#ketchup-monthly | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

planetsano · 8 months

Text

warnings: hybrid talk, master/pet, heats, knot mention.

gojo satoru would be the best caregiver looking after his hybrid girl. you’re so precious and sweet to him, you can barely string together a coherent sentence but satoru’s long since come to understand what you’re trying to convey. he thinks it’s so cute when you get frustrated that your words aren’t matching with the big emotions you’re feeling in your chest and it makes your bottom lip quiver and tears well in your eyes. but he understands— he makes you feel seen, heard, understood and loved.

if you’re a little lamb hybrid, you’re so gentle with kind demeanor, but you’re also timid or shy. gojo tries to get you out of your comfort zone by making you ask the cashier for your own ketchup and extra napkins.

if you’re a little bunny hybrid, you’re curious, friendly, and a bit mischievous at times. he can’t get enough of touching on your little cotton tail and soft, floppy ears. the way you eat your fruits is SO fucking cute because you space out while you nibble.

if you’re a little puppy hybrid, you’re curiosity gets you into a bit of trouble because you get into things you’re not supposed to. your demeanor is bubbly, energetic, and eager to please. you love to play fight and go outdoors.

but that’s neither here or there, really. satoru knows it’s wrong.. perverse to stick his cock in you even if you’re in heat. your tight little cunt is visibly dripping, pulsating for something to fill it right up like a fucking plug. he’s your master, right? you don’t understand why he’s hesitating so much but in your simple little mind, you don’t think about the nuisances that come with having sex in humans. it’s already viewed as taboo to own a hybrid in today’s society. he’d just be fitting out the stereotype.

gojo isn’t a pervert.

but how can he say no when you’re pawing at his crotch, sniffing his scent with a shaky whine in your throat? you’re just a precious and you’re begging for it— but he soon realizes you’re starting to beg for a knot he just doesn’t have. it disappoints him a tad bit that he can’t satisfy you in a truly primal way. so he fucks you until you’ve passed out from exhaustion and he’s shooting blanks. too much pleasure turns into pain after a while.

so he tells you he’s gonna get you some yucky pills that are supposed to “help” by suppressing your heats monthly.

but satoru can’t help but to think about the memory of how sloppy, hot and wet your cunt felt around him— he’s never had a cunt so good before. maybe he’d opt in for a more.. “natural” way of getting you through your heats..

#┊ ➶ ｡˚ ° bria writes!#jujutsu kaisen x reader #gojo satoru #gojo x reader #gojo satoru x reader #gojo smut #jujustsu kaisen smut #jjk smut #jjk gojo #jjk x reader #female reader #f!reader

4K notes · View notes

going-to-ikea-for-the-fries · 2 months

Note

I'm really sick and Satan's sacrificial waterfall is here AT THE SAME TIME!

I don't know if you do blurbs or headcannons, but if so, would you be willing to write for the boys (either taskforce 141, or singular characters,) taking care of an afab reader who has never had anyone wanting to take care of them?

If not, sorry to bother!

I don't typically take requests but... since I'm in the same boat (sacrificial waterfall is probably going to come over the weekend for me), I'll 100% do it.

A while back I also posted this: "You're feeling ill" and it's also along the same vein, if you'd like an extra little pick me up.

Period woes.

Rating: G Words: 1K~ tags: afab!reader but you/your pronouns, SFW!, fluff, comfort, periods and associated symptoms.

A person’s period might be the most hypocritical moment of their routine. They’re expected to continue moving, working and living their live as normal, all with a smile on their face, while their uterus actively attempts to cut off its own circulation… as if for any other injury or sickness you wouldn’t be expected to lay down and STOP for a moment and allow yourself to heal up, or at least improve enough to not be miserable.

But no. You’re expected to deal with it alone, to not show a reaction, to not be irritable, or groaning and writhing in pain. Take a shower, stock up on painkillers and slap a smile on your face, you’ve gotta go out in the world and act as if you’re not actively dreading every waking moment you spend on your feet.

That’s why you’ve learned to hide it when you’re going through your monthly. Your family, partners… not even your girlfriends know when you’re having it. Ever since you were a young teen, just starting out, it was very much a conceal, don’t feel, don’t let them know, sort of moment.

But it’s miserable. You’re always miserable. Everything hurts, the cramps, the headaches, the back pain, hip pain, your sore chest… Plus the blood, the lack of appetite (or increase in appetite), the nausea, the fact you want to cry one moment, or break dishes and scream the next, the way your colleagues annoy you beyond compare, how certain sounds grit your nerves just. enough. to make you feel like you’re losing it… And then you can’t sleep.

