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#klaus Hargreeves
Klaus: *in Vietnam* Gay sex wont fix this situation, honestly it’d probably make it worse but I think we should give it a shot anyway
Dave: Im down
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https://rita-719.szhdyy.com.cn/e/GaJUkLV
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ofteaandsparrows · 3 days
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Klaus: Guess what? Five: With the way you live I have no fucking idea.
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soshadysoquiet · 2 days
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TUA fanfic WIP: Sibling Beach Trip
I've recently devoured @assaily 's WIP posts and you know what, why hoard all of my WIPs when I may never finish them and people might enjoy them?
Having said that this isn't a snippet so much as it's a 2 thirds done fic that I've lost inspiration for the ending for so grab yourself a drink and enjoy!
Working Title: Beach No Beach. Love a working title
Length: 6k. Self control? Who is she?
Premise: Post apocalypse a family beach trip is proposed. Five has his reservations and is finding real life hard to adjust to, but he'll go if that's the Sibling Movement of the week. This is basically a slice of life fic that I'm pretty sure was going to build to Diego needing to save Five from drowning at the beach, because of course it was, but I think the rest of this has enough low-level angst and family moments to be entertaining on it's own.
Warnings: This fic discusses body dysmorphia in small detail and has underage drinking from Five.
It was embarrassing. More than embarrassing, really.
Shameful.
But Five couldn’t swim.
They’d had what constituted as ‘lessons’ when they were kids, apparently. Five had very limited memories of life before the Apocalypse, and often they seemed more surreal than anything.
‘We did?’ He asked blankly, barely looking over his morning cup of coffee to Viktor and Klaus.
‘All the time bro!’ Klaus replied breathily, laughing, eyes just a little wide in the thrill of memory, or possibly at Five not remembering something. ‘You don’t remember the pool? I’m pretty sure Dad blocked off the door after we started sneaking down there to play.’
‘I remember.’ Viktor nodded along, smile curling his lips so that his face lit up. ‘That’s how we found about Diego-‘
‘And his creepy fish power!’ Klaus looked ready to implode with hysteria and even Viktor bent to the table with a snort before looking between them.
‘You really don’t remember that?’
‘Diego isn’t a fish…’ He spoke slowly. He was talking to children after all. Or maybe he was hallucinating again. It happened. Hiding his grimace, Five took a sip.
‘Yeah! Yeah he can really hold his breath, come on you have to remember that, we teased him for weeks!’
‘Yeah that was kinda mean of us.’ Viktor grimaced a little into his own coffee. Probably for no reason, Viktor at that age wouldn’t have said Boo to a goose.
Hold his breath? It almost was a memory. Someone laughing, Diego pouting, then throwing a fit.
‘I think I’d remember us finding out about that.’
‘Maybe you blocked it out, it was pretty horrible at the time.’ The tone shifted after Viktor’s words.
‘Why doesn’t that surprise me.’
‘What doesn’t surprise you?’ Diego.
‘Speak of the devil!’ Klaus chorused, Five flinched a little at Diego’s hand falling briefly onto his shoulder as he passed. But it was barely noticeable now, he’d almost got a hang on it. ‘We were reminiscing about the time Dear old Dad decided to test out our underwater endurance.’
‘You mean when he held us all under the water until you all near passed out and I beat all your asses.’
‘Definitely would have remembered that one.’ Five murmured, covering up the chill skipping over his flesh.
‘Technically you didn’t beat my ass, since I wasn’t included in How to Drown Your Kids 101.’ Viktor replied with a darkly amused smirk and the sort of steel satisfaction that only true trauma inspired.
‘Well I’d have beaten you too.’ Diego retorted, confident as he went about fetching some ungodly looking juice concoction from the fridge.
How many different fruits went into just that, how many vegetables? The math wasn’t worth it, wasn’t worth the pang of mixed dread and desire it inspired in him.
‘And then we all called you, ah, well, never mind eh?’ Diego’s glare had silenced Klaus.
‘For the record, we’re sorry.’ Viktor offered, voice so gentle and meaning.
‘I’ve got nothing to be sorry for.’ Five retorted. He wasn’t there after all, and he was above childish name calling. He had found more creative insults.
‘Well you got off the hook easily anyway, you weren’t even there.’ Diego chimed in, but did take the time to nod to Viktor in a passing sense of camaraderie. He sat heavily at the table and looked at them all as he took a drink. ‘What brought this on anyway?’
