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myfriendcallsmeasickwoman19 · 2 years

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ALL GONE

@irathgo @smellofsnoww @luna-rein

*************

All alone in his old room her sat in silence holding his parents picture in his hands. A stoic sadness on his face. He'd cried enough for them already.

Edna and Evren with their son Keir age 8.

That's what was written at the back. He had a large smile on his face that was covered in so much face paint his mothers wouldn't recognize him.

They went to some kid event. It was a nice day despite the heat.

He put the picture down and stared at the room one last time. It looked the same. It was in his name so no one would take it. Also, they were all too scared of some supernatural bull they thought might happen due to the previous owners demise. Whatever as long as no one touches his mothers house.

Even though he cared for it. He hadn't been here for years. Too many memories, mainly of the day they died. It doesn't smell like them anymore. The cleaners were too much.

His room though is still the same. The same decorations,the same paint, the same clothes and the same emptiness.

He didn't come here to mop, he came here to say something.

"Mom, mother." He called, his tone had no hope.

The next line wasn't so soft as he spoke. It was hateful but calm.

"I'm doing it. I'm destroying them. I'm avenging you." He declared.

"They'll suffer for hurting you and taking what I love from me."

Silence. Of course there was no response. But he told them what he wanted them to hear.

****************

Keir opened his eyes slowly.

He fell asleep.

He opened his eyes some more. Still in his old room. It was dark outside and the lights were on. Who turned them on? He got off the bed, rubbing his eyes as he reached for his phone, he checked the time,07:05pm. He's been sleeping for a long time.

He stretched and got ready to leave.

He paused. There was a sound outside. He's sure he was alone.

It was laughter. The more he heard the more he couldn't believe it.

He rushed out of his room and into the dining room.

Sitting there were the two most important women in his life.

His mothers. Edna sat at the table, her pink hair tied up. She was much larger compared to her wife who was sitting next to her. The blue haired woman was holding her wife's hand a cheerful smile on her face.

"Mom, mother." He exclaimed and they both looked back with smiles on their faces.

"Silly boy, you've been sleeping for so long you nearly missed supper." Edna scolded him.

"Sit down. Your mom is nearly done." Evren said.

He gave her bittersweet smile. He knows it's not real but if he can enjoy his mother's company he doesn't care if it's a dream.

He nodded with tears filling his eyes.

"You're crying like we've been gone for years." Edna said. She sniffled herself. "Now what's this you're making me cry as well." She wiped away her tears. "I know we've been gone but you don't have to make it so hard on us."

Edna's wife put her arm around her. "It's okay honey, he's just missed us that's why he's crying." Evren consoled her wife.

"I know and I've missed him too." She buried her head in her wife's shoulder as the tears accumulated.

Keir sat down, a smile still on his face while he watched his mother's with tears in his eyes.

"I… missed you.. so much.." he said to them. Between tears.

"Both of you are weak." Evren said. But she was looking the other direction away from her son.

Keir laughed.

"Oh yeah mother. Then look at me." He challenged.

"Who are you to tell your mother what to do?" Evren said as she failed to hide her voice crack.

"I'm her son. One that's missed her." He answered.

Evren looked back at him with tears in her own eyes.

"Come here." She said holding her other hand out.

He rushed over and hugged his mother. Evren kissed his hair.

"You look so handsome." She told him.

He simply nodded and smiled.

"Handsome?" Edna protested as she pulled back. Her eyes red from the crying, she wiped the tears away.

"Look at how much weight is lost. People will start saying that I can't take care of my son." She argued.

Evren smiled. "You're not taking care of him anymore." She reminded her.

"That's why he's losing so much weight." Edna insisted.

He sat back down, still smiling. A scolding from them was the best thing.

"Didn't I teach you to cook?" Edna began. "Why were you always asking me to show you if you can't even use my lessons? Are you saying my cooking is not good?"

He shook his head. He couldn't help but smile even though he was getting yelled at.

"No mom." He told her. "I'm sorry. You know I think your cooking is the best."

"Then why don't you cook for yourself?"

"It reminds me of you." He answered her.

The tears welled up in Edna's eyes again. "foolish boy." She said as she turned away again.

Evren smiled at her wife. Then turned to her son. He had lost weight and he looked tired.

"How have you been?" She asked him.

He didn't answer, didn't know what to say. It hasn't been easy but he's alive.

"Surviving." He said.

"That's not good. You haven't made any friends?" She asked again.

"A few."

"Oh that's good."

He nodded.

"Tell me about them."

"There's Theo and there's Choolwe." He began. "Also another friend but his top secret and stuff."

Evren could see he liked them from the smile on his face.

He told them about his two friends. They listened attentively as he rambled about his loyal and trusted friends. Choolwe was beautiful, strong and caring. Theo was sarcastic, smart and though he seems harsh, he's very caring.

"I'm happy to hear you found a new family." Evren said at the end.

He looked at her confused.

"No mother, you're my family I don't have another." He said.

They both smiled. "We are still your family but you also need a new family." Evren said and Edna nodded.

"We're gone sweetheart. You need to move on." Edna said. It seemed like they both began to disappear slowly.

He frowned and rushed over to them. He held both their hands and it felt like they were both fading away from him.

"No mom, no. I don't need a new family." He cried. "I need you. Please mom, mother."

She touched his hair, stroking it gently.

"Don't go." He pleaded.

"It's okay sweetheart." Evren consoled him. She kissed his dark hair.

"But…. But…. What if they leave too?" That's what he doesn't want again, he doesn't want to lose anyone else.

"You have to make sure they don't." Edna said.

************

He suddenly awoke from his dream. The tears were still in his eyes.

He was still in his room. He wiped the tears as he sat himself up on the bed.

"Damn it." He muttered as the tears kept flowing.

There was a figure that stood at the door watching him.

"Have a bad dream?" Theo asked as he watched his friend.

Keir didn't look up at Theo. "No… not really…" he said. He shook his head and then stood up. Ready to go.

"You actually let me sleep." Keir said as he walked out of the house.

"You haven't really done it in a while." Theo replied.

He just shook his head and continued on. "Let's get this over with." He said and Theo shook his head with a sigh.

Keir got in the car and Theo was in the seat next to him.

"Come on you have to stop this." Theo began again.

Keir gave him a side eye but didn't answer. He was determined to end this the right way.

Theo didn't say anything else.

Keir stopped the car in the underground parking lot.

For a moment he sat in silence and then Theo came again. Keir looked over at his friend one more time. He smiled as he cried and Theo's image blurred.

"What's up with you?" Theo asked in his usual snarky voice.

He wiped the tears away. "Nothing man, nothing." He just smiled at Theo.

"Wow you're smiling." Theo exclaimed with shock.

"You've seen me smile before." Keir argued.

"Yeah but not like that. I don't even think Jason has."

Keir didn't respond. The smile turned into a frown.

"Does he know what you're planning?" Theo asked him.

"He doesn't have to." Keir responded.

Theo looked at him with sad eyes.

He just sat back down with Keir. Oh yeah he told him his name. Such a weird one, it means black in Irish. He says his mom named him that after looking at his hair. She sounds like a funny woman.

"Hey Theo." Keir said.

Theo looked over at him. "Yeah." He answered.

"Thanks for everything man." He said as the tears appeared in his eyes again. "Wait for me."

Theo just smiled and nodded then his image faded away.

Keir broke down. Crying, cursing and screaming in the car.

***********

Theo was killed right in front of his mom and dad and Choolwe was blown up in her car. James pushed him out of the way and they gunned him down in his place.

They're gone and he's alone again. It was for his parents and he dragged them into this. Theo's parents told him to stop and Choolwe didn't have to do this. She could have lived her life.

