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#like how does it feel to know yr not able to start any kind of HRT or have any kind of gender affirming surgeries or even
gurorori · 1 year
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how i wake up knowin lgbt ppl have lost all the specks of rights we've ever had in this country & no one will ever talk abt our issues other than ourselves cuz we r worthless in the eyes of current world
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serendihoope · 5 months
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Dirty Fantasy|JJK Twoshot
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★Summary:You secretly loves your brother's bestfriend who is perfect in all aspects but what if he caught you that you fantasize about him and made a smut journal about him?what will happen afterthat?Will he expose you to the world or will except you as you are?
★Warning:Angst,Fluff,Age gap(5 yrs),smut(not so detailing but yeah will feed your horny ass),Spanking,cursing,oc have wild imagination lol,heartbroken story
★Word count:1.6K
★A/N:Hii pepsss, Sry for the inconvenience.. I was sick last week and Couldn't able to write the oneshot i have promised to publish.Here is the oneshot and give your precious love to this..(I wont tolerate any kind of hate cmnts or annoying childish things).I will upload the next part but if it gets 20+ likes..please show your love:)
"Bro,the way you goaled the  football in goalpost is fucking majestic"." I know Hanjoon".Jungkook smirked."Your photography and video shooting skill is also incredible hanjoon"."I know right.Afterall whose bestfriend I am".
They started to laugh and here my legs are hurting by sitting like this.Well,if its about my crush then i can stare at him in any situation. Wait waittt Hanjoon is coming.I have to go but unfortunately my leg get tripped into the coffe table.
"Ouchhh!,aishhhhh why it need to be done with me!!"
"Y/N why are sitting in the corridor like in a awkward situation?" "I am not sitting in the corridor Hanjoon!I get tripped into the Coffe table. Dont ask questions and help me to get up you asshole". " I am not gonna help you potato.Get up on your own." Hanjoon rolled his eyes. "Whats going on Hanjoon?" As Jungkook said this to Hanjoon then our eyes met.That deep brown doe eyes, I would love to get drown into it."Hey,Y/N are you okay".You snapped back into the reality and hesitantly said"I-I am fine Jungkook".You tried to get up but your legs get slipped again and this time fortunately Jungkook's veiny muscle hand securely catched your waist."Cool down sweetheart." Your heart get fluttered by this mere nickname. "You guys done huh?Jungkook lets go living room.Mom is making delicious cakes.Do you want to join us Y/N or you are gonna study in your room nerdy". Y/N angrily pushed her glasses to the lower bridge of her nose," No.You can eat all of those cakes,You asshole".and you hurried to your bedroom.
His veiny muscular hands i can still feel it on my waist,the way he had hold me in his embracee.OH NO I WILL DIE OUT OF DELICACY!!! His that three words and that doe eyes.Ethereal.How his eyes will look towards me when he will fuck me the shit out of me,how his mouth will work on my lips,necks and my cunt...
As i was deep in my thought and suddenly a message popped in my phone screen.Who is gonna message me.I take my phone and see the notification and my heartbeat increased.Jungkook messaged me!?
Jungkook:
Do you get hurt in the legs?]
Do you have take medicine?]
Are you sleeping sweetie?]
Me:
Umm.. I am fine jungkook.it just get a little sprinting. You dont have to worry^.^
I was preparing the bed to go to sleep.]
Jungkook:
What if i say that i would love to worry about you sweetie?:)]
Me:
Arghhhhh!Dont make me flustered Jungkookkkk!!!]
Jungkook:
You can be flustered huh?:>]
You seem really talkative in chat then why dont you talk in real life?]
Me:
Its just that no one talks with me,approches to me.I get used to this things so if anyone talk with me..my reaction is like-oh wow someone is trying to talk with me then why i will be shut my mouth but i cant really talk in real life..hehe.. I am trying:)
Anyways change the topic.. ]
Jungkook:
Umm okk..then lets meet tomorrow after college at college gym..ok?]
Me:
Umm whyy??you can tell now.]
Jungkook :
No whyss.I will tell tomorrow. Now sleep.Goodnight sweetheart :3]
Me:
Um..goodnight Jungkook.. Sleep tight:>]
College Gym-
Jungkook was practicing football and then i entered the gym.Jungkook noticed me and said,"Glad,you came.I thought you will ditch me." "Nah,actually Mr.choi have called to me.thats why i came here a bit late.Sorry for that." "Ok ok..so i called you for a reason.that is, you are participating in the dance competition right?" "Um..yes..everyone is participating and its also a part of cultural assignment. But why are you asking?" "Do you have select who will you dance with?As far as i know for this competition you have to pair with your senior,right?" Y/N nodded. "So i was thinking that what about we both pair up?" "Are you pitying upon me?cause no one is pairing with me?" Y/N sadly chuckled."So you are rejcting me Han Y/N?" Y/N gulped,how could she reject her crush?who is willingly want to pair with you?Come one Y/N dont listen your foolish guts.Her guts are saying to reject his proposal cause simply he is pitying her cause no one want to dance with such a not so pretty nerd and also she hate when people pity over her but is Jungkook really pitying Over her or trying to be friends with her,helping her,communicate with her?So many questions are lingering in her head but suddenly Jungkook said,"So,I will take this silence as a yes."
Y/N gulped the heavy lump in her thorat you titled her head as a yes.
"So lets start it.our song will be You and Me and our dance will be like that mv but we wilk give our own chemistry,own spice okay?"
Yn nodded her head and started to think that the last part of the dance would be like as the mv..oh myyy..me and Jungkook will dance this much close? "Y/N what are you thinking?" Y/N titled her head as a no.
"Yeah,like that.we have to do this so smoothly that people will get crazy and judges will be shocked.You dont have to stiff your hand.Be relax Y/N.Move your waist sidewards to match with me.Understand?"
I nodded to his word and said "Thanks for pairing with me". Jungkook smiled and his bunny teeth get showed.
Awww,hisss smileeee.
It was my dream that i will listen my favourite song with my crush,Jungkook.
" Your music taste is amazing,I love how artistry your music taste is!".I cheekily smiled and thanked him.Suddenly, in front of me a kid was trying to cross the road but there a motorcycle is coming towards her with full speed.OH MY! I have to save her.I abandoned Jungkook and quickly run towards her and throw my arms around her body and I take her away from the road.We both fall down on the footpath."Y/N!are you okay?" "I am okay Jungkook, binnie are you okay?Are you hurt somewhere?Its risky to cross the road like this.Where are your mom binnie?" "I am okay unnie.I am sorry.Actually, I have came to the shop to buy chocolate but ended u-
" Ok, ok you dont have to explain me.I will reach you to your mom.Your mom is worrying about you right"
The child nodded and they reached her to her mother.
"You are really kind Y/N". Y/N blushed and thanked him.Jungkook notice a cut in her hand, " Wait,there is a cut in your hand.It need to be cleaned nir it will get infected.I have spare bandages. Lets sit in that bench." As Jungkook is cleaning her hand,Y/N admiringly looked at him and thought how caring he is."Ah,finished." "Thank you Jungkook." Jungkook squished her cheeks and said,"You dont have to thank me sweetheart and you know what your cheeks are reallyy squishyyy,awwwww." Jungkook cooed at her and Y/N giggled.
Its normal that Jungkook is angry because for the first time he got defeated by his enemies in football.He is trying to calm his angerness in front of me but i am unintentionally fuelling his anger by doing wrong dance steps.
" Its not like this Y/N,dont you practice by own after our practice?" "I do but -
" Oh,here you are Y/N.I was searching you in the whole campus.Mr.choi wants to meet you." Irene said."Right now?" Irene nodded.You looked at Jungkook who also gives you permission to go.As you are going suddenly Jungkook called you from behind,"Y/N!Where is the props?" "Its in my bag,I also brought your one." Jungkook nodded and went again to the GYM.
"Ahhh,he can tell me this later.It was about the upcoming olym-
"WHAT IS THIS Y/N!?" Jungkook angrily shouted.The sudden shout made Y/N flinched and what made her eyes go wide was Jungkook is holding your journal book that is your secret smut journal Where you wrote your erotic,emotional thought about Jungkook."I-I, Jungkook-
"What Jungkook Y/N!what the actual fuck you wrote about mee.Shame on you!You are also one of those girls who are dick suckers right?" Y/N is bawling her eyes out and denying his every word."You want me to kiss you hard and teach you a lesson right than here your lesson-
In a swift of a moment he smashed his lips over her,kissing her messily but there are no love,no softness,no caring Only Rage. He is kissing her hard thats why she felt her own blood in her lips. Afterwards,he finally break the kiss and look at her with disgust.He hold her hand and take her to the mirror.Her back is tightly glued to his build up chest and her hand is tightly tugged behind her back,which make her hiss.She cant utter a single word because of his actions,she is totally shocked."I bet you are a virgin right and you want to lose your virginity to me that you can say it to other people that you lose your virginity to me. Nah?If you really want to lose your virginity go to the sex club and lose your virginity to those hungry men who are waiting for you.I dont fuck virgin pussy.Got it?".Thats way he left you in devastated state.