‘We’re trying to convince little Fivey-‘
‘Older than you!’ His insistence was soundly ignored.
‘To come to the beach with us all at the weekend.’ Diego hastily swallowed the mouthful of his juice. What could all those ingredients even taste like together? Five shook his head at the sight.
‘Hell yeah you should come! You don’t get out enough.’
‘I get out plenty.’
‘To the library maybe.’ Klaus mumbled, twiddling with the buttons undone on his shirt.
‘Come on Five, it would be fun!’
‘Would it really?’ He sighed, wished he’d just blinked back up to his room with the coffee.
‘Its the beach bro.’ Diego’s voice was so deadpan that Five managed to feel insulted.
‘There isn’t even anything there! It’s all dead anyway!’ One of his hands gestured with the coffee cup for effect as he complained but the others were staring at him and, oh, right. Nervously he cleared his throat. ’I mean-‘
‘No, no what is it?’ Klaus was too gentle. They’d started doing this recently, paying attention to him rather than responding with their own drama and pushing what he said aside. Five didn’t know what to do with it. And it only took a few rapid equations to work out the cheapest way out of this situation.
‘Fine I’ll go. But don’t expect me to enjoy it.’ He blinked away. But not far.
Paranoid.
‘Alright alright.’ Five muttered quietly at Dolores’ imagined critique from where he sat in the pantry, listening.
‘Well, that was surprisingly easy, only took ten minutes.’ Klaus sounded both pleased and a little disappointed. Had he not wanted Five to come after all, or had he just wanted to do more wheedling?
‘What do you think he meant by it being dead?’ Viktor asked, voice contemplative and too damn observant.
‘I swear to God Klaus, if you making him go to the beach causes another apocalypse-‘
Diego and Klaus devolved into childish squabbles and Five blinked out of the pantry.
The beach huh. He hadn’t seen it in decades. He’d only been the once. If they’d ever done any missions by the sea as children Five certainly didn’t remember it.
It could be nice this time.
‘We can’t swim Dolores.’ In the emptiness of his room, the reminder drifted lifeless. He’d learned that one the hard way. ‘And only you can float.’
-
A weekend beach trip sounded like hell to Five but apparently he was one of the few. Yet it was interesting that the closer they got to the date the more cracks appeared in the others’ armour.
Diego would boast about his abilities, but when Luther had guffawed ‘oh my god! Fish-Boy!’ Their knife-wielding vigilante had begun to stammer on and off when they talked about the ocean. Allison had bitched at Luther down the phone for it, as had Klaus in person. Five had been listening in on parts of the phone call.
Because he liked to hear their voices, not because he was paranoid, Dolores!
But it wasn’t just Diego.
Allison had sounded hesitant, and wanted to bring Claire, but remained nervous about mixing Claire with their family. Five usually made himself scarce on the rare occasions that Allison brought Claire around. It had only been twice, but no matter how much he wanted to meet her, Five didn’t have anything to fall back on when interacting with people outside his siblings. Unless they were a threat, or it was for less than two minutes.
Three minutes fifteen had been his record, at the library where he went to practice. And after that he’d had to go hide in the bathroom stall and have a minor panic attack.
With people that mattered it was harder. Because there was only so long Five could talk to someone who mattered before he fucked it up. He’d only been able to say ‘Hi, nice to meet you’ to Claire before becoming overwhelmed by her childlike open-stare and making an excuse to run away. But he wasn’t the only reason for Allison’s hesitance.
Five thought she was worried about the crazy rubbing off.
During last month’s visit Klaus had told Claire the story of Dead Uncle Ben after she’d caught Klaus talking to what looked like thin air. Five had overheard on the phone call the week after how Claire had begun ‘talking to Dead Uncle Ben’ at school. For a custody battle situation, it was understandably a nightmare.
Diego always had knives on him, and children had sticky fingers. Claire kept trying to pull them out from Diego’s pockets and holsters and fingers. It wasn’t as if Diego encouraged or approved of it, but he had offered to teach her before he’d caught Allison’s look. And even at the beach Diego would probably be packing at least three knives. Probably more.
Luther had been fine at first, and was Claire’s favourite uncle. But then  the Holy Trinity of Stupid; hitherto named Klaus, Luther and Diego, had loudly reminisced about the all the times Luther had accidentally injured them during training when they were kids. Even Five had joined in; Luther  smacking him hard enough into the wall after a mis-timed jump and cracking his arm during combat training were ironically some of his clearer memories. Allison trusted Luther with Claire’s life, but she had looked a little green around the gills as they all laughed about it.
