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coockie8 · 9 months

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I don't wanna come across as ableist in anyway, but anti's delusions genuinely are not my problem. No one's delusions are anyone's problem but the person having them.

Your inability to adequately make a distinction between fiction and reality is no one's issue to deal with but yours. It is downright unhinged, and wildly unrealistic to expect the entire world to cater to your delusions. You have to cope with them; no one can do that for you, and it's blatantly entitled to expect people, strangers, to change what they create or engage in to make you, a stranger, feel comfortable.

I'm a deeply paranoid individual, with an insanely irrational fear of someone living inside my walls (y'all can try sending my asks or DMs that say "I'm inside your walls" to trigger me, but I promise it won't work. I have inside-my-walls access, and check regularly, so good luck with that👍), but that doesn't mean I expect every horror writer/director in existence to never use that trope because some random fucking stranger might be uncomfortable, or even triggered by that.

I don't expect other people to cater to my delusions, because they are my delusions. They're my problem to deal with. I've got my triggers and issues too, but you don't see me going out of my way to call complete strangers predators and tell them they deserve to die over enjoying fiction that triggers me. I behave like a mature human being, and I block tags/people.

If you have trouble differentiating between fiction and reality, or you're the type to base their entire moral code off what you see in fiction, like a 5-year-old, then, in complete seriousness, don't engage with morally grey media. Or, at the very least, don't do so without supervision, and, genuinely, you should probably seek some kind of psychiatric assistance.

"Morally grey media" includes, by the way, all horror, most romances, a good chunk of comedies, and pretty well literally any piece of media that was made for someone over the age of 10. Human beings have been creating fucked up fiction since the dawn of language, and I highly doubt that's going to change any time soon because a bunch of chronically-online puritans refuse tell the difference between a cartoon and a person.

#if I'm coming across as ableist in any way #I deeply apologise #but I'm also mentally ill #I'm paranoid #I've had delusions #and I've *never* expected *anyone* to change what they do or like to cater to *my* issues #anti bs #just anti things #proship #tw: paranoia #trash king vents #I'm running on fumes when it comes to patience #it's financial stress #we won't get into it #I just needed to vent

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wistfulcynic · 9 months

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real talk, i am absolutely down with the theory that Ed thinks Stede is dead. But.

but.

if he thinks that it’s to do with hearing the gunshot, or non-specific rumours floating around various ports. Because if Ed heard the actual details of Stede’s “death,” the piano and the carriage and the jungle cat, i mean. This is Blackbeard, master of the fuckery. He’s gonna know.

what i’d like to see is Ed in mourning, crashing weddings, playing with cake toppers because he thinks his love is gone.

but then he starts to hear things. And he’s like wait.

one crazy death is believable, two could be coincidence but three smells like a fuckery. And then he’s off to find Stede and drag his ass back because if he’s dead then Ed can understand him being gone but if he faked it then that means he’s gone on purpose and what the fuck.

Fuck you, Stede Bonnet

cut to dramatic reunions on black sand beaches etc

#ofmd #ofmd spoilers #our flag means death #ofmd season 2 #ofmd season 2 speculation #i just need them running across the black sand beach fighting off soldiers to get to each other #they meet in the middle #they kiss #then ed slaps stede across the face old-movie style and is like what the fuck bitch

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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 10 months

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Comedic Barnaby ask here again! I'm sorry, I meant your Modern Human au thingy, my bad lmao.

ohhh ok - was just informed that you probably mean comedian, which makes a lot more sense than what my mind was interpreting!

he does actually do little side gigs around comedy! he even got a degree in clowning, but his main job (at the "present day" part of the timeline) is bartending at the same queer club that Eddie does drag performances in! sometimes Barns will open a show etc with a lil' stand-up act, and when he can, he'll do other comedy-based stuff at local venues

#the only reason its not his Main thing is because... well things change you know? life happens #i approached everyone's jobs and timelines as Realistically as possible while still keeping it uhhhh Fun!#and i think it would be interesting if his lifelong passion didnt really work out the way he hoped #so he's the area's most entertaining bartender!#and during county fair season he'll take extra shifts / weekend gigs at the uh. county fair #julie does as well actually!#she'll be over there running a dart-throwing booth and barnaby's across the way making balloon animals etc #carnival companions!#rambles from the bog #wh modern human au #barnaby claims to be doing all the side gigs for extra money to pay for his & wally's place #but everyone knows wally makes enough money off of his art that barnaby doesnt Need extra jobs #but hey! he's doin what he loves so!#and a lil extra cash in the pocket never hurt anyone #it just means higher quality cat food for Welcome <3

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samarecharm · 1 month

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Random question about the “they should make persona for people who like good games” post. Do people think the persona series is that bad? I know they aren’t perfect but I wouldn’t call them bad games.

