#just thinking out aloud

[chemblrish]

11 March 2024

I was surprised that my solutions didn't crystallize over the past week to which my thesis supervisor said lightheartedly that it's normal and that he once waited for something to crystallize for THREE YEARS. I hope my solutions know I need to graduate some day.

#unrelated but i have this TERRIBLE habit of talking to myself while working in lab #i can't help it #thinking aloud helps me focus on what im doing #but today some of my precipitate stuck to the bottom of the beaker #and i just could not fricking scrape it #and i said 'you f electron piece of shit' OUT LOUD #and i have nothing to say in my own defense #(at least i was alone in the lab 😶) #mine #studyblr #chemblr #studyspo #study motivation #chemistry #thesis tag

[neolxzr]

no but like if you're still calling enstars bait and saying there are no canon queer characters in it ESPECIALLY after remplancer i think you need to look inwards a bit and examine what exactly your definition of queer media is

#cryn rambles #enstars #/nbh just thinking aloud #'arashi is the only canon lgbtq character' are we playing the same game #do they have to start making out onscreen and calling eachother boyfriends or whatever for it to count???? #thats stupid as hell!!!

[fluideli123]

Sonadow Fic Rec

Okay, before you jump down to the masterpieces listed below, I just wanted to state this:

These authors have given this phenomenal content for free, baked with time and effort. I have never once ignored this, hence why I try and comment on each and every one of these fics. However, my energy and ability to be verbose differs day to day. Some of these fics I have not given proper comments for, despite this, I will be on it the moment I can be. In the time being, (once I am able to find my comments on each of these fics) I will be sharing my adoration for them further in other posts (and most likely link back to this one).

With that being said, please, PLEASE take your time to check each of these fics out. If they're not your cup of tea? Valid! But hands down I have never dedicated myself to making a fic rec like this until now. But I MUST share and spread these works, they are much too dear to me not to, and I mean that from the bottom of my heart.

(All fics are listed by order saved in my bookmarks, not in the order read)

tangled threads and bite-marked shoulders by @rubyiiiusions

Words: 32,287 | Series | Complete

Shadow hissed in pain. The laser had just grazed him, but it still stung, and he instinctively gripped the wound it left on his arm. “You dare-” He stopped. The laser hadn’t hit him. In fact, it had struck Sonic, right on his lower left arm. So why did his forearm feel like it just got shot? He whipped around, fear climbing up his throat, and he suddenly became hyper-aware of something new. It was like a sixth sense, feeling the confusion that emitted from Sonic’s fur in waves as if it was his own. “What did you do?!” Shadow snarled. or, eggman accidentally soulbinds shadow and sonic, and no one has any idea how to undo it.

Sleepwalking by Tirainy

Words: 22,117 | Complete

'There is a strong arm curled around his torso, the appendage keeping him close to its owner, whose warm breath is ghosting over the back of his neck. Sonic is sure he went to bed alone the previous night, but he isn't worried about the intruder. After all, this isn't the first time this has happened…'

Secret Admirer by @trenchcoat-gecko

Words: 24,313 | Complete

Sonic understood well what it meant to be loved. He was a world-famous hero, after all; his presence never went unnoticed. For the most part, he lavished in that attention, he soaked it in and encouraged it. But not romantic attention. So, when the blue blur found himself falling in love? Well, the prospect was rather daunting, no matter how easy Amy had made it out to be. So maybe, just maybe, he should just take the easy way out...

Rose Drops Series by @magicstormfrostfire

Words: 122,489 | Series | Complete

Love, Intuition, and a little bit of magic ensues as Amy sends Sonic and Shadow on an unforgettable adventure.

Wolfboy by @trenchcoat-gecko

Words: 73,856 | Complete

World-famous monster hunter Shadow the Hedgehog has a job to do. It doesn't take long for the one-shot wonder to realize that this job won't be as simple as he'd expected: a small town, rumors of a lone werewolf, and a handsome, green-eyed, chronically-injured casanova who manages to worm his way into Shadow's heart... What starts off as a simple job turns out to be something much more life-changing.

Blizzard Bedfellows by @magicstormfrostfire

Words: 21,294 | Complete

When a rare blizzard takes over the island, Sonic is on the run to make sure a certain angry loner is safe and sound. Y-you know, because...uh that's what heroes do.

We never met but can we have a cup of coffee or something? by @whitejungle

Words: 3,630 | Complete

It's been almost two months since Sonic lost someone he didn't even know, but he can't stop thinking about it.

Clean Slate by nottheweirdest

Words: 155,880 | Complete | Note: Squeal pending and I am cheering you on author!! Whatever you decide I am excited to support you!!