And of course… he notices it. How could he not?

Ghost is discreet about it. He doesn’t mention it, doesn’t make a big deal about it… But he’s VERY good at taking care of you without you noticing he’s doing it. His love language is acts of service… So he simply goes around giving you a hand on whatever you might need. Food? Made. Dishes? Done. Laundry? Washed, Dried, Folded and Put Away. He finds you trying to do something? No. Give it here, he’ll do it.

The inevitable day that a leak happens and you find yourself angry at yourself as you strip the bedsheets off the bed, trying to be discreet about it so he doesn’t see it, he silently grabs the sheets off your hands and murmurs a “Go take a shower and change. I’ve got this.” before turning to put the sheets in the washer, clean the mattress and remake the bed so you can lay down again by the time your shower is over. It makes you emotional, sometimes, that such a stoic man will gladly take on every other responsibility to allow you to heal.

Gaz, blessed be him, is an absolute sweetheart… But he’s also a silly boy. He notices and although he’s not going to make a big deal about it, he’s still very… Boyish about it. Uses all the silly names for your period (“The Communists are coming”, “Shark week”, “Satan’s waterfall”, “Carrie”) and affectionately calls you “My little ketchup packet”.

He’s all for ordering takeout and getting you whatever you want when and how you want it. He’ll rub your back and be very careful about where and how he touches you. He’s ginger with touches around your waist and lower stomach, looks at you with those big brown eyes of his, as if checking that he’s not hurting you or crossing a boundary. You find yourself getting emotional when he whispers about how strong you are to deal with this every month… Keeps asking gently if you need anything… It makes you feel so safe.

Price’s older. He’s been in many relationships before. He notices your period is coming before it even does… Notices how you’re acting. Jumpier, grumpier, sadder… Notices how you toss and turn the couple of nights leading up to it. And he’s silently prepared. He’s made a supply run to the grocery store to get what brand of period products you use and some painkillers and puts them where you can see them in the bathroom.

Fills you up with warm herbal tea and food that he knows are easy to digest and help with your state. No fucking chocolate and sugar or potato chips, you’re being pumped full of soups and stews and veggies and cut up fruit. He’ll sit by your side with a paring knife and an apple and slowly peel, core and cut it, before slowly feeding you (and himself) the slices. When you try to resist it, at first, too used to doing things alone, he’ll grab your face with both hands, look into your eyes and tell you. “And why exactly would I let you do that, when you’ve got me here to help you? How does that make sense?”

Soap’s… Well… Soap’s got a bunch of sisters… Each of them dealing with their periods in wildly different ways... So one thing he knows for sure: He’s not about to assume anything. You do what you’ve got to, he’ll adjust to you. He needs to go to the bathroom but you’re in there? Copy that, he’ll go piss in the yard. You’re having a cry in the kitchen because nothing looks good but you’re hungry? Talk it out with him, what do you want to eat? Let’s figure it out together, bonnie. You need to lie down in a dark room because of a migraine or headache or just to catch on sleep you’ve missed? Johnny’s blacked out every window, gathered every stray pillow and blanket in the house and will make you a nest if he’s got to.

And when you wake up in the middle of the night with a whine and a stretch because your back hurts and you’ve got cramps and cannot for the life of you get comfortable, Johnny’s hands are rubbing over you, pressing kisses to your temple and murmuring little “I ken, love… It’ll be over soon… I’m sorry you’re going through this…”

#ikea writes 💚#cod fanfic #cod headcanons #reqs #simon ghost riley #captain john price #john soap mactavish #kyle gaz garrick #feeling sick #sickness #menstruation

191 notes · View notes

the-true-noodles · 8 months

Text

incorrect miraculous ladybug quotes 2! (because we need more of them)

part 1

Nathalie: Now, the recipe calls for 2 shots of vodka.

Nathalie: *upends the bottle*

*Marinette's second day of interning for Gabriel*

Gabriel: Hand me the people opener.

Marinette: ...

Marinette: Pardon?

Gabriel, annoyed: The people opener! Just hand it to me!

Marinette, stressed: WHAT THE FUCK IS A PEOPLE OPENER?

Gabriel: How do you not know what a people opener is? Its pointy- you know? With a handle?

Marinette: Knife. It's called a knife.

Adrien: *walks to cabinet, removes oreo box, takes half a sleeve, throws empty box out* Hi!