A week have passed but his words are still glued in your head.You two didnt approached each other nor do the dance practice together.It still feels like he is not sorry about his harsh words.
You have made a big decision that you will lose your virginity and it will be in sex club.
You are standing in front of the biggest sex club that is located behind a sea beach, there is many cars in parking slot like Lamborghini, Mercedes.
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gentle-traditionalism · 9 months
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hello lovely, hope you’re having a nice day! do u have any tips for girls who are on the younger side (like 17 yrs old) who wanna be trad? I’ve been trying to look more into feminine living n etiquette rules and stuff, any stuff I should enhance further or do as well?
Hello! I have been having a lovely day, thank you. I do have a lot of advice that I’d give to younger trad girls, but I should clarify that to me, being trad is largely about values and goals - such as loving God, being feminine, and raising a strong, honourable family - rather than aesthetic, so my advice might lean more towards trad lifestyle tips rather than say, glow-up tips (though I do have a few of those) Here are some of my tips:
Put God first in your life. Read the Bible and pray daily, and always remember God’s love. Find a church that doesn’t sugar-coat things, but also isn’t all doom and gloom. Neither are beneficial for your long-term spiritual growth.
Make sure to love and take care of yourself. This doesn’t mean that you should be self-obsessed or vain, but it’s so important to treat yourself kindly. If you don’t love yourself you are likely to put up with other people mistreating you because you think you don’t deserve better, and you absolutely do.
Since tradblr has a major focus on being a wife, I’d give this advice; don’t stress about finding your husband right now. I know how annoying this can be to hear, but seventeen is very young. While I still feel much the same as I did when I was seventeen, I have had so many more experiences and grown as a person since then. As much as I wish I was married now, I’m still very glad that I didn’t marry when I was a teenager/very young adult, because I would have many regrets. If you already have a boyfriend who you want to marry someday, keep this in mind; don’t make any serious relationship decisions until you see how he acts around/treats his family. If you marry him, you’ll be his family and he’ll treat you the same way. On the same note, don’t make any commitments until you see him angry. This doesn’t mean that you should purposefully make him angry (please don’t do that) but you want to see how he controls his temper. At the end of the day, it really is best to wait until you are both older to make any commitments, especially since men tend to mature slower than women (please note; this does not mean you should seek out older men! Keep yourself safe). With that being said, you can absolutely plan and prepare for when you are older! So on that note...
Get a hope chest! It doesn’t have to be a fancy antique one; it could just be any old storage bucket. If you do have an antique one, make sure to inspect the latch - you don’t want one that could lock a child or anyone else inside. Fill it with things you want to fill your future home with, or things for your future children. This can help motivate you if you ever feel frustrated with waiting.
Eat healthy. There are hundreds of different diets out there, but eating doesn’t have to be anything complicated; just eat real food with real ingredients, and make sure you eat enough fruits, vegetables, and get lots of meat/protein. This is a good opportunity to practice cooking as well!
Save up as much money as you can. You’re more likely to be living at home now, so save while you don’t have as many bills to pay.
Don’t curse. Cursing makes you seem less intelligent, and it’s often mean-spirited. Swearing is also just not ladylike.
Practice cooking, baking, cleaning, learn an instrument (piano or violin are especially nice in my opinion) mending, knitting, decorating...any kind of traditionally feminine skill you are interested in, start practicing now. You want to start living your future dream life now as much as possible. Not only do you have more time to gain skills before you need them, but you also are able to determine if it’s really what you want or if you need to adjust your goals.
As for some beauty tips:
- Hair: Give yourself scalp massages, get a natural hairbrush (wood, boar bristle, etc) and brush your hair for 100 strokes every night, and then braid it or put it in a protective hairstyle before sleeping. Satin or silk pillowcases are also excellent. Do a hair mask once a week.
- Skin: Instead of focusing on covering up blemishes with makeup, focus on taking care of your skin! Drink lots of water, avoid touching your face, wash your face twice a day, and use a good moisturizer. Find out your skin type to figure out the best way to care for your skin.
- Teeth: Try oil pulling! It helps so much. Brush at least twice a day (not immediately after eating, though, as it can damage your enamel) and don’t brush too hard; you don’t want to damage your gums.
I’d also recommend finding a nice perfume/fragrance! I’ve avoided this until recently, as I’m very sensitive to fragrances and always got headaches. But I found that in my case, higher-quality perfumes don’t bother me, and so I’ve been wearing my signature perfume daily. Find a signature scent - for me, it’s peony. It makes you instantly recognizable when you walk into a room. You don’t want to wear too much of it, but having a nice perfume just makes me feel more feminine and happy, and I’ve been getting many compliments.
There’s more to be said, and it’s likely I’ve forgotten something, but I’ll leave it there for now. If you have any more questions, or if you want more specific advice on specific subjects, feel free to ask! I hope this was helpful to you in some way!
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dnangelic · 6 months
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i just wanted to send some positive words your way and let you know that i absolutely adore the way you write both dark and daisuke. it's clear you put a lot of thought and love into both of them, and your posts have always brought a smile to my face. i'll never forget the shock i felt when your blog popped up in my recommended and, i was on call with my boyfriend at the time, he hears me go 'NO WAY, ARE YOU SERIOUS?' before i slapped the follow button LOL d.n.angel holds a special part of my early teenage years and your blog brings the warmth and nostalgia i felt all those years ago. i almost feel like that 14 year old again, giddy over a silly anime and kicking my feet with excitement every time i see your posts c: thank you for being such a joyous presence on my dash
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YOOOO YOU FOUND ME FROM TUMBLR RECCS???? that's so funny... i always thought that thing was useless but i've been proven so wrong LMAO. I'M REAL THOUGH. I'M SO REAL!!! *DOES A JIG* I'M SO GLAD MY BLOG CAN MAKE YOU FEEL THAT WAY TOO 😭🤧PLEASE IT MEANS EVERYTHING TO ME. dnangel is such a weird series because it feels like everyone's at least -SEEN- or heard of it at least once but then it's still weirdly niche?? like there's not really anything for it esp anymore and nobody talks about it esp now that it's finally finished (manga-wise) after 30 some years but it's still like. most popular/easily recognized niche series ik off the top of my head JJGJKFKJ TYSM FOR UR COMPLIMENTS OVER MY PORTRAYAL TOO!!!
making this blog was such a good exercise in my own growth because going back to it sugisaki had such BANGER themes that i didn't even notice or totally grasp at first when i myself was in middleschool, so i feel like i'm lowkey compensating and paying proper attention to everybody now that i have. well. better critical thinking skills and media literacy DFKJKJGKJKJ even going back i was kind of surprised how it dealt with such dark topics like grief and death and the consequences of Playing God or sins and cycles when like.......... it's also a silly little dramatic rom-com about middleschoolers and immortals but it still never leaves you feeling hopeless or lonely, which as also sugisaki's intention with the series!! it's so nice!! i really wanted to be able to emulate the overall messages of her characters and loving art esp since it ends up so meta for us writers. i'm just happy to write!! doesn't have to be perfect or even exact, since i do take a tiny bit of creative/hc liberty with my own inspos and portrayals for dai n dark! but i'm always having sm fun interacting with everybody, AND I RLLY APPRECIATE U TOO!!! 🙇🙇
i'll probably be around for a looooong time bc dai n dark r just as much treasured and influential for me (i was also one of those 14 yr olds, i have embarrassing dnangel merch on top of piles of manga laying around, im certifIED REAL FAN /J) but it makes me so happy my posts bring u joy. im glad bc i know i can post/talk ooc a lot before i get the time to actually properly sit down and Write but that's just how it is for a lot of us kjgkjgfb anyways, thank u again!! things like this rlly help my confidence since actually at the start i had no idea if i could do like... a protagonist (daisuke)/'popular' (to me. dark/dnangel is popular and legendary and overwhelming in the eyes of the tumblr populace to Me-) chara any justice, but im put at ease any time i get such warm feedback like this!!! 💐💐💐FOR YOU! u get even more flowers this time straight from me!!! go buy urself a treat for being so nice!!!