Why did he have to be selfish,why did he have to pull them deeper and deeper in his plot.

He lost everything, everything is gone again and it's his fault.

"You couldn't save them!!" He yelled, his voice rough and wet. "You selfish bastard!!"

**************

*There was an explosion at different locations, there were plenty of casualties and many people lost their lives. Some of them were workers and high ranking members of various companies.

The last explosion happened at the company's headquarters and brought the entire building down. The culprit is a young man, in his 20s. The police couldn't identify him given how badly burned his body was. This being due to the fact that he was closest to the blast.*

Mainshi turned the TV off. She just sat on her couch. Staring blankly at the black screen.

This isn't how it was supposed to end.

#bad ending #game over #keir #Theo #Choolwe #James #character death #au #this ending will never happen #sadness #I'm crying and i wrote it

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gccdstories · 3 months

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//cousins!! Keir had 3 siblings, Andulvar for Hypaxia, and two younger sisters, Sarai - Estelle, Peresephone (and Helion but he's not here), and Silba - who has Amaya. Amaya is the oldest cousin? Everyone kinda loves her? Idk she's very no nonsense but also patient with people//

Audun moved through the cells, stopping before Amaya. She rose her head, he'd been hounding her nightmares for the last 11 years.

She'd been his sole thought for the last 11 years.

He slid eyes to the adjoining cell, where her cousins sat. They glared at him, one of them was mated, he could smell the putrid stink of it.

Changeling Marked.

He turned to her, his hands curling on the bars of the cell.

"Will you deny me now?"

Amaya shut her eyes, tears falling down her face.

"Will you let them go?"

"Both of them? What of the Unmated one. You sure she won't follow in your -"

Amaya stood, finally stepping toward him. His breath caught and his grip tightened on the cell bars.

"She won't. Let them go Audun."

His fingers trailed over her cheek, she turned away. Her tears catching on his fingers. The fierce warrior, the Queen Dawn should have. The only female of the lot worthy of Firmament Throne.

"I had so many ideas of how we'd meet, how I'd take you Amaya. You'd be on your knees, you'd beg. You'd come to me dressed in one of those pretty, impractical dresses I'd be able to rip off you like tissue paper."

He leaned toward her, she was trembling. So she was still a female where it counted, good.

"I thought I'd still do that tonight. But no, no I want to take what you're wearing now. I want to strip you of your armor and have you realize just what you're giving up for females don't matter."

She swallowed, finally looking to him. There was terror in those wide eyes. There were that thread of hopelessness. Both dissapered as that fire flared in her eyes.

"Release them Audun. Please?"

There it was, the first break in her voice.

Estelle and Peresephone glared at him.

"We aren't leaving our sister so fuck off."

Audun sighed and grabbed their magic. Making them scream, or maybe it was Amaya.

He Windwalked them away, dropping them close to their camp and dissapered.

Estelle and Peresephone didn't wait to catch their breath. They ran into the camp, most of the soldiers had gone to the front lines, they hadn't been told of them.

Rhysand frowned at them, dropping his glass into the dirt. He didn't like his father's side of the family, they all had good luck. They were all alive when his Helena was dead.

"What happened to you two? Weren't you in the outpost in -"

"Amaya's been taken."

Estelle said, the hope made his heart twist. What did she think he could do? What did any of them think he could do?

Why should he care?

Sure Amaya was probably the cousin he was closest too. Sure, she was a fierce warrior and -

"Her Mate has her Rhysand. She - he's going to break her in."

Peresephone didn't cry easily, there were tears in her eyes now. Her hands trembled.

He'd thought her mating to a changeling, to one of the Wolves would harden her further. But that seemed to have made her softer.

She stepped toward him, there wasn't anger just a silent plea.

"Please? Please I know you don't like what we are doing. I know what you think of Hypaxia. But Amaya can be saved, Amaya is pure. Hypaxia? I get it, she's a whore who will leave Azriel the minute she finds someone better. But Amaya is good, and they're going to shatter her."

//during the war!!! Rhys is 25? I was thinking this morning what if Rhys and Helena were twins? They seem so close. And she died when they were 19? Idk.//

Rhysand listened to what they said; how had no one figured out they were missing? He supposed it didn't matter how. The point still remained. No one had, fates only knew how long they'd been gone, and now...

He wished he could feel pity, fear--something other than the numbness that had overtaken him ever since Helena's death. He wished it mattered to him, what happened to Amaya. But the only thing Rhysand found he could feel these days was rage. Utter and all-consuming, complete rage.

And yet, he couldn't even summon that right now.

❝ And I'm supposed to do what about it? ❞ he muttered, Rhysand's eyes darkening as he glared at the two of them. He shook his head as they continued.

❝ There is no one good in this world. Not anymore. ❞

@siderealxmelody

#asks ;; leave a message for the muses #siderealxmelody #muse ;; rhysand

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musicallibrarian93 · 3 years

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Mor x Emerie

Mor Starts coming to training more often after her business with Vallahan is finished.

She’s always the one to get Emerie from Windhaven. The days when Mor doesn’t get her Emerie is noticeably sad.

Nesta, much like her sister is a busybody who wants to play match maker and notices this and encourages them to be sparring partners.

Mor has so much respect for Emerie and recognises her as one of the greatest Illyrian warriors. She’s in awe of how Emerie went against everything she grew up with.

Emerie is in awe of Mor and her ability to fight while still looking like a Goddess.

One day when they’re training, Mor’s shirt lifts enough for Emerie to see the scar on her stomach and when her gaze lingers, Mor just explains that she was not always so fortunate to live in Velaris.

Emerie swears to her that she will kill every single person who hurt her. (Cassian and Azriel watch this exchange and nearly cower into the background, knowing that her offer was just, if not, more sincere as their vows to Mor over the years.)

Mor tells her that they’re not worthy of being killed by one of the greatest warriors in history.

They become really great friends, but don’t admit what they’re feeling.

Nesta and Gwyn never push her, but when she’s sad or down they arrange girls nights and let her know that when she wants to talk about it, if she wants to talk about it, they’ll be there.

Cassian and Azriel aren’t clueless either but they won’t push Mor either, even when they go dancing at Rita’s together, often the same nights the girls have girls nights, and Mor doesn’t even glance look at anyone else.

Mor’s set to visit Hewn City, and tells Emerie when she’s dropping her off after training that she won’t be taking her to training the following morning - the conversation goes as follows

“When do you leave?”

“In a few hours, I have yet to find a dress to disappoint my father.”

“Why?”

“Clothes hold power, I want him to know that what he thinks, means nothing to me.” Emerie thinks, that that's how she felt about her father too.

“I’m sure you could wear anything and you’d be able to bring an entire army to their knees.”

“It wouldn’t make a difference, especially if my father is granted permission into Velaris.”

“I know it’s not much, but you always have a safe place here, Morrigan, no matter what, no matter the time of day. You could show up at my door whenever and you would have a safe place.”

Mor can’t help it, overcome with emotion she kisses Emerie and the two stand in the back room of the shop, out of sight from anyone, wrapped in each other. Emerie hears the shop door open and pulls away instantly to see the customer but when she returns to the back room, Mor has already gone.

After her visit to Hewn City, Mor visits Emerie first and the sight of her at the door makes Emerie want to fall to her knees. She leads her into the shop and upstairs to her private living room. Mor apologises for kissing her and Emerie tells her to stop talking as she walks to her once more and kisses her again. Slower this time.

The two continue to share their time together. Emerie confesses that she doesn’t really know what she’s doing, she’s never been with a female before but had always felt attracted to them. Mor confesses everything to her and Emerie holds her the whole time.

