#like dont get me wrong i deeply appreciate each and every person who reads my works and the newcomers are no exception

[shadowturtlesstuff]

you belong with me- thomas

this is thomas’s pov. i like doing both pov (i dont know if you can tell) but there are a few things im working on but enjoy!

“How could-? Are you even hearing yourself speak you fool? No- no. God, you know what I'm done.” I throw my phone on the bed, scaring Sir Issac in the process. I cringe even as I begin pacing back and forth. It was truly absurd, utterly crazy, that William lived in such a world where he would ever consider me being with anyone but Audrey Rose. Whilst we weren’t together per say, it was clear there would be no one else for me. The fact that he had already caused trouble for us once makes this even more irritating. I turn and find Audrey Rose already watching me. Her hair disheveled in a messy bun which tells me she is studying or researching something. I give her what I hope classifies as a smile and watches as she pulls out a familiar notebook, searches for her pen and then writes: Are you okay?

Of course she would ask if I'm okay and not what happened; using our absurd way of talking to each other instead of using the window or even messaging me. I shake my head but smile and make my way towards my window. The wind hits me, sending my hair flying but I embrace the fresh air as I watch her move herself off her bed, cursing at her stiff legs. She has been there most of the day, not moving and lost in her work and music. She curses once more as she hits her elbow on the window sill and she looks truly adorable. “You have a wicked mouth Wadsworth. Did you not learn cursing is unlady-like?” I try to ignore the other thoughts I have of her mouth.

“Fuck you,” she scowls at me. It always makes me smile hearing her curse, she always sounds confident in them somehow, making them seem so real. The first time she swore was the time she failed a science test. Well, not exactly a fail, but she was marked wrong by a substitute teacher who didn't like her so she decided to berate him in front of the whole class, starting with her shouting ‘bullshit!’ as soon as she saw her results.

“I assume dear wadsworth, you want to ask what has made me so irate?” As much as I would rather climb across the gap and make her watch another one of my romance films again instead of talk about it, I know that I should. Otherwise it'll eat at my mind when I go to sleep. As well as it being used against wadsworth in some way too.

“Perhaps,” she says, eyes sparkling with mischief as she rests her head on the wall and brings her knees to her chest, “perhaps I merely wanted to ask if Sir Issac was okay.” I nearly burst out laughing at her. She has a love hate relationship with my cat. She pretends to hate the ‘beast’ but will often let him sit on her lap or pet him whenever she is over here. When I first got him, she stayed round mine for the night and we settled him. Even then she had tried to pretend not to like him but she doesn’t remember that she fell asleep with him curled up next to her. I had to sleep on my chair because they were sprawled out, surrounded by her work.

“Really? You always refer to him as a little pest, whereas as with me, I am your dearest person, of course you want to know how I am feeling. My son is good though, very energetic today.” Said cat brushes against me and I look at him, the memory still clear in my mind. Yet I know I need to stop avoiding the problem, Audrey Rose is too kind to push me into telling her, and will let me avoid it for as long as I need. It is not the worst thing we’ve faced yet I still hate it.  

“I assume you saw the call, well that was William,” she nods, her face already falling at the mention of his name, “Yes, awful. Apparently though, there is a rumor that I'm with Miss whitehall. I don't even remember her first name, but he was convinced of our relation despite my protests. Madness.” I scoff at the sheer audacity of him and his friends. Sir Issac nuzzles into me, knowing that I'm upset and wanting to change that. As well get attention.

“Is this the same William that had convinced everyone I was dating him?”

“Yes.” Anger rolls through me at the memory of that disaster. What hurt Audrey Rose the most is that she truly thought he was a friend. She’d explained that with me she didn't try, but everyone else she had too, so when they'd fallen into easy conversations during lessons she really enjoyed having someone other than me and lize and her uncle to talk to.

“Bitch. Why on earth is he such a problem? Where on earth does he even make this assumptions about us?'' She begins pacing, her mind working faster than her steps as she no doubt recalls everything that happened. I am inclined to do the same. I can still remember her walking into her room, looking at me and falling apart. I climbed into her room and held her letting her calm before she spoke to me. I cried as well, slightly, knowing how much that friendship had meant to her. I'd made us watch a really cheesy film and she'd fallen asleep in my arms.

“I have never once,”I say to drag her back to the present “shown interest in her, nor will I ever.” I drag a hand through my hair. “She's just- a lot.” the first time id met her she was just very loud and demanding, I couldn't stand her. I'd watched her insult so many people for being themselves, for liking childish things, or in Audrey Rose's case, morbid things.

“That is the understatement of the year Cresswell. Besides, you wouldn’t work, she's too- your,” she falls silent, either lost in thought or not wanting to tell me those thoughts. Her cheeks turn a light shade of pink and I smile. She doesn't meet my eye as she sits herself down and I raise my brows as she asks what? As though she didn’t just show me that she has many inappropriate thoughts about me. She curls herself into a ball, hiding in her oversized hoodie, which is mine that I'm not sure she realizes is.

“I’m what? I'd be delighted to know your innermost thoughts of me, Wadsworth.”

“You're absurd but fine I'll elaborate,” she rolls her eyes though, even as the pink deepens slightly. Her eyes focused on my own. So I face her fully, like an astute student in class dying to seek knowledge, “you're too kind, too witty and clever and Whitehall wouldn’t appreciate you enough. You-” she stops talking immediately, as though whatever is in her mind she cant voice. Her face twists into something unreadable and I get the sense that she would rather not ever speak about me being with someone other than her.

“You forgot to mention how handsome I look, or how charming I am, but I'll take it,” she suppresses an eye roll and her smile and ignores the way my voice deepens ever so slightly. I pat Sir Issac off me and earn a whine but he jumps off me. I reach out to her and she leans, her hair ripping free of her bun with little effort from the wind. Her dark curls cling to her face, framing her perfectly too. It makes me want to hold her face in her hands and kiss her deeply.

“I don’t need to inflate your ego further Thomas.”

She inflates my ego every time she smiles at me, whether that be because of my joke or simply smiling at me because I am her friend. “I know but it would've been nice. I did say the inner most thoughts but we’ll get there. Audrey rose-I don’t belong with her, you’re right, my heart would never belong to her especially since it already belongs to someone else.”

She blinks at me, her face falling flat. Silence falls over us and I realize she thinks I'm talking about someone else. And idea forms, one that she may hate me for but one I'm going to do anyway.

“I-” she begins, no doubt going to tell me she wants me to be happy without whomever I'm with. I stand before she can say anything and she stares at me for a second so I motion for her to move. I want to be able to hold her and be next to her. I climb over and set myself on her window sill, leaving enough space for her on the other side. “I hope you are happy with whomever has your heart Cresswell.” I try to hide my smirk at her. Preparing myself for the worst. Preparing myself for her calling me an idiot and that she doesn't like me that way. I wouldn’t blame her.

“Of course I'll be happy. She's amazing. Let me tell you all about her. I met her many years back and was instantly smitten with her emerald eyes and her quick witted mind. How she sings to herself every morning and how her dark curls fall across her face whenever she sits on her bed and reads. I adore her curiosity for the dead and how wicked her mouth is and how delightful it is to watch your mind at work. I love when she shows me a note through the window to see if I'm doing okay and-”

“Wait,” she blurts out, her cheeks red now and eyes bright with shock, “Thomas, are you talking about me?”

I can’t help but laugh. She is one of the smartest people I have ever met yet she, just like I do, struggles with social cues sometimes. Albeit it she is better than I will ever be. “Yes, finally! I thought I'd have to keep speaking forever till you realized it was you.” Not that that would be a problem. As of right now I'd happily list the way her eyes are filled with both relief and shock and happiness and it's a look I want to capture whenever I need a reminder of something good in life.

She scowls at me, ignoring her blush. I take a risk and reach out my hand, moving closer so that her back is straightened on the wall, her attention fixed on me completely. No fake scowl or bright smile, just an intent gaze I can't quite pick apart. I rest my hand on her leg, now free of her (my) hoodie. “Wadsworth, darling, I have been in love with you for some time now.”

I stare at my best friend, my love, as she tries to convince herself this is real. It's truly adorable. Then her eyes widen slightly as she whispers: “I have something to show you.”

She jumps from my grip, running the short distance to her bed and then shuffling through the mountain of books and papers sprawled there until she pulls out a notebook and shakes it, letting a piece of paper drop. It's folded and creased a lot, as though it has been opened often. I watch as she faces me and slowly, her face fixed on the sheet as she opens and holds it out to me.

I read the words: I love you.

I love you.

I read them over and over and over, trying to imprint it on my brain. Her delicate handwriting and her confession reaches out to me and I desperately want to reach out to her, hold her against me and press kisses and make her laugh.

Audrey rose takes her seat across from me and I instantly reach out, holding her leg again. Anything to reassure me this is real. “I wrote that the night after you came here the second time.” her voice is soft, her curls once again framing her face as she looks at me, “Something in me clicked that no matter what you'd find a way to comfort me. Not save me, but work alongside me. I wanted to tell you I just couldn't face it. But I needed to acknowledge it. So I wrote it down, and I look at it every time we use the note system; I try to convince myself to show you.” Audrey Rose would never need saving, never want it, yet her words save my own dark heart that she has felt this way for so long, and we have somehow lived alongside each other and been so blinded by our love entwined with fears that it has taken so long to finally acknowledge them.

