#leonardo getting cheated on from day 1 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

hispg · 2 months

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Between royalty and vows

Pairings: Prince! Leon x Fem! Reader

Summary: A forced marriage, a fate set in stone, nothing could change that.

In the world of royalty, there were no choices, only obligations to fulfill. What you didn't expect was to become engaged to a renowned prince, ready to succeed the lineage.

Until that moment, you still had some hope that everything would work out, maybe it wasn't so bad. But it would be a shame if your future husband had a mistress.

Wouldn't it?

Wc: 4.5k

Warnings: slow burn, angst, hurt/ comfort, cheating, arranged marriage, eventual smut, one-sided love, affairs, manipulative behavior from Leon, male chauvinism, misogyny (I'll put more once things start to progress).

Prologue | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 |

An: Sorry for any grammar mistakes, it's late and i wanted to post.😭

Chapter 6: In your grasp

The day had already started off rather eclectic at the castle, with the servants working around the clock to finish the preparations for the ball that was to take place later.

Despite this, the day wasn't too busy for you, as the attention wasn't focused on you because of the ball. So you could say that everything was fine so far.

Since there was also an exquisite visitor at the castle, a close friend of the king. And someone who also had unshakeable power, worthy of a special reception.

Majesty Graham, also known as the imposing king of the United States, currently a nation with an enviable progression.

The visit had actually come as a surprise, as no one in the castle had expected the sudden appearance. The excuse was that important matters had to be sorted out with King Leonardo, matters that no one knew for sure what they were about, but they did seem to be important.

Despite the discretion that was maintained so that both Kings could talk, the walls had ears, literally. It wasn't hard to find some of the maidens sneaking into the corridors so that they could overhear the conversation.

After all, nothing about royalty could be kept secret for long, as old-fashioned as that may sound. That's the price you pay for being in the royal spotlight all the time.

And since the day was already too quiet for you, what could be better than listening to some of the maids' gossip? Surely you could understand why Majesty Graham was here in the first place.

So you did, taking slow, silent steps through the corridors, listening to the buzz coming from a more secluded corner, and then you saw the maids whispering among themselves, some smiling, others a little nervous, and some others seemed to be daydreaming. What could it be?

"God! Imagine what will happen to that man!" One of the servant girls exclaimed, looking at the others.

One of the others nodded before whispering, "Oh, what a silly idea! How can a man think of getting involved with a princess!"

So that's what it was about. You felt your heart shudder, so Ashley's father had found out about the hidden affair she was having. He just didn't know, who the man was, who subjected his daughter to this shamelessness. Oh, if he only knew.

"I heard! I heard Majesty Graham saying that he would even declare war if he found the culprit! He would be able to declare war on any kingdom!" One of the girls spoke up, putting her hand to her lips to show her exasperation at the situation.

All the others gasped, shaking their heads in denial. The ladies were just as exasperated as you were, and you couldn't help the look of confusion that appeared on your face.

How could this have happened? Leon wouldn't be so careless as to leave something out in the open like that, it wasn't something he would do. After all, it had been going on for years, so how could it have reached the majesty's ears?

You knew that King Leonardo would do his best to hide any clues that led to his son, he had the money and influence to do so. But how long would this situation remain under wraps? Perhaps this was the push to end the situation once and for all, and you were going to do everything possible to make it happen.

It might have been petty, but you couldn't let anything stand in the way of your marriage. That's what good brides did, they looked after their families and their husbands, so you were only doing the right thing.

If Ashley's father was still at the castle talking to King Leonard, then you could make a small appearance at this gathering. You even had the perfect idea of how to sneak into the room where the two men were talking, and it would also be the perfect cue to get Leon to put an end to this once and for all, or at least to get some respect from him.

But there was still something on your mind, would it be worth it? Would that be enough for Leon to see you as a woman? Or rather, as his wife?

You didn't know if it was right or wrong, but given the prince's latest attitudes lately, you couldn't let him keep doing whatever he wanted to you.

That kiss? It was able to send your emotions soaring, even though you wanted to deny it with all your soul, you couldn't even say that it had no effect on you.

Several times you found yourself wondering what it would be like if it were real, if it would feel like to have his lips on yours, even once, but you wanted it to be genuine. That it was something from inside his soul, that he felt something.

But you were already getting used to the idea that it was a silly dream, or maybe you'd have to sacrifice even more for this man, who knows, maybe with some little way out you could turn this situation in your favor?

And when several ideas started popping into your head, you had the brilliant idea of making this extramarital affair you had with Leon open, and you already knew perfectly well what the king's reaction would be.

The first thing that came to mind was the letter that Ashley had given Leon with the flowers, and you still had possession of that little letter. So why not give it to the king? Surely you could have imagined King Leon's furious reaction to knowing that his son was so indiscreet about this affair.

As you walked to your room, you saw a vase of flowers that had been placed in the hallway, they looked fresh, just so you could make your little scene even more intriguing. But of course you would only be the poor damsel in distress, the poor wife who was being betrayed.

Once you'd entered your chambers, you then went in search of the letter you'd kept so carefully. The same letter that made your blood boil just remembering the whole occasion. And you weren't just referring to the flowers you'd received, but to the situation as a whole.

And since Leon was basically inhibiting Chris's presence around you, it was only right to give him a taste of his own poison. You hid the letter in your hands, carrying the small, delicate vase of flowers in your hand, straight to the king's chambers. When you arrived at the entrance door, you straightened your posture and straightened your dress, making yourself perfectly presentable to the king.

It was then that you knocked twice on the door, only to be greeted with a 'come in' a few minutes later.

You did just that, with calm, elegant steps you made your way into the king's chamber. And there stood Majesty Graham, together with King Leonardo. You bowed politely to them both, looking at King Leonard as you held the flowers.

"Forgive the intrusion and indelicacy, Your Majesty. However, these flowers have arrived for the prince." You say, and your sentence was all it took for both men to raise their ears to hear what you had to say.

And of course you wouldn't come to talk to the most important man in the kingdom if you didn't have a reason to, and he was willing to listen to what you needed to say.

"There must have been some mistake." Leonardo said, getting up from his chair and walking over to you to inspect the flowers.

"No, Your Majesty. It even came with this little letter." You say as you hand over the piece of paper, and this makes Graham look at you both.

There was something in his gaze, and it wasn't from God. The man was already mounting his suspicions.

Leonardo then read the much-talked-about letter, his eyes widening and narrowing with every sentence, his face so red that you didn't know if he would be all right after finishing the letter. At the same moment, he looked at you, at Graham, who was already suspicious.

"I didn't understand the urgency, but the maids were in a hurry to give it to the prince." You said, in a tone that gave the perfect impression that you didn't know what it was really about.

And then you decided to add, "Oh, and there was also a certain discreetness."

That was the last straw for King Leonard to let out an audible sigh to control his nerves, and you felt the heavy gaze of Majesty Graham behind you. It was almost a silent conversation.

"Thank you, I'll give it to Leon as soon as he arrives." Leonardo says, not leaving you much room to say anything else.

You then understand that it's your time to leave, and you do so. The same bow you used to enter, you used to leave. Letting the heavy atmosphere remain between the two royals. As soon as you closed the door and left the room, you bumped into Ausdret, Leon's butler.

"Your Highness..." He says in a half bow, looking at you with a frown, as if he suspects something.

You reply with a polite smile, looking at him innocently.

"I was looking for you, princess, the prince asked me to announce his arrival." Ausdret said, and you immediately remembered that Leon had gone out for a horse ride, along with Chris. Another excuse not to leave you alone with the Duke.

"Right, where is he?" You asked, trying to hear what was going on in the King's chamber, but you could hear nothing but incomprehensible whispers.

"In his chambers, he made it clear that he wanted to see you." The butler added, making it clear that it wasn't a debate, if you didn't go to see the prince, he would come to you himself.

You just nodded and left for Leon's quarters. Since the kiss he gave you, something in the relationship had changed. Not that you could say he had any affection for you, but at least he seemed to be warmer.

Perhaps it was because the wedding was tomorrow and he wanted to make a good impression on the people attending, especially his father. At least you could use this as a small gap to try to patch up this doomed relationship, even though you have no idea what to expect, what the outcome will be.

Just as you were about to touch the handle to open the door, you heard footsteps behind you, they sounded like two people, and indeed they were. As soon as you turned around, you saw Ausdret and Leonardo, walking side by side.

Ausdret seemed to be trying to convince the king of something, and he was failing miserably, as for the king, well, his expression was as gloomy as the night. And it seemed that King Leonardo was not only walking to Leon's room, he was marching.

Each step seemed more furious than the last.

The man didn't even give you time to ask him anything, because he stormed into Leon's room himself, slamming the door shut while he talked to Leon about God knows what.

When you heard the door close, you felt so anxious that you couldn't contain yourself, and in the blink of an eye you were behind the door, listening to the conversation on the other side.

For a few minutes you only heard a few murmurs, until you could hear things clearly:

"For God's sake! Are you out of your mind?" You'd be polite to say that it wasn't a scream, as it was obviously one of the clearest shouts you'd heard in a while.

"How the hell did that get into your hands?" This time it was Leon's voice, which sounded indignant and surprised at the same time.

"No. Don't try to change the subject!" Leonardo's older voice echoed in the room once again.

Footsteps and footsteps, an uncomfortable silence, only for a loud voice to echo through the room once again.

"That's enough! This little antics of yours have gone far enough." The king's voice was serious, with no room for argument.

"Don't start. Don't ask me to-" Before he could finish, Leon's sentence was interrupted, just like that.

"It's not a request, it's an order." The king growled, his voice capable of sending shivers down your spine.

You could hear Leon trying to justify himself, but you couldn't hear anything properly, because Leornado was running over him every time, not letting the prince say anything other than a few mumbles.

"That's it! I don't want to hear any more about your recklessness! Put an end to this mess you've made of yourself!" Leonardo's sharp voice was unmistakable.

" Now then, father. I'm not a kid anymore-" And once again Leon was interrupted.

"Then act like a man! Honor what's between your legs. I won't let you destroy your future on a mere whim."

The next thing you heard was something heavy hitting the wall, it sounded like something similar to a punch.

"You're being irreverent, father." Leon says, you could sense the hatred in his voice just by his tone.

"Two days, and that's all you have to end any ties with that woman." The sentence took you aback, how far had it come? To the point where two monarchs had to argue about it.

Not only that, but Leonardo's abrupt intervention seemed to be firm, not something for the moment. He seemed destined to maintain the integrity of his kingdom.

"If you ever speak to that woman again, I will send you into exile!" You were stunned, not believing your own ears.

A father exiling his own son? It was an outrage! Was that your cue? Your chance? Or just a distraction? Something you were expecting too much.

"You wouldn't dare." It was Leon who dared to retort, despite everything, he still couldn't accept the whole situation.

Not least because he had always done everything he wanted, and now they were taking away one of the most important things he had in life.

"Don't try your luck, I hold your future in my hands." After that you heard footsteps heading for the door, and you were quick to move away and hide in a nearby corridor.

You managed to sneak into your room after all the mess, and spent the rest of the day there, thinking about the situation. What had you just done?

Afterwards, your temper rose considerably, as you honestly felt that you were being fair by playing the same game as Leon, in a fair and equal way to him.

At that moment you found yourself humming around the room, looking at yourself in the mirror as you wore that beautiful red dress, made by one of the most renowned seamstresses in the kingdom, and the dress was just as beautiful as you imagined. The fabric was soft and sophisticated, the top clinging to your upper body like a bodice. While the bottom was a large skirt, which, with all the underwire you were wearing, made it impossible not to notice how stunningly beautiful the dress was.

You didn't skimp on the jewelry either, you wore the most expensive ones you had, you were destined to be the center of attention tonight.

If not for Leon, then for Chris. Such a good person in the middle of such a mess, you couldn't let the Duke out of your sight that quickly.

When you were ready, you started towards the main hall, where Leon would be waiting for you. With light, graceful steps you made your way to the main hall, and at the same moment all eyes were on you.

The stunning princess, an almost angelic image.

And well, if your intention was to get Leon to gawk at you, well, you succeeded. He looked at you as if you were the most beautiful thing he had ever laid eyes on.

And at the same moment, he moved towards the bottom of the stairs, wanting to get close to you quickly.

And you were drawn to him like a moth is drawn to light, you knew it would go wrong at some point that night, but you honestly couldn't care less.

Everything around you seemed to stop when you felt Leon's hand on yours, not before he pressed a kiss to the back of your hand, letting his lips linger there for a short while.

It was a magnetism you couldn't explain, sometimes it even sounded stupid, but something about Leon made you severely attracted to him somehow, even if he acted in an uncordial way, something about him was mesmerizing.

"You look stunning, princess." Leon said in a whisper, giving you that gallant smile that made you weak in the knees.

You didn't know if it was a lie, if he really meant it and thought it was so, but his affectionate way made you forget all the bad things that had already happened.

This time you let it go, not wanting to think too much about whether he was being sincere or not, maybe for one night it was worth forgetting. After all, it wasn't hard to deny that you were radiant, it wasn't hard to see that something had brightened your day.

But of course you also noticed that Leon was strangely calm, which was odd given what had happened before. It wasn't hard to guess that Leon was the type to never give up so easily, so something seemed uncommon about this situation.

Perhaps he had something in mind, or perhaps he had taken his father's threat as a bluff. But in any case, he was calm, peaceful, so at peace that it was a bit of a surprise.

But if it's going to be like this, there's nothing better than enjoying the small tenderness of such a moment.

As the two of you walked around the ball to talk to the nobles, you could see Leon's incessant gaze on you, he literally watched your every gesture and movement. You didn't know what it was, but he always kept his attention on you. Something about the way he looked at you made you feel butterflies blooming in your stomach. Looking into his eyes like that reminded you of the ocean, so beautiful but also so treacherous.

In the meantime you also caught a glimpse of Chris, who was in a corner talking to a lady. Probably those dames who were desperate to find a husband, you could tell by the way the girl giggled and touched his arm every now and then.

Seeing that you were looking at Chris, even smiling at him, Leon couldn't let that happen. As a man he had to uphold his honor, so without thinking too much he pulled you in to dance with him, not asking if you wanted to or not. He just did.

You looked at him in surprise, catching yourself frowning at his sudden attitude, as well as the intimate gesture of putting his hand on your waist, in one swift movement gluing his body against yours.

"I'm lucky to have you for a wife." Leon says, his voice echoing in your ears, his warm breath caressing your skin.

Was that a fallacy or an illusion? He didn't think you'd believe it that easily. But maybe... Just maybe.

"I can say the same for you, Your Highness." You say back, keeping your tone clipped, trying to hide the effect he was beginning to have on you.

But you couldn't hide your goosebumps, your flushed cheeks and that cursed accelerated respiration.

"You're not wearing the jewelry I gave you." He notes, taking the opportunity to twirl you around the room.

You didn't wear it by coincidence, you didn't think it matched the dress you chose for tonight. But apparently he saw it differently. An insult.

"I didn't think it suited the occasion, Your Highness." You say, and you saw his lips twitch when you called him Your Highness. So much formality, for your husband?

"You should, I told you I'd like you to wear it." Of course, his demands. How could you expect anything different?

"I don't remember, forgive me." Even though you tried, there was an undertone of stubbornness in your voice. And it didn't go unnoticed by him.

He put himself even closer to you, spinning you around and over at the dance, always keeping you in his grasp, in his arms. And even with all the anguish he caused you, he was so handsome, so easy to believe in, so tempting.

You got so lost in his expressions that you didn't even notice when he took you out of the main hall, away from the curious eyes that were there. In the blink of an eye you were in one of the corridors, his gaze looking deep into your soul.

"If there's one thing I appreciate, it's a woman's loyalty. Especially yours, dear wife." Leon says, his tone laced with a certain malice, something else that you couldn't quite put your finger on.

You didn't understand where the phrase came from, but you saw him glance briefly at Chris, who was on the other side of the dance. And of course you had already heard some buzz about your 'little escapade' with Chris, about the indecent things you two might have done. If only they'd known who the unfaithful one was.

"We can't ask something of someone if we can't be mutual." The words came out of your mouth in the blink of an eye, even you didn't fully expect it.

Leon's response was mockery, his face contorting into what looked like an expression of anger. But he was able to mask it afterwards.

How reckless of you to answer to your own husband, where was your manners? You should behave like a woman, not a tyrant.

"I didn't understand the insinuation, dear." He murmured, his tone so dark that it made something in you shiver.

"Forgive me. I didn't mean to insult you." You said in the calmest, most innocent voice you could muster, feigning ignorance.

At that same moment, you felt Leon pushing you against the wall, both his hands gripped around your waist. You couldn't move even if you wanted to.

"Don't worry, I believe it was naïve of you." He says calmly, that look that was once cold becoming something more.

The haughty façade was giving way to his controlling and manipulative side. It wasn't in Leon's nature to accept things just like that, not now and not ever.

He gave a cynical little smile, pushing you a little further against the wall, his fingers tightening around your waist. The way he looked at you gave you such shivers.

It felt like you were looking at the ocean, that captivating shade of blue in his eyes, as if you were admiring the depths of the waters.

"There's something you should have learned by now, princess." He whispered, his voice bringing out something in you, a warmth rising in your body, a foreign feeling.

You found yourself blushing, biting your lip as you stared at him. And that feeling of warmth only increased when he moved closer, letting his lips linger on your ear.

"I always gamble to win," he said, making your goosebumps rise as he breathed on your ear, "and I always win."

It was the last thing he said, taking the opportunity to kiss your earlobe, you could see him smiling in the corner as he watched your reaction.

He had you in the palm of his hand at that moment, he knew that very well.

"There's always a first time for everything..." You manage to say back, trying somehow to be as bold as him.

But despite the harsh words, your expression gave you away completely. How could he take you seriously with you blushing so much? Your cheeks as red as strawberries. Or the way you, without the slightest intention, looked at him with sly eyes. As if you wanted to earn something.

All the reaction you got from him was a low chuckle, you felt his lips come down to your jaw, so close to your neck that he couldn't help himself, and he let your sweet smell into his nostrils.

"No, darling. I don't think you understand." He says more firmly, this time letting his free hand grip your chin, forcing your gaze to focus on him.

"I never lose. No matter what it costs me." This line of his could imply so many things, you felt your thinking was all out of place.

Was he doing it out of a sense of competition? Because he didn't want to lose to Chris? Or maybe because he wanted to have ownership over something that wasn't his. You.

He didn't like losing, and probably wanted to keep you in his clutches whatever the cost. If he had you in the palm of his hand, he'd have access to a more than healthy kingdom, just as if he had an obedient wife, he'd have no problems.

A wife who would give him heirs, stay with him in good and bad, in sickness and in health, waiting for him while he cared for the crowd. So perfect.

But oh, he was so wrong if he thought you would fulfill that role. So damn wrong.

As you looked at each other like that, you smiled a little, letting your hand rest on his forearm.

"We have something in common, Your Highness." You say calmly, looking at him tensely.

Once he opened his mouth to speak, you indelicately spoke over him, "I'm not in the habit of losing either."

That was that, the disagreement was more than exposed.

Cheeky, disdainful, petulant and impolite. That's how you were acting, far from any decency you had been taught.

You watched as Leon stuck his tongue in his teeth, glaring at you in a defiant manner.

"You need better manners, dear. Maybe you should remember how a woman should act." God knows how that sentence made your blood rise, but it did.

But the look in his eyes said so many things, it was so convincing, not least because he knew that you would be his tomorrow, whether you wanted to be or not.

Not least because he was your future husband, wasn't he?

The dance would continue, and so would the evening. The roles of husband and wife duly filled, painful words veiled in the sweetness of love.

You might have hated him, but there was no escape. So much so that you thought nothing of it, and once again he led you to dance in that ballroom.

The journey was far from over, as was all your frustration. Because he wouldn't let you leave his side.

No, you'd be with him all night. Romantic? Maybe to the blind eye of the real situation, but oh, that's what you're here for, isn't it?

Continue the theater, people are watching.

Taglist: @gollumsmygel, @quemmysworld, @loveoverdosing, @delulusimps, @d3jecteddoll, @kennedyleyy, @acriixys, @deredvv, @luminehallowss

#leon kennedy #leon kennedy x y/n #leon kennedy x you #leon kennedy x reader #leon s kennedy #leon x reader #leon x y/n #leon x you #leon resident evil #leon scott kennedy x reader #resident evil leon #leon scott kennedy x you #leon s kennedy smut #leon smut

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talewrites · 20 days

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Fragile Part 6

😈😈😈

(This chapter got too long- I had to cut it short,,,, :]]] Enjoy!)

Generation: Bayverse TMNT

Tmnt x Reader Fanfic

Pronouns: Gender Neutral (except ‘dudette’, 'miss', and ‘princess’)

Warnings: injury, blood, electrocution, graphic depictions of torture, not proof read

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

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Today you were spending time with Donnie while he worked in front of his monitors. You liked it there much better than in his lab. He had a map of the city up with little marks indicating spots where the Foot had been spotted. But that wasn’t what he was working on right now.

No, you and Donnie were doing much more important things at the moment.

Like playing the new update in Stardew Valley.

“Fishing mods are cheating.”

You gawked at him in mock offense. “But you can’t pause in a multiplayer farm, there’s no time to play the fishing mini game!!”

“That’s why it’s more of a challenge!” He stuck his tongue out while he clicked his mouse rapidly to fight off a slime in the mines.

You pouted, adjusting the laptop in your lap. “I don’t need my cozy farming sim to be challenging…”

Donnie did not miss the cute grin that graced your face after, his heart fluttering in his chest.

These past few days you found yourself smiling more and more easily. Whether it was Mikey getting covered in flour while you baked cookies together, or Raph teaching you how to purl stitch, or Leo showing you how to wield a sword. You were enjoying spending more personal time with the turtles as you got to know them better.

Your toes curled where you were perched in the chair beside Donnie, glancing up at the map again. Your eyes always drawn to the blinking red dot marking the location of the lab you escaped only weeks before. The police had raided it and found it empty, which only increased your unease as to where Dr Stockman might be hiding. It already felt like a lifetime ago, that night when the turtles first found you.

You owed them your life.

“Hey (y/n), you almost ready for afternoon training?” Leo came over, snapping you out of your thoughts. Leo leaned against the back on Donnie’s chair, earning a dismissive swat from his younger brother.

“We’ll stop after we finish up this day, Leo.” Donnie said not even taking his eyes off the screen. You giggled and got back to fishing on the beach.

You were two hours into your training session with Leo.

“Okay, good. Now when you kick, focus on your balance. Stay firmly planted and your leg should have more power.” Leo coached you.

Master Splinter was supervising while sipping his tea. It had barely been 5 days since your mutant abilities had manifested. But you were already making astounding progress in unlocking its potential. Leonardo had played a big part in the process, being the one who had helped you work through your fears of using your mutant reflexes, so the abilities came more easily to you when training. He trained with you every day, while Master Splinter provided guidance. Everyone was doing their best to support you through all the changes.

Casey suddenly jogged in through the entrance of the lair.

“Guys! Just got word, the Foot are planning to rob a warehouse full of high tech weapons tonight. We gotta go intercept it.” He said waving around his cellphone.

“What? Where? Their communication frequency has been quiet since they moved those chemicals to the old Sacks building!” Donnie spun around in his chair to face Casey, you and Leo walking into the living room with Raph and Mikey close behind.

“Queens. Our contact in the Foot Clan leaked the info to us just half an hour ago.”

