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greyias · 1 year

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I wish you would write a fic where... Theron somehow amasses a following of actual, physical porn bots droids and shenanigans ensue

I saw this prompt come in and devolved into a fit of heinous cackling. How, oh how could I resist trying to render our collective Tumblr nightmare into fictional text form?

Context: While not required reading, this is technically a sequel to this stunning crackfic, authored so long ago. If you need a refresher on the Medical Droid Love Triangle Saga, follow this link. Or this one, which is the real villain origin story of this fic. Or don't, you're already cursed if you click beyond the read more of this post.

With special thanks to @grumpyhedgehog, @sandwyrm, @storyknitter, @kitsonpaws, and @andveryginger for providing me with ideas, cursed pornbot summaries, and many cursed HoloNet websites that should never exist. You are not required to read any of this.

Technically rated T, but in reality rated N for Nobody, because no one should have to read this. I'm packing my bags, as my ride to superhell just came. Enjoy.

It had started as such a normal day -- if you could indeed have called any day on Odessen “normal”. What with the galaxy always being at the brink of some disaster or another, and their merry little band of misfits being led by the galaxy’s most notorious do-gooder, Theron’s schedule and to-do list had a tendency to get derailed on almost a daily basis.

This, however, was not how that usually happened.

He’d paused, mid-step, finger still hovering over his datapad, mid-entry as the hairs on the back of his neck stood on end, slowly dawning horror washing over him. His head turned slowly, like one of those doomed characters in a horror holofilm to look at the droid he’d just passed.

It was one of the new ones that had come in on a recent shipment. So new in fact, that there was still a fleet of them in the middle of being unpacked in the Logistics Wing. Shining, tall and blue, its highly polished quadranium head pivoted to look back at him.

“What,” Theron swallowed, willing his voice to sound even and not give in to the creeping dread, “what did you say?”

“Theron Shan,” the droid repeated helpfully, “is a master lover.”

“Oh no.” The words slipped out of their own accord.

“Just a moment, sir,” the droid continued, seemingly oblivious to the human’s distress, “I’m not quite done with your evaluation yet. Let’s see, where were we?”

“No no no no.”

The round flattened dome that served as its head tilted to one side, beady orange eyes sweeping over Theron from head to toe, before resuming its cheery, if horrifying report. “Subject is an exemplary specimen. In good cardiovascular health, above average muscle tone. Tall, well-built, and very clean...”

“Um,” Theron stammered. “I’m...” Flattered? Taken? Leaving? Wait--yes, that last one. “Going now!”

He didn’t give the cursed machine any more time to continue ogling him, instead taking off down the hall at a very brisk walk that nearly bordered on a jog. His mind raced at he beat a hasty retreat, trying to understand what was happening. It had been over a year since the The Incident, dubbed by some as the “Sexy Spy Virus”, and others by much more crude names, where a little harmless reprogramming had taken on a life of its own. Theron had been meticulous in his coding of the antivirus, wanting to ensure that the entire debacle would be forgotten. There was simply no way that it could crop back in on its own.

“Theron,” the brisk accented tone of one Lana Beniko burst in over his comm, “why did a droid just feel the need to inform me that they found rust on its insides during its last tune-up?”

“I don’t know,” Theron insisted, but his words were almost drowned out by a metallic clanking echoing down the corridor.

He threw a look over his shoulder, and to his horror, saw that his robotic admirer had decided to give chase.

“I’m going to have to call you back,” he quickly said into the comm as the droid picked up speed from a walk to an all out gallop.

“Theron,” she sounded both concerned and exasperated, which, considering Lana, was about par the course, “what’s going on?”

“Save me!” He shouted as he took off a dead sprint.

In his many years in the field, Theron had been threatened, sure. Shot at? Many times. He’d been drugged. Tortured. Stabbed through the gut with a lightsaber pike and lived to tell the tale. He’d run into Sith, Revanites, bounty hunters, thugs, fanatics and cultists alike. He’d been in more firefights than he could remember, and more covert ops than he cared to. He’d even been accused of being a traitor (although that was kind of the point at the time).

None of that compared right now to being chased down by a droid yelling at top volume claiming he was the best lover it had ever seen.

And this time, he was pretty sure it wasn’t actually his fault.

He rounded the corner from the corridor leading from the Logistics Wing, passing by the Commander’s (and at this point, his) Quarters. HK-55 and Z0-0M straightened to their full height at his arrival. Oh thank the Force, allies.

“Salutations: Agent Shan, you are looking quite spry today.”

“What?” he panted as he approached.

“Yes, Agent Shan, don’t believe what anyone else is saying!” Zeeyo exclaimed, throwing her arms into the air. “Your undercarriage doesn’t look rusty at all!”

Mind sharp as a tack, Theron realized the implications of this just in time, and dodged to the side, ducking and rolling as the assassin-turned-bodyguard droid lunged forward to trap him in a bear hug. Not pausing to even catch his breath, as soon as his feet hit the ground he propelled himself forward and further down the hall.

“Frustration: I only wish to profess my admiration for you, Agent Shan!”

“Nope nope nope nope!” Desperation was starting to tinge the edges of his words now.

The metallic clanking intensified as more droids behind him joined in the chase, all of their vocabulators joining in unison to tell him in one way, or another, that he was in fact, the pinnacle of sexual prowess.

Theron couldn’t run forever, despite whatever their programming was forcing them to say, his stamina would give out before the lustftul droids’ power supplies. As the corridor zigged and twisted, he saw an opening in the form of a door sliding open. Without hesitation he dove in, shoving the individual there, thankfully made of flesh and bone, aside as he slammed the door controls.

The door slid securely shut just as the thunderous clanking filled the corridor beyond, their lustful words of appreciation and encouragement nearly drowned out by the racket. Theron hadn’t bothered to look or count, but he was pretty sure that the number had risen from three in the scant moments it had taken Theron to dart from one corridor to the next.

He held up a hand to his lips as he turned to thank the person who had unwittingly provided his temporary salvation. The words of gratitude died on his lips, as he realized exactly who’s room he had sought refuge in.

For a moment, Theron truly considered surrendering himself to the lusty droid mob.