I debate pinching myself. Only minutes ago was I miserable and upset, yet Audrey Rose has taken her time to cheer me up. Yet even if I had left it as I am fine, even though she knows me better than that, she wouldn't have pressed for answers; would have waited for me to open up. So i lean in and the world stops as we both wait until our lips are pressed together It's a light kiss, one full of promise and wonder. When I lean back we are both smiling so freely my heart feels as though it too is reaching out to hold Audrey rose. We trade kisses, never wanting to leave this loop but I do lean back away from her. I’m already too drunk on her kisses, I need to breathe, to process this so I can remember it. Once my back is against the wall I pull her, twisting so her back is against mine, leaning into my warmth and I rest my head atop hers. Trying to contain my smiles but to no avail. My hand covers hers and as i look down at her i notice she doesn't bother controlling her smile. It is a magnificent sight.  

“Now would be a perfect time to tell me how handsome I am, my love.”

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#sjtr #hpd #efh #ctd #thomas cresswell #audrey rose wadsworth #wadsworth #cresswell #cressworth #stalking jack the ripper #hunting prince dracula #escaping from houdini #capturing the devil

[musashi]

whatever im just directly responding to this one because apparently if i don’t you’ll just take every other post i make out of context

Okay, for anyone concerned, here’s the end to the tumblr user musashi saga. To reiterate, the original sin is that I blocked her without comment. 

the original sin is that you did something i’ve repeatedly stated is heavily traumatic. reducing it to you blocked me is an intentional downplaying of my feelings and baggage. i have a disclaimer in my BYF to not befriend me if you are incapable of ending a friendship civilly and instead ghost/abandon people. you read the BYF. You read the disclaimer. you did it anyways. you blocked me without a word. i thought we were friends, and you sliced me out of your life without so much as an explanation.

Because I saw her post this shit beating others down all the time. And I got tired. And then she did it to me.

i literally don’t know what you’re referring to. there’s no link here. i don’t beat anyone down. sometimes people mistreat me and i get rightfully mad at them for mistreating me. beyond that, i literally just blog about pokemon. in another post you said you unfollowed me over hazbin hotel or some shit, which is an animated show i’ve never seen and have no opinions on.

[screencap of a personal post where i’m clearly panicking]

cool! nice one. real empathy and compassion showing here.

I didn’t say any of this, aside from that we weren’t friends.  (edited to point this out.) We literally had only talked on a cursory level a handful of times. 

you’re literally missing the point. you said that we weren’t friends, and used that as your defense for literally blocking me. it doesn’t MATTER if you personally thought we weren’t friends. I thought we were friends. I thought you liked me. my feelings were hurt, i was crushed. just because you think its NBD “she probably doesn’t even remember me” doesn’t mean you are absolved. You may have thought that, and I believe you thought that, but you were mistaken. This made me even more upset--not only did my friend block me, but my friend didn’t even consider us friends.

even if i didn’t consider us friends, what you did to me was wrong. but the fact that i did and you don’t just means it hurts more. that’s literally it. i recognize that i didn’t mean to you what you meant to me, but that literally does not mean anything you did was okay. i don’t know how to spell this out further!!!!!

She also says that I am falsely claiming that I did not block her – a claim I never made– and also that I never apologized for unfollowing her, when in fact I did, repeatedly, trying to get this to stop.

YOU DID NOT APOLOGIZE. I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU ARE TRYING TO GAIN FROM LYING ABOUT THIS. you keep saying this! what do i have to do to prove you didn’t apologize? does ANYONE reading this have ANY ideas??? Elliot literally won’t state, anywhere that i can FIND, WHERE he supposedly apologized. alledgedly, he’s sent me apologies MULTIPLE TIMES EVEN??? i dont know where i’m supposed to be looking. my tumblr DMs? my tumblr asks i think? i pretty obsessively read my ask box, i don’t have access to DMs but i never received any, of that I am sure. this is important to me and i would remember! you have not contacted me! the closest you have come to contacting me, besides publicly talking about me on your blog, is frantically sending my friend marcus a bunch of messages about me and then BLOCKING HIM AS WELL. ALL of this i learned because marcus came to me incredibly confused (as was i) asking why my name was coming up all of a sudden. that is ALL i have heard from you. there have been no apologies, no one on one chats. it is WAY easier for you to prove to your followers that you sent an apology than for me to prove that i didn’t receive one, so can you please? can you give me ANY ideas on how to prove that i’m telling the fucking truth? literally WHAT do i have to gain from lying about this????? do you think i get some kind of sick enjoyment out of this shit??? do you think having someone i thought was my friend on the opposite side of things makes me happy??????? do you think i enjoy this?? i don’t understand what you think i have to gain from lying! i didn’t receive an apology, a clarification, a single word from you! this is all the talking you have done with me. public talking, and talking through marcus. you have not contacted me. the last time i heard anything from you was probably an ask or dm you sent me months ago. i wish you would either believe me or just admit you didn’t apologize and send me even one message and have EVEN ONE CONVERSATION with me! i don’t understand how THIS is easier for you! i don’t understand why THIS is the way you did things, and why you’re insisting you tried any other approach!!! i literally just want to understand!!!!!

Literally please compare this post to what I have ACTUALLY said about the situation on my blog. 

ok i will

literally right here you posted an interaction between us. it’s just an ask where you asked me a question about getting to your ask and i responded. you go on to say ‘how am i supposed to get ‘friendship’ from this?’ and then you go on to talk about how i answered some other asks before yours, denoting the asks i answered as ‘friends’ and (correct me if im misunderstanding!!!) implying the ones i didn’t answer as ‘not friends.’ but that doesn’t make any sense. my friendship level with people has nothing to do with how readily i am to answer their asks. what asks i answer depends on time, energy, how compelled i am with the topic at hand, and a lot of other things. im looking at this screencap and i don’t understand how I’M supposed to get “not friends” from it. you posting this made me feel like you were reading deeply into every single interaction i had with you... i dont understand how i was supposed to know that the way i responded here was “unfriendly,” and i don’t understand how i’m supposed to know that me answering certain asks in a certain order has any connotation other than the literal one-wendy is answering certain asks in a certain order. and yeah sometimes i burnout or lose steam and just delete all my asks or don’t get to some. i didn’t realize i was being monitored on that too... thats what i was talking about in my personal post you very rudely put on display. i just thought we were friends, i didn’t realize there were all these... micro-interactions i had to be monitoring? i didn’t realize this stuff would make a difference about if you liked me back or not, i thought we were just friends and we liked each other already.

you also said:

She genuinely never called me by my name. She didn’t know how to spell it because she’d never spelled it before. My friends know that my name is not spelled like that because it’s 1 letter off from a very famous person. This wasn’t a guilt trip; it was truly just hurtful for her to address me by name the first time when she was calling me an asshole.

i didn’t know this was a social faux pas either. i am honestly really bad with names and even if i’ve known someone for years i will nervously check their blog to make sure i am getting their name right. i didn’t nervously check yours because when someone hurts me i can’t bear to look at their social media for fear of what i might find there. but i think “she spelled my name wrong and therefore we weren’t friends” (my understanding at least) is kind of drastic. if that is the case, i really don’t have as many friends as i thought i did.

sorry i did that, in any case. i’ll learn from it and not do it in the future.

I hope doing so makes it clear the extent to which a popular blogger (WHO I LITERALLY HARDLY SPOKE TO BEFORE THIS) 

like you literally just keep twisting the knife in. i don’t know how to tell you that how much i am able to talk to people has nothing to do with how much i like them and if i consider them a friend or not... this is hurtful. you keep bringing up how little we talked, or how i talked to you, and its hurtful. i just don’t understand why it’s so hard for you to understand that, esp when you’re autistic also. how have you not experienced exactly what you’re doing to me? someone who doesn’t understand the way you value a person’s company because they’re not allistic ways? i can’t talk to my friends all the time. sometimes, the most i can do is a like in their direction, a response to something they sent me, or even just silently reading their posts. 

what about this is not clicking? my ways of showing love and appreciation are different. you were in my private discord server, something that is HEAVILY vetted due to past abuse and full of people i consider my closest friends. you were someone i followed on tumblr, something i do not easily extend because of just how much rhetoric on this website upsets and overwhelm me. and regardless of if we didn’t talk enough by your standards, you still liked so many of my posts and i regarded you fondly and enjoyed seeing you and considered you my friend. just because my ways of showing appreciation were not in alignment with your ways or your standards, that doesn’t mean they don’t exist or matter.

has been intentionally manipulating my words and actions to make herself feel better about losing a follower she thought was cool, through her own actions at that. 

i’m not a “popular blogger,” who “lost a follower,” i’m a person who lost a friend. if i am really this... image you’re painting of me, of some social media influencer with “tens of thousands of followers” (i’m. not?? i don’t even have one 10k, let alone several) then why would i care about losing ONE?

i don’t know how to spell this out clearer. i’m traumatized. my trauma centers around repetitive abandonment from friends, more specifically blocking/softblocking/deactivating/moving blogs. to paint you a picture, there are certain posts on this website that actively trigger me despite being harmless, because they were the last post at the top of a friend’s blog before the friend remade their entire social media just to leave me in the dust. sometime’s i’ll be scrolling and some errant funnyman text post will send me spiraling.

and that’s what you did to me. that is why i am upset. it has nothing to do with making me feel better, it has nothing to do with manipulation, i do not need to manipulate this situation and to say that about a borderline having a fucking breakdown because someone perpetuated a horrible trauma she’s lived through time and time again is fucked up, wrong, and shitty. you are constantly downplaying my feelings by acting like just because you didn’t consider me a friend, what you did was okay. you refuse to talk to me one on one, or show me any indication of the apology you keep claiming you sent. and now you are acting as though this speaking out i am doing has to do with some ~tumbler dot corn callout dramaz~ instead of a person lamenting and hurting on her personal blog about yet another person hurting her in a very easily avoidable way.

i don’t know what “my own actions” are that drove you away. you didn’t have a conversation with me about them, or if you did i never saw it. i just woke up one day and you had blocked me. i still don’t know why you blocked me. i just know all the reasons you think it was an okay thing to do.

