#like i cant even express how much i love it

[dunmeshistash]

like every girl kui draws is pretty! every man she makes is good looking! I am in hell! A+ character design to be honest, somehow im attracted to like every character she draws even outside dungeon meshi

I LOVE how Ryoko Kui draws, her understanding of human and animals is very inspiring! Everything looks like they have so much love put into it, and it also feels like an "objective" view of what things look like if that makes sense?

Its stylized but it feels like a stylization grounded in reality rather than a stylization based on other stylizations. There's a subtlety to her designs that make them all look so unique, you can really see it in the race portraits.

I really admire how few lines she needs to make people look slightly or WILDLY different, and all so beautifully done you cant help but fall in love with them. One I keep looking at is "the physiques of the ninjas"

I love that she decided to represent varying body types too! that's not usually something people think about especially in anime-style designs, they usually make the differences be clothing and face-shape but there's so much more you can use to make a character special and unique I think it's really inspiring.

Dia and Namari are other characters I've beem noticing more nowadays too. How at first you might think they have the same body-type since they're both dwarf women.

But Dia is shorter and slightly more chubby than Namari, who is more muscular, not to mention the different face shape and how Dia is more feminine than Namari and tha'ts expressed both in their designs and mannerisms <3

I could gush about Kui's beautiful character design all day

#Ryoko Kui #Character Design #Dungeon Meshi #Ask #Anonymous #undergarments #partial nudity #dunmeshi thoughts

[stevie-petey]

hear me out, imagine if steve wasn't that much of a loser with girls. A blur where a girl kinda flirts with him at his job and bug would be like "i don't care...👀"

OH DELICIOUS REQUEST ANON

enjoy <3

"i gotta say, i love a man in uniform."

you drop the comic youd been reading onto the booth youre sitting at and watch the girl standing in front of steve, doing a horrible job of flirting with him. shes blonde, small and dainty looking, and you quirk your head as you watch her grab for steves arm.

steve, meanwhile, stares at her with wide and terrified eyes. "oh, uh. thanks, i guess? but what are you doing?"

"admiring the man in uniform," the girl giggles, now encasing her hand around steves upper bicep. she lets out a dramatic and far too fake gasp and giggles once more. "and hes a strong man at that."

"i mean, ive been working out." steve responds, his voice squeaky and uncertain as his heart drops. he knows hes said the wrong thing.

you narrow your eyes at his response.

the blonde girl leans across the counter, making sure to lean her chest close to steves face, and the poor boy is doing everything he can to keep his eyes focused on her face.

he can practically feel your eyes burning into the back of the girls head. he knows youre watching them and that he has maybe five seconds before you set fire to his car. steve clears his throat and tries to escape. "hey, uh. robin?"

his coworker opens the sliding windows and almost chokes on her spit when she sees the blonde girls boobs so close to steves face. "oh my god."

"yeah," he clears his throat again and motions over to the blonde. "robin, would you mind assisting this, uh. lovely customer while i go make sure the girl of my dreams doesnt murder me?"

"im not the girl of your dreams?" the blonde girl suddenly pulls away from steve with a sneer on her face.

"far from it, dude." robin snorts at her, now joining steve at the cash register. she takes a peek at where youre sitting and notices that youve been watching them the entire time, your expression stony and unamused. with a wince, robin pats steves back. "good luck, man."

"im so dead," steve drops his head in shame as he starts to walk over to you. he sees the annoyance on your face and you watch him approach with your arms crossed. he feels like hes walking towards a death sentence. when steve sits down at your booth, you lean back against your seat and stare at him. "have i ever told you how beautiful you are?"

"no."

"well, i should!" steves voice is higher than usual and he feels like hes about to die.

seeing that hes sufficiently terrified, you roll your sleeves up and bring steves hand to your upper arm, where your scar from almost two years ago resides. "feel that?"

steve stutters over his words. "you-uh. your scar? or, shit. no, your skin is so smooth? like, insanely smooth. smoothest skin ive ever had the honor of feeling-"

"no, silly," you look up at steve and bat your eyes at him. when his breath hitches and he risks a look at your lips, you smile. "i mean, ive been working out. cant you tell?"

steve practically tears himself away from you and you cant help but laugh at his misery. "you heard that?"