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roboyomo · 5 months
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MY MIND IS JUST INFESTED BY THESE TWO GUYS ATM RIGHT BEFORE BED AND IM SAD THAT I DONT HAVE ANY NEWER ART OF THEM I ONLY HAVE THE OLD STUFF I NEED TO DRAW THEM MORE AGAIN
okay this will turn into a quick rant about them so uh the first guy is Amor (real name Bao), who has an absurd hair length (perfectly laying on the floor) and he wields a human sized axe and he was originally the lead scientist and the founder of the laboratory of the clan in the lore (this will make zero sense but ill explain it all later at some point i swear) in attempt to change his negative attitude towards meeting new people, and help them with the discoveries, the research and the inventions at the lab only to trust one wrong person (its kenix his uncle) and literally have everything he built be crumbled into small pieces and now he is so shaken from the incident about how people dont trust him at all now that he almost changes as a person from this 21 yr old guy who loves science and tries to be more open to people to a guy who will be a killing machine once he will be blinded by his hysterical moments of anger, hating his body so much, thinking it is no longer his but a "monster's" to the point of upon seeing his own reflection in the mirror, he breaks it with his bare hands (he still tries to keep a facade of a great leader to try and regain the trust from society of the afterlife but the rumors about how 'dangerous' he is have already done great damage). amor can be immature with his jokes and stuff but he can be a totally caring and loyal person when treated right but no one except few people know what a real person he is, just an enthusiastic curious scientist at heart who wants to lead others into the bright future with him and the bright smile on his face but the anger and the grudges, and the hidden emotions and feelings keep holding him back from being able to finally heal
second guy is apollo who is a more opposite to amor. he is a calm and kind person (so kind that his kindness gets taken advantage off by the people he thinks he can trust but theyre pretty much using him for their own gain, except for amor and the other clan members, not lab coworkers)
even tho hes different compared to amors more high energy personality, he is amors best friend since childhood (since they were 10!!) and are pretty much canonically married (both are 21 yrs old physically). apollo and amor both founded the lab together promising that they would help others. After Amor's incident which is just the entirety of "Inspiration"s Peak Insanity story chapter, Apollo was pretty much the only one actually working at the lab but then he also got fucked over by the narrative (got cursed and while cursed and not even being in charge of his own body, killed the souls of his already previously dead parents and little sister, listen this is complicated but theyre all these afterlife human(?) beings that if killed, are gone into absolute nothing) and he was already sad enough about them, this only made matters worse as he started to think that he deserves to be dead just like them and how "he should be punished eternally for this sin". he makes a new routine for himself to distract him from his despair only to start overworking himself until he does not know about the concept of "free time". he also has this feeling that he has neglected this whole time but it is his wish to be loved and valued for who he is and not the sweet facade he is putting on but deep down he knows that this facade is who he truly is, he is just so lost in himself that apollo is not able to recognize who he actually is
despite their problems amor and apollo both have their own perspective "you saved me and you helped me so much i wouldnt be the same without you" view on each other since childhood and everytime they are able make me sad
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kabutoraiger · 7 months
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finished my latest out of pocket straight people soap opera of choice, "tasogare ryuuseigun."
the setup is that the average salaryman main character has a midlife crisis and goes on an impromptu european vacation where he coincidentally meets another japanese tourist and realizes she's basically his soulmate. and then even more coincidentally meets her again back home and they start the world's most awkward affair.
meanwhile his unfulfilled wife falls for their 20-something daughter's fiance who is like the milfhunter supreme and is putting the moves on her from the very first second they meet. but it's no real betrayal of the daughter bc SHE'S actually in love with her 60+ yr old college professor and is just marrying the younger guy to be practical / bc HIS mother is dying from cancer and wants to see him get married before she's gone.
so. y'know. normal hetero stuff.
the mom x daughter's fiance storyline was what dragged me into this bc i was like ok i Have to know how that shit pans out. and the answer is... honestly kinda cutely, all things considered.
any time i encounter middle aged woman/younger man in jdramas it always seems to be like. "e-ehh!? (blushes) but i'm an old lady..." as some alpha fuckboy kabedons her. which is. i mean i cannot begrudge the housewives who watch these shows their fantasies but it's simply not my thing, let's just say. so i did find this drama more enjoyable bc while it does feature a lot of the "e-ehh!?" the love interest here is very. different. i call him milfhunter supreme but he's so earnest and gentlemanly and like "you deserve the world, beautiful queen!!" about it. it's a little cringe but also sweet.
but it works on a compatibility level too since he comes across as such an old soul & is honestly kind of. intriguingly "feminine" in his interests & mannerisms. this is a guy who's into growing herbs & brewing tea as a hobby and goes to the movie theater in 2018 to see "an american in paris." genuinely difficult to imagine what he talks about with most people his own age. so him and the mom actually ending up together as a cute couple in the finale feels like. yeah. it's sensible. this seems like an age gap relationship built to last.
that being said i still struggle to call it hugely interesting - the mom is lacking in personality and they never really Talk about what's going on between them in the way you desperately want them to. & the other relationships here are mostly pretty whatever. (did get such a good laugh out of that elevator scene i posted about previously, though.)
that + the fact that the theme song is horrible and plays constantly + the fact that the subs are totally desynced from the video in half the eps if you watch it on a streaming site like i did (i did try to find the raws but no luck at this point)... hard to give this a recommendation. maybe if you really enjoy melodrama and you're on avistaz and are able to DL a properly timed version from there.
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vintagepresley · 11 months
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i truly don’t understand how linda could have done more to help e and i feel like labeling her as an enabler is insanely unfair when she did more for him than most of the people around him and to call her an enabler feels mad misogynistic. linda was only 8 yrs old when elvis’ addiction started and she was 22 when she met elvis, just like cilla she was thrown into a situation that she had no idea how to handle at such a young age, so to expect her to be perfect and make the best decisions is completely unfair to the situation. like if it wasn’t for linda he would have died WAYYYY earlier. and you brought up jerry and larry but… jerry and larry werent with him ALL the time like linda was. like in those private moments where he was in his room choking on food, who was there… linda. idk i feel like when it comes to linda the arguments against them stem from mad misogyny… im not calling her a saint but like shes better than most of the women and men that were around him that could have given less of a fuck abt the person and were only keeping him alive for his money or for his fame.
(also who cares that she still posts him. he was VERY influential in her life, he was literally the first love of her life who died tragically, why wouldnt she post abt him… and what if she just likes interacting with the fans??? how is that a bad thing…)
This is what I mean.. People are quick to defend Linda at any cost and say how was she suppose to know what to do in that situation and how she thrown into it. But when it comes to Priscilla people feel the opposite about and expected her to be able to do everything for this man and knowing how to take care of him. Expecting her to be perfect and then putting the two women against one another on who took care of him better. If you feel I’m being misogynistic then like that’s your opinion man. But I do feel she kind of enabled the behavior. Like yeah she saved his life and saved him from choking and was in the hospital with him. But did she try to motivate him to help himself? To want to do better? I feel like at least some of his friends tried to get him out of his room and get him to go out and keep himself busy and active. That’s what I meant by that. These are just my opinions. I don’t expect anyone to agree and that’s fine.
I never said there was a problem with her posting about him all the time. But people complain Priscilla or anyone else talks about him too much but then it’s okay for her to do it? So I’m like only certain people can talk about him? He was the first love to a lot of women and they all cared just as deeply for him as she did and some felt the tragic loss of him even deeper. Good for her she likes interacting with her fans. I just thought it was weird people have a problem when someone else does it.
Anyway, if you don’t like what I’ve said please feel free to unfollow.
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nameg24 · 1 year
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THE EXPERIENCE OF MY DISTANT HOME
It was cold at 7 p.m. in Mumbai and all I could see with my naked eyes were city lights. The auto-rickshaw was at its full speed making my eyes go thinner because the cold air was just hitting my face. But when tilted my head a bit towards the left, I saw his bare manly hands clasped. I looked at those hands and then at him while he was enjoying the breeze. I was ready to do it. I wanted to do it. I wanted to hold his hand.
Well, first to start off with, this wasn't my first time holding a guy's hands. The first time was bad, it had zero emotions involved. It was more like a challenge given to me by the guy to prove to him that I am not shy at all, rather equally badass like the 18 yr old cool and bitch girls should be. But little did I know back then that I need not prove anything to anybody and ended up ruining one of the most important stages of a relationship (Though I wasn't dating that guy). I regret it. Soon, I learned and accepted the fact that I am a super shy girl who would take ages to even hug her girlfriends because of her shyness. Was anything wrong with me? Absolutely not. Over the period of time, I realized that I hate clinging, so I took this as an advantage and always wanted my first "holding the guy's hand", first "hug" and first "kiss" to be precious to my heart. A moment that is not created out of haste decision but out of comfort and warmth. Soon, I also realized that after getting comfortable with a person I do end up getting too clingy. That's hard to believe, right? On this date, I do feel like giving tight hugs to my girlfriends because it is the assurance and the warmth that I have gracefully accepted, though they keep teasing me about me being a 'touch me not plant'. Nevertheless, a touch me not also shies off after receiving the warmth.