“Huh, that’s strange. That’s all the way on the other side of town. Aside from Sacks Tower, they’ve only really been active around the East Village and ChinaTown this past week. Maybe they changed their frequency again to throw us off track.” Donnie was quickly typing up info on his keyboard.

“Well, regardless, we better go check it out.” Leo sighed. He wanted to keep training with you, but it would have to wait.

“Heck yeah! I’m bringin’ the steak-out snacks. Who wants Doritos?” Mikey grabbed his ratty old Jansport backpack and started shoving cans of Orange Crush into it.

“(Y/n), you stay here and keep an eye on Donnie’s computer. The Foot might try to communicate about their raid tonight. Donnie’s program will intercept it. April will be here in about an hour, so just tell her if anything suspicious comes up.” Leo asked you.

“Right!” You said standing to attention and giving a military salute with a silly little grin on your face.

It made Leo’s heart melt in his chest and his expression turned soft.

“Just, stay safe, okay?” He patted you on the head then headed for the exit.

As the rest of the boys filed out of the lair, they each stopped by you. Mikey getting a high five, you quickly cleaned Donnie’s glasses for him, and Raph, always last, ducked down for a quick hug when his brothers weren’t looking. Casey rushed ahead of them.

Master Splinter waved goodbye to his sons next to you. Once the boys had left, he informed you he was going to go meditate, and to come find him if you needed anything.

About 45 minutes later, you were casually watching YouTube videos on Donnie’s computer when a flashing red light appeared on the screen. It was indicating that Donnie’s program was intercepting a message from the Foot’s closed communication server. A message popped up on the screen, and you gasped.

“We have captured the turtles. Continue with the plan.”

Then a video feed loaded up on the main screen.

Your blood ran cold.

It looked like the feed from a security camera, depicting Leo, Mikey, and Donnie all locked in glass cages, restrained with thin tubes of red connected to their arms. They looked weak, they looked bad.

“What….? No… No, not this… please no…!”

Where was Raphael? He was nowhere to be seen. How did they get captured so fast…? They had barely been gone an hour!

Your mind was racing. You recognized those machines. Dr Stockman used them to take blood samples from Bebop and Rocksteady. If that was the case, there was no time to lose.

You made up your mind.

You snuck past the dojo and muttered a quick apology to Master Splinter. You knew Master Splinter wouldn’t let you go, so you kept quiet. Then you grabbed the handheld GPS device Donnie left on his work table. You entered the location on the map where the message was sent from.

The old Sacks Tower.

Time to move.

April arrived at the lair much later than expected. She and Casey had just finished speaking to the commissioner about police activities being leaked to the Foot. When they entered the living room, they were confused to only see Master Splinter waiting for them. The old rat was pacing and anxiously stroking his beard.

“Splinter? Where’s (y/n)?” April asked, confused.

Splinter shook his head.

“You don’t know where they are?” April became concerned, walking further into the lair.

“It appears, that our greatest fears have been realized.” His expression deeply troubled. Before April could ask, she noticed what Splinter was looking at.

Playing in a loop on Donatello’s monitor was old CCTV footage from when the turtles had been captured 10 years ago by Shredder and Mr Sacks. April breathed a sigh of relief, immediately recognizing the scene.

“Splinter, the turtles are safe. I spoke to Leo on the phone only 10 minutes ago. They’re staking out a warehouse in Queens. This is old footage.”

Splinter’s eyes widened and looked back to the screen. His expression turned contemplative.

“If that is so, then perhaps Miss (y/n) has made the same mistake.” He spoke gravely.

April had a look of shock. She quickly pulled out her phone and speed dialed Leo’s number.

Leo thankfully answered quickly. “Hey April, anything new?”

“Leo, is (y/n) with you?”

Leo paused a long moment and sent a look over to his brothers, getting their attention. “No…. Aren’t they at the lair?” All of his brother's eyes were suddenly on him. Leo turned the phone on speaker.

“No!! They’re gone. And there’s a video playing on Donnie’s computer. It’s a recording of you Mikey and Donnie locked up at Sacks’ estate from over 10 years ago… I think this is what (y/n) saw before they left.”

“They left?” Leo felt his heart drop into his stomach. “To go where, Sacks’ estate?” His brothers immediately started packing up their stakeout equipment to leave.

“No I don’t think so, the sender’s location was tracked, it’s still on the screen. It says it was sent from Sack Tower in Times Square.”

Donnie came over and joined in the call, typing furiously at the keyboard on his wrist. “Sacks Tower. That’s where they were spotted smuggling those stolen chemicals into the other day…! From my notifications, it appears that the message was sent through an older Foot Clan communication frequency approximately 43 minutes ago.”

“Donnie, how long will it take (y/n) to get to Sacks Tower.”

“From my calculations, if (y/n) left the lair heading to the Sacks building about 40 minutes ago, going by subway, they should arrive in about uhhh, approximately 8 minutes.”

“And how long will it take us to get there.” Raph asked.

“From where we are now, if we manage to hitch a ride on the next nonstop train to Times Square…… about 1 and a half hours.”

“Shit!”

Raph cursed loudly and turned away frustrated, and Mikey put his hands on his head. Donnie was typing away at the keypad on his arm, trying to find any kind of faster route and muttering about how stupid he was for not making you a shellcell.

“We don’t have a minute to waste. Let’s move out.”

That’s all they needed to hear. Everyone sprung into action and booked it for the closest subway station manhole cover.

“April, we are headed to Sacks Tower as fast as we can. And get ahold of the police commissioner again. Whoever gave us the information to come to this warehouse tonight was intentionally planted with misinformation. There was no sign of the Foot at the warehouse. …..It was most likely a diversion.”

“Right. I’ll get back to you soon.”

Leo hung up the phone and jumped off the apartment building and dove down towards the street’s manhole cover.

Leo grit his teeth.

“Hold on (y/n).”

The halls of the building were eerily empty. This place made your skin crawl. The laboratory felt all too similar to the one you had been trapped in before. But this one had clearly been abandoned for a long time. Broken glass, graffiti, turned over chairs, scattered paper. But strangely the power was still on. You didn’t dare try to use the elevator in fear of giving away your position. But you were confused as to why you had yet to see any guards. This is where the message was sent from, the turtles had to be here, right?

You climbed the steps to another floor, but paused as you creaked open the door exiting the stairwell. This floor felt like a world apart from the previous ones. It was clean.

And the lights were on.

You kept low, and hyper vigilant. Steadying your breathing like Leo had taught you, you crept into the sterile white hallway. There were glass windows along the hall looking into different labs. One held chemistry equipment, another held big bulky medical equipment that clicked and beeped. Finally, the last room at the end of the hall, a room with no windows. You had a sinking feeling in your gut, but still you crept towards the door. Slowly and quietly you pulled open the heavy door, and revealed a large lit room with a high ceiling, and there you saw it.

“Guys….!”

There along the back wall were 4 glass boxes with 3 of the turtles strung up and being drained of blood. You had found them! Seeing no one else in the room, you rushed in.

“I’m going to get you out of here, just you wait!” You went to the first machine in front of Donnie and reached out to touch the screen-

Your hand passed right through.

“What…?” You tried to touch it again but there was nothing there.

The hologram distorted, and then the turtles disappeared. You gasped.

It was a trap.

You turned around to book it towards the exit, but the door was opening again. Bebop and Rocksteady squeezed through the small door one at a time, and blocked your exit. Then over an intercom you heard the familiar laugh that sent a shiver down your spine.

Stockman chuckled darkly. “Just how I planned it! Like catching a fly with honey. So predictable!”

You backed up slowly as Bebop and Rocksteady approached you.

“Did you miss us, little kitty?” Rocksteady sneered.

The intercom buzzed as Stockman spoke again. “Bebop, Rocksteady, keep them occupied until I arrive. I will be there momentarily. And let’s not have a repeat of last time, please!” There was a clicking sound and the intercom went quiet.

Bebop chuckled. “Hell yeah! It’s been so long since we last played! Let’s make the most of it.”

“That’s right! And we gotta pay you back for all the trouble you caused us! We missed you so much after you left. You wanna go first Beebs?”

“My man!” Bebop smiled at Rocksteady and clasped his hand, they both laughed.

You tried your best to steady your breathing like Leo taught you. Your hands were trembling. But you needed a way out. Bebop and Rocksteady were not fast, if you timed it right, maybe you can get past them to the door.

Bebop approached you. You stayed still and waited. Then when he got close enough, you ran right towards him, surprising Bebop. He reached out to grab you but you slid right between his legs, then jumped up behind him and tried to run past Rocksteady before he could react. He was still too close to you and managed to grab you from behind, but you were ready for him. Just like in training, you reached up and grabbed him around his neck, and taking a deep breath, you threw all your strength forward and down and managed to flip Rocksteady onto his back- stunning him. You quickly jumped over him and ran for the door, slamming into it fast and wretched the handle to pull it open.

Locked. (Warning for graphic depictions of torture ahead.)

“No…!” You felt a bruising grip close around your arm, and you were torn away from the door. “NO!!” You cried out as you were thrown hard onto the floor between the two oversized mutants.

“See? Now that’s your problem. You gotta go makin’ our job harder than it needs to be!” Bebop complained.

Rocksteady was picking himself back up, rubbing the back of his head tenderly. “Don’t let them get to ya Beebs, we’ll sort them out quick before Stockman gets here.” Bebop then reached into his pocket and pulled out an all too familiar black taser.

Rocksteady took the taser and chuckled. “Little kitty needs a check-up!”

You tried to get up and run, but Rocksteady stomped down hard on your left arm. There was a sickening snap and you screamed, writhing in pain. You were pinned.

“Tsk, tsk. You know what happens when kitty gets naughty!” The taser was flicked on, all you could do was close your eyes before a strong surge of electricity was shot into your ribcage and throughout your body. You convulsed as the shocks seized you, your shoulder getting dislocated from the spasms, then collapsed back on the floor.

“Just like good ol’ times!” Rocksteady passed the taser to Bebop.

Rocksteady laughed and removed his foot from your arm, then Bebop tased you in the ribs again. You yelped and rolled onto your stomach, tucking your very broken arm underneath you and tried to crawl away.

“Hey, where ya goin? We’re just getting STARTED!” Rocksteady punctuated his sentence by kicking you in the stomach hard enough to throw you across the room. You hit the ground and your body rolled another few feet until you stopped on your side and curled in on yourself, the air knocked out of your lungs.

Bebop took his time strolling over to you, and grabbed you by the hair to lift you up. You coughed and gasped for air, grabbing at his hand and tried to pry his fingers off of his grip.

“Think you can just up and leave whenever you want, do ya?” He growled in your ear, then dropped you down haphazardly to the floor. You were on your knees, buckled forward and holding your left shoulder, when suddenly Bebop’s foot stomped down on your right ankle and you heard a loud crunch.

You shrieked.

Exhausted and riddled with unbearable pain, you crippled to the floor. It took everything you had just to pull breath.

“Alright, I’m back! How is our lovely patient doing?” Came the cheerful sing-song voice of Dr Stockman entering the room through the locked door, Karai tailing behind him.

“Hey boss! Uhhh, we were just warming them up for ya! See? They can’t run away no more.” Bebop nudged your side with his foot, knocking you onto your side so Stockman could see the pain riddled on your face. You were barely conscious by this point.

“Excellent! Bring them to me.” Stockman ordered.

Bebop picked you up by your good arm and carried you over to where Dr Stockman was walking to in the back of the room. Karai stepped in Bebop’s way for a moment, taking in your beaten appearance, and back-handed your face hard for good measure, leaving a shiny bruise and angry red gash across your cheek. That woke you up a bit.

Just enough to retaliate.

You took a deep breath and tore your arm out of Bebop’s grasp and punched Karai in the stomach, hard enough to throw her into a large display screen next to where Stockman was standing. Stockman squawked in surprise. She rolled onto the floor, and pushed herself up onto her side. Spitting a bit of blood onto the ground and wiping away at her lip.

You tried to stand on your good leg but you were too weak and collapsed back to the floor. Bebop and Rocksteady grabbed you by each of your arms and brought you in front of Stockman.

He was looking at you in awe, and reached out tentatively to swipe at the blood on your cheek. He rushed over to his desk, jumping a bit in excitement. He put a drop of your blood onto a slide, and observed it under his microscope.

“Ha…! HA HA…! YES!!” Stockman shouted in excitement and did a little dance. Bebop and Rocksteady exchanged a confused look and Karai stood up and walked over to Stockman, eyeing you angrily and rolling her shoulder.

“What does this mean?” She questioned him.

“It means that the mutation was a SUCCESS!!! Those stupid turtles must have triggered it somehow. And now we can finally proceed with the plan!!!” He grabbed something off his desk and skipped over to the stairs leading up to the circular titanium base in the middle of the room. “Bring them here!!” He called over, waving his hand to Bebop and Rocksteady.

They dragged you over to Stockman, and were deposited on the round podium that sat under a large glass tube. Stockman started to pull down long rubber tubes from above, and attached large thick needles to the ends. You tried once again to crawl away with your good arm, as Bebop and Rocksteady retreated.

But Stockman approached you from behind. In a quick jab, he stabbed the two needled tubes deep into your back. You grunted and groaned in pain, but could do nothing, collapsing on the podium. Beaten, bruised, and bleeding.

When Dr Stockman was finished, he descended the stairs and rushed over to his computer, giggling excitedly he typed in a command and the glass tube descended over you until it clicked into place at the sturdy titanium base. Locking you inside.

“They’ll be placed in suspended animation. Once the tank is completely filled with the preservation fluid, they’ll become nothing more than a convenient blood bag, supplying an endless supply of mutagen for our mutant army.” Stockman rubbed his hands together evilly.

“And what about the turtles?” Karai asked.

“It is already too late for them to stop us. Even if they manage to get through your guards, they will be unable to free them from this tank. Once I start the filtration process, I will delete the programmed command to empty or release the containment cylinder. They won’t be able to free them without my help!” Stockman typed away quickly at his computer.

One of the tubes connected to your back began to pull blood from your body, leading up through a small opening in the top of the cylinder then down into a canister at the base. Then from the second tube, a white milky substance full of liquid nutrients began to filter through and down into your body. It did nothing to numb the pain you felt as you laid there in a state of half consciousness.

Suddenly, the loud banging of gunshots could be heard somewhere outside the door.

“We’re not ready yet! Hold them back!” Stockman ordered Bebop and Rocksteady, who positioned themselves between Stockman and the door.

The door suddenly blew wide open, and the four turtles rushed into the room, angry and weapons at the ready.

“Where’s (y/n).”

Part 7

@itsberrydreemurstuff @thecreat0r64 @eli-chris @kurlyfrasier @autisticnutcase @drenix004 @donniesgirlie @cherryp-op @foggyturtleknightangel @blackrockshooter780 @l-n-g-t @peachesdabunny @silverwatergalaxy @willy-the-witch @caeliasaida @veri-varily @xnorthstar3x

If anyone else wants to be tagged for the next update, let me know in the comments! :]

#tmnt x reader #bayverse tmnt #tmnt bayverse #tmnt bayverse x reader #tmnt 2014 x reader #tmnt 2016 x reader #tmnt imagines #tmnt fanfic #bayverse donatello #bayverse raphael #bayverse leonardo #bayverse michelangelo

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zanrelley · 2 years

Text

Adrift 8

ROTTMNT Fanfic

Summary:

Leonardo isn’t rescued from the Krang Prison Dimension by his brothers, forced to flee from his cellmate in the void. The greatest ninja warrior of all time has to learn how to adapt to his new home, traversing low gravity, discovering the usefulness of spaceship corpses from worlds far beyond his own, and finding ways to survive such a harsh abandoned world.

Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7

AO3 Chapter 8

Chapter Eight: It's Okay Not to be Okay

Word Count: 2.6k

The time it would’ve taken them to walk there was cut in half by cheating with Donnie’s battle shell, the blades slowing to a quiet stop as Donnie landed and Casey hopped off of him. They were in front of a house that looked abandoned, but Donnie knew that was just the front Draxum had kept up so no one would investigate the building. Regardless, he sighed as he forced the door open with a blunt force hit with his staff, pushing the old wood aside as he stepped in.

“This would’ve been much simpler if he was just at the apartment.” Donnie grumbled to himself, still in an irritable mood as he activated the floodlights on his battle shell. The house seemed empty, just filled with abandoned and miscellaneous alchemy projects on every surface. He had already texted April about that inquiry, she told him she hadn’t heard from or seen him for the past few days before the Krang attack.

Casey cautiously stepped inside after him, not knowing what to expect. He was confused by all the equipment everywhere, the sealed bottles of brightly colored fluids and jars of biological matter. Was this guy a mad scientist? He smiled as he looked at Donnie, what were the chances of two manic geniuses in the same family?

Guaranteed for the Hamato clan, apparently.

Donnie put his goggles down over his eyes as he decided to scan the house for Draxum, sighing as his annoyance ticked up another level at his results, void of any proof of him being there.

“He isn’t here.” Donnie huffed as he deactivated his lights and headed back for the door, only giving Casey a few seconds to move out of his way. It hurt to be brushed off like that, for someone to make it so obvious they did not want you there. Casey fought back the small spike of ire in his chest, he couldn’t get mad at Donatello, he knew exactly what he was going through. They were mourning the same person, even if Casey had two Leo’s weighing down his heart.

Part of him found it funny in a small way that this attitude Donnie had reminded him a little of Leo yesterday during all the chaos. He didn’t want to listen to anyone else but himself, he had a goal and he was going to do anything it took to make it a reality. Granted, the stakes were slightly different, so Casey didn’t see his need to step in and try to say anything yet like he had when he went off on Leo.

He had that strange feeling of responsibility for these younger versions of his mentors, but he fought it down. It wasn’t his place to try to correct them, he was sure Donnie would get through this without him needing to ruffle his feathers.

“ Ahem . We don’t have all day!” Donnie called in annoyance from outside, bringing Casey from his thoughts. He allowed a roll of his eyes but kept a small and only partially fake smile on his face as he headed back outside.

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Mikey was sitting at the kitchen table, one of Donnie’s hoodies that he had stolen from his room loosely hanging around his shorter frame, and his hands were stuffed into oven mitts as he had a spread of papers in front of him. His hands stung when he wrote, but the oven mitts helped with the pain as he was determined to plan out Leo’s return party.

He would take a break every once in a while, checking to make sure he hadn’t ruined his bandages and then continued his planning. He had drawn out some ideas, like what if his brothers wore blue bandanas for when Leo came back or decorated their own with blue paint? Maybe face paint?

Mikey giggled to himself as he imagined Leo’s reaction. The first thing he had set in stone was what he planned to make for Leo first when he got home. He knew pizza would probably be the first thing he would want, but Mikey wanted it to be special. He had made a list of all the things he knew Leo loved and decided that he would let Leo pick one and he would make it for him right away.

He would make him whatever he wanted for a week straight if he wanted him to, the rest of their lives if he asked. He already had the supplies ready to make the said menu, a bottle of glue, and a bag of glitter sitting nearby as he put the idea off to the side. He was writing down all of Leo’s favorite things to do, wishing he could pull out his phone to look up the newest issue of his favorite comics.

Mikey would get anything in the world for Leo if it meant he could see him again. His bright spirit flickered at the sad thought, it had come and gone the entire time he had been working on his project. That one hurt a little more after almost an hour of it trickling in, the small cloud above his head was getting harder to ignore as it grew darker and heavier.

The orange ninja sighed dramatically and leaned back in his chair, letting the blue crayon in his hand go as he looked up at the ceiling of the lair. Maybe he needed a real break, one to get away from this table at least. He agreed with himself and pushed his chair back to get up, keeping his oven mitts on as he walked out of the kitchen.

Maybe it was time to sit with Raph and see if he could get his older brother talking. He wondered what he was doing this whole time while he was working on his project. Mikey felt recharged a little mentally, he didn’t feel any better about losing Leo, but if his big brother needed someone to talk to, he was more than ready to listen.

Mikey wandered the lair for a bit, searching all the rooms and finding no sign of Raphael. He could hear their dad watching his shows in his room and knew he wasn’t in there either. He even went as far as to look into Raph’s room and found it empty.

Mikey felt a spike of fear in his chest as he kept looking, where could Raph have gone? He didn’t leave him here alone, did he? No, Raph didn’t want anyone to be alone, there was no chance he would just disappear on him like that.

Mikey fought the urge to intertwine his hands since it was too hard to do with oven mitts and it would probably agitate his injured skin as he considered yelling to see if Raph really would come running, just to make sure he was there somewhere. He paused when he found himself outside of Leo’s room as the thought crossed his mind. He waddled over to one of the windows of the rail car and peeked into it, a small part of him hoping to witness a miracle.

His eyes widened when he saw Raph’s large frame inside instead of the one his heart wished for, sitting on the floor, messing with something he couldn’t see. Mikey felt familiar tears gently pushing at the underside of his eyelids, he did his best to wipe at them before they could surface, reaching to open the door to Leo’s room. His entrance startled Raphael, who looked up in surprise.

Mikey couldn’t hide the quiver in his voice.

“Found you.” He forced out, not knowing what else to say. Raph’s face became worried as he immediately went to stand up, but Mikey threw himself on top of his brother, forcing him to stay seated as he embraced him. They didn’t say anything as Raph hugged him close and Mikey squeezed him as he tried not to cry.

“Everything alright, bro?” Raphael asked softly, his cracking voice betraying him. Mikey shook his head as he curled in on himself, he felt better with Raph’s arms holding him. How was he so good at hugging? It must have been a big brother thing.

“It’s okay if you’re sad too.” Mikey said after a few minutes of hugging in silence as he swallowed down a few sniffles. Raph was surprised by the statement, biting his lip as he looked around Leo’s room. Was that why he came to see him? He was trying to get him to talk about his feelings?

Raph didn’t know how to go about this, he didn’t expect to be caught vulnerable like this. He had tried, he really did, to distract himself when Mikey had asked for his space. But, he always ended up circling back to Leo’s room, looking in through the windows and hoping to see his blue brother lounging around reading a comic like yesterday was all a big nightmare that could be left behind by crawling out of bed.

It got too much for him as he ended up walking inside, looking at all of Leo’s stuff, everything Leo wasn’t going to see again for however long it would take for Donnie and Draxum to figure out how to get him back. His hands clenched into fists as he fought back distraught tears. Why wasn’t he able to come up with all that smart stuff too?

Why couldn’t he just solve all their problems and protect his family from anything the world threw at them? Raphael knew it was unreasonable to give himself those standards, his brothers were amazing in their own ways and he had always recognized that, and encouraged it to a fault unless it was going to their heads. They were always so amazing, they excelled at anything they tried to do.

Raph always thought his greatest asset was being the strong one, the tank, the frontline who always made sure if anything was going to get to his brothers, it went through him first. He was the oldest, he was the biggest, he was the anchor to their team. If anything happened to them, leader or not, Raph felt like it was on him.

But ever since Leo demanded that Casey close that portal, he had never felt so powerless.

He shook as his body gave in to his thoughts, bringing Mikey into a tighter hug as he curled into his younger brother’s embrace. Mikey gently pet his head with his oven mitt hands as he felt like he was crumbling, inside and out. His eyes burned, and he couldn’t fight the tears back as he closed them.

And what if Casey was wrong? What if Mikey wasn’t going to die from making that portal? They would have Leo back. Was it wrong that he stopped Mikey from making it, even considering the risk?

Would they ever forgive him? Would Leo ever forgive him if he had made the wrong call?

