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watcher-ofthe-sky · 4 years

Text

Learn to Bloom

Summary: “But I am breaking my promise to myself.” Mirajane came to sit beside her while Cana turned and nudged in closer and asked, “Why do you think that it’s a bad thing?” Erza sighed, folding her arms on the table and lay down her head on them. “Because bad things happen when I am in love.” In which Erza had fallen in love with Kagura but it will take her time to let herself bloom into that love. Written it last year for the prompt “I promised not to fall in love and that I wouldn’t drink too much,” for the event I Take Pride In What I Am by @ft-wwtdp Pairing: Kagura x Erza. Background Cana x Mirajane. Mentioned Erza x Jellal. Brotp of Cana & Erza & Mira.

**** [A/N]: This is what we call being fashionably late. I don’t have any defense for myself but I am just happy that I finally completed this. Hope you’ll enjoy it!

Erza tipped her head back and gulped down the rest of her drink. It was harvest time and Fairy Tail had held the annual Fantasia Parade. Other guilds across Fiore had also come to witness the fabulous event and were now joined in the after-party. But right now, Erza’s eyes slowly darted away to the woman sitting at the end of the guildhall who was more fabulous than anything.

Kagura was sitting with Minerva at one of the tables. She was laughing softly at something the other lady had said, her fingers finding their way in her hair to put away the strands once in a while. Erza inhaled deeply at the sight; her stomach doing weird things along with her heart beating hastily.

She looked down at her empty tumbler and ordered another serving. Her vision has started to haze but she was still clear enough to be herself. She chuckled at the memory of once drinking together with Kagura at Lamia Scale party. Lyon and Gray had been bumped hard in the head by both the swordswoman when they started brawling, which further resulted in both of them blacking out for a few moments. Natsu made Erza swore to never drink together with her girlfriend in their presence anymore.

Lisanna offered the group some drinks when Yukino and Lucy joined Minerva and Kagura. The Mermaid Heel mage sheepishly grinned and then declined it. Erza didn’t fail to notice the stretch of those soft pink lips; the way her cheeks slightly blushed. She gulped as her mouth felt dry; she knew she was in deep trouble.

“I don’t think that it’s the drinks at which you are making eyes,” a voice said from her side.

Erza whirled to see Cana sitting on the stool beside her. She grinned before saying, “Though looking at this,” she gestured to the empty containers before Erza, which made the Requip mage chuckle, “That can be a possibility.”

“I am still holding well, though.” Titania winked. “Thanks to those late-night drinking sessions with you when we were teens.”

“Got to say, you’re making me proud, girl. Although, I am enjoying this only as long as you can actually hold up; the aftermath of your limit is something only three people in this world that can possibly handle,” Cana said, fully knowing the infamous aggression of her, thanks to Gray.

Erza laughed at this while Cana asked Kinana for a drink.

“Make it two,” she told the Card Mage.

“Are you sure?”

“Definitely. I can still hold up.”

The two girls tried on different drinks one by one, blurring out the loudness around them. Erza’s eyes caught Kagura’s once in a while and she turned red when her girlfriend blew her kiss at an instance.

When they ordered another serving, it was Mirajane who came with it. Handing them their order, she turned to the scarlet mage with amusement, “Are we drinking our sorrows away or do we have an occasion?”

Erza only cocked back her head in return as she swigged down the contents and thumped down the mug. The two girls watched her in delight as it was a rare occurrence to see the Requip mage loosening up like this.

“Caaanaaa,” Erza rolled out loud as she thudded her head on the bar counter. Mira smirked as she recognised the laced aggression beginning to bubble up.

“Yeah, honey?” Cana replied as she played with Mira’s hair.

“I promised not to fall in love and that I wouldn’t drink too much,” she replied, her voice slurry due to alcohol.

“Aren't you saying my once life motto,” Cana said.

“Well, at least you're holding one end of the deal,” Mira said dismissively, even though she had a suspicion of the truth.

“Nooo, you're wrong, Mira.”

“Is this having to do something with you making eyes at Kagura?” Cana asked, innocently.

“Yes!” Erza nodded vehemently.

“Well, then what it is, hon?” Mirajane asked.