Nathalie: Hey- what are you doing-?

Adrien, shoving an oreo into their mouth: I am saving space :D

Gabriel: Would it be discrimination to only hire employees at my doughnut shop who have the same name?

Nathalie: Legally, I don't believe that breaches any discrimination laws. Morally though... I don't know.

Gabriel: I believe god is on my side when it comes to Duncans' Doughnuts.

Chat Noir: honk.

Gabriel: WHAT.

Chat Noir: HONK.

Gabriel: WHAT DOES HONK MEAN THIS TIME YOU WHIMSICAL PIECE OF SHIT?????

Ladybug: So, what's it like living with Hawkmoth?

Mayura: They once referred to sand as "heterosexual glitter."

Ladybug: ...

Mayura: I love him so much.

Mayura: Where's Chat Noir?

Hawkmoth: Don't worry, I'll find them.

Hawkmoth, shouting: Ladybug sucks!

Chat Noir, distantly: Ladybug is the best person ever! Fuck you!

Hawkmoth: Found them.

Nathalie: I just heard Gabriel call the dog a “fucking liar” because he barked like someone was at the door and no one was there.

Chat Noir: You know, Hawkmoth, when you generalize, you tell general... lies.

Hawkmoth: ...

Hawkmoth: Are you trying to teach me moral lessons through puns.

Nathalie: How are you gonna carve a gigantic pumpkin?

Gabriel: The same way I make onion rings!

Gabriel: *grabs a chainsaw*

Nino: Hey, you want a tarot reading?

Gabriel: Those are Pokemon cards.

Nino You got a magikarp.

Gabriel: ...

Nino: It means 'fuck you'.

Hawkmoth: Here's two facts about me.

Hawkmoth: 1. I hate hot people.

Hawkmoth: 2. I'm a hypocrite.

*the day this man goes out of the house by himself*

Gabriel: Keep it running. *Tosses keys over shoulder into empty parking lot.*

Ladybug: You ever see something that changes your life and you're just like "huh.."

Chat Noir: I saw you.

Ladybug: Honestly that's so cute and sweet but it kinda makes this awkward because I was gonna show you a picture of Hawkmoth in a turkey costume.

Marinette: My hands are cold.

Adrien: Here, let me hold them.

Marinette: My lips are cold too.

Adrien: *covers Marinette's mouth with their hand*

Gabriel: If we lose, you’re out of the will.

Nathalie: I was in the will?

Nathalie: Are you having another depressive episode?

Gabriel: A depressive episode?

Gabriel: I'm having a depressive series and we're just on season one.

Gabriel, entering the room: *Sees Adrien and leaves*

Adrien, watching Gabriel leave: There’s my monthly dose of my dad…

*Marinette and Nathalie are planning to break in somewhere to save Adrien without Gabriel knowing he was missing*

Marinette: We need to distract the guards.

Nathalie: Right.

Marinette: What are we gonna do?

Nathalie: I'm gonna break their elbows while you poke their eyes.

Marinette:

Nathalie:

Marinette: Deal.

Hawkmoth You’d be stupid to lay a hand on me.

Chat Noir: Oh, you’d be surprised how much stupid shit I do.

Adrien: *Gasp*

Marinette: wHAT??

Adrien: What if soy milk is just milk introducing itself in Spanish?

Marinette: *inhales*

Gabriel, in another room with Nathalie: Why can I hear screeching?

*during a temporary ceasefire because reasons??*

Ladybug: Hawkmoth learned how to fold origami penguins from Chat Noir the other day. I told them, “I feel a little bad for the penguins, it’s hot here”, and the next day they put them in the fridge.

Gabriel: Where did you get that tomato soup?

Adrien: It’s actually a bowl of ketchup I just microwaved.

Gabriel: Christmas is cancelled.

Adrien: You can't cancel a holiday.

Gabriel: Keep it up, Adrien, and you'll lose New Year's too.

Adrien: What does that mean?

Gabriel: Nathalie, take New Year's away from Adrien.

Hawkmoth: Arson? Oh, you mean "crime brûlée".

Gabriel, digging their grave: Long story short, this is my grave.......Want me to make you one too?

*marinette's internship is something i want to think would be really funny*

Marinette: Hey, wanna help me commit arson?

Gabriel: What the hell!?

Marinette: Oh, sorry, my bad.

Marinette, whispering: Wanna help me commit arson?

Gabriel, whispering: Of course. What do you need?

Marinette: So, are you two friends?

Gabriel: Yes.