Mikey sort of expected this but he couldn’t stop his own tears as he knew Raph was finally surrendering to the sadness in his heart. His big brother had been trying to be strong for them like he always did and Mikey wasn’t going to allow that charade to play out longer than necessary. He loved his brothers and they needed to know they were allowed to be sad, they didn’t have to pretend it was all sunshine and hope for a tomorrow where Leo came back.

They were allowed to miss him, they were allowed to worry about him, they were allowed to cry and scream and flail their arms and legs until their whole body went sore and their throats burned. Whatever it took to keep them from bottling all these ugly and gross feelings inside would be worth it as long as they stayed together.

They lost their brother. It was plain and simple when you got to the root of it. They needed to let out the fears, the tears, and the helpless feelings of failure. It was the only way they were going to function as a team to get Leo back in their arms.

He squirmed a bit as Raph gave one of the strongest bear hugs Mikey had ever experienced in his life but allowed it as he hugged his big brother’s head to his chest, his arms free from any damage. The feeling of Raph’s tears soaking through the hoodie was a weird sensation to Mikey, he couldn’t remember the last time Raph had ever let himself have a full-fledged cry.

He smiled softly as his emotions were coming back down, doing his best to rub his brother’s head and back as they sat together in Leo’s room a while longer.

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Donatello’s anxiety was flourishing, slowly creeping bigger and bigger as he and Casey roamed the streets of the city. They had gotten considerably closer to the heart of it while looking for Barry. Donnie would’ve given up on this search and begun scrounging together prototypes in his lab already if the lack of people didn’t stir solicitude in his gut.

Casey hadn’t made any comments about the lack of populace and Donnie thought it was the cold shoulder treatment, it was what his brothers would have done if there was this level of unattended tension between them. He kept reminding himself that Casey didn’t seem to have any experience with being in the Hidden City, there wasn’t a logical way for him to know how the city normally functioned, henceforth his lack of questioning made sense. But it still irked him.

“It’s not normally like this.” Don forced himself to grumble the words out, he never expected himself to be the type to try to force a social interaction but here he was, hoping Casey would take it as an opening to talk to him. Their shared silence was starting to bother him. Aside from their unresolved tension and silence, he also wondered if Casey had any ideas about what might be happening here, it was highly probable that this was correlated to the Krang attack.

Future boy didn’t even look his way, his attention more concerned with a yokai walking in their direction. Donnie couldn’t hold back the sputter of gibberish spewing from his mouth as Casey took off into a jog toward said yokai, catching the stranger’s attention to speak with him. He knew it was a ridiculous thought considering everything so far but had no one taught Casey stranger danger?

Don caught up to them and caught the tail end of Casey’s questioning, and apparently, there was a Krang attack in the city, and a few humans had gotten through the barriers to the underground and had infected some of the residents. He told them that most yokai were taking shelter in the main parts of the city, the infected having already been contained when they finally stopped flooding in.

Donnie didn’t want to think about what would’ve happened otherwise, if the gateway hadn’t portal chopped (his heart throbbed as he remembered Leo saying it) the Technodrome in half, there would’ve been plenty more infected running rampant. He still had the spiteful little voice in the back of his mind telling him to ignore this, he only wanted to worry about Leo, it wasn’t like they could solve a problem on this scale right now anyway.

Casey turned to him when the yokai walked off, waiting for him to decide what they should do with their newly acquired information. Donatello still wanted to find Draxum and he was certain the warrior alchemist wouldn’t be able to resist helping the other yokai if he wasn’t infected himself. It would be out of character for someone who had at one point dedicated their life to creating yokai warrior mutants to protect yokai-kind to suddenly turn their back on those very same people during a time of crisis, as a wanted criminal or not.

Donnie sighed.

“We need to follow that lead. Draxum might be there.” Donnie decided and Casey only responded with a silent nod. Okay, maybe he should apologize sooner rather than later, having a shadow with eyes was really starting to get under his skin. He reached out and activated Casey's mask to fall over his face, it startled the other teenager who seemed to give him a questioning look.

"The residents here don't usually like humans, it's better to make sure we try to hide that little detail about you if we're going into a shelter for yokai that just got attacked by them." Donnie explained, turning away to follow the directions they were given before Casey could silently nod again.

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#rottmnt #rottmnt fanfic #rottmnt fanfiction #rottmnt donnie #rottmnt mikey #rottmnt raph #rottmnt donatello #rottmnt michelangelo #rottmnt raphael #rottmnt casey #rottmnt casey jones #adrift #rottmnt adrift

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milkytheholy1 · 3 years

Text

TMNT Master list

Link to the second masterlist

Fluff = 🌸

Angst = 💢

Lime = 🌵

Requested = (R)

Prompt list

2012

Leo

Goodbye Leonardo, P2 - based on the events of broken foot, reader is done with Leo ignoring her. 💢 Female reader

Not traditional - Leo gets anxious about his feelings. (R) 🌸 male reader

Apocalyptic love series link.

I heard you - while Leo is in a comma, the reader speaks to him everyday. (R) 🌸 Female reader

Donnie

Hello nurse - April drags the reader to a costume party, but what will Donnie think of th costume? 🌸 Female reader

Well done science boy - Donnie's been working on a project all night and the reader congratulates him. 🌸 Gender neutral reader

Happy birthday! - it's the readers birthday, but they haven't told anyone, what happens when Donnie finds out? (R) 🌸 gender neutral reader

Hot - reader can't focus when Donnie talks science. (R) 🌸 Gender neutral reader

Wrong about me! - reader walks in on April cheating on donnie, but what does the genius think of it? (R) 💢 gender neutral reader

Raph

Heard you from a mile away - reader has the best hearing around, a certain red-handed turtle has to test them to their limits. (R) 🌸 gender neutral reader

Hots for you - reader comes out as bisexual. (R) 🌸 Female reader

2003

Leo

Third-base - reader has a surprise for Leo. 🌸 Female reader

Donnie

Drawn to you - works for any Donnie, just decided to put it here. 🌸 Gender neutral reader

Mikey

Turtle Titan to the rescue! - Mikey has to save the reader from the purple dragons, will he be able to keep his secret identity! (R) 🌸 Female reader

Bayverse

Donnie

Life is a dream, P1, P2, P3, P4 - life with Donnie is a dream, but it has to be real, right? 🌸💢 Gender neutral reader

Five Years - Donnie invents a time machine, him and the reader travel to 2021 to see a surprise. (R) 🌸 Gender neutral reader

Five years alternative ending

Radio Ga Ga - Donnie thinks the reader hates him, but after having a breakdown, was everything a lie? (R) 🌸 Female reader

Raph

I promise - Reader is haunted by her mother's marks, Raph is the only one who hears her out. (R) 💢 Female reader.

Seeing you - Reader feels Invincible, Raph comes to help them, boyfriend comes home. (R) 💢 female reader

Mikey

Parading in style! - Mikey finally gets to go to a pride parade with his boyfriend thanks to a watch Donnie made, reader has to stick up for him when trouble arises. (R) 🌸💢 male reader

RISE

Leo

Just trying to relax - 1, 2 - reader gets drunk and Leo decides to stop by to check on them. 🌸 Female reader

You're not gross - Leo gets sick and is ashamed to see the reader. (R) 🌸 gender neutral reader

Tired yet? - reader can't sleep, neither can Leo. (R) 🌸 gender neutral reader.

Online buds - Leo and reader are gaming buddies, but what happens when they both want more? (R) 🌸 male reader

Jealous much? - Leo gets jealous when the reader has to flirt with some bad guys. 🌸 Female reader

Candy crush - reader has magical abilities, Leo disrupts their game of candy crush and they take on some bad guys. (R) 🌸 gender neutral reader

Older brother to the rescue - Leo gets embarrassed when confessing to the reader, looks like big brother Raph has to step on. (R) 🌸 Gender neutral reader

I'm not mikey - reader compares Leo to Mikey which makes him extremely jealous and full of anxiety, meanwhile the boys are fighting a squid mutant in the lair. (R) 💢🌸 gender neutral reader

Distraction - Leo has to distract the reader long enough for his plan to work. (R) 🌸 gender neutral reader

Snow day - snow day hoorayyyyy. (R) 🌸 gender neutral reader

Busy - Leo and reader are in a full out make out session when his brothers interrupt. (R) 🌸 gender neutral reader

Winner - reader discovers the world of lair games, Leo's getting his crown back. 🌸 Gender neutral reader

Actions speak louder than words - Leo's ashamed of his stripes, reader comfort's him. (R) 🌸 Gender neutral reader

Problem - reader and Leo get into a fight. (R) 💢 Gender neutral reader

Pointy - reader is embarrassed about their elf ears, Leo doesn't help. (R) 🌸💢 Gender neutral reader

Anytime - Leo and reader get into a fight after Leo skips out on an important event. (R) 💢 Female reader

Dare - the gang play a game of truth or dare, what happens when the reader gets dared to kiss Leo? (R) 🌸 Gender neutral reader

Late night, deep thoughts - reader and Leo stay up late and share some deep thoughts. 🌸 Gender neutral reader

What's up, Doc? - Leo is jealous of Bug's Bunny. (R) 🌸 Gender neutral reader

I don't deserve you - reader doesn't think she deserves Leo, he doesn't get a choice. (R) 💢 female reader

Draw me any day - Leo finds the reader drawing him during training. (R) 🌸 Gender neutral reader

Boyfriend material - Leo is jealous. (R) 🌵 female reader

Why didn't you come? - Leo avoids the readers birthday party, but why? (R) 🌸💢 female reader

Donnie

I've got a date - Donnie's been trying to ask the reader out on a date for over a year, with the help of April and how brothers, will he get that date? 🌸 Gender neutral reader

Trust me - Donnie struggles to trust his feelings, April convinces him to confess. 🌸 Gender neutral reader

Doctor feelings strikes again - reader and Donnie are in a fight, time for doctor feelings. (R) 🌸💢 Female reader.

Can I pick? - reader joins in the fight much to Donnie's annoyance. (R) 🌸 gender neutral reader

Bad to the bone - Donnie's bad boy persona will be the death of him. (R) 🌸 Female reader

We're not done here - reader is self conscious, Donnie wants to help. (R) 🌸 gender neutral reader

Coward - Donnie's been ignoring the reader, April takes it into her own hands. (R) 🌸💢 Gender neutral reader

Tough cookie - reader has been friends with the turtles for a while, all but one. (R) 🌸 gender neutral reader

Why? - reader wants to know more about Donnie's tech. (R) 🌸 gender neutral reader

Experimental Bo - Donnie invites the reader to watch him to test his new weapon, what's the best way to test it by fighting bad guys? 🌸 Gender neutral reader

Record breaking dive - Donnie's avoiding the obvious interest he has in the reader, what happens when he overhears your conversation with April on the phone? (R) 🌸 Gender neutral reader

Daydream Believer - reader is self conscious about her singing, Donnie happens to hear it for himself. (R) 🌸 Female reader

Proposition - reader hates talking about their problems, Donnie hates hugs, what's the middle ground? (R) 🌸 Gender neutral reader

Say it - Donnie's been in his lab a little too long, only one way to get him out. (R) 🌸🌵 female reader

Bad boy got game - the turtles accidentally break the reader's camera, it's up to Donnie to fix it, but can he protect his bad boy image? (R) 🌸 Gender neutral reader

Lip locked - Donnie keeps getting distracted by the reader boring their lip, he has to take action. (R) 🌸 Female reader

Mikey

I don't hate you - Mikey is determined that the reader hates him, he couldn't be more wrong. (R) 🌸 Gender neutral reader

Raph

Get well soon - reader has just come back from surgery, Raph wants to make sure his best friend is feeling okay. (R) 🌸 Gender neutral reader

I'm here - reader can't bare being on their own, what's Raph going to do? (R) 🌸 Gender neutral reader

Into the sewers - Raph gets lost in the sewers, oh no. (R) 🌸 Gender neutral reader

Little nightmares - reader struggled with nightmares and can't sleep, all they needed was a snapping turtle. (R) 🌸 Gender neutral reader

All turtles (platonic)

Lunchtime blues - reader is getting picked on, the boys surprise them when they visit reader at school. (R) 🌸💢 Gender neutral reader

A little TLC - reader hasn't been having a good time lately and it's up to the brothers to help. (R) 🌸 Female reader

Headcanons

HC #1 - 'freak'

HC #2 - weapons

HC #3 - mornings

HC #4 - fashion

HC #5 - boyfriend Raph

HC #6 - Leo's cheerleader

HC #7 - Badass reader

HC #8 - Leo's cheerleader part 2

HC #9 - Hair care

HC #10 - Boyfriend Leo

HC #11 - Dead weight

HC #12 - Eczema

HC #13 - Vision be damned

HC #14 - Dance partner

HC #15 - The Last Airbender

HC #16 - Cheesy smiles

HC #17 - Facials

HC #18 - Boyfriend Donnie

HC #19 - 2012Donnie busy

HC #20 - Periods

HC #21 - Mikey's sick boyfriend

HC #22 - Ballerina S/O

HC #23 - Aches and pain

HC #24 - Non-binary

HC #25 - shell scratches

HC #26 - first kiss

962 notes · View notes

supercorp-hosie · 3 years

Text

My thoughts for Legacies 316: (here we go again😂)

(I’m combining after thoughts with live thoughts)

1) The soundtracks for this episode are amazing, they fit very well even for Finsie that I heard that a lot of people were complaining on Reddit.

2) I finally get my team Sowanby! I just feel so much from them! They kind of make a great team, but please, do not go on another heist again. You both sucks at that! The holes are, the museum don’t have a fucking alarm for Leonardo DaVinci’s work? Are you kidding me? And Landon beating the shit out of the guard but not putting him out first is so dumb. The worst is Cleo calling Landon’s name so loud, I can’t😂😂😂😂😂😂 you don’t want people to be on your back when you have the Malivore threat going on guys! And ha! You guys are on the headline! That’s why I really feel like these supernaturals are so outdated and solidified from modern technology, even in 2030! Are you going to tell me everything technology will still be the same like now?? Come on, there’ll be cameras watching everywhere. Like they can see Cleo using magic! I need my Trimini (or bridge) coven and Hope starting to integrate the supernatural world with the modern world. About Trimini and Hope future career, click here.

3) the line about “many who shaped it are never acknowledged” I stand! After that, about the key card my random thoughts were about Landon being the one that stole the key card😂 just out of the blue and I’m proven wrong though.

4) Landon bonding with Cleo!!!! They thought the same way, and “I can promise that anyone that have to get to you, they have to get to me” is so strong! But the scene after, is the moment I started really doubting Landon, the look is too alarming. But there are still Sowanby scenes😭😭😭 and the melted heart mud... I mean I genuinely believed that the spell didn’t work because Landon is also mud himself. But in hindsight it is horrific, like the serial killer is just standing next to you but and the signs are right in front of you.

5) Malivore mud being artistically friendly! I can’t haha! Oh and when Holarke walked on Sowanby inspiring moment🤣🤣🤣I can’t, they act like both of them are cheating on one another it’s hilarious. Thank you for acknowledging each other Holarke and Sowanby🤣. By now, I should have known that’s MaliLandon. It’s humiliating because Holarke and Sowanby got me so happy that I didn’t see the clues lmao! Because there’s this line: “Following the footstep of the Renaissance greatest man? ” but this thing, Cleo only did it with Leonardo, with whom she slept with......

6) And damn, after that, I felt like a FOOL, CLOWN, WHATEVER after that! All I have for team Sowanby is fake 🙃🙃🙃🤡🤡🤡 Anyway we still have to admit that the promise still stand true right, cuz it’s literal.🤣🤣🤣 MaliLandon fulfills his promise by eating Cleo. TYPICAL.

7) Holarke! Clarke is still handsome as ever😍. We can see his presence is clearly affecting Josie and making Hope giving him information. Can we talk about how cute is he sleeping soundly here?

8) Lizzie being the only unaffected queen here. AND IT’S FINALLY LIZZIE’S TURN FOR “AD SONNUM” I can totally see her pleasantness in doing that to somebody after being on the receiving end🤣🤣🤣 Josie and Hope had done it before so now we actually see her doing it. I somehow feel completed.

9) The look Hope and Josie shared. Hosie!

10) Josie is going to be the death of me! I like her look. And how the camera moving upward gosh! And I’m totally digressing here, what is a razzleberry? And what is a slush? I have no idea what they are, I just feel like tasting what she tasting now. Lizzie’s line, crashing and splashing😂 Am I colour blind? Cuz I really can’t tell whether Hope is wearing dark blue or dark green 😅 if it’s green, then the traffic lights colour are back again lol. If blue, then Hosie matching clothes! Did Finsie ever have matching colours? I’m just wondering.

11) Hosie scene! They talked about how seeing Clarke traumatised Josie~~ damn and Josie says traumatised is her permanent resting state. I mean even on her birthday she was buried alive lmao. And Hope wants to help Josie stop the traumas by sacrificing herself to defeat Malivore, like by literally dying. Which she didn’t want because she didn’t want to live forever.

12) Holarke scene again! I love all those banters and their dynamics😂😂 how Hope is the only one that trusts Clarke now. The mimic spell! It’s their thing😍😍. Oh it totally surprised me that Clarke isn’t mud man anymore. I’m really happy for him, because he finally break himself out of the abuse! It seems like triad is totally gone?? But I still kind of think that there may be something more? And Clarke’s reaction to Hope opening the artefact! 🤣🤣🤣 and the way that Clarke sensed the familiarity with Cleo! Yea boy, she’s the inspiration to the creation of you.

13) Clarke keeps calling Hope and Landon kids🤣 how’s the feeling of getting kid!Hope kicking your ass and saving you😂😂😂 oh she’s totally your equal. Frenemies at best! YES! I love Holarke bonding. And the fact that Clarke being Hope inspiration to believe in friendship and her family now can help her to defeat Malivore, I Stan! Don’t lose sight of the corner! Josie! Lizzie! Clarke! Yes you have them! I’m glad that Clarke didn’t die, I’ll be so mad because the writer would be bringing him back for nothing. Oh the incendia is painful, affecting me more than the fake looking MaliLandon eating Cleo. The height difference again🤣 with Holarke this time.

14) I love Maleb clothes, not really shipping them just short form for their bromance😂 but I do enjoy if there suggests shipping cuz it’s fun! Love that them being supportive of each other, superheroing, and the hero name🤣🤣they’re clueless too. Poor Kaleb and Cleo. I really need his backstory 😫

15) about hero names, I’m still having playback of “blursome and essential” in my mind. MG is looking at the mask longer than Kaleb, I feel like he’s missing Ethan, like a lot. Another thing is, since we see the effect of someone else being compelled so clearly, but we never seen Ethan’s compelling effects. Or it’s a budget matter? They must be kidding right? So maybe Ethan is really faking it? So that leads us to Lethan....

16) if my suspicion is true, then damn, Ethan is using Lizzie to get into SBS? I’m worried for Lizzie’s wellbeing. Also the look on Josie when Ethan drives near tight after she said like some eligible will fall out of the sky🤣🤣🤣 the timing is impeccable lmao. For real, Lizzie wanting Ethan to be Hope’s rebound after her kiss with him in the trio imagination, is ....so the trio is now sharing guys now? Jandon is still there in the history! It’ll be like a very messing love multi-triangle😌😌😌

17) the way Lizzie talked about how Hope is perfect the whole way and judging by the day when they arrived at SBS? That’s very long! Lmao, Lizzie are you sure you’re not in love with Hope? Hizzie rights! (I don’t even know when I started to ship Hizzie, it’s a mystery🤣) I think I can only talk like that about my love. Why don’t you make you and your sister Hope’s rebound? I’ll be happy with what I get🤣

18) The decision to bring Ethan on a tour, is so bad. What if ethan ended up enrolling SBS and Alaric can’t deny the application? Did she ever think of that?? And Josie and Mg is going to face the consequences in the near future🤣 dreadful! From there I already felt the cliche sweetness that when you’re trying to be a wingwoman and ended up “selling” yourself out🤣🤣 fuck CW for cutting the scenes of Lizzie’s epic facial expression when she was slapped with her own words😂😂😂anyway, it’s no way she can refuse the ask out after 315 where Lizzie still thinks that she can’t be the chosen one when Hope is there, but someone actually chooses her even after all the Hope is perfect speech. As much as I mourn for Methan and Mizzie, I’m happy that she got someone to tell her that. But I think they’re destined to backfire😅

19) so does the Mizzie “will they won’t they?” officially end here? I’m confused. Btw it’s really a way to mention Sebastian’s death being relocated permanently 🤣 oh wait...she knew that that prison world is destroyed forever right????? Someone save me.

20) okay I have to go back before Ethan picked the twins up: while Lizzie is actually worrying about themselves being stranded, Josie is just more concerned about Hope? Hosie! Poor Josie, she never sees that she is Hope soft spot and can totally make Hope happy too. Look at your dumb joke at 103, Hope’s laugh is magnificent too. It’s because of you. And yes I’m with Josie, I just ship Hope with herself and her axe right now, don’t put her with anyone for at least 5 more episode please.

21) The one that doesn’t dissolve into goo! Now is Clarke! And the both of you my dear twins. Btw, the dna thing, where Clarke confirms that dna is still toxic... so it applies to Landon too right? And it’s now just more overwhelmingly apparent that handon sex is without protection. Yea so much for epic love. And this is about the possibility where (hopefully) it’s not MaliLandon when the sex scene happened.

22) Finsie time! I got to say, it’s really improving. Their scene is beautiful, finally. That feeling that they’re nice together is now going on continuous for me. I’m happy for them! They are now stepping up on Hosie, not derogatory, I’m just seeing some parallels from hosie here. The disclose of Ethan broken arm, where Hosie has done, before that there’s Clarke’s traumatising Josie thing with Hosie. Next, the focus on the hand holding, I’m thinking of 207 and others. The “me being here with you”, with hosie 308 “then I’ll be here with you”. The whole thing is very comforting for Josie. The hug is good too. We can see that they finally have some nice scene and the bgm is good for them.

23) I have no idea what is magical agronomy, so I look it up. Again, that shows how Josie love plants, like someone in Reddit said they observed that Josie’s side of room has several plants. And in 307, the herbs, that she remembers. I think it can help a lot if Hope is starting a magical technology company. Josie’s interest in that can come in handy. They’ll make a great team. About TRIMINI INDUSTRIES tap here.

24) we are still missing Jed here. Justice for Jed. We need Jed real first name. Did anyone notice when the super squad faces MaliLandon there’s no werewolf present? They’re really downplaying that huh? But maybe I can be satisfied that they are not making Finch being there but not Jed.

25) We need to address this thing about Handon. It’s like one and a half time that Hope couldn’t recognise that Landon is not Landon right? We still have to give credits to her memories shared with Cleo actually make Cleo kind of recognise the difference? So half a time. I agree with Josie’s words that Landon makes Hope happy. I mean, yes, most of the time they failed in working but there’s still sweet scenes between them. So that’s actually what makes Handon tolerable. They are what makes me only do facepalm rather than skipping them. So yes of course Hope has happy moments with Landon. Just that it doesn’t mean that they’re good together.