You can genuinely read back to see that what she claims I am saying and doing is at best self-aggrandizingly misinterpreted, and at worst actively and maliciously misleading.

maybe things wouldn’t get misinterpreted if you instead communicated with me instead of just ghosting me and trying to talk yourself out of the guilt of it. i don’t want to misinterpret anything, i just am having trouble understanding why you did any of this to me and your answers to all those questions aren’t helping me understand because i can’t ask about them in real time.

I am reiterating the same shit because it’s the truth. Her desperation to convince her tens of thousands of followers that I’m “lying”, while asserting that I said things that I did truly actually not and you can literally just go see that on my blog in writing, is tremendously telling.

i clarified some here, but i still don’t know where i’m supposed to be looking for this apology. 

again, i don’t have tens of thousands of followers, and me posting on this blog isn’t about reaching an audience or whatever, it’s about... processing the pain you’ve caused me.

I will say it bluntly now: You are not a person I would ever want to be friends with. 

thats fine, but i wish you would have just told me that instead of doing this. a lot of my friendships end because i was incompatible with a person who doesn’t feel the need to traumatize me to avoid having a conversation. you could’ve just shot me a DM and told me it wasn’t meant to be, and i could’ve thanked you for your time and moved on with my life.

I cannot be emotionally manipulated in such transparent ways, and I am not impressed by you. If that makes you mad, I hope the fire keeps fizzling.

my suffering won’t make your life better, and demonizing me won’t lessen the guilt of what you did to me. you’ll heal a lot faster if you just admit to even just yourself that maybe you could’ve handled things more gracefully. 

this is exactly what you did to me. and you confronted one of my friends asking for space/understanding about why it hurt you. right here you literally ask marcus, word for word, what i wanted for you. the hypocrisy you’re showing me is astounding.

#tenderskeptic #smeargletail #also dont think i haven't seen all the wild shit you said to marcus like... come on. #long post #also please stop calling me musashi its a japanese name and im a white girl #if you MUST call me by my username you can call me mu for short #but my name is jessie or wendy please do not call me that #it says in my about not to call me that and has for YEARS #i know you like disregarding my about pages but this one is MORE IMPORTANT

[mystt]

i have a lot of thoughts about the state of homestuck right now and no one to talk to about it. im so sorry

i really want to love june egbert with all my heart, accept her with open arms!!! i relate so much to the idea of a weird awkward guying going thru a lot of his life feeling like something was wrong, like there was a disconnect between himself and the rest of the world, only to eventually realize that the problem was so deeply rooted that he never even realized that it could BE the problem! all of the art has been amazing, of seeing this just-out trans girl finally ecstactic to be herself and her friends meeting her for the first time all over again. the #juneisreal party on twitter yesterday was the most joyous and connected ive seen the homestuck fandom be for a long time!! but, because this is homestuck, i dont think everything about this situation is all sunshine and rainbows, not in the longterm anyway.....

frankly, a lot of ppl aren’t too happy about this, and they have every right to feel that way.  i can sympathize with those people because tbh i wasn’t a huge fan of roxy being transmasc in the epilogues (to be fair, theyve grown a lot on me now that ive had some time to think about it / see content involving them)! john has been an established character for a long time, someone that a lot of ppl have grown a very deep and personal connection with! its totally possible that someone read homestuck, interpreted john’s character in a very similar way to i just did, and come at the totally opposite outcome! maybe john is actually a trans guy and has a lot of trepidation navigating sexuality and gender because of it. the point is that all of it is valid, and as long as everyone respects eachother’s headcanons we’ll all be fine and dandy, right?

well, with hussie making her ‘real,’ the fandom dynamic around june (and roxy) content will inevitably change. the letter that hussie wrote for the epilogue is a bunch of garbage but it basically boils down to the epilogues not really being an epilogue but an on/off ramp to whatever homestuck ends up being in the future. this all but guarantees more june/transmasc roxy content, which im totally down for, but will that content be as ‘dubiously canon’ as the epilogues were? and if not, what happens then? 

are we supposed to believe that basically all homestuck content from this point on is al-a-carte, where each reader is able to pick and choose what is and isn’t canon? we were already doing that, but that’s the fandom’s job! call me crazy but there has to be some separation between fanon and canon! otherwise, you get complete mob-rule anarchy, which we’ve already seen wrt roxy and june!

homestuck is in a lose-lose situation with its characters at this point. the core appeal of the WHOLE DAMN COMIC is that all of its characters have very defined personalities and very amorphous everything else. homestuck is so everlasting because every reader comes out of it with their own permutations of each character in their head.....almost like.....a headcanon, u could call it!

but at the same time, homestuck has to have more ~representation~ in its cast nowadays. its just the trend that all media is following as people demand to see more of themselves reflected in the things they enjoy. that is absolutely valid in most forms of media where characters are well-defined in their identity, but that doesn’t work with homestuck, because no matter what you WILL be stepping on the toes of someone’s version of a character that they’ve been fostering in their own head for god knows how long

i think there ARE ways to make homestuck’s cast more diverse in a concrete way without making everyone upset! the first is to......make new characters......if homestuck really is entering a new era, why can’t it burst onto the scene with a new rainbow cast of misfits for everyone to imprint themselves onto? not enough trans mlm rep? why not make a new one (that isnt lanque)! not enough canon autistic rep? hire an autistic person to make an autistic character! friendsim would’ve been perfect for this, but they didnt take advantage of it basically AT ALL (and where they did they......kinda fucked up lmao)

something else ive seen suggested is to establish new identities for characters that don’t fundamentally change who they are. if you’re like me and you think homestuck needs more trans girls, why would you take JOHN of all ppl and make him mtf when you have a perfectly good rose....or jade....or terezi (or roxy but eh. thats not on the table anymore) right there!  

and i think its important to say that i dont blame this at all on the original creators of the june headcanon, i appreciate what theyve done and the works theyve inspired a lot! its not their fault, but things have really REALLY got out of hand. with pesterquest on the horizon, i think we’re in a fascinating and nervous period for homestuck. things are going to be changing soon, and i dont know if its gonna be for the better :C

#homestuck #homestuck epilogues #homestuck fandom #look. im hoping at least SOMEONE will read this a;lkdsjf #masc roxy ment

[brightokyolights]

 rules:

always repost the rules

answer the questions given to you by the one who tagged you!

give 11 questions

tag 11 people

I was tagged by the lovely @davidfors5 thank you so much  😭 😭 😭

1. fave character from each remake and why?

Skam Austin: Poonam Para. I know that she’s a side character and honestly i was close to saying Jo, Kelsey or Shay but she’s my fav. I think i just see a lot of myself in her and i like how she’s a completely new and different character. She’s funny and upfront and unique and I feel extremely understood and I hope we get to see more of her.

Skam France: Imane Bakhellal. Again i was really close to saying Yann or Lucas but i think just purely because of how much i can relate to Imane and understand her she’s my fav.

Druck: David Schreibner. While i definitely relate to Matteo the most and love Amira to no end, David is hands down my favourite. He’s such an icon and he especially makes me love Druck so much. I can’t really explain why he’s my favourite so much, this one is really more of like i feel it in my soul that he’s my favourite and that’s why.

Skam España: Joana Bianchi. I... I wanted to say Amira or Lucas because i love them so freaking much and this one was honestly the hardest for me to decide but it is Joana. I don’t know what it is but i just deeply care for her so much.

Skam NL: Liv Reijners. Although i really do love like all the NL characters. Liv i decided to pick because she can sing and i love her style and she’s strong and independent and i feel like she’s a really unique noora and i just. love everything about her. I can’t find a single fault  🙈

2. fave musical moment?

