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#and then searches monster land high and low for him even after Cas abandons him
spnintheyearofourlord
·
8 months
Text
Okay Dean “You know I am not much for prayin’ ‘cause in my book it’s the same as beggin’” and “I prayed to you, Cas, every night” Winchester, I see you.
#destiel
#deancas
#dean winchester
#supernatural
#just thinking my little thoughts
#don’t look at me I’m having a moment
#something something no greater devotion than that to his brother who he’s praying for in the former yet this implies
#the same love and desperation fueling that must apply to Cas too
#do y'all see what I'm saying? does the connection make sense?
#especially s8 going forward Dean often takes the cake for toxicity I’m sorry it’s just true. HOWEVER. we need to talk about the softness
#that man shows to Cas in this season specifically.
#for ex: after Cas sternly shuts him down in 8x08 he doesn't get defensive and snap back like Dean often does
#he goes over and sits on the bed across from cas and softly says 'talk to me.' like i'm sorry? has dean ever said that??
#not that i recall. usually it's smthg like 'are you ok? no? that's rough buddy. shove it down.' bc that's what he was taught
#and mid-end of the prior season though his ‘don’t tell Cas the truth’ plan was not great it was pretty clear imo how deeply happy he was
#just to have cas back. broken or not he’d rather have him. .
#I don't know exactly what I'm trying to say that's why we're in the tags but it's just something about how Cas deeply betrayed them and we
#know how intensely Dean can hold a grudge yet when they get Cas back Dean's softer with him than he ever was before.
#and then searches monster land high and low for him even after Cas abandons him
#and connecting the former and latter quotes up there it's pretty clear how deep that devotion runs
#(platonically or romantically. to each their own reading. and not always healthily.)
#because he's as well as admitted he begged for Cas in purgatory. every. night.
#Dean 'I don't pray bc i don't beg and I'm not weak'
#Dean 'I would do anything for sam so i'll beg for help'
#Dean 'I prayed to you. I killed my way to you. did you hear my prayers?'
#it's just really somethin'.
#I have to wonder if Cas knows how big that is. He must right?
#(for my own tags)
#dean
#spn s8
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