26) it’s always Landon’s bros that first find out Landon wasn’t Landon😂 this time is Clarke. It’s Clarke that tell Hope, “Landon will never leave you”. That’s the inconsistency of the writers, not counting MaliLandon’s time, it’s still two times. And there’s time that some will argue that Landon’s feet literally walk away from Hope. So...that’s not true, do not stuff that in our throat anymore. “I always thought you two are destined to be together” is this the writer way of saying they’re not doing Handon anymore or otherwise? Cuz “thought” is past tense and “are” is present tense. I’m tired. It’s normal that Hope still wants Landon to be happy and still love him. But after the breakup, when she still doesn’t know that it’s MaliLandon, the “still dying to get Landon again” is obsession. Girl, it’s derogatory to your self-esteem. “If a mud man like me can beat his fate, maybe you kids can too” yea that’s Handon going on.

27) we shouldn’t need to be told that Handon is epic love multiple times. We should be able to feel them, see them ourselves. Why did I start approving Finsie now, because instead of them being only all talking and no showing, now we see them working well (until now). I have been widely accepting to any other legacies ships and why I never ship Handon? So really these multiple telling us that how good is Landon to Hope, is not working. I’ve never been so frustrated.

28) Let’s appreciate the Handon parallel with 101. It’s interesting that how Landon is inside the cage and Hope is outside the cage again. The meaning of the cage has deep meaning here. Handon first kiss is in the cage, that kind of mean that their love is trapped there. Like how their relationship being so troublesome and bound by these fateful encounters. The lights are quite similar, handon always has this blue lighting for them, which sometimes it’s kind of weird. The first time it is Hope decorating the ceiling with stars for Landon. It’s sweet, but also implying that what Handon has is the false beauty of them and not keeping the cage symbolism in mind. In other way of interpreting it, this is the writer foreshadowing their endgame. Cuz they’re trapped there, no way in no way out.

29) I think I’m not the only one bothered by the mostly lack of real Landon appearance in s3. As we can see how MaliLandon words sits so right about, Landon not belonging to SBS if it weren’t Hope. Then he leaves with Cleo, that’s a thing for Sowanby too, they still don’t have roots with the school, and it’s a great bonding between them, friendship or not. It’s the bond between them that matter. In 314 315, we always see that the students were totally fine without Landon. Like the three trios paralleling? It’s sad that Landon is like bouncing here and there in SBS but never really belong. And now the writers kind of ripped his personal development. So now he has neither his pheonix powers nor fighting skills, great? And even Hope’s growth too. We are seeing her moving to a good direction and the writers have to drag her back in the hell hole. Hope needs to not always looking at Landon for her happiness, it’s not good for the both of them. Like MG said, be your own person.

30) THEORIES regarding Landon: a) It’s MaliLandon all the way? I hope not, it’s reminding me of Lost Girl that one of the characters slept with the father personating the person she loves, and got pregnant. Tell you what was more alarming? When the episode ended, I was recommended to move on to Lost Girl on CW seed. It’s disgusting! Why do you want to help make me hate Handon? I don’t even hate them initially! I’m like struggling to be logical and lean on the positive side here. Why I can’t move on from this possibility: first, I’ve always headcannon that Malivore has partial control over Landon. Like how Landon actually wasn’t lying in 102 103? That’s Malivore. And Handon, as genius as always, doesn’t talk about it. Second, the way that Landon dissolved, he was human back then, but he turns into goo? how does it even work? If he is human, toxic to dna will make him die, not become goo, right? Even if that wasn’t a problem, it can also be MaliLandon trying his luck. Third, Malivore purpose is to make the perfect legacy, he will totally give it a try to make tribrid-Malivore babies. Fourth, during the inspiration from Cleo, MaliLandon has Landon’s memories, enhancing the theories that Malivore has partial control over Landon, so even if it wasn’t MaliLandon, it’s still partial-MaliLandon. Fifth, after the inspiration, MaliLandon said that he doesn’t need Hope to tackle his problem or for his purposes, which means he initially wanted Hope, thinking getting to Hope can help with his purposes. It’s really not a far-fetched.

31) THEORIES regarding Landon: b) it’s real Landon during sex, but Malivore got him in the prison world. While having Landon’s personal growth ripped and Handon still dragging out are not pleasant at all, this is still a more pleasant theory for me. At least Landon did start fighting for himself after sometime, and while the sex is still partial-MaliLandon, at least it’s not MaliLandon. (I’m always using at least for Handon 🙃) maybe we can still have Landon fighting skills? Cuz I was happy for him about this though. But I just don’t think so. The evidence for this theory is, my feeling about Landon in 306 is that it kind of fits Landon personality, but he did start his violence there. Another thing is the letter. There’s care in “to whom it may concern”. However, that can be just me being simp. And there’s also possibilities that the partial control from Malivore is cultivating Landon’s behaviour starting there and slowly taking control. Because making a deal with the devil always has its consequences. It’s either that or Landon was taken after the letter.

32) regarding the picture above, i just want to point out about another interesting point about the structure of the scene, if you scroll back and see sowanby picture with the door and another bonding talk, you can se that there’s always pillar and frames that’s framing or trapping them together. Like Handon. I mean that’s totally MaliLandon, so this pointing out is not mean to be romantic. It’s just a thought about how devastating that Cleo is stuck in something her whole life, especially the picture structure that implies that she’s stuck with MaliLandon again.

33) overall I’m thinking this is a good and disgusting episode. With all the unexpected twist, it’s really good, there’s actually layers in showing us that Landon is not Landon every time. Then those bonding. The soundtrack, the scenes. Disgusting, is about the theory, and how we are all tangled back to Handon again after we finally have some fresh air. Not to mention the always surprisingly convenient that Landon always has an excuse when we see Landon did something bad to Hope. Like he can never be making big mistake while only having little questionable doings that can’t possible tarnish him being the perfect person in the show. The first time he lies, Malivore controlled him. During the pageant competition, he is justified to walk away when he totally chose the wrong timing to ask that question, leaving Hope alone breaking in front of such important event. 207, monsters are coming for him, he’s protecting people by leaving. Musical episode, he needs to cross boundaries because it’s bound to be, without further reasoning it with Hope, when Hope specifically was very respectful of him in 111 about his songs. And now, this. That’s not him, we can’t blame him. He will never be blame for something big because the writers is biased. Very biased in making that Landon is better than anyone else in the show, so he’s the perfect guy for Hope. Like no one can compare with him. He’s almost perfect. Perfect than Hope.

34) Reflect on what Hope did in 308, MG is kind of right, she shouldn’t have touched it without fully prepared. Because it totally let Malivore running out free instead of him being an originally contained problem. It’s for the good view in whole. Heroes make hard decisions. There’s still the hair thing cut from Hope and Golem!Landon.

These pictures is my work, while it’s easy to get it yourself, and not that I’m professional in doing this. But I still did screenshot them one by one and did some editing. So please like or label the sources when you save or use it. ♥️

81 notes · View notes

good-rwbyaus · 3 years

Note

Salem gave up on her plans of conquest because she got addicted to playing Fortnight. Being immortal, she can play it without stopping. Her greatest online rival is unknowingly Ironwood, aka MetalDong69.

// Cause even an obsessive omnicidal immortal needs hobbies.- lilac

Title: MetalDong69

—–

1. Emergency Meeting

“The Grimm have been oddly quiet,” Ozpin frowned into the camera, staring at the faces of those he trusted the most.

Glynda. Qrow. Leonardo. James. Theodore.

“Vale’s extension into Mountain Glenn had been met with zero resistance,” he continued, “given this anomaly, I’m concerned that the Queen must be planning something. Something big.”

“Have any of you noticed anything strange?”

Numerous shakes of the head and comments came from the participants of the call.

All except one.

James seemed oddly distracted, his face schooled in perfect attention, but his eyes would occasionally dart on the screen. He could faintly hear the repetitive clicking of his keyboard and sliding of his mouse.

Was he working on something?

“James, are you okay? You’ve been awfully quiet.”

———————————-

Loud keyboard clicking can be heard in the background.

With a small amount of guilt, James Ironwood pressed his microphone to speak into the trans-continental Zoom call.

“Um, yes. Everything’s…fine.”

———————————–

Elsewhere:

[MetalDong69 has eliminated you!]

[You have placed #2!]

[KillAllHumans]: Who the hell camps in a barn with a shotgun?!

MetalDong69′s avatar starts crouching up and down on her corpse.

[KillAllHumans]: You dare corpsehump me?! Just you wait you pre-centurian piece of shit.

[KillAllHumans]: I’ll put all my energy into destroying you and everything you love!

Bang bang bang bang.

[KillAllHumans]: Stop shooting my dead body you asshole!

============================

2. One Month Earlier

FortKnight had been released onto the CCT for a week now, the first MMO that joined all the continents together. The gaming company that developed it had close ties with Atlas due to the involvement of the CCT, so when they noticed something really strange, they reported it to Atlas - and in turn eventually reached the top.

The top that also happened to be their top beta player, Ironwood.

“So wait, you’re telling me there’s an account accessing from an untrackable location AND has been playing 24/7 non-stop without any breaks whatsoever?” Ironwood said, his eyes bugging out.

No way.

“Can you bring up their profile?”

Several lines of profile information immediately popped up on Ironwood’s scroll.

“So she put her name in as Salem,” the company representative said, “She isn’t too great at the game, and we’re actually planning on banning her because of her extreme flaming and death threats to other pla-” said the company IT person.

“No no no. Just keep her in. In fact, keep her account access unrestricted,” Ironwood continued, “If this is who I think it is, you might’ve done Atlas, no the whole of Remnant, a great service.”

——————————————————-

[MetalDong69 has eliminated you!]

[You have placed #22]

[KillAllHumans]: You fucking hacker! You can’t get the sniper scythe that early!

[KillAllHumans]: You must’ve cheated! I’m reportin-

[KillAllHumans]: Stop shooting me! Those are sniper bullets! You barely get fifteen of them in a round, and you’re emptying the magazine on my corpse!

[KillAllHumans]: Fuck you! Fuck your mother! Fuck your dog! Fu-

——————————————————–

A couple days later….

“There’s no need to ban this person, “ Ironwood said, “In fact, I’ll fund your company so long as you develop more games dedicated to capturing the attention of this one player. ”

“Uhh, why is this player so important, sir?”

“That’s a military secret. Just know you will be rewarded for doing so.”

================================

3. Teamwork

Somewhere in the Land of Darkness:

“Cinder, Tyrian , join me. Together we will crush MetalDong69,” Salem ran out of the grand hall as she clenched her fist angrily.

“Yes ma’am,” Cinder said obediently, “Who dares to oppose your might?”

“We’re going to destroy him,” Tyrian said excitedly before following Salem going back inside the hall, “Wait why you’re heading back inside?”

——————————————————

[KillAllHumans]: oh my god why are all of you feeding?!

[StabbingYourMom]: WHY IS THIS METALDONG69 SITTING ON MY HEAD? IF I HAD MY TAIL RIGHT NOW

[KillAllHumans]: SHOOT HIM SHOOT HIM

[ImOnFire]: I’m trying!

[KillAllHumans]: NO THAT’S A GRENA-

[ImOnFire has eliminated you.] [ You have placed #13 ]

[ImOnFire has eliminated herself ] [You have placed #12 ]

[ImOnFire]: WHY IS HE CROUCHING UP AND DOWN ON MY FACE.

[KillAllHumans]: I’m surrounded by feeders!

============================

∞:

Ironwood slowly walked into the elevator, his hair with bits of white now. Penny, his daughter, and Ruby, her wife, followed behind him curiously.

“So what’s this secret you’re going to show us?” Penny asked.

“Yeah, what sort of secret needs a pair of pro-gamers?” Ruby grinned, an ex-Huntress-now-Gamer now that the Grimm threat had regressed. “And requires us to keep it from Mr. Ozpin?”

“It’s nothing bad,” Ironwood comforted her as he placed his keycard into the elevator, the motion triggering, ”It’s just that I think Ozpin’s finally enjoying life now and shouldn’t be bothered by something like this.”

“But it’s still important. Because behind these doors is the reason why humanity’s had over a decade of peace.”

——

A bunch of men and women are at a bunch of computer stations, clearly working and designing video games. A large screen showing match-ups for a large game design timeline.

Current: FortKnight 3

In Development: FortKnight 10, GrimmCraft, World of Remnant

“It’s here where all the magic happens. These are the men and women who have kept Salem at bay for more than a decade,” Ironwood proudly said.

The pair could only look at the man in confusion.

“You’ll see soon,” Ironwood said as he sat down onto a computer station clearly designated at his. He turned his head to one of his trusted men, “Clover, is she on?”

“Isn’t she always?” Clover laughed, “She’s about to get out of a game. Won it actually. I’ll put you in her matchmaking group right now.”

“Good,” Ironwood said with satisfaction.

——–

[KillAllHumans]: IT’S YOU. METALDONG69. YOU CAN’T KEEP BEATING ME FOREVER.

[KillAllHumans]: You’ll die someday, you fucker, and then I’ll be the number 1 in FortKnight!

———

Ironwood turned down his speakers a bit.

“That is Salem, the Queen of all Grimm and the number one negatively-reported player in all of Remnant. She is why I’ve brought you two in,” he said solemnly, “One day, I’ll pass on, and Salem will become the number one in this game and lose interest based on our analysis. When she does, the world might end up going back to the way it was. It’s up to you two to stop that from happening.”

“You will be Remnant’s silent protectors. Two pro-gamers joining forces to stop this threat. Just an hour or two of your time every day. And you’ll allow Remnant to continue having peace. ”

“Now if you’ll excuse me, the game’s starting.”

———–

[MetalDong69 has killed you.]

[You have placed 100 / 100. ]

[KillAllHumans]: METALDONG69!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#rwby au #james ironwood #rndmbookhrdr #rwby salem #penny polendina #ruby rose #professor ozpin #rwby fic #crack au #rwby #mod lilac #nuts n dolts #i just wanted to write something nuts n dolts without either of them dying okay?

108 notes · View notes

infinitelytheheartexpands · 3 years

Text

Responses from the Opera Screencaps Captioning Quiz

Hello, everyone, and thank you for taking my quiz! I had SO MUCH fun reading your captions-- there were several times I literally started crying from laughing so hard at the amazingness of your work! With that in mind, the captions (which I will continue to add onto as more people take it):

(also, thank you to @dichterfuerstin for translating the German captions I got)

originally taken from: the Wiener Staatsoper’s 2020 production of Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart’s Die Entführung aus dem Serail, featuring Regula Mühlemann (center) as Blonde, Michael Laurenz (right) as Pedrillo, and an unnamed extra (left) as the Grim Reaper

Responses:

(Backstage warm-up) “ok so someone dropped the pulse”

me and my friends watching the fire burn after doing arson

Introducing the polycule to the parents

*boom* ... did...you guys hear that too?

Ma Signor !

Knight in whinging armour gone wrong, look at how he holds the egg. Polyamory with weird knight and death.

the father, son and the holy ghost are very gay

the gays meeting for brunch, 2021, colorized

chicken lady forces death and a very flamboyantly homosexual anthropomorphized pink bird to be parents of her egg (they dont want to be)

That’s just me and my friends on our night out (before covid rip)-- closest

A Good Friday night

good omens (2019)

["the pocket guide to boy/girl/mischief" meme] who's the boy and who's the mischief though????

Papageno and Papagena take their first-born egg trick-or-treating

Angry Birds - The Musical. A pig stole an egg and the bird unites with death to take revenge.

I love my bird wife

Someone got murdered during the funky chicken dance

throuple murders child and steals sibling of said child

When you and your friends have widely different tastes in literature

angel leading twink to his rightful place (hell)

draco malfoy from a very potter musical and a death eater are very much in the wrong show

What have I gotten myself into

Mlm/wlw solidarity but I’m not telling who is who

A woman stands with a pink dipshit with an egg and a reaper.

A bird-couple makes a pact with Death, sacrificing their first-born bird-child in order to bring good luck upon their unborn bird-baby

There are three types of people on Halloween:

Uh oh, I don’t think the mother hen is very happy about this...

oh god, they’ve invented seussical. It’s too early!

gay brunch

Three little maids from school are we

guys maybe if we dress gay enough we can distract everyone from the dead flapper bee in the back

those three killed a duck for her egg and are facing the conswquences.

Duck has egg with human, shocked and upset due to biological impossibility

When you bout to make a banging omelet so you invite your fellow queers

"No mortal man could pass that egg, but heaven shall repair your rectum."

originally taken from: the Salzburg Festival’s 2007 production of Hector Berlioz’s Benvenuto Cellini, featuring Maija Kovalevska (left) as Teresa Balducci, Laurent Naouri (center, in chimney) as Fieramosca, and Burkhard Fritz (right) as Benvenuto Cellini

Responses:

“In this same interlude it doth befall That I, one Snout by name, present a wall; And such a wall, as I would have you think, That had in it a crannied hole or chink, Through which the lovers, Pyramus and Thisby, Did whisper often very secretly. This loam, this rough-cast and this stone doth show That I am that same wall; the truth is so: And this the cranny is, right and sinister, Through which the fearful lovers are to whisper.” - a midsummer night’s dream, act v scene 1

"ah yes a prime specimen. see here, right in this box is our one of a kind hob goblin that can be all yours for the low low price of your soul"

what, YOU don't have a special eavesdropping chimney window?

Hänsel und Gretel plotting against the witch

man takes a wrong turn and ends up in a chimney, catches his girlfriend cheating-- closest

when you end up third wheeling the straight couple

lady cheats on her leather jacket wearing scummy boyfriend and when he unexpectedly comes home she hides the lover in the chimney

A straight girl and her gay best friend gossip about stuff idk

Idk Shakespeare?

experimental couples therapy feat. the chimney mf from mary poppins

Area Couple Inadvertently Traps Santa-in-Training in Chimney as they Attempt Rooftop Flirting

Landlords laugh over student renter's misfortune

I never asked for this

Ay yo lil mama lemme whisper in your ear

voyeurist listens to sandy and Danny from grease

Psssst! Did you hear about Susan? You won’t believe it!

lady and the tramp meets beauty and the beast?

human trafficking

And for just $30 you too could have your own tiny brick cage!

Psst I’m wearing assless chaps under this dress

A couple tortures a man in a box.

It's all fun and games being stuck in a chimney until your greasy uncle steals your crush from right above you-- okay ngl this could actually be a great Don Pasquale concept

Taking eavesdropping to the next level

Will you two stop being lovey dovey and let me out? SUMMER LOVIN, HAPPENED SO FAST—

overhearing how people talk about you when they think they're alone puts you in the shithouse

Does he know we can see him?

dear god, i am so fucking hungry, yall please just do whatever heterosexuals do so i can go eat a popsicle

the human version of the trash man from sesame street is realizing that those two are going to fuck on his trash can

Tmw you capture an angry short dude and start trashtalking him where he can hear

Omg what if we kissed but we actually kissed the lil goblin man under us

"Remember, don't feed him after midnight"

originally taken from: the Théâtre de Capitole du Toulouse’s 2017 staging of Giacomo Meyerbeer’s Le prophète, featuring Leonardo Estevez (right, on fake horse) as Le Comte d’Oberthal

Responses:

“When I said we needed to drain the swamp I didn’t think there were people actually living there”

horse? what horse? no sir i dont know what horse youre referring to.

definitely don't have a napoleon complex going on

King stole La Scala‘s Lohengrin set

king breaks all his horses, has to use statue dragged by servants as transportation because he’s too kingly too walk

Emperor Söder and his subjects on a carnival procession

man on horse makes a big deal out of being on a horse

That’s not Zeffirelli because the horse is not alive

Who the fuck put a horse on the stage

isn't this that picture of napoleon on the horse

Area Count Thinks Citizens will be Intimidated by his Extremely Fake-looking Horse Statue-- closest

Everyone wants their turn on the giant plaster horse. Police are there to make sure everyone waits their turn.

Night out with the lads

Local royalty horrified at the state of his own damn kingdom

gay army fights different gay aesthetics-- hi author how does it feel to be the funniest fucking person on this quiz

Well at least I LOOK badass

ceasar if he hadn't gotten stabbed (colourised)

some soldiers jumped out of my kindergarten fairytale collection book to burn the don carlos flemish deputies at the stake

It’s just a model

Is that how you feel pulling up in your Honda Civic, Madge?

Someone rides a horse statue in public.

Just a normal party with the bros.

what is this, some kind of crossover episode?

Terribly sorry for all the fuss, it’s just, that is, my horse is afraid of neck ruffles. I’ve tried to talk to him about it, but he’s—whoaaa there—he said he was a french courtier in a past life and he’s allergic to English fashion

Horse seller, listen to me! I am riding into battle. I need your strongest horse. - We have horses at home. - The horses at home:

All hail Incitatus the king

we are not ripping off shakespeare’s henry viii. what the fuck. this is about lenny xi you uncultured swine, go drown in a pit of your own farts

oh god is that hamilton

Guy Removed From Art Museum For Sitting On Statue, more at eleven

Gay <3

Officer: This horse... is a virgin! Crowd: *cheers*

originally taken from: the Parma Verdi Festival’s 2017 staging of Giuseppe Verdi’s Stiffelio, featuring Maria Katzarava (left) as Lina and Luciano Ganci (right) as Stiffelio

Responses:

That One kid in class

its a mEntAL BreAkDowN *final countdown but kazoo*

*record scratch* yeah, that's me. you're probably wondering how I got here-- closest

Dad keeps monologuing, teenager is done

left: all of my concerned friends, right: my emo ass having a very public mental breakdown

the demons in the corner of my room when im just trying to sleep

lady gets mansplained to (do i need to say more, we've all been there)

It’s probably an area baritone telling off an area soprano-- sorry; it’s a tenor. soprano is right though.

That was a fake horse in the last photo right?

child comes out as gay to father at a particularly bad time

dissociation solves everything

I can't believe it's not butter

Honey we talked about this

My sleep paralysis demon is Crowley from supernatural

child has nightmare of boring job

When you start dating a singer but he won’t stop practicing at night

just an average day in a hetero marriage

what do i do my wife's having period cramps again

Stop having an existential crisis. It’s time to sing!

“No son of mine will kin Gomez Addams under MY roof”

Crowley stares into space while a teen has post nut clarity.

When he wont stop reciting jordan peterson monologues!!

Do you realize how effed you are?

Ugh, not this lecture again! Dad’s Practicing For His Experimental Indie Band Again

asking your parents for help with your own personal situation and them just ranting off about what they went through instead of helping in any way

Will he shut up already!

no one tell him he’s yelling in the wrong direction, no one tell him plnsbdjddhdj

this kid is tired of his dad listening to rush limbaugh (a man who claimed to be pro life but died anyway)

Me internally vs externally

Daddy issues

originally taken from: the Grand Théâtre de Genève’s 2020 staging of Giacomo Meyerbeer’s Les Huguenots, featuring several chorus members

Responses:

It’s the deadly eye Of Poogley-pie. Look away, look away, As you walk by, ‘Cause whoever looks right at it Surely will die. It’s a good thing you didn’t … You did? … Good-bye. - shel Silverstein

why the fuckith? my good sir, i beg of you to put your pants back on

I hate this itchy hat

Titanic Extras hear that they have to do extra hours

people waiting to board the titanic watch someone fall off the plank

pov: you’re a time traveler

guy in the flatcap is embarrassed by patriotism and pathos

No idea. For some reason Le Marseillaise comes to mind

Is this from Harry Potter?

disneyland main street usa workers on strike

local tries to hide behind Newsies cap to avoid unpleasant but inevitable conversations. meanwhile, some very fashionable ladies look on.

"Thank fuck, 2020 was just a dream after all"

“We gather here today because this bitch got exactly what she deserved” “heaven!” “Stfu Stephanie she’s going to hell and we all know it”-- not quite but this basically happens later on in the opera (and act) so yeah (except the person in question very much Did Not Deserve It)

dc movie filter on bridgerton

america?

looks like my history teacher paused the prohibition documentary again

Who still wears page boy hats bro?