I had a wholeass essay written out before i realized im too tired to make it sound coherent. AND my only experience is p 4 and 5, so my opinion on it means jack shit. All i can say is that the most recent titles suffer from bad writing. (And repetitive gameplay, but thats a different issue). Be it poorly written characters and dialogue, or poorly written interactions and plot, it is hard to take some of the stuff in the more recent games at face value. One could argue that that just means the game is subpar, not necessarily bad, but thats subjective; bad means different things to different people. And i say this as someone who thinks this game is Not the best but still found it incredibly engaging and entertaining.

#chattin #i am the kind of person to write video essay length posts on games that disappointed me LOL #so i am the wrong person to ask #remember that when thinking about the quality of a game; you should ask urself #who is the target audience? is it accessible to this audience? do i need an outside source to keep up with this game ? (like a guide)#if its in a series; what does it do to separate itself from the others?#is the writing okay? characters? interactions(#?#insensitive content ?#how is it handled? the game may me okay for me but can I have my fat friends enjoy this game???#can i have my trans friends and gay male friends enjoy this game???#who can i recommend it to? my sister is unable to process all of the social links and requirements for these social links #so she just. doesnt do it. she IS the target audience bc she likes rpgs #and she likes the story and characters. but its too overwhelming #and the social links would be overwhelming regardless of the difficulty #are u meant to enjoy the game in one playthrough or across multiple runs??#is it WORTH it to do those runs? for a game that has ‘choices’ it is painfully linear #and it confuses people who are trying to follow the rules (do things in my free time to build confidants)#when theyre unable to actually hang out w confidants bc of a rush of mandatory scenes #velvet room fusions are a pain and overly complex #and the game stops being about making a good build #and it starts to become ‘make a shadow null to everything bc the game will keep instakilling you’#forcing a game over when ur main character dies is ALWAYS bad to me i will swear by this #u make more interesting builds when u arent scared of a gameover #weh. rambling #the game is as bad or good as u want it to br #people clearly love it; we talk about our faves all the time. but how many of us are replaying a game meant to be replayed. not many.

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runefactorynonsense · 7 months

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Cozytober - Day 25 - Sunflowers

#Cozytober #Margot's RF Art #Rune Factory Frontier #RF Frontier #RFF #The internet isn't down today so I can submit at a normal time yay!!#I legit had a relaxing time painting this. I was starting to feel burned out yesterday- happens when you draw every day.#when some don't turn out like you liked. Happens with all art. Especially when you were ill while drawing some.#and you have to return to work after not being able to BREATHE. Physical burnout too.#But. Today.#Today I felt so relaxed and nice. Had nice social moments from across my life that helped kick burnout/self worth in the face #Especially when 3 different friends reach out- randomly- within a half hour of one another. As if they knew you needed it #Feels very nice to be reminded you're loved (and you out there- you are.)#And what else I love- Anette. A woman who loves early mornings and fruit after my own heart #If I'd played Frontier before discovering 1 Anette might be the other otp half. As it stands I just adore HER & love drawing her every year #Rune Factory Anette #RF Anette #While I had run out of prep sketches I can snag 2 or so from unfinished sketches from earlier this year for this week #Let's see if it helps--

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spnintheyearofourlord · 9 months

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Okay Dean “You know I am not much for prayin’ ‘cause in my book it’s the same as beggin’” and “I prayed to you, Cas, every night” Winchester, I see you.

