you and Tendou always have a Wednesday movie night?

Ushijima raked his mind for the last time he’d seen this; the last time he was in his dorm on a weeknight. He knew you and the redhead were good friends, close since the first year of high school. He remembered something about a sleepover before you had begun dating and the occasional dinner at some fast-food restaurant.

He understood both your and his love for anime, and the movies alongside. But if he hadn’t known any better, he would assume that it was to two of you dating, not yourself and him.

Clearing his throat, you both glanced from your spot, huddled on the couch, inviting him to sit beside you. It was nice, though he knew nothing about what was happening on screen, something about demons and a little girl along with a boy with boar head overtop his.

The second the credits rolled, you and Tendou engaged in a conversation that he couldn’t even begin to understand. Somehow ending in another plan to go out the next night for a store opening that will have a manga that you both like.

Finally, as Tendou left, you noticed how silent your boyfriend had been since getting there.

“Would you like to come with us, Toshi?” Would he? The ice in his eyes held the answer far before he spoke.

“No. I will be practicing.”

The statement seemed like nothing. A simple retort you’ve heard so many times you could predict what he was going to say before he did. The phrase forced the memories of laying alone on the couch and sitting at restaurants staring at the clock for what felt like-- and really was-- hours a night.

You could count o one hand how many dates that he’s been early too, or even stayed the whole time. That’s even when he accepted your invitation.

Your friend had warned you that you would feel like this, abandoned and thrown to the side. ‘Why do you stay? Clearly, he isn’t treating you right, o find someone who will!’

“Just for a little? We haven’t been out for a while.” you plea, noticing how he was ready to walk away.it felt like ages since you’ve had an actual conversation.

“Y/n, don’t start right now. I am tired, and I have already told you that I am busy. Quite pestering.” pestering? Is that what you meant to him, were you a bother?

Tendou had always reminded you that Wakatoshi wasn’t good at feelings. He didn’t know how to put what he felt into words. You accepted that, you understood that emotions can be harder on some people.

But now, it wasn’t just feeling an word, it was actions. It was the missed dates he never apologized for, the charging past you after practice that he stayed overtime for. It was him turning his back on you before you could respond.

As you turn your eyes catch one of the photos you have taped to your wall, a selfie you and him took during a trip to Harajuku in May. You bought matching bracelets both with small flower charms on each, ‘a symbol of eternal love’, yeah right.

‘If you’re the only one putting in effort, it’s not a relationship, it’s desperation’

Ushijima Wakaothish may not have emotions, but he surely had one.

Jealousy.

Green and far too ugly to acknowledge.

He may not understand the butterflies when you smile or the warms when your hand locks with his, but he knows exactly what the burning in his veins is. The furrow in his brown and deeper frown than normal, he’s jealous, extremely at that.

A fact that anyone who looked at the man could see, his aura radiated exactly what he was feeling, a true sight to behold.

His mind was muddled, what right did Oikawa have to even share the same breath as you, never mind put a hand on you. His mind ran through all of the things he could possibly do right there, he could punch the brown-eye playboy, but then he would be in trouble.

He could make a big scene and yell at him, or he could do nothing, just watch as the Seijoh playing steals your attention. Suddenly he’s thrown into memory, Reon and you chatting at the lunch table. Like you’d been friends for years, the smile that was supposed to only be meant for him plastered on your face.

Then it was Goshiki and his blistered hands that you so dutifully wrapped for him, holding his hand so tenderly that Wakatoshi wondered if it felt like when you held hands with him.

Then to Tendou, your pro-claimed cuddle buddy.

Would it even be worth it to stop Oikawa? Has he already lost you to someone else?

He couldn’t let that happen, not when he still had a chance to keep you.

You were violently ripped from whatever stupid pick-up line Oikawa was spouting by two hands on your hips. Your entire body was pulled into a hard chest as the same two arms cradle you to his.

“Waka-”

“Don’t talk to what’s mine, Oikawa”

You’ve never heard him sound so angry, he practically snarled at the setter, turning the both of you and walking down the hallway to the ext before the brown-haired man ould even retort.

“Toshi are you-”

“Please don't leave me.” Another emotion you’ve never seen from the man, fear.