Their friends aren’t blind but they say nothing. Waiting till the pair are ready. Rhys is still a bit clueless though.

Cassian and Azriel feel guilty for whatever they’ve been doing for the past 500 years, as if they were the ones hindering Mor from being her true self.

Mor asks Emerie a few months in to their relationship if she can tell Feyre but Emerie is frightened. They decide to keep it quiet.

Some kind of meeting occurs with Eris, Keir and the night court, Emerie comes too, acting as a bodyguard of sorts, but the truth was Mor wanted her there for emotional support.

Keir says something offensive to Emerie (cos he’s a piece of shit) and Mor moves to kill him, the first time she has seriously made a move to kill her father, but is halted by Feyre who looks between Mor and Emerie and winnows them back to Velaris.

It’s Azriel who finds her after she’s been crying for hours, Emerie was taken back to wind haven by Feyre only moments ago, and Mor knows he knows. He’s scared. He doesn’t want her to feel like she has to say anything, so he shushes her when she tries to tell him and tells her that he loves her and he will be there for her when she’s ready.

She cries more and apologises for the past 5 centuries, he holds her and apologises too.

After a few more months of training, of Mor and Emerie growing closer and falling more and more in love, on an incredibly insignificant day, Mor and Emerie decide it’s time to tell their friends and family. Nothing particularly triggered it, they just knew the time was right.

Over the months Emerie and Gwyn had become closer to the inner circle, but the three females still have their own little bond.

At a big family dinner, Mor stands and says - ‘we know most you have probably guessed, but we’ve decided to officially tell you that we’re together.’

Everyone cheers

Cassian jokingly says ‘finally’ as he plants a kiss on Mor’s cheek

Azriel has the biggest smile on his face

Nesta and Gwyn hug their sister and let her know how happy they are for her

Amren hugs Mor, everyone is pretty sure that they’ve never seen Amren Hug anyone

Rhys is dumbfounded but gives his cousin the biggest hug, with tears streaming down his face.

Feyre holds Mor’s hands, also with tears in her eyes. She mumbles something about how she’s happy Nyx gets to grow up with such powerful aunt to inspire him.

Mor finally feels home. And though it would be a while before they declared it to the world, Mor and Emerie are so happy and overcome with love as they share they’re happiness with their family.

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thespianbooks · 3 years

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A Court of Nightmares and Starlight //Chapter 22//

Masterlist

(tags: @thron3ofbooks, @df3ndyr, @courtofjurdan, @art-e-mis, @herondamnn, @the-third-me, @im-still-trying-here, @emikadreams, @paytin77, @mis-lil-red, @sleeping-and-books, @lucieisabooknerd, @amandaraey-sunshine, @easy-p-lemon, @azymondias05, @dagypsygirl, @makeshift-utopia) *bold tags don’t work ;-;

Just in time for ACOSF’s release tomorrow! Enjoy chapter 22!

XXX

The entire estate was abuzz with activity in preparation for the encounter with Keir and his legion of rebels. As predicted, once Rhys and the other High Lords had lifted the wards from our armed forces, Kallon alerted the steward and frantically gathered the Illyrian numbers he rallied for his rebellion. We had all been surprised when Azriel's reports indicated that those numbers had dropped—not significantly, but enough to know that we now had an advantage over the Illyrians. Those who abandoned Kallon's Illyrian rebels appeared at neither camp, leaving Cassian to assume they were remaining indifferent to either side. Regardless, they would be dealt with after this ordeal.

Through this nightmare, my heart not only ached for my mate—for the pain he endured knowing it was his mother's people who sought to betray him, but for Cassian as well. He commanded those armies, fought at their side through two wars, trained in their camps and, in spite of their ire, sought their approval. Their losses were his as well, and he took the brunt of the blame onto himself, along with their distaste. From the beginning, I saw the pain that swirled behind those hazel eyes; knowing despite everything he did, how hard he tried, they saw him as nothing more than a bastard-born Illyrian and aspired to bring him and his brothers down.

In the two days it took for Keir and his Darkbringers to arrive at Ironcrest, amidst the frenzy that ensued at the estate while every High Lord present worked and met with us in order to prepare, I tried time and time again to find a moment alone with Cassian. I wasn't sure what I would say, how I would comfort him, but I at least wanted to offer him some kind of support. He had spent the last several months, the duration of my pregnancy, trying to set me at ease; promising an end to the coup and the rebel Illyrians, all the while his own inner turmoil caused him a great deal of pain that was long-stemmed. It was my turn now to offer him some peace in the hours leading up to a confrontation he previously hoped would never occur.

By the time I managed to find the general, I had thought he was alone in the library—only seeing his winged shadow outside the double doors, until I heard Nesta's voice mingling with his in a tense and hushed conversation. I had been too far away from the doors to hear their discussion, but based on how impassioned my sister's low voice sounded, I knew better than to interrupt. Ever since opening up to me about her loss and her time with Cassian in the mountains, Nesta again began to warm towards me. She still held onto that powerful veneer, but I was glad to see that she no longer used it to push me away. Instead, she surprised my mate and I by showing up in Rhys's office with Cassian just moments before our morning meeting. With Keir and Kallon officially together at the Ironcrest camp, this would be our last assembly before all the High Lords and our forces left.

"I'll be going to this encounter," Nesta said after we concluded the session. "Since my sister is unable to travel in her condition, I will be going in her stead; as a representative of the High Lady of the Night Court."

I stared at her in disbelief, shocked that she not only acknowledged my position, but that she was volunteering to face a potentially violent conflict—for me. Despite the healthier state of mind she was in a decade later, I knew the events that took place with Hybern were still raw for her; as they still were for me. Yet here she was now, offering to represent my position in our court. I glanced at Cassian, but judging by his arrogant smirk, he already knew of her plans. I briefly exchanged a look with Rhys, a small smile on his face, but his eyes conveyed a very simple response: it was up to me.

I paused as I turned to look at my sister. Her chin set and hands clasped formerly across her abdomen as her grey-blue eyes stared intensely at mine. "Are you sure?" I asked, unable to help but be a little hesitant.

She simply nodded, unyielding. "It isn't right. For me to sit idle, when I am capable. After what happened last time-" she paused, thinking back to the attack on Velaris—when we had been housed safely in the Cabin with Elain. "You have your health, your youngling, to worry about. As your eldest sister, I can do more. I can represent you and your position in this court."

My eyes burned as I dipped my head in approval. "Thank you, Nesta."

"Well this will be a welcome addition," Helion mused. "Given how the Illyrians quake in her presence."

"Perhaps some may drop their weapons at the very sight of her," Thesan added.

"That may be wishful thinking," Tarquin said, though he too acknowledged the unnerving demeanor my sister possessed.

We all did, and knew that her attendance would no doubt send a clear message in this coup. Her powers were still unknown to us, whether she knew of them or not—she never said, but the lethal aura about her remained as strongly as it had the day she'd been made.

"If no one else has anything to add, then I say it's time," Rhys said with a look at the other High Lords, their entourages, and then at me.

My eyes still burned as I met his, my heart pounding in my chest and I wondered if he could hear it—feel it, down the bond. When no one else spoke up, he cleared his throat. "I will take Feyre up to the Cabin and meet you all at the designated camp just outside of Ironcrest," he said.

"I'll meet you there with Viviane and Eira once they are ready, it shouldn't be long, and your shadowsinger has shared the coordinates of where I should winnow," Kallias added.

Azriel nodded at the High Lord of Winter before addressing us. "I will bring Elain at the same time the High Lord and Lady of Winter arrive," he said quietly.

"Thank you Azriel," I said, quickly swiping at a stray tear.