I always wondered if I would be able to experience any of it soon. Just to clarify, I wasn't desperate just a curiosity to know how would I react when the time comes. About 3 months back when I met the guy and started chatting daily, I found my solace and happiness there. I want to share every bit of my day with him. What I was wearing, what color scrunchy I was using, what kind of bag I was using, which train I took, or what kind of hot guys I found that particular day. I want to cry to him about my daily commute, or my bad days and force him to console me. I want him to take care of my daily tantrums without falling apart. I want to share every bit of my story with him. This is how it is when you fall in love with somebody, gradually? I don't have an answer to this.
He is a space where I can be myself. And soon I realized that I have started imagining all exciting things with him, like holding hands, while our friends are around, but secretly giving him a quick hug before any of our friends even get suspicious. Probably I was ready to hold his hand, I guess. Hence, thought of experimenting with it, which turned out to be a blunder. I ended up shaking goodbye to him instead of making it any romantic. I rather made him feel like a 'bro' friend. I definitely regretted doing that and cursed myself too. However, he was patient enough and understood me and just shrugged it off with a laugh, though I was all embarrassed. I thought all about it when I came back home and made it a point that when we were alone, we can hold hands this time I will be confident and I will be taking the first step, if and only if I was ready for it.
And it was the 30th of January 2023. Let me highlight the date in your mind. We contacted and planned to meet at our usual place at the station. When I saw him that day, it felt different already. He was in a light-colored half-sleeve shirt and blue jeans. He reminded me of a famous actor. He in fact does resemble that actor a bit. I just wanted to give him a tight hug. His smile melts me every time. His smile always makes me smile even more. The warmth in his greeting, when he deliberately calls me "Babes", just to irritate me, makes me smile even more. It was the first time when he was sitting right opposite me. He was within my eye contact, but I got shy to look directly into his eyes. They looked tired but happy. I guess it is his smile that makes me fall for him all the time. His sweet cute dimples make me laugh. He was looking just perfect to me that day. And the time came when we had to travel by auto. Both of us were unaware of what was going to happen in that auto. After we sat and got comfortable in the auto, all such exciting thoughts of me holding his hand came into my mind. But, was scared of how it would end. We were in the auto, on the long flyover bridge, while enjoying the bridge and the city lights. This is it I thought. This was the moment! This is something that I had seen in movies. I just looked at him while he was looking out and enjoying the breeze too. His hands clasped and fingers interlocked loosely. I just pulled his hand and held it tight. He was all surprised. It was unbelievable for him (I guess). Just to avoid his expression, so that I don't get embarrassed, I just looked out while holding his huge manly soft hand with a smile on my face, but it ended up hardly for 15 seconds, because I freaked out, maybe? He said nothing and we changed the topic to make me feel less awkward. After a few minutes, I realized that I was missing his soft hand already. Probably I wanted it for real. Probably I was ready for it. And this time I just asked, "A last-minute holding of hands before we leave?" And he was ready at once. This time we clasped each other's hands. And I held it tight as if he was running away. But for his assurance, he just asked whether I was sure of this and I with a huge smile said "Yes". This time it was for about 2-3 minutes. I was enjoying and loved it. I didn't look at him directly or else I would have got all bad shitty thoughts of kissing him, as my adrenaline was just rushing and oxytocin was being released a full speed as if it is never going to happen ever. My pussy quivered a bit. It felt awesome. I felt home and warmth in his hand. The comfort. I wanted to just hold his hand and rest my head on his shoulder and enjoy the moment. I wanted to just hug him. I wanted to rest my head on his chest while holding his hand. I wanted to feel his warmth as a whole. I didn't want to kiss him at that moment at all. All I wanted was to rest my head on his shoulder while tightly holding his hand and both of us just enjoying the city lights. Well, one step at a time and was happy just holding his hand. I experienced it. For real!! People die to experience their first kiss, but for me, this was an upside-down moment. I just didn't wish to leave his hand. It is day 2 and I am already missing his hand. His warmth. Rather my home in him.
P.S.: I don't know whether we are going to end up together. Hence, will not mention his name. But my first experience was awesome. I would want him to read this, in fact, the whole world but, this is not the right time. If he is the one, if this is it, then I would want to show it to the whole world. My first experience. I want to just fix this memory in my brain even if he is not the one.
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Listening to NPR can sure make me grumpy.
I mean, in some ways I do love listening. Most days it’s my first news, and the radio stays tuned to it. I trust them about as much as I trust any news source. But DAMN , they live in another world than me!
I know they can’t help being utterly clueless about the lifestyle of the poor an rural. Most news sources, ad pop culture for that matter, does not get it. People live in bubbles, and it’s hard for folks in my bubble to move into another. To transition to a world in which they get to have a “voice” in the culture they have to transform a bit, through classy educational institutions, living location, money, or whatever. Even if they were born in my world it’s easy for them to forget.
Today I caught a bit railing against dollar stores. Someone actually was actually like “If they don’t have grocery stores, why don’t they just start food co-ops and community gardens?” Rather than have those icky Dollar Generals. And at another point a man was saying how it was 10 miles to the nearest grocery store and the host actually asked if they had “robust” public transportation!
Ok, so I live in a town with a Dollar General, and let me tell you that I’m actually kind of grateful for it! No, I’m not delighted with chains like that in concept, but when it has been over 20 yrs since the gas station (the only one in town) wasn’t the only source of “groceries”, no one else was going to be opening a store!
We are a town of less than 500 people, 10 miles from a grocery store, mostly consisting of the poor and old, and public transit does not exist. You need to either be able to drive a minimum 20 mile round trip, or have someone give you a lift, and considering the road is a busy four lane highway I SERIOUSLY advise against biking. The people that live here either are working too hard or too unwell to do the work of organizing a co-op. As for a community garden, you have any idea how hard it would be for a community to grow all their own food AND pay the bills?
So yeah, I’m no Dollar General fangirl, but I am glad there is a place people can get to easily, even walk to, where they can get necessities on a pinch.
Oh, and let me add , once every two weeks I do my shopping and my first stop it Dollar Tree to tick things off my list. Why? Because I am broke!! Every single penny counts for my survival.
I admit I feel sensitive. I’m trapped in this rural hick town, worried that if anything goes wrong with my body or car I won’t be able to even run errands. I don’t have people to turn to and donn’t have money to pay people. I am too poor to live except in the most post-apocalyptic way, like someone gave be food they were throwing out to give my pig, and I ended up sorting out half to eat myself. (OOOOOH BLUEBERRIES! How I’ve missed you!) I have $15 right now, and I have to figure out how much of that to use for gas and still have a little for mailing something, ‘cause I’m running way too close to empty. Too close to drive 10 miles!! So hearing people with a ton of advantages full of “just” suggestions annoys the hell out of me!
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autonoes · 10 months
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so there is a situation. no one has to read this bc it’s probably gonna be pretty much incoherent and i’m just tryna think things thru. (self harm and suicide mention)
me and two other guys have been friends for like 13yrs or smth. let’s call them friends A and B ok. friend A is like the sweetest man ever but a v passive and anxious guy, v bad at making decisions and just coasts thru life and gets pushed around. he’s had this sorta older gf (early 30s i think) for like 2 yrs. she is basically a surrogate mum for him (drives him around, tells him what to do, gives him a place to live blah blah). it’s a bit creepy but ok. she has been up front since day 1 that she wants babies. loads of babies. friend A has somehow skirted around the issue and put it off for years now. he is NOT ready to be a dad and he says this openly—but not to her. she has an unstable visa and work situation and quite bad anxiety/depression. A’s mum gets on suuper well with girlfriend and wants them to get married and have kids asap
enter friend B. friends A and B have this mutual friend. friend A opened up to this mutual guy and told him that things were kinda fucked up between him and gf. main thing is that she’s self-harming and friend A feels like he needs to protect her. this has made him super isolated cos he can’t stay away from her at all without her calling and texting constantly asking him to come home. mutual friend tells friend B all this out of concern for friend A, and tells him to tell me too. friend B starts messaging me abt how we need to step in and do something (i’m at the other end of the country at this time). he’s even considering telling friend A’s mum so that she will swoop in and save him. at this time i was under the impression that girlfriend was threatening friend A with self harm and suicide. so i was like that’s abusive as fuck. u gotta talk to him. so friend B meets up with friend A. but he brings that mutual friend guy AND some other dude we all know from school who knows nothing about all this??? and he totally fumbles it and doesn’t even mention anything. very annoying but ok. i’ll just do it
anyway so now i’m back in the same part of the country as them all. and i’m gonna talk to friend A. i meet up with friend B and try to get more info out of him and he tells me that yes there IS a self harm element but now he doesn’t know whether it’s being used as a threat or not. so this makes everything waay more complicated and throws it all into veeery sensitive gray area.