He was acred, losing you was the end of the world for him. What was he supposed to do if you aren’t there for him? Who will he look at in the crowd to keep him going during the fifth set? There is simply no one that can give him the rush you can.

“I know I’ve been bad, and I’m so so sorry. I can make up for the dates and we can go to the manga store and to dinner whenever you want. We can watch movies after practice and cuddle whenever! Just please don’t leave me for Oikawa!” he pleaded, taking your hands to his, holding you so tightly and yet like you were glass.

“Wakatoshi, I’m not leaving you. Please calm down, I’m not going anywhere.” You move your hands to cup his face, finally taking notice of the tears looming in his eyes.

And you smiled. The smile just for him, taking his head onto your shoulder, slightly rocking back and forth. His hands rubbing along the length of your back.

“I’m not going anywhere.”

“I won’t let you.”

tags: @bakugos-cumsock @rinsangel

#ushijima wakatoshi #ushijima x reader #ushijima angst #ushijima x reader angst #ushijima wakatoshi x readder #ushijima wakatoshi x reader angst #oikawa tooru #oikawa angst #oikawa x reader #oikawa x reader angst #oikawa tooru x reader #oikawa tooru x reader angst #haikyuu angst #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x self insert

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curseofaphrodite · 2 years

Note

I am unwell

Guess who had the great idea of watching the worst grey's anatomy episode in the middle of the night and is now crying every tear in her body ?

ME(season 8 finale btw) (might be mild spoilers)

Cause i lack logical sense

And i have a question

WHY DO ALL OF MY FAVORITES CHARACTERS END UP DYING😭

Cause i'll start a show and get attached to a specific character and the worst things always happen to them or they die or both. EVERY. TIME. I'm starting to think shows writers have weekly reunions on who's gonna make me cry the most 😒

Anyway since i'm not sleeping anytime soon here's some tea bestie 💅(tw:drunk people)

So my friend has a crush on a guy in our russian class. She drunk text him a few times (she can legally drink no worries) to ask for lessons and to say some embarrassing stuff. Now they've been texting for a few weeks (sober this time) and talking a lot in school. And this morning she asked me if she should ask him out so me and our friends encouraged her

SHE ASKED HIM

AND HE SAID YES

They're going out wednesday i'm so happy for her she deserves this 😭

As for me... (honestly not much nothing tea worthy is happening for me rn)

So i got a crush on my cousin's best friend

I know that she's not straight so yeah to that

But she's a few years older so not going anywhere right now. She's a good friend tho and i'm very close to my cousin she's one of my favourite people and the wisest person i know so i often see them

Tonight my parents were talking to my sister about sex and my asexual self was like 😑. I was distracting myself by having an intense staring contest with my cat and i won :)

Also i saw The Batman yesterday it was great! Zoë Kravitz is gorgeous and her acting is amazing 💖. In my opinion the most realistic Bruce Wayne. Did you watch it?

My sister's been annoying me so much these past days she will get mad at me for nothing it pisses me off

Wbu how are u 💖?

⏳

FIRST OF ALL , OMG YOURE ACE TOO AAAA I KNEW YOU WERE SUPER COOL.

i havent started that show cause i get way too emotionally attached AND I GET IT. FAVES ALWAYS DIE. WHY??? WHYYY.

IM SO HAPPY FOR YOUR FRIEND OMGGG THEY'RE DEFO GONNA BE THE WHOLESOME COUPLE OF THE SCHOOL AND IM HERE FOR IT. GIVE ME UPDATES ON THAT.

dude dudeee YOU HAVE A CRUSH KSHHDJS tell me everything about her right this instant. yes yes take your time with making a move cause the best stories are the longest (i.e, how i met your mother series)

plss i give you hats off for tolerating that convo and yay you have a cat!!

i havent watched batman yet but i wanna!! :(( zoe is so amazing, she's a queen. been seeing a lot of good reviews of battinson so im excitedd.

SUE YOUR SIS! jk, just send her a rickroll and see how she likes it.