Shadow has lost himself before. He knows what it's like to straddle the line between reality and false memories, but this time, it’s Sonic whose memory has vanished. A premeditated set of circumstances and an accidental injury leave Sonic with no memory of who he is, his life, or more importantly, his painful history with Shadow. It’s up to Shadow to remind the hero who he is in the midst of a global outbreak. It’s a chance for redemption. It’s a chance to right the wrongs of the past. It’s a clean slate.

say i reckon (i love you, for a millisecond) by @redamancering

Words: 30,205 | Complete

There’s a hand on his shoulder, barely making contact. A red gauntlet glows around the wrist. Sonic blinks, the pain having evaporated so fast he feels almost weightless. “Shadow?” Shadow’s breathing heavily. “Problem.” The retrieval of the ancient tech Shadow (and Sonic, in tow) has been sent to uncover takes a turn for the worst. In this case, the “worst” means… becoming physically and inextricably linked to each other. For the foreseeable future. OR: Metaphysical handcuffs, and general gay buffoonery.

Judge my sins, not my feelings by yellothebeeloved

Words: 228,479 | Complete | Note: Possible one-shots pending from the author for the series, I am here to support you author!! What ever you decide I'm here for it!

Maybe he's not meant to touch. It's the newest excuse he thought of in hopes that he could prolong the game a little more; a careful ruse to enjoy the bittersweet torture of seeing the days pass them by, while he pretends he doesn't seek azure blue whenever he's restless. At first, all he wanted to do was watch: but now the desire to touch, to have, to affect is at a point where he's not sure whether reaching for Sonic would truly be fruitless. He wonders that especially when Sonic's eyes light up upon seeing him. When he corners Shadow, when he invades his space and he touches and takes and then excuses it by calling it a fight. Shadow truly wonders then: if only he was brave enough to reach out, what would his grip find? Loose stars or a battle-worn body? Standing up, he glances at Sonic again, whose eyes have now met his own. There's something heavy in the eye contact, something Shadow doesn't dare name. Neither of them say anything, and yet Sonic's eyes move away from him again, like they did. Shadow warps away, hiding from the stars once more.

Child of Prophecy by @trenchcoat-gecko

Words: 139,321 | Completed

On the night the Mobius Castle was ransacked, the Queen received a prophecy. “One of three will not cry; send him down the river, for you can only save your kingdom if he does not grow up royal.”

Coming Home by nottheweirdest

Words: 55,740 | Completed

Shadow's life has been full of mistakes, some worse than others, but admitting his unrequited feelings to Sonic tops the list. He's spent the better part of a decade ruminating on his regret and hiding from feelings he couldn't bear to face. He never thought he'd see Sonic again, and he told himself that was for the best. Until now. At the bequest of his former rival, and in an attempt to finally get closure, Shadow has returned to Central City. The reason? Sonic the Hedgehog is marrying Amy Rose. And Shadow is invited.

#I hope you all understand how many of these I have been in call reading to my friends #How many I have tried to draw shadow and sonic for #how many of them inspire my own writing #How I have dreamed about these fics so often I wouldn't be suprised if it rivaled my time fighting sleep to finish them in mere days #Also the AMOUNT of times I've wanted to pull out my microphone and read them aloud #Even though I would be absolutely horrible at reading them like audio books but you know what? fuck it #For these fics I would read them aloud the best I can #GOD JUST #I cant imagine a world where I never read these and its scary to think if they were never shared #Mostly because they actually genuinely impacted me in meaningful ways #I've cried real tears and felt such genuine emotion that I've been changed #Even if it's int he smallest bit #But it happened ya know? #Just- god I love you fic authors sm #Your work is never lost not to me #fox speaks #sonadow #fic #fic rec #fanfiction #writing #fanfic #sonic #sonic the hedgehog #shadow the hedgehog #sonic x shadow #sonic fanfiction #sonic underground #sonic universe #sonic prime

[alpacacare-archive]

inside you there are two wolfs

#repostober #day 19 #undertale #alphys #gaster #wd gaster #ive given you old man gaster & alphys father daughter friendship dynamic #now its time for same age group queer nerd coworker besties #this was inspired by a con i went to #when i was there i couldnt help but notice two prominent kinds of people #cosplayers/anime fans dressed in cutesy merch and clothes(/positive) #and gamer nerds who were also dressed in merch and pins of games they liked (/positive) #and i also couldnt help but notice that its them #they are in fact discussing an anime they watched and with them both being academics i can only assume that every argument is extremely #detailed well thought out and informed. id like to believe that they sometimes site sources. aloud. #details i love in this are alphys painting her tail to look like mewmews for her cosplay i just think its cute hdfks #you can pry aroace gaster out of my cold dead hands that man made his children in tubes i just know it #also i shouldve drawn him wearing portal merch i almost wanna redraw this just for that #actually i really wanna redraw this i think. i wont rn (i am so. tired) but i feel enough anger at gaster not wearing #an aperture science t shirt that it might make me draw again

[queenlucythevaliant]

There was a park a few blocks away from Uncle Harold and Aunt Alberta’s home in Cambridge where Lucy would often wander that summer when she wanted to be alone. She’d tuck a book under her arm and call to Edmund, “I’m going!” and then she’d go find herself a tree.