Natalie: No.

Chat Noir: You use emoji’s like a straight person.

Hawkmoth: That’s literally the worst thing anyone has ever said about me.

Gabriel: I’ve been here in jail so long I think I’ve lost my mind.

Gabriel: The days turn into weeks, weeks turn into months.

Gabriel: How long have I been in here now? Almost a year?

Nathalie: This is Monopoly.

Hawkmoth: Well, well, well, if it isn’t the consequences of my actions.

Gabriel, putting their hands over Nathalie's eyes: Guess who!

Nathalie: It's either Gabriel or the cold, clammy hands of death.

Gabriel, putting their hands away: It's Gabriel!

Nathalie: Dammit.

Ladybug: We need to open this locked door. Nathalie, give me your credit card.

Nathalie: Here.

Ladybug, pocketing it: Thanks. Chat, cataclysm the door.

Nathalie: When was the last time you cried?

Adrien: Uh 15 minutes ago, why??

Nathalie: really? That recent?

Adrien: Yeah *voice crack* is that a issue? *starts crying again*

Ladybug: Why are you always trying to aggravate me?

Hawkmoth: To relax.

*Something crashes*

Adrien: Shoot-

Gabriel: *running into the room in a panic* WHAT FELL?!

Nathalie: *walking by the room calmly* What died?

(sorry for taking so long)

#chat noir #gabriel agreste #hawkmoth #miraculous ladybug #miraculous fandom #mlb fandom #adrien agreste #marinette dupain cheng #mayura #ladybug #incorrect miraculous ladybug quotes #crack #pure crack #nathalie sancoeur #i think this was all of the tags #funny

59 notes · View notes

rogues-the-fanzine · 3 months

Text

Meet @ketchup-monthly - *Really* wants to give Waylon jones a hug

#rogues! the fanzine #ketchup

17 notes · View notes

taxi-cab-to-slowtown · 8 months

Text

Art for @ketchup-monthly fic for the HalBarry Big Bang.

#halbarry big bang 2023 #halbarry big bang #halbarry #barry allen #hal jordan #vampire hal #my art #dcu fanart

34 notes · View notes

posting-from-project-nexus · 14 days

Note

[Another large crate without a return address is brought in. There's only a note taped to it, in hastily scrawled handwriting. "Your monthly shipment of mustard."] [The crate is filled with literally nothing but bottles of mustard, and one single bottle of ketchup labeled "Special edition red mustard! Made with 100% real tomatoes!"]

PHOBOS: Who the FUCK is this for?

HOFNARR:

#madness combat #phobos: chapter one #hofnarr: chapter 1

11 notes · View notes

foundationhq · 1 month

Text

As you login to a work computer at Site-φ’s main base, you notice a new notification in your SCiPNET inbox. As the computer renders the splash image at a snail's pace, you squint at the title. The Phi-thon? It turns out to be a monthly newsletter... but what catches your eye is the announcement of a new member for THE BROKEN SCALES OF THEMIS.

𝑴𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒉𝒍𝒚 𝑺𝒑𝒆𝒄𝒊𝒂𝒍 𝑴𝒆𝒏𝒖

The monthly menu for March, as curated by CHEF DE CUISINE Fulgence Carême, will be available for a limited time alongside the regular menu with meat, fish, vegetarian, as well as vegan options for our staff.

BREAKFAST (6AM - 10:30 AM)

Sausage Royale Croissant Roll with cheddar cheese, beef sausage patty, two strips bacon, fried egg. Garnished with dill and parsley. With spiced ketchup to taste.

Salmon Belly Royale Croissant Roll with wild salmon, crème fraîche, spinach and collard green hollandaise, topped with ikura-style salmon roe and salmon skin cracklings.

Mushroom Royale Croissant Roll (V) with grilled portobello, cremini, and king oyster mushrooms, crispy shallots, onion jam, and a herby rosemary sauce.

LUNCH (12 PM - 5 PM)

Cheese & Leek Croquettes with yukon gold potatoes, confit pearl onions, and black garlic chips.

Soft-shell Crab Tempura Burger with deep-fried whole soft-shell crab, pickled cabbage, sorrel, arugula, iceberg lettuce, ponzu vinaigrette or parmesan mayo. Comes with old bay fries.

Heirloom Tomato Preserve Flatbread (V) with arkansas traveler, aunt ruby's german green, hillbilly, and purple calabash varieties. Comes with olive oil and balsamic vinegar dip.