Coming out to a room of people who Already Knew That

Bitches are relieved at some party.

Several drunk people exiting getting off the subway attempting to seem sober and rational but realizing they have somehow lost all of their possessions

How tf do I act natural in this situation-- closest

“do you think any of them noticed that I don’t know the pledge of allegiance”

It's too fucking hot outside for this outfit

when hyyh yoonkook ending just hits different

pedestrians watch in horror as the triangle shirtwaist factory burns and the workers throw themselves out of the windows from a dozen stories up

Starting the pledge of allegiance be like

He's having a heart attack oh no oh god oh fuck

originally taken from: if I remember correctly, the Semperoper Dresden’s 2018 semi-staging of Johann Strauss II’s Die Fledermaus, with Jonas Kaufmann as Gabriel von Eisenstein

Responses:

“William Shakespeare wrote: "To thine own self be true And it must follow, as the night the day Thou canst not then be false to any man" I believe this wise statement best applies to a woman A blonde woman Over the past three years she taught me And showed us all That being true to yourself never goes out of style Ladies and gentlemen Our valedictorian: Elle Woods!” - legally blonde the musical

eat ass, suck a dick, and sell drugs

woooooorrrrd

Finally Jonas has graduated! It’s about time, considering he’s an international star.

what my professors think they look like

Prof. Dr. Dr. When someone tells him there are more than two genders

'and since you've now graduated high school, you'll be entering college etc. blablabla' .........meanwhile, there's a whole row of graduates daring each other to chug the cheap vodka one of them has brought in gallons (yes that happened at my graduation, lol)

Jonas darling baby <3-- can’t argue with that

I just realized I have no idea what the actual fuck happens in an opera

ok this one is just what jonas kaufmann always wears you can't fool me.

"as valedictorian i will share with you the importance of loving the floor"

"Yes, mother, my art degree will make me money!"

Graduation speakers are out, singers are in

Senior year takes a new meaninbg

mansplainer professor explains the concept of feminism to women

Your Prof when you finally turn in that missing assignment be like

younger boris johnson (derogatory)

jonas kaufmann retires from opera and takes up motivational speaking

What a fine graduation evening we’re having today

-70 points for slytherin you all have no swag

A man with a college hat sings.

An obviously greying actor trying to play a university student in a low-budget porn parody

How it feels to graduate high school after being held back for years

East High is a place where teachers encouraged us to break the status quo and define ourselves as we choose. Where a jock can cook up a mean crème brûlée, and a brainiac can break it down on the dance floor-

I may not have been "cool" in high school, but in ten years you will all be working for me!

I finally got my GED!

that one guy in ur intro to cultural anthropology class who mansplains to the professor somehow fucking graduated

he;s just graduating and taking his speech too serously idk

Graduation speeches with that one dude who got held back 3 times

Smrt

originally taken from: the Metropolitan Opera’s 2011 staging of Gioachino Rossini’s Le Comte Ory with Joyce DiDonato (left) as Isolier, Diana Damrau (center) as Countess Adèle, and Juan Diego Florez (right) as Le Comte Ory (disguised as a hermit)

Responses:

There is something very [disturbing grunts] About polyamorous couples - polyamorous, Chris Fleming

jinkies

femme fatale (including to herself)

I’ll have a threesome soon !

Hot guy walks by, everyone swoons.

thirdwheeling friend does not realize the other two are having sex

When your girlfriend had „just two beers“ again

jesus is exasperated about having to drag the two ladies towards doing what he needs them to do instead of purple dramatically declaring suicidal intent over the smallest trivial matters and red being equally dramatic about declaring that it's not the way! stay alive! i love you!!

The throuple is thriving

Get off the milf

orgy

my last three braincells because im a horny slut

countess receives too much love and is confused on how to react

Rasputin's lesser known romp with a much older czarina of russia

Woman's soul leaves body

Jesus and co. are worried after another woman gets pregnant without having sex

bisexual looks at photos of celebrity couples

When you go to the party to socialize with new people but your weirdo friend group starts getting clingy

Jesus cumming

one of those weird church christmas pageants but everybody's drunk

What have I done

Hozier??????????

Jesus assfucks some purple lady being hugged.

This time, the chick IS the magnet

An affair/threesome gone awry (2019 colorized)

What do you mean they canceled GLOW?

“I TOLD you it was cashmere!”

Are you wearing the - - The Gucci dress? Yes I am.

It's not what it looks like!

jesus is fucking that one cheerleader who grew up to be a suburban mom with one (1) super cool dress she stole from her kid who is desperately hugging her middle begging for it back because the spring fling is coming up and jason might actually make eye contact with her for more than three seconds.

jesus and mary magdaline and some other bitch

I’m at a bar and these drunk girls are flirting with me, do I lOOK GAY?!

Shrek 5, jesus's return

c. 2025 First attempt of an Officer and his Wife with a Handmaiden (colourized)

just about all of these are close lol

originally taken from: the Bolshoi Theater’s 1993 staging of Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky’s The Maid of Orléans, featuring Nina Rautio (left) as Joan of Arc and Vyacheslav Pochapsky (right) as Thibaut d’Arc

Responses:

Don’t look, I’m still pooping

yall, the audacity of this man. he fuckin talked to me

*i can't even tell you how wrong you are* *it would be insulting to ME*-- closest

Cospeto!

„No I’m not talking to you, you keep cracking bad jokes!“ - „But I got another!“

when you’re mad at him but he says he’ll buy you food if you cheer up

When I’m wallowing in self-pity but my friends won’t comfort me

right: wanna fuck ;) left: yeah, fuck OFF lmao

Her face is screaming “don’t tell me what to do”

Yeah I got nothing

gay man tries to hit on a lesbian bc he thinks she's a twink. she's not amused but she's watching this happen anyway

me tired of MET's bullshit and them organising a Netrebko, known blackface apologist, a recital during Black History Month. (sorry im still fucking salty lol)

"stop smiling at me like that I'm trying to pout over here"

"I got fleas, you got fleas... wanna fuck?"

I have the best idea!

Haha nooooo don’t hit me with that bat you’re so sexxyy

lesbian is bothered by dilf

Me trying to flirt

if call me by your name was hetero and set in america

how many more dad jokes can i take before i explode

So. You’ve gotten yourself in a little pickle again.

What if we fought in the Russian revolution together ✨???????... unless??

Two people flirt in a poor place of town/

"If you ask me what I've got under this dirty, shapeless tunic one more time I swear to god I will kick your rotting teeth in"

You look like ur gonna kill me but ok

Really? You again?

Okay, I’ve been sitting here for 20 minutes, do you think it’s safe to—oh god, he’s still there.

Have you seen Godot?

she is tired of everyone’s shit. she has done so many derivatives it physically pains her to see a variable. dont test her. ur icarus rn.

idk pick better pictures-- I HAVE DIED THE SHEER AUDACITY AND HUBRIS I LOVE THIS

200% done with your crap

Homeless man has fucking legs of steel n is gonna show off his Russian dance moves

originally taken from: the Théâtre de Capitole du Toulouse’s 2019 staging of Paul Dukas’ Ariane et Barbe-bleue, featuring Sophie Koch (right) as Ariane and I don’t remember who the person on the left is rip me

Responses:

The knight who wore this into battle sure was swaggy

dear god its hiddeous

Capitalism

Knight in shining armour gone even more wrong.

ghost contemplates the safety of spiky motorcycle helmet

„Stop! He feels bullied!“

'this is my newest take for jesus's crucifixion crown ...... what do you mean they already put him up'

That’s probably a really expensive magic helmet idk. IDK-- closest

Omg I love the adventure zone!

minesweeper (windows xp)

"Okay whatever you do don't touch the shiny spiky ball" "It's so shiny I wanna touch it"

Taking down the trash way too late

IT'S NOT A PHASE MOM

Darth Vader got stuck in the freezer.... again. Leia isn’t happy

Star Wars 2030

“And here is the very latest in motorcycle helmet trends” “Look, I only came to the mall for a pair of socks “

futuristic kkk

long-suffering jewelry store attendant really wants to retire

Put it down put it down put it down

“Hmm no you should see a doctor about that”

A weird ass crown is presented

The creation of sars-cov-2: an experimental Eurotrance nightclub art piece gone horribly wrong

How it feels to want something that u cant have

AND WE WILL CALL IT—SPIKE MAN actually do you think that’s too obvious?? Because of the—yeah, because of the spikes?? See, that’s what I’m worried about. I want it to be SCARY

I know it's risky but... lube me up

use the force luke.

that is a weird fleshlight

When you get an ugly gift and need to find a way to get rid of it, so your family member/friend offers to smash it

Touch the orb

originally taken from: the Opera Vlaanderen’s 2019 staging of Fromental Halévy’s La Juive, with Nicole Chevalier (left, with bottle) as Princess Eudoxie, Enea Scala (center, under table) as Prince Léopold, and Roy Cornelius Smith (right) as Éléazar

Responses:

When no one comes to your birthday party :(

fantastic, day 487 of mischief and they have yet to find my masterful hiding spot

i really wonder who he thinks he's playing footsie with

Marriage crisis. Reason sits under the table-- closest but not in the way you think (after all, the man under the table IS a tenor).

the last supper afterparty after jesus left

When you order the last supper on wish

espionage at the Politischer Rosenmontag

Probably the wrong opera but is that Leporello under the table

Now THIS is a Good Friday night

this was every birthday party i went to between the ages of 5 and 11

that awkward moment when you drop your fork under the table but when you re-emerge everyone else has left except one drunk lady and the guy trying to deal with her

After the last supper

Tfw you arrive to the dinner party too early and have to hide until a more fashionable hour

When the cishets aren’t home

waiter hides from customers

Nobody: My dog every time I’m eating:

what's left of the homies Jesus had dinner with

university chem lab experiment gone terribly wrong

I’ve been under the table FOR 30 MINUTES

Set your friends up by tossing them off under the table, they’ll think it’s each other n fall in luv

Someone hids under a table

"You're about to see an surreptitious-under-the-table-dick-sucking master at work"

5 yr old me trying to eat the desert under the table without my parents finding out be like:

They never invite me to their parties!

Just another girl’s night in

Oops! Didn’t notice you the table.

dionysus - bts (2019, colorized)

just a normal episode of eric andre (eric is the one under the table)

Just a normal day with the boys

Thievery

originally taken from: the Théâtre de Capitole du Toulouse’s 2017 staging of Giacomo Meyerbeer’s Le prophète, featuring Kate Aldrich (left, surrounded by women in white) as Fidès and John Osborn (center, looking like a Jesus doppelganger) as Jean de Leyde

Responses:

Hold up, is that Eggman above Jesus?

holy disco

Looks like Tannhäuser. Our lord and saviour Richard Wagner. Now I need to be saved from that.

catholicism

me defending pineapple on pizza (THANK YOU)

jesus but hes about to be abducted by the alien ufo above him

Emmmmmmm Heaven? Idk

Lord of the rings?

ewww christianity gross

"behold, I am Important"

"Seriously?? It's not ACTUALLY pyjama day? Fuck you guys!"

Jesus at the Disco

Jesus Finds The Molerat People Who Live Under Bethlehem

disco is heaven

Want to join my new religion?

the kkk

church christmas pageant where everyone's sober but it's based on the director's fever dream

Am I the only one who sees the giant demon? Just me? Okay...

“Oh god I think I’m starting my period”

A party is held with a priest in the middle

"Let's get this secret Vatican sex party rolling!"

The new avengers endgame set is looking great!!

You know, guys, I try not to be a bother but...I can’t help but feel like I missed a dress code memo for this wedding??? It’s cocktail, right??”

Jesus visits Hogwarts

I must really stink if no one will even come close to me

the extra ass funeral i DESERVE

star wars life day

A cult at it’s best-- closest

Shrek 5, Jesus is still there I guess

originally taken from: the Royal Opera House, Covent Garden’s 2013 staging of Giuseppe Verdi’s Les vêpres siciliennes, featuring Bryan Hymel (left, standing) as Henri, Lianna Haroutounian (center, kneeling in the black gown) as Duchess Hélène, and Erwin Schrott (kneeling to her right) as Jean Procida

Responses:

When the director’s like “great rehearsal guys, just a few notes before I let you go” but it’s already 9:13 and your mom’s waiting in the parking lot

loyalist of subjects

bow before your queen

They forgot to take down the stage boxes after the Vienna opera ball but the show must go on.

somebody forgot to book chairs for this funeral

Me sharing God’s (Hayley koyoko) word on the discord server

mass execution bc the oboe solo sucked ass-- closest

That’s too many black suits I can’t see shit

I can’t even tell what’s going on here

8th grade school assembly about how it's uncool to shit on the walls at school

let's all get fancy so we can go to the opera and sit on the stage (idk this one's hard lol)

"Yes i am a time traveller, now don't freak out"

Tfw you forget to pay your lighting bills

White guys make decisions that will benefit them and screw someone that’s not a white guy over-- OUCH but that is too real (although not really in context here)

dead man gives speech at his own funeral

brotus and the boys ??? last meeting before the stabbing

high society social function ends in mass murder-- right opera, wrong scene

Someone walks into the talent show stage with a dog

Black-dressed bitches worship a man.

Worst school assembly of all time

POV:You're the window in the classroom and someone said "its snowing"

When the conductor shows up fashionably late to the orchestra concert

That's what you get for choosing the cheapest ticket option, get back in the mud where you belong

theyre just trying to jump into a grave at a funeral leabe them alone this is normal

oh my god he really whipped his dick out in front of everyone, this is just like in 1776 guys, except some women are actually in the room this time,

A funeral, stop wearing so much black

I want to slap their bald heads like rice

originally taken from: the Teatro Real Madrid’s 2018 staging of Gaetano Donizetti’s Lucia di Lammermoor, featuring Roberto Tagliavini (right) as Raimondo

Responses:

Crowd “haha!! Looks like someone missed the all-black memo!! Now it’s laugh-in-your-face time! / Guy on the floor (whispering to guy against wall): go, save yourself! I’ll hold them off...”

if i leave now i wont be a witness and can tell the police i had no idea

it was the best of times, it was the worst of times

Guy in the back pretends to help but is to far away to even know what’s going on.

priest walks in on beginning of an orgy, contemplated joining but is too scared-

when someone brings up capitalism but you’re just trying to play minecraft

lol lets trample this guy while the judge isnt looking

Again. Too many black costumes

Loved this Dostoevsky novel

i would know if opera directors were more creative with clothing choices ngl

me on parties lol

"imma just sneak out of here while everyone else is distracted"

"Where did he get this flooring!? Amazing!"

Everyone act normal!

The tell tale heart but they got REALLY drunk

man tposes to ward off vampires after being caught undercover

boys ???? night

the priest really shouldn't have visited the insane asylum-- closest

He’s FINE everyone’s been hit by a car before

Something happens in a room.

Perks of being a wallflower

There's always that one person in the fight whos trying not to get involved when they really wanna

Oh good, they’re all posing for a Rembrandt painting, I can just sneeeeaaak out the back here...

The gamer livestreaming Resident Evil + everyone watching the stream ? waiting for him to open the door just knowing it will trigger a chase scene

Quick!

the guy t posing in the back is regretting his every decision.-- also accurate

the us senate jumps ted cruz, some other wack ass gop senator is trying to sneak away

...I spoke too soon, however this is a James Bond mission

Queers help fellow queer do math but it's a struggle

#opera #opera tag #results #screencaps #captions #caption #caption this #caption contest #this seems to have gone over well and I am Pleased

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raindrop-on-a-spiderweb · 3 years

Note

1 4 5 25

1) Is there a story you’re holding off on writing for some reason?

A lot. I have one in the Wild West/California Gold Rush, one set in the Golden Age of Piracy, that one f/f one I posted an excerpt of a while back, one in 80s Miami, one in Louisiana/New Orleans, a Hatfield/McCoy type story, a ton of one-shot ideas, etc etc etc. I simply can't write them before I finish at least another of my longform stories. The more stories you have to update, the harder it gets to keep track of their plot points, and it spaces out updates so long that readers lose interest. I think it's better to focus on one or two stories to the exclusion of everything else and put all your effort into them.

4) Favorite character you’ve written

Marie Thibodeaux, mon dieu! I also like Patience. She's the most fleshed out, I think. I love Cottonmouth's unpredictability, and it's wonderful to write Blondie's supercilious dialogue.

5) Character you were most surprised to end up writing

Conna and Flora. I have a bad tendency to make one-off characters main characters. I totally intended Conna to be the rando lady Buck was cheating on and somehow she got roped into the secondary plot 😂. Flora was never supposed to appear after her first appearance in chapter 2, but whelp, she ended up being Patience's biggest supporter and best friend/mother stand-in.

25) Copy/paste a few sentences or a short paragraph that you’re particularly proud of.

"She could imagine that knife cleaving through her flesh, sliding through layers of blood and muscle until blood poured from her arms and legs, soaking her like a red gown."

The whole sequence where Patience is waiting for Leonardo's verdict to be announced.

"Damian,” said the man. “Yes, I know.”

"It was loud and high, the tenor of a baby's wail, but it did not drop or gasp like a baby's voice. It did not die out as it took a breath. It was completely flat, a single note like a violin drawn across the strings in one long screech. It was wrong, in only a way a human could notice."

"She felt hate so clearly, layers and layers of hate like skin over muscle over bone, Paula over Flora over Daddy over Mommy, days over nights over years.

She hated."

"Graying, mossy faces lifted to the sky as Rosannah's feet sunk into the soft grass. Rigid statues stood eternal, sun beating down on their stone brows. Stagnant pools rose steam that wafted above the graveyard. Tall, imposing obelisks casting long shadows and heavy white mausoleums covered in stripes of rot. Marble crucifixes half-buried by grass and foliage left to grow wild-- the place had not been visited for a long, long time. And it was as clear as the weeds and months winding themselves around her ankles."

#asks #personal #writing

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dreamaboutwhathappens · 4 years

Text

the man was FILLED with easter eggs and metaphors. here they are!

1. being in the room where it happens

in the lyric video for the man, we see a woman working so hard to try and get to where all the men are -- on top, both physically and metaphorically. in the music video, we see The Man starting out here, just another normal day at the office. another normal day in charge, and on top.

2. “i’d be a fearless leader”

The Man not so much as walks into the room and makes a few comments before getting applause for his work. at the same time, every desk in this office can be seen with a mountain of papers, files, and books stacked on top of them. for all the hard work that these people are doing in this office, The Man gets all the applause for a fraction of it.

3. the subway

now, obviously what we have here is what you have on any and every subway or other form of local transportation -- that one asshole who feels entitled to take up as much space as he wants at the discomfort of everyone around him. while i could get into how mansplaining is a metaphor for men feeling the right to take up more space in society then women, i won’t. instead, i want to focus on all the little details on this subway that tell men they can. at the very, very top of the frame, we see text at the bottom of an ad that says “because you DESERVE what you want” and the posters on either side of The Man tell us “mother nature doesn’t stand a chance” and “capitalize on the feeling”. this is how society treats men. they should get to do whatever they want, based only on their feelings or wants. this notion will become important in the subway station.

shoutout to the girl in the miss americana hoodie! i think we can safely say she’s listening to lover on her headphones.

4. the newspaper

for this image, i turned the brightness WAYYY up so we could read the newspaper. the leading headline is “what man won the year in celebrity dating?” with the caption “who crushed it this year?” one headline says “years most eligible CEO’s” and another says “men in love in sports”. now, i don’t have to tell you that taylor swift was vilified for her relationships. these headlines show the difference between how men and women are treated when it comes to relationships. what’s it like to brag about getting bitches and models?

on the back cover, we see a contrast between how men and women are viewed in society. the ad dedicated towards men has a very strong and tough vibe to it, and the article beneath it carries the title “it’s men against boys with no ladies around.” in fact, the only mention we get of said “ladies” is in the “style section” where we see two sexy, rail thin women posing at fashion shows. while society views men for their strength, women are supposed to be objects of beauty and desire, and nothing more.

5. here lies taylor swift’s reputation (and all her previous albums)

now, obviously, the sign says “missing, if found, please return to taylor swift” and grafitied on the walls are the names of the albums whose masters taylor does not own. remember when those ads on the subway told men that you DESERVE what you want? that’s what empowered The Men who stole taylor’s masters to take them. they wanted them, after all! let’s also remember that The Man is can be seen pissing on the wall in this shot. it’s a metaphor for The Men who own taylor’s old albums and are essentially pissing on all her hard work. we can also see “KARMA” written in big letters in the middle of all the albums, which invokes a lyric from look what you made me do: “all i think about is karma, and then the world moves on but one things for sure, maybe i got mine but you’ll all get yours”. pretty sure karma is coming for The Men who own taylor’s masters.

if you look closely, you can also see a sign to the left of The Man that says no scooters! sc*oter bra*n is not welcome at the 13th street station

6. “i’d be just like leo in st. tropez”

for your viewing pleasure, i have included an image of leo in st. tropez. we can see women in bikinis, and every sort of expensive, luxurious form of leisure you could think of. during the verse where we see The Man on the yacht, she sings “they’d say i hustled, put in the work, they wouldn’t shake their heads and question how much of this i deserve”. this is reminiscent of The Man when he was in the office and how, no matter how much work he did or didn’t do, he is heralded as a genius. the point of saying she’d be just like leo in st. tropez is not to try and call out leonardo dicaprio for going a cruise and having some fun. people should be entitled to celebrate and vacation however they please. the point is that women should be able to do the same thing.

7. The Man’s “walk of shame”

this is a metaphor for how men in society are treated when they take a misstep. while women can be criminalized and thrown the wolves, it appears that men always have people on their team, and in this case, hands lining up to be high-fived. men often are not held to the same standards as women, and even when they do something wrong, they face very little backlash for it, and normally have their own set of groupies or supporters telling them that they were really in the right (and they are allowed to believe it).

at the back of the hallway, there hangs a portrait of The Man pointing at the camera, as if to say “you ARE the man.” it feels like uncle sam, but in a “ i want YOU for us army whatever your heart desires” kind of way.

8. world’s greatest dad

the bar for men is so low that when they do the very minimum (in this case, merely look after their own child), they get commended for it. imagine if this were a woman. would she be applauded? no, she would probably be reprimanded for being on her phone and ignoring her child, like The Man did here.

9. bragging

this one is pretty self-explanatory. what’s it like to brag about raking in dollars and getting bitches and models? what’s it like when it’s all good if you’re bad and it’s okay if you’re mad? in this scene, we see The Man telling all his buddies about the bitches and models and dollars, and then freaking out on somebody.

10. raking in dollars

who's on the 100 dollar bill? he is! the serial number on this bill also ends in 13. i thought there might be more hidden goodies here, but if there are, the video isn’t in high enough resolution to tell. the only other thing i can make out was that it said “for motion picture use only” which i thought would be an easter egg until i rendered it in photoshop and could read it clearly. oh well!

11. raising money for the women’s charity

a problem we see in society a lot is people of privilege being an ally only by action, not by everyday behavior. here, we see The Man benefitting a women’s charity, but all throughout the video we haven’t seen him go out of his way to respect or give a voice to women. even in this shot, a woman stands on the sidelines while The Man takes all the glory. while he raises money for women, he has no other character traits that show he actually cares about them.

in a different shot of this scene, a water bottle from taylor’s merch can be seen on the sideline.