IM OKAY BUT MARCH IS MY LEAST FAV MONTH. if i make it out of this month without screaming like a banshee, id be so happy i swear. there are results coming up and i possibly failed atleast 2 subjects, another 720 marks exam coming up, retests, boy trouble, literally everything thats gonna give me more panic attacks ig 😭😭 HOW ARE YOU

#⏳anon #tea with anons

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oh-for-fic-sake · 4 years

Text

A Walk In The Park

Masterlist

Warninngs: Swearing

Meeting Henry in the park.

A Walk In The Park

It was about 9 in the morning when you got the leads out of the cupboard deciding that by this time the park would be quiet as the school rush was over and anyone who had to be at work was.Your two excited dogs ran at you jumping over one another to be the first on a lead , your 3 year old blue doberman Milly was first as you clipped the thick leather lead followed by your bearly year old phantom standard poodle polly. You preferred walking them when it was quiet because of their rare colours your girls were a prime target for dognapping because any pups they had would be very expensive. You grabbed a small bag of treats ,their ball launcher and favourite ball as you left . Walking to the park it was a huge enclosed field that had a small fenced off play area in the middle there was a foot path around the edge with the occasional bench and bin, large trees dotted hear and there across the whole park, near the enterance there was a small coffee kiosk for the dog walkers that frequently used the safe enclosed space to run there dogs. Once there you saw three other dogs running loose one large and two small but they were far enough away that you should be able to avoid them. Walking a quater the way down the field you released your babies letting them go scatty they both ran off in a large circle around you letting off steam. After a few moments they slowed down panting watching you as you leaned the ball launcher on your shoulder then flicked it catapulting the ball a fair distance . Playing the game of fetch as you continued walking slowly around the field. Throwing it for the 12th or so time was when you heard someone calling for there dog to "leave it" as an akita that tore past your two and caught the ball resutling in a freindly game of chase as Milly and Polly tried to get it back you laughed and waved it off as the large man jogged closer to you still calling his dog. He was very handsome from here you noted.

"Its fine, their freindly" you called out ,he shook his head at the playful pups before smoothing his dark hair back as he watched the three play excitedly. It was rare that your babies had a similar sized dog to play with everyone now days opting for tiny 'cute' dogs and the larger breeds falling out of fashion. You giggled as the akita run up to its owner dropping the ball who dutifully threw it in your direction. The three dogs chased it erratically it was only as they got closer you realised he'd misjudged the distance before you could move his dog collided with your legs sweeping them from under you. Crying out suprized you landed with a heavy thump on the near frozen ground, the dog realising its mistake stood over you sniffing to see if you were ok joined by your two, before being pushed away by the most beautifull man you think you have ever seen, your thought stuttered to a halt as you noticed he looking down at you with bright blues eye filled with concern.

"Kal you big lump look what you did. I am so sorry are you ok?" He said helping you up laughing it off.

"Yeah im fine not the first time a dogs knocked me on my ass." He looked you over quickly decideing that your ok but began trying to brush the dry dirt off of your legs and bottom. Flustered as this heavenly stranger wiped at the seat of your jeans,you bent down quickly to take over ending up butting heads hissing you both grabed your throbbing forehead.

"Shit sorry fuck is your head ok? Look at me" he said cupping your face making you look at him as he gently ran a thumb over your bumped head. You couldn't help the a small gasp as you saw just how handsome he really was tall and broad, a clean shaven angular jawline,his mouth had a defined cupids bow that looked perfect for kissing among other things, lightly defined cheek bones and all topped off with a set of incrediblely clear blue eyes he looked like a god, you snapped out of it as he ran his tongue over his lips in what you assumed was a nervous gesture.'well you are just fucking oogling him' you thought

"That was my fault sorry, are you ok?" He nodded staring at you still smoothing over your face, you thought it was because you looked a mess after falling ass over tit but it was actually the opposite he thought you were beautiful. Blushing at his appraisal you nervously pulled his hands away ,looking down stroking your babies who had been hovering around you since you fell,you quickly turned your attention to his dog.

"So hes a boy then?" He nodded sheepishly as he realised he'd been caught staring snapping out of his thoughts.

"Yep this is my son Kal" he said ruffling the dogs furry head who was panting content. You giggled it was cute

"These are my babies Milly and Polly" you pointed each one out he smiled letting them sniff his hand gaining approval to stroke them.