#destiel #deancas #dean winchester #supernatural #just thinking my little thoughts #don’t look at me I’m having a moment #something something no greater devotion than that to his brother who he’s praying for in the former yet this implies #the same love and desperation fueling that must apply to Cas too #do y'all see what I'm saying? does the connection make sense?#especially s8 going forward Dean often takes the cake for toxicity I’m sorry it’s just true. HOWEVER. we need to talk about the softness #that man shows to Cas in this season specifically.#for ex: after Cas sternly shuts him down in 8x08 he doesn't get defensive and snap back like Dean often does #he goes over and sits on the bed across from cas and softly says 'talk to me.' like i'm sorry? has dean ever said that??#not that i recall. usually it's smthg like 'are you ok? no? that's rough buddy. shove it down.' bc that's what he was taught #and mid-end of the prior season though his ‘don’t tell Cas the truth’ plan was not great it was pretty clear imo how deeply happy he was #just to have cas back. broken or not he’d rather have him. .#I don't know exactly what I'm trying to say that's why we're in the tags but it's just something about how Cas deeply betrayed them and we #know how intensely Dean can hold a grudge yet when they get Cas back Dean's softer with him than he ever was before.#and then searches monster land high and low for him even after Cas abandons him #and connecting the former and latter quotes up there it's pretty clear how deep that devotion runs #(platonically or romantically. to each their own reading. and not always healthily.)#because he's as well as admitted he begged for Cas in purgatory. every. night.#Dean 'I don't pray bc i don't beg and I'm not weak'#Dean 'I would do anything for sam so i'll beg for help'#Dean 'I prayed to you. I killed my way to you. did you hear my prayers?'#it's just really somethin'.#I have to wonder if Cas knows how big that is. He must right?#(for my own tags)#dean #spn s8

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yepthatsacowalright · 2 years

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My sincere hope for the legacy of the game The Mortuary Assistant is that more people realize that a lot of what mortuaries (in the US especially) do to dead bodies is fucked up and unnecessary and perhaps we should change the norms of it at some point.

#RIP to the innocent eyes of people who knew nothing about this process before starting the game #it doesn't even need to be this way!!#so much of this is just so the body looks 'good' at the wake and the funeral!#the fear of death runs so deep we don't want to see it or what needs to be done to pretend like it isn't there!#there are so many other safer less expensive sometimes even healing for those lefted behind processes we could be doingggg #we do this to ourselvessss #i don't know if this is coming across in this rant but i do actually really like the game tho #makes for a great setting for some demon parties yes yes yes #the mortuary assistant

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alagaisia · 10 months

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I’m reminded of that post about how goths and people who wear only lots of pink are actually the same because “wearing only one color” is a specific choice in opposition to just looking Normal

I’m flying to a friend’s wedding today, and I recently acquired from my neighborhood free page a very pretty vintage suitcase in like a brocade upholstery texture in all of my good colors, so of course I needed a coordinated airport outfit à la Midge Maisel. You guys don’t know me, but I usually dress very put together, in what my sister calls Outfits, with a capital O to distinguish it from just wearing clothes. And since getting a full time job I’ve been slowly adding to my collection of vintage and 50’s-vibes clothes, because I just really like that aesthetic (my bridesmaid dress for the wedding is a vintage tea dress I got from Etsy. The fabric is in great condition but I had to reinforce pretty much every seam with my sewing machine, because the structural integrity of the original thread was breaking down, so that was an interesting learning experience).

All of which is to say that I Dressed Up for the airport in a vintage-y outfit that coordinates perfectly with some of the colors of my suitcase, and my hair is curled, and I have a vintage leather purse that my grandma gave me that matches her watch that I’m wearing and the shoes she bought me last summer at the same vintage store that my skirt came from, and a teenage-ish girl with whatever you call the 2023 teenage equivalent of emo/punk vibes, like the dark maroon mullet and not a lot of makeup and dark comfy clothes but like, very on purpose, told me I look cool when I walked past on the way to security

And like, she Gets It! We have different fashion goals but I think we put a similar degree of intention into the way we look compared to just wearing regular clothes. Which is cool! It’s validating. Not that I really need validation, but it’s always nice to get compliments, of course. And the way I dress is really not terribly distinctive most of the time, other than being Outfits and a little dressier than maybe the norm is, like I think most people who see me one time in passing would see that I look Nice but not necessarily see it as a cultivated Look. But punk mullet girl gets it.