"oh yeah. real smooth, by the way." you roll your sleeves back down. "like my skin, apparently."

"im sorry, angel. she was scaring me and my brain short circuited." steve drops his head onto your shoulder, mourning his stupidity.

you bring a hand up to his hair and begin to play with it as you console him. you know he hadnt meant any harm, that he truly had responded to the blonde girl out of genuine stupidity and fear, which is only further proven by the way he melts against your body and wraps an arm around you. steve isnt even your boyfriend and yet here he is, soaking up your forgiveness as if his life depends on it.

the blonde girl looks over at the two of you and gives you a dirty look, which you smile at. you raise a hand and wave at her, smug, and she rolls her eyes and stomps away.

robin, meanwhile, gives you a thumbs up and shouts from across the room, "crisis averted, then?"

"i didnt die!" steve shouts back, face still buried in your neck.

"not yet, at least."

steve sighs. "yeah, tomorrow i'll probably say something worse."

"oh, you definitely will, honey."

#ask #anon #m speaks #come home blurb #m's writing #set in between seasons 2 and 3 ! #steve: im just a boy

[hihellomy]

SAHSRAU IDEA

WARNING:Religious themes, cult themes, semi existencisl crisis, Boothill leaks(backstory)

Now listen ever since Boothill leaks dropped of his backstory i hated the IPC, and then i went on to learn more about them and damn. If Sahsr were real theyd be dead by now.

Like i take my hatred seriously, i just started Topaz's quest and i was nitpicking the most humbling options and the ones that were most pessimistic towards IPC, i decided to not pull ANY IPC CHARACTER, Topaz, Aventurine, Jade, Im not pulling any of them, f the shield and f the treasure, and my love for Boothill is visible, hes the reason i redownloaded (i was still very much in the tutorial part) and kept the game this time, and while my saving could have been bigger(i got a bit greedy on standard pulls) their at 110 with no pity on both character and weapon banner, i am getting that mf

And thew self aware lenses the Astral express is debating, the IPC arent perfect, yes, but they have friends there, they DID help places, but their grace refused to have anything even remotely positive towards them, should they...cut off all ties? If it pleases their grace maybe, and they cant deny how valid your concerns are, they are bad people, they have disapointed their grace, in fact youd be happy if they got wiped wouldnt you? No, youd want them alive. To torture them, and then... For their last breath will serve as a suficient offering

The IPC meanwhile are sweating bullets, some of them are aware of how rotten they are, some genuanly believe they are good, Topaz unfortunatly falls into the second category, she and Numpy are reaching high and low for only the best treasure for your offerings, pleading, begging you to forgive their actions, and maybe you could, if she felt and never looked back, burning away what was left, Aventurine's hands better off being choped off, its vibrating from panic, hes pacing back and forth, chewing on his glowes, can he even leave if he wanted to? who would he turn to? what would he do then? He may have been blessed by Mama Fengu but you... You are anything else, he doesnt like the IPC either but he knows that if you could, youd travel back in time and give him the coldest responses, and death threats behind that beautiful, safe screen. Jade, Miss Jade, Powerful and in control Jade, knew she was the most screwed from the three, it was no secret, what she did to Aventurine, her slaves, they held their usual expressions but she knew they were smilling on the inside, awaiting your rescuse from her hands, she knows turning over a new lief wasnt an option, youd just laugh at the idea she could reddem what she did, all she can do is call Diamond and seek a solution, what else is there

Boothill, Ive never seen him happier, he cant wait for hes release, for you to come pick him up, get him a brand new gun, give him all those thingamagics to make him stronger, to better make you happy, you care so much about him, hes your favorite, he hopes youll be happy w ith his trial and still choose him, hell do his best there! Oh he can already hear and see it all when the prophecy comes true, for when that stupid, cage breaks.... The wedding bells... The little rascals.... He already has a few names planned! Isnt he so great?

#sahsrau #honkai star rail #hsr boothill #boothill x reader #boothill #the IPC #Sahsrau boothill #yandere hsr #yandere boothill

[hornedandwingedangel]

Raphael thoughts

I’ve been analyzing him a lot recently so here are some thoughts I have about my favorite cambion.