Draike Highwind’s face was caught somewhere between confusion and amusement, but the latter was winning out as he started to decipher individual phrases drifting in from the corridor. A dark brow arched higher, lips twitching with undisguised mirth as the stupid blue droid that had started this whole mess yelled once again about Theron being a master lover.

More seconds passed, the ruckus quieting down, before silence descended once more, and it was finally safe to speak.

“So,” Draike drew out the word, somehow lacing it with more innuendo than all of the malfunctioning droids combined, “what ya been doing, Shan?”

“Nothing!” he insisted, voice still hushed just in case one of the droids could somehow hear.

“Doesn’t sound like nothing.” His brother-in-law’s smirk widened into an almost feral grin, eyebrows waggling. “Sounds like you’ve been getting... busy.”

One of the greatest mysteries in the galaxy was how one man could make anything sound that dirty. “I was minding my own business!”

“Oh, I bet you were.”

“You’re having way too much fun with this.”

“I mean...” If looks could kill, the pilot would have melted on the spot. Unfortunately for Theron, Draike was apparently immune to that sort of thing. “How often do I get the chance?”

“Did you do this?”

“Me?” Draike let out a sharp bark of laughter. “Stars, I wish I could have thought of something this good! These are memories I will cherish forever.”

Theron massaged the bridge of his nose. “I hate my life.”

“I mean, I’m not really into droids,” Draike went on, either not knowing (or more likely caring) about his brother-in-law’s predicament, “flesh is more my kind of thing. But you know, if you and the little lady need to spice things up by bringing in a little metal--”

“Please stop. I’m begging you!”

“Begging, eh? So you’re saying you’re more into--“

“Forget it, I’m taking my chances with the sex-crazed machines roaming the halls.” His palm hovered over the door sensors.

“Theron, wait!” There was enough urgency in Draike’s voice to give him pause. “It’s dangerous out there, take this.”

At first, he was honestly afraid to look, expecting to be offered something like a condom or some other bad joke, but was surprised to see the other man holding out a stealth generator.

“To escape your fans.”

“That’s actually not a bad idea.”

“I know. I’m a genius.”

“I didn’t say that.” He quickly nabbed the stealth generator before Draike could change his mind and frowned at the initials carved in the side in Aurabesh. “Is this even yours?”

“Eh, close enough.”

Whatever, beggars couldn’t be choosers. Theron would deal with those potential repercussions later. He flicked on the power to the stealth generator which let out a low, almost inaudible hum as a burst of life engulfed his form. He closed his eyes against the sudden burst of brightness, and when he opened them again, dark spots of the light pattern danced in his vision for a few seconds. He blinked a few more times before they faded away.

He waved an arm experimentally in front of his face, and only felt the slight movement of air. Draike didn’t seem to react at all, and that was probably good enough.

“Thanks,” he said, palming the sensor to the door.

Draike rolled his eyes and ambled out into the corridor, looking around with the air of a man all too used to hiding from those looking for him. Theron watched as he raised a hand to a very slowly moving GNK power droid.

“How’s it hanging?”

“GONK!”

“Oh yeah? You don’t say! I think I saw him head that way.” Draike pointed in the direction leading to cantina. “Just between you and me, I heard he’s sweet on that droid who’s a comfort enthusiast.”

“GONK! GONK! GONK!”

Still hidden underneath the stealth field, Theron had to bite down the urge to make any noise of frustration and just turned an invisible, irritated gaze at the other man’s back. As if sensing Theron’s irritation, Draike just grinned wider.

“Yeah, you know how those spy types are. Always toying with droids’ hearts. You could do better than him.”

“GONK!”

“Oh, you spicy droid! Yeah, trundle off that way, big guy. I’m sure you’ll catch him!”

With a loud clanking, the GNK droid began his slow and steady journey towards the cantina. As the echoes finally faded, Draike casually stretched, pointing towards the direction of the War Room.

Theron skulked on by, but not before giving his brother-in-law a well deserved whop upside the head. The stealth field flickered momentarily on the physical contact before shimmering back into place.

“It’d serve you right to get caught by doing that,” Draike sniffed indignantly, “after all I’ve done to help you.”

“When all of this is over--”

“Hush now,” Draike waved at the air in front of him. “You have bigger problems to deal with. Meanwhile, I will be heading to the cantina. And definitely won’t be live-streaming any brawls breaking out over the Master Lover breaking droid hearts everywhere.”

Theron snorted out an annoyed breath, and checked his urge to trip Draike as he sauntered off, hands jammed into his pockets as he whistled a jaunty tune. Like the purloined stealth generator, he’d have to worry about slicing and corrupting any servers containing evidence of this mess after he figured out how to stop whatever this was from spreading any further.

The upside to this whole unfortunate side encounter, was that the stealth generator made it possible for him to quietly creep around any droids he passed in the corridor. Most seemed to be making a hasty exit for the cantina, almost as if word had spread of Drake’s false rumor about his and C2-N2’s torrid love affair and every heartbroken circuit was flocking in that direction now.

And when he thought about it like that, when exactly had this become his life? Oh, right. Like fifteen minutes ago. Or however long this nightmare had started. Time had sort of lost meaning, if he were being honest.

He managed to make it to the war room, undetected and unmolested, and quietly snuck his way towards the irritable blonde Sith, holding her head in her hands as if she were battling the world’s strongest migraine. As Theron approached the Sith, he could hear her muttering under her breath in frustration. He hesitated for a moment before clearing his throat, causing her to jerk her head up in surprise.

“Who’s there?”

“Quiet,” Theron hissed. “They might hear you.”

“Oh, for Sith’s sake,” she exhaled, “where in the blazes have you been?”

“Hiding,” he whispered urgently. “These droids have all gone haywire!”

“And who’s fault is that, I wonder.”

“Not me,” he insisted, “not this time!”

“Right,” she said sardonically, “and I suppose that’s why there isn’t a reality holoseries entitled ‘Programmed for Love’ currently being live-streamed in the cantina for the entire HoloNet to see.”

“Damn it, Draike!” Theron cursed. “I thought he was joking about that.”

“Of course. How did I not see that coming?” she muttered.

“I’ll slice in and scrub all of the servers after we figure out this... this... whatever this is?”

“Your insecurities laid bare in binary?” she suggested, oh so helpfully.

“Why did I come to you for help again?”