#struggled with not sounding *too* pretentious here #I don’t feel pretentious but I have a hard time talking about like. specific choices and things in any detail #like to my friends I just said what happened with a picture of my outfit and was like ‘and she gets it!’ and they were like ‘yeah!’#but to strangers I have to go into much more detail to get the point across #even though really it’s not like I’m putting all of that into it every day I just get up and go ‘i want to look nice today’#in accordance with my personal fashion preferences #and then having to explain those preferences like ‘my name is alagaisia midge maisel darkness way and I’m wearing vintage whatever’#i do look so cute though #i got these shoes last summer and then lost the heel cap off of one of them the very first time i wore them #finally took them in to have them fixed last week so I could wear them to the wedding #needed a deadline so that I would actually get around to it #i hate flying it’s really a testament of how much I love my friend that I’m flying #instead of driving ten hours to Nebraska #but it made more sense and to make sure i won’t be late or run into car trouble or anything #and I’ll stay looking nice right away instead of getting gross and sweaty in the car or having to change for bachelorette activities #i only know the bride so I’m definitely going to make a very specific impression on all of these strangers lol #i joked with my dad about adopting a trans Atlantic accent for the whole weekend just for shits and giggles #turns out you cannot do it over the top. have you ever listened to JFK’s ‘we choose to go to the moon’ speech #it’s very silly sounding #we had a good time saying things one might say at a bachelorette party in a goofy voice #‘we cho~ose to ohdah thihs maiule strippah… ahnd the othah things.. nawt becahse it is easyh..#but becawhse he is hahd’#highly recommend #mine #personal

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aleki-lives-here · 2 months

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I watched an mdzs animatic with a song from wicked, and something in my mind finally clicked and now I want to scream about how similar my current and my past hyperfixations are.

"Good news, the witch is dead!" like

"No good deeds" is such a "character pushed to their limits" song. Imagine it before the nightless city. The first scream, as Wen Ning and Wen Qing walk away. The chanting as he lies there, unable to move, praying for them to be well. Memories of people he loves: Jiang Cheng and Jiang Yanli, Lan Zhan, the Wen siblings.

"Was I really seeking good, or just seeking attention?" -- as he looks at the burial mounds and leaves.

"If I cannot succeed, Fiero, saving you, I promise no good deed will I attempt to do again." -- as he learns about Wen Qing and Wen Ning's death.

Ending with him arriving at Nightless city and pulling out the flute.

I want to see it animated so much!

My skills are so annoyingly not up to the task. Maybe if my hyperfixation survives long enough that I learn drawing and animating things well? It'll be the third mdzs animatic I really wish to do one day. Maybe one day.

#mdzs #wicked #my tastes do never change. all my favourite stories seem to have “dark evil” characters that are actually good #I am obsessed with this okay #mdzs did what I love about such stories the best tho. it's perfection. i love it so much oh my god #wicked has the advantage of being a musical. tho I have 60+ mdzs animatics saved so by now I arguably consume it as a musical.#maybe one day I'll write a comprehensive list of all animatics I've ever came across #wicked also has a slight advantage of the word “witch” being used. it is a fun word that makes me feel thing #it was what I was called in school #because I was weird and autistic #and wasn't afraid of blood and drew weird runes and made weird rituals I called “magic” that were rumored to actually work #because one day a boy annoyed me. I made weird hand gestures. and he immediately got hit by snow falling from the roof #i swear like five people from my class confessed they were scared of me #and later my uni teacher. she confessed there were rumors going around among teachers about how scary and terrible a student I was #I still can't get over this it's so funny. imagine being this annoying and weird. it's hilarious.#so yep. my love to stories about characters the are deemed “evil” by the world runs very deep #I love them so so so much ahah #now I just need to learn drawing and do my love some justice

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unopenablebox · 1 month

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it's possible i'm going to get, like, really into tmbg, just to give me a thing to do

#and a new tm*g band to post just on the edge of too irritatingly about. since i guess i. need one #theres various lore. there's tv spots. i can choose something moderately obscure but still obviously not actually obscure #and get a little self-righteous about someone else doing it wrong even though that's not really how this works #alternately i'm deliriously tired and just really enjoying youtube hit ''sapphire bullets of pure cleaning''#box opener #hey do you guys remember how like 6 or 10 years ago #there was someone in our general extended tumblr orbit who was like. really genuinely doing horny/blorbified posting about the tmbg men #who i would just run across on occasion and experience deep incomprehension about #i don't think i'll come to understand them further through this process if i'm honest #but it would be really funny to find their blog again someday now knowing what band they're talking about.

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furshrimps · 3 months

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Now that Sammy's been doing better for a while I've started thinking again that it would be a good time to see if I can find a better home for him.