SFW

- tbh, I don’t think he’d be that bad in a relationship. He canonically says he cant resist helping you, he likes you. Maybe he almost respects you? In a way. Sure, he’d be toxic sometimes. But he even said he’d “make time for his favorite client”. He cares about you, I think he’d be pretty nice.

- For example, I think he’d buy you nice things. He has expensive taste and he’d want you to look good next to him. And ofc he’d love handing you a beautiful dress or necklace to see a smile on your face.

- he’s actually your biggest supporter. He genuinely wants you to succeed in the things you do. You can see from a conversation with Korilla.

- He reminds me so much of Ursula lol. Flamboyant, manipulative, condescending

- It’d take a while of being in a relationship with him for him to open up, but eventually he’d vent to you about his father and issues between them. I think in general, he’s not super open, but he is quite honest.

- an example of that honesty is that he tells you that the Orphic hammer is a good trade and he writes in his journal that he really believes it is. I think he genuine likes you and wants to help you (but not quite enough to let you get in the way of his plans)

- I don’t think you can “fix” him or calm his ambition down as much as you can with Astarion or Gale. But I think you can calm him down just enough for him to let himself express his human side around you more often.

- hugs! He would be suave and very nonchalant about letting you hug him, but he secretly LOVES holding you in his arms. Feeling you in his grasp. His own little mouse all to himself.

- LOTS of banter. Well, he likes your praise and attention all to himself. But he also likes some arguing. He finds you being opinionated and having stimulating intelectual conversations attractive.

NSFW

- This guy has serious anger issues. It’s not hard to piss him off. I think it’d be a lot of fun to rile him up sometimes. He’s cute when he’s angry. Ofc, this can lead to… “punishment” and such… “activities”

- now about him being a bottom and whatever. Here’s what I think based on other headcannons I’ve heard. 1) he wouldn’t rly bottom for you. he wouldn’t submit to anyone who wasn’t him (or on his level like Haarlep who is in Raphael’s form anyway). 2) he’s “bad” in bed bc he doesn’t have to do any work to be satisfied. Haarlep does all the work and they don’t have a romantic relationship aside from sex so there’s no real reason for him to put in any effort. But you can’t tell me after idk, hundreds of years? of having sex he doesn’t know how to fuck?

- he would never make you do anything you didn’t wanna do. When it comes to how you guys do the devils tango, I think these headcannons are totally up to you. But imo, he’s a dom on the aggressive side with teasing, humiliation, and condescending praise.

If you have any bc questions (ex: would he like ___?) pls comment :) I hope you like these hcs 🫶🏼

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 headcanons #bg3 raphael #raphael #raphael bg3 #raphael the cambion #mdni

[seongminiz]

okay… well i will dump some thoughts here but ofc as usual no pressure😓😓 and i hope u feel better soon<333

i was having a LOT of thoughts but i’ll try to keep this message more concise at least.

1. i love matthew’s voice, when he sings it kinda like cracks a little sometimes? like in a cute sexy way i feel like his moans/whines would be just… the sexiest ever omg i wanna hear him so bad

2. and then also just like, jiwoong edging you at the country club but sorry like not edging but like teasing you? idk just like keeping you guessing if he has any interest or taking it a step further and like getting progressively more touchy with you the more he loses control but never gives you want you want fully, will put his hand in the small of your back when he’s showing you something, leaning in towards your shoulder, close enough you can feel his breath on ur neck (he would smell like whatever the most expensive, masculine, yet subtle fragrance would be) and maybe even when you get more bold, you’d get him alone, in his office or smth sitting on his desk while he’s in his chair, leaning towards him so your breasts begin to spill from your active tank top a bit😣 squishing your thighs together while you ask him to leave early on friday to go hang with your friends, “please jiwoong?” and your pout is so irresistible but he knows as soon as he gives you what you want, you’ll become uninterested.. you’re so spoiled after all, he knows you want him only because you can’t/shouldn’t have him. maybe he’d slide his hand along your knee to the hem of your skirt and you’d shiver immediately because you swear this is the most he’s touched you. ever. and he’d experimentally lift the edge of your skirt to push his fingertips a little further, sinking them into your soft flesh only slightly, but he can’t go any further he knows he’ll lose control, he looks up at you, moving that hand on your thigh to your chin, lightly holding your jaw, tilting your flushed cheeks to meet his eyeline “hmm,” he’d hum and tilt his head, your lips parting, so flustered, praying he’ll lean in and kiss you, your eyes are fluttering closed, but he lets go and says “yeah, you’ve been a good girl lately, you can go, that’s fine” and would push his chair back, standing up, you’d be face to face with his abdomen, watching the way his tight white dress shirt pulls against his firm body, gulping audibly. “run along.” he tsks when you don’t move, so you jump off his desk and scamper away.

yeah. i did not keep that shit concise.