Skam: håper du har plass playing when the girls go to get Sana, i think we all cry every time and i still listen to that song to this day

Skam Austin: honestly… cloutie 4 lyfe go listen to clout from grandma’s closet on soundcloud i stg their talent… is unparalleled (honorary mention, when Megan’s upset and crying and goes to see Marlon and they play the fricking meme song and stop it at “run.” i die every time)

Skam France: what else could i say other than when Lucas played ‘i love you’ on the piano like chills lich rally chills luv (honorary mention how the music goes all soft the first time Lucas sees Eliott, again iconic)

Druck: this is hard like i kind of just wanna say whenever they’ve ever used a song it’s been absolutely perfect, i think i’ll say during the first kiss clip though when they go to hold their breath and the music with the water sound effects like aaaa ded

Skam España: the last clip when they go to kiss and ‘I Follow Rivers’ starts playing like... it’s just perfect like everything comes full circle and im CRYING

Skam NL: another remake that always picks perfect music, i think my fav is whenever Liv goes to the mic to sing like i love her singing voice so much

3. if you could make your own season, who would it be about and what would happen?

I have thought about this so much it’s almost funny lmao. There’s just so much potential with Skam and then if you factor in the remakes like... absolutely spoilt for choice omfg. I’d love a Jonas season because he’s great but i really dont know what it’d even be about, Mahdi is another character i’ve always felt immensely interested in and i would love to know more about him. In the middle of typing this i’ve come to a decision actually lmao. Two words- BALLOON. SQUAD. They are literally my favourite thing about og ever seriously and Elias is my favourite Skam character. So idk maybe a season about them? and maybe about their friend group and how they’re all drifting apart or brotherhood or like healthy male friendships where they are there for each other and shit or about Even becoming friends with them again or IDK. but i know i’d have loved a season centered on them and if i had a greater mind i’d be able to come up with a good plot for them too lmao.

4. rank the sanas ( I’m evil I know )

This is literally the worst question I’ve ever seen and yes you are evil

Sana, Amira TM, Amira N, Imane, Zoya, Esra, Imaan.

BUT THEY ARE ALL EQUALLY MY FAVOURITE 

5. fave season from each remake and why?

Skam Austin: Unpopular Opinion but i really loved season 1, however, I think i have to say season 2 because of how fucking well they developed all the characters like giving the cast input into the story was the best decision Skam Austin could’ve ever made. Also, Clout From Grandma’s Closet? like need i say more

Skam France: I only watched 3 and 4 and my fav is 3. Very good homage to OG with the story telling and made me absolutely fall in love with Lucas and Eliott. Like I went through the same motions as i did when i watched OG and it was nice to be reminded of that. Also liked the small changes they made like the Polaris thing that was iconic

Druck: SEASON 3. what an emotional fucking roller coaster. They had me hooked every single minute of the day and still do now. I love Matteo and how they changed the story up like im still pissed about the pacing kind of but honestly i loved season 3 and still rewatch it. the music was perfect, development of the characters, the softness. everything was just so good

Skam NL: As much as i love Liv I have to say season 1. it was goregously done, i loved the aesthetic and Isa is such a realistic and relatable character. Also her moments with Kes and Lucas and the moments with the girl squad, like it was just a really iconic start to an awesome series.

Skam España: I’ve only watched season 2 but i know even if i watched season 1 i would still say season 2 lmao. Honestly there is not a SINGLE thing they did wrong. like the story was perfect, the honour they did to og, how they switched the relationships up. it genuinely was just fucking perfect (except the whole panphobia thing. if that comment wasn’t said spain would have the best remake)

6. What’s your opinion on s2? what do you like and dislike the most? which remake made the best s2? (españa doesn’t count)

I am going to be truthful here and say that when i was first watching OG and watched season 2 I did like it but after growing up a bit and reflecting I now honestly really dont. like i’ve tried to avoid that season in remakes as much as i can (i’ve failed and the only noorhell i’ve not seen is frances one). I think what got me at first was the whole like layers thing to William. how there was more to him and also like the typical fanfic tropey moments between them. what i like about season 2 is the SA storyline, like that is an extremely important topic that needs to be talked about more so i like how it brought light to that and also how they show Noora handling the situation and how the girl squad are and i <3. What i dislike is how William uses Vilde and is so manipulative and ANNOYING omfg. Like i can’t explain how much his entitled rich ass frustrates me and how broken down Noora is by him.

7. what representation would you like to see in Skam (other than more wlw)?

Honestly i’d like to see more ethnic minorities tbh, especially like maybe some east asian people? I want skam to be the type of thing that no matter who you are you can see yourself represented in it and while the remakes and og do an alright job of it, i’d love to see more. i’ll say this this til the day i die- REPRESENTATION IS IMPORTANT

8. what country would you like to see a remake and why?

My biased ass is screaming Skam Scotland because like i would be able to relate to it so much and I’d love it with my entire soul but also just somewhere where the majority of the population isnt white. would be lovely for it to be in like India or Pakistan maybe so that I could personally relate to it but honestly anywhere with POC would be an absolute WIN for me. i suggest Skam Scotland where the girl and boy squad are south asians/east asians + black with the good ol’ token white friend! Hire me

9. fave head canon?

Honestly any (head)canon that says anyone is not cishet is like 👌 

10. sort characters into Hogwarts houses

I was going to do the characters from all the remakes when i realised... they’re all essentially the same each time I- anyways lmao

Hufflepuff -  Magnus, Even, Chris, Vilde, Mikael, Yousef, Linn

Slytherin - Sana, Isak

Gryffindor - Mahdi, Elias, Eva, Adam, Mutasim, Eskild

Ravenclaw - Jonas, Noora

This is mostly based off pure gut instinct idk

11. tell me your best crossover idea

How all the remakes seem to have the girl squads going on summer roads trips I kinda had this thought that maybe like the groups in each of the different remakes and og decide to go on a big friends holiday and everyone ends up in the same place and they all meet. none of the isaks really get along with each other, all the evens of course become best friends on the spot etc etc. i just want everyone to automatically become best friends im not good at coming up with ideas for these sorts of things sorry lmao

~

For my 11 questions:

Which remake/og sqaud do you think you would personally fit into the most?

What is your favourite remake and why?

What is objectively the best remake and why?

Opinions on each of the girl squads?

Favourite hairstyle out of all the remakes? (this includes any hijab styles of the Sanas)

Who do you think from og/remakes would have a youtube channel and what would they post about? (not including hei briskeby or lucas rubio’s yt channel)

Pick someone you think is underappreciated from og/remakes and explain why you think they should be appreciated more

Favourite outfit/clothing item?

Which character do you think is most similar to you?

Do you like the Eva season (season 1)?

Insert your own question that you’d like to answer!

I will tag @thedavideffect @pansexualevenbech @2ndbest @joanascris @hufflepuff-ish @matteoluigiflorenzi @liveterna2 @bbibbicole @xxrps @happoa @eleaha but don’t do this if you don’t want to! and if you see this but i haven't please go for it i would’ve tagged everyone humanly possible but alas i had to pick 11 lmao but i love reading different peoples thoughts so yeah. pls do if you want to <3 

#omd this took me so long because of number 3 im so sorry #like i just culdnt think of what id do if i had the power to make a season #tag yourself im me taking this way too seriously #thanks for tagging me dani ly #about me #long post #skam #skam austin #skam france #skam españa #skam nl #druck

[inevitably-johnlocked]

I'm a bit embarrassed to ask this. Have you ever read a fic that, stylistically, it's beautiful, linguistically it's tight, and it's obvious the author poured their whole self into constructing the plot, crafting the world, and nailing down the characterizations, but... You just don't get it? Like, perhaps there's some insight you're missing, and it's almost there, you think maybe you're close to getting what the author is trying to portray, but you just can't make the connection necessary?

(Embarrassed nonny continued) You even reread to make sure you didn’t skip anything, but it’s like it just seems that something missing? Or that you’re the one missing something vital? So you go to the comments to see if anyone else is confused, but all you see are lovely, supportive compliments about how beautiful the story is (and it is), or how heartwrenching it is (usually so). But you seem to be the only one not getting it?

(Embarrassed nonny cont. again) Is it destructive to let the author know that I think a story is beautiful in it’s telling, but that I don’t quite understand it? I don’t want to offend the author, who has clearly worked very hard, and I appreciate them so much. But, I want to understand the story they’re telling, even if I’m the only one not getting it. If that even makes any sense. P.S.- thanks for always taking time to listen to fandom woes and fielding requests. You’re a champion! ❤

Hi Nonny!

First of all, there’s nothing for you to be embarrassed about! Stories are partly about authorial intent, and partly about reader interpretation; no two people will interpret a story the same, and no author SHOULD expect a reader to interpret their story exactly as the author intended. SHERLOCK is a perfect example of this (the writers SAY they meant it to be one thing and literally the ENTIRE FANDOM is divided on what’s actually being shown on screen), or if you want to be more classical, the works of Shakespeare as well.

In fact, Shakespeare is a perfect example of your problem: I love Shakespeare: it’s beautifully written, it sounds lovely to the ear, and it invokes imagery based on how someone interprets it. But I sure as heck have NO idea what I read until someone explained it to me, or how I SHOULD have interpreted it (which, is oxymoronic to my point, I know…). Only after I hear how someone else interpreted the work, I can then RE-READ a work and begin to understand what was meant by it, and then develop my own interpretations. 