The emotion laced in my words was indication enough for everyone to leave and attend to any last minute preparations. They were gone in a matter of seconds, but I hardly noticed; unable to look away from Rhys's violet eyes. With the room cleared, he stepped closer, holding my face gently as he brushed away the tears that began to fall in earnest.

"I know I can't go, but," I sniffed. "I don't know how I'll be able to part with you, knowing the danger you face. I...I…"

Rhys pressed his brow against mine as I wept and held me closer. For days my hormones had left me anxious for the moment my mate would leave with the others and put an end to Keir and his betrayal; so, I allowed myself to give into those emotions and the tears that accompanied them. These precious seconds in my mate's arms were just what I needed in order to feel at ease—to let him go while I stayed behind with our unborn child. Once my crying subsided, I lifted my eyes to his again and pulled back just enough to now hold his face in my hands and stare into his sparkling violet eyes.

"Don't let him get a rise out of you. You are a warrior, and warriors know when to pick their fights," I began, reiterating the very words he said to me during the war with Hybern. "Their crimes won't go unpunished. You are the High Lord of the Night Court, night triumphant. You go there, put an end to this treachery, and come back to me—to us, alive." I said fiercely, my voice quavering as our breaths mingled.

Rhysand's answering grin was slow as he nodded his head. "I swear it, High Lady," he said before pulling me into a deep kiss.

XXX

Even with my mate's promise, I couldn't help pacing about the living area of the Cabin once he, Kallias, and Azriel left. Elain and Viviane eyed me warily as I moved, Eira peacefully sleeping in a small cradle Viviane had brought along and placed just beside the leather sofa.

"Feyre, why don't you come rest?" Viviane urged as she stood, crossing over to where I had stopped pacing and began rubbing a sore spot on my lower back.

I shook my head. "I can't sit still," I said as my only reply.

It was true. The uncertainty of the events unfolding at this very moment left me restless. Until I knew Rhysand, our allies, and my friends and family were safe, I would remain on edge.

Viviane touched my shoulder gently. "You do know that walking around so vigorously can stimulate the body into going into early labor? If you keep pacing around here like this, you might very well give birth before the others return," she gave me a wry smile when I hesitated. "We don't want that now do we?"

I sighed in defeat and allowed her to help me back to the sofa, helping me lower myself onto the seat slowly.

Elain popped up just as I sat with a grunt, "I'll make us some tea!" However, just as she said that, a freshly brewed pot appeared on the table before us—along with three tea cups. She laughed nervously, remembering the magic that existed here, before going to pour us each a cup.

"I know it's hard not to worry, believe me," Viviane said as she sat beside me. "But think of it this way: this issue will finally be resolved."

I sighed in irritation. "That's all anyone has been telling me for days, what I've been telling myself," I snapped back, but immediately regretted it.

For her part, Viviane smiled in understanding-all too familiar with the quick shifts in mood that pregnancy caused.

"I just hate feeling like some kind of damsel in distress," I admitted.

"You are anything but, Feyre," Elain said as she handed me a cup.

She's right, my love

I nearly startled at the sound of Rhys's voice through the bond. Is it over? I asked in return.

His dark chuckle made me shiver. Unfortunately, we haven't started yet. We're on the front lines, waiting for Keir and Kallon to arrive

I gulped and knew this time he could feel my heart racing. I thought you might want to see things firsthand, rather than have me fill you in later

Through the bond, I felt his offering hand, dark talons beckoning me as I took it. His black adamant shields yielded to me, and a second later I was looking through my mate's eyes. From his peripheral vision, I could see Nesta standing immediately to his left while Mor and Amren stood at either side of them—Azriel and Cassian flanking them. Based on all our meetings, I knew the other High Lords, excluding Eris, were lined up just behind them. In spite of the crisp air in the Illyrian mountains, I could feel the sun on my mates' skin, could see it reflecting off his Illyrian leathers. Unlike my galloping heart, Rhys's was steady and calm; even as his sharp eyes picked up movement in the distance.

Slowly, arrogantly, Keir walked with Kallon and the commander of his Darkbringer army on either side of him. His hands were neatly folded behind his back, as they often were whenever we saw him at the Hewn City, his chin lifted proudly. Kallon at least had the sense to look a little intimidated at the sight of the three most powerful Illyrians in history on the opposite side of the battlefield; that intimidation probably coming not only from his lack of experience, but from his unexpected lack of numbers with the Illyrians. As he approached, I could see their soldiers following at a distance, but as the trio got closer, the troops stopped.

I could feel Rhys's muscles tense, wings flaring slightly at the steward's outright arrogance as he approached with a smug grin. I noticed Mor's own muscles go rigid, Amren and Nesta remained the picture of menacing ease, their cool facade's masking any rage they might've been feeling. Finally, with only a few dozen paces between them, Keir stopped in his tracks—meeting my mate face-to-face.

"Rhysand," the older male said by way of greeting.

I heard Mor growl from beside Rhys. "My lord," she corrected.

Keir didn't acknowledge her, his dark gaze penetrating as they stayed on mine—on Rhysand's.

"You forget yourself, Keir," he replied coolly, ever the embodiment of casual grace, even in the face of such blatant disrespect and deceit. "Since when do you address your High Lord by first name, and so casually too?"

The male seemed to ignore Rhys's words altogether, simply casting a glance over my mate's shoulder at the other High Lords aligned behind him—their forces also staged at an interval behind them.

"I see you've rallied this bunch. How you all actually managed to become friends after Hybern is truly a surprise to me," Keir scoffed, his disdain echoing for the word 'friends' in particular.

"Especially with that one," he motioned to Tamlin standing beside Tarquin at the far-right of the line.

I could feel Rhys's patience wavering, his dark powers seeping into his shadows and making them stir lightly. I ran my delicate fingertips along his shields to calm him, sending him another reminder: You are Night Triumphant. He is nothing.

"You openly plot against me, my mate, my crown, by rallying your army and joining with rebellious Illyrians in order to...what? Overthrow me? Kill me and take my throne as your own?" Rhys asked, his rage still in check for now.

"I've only come to take back what has rightfully belonged to my bloodline for centuries, before that ancestor of yours came along and claimed the seat of the High Lord for himself," Keir replied with a shrug of his shoulders. "It was one thing for your father to rule as High Lord, but to allow a half-breed disgrace to sully the throne? I have been complacent for far too long, especially now with that mate of yours carrying an abomination of such obscure proportions."

I felt Rhys hold back a growl, every ounce in his body wanting to retaliate for the threat against his mate, against me and our unborn child. Instead, he appeared outwardly unfazed. "You mean to demean my position by pointing out that I am half Illyrian, and yet here you are, allied with them," he said casually, his mask remaining the picture of ease.

"The Illyrians don't want a half-breed High Lord anymore than Keir and his lot do," Kallon spoke up. His voice was strong, but young, attesting to the inexperienced warrior that he was.

"You can come back once you've been around and bled for a few centuries, boy," Cassian retorted, all seven siphons flickering. "In the meantime, you're too wet behind the ears to speak on behalf of the Illyrians."

Keir shot Kallon a warning glance that silenced him. Turning back to Rhys, Keir straightened his shoulders, but before he could answer with some clever reply, Rhys cut him off with a laugh. A dark, whole-bodied guffaw that I had never heard come from him before. It was unscrupulous and dripped with condescension. I didn't have to see the rest of our party to feel the mood shift.