- 🧁 anon

omg this is so long .... /pos i'll try to write answer without frying my brain halfway through it 🙏🏻🙏🏻

1. yesssss omg matthew whiny moans :(( n ngl i just think he would be soooo vocal in bed i feel crazy

2. i.... i genuinely have no words to express how this made me feel . U R INSANE . n like atp thats a whole fic damn‼️

[somehow switched to semi-proper grammar/writing halfway through this oops so like ,, ofc not proof read who do u take me for warnings ? pool sex , semi-public sex , dry (wet ? they r in the water idfk) humping , unprotected sex :3 kinda switch/subby leaning!matt , finger sucking]

but yeah he'd be such a tease :( at the end of the day hes just giving back the same energy u always give him , but since u r sooo used to getting whatever/whoever u want with no effort it pisses u off sooo much .. which unfortunately also just makes u want him more ,, n get even worse with ur own teasing :3 wearing shorter skirts n more revealing clothes everyday until jiwoong has to avoid u or he'll get hard on the spot just by seeing u ....

+ to bring back lifeguard!matthew in this mattwoong sandwich summer special country club insanity , the more jiwoong avoids u the more it makes u want to act out , the riskier the places u have sex with matthew become . he doesn't even mind that ur using him, as i said in the other post , getting to fuck u before his boss gives him a massive ego boost .

n im just saying , he rlly cant be blamed when he steals the keys to the pool just so u two can sneak in after closing hours .

'just to swim without all the other people around' he says , helping you out of your clothes between one kiss and the other . you both try to be quiet , not knowing if or when a security guard might come by and catch you, but it's hard when basically everything makes you giggle like two teenagers on their first date - and honestly, matthew would like to think of this as almost a date .... bless his heart , he's convinced at some point you're going to catch feelings for him like he did for you :')

matthew gets in the water as silently as he can, and before you can figure out how to do the same - half sitting on the edge of the pool, half trying to slowly push yourself into it - he grabs your waist and lifts you almost effortlessly before lowering u into the water with him (all that free time spent at the gym rlly paid off , didn't it)

you don't have much time to react before matthew kisses you, caging you with his arms against the pool wall (? is that what its called hwlp i hate the english language) and it turns into a heated makeout session pretty quickly , with only the thin fabric of your swimsuits separating u two ,, he'd get so whiny and sensitive just by grinding against your clothed cunt to the point you have to pull down his swim trunks for him or he'll just cum without even getting to fuck you properly :') he's so needy , doesn't even bother taking off your swim bottoms n just pulls them to the side , moaning so loudly as he sinks into you that you both kind of panic thinking you're going to get caught . when you're sure the coast is clear , matthew starts fucking you and he just gets so whiny and can't keep quiet , he has to bury his face into ur neck n bite all over it n your shoulders just to stop himself for moaning out loud again ,, idk , shut him up with your fingers in his mouth , that might be more efficient (n will get him to cum quicker)

n if jiwoong happens to walk by for some reason and catch you ,, just put on a show for him , he might be a little more lenient with your punishment if u do :3

#🍰 seongminiz ! #🥯 jebewon ! #💭 . 🧁 anon ! #🥪 mattwoong sandwich #will i ever stfu abt switch/subby matthew ? (no) #zb1 hard thoughts #zb1 hard hours #zerobaseone hard hours #zerobaseone hard thoughts #zb1 smut #zerobaseone smut

[roe-and-memory]

lightning and his struggle with emotions save me….