12. the unimpressed umpire

this is taylor’s dad! his name is scott. in a video full of mediocre men, scott is our resident Good Man :)

13. the freakout

in 2018, serena williams unleashed on an umpire who accused her of cheating and stuck her with her third penalty of the game -- penalties the whole crowd was certain she did not deserve. she even said at the time “To lose a game for saying that, it’s not fair. How many other men do things? There’s a lot of men out here who have said a lot of things. It’s because I am a woman, and that’s not right.” this is a DIRECT representation of this. it’s as they say, it’s all good if you’re bad, and it’s okay if you’re mad.

14. the hat

the hat our tennis attendant is seen wearing says “TS” in big letters, and in a circle around it, it says “i’d be a fearless leader, i’d be an alpha type.” taylor’s dad can also be seen wearing this hat.

15. the one where lover is NOT the happy couple’s first dance

first of all, this shit makes me SO uncomfortable. this is obviously an allusion to all the men who marry MUCH younger women, which is poignant because, again, taylor suffers mercilessly for her relationship choices, and they’re nowhere near as abhorrent as this. something also worth mentioning: scott borchetta is turning 58 this year. i’ll let you figure the rest out.

16. mr americana

any taylor swift fan will know that in january, taylor released a documentary with an intimate perspective on her life titled “miss americana” which focused a lot on the struggles taylor has overcome in her career. choosing miss americana to be a part of this video is a wise choice, because it highlights those same struggles that taylor is tackling in this music video. we can probably assume that mr americana faces significantly less struggles.

every part of this poster has been revamped to be man-centered, even down to the star role - tyler swift, not taylor.

17. take two

here, our director tells The Man that he needs to be sexier, and more likable. this reflects criticism that taylor and other women in the public eye hear almost daily. as i mentioned before, women in society are valued only as objects of beauty and desire, and here, we see the script flipped to bring that to light.

in this final scene, we leave the fantasy world of the music video that The Man is starring in, and go to what appears to be a woman-dominated world, insinuating that the universe of the music video is one opposite to our own. this drives home the claim that if taylor were the man, she would be the man.

18. dwayne the rock johnson

i thought that having the rock voice The Man was really poignant. think about the rock’s career -- started out as a wrestler, is now an actor, but he’s known for his kindness and his dedication to social justice. if you asked me if he had ever been a part of any scandal, i would tell you no. and that’s exactly who The Man is. that’s exactly who this song is about, and that’s who taylor is. she has had an insanely successful career spanning over a decade, crossing into multiple different genres and fields, and excelling at all of it. she’s friendly, hard working, a social justice warrior, and a philanthropist. but all of those things are pushed aside in favor of the negative. using the rock as The Man was the perfect way of finishing off the statement,

“if i was a man, i’d be the man.”

#the man #taylor swift #directed by taylor swift #lover #the man music video #this took me SO LONG to finish #i've had class and meetings all day so i have been writingi it since like eight am #BUT I FINALLY FINISHED IT #ii'm sure some of these things have already been said #but i just love writing posts like this so much #and this video was FILLED with meaningful and poignant stuff #i can't get OVER it #this video said EVERYTHING #i.....#there's nothing left to be said #i love it so much #random thoughts with grace

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faedawayyy · 3 years

Text

A Useless Guide to the Carmichaels

DISCLAIMER: this is a bunch of headcanons that i’ve come up with. OBVIOUSLY since synn and katie and nadine and meg in a way have characters that are tied to their family...BUt these are my original headcanons for the family, so if things aren’t quite right or sound different, it’s bc they’re my most developed family and it’s the way i’ve written them in canon verse!

SYLVIA CARMICHAEL - GRANDMOTHER

sylvia’s family are russian and came over to england after the war. her father was a general and her mother was a seamstress and she was raised in a very, very conservative and upper-class family. she went and studied at st andrews in edinburgh and that’s where she met hank carmichael, who her father always pushed her towards from the moment he knew of him. sylvia carries a lot of her family values and clashed with her GEN X kids because their ideologies were so different. for example, she sturggled edwin’s sexuality and oliver’s more liberal mannerisms. it doesn’t stop her from trying to “guide” her grandchildren.

HANK CARMICHAEL - GRANDMOTHER

hank was born and raised in england. his father was an extremely wealthy banker, his mother died when he was young but he never really thought about her because his father never spoke of her. he was raised mainly by his aunt while his father worked around the clock. they were an extremely wealthy family and when he was old enough, hank attended boarding school. he never really had parental guidance and his creativity always ran wild. he was trouble at school, but smart enough not to get caught. after he graduated from st andrews and moved in with sylvia, he invested his entire trust-fund into a book publishing business, which is still successful to this day. he’s a huge family man due to not having one when he was younger

second generation.

EDWIN CARMICHAEL

edwin is the oldest of sylvia’s and hank’s children and always worked hard to be a people pleaser. he was often referred to as the golden child and the absolute brightest star in his mother’s sky. from an early age, he showed interest in entertainment which hank inspired and supported.

things changed for edwin in the middle of high school when he decided to come out about his sexuality. he was severely bullied and his relationship with sylvia broke down. he STILL hasn’t got the best relationship with his mother, especially after he married his husband, but they stay civil for the rest of the family’s sake.

he now works in property and lost his confidence in acting when he was bullied.

OLIVER CARMICHAEL

SYNN’S CHARACTER, BUT HERE IS HOW I INTERPRET HIM. oliver is the second oldest child of sylvia and hank. he was rebellious from the start. he never enjoyed trying to live up to edwin’s golden standard, he hated the events and the social climbing. he just wanted to be a regular kid and have regular experiences, but it never happened for him. when he was 18, it hit him that he was an adult and sylvia and hank have 0 influence over him. he took his trustfund, travelled and got the hell out of violet springs. however, just like with everybody else, age caught him up and he ended up settling in london with a woman he met while backpacking in australia. he likes his children knowing their family, so he reluctantly shows up to family events but you’d never catch either of them in violet springs if they didn’t have to be.

JAMES CARMICHAEL

james is the middle child and arguably the most successful of the carmichael’s. he was never the favourite and had a streak in him that caused him to clash with hank from a young age. he was a loveable rouge who grew into a loveable white-collard criminal. he was smarter than he let on and had endless ambition. like edwin, he attended university but instead of picking a profession that hid away from his true ambition, he invested his entire trustfund into a studio in los angeles where he planned to make amazing films...it paid off. he married his wife (patricia) who he met when she worked as a set designer on one of his projects, but it wasn’t all happily ever after. james played around with money a little too much and tried to take out his competition in shady ways. this led to things getting too much for him and he faked his death almost a year ago. all of his family beside mason believe him to be dead.

JOHNATHAN CARMICHAEL

completely synn’s character, the father of theo

SINEAD CARMICHAEL

sinead was the only girl of five children and completely used it to her advantage. she watched the way her brother’s and father knew how to dominate rooms, conversations and other people. she grew up with the mindset that she could have absolutely anything she wanted, as long as she worked (or cheated) hard enough for it. sinead dropped out of school at 15 and almost gave her mother an hernia. she blew most of her trust fund on a sweet 16 and then a sweet 18, anything that was left went on her 21st. she’s a very “live in the moment” woman and cares little for consequences. she actually ended up teaming up with james and starring in a few of his earliest projects before becoming an actress in her own right. she’s blacklisted by a lot of hollywood producers for her refusal to submit and listen to direction. she’s head strong and does what she likes.

third generation.

RUBY ROSINI - ADOPTED DAUGHTER OF EDWIN.

when ruby was adopted by edwin, there was all round excitement from every single member of the family; a little, brown-eyed girl from italy arriving on their doorsteps. she was so different from the majority blue-eyed children who filled the family tree. the cousins all immediately became protective of her and loved getting to know who she was as a person. now they’re grown up, she’s viewed as a cousin and it’s easy to forget that she was ever adopted or came from anywhere else.

THOMAS CARMICHAEL - SON OF OLIVER

thomas is the oldest son of oliver and like his dad, he’s a bit of a free spirit but unlike his dad, he’s a lot more laidback and less likely to clash or argue with anyone. as far as carmichael’s go, he’s quite wholesome and kind and oliver will 100% say that it’s because he was raised away from the madness of their family. however, growing up away from the others isn’t as good in his eyes as it is in his dad’s. he often feels boring and on the outside, he will always do his best to fit in with the other guys and is easily manipulated. as a child, he got into trouble so many times from listening to the shit brody and leo used to tell him to do. even to this day, he’s overly loyal and attached to them because he’s desperate to feel a real part of the family.

KATELYN CARMICHAEL - DAUGHTER OF OLIVER

katelyn is the oldest of the third generation and oliver’s daughter. she’s blunt, witty and doesn’t mince her words. unlike most of the women in her family, she cares little for appearances or staying in certain social circles. she’s a drama teacher in a high school and enjoys living a normal life, but does dip into the funds of her family name every now and then to have a bit of fun. she’s a blast at family parties and everybody is always excited to see what scandalous or stupid thing she’ll do next to annoy her grandmother.

ANASTASIA CARMICHAEL - DAUGHTER OF JAMES

the oldest of james’ children and undeniably the real favourite. she’s an overachiever and type of girl who was good at everything in school and still is; she’s athletic, artistic, academic, a good mother, an amazing business woman, she’s smart, she’s intuitive, she’s healthy and rarely loses in competitions with her siblings or anyone else for that matter.

anastasia has her daughter, darcy, and is engaged to ryder banks. there’s no love there but like her grandmother, she understands the importance of appearances. you’d have to be crazy if you thought she hasn’t had a string of affairs and STILL has them. however, she also has standards and is very selective over who she lets get close.

darcy is her #1 priority and she’ll fight fiercely to make sure she always stays that way.

LEONARDO CARMICHAEL - SON OF JAMES

leo is james’ oldest son and again, like anastasia, kind of set the bar in the early days for the rest of his siblings. when it was the two of them and mason, everything was about leo and anastasia, they grew up in constant competition; leo tended to always fall short of his sister’s achievements. however, as they grew and the two of them came into their own, it was clear that leo was never going to be one to be in the shadows for too long - starting with gaining the attention from girls as he grew through high school. even girls in brody’s and miles’s year were heart-eyes over him and he was a few years older. yet, just like with the rest of his siblings, he was promised and later engaged to somebody that his father handpicked for him to ensure the carmichael wealth wouldn’t dwindle out and fall into the wrong, new money hands. OOC//i could write more but it doesnt feel right bc he’s now katie’s character. obviously i have my own ideas/fiancee for original leo!

MASON CARMICHAEL - SON OF JAMES

mason broke the trend of extroverted, go-getter type kids and ended up being the quietest and youngest of the bunch until miles was born. he was a big momma’s boy growing up, and even though he’s never really felt like the favourite, he always enjoyed the company of adults and quieter environments compared to his siblings who would thrive around kids of their own age. mason is wise beyond his years and it’s a running joke that he was supposed to be born first. he is the only one that knows james isn’t dead and was trusted with this information because even though brody was the favourite by a longshot, james knew mason would keep it quiet and be less affected by the secret. mason both hates and loves being a part of the carmichaels. he loves his family but also hates the madness that comes along with it.

BRODY CARMICHAEL - SON OF JAMES

brody never really had to work to be the favourite of his parents - he just is. he had the right amount of intelligence, cockiness and charm to keep adults on side throughout his whole life. ironically, out of everybody in the third generation, he’s probably the biggest fuck up too but the adults turn a blind eye to it because it’s him. a huge reason he’s favoured by james is because he was clearly enough for charles to allow him to marry his oldest daughter, disney. this was such a big deal for james because charles has a LOT of connections (shady and not shady) in the entertainment industry and he knew the merger between the companies would keep the carmichael legacy in tact for generations. brody usually rises to being the favourite and is slightly smug about it, but he also cracks the most under pressure and has had dozens of meltdowns over the span of his life growing up.

MILES CARMICHAEL - SON OF JAMES

miles is the youngest...son...of james. james has no idea that patricia had an affair and that miles isn’t actually his son. miles has always struggled severely with keeping up with his siblings. he developed common but crippling mental health issues in his pre-teen years such as depression and anxiety. it started with acting out and being a “problem child” but quickly developed in being too scared to leave the house. he locked himself away and wasted away his young years not really interacting with anyone outside of his immediate family. on top of that, he had he achievements of brody, mason, anastasia and leo to remind him of what a failure is...eventually he just stopped trying. these days his siblings are supportive and aware of how he can get. his cynicism is literally his humour and he’s just taking one day at a time.

BELLA CARMICHAEL - DAUGHTER OF JAMES

bella was dubbed the next brody. all of her siblings adore her and so do her parents and grandparents. she’s the second child who can do absolutely no wrong in anybody’s eyes. bella was a young star and worked in hollywood making tv cameos long before she started school. she had two lives; her school and dance life, and her celebrity life. she grew up with more life experience than other kids and this made her painfully cunning. she knew exactly how to get people on side and had whoever she wanted wrapped around her little finger. she and brody were hit hardest by james’s death. bella was all over the place and gained a little weight - something she wasn’t familiar with after being petite her whole life. she’s now just trying to stable herself again.

THEO CARMICHAEL - SON OF JOHNATHAN

SYNN’S CHARACTER

HERA CARMICHAEL-RUSH

hera is the middle child of sinead. she too is inteligent and calculated but she’s also the opposite of the james’s girls. hera has never worked a day in her life and has no intention to. she’s a socialite and just like her mother, does what she wants when she wants to. she lives off of mommy’s money (because her dad bailed on them and honestly, fuck him). hera also came out as bisexual at a christmas party because she knew it’d make sylvia uncomfortable. she’s a wind up and enjoys getting a rise out of people.

OPHELIA CARMICHAEL-RUSH

ophelia is old enough to remember the messy divorce of her parents and adopted her mother’s bad-ass and care free attitude towards it from that day on. she hates her dad for what he did to their family but doesn’t let it hold her back and when she turned 18, she took him to court to keep her name on the inheritance of his million dollar winery business...and won. she’s the trailblazer for her quieter and more introverted siblings. she’s someone who knows she’s gorgeous and uses her looks to her advantage.

LUNA CARMICHAEL-RUSH

luna has always been shy and hid behind the bolder personalities of her sister’s. she used to feel boring because of it but has quickly accepted that’s who she is and she’s happy with it. as she becomes 26, she’s starting to feel extremely embarrassed and insecure about her lack of experience with anybody. yet, her father walking out makes her find it hard to connect with and trust people. she has high standards and no standards at the same time and is really lost in terms of her romantic relationships. HOWEVER, she is thriving in her career and mason has featured her as an actress in many projects. she currently attends rosewell and enjoys the french culture.

DAMUS CARMICHAEL-RUSH

damus is a pastiche of every criminal and calculated act a carmichael before him has committed. he actively seeks out trouble and due to not being able to find his “place” in the family, he seems to like to win the affections of his elders by getting involved in dodgy dealings that they’ve set up - particularly those of james and johnathan. damus gets a rush out of being in on his family’s darkest secrets but he also feels like a spare part - the one who gets put into dangerous scenarios because the others are too precious to do so.

third generation age order: - katelyn - anastasia - leo - thomas - ophelia - mason - brody - hera - luna - ruby - miles - bella - damus

fourth generation (work in progress): - darcy and wren, children of anastasia - fleur and dixie, daughters of brody - victoria and peter, children of mason - jacob and harlow, son of theo

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moonlightguardianmoon · 4 years

Text

The Epic Adventures of Malik and Leonardo

Episode 2

The next day had come, Malik stretched his arm out and yawned, slowly opening his eyes he took a look at his clock and saw it was 6;31 in the morning. Malik got up and got dressed in his regular clothes and ready for the day. Before making his way out of his room he grabbed the drive off of his night stand and put in his pocket.

He started walking downstairs and was greeted with Achilles, Leonardo, Evie, Bayek, Aya, kassandra, Maria, Henry and Arno already awake and eating breakfast at the table and just as Shuan said, Altair, Ezio, Connor, Desmond, Rebecca and Shaun were no where to be found.

Malik: I see that Jacob, Edward, and Alexios are once again sleeping in till 10 again, not surprising.

Evie: *sigh* that's my brother.

Henry: sounds like Jacob. *Pat's evie on the back*

Leonardo: Claudia should be up by 8 soon. Oh! and Malik, before I forget Shaun says William will be here to pick up the drive in a week from now.

Malik: good, so that just leaves us plenty of time to relax.

Maria: you still have the drive with you Malik?

Malik: *pulls drive out of his pocket and held it up for the group* yep.

Achilles: good, don't loose it, or else Shaun's gonna loose it.

Malik: trust me Achilles, I won't loose it. Unlike Jacob, I take care my things.

Leonardo: well just to be safe I recommend putting in this. *pulls out a small plastic baggie*

Malik: plastic?

Leonardo: it's a zip-lock bag, I hear people use them to keep food items in them, but they also can be used to keep electronics from potentially get wet.

Malik: I doubt I will be anywhere near water today, but I guess better safe then sorry.

Leonardo handed Malik the zip-lock bag and Malik placed the drive in the plastic bag then sealed it up.

Malik: there that should keep it from possible water damage.

A couple of hours had gone by, it was 12:45 now and everyone had been doing there own thing, Jacob was playing video games on the living room T.V with Alexios and Arno on the floor. Edward was talk to Achilles at the table about how ships have changed so much over the years, Maria sat on the couch petting little Nasir behind the ears, Aya, bayek, Evie and Henry were talking about the creed, Leonardo was paint a portrait of Senu, as he sat on Bayek's shoulder and Malik was read on the couch.

Jacob: I'm gonna beat you Arno!

Arno: you said that last round and I completely decimated the two of you!

Alexios: no way! I'm going to win this time!

The three assassin continuously smashed the button on there controller as it was get to final bit.

Jacob: YES! NO! YES! NO WAIT! STOOOOP!!!!

Arno and Alexios: SHUT UP JACOB!

Jacob: >=[ ... 💡! BLOODY HELL WHATS THAT OVER THERE!!!

Alexios: *turns to his head to his left* WHERE?!?!

Arno: you idiot! He trying to distract-

Jacob: *throws a near by book at Arno then one of his sweaty socks at Alexios* HAHA!

Arno: *gets hit in the face* Ouch! Jacob you enfoiré, (you bastard)!!!

Alexios: GROSS IS THIS ONE OF YOUR SOCKS!!!

Jacob: Fresh off the foot too!

Alexios: *grimaces* 🤢 hUu GROSS JACOB!!!

Jacob: Haha!!!

Game: player 1 wins!!!

Jacob: WOOW! SUCK IT YOU TWO I WIN!

Arno: JACOB YOU CHEATING BASTARD!!!

Alexios: YOU DIDN'T WIN SH*T!!!

Jacob: HAHA!! THE GAME SAYS OTHER WISE WOOOOW!!! *stands up quickly in victory and accidentally threw his controller behind him*

Malik: *gets hit in the face with the controller* OUCH! JACOB!

Jacob: uh oh... sorry Malik...

Malik: *does a hard sigh, gets up and closing his book*

Maria: where are you going?

Malik: out. *walks up stairs*

Jacob: out? where?

Malik: anywhere but here.

Leonardo: oh Malik!

Malik: what?

Leonardo: if you are planning on going out, mind if I tag along? I'm not aloud to leave the house unless I'm accompanied by one of you.

Malik: I don't care if you do or don't, as long as you aren't Jacob then I'm fine with it.

Jacob: HEY!

Evie: he has a point Jacob.

Malik and Leonardo head up stairs to change into their modern wear. Malik wore a white t-shirt, a black jacket that had the left sleeve pinned up, dark grey pants and black shoes. Leonardo wore a cactus green thin sweater shirt, a thin light brown coat, blue jeans, brown shoes, a thin red silk scarf and his red beret. Malik grabbed his black leather wallet and his phone that Shaun, Rebecca, and Desmond had given him and the others, placing them in his back pocket along with the drive.

Leonardo grabbed his satchel and placed his sketch book and drawing things into the bag as well as his wallet and phone. The two head-out the front door and began walking the down town streets of New York. There was silence between the two for a bit before Leonardo broke the silence.

Leonardo: wow, New York. You know I hardly ever get to see this place.

Malik: remind me again why you can't leave the house exactly?

Leonardo: well since I play an important key role in history, I'm not aloud to leave the house with out one of the assassins to accompany me out in the streets for my safety.

Malik: ya (oh)... right... well it must be nice finally getting out right?

Leonardo: Si, it is quite nice out today. *smiles*

Malik: ... *sigh*

Leonardo: what?

Malik: it's nothing.

Leonardo: that heavy sigh didn't sound like nothing.

Malik: it's just... how are you so incredibly positive all the time?! Always smiling everywhere you go, always seeing the light side of things?!

Leonardo: ... is this about Jacob throwing the-

Malik: NO! NO ITS NOT! It’s just, why are you so... happy, all the time.

Leonardo: Oh well, I just always keep a positive mindset.

Malik: Tch! You do know that this world isn't always sunshine and rainbows you know.

Leonardo: I am aware, I've seen it and I've experienced it on multiple occasions, but I just always think positively on things. There is always a light somewhere at the end of the dark tunnel right?

Malik: oh please this world just loves to screw with us, if anything its annoying and irritating.

Leonardo: hm... *imitates Malik's sigh*

Malik: what?

Leonardo: nothing.

Malik: ok what do you want alhimar aldhaki (smart @$$)?

Leonardo: well I just don't understand how you can see the world in such darkness. I can understand if its because of *looks at Malik's missing arm* ... personal reasons... but you seem to have forgave and forgot-

Malik: I didn't forget... I only forgave...

Leonardo: hm... I think I see your problem Malik, you forgive, but you hurt cause you don't forget. You need to learn to let go.

Malik: ... I try... its... harder then what it seems...

Leonardo: it can be tough, but there's always hope. There will always be that spark of light in life, you know. PMA!

Malik: P.M.A?

Leonardo: Positive Mental Attitude!

Malik: ... where did you learn this from?

Leonardo: from an Irish man on the internet. Desmond introduced me to his channel he does gaming videos. For someone who yells a lot in his videos, he seems to be quite an expert on positive mental health.

Malik: which tuber did you say he was?

Leonardo: the one with the green eye named Sam.

Malik: oh that one.

The two chatted for a bit till they reached a cafe. The everyone in the assassin's household were quite fumiler with this cafe and would frequently visited it cause of how close it was and the food they had there was amazing.

Leonardo: shall we stop here for some food?

Malik: sure why not.

They entered the small cafe and saw a guy in a zipped up brow puffy coat with all kinds of pins pinned around the front of it, he wore saggy jeans and had shaggy brown, shoulder length hair, as well as have brown eyes and a goatee similar to Malik's but a length longer, behind the counter.

Cafe guy: well if it isn't my two amigos! Leo, Malik, how you two dudes been?

Leonardo: saluti (greetings) Michael!

Malik: marhabaan (hello) Mike.

Michael: so what can I get for you dudes today.

Malik: Hm... I'll have latte, no soy, and half a foot sub.

Michael: alright the usual latte, no soy and a sub got ya. Alright and what about you Leo? The usual vegetarian salad?

Leonardo: yes please, and can I have cappuccino as well please.

Michael: alright then, you got Leo.

So after sometime of wait the two received their food and drinks they took a seat inside and began eating and talking, unaware of two people watching them from a far.