In my logical mind it seems the better choice for each of us, overall. For him, for me, even for Bats. I would sorely miss his incredible over-the-top goofiness and that he so easily is motivated to play with or without toys, and just his personal quirky flavor of endless love and affection, his abundant happiness. Knowing myself, I'll probably even miss the challenges in some way. A very bright light of love would be disappearing from my life, and just thinking about losing it makes me cry. The other thing I'm not looking forward to is that I probably should inform his breeder, and I probably could do without whatever she has to say about it. I'm imagining it wouldn't be something nice necessarily, based on my previous experiences with her (although I'd be happy to be proven wrong about that, it could very well be just my fear of rejection speaking). Still, I think she deserves to know IF I indeed find someone I'd trust him with.

On the other hand. To know him in good hands that can provide more training, more enrichment, better/ easier vet care as he gets even older. All things I do struggle with a lot since my health took a turn for the worse, and which I already did struggle with from the start, albeit much more low key. It would lift a huge responsibility from my shoulders, and maybe grant him the chance of a more fulfilled life in the years he has left. I knew from the start he's not the dog for me, that he requires more energy than I have to give, even though I tried my best to provide him with everything I could give him during our years together. And we definitely did give each other a large amount of great experiences that I wanna say we both don't want to have missed.

But I think I at least should try. I'm thinking of making it a requirement that any interested person will visit us a number of times to spend time with him and do things with him, so I can see if he starts opening up to them at all, and maybe see how they handle him in his not-so-good moments. Ultimately, I would leave that decision for Sammy himself, though, since animals tend to have a good idea about where they need to go themselves. I think he deserves to be given that chance. If it works, it works, and I'd be happy to let him go to a better life. And if it doesn't work, it doesn't, then he stays here for the rest of his life and we'll make it work somehow. However that is, but in some way we'll make it work if it comes to that.

#sam the papillon #for what it's worth I think he was meant to spend at least a few years with us #he gave those little signs when we picked him up #the only person he briefly made eye contact with was me #he's very good at ignoring people #and it was just this once on that day #(he already had met me once before when I visited him - and on that visit both I and the breeder decided he was not the dog for me)#(only for her to ask me if we can take him along after all the night we went back there to pick up Boo)#(the breeder felt he was not safe in that particular area and we live across the country so it was his best choice at the moment)#the other thing I took as a sign was that he immediately went with my request for him to get into his new carrier #when we had to start running to catch our train back home #he was overweight at the time and wouldn't have been able to keep up otherwise #I asked him to get into the carrier and he went #just like that #as if it was the most normal thing to do with an almost complete stranger #granted he never had an issue with carriers or anything #but it was the thing that decided if we could go back home that day or if we needed to stay at some hotel during the night #it was the last train that day and we caught it because Sammy just did what he was asked 😂#idk #once he gets his final ok with the meds in 2-3 weeks I'll ask my trainer if she knows someone who would be a good fit #and either there is someone or there isn't #that's all I can do

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hyperfixation-tangentopia · 10 months

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So, I just??? Randomly just the motivation for this??? So enjoy more Tealstar stuff ig lol. Tried to do a lot here, not sure how well it worked for me. You can tell I got a little rundown at Tongbi's part, but I was still really determined to finish this, so. Here ya go.

Chikao loved the storm.

The smell of fresh rain and the swirl of dark clouds overhead lit up by flashes of lightning that split the sky in two and sent deep, booming thunder rippling over the land was something she could never get tired of. Every lightning strike lit up her eyes, she could feel the vibration of thunder running deep within her bones, and the entire world was pulled just a little to the side by the chilling winds that whipped past.

She was fond of the world after a storm, too. The way the smell of rain lingered for a week afterwards, clouds drifted past so you could see sheets of rain coming down in the distance as they left, the sudden abundance of greens and the pinks and blues and yellows of plants as they sprouted up, the splashing of puddles gathered in random dips in the ground and squishing of deep brown mud as water sunk into the soil. She loved that. Loved everything about it.

And the best part was that she could do it. On a whim, whenever she wanted, she could summon the clouds and lightning and feel the very storm surging through her bones. She could feel the world come alive in a way so, so different than it did in the shine of the sun.

But, unfortunately, not everyone was so welcoming.

And why weren’t they? What was even the point of limiting her ability to create storms? Why did she have to “register” a storm or whatever to create one? It wasn’t like she was creating out-of-control tornados or setting forests on fire with lightning. Most of the time, it was just a little rain to give the village crops a boost!