those feelings of inadequacy that suffocate his every thought, that fear that if he messes up — acts in a way that nobody wants him to — then he’ll lose everything.. and how, for a little while, all those feelings carry over to radiator springs (maybe they even stick around for the rest of his life)

i cant see lightning as much of a crier, he doesnt seem like the type to want to express those emotions, especially in front of people, and thinking about this concept in the context of radiator springs is sooo…

hes finally got those people that love him and hes so terrified that if he makes one wrong move, says one wrong word, then they’ll kick him to the curb and he’ll be alone again that he just. Stiffles. these feelings.

for a while no one really notices, but flo is the first one to realize she’s never seen him in any negative mood aside from anger like.. ever? she tries to brush it off, make an excuse in her mind for him, but the more she tries to neglect it the more obvious it becomes that he’s purposely hiding his feelings from them and she cant figure out, for the life of her, why. she mentions it to doc, asks him quietly if hes ever seen or heard lightning cry, and the silent pondering from the man is enough to tell her that he Hasnt.

she doesnt wanna be nosy, but shes so concerned because she KNOWS there has to have been something thats upset him in his time here, he just hasnt expressed it to anyone…

but imagine her shock, three months into lightnings life in the town, he comes into the cafe on the brink of tears with scraped shins, blood staining his now torn jeans, and a glimmer of fear in his eyes.

he apologizes to her, sits down in a booth — seemingly not realizing hes wiping blood everywhere — and buries his face in his crossed arms that are resting on the tabletop. its the first time flo has seen him look this scared, and it brings up those thoughts of how long he’s been hiding these emotions from everyone. she watches from behind the counter, a half dried bowl in her hand as she finally catches the slight trembling of his shoulders and her heart just Breaks.

lightning had nowhere else to go for this — docs clinic was closed and doc himself was at home, sally was at home, Everyone was at Home — so the best idea he could come up with was hiding at flos in an attempt to get away from everyone else because when the string of events that went wrong occurred, he Knew then it was that final straw that was gonna rip the carpet out from underneath him and bring him to exhausted, overstimulated tears.

i think at some point flo stops what shes doing, studies the empty cafe, and abandons her dishes to sit down at the table with him. she scooches into the booth beside him and rubs gentle circles on his back like a mom would, and, unbeknownst to her, that just makes him sob harder.

part of her is happy that hes feeling this, but oh Boy, that mom part of her is genuinely heartbroken for him. she doesnt know what happened but she can safely assume hes in pain and startled, and she knows shes willing to sit here for as long as she needs to make sure he feels safe and comfortable again, even if it means keeping these tears a secret from people like doc and sally at lightnings request.

#cars 2006 #cars fandom #lightning mcqueen #pixar cars #cars headcanons #memory’s headcanons #cars 3 (2017) #doc hudson #sally carrera #flo cars #cars writing #2 posts in one night is crazy #who is this #i miss lightning soo bad #thinking about how i can ruin his life with pain and heartbreak #love that stupid little idiot

[jacarandaaaas]

we need to talk about how powerful the “waiting on a miracle” instrumental is. The song is already incredible but it’s so rare for me to actually enjoy listening to just the instrumental! The bambuco rhythm, the waltz time THE CLAPS, THE BUILD, THE MUSIC SWELL TOWARDS THE END, THE PAUSE BEFORE THE DRUMS AND THEN THE LAST SAD NOTES AHHHHHHH!?!37/72!,!(!!. Mirabels so lucky because not only does she have one of the best “i want songs” but it sounds just as insane without her gorgeous voice💘 like the encanto instrumentals in general are insane I need to make a whole post about the wecid one!

#encanto #encanto disney #disneys encanto #mirabel madrigal #mirabel encanto #waiting on a miracle #also it’s weirdly soothing too #like i cant even express how much i love it #germaine franco u are insane #i listened to this while studying and that’s how I got into college #thanks encanto love u #encanto songs #encanto song discussion

[moeblob]

Deacon loves two things: Ymber and digging himself a grave.

Fulj hates one thing: Deacon.