“Because--”

It was at that point, that a probe droid, currently speeding its way towards the cantina, happened to take notice of Lana talking to thin air, and veered off its intended trajectory, heading straight for Theron’s position near the back of the war room. If the loud alarms and flashing lights were any indication, it had been able to see through his stealth generator.

Wait... those weren’t alarm proximities it was flashing. As Theron watched its rapid approach, he couldn’t help but stare at it in dumb fascination, brow furrowing as he tried to make out the images it was projecting. If he didn’t know better, he’d almost say it was a bizarre mixture of Aurabesh and hologlyphs.

He squinted, just able to make out: “DX-98 🤖🔥 Analytical Scanner 💋🙏 Okara Droid Factory 🔍🌌💕 Exobiology Research 🥵🍑 Top HoloFans 0.7%!”

Before he had a chance to process any of that, the droid was already upon him, pincher arms spreading wide to snap him up for some purpose far beyond its original programming. He only had milliseconds to react before the droid reached him, when an explosive force sent the droid flying backwards harmlessly, and had Theron landing ungracefully on his tailbone. The stealth field fizzled out with a pop on his impact with the ground.

A familiar figure landed between him and the droid, twin blue scarves billowing behind her dramatically, blonde ponytail swaying with the motion of her movement. A small frown of concentration bunched her forehead as his wife threw a concerned look in his direction.

“You requested rescue?” Grey asked.

“Ah, my knight in shining armor has arrived,” he quipped back.

“I am not wearing my armor.” The frown of concentration morphed into one of confusion.

“I--never mind.” He pushed himself to his feet, dusting off his hands. “Thank you for the timely intervention.”

She graced him with a hint of a smile and a bob of her head in acknowledgment. “Any time.”

“As touching as all of this is,” Lana broke in sourly, “it still doesn’t solve our larger problem.”

“Yeah,” Theron rubbed the back of his neck, “you’re not wrong. It sounds like this has spread across the entire base?”

“It appears that way,” Lana said tightly. “You know, you assured me that all of this had been taken care of the last time we dealt with this issue.”

“Hey now,” he bit back, “I’m a man of my word!”

She snorted at that. “Tell that to the Umbaran Transit Authority.”

“How are you still mad about that?”

“You tazed me!”

“Focus,” Grey said, eyeing the stunned probe droid warily. “If memory serves me correct, you had a program you deployed to revert the programming of the droids the last time this happened.”

“Yes, that’s what doesn’t make sense.” He watched as the holoprojectors on the downed probe droid flickered, hologlyphs flashing rapidly in the War Room’s dim light. “I programmed it to eliminate all trace of the offending code. The only way it could be reappearing now is if someone took one of the infected droids offline before I deployed...”

Lana arrived at the same conclusion right about the time that Theron did, picking up the thought. “I seem to recall a certain someone requesting you replicate your work for less-than-legal purposes.”

Theron angrily punched the button on his comm as he growled, “Gault!”

The Devaronian’s voice came back immediately, almost a little too suave. “Theron! What a surprise to hear your dulcet tones requesting my presence.”

“Gault,” Lana managed to keep some measure of calm, “are you responsible for this current situation?”

“What situation is that?” he asked far too innocently, even as a distant call of a droid’s clanking nearly drowned out it’s loud declaration of the presence of rust on one Theron Shan’s “bolt”. There was a moment of silence before he continued. “Oh! You mean the lustful droids currently running amok on the base?”

“I’m glad we’re on the same page,” Lana said dryly. “My original question stands.”

“I am shocked, shocked and scandalized that my name would be the first to come to mind! Might I remind you, it was one Miss Djannis who requested you create her a Shan Sexbot.”

“Yeah,” Kaliyo jumped in on the comms, clearly annoyed, the sound of metallic brawling nearly drowning out her voice, “I wanted it for hilarious crimes! Not whatever the fuck this is!”

“Gault,” a third voice, Hylo Visz, cut in. From the background noise, it seemed she was in the same location as Kaliyo. “I swear, if you don’t help us figure out how to stop this, when you’re not looking I’ll cut off your--”

“Okay, okay, geez!” He interrupted before his significant other could finish whatever that threat was. “Fine, it was me! I deactivated a droid before Theron uploaded his program.”

“Of course.” Lana rolled her eyes upwards, as if asking the Force for patience.

“In my defense,” Gault continued, “originally it was just to shut the stupid thing up! But then Kaliyo came up with that brilliant idea for the Shan Sexbot Distraction, and I thought, why not hold on to this beauty in case it came in handy for a con?”

The sound of Theron smacking his forehead in frustration echoed throughout the War Room.

“So you know, just had a fun idea come to me the other day, so I extracted the original programming and altered a few things, and tried to put it into a new droid for my plan.”

“Did that droid happen to be a blue medical monstrosity?” Theron was actively massaging his temples at this point.

“I will have you know,” Gault said, “that BL-U3 is a consummate professional. You would be lucky to have him perform a medical exam on you!”

“Yeah, that was definitely his intent,” Theron shot back. “Purely professional and not lecherous at all! Which was not in any of my code.”

“Hey, I never claimed to be very talented when it came to software programming. I may have made a mistake or two when altering your code.”

“May have?!”

“How was I supposed to know that the remnants of the Gemini Frequency code in our systems was going to work after the entire Eternal Fleet had gone offline and deploy your software STD to the entire network? Sue me!”

“I’m considering it!”

Before the mostly pointless argument could escalate any further, the sounds of metallic clanking from above, roughly from the location of the cantina, began to grow closer, the cacophony increasing in volume, until it sounded like it was coming in all directions.

“That is not a good sign,” Grey’s mutter was nearly lost to the noise.

“Hey,” Drake’s annoyed voice cut in over the comm, “my livestream is now officially ruined! I hope you’re all happy!”

“I’m afraid to even ask why,” Theron said.

“Oh, it seems all of my extremely eligible and single contestants heard your voice over the comms and abandoned challenging Seetoo Enntoo to unarmed droid combat for the right to court you, and are now all headed in your direction.”

“Oops.”

“Worry not Agent Shan,” the unusually warbly vocabulator of C2-N2 came over the comms, “I will not rest until I alone can provide you with the ultimate in comfort!”

“We should probably get a different housekeeping droid after this is all over,” he told his wife.