But the Celestial Realm hadn’t seen it that way. The first time Nezha had come down to meet her, he had called it “undermining the Jade Emperor’s authority” and “breaking the laws of the Celestial Realm” and “a matter to be taken seriously”. But honestly? How could she take someone that had come down to lecture her about why she couldn’t summon rain without paperwork seriously.

And that was all it had been, for a while. Something funny, eventually just a friend coming down to spar. Barely an annoyance. Not even a concern.

And then Princess Iron Fan had joined him. And they’d struggled over the winds of the storm, trying to turn them on each other to gain an advantage. And then…

Flash

And then people had gotten hurt.

And the Celestial Realm was angry.

Stealing the Peaches of Immortality from their orchard? That was probably just the cherry on top.

But even when they’d come to arrest Chikao for her “crimes” (come on, they were peaches), they’d made a mistake to dare go after Tongbi.

Chikao sighed quietly as she stared up at the endless night sky, the stars twinkling back at her like tiny diamonds against a sheet of inky paint. It felt so close when the storm was swirling around it, the wind catching every little loose thing on the ground and throwing around every small hair out of place, but when the night was clear like this and she was laying on the ground beside Tongbi…it felt so, so far away. She itched for it to be close again, to touch the clouds and feel their water in her hands.

She wondered if, in a world where Nezha had time, where Nezha could step away from his celestial duties and just relax for a moment, they could fly around through the clouds and throw water at each other.

She didn’t live in that world. She didn’t know.

“Chikao?” Tongbi’s soft voice pulled Chikao out of her thoughts.

“Yeah?” Chikao rolled onto her side to look at Tongbi, flattening the grass beneath her.

Tongbi’s eyes stayed on the sky as he spoke and his hands picked through the fur on his tail. His voice was muffled by his dark green scarf as he buried his face into the fabric. “You won’t let them t-t-take you from me, will you?”

A small spark of anger flashed in her chest. She’d said they’d be together forever, and she’d meant it. No Celestial Realm would change that. “Of course not. And I won’t let anyone hurt you, either.”

Tongbi didn’t respond and Chikao rolled back onto her back with a soft sigh. She didn’t want Tongbi to worry. He shouldn’t have had to worry. She dealt with Nezha and Iron Fan on her own fine, didn’t she? And then even when more celestials had shown up, she’d dealt with it. But Tongbi was still worried, and Chikao knew well by then that the only thing that was going to soothe his concern was time.

Time, or get rid of the Celestial Realm’s meddling completely, but she knew that wasn’t going to happen.

At least, that’s what she thought, as the days went by and Tongbi slowly felt safe being outside of his library again. As toddlers and children became teens and adults. As people aged and grayed and passed.

Until the Brotherhood reached out with a dream. A dream of glory and ambition. A dream of change and prosperity. A dream of safety and comfort. A dream of freedom. A dream of storms.

A dream of a day storms could freely brew in the days, and the skies would be theirs at night.

A dream where the Celestial Realm wouldn’t meddle, Nezha could freely come and go, and Tongbi’s concerns would vanish.

And Chikao took it.

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Tongbi hated surprises.

The unexpected whirlwind of emotions he wasn’t ready for, having to think on his feet and his mind going blank, only moments to make a decision and if it was the wrong one he was doomed. The mounting pressure of what felt like a mountain behind his head and the crushing weight of do or die that he just couldn’t pull himself out of.

And the aftermath was worse. Because then there were a hundred different feelings all weighing him down like boulders, telling him there was some way to alleviate their weight but not giving him a single how-to. Sometimes the boulders were hot and sometimes electric and sometimes just heavy, and those meant different things, but he didn’t know what they meant. But apparently, knowing what they meant and how to sort them out was the very key to getting them under control sometimes, because otherwise every time he thought about the surprise he would trigger another rockslide.

Physically, Tongbi didn’t mind rocks, boulders, or even mountains. Feet on the ground, dig his heels in, take a deep breath and move. He could move boulders, sort out rockslides, split entire mountainsides in two that way. The boulders he could touch the rough or smooth surfaces of were lighter than the ones that crushed his heart and held him down in the corner with tears spilling onto blurry pages, but never had a texture.

Fortunately, people were welcoming.