#my characters #waiting on some info on the next commission so i indulged in ocs today bc i doubt i will have as much time for lil comics for a bit #deacon is so devoted hes like yeah i would kill for a deity that could easily kill anything himself but yknow teehee #and fulj just did you tell him you needed therapy also does he even know youd murder in his name #deacon caught red handed haha no of course i havent told him it should be obvious enough haha.... and its in his defense not his name :c #man really does have some issues but i love him so much and hes so devoted but like. unhealthily after a while #he does in fact need a chill pill and therapy but to be fair #ymber has needed therapy for centuries and yet he just bottles it all up and suffers so #its pretty unhealthy until they yell at each other one (1) time bc they are so insecure about things and get mad over very valid reasons #but then theyre like you know what that was necessary and i still want to stay by your side if you let me #and then fulj is like dude hey sorry you seem really happy did you fu- and ymber is like no please stop there we have not #fulj just squinting cause have not is very different than will not but whatever she doesnt wanna think about that with deacon involved ew #and eventually fulj is like hey ymber im sorry to say but i really do hate deacon and i dont even know why but he makes me uncomfortable #while deacon is just. in the room. hearing this and thinking how he knows she thinks hes weird but wow that wording hurts #and ymber doesnt wanna fill in memories better forgotten by fulj which she had forcefully removed #so he just says oh well his hair and clothing are black and you had someone in the past that you might see in him and its not a pleasant en #so you know maybe its that idk #and fulj is then WHATST i was rude to him for someone i cant even remember? lame im gonna try SO HARD to be nice to him now #and deacon just still sitting there with some food like this is v awkward and i wish i could not be here for it #and later he asks ymber about who he resembled and as ymber is descibing her it clicks in deacons head and he gets really sad #that he might somehow remind fulj of the woman she loved before she was punished for loving a mortal #and he feels kinda bad pestering her so much with his curiosities about deities and he kinda gets it #the fact hes close to ymber might remind her at the core that she was once that close with a mortal if not closer #anyway story time in the tags again #im so obsessed with these peeps and i have made them suffer so much but they do all end on a happy note #its still funny and nice to me that while fulj is creeped out by deacon and doesnt like talking to him #he still expresses the most emotions to her - he tries hard to remain serious around ymber and collected and obedient at all times #and when out and about with ymber he has to be intimidating and refuses smiling but fulj?? all sunshine and smiles and emotions easy to rea #and she is just that is so weird go away i hate you

[mizukiko-kun]

"How did you know you'd be bulletproof?" "I didn't. I just knew that you weren't." SCREAMING CRYING AND EATING MY PILLOW

#THAT WAS SO SWEET WHAT THE HELL #WHO WROTE THIS????? I WANT YOU TO HAVE MY MONEY!!!!! #i CANT stop thinking about how naturally his response comes out. it's like he doesn't have to think or look for the words or anything #he's like. the things he does can make someone go 'awww he's so thoughtful' but actually he doesn't even have to think to do it #it's in his nature. he doesn't have to make himself do it he just does it #i love this boy so much. his parents raised him so well #(also his expression when lois is asking him... and then after he answers... i want him to receive a hug) #my adventures with superman #maws

[hwaitham]

#𓈒 ۫ 𝓹𝓾𝓹𝓹𝓲𝓮 𐂯 𝓹𝓻𝓪𝓽𝓽𝓵𝓮𝓼 ₊⠀ೀ #what do u mean al haitham isnt real what do u mean i cant hold him in my arms what do u mean he is a thousand universes out of reach #guys . . . 🥺 u’re so sick of me saying it i know i knowwww i Know ! and im Sorrie but like ! ! #Whaaaaat the frick ! ! #why do i hold so much love for this littl man in my phone #why do i love him so so so so much more than anything ever #why do i so badly wish when i die he is there waiting for me at the pearly gates so we cn be together forever n ever n ever n ever n eve #n none of these tags even express how awfully i love him ! ! i want to say it but i do not know how . #jus . Siiiiiigh ! ! 🥺 his bones n blood n flesh n sinews that hold him together arent enough i want More . #alive or dead i want him i want to hold his body even if after a thousand years his bones have chafed off into dust #time holds no meaning for what he is to me i want to experience him Forever ! ! ! #sorrie . . Sorrieee ! ! trying to write this fic n tearing up every other sentence this is Crazy ! ! #this love is a disease but i do not want to be cured . . .

[snakeguy999]

i gotta tell you more abt my ocs sometime. smiles widely

Ooo la la...what did i do to deserve such an honour?