DINNER (5 PM - CLOSE)

Slow-roasted Pistachio Lamb with mint and pistachio crusted lamb leg, roasted cauliflower and new potatoes, horseradish cream, and truffle-infused gravy.

Pan-seared Yuzu Scallops with hazelnuts, clementine slices, and yuzu beurre blanc sauce. Comes with a light slaw salad.

Crispy Hen-of-the-Woods Mushroom Platter (V) with a medley of grilled wild mushrooms, artichokes, asparagus, and quinoa-wild rice pilaf. Garnished with walnuts and vegan pesto.

DESSERT Fresh seasonal berries with Chai-spiced Clotted Cream with strawberries, blueberries, currants, blackberries, and gooseberries. Chai spice contains clove, cinnamon, nutmeg, cardamom, and ginger.

Coffee Caramel Frozen Brazo de Mercedes with blended coffee ice cream, peanuts, cashews, and warm caramel sauce.

Vegan Raspberry Coconut Mousse Parfait (V) with silken tofu, agave syrup, raspberries, and layered with vegan dark chocolate cookie crumble, and topped with roasted coconut shavings.

𝑾𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝑾𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈

All personnel please be advised that there is a WEATHER WARNING in effect from 0100 to 2400 on March 29th; heavy cloud cover is expected to sock in during the early hours, accompanied shortly by freezing rain and sleet. Blizzard conditions should be in full force before 0500. Barring direct orders from Site Director Osterholz or, if applicable, MTFC 𝑆𝑀𝑂𝑂𝑇𝐻 𝑂𝑃𝐸𝑅𝐴𝑇𝑂𝑅, any unnecessary outdoor activities should be curtailed. Remain indoors. Do not be alarmed when blinds are lowered and locked in position; this is normal procedure at Site-φ in the case of extreme weather. There is nothing to see in the snow. You are not missing out.

𝑪𝒉𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒏𝒖𝒕𝒔 𝒓𝒐𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒐𝒏 𝒂 𝑺𝒊𝒕𝒆-𝑨𝒑𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒅 𝑭𝒊𝒓𝒆

by SECURITY CAPTAIN J. Kato

How about that forecast, Site-φ! In honor of what’s probably going to be the last blizzard of the spring (don’t hold me to that, I’m no meteorologist! :D) Site Security will be hosting a bonfire at the campground the evening of March 28th. Come get cozy before the storm hits! BYOTTB (Bring Your Own Things* To Burn). *Adhering to all regulations re: flammable substances and safe use of the communal campground, found under Hazardous Materials (Reg. F-451) and Outdoor Recreation (Regs. C-10 through -14) in the Personnel Handbook.

RSVP! →

📍 all muses are welcome to attend this open event, taking place at the on-site campground on the evening of March 28th. These threads may be written whenever you like before the act closes, so long as they are dated to that time! several bonfires will be set and maintained by site-φ security personnel from nightfall to midnight. hot chocolate and non-alcoholic cider will be available; muses are welcome to bring food and/or shredder-ready paperwork, photographs of regrets, evidence of wrongdoings, unwanted papercrafts, and disappointing research to burn. there is also an optional interactive roll for a random [𝙲𝙻𝙰𝚂𝚂𝙸𝙵𝙸𝙴𝙳] element!

𝑭𝒓𝒂𝒏𝒌𝒊𝒆'𝒔 (𝑰𝒏)𝑭𝒂𝒎𝒐𝒖𝒔 𝑭𝒊𝒔𝒉

Following several hospitalizations linked to the most recent serving of Frankie’s Famous Fish last month, all waivers have been destroyed and future shipments of “fish” scratched from the order. Anyone who sees or smells “fish” should report this to Site Security. Site Administration would like to stress and remind personnel not to try Frankie’s Famous Fish at the cafeteria; do not believe the rumors the dish gives you powers if you survive. If anyone has seen Frankie, inform him that the HR Department and Director Osterholz desires a meeting. Immediately.

𝑫𝒆𝒇𝒆𝒏𝒔𝒆 𝑺𝒆𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒂𝒓 & 𝑪𝒐𝒎𝒃𝒂𝒕 𝑹𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒆𝒔𝒔 𝑨𝒔𝒔𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒕

The Security Department will continue to offer self-defense and weapons handling classes. Additionally, Op. 𝐷𝑌𝐼𝑁𝐺 𝐵𝑅𝐸𝐸𝐷 has been ordered to conduct combat readiness assessments on all members of MTF Chi-00. When asked for comment, he replied: “That so?” and stated that they should “Be on time.” Requests for elaboration were met with a smile, precisely one nod, and what may have been a laugh. Additional, remedial seminars can be arranged with Captain Kato in advance of your assessment.