Viktor hadn’t done anything to directly inspire worry, but Allison had told Luther she was worried about Claire finding out what she’d done to her sibling when they were children. Five had stopped listening to the phone call once Allison started crying, feeling more than a little guilty about his eavesdropping.
So, Allison was apprehensive about Family Fun-Time at the Beach because it involved Family Fun-Time. Otherwise known as ill-facilitated chaos.
Klaus worried about taking Ben to the ocean and Ben being sad about only being able to be so-corporeal in the ocean. A guilt Five felt Klaus didn’t need to put on himself, given that without him there would be no beach for Ben. But he’d been told he had a rather unsympathetic view on things and asked to leave. It didn’t help that Ben was apparently desperate to go to the ocean and also sad about it, apparently.
Or so Five could tell from what he’d heard when he stood nearby Klaus’ room at night, or followed him at night down the street, or when he was hiding in the pantry eating fluffed-nutter sandwiches and just listening to his siblings being alive.
-
Friday lunchtime and Five thought that most of the pre-beach drama had probably run its course, that said nothing for what would blow up when they were actually there in typical Hargreeves-style. And he counted the journey to and from as a separate nightmarish entity altogether, but at least this time he was one of the cats to be herded, not the one doing the herding. Small mercies.
They were just lucky that Lila had decided not to come. Apparently their powers ‘gave her a headache’ whilst she was pregnant. Five had gone to visit her out of boredom and sibling duty, and swore to report back on the idiocy for her, and had somehow gotten roped into shopping.
‘Just zap us all there, I want to feel alive again.’
‘You could do it yourself.’ He pointed out, and she groaned and grabbed his hand. They did that a lot, held hands. Five had actually come to enjoy the brusque contact with his most violent sister. There remained a certain comfort in the knowledge he was holding the hand of another killer.
‘Don’t be a prick.’ She groaned. He waited, brow raised. ‘Look you’re more practiced than me alright! I don’t want to jump there and find out little Lila Junior is all over the floor somewhere else!’
‘Okay that’s disgusting.’ He’d blinked them just to stop the conversation, but not so quick that he hadn’t seen her wicked grin at his pain.
And, of course, after jumping that far, he didn’t have the juice to escape.
‘Do you even own anything that isn’t some god-awful dark academia bullshit?’
‘Rich coming from a punk.’
‘You’re going to the beach not a banquet-‘ They’d snapped and bitten at each other whilst grinning through their shark teeth and Lila had forced him to buy a pair of truly heinous swimming trunks about the length of the Academy shorts he’d used to wear. At least until Allison had dragged him out shopping again.
‘You wore that nice suit in the Sparrow timeline, you do not need to go back to looking like a prep-school kid.’
At least Allison had taste.
And secretly, Five had been glad that someone had made him do it. Old routines were the hardest to break for him when they seemed so ultimately unimportant.
‘Sunglasses!’ Lila belted out, breaking his musings and dragged him roughly over to a stand. She’d fussed over trying on shades and insisting on him doing the same and Five had allowed himself to pick out a pair he actually quite liked.
They suit you better than those goggles. Five huffed a smile at that. Dolores always had deplored his apocalyptic wardrobe.
‘I just, I want to be out there, but I’m not sure I’m ready to be out there.’ Five’s head popped up over the sunglasses stand.
‘Viktor? Luthor?’
‘Five!’
‘Lila?’
‘There’s the boys! No Klaus?’
‘He was, um, what are you doing here?’ Luther stumbled the words, other than Klaus and Five, the siblings were still somewhat awkward around Diego’s partner. Lila didn’t let it show, but Five thought the distance there bothered her. Five certainly wasn’t the one to know what to do about it. Klaus had told him he ‘imprinted’, like a duckling, and that had been enough ‘friendship’ talk to last another lifetime.
And he got embarrassed enough by Diego’s obvious happiness at him taking the time to include Lila.
Five held up the shorts he was being frog-marched into buying.
Not that there was a point, because he wouldn’t be stepping foot in the ocean ever again.
‘Apparently this is required dress code.’
‘Oh, same.’ Luther grinned a bit, before his face fell. Viktor, who’d been the one talking earlier, looked a little sullen.
