#lately it's just been worse

[knightofleo]

Awww ¡me alegraste la noche!

Hace muchos años borré mi blog por algunos problemitas y perdí todos mis seguidos. Entonces estuve buscando mucho tiempo tu blog, porque ¡me encantaba! Y recordaba que era Knight... Pero más nada, y ahora te encuentro luego de tantos años. 🥺🥺

I don't speak spanish/portugese so I had to google translate this, but I'm glad you found your way back! If I understood that right. Hope you're doing well!

#if you even follow me anymore ff i think i got this three months ago #spanish wasn't even an option where I grew up tbh #it was french or german or get the fuck out #tiny-ass hamlet school on a budget feat. three municipalities worth of students with no time for any single one #a whole mess #again i'm sorry for the late response #we've been having technical issues #not gotta get into the whyse and the whose but while the whole communication business has never been an easy thing #lately it's just been worse #🤷

[ahhrenata]

I’m having an ‘oh’ moment while you bandage my hand, man

MY THOUGHTS FOR THIS ONE ARE IN THE TAGS :)

#steddie #steddie fanart #eddie munson #steve harrington #its late.. or early depending how you look at it #neither of them have been sleeping much or spending time on their own #the nightmares you know #an especially brutal one has eddie a little out of it #his bandages (from injuries that could have been worse) have become loose or soiled from his restless night #so steve sits him down and helps fix them up #he can see eddies still shaken so he just.. talks #about anything really #and eddie slowly comes back to himself #and now he’s just looking at steve.. who’s huffing out a laugh at whatever he’s said.. smiling at the memory of it #eyes crinkling at the corners and thats when it kind of hits #the ‘oh’ #not an ‘oh shit’ this time but a simple ‘oh’ #a happy one for now too #because he is.. happy. he’s not alone.. he doesn’t have to be.. and Steve’s showing him that #through late night talks.. matching dark circles and grounding touches #with stories and music and late night drives #and thats enough.. more than really #he’s at the tipping point.. knows the fall will be coming in the next few weeks- maybe months #but he doesn’t care #not when steve finally looks up at him… wide eyed and cradling eddies hand between two of his.. soft smile on his face and asks ‘you ok?’ #and when eddie (who’s a little misty eyed) smiles back and replies ‘all good’ #right here.. in this moment- he really is #:) #THANKS FOR VOTING FOR IT

[greatestjubilee]

bleh

#hi all. lucy here #i have barely been drawing lately because ive just been unable to #like i feel like i lost my spark. i dunno #i used to draw so much and make so many comics when i was absolute rock bottom mentally #like the funnier i was the worse i was doing #ive been better lately but i truly feel like ive almost sacrificed my ability to draw or create stuff for some more mental stability #i just....i dont know. i feel like i can't do anything i used to do with art. like im not funny or have no ideas or just think stuff like #oh ill just draw this because people will wanna see it #but i gave that up because not even i wanna see it anymore #i hope that i can feel like drawing again one day i just dont know how to get it back. it really feels like ive lost a major part of myself #this is my rambling here just to let you know i am still around just kind of laying low because im drained

[angelhummel]

My absolute least favorite flavor of anti is “canon doesn’t actually justify my immense hatred of this character, so I’m going to make up bad things they did, pretend it’s canon, then get mad over that” like bestie chill just say you don’t vibe with them and move onnn 

#i dont understand who has the energy #yes this is about blaine lmao #its not enough to say i dont like him and move on #gotta come up with 193742 false claims and pretend they're real #just to give myself something else to get mad over #like okay honey this is very un normal please seek help #he's not real alskfjslk #this is also about mal from d3scendants aalskfjskldf people have been weird over there lately too #is there anything you do like? can you focus on that? #actually in mal's case it's kind of justified lmao which makes it all the worse that they feel they have to make shit up

[magnetothemagnificent]

Non-ADHD and non-autistic disabled people whose only idea of ADHD and autistic people is shaped by media depictions of a nerdy white boy or a quirky goth girl with low support needs: "Yeah ADHD and autism are destigmatized and we should ignore people with ADHD and autism in favor of real disabilities. I am very smart and progressive."

Lateral prejudice towards other disabled people will get us nowhere.