I’ve read a few fics by a couple authors in this fandom where I LOVED their writing, but I had NO idea what was happening until I re-read the fics… it’s a reading comprehension thing with me, I’m sure (my brain tends to move a bit quicker than I can read and talk, and in turn it also tends to wander when my eyes aren’t going fast enough, LOL), but a lot of times, if I just read a fic a second time I can then grasp the words my brain omitted the first time and then really enjoy and love the fic. I hate that about me, but that’s how my brain works… Perhaps it may be the same with your brain? If a fic is well written and you enjoyed it but just had some comprehension issues, perhaps a second read-through will help you as it has done with me :)

So, now to answer your question: if after reading a fic, and you don’t understand it, is it okay to ask the authorial intent of the story? Unfortunately, there is no yes-or-no answer to this question, Lovely, as every author is different. Personally – and this is just for me speaking, and what I would do or what I would not mind if I were the author – I think it’s alright, so long as you are respectful to them! Dig around their user pages and you can often find ways to interact with the author outside of their fics, or information about whether or not they want to read criticism etc. on their stories. If an author doesn’t want any interaction, they’ll be very clear about it, but most authors have ways to get in touch with them, so to ME that’s a saying “hey, if you have any questions, here’s how to get a hold of me!”. 

If they have a Tumblr with asks turned on, you can even do it like you have done for me here; write exactly what you mentioned, just tweak a few things: Mention how much you love their prose and their storytelling, and you can really feel how much love they put into the story. You found it interesting, though you’re unclear on a few parts. Ask them kindly how they intended for an audience to read it. Many creators appreciate honesty when talking about their works, so just be honest and say that you didn’t understand something and wouldn’t mind a bit of clarification about something. They can’t fault you for not understanding something, and if they do, well… I find that rather ableist, in my opinion: That’s like telling someone with dyslexia to just stop mixing up letters, or someone who’s native language isn’t English to just learn one of the most complex languages in the world with so many structure rules that make no sense half the time…. *shrugs* It’s harsh of me to say, I am sorry about that, writers, but reading comprehension doesn’t come easily for everyone.

ANYWAY, back to my point: An author, so long as you are respectful (and maybe peppering in some compliments and praise never hurts either… a lot of us creative-types have praise kinks) and don’t throw a backhanded compliment (like don’t say: “Your work is so amazing! Though I think you should make it easier for people to understand it, your words are too complex”), they will be more than happy to write out their intent for the story. Let them know it’s YOU who’s not understanding (so, “I have trouble understanding this part” as opposed to “you should make this work easier to read for everyone”… make the onus on YOU). DON’T be demanding (like, don’t say something that can be interpreted as “it’s YOUR responsibility to cater to MY need to understand”), and be patient for a reply.

You can see why this isn’t an easy yes-or-no answer, LOL. 

Essentially, kindness begets kindness, and respect begets respect. And –  this isn’t an attack on you personally with regards to this ask, because I know my audience are adorably shy beans – it might be a show of good faith and intentions to stay off anon when you ask your question; it shows the author that you aren’t being malicious, just simply a smol bean who loves stories and want to learn more about theirs. BUT, it IS okay to stay on-anon if you are shy / worried about not the author but other people interpreting it the wrong way, just make sure you tailor your question to the author in a respectful way that it comes across as respect. Perhaps something like this:

Hi, [author]! I really love your story, [story title]! It’s well-written and I can really tell how much you love this story and how much soul you put into it. I just had a question for you with regards to [name concern here]. [state question here]. I have trouble sometimes with [reading comprehension, English/language, dyslexia, etc.], and I would love to know what your ideas and thought process was for [character, plot point, situation, etc.]. Understanding what the author intended really helps me enjoy the stories even more than I already did, and your thoughts would be really helpful for when I re-read your story! Thank you so much for your time, and thank you for blessing us with this beautiful story!

Or something like that, LOL. And if you genuinely aren’t a native-language speaker, let them know that it’s not your first language so you’re just honestly not grasping a colloquialism that’s common in English but not in, say, German. It’s more common than you think! I’ve had people ask me in private before about a phrase I’ve written or about how they should interpret a meta of mine; I’ve never taken insult upon it, and in fact I love helping people understand my work so that they can enjoy other peoples’ content in the future. 

As an additional thought I just had, I think a good example of fandom-understanding-authors is, actually, the @johnlockficclub; every couple months or so we read new stories, and then at the end of the story, we ask authors our questions about their intent of the stories, and in turn the author gets an interesting (I hope) insight into how various people interpreted their stories. Even during the live-chats leading up to the author q-and-a, we all see how we each interpreted certain sections of the chapters we read that week, and see various viewpoints we never considered. So I think that is a wonderful way to see authorial intent vs. reader interpretation, and as far as I know, all the authors we’ve “interviewed” loved just getting that kind of feedback for their stories. You should join in on at least the author interviews just to see how they go and give you some ideas on how an author will take feedback. It’s so fascinating to me!

Just a fun little anecdote that oftentimes, it is a positive experience for an author because most of them love to talk about their stories – their stories are their children, and they care deeply for them, because it’s a part of them, and it’s an expression of their love. They WANT you to understand and enjoy their work. It’s a cyclical thing: if you understand their children so you can love them too, then they will love their fanbase and will want to continue to write since they received feedback that was validating to them that they produce work that people enjoy and want to know more about. 

Finally, I’d love for some authors to weigh in on their thoughts about this; would you be offended if someone loved your story but would want your clarification on some things, or want to know how you intended for the audience to perceive it? Please let us know!

Sorry this answer was so long, but I hope it helps!

P.S. Aww, you’re far too kind, Nonny! me. XD

#steph replies #my advice #fan fiction #authorial intent vs reader interpretation #my thoughts #Anonymous

[lvtvr]

I... kinda wanna hear the klahnce tropes you hate...

ok since i can never resist a chance to Vent i’m gonna share them under a cut but first some disclaimers

1) honestly oh my god if somebody else likes or enjoys this stuff i dont care!!!! i really do not care!!!! as long as you aren’t shoving it in my face or claiming that any alternative interpretations are Wrong™, i really really do not mind!!!! people like different things and that’s okay!!!!!! my intention truly isn’t to make some 15 year old w a fluffy fantasy feel guilty just bc some random person on the internet doesnt like the way they do things kdsjgsjdgskjdg so pls read this w a grain of salt

2) i’m not even really that passionate in my dislike of these things bc it’s just shipping and it literally doesn’t matter at all so this is basically just a list of my preferences

phew ok here we go

the kind of k/l made by lovers of l@ngst that makes the whole story about lance, and him just needing to be reassured of how incredible he is 

this almost always has keith tenderly holding lance and saying something along the lines of “you are the most beautiful boy in the universe and i will never let you go :) i love you so much lance :) to me, you are each and every star in the sky :)”

KEITH WOULD NEVER SAY THAT WHAT THEUF CK

this bothers me bc the dynamic they are portraying is closer to h@nce, sh@nce, or even she!th. both hunk and shiro are kind and loving people who are quick to verbally reassure their friends. but keith, the way i read him, prefers action to speech. he has other ways of expressing how deeply he feels about someone without waxing poetic

please don’t make discount h@nce, make actual h@nce instead i beg of u

also ppl editing the “br0gan3s hug” replacing shiro with lance and now suddenly it’s romantic and not familial lmao… just admit that u love the beauty of s/k and its passionate star-crossed lovers bound by fate angle and stop projecting it onto k/l which is a different beast entirely

“keith and lance have been in love with one another all along/are in love with one another at this current point in canon”

ok while i do admit i can appreciate some cute pining-at-the-garrison fanart, this one bugs me bc if we just look at canon………  they don’t like each other. they just. they don’t.

there’s definitely an admiration-jealousy thing going on from lance’s side, but not an outright crush

and lets be real while i understand the appeal of a headcanon where keith has crushed on lance since forever………………….. in canon, he literally had no idea who he was

i dislike this bc to me it sounds far too much like a love at first sight kind of thing, where they had crushes on each other without even really knowing one another

the appeal of k/l for me is the potential for growth they have AFTER they’ve spent months in space working as a team and getting to know who the other person really is, beyond first impressions

two people who are incompatible at first, developing and maturing until they can see new sides to each other, learn to work with one another, and choose to put their differences aside so that they can be together? that’s much more romantic, at least to me.

the “keith and lance are in love and shiro and keith are brothers and also shiro is dating allura :)” clusterfuck that mostly died after the vague statement about allura’s age that gave antis a collective bout of hives

im not saying there are no good fics with this constellation but there are 392580968230698409683478 fics that copypasted this relationship matrix. it is a fanon thing but ppl started treating it like canon which always gets me a little squinty. also i’m not all that into s/a so there’s that

keith and lance getting married. this is entirely a personal thing but it’s my biggest fucking squick and i have an irrational hatred for it it just fucking bothers me so much NEVER talk to me about it

this includes kidfic it makes me feel almost ill

marriage/domesticity/kids is the opposite of a romantic fantasy for me and thinking about it makes me really uncomfortable

while im more ok with it with some other pairings, i just cant see it happening w keith and lance

this is also where i see them start to clash, with lance’s big family and probable love of tradition and keith’s orphan-loner lifestyle. they’d probably want very different things

and it’s really stressful for me to think about so i’d rather just not lol

basically just fucking miss me with them wearing rings or anything like that unless u want me to let out bloodcurdling screams for 8 consecutive hours

anything making them too soft, squishy and blushy. while i totally get why people want to look at this kind of content it makes me want to die

this is usually paired with “everyone else exists just to support their relationship”

i’ve also seen their rivalry reduced to “yeah but i love you more asswipe” “no i love YOU more” “umm excuse you i clearly love you the most :/” like… lmao pls stop this they’d still argue about exactly the same things as before

while they’d definitely tell each other i love you and be soft with each other, it’d be in quiet, private moments. ultimately, they aren’t a gross sappy couple… they just aren’t…… they’re those friends who argue a lot about inconsequential things but also kiss each other when they’re alone and would die for each other without hesitation but will Never admit it

okay phew i think those are my Top Shitty K/L Tropes, and from what i’ve heard there are a lot more like them being shoved into ridiculous yaoi archetypes (eg keith is a blushing flower of a sub instead of the vers power bottom we all know he Actually is) but since i read very little fic i’ve managed to avoid that stuff. sorry this turned into an essay lol this always happens