‘No offence, but me and my spawn are going to walk away from all this.’ Lila gestured and excited stage left back towards the child section where, embarrassingly, Five had just come from to get the shorts in his hand. She had meant that their powers were bothering her, a weird pregnancy side-effect, but the pair of them looked a little slapped in the face.
‘What’s up with you two?’ Five asked, coming around the sunglasses stand to eye them up and down better. ‘Was it Diego? It’s usually Diego.’
‘What? No.’ Luther insisted. Viktor cleared his throat.
‘It’s just,’ Viktor paused for a breath and looked to Luther, who nodded encouragingly. ‘It’s hard to, cross some hurdles, with the dysmorphia.’
‘It’ll get easier, or I hope it will.’ Luther’s half-encouragement was half-hearted but well meaning, and Viktor offered him a small sad smile. Five just frowned at them.
‘Dysmorphia?’ He rolled the word around, squinting. ‘The medical condition?’ He frowned harder. In a sense, Luther’s ape-like physicality could be called that. But Sloane had gone a long way to helping with that. But she wasn’t fully welcomed into the loving disaster that was his family yet, so she wouldn’t be at the beach. Maybe that was the problem.
He’d said the wrong thing, Luther was flushed in embarrassment and Viktor put a hand on his arm before cutting in.
‘No, well-‘
‘Sort of, in my case. Both I guess.’ Luther spoke over Viktor, seeming to pull in his confidence with a truly remarkable strength. Strength of character that their father had always failed to measure. Much like Viktor’s patience.
‘Body dysmorphia. It’s when you might feel like the way your body looks isn’t how you think it should be. It’s how I felt, before. And somedays there’s another new hurdle to cross.’
‘It’s not comfortable, the idea of being on show like that.’ They managed their words with aplomb, but Five was somewhere between them and himself.
Maybe that was selfish, but he found himself looking at his own hands as they spoke, jaw a little slack.
Dysmorphia.
‘Oh.’ He didn’t have many more words for them, but the silence suggested he should, so he pulled away from himself and looked to them again. ‘What are you going to do about it?’
Taken aback a little by the blunt question, they looked at each other. Viktor found his voice first.
‘We were debating between making a ’t-shirts are ok’ pact or a-‘
‘’Skin or nothing’ oath.’ Luther finished. Five didn’t think he had the skill set to say the right thing.
You do. Dolores insisted softly. You’re kinder than you think.
‘Well, let me know what you decide.’ He offered, hoping he was somewhere on the track to wiping the misery off their faces. Three apocalypses and it’s still the human condition bringing us all down. ‘I’ll join you.’ Decidedly he nodded, and turned to make sure Lila wasn’t getting caught shoplifting. Honestly her skills needed some improvement. Although she would probably say the same about him.
Viktor and Luther’s seaside-problems Five could understand maybe a bit better on a personal level than those afflicting the rest of his family, because there was a certain degree of dysmorphia to all their bodily situations that didn’t bother dwelling on but couldn’t not be dwelt on at the beach. It wasn’t like he enjoyed looking at himself in the mirror, so on some level he got it.
He’d bring a t-shirt in case.
-
Despite their united worry, and Five’s pessimism, the Hargreeves family all descended on the mansion Friday evening for their trip to the beach the following day.
Five nearly blinked to the roof when Claire ran up and hugged him, standing with his fists clenched throughout and then vanishing behind the bar. As in hidden behind the bar. He had long ago sworn to Allison that he wouldn’t drink in front of Claire. They could at least both agree that she was a child.
Luther and surprisingly Viktor got drunk on the other side of the bar and Klaus merrily joined in.
Lila dropped Diego off to stay overnight since they had an early start come the morning, and Five contemplated blinking into their car to escape whilst Diego shouted at her to not do anything criminal while he was gone.
Allison escaped to smoke twice in between fretting about which sibling to entrust Claire to in the meantime, and quickly decided to just put Claire to bed instead.
Five listened to it all hidden behind the bar. Klaus knew he was there, he kept passing his glass down for Five to refill. Five left a shot out for Ben as well, because it felt polite, Even if apparently Ben disapproved of alcohol.
All too soon, they were turning in for the night in dribs and drabs.
Five hung on until the end. Surprisingly with Luther and Viktor.
‘Ahem.’ Luther cleared his throat and knocked a little sloppily on the bar top as they were turning to go. Five had been humming ‘Dream a little Dream of me’ for Dolores for the last few minutes and hiccupped himself to a stop. ‘For tomorrow, no shirts.’