anyway i’m meeting up with friend A tomorrow and idk how exactly i’m gonna approach this. bc i’m not even meant to know ANY of this rly. like it’s v sensitive and confidential info that he gave to a totally different guy and which has now passed two hands to get to me. so idk whether it’s best to pretend like i don’t know anything and just coax the same info out of him so we can talk abt it. or whether i should be up front and say i heard some stuff i’m concerned abt and ask him to give me his perspective on it all…. i don’t mind talking to him abt this. i feel like i might be able to come at it on his level bc i have had some experience w this kind of thing in a relationship before (tho when much younger and a lot less messy) and i know how it can fuck ur head up.
it’s all a mess tbh. i’m gonna stop thinking abt it and just talk to him and take it as it comes. i am worried abt him. either he stays w her and leads her on even more abt having kids til she goes completely mad and dumps him. or he does have kids (not good situation). orr he actually takes a stand for once and tells her he does not want children and they split. this is probably the ‘best’ situation but it would be very hard for him and for more reasons that i cannot explain might end up very badly for him….. aaagggggh. v upsetting. i hope he will be ok
omg this is long and incoherent. sorry if u read all this
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hircines-lapdog · 11 months
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🍀 Hey!! I’m Bith and this is my sideblog for Elder Scrolls content. I write and will occasionally post it to this blog under the #my writing tag. Most of my focus is on Skyrim but I also enjoy Morrowind and Oblivion!
🍀 DNI: Bigots of any kind. You’re not welcome here and I will block you.
🍀 Asks are open! I love talking about TES and OCs so feel free to ask or tag me in stuff
OC masterlist under the cut. This list is subject to change.
Picrews used: https://picrew.me/en/image_maker/254030
https://picrew.me/en/image_maker/1564386
All characters’ ages are how old they are at the start of their respective game events.
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NAME: Dendras Elmhollow
GENDER/SEXUALITY: Genderqueer (They/Them), Asexual Demiromantic
RACE: Bosmer
OCCUPATION: Assassin, Follower of Hircine
BIRTHDAY/SIGN: 20th of Sun’s Dawn (The Lover), 4E 003 (198 yrs old)
Main Companion(s): Inigo, Khash, Auri
Born in Valenwood just after the Oblivion Crisis, Dendras grew up in the capital city of Silvenar. Their childhood was relatively peaceful as they studied the teachings of Y’ffre alongside their sister and heard only whispers amongst the adults of events happening elsewhere such as the eruption of Red Mountain and the Thalmor’s rise to power in the Summerset Isles. As they grew older, and the Thalmor eventually began their takeover of Valenwood, Dendras found themselves taking up arms more and more in an attempt to fight back. For the sake of their family, they eventually had to back down from resisting the Thalmor incursion, and returned to a somewhat normal life for a quite few years.
Dendras was forced to leave Valenwood after an unfortunate hunting trip resulted in them contracting lycanthropy. After drifting around Cyrodiil for awhile, they found themselves once more fighting a losing battle against the Thalmor. In a desperate act of survival, both to avoid death at the hands of the Aldmeri Dominion and Y’ffre’s wrath at shifting their form, they joined the Dark Brotherhood. Though they did not trust the organization, they found some safety and stability in the worship of Sithis.
As the Dark Brotherhood began to crumble across Cyrodiil, Dendras found themselves traveling the region working more as a freelance assassin. Money was tough to come by, but someone always wanted someone else dead. It was in this time that they first met Inigo. They took a liking to him, as he seemed to be able to talk for the both of them and asked few questions about Dendras’s past.  After his inevitable betrayal over the bounty money, Dendras found themselves wandering the southern half of Skyrim, where they would eventually find Khash and take her under their wing. 
TRIVIA:
Dendras knows the history of Valenwood well, and never had any love for the Empire. However, as the war against the Thalmor raged on, they took a “The enemy of my enemy” approach
While they were no fan of Hircine as first, Dendras eventually grew to accept their situation, and became a follower of the god of the hunt
Though it may seem heretical, Dendras does still worship Y’ffre to an extent. They still follow the Green Pact and occasionally leave offerings. Despite the punishment awaiting them back home, they still find some comfort in her worship.
Their worship of Sithis eventually faded to a simple respect for him. While they still take jobs in his name, they do not view themselves as a follower by the events of Skyrim
When Inigo attempted to murder them, they shifted out of pure survival instinct. This resulted in their ‘wandering’ to be more of a months long rampage across southern Skyrim until they eventually shifted back. Angi found them unconscious in the mountains and helped them get back on their feet. 
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NAME: Gar Uzgal
GENDER/SEXUALITY: Cisgender Woman (She/Her), Pansexual Aromantic
RACE: Orsimer
OCCUPATION: Dragonborn, Unwilling Champion of Hermeus Mora
BIRTHDAY/SIGN: 9th of First Seed (The Lord), 4E 154 (47 yrs old)
Main Companion(s): Lucien, Taliesin, Gore
Born of the Osh Ornim in the Dragontail Mountains, Gar spent much of her childhood in Fourth Orsinium. She lived a rather isolated life, as he parents were miners who never ventured far beyond Orsinium’s walls. As she entered her teenage years, she began to travel the mountains and their surrounding provinces. This is how she found herself in Dragonstar, where she joined the Fighters Guild in the hopes of taking on mercenary work that would have her traveling all over Tamriel. Eventually, she found herself in the Reach of Skyrim, where she had been hired in an attempt to push back the Reachmen who had taken control. She instead found herself sympathetic to their cause, as she recognized their struggle as similar to that of the Orcs’ constant attempts to establish Orsinium only for it to be sacked. By the time of the Markarth Incident, Gar found herself jaded both with the Empire for refusing to acknowledge the Reachmen’s kingdom and with Ulfric for ousting the people from their own home. Gar was forced to flee southeast where she would eventually be captured after attempting to join the ambush on Ulfric and being mistaken for the enemy. 
TRIVIA:
When she was young, Gar had intentions of joining the Imperial Legion. Those intentions died rather quickly once the Great War broke out. 
Due to growing up in the mountains, Gar has agoraphobia and becomes jumpy whenever she is in wide open areas.
Though her preferred weapon is a greataxe, Gar has made a name for herself by using her fists when in tight situations.
While she rarely admits it, Gar is quite attached to Wynellon and views him as a close friend. 
Gar knows sign language and regularly uses it, whether it be that she is  stealthinf or that she has gone nonverbal
While she was in Dragonstar, she often got remarks on the fact that her birthday was on the Day of Waiting. Some amongst the Fighters Guild jokingly gave her the nickname Dragon due to this fact. 
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NAME: Wynellon Gaerlaine
GENDER/SEXUALITY: Demiboy (He/They), Biromantic Greysexual
RACE: Breton
OCCUPATION: Vigilant of Stendarr
BIRTHDAY/SIGN: 18th of Midyear (The Steed), 4E 175 (26 yrs old)
Main Companion(s): Remiel, Xelzaz, Serana
Born into a minor noble family in the city of Wayrest, Wynellon spent much of his childhood living lavishly. His mother unfortunately passed in childbirth, and so his father doted on him, buying him many gifts and rarely disciplining Wynn. This caused him to have a rather entitled attitude. That is, until the Invasion of Wayrest, where Wynnellon, who was just thirteen, and his father fled from the Corsairs to the city of Evermore. It was here that Wynn became interested in the pursuit of knighthood. He often would watch as traveling warriors came and went from the city, telling their tales of adventure. As he grew older, he took on jobs as a squire, none of which lasted long. Wynellon’s upbringing and attitude made him unpopular, as did his avoidance of any real work. Often he would make others shine armor and sharpen weapons and later take credit for their work. Eventually word spread, and not be would take him on as their apprentice. As he reached his twenties, he met a pair of Vigilants of Stendarr. The two told Wynellon of their exploits hunting vampires and deadra worshippers, and, most importantly, that they rarely worked alone. Wynellon jumped at the chance for glory. After all, he could leave the actual monster hunting to his partner. Thing did not work out that way though, as for the next four years Wynellon’s cowardice was revealed and every one of his partners would either be killed or request a transfer to save their own skin. Eventually Wynellon would be sent to Stendarr’s Beacon, where the events of VIGILANT would kick off. Two years later Wynn would be sent to the Dawnguard.