Branches waved gently, like fingers against the sky. Lucy would settle herself on her favorite bench and try to read, but sometimes she just found herself gazing at those branches. When she was sure the park was empty, she’d succumb to her most fanciful impulse to get up and walk among them. Wake, she’d think, and imagine the faces that each kind of tree would have.

Lucy knew it was fancy, but it wasn’t delusion. She could tell the difference. After all, it had been truth that first set her on the path to Narnia, dismissed as both delusion and fancy.

At school she read Shakespeare and Charles Dickens. She painted Prospero with Coriakin’s coloring, high wiry brows and sun-wrinkled skin. She gave him long fingers, an imaginative touch—Coriakin’s had been rather short and stubby—and heard the poetry in her own voice. She read aloud to her friends sometimes, just picked up wherever she was and read while Marjorie and Josephine curled up under blankets with mugs of hot tea.

“It sounds better when you read it,” Marjorie mused. “Even if it is musty old Shakespeare.”

There were glimpses of gold in puddles on the pavement, and Lucy found herself glancing up as though she expected to find Aslan in her periphery. He wasn't there, of course, but the sunset shot light into the street and made it shine. Aslan wasn't in the chapel at school either, but the bells pealed golden every hour. He wasn't stalking beneath her dormitory window, but there were fresh footprints in the snow.

Lucy was sure that if only she could remember the spell for making hidden things visible, she'd find her whole world cloaked in tawny, velvet gold. Aslan in the kitchen, Aslan in the sky at dawn. Aslan in the faces of her friends, who laughed when Lucy said fanciful things but who listened rapt when she read aloud.

"I swear, you and your read-alouds, Lucy Pevensie," grinned Josephine as the cover fell shut. "Why, it's almost as though you believe in all the stories! You're not theatrical, just credulous." So Lucy leaned back and taught her friend how to tell if someone was lying, or delusional, or if they had a marvelous truth to tell.

On lonely weekends, Lucy begged Professor Digory to take her with him to Oxford to see the great stone halls and the towering cathedral and she loved the way the angels’ sloping wings looked against the sky. Wake, she whispered as she passed by graves and monuments to those long dead, and imagined that she might see Aslan pacing behind them, ready to breathe them back to life.

#i read some Narnia aloud to my sister the other night and this kind of hit me #very little revising just here it is #sometimes I think I will spend my whole life digging Lucy Pevensie out of my soul #narnia #dear darling heart-daughter of aslan #pontifications and creations #leah stories

[south-sea]

i think a lot of people don’t always realize the difference between “this is how i interpret canon” and “this is how i want to write it because that’s what’s fun to me”. a lot of times the latter is all headcanons or AUs are, not an indication of what the writer thinks “is” or “should be” canon

more power to those who are super tuned into actual canon and know these details like the back of their hand, but sometimes people just wanna use a series as a sandbox, not a ruleset. genuinely nothing but respect for people who ARE that knowledgeable, but i and a lot of other people are just here to have fun with characters we enjoy—and want to put them in more accessible settings

#this isn't meant to be grandstanding or anything i'm just thinking aloud. i know i've said stuff like this before it just hit me suddenly #thinking about those weird anons from a while back who were really getting on my case about this #and i could not wrap my head around what the problem was because it’s like. that’s why it’s an au? #why are you mad about details of an au not lining up with canon #that’s the whole point of it being. an au #like of course shadow would normally be able to visit certain places. of course he should already know omega. #but there is a deliberate reason why second chance shadow can't/doesn't #and now i realize it's probably because they were seeing my posts entirely out of context #but still don't go attacking people for out of context posts either?? #i'm shocked no one's seriously gotten on my case about aruna's hive yet because it's a prime example of 'intentionally nowhere near canon' #and like overall just don't be a penders and you're fine #lord knows i've got plenty of 'characters who have strayed so far from canon they may as well be OCs' in my pocket #but i still acknowledge they're not by definition OCs yknow #sometimes you just wanna use a funny lil guy as groundwork and then do your own thing #sea talks