That seemed a lesser concern to Grey, as she had shifted into Alliance Commander mode, and was currently on the comms, shouting for every available member of the Force Enclave to get to the War Room as fast as possible to help hold off the incoming army of lustful droids.

Yeah, come to think of it, that was probably more important.

“We must use nonlethal force,” she stressed, giving a particularly severe look to Lana when she said that, getting a simple nonplussed shrug in return, “as we only need to hold the droids at bay until we can come up with a solution. They are not to blame for what’s happening.”

Theron begged to differ, but she was probably right in this case. The cost of repairing or replacing an entire base full of droids would be astronomical.

As Force users began to stream in and take up position around the room, the sound of wheels racing along the metal plating caught Theron's attention, and he looked over to see a familiar silver T7-series astromech racing into the room. He tensed up instinctively at the sight of a droid, as anyone would have in his situation.

“Teeseven!” Grey called out with a smile, clearly not as wary or droidshy.

The little astromech let out a friendly whistle and series of chirps in binary, that roughly translated to: “T7-01 = Safe! // Been off network entire morning!”

“Oh, what a relief,” she breathed, “I would have hated for you to be infected with this too!”

He let out another series of beeps: “T7-01 = still in possession of original antivirus code. // Can tweak it and upload to servers = Save the day?”

“I don’t know if that’s such a good idea,” Theron muttered.

“T7 = not scared!”

Grey’s expression melted into one of admiration and pride. “Teeseven, that’s incredibly brave -- but are you sure? Theron’s right, it could be very dangerous.”

“T7 = Jedi + Theron’s friend. // Helping > Risk!”

She looked at him and he returned the gaze with a small nod, realizing there wasn’t much in the way of choice. It was either that or let the droids overrun them. And then whatever happened when one of them actually got their hands on on Theron -- a prospect he wasn’t really that thrilled to explore right now.

“Fine,” he said tersely, “let’s do this!”

The two of them rushed over to the center console in the room, Theron pulling out his slicer spike as Teeseven plugged his scomplink arm into the main network terminal. The rest of their reinforcements from the Force Enclave arrived just in time and formed a ring around the two slicers. They managed to erect a large Force barrier just as the metallic clanging and clatter grew to a roar, announcing the arrival of the lecherous horde.

Near the front of the mob, Z0-0M threw up her arms in glee and excitement as she jumped to try and catch sight of her beloved. “There you are Agent Shan! You left before we could finish our conversation -- you were saying something about oxidation?”

“Interjection: Do not listen to this hussy, Theron! You and I will make sweet explosions together!”

Theron valiantly tuned them out as he took in a feed of the original antivirus code that Teeseven shared with him. Yes, this all looked correct. Unfortunately, he was going to need get a look to see how Gault had mutilated his beautiful original coding to know how to alter it.

Teeseven was two steps ahead of him, and a stream of code flashed across the HUD in his ocular implants. He watched in horror as he saw the butchery with his own two eyes.

“Gault, where the hell did you get this code?” he asked over the comms incredulously. “HornHub?”

“Excuse you, I only frequent the classiest places on the galactic communications grid, like HoloHump!” The growl of Gault’s name from a very angry Mirialan smuggler had him quickly adding. “You know, I’m just going to shut up and let you concentrate on what you’re doing.”

Teeseven, ever the valiant worker, ignored the conversation completely, and was hard at work running diagnostics on the altered code and the best way to modify the antivirus to address it. Theron watched the stream of letters and numbers fly across the HUD at lightning speed.

The little guy was good at what he did. He let out a flurry of beeps and whistles as almost the last piece of this very lurid puzzle started to fall into place. The little droid seemed to almost be singing along with the code as he wrote it, like a mechanical maestro conducting an orchestra. They were close, so close and--

The next whistle Teeseven let out was not his normal, cheerful way of communication, much lower in timbre and more seductive.

No.

Teeseven whirled his flat head around until his visual sensor faced Theron, and let out another wolf whistle, his holoprojector lighting up to proudly display: T7-01 🤖👀🔍 Observant 👁️🔭 Scanner 🔍🏞️ Tython 🌄👏 215 🍒♎ Repairing 👅🙈 Top HoloFans 3.6%

“What was that?” Grey shouted to be heard over the droids catcalling.

“No no no no,” Theron muttered, “we’re so close! Don’t do this to me, little buddy!”

“What happened to my precious baby boy?” Grey demanded, sweat trickling down the side of her face as she struggled to maintain the Force barrier.

Beyond the barrier, the rest of the porndroid army followed suit with Teeseven, all either wildly projecting their own series of hologlyphs and random facts about themselves and their planets of origins, while others struck disturbingly seductive poses, and a scant few demanded that “ShanDaddy” start a holocall with them in private.

With no time and no recourse left, Theron dove back into the system, yanking Teeseven’s unfinished code as he was nearly overwhelmed with lewd images and thirsty hologlyphs, struggling to finish and upload the code as the volume in the War Room rose to a crescendo just as the Force users’ began to fall, one after the other, their barrier weakening by the moment.

The overwhelming cacophony of hologlyphs, lewd poses, and robotic come-ons that had filled the War Room suddenly disappeared. All eyes turned to the droids as almost in unison, as they all powered down—a sign that their malware had been neutralized. Theron slumped back in relief, his work finally done.

Grey, Lana, and the others let out a long sigh of relief, the tension leaving their bodies in a rush.

“Thank the Force,” Grey murmured, sinking down to the ground. “I do not think I could have held that barrier much longer.”

Theron nodded, feeling a similar sense of exhaustion. He leaned back against the console, closing his eyes but was unable to banish the mentally scarring series of images that were probably permanently burned into his retinas.

“Remind me,” he said faintly, “to obliterate HoloHump’s servers. Once I’m done murdering Gault.”

“You act as if there will be anything left after I find him,” Lana said darkly.

“Remember everyone,” Grey spoke in her best and most official Alliance Commander voice, “murder is bad and frowned upon in the Official Alliance Employee Handbook.”

“Query: Why are we all in the War Room?” HK-55 asked as he came back online. “And more importantly, why is that blue meddroid manipulating its medical instruments into a heart shape, as if expressing affection towards the Commander?”

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intheinkpot · 11 months

Text

Replaying the Visions in the Dark quest for the weekly objective gave me some inspiration to write a quick (and rough) snippet set post quest.