#ask #long post #wank // #i really don't know what to tag this bc i don't want anyone to come across it and feel uncomf #ship negativity #?? #ask me to tag #and i will!! #also your mileage may vary as always #it's not like my opinions are correct #they are just opinions #and like i said i dont actually care that much its not that deep #but dont fucking show me any content of them getting married #just dont #merrimyuu

[epb-archive]

Okay, this is me trying not to care too much about Brighter by Wingit on Ao3 or @wing--it on tumblr (and failing miserably)

DISCLAIMER: Everything is my opinion and is in no way attempting to bash other fic writers because writing is hard and everyone that put their personal time into doing this and sharing fics with people over the internet deserves praise and to feel proud of what they’ve written. For this reason I won’t be naming any other fics aside from Brighter because that’s the focus and #Boost Ur Fandom Writers ya feel

DISCLAIMER 2.0: I realized I told @wing--it  that i’d have a meta done for their fic except I realized I’m not entirely sure what Meta is so I’m probably not good at it wow this is long im sorry okay let’s do this thing

Actually as I’m writing this, I realize it’s just going to turn into a giant ass review for Brighter and I don’t know how I feel about that but @wing--it hi, i love your fic, we’ve been over this right? Under the cut this goes. (contains mild spoilers for Brighter but I’m trying not to say everything outright)

Brighter is a Victuri fanfic that is by far one of the best I’ve read in terms of storyline, characterization, conflict, and angst revolving around that conflict.

Starting with storyline, Brighter is a godsend fic that gives that good ass almost immediately after the GPF life for Victuri. So the two of them figuring out their relationship and working out how to live together in a more intimate sense (that being on their own and not constantly surrounded by Yuuri’s family and the patrons of Yu-Topia). Now, there are some other good ass fics that also have the lives in St. Petersburg and that do this shit well (actually, I appreciate every fic out there, shout out to all fic writers yall are doing gods work) BUT something different that stands out about Brighter is how the storyline isn't just focused on Yuuri Katsuki.

Honestly, at the most current point (10 chapters in, updated last on the 8th of June) the two main characters are NOT Victor and Yuuri, but Yuuri and Yuri which is??? Possibly one of the few fics I’ve seen where these two are the main focus while still having the fic be Victuri centered. Like without getting too much into Yuri’s storyline for the sake of spoilers (though it’s kind of revealed in chapter 3 or 4 i think, pretty early on) This fic, by far, has some of the best characterization of Yuri P that I’ve ever seen.

Which is saying a lot because I will often stop reading a fic because of how they characterize Yura (especially if he’s a major recurring character in the fic). Yura does play a huge part in this fic in terms of his own character development and conflict (godddd I just really fucking love his story line) and Tash!!!!!! Gives a solid reason why Yura would be “”angsty”” 24/7 and h*ck!!! It’s just ugh!!! Everyone knows, if you’ve gone through your angry teenager phase, it’s so incredibly difficult to stay mad 24/7 unless something’s happened or something’s happening (mental illness notwithstanding) and like just godddd. Okay??? Okay. So Anyways, Yura opens up to Yuuri (eventually) and friendship happens and honestly out of this entire fic Yuuri and Yuri’s friendship is my favorite. Like yes, this includes Victor and Yuuri’s relationship or Victor and anyone else or any of the characters combines. I just think Tash did such an amazing job working with Yuri in the fic and I’m already emotional this is a mess I’m sorry.

Okay, So that’s Yuri’s character. On to Victor’s. I think Tash does a beautiful job having Victor adjust to life loving someone. Like here, we have a guy who’s spent his entire life trying to please and surprise so many people, like aside from splurge stuff, what has Victor done for himself? When going off that logic (and like the 50 in depth tumblr posts about this) Brighter is so beautiful in his characterization. Because it starts with Victor and Yuuri being soooo in love and everything’s perfect!!! For exactly .2 seconds

Because everyone knows that’s not how relationship work and people have to work together and have conflicts and allow room for being human together. (And dont get me wrong, I am just as likely to read a 50k coffee shop au with 0 conflict because I enjoy not hurting). Anyways, Victor’s characterization is essentially him trying to figure out how to be genuine (and failing on multiple occasions) and just him trying to teach himself that he doesn’t have to do what he thinks Yuuri would like to get him to stay because Yuuri loves him and they’re in this for the long run but still Victor  IS STRUGGLING to figure this out.  Tash just. God. Tash just does this so well.

And Victor. He’s also subject to his own anxieties but in a different way from Yuuri and??? Like the fact that he’s throwing himself back into his career after a year break and to go back to his way of surprising people and then coaching Yuuri and choreographing short programs for him, yuuri, and yuri too (i think he was doing 3 short programs anyways). The ice skating portion of this fic is so fucking important, which of course it is, in an anime about ice skating of course it’s fucking important but what I mostly mean is that it doesn’t necessarily take second to the romance in the fic with is easy to do. The Ice skating and the romance are like on par with each other with the only vaguely second plot line being Yuri’s story line which is :,,,) still

Anyways  I just fucking love this okay I’m so sorry this got off track I’m not even done yet but please, read Brighter.

Last on characterization is of course, the main character, Yuuri Katsuki. Alright, I just h*cking love Yuuri in this fic. Like?? He’s so understanding and doesn’t deserve half the shit he’s gone through because if!!! SOME PEOPLE just TALKED IT OUT1!!!!!! Maybe. But no. Tash’s way of writing Yuuri is one of the ones that I appreciate the most. His way of dealing with things (which is to overthink then not solve anything) or his way of sherlocking through other people’s problems (see: Yuri P see: Victor N) His insecurities are all #relatable and just, Idk how to talk about this because i really can only say how perf i think tash did with him and that’s nonsensical imo anyways yuuri in brighter is like best yuuri hi i would die for him to be happy

For Brighter, the conflict and the angst go hand in hand (though tash has been hinting at things getting more painful in the next update and i’m not ready but :,,,) ya kno) and so without spoiling anything I just want to say that the conflict/angst is different in a way that it’s something that doesn’t seem improbable and is just 100% believable like past the characterization in the fic, I could almost 100% see this happening in canon which is a weird feeling and idk if the movie turns out to have any of these problems I’m gonna pay Tash like $20 or something (so open ur paypal now cause I have a feeling). Specifically here I’m talking about the conflict between Victor and Yuuri (not necessarily Yura’s because that’s something I definitely don’t want to happen but god it makes for some really good ass story telling and background on a character).

For Victor and Yuuri, it’s a matter of being honest about one’s feelings and just you know, um, telling the truth and not saying what you think someone else wants to hear. Which doesn’t really sound hard or difficult at all but here we have Victor who’s done everything for other people up to recently in his career and has probably never been so deeply in love as he is with Yuuri right now so he’s confused and I’ll give him that. HOWEVER, sometimes, Victor just needs to have a little more faith in Yuuri’s feelings for him.

The same goes for Yuuri though, the conflict isn’t 100% Victor’s fault. Some of the blame is deff Yuuri’s and Yuuri’s anxiety (which is essentially a whole nother Yuuri except darker with idk maybe a goatee and constant bad ideas). But also you can’t blame a character for being anxious and stuff and really I’m not ragging on Victor for this but I also don’t think Yuuri’s entirely to blame here? Like I’m so bad at meta okay I’m sorry buT I think to a degree they both have insecurities and doubts that are straining the relationship. They really do try to work through things but on Yuuri’s side, he almost always links the problems back to himself and in term him not being able to satisfy Victor like sexually and emotionally I THINK. Like…….. Okay I can’t go into it because I’m not sure how to put what I’m thinking into words

Another point I cannot stress enough and can’t actually find a good place to put in even tho this was number 1 on the list of things I wanted to talk about in here is This conflict is seriously all good conflict. Brighter has character’s growing and developing and just. Nothing seems forced or out of place?? Like it wasn’t just put there in order for there to be something wrong. Actually I think i did mention this but I cannot stress enough how much the conflict in brighter just fucking makes sense!!!!! I’m actually repeating myself I know but seriously my favorite part…. Second favorite part after Yuri’s characterization is how good the conflict and problems Yuuri and Victor have are. Like they’re honest to god relationship things and fuck!!!!!!!!! It’s so good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But essentially, Yuuri and Victor need to have a good oldfashioned talk but that’s not going to happen because Tash is about to rip out our hearts and I’m ready for once.