TRIVIA:
Wynellon was fairly oblivious to the fact they were unpopular as a child. Many just ‘befriended’ the child in an attempt to gain status for themselves
Wynellon’s father was quite relieved when his child began work as a squire, as he was quickly running low on the funds they fled Wayrest with. He hid this well, as to this day Wynellon still believes that the Gaerlaines are fairly well off. 
Out of selfishness or stupidity, Wynn would often carry much of the healing supplies on monster hunts. This proved a significant problem when he would flee from fights, leaving his partners behind.
Despite the events of VIGILANT making him a significantly better fighter, Wynn still often resorts to running away when he can. Fighting fair will never be their strong suit. 
Though she sometimes scares him, Wynellon is extremely close to Gar. He enjoys being around someone who gladly does all the fighting for him. 
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NAME: K’harr-do Mahrani
GENDER/SEXUALITY: Trans man (He/Him), Aroace
RACE: Khajiit (Suthay-raht)
OCCUPATION: Nerevarine, Monk of the Goutfang
BIRTHDAY/SIGN: 6th of Morning Star (The Ritual), 3E 400 (27 yrs old)
Born just after the Five Year War between Valenwood and Elsweyr, K’harr-do was left at the Temple of Two-Moons Dance by his parents. Their identities were never discovered, and he was raised by the temple monks who taught him all manner of martial combat. K’harr-do took to the training well, and would eventually become a monk of the Goutfang where he would earn the honorific -do in his name. K’harr-do spent much of his early adulthood doing various jobs for the citizens of Dune, be it guardian moon sugar fields or fending off trolls and werelions of the surrounding hills. His devotion to the temple and city would eventually get him noticed, as he was selected to perform a mission from the Mane themself. K’harr-do was sent to infiltrate Cydrodiil and investigate the aftermaths of the Warp in the West, along with any plans the Empire may have been making in response. Unfortunately, K’harr-do was arrested after being caught attempting to break into a guard captain’s office and was jailed for a year before being sent by ship to Morrowind. 
TRIVIA:
K’harr-do made several attempts to leave Morrowind and return home during the events of the game, but was somehow always stopped by freak occurrences
Though he joined both the Thieves Guild and Fighters Guild in a desperate attempt to make money, K’harr-do eventually left the Fighter’s Guild after learning of their involvement with the Camonna Tong. 
K’harr-do never had a knack for magic, and so he struggled to maneuver many of the wizard towers. The levitation potions made him nauseous. 
After the events of Tribunal, K’harr-do returned to Elsweyr, where he would keep a low profile and take part in major events from the shadows. Eventually he would take to traveling the rest of Tamriel. 
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NAME: Valya Korian
GENDER/SEXUALITY: Trans Woman (She/Her), Lesbian
RACE: Altmer
OCCUPATION: Hero of Kvatch, Champion of the Nine, Sheogorath
BIRTHDAY/SIGN: 27th of Hearthfire (The Serpent), 3E 379 (54 yrs old)
Born in the years just before the Imperial Simulacrum, Valya started out living a modest life. Her parents were hunters, who lived in a cabin in the woods south of Cheydinhal. Trips into the city were rare, as they were largely self sufficient, but Valya enjoyed the few trips the family would make every year. The bright colors of the market excited her, and she found herself striking a conversation with many a merchant. Those rare trips grew rarer, however, with the Imperial Simulacrum. The poor leadership of Jagar Tharn resulted in unchecked taxes and unorganized guards rarely patrolling, leaving thieves free to prowl along the roads. It was a gang of these thieves that unfortunately ended the lives of both of her parents. With little in their possession beyond what they could scavenge from the woods, Valya’s parents could not pay the toll demanded of them. In retaliation, the gang killed them as Valya hid in the crawl space beneath the cabin. At the age of fifteen, she was left to fend for herself using the skills her parents taught her. Though she became quite skilled with a bow, Valya never sought to avenge her parents. Taking another person’s life was something she didn’t think she could do. She instead carried on living the same life her parents did, hunting and gathering and traveling into the city to sell pelts and potions she learned to brew. It was on one of these trips where she was arrested, with the guards claiming she was a poacher. Eventually she would be sent to the Imperial City, where she would be jailed until the arrival of the Emperor. 
TRIVIA:
Though she is aware she has relatives in Summerset, the only family Valya knew was her parents and an aunt that came to visit just after the Warp in the West. 
Though she never got his name, Valya very briefly met K’harr-do when he requested to trade for supplies after stumbling upon Valya’s cabin. 
Much of Valya’s means of potion making we’re self taught, and the alchemists of the Imperial City were appalled when she first described her process. 
With the guilt of Martin’s sacrifice laying heavy on her shoulders, Valya sought out many means of making herself useful before she eventually grew extremely disillusioned and mantled Sheogorath.
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tilliesantana · 2 years
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What's Worse than one Stalker Following You
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spencerlawrence4 · 2 years
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replica burberry scarf 15
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metomomo · 2 years
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BIGEAST magazine 2022 vol. 1
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Trans 1, 2, 5 credit goes to @/enerG1zing on twt, rest are by kind friends and me :)
1- BigEast, how are you guys?
From the bottom of my heart, thank you guys for always believing in TVXQ and me, and for always waiting for us. I always wanna make an opportunity to see you guys face to face, please wait a lil bit. BigEast have given me a lot of strength for a long time now. From now on, I will work hard to be your strength. This year please take care of me too.
2- BigEast, we finally welcome 2022. I've alr said many times that I wanna see you, even tho seasons change, but my feelings stay the same. If the condition gets better, we'll immediately see you. We'll prepare well to give you a cool performance! This year, pls take care of me too.
3- For 15 yrs since Japan debut, there has been a lot of abundance, and they have been able to know everything about each other. This is the content of their first impressions and interesting talks the members of had lately. Presenting the full content to you.
4- The first impression of each other
CM: When I met Yunho for the very first at the company, Yunho was an amazing sunbae trainee. There were a lot of trainees, but Yunho was considered as the greatest. He was a brother I was really very excited to meet
Yunho: really embarrassing (laughs). Just like what Changmin said, there were a lot of trainees that time. SUPER JUNIOR members were also trainees from the same period of time. Among the many trainees, Changmin was tall, handsome, and the most important, he had a very pure and innocent vibe. This impression still remains in my memory until now. When I first saw him his eyes were so bright, I could not see anything except his eyes. How could a child be this pretty?
Changmin: I was really pure and innocent that time.. (laughs)
Yunho: (laughs) His eyes were so bright, so I only looked at his eyes. I fell for Changmin eyes This might sound weird, but Changmin's eyes were really shiny.
Changmin: Really?
Yunho : You didn't know?
Changmin: It was like eagle eyes feeling
Yunho: loud laughing
Changmin: You might think something like, "what can this kid do?" when you saw me, right? Yunho's aura was really dominating that time. He was not very nice the first meeting. I really felt saddened as he was good to all the other trainees.
Yunho: The atmosphere was more charged than now because we were still young (laughs). When a new trainee came there were always rumors that “they were so handsome “or “they sing really well.” At that time, there was a rumor saying that Changmin sang well and was so handsome. And when I saw Changmin, he was taller and more handsome than what I had in mind, I was surprised. But he has gotten more handsome now.
Changmin: I've become more gloomy now. I am not immune to the passage of time (laugh)
Yunho: No! You have turned into a better man.
Changmin: Thank you for the compliment
Yunho: speaking about the passage of time, did you have any troubles waking up this morning? Today was also really very early to start the shoot
Changmin: it does feel like my immunity has decreased a bit. I want you to relax your passion and rest more.
Yunho: Working is my passion
Changmin: Right. There's no ON and OFF for Yunho.
Yunho: for me I have no interest in a boundary between my work and my personal life. I would not rather sleep than go to work. That's why Changmin is worried about me a little bit, but he takes care of me better than anyone knows.
Changmin: The passion of Yunho cannot be compared to anyone else, but it is worrying to those who care for him, so I try to really take care of him the best I can.
5- The harmony when you do MC-ing at concert could make us feel the understanding between you both. Are there any fixed rules when doing MC-ing?
Changmin: Not only MC-ing, we also have fixed rules during tour, which is "the main character of today's stage is the audience."
Yunho: Right
Changmin: If there was no audience, the stage itself wouldn't exist. When we create a stage, we need to see the audience first, therefore, even though we are on the stage, we also keep thinking that audience is the main character. Talking about MC-ing, I often improvize on the spot. I truly apologize to Yunho for this, because he is troubled with my casual and free way of talking (laughs).