#actually disabled #ableism #lateral ableism #autistic people face disproportional police violence #especially if they're not white #I know people who have been severely hurt socially financially and mentally because of their adhd and/or autism #there's a literal anti-vax movement of people who think autism is worse than polio and measles and shit #adhd and autism are not destigmatized #just because a handfull of privileged adhd and/or autistic people managed to succeed and mask very well #doesn't mean that's the majority of the adhd and/or autistic experience #there's a reason autism was classed as a schizophrenic disorder for a long time #because the outward symptoms of autism and schizophrenia can be very similar #parents of adhd and autistic kids talk openly about wanting to murder their children and some even succeed in doing so #and people sympathize with them #autism and adhd can manifest in auditory processing disorders and communication disorders #which to a non-professional appear indistinguishable from physical hearing impairements and neurological disabilities #adhd symptoms can be so similar to brain cancer that I know someone who died because his cancer was caught so late #actually autistic

[thatsonehellofahabit]

oneyplays giving me just a bearable amount of brain damage,age

#just finished their hitman2 videoaaaaoouugh #been feeling so unwell lately and watching oneyplays is making it ten times worse #anyways I need to go for a walk or something #get some of that fresh LA air #oneyng #psychicpebbles #joshua tomar #spazkid #oney plays #thatsonehellofanart

[sesamenom]

Quick hand sketch that turned into elrond with athelas water

I always forget to draw him with it but I headcanon him having pretty bad burn scars on his right arm/side from the kinslaying

#silm #silmarillion #lotr #elrond #also hc that elros burned his left hand pulling elrond out of the fires #which is why elrond became a healer in the first place #even up to the third age he still has to rinse it w athelas water once in a while #bc maedhros' fire-fea may or may not have been making the fire a lot worse than it would have been naturally #hes not /actively/ influencing the fire but him just being there is not exactly helping the situation #elrond only really heals Shadow-wounds by the late TA #bc they have other healers for smaller stuff that dont necessarily need the attention of a part-maiarin legendary healer #and in the war of the ring theres enough people that he needs to focus on tending to the most grievously wounded #kind of like those super specialized surgeons #but hes actually better w burns #the first thing he healed was elros' burnt hand (with some help from maglors song he regained almost full use of it) #later he helped soothe maglor's silmaril burns #but during the war hes needed the most for treating the Shadow because hes like one of two people in the world who can properly use athelas #aragorn taking frodo to rivendell was basically like those cases when a patient gets helicoptered to a specific hospital #to see a specific surgeon about a really rare/difficult/dangerous procedure

[mitamicah]

Happy last day of April :3 (and Autism acceptance month); since we started the month of with cats I thought it would only be fitting ending it with cats as well x'D

A little treat to @j-restlessgeek and other Jure girlies (gn) :3

#I wasn't sure if posting two things on the same day was smart but tbh my art has not been doing too well lately #so it probably can't do much worse x'D #and in the end I draw these silly sketches mostly because its fun either way #you liking them is “just” a bonus ^V^ #jure maček #joker out #mine #my own art

[screamingfrenchfries]

u can call me crazy all u want but after rewatching bbc sherlock and ignoring basically all outside input, i'm talking i just watched the show w no memory of anything but source material, johnlock was lowkey canon. i mean those bitches were living together raising a kid by the end of the series and ur gonna tell me they weren't gay???? 🤨🤨

#like just bc they didn't kiss doesn't mean they weren't in love #i mean they literally SAY that they love e/o is that not enough #like idk why some johnlockers didn't like the ending it could've gone so much worse #ignoring the whole irene situation ig but in my mind sherlock reached out to her bc they r platonically in love :( #mlm wlw solidarity n all that jazz #johnlock #am i like 7 years late to the party?? #yeah #but for some reason when i first watched sherlock back in like 2018 i thought that the show had been out for a while #and that i was already too late for the party #which i mean #i WAS kinda late. but not as late as i am to making this post lmao

[chvoswxtch]

every time I rewatch season three of daredevil i’m reminded what a bitchy little gremlin matty is

and why I relate to him so hard

#he’s just like me fr #except i’m not as big of a dumbass #I do dabble in dumbassery #but not that much #I love my bitchy lil gremlin #brooding on rooftops like a fucking gargoyle #dropping the most emo one liners you’ve ever heard and dipping #showing up to be a complete menance fifteen minutes late with an iced coffee #I love one actual human disaster matthew michael murdock #also maggie and father lantom being completely over matt’s shit never gets old #they’ve been dealing with his ass for almost 30 years and he just keeps getting worse LMAO #matt murdock #daredevil #court rambles #court pls shut the fuck up

[sodabranch]

Ummm huhhh um

I made a guy,,, its name is Justice and you can learn more about it in its toyhouse profile <-(HUGE WIP) BUT I won't mind gushing about it on here if someone is interested ¿¿¿???,,, my mental illness is showing im sorry

#lethal company #lethal company nutcracker #lethal company oc #soda art #my guys #this drawing is kinda wonky but I will be making more art later it's just too late already and I gotta zZz #dropping it and running #I've been playing lethal for days on end I need to chew on someone #thank you mosaic for making me worse #edit: if you saw the typo no you didnt

[pcktknife]

i am always filled with so much dread

#kae.txt #when i was 13 i used to lie awake in bed thinking about climate change and disastrous weather phenoma and i would just lie there in silence #and fear and uncertainty and any night it was hotter than like a cool 65-70F id just get even worse cause it felt like everything would be #immediate and there was nothing i could do about it and i was suicidal then too but i didnt wanna die in whatever climate based death #id conjur up in my mind and then thatd make me wanna die even more bc the only way to avoid a tragedy like that in my mind was to not be #there for the tragedy when it happened #anyways im full of dread #a different thing im not worried about the weather right now i havent been scared like that in a while #it feels silly to share but i want it off my chest and out of my head and its too late to talk to anyone

[another-clive-blog]

Why are we as a fandom not talking more about this scene ??