"Am I meant to be intimidated? You have your army of Darkbringers, who are assuredly substantial in numbers and skill, but yet ally yourself with the self-appointed leader of mutinous Illyrians, while said leader has only lived a couple of decades and has never seen the true course of battle," Rhys shook his head with another dark chuckle. "Perhaps the centuries haven't fared so well for you after all, it seems old age has made you lose all sense of reality"

The older male narrowed his gaze, darkened eyes igniting with contempt. "You think me a fool, Rhysand? That I wouldn't find a suitable ally outside these winged brutes?" Kallon's stare was seditious, but Keir ignored him and finally met Mor's gaze. "Perhaps, daughter, you would be glad to see another familiar face?"

Mor only raised an unamused brow at him, the sound of approaching footsteps coming from behind the group. Through my mate's eyes I saw Keir's widen as Eris stepped in line beside Tamlin; with the other High Lord's of Prythian he scoffed at only minutes before.

"Sorry about my pretty lies, Keir, but it was just too easy tricking another old male out of his sense of entitlement," Eris remarked, and though I couldn't see him, I could hear the hubris in his voice as he addressed the steward.

The male fumed at Eris's words, refusing to meet Rhysand's gaze as my mate took a step forward. "Surrender now, Keir. It's time to wake up and realize just how futile your efforts have been," Rhys said, the commanding voice of the most powerful High Lord in Prythian returning.

Of course, Keir continued to seethe as he returned a detestable look at Mor before finally facing Rhys again. He took a couple of steps forward, nostrils flaring as he spat, "You think I will yield so easily? I will correct the mistake I made centuries ago with you and murder that monstrosity your mate will bear in its cradle."

As soon as that last word came out of his mouth, everything seemed to move slowly. Blinding, white-hot rage exploded within my mate, but before he could even react, it was Mor that winnowed from his side in a split second to her father. She winnowed in behind him, an Illyrian dagger in hand, and stabbed him straight through the throat—blood splattering on her face as Keir's eyes widened again. He seemed to try and speak before Mor twisted the blade, pushing it further into his flesh. A wet, strangled sound came out of Keir's mouth as it filled with blood, Mor then kicked the back of his legs and sent him to his knees. I saw her mutter something into his ear, but couldn't hear the exact words before his body dropped to the ground in front of her.

As blood pooled from his throat, Mor stood over his body and didn't look up when Kallon shot to the skies, yelling orders to their Illyrian forces; the Darkbringer commander turning and shouting similar orders before drawing a blade aimed at Mor, who in her adrenaline-filled rage quickly pulled out her own and stabbed him through the gut. The last thing I heard was Cassian's own shouts before Rhys pushed me from his mind, sending me back to the Cabin without warning.

I gasped as though I had been holding my breath throughout the entire ordeal, grasping at my chest and stomach simultaneously as I heaved for breaths. Viviane and Elain were already at my side, but I couldn't make out anything they were saying to me as my mind raced from what I had just witnessed. Of the blood that seeped into the grass, of the gurgling sounds Keir made as he lay dying, the sounds of blades being drawn, and orders being yelled. I squeezed my eyes shut as the images kept flashing through my vision, breathing becoming nearly unattainable as I tried to desperately fight them away; reprising memories of my mate lying dead on the ground after the last war beginning to flash along with the others.

No no no no no no no

I couldn't lose him; I couldn't lose any of them.

Rhysand.Rhysand.Rhysand!

Suddenly, I felt a gentle glimmer at my core, followed by the movement of my son stretching inside of me. That glimmer seemed to warm me from the inside out as my panic slowly ebbed away, Viviane and Elain's voices finally coming through.

"Feyre? Can you hear me?" It was Viviane, and I realized then that her hands held my shoulders gently.

I opened my eyes gradually and met with her piercing and concerned blue eyes. My breaths finally regulated as she guided me back into a normal breathing cycle, knowing that I could at last hear her words. I realized then that I was clutching my belly and looked down at it as I felt my son move again. I loosed another slow breath and caressed it instead, closing my eyes as tears slipped down my cheeks.

"Oh Feyre," Elain whispered as she sat beside me, wrapping her arms around me carefully.

I leaned into her embrace, silently crying as I began to relax—this abating moment contrasting with the one I had with Rhys. Viviane rubbed my shoulder gently, and they both waited patiently for me to calm.

"I was there," I whispered, my voice hoarse. "I saw what happened, through Rhysand's eyes."

Viviane frowned, "Are they all right?" She asked.

I paused. "I saw Keir die. Mor stabbed him in the throat, and then they were all shouting. Just as the fighting was about to begin, he sent me back." I said, meeting her worried gaze apologetically.

I felt Elain go rigid as I explained how Keir had been killed, no doubt recalling the gruesome details of how she had done the same with the King of Hybern. I pulled back from her arms slowly, sitting upright with a weary sigh before I went into a full detailed account of everything I had seen—that had been said and done. By the end of it, Viviane's concern seemed to marginalize.

"They'll be all right," she said. "Keir and Kallon were vastly outnumbered, so the fighting won't last for much longer. They'll have no choice but to surrender."

I nodded, though a kernel of doubt still lingered. I looked down at my stomach again, rubbing the expanse of it as my son continued to stretch and kick at his leisure. The glimmering reminder that was him had brought me back to reality, from the edge of my panic. I closed my eyes as I felt him move, feeling another flutter in response as I continued to stroke my belly.

Thank you, baby.

XXX

Hours passed and there was still no word from the others. I tried reaching down the bond on a few occasions, only to be met with my mate's impenetrable black adamant. As time went on, Eira was a welcome distraction. She awoke from her nap in good spirits, cooing and smiling at Viviane and Elain as they fussed over her. I watched from my seat with a smile that didn't quite reach my eyes as I idly brushed my fingers along my stomach, thoughts still on my mate and the others as I wondered what held them for so long.

There was no doubt our numbers outweighed theirs; so, while we had hoped fighting wouldn't ensue, now that it had, it should've been settled quickly—a slaughter. I did my best to focus on Eira, picturing what my own future with Sebastian would be in a few short months, but every few minutes or so my thoughts returned to Rhysand and the others. I thought of Mor and how aptly she took out her father and his commander, what possible ramifications would come from her impulses, though I couldn't blame her for it. I wondered if Nesta and Amren had been able to keep a safe distance once the fighting began; if Azriel or Cassian would be hurt while taking down their own kind, though I knew the latter would feel more of a burden than the former.

Finally, a knock came at the door before it opened, Rhys striding inside with Azriel and Kallias following closely behind.

"Oh, thank the Cauldron!" Viviane exclaimed, gathering Eira to her breast as she quickly stood.

Kallias had his daughter and mate wrapped in his arms only seconds later, but I was too distracted with my own overwhelming relief as I saw my mate. I choked on a sob as those star-flecked violet eyes met mine, and as I struggled to push myself upright, Rhysand quickly pulled me into an embrace as he dropped to his knees before me. I slid forward, meeting his knees with mine as I landed on the ground, kissing his face and brushing back the loose strands of his hair as he did the same.

Tell me you're alright. I pleaded

I am, Feyre. Everything's alright

Though the three of them were dirty and bloodied, their faces showing the exhaustion of battle, they were here in one piece. They were alive and safe.

Rhysand's hands held my stomach gently as our brows touched, his eyes lined with silver as he stroked it gently, solace washing over him as well.

Is he...?

He's fine, we both are.

His shoulders went slack as one hand held my hip firmly. "The others…?" I asked aloud, my voice barely above a whisper.

"Fine," he said as he pressed a kiss to my brow and pulled away from me.

He helped me back onto the sofa as we faced the others. Kallias had an arm slid behind Viviane's back, and from the corner of my eye I saw Elain quickly pull her hands away from Azriel's when Rhys rose to his feet. There were still tears welled in her eyes, and I saw the shadowsinger curl his scarred fists closed once Elain's delicate ones left his touch.