“Have you seen Kagura? Have you seen her? Have you seen the way her eyes sparkle when she talks about something she likes? The way she smells of Jasmine and spring and everything fresh and blooming? The way she is strong and bold yet soft and gentle in a gorgeous way?”

xxx

Mirajane put a spoonful of strawberry cake in Erza's mouth as Cana left a trail of kisses on the transform mage’s cheek.

Erza swallowed before saying, “And her hair...”

“Silky black and beautiful?” Cana offered monotonously.

“Exactly! How did you know?” she enthused.

“Maybe because you've said it seven times in the past half an hour,” Mira said as she buried herself in Cana's neck.

“You've fallen for her pretty hard, I guess,” Cana said.

The scarlet mage inhaled deeply, prepping herself for what she was going to say next. “I am in love with Kagura.”

Even though both the other girls had playful mischief on their faces all this while, they gave her now a warm soft smile.

“That's great, Erza. She is a wonderful person who will keep you happy.”

“But I am breaking my promise to myself.”

Mirajane came to sit beside her while Cana turned and nudged in closer and asked, “Why do you think that it’s a bad thing?”

Erza sighed, folding her arms on the table and lay down her head on them. “Because bad things happen when I am in love.”

“What do you mean, lovely?” Mira asked as she slowly combed Erza’s hair.

“Jellal,” the scarlet mage mumbled. “We all know how that went down the hill. I…I am not blaming him but I was tired of it: the waiting and then getting nothing in return. All this time…it felt like all this time I was waiting for something that maybe never existed in the first place.”

“But I thought Jellal did love you,” Cana said, frowning.

“He did. And that’s the worst part. We were both pretty fucked up to be in a relationship; would have only been each other’s anchors. Even though I know all this, it doesn’t mean that it didn’t hurt,” Erza whispered, melancholy heavy in her voice.

“Oh Erza, are you afraid of getting hurt again?” Mirajane asked softly.

The Requip mage only nodded in return but after a moment a bitter chuckle escaped her lips. “It’s not the first time I am feeling like this. So much for being the great strong Titania.”

“Honey, it isn’t a weakness to feel like this. It is okay to not be okay; to be afraid of breaking down. It’s fine,” Cana said, wrapping an arm around Erza. “But you deserve happiness. I know it’s so hard to trust again but don’t let your past experiences ruin your future chances.”

Erza pulled herself up and ran a hand over her face. “I know. I know that she isn’t him. Maybe this isn’t even about him. I am not in love with him anymore but I do still love him, and I want him to be happy too. And then there are these moments when I look at Kagura,” at the mention, she looked up to see the woman sitting across the room who was still smiling gracefully; “I look at her and I think: this girl. I want to make this girl the happiest person. I want to wake up next to her every day, tell her how beautiful she is, tell her how lucky I am to be with her. And when I am thinking that, I forget what it will be like to get hurt. All I feel is maybe…maybe it will be worth it. She is worth it.”

Both the other girls put an arm around Erza, pulling her in a hug.

“She makes you happy, doesn’t she?” Mirajane asked.

“So much,” Erza whispered.

“Then don’t be afraid to open your heart to her,” Cana began. “You said it yourself, she is worth it. I know that the thing with Jellal wasn’t the best, you deserved better—”

“He did too,” Erza cut off.

“Of course, but it isn’t about him. Erza, for once please think for yourself. Life fucked up and shitted on both of you. I know you still care for him, but you have to remember that he does too. He will want you to be happy. And if it’s Kagura who can do that, then he will want you to go for it. Hell, you should want yourself to go for it,” Cana said.

Erza thought to herself about the times Kagura had smiled at her and she wanted to burst out and spill all the love flowing inside of her. Kagura was bright and soft like spring. A gentle wind that made Erza want to bloom out her way out the winter.

It will always hurt, she thought. A part of her will always tether to Jellal and to the love that never got the chance to see the light. Sometimes she will look at him and there would be nothing but pain coiling her body. She will want to get angry at life and will want to tear the realms of time so that she could snatch away the past.

But he will look at her with forgiveness and she will want to cry. They would spend a lifetime stitching each other’s wounds.

Erza was tired of sewing a sky that would always fall and would be pulled apart at the seams.