Yunho: Regarding being troubled, this is our responsibility. I am responsible for the jokes, Changmin is responsible for roasting. Even tho we both take turns in joking and roasting, but Changmin's sense of roasting is really impressive. Therefore, compared to the moment when we both talk about pleasant things, we tend to be naive, it's more interesting to see Changmin talk freely like this, since Changmin's sense is really good.
Changmin: Maintain peace with everyone.
Yunho: Changmin's main persona is sharp tongue (laughs). But Changmin always talks seriously during MC's ending summary or when cutting off songs. The last session of MC-ing during concert shows Changmin's style the most. Changmin's ability in showing the contrast through improvization on the spot is also amazing.
6-
YH: And also, CM really knows what food is good. Because he likes food, he always says things like "yesterday I ate this, it was so delicious".
CM: I often say unnecessary things (laughs). I was actually curious about this. Instance when you look at me don’t you sometimes think, "don't say unnecessary things?"
YH: Honestly… yes (laughs)
CM: I knew it! Obviously there are times where you would feel that (laugh)
YH: No, I was kidding (laughs). It is because you say such things that MC is more interesting. We both understand each other so just do what you like (laughs). But. I also sometimes say things wrong and CM will help me. So the contrast is really good.
What's the message you send to each other lately?
CM: When YH comes to eat at my house, after he always sends"thanks for today! Afterwards we should work hard together too!" this kind of message is common these days.
YH: Those days were really joyous, right. Your house decoration is rlly beautiful And also as I’ve eaten the food CM made before, I thought that his cooking is better now. The plating was also so pretty that I took a picture. Afterwards I sent him A message saying it was really delicious.
CM: Although your heart is warm.. Let's just order delivery next time (laughing loudly)
YH: (laughing loudly ). Interior decoration is done really well~ European style.
CM: You're too much (laughs). Yunho's house gives a big family's house kind of impression. It is also very impressive.
YH: At best it has a very traditional atmosphere. But there's nothing in my house.
What is a hobby both of you have?
CM: Does watching movies or dramas count as a hobby? We often recommend movies and dramas to each other saying like, “Have you watched that?" or “That movie/drama is really good."
YH: Right, lately CM has recommended for us to do golf. So I’m thinking of golfing together next time when we have some time. (A.N: at the time of the interview the two had not been golfing tgt, at the time of release they had been multiple times)
7-
CM: I'm a sucker for golf (laughs)
YH: I'm still learning and haven’t practiced as much as CM so I’m not as good.
CM: because we both have the same interest, I’ve been inviting him out to play golf with me.
YH: I'll definitely try golfing in 2022.
It's been an abundant 15 yrs since Japan debut, is there any aspect which grows or stays the same from ur partner?
CM: YH's passion for being a singer. When YH was a kid his eyes were bright with the pursuit of dreams. Up to this day, YH still keeps that child-like eye expression, there's no change at all. I Think this is one of YH’s best traits. What has changed is his scope of art. Before, YH was only interested in singing and dancing, nothing else Now, I could say that he is invested in all forms of art. I'm really impressed with his encompassing view.
YH: (shyly) Thank you, you too, CM..
CM: Comprehensive artist!
YH: (Loud laughter) now what are you saying (laughs). I may have a lot of interest now but CM has always been the same. Like I just said if there is something he is interested, his focus is really no joke. He is a person who is fully immersed from the beginning.
8-
YH: I think this point is really impressive. He is still the same now. His attitude towards work makes me feel proud of him. Something we both have is that we respect every single job. CM has grown in his manly manner, mature comments, and also his ability to protect people around him. These are not gained through working hard,this is through learning how to observe the surroundings naturally. Honestly, we both are really hard-working people (laughs). We are very considerate to each other. For example: even when I may actually be okay, I know my partner may not feel the same, so I always make sure to first ask my partner if we should rest. CM's ability to observe the surroundings like this is getting better. He is sensible and he was already such a warm person before. But now CM is even warmer and softer, and feels like a hyung.
CM: I'm so embarrassed hearing you talk like this. I definitely respect YH too
YH: And also what I want to say is that because we have been together for many years since our debut, I think we are almost “identical”. For instance, our enthusiasm! We obviously have different styles, but during important moments, we make the same decisions, even till this day we have not had any true fights or moments where we disagree. I think this is really amazing.
CM: because from the beginning we both have the same goals, our values are also the same.
You both have a lot of things in common, is there any TMI of your partner that there's no one knows but you?
CM: How do I say this.. YH, do you have some
TMI?
YH: A lot, can I say it?
CM: No need to worry.
YH: Lately CM has showed me golfing videos. I definitely don't remember the details, but his background was rlly beautiful. Have you guys seen the video? (laughs). I have no idea about his actual ability, but his stance was rily good.
CM: I'm so close to giving up on golfing anytime now (laughs).
YH: His foot stance and other things looked really good. Our manager loves golfing, so we often watch golf videos. Because of this, I'm ocasionally asked by people around me if I like playing golf. In my opinion, CM doesn't look like a golf rookie at all, including his vibe.
CM: Thank you (laughs). YH's TMI is not embarrassing thing, it's cute! Yunho unexpectedly loves snacks such as chocolate. I thought YH wouldn't like eating snacks that much, but he would unconsciously eating snacks. YH himself sometimes doesn't even realize that he's eating.
YH: That's right. I never realize that I'm eating something. During interview, I would suddenly find out that I'm actually eating like this (laughs)
CM: It's a cute TMI (laughs)
Lastly, what is BigEast to you?
YH: "A friend". I would say a member or a family, but BigEast has already passed this level. As time goes by, things keep changing, but BigEast is always with us like a close friend, I have this kind of feeling. "Friend" is the most suitable word.
CM: To me, it's "benefactor". BigEast is my safe place. It's real. If there's no a safe place for CM the singer, there wouldn't be singer CM himself. We both feel like this towards BigEast.
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fairycosmos · 2 years
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tbh after covid i started remembering how shitty the world can rlly be and seeing everyone seemingly stop caring about the lives of others and realizing that we truly are the same human beings that have done torture and world wars and stuff and i feel like its really hard to keep trying to find the goodness in people. but reading ur blog gives me hope that there are still people out there who are gentle and kind or at least well meaning. idk ik that sounds privileged but i think this was my first personal experience w mass tragedy and i didn't realize that you dont rly genuinely know what it's like until you experience it
honestly i don't blame you at all LOL like i basically had the same experience and i think a lot of ppl did, esp young ppl. it was just like idk. the suspicion we had our whole lives that we're surrounded and governed by unempathetic assholes at best and downright heartless lunatics at worst was confirmed in 24K for 2+ yrs straight while the death toll climbed and that was that. it was and is really disillusioning. of course it's privileged to say that, but it's also simply the truth for many. there are tons of nuance-adding factors to covid and the way ppl responded to it but a lot of the behaviour has been straight up fucking unhinged, and just so beyond ignorant lmfao in such a universal way too. nobody has any conception of anyone or anything mattering outside of their own bubble, including me to an extent obviously. it's just jarring as fuck to think we live in that every single day, so cognitively dissociated from it to get by. it's awful, and i agree that it echoes the cruelty of the past in a really uncomfortable way :( the capacity for human maliciousness is truly something else.
anyway, all that to say, it definitely doesn't mean there isn't kindness out there, and in abundance too, it's just a difficult and weird world at the same time. so many conflicting realities all occurring at once, sense is bound to be scarce. thank u lovely!! <3 im beyond glad my blog can give you a bit of comfort while we're living through what seems to be an increasingly ridiculous joke. it does the same for me tbh half the reason i believe in Anything is because of random girl bloggers online. anyway it might be like getting blood out of a stone LOL but i genuinely believe in u. and i think the people we come across are sometimes well meaning, we're just all kind of alienated from one and other too. and i think u can and will find the support system you deserve with time, for real. maybe it's just more of a weeding out the bad sort of process, rather than being able to trust and believe in everyone and everything with freedom, sadly. sending u a lot of love! i know it's hard. don't doom scroll/stay stuck watching the news if you can help it, it just makes things feel heavier for no material change in return for that pain. mwah x
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everwitch-magiks · 3 years
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RWRB Fics Roundup
Hey y’all! Once upon a time I had the ambition to post links on here to all the fics and new chapters that I publish on AO3, and I think it’s safe to say that I’ve been an absolute disaster at that over the summer. In my defense I’ve just had so much to write, but that’s not much of a defense seeing as it doesn’t take ages to chuck a link on here. Anyhow. Bottom line is, I’ve severely neglected it, and it’s gotten to a point where I’m just gonna make a post with links to everything I’ve written since June (ish) for you to peruse, so you can see if there’s one that you didn’t catch wind of that catches your eye now. Neat, huh?
So, without further ado, the links! The fics! Let’s go.