Thorn studies Arlan turning her new lightsaber over and over in her hands. Gold and white with delicate swirling patterns etched into the hilt, a distinctive Zakuulan aesthetic. Arlan had been fairly tight-lipped about it, giving only the briefest explanation when she had suddenly reappeared in the war room, covered in dirt and mud with a new lightsaber gleaming on her hip. Then Aric Jorgan had disobeyed orders and accused Arlan of abandoning her post, and Arlan had withdrawn further and further throughout the night under the onslaught of Lana’s questioning and Senya and Koth's conviction that Arlan's decision to allow Kaylio's involvement in the mission had doomed it from the start.

Thorn had managed to diffuse the situation to the best of her ability, convincing Lana to take Arlan to get cleaned up. A suggestion Lana had readily taken to, perhaps needing only a slight nudge to redirect the anxious energy that had not abated at Arlan's return on base. Thorn can’t blame Lana - the last time Arlan suddenly disappeared, she had been trapped in carbonite for five years - but Lana’s need to understand what happened to Arlan, to ensure that it could not happen again, had blinded her to what Thorn could see clearly: whatever happened in the forest with Satele Shan, Marr’s ghost and Valkorian had shaken Arlan deeply.

For as open as Arlan seems, she is actually quite reserved. And so Thorn remains silent, waiting for Arlan to feel comfortable enough to speak.

"It used to be blue," Arlan says softly.

Thorn keeps her tone light, conversational. "What color is it now?"

Arlan ignites the lightsaber. The blade is a very light bluish purple, almost white, and it hums in a way Thorn finds almost comforting. It's beautiful, Thorn thinks, but far from the traditional blue associated with Jedi - the color of Arlan's previous lightsaber.

Thorn mulls over what to say before settling on asking carefully, "Does it bother you that it's changed?"

It's obvious that it does, but she hopes Arlan will tell her without her having to guess why.

Arlan turns off her lightsaber and stares at the hilt, a far away look in her eyes.

"Master Satele and Darth Marr told me that both the Jedi and the Sith were wrong."

Ah, Thorn thinks, there it is.

"Master Satele said she faced a choice when she found me unconscious in the forest. She could help me...or she could kill me."

Thorn grits her teeth. For someone who had given as much to the Order as Arlan to hear that someone they admired contemplated simply killing them... It's a thought Thorn knows would never have crossed Arlan's mind if the situation had been reversed.

Arlan hesitates. "All I ever wanted was to be a Jedi. To help people. Protect them. Keep the peace. I've tried so hard but even Master Satele...and she said she'd help me become something more but then she just left - "

Left me, Thorn hears even though Arlan doesn't say it.

Arlan brings a knee up to her chest and rests her chin on it and wraps her arms loosely around her leg. She stares out over the Odessan wilderness, lost in thought. The lightsaber rotates slowly in the air in front of her over the edge of the cliff face they're sitting on. Thorn wonders if Arlan thinks of dropping it, letting it crash down onto the rocks below.

Thorn shifts closer and nudges Arlan's shoulder with her own. "We hardly need her. You have me," she teases. "Surely I'm better than a hermit and a ghost."

Arlan's lips quirk upwards into the first smile Thorn has seen on her face since she disappeared the night before. "You’re certainly something, that's for sure."

Smiling, Thorn rests her head on Arlan's shoulder. She allows the companionable silence to linger a moment longer before she says, "I am sorry, you know." She tilts her head to look up at Arlan's face, but Arlan keeps her gaze pointedly straight ahead. "You deserve better than this."

For once Arlan does not protest or try to pretend she is fine. She blinks back tears and takes a shaky breath.

"Thank you," she whispers and rests her head against Thorn’s.

They stay there until the sun begins to set, and Arlan sighs.

"If I'm not back before sundown, Lana might start tearing Odessan apart," she says with a fondly amused smile.

"Oh, well if I'll get to see Lana heroically flexing her muscles, we have to stay - hey!" Thorn protests when Arlan picks her up easily and sets her on her feet.

Arlan laughs. "You won't have to deal with calming her down after."

"Oh, I can think of a few stress relieving activities I could help Lana with," Thorn purrs, and Arlan rolls her eyes, amused.

Though their conversation remains light-hearted, Thorn feels the shift happening, the closer they get to the base, as Arlan becomes the Alliance Commander - something like Jedi Master Arlan Sinoss but not quite, a new facet of her personality to put forward, another persona that is not unauthentic but rather...incomplete.

"There you are," Lana says, slightly breathless, approaching them briskly, "I was starting to worry."

Arlan smiled softly. "I told you I would be with Thorn."

"That's what worried me," Lana drawls.

Arlan chuckles and pulls her into a hug. She murmurs something into Lana’s hair that Thorn can’t hear, and Lana relaxes in her embrace, resting her head contentedly on Arlan's shoulder. Thorn smiles slightly. She meets Lana’s eyes, gives her a nod, and wanders off to find Rin.

Bonus pics of Thorn (ft her favorite mount) and Arlan!

#swtor #sith inquisitor #jedi knight #jedi knight oc #lana beniko #jedi knight x lana beniko #oc: thorn graves #oc: arlan sinoss #swtor oc #i wrote this from thorn's perspective because i wanted to try seeing how she would puzzle her way through a delicate conversation #since thorn is essentially the feral cat arlan befriended #hinted at but not explored here is thorn as a disaster bisexual #also i blame pentacass for this for encouraging me lol

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ladyofsilverr · 2 years

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STAR WARS: THE OLD REPUBLIC — 2/∞ ➜ The Force is not my only ally.

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sunderedazem · 1 year

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How did Corrian handle Theron’s betrayal?

>:3c

Corrain doesn't handle Theron's betrayal well, but it's not entirely his fault. Making it worse, he can sense that it is not a true betrayal, even if he doesn't know what actually is going on, and there's a LOT stressing him out besides his husband Pulling Some Shit.