It had taken both of them years to stand themselves up and admit that maybe this landscape wasn’t for them. That maybe better skies are waiting for them to look at. That maybe there can be a love out there for them that didn’t come with all this weight on their shoulders.

Kagura became that gentle breeze that made her want to blossom.

And Erza felt lighter.

She did not know that she was capable of falling in love again; that her heart can open itself for someone else too.

Kagura made Erza happy and she wanted to do the same for her.

“I love her,” she whispered, more to herself than anyone else.

Cana’s eyes softened and Mirajane left a kiss on her hair as she buried herself in her arms and rested her head on the table. She did not know how many minutes had passed since she stayed like that.

“Ready to go?”

“Kagura, hi!” The Card Mage exclaimed. “I think your girlfriend has fallen asleep,” she said as she poked Erza’s cheek.

“Is it so?” the sword mage laughed. “Guess, I’ll carry her to her room then.”

“I’ll help you with that. I have to pick a few things from my room,” Cana said, standing up from the stool and hooking an arm around the other side of Erza.

“I’ll see you at home tonight,” Mirajane nodded as Cana left a quick kiss on her cheek.

xxx

Kagura finally tucked her girlfriend on the bed and was ready to leave when Erza caught her wrist. She was still sleeping but managed to mumble, “No, stay,” and pulled her on top of her.

They both lay there, Kagura adjusting herself on her side and Erza burying her face in her neck and throwing an arm around her waist to pull her close. This only made the other mage smile fondly as she carded the pretty scarlet locks of her.

“Iwuvyoo,” Erza murmured.

“What did you say, love?” Kagura chuckled. “You know I can’t hear you like this. And your breath tickles.”

“Mmmm,” Erza said but it came out more like a whine. Soon, she felt asleep contently in the arms of her girlfriend. Feeling warm and safe and happy.

xxx

It was two days after the incident that she blurted out the words again one afternoon in the backyard. They were polishing their swords and Kagura talked something about trying the leaf blade sword once and how exhilarated she left when it sliced perfectly through the air like the katana and had the perfect thrust of The European sword.

Erza wasn’t focussing on the words rather the way Kagura’s eyes were practically glittering; how her skin seem golden under the bright light. Gods, she felt so full as her heart pounded loudly. “I love you,” she blurted.

It took both of them a few moments to process what had happened.

As the silence stretched a bit too long, Erza started getting worried. Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, did I just ruin everything with her? Wasn’t I the one who said to take it slow? What if now she feels compelled to say the same? Fuck.

“You don’t have to say it bac—”

“I love you too.”

Wait, what?

She looked above and a bright red colour adorning Kagura’s cheeks. If Erza wasn’t such a huge mess right now, she would have commented how cute she looked.

Kagura scooted closer and took her hands in hers. Erza could smell spring on her.

“I love you. I have been for…a while now. I was afraid that I’ll scare you and will lose you because you wanted to take things slow. I am ready to do that now too and nothing has to change, I swear. It’s just…gods, I feel so silly. I love you and you love me back…I am sorry, it just feels like a dream,” Kagura laughed in embarrassment and pulled out her hands to run them across her face.

Erza wanted to cry. She doesn’t know why exactly but she did want to. This girl in front of her was ready to mellow and shove down her feelings just because of her. For her.

She held Kagura’s face in her palms and titled it up so she could meet her gaze. They were warm and bright in the afternoon light and Erza felt that she was holding the sun in her hands.

She closed the distance between as she gently pressed their lips together. The tenderness of Kagura’s thumb padding over her cheek and the other hand threading her hair made Erza so weak and so strong and so full of love.

She wanted to grow in this love until their bones will grow old.

She wanted to burst open and bloom.

xxx @femslashfairies [A/N]: Eh, in case you haven’t noticed, I love these two. They need more love. It’s spring so this theme was inevitable. Also, I am going to write a fic where I want to focus why jerza cannot work out in canon. So, stay tuned if you want to go down that road. Reviews are highly appreciated on this one. ^^

#kagura x erza #kagerza #erza x kagura #erza scarlet #kagura mikazuchi #ftlgbtales #canajane #ft-wwtdp #i take pride in what i am #fairy tail #my writing #my fanfic

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