Clive is literally asking the professor to come back and stop him. Like this isn't him pretending to be Future Luke : he looks genuinely upset/displeased even after the professor promises to come back. He only goes back to smiling after the professor says, and I quote "I wouldn't dream of leaving things here in that state" before talking about stopping his future self. Clive wants confirmation that Layton is actually going to confront the bad guys, that he won't just solve the mystery but fix it too.

And this is literally so important. Clive's speech at the end, about getting saved. This is concrete proof that he had truly meant it from the start, because he's asking for Layton to stop him and thus save everyone here. Which, hey- he didn't just hope and wait to get saved, he tried to save himself too.

Yep, that's right. The game talks about how dangerous it was for Clive to bring Layton underground : it doesn't talk about how even more dangerous it was to let him leave. He could have brought back cops (he did). He could have gathered precious knowledge out there (he did). He could have never come back (and yet he did !!). Clive letting Layton leave is the biggest threat to his plan, and yet HE DID. And you know what else he did ? Make Layton promise to stop him. You can't make a clearer call for help, you just can't.

"Oh but it doesn't make his crimes more forgivable, now does it-" of course not. This isn't about Clive's redemption, it's about Clive trying to avoid needing a redemption : his efforts are vain the moment he started using the fortress. But. There were efforts.

#Damn Syl ! Back at it again with the nonsense/stating the obvious !! <3 #Actually nope I don't care. I know how it feels when your self is working to achieve a goal your essence is actively against. #You just feel TERRIBLE. Shouldn't I give in ? I want to give in. It feels wrong but fighting it feels even worse. I'm tired #This exchange is so important. The despair. Asking for help when he knows at that point he's not getting saved it's too late #Like he's been working on the mecha he knows it's done he knows he's starting it. He knows Layton will be his enemy #And yet he still asks him to fix things. He still lets him go when Layton would have understood if it wasn't possible #It's about Clive asking/trusting Layton to keep the fight going and win even when Clive himself knows he can't keep fighting #I feel like I'm repeating myself. It's 2am and I'm sleepy ahah but I needed to get this one out <3 #clive dove #professor layton and the unwound future #professor layton and the lost future #unwound future spoilers #lost future spoilers #My analysis #(Scheduling this one to post when I'm sleeping. I wonder how this one will go lol)

[hella1975]

hiiii haha. hello. exceptionally awkward introduction bc idrk how to start something like this so let's just jump right in. im taking a break from this account for a bit. i know i said i wanted taob out before halloween and currently im fine sticking with that deadline, but if i decide i need longer away then i will take longer away. every time ive reassured people that id never abandon a fic and updates will always come eventually i never once considered that my writing and ability to feel safe and comfortable on this site would be actively taken from me, so im not even going to apologise. i dont want this either and more importantly i dont fucking deserve it. i dont know what it is in the past year, if ive hit a certain amount of followers or 'popularity' that's made it so the natural ratio of positive to negative interactions must in turn go up, but there's been a serious uptick in weird asks for me. the annoying part is that a very small amount of them are actually objectively mean and hateful, the rest are just weird and invasive from people who seemingly dont realise that's what they're being. ive reached a point where i dont care if the intentions are good. it's not my job as a 20 year old tumblr user of all things to defend the morality of someone who couldnt even bother to come off anon. unfortunately, after blocking only one or two anons, the weird asks have decreased substantially, which says all you need to know about the fascinating and exhilarating lives led by these people, but ive also gone on to turn anon asks off entirely. this is something i actively fought against doing and had to be pushed into by my mutuals (who have been the coolest people on planet earth during this entire thing). turning off anon was a big deal to me even if it sounds silly. i felt betrayed and like id been backed into a corner because it was so vehmently something i DIDNT WANT that to feel like i had to do it anyway for my own mental health??? that sucks. so even though ive 'fixed' the problem, im still kind of reeling and uncomfortable every time i come on tumblr. i hope it's just something i need time to ease because i'll truly be devastated if this becomes 'ruined' for me. tumblr exists as the only place in the world where i am honestly every facet of myself without shame or hesitation; losing that would be insanely harmful to me. and to the people who cant appeal to the actual human behind the post, let me put that in words you can understand: we wouldn't get any more writing 😦😦😦 riots and fires and sirens, i know. so yeah. to anyone who has sent me an anon ask and you're now wondering if you were part of the problem, im firmly of the belief that you'll know if you are. when i say 'weird asks' i dont mean 'you sent me a para about your personal life just to vent or ask for advice' or 'you sent me a really deep emotional compliment about the impact me and/or my writing has had on you' - i love asks like that, so much that i put off taking a break and turning off anon solely for the joy they bring me. im sorry that it might feel like you're being punished too bc of the actions of what in reality is a HANDFUL of weird people, but this is what i feel like i have to do to feel safe and not go insane every time i log in. love you guys, hopefully ill see you soon x