"They are really sweet ,amazing colours i dont think iv seen them before. I couldn't acctually tell what breed Milly was when i watched you come through the gates" He stated then faulterd sheepishly as he'd let slip he had been watching you ,choosing to ignore it he concentrated on giving your babies ear rubs as they reveled in all his attention. You nodded smieling shyly.

"Well thank you most people think they are scary tho because of there size. Milly is what you call a blue doberman and Polly is a phantom coat both are rare its why i try to bring them here when its quiet" he nodded in understanding sighing in relief as you didn't mention his embarrassing admission.

"Sometime people are wary of kal because of his size. And you coming when its quiet would explain why I've never seen you here befor, I'd have definalty remembered you" he flirted you blushed not sure where to look as he smirked at you. He picked up the ball launcher and leads from the floor beside you. Holding out your hand to take them back he twisted them away from you lightly with a teasing grin.

"I think we should continue this walk together ,you know for health and saftey's sake" he said winking at you as he used the launcher to pick up and launch the ball out towards the field causing the trio chase it. You nodded looking away your face glowing he chuckled.

"I just realised i havent introduced myself im Henry" he held out a stong hand you shook it introducing yourself.

"Y/n" he tested your name

"Well Y/n would you allow me to buy you a coffee on this fine cold morning?" You smiled shyly at him nodding

"If you want to"

"Oh i do trust me" you felt giddy as he slipped your hand in his before makeing your way to the kiosk.

It had been just over three weeks since you first walk with Henry and it had become a daily occurrence you'd both meet up at around nine grabbed your coffees and do two or three slow laps around the park before going your seperate ways. In that time you'd gotten to know one another he seemed quite reluctant to talk about his job at first, which you understood when he told you he was an actor, he was worried that it would scare you off but it didn't bother you in the slightest and that was the day you exchanged numbers. Your walks were spent chatting and casually flirting with one another, before you knew it you had a crush on the sweet man. Today was particularly cold as you made your way to the park when you got there Henry was at the bench by the kiosk coffees in hand he let out a laugh when he saw both your dogs in their little knit jumpers. You pouted at him as he gave you your drink.

"So your one of those?" He got out between laughter as you let them off their leads and began your walk.

"Yep its for a good reasons tho poodles hair is fine and wavy when they're young it gets thicker and curly with age untill then they feel the cold really bad and Milly gets jealous if Polly has her jumper on and she doesn't" he nodded watching as kal followed the two going between them investigating the jumpers comically then they began chaseing one another for the new slightly bigger ball that you had tossed towards them.

Henry moved closer towards you grasping your hand as usual, taking sips of his drink opting to kick the ball with across the grass with his feet as one of the dogs returned it.

"Well its freezing today there threatening snow by the end of the week" you sighed

"Just what i need snow" you muttered into your cup taking a mouthfull.

"Tell me about it i hope it will hold off until friday" you looked at him confused as he kicked the ball again.

"I have to travel just outside of london on wednesday should be back by friday morning at the latest ,its a fitting and makeup test for an upcoming role ,they have a few different ideas but want to have it sorted asap the costume and props are going to take a while to be ordered and made" he explained shrugging lightly, you deflated slightly it meant soon you wont be able to see him, he would be away filming and promoting and youd be on your own.

"Oh.. that sounds fun tho, are you looking forward to it?" You asked trying to bite down your dissappointment he turned to you smileing wide

"Yes its a role i never thought id get when i auditioned but im really excited for it i cant wait to start filming" he said enthusiasticly you nodded but kept quiet as you kicked the ball kal had brought back. He slowed down and binned your now empty coffee cups then took a long look at you sighing before pulling you around to face him.

"Hey dont worry i'll call you everyday at the fitting and when I'm filming" he said stroking your hair out of your face with one hand an overly intimate gesture to anyone onlookers.

"You dont have to do that" you said trying to look anywhere but his face not wanting him to see how upset you were. You had no right to feel like this you hadn't even known him that long.

"But what if i want to?" He said before pulling you closer to him by your interlocked hands and joining free hands. Your gaze snapped to at that he continued knowing he now had your full attention.