"The bastards managed to hold their own for a while, but with hardly any leadership in the wake of Keir's death, we had them overrun after an hour or so," Rhys explained to us.

"Kallon's novice knowledge as a warrior showed. He stood no chance against Cassian's direction and tactics," Azriel added.

"Is he dead too?" I asked.

"Not yet. Cassian got a hold of him and knocked him unconscious. Probably would've killed him, if Rhysand hadn't insisted they take him prisoner," Kallias answered.

A quick nod at Azriel, "We have plans for him and the other camp lords that went against us." Rhys said.

"But Keir is dead? Mor killed him?" Viviane asked.

"Yes, him and about a dozen other Darkbringers. Outside of that, there weren't many casualties," Kallias replied.

"We spent the rest of the time rounding up the rest of their army as they surrendered, stationing prisoner camps that Cassian, Azriel and Devlon will oversee as we plan our next steps," Rhys went on. "As for the Darkbringers, Mor and Amren are taking them back to the Hewn City."

I gulped as I recalled Mor's rage and thought of how she would handle the army of traitors her father raised. I sighed shakily and motioned for Rhys as my relief was replaced by a wave of nausea. Taking note of my illness, he helped me to my feet without another word and I quickly crossed over to the nearest bathing room—making it to the toilet just in time as I vomited. I could barely hear the sound of the voices talking in the other room over the sound of my retching, but only a minute later Rhys entered the bathing room with me, holding my hair and rubbing my back until the nausea passed.

Resting my back against the hard planes of his chest, I closed my eyes as he flushed away the mess and summoned a cool washcloth to place on my forehead. He then lifted me in his arms easily, carrying me down the hallway and towards the small bedroom.

"They left?" I asked after I noticed how quiet it was.

Rhys nodded as he sat me on the bed, brushing a strand of hair behind my ear. "Feel better?" he asked.

I sighed heavily with a slight nod, removing the damp cloth from my head. "Yes...I think everything just hit me," I said tiredly, truly feeling the weight of it all lifting.

Is Mor okay?

"She's been waiting for that moment for centuries. Today she finally had enough," Rhys replied aloud—exhaustion as clear in his voice as it was in his eyes.

I nodded in acknowledgment and squeezed his hand, taking note of the blood that still coated his fingers. "It's over…" I whispered.

Rhys squeezed my hand back, the bed giving way as he sat beside me. "Yes, it is."

"There's still so much to do," I said, mind beginning to race.

"There is," he confirmed, a strong hand returning to the apex of my belly. "But we still have time before he comes."

My eyes stung as my sense of relief returned and I let out a wet laugh as he stroked my stomach. "He'll be safe," I said with a quiet sob.

His eyes stayed on my stomach, those beautiful eyes going distant. "He would have never been in danger if I wasn't the male that I am. If you hadn't accepted our bond, or married me, then-"

"I wouldn't be here right now if you weren't the male you are, Rhysand. He wouldn't exist without you, and I...I wouldn't either," I interrupted as I took his face in my hands again, forcing him to meet my fierce gaze.

Those violet eyes shattered at my words and a second later his arms were wrapped around me once again, pulling me onto his lap as I enveloped my arms around him in return and held him just as closely. I shook with a sob as I buried my face in his hair as his lips brushed against my neck and breathed in my scent. With this burden lifted from both of our shoulders, we no longer had to pretend to enjoy whatever short-lived peace we had been afforded during this ordeal. We now had a peace that had the potential to last for a great deal longer; a peace that our son would be born into and thrive.

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sammysreelreviews · 4 years

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Counting Down My Top Ten Tv Shows Of The Decade

My last Tv decade list is finally here y’all. Is it weird that I’m very emotional posting this!? Before I start I have 3 movie decade lists coming up and the first list will be posted on December 6th so stay tuned! If you want to know exactly when they’ll be posted I have an instagram you can follow there >>> @sammysreelreviews. Ok back to business. I thought that listing shows that were still airing in the 2010’s would be insanely hard so I decided to only list shows that started in 2010 or later on I did this with my two previous lists also and will do this for the three upcoming movie decade lists. This list took me WEEKS so y’all better enjoy the fuck out of this. I know Pretty Little Liars was out in 2010 but it did not make the cut quality wise I hope y’all understand. Okay I’m done but I’d love y’all to comment your favorite shows of the last decade! Enjoy and as always, there will be ***SPOILERS!!!***

10. Atypical (2017 - ) Netflix

I’ve spoken about this like way too much but someone has to give it the respect it deserves! This show about a boy facing everyday problems while having autism is so wholesome and in a way motivating because Sam (Keir Gilchrist) never gives up. This show shows real family issues, someone battling with their sexuality, and real insight into the autism community which helps ends the stigma. This last season made me cry at the end because of Sam and Zahid’s (Nik Dodani) friendship and I’m so ready for the next season. Also Izzie (Fivel Stewart) fucking SUCKS I’m team Evan (Graham Rogers) all the way. Do what you want with that information.

9. Jane the Virgin (2014 - 2019) The CW

Gina Rodriguez may be dumb but Jane the Virgin is not. The premise of the show sounds batshit but it ended up being one of the most well written shows I’ve ever fucking seen. What’s starts as an artificial insemination ends in being one of the most heartfelt shows I’ve ever seen in my entire life. Ugh, the amount of tears that Jane the Virgin has caused me they should pay my therapy copay. While we’re here, Jane and Michael ( Brett Dier) deserved to be together and when they “killed” him off I literally stopped watching the show for a few months. I’ll miss Jane the Virgin a ton and I hope the CW puts out more content like this.

8. Big Little Lies (2017 - ) HBO

To say Big Little Lies was a pop culture phenomenon would be an understatement. In seven short episodes the ladies of Monterey made one of the biggest impacts HBO has ever seen. The cast is just amazing like Nicole Kidman is always incredible but extra incredible as Celeste and don’t even get me started about Meryl Streep’s performance in season 2. Wow. Big Little Lies is one of the best written and honestly one of the best acted shows ever. That scene in the season one finale where they realize Perry (Eric Northman Alexander Skarsgård) is the father of Jane’s (Shailene Woodley) child by only giving each other intuitive LOOKS!!! CHILLS. Should forever be taught in acting classes! I hope it’s over cause season 2 felt like a good place to end the stories but I wouldn’t mind seeing more Renata the fucking boss Klein (Laura Dern).

7. Peaky Blinders (2013 - ) BBC/Netflix

I’ve mentioned this too many times so I’ll keep this brief. Peaky Blinders is non stop drama and it’s actually addicting. I haven’t even watched the last season because I don’t want to wait for the next one. The Shelby family is one of the best on Tv and Peaky Blinders is one of the best gangster shows around. Also doesn’t hurt that Tom Hardy and Sam Claflin are on it.

6. On My Block (2018 - ) Netflix

Ugh I literally have put On My Block on at least 5 lists so can you please fucking watch this diverse funny dramatic show!?!?! It deals with the trials and tribulations of high school while also tackling gun violence and the repercussions of it. Also, Jamal (Brett Gray) and Abuela (Peggy Blow) are the best unlikely duo ever created.

5. Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt (2015 - 2019) Netflix

The love I have for Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt is indescribable. It’s one of the funniest shows I’ve ever seen and I have rewatched it at least 5 times. Everyone who knows me says I’m exactly like Titus (Tituss Burgess) and they’re completely right. If you want more info on it I wrote about it here.

4. Narcos (2015 - 2017) Netflix

Narcos Narcos Narcos. If you read this blog you’d know it’s one of my favorite shows ever so I’m not even gonna bother to talk about it cause you can see me explain it here. Watch the fucking show.