#seriously another shout out to my mutuals #id particularly like to say thank you to boom who's always right there for me no matter what's happening or how insane im being #and also everyone in our little discord that wound up having to make a whole new channel for venting #bc i was there so often like 'today's weird ask isssss.... telling me about my cupsize!! rip them to shreds!!!' #hannah and theo especially being there and pushing me to finally turn off anon. war is truly over #and of course rori bc the shamelessness u show when hating on my anon asks has been genuinely really cathartic #sometimes u really do just need a rottweiler mutual to tell random people online to kill themselves 😭 #okay weird oscar acceptance speechcore gratitude over. i do just rlly love my mutuals #like i went three years not telling anyone about the worse side of internet popularity for fear of looking spoiled and ungrateful #so for the first time to open up about it and be met with outrage on my behalf and people saying in fact it's MORE fucked up #than i initially realised bc ive grown desensitised to it is. yeah cathartic i guess #they are singlehandedly reassuring me of the good this cursed app still holds #so everyone thank them and send them flowers NOW #okay im done i think. see you guys soon. i truly do want to come back asap bc like i said i NEVER EVEN WANTED TO FUCKING LEAVE #SOME ASSHOLES JUST HAD TO PUT GRENADES ON WHAT I ASSUMED WERE VERY UNIVERSAL AND OBVIOUS BOUNDARIES #if you're reading this like 'ohhh fuck i defo sent something invasive lately. i thought it was a joke/we were friends' #then 1) we arent friends if you're on anon. it immediately creates a power imbalance where you know me and any necessary context #but i have no idea who you are or how much you know about me. that's already a fucked dynamic #and 2) I HOPE YOU FEEL BAD. LIKE GENUINELY I HOPE YOU FEEL AWFUL AND HAVE A GOOD LONG LOOK AT YOURSELF #okay i think that's all. ta-ra lads??? how tf do u end something like this #ive queued this to reblog a couple more times throughout the day

[puppyeared]

Jitterbug

#whenever my meds kick in it feels like im gonna piss myself. not literally but its really really feels like it #and now whenever that happens my mind goes back to pancho (grandmas dog) at a xmas party years ago #bc he peed when we arrived bc he was so excited to see ppl and my cousin had to clean it up :o) #well for better or for worse i know that feeling now when im pumped on 20mg of adderall #im still getting used to this whole diagnosis thing cause ive gone untreated and undiagnosed for the longest time. so theres probably a lot #i still dont know and have to learn to get myself to be.. functional on my own? self managing???? #i even set up reminders on my phone for work periods meals and stuff. but the problem is actually getting myself to stick to that to a T #because the minute i slack off or something gets in the way it throws it all off until i can be bothered to get back on track. it sucks #at least ive built up other habits like writing notes and setting alarms ahead of time.. but i feel like i could do better #its always hard to change something if youve been doing it wrong for the longest time. especially behaviour and thinking patterns. sigh #in other news my glasses bailed on me so i have to get a new pair sometime. i just realized i never draw my sona with glasses but thats #mostly bc i forget. id love to get some browline glasses like my old pair but im picky and its hard to find one id like for the next 5 year #i also finally managed to collect all the fish in my animal crossing file!!! pulled out a char last week and boom now i have a poster :o) #THAT was a moment where i almost peed myself for real. id love to get all the bugs but i cant stay up late on the switch :o( #yapping #my art #myart #doodles #personal #diary

[gojosattoru]

hello everyone, hope you are doing alright! i'm doing this post to say that i won't be online for some time... i think my depression has come back and since this sunday my health hasn't been good.. i've been feeling very down, always with emotional crisis, crying and with no energy to do anything.. so i will be on semi-hiatus for a some time. only coming to queue some stuff.. i'm so sorry for being so absent guys.. wish you the best! thank you!

#personal #tw depression #i'm not feeling too good #sorry... #i just want to curl up on bed and do absolutely nothing #just want to disappear TT ~ TT #i even told my boss to hold up on illustrations a bit... #i haven't got inpiration.. #i have been feeling down lately #but this week it's been worse and difficult for me #sorry for anything guys! #stay well and safe