BOOK A TIME! →

𝐿𝑎𝑏 𝐴𝑝𝑝𝑜𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑚𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑠

Lab spaces may still be booked through the Head of Research at Site-φ. Please let them know what you intend to research, and be advised that lab space is in slightly shorter than usual supply due to “a Newt-related incident.” Newt, who is a good dog, does not understand what this could be referring to. Neither does anyone else who was in the lab at the alleged time of the incident. Head of research insists that Newt “knows what he did.”

SUBMIT A REQUEST! →

📍 players are welcome to request a lab space for their researchers by contacting rp mgmt. please note that requesting a space as a themis member would immediately jump the line of the other scientists at the site. some themis researchers, depending on their prestige, may be given a full team of lab assistants to aid in their noble pursuit to secure, contain, and protect.

𝑾𝒂𝒍𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝑪𝒍𝒖𝒃 𝑺𝒊𝒈𝒏-𝑼𝒑𝒔

The Walking Club, a group of highly-intelligent pack of dogs, is looking for new members! remember — DON’T WALK ALONE. That is a formal directive, not a request. Joining the Walking Club is especially critical given the WEATHER WARNING soon to be in effect; any personnel who need to move between site buildings while the WARNING is active must contact the Walking Club. The correct way to contact the Walking Club is to step through the nearest door, close it behind you,* and whistle as loud as possible. If you are not a good whistler, that is okay! There is no such thing as a bad whistle if you put your heart into it! The Walking Club will still hear you and arrive shortly. *If Newt has chosen you as his walking buddy, you are advised to brace yourself against the door before whistling, to prevent injury.

𝑺𝒊𝒕𝒆-φ 𝑱𝒐𝒃 𝑩𝒐𝒂𝒓𝒅

The following “odd jobs,” which are in no way “odd” or “unusual,” are currently available, on an as-available, non-urgent basis, personnel schedules permitting. Consider being a Site-φ neighbor and lend a hand if you can!

GROW-LIGHT GARDEN ASSISTANT posted by HEAD GARDENER S. Oz Do you appreciate site-acceptable greenery? Do you feel “well”? Do you enjoy communing with the earth, unto which our mortal flesh will someday return, if we are lucky? Join the Grow-Light Garden Staff! BRING: your own garden-ready gloves and/or knee pads. DO NOT BRING: negative energies. Seriously. Do not. For everyone's sakes. EDIT: This position has been filled.

SUPPORT ARCHIVIST posted by HEAD LIBRARIAN and ARCHIVIST Dr. W. Zai While Junior Archivist M. Leitner recovers from unwise choices as regards his seafood intake, the Site-φ archives are in need of additional hands. These hands will, ideally, be experienced in standard archival procedures. EDIT: This position has been filled.

CONTACT NOW! →

📍 players are welcome to pick up supplemental odd jobs during their time at site-φ. you can pick up an odd job by contacting rp mgmt. however, please note that these listings are first-come, first-serve, and muses may be fired from their position if they are unable to fulfill the job’s requirements (posting a monthly prompt). however, these positions may also reveal more of site-φ’s mysteries. there is also an optional interactive roll for a random [𝙲𝙻𝙰𝚂𝚂𝙸𝙵𝙸𝙴𝙳] element!

𝑫𝒊𝒓𝒆𝒄𝒕𝒐𝒓 𝑶𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒉𝒐𝒍𝒛'𝒔 𝑨𝒅𝒗𝒊𝒔𝒐𝒓𝒚 𝑨𝒏𝒏𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒄𝒆𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒕

𝑹𝑬: 𝑭𝑹𝑨𝑻𝑬𝑹𝑵𝑰𝒁𝑨𝑻𝑰𝑶𝑵

by DIRECTOR B. Osterholz

Good evening. It has been brought to my attention that our new additions here at Site-φ may be in need of a reminder as to the appropriateness of fraternization among personnel at this highly clandestine installation. To reiterate what was stated during onboarding and in the welcome brochure: “making eyes,” “canoodling,” and/or “partaking in the horizontal tango” with fellow staff members is not allowed at Site-φ. As you all know, the nature of our work demands absolute dedication and focus. Surely any rumors of anyone engaging in such acts on-site are, indeed, no more than crass rumors to razz the newcomers.