See, Corrain is fuckoff powerful in the Force, right? But that gift tends to present itself in a few specific ways, one being powerful visions of the future. And right around this point in time, not only is he preparing to take the throne of and actually lead Zakuul while simultaneously trying to democratize their government to some extent, and mediate peace talks between the Sith Empire (which is afterwards divided in half when Malgus escapes with a bunch of pissed off Sith and creates the True Sith Empire and promptly starts a semi-civil-war) and the Republic....but he's also having a series of strong, really-mindfucky visions and for the first time he cannot tell what the Force is trying to guide him toward. Not that his visions are ever clear, of course - they tend to be very metaphorical and only show him little snippets of actual moments of the future - but when Vitiate/Valkorion was his opponent he thought he understood them. Now he doesn't have a clue what they mean, only that something is coming and whatever it is, it's entirely possible it will be worse than Vitiate eating planets.

So, with this kind of Ominous Portent hanging over his head combined with the galactipolicital situation and his own impending coronation and the additional fact that he can sense that not everything is as it seems with Theron and that betrayal...he just doesn't have *any* idea of what's really going on and he's scared. He knows something awful is coming but he doesn't know what it is or how to stop it and he THOUGHT it was Valkorion but he's still having the visions and even worse, the visions seem to be guiding him toward this Awful Thing.

And then Theron crashes the train on Umbara. Corrain can tell something's off the entire time and he's desperate to stop it and the visions from coming to pass but he doesn't know how - and so when Theron turns on him, it breaks him. Visibly. He loses control - and with a strength in the Force like he has, that means a lot of accidental Force Lightning. And, well. He shorts out the control panel on the train as it's accelerating. So it...doesn't stop accelerating. None of them notice until Theron takes off on the speeder stored for his getaway and is horrified to realize that the warning lights are blaring and the sabotaged electromagnetic train pulsars have already been set to blow. This means when the train crashes, Corrain (being a self-sacrificing idiot) tries to break Lana's fall at the cost of protecting himself, and is nearly killed on impact. Lana has to carry him to safety and arrange a medical transport, and he spends a few days in a kolto tank, recovering.

This accidental assassination almost-success has the dual effect of shattering both Theron and Lana, and making the Order of Zildrog FAR more trusting of Theron. It also means 95% of the Alliance, Vaylin and Arcann now included, are furious with Theron. (Keep in mind - the three of them are 'secretly' married at this point, which of course means the entire galaxy knows lmao). And this also means that when Corrain gets on air, about a week later, he's all but begging Theron to come home (because he can sense this wasn't a true betrayal but he doesn't know why it's happening), and pretty much everyone that knows him thinks it's the desperate, delusional plea of a heartbroken man. He also prevents the Chiss Ascendancy from shooting down Theron's ship on Copero with anti-spacecraft guns when they offer to do so. Even Lana only half-believes that he's actually been able to sense Theron's intentions, and it's only because she's generally sensed the same thing - only, she's keeping quiet and levelheaded about it, because she once did something similar to Theron on Rishi, and she knows he'd have clued them in if he were able. (If he were thinking straight about the situation, Corrain would be doing the same. He is not thinking straight. He is terrified because he is an unwilling Oracle for disaster and now THIS is happening-)

This obstinate inability to believe in Theron's betrayal ends up making it somewhat more difficult for the Alliance later, when my Canon Divergence happens with the remainder of the Zildrog arc (i.e. Zildrog isn't the Gravestone wtf bioware). Because sure, Corrain was objectively correct about Theron's betrayal - but now there's doubt about whether that was certainty born out of genuine objectivity, or wilfull blindness to a potentially devastating truth? (Answer: both tbh)

So when he starts having terrifying visions about [redacted], the leaders in the Republic and Empire pay mostly lip service to his warnings and calls for genuine peace and reform and go back to skirmishing. And then, of course, disaster strikes and his credibility comes back in full, but that's another story.

Thank you for the ask!!!!! I'm sorry it took so long to answer.

#swtor #swtor oc #corrain #moonrise legacy #corrain gealai #jedi knight oc #jedi knight #star wars #theron shan #lana beniko #corrain x lana x theron #luna tag!#yeahhhhhh this is fairly similar to how the pc can react in the canon story #but it always STRUCK me how absolutely desperate the PC must sound if they chose to make that broadcast asking theron to come back #especially if there's an active Theron romance #like...god. talk about baring your heart to the entire galaxy hoping the man you love will renege on nearly killing you and come back #pain. heart hurty. ow.

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raven-of-domain-kwaad · 2 months

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9 people you'd like to get to know better (Tag Game)

Got tagged by @mimabeann and @swtorpadawan, my thanks to both of you for the tag!

3 Ships

Canon Ship: Think I gotta go with Mulder and Scully. Though nowadays I really only ever watch up to the first movie (Fight the Future) as the show's writing really went downhill after that point.

OC Ship: My Jedi Knight / Alliance Commander Ryscha Kine with Lord Loyat (my version of her anyway as she has such a small canon presence) and Lana Beniko.

Ship of the Week: Jazz Fenton x Jason Todd. I have been on a big Danny Phantom / DC comics crossover kick and I adore what the crossover fandom has done with these two as a couple.

1st Ship: Oh that was probably Tahiri Veila and Anakin Solo from the Junior Jedi Knight books. I loved them as a cute little kid couple and being a little kid myself I also projected hard onto Tahiri.

Last Song: Everybody Wants to Rule the World - Tears for Fears

Current reading: Yeah... it has been a while since I finished reading a book though I have started a few

Nevernight - Jay Kristoff

Frankenstein or The Modern Prometheus - Mary Shelley

Trouble and Her Friends - Melissa Scott

Last Film: Can't remember the last film I saw in theaters. But the last new film I saw was Prey (2022) which I loved.

Craving: Some good fish and chips, specifically fried catfish. The place near me that I used to go to for my fried catfish fix closed down last year and there are no other good seafood places near me.

Some no pressure tags for: (and anyone else that sees this and wants to participate!)