3. Love/Hate (2010 - 2014) RTÉ One

I’m not going to lie I only started watching this show cause I had an insane Robert Sheehan phase because of Misfits. I mean the phase isn’t over but it’s just not as INSANE as it was back then. This show is like the Irish Sopranos but BETTER. YEAH I FUCKING SAID IT. Not only is Robert Sheehan on it but there’s romance, betrayal, and hella violence. Sadly we never got the final season like we were promised and it sucks because the season 5 finale ended with someone huge DYING. If you love top tier television Love/Hate is the show for you. You will NOT be disappointed. Also did I mention Robert Sheehan was in it?

2. Broad City (2014 - 2019) Comedy Central

It’s kind of bizarre that I’ve never put one of my favorite shows of all time on any list here. If you didn’t know I was a huge Broad City fan well, now you do! Ugh what can I say about the wild NYC shenanigans of these two kweens!? Abbi (Abbi Jacobson) and Ilana (Ilana Glazer) are my favorite best friends on television because they just get each other and they’re also weird as actual fuck. The thing about Broad City is that it’s relatable to my age group. It discusses LGBTQ matters, talks about how taking medicine for your mental illness isn’t a weakness, and they’re constantly showing how expensive the real world actually is. There are so many things about this show I could say like how Melanie was never physically seen, Illana’s mother (Susie Essman), the gift that is Val, and how Shania Twain actually made a fucking cameo after all those lies Abbi told. Broad City will be greatly missed but remember kids; Reduce, Reuse, Recycle, Rihanna!

1. Dark (2017 - ) Netflix

Ok I don’t know how many times I’ve mentioned this on my blog but for god fucking sake PLEASE WATCH THIS DAMN SHOW!!! It’s the best show Netflix has ever made and it’s a total mindfuck! It’s also the most cohesive show ever written. If you like your shows with excellent writing, acting, and small dashes of sci-fi this is the criminally underrated show for you! If you grow a brain and watch the first two seasons the third season will be out in 2020 but I’m going to predict that it’ll be out on June 27th, 2020. Netflix makes the best international shows and they’re the best they have to offer. Dark is a show where I’ve never guessed what was going to happen next and that’s why it’s my number one show of the decade.

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meticulouswriting · 5 years

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Upset

Pairing: Keira Cousland x Alistair Summary: After a visit home to see her brother, Keira returns to Denerim in a low mood. Alistair tries to figure out what’s wrong. Rating: SFW Warnings: Some angst, Alistair being a romantic dork Author’s Note: Continuing with moving stuff over from my old blog!

And as always, I love comments and feedback!

AO3

Alistair’s queen was upset.

She had been, ever since she’d arrived back in Denerim. She’d been visiting her family home in Highever, a trip she tried to make every six weeks or so. He knew that Keira worried about her brother, who still lived in and ruled the Teyrnir alone. But seeing Fergus in person usually made her feel better, not worse.

Keira had made her usual stops after returning to the castle; she’d dropped off her traveling gear at the armory, popped into the kitchens to swipe something for her mabari, checked with the steward to see if any correspondence had come while she was away, and then come to their chambers to bathe and dress for dinner. He’d been waiting for her in their rooms, wanting to steal some time alone with the wife he hadn’t seen in a whole week.

Alistair had planned to make it a romantic evening. As soon as a messenger had brought word she was in Denerim, he’d sent for a bath. After telling the staff that they’d be dining alone in their chambers instead of in the main hall, he’d canceled his last few commitments so they’d have the whole night to themselves. He’d gotten wine, their favorite foods, the massage oil she secretly loved… he’d even managed a vase of roses that matched the one he’d first given her. It had all the makings of a very special night between him and his queen, even if she was too road-weary for it to lead to sex.

Although he was really hoping it would lead to sex.

But Keira had been distracted from the moment she walked in the door. Her dog had bounded into the room and jumped directly onto their bed, as excited as ever to be home. But she had walked in slowly, without more than a small smile at the sight of Alistair waiting for her.

Not that he was expecting her to take a running leap into his arms, (Although that hadhappened once, after a particularly long time apart. She’d barely managed to catch him in time.) but he’d thought she’d have a little more of a reaction. He’d shaved off the goatee she loved to tease him about and everything.

But she’d just walked in and given him that enigmatic smile. She’d kissed him once, warmly enough, but had pulled away with an excuse about needing to wash off the dirt of the road.

Now she was sitting on her hands on the edge of their bed, wrapped in a robe. She’d been staring blankly at a spot on the wall.

Alistair sat beside her, not sure what he was supposed to do in a situation like this. The two of them had been through so much together–not many couples spent their courtship fighting Darkspawn–but even after two years of marriage he still sometimes felt out of his depth.

“Please talk to me, love,” he said. “I don’t…if there’s something bothering you, I want to be able to help.”

Keira looked down at her hands and let out a breath. “I had a talk with Fergus.”

That… was not what he’d expected to hear. “Oh. Um. What about?”

She slid closer and let him wrap an arm around her shoulders. “A lot of things. Big things.” Keira laid her cheek against him.

“Nothing I did, I hope? I didn’t think I’d been especially stupid in at least a few months.”

He could feel her face move as she smiled. “No, nothing you did, you ridiculous man. You have been nothing but wonderful.” She grasped his hand in hers, pulling it up to kiss his knuckles. “It’s Fergus. He says that he has no intention of remarrying.”

“I can’t say that I don’t understand his point,” said Alistair, “after everything that Howe did. If something happened and I lost you…” On second thought, that was not a situation he wanted to imagine too clearly. “Well, I understand.”

Keira squeezed his hand tighter. “I know. I can’t imagine what he’s gone through… that’s why I didn’t press him on it. I’m not about to try and force him into anything when he’s so clearly still hurting. But…” she trailed off.

“Buuuuttt…” Alistair prompted.

“But if he doesn’t marry again,” she continued, “if he has no heir… there were some issues we needed to discuss.”

Alistair shifted on the bed and turned Keira so they were facing each other. “Like what?” he asked, concerned that there was something big she was still holding back.

“Like… the Teyrnir,” she said, carefully. “Technically, as the only other living Cousland… I’m the heir if anything happens to him. And, truly, I don’t mind that. I love Highever, I always have. And there are good people there, people who can care for it while I’m here in Denerim. Here with you. Just like Amaranthine. I don’t need to live there all year. I mean, maybe we can spend summers there, or something, just because it’s so lovely then, and it was home… And, anyway, Fergus is healthy, and with the Blight over, I don’t see it even being an issue for years yet…” She was babbling. She always did when she was nervous or overwhelmed. Normally, Alistair thought it was adorable. Except for moments like this, when she was clearly trying to avoid the real issue that had upset her.

“So what’s the problem, love?” he asked.

“The problem,” she continued, “is the rest of the line of succession. Fergus made certain… provisions, for what would would happen to the Teyrnir. I’m his heir, for now, but he said… he said that he stipulates in his will that the inheritance goes first to our child. Our second child, that is. He said that he looks forward to being an uncle to Ferelden’s next monarch, but he wants to keep the Cousland legacy in the family. So once there’s another Theirin to succeed you, he would like our permission to make our second child his heir.”

Alistair could see tears starting to pool in her eyes. but he didn’t understand why this was upsetting her so badly. “Isn’t that good news?” he asked. “I thought you’d be happy about this. That your home is staying in your family, that your brother has things settled…”

Apparently that was the wrong thing to say; Keira pulled away from him and started pacing, the way she always did when she was overwhelmed with something. He stood up, but stayed where he was by the bed. He never knew what to do when she was upset like this. Maker, Archdemons and public speaking were nothing compared to a distraught wife.