Completed works
Love At First Bark General Audiences, AU, tooth-rotting fluff. 3K. “I still don’t know your name, do I?” Henry watches Alex where he’s crouched down in front of David and gently scratching David below his chin. David absolutely loves Alex. Henry can relate. “It’s David,” Henry supplies. “Cool,” Alex says. “And what’s the dog’s name?” Henry blinks at him. “... David?” “What?” Alex exclaims. He looks from David to Henry and then back at David again. “Wow, okay, that is a choice.” Henry wants to sink through the earth and never come back up again.
Shameless Explicit, AU, Henry has a reputation. 14K. Henry has a lot of sex. A lot. He's young and in college and there is no shortage of men to fall in bed with. What better time to explore what he likes and what he fucking loves, as well as to catalogue how to make his many, many partners feel as good as possible? It’s all part of the learning experience. And Henry is a very dedicated student.
Alex has been inescapably aware of Henry ever since that one time they kissed. You don’t just stop being aware of the guy who basically caused your sexuality. So when Henry propositions Alex at a lame frat party, Alex accepts eagerly. Maybe this is exactly what he needs. Maybe, if he can just have Henry once, he’ll have a better chance of finally getting over his embarrassing fixation with Henry. It's worth a try.
When The Time Is Right Part four of my sex club series. Explicit, AU, dom Henry and sub Alex. 16K. “Maybe I could challenge you more,” Henry suggests, his eyes carefully trained on Alex. “And hold you accountable for longer. How does that sound?” “That sounds fucking amazing,” Alex tells him, the words coming out in a rush. “Yes. That. Please.” “Alright, then.” Henry offers him a sly grin. “Alex, love. You just gave me a wonderful idea.” It’s really something, how quickly Alex’s heartbeat picks up. “Oh? Do tell.” Henry’s grin widens. He looks alarmingly pleased with himself. “How would you feel about a staycation?”
When Alex asks Henry for something a little more intense in the bedroom, they end up taking more than just their sex life to the next level.
Out For A Bite Explicit, AU, suspense and supernatural elements. 3K. Henry's eyes fly up, zeroing in on the reflection in the mirror. There, behind him. The man from the bar. He looks different in the fluorescent bathroom lights. Sharper. There’s a look in his eyes that has Henry shivering all over again. It's greedy. Hungry.
He’s staring right at Henry.
Henry's throat feels dry. His heart beats madly. He's heard whispers of this place, and more importantly of its patrons. He thinks he knows what this man is.
ever fallen in love (with someone you shouldn’t have fallen in love with) Explicit, AU, Alex and Henry in DIY Punk & mainstream pop punk, respectively. 34K. Teenage music sensation Kensington have taken the world by storm. With their cool leather jackets and wickedly distorted guitars, they're a pop duo that packs a punch. Or at least they sound like one—their lyrics unfortunately lack any semblance of depth. Alex can't fucking stand Kensington. But thankfully, he doesn’t have to. He’s not likely to cross paths with those British pop losers during his final semester of high school in Texas. And even if he did, he'd never let some stupidly attractive blonde take his focus away from the goal that Alex has worked towards for years: winning the Austin Band Slam with his latino punk trio.
But when Henry comes crashing into Alex's life, with his intriguing piano pieces and piercing blue eyes and slow, purposeful kisses that make Alex burn with want, Alex finds that he might need to reevaluate his stance on both pop losers and distractions. Or maybe not. Maybe he’s better off keeping Henry at arm's length, since it's so painfully evident that Henry will never love him back.
Never Tell Me The Odds Teen and Up Audiences, canon verse, an outside perspective on First Prince as well as a story about a certain Star Wars mural. 2K. "Wait!" Alex yells up to the driver. "Stop! Stop the car!" Up close, it's beautiful. Two stories tall. He can’t imagine how somebody was able to put together something like this so fast.
Ash had never imagined that they'd get the chance to actually meet Alex Claremont-Diaz, and much less get the chance to tell Alex about how that very special Star Wars mural came to be. Although of course, Ash never would have met Alex if it hadn’t been for Farida. Farida and her bold courage, and her warm compassion, and her sometimes infuriating (but always endearing) stubbornness.
yrs. faithfully (with nowhere to go) Explicit, canon verse, a lazy morning in bed leads to something more. 3K. When Alex and Henry wake up together the day before their anniversary, they're genuinely planning on getting out of bed and spending the day as productive members or society. Truly, their intentions are honorable. But a trip down memory lane gets them reminiscing about that night exactly one year ago, when Alex had come running through the rain to deliver some choice words about obtuse fucking assholes.
As Alex and Henry start to relive the memory, they quickly realize that they both remember it intimately. So intimately that they might be able to pull off something of a do-over.
Gadgets and Gizmos A-Plenty A companion piece to dearest Hattie’s soulmate fic. Mature, AU, a look into Henry buying sex toys. Yes. That’s the fic. 2K. There’s a bunch of regulars that Amir knows by name (and, unavoidably, by kinks), but most often Playtime gets one-time visitors. Which makes sense, really. A lot of people don’t seem to want to step into the same adult toy shop twice. So Amir is always a little extra curious when there’s a repeat customer, especially one who is this attractive. And, interestingly, one who’s come back so soon.
The tall, classically handsome man with blond hair and blue eyes left Playtime no less than five hours ago after having purchased a medium-sized, fairly standard vibrator well suited for anal play. And now he’s back. Because apparently, he’s found he needed another vibrator.
If Sex Was A Sport We’d Be Winning Mature, AU, a classic Olympics hookup. 3K. It's remarkable, truly, that Alex didn't even want to be here. He only came all the way to Ariake because June was determined to watch a bunch of prissy ponies strut around to music. Still, perhaps the true Olympic experience lies in the wide variety of disciplines. Or, perhaps, it has something to do with chatting up a pretty blond behind the stables and getting him to show you the inside of an Olympic tack room. As Alex quickly takes to Henry’s sweet smiles and easy confidence, he realizes that just a few stolen moments with this man might turn into his most cherished memory from the Tokyo Olympics.
Alex knows better than to get attached, though. He and Henry live an ocean apart. There’s no way this quick fumble in the stable equivalent of a supply closet could ever lead to anything more. Right?
Talk Dirty To Me Explicit, AU, dom Henry and sub Alex. 9K. Henry studies Nora’s expression for a moment. There’s something about her favourable account of this guy she claims not to want to sleep with again that doesn’t add up. "But you're still not interested in taking him on?"
"He wants more than I'm willing to offer," Nora says frankly. Henry’s always liked this about her—how she doesn’t skirt around the hard facts. It's a part of what makes her so good at dominating. "But you know what? For you, he'd be kind of perfect."
Henry has been active in the local BDSM scene for years and there’s no shortage of men who’d love nothing more than to find themselves at his mercy. But Henry is on a break. He’s not looking for a new partner, but he’s also not expecting to become so intrigued by the man that Nora insists he should meet. Alex is a newcomer on the scene who doesn’t yet know exactly what he wants, much less with who. There’s no way that he could turn out to be exactly who Henry needs. Right?
Date night (please toy with me) Explicit, canon verse, a night out leads to some fun with a toy. 4K. This… this is new. They’ve talked about trying this, about what it’d be like to conceal some of their intimacy in plain sight, about what it would feel like to try and reclaim what is most private to them by flaunting it without anyone even knowing, by daring to take risks again. They’ve agreed that they’d still need to be careful, but they’ve also agreed that it would be interesting. That it would be fun.
And apparently, Henry thinks tonight is the night for it. “Do you trust me, love?”
“Yeah.” Alex swallows. He picks up the box, studying it for a moment. “Do you want… what do you want me to do?”
“I want you to go to the bathroom,” Henry says evenly, “You’ll find everything you need in the box. Then I want you to come back and sit down. Can you do that for me?”
“Yeah. Of course.” Alex taps the box, grinning in Henry’s direction. “I expect we’ll be leaving soon?”
Henry smiles slyly. “If you’re good, yes.”
Ongoing works
Hashtag Soulmates Mature, AU, Henry writes fanfiction. 23K and 7 chapters so far. Alex is perfect and handsome, the golden boy, everybody’s secret crush. So there is absolutely no way that he is the reader who screeches in caps lock every time that Henry posts as much as a drabble. There’s no way. Except Alex just closed his browser fast as fucking lightning, but not before Henry had gotten a good glimpse of the page Alex had open: AO3. ‘Don't Stop Me Now’, Henry’s current wip. The one that Henry literally just updated.
Sweet Jesus. Could it really be?
That... is all! It’s been a productive summer. I’m very excited to continue writing Hashtag Soulmates, and also to start working on a few upcoming First Prince fics that I’m planning on writing. Stay tuned for fics! ♡
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