#i cant help but admire how much passion and joy and love and devotion each one of your pieces encapsulates #hard to express but you can really feel the movement the joy of each line each colour #how each piece has a rich attention to aesthetics and details and aaaaarghhhh im repeating myself #you never cease to inspire me boss o7 #its so intimidating to see a person with all their characters so defined and even organised in a toyhouse for me personally..... #like this great monolith which you can never see the entirety of #so id be greatly honoured to hear about your ocs over a whiteboard if you delight me #tucks hair behind ear #teheee

[brightokyolights]

.

#omfg i feel so completely melodramatic for typing this out rn but i have so many feelings and i need to get them out!!! DX #anyways so since just before the sunshine court came out i have yet again gone down an aftg rabbit hole #and what im here to specifically cry about is kevin #when i first read aftg my opinions on the characters were so different to what they were now #i cant completely remember how i felt about kevin. part of me thinks i felt that he was treated way too harshly by the others considering #the trauma he went through but part of me thinks maybe? i didnt care too much for him back then because i was taking the book at face value #and just going with how neil viewed him which is that hes The Best at exy but sort of annoying and harsh and needs to stick for himself more #idk idk but as of recent ive just been having a lot of emotions thinking about him. and especially wymack and him. #like he was just robbed of so much. and hes honestly so brave despite what people may think? hes soso flawed but thats what makes me love #him even more. he's just trying. so hard. to undo everything thats been engrained in him. and i just wanna cry and cry and cry!!! #because hes come so far! and hes amazing. and i wish i could properly express everything thats running through my mind rn but thats all i #got. back to reading fic centering kevin and wymack now 😭 #le text post

[bunnihearted]

❄️🐇❕

#i feel like im going insane and tonight it's esp bad so i need to.... vent :$ #some time ago i had the fortune of a very very wonderful person entering my life. and since day one BOOM i think of them every single day #im not even exaggerating.. like every single day i just think and daydream of them. i've had sm extra inabiloty to focus - #bc i just need to constantly stop and think of them..... #there is so much abt them to adore and admire. so much!!!! i didnt know someone like them could exist.. #i love talking to them and i just wanna kno everything there is to know abt them!!! everything regarding interests me #there's also the aspect of how i feel talking to them. i know they dont judge the same way as other ppl do so it's easier to talk to them #tho i still have avpd so i often start over explaining myself and get insecure etc etc. i need to get out of my head!!!! #idk.. idk... it has never been like this for me. so im also scared #what do i do.. how do i navigate this? i've never been here before and i feel lost even if it's def not a bad place to be in #every single day... i just wish that i could be with them more and more. this wish never calms down it just gets bigger #but. how? how do i break this loop and make it into reality? is it only gonna stay as a desire and a daydream? :(( i rlly dont want that #im scared too. bc what if i want and can make it my reality but it just wont happen? what if it just wont #im also not the only one in this equation that decides. what if... i have to face rejection.. what if im a disappointment. what if what if #i dont know!! i only know that i think of them all day every day. it gets more nd more intense each day. #i also get more sure that it's what i want... #anywayyyy. im actually.. driving myself insane with how obsessively i think of this #i cant quite put it into words but i had to get at least some of it off my chest #like how. do i express my feelings to them. how do i turn it into reality. how do i face that fear of the unknown and smth i've never done #but also how do i face that fear and prepare for the fact that even if i want smth dreams made into reality cant be certain. #there r so many life things that decide what happens too.... not just my will and desire #but as well as.. how do i prqepare myself to deal with the potential oh whoops maybe im the only one who rlly want this. #maybe this is onesided maybe my feelings just flew out of control nd idk how to reel them back in whoops. #like i dont know at all what could happen.. all i know is what i wish.. hmm gosh this is all just making my head spin every day.