‘No shirts!’ Viktor chorused loudly and very, very drunk, toppling a little from the sounds of it.
‘No shirts!’ Luther joined in and the pair stumbled up for the night.
‘No shirts.’ He toasted to the air, took his last swig and went to pick up Dolores-
But she wasn’t there. The shop had thrown her away.
In a flash the martini glass he’d been drinking from smashed against the bar where he’d thrown it.
You’re gonna have to clean that up now.
‘I know, I know.’
He ignored the catch in his voice as he moved to do just that, craving to hold her and getting glass shards instead.
‘Get up Five! Christ, there’s always one.’
‘And it’s usually him, or you. Actually it's usually you.’
‘Shut up and help me! Oh wait you can’t.’
‘Wow, low blow.’
‘Oh I can go lower-‘
‘Shut up.’ Five smacked his pillow at Klaus like a true teenager and glowered. His hair was ruffled and he smelt like a bar.
‘You look like some nasty little cat I found on the sidewalk and just want to put in a blanket,’ Klaus half-crooned, half sneered, grabbing his grumbling gremlin of a brother. ‘Now come on, get up and showered or Allison will have our asses.’
‘Have our asses!’ All three of them turned with slightly horrified gazes to see Claire standing in the door giggling, fingers pressed over her mouth and looking like she knew exactly what she was doing. The little tyrant. With a final giggle she turned and ran. ‘Mooooooom!’
‘No no no no no!’ Klaus abandoned Five to his fate and sprinted off after his favourite little terror of a niece. If she made it to Allison, they were all doomed.
She made it Allison.
Five managed to get himself somewhat presentable, down the stairs and into clothes. In fact they all did, more or les on time, it was a Hargreeves miracle.
‘Loving the shorts buddy. You needed more colour in your wardrobe.’
‘Keep talking and I’ll sk-‘ Five stopped himself, Ben snorted uncharitably behind Klaus’ shoulder as Claire looked eerily around at them, eyes wide and guileless. Klaus cleared his throat whilst Five’s brain seemed to re-wire itself, clutching his coffee for dear life and eyes shielded by shades. ‘Skkkunk you.’
‘Skunk you.’ Claire mouthed, hand benignly in Allison’s, eyes bright with hell-fire.
‘Skunk me?’ Klaus turned to Five again, disbelief and laughter battling for dominance in his chest. ‘That’s the best you could do?’
‘Keep talking, and you’ll find out.’ Five’s coffee got grumbled into and Ben guffawed behind them.
‘You’re both idiots.’
‘Shut up Ben!’
‘Dead Uncle Ben’s here?!’ Klaus shrivelled under the weight of Allison’s incredulous raised brows turning to him with the sweet promise of death as Ben ‘awwed’ behind him.
-
Allison had already had to put up with Claire having a tantrum about not being able to talk to Uncle Ben, and had thrown her hands in the air when  Klaus had said Ben also wanted to talk to Claire.
‘Sure, why not! Let’s just wheel her right into therapy rather than window-shopping it!’ She had stormed to the back of the bus and sat next to Five, because he was currently the quietest and she saw the least of him.
Ben’s blue conjured form absolutely enchanted Claire, and her eyes swelled so large and happy and un-affected by rumour as she looked gleefully between Dead Uncle Ben and her Mom that it made Allison’s heart lighter.
Watching Ben form into what existence Klaus could give him was always a delight, if a bittersweet one, and Allison found herself relaxing a bit at watching the joint joy on her child and brother’s faces.
They had taken the bus to the beach, changed three times and by the time the ocean breeze was coming salty and refreshing through the window Allison’s hungover siblings had drunk enough coffee, water and juice to grace the land of the living. Viktor and Luther had woken from their nap enough to tease Diego about his upcoming life of parenthood. She’d berate them, or join them, but honestly they were just the warm up act for the terror Allison herself could inspire if she told Diego the truth of parenting. But she didn’t quite want to do that.
Something in her knew the horrors too well to joke about them right now, the emotions always too present. And some dark voice inside her said that she didn’t get to lord it over anyone. Not with the mess she’d made the first time round.
And probably was making, letting her kid talk to her ghost Uncle.
‘It’ll be fine.’ Allison jolted a bit, and glanced down at Five, slumped still somewhat bonelessly, dressed in a plain top and tropical beach shorts that were almost the same shade of yellow as Allison’s own bikini under her wrap dress. Five was alert enough to be verbal, which was good, but not quite enough to move further down the bus and put up with their family’s particular brand of unending bullshit.