Alright, that’s been my not meta. I’m sorry @wing--it if you’re on mobile and cant read under the cut, it exists and also I’m sorry that this got so long……. But you know i told you!!!! It was gonna be long I just really fucking love brighter and i cannot express that enough. I tried to be coherent here in talking about all the things I enjoyed and I definitely missed something like the JJ conflict but this is almost 2k in length and I’m really embarrassed bcos of how passionate I am about this.

tl;dr: just read Brighter for fucks sakes, that’s all I want. More people to read brighter and scream about the character(ization)s and just heck!!!!!

#i speak #yoi #victuri #wing--it #tash this turned out to be 1.8k im sorry #@ my followers pls read brighter and scream at tash abt it like ??????? revolutionary #double @ tash i really am sorry this got so long god this is embarrassing

[frywen-babbles]

Of Ninjas and Foxes (SLBP) part20

However, Saizo broke the kiss, pressing his forehead to yours. You blinked in shock when he pulled you closer to him, hugging you gently and pressed a kiss on your forehead,

 “I… I can’t. Not like this,” he murmured and disappeared, leaving you standing alone and confused.

 *****

 You hadn’t seen Saizo in a couple of days and you were just about to bring him a tray full of dango you had made when lord Yukimura stopped you on your way.

 “What did you do to Saizo?” he asked, his brows furrowed and his voice threatening. You instinctively took a step backwards, looking at him surprised. The tray trembled slightly in your hands as you answered him,

 “I have no idea what you mean. Please let me pass.”

 “No. Not until you undo that spell!” lord Yukimura stepped even closer to you, “You already have milord Shingen wrapped around your finger, you don’t need Saizo too. Or is your plan to seduce every man in the castle?”

 Now the tray was visibly trembling as you backed away from lord Yukimura, trying not to trip on the hem of your kimono. Had Saizo told him what you had said? Was that why he was angry? You had thought you were getting along fine with him, sure he was still a bit suspicious, but you had had fun talking with him and he had liked your cooking.

 “Please let me pass. I just wish to talk to Saizo,” you tried to plead him.

 “Are you in love with him?” lord Yukimura asked.

 “Wh-what…?” you looked at the man in front of you in shock. You, in love with Saizo? In love with the man who had taken you away from the only home you had left? From the man, you loved and wanted to spend the rest of your life with? There was no way that you were in love with Saizo, was there?

 “If you aren’t even in love with him, why won’t you leave him alone?!” lord Yukimura growled, staring at you, mistrust clear in his eyes.

 “Because he is the only one who will speak to me like I was an actual person!” you spat back at him, tightening your hold on the tray. He pushed you against the wall just behind you and glared at you, a deep crease between his brows. You looked at him your eyes wide, holding the tray tightly between you two.

 “I’m warning you. Stay. Away. From. My. Friend,” he said, his voice so cold it chilled you to the bone. You felt your lower lip quivering and you nodded at him,

 “I’ll just give him these dango. He doesn’t want to talk to me anyway…” you mumbled, averting your eyes. You bit your lower lip to stop it from quivering and lord Yukimura finally stepped away from you. You glanced at him and saw his face was bright red and he was staring at the floor. For a moment, he looked like he wanted to say something, but he just turned around and left you alone.

 You walked slowly to Saizo’s room and announced yourself at the door. You placed the tray of dango in front of him and sat down, keeping your eyes on your lap.

 “We want something, don’t we, little lady,” Saizo sighed after a while.

 "I... I would want to at least send a letter to lord Masamune. You can read it. I promise I won’t tell anything about the palace or anything else… I… just want him to know I’m alright…”

 “No. Can’t do that,” Saizo’s reply was immediate and short. You felt crushed. You had to swallow and take a deep breath before you bowed deeply at him,

 “I see… I’m sorry to have bothered you. It won’t happen again,” you stood up and walked to the door. You forced a smile on your face and turned again towards Saizo, “I hope the dango tastes good. If you want more, just ask me.”

 *****

 You walked to lord Yukimura’s room quietly through the dark castle, squeezing your wakizashi in your hands. You knew you shouldn’t visit samurai’s private chambers this late, but lord Yukimura was almost always doing something and this was the only time you knew he’d be in his room. You announced yourself quietly outside of his door, squeezing your hands tightly around the sheath of your wakizashi.

 You jumped up startled when the door slammed open and saw lord Yukimura with a deep frown on his face looking at you.

 “What do you want, kitsune?” he asked the frown deepening between his brows,

 “I... I need to talk to you for a bit lord Yukimura. May I come in?” you asked, bowing your head slightly. This was the politest you had ever been towards him after you had first been introduced and when you lifted your head you saw a hint of blush on lord Yukimura’s face,

 “I… you shouldn’t come to a man’s room this late… Someone might get the wrong idea…”

 “This won’t take long, lord Yukimura,” you pleaded and he finally stepped aside letting you in. You sat on the floor and after closing the door lord Yukimura sat opposite of you, but far enough it was impossible for you to touch him. You laid the wakizashi on the floor between you and took the tessen from your belt, placing it next to it.

 “I need to ask you a favour, lord Yukimura. I… There is something I need to do, but I need your help,” you started and bowed your head low, “Please… I… I need to see milord Masamune! I have no-one else I could turn to, I… if you grant me this one thing I promise, I’ll pledge my life to the service of the Takeda clan! These are the only things I own, I believe they are quite valuable,” you pushed the wakizashi and the tessen towards lord Yukimura, “I… I want to give them to you as an… as an offering of gratitude. I-I know we haven’t gotten along very well, lord Yukimura, but I know you are a good and kind man and I promise this will be the last thing I’ll ever ask. Please, please help me…” your voice broke at your last words and you quickly turned your head aside to avoid lord Yukimura’s eyes.

 “The Takeda clan welcomes anyone who wishes to serve us, no matter where they came from,” lord Yukimura said after a short silence and you lifted your gaze to him surprised, only to find him smiling kindly at you. He lifted the wakizashi and the tessen from the floor and handed them towards you. You took the offered weapons surprised, not finding any words to say.

 “I’ll talk to Saizo. I assume you know how to use those, you might need them on the way. You can give them to me when you return,” lord Yukimura still smiled, the kindest smile he had ever given you on his lips. You squeezed the weapons to your chest and bowed deeply at him,

 “I-I am honoured, lord Yukimura… I don’t know what to say… I’m so grateful…” your voice cracked and you felt few tears escape between your eyelids, but you wiped them quickly away, rising up from the floor.

 “H-h-hey… don’t cry…!” lord Yukimura stuttered, his face blushing bright red,

 “I’m alright, lord Yukimura. There is no need to worry about me. Thank you so much, I’m very grateful to you,” you bowed at him again and walked to the door. There you stopped and turned towards lord Yukimura again, “Could you… if it was possible… not tell lord Shingen about this…? I… I’d prefer if he didn’t know…”

 “… Of course, ____-hime. I won’t tell him,” lord Yukimura said seriously, a faint blush still colouring his cheeks.

 “Thank you,” you said bowing again, “I’m so very grateful to you, lord Yukimura.” You left the room, nearly skipping to your room.

 You were going to see lord Masamune, you couldn’t be happier! It didn’t matter if you’d only have a moment with him, you just wanted to tell him goodbye properly. After that… you were between a rock and a hard place no matter what you did all you had were bad options. You didn’t have anywhere to go, nor did you have large sums of money. You’d probably be safest staying with the Takeda clan instead of being all alone without anyone to turn to, but you had no idea how lord Shingen would react to your tryst, whether lord Yukimura told him about it or not.

 *****

 You knew Saizo wouldn’t appreciate that you had gone to lord Yukimura behind his back, so you just followed him silently along the narrow road. You had sneaked out in the commotion of lady Kiku’s wedding preparations, only a couple of days before the deadline lord Shingen had given you. You had hoped you could have wished lady Kiku well before your departure, but she had been kept as far away from you as possible.

 It took you some days to reach Oshu and finally, you reached Yonezawa. Saizo hadn’t spoken to you much during the trip, he had just made sure you were keeping up with him. But at nights he had snuggled you close, pulling you tightly to his chest under the blanket you shared, to keep you warm from the chilling air of the autumn.

 You felt nervous seeing the Yonezawa castle. You were waiting for Saizo to return some distance away, but hiding like this in the surrounding forest felt weird and wrong. But… if lord Masamune was in the castle, you’d finally get to talk to him. You were startled by Saizo’s sudden return. He didn’t say anything, he just took you in his arms and soon you found yourself at the castle grounds.

 Saizo hid you in a tree, gazing the area intently. Suddenly you saw him. You had to press your hand to your mouth to stop a gasp escaping your lips. Your hand trembled slightly and you had to take deep breaths to calm yourself down. Last time you had seen him he had been so cold, standing above you in full armour, commanding you to stay out of his lands and life. But you just had to know. Why would he do such a thing? He had told you he loved you and was going to spend the rest of his life with you, that nothing could stop him. Did he hate you now? Had he stopped loving you for some reason? You just needed to know before you could let him go. Your last words to each other shouldn’t have been said in anger and despair in front of an army of men.