End of episode 2

Tune in till next time to see who these to mysterious people are ✌

Sorry if this was a little short 😓

Previous [X] next [X]

If you want to see Duccio get thrown out click here -> X

Remember to keep a positive mental attitude

18 notes · View notes

fictionfromafar · 3 years

Text

Unmissable International Crime Fiction Novels from April 2021 onwards

1 April

The Untamable by Guillermo Arriaga

MacLehose Press

A gripping coming of age thriller of vengeance and destiny set between Mexico City's murderous 1960s underworld and the bleak tundras of Canada's most remote province. By the BAFTA-winning screenwriter of Amores Perros.

Yukon, Canada's far north. A young man tracks a wolf through the wilderness. In Mexico City, Juan Guillermo has pledged vengeance.

1 April

Bullet Train by Kotaro Isaka, translated by Sam Marissa

Harvill Secker

Five killers find themselves on a bullet train from Tokyo competing for a suitcase full of money. Who will make it to the last station? A bestseller in Japan, Bullet Train is an original and propulsive thriller which fizzes with an incredible energy as its complex net of double-crosses and twists unwinds to the last station.

15 April

Silenced by Sólveig Pálsdóttir, translated by Quentin Bates

Corylus Books

After a turbulent few years, Guðgeir Fransson is back with the Reykjavík police force and is called on to look into the suspicious suicide of a young woman in a cell at the Hólmsheiði prison. On the surface, it looks like a straightforward investigation. As he digs into the dead woman’s past, he unearths links to a man’s disappearance more than twenty years ago.

My review of The Fox:

15 April

We Trade Our Night for Someone Else’s Day by Ivana Bodrožić, translated by Ellen Elias-Bursac

Penguin Random House

Nora is a journalist assigned to do a puff piece on the perpetrator of a crime of passion–a Croatian high school teacher who fell in love with one of her students, a Serb, and is now in prison for having murdered her husband. But Nora herself is the daughter of a man who was murdered years earlier under mysterious circumstances. And she wants, if not to avenge her father, at least to bring to justice whoever committed the crime.

15 April

How To Betray Your Country by James Wolff

Bitter Lemon Press

Following on from the acclaimed debut novel Beside the Syrian Sea, this is the second title in a planned trilogy about loyalty and betrayal in the modern world. An authentic thriller about the thin line between following your conscience and following orders. James Wolff is the pseudonym of a young English novelist who “has been working for the British government for the last ten years”.

22 April

Trap for Cinderella by Sebastien Japrisot

Gallic Books

A beach house at a French resort is gutted by fire. Trapped inside are two women - one rich and the other poor. Only one of them survives, burnt beyond recognition and in a state of total amnesia. Who is she, the heiress or her penniless friend? A killer, or an intended victim?

29 April

Geiger by Gustaf Skordeman

Zaffre

The landline rings as Agneta is waving off her grandchildren. Just one word comes out of the receiver: 'Geiger'. For decades, Agneta has always known that this moment would come, but she is shaken. She knows what it means. Retrieving her weapon from its hiding place, she attaches the silencer and creeps up behind her husband before pressing the barrel to his temple.

29 April

Facets of Death by Michael Stanley

Orenda Books

Detective Kubu, renowned international detective, has faced off with death more times than he can count... But what was the case that established him as a force to be reckoned with? In Facets of Death, a prequel to the acclaimed Detective Kubu series, the fresh-faced cop gets ensnared in an international web of danger—can he get out before disaster strikes?

29 April

The Girl Who Died by Ragnar Jonasson

Michael Joseph

Una knows she is struggling to deal with her father's sudden, tragic suicide. She spends her nights drinking alone in Reykjavik, stricken with thoughts that she might one day follow in his footsteps.

So when she sees an advert seeking a teacher for two girls in the tiny village of Skálar - population of ten - on the storm-battered north coast of the island, she sees it as a chance to escape.

13 May

Seat 7a by Sebastian Fitzek, translated by Jamie Bulloch

Head of Zeus

Psychiatrist Mats Krüger knows that his irrational fear of flying is just that – irrational. He knows that flying is nineteen times safer than driving. He also knows that if something does happen on a plane, the worst place to be is seat 7A. That's why on his first plane journey in 20 years – to be with his only daughter as she gives birth – he's booked seat 7A, so no one else can sit there. If no one is sat there, surely nothing will go wrong.

My review of Passenger 23 :

https://fictionfromafar.tumblr.com/post/643950323513311232/passenger-23-by-sebastian-fitzek-passenger-23-by

13 May

The Assistant by Kjell Ola Dahl, translated by Don Bartlett

Orenda Books

Oslo, 1938. When a woman turns up at the office of police-turned-private investigator Ludvig Paaske, has accepted a routine case to find evidence of a cheating husband but soon enough his assistant Jack Rivers has been accused of murder. Rivers is no angel, and Paaske must dig deep to find out what’s going on. The secrets he uncovers go all the way back to 1920s Norway when smugglers, pimps and racketeers ruled the Oslo underworld.

20 May

Summertime, All the Cats Are Bored by Philippe Georget, Translated by Steven Rendall

Europa Editions

It’s the middle of a long hot summer on the French Mediterranean shore and the town is full of tourists. Sebag and Molina, two tired cops who are being slowly devoured by dull routine and family worries, deal with the day’s misdemeanors and petty complaints at the Perpignan police headquarters without a trace of enthusiasm. Out of the blue a young Dutch woman is brutally murdered on a beach at Argelès, and another disappears without a trace in the alleys of the city. A serial killer obsessed with Dutch women?

20 May

Oxygen by Sacha Naspini, Translated by Clarissa Botsford

Europa Editions

Laura disappeared into thin air in 1999, at eight years old. She was found in a metal container, fourteen years later.

Luca is having dinner with his father dinner when they are interrupted by a visit from the carabinieri, who take his father away. Luca can only watch the scene unfold, helpless. The charges brought against esteemed anthropologist Carlo Maria Balestri are extremely grave: multiple counts of abduction, torture, murder, and concealing his victims’ bodies.

27 May

The Waiter by Ajay Chowdhury

Harvill Secker

Disgraced detective Kamil Rahman moves from Kolkata to London to start afresh as a waiter in an Indian restaurant. But the day he caters a birthday party for his boss's friend on Millionaire's Row, his simple new life becomes rather complicated. The event is a success, the food is delicious, but later that evening the host, Rakesh, is found dead in his swimming pool.

27 May

The Fortune Men by Nadifa Mohamed

Viking

Mahmood Mattan is a fixture in Cardiff's Tiger Bay, 1952, which bustles with Somali and West Indian sailors, Maltese businessmen and Jewish families. He is a father, chancer, some-time petty thief. He is many things, in fact, but he is not a murderer.

So when a shopkeeper is brutally killed and all eyes fall on him, Mahmood isn't too worried. It is true that he has been getting into trouble more often since his Welsh wife Laura left him. But Mahmood is secure in his innocence in a country where, he thinks, justice is served.

10 June

In the Shadow of the Fire by Herve Le Corre, translated by Tina Kover

Europa Editions

The Paris Commune’s “bloody week” sees the climax of the savagery of the clashes between the Communards and the French Armed Forces loyal to Versailles. Amid the shrapnel and the chaos, while the entire west side of Paris is a field of ruins, a photographer fascinated by the suffering of young women takes “suggestive” photos to sell to a particular clientele. Young women begin disappearing, and when Caroline, a seamstress who volunteers at a first aid station, is counted among the missing, her fiancé Nicolas, a member of the Commune’s National Guard, and Communal security officer Antoine, sets off independently in search of her.

10 June

The All Human Wisdom by Pierre Lemaitre

MacLehose Press

In 1927, the great and the good of Paris gather at the funeral of the wealthy banker, Marcel Péricourt. His daughter, Madeleine, is poised to take over his financial empire (although, unfortunately, she knows next to nothing about banking). More unfortunately still, when Madeleine's seven-year-old son, Paul, tumbles from a second floor window of the Péricourt mansion on the day of his grandfather's funeral, and suffers life-changing injuries, his fall sets off a chain of events that will reduce Madeleine to destitution and ruin in a matter of months.

15 June

The Transparency Of Time, Leonardo Padura, translated by Anna Kushner,

Bitter Lemon Press

Mario Conde is facing down his sixtieth birthday. What does he have to show for his decades on the planet? A failing body, a slower mind, and a decrepit country, in which both the ideals and failures of the Cuban Revolution are being swept away in favor of a new and newly cosmopolitan worship of money. Rescue comes in the form of a new case: an old Marxist turned flamboyant practitioner of Santería appears on the scene to engage Conde to track down a stolen statue of the Virgen de Regla—a black Madonna. This sets Conde on a quest that spans twenty-first century Havana as well as the distant past to uncover the true provenance of the statue.

My review of Havana Fever:

https://fictionfromafar.tumblr.com/post/631759758177746944/havana-fever-written-by-leonardo-padura

24 June

The Wrong Goodbye by Toshihiko Yahagi, translated by Alfred Birnbaum

MacLehose Press

In a nod to Raymond Chandler, The Wrong Goodbye pits homicide detective Eiji Futamura against a shady Chinese business empire and U.S. military intelligence in the docklands of recession hit Japan. After the frozen corpse of immigrant barman Tran Binh Long washes up in midsummer near Yokosuka U.S. Navy Base, Futamura meets a strange customer from Tran’s bar. Vietnam vet pilot Billy Lou Bonney talks Futamura into hauling three suitcases of “goods” to Yokota US Air Base late at night and flies off leaving a dead woman behind. My review:

https://fictionfromafar.tumblr.com/post/641412317374988288/the-wrong-goodbye

24 June

Sleepless by Romy Haussmann, translated by Jamie Bulloch

Quercus

It's been years since Nadja Kulka was convicted of a cruel crime. After being released from prison, she's wanted nothing more than to live a normal life: nice flat, steady job, even a few friends. But when one of those friends, Laura von Hoven - free-spirited beauty and wife of Nadja's boss - kills her lover and begs Nadja for her help, Nadja can't seem to be able to refuse.

29 June

Black Ice by Carin Gerhardsen

Scarlet

January in Gotland. The days are short, the air is cold, and all the roads are covered in snow. On a deserted, icy backroad, these wintery conditions will soon bring together a group of strangers with a force devastating enough to change their lives forever when, in the midst of a brief period, a deadly accident and two separate crimes leave victims in their wake.

1st July

The Darkness Knows by Arnaldur Indridason

Harvill Secker

A woman approaches Konrad with new information and progress can finally be made. But as Konrad starts to look back at the case and secrets of the past, he is forced to come face to face with his own dark side. In What the Darkness Knows, the master of Icelandic crime writing reunites readers with Konrad, the unforgettable retired detective from The Shadow District.

1 July

Resilience by Bogdan Hrib, translated by Marina Sofia

Corylus Books

Stelian Munteanu has had enough of being an international man of mystery: all he wants to do is make the long-distance relationship with his wife Sofia work. But when the notorious Romanian businessman Pavel Coman asks him to investigate the death of his daughter in the north of England, he reluctantly gets involved once more in what proves to be a tangled web of shady business dealings and political conspiracies. Moving rapidly between London, Newcastle, Bucharest and Iasi, this novel shows just how easy it is to fall prey to fake news and social media manipulation.

8 July

The Therapist by Helene Flood, translated by Alison McCulloch

MacLehose Press

A voicemail from her husband tells Sara he's arrived at the holiday cabin. Then a call from his friend confirms he never did. She tries to carry on as normal, teasing out her clients' deepest fears, but as the hours stretch out, her own begin to surface. And when the police finally take an interest, they want to know why Sara deleted that voicemail.

13 July

Elena Knows by Claudia Piñeiro translated by Frances Riddle

Charco Press

After Rita is found dead in a church she used to attend, the official investigation into the incident is quickly closed. Her sickly mother is the only person still determined to find the culprit. Chronicling a difficult journey across the suburbs of the city, an old debt and a revealing conversation, Elena Knows unravels the secrets of its characters and the hidden facets of authoritarianism and hypocrisy in our society.

My review of Betty Boo:

https://fictionfromafar.tumblr.com/post/633225446612484096/

15 July

The Basel Killings

Hansjörg Schneider

Bitter Lemon Press

It the end of October, the city of Basel is grey and wet. It could be December. It is just after midnight when Police Inspector Peter Hunkeler, on his way home and slightly worse for wear, spots old man Hardy sitting on a bench under a street light. He wants to smoke a cigarette with him, but the usually very loquacious Hardy is silent—his throat a gaping wound. Turns out he was first strangled, then his left earlobe slit, his diamond stud stolen. The media and the police come quickly to the same conclusion: Hardy’s murder was the work of a gang of Albanian drug smugglers. But for Hunkeler that seems too obvious.

20 July

The Double Mother by Michel Bussi, translated by Sam Taylor

W&N

Already shown as a serial on Channel4’s Walter Presents (as The Other Mother), four-year-old Malone Moulin is haunted by nightmares of being handed over to a complete stranger and begins claiming his mother is not his real mother. His teachers at school say that it is all in his imagination as his mother has a birth certificate, photos of him as a child and even the pediatrician confirms Malone is her son. The school psychologist, Vasily, believes otherwise as the child vividly describes an exchange between two women.

22 July

Girls Who Lie Eva Bjorg AEgisdottir

Orenda

When single mother Maríanna disappears from her home, leaving an apologetic note on the kitchen table, everyone assumes that she’s taken her own life … until her body is found on the Grábrók lava fields seven months later, clearly the victim of murder. Her neglected fifteen-year-old daughter Hekla has been placed in foster care, but is her perfect new life hiding something sinister?

My Review of A Creak On The Stairs:

https://fictionfromafar.tumblr.com/post/631717704661942273/

22nd July

The Doll Yrsa Sigurdardottir

Hodder & Stoughton

It was meant to be a quiet family fishing trip, a chance for mother and daughter to talk. But it changes the course of their lives forever. They catch nothing except a broken doll that gets tangled in the net. After years in the ocean, the doll a terrifying sight and the mother's first instinct is to throw it back, but she relents when her daughter pleads to keep it. This simple act of kindness proves fatal. That evening, the mother posts a picture of the doll on social media. By the morning, she is dead and the doll has disappeared.

5 August

The Soul Breaker by Sebastian Fitzek, translated by Jamie Bulloch

Head Of Zeus

He doesn't kill them, or mutilate them. But he leaves them completely dead inside, paralysed and catatonic. His only trace a note left in their hands. There are three known victims when suddenly the abductions stop. The Soul Breaker has tired of his game, it seems. Meanwhile, a man has been found in the snow outside an exclusive psychiatric clinic. He has no recollection of who he is, or why he is there. Unable to match him to any of the police's missing people, the nurses call him Casper.

12 August

Cold Sun by Anita Sivakumaran

Dialogue Books

Bangalore. Three high-profile women murdered, their bodies draped in identical red saris. When the killer targets the British Foreign Minister's ex-wife, Scotland Yard sends the troubled, brilliant DI Vijay Patel to lend his expertise to the Indian police investigation. Stranger in a strange land, ex-professional cricketer Patel must battle local resentment and his own ignorance of his ancestral country, while trying to save his failing relationship back home.

August date TBC

Skin Deep by Antonia Lassa, translated by Jacky Collins

Corylus Books

The corpse of an elderly millionaire is discovered brutally scarred with acid burns. Her young lover is the chief suspect but the authorities admit they are baffled. It will take the intervention of private detective Albert Larten to explore all the complexities of desire, and ultimately reveal the truth.

19 August

Come Hell Or High Water by Christian Unge

MacLehose Press

The first in a new Swedish crime series featuring Tekla Berg – a fearless doctor with a remarkable photographic memory

With 85% per cent burns to his body and a 115% risk of dying, it’s a miracle the patient is still alive. That he made it this far is thanks to Tekla Berg, an emergency physician whose unorthodox methods and photographic memory are often the difference between life and death.

30 September

Night Hunters by Oliver Bottini

MacLehose Press

The fourth in the Black Forest Investigations - by the four-time winner of the German Crime Fiction Award. Over the course of several days one hot summer, a female student from Freiburg disappears, a father is murdered in a brutal attack, a teenage boy drowns in the Rhine in suspicious circumstances. It soon becomes evident to Chief Inspector Louise Boni and her colleagues at Freiburg's criminal police that the three cases are connected - and that others are now in terrible danger. Including Boni herself.

07 October

Lemon by Kwon Yeo-Sun

House Of Zeus

Focusing on the unsolved murder of teenage girl, this literary crime novel offers insights into gender, class and privilege in Seoul, and marks the English-language debut for award-winning Korean author, Kwon Yeo-sun.

In the summer of 2002, my big sister Hae-on was murdered. She was beautiful, intelligent, and only nineteen years old. Two boys were questioned, but the case was never solved. Her killer still walks free.

12 October

Bread: The Bastards of Pizzofalcone

by Maurizio de Giovanni

Europa Editions

Sometimes it takes facing a formidable adversary to truly know one’s worth. The Bastards of Pizzofalcone may have found just that: when the brutal murder of a baker rattles the city, they are ready to investigate. There’s nothing they wouldn’t do to prove themselves to their community. But this time the police are divided: for the special anti-mob branch, the local mafia is doubtlessly responsible for the crime, but the Bastards are not so sure and think there may be another reason for the murder of the renowned artisan, whose traditionally baked bread attracted customers from far and wide. A rivalry between the policeman and the magistrate is formed, one that, in the end, will extend to more than just their work lives.

12 October

The Corpse Flower by Anne Mette Hancock

Crooked Lane Books

It's early September in Copenhagen, the rain has been coming down for weeks, and 36-year-old journalist Heloise Kaldan is in the middle of a nightmare. One of her sources has been caught lying, and she could lose her job over it. And then she receives the first in a series of cryptic and ominous letters from an alleged killer.

28 October

Inertia by Camilla Grebe

Zaffre

Inertia is an eerie psychological thriller from the award-winning Swedish bestselling author Camilla Grebe. When 18-year old Samuel finds himself at the centre of a drug deal gone wrong, he is forced to go underground to escape the police and an infamous drug lord.

October date TBC

The Commandments by Oskar Gudmundsson

Corylus Books

On a cold winter morning in 1995, Anton, a 19-year-old boy, met a priest outside Glerárkirkja in Akureyri. After that, he was never seen again. Two decades later a priest is found murdered in the church in Grenivík. When the police investigate the case, they finds that a deacon has also been executed inside Akureyri.

28 October

Cold as Hell by Lilja Sigurdardottir

Orenda Books

Icelandic sisters Áróra and Ísafold live in different countries and aren‘t on speaking terms, but when their mother loses contact with Ísafold, Áróra reluctantly returns to Iceland to find her sister. But she soon realizes that her sister isn’t avoiding her … she has disappeared, without trace.

As she confonts Ísafold’s abusive, drug-dealing boyfriend Björn, and begins to probe her sister’s reclusive neighbours – who have their own reasons for staying out of sight – leads Áróra into an ever darker web of intrigue and manipulation.

28 October

The Rabbit Factor by Antti Toumainen

Orenda Books

What makes life perfect? Insurance mathematician Henri Koskinen knows the answer because he calculates everything down to the very last decimal.

And then, for the first time, Henri is faced with the incalculable. After suddenly losing his job, Henri inherits an adventure park from his brother – its peculiar employees and troubling financial problems included. The worst of the financial issues appear to originate from big loans taken from criminal quarters … and some dangerous men are very keen to get their money back.

2 November

Bricklayers

Selva Almada

Charco Press

Oscar Tamai and Elvio Miranda, the patriarchs of two families of brickmakers, have for years nursed a mutual hatred, but their teenage sons, Pájaro and Ángelito, somehow fell in love. Brickmakers begins as Pájaro and Marciano, Ángelito’s older brother, lie dying in the mud at the base of a Ferris wheel. Inhabiting a dreamlike state between life and death, they recall the events that forced them to pay the price of their fathers’ petty feud.

My review of Dead Girls:

https://fictionfromafar.tumblr.com/post/642554449326489600/dead-girls-charco-press

4 November

The Night Will Be Long

Santiago Gamboa

Europa Editions

When a horribly violent confrontation occurs outside of Cauca, Colombia, only a young boy is around to witness it. But no sooner does the violence happen than it disappears, vanished without a trace. Nobody claims to have seen anything. Nobody claims to have heard anything. That is, until an anonymous accusation catalyzes a dangerous investigation into the deep underbelly of the Christian churches present today in Latin America. The Night Will Be Long is a dark, twisting thriller filled with moments of humor and pain--a story that will stick with readers long after they turn the last page.

11 November

The Shadows of Men by Abir Mukherjee

Harvill Secker

When a Hindu theologian is found murdered in his home, the city is on the brink of all-out religious war. Can officers of the Imperial Police Force, Captain Sam Wyndham and Sergeant Surendranath Banerjee track down those responsible in time to stop a bloodbath? Set at a time of heightened political tension, beginning in atmospheric Calcutta and taking the detectives all the way to bustling Bombay, the latest instalment in this 'unmissable' (The Times) series presents Wyndham and Banerjee with an unprecedented challenge.

#crimeintranslation #crime fiction #european literature #latinamericancrimefiction #Nordic noir #Japanese crime fiction

2 notes · View notes

allthefilmsiveseenforfree · 3 years

Text

Magnolia

I don’t know much about Magnolia or Paul Thomas Anderson, but I do know that it takes someone paying me to get me to watch a 3-hr+ drama that doesn’t star Kate Winslet, Leonardo DiCaprio, and a really big boat. This is one of my mom’s favorite movies which is why she requested it for me to review. It’s packed with a balls-to-the-wall star-studded cast (Tom Cruise! Julianne Moore! Phillip Seymour Hoffman! John C. Reilly! William H. Macy! Felicity Huffman!) and I’m genuinely excited to see how they all fit together. Cause they have to all fit together in some coherent way, right? Well...

Do you remember in Sorry to Bother You when the Equisapiens came out and things just took like...a real turn? That’s kind of what this was like. Whereas StBY pushed a thought to its most extreme, but logical, conclusion, what Paul Thomas Anderson has done here feels like a magician doing a lot of impressive illusions - sawing a lady in half, making a motorcycle disappear, pulling smaller things out of bigger things - and then for his final trick, walking onstage amidst a grand plume of smoke, dropping his pants, taking a gigantic shit, and then saying, “You’ve been a great audience, thanks a lot and goodnight!” It’s not like you can say the experience was BAD. Everything up to the finale was a really great time! But when you’re left on a note that is that bafflingly odd, it kinda colors the way you’ll remember the whole thing.

Magnolia is the story of one long day in the life of 12 people living in Los Angeles who are all connected via an extensive web from acquaintances to married couples to parents and children to paid caregivers and beyond. It’s a day that has the same kind of ups and downs as any other day until it, well, turns into something else entirely. I’m not sure how else to explain it, but if you want to know more, spoilers will be spoiled below.

Some thoughts:

Patton Oswalt cameo! I am a massive fan and thought I knew his whole filmography and OMG how did I not know that he was in this!!

Ok, in spite of my skepticism this entire opening sequence about coincidence had me hooked IMMEDIATELY. Like, this is some damn good storytelling, if this were a novel, I would not be able to put it down - that pull, that’s what it feels like.

Am I the only person whose encyclopedic memory of character actors/roles gets distracted when they see someone from something that is wildly disparate compared to the role you’re currently watching? For example, I had to pause the movie and confirm via IMDB that I did just see Professor Sprout from HP scream “Shut the fuck up!” at her husband while brandishing a shotgun.

Would people really recognize a grown ass man from being a successful child game show contestant? I’ll tell you the answer, no they wouldn’t, because no one realizes that Peter Billingsley (aka Ralphie from A Christmas Story) is the head of the elf production line in Elf.