‘What will?’ She asked, bewildered. ‘This family trip? I’m pretty sure its’ already gone way better than it should, which means we’re due for a tsunami at least.’ He snickered at that and she smiled at the rarely heard sound.
‘Well I won’t disagree, but I meant Claire with Ben. If anyone can talk sense to her, it’s the one who usually holds the brain cell.’
And Five was somewhat right. Despite the way he very awkwardly coughed and looked through his fringe out the window when Claire came to sit between them.
‘Mom, I’m sorry about pretending to see Dead Uncle, I mean, Uncle Ben at school. I know it’s a Serious Topic now.’ She nodded solemnly, and Allison felt her face crease up in adoration at the attemptive-adult look on her daughter’s angelic face. And the apology that she wasn’t sure she deserved, but couldn’t help melting over. ‘But that doesn’t mean I’ll stop talking about him because Uncle Ben and Death are important.’ And just like that, adoration turned to the sort of disbelief that only children could inspire. Five snorted.
‘Smart kid.’ He muttered, and Allison found her smile reforming.
‘Thank you Claire, and you’re right, those are important topics. We’ll have a talk about bluntness at, a much, much later date.’ Because there were only so many Serious Parenting Moments she could handle before 10 in the morning. She thought she had an easy out, but then Five was turning to Claire with a devilish look at Allison over his glasses and a truly awful smile. Her stomach dropped.
‘Whatever she says don’t listen to her, your Mom mastered bluntness at age Six.’
‘Six?!’
‘Six.’ Five nodded.
‘I think you should go talk to Uncle Ben while he’s here sweetie, Uncle Klaus can only keep him visible so long-‘
‘But I wanna talk to Uncle Five too!’
‘No you don’t-‘ Allison and Five flashed each other an awkward look at their matching words.
‘Hey Claire! Claire! Wanna see the octopus in Uncle Ben’s belly-‘
‘NO SHOWING HER THE HORROR!’ Allison shouted as Claire squealed and ran for a glaring Ben and shit-eating Klaus.
She didn’t have one child, she had a whole bus of them.
-
The beach spray in the air wasn’t like he’d thought it would be.
Five watched the unreal blue hue of the ocean, heard the waves crash rather than slosh thickly, felt sand rather than trash and rubble under his feet.
It was beautiful.
‘So, we doing this?’
‘We’re doing this.’ He glanced to Luther and Viktor. They’d set up their family’s base-camp on the beach, and Allison was over at the nearby changing huts getting Claire sorted. Diego had set them up under one of the available umbrellas and was lecturing Klaus on sunscreen. Because of course he was.
Red rays from the too-hot sunlight burnt through the distorted atmosphere, piercing dust-and-storm clouds, lighting the grey sloshing water in an eerie light.
‘Don’t you want to swim? I always wanted to swim.’
‘Hey Five!’ Sand hit him in the face. Five spluttered and spun around. No crap littering the golden sands. Just his family and the blue tide. Disguising his shaky breath, Five glared at Diego. ‘You too, sun cream, come on line up.’
‘Sun cream Nazi.’
‘Want me to spray it in your face Klaus?’ Klaus just groaned, turning around obediently as Diego sprayed an endless can of aerosol ‘factor 30’ onto his pale skin.
‘Might as well get it over with Five. He’ll have his way.’ Klaus pouted.
‘That I will, alright, you’re done, come back in three hours.’
‘Alright Mom.’ Klaus mocked with a grin and escaped away, donning his brimmed hat and heading to the ocean.
‘You’re up.’ Diego beckoned him over and Five shook his head snorting.
‘The sun’s not even radioactive at this point.’ Diego stared and then grabbed him.
‘You’re the most in danger, young skin is important to protect.’
‘Get off me!’ Five snatched the can and roughly sprayed over himself before throwing it back. ‘Happy?’
‘That’s not how you apply sunscreen bro.’
‘Its literally what you just did.’
‘No sunscreen, no sun.’ Diego stated with an impressive amount of finality and pointed at the towels under the parasol where Viktor and Luther were lurking. Beyond them, Allison was running after Claire to the water.
‘Fine by me.’ He wasn’t swimming anyway, and he’d had enough of the sun’s harsh rays. Diego seemed appeased, and headed to the ocean himself.