*****

@jemchew @ceka122 @minnimay17 @i-dont-look-good-i-look-great

#slbp #slb party #slbp fanfic #voltage fanfic #date masamune #kirigakure saizo #sanada yukimura #takeda shingen #of ninjas and foxes #frywen writes

[thndrcat]

opinions of signs as people i know

(im a pisces sun and gemini moon)

aries: so good in every way i don’t know how they do what they do. down to earth and honest, will always give you a legitimate answer. genuinely cares about all their friends, witty as fuck. always positive and sends out gud vibes. somehow procrastinates on shit for hours but gets it done. they throw shade tactfully so no one ever knows. forgetful at times.

taurus: forgets how great they are at times, but can end up wallowing in self-pity. super procrastinators, extremely welcoming as a person and probably is cool with u. excellent cookers. subtweets a lot. treats u like family, but you’ll know if they dislike you. great taste in music. all memories with them are good ones, unless u piss them off. always has a lot on their mind. good people if u need to vent to someone. highly valued friends.

gemini: absolutely wonderful, is actually the living embodiment of sunshine. truly just wants the best for u. has their days, but who doesn’t. prone to anxiety. has a line for everything. youre either their friend or you want to be. witty as hell the one thing that’s true, loves to make people laugh and build relationships. loves to be involved, can adapt well. sometimes is overwhelmed by life. someone who will go out of their way to help u. book smart but often naive. dont dismiss them because theyre a gemini, they are more than worth ur time.

cancer: sweet like diabetes bruh. they honest to god radiate positive and good vibes. thinks theyre living in a disney channel movie. i always picture them with a smile. empathetic, willing to help. makes a bigger deal than it is and cry for ages, or theyll brush it off like it never happened. forgiving. dont take advantage of it, eventually theyll stop coming back around and it will hurt. gets carried away at times and will manipulate stories. likes laughing at dumb things.

leo: steals the show, if u find out someones a leo it makes sense. furiously protective, would probably die for their friends. so great with people but often loses focus. doesnt cope well, but they will deal with things. more sensitive than u think. loves to laugh, ur stomach will hurt when ur with them. a foodie. wants u to do ur best. sometimes its hard to tell whether theyre serious or not. always on their phones and enjoys a good meme.

libra: every single libra ive met is like my bff. rapid talkers, always have something going on in their head and they’re constantly thinking, it’s insane. probably going to be ballin by age 20. truly beautiful inside and out. indecisive as fuck which can lead to real life problems and lots of dilemmas. loves telling a good story and likes having attention. gets good gifts. has a great sense of style. wants to explore the world. appreciates little things. can listen to any type of music i swear

virgo: the ones i know i have gorgeous eyes. often lets their priorities slip. in great shape. humbled, ive never heard one brag or talk about themselves. good at reading people. has a small group of friends that they love deeply. will listen to you. loves adventures and new things. looks for improvement. gets hung up on the wrong things. the last person to talk about their feelings. always looks like theyre up to something. 

scorpio: true embodiment of emo. is always wearing a bitch face, but you get to know them and they will treat you like they’ve known u for their whole life. down to do legit anything. someone you can sit in silence with for hours and have it not feel awkward. lots of trust issues. bad with breakups and letting go. goofy as hell. loves writing. if they let u in be thankful. 

sagittarius: will show u a good time, you could spend days with them and never get bored. youll know if they dont like u. notoriously flaky. generally pretty attractive. has 10 bitches on call. doesnt fall easily, but when they do its hard. can act sort of ditsy sometimes, dont let that fool u. class clown. theyre paying attention a lot more than u might think. very selective on what they want to put their effort towards. dont get emotionally attached to one unless u wanna get wrecked

capricorn: individualistic as fuck, each one has their own really unique style. killer sense of humor. screaming deep down inside. best at decision making and prioritizing for success, but sometimes it can be difficult to follow through. does stuff on their own terms. u think theyre high all the time, but thats just who they are. they probably smoke too though. will stick through thick and thin for you. can hold grudges for ages and really aloof. loves alternative music. u dont understand how great they are until u get to know one. 

aquarius: the best sense of humor, enjoys shows like The Office. as harsh as they can be, theyre kind of sensitive too? gets frustrated with friends. somewhat intimidating to approach. furiously loyal. loves to be outside and animals and shit. wants to do whats best for them and cuts off shitty people. under appreciated. never tries to look good, but when they do its like a kiss from the heavens on both of ur eyelids.  wastes time a lot. somewhat aloof until you get to know them. 

pisces: (lmao me) creative powerhouses, can spit poetry and loves lyrics with good meanings. gives too many chances to shitty people. likes to get along with everyone. down to do anything. loves to be sad as fuck and gets swallowed in self pity a lot. has individualistic opinions that they will share. craves a good relationship and good conversations. can be two faced. truly looks for the best in people. likes posting selfies. lightweight crazy bitches but in the best way. feels deeply. 

#astrology #pisces #libra #aquarius #horoscope #capricorn #virgo #scorpio #leo #aries #cancer #gemini #taurus

[death-magic-doom]

Daily Check-In Tarot Spread

Today’s Feelings

Today’s Health

Today’s Thoughts

1. THREE OF CUPS 

“This card is about rare and eternal love - the kind that makes no demands, places no expectations, and imposes no conditions. For me personally, this love flows from the Mother of the Universe - for you, the name by which you call it may be different, but the source remains the same.

Sea = of Binah or 3rd sephiroth in which the cups overflow. Binah is associated with the feminine and the cups by their very nature are receptive and so both reinforce and support each other.

• The querent may have an out pouring of love and positive emotion toward three very significant people in their life An overwhelming desire to communicate such to them,

• Happiness and a full life.

• May become clearer about what the querent's feelings and emotion are saying.

• Letting the spirit come through and expressing the joy of being with others.

• A steady and timeless affection is being felt by the querent that is unconditional and thus more powerful and more deeply felt than romantic love.

• Feeling the dance of love, often called the Three Graces. A very exuberant joyful feeling of being. The querent may have an out pouring of love and positive emotion toward three very significant people in their life an overwhelming desire to communicate such to them.

• Happiness and a full life.

• May become clearer about what the querent’s. Feelings and emotion are saying.

• Letting the spirit come through and expressing the joy of being with others.

• A steady and timeless affection is being felt by the querent that is unconditional and thus more powerful and more deeply felt than romantic love.

• Feeling the dance of love, often called the Three Graces. A very exuberant joyful feeling of being.

There really isn't a negative to this card, unless blinded by exuberance can be called a negative. But love doesn't really care if others appreciative it or not, it just is the foundation of Spiritual presence and Knowledge that is unconcerned with approval.”

significant to me after spending time with my mother and grandmother, three generations of women spending time together. My grandmother told me she loved me and i told her the same and i felt amazing. better than ive felt in a long time being with my family. whole again. i was glad i could offer her something. 

2. KNIGHT OF CUPS REVERSED

“At times, the reversed Knight of Cups can indicate that you are sulky, moody, and jealous. You may feel frustrated that you are not being given the opportunity to dream and create. You allow your emotions to get the better of you if you are not getting your way.

When the reversed Knight of Cups appears in a Tarot reading, a creative project is emerging, but you are not ready to act on it just yet. You may spend most of your time dreaming up what is possible or how wonderful it will be when it comes to fruition. While it can be enriching to be in the dreamy, ideas phase for a while, the plan will not come into being until you take action. You may need to ground your ideas into reality. Figure out how much it will cost, how much time it will take, what resources you will need, and so on. This will give your project more weight so you can move forward with implementing your idea. “

ive been dreaming all day of taking action, but no action taken. i keep telling myself tomorrow, but i dont know whats wrong with me. i feel like theres always something getting in the way. some impulse to do something else first. 

3. KING OF WANDS 

“ The moral qualities appropriate to this figure are swiftness and strength. But he is sometimes inclined to act on impulse; sometimes easily led by external influences; sometimes, especially in trifles, a prey to indecision. He is often violent, especially in the expression of an opinion, but he does not necessarily hold the opinion about which he is so emphatic. He states a vigorous proposition for the sake of stating it. He is in fact very slow to make up his mind thoroughly on any subject, but always sees both sides of every question. He is essentially just, but always feels that justice is not to be attained in the intellectual world. His character is intensely noble and generous. He may be an extravagant boaster, while slyly laughing both at the object of his boast and at himself for making it. He is romantic, especially in matters of history and tradition, to the point of folly, and may engineer "stunts" or play elaborate practical jokes. He might select some inoffensive nobody, and pursue him for years with every weapon of ridicule) as Swift tormented the unhappy Partridge, all without the least animus, ready to give the shirt off his back, should his victim be in need. His sense of humor is omnivorous, and may make him a mysterious figure, dreaded without reason by people who actually know nothing about him but his name-as a symbol of Terror. This is due to the influence of the last decan of Cancer upon this card. One of his greatest faults is pride; meanness and pettiness of any kind he holds in infinite scorn. His courage is fanatically strong, and his endurance indefatigable. He is always fighting against odds, and always wins in the long-the very long-run. This is principally due to his enormous capacity for work, which he exercises for its own sake, "without lust of result"; perhaps his haughty contempt for the world at large-which however coexists with profound and ecstatic respect for "every man and every woman" as "a star"-is responsible for this. “

this is me