I knew this was a stacked cast, but holy SHIT this is a stacked cast. If I had $1 for every fantastic character actor I recognize in this, I would have at least $37, and these are people in the film who have maybe 2-3 lines each. It’s a deep bench is what I’m saying.

This makes me miss Phillip Seymour Hoffman so, so very much.

Watching PSH care for and be so compassionate and gentle with his hospice patient, Earl (Jason Robards),makes my heart ache terribly. All of the people who have been unable to perform this kindness, this type of compassionate care for their closest loved ones as they lie dying in isolation of Covid...it’s overwhelming.

OMG I’m counting 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 Very Good Dogs in the old man’s house!

I know Scientology is evil and he’s undeniably a complicated and morally grey person. I know all that. But goddamn I just love watching Tom Cruise COMMIT. Particularly when he commits to just absolute fucking sleazebag slimeballs. And boy oh boy is Frank Mackey an absolute fucking sleazebag slimeball.

Related - I know Frank looks like Tom Cruise, so he could get people to sleep with him no matter what, but I honestly feel like as a human being, this flesh suit is WAY more attractive balding and fat in Tropic Thunder than he is in this shiny brown shirt/leather vest/long hair combo.

I’m getting an uncomfortable vibe about these black characters being written by an artsy white dude, because I don’t know any young black kids who want to hang around with cops and offer up information about who committed a murder in their building. In fact, the way all of the black characters are treated in this film - as liars, criminals, the disingenuous “main stream media,” and thieves - feels rooted in some racist ass bullshit. We see a lot of nuance in our white characters, but even in a film that has, shockingly, more than one key black role, we don’t get that spectrum or nuance.

There is nothing I would love more than to learn that Frank Mackey is 1) gay 2) impotent or 3) both. He’s so disgustingly over-the-top misogynistic, it honestly feels like it should all be a complete act.

I confess I am on the edge of my seat trying to figure out how all these narrative threads tie together. It’s compelling as hell, even though half the time I don’t know why these people are having these long, meandering conversations. The pacing feels so deliberate, like a puzzle coming together. There’s real craftsmanship in how every scene is plotted to feel connected rather than manic or disjointed.

This pharmacist is being unprofessional as hell. Judgy McJudgerson, mind your fucking business, Julianne Moore’s father is dying! [ETA: ope, that’s embarrassing, Earl is actually her husband.]

NO THE DOG IS EATING THE PILLS OH NO VERY CONCERNED ABOUT THE DOG.

I think I knew this, but this soundtrack is fantastic. All Aimee Mann and Supertramp, and Jon Brion’s score is this thrumming, anxious thing full of strings that underscore all these nervous conversations, and then it shifts into these low, mournful horns when things start to take a turn and everyone is reaching their lowest points.

I love this interviewer (April Grace) who is taking Frank (Tom Cruise) to task. I think it’s particularly noteworthy that she is a black woman, because the kind of misogyny Frank peddles is rooted in white supremacy.

Stanley (Jeremy Blackman) is breaking my goddamn heart here. I think he and Phil (PSH) are my favorite characters.

Jim (John C Reilly) is the perfect example of how even a cop with the best intentions, with absolute kindness and love is in heart, is abusing his power and sexually harassing a woman he encountered in the line of duty, who is eager to appease him because she doesn’t want to be charged with a crime. This movie reads a LOT differently than it did in 1999.

I normally really love Julianne Moore, but she is a screeching mess in this. I can’t stop staring at her mouth and all the contortions it makes as she delivers every line in hysterics. She’s one of the few weak spots for me here.

Listening to Frank go on his whole diatribe about what society does to little boys to break them and victimize them HAS to be the source of where Keith Raniere got at least half of his NXIVM bullshit. Like, some of these points are word-for-word.

Also if Frank makes as much money as he seems to, there’s no way he would drive a shitty Saturn sedan.

It feels like the common thread of this movie is everyone is terrible and cheats on their spouses, and you should come clean when you get cancer so you can die peacefully. Weird moral, but ok.

If Jim is a cop, how does he not see that this woman he’s interested in (Melora Walters) is coked out of her mind?

Y’know for being a quiz kid, Donnie (William H. Macy) sure is kinda stupid.

I confess I’m not taking many notes throughout this because I’m just kind of sitting breathlessly still watching all these conversations unfold because I am on the edge of my fucking seat to find out how all this is gonna come together.

Secret MVP of this movie is the mom from A Christmas Story (Melinda Dillon) who is giving the performance of her goddamn life as Jimmy Gator’s wife.

Did I Cry? On the surface it appears ridiculous, but when Tom Cruise is having his breakdown at his dying father’s bedside, I admit, that really got me. If you’ve ever been faced with that kind of hysterical, I-can’t-believe-this-is-happening, it feels like the whole world is ending kind of shock and hurt and anger, that’s what the crying looks like.

Are those......frogs?? That landed on Jim’s car? It’s raining fucking frogs???? OK for those of you sensitive to frog harm, this movie is going to take a real hard left turn for you, because I swear that came out of NOWHERE.

Um.

What.

Pray tell.

The fuck.

The climax of this movie - is when literal frogs rain from the sky.

And we finally got resolution about the dog, and the dog DID die, and I’m pissed about it. It’s offscreen but still.

I'm sorry - I know I’m fixating. But how is it possible that I knew about all the characters performing a sing-along to Aimee Mann’s (excellent) song “Wise Up” but I did NOT know that the climax of the film involves literally thousands of frogs falling to their death from the sky? How is that something that escapes entry into the cultural zeitgeist? I’m with it, you guys. I have been Very Online for over a decade, and before that, I read a lot of Entertainment Weekly, and like it just seems that this is something that pop culture really should have told me.

I think the funniest moment of this movie might be the credits in which I discovered that not only is Luis Guzman playing a man named Luis, he’s actually playing himself. I don’t know why, but I can’t stop laughing about it. That was a 189-minute setup to one dumb punchline.

I think I loved this movie but I don’t quite know. The frog thing really threw me. What I’m taking away from it is that even when it doesn’t feel like it or seem like it, we are all connected to each other, always, in ways we can’t see or know. As Wife astutely pointed out, it’s reminiscent of the pandemic - we’re all in the same storm, but we each have our own boats and our own experiences within that storm. And it’s kind of nice to remember that right now, that connection still exists even when it feels so far away. Just not if you’re a frog I guess, cause they really got the short end of the stick here.

If you liked this review, please consider reblogging or subscribing to my Patreon! For as low as $1, you can access bonus content and movie reviews, or even request that I review any movie of your choice.

#121in2021 #magnolia #magnolia review #paul thomas anderson #tom cruise #julianne moore #phillip seymour hoffman #John C Reilly #william h macy #movie reviews #film reviews #patreon review

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karliesbuzzcut · 4 years

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When art really speaks to you, pt. 2: probably just a coincidence but idk

Disclaimer: all these theories are rabbit holes on their own, so trying to explain them in a couple of paragraphs is, automatically, doing them a disservice. Especially since I’m only going to be primarily addressing the part of the theory that focuses on the artist communicating with their public through their work.

Since I’ve already dedicated paragraphs to the introduction in part 1, let’s just jump into it.

Leonardo Da Vinci’s fuckton of theories.

Let’s start with the daddy of all conspiracies. After all, not many can gloat about their reachings becoming a movie starring Tom Hanks.

The thing with Da Vinci’s conspiracies is that there are so many of them, and they range from “maybe this is also a painting made by Da Vinci but he wasn’t credited because of reasons” to ALIENS. Which, I think, shows how different our interpretations of art can be, and how much it depends on an already established worldview.

But the most interesting part isn’t the conclusions, but how people look for clues. For example, just like people say Taylor Swift is obsessed with numbers or oranges (depending who you ask, I guess), Da Vinci was supposedly a big fan of reflections. So, if you want to decode his paintings you must mirror them... and then move then a little bit... there you go, you’ve just found yourself an alien...! Or a daemon...! Or someone wearing a funny hat! And that’s totally what he wanted us to find, right? Why else would he had shown any sort of interest in reflections if he didn’t want us to reflect everything!!

Shakespeare is an illusion... kinda, but yeah.

Personally, I think Kaylors would love to dig into this one. Sure, it doesn’t have many lesbians playing political spies. But it does involve a lot of literature analysis. Just like Kaylors don’t think a heterosexual woman could’ve written Taylor’s songs; some people (referred as anti-Stratfordians, thank you very much) don’t think someone from a lower class could’ve written Shakespeare’s plays.

Here’s the tea... the very cold tea: because Shakespeare was the son of a glover, anti-Stratfordians say he couldn’t have had the knowledge to write his plays. They, instead, come up with a list of “more suitable” writers that could’ve worked together. But they decided to keep their identities a secret because being a play writer, at that time, wasn’t respectable. Here, we will start noticing a trend with Conspiracy Theories: society, as a whole, can’t handle the truth, only a selected few. That’s where Francis Bacon comes in.

Francis Bacon was a very smart dude. He, also, worked for the state - giving him the credentials to be worthy of writing Shakespeare calibre plays. And also, also, he developed a method to conceal messages in the presentation of a text. To be able to do this, you would need to use two typefaces. Guess what has more than one typeface? Shakespeare’s plays.

I have to say - while I don’t believe either theory we have seen, they are somewhat understandable. We barely know anything about Shakespeare and Da Vinci beyond their work, so it’s normal that people are trying to figure out who they were; what did they believed in; where did they get all of their knowledge. We like theorising about the answers to these questions, knowing we’ll never get a confirmed truth. Not so the case with our next conspiracy...

Lewis Carroll was Jack the Ripper - someone had to be, right?

Now, allow me to fangirl all over this one. It combines my interests for conspiracy theories, true crime and pop-culture.

I’m assuming everyone here knows about Jack the Ripper: a serial killer who murdered at least 5 people (mainly prostitutes) in London, between the years 1888 and 1891. Well, someone looked at this and thought “you know what this murder-mystery is missing? Famous people”. Well, this theory says that the author of Alice in Wonderland did it He was the only celebrity living nearby at the time of the killings, so... 🤷‍♀️

This becomes a case of “I have already made up my mind about this issue, so I’m going to go ahead and search for proof that confirms it”. Authors and, now, internet sleuths went through his books, selected this random-ass excerpt from the nursery version of Alice and decided it was an anagram. And a crappy one at that. Supposedly, if you arrange the letters you get a detailed and gruesome confession. You, however, have to take away some letter and add others. Listen, I’m not an English major, but I’ve heard that’s cheating.

This theory also has that characteristic we mentioned: the “I don’t want to admit it out loud, so I’m going to come up with convoluted ways for my audience to figure it out” - which almost borders on psychotic behaviour. But at least it, somewhat, works with the serial killer narrative, you know? Not very much with Taylor, a woman who simply wants to chill with her girlfriend.

The moon landing was fake and directed by Stanley Kubrick.

I’m not going to dig into the moon landing conspiracy, this post is going to be long enough already. Just know that, when the USA government was planning to fake the whole thing, they had just watched ‘2001: A Space Odyssey’ and they were all like “that’s so cool! That’s how we want our fake moon landing to look!” So they contacted its director, Kubrick.

According to the theory, Kubrick felt really guilty afterwards but he couldn’t say anything about it because he signed an NDA? it would be dangerous, I guess. So he did the same thing Taylor would do decades later: he “spelled it out” for us on his work, under the excuse of “I didn’t explicitly said it, did I? My most intelligent and attractive fans just happened to figure it out for themselves”.

The movie ‘The Shinning’ has been analysed to shreds. Think ‘Look What You Made Me Do’ music video, but 2 hours and 26 minutes instead. There are many theories about its underlying theme, but we’re only focusing on the moon landing one. The biggest piece of evidence, according to believers, comes from that famous scene in the hallway. Basically, the kid, Danny, is on the floor playing and wearing an Apollo 11 sweater. He stands up = the rocket launches. He walks to Room N.237. Which is almost an anagram for MOON - but actually, a perfect anagram for MORON - I didn’t come up with that joke, I’m just sharing it. Anyway. In the book, the room number is 217 but Kubrick changed it to 237 because there are 237,000 miles between the Earth and the Moon... except that’s not exactly true, but this is their Kissgate, you see?

“Paul is Dead” aka “the granddaddy of Kaylor is Real”

Now, this is THE conspiracy theory. Kaylors would love to have the amount of evidence this theory has. Give them 50 years, they’ll get there.

Our story starts in 1966, Paul McCartney dies in a car accident. The British Government panics, “this will drive our teenagers into a massive suicide!” So they cover it up. They find this guy who looks like Paul and hire him to replace the original.

You might’ve only heard about those stores where pop-stars get their beards. But there’s also a branch that focuses on celebrity look-a-likes.

The rest of The Beatles went along with it (because that’s how these artists seem to operate, they’re always the victims of their circumstances) but they did not like it. So - you guessed it - they used their music, artwork, photo-shoots, etc. to communicate the truth. Faux-Paul might’ve felt a bit awkward about it, but he’s a nice chap and let the other guys work through their grief.

Kaylors might have agreed on blue being the colour of breaks up and yellow is for Karlie-Sunshine; but the Paul-truthers concluded white is the colour of heaven, jeans are for gravediggers and black for morticians... oh! And not wearing shoes means you’re dead. Taylor being near a door symbolises her leaving the closet; Paul being near an open trunk symbolises him being in a coffin. Is the letter K, for Karlie, surrounding Taylor? Well, there’s a 28IF in the plaques of a car, for Paul being 28 IF he hadn’t died. People hear a phantasmagorical “she” in ‘Call It What You Want’; just like people heard “I buried Paul” in ‘Strawberry Fields Forever’.

If you have never looked up this theory, I seriously recommend it. There are so many parallels with Kaylor. Here’s a 30 minute video, if you’re interested. It summarises the theory neatly while discussing the effects that these, seemingly innocent, conspiracies have on the way we absorb information.

Paul might be dead but 2pac is very much alive.

If I haven’t made it clear by now, I think it’s very deceptive to use a musician’s lyrics to back up your alternate version of events. As confessional as these verses can be, they’re still a form of art. Which, in terms of music lyrics, they need to follow certain parameters, as well as a desired sound. And, as many other forms of art, they might focus a bit more on transmitting a feeling, rather than an accurate portrayal of reality.

Why am I stopping to say all of this now? Well, because this specific theory relies a lot on Tupac’s lyrics.

A bit of context: In 1996, Tupac Shakur was shot 4 times while at a stoplight. He died from his injuries days later. While there are theories, to this day, no one knows who killed him. Unless you believe one of those theories, which claims no one did.

The believers of this theory cite Tupac’s lyrics to argue that he was explicitly telling his fans that he was going to fake his own death. Here are two examples:

I’ve been shot and murdered, can’t tell you how it happened word for word but best believe that n*****’ gonna get what they deserve. - Richie Rich’s N***** Done Change

I heard rumours that I died murdered in cold blood, traumatised pictures of me in my final states — you know mama cried. But that was fiction, some coward got the story twisted - Aint’ Hard 2 Find

Just like anti-Kaylors don’t necessarily oppose the idea of Taylor being gay; I bet the “antis” of this theory aren’t happy Tupac died and weren’t against his existence on the first place. It’s more of an argument about confusing your feelings with facts, just because they can be more comforting or exciting.

“Avril Lavigne is dead”... or “every artist you think is alive is, actually, dead and, the ones you think are dead, aren’t” I guess.

After everything we have seen, this one isn’t that interesting. The real Avril died in 2003, right after her first album. Her record label bought a new one. Proof? She says ‘dead’ in ‘My Happy Ending’, blah, blah. A poor man’s “Paul is Dead”.

I added it, mainly for the lulz, after the last entry, I needed them. But also because it all started with a blog. What’s hilarious is that the guy who created it admitted he only did it to show how gullible people are but, at that point, he had already convinced people about. The conspirators didn’t need him anymore. So they discarded him but not the Theory... which just reminds me a little too much of how TCG, HBH, Jennyboom &co. have been excommunicated from the Church of Kaylor.

Beyonce and Jay Z are members of the sexy sexy Illuminati.

I did not save the best for last. But maybe I’m just biased because the Illuminati theory bores me to death. However, if you allow me a bit of social criticism... remember how the Shakespeare Conspiracy started because a bunch of classicist people didn’t believe a lower class citizen could write such good plays? I think this one has a bit of that. I’d bet my life that this one started when a bunch of white dudes got super uncomfortable by black people being so talented and earning their successful.

What this Conspiracy shows, too, is the amplifying effect the internet has had on the proliferation of such theories. Most of the conspiracies I’ve mentioned were huge... but how were you supposed to communicate your ideas and add to the old ones, before the internet? You could publish a book. Talk about it at parties. And, at some point, there were internet forums but, still, you can’t compare that to how widespread Social Media is nowadays.

Today, we can watch someone ramble for 2 hours on YouTube about how Beyonce looks like a robot if you watch Single Ladies in reverse; read someone’s dissertation of ‘Apeshit’; or spend all night looking at those pictures where someone has drawn a red circle around anything that resembles a triangle.

It might look like a lot of evidence but that’s only because there are a lot of people very attached to this theory. Wanting - for whatever reason - for it to be true (perhaps because it would confirm that their fears about the world were well founded). And all those dozens or hundredths of people were working together to form as many patterns as possible.

Unfortunately we are going to keep talking about the Illuminati in Part 3 but also about Taylor, so that should be nice. Because - to the surprise of absolutely no one - there’s a bunch of people who also think they understand Taylor better than the rest. That they have figured out her secret codes and her ultimate message. Only, not all of those theories involve lesbian supermodels, so they aren’t as popular on Tumblr.

#Kaylor #conspiracy theory

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malaikoftaa · 4 years

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bye i have to do this because i read @blognotfound ‘s but whatever i’m bored anyways

1. think of the last person who said i love you, do you think they meant it?my brother lolol probably not

2. would you date an 18yr old at the age you are now? uh no

3. when was the last you were aggravated and happy at the same time? yesterday

4. would you ever smile at a stranger? yes i would

5. is there someone mad bc you’re dating or talking to the person you are? i’m single as hell so no

6. have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today? nah

7. what exactly are you wearing right now? running shorts and a shirt from my temple

8. how often do you listen to music? the real question is : when do i not listen to music?

9. do you wear jeans or sweats more? sweats

10. do you think your life will change dramatically before 2014? it... has??

11. are you a social or antisocial person? it depends on how well i know you

12. have you ever kissed someone who’s name begins with the letter a? nope

13. what about the letter r? nope

14. can you drive a stick shift? ahahahahhahahaha funny joke no

15. do you care if people talk badly about you? not really

16. are you going out of town soon? nope

17. when was the last time you cried? yesterday because i’m dramatic asf

18. have you ever told someone you loved them? platonically yeah

19. if you could change your eye color, would you? mm maybe a few shades lighter than it is

20. is there a boy who you would absolutely everything for? yes my guy bsf

21. name something you dislike about the say you’re having. my mom’s listening to despacito yikes

22. is it cute when guys kiss you on the forehead? yeahhh

23. are you dating the last person you talked to? no because that would be incest and uhm ew

24. what are you sitting on rn? my bed

25. does anybody regularly tell you they love you? platonically yes

26. have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have? yes

27. who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night? my best friend

28. do you get a lot of colds? nah

29. where is the shirt you’re wearing from? my temple

30. does anyone hate you? lol yeah

31. do you have empty alcohol bottles hidden in your room? no because i’m 13

32. do you like watching scary movies? yeah

33. do you wanna get your tongue pierced? ouch no

34. if you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be? 2017

35. did you have a dream last night? yeah i went to chick fil a with margot robbie and we talked about leonardo dicaprio :)

36. when was the last time you told someone you love them? uh 2 days back

37. do you think you’ll be married in 5 years? uh please no

38. do you think someone has feelings for you? idk man

39. do you think someone is thinking of you rn? maybe?

40. did you have a good day yesterday? it was alright

41. think back 2 months ago. were you in a relationship? nope

42. in the next 48 hrs, will you hang out with a girl? my mom yeah

43. has anyone told you they don’t ever wanna lose you? yeah

44. what’s the best part about school? lunch 👅

45. do you have any pictures on your facebook? i don’t even have fb in the first place

46. do you ever pass notes to your friends in school? yeah during tests because they all ask me for answers smh

47. do you replay things that happen in your head? omg yeah things from like 4 years back

48. were you single last summer? yes i was

49. is anything in your life like it was 2 years ago? not really no

50. what are you supposed to be doing rn? reading a book

51. do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with? it depends

52. are you nice to everyone? lol nope

53. have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to? yeah yikes

54. did you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat? yeah because i’m a nice person

55. are you good at hiding your feelings? depends

56. do you think you like someone? leonardo dicaprio yeah

57. have you ever kissed someone who’s name starts with j? nope

58. do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys? both

59. has anyone of your friends ever seen you cry? yeah because i got reallyyyyyy shitty period cramps in class once

60. do you hate anyone? depends on how you define hate

61. how’s your heart? alright

62. is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about? yes way too many

63. have you ever cried over a guy? no

64. who is probably talking a load of crap about you rn? uh my ex bsf who lives across the road isn’t that great

65. are your toenails painted pink? nope

66. will your next kiss be a mistake? uh that’d also be my first so idk maybe? i hope not tho

67. do girls love it when their bfs cry? uh no

68. have your pants ever fallen down in public? my kilt has while playing field hockey but i was wearing shorts underneath so its fine

69. who was the last person you were on the phone with? my bestfriend

70. how do you look rn? nasty

71. do you have someone you can be your complete self around? yeah most people unless you’re a total psycho

72. can you commit to one person? yeah

73. do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to? yeah

74. have you ever felt replaced? so so so many times

75. did you wake up cranky? nope

76. are you a jealous person? sometimes

77. are relationships ever worth it? haven’t been in one but i mean they should be worth it

78. anyone you’re giving up on? lolz my brother

79. currently wanting to see anyone? @kalenahaimm GET YOUR ASS OUTTA JAPAN AND BACK IN NJ PLEASE

80. name something you have to do tomorrow. uh eat?

81. last person you cried in front of? my mom

82. is there someone you’ll never forget? yep

83. do you think the person you have feelings for is protective of you? no cuz he don’t know me he’s a celebrity

84. if the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing rn? eating :)

85. are you over your past? nope

86. have you ever liked one of your best friends of the opposite sex? uhh yeah that was a disaster

87. is there anyone you can tell EVERYTHING to? yeah

88. if your fist true love knocked on your door with an apology and presents would you accept? no because that’d mean he stalked me al; the way from ohio to nj and that’s weird

89. so the last person you kissed just happens to arrive at your door at 3am, do you let them in? a ghost. sure.

90. have you ever liked someone who your friends hates? yeah

91. will you be in a relationship in 2 months? doubt it

92. is there anyone you know with the name michael? my neighbor

93. have you ever kissed a matthew? nope

94. were you in a relationship in january? how was it going? nope

95. were you happy with the person you liked in march? i don’t think i liked anyone in march?

96. is the last person you texted attractive? yes she’s pretty

97. who do you have texts from? my 2 bsfs, my cousin, and a family friend

98. if the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say? “that’s great”

99. have you ever kissed someone older than you? nope

100. who’s in your pfp with you? uhh no one

101. ever kissed under fireworks? nope y’all really be making me feel single asf huh

102. has anybody ever given you butterflies? duh

#if you see this you gotta do it #sorry not sorry ahaha

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