“It’s just that…” she said, raking a hand through her still-damp hair. “Alistair, we’ve been married for two years. And in those two years, we’ve spent… Many, many nights together.”

Alistair crossed the room to Keira, taking her hands. “Yes… And I’ve certainly enjoyed those nights.” He tried for a winning grin, hoping to charm a little bit of a smile out of her.

“Please, Alistair, listen to me,” she continued, apparently not in the mood to be charmed. “In two whole years, two years of being together, of making love, of not… taking precautions… I haven’t gotten pregnant. I haven’t even thought I might be pregnant.”

“Yes, but we knew it might be difficult for us before we got married…”

She was really crying now, silent tears rolling down her face. “But, love… What if it’s not just difficult? What if it’s never going to happen?”

He tried to wipe away a tear, tried to comfort her, but he had no idea what to do to fix this.

Keira continued to speak. “What if we never have heirs? What if we’re just setting Ferelden up to go right back to where it was when Cailan died, and now Highever too… We can’t let them all down like this, we can't…”

Alistair embraced her then, pulling her close to his chest. It hurt him to see his wife like this, to see the strongest woman he knew crumble. Especially when, if he was being honest, he shared all of her fears.

He pressed a kiss into her hair. “I don’t have the answers, Keir. I wish… I wish I did. All I know is that I don’t regret the decisions that brought us here. I don’t regret meeting you, or fighting with you, or marrying you. I don’t even regret you making me take the crown, because you make the most wonderful queen I could’ve ever imagined. Because I love you. And whatever it takes, we’ll figure this out.”

Keira shifted in his arms and pulled his face to hers, pressing their foreheads together. “I know.” She held him like that for a moment, their breath mingling. “I love you, too.”

Alistair kissed her on the temple. “We’re going to get through this, love. We stopped a Blight, and we lived. We can do this too.”

Keira kissed him soundly this time, and he returned it with every bit of passion he could, trying to show her without speaking everything he was feeling; that he loved her, that he truly believed they were stronger than anything they faced, that he wanted everything for them and for their future. He didn’t know if she understood all of that in a single kiss, but he intended to spend the rest of the night showing her, again and again.

The rest of his life, too.

#cousland x alistair #female cousland #king alistair #alistair theirin #alistair x cousland #alistair x warden #warden x alistair #keira cousland #mine #from old blog

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bookofmirth · 7 years

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Can you do "I want a lion" with drunk!Mor?

heeeeheeee…. Mor and Cassian brotp gives me life.

AO3

*******

Mor and Cassian went to Rita’s to let off some steam after a particularly difficult trip to the Hewn City, which was something they were so used to that they hadn’t even discussed their plans beforehand. They saw one another from down the street and silently took their usual table, waiting until they each had a drink in hand before speaking. What they weren’t used to, however, was drinking quite this much, quite this quickly.

Cassian wasn’t sure how it had happened. One minute it seemed that they were sipping their drinks at a reasonable, responsible pace, and the next moment he noticed a slurring to Mor’s words, that when he shifted on the plush seat, he had a difficult time regaining his equilibrium.

Given the day they had just spent with Keir, he figured they probably both deserved a few extra drinks. Not that this would be the first time they had drunk and then made bad decisions together. He made a mental note to make sure that Amren never found out about whatever adventures they might have that night, and ordered another round.

Their conversation needed to revolve around anything other than politics or business or the Hewn City if Cassian was going to help his friend forget how hard she worked to merely survive down there, somewhat intact. So he jumped straight into the thing that he knew would distract her without fail - fluffy, cute animals. Their conversation began with kittens and meandered to red pandas, the way that baby elephants would roll around in mud, when Mor took over in her enthusiasm.

“Do you know who has cute animals? The Winter Court.” Mor swirled her wine around her glass, finishing it off before resting her head on the back of her chair. She squeezed her eyes shut. Cassian wasn’t sure what kind of tears would come out next, and breathed a sigh of relief when he realized that she was going to have a “this thing is so cute” cry, and not a “I’m being a sad drunk” cry.

“They have these little foxes, Cassian, have you seen them? They wear vests and carry things. They are so helpful.” Mor burst into tears at the memory.

Cassian placed a gently hand on her knee. “I know, Mor. I know.” He said this with solemnity, wanting to laugh at her sensitivity while trying to forget that not five minutes ago he had nearly cried at the thought of soft, warm puppies.

“You know what else are cute? Lions. Baby ones. The Winter Court doesn’t have lions.” She sighed. “I want a lion,” Mor whined. Her shoulders heaved with the following sigh, the burden of her lack nearly too much to bear when she was two bottles deep.

Cassian nodded sagely in understanding, trying to convey his support without crying himself. He hadn’t realized how far they had gone, how seriously she was taking this conversation, until she suddenly pitched forward and threw her face in her hands, her shoulders shaking with heavy sobs.

“Mor, I have an idea!” he exclaimed in a half panic. He was supposed to take her here to forget the day, and while he had succeeded, he had also given her something else to be upset about.

She looked up at him, wiping away at her tears and streaking her makeup. Even drunk Mor would have taken better care with the deadly combination of tears and mascara, and so he knew it was time for them to stop drinking. But for now, he had to act fast to make her stop crying and somehow turning the cuteness of animals into a dire matter.

“What’s your idea?”

“Ok, tomorrow, we go and we get lions. We will love them and hug them and train them. I can get one and you can get one, and they will be our friends. And they can be friends. We will find the bravest and kindest of all lions to be our friends.” Words half-formed and slurred poured out of him before he knew what he was doing. He could have suggested a trip to the Winter Court. He could have suggested that she get a pet fox, or perhaps another animal native to the Night Court. But no, he grasped for the first straw he found, and found it to be the promise of a large, predatory animal living with them.

“And they will become our fiercest companions, warriors by our sides,” Cassian added, lifting his glass in salute to the future valor of their lions.

“Wait!” Mor exclaimed, and she threw herself across the table their feet had been resting on. Grasping for a pen and a piece of paper, she wrote “To-Do” at the top. “We can’t forget this. I am very, very drunk right now,” she said, “And so we must write this down.” With flourish, she wrote their one-item list which read:

Item 1 (one): Find lions for me and my friend Cassy

At the bottom of the paper, Mor signed her name. She slid the paper over to Cassian, whose eyes widened, impressed by the foresight of his trashed friend. But sign the paper he did, and when Mor sat back with a contented hum, he considered his job complete for the evening.

*******

When Cassian woke the next morning, he was startled to find himself in bed. The last thing he remembered was signing the to-do list with all the formality of a legal document. Turning his head, he saw another leaf of paper sitting on his nightstand. Fairly certain he hadn’t left it there, he picked it up, groaning as he read.

Dear Cassian,

I ran into you and Mor at Rita’s last night; you don’t need to thank me for getting you home, though you did smell like the wrong end of a dog by the time I got you there. Mor shared your wishes with me, and I am pleased to be able to provide what seems to have been a great wish of yours. You will find your new companions in the gardens, but I expect you to name, feed, train, and take basic care of them between the two of you. I will have no part in the care of these beasts, as I am merely the instrument of their procuration. Mor will receive a similar note, and so she will be aware of the gift and her new responsibilities. As before, I expect no thanks - the amusement I will gain in watching you try to deal with this, the latest in a chain of brilliant ideas you’ve had while drinking with the Morrigan, will be payment enough.

Best,Amren

*********

Sentence prompts

#acotar #acotar fanfiction #morrigan #cassian #sarah j maas #mine #my writing #writing prompt #ask #the yfke tag

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