It had been a strange change after the curious chirps of the monkeys that found him hiding away in caves on Flower Fruit Mountain, but a warm one. Chikao helped lift the boulders off his chest, explain some of the feelings and help him separate them apart so he could think without folding into a mess of matted fur and heavy emotions.

The warm nights of staring up at the stars and pointing out constellations as Chikao worked through his fur were the best nights he’d ever known. Spending days reading books about the sun aloud and telling Chikao about asteroids that flew by brought him a warmth he could never quite explain. Even the flower pin he had, with teal and red petals, served as a small comfort when he was alone, to remind him that someone cared.

Though he had been nervous at first, the village was nice too. Adults were happy to trust him to read about the phenomenon of eclipses to children and watch meteor showers with them, and the kids were always fascinated by his words and eager to ask questions and learn more. Even on days where he didn’t have books, several of them were ready to ask questions and listen to him ramble.

And even as they grew and had more chores and work to tend to, nobody minded when he sat on a bench and read the afternoon away.

Tongbi hummed a tune as his eyes scanned across neat words, written with meticulous precision. Dust kicked up into the air as the click clack of horseshoes went by, but Tongbi was fully absorbed, the rest of the world blurred as he imagined how it would feel to step on the moon. Would he feel lighter? Would it feel like stone on earth, or dust, or powder, or something else entirely? Would the stars look different? What kind of new star charts could he make from there?

“I’m bored!” The high-pitched whine of a kid caught his ear. He almost called out to invite them to read, but…no, they probably didn’t want to hear him. All of the kids he used to read to were teenagers or adults now, and had too much responsibility to bother listening to him anymore, and the new ones probably didn’t have any interest in him.

“Hey, this guy’ll read to you about some pretty cool stuff, if you wanna.” Tongbi glanced up from his book to see a teenager with long black hair running down past her shoulders and freckles mixing with the dust and dirt on her face. He felt a small flower of warmth bloom in his chest. He knew this kid. Did she still remember him?

“Ooo, like what?” One of the children asked as their arms swung back and forth.

“Well, you know the little white things that are up in the sky every night?” She smiled.

“Uh-huuuuh.” The kid nodded.

“Well, he taught me that those are called stars, and they’re actually very, very distant suns.” She said as she walked over to the bench Tongbi was sitting on.

“Woah!” Three kids followed her, their eyes shining brighter than the sun.

“But suns don’t look like that.” Another kid frowned.

“That’s the fun part.” She sat down in front of Tongbi and skimmed the title of his current book. “He’ll explain the whole thing.”

The kids promptly sat down in front of him, staring up with eager curiosity that filled Tongbi with warmth. He started explaining, slowly at first, then faster when they only seemed more intrigued. More children, kids playing in the village and teenagers he used to read to just finished with chores, came around him and sat down, enjoying his reading and explanations.

He hoped this never changed. And, luckily for him, it didn’t seem that was going to happen.

At least, that’s what he thought, as Tongbi’s reading slowly expanded to the entire village. As toddlers and children became teens and adults. As people aged and grayed and passed.

Until the Brotherhood reached out with a risk. A risk of danger and hostility. A risk of battle and bloodshed. A risk of pain and uncertainty. A risk of imprisonment. A risk of change.

A risk of ferocious and bloody battles by day, and wounded and torn foundations by night.

A risk of the Celestial Realm coming down with all their fury, Nezha would be injured, and Chikao being imprisoned.

And Tongbi denied it.

Tongbi denied the dream. Chikao took the risk.

#tealstars #I'm actually #not that upset about this??#I really like the first few paragraphs of Chikao's stuff #and I got a bit run down on Tongbi's part but it's still like #good? maybe a little less?#it's on the likeable spectrum I guess lol #I tried to do a lot here so I hope it worked #if nothing else I think this helps get their personalities down a little bit more #also I'm dramatic as hell when I write I'm aware there's a reason I relate to Macaque so hard XD #I kinda tried to parallel their bits a bit?? I hope that worked #I think I managed to some extent highlight the difference between them I really wanted to highlight #and still squeeze in some other stuff that's harder to get through in just drawings and rambles #anyway actually pretty happy with this one so :333 #please tell me if you notice anything mainly bc I will be super happy if I got stuff across properly :3 #I need to just make a post collecting all the tealstar stuff together at this point XD #y'know what maybe I'll do that #imma go do that now maybe perhaps #anyway enjoy!! I'll stop rambling now lol

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