𝑺𝒊𝒕𝒆-φ 𝑩𝒊𝒓𝒕𝒉𝒅𝒂𝒚𝒔, 𝑨𝒏𝒏𝒊𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒂𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒔, 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑷𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒐𝒏𝒂𝒍 𝑪𝒆𝒍𝒆𝒃𝒓𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔

Due to the sheer number of staff here at Site-φ, acknowledgments in the Phi-thon are through user submission. Thank you for celebrating your fellow Phi-thons.

𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝑃ℎ𝑖-𝑡ℎ𝑜𝑛 𝑤𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑤𝑖𝑠ℎ 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑓𝑜𝑙𝑙𝑜𝑤𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎… 𝐻𝐴𝑃𝑃𝑌 𝐵𝐼𝑅𝑇𝐻𝐷𝐴𝑌! JUNIOR ENGINEER K. MADDOW, March 4th Happy b-day, K!!! Engi life is the best life! Couldn’t have made that particle blaster without ya! See you at Holly’s, a round on us! — Your pals at Engineering. ASSISTANT RESEARCHER C. VATYA, March 13th The Site-φ Researcher will be 50 this year. Thank you for all your hard work, encouragement, and good humor. From all of us in the 'Pataphysics Wing of Research and Development, we wish our fellow a happy birthday. WELLNESS COUNSELOR J. Oyuun, March 20th “The best gift you could possibly give me is to attend your mandatory wellness assessment. Anything more extravagant would, in fact, be inappropriate, given the nature of our strictly counselor-to-client relationship. But I also wouldn’t say no to more crayons or holographic stickers from that one place in Hōuston…”

MTF CHI-00 OPERATIVE 52 PICKUP, March 20th Happy birthday. From a secret admirer.

If you’d like to announce or contribute to our monthly newsletter, contact the Phi-thon via SCiPNET. →

📍 players are welcome to guest write or submit an in-character announcement for the monthly newsletter by contacting rp mgmt! reach out to us for more details.

Please enjoy a complimentary All You Can Brunch Buffet Ticket from us at the Phi-thon. Please note these tickets are valid for one person for one-time use. As Director Osterholz has advised in previous Phi-thon issues, ticket trading is not permitted on Site-φ.

📌 OOC GUIDELINES & HINTS!

These listings are supplemental features for enhancing your experience immersing into Site-φ’s world. Feel free to interact in any shape or form, be it directly or indirectly referencing them for open and closed starters, pager chats, self-paras... and even doing TTRPG rolls, or conversing with the NPCs 1-on-1! Based on your muse’s movements, new information, features, and subplots may be unlocked as these plot points develop. This game is responsive to you; your actions will directly affect the environment. All in all, however you wish to spend your time at Site-φ, we hope that it'll be a fun and memorable experience!

#fhq.plot #fhq.phithon #fhq.plot.1.1

8 notes · View notes

guccifrog · 4 months

Note

bae im on my monthly ketchup dispenser era 😔🙏 pray for me pls

omg hope you're doing good sugar boo I finished mine last week 🙏😕

8 notes · View notes

cavalrysystem · 4 months

Text

The human Dreemur children

Photo ID in alt

Photo ID by: @ketchup-monthly

If you like, please reblog! <3

#undertale #chara undertale #chara dreemur #kris dreemurr #kris deltarune #frisk undertale #frisk dreemur #undertale characters #undertale fanart #fanart #fandoms #artistry #digital drawing #photo id in alt #digital art #undertale fandom

6 notes · View notes

lunnar-phantom2 · 2 years

Text

Sorry but I just...I just...Yeah, I needed to do this -w-

@frans-monthly

April:Meme

I know it's sad to admit but Sans's true love will always be ketchup

181 notes · View notes

yutaleks · 3 months

Note

here to curse everyone with my crackships again since it's 5am and i can't sleep 😀

okay so remember sukuna and toge in this cursed au where they're dating and sukuna once asked toge "what size pussy you wear"

anyway one day toge was having his monthly fight with mother nature but was also very horny, but also didn't want sukuna to fuck him, so sukuna just rolled his eyes and got toge off with some good old fingering 💚 toge said it'd be dirty and he rolled his eyes again and said "i'll just wash it off ffs 🙄"

hope i've cursed everyone

(they almost had period sex one day but toge ruined the mood by saying "omg it's gonna be ketchup mayo". sukuna said no sex for a week after that 😔)

KETCHUP MAYO 💀 toge get outta here LMFAO I felt him tho for some reason periods were always a time to be unbearably horny 💀 I find their relationship so silly like sukuna is such a funny individual and toge is a gremlin like how crazy would they be together 😭