@a-master-procrastinator @vihola @voidendron @mysterious-cuchulainn-x @starknstarwars @shabre-legacy

#about raven

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aki888 · 3 months

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People You'd Like to Get to Know Better

Tagged by @greyias -- thank you for the tag! ♥

⟡ FAVE SHIPS ⟡

Zevran Arainai x warden

Tav x Astarion

Tav x Shadowheart

Theron Shan x Jedi (be it knight or sage)

Lana Beniko x Jedi (be it knight or sage)

Shepard x Liara T'Soni

Shepard x Kaidan Alenko

Tidus & Yuna (Final Fantasy 10)

⟡ LAST SONG ⟡

The Power (credit song) by Borislav Slavov

⟡ LAST FILM ⟡

One Piece Film: Gold (2016)

⟡ CURRENTLY READING ⟡

Vampire AU fic in the One Piece universe, I'm on a One Piece movie binge as my reading might reflects it x3

⟡ CURRENTLY CRAVING ⟡

Chocolate (like always x3)

Chili con carne, I always make enough to have more than one portion so I can freeze it in and just have to make myself some rice

Replaying Mass Effect, BG3 and or Dragon Age: Origins again, my brain can never decide on one help!

My Scions of The Seventh Dawn buddies, tadfools, the Normandy crew, etc

Some sleep, got a sinus infection and sleeping bad for the last few days, hope the meds help soon

Tagging: @aspyforthethrone, anyone who wants to do this

#thank you for the tag!#ask thingy #meme thing #always fun to do these

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cinnabon-sith · 3 years

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Theron and Lana Fake Engagement

So I made a joking post a while back that Lana and Theron would 100% get fake engaged just to piss off Theron’s parents, (which I still stand by) I imagine it going something like this:

- There’s a party held on a neutral planet for peace talks and everyone notable from The Alliance, The Empire, and The Republic are there. Nox is being a little shit but what else is new, Imperius is being the sweetest Sith Lord alive and is just trying to talk about artifacts. So overall the party is going better than anyone expected.

- Theron’s drinking with Lana when they spot Malcom. They see Malcom visibly uncomfortable with the relationships between Empire and Republic civilians and they get a horrible idea.

Theron: “Malcolm! wonderful party isn’t it?”

Malcolm: “Theron! Well this is certainly a surprise, and Lana is it? The one who got Theron tortured?”

Theron: “Dad I would appreciate if you would refrain from antagonizing my girlfriend too much.”

- With the silence that followed you could hear a pin drop. All eyes were on them in a mix of curiosity and disbelief, well all eyes except for the two cypher agents who one seemed to be giving the other credits for a bet. With a soft “I told you so...” (Nothing could probably phase them anymore.)

- Theron of course can absolutely not, not take the chance to be more extra so he gets down on one knee. Lana knows what he’s doing one second before the rest of the room does and almost bursts out laughing at the sheer ridiculousness of it all. However, the estranged son of the Grandmaster of the Jedi order doesn’t fake propose to you every day so when in Rome and all that.

Theron: “What do you say Beniko? It’s been 7 kriffing years wanna make this official?”

Lana: “Theron I-”

Theron: “I mean you don’t HAVE to if you don’t want to. I mean it’s really not a mandatory thing-”

Lana: “Will you shut up and let me accept your idiotic proposal Shan?”

- The two hugged and Lana whispered in his ear, “The ring is positively atrocious.” And that was the Lana he knew and loved. A little later they managed some time alone considering that they were “newly engaged”

Lana: “Out of curiosity do you carry a fake engagement ring with you everywhere?”

Theron: “Hey! I’ll have you know that I carry a REAL engagement ring everywhere for FAKE proposals.”

P.S: You know I didn’t expect this to be this long I’m so sorry! And on the off chance that anyone wants to make a fanfic go for it. (Yes I ship Theron and Lana if they aren’t paired with the outlander, but their friendship is just as cute so read it how you want, the world is your metaphorical oyster)

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lightsidepaladin · 3 years

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AHA! You might have forgotten me but... I’m not dead!

Have some space wives. :3 I MISSED THEM SO MUCH OMG. ;----; My Jedi Knight OC Lia’nne and our favorite sith wife Lana Beniko. :3 ~ “In every one of us shines the light of love”

#lana beniko x jedi knight #oc x lana beniko #i miss them #SWTOR OC #swtor romance #quick sketch #wlw #f!jedi x Lana

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wackyart · 1 year

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Fictions Recap !

Hey hi hello, here are a few fanfictions I've been working on for some time now ! All of them are posted on AO3 and available with the links here ! "Cables and Closets: How to deal with your unhinged chaotic daughter": A fanfic about my Cathar Imperial Agent turned Smuggler and his daughter Ruí. This is a funny and cute fic, no TW whatsoever. Just pure fluff and a bit of comedy. Link here ! "Stormy Night": A cute fanfic about Theron Shan, Jaimie Balmor'he and their daughter Kiera Shan (aka "Kiki"). Kiki is afraid of storm so she seeks comfort with her parents. Cute something, fluff and basically them being good parents for the kiddo. I love this one a lot 🤍 Link here ! "The Captive and Deserter": Okay so this one is a heavy one. The "non-con" tag concerns the fact that the characters are physically ab*sed, not s*xually, and I want people to see that this is a heavy fiction, to make sure they're not going to click on it if that bothers them. This fiction is about my Cathar Imperial Deserter Raiden and Saël Valkaryan when they are caught and thrown into an Imperial Prison. They do their best to escape and this fanfiction is based a bit around the TV Series Andor, the same amount of violence and all. So pleas be careful with this if those subjects make you uncomfy or trigger you please. TW: Violence, physical/mental abuse, bullying, angst, like FULL ANGST, mentions of torture, mentions of wounds/blood and all... Link here ! "Growing Pains: When your worst problem in a Galaxy at war is teething.": Fanfiction about my young Cathar OC named Sable, Luce and Lana's daughter. In this fic, Sable is teething with her adult fangs and she seeks comfort in Lana's arms. No tw whatsoever, just a cute fiction. Link here !

"A Child's Play: Kiki's Quest for Datapads Domination": Fanfiction about Theron and Jaimie's daughter, Kiera, using a datapad. Something cute including Theron Shan, Jaimie Balmor'he, Koth Vortena, Lana Beniko, Luce Rivashi, Sable Beniko Rivashi. Fluffy and funny, no TW whatsoever ! (Added 19/03/2023) Link here !

(This post is going to be updated in the future with the recent ones !!)

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scr3am-bl00dy-g0r3 · 3 years

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they're lesbians 🤧🥰

#swtor #star wars the old republic #swtor jedi knight #lana beniko #oc x lana benibo #female jedi knight #twi'lek #lesbians

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ct-offical-sexyman · 4 years

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Sometimes a family can be a disgraced Jedi, her Sith wife, and her loyal T7 unit.