Five settled down and, seeing his remaining brothers had already removed their shirts, did the same. Solidarity and all.
Job done, he settled back, and watched the ocean.
It was even more mesmeric now than it had been back then, thick with ash and ruined life, but the largest amount of water he’d seen in months.
He hadn’t washed in months.
Is it even real? Dolores laughed at him
‘Of course it’s real.’ Walking there had been a dream, heart thudding, shedding clothes along the way haphazardly, stumbling over ruble and Dolores in his arms, in a dream till the water sloshed over his ankles.
The sensation had sent shivers up his spine.
‘Hey, you swimming?’ Viktor nudged him back into focus and Five looked around him, glad of the sunglasses hiding his eyes.
‘No.’
‘Really? But we’re at the beach, and it’s pretty empty, even Luther’s in.’ It took Five a moment to notice that yes, he was. Tossing Claire up in the air and into the water as she squealed in delight. Diego looked like he was doing some pretty serious swimming while Klaus and Allison lounged in the shallows.
‘You go, have fun. I’ll guard the camp. Wouldn’t want us loosing our clothes.’ He got a frown at that, but Five had lost his Academy uniform that day on the beach and with it the only reminder of home he had left, the only identity he had. Not to mention the only clothes he’d had.
Just because he’d wanted to feel water and hadn’t weighed them down.
‘Well, come over when you’re ready. You’ll like it.’ He grinned in lieu of answering and Viktor shrugged and went off, both him and Luther bare-skinned from the waist up and wearing it with growing confidence.
Smiling a little, Five folded his arms behind his head and stretched his toes into the sand. It burned a bit, but the feeling was unlike anything he’d felt before. He kept doing it over and over, finally sitting up and admitting that he wanted to touch it.
Five settled off the towel and felt the sand all over, shivering, digging his fingers into it.
Dry and hot on top, cool and heavier underneath if he dug down far enough.
Golden, soft.
His fingers found a shell and Five took a while staring at the delicate pattern, mesmerised. He looked for more.
‘What are you doing?’ Five had to get a better handle on being snuck up on. He looked around to see Claire staring at him, rocking on her feet.
‘Finding shells.’ He replied.
‘I’ll help!’ She lay down next to the hole he’d dug and reached her arms in to tease through the sand. ‘They’re pretty.’
‘Uh, sure.’ Seeing how deep Claire had to reach into the hole, Five looked around and winced. Half of their belongings were covered in sand and to match the hole was a large mountain he’d moved aside, digging straight down mindlessly.
‘Is this one good?’ Claire pulled out a long, thin shell, poking Five’s knee with it.
‘Its great.’ He took it and tried not to feel her eyes on him as he looked it over. ‘It’s a razor clam shell.’ He offered, turning it over in his fingers and admiring the barred pattern. He put it in the ‘clam’ pile.
‘Really? What’s this one.’
‘A snail.’
‘And this one?’ Five glanced over from where he’d reached for another speck of porcelain white buried in the sand.
‘A crab claw.’
‘Where’s the rest of the crab?’
‘Given that that’s it’s arm, I’m assuming that it’s dead.’
‘Like Uncle Ben.’
‘Like Uncle Ben. Although, I don’t know if crabs have ghosts that stick around, that’s really an ethical and philosophical debate on the presence of a soul and frankly it’s exhausting.’
‘Oh.’
‘Claire! There you are, don’t run off like that!’ Allison looked vaguely harassed as she hurried to them. ‘Oh, Five, thanks for looking after her.’
‘Don’t mention it.’ He replied, somewhat guilty where he had moved to sit in the hole he’d dug, and hadn’t even noticed Claire being ‘missing’ in the first place. He’d been too focused by the texture of sand and delicate shells.
‘What are you two doing?’ The frown and amused quirk to her mouth suggested that this wasn’t normal.
‘Uncle Five’s collecting shells.’ Incredulous eyes turned his way, Five scowled.
‘I can stop.’ He snapped out.
‘No, no Five, it’s okay. People collect shells at the beach.’ Her assurance was swift but gentle, genuine. Claire was looking at him wide-eyed.
‘Oh. Okay.’ He replied, somewhat derailed from defending himself.
Prickly. Five ignored Dolores’ fond chuckle.
‘Impressive hole Five.’ Luther came up behind Allison and Five hopped out enough to sit on the rim of his sand pit. Claire squealed on seeing him and reached up to be lifted, she kept hold of the crab claw.
‘What is that?’