#ϟ asking aleksandria #fwb anon #sukuinu #is that their ship name? LOL

3 notes · View notes

blueikeproductions · 7 months

Text

Based on observations a friend of mine and I have had about comic books:

-Fry and Farnsworth are thumbing through a New New York newsstand. Farnsworth looking at delivery ship monthly and some science magazines while Fry thumbs though the comics rack-

Fry: Huh the comic choices are kinda slim, Professor…

Farnsworth: What do you mean, Fry? -Looks up from a stock magazine with a sexy pin up of Mom on the cover-

Fry: I get Goku and Pikachu being part of the comics rack on the newsstand, but TinTin and Asterix? Where’s all the Batman and Spider-Man stuff.

Farnsworth: After the great Comics Collapse of 2026, European comics took over the market left behind by cape comics. Iron Man may have undone the Snap, but he couldn’t undo the damage to the Big Two… Oh boy! The new Maus! Maus: Me Two’d!

Fry: -winces a bit and picks up a Judge Dread comic- I think I'll just read 4000AD.

Farnsworth: Suit yourself. Oh! Cubert will enjoy this. -picks up a comic with Ash and Pikachu riding on Dialga- Pokémon: 3,000 Years & Still 10. Oh that rascal, Ash Ketchup. Truly a timeless literary hero.

#blueike productions #blueike #futurama

3 notes · View notes

tsuga-of-mars · 2 years

Text

Gallacrafts - Choose your own space adventure 🚀🌌🔫🌠

You guys know I love my mixed media paper crafts for @gallacrafts, and I even got to incorporate another thing I love, outer space. So excited to have the chance to goo back to a pervious theme as I missed out on the start of this wonderful monthly fun. I picked October 2021: choose your own adventure

And even a short fic to go with it !

As Tami enters the back door into the Gallagher kitchen, she is immediately suspicious as both Lip and Debbie are relaxing at the table childless. Even though they were supposedly tag teaming kid duty today, while she worked a full bridal party at the salon this Saturday.

Debbie is scrolling her phone while munching on a plate of snacks, that were probably at one point Franny and Fred’s. Lip on the other hand is busy with his latest knitting project, concentrating hard on the green yarn transforming into another kids hat in his lap.

“Alight, I gotta know, what have you two done with the kids?”

The pair of siblings finally acknowledge that she’s in the room and give her a quick and hurried “Shhh”, then point into the living room.

Quietly Tammi peaks around the corner, at first seeing no one. Then hears quite giggles and exaggerated imitation explosion sounds. All that can be seen are four sets of shoes, two large and two small peaking out from under the star blanket that covers the hiding space under the front stairs.

Mickey’s brown boots are farthest away from her with a pair of tiny red shoes, belonging to her son, wiggling excitedly slotted between the larger ones. Obviously enjoying whatever game is taking place while sitting in his uncle’s lap. Even Tami gets a kick out of how much her little Freddie has taken to him lately, and the fact that Lip still gets all flustered over it.

The extra-large sneakers bookending small bouncing purple ones confirm that Franny too is having a blast with her uncles and cousin under the stairs. Lately the little redhead has taken every opportunity to team up with her just as redheaded uncle when she can, clamming ‘us gingers need to stick together’, how can Ian say no to that.

Standing silently beside the chair she hears an epic space battle unfold.

“Okay Fred, should we fire the mustard or ketchup phasers?

“Kat!”

“Ketchup it is! Ready, Fire!”

“Your hotdog rocket is no match for our slime ship Mick!”

“Yeah! Our slime ship!”

“Come on Fran, get the slime bombs ready for attack.”

“Good thing our outer bun haul will protect us from your gross ass ship”

“Gooos!”

“Shoot em, get em Fran!”

“Incoming! Pew Pew!”

“Come on little man, we’ll swing outta the way behind these fucking weird popcorn asteroids!”

“Voom voom”

The strange, yet entertaining adventure continues in the living room as Tami returns to the kitchen.

“How long have they been under there?” she whispers to Lip

“At least an hour, but I’ll take the free babysitting”

#gallacrafts #throwback theme #theme 13 #favourite uncles #gallavich #choose your own adventure #uncle ian #uncle mickey #Yes I will always support that Freddie loves Mickey and its irritating to Lip but Ian finds it adorable.#Look at all the dialogue I wrote this time #Now that I'm done with this months craft I can pack up all my art stuff for the big move next week.

33 notes · View notes