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#so i survived my 1st week as a phd student. it's interesting. im not sure how i feel #the negatives are that i forgot how much stress being around people causes me. as a research assistant i was able to be on my own schedule #and go into the lab at odd hours so i never had to see anyone. but now im in classes and teaching and have a shared office #classes are tolerable stress wise so long as im sitting on an edge. i only feel a lil like im dying. teaching makes nauseous beforehand. #which is odd bc im not really worried while im doing it or before im doing it. i thibk its just that i have to interact ans i kno im a #mediocre teacher bc id rather die than do the back and forth of asking questions and u should teach interactively #i like to break down complex idea and help people with problems but i was not build to teach in classrooms. i get knocked off points when #i give class presentations bc i cant make eye contact lol. so that'll b annoying this semester. and its just so hard to function in an #office space. idk its weird like i dont even feel it that much while im there its just like a flashing *i need to leave* alarm. and then #when im alone its like a physical weight off of me. and i cant tell if thats what's draining my energy or if ive just cycled into a low #energy lul bc im just like. i wanna sleep. and for me thats always a sign that somethings wrong. i dont feel that bad mood wise but its #like there's a rock weighing me down as im trying to tread water. so those r the big negatives. the positives r that #i do enjoy being back in school. i love the structure of it. but im also self destructive abt structure so well see how it goes. but my #lab mates seem nice as does my advisor. i feel a bit bad bc ill have to learn genome stuff from the ground up. and today i was trying to #convey ideas to him like an insane person. bc i dont have enough background to talk fluidly abt my prospective project and i have a picture #of what i mean but not all the details. hopefully i made some sense. i think the idea is cool. and thats the other really positive thing. #the papers i have to read associated with this project r waaaaaaaaaay more interesting than anything i ever had to read for my masters. like #they're the types of papers i would force other ppl to read for lab meetings. so im optimistic abt not hating it by the end haha #yay for being excited abt science. but i guess thats the other thing i feel bad abt. like im interested but haven't read a lot to prep bc #i cant express how difficult dyslexia makes things but also i cant control how interested in things i get so i bassically banned myself #from reading papers im actually interested in like 3 years ago bc in retrospect i was prob going thru a hypomanic episode #and i was like reading papers abt microbes in Antarctica all day and not working on my stuff. and i just remember walking into the lab at #like 5am to trasfer alage with tears streaming down my face bc i was just like. i cant have this nice thing and b functional. it has to stop #so i just created this weird barrier in my mind where im not allowed to read fun papers. so its odd to b reading them now for work. its odd #also i was walking to my office worring abt things and then i saw some moss growinf around the edge of the sidewalk and it made me wanna cry #bc i am an extremely normal individual. i have normal feelings abt photosynthesis. but anyway yeah. its been interesting #hopefully ill stay optimistic. next week we have a orientation for new grad students. and i might have to drive like an hr away. hate that #the driving i mean. not the orientation. that should b fun #unrelated

[im-a-freaking-joy]

Im really tempted to follow the therian tag on youtube just so I can comment on these poor kids's videos something kind and let them know that if they arent hurting anybody they can do whatever they want forever

#do I. fully understand it? #not at all #but the amount of outright hate these poor kids get #so i think they should be making youtube shirts or tiktoks when it looks like theyre like 11 or 12? also no #but they need support to some degree #they need to hear that some people dont understand but dont hate either #because these kids are just having fun and expressing themselves #its honestly pretty relateable in an odd way #like as a neurodivergent kid i did all sorts of “weird” or “cringe” things that i WISH somebody saw and just went #i dont really get what this is #but im glad youre happy! #it would have literally helped me avoid so much pain and depression #the amount of small kids? critters? idk how they like to be reffered to #like i said i dont really understand it #who have pinned my comments or done the youtube love thing? #because they only have like 10 comments but theyre 90% outright hate and bullying? #i think people on the internet should relearn that if you cant say anything nice dont say anything at all #plus i get to reccomend these critters/kids look at maia arson crimew! #i get to let them know that even though im not a therian there are big important powerful people out there like maia who are! #who have a whole group of people who admire and support them! #anyway the tldr of this is i may have adopted a community of weird youtube kids even though i dont really understand their interest #and i feel like the old grandpa you run imto at the library about it if that makes sense

[guideaus]

theyre the characters of all time. no couple can beat them

#personal #even **** likes them #this wouldve been cute to see after trigun. pretend vash has a wife and is doing shenanigans not in a performative way #also obsessed w him being wrong here #theyre always wrong but w like perfect luck so theyre good. nothing ever bad happens except when it does but theyre fine #god i just still cant express how much i loved that one ep #miria's scream was an instant serotonin boost and filled me w pure delight #there is NO reason for them to be in these scenes and then they are. and i loved it #UGH #i should totally rewatch when i really forget the show. maybe i can forget when they show up #theyre so good #baccano