"What if I say that I'm gonna miss you, miss talking to you everyday ,miss the way I can make you blush adorabley with just a look or miss holding your hands in mine ,that im going to find it hard leaving you behind here when I've only just gotten to know you." You were lost for words staring at him as he rubbed to back of his neck.

"That... didnt sound as cheesy in my head.. I just mean I really really like you, as soon as I leave here I cant wait for tomorrow to see you again. What I'm trying to say is that I really really like you" he admitted

"I like you too" the words left your mouth before you could stop them he looked up glowing at you. Quickly before his courage dissapeared he wound his large arms around your waist and pulled you against him leaning in for a kiss, you gasped as his lips met yours soft and gentle at first before tilting his head down more and deepening the kiss becoming more heated and desperate as you wrapped your arms around his neck pulling him closer as your tongues danced back and forth. Hearing a whining you both pulled back looking down at three impatient dogs waiting for the game of fetch to continue. You both laughed Henry kicked the ball without releasing you before leaning down again.

"You have no idea how much I've wanted to do that" he mumbled against your lips placeing chaste kisses on them as he spoke.

" and now I cant seem to stop"

"You think your the only one?" you giggled at him meeting his kisses half way

"Just so you know I expect this to be our greeting from now on love" he whispered lowly and squeezed your waist your tummy fluttered at that.

"Well i suppose thats an acceptable request" you murmured he gave you a mischievous smile.

"Who said anything about request? I'll greet my woman as I see fit" your laugh was cut short as he kissed you deeply again. Before pulling you around one arm slung around your waist as he guided you along the path against him.

"Your woman? you havent even bought me dinner?"

"Which i plan to rectify tonight?" He asked cheekily you nodded at him leaning your head against his chest feeling like the luckiest girl in the world as he looked at you lovingly leaning over kissing your head.

#henry cavill imagine #henry cavill x reader #henry cavill

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tired-af-p · 3 years

Text

Im going to do a brief update. I obviously cant include everything but if you have any questions to catch up my question box is open for anonymous as well.

So i was send from the goverment for inpatient treatment for anorexia in London last august. I was very resistant to treatment to begin with, had to be transfered to general for a few days because my kidneys were shutting down and they told me i was hours from dying. I was threaten multiple times with tube feeding but because i was compliant with supplements i manage to avoid it.

I was discharged 3 months later and i was in the most recovery focused mindset i ever been. I swore that ill never want to step foot into hospitals ever again. In my papers it said GP has to make all my treatment decisions and weigh me once a week but at no point i should know my weight.

And everything was great. Until my gastro issues (that i had for months) started to get progressively worse. I was in constant pain and nausea and somedays i wd wake up in the middle of the night throwing up food i ate hours ago. I was unofficially diagnosed with gastroparesis. My dietitian and instarted a trial and error diet. But since late January i started losing weight -not intentional-.

3 weeks ago i was rushed in the middle of the night to the a&e because i was crying from pain. Before i even arrive to the hospital i started vomiting. They gave me every pain killer that didnt help and they resorted to morphine. My potassium came back at 2.4 and i was admitted. I cried the whole admission. I hate hospitals. Three days later with constant potassium drips and my potassium was still at 2.9! They now call it ressistant. It can drop at any moment and it doesnt come back easily.

During my admission i became terrified to eat just in case ill be in pain or throw up. When i was discharged many family issues came up including my mom and sister being very cruel to me. I started to shut down. I was on full supplements because i couldnt tolarate food.

They assign me with a new therapist and a new psychiatrist so they had a lot of questions about my past and family and felt very overwhelmning. My therapist said at some point "thats a lot of abuse and trauma, i csn understand the ptsd diagnosis" and i was like but i havent even told you the events that caused it yet. I knew my childhood was bad but for some reason it hitted me like a bag of rocks. I shutted down completely and now i can barely tolerate my supplements

This wednesday my GP announced me that if i dont gain X by wednesday she will section me for involuntary feeding. It took me by surprise and im still in distress. Im nowhere near a critical weight, in fact im at a healthy weight. I feel like they set me up for a trap as although they gave me the option to turn things around the amount of weight she wants me to gain in a week is not only not obtainable but it could potentially be dangeous. Idk if im honest. Im very scared

#anorexia

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