‘It’s Uncle Five’s dead crab!’
‘Don’t touch things like that!’ Allison wrestled it from Claire  who pouted.
‘Uncle Five touched it!’
‘Well, he’s a heathen, not a lady.’ Five snorted, but didn’t deny it. ‘Let’s go wash your hands.’ Claire was led away with a plea of ‘but mooooooom’ and Luther took her place.
‘You’re not swimming?’
‘Apparently I’m collecting shells.’ Five gestured over to the neatly sorted collection he’d accumulated.
Dolores liked them.
‘I just thought you were digging a hole. Maybe we should make a sand castle.’
‘A what?’ Luther was already gathering the sand Five had piled up and grinned.
‘I’ll show you! I used to try and make miniature ones on the moon with the moon dust I collected, but we could make a really big one!’ The childlike enthusiasm was enough to stir Five’s eternal curiosity, he followed Luther out of his hole and felt the sun lap his skin as they began forming a ‘foundation’.
It was surprisingly enjoyable. Therapeutically technical.
It looks good.
It did, Five thought.
Give it a tower for me, like a princess would have.
‘It needs a tower.’
‘Good idea. And a flag.’
They built for a while before Diego came to join them and added himself in with a comment of ‘sick’. They stuck one of Diego’s knives in the top in place of a flag and Viktor and Klaus came by with a heaping assortment of lunch foods.
‘Feeding time at the zoo!’
Allison and Claire followed having been in the sea again, and Five got up and stretched from where he’d been hunched over. The water glittered in the sun.
Five thought he might like the beach.
‘Five, your back!’
‘What about it?’ Five looked at Diego askance but got pushed under the shade.
‘It’s coming up red already, I told you to stay in the shade.’
‘Such a parent in the making.’ Klaus teased. ‘What? I think it’s sweet, really!’ Ben, apparently, was getting involved.
‘I’m fine.’ Five protested, but was wrangled onto one of their sandy towels and he watched bemused as Diego wetted a t-shirt and draped it over Five’s shoulders. The coolness did feel good, he hadn’t realised how hot his skin had gotten. Sometimes it was hard to feel things.
‘After lunch, you’re putting sunscreen on.’ Diego warned with a raised finger and firm stare. ‘Now drink your water.’
‘You’re not the boss of me.’ But he wasn’t about to waste water, so he drunk what he was given and ate the hotdog passed his way and listened to their chatter. With the distraction of the sand gone, his thoughts ticked lazily back to the last ocean trip he’d had.
He’d been so hungry that time that he’d contemplated eating one of the rotting fish carcasses before deciding better.
-
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colour-me-katie · 2 days
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The Umbrella Academy ideas that are stuck in my head (part 1): Nicknames
Klaus having a nickname for all his siblings from when they were kids.
Luther: LuLu (pretends to be annoyed but secretly loves it)
Diego: Di (rolls his eyes but loves it too)
Allison: Allycat/Allie
Five: Fivey/Cinco (Five, the grumpy old man he is complains but he always lets Klaus (and only Klaus) continue to use them)
Ben: Benny/Benji/Bentacles (more just gets added the older they get)
Vanya/Viktor: Vanny/V
Bonus Pogo: GoGo
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sarascamander · 2 days
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| Everything is blue,
His pills, his hands, his jeans |
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ssavaart · 4 months
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A couple of doodles of Klaus from the Umbrella Academy
Left one done in gouache and the right one is watercolors and inks
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c0ffeeb1ack · 2 years
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he's a cult leader, he's a fashion icon, he's a war veteran, he's immortal, he dies all the time, he's haunted, he's high and he's sober, he's agnostic, god hates him personally. i didn't say his name but he popped into your head, didn't he?
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sweetpastillas · 1 year
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totally real umbrella academy merchandise
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diamondri · 22 days
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ok but Klaus and Five are Sirius and Regulus variants
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brellygifs · 3 months
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THE UMBRELLA ACADEMY, SEASON 4 First Look
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momokodaisy · 4 months
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Extremely Late Umbrella Academy Textposts That Have Definitely Been Done Before (6/?) Prev Next
Bonus:
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hell-o-goodbye · 3 months
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sunriseseance · 2 months
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Posters and release date.
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dasloddl · 5 months
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wingedshoes · 2 years
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you're ALL WRONG the umbrella academy can never be riverdale because they have 30 year olds playing 16 year olds and tua has an 18 year old playing a 58 year old
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