#myart #star wars oc #star wars #star wars the old republic #art #lana beniko #dariya nightingale #knights of the eternal throne #the old republic #jedi oc #lana x oc #lana beniko x oc #lana/oc #Caya!Art

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intheinkpot · 1 year

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Tagged for a combo of WIP Wednesday or Six Sentence Sunday by @pentacass. Wasn't sure what to put here so I decided to share some snippets I've written for two of my SWTOR OCs that I hope to do something more with one day!

Thorn Graves (Sith Inquisitor)

Thorn peers up at the Sith kneeling over her, struggling to ignore the pounding in her head. Her fellow slaves had cauterized the wound to her head - a deep gash from a shovel blade thrown by an irate slave driver which had taken her by surprise - but the wound has grown infected, and she hasn’t been blind to the hole being solemnly dug on the outskirts of the field all day.

How ironic the Sith have finally caught on to the Master and the slave drivers hiding her existence when they have finally almost succeeded at killing her.

“What is your name?” the Sith asks coldly.

Thorn laughs. Born into slavery, she’s never had a name but the one she took for herself. Certainly no family name. Still, he clearly expects an answer, and she’s never missed an opportunity to rankle her masters where she can.

She thinks of the thorn bush she hid under as a child, the one that tore the Master's clothes and sliced his skin just the same as it did to her, the protection it offered still, and she thinks of the grave already dug for her and the next one sure to follow. She grins.

“Thorn Graves,”' she sneers at him.

He grunts and slams the hilt of his lightsaber into the side of her head.

Arlan Sinoss (Jedi Knight)

Arlan remembers Voss. Remembers when an ancient being offered her power to defeat the Emperor if only she gave into temptation and betrayed her allies. Remembers turning down the power, remembers trying to offer herself to it as a sacrifice instead to save a woman she barely knew.

“Death is all but certain for your Sith friend. I could save her. I need only a moment of control.”

Staring at the vision of Lana, the woman she loves, with a lightsaber swinging to cut her down, Arlan doesn’t hesitate.

“Take care of it,” she says, and it sounds like take me instead.

“I must say...as relieved as I am at your choice to keep the Alliance independent from the Republic...I’m a bit surprised as well. I thought when it came down to it, you would choose to rejoin the Jedi Order.”

Their room on the Alliance ship is dark, lit only by the light from the stars and the Republic fleet ships surrounding them. Most of the crew is in the cantina, and Theron will probably be dragged back onto the ship by Torian and Shae after they finish draining the pockets of that poor soldier who opened the tab in exchange for good Corellia stories. Ordinarily, Arlan would welcome the chance to relax and enjoy herself in the Republic fleet cantina, like the old days with her crew between missions.

Lana stands near the foot of their bed, facing her. It would be so easy to push her down onto the mattress, just a step or two before her knees would hit the edge of the bed. Before she would land on top of Lana with Lana’s hands already halfway to tangling in her hair, legs moving to wrap around her waist.

Instead Arlan stands as if rooted to the spot several feet away, a weight in her chest and her limbs. Realizing that Lana is waiting for a response, she says, “It was tempting.”

There’s a beat, where Lana watches her curiously.

“But?”

Arlan swallows. There are many reasons that come to mind: the lack of Republic support during the war with Valkorian, how little she knows about this new Chancellor, the ability to operate and defend people outside of Republic authorization - how would someone like Arcann have fared under a Republic banner? Would they have gotten the information they needed out of Savik if they had turned her over to the Republic? If Arlan had not been in complete control of Alliance fleets, would the civilians of Corellia have been sacrificed in exchange for a few ships?

But most importantly, despite the words of Chancellor Rans and her apparent willingness to give a chance to the former Imperials among the Alliance’s ranks, Arlan had wondered how those people would fare under a Republic banner. They had placed their trust in Arlan, in what she stood for, in what she fought for. They were her responsibility. Perhaps one day the Alliance would merge with the Republic - but not today.

“I have to protect my people,” Arlan says, meeting Lana’s eyes, and finally she takes a step forward. There’s still a weight in her chest, but she brings her arms up to rest her hands on Lana’s arms, just above her elbows.

Lana’s eyes widen in surprise. “You don’t trust the Republic?”

“It’s... I want to believe the new Chancellor is genuine. It’s not that I don’t trust the Republic,” Arlan says. “And it’s not that I don’t want to help the Jedi or that I think I could do that better by turning down a position on the High Council - ”

“You turned down a position on the Jedi High Council?”

Arlan nods. “There're so many people from the Empire who joined the Alliance, and while the Chancellor offered them Republic citizenship and clean records if they wanted it... I have to be sure they would thrive in the Republic before I ask them to follow me there.”

Lana’s eyes move back and forth slightly as she searches Arlan’s face. She looks so close to understanding what Arlan is saying, perhaps hesitant to take that final leap.

Arlan squeezes Lana’s arms gently. “I have to be sure you will be happy.”

Lana’s lips part in surprise. “You turned down the Jedi Order...because of me?”

Arlan presses her forehead to Lana’s. “I would do all that and more if you asked me,” she murmurs, echoing the words Lana said to her weeks ago.

Lana kisses Arlan hard, fists her hands in the front of Arlan’s shirt and tugs Arlan against her, holding her there until Arlan's arms finally wrap around her waist. Her hands tangle in Arlan’s hair, nails scratching pleasantly at her scalp.

“I love you, Lana,” Arlan whispers, when they apart for breath.

Lana holds Arlan’s forehead against hers, staring into Arlan’s eyes. Her own nearly glow in the dark.

“I love you too. You mean more to me than I could ever say.”

Arlan brushes her lips against Lana’s and whispers, “Then show me.”

Lana smiles and kisses her, soft and lingering, and it warms Arlan’s chest and lifts the weight that had settled there.

// tags for either WIP Wednesday or Six Sentence Sunday, your choice! @galindathegay @naralanis @stargazereyes (no pressure!)

#the only time arlan gives in to valkorian is to ensure lana's safety #thorn is so dramatic and i love her for it #swtor #jedi knight #sith inquisitor #lana beniko #jedi knight oc #jedi knight x lana beniko #my writing #writing prompt #oc: thorn graves #oc: arlan sinoss

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