[ourflagmeansgayrights]

i'm not usually in fandoms for things that have like, live-action actors playing the characters (idk why i just tend to get into books, cartoons, webcomics, podcasts, etc). but the few times i've been somewhat invested in a live-action media for fandom reasons (mcu, teen wolf, pacific rim, star wars) i've seen fans waxing poetic about a character's/actor's eyes. and i've literally never understood the hype, i've just been like "yeah idk theyre eyes? i dont get what's so special about them tho"

what im saying is that not only are Taika Watiti's eyes the first time i've understood the hype but ofmd is also the first time i've actually noticed an actor's eyes before seeing fandom being obsessed with them. that's the power of taika's Massive Fucking Peepers i guess

#mine #taika waititi #og #txt #idk why im making this post #justtt thinking aloud i guess idk #ppl would be like “UGH steve's eyes!! UGH stiles's eyes!!!” and i was like uh yeah they sure do have eyes i guess #this would be really bad in FIC oh my god they'd go on and on abt a character's soulful eyes and i'd just think back to canon and be like #“i mean. they're literally just eyes.” #reading ofmd fic where they make a big deal out of ed's eyes just makes sense bc yeah. yeah his eyes are insane. #3rd person limited talking abt how stede is getting dizzy just from ed looking at him and im like ME TOO STEDE

[crimeronan]

On the topic of How Do You Handle XYZ Comment, I've always wondered how you handle terrible responses on your toh takes. Like I know the toh fandom doesn't lack piss on the poor reading comprehension and they also really enjoy wildly out of touch takes, but I've never seen any comments on your princess luz stuff of that nature. I'm sure they must be there but maybe I'm too early? But anyway, how do you tend to deal with the "acktually shipping luz and Hunter is incest" and the "ur not a real lesbian because putting amity in a poly ship is lesbian erasure" and the "as a white person kinda sus you make the poc woman an empress" kind of responses? Ones that are technically not hate and maybe if you squint could be from people who aren't inherently trying to do bad but just lack the maturity needed to engage with the internet at large?

this ask made me giggle. honestly, i haven't received as much pushback as you might expect! way less pushback than i expected. in the princess AU, i've gotten a LOT more "this is actually too grotesque for me to stomach" comments than "this is problematic" comments, which is fine. horror-thriller isn't for everyone, those comments do not upset me.

i have had a Few run-ins with bad faith people, whom i mostly block. there's one prolific commenter in toh tumblr fandom who would repeatedly write angry essays on my humor meta posts -- essays that were all about how belos is too evil to be sympathetic and/or about how hunter is a soft gentle boy who shouldn't be jokingly referred to as evil. then they'd go "i can't help my active and conscious decision to type a bunch of rude fucking words and then my active and conscious decision to send those rude fucking words because i'm autistic :(((" around the fourth or fifth time this happened, i was fucking done with that nonsense and finally blocked them. shoulda done it after the first comment tbh!! no more autism exceptions.

as for the rest of it, my main management strategy is to simply.... preempt the bad faith comments?

i had a LOT more unpleasant and conflict-filled fandom experiences when i was in the raven cycle fandom. that was my first exposure to "you can't ship multi-gender polycules if anyone involved is gay" and "queerplatonic het relationships are just heteronormativity shipping that you're trying to get away with." having dealt with those takes before, i've found a few different ways to disarm bad faith readers before they get started.

first is to be super open and honest about my interests. i talk about what i find compelling in different relationships All The Damn Time. it's really hard for anyone to accuse me of only wanting hunter to fuck amity if they've seen, like.... anything i've said about hunter and amity.

same with hunter and luz. the only negative reactions i've really gotten to how they're written in the princess AU is like.... two people being squicked by camila thinking they're romantically involved. i REALLY expected more pushback on the touchyfeely bed sharing stuff, but from what i remember, there's never been Any....? not even from people who consider them siblings.

i expected a lot of pushback on how mean hunter and amity are to each other, since it's taken So much farther than the canon. but it turns out that there's a very large overlap between people who like dark horror AUs and people who like hunter and amity murdering each other. (in a fluffy fic i don't think this characterization would fly Nearly as easily.)

i find that being funny really disarms people, too. when you look at any of my toh meta posts that could be controversial, they're basically all funny. people are a lot more willing to listen to what you have to say if you make them laugh, and it's harder for them to get angry at you.

and then the last thing is that i think i'm in sort of a privileged position in toh fandom. i've written a lot of controversial subjects and relationships and characterizations.... but i've also written some WILDLY popular mainstream fic. and people who like the mainstream fic don't really want to beef with me about differing niche opinions, bc there's a level of respect there. which they might not have for a writer they don't like.

but anyway. when things Do happen, i almost always just block and move on. there are so many people here who get what i'm talking about that there's no need for me to try to convert people who don't, you know??

#also the 'making a character of color an empress is problematic' thing made me laugh aloud #as for THAT... i don't think i've ever been accused of racism in how i write luz (or camila or raine or darius or hennessy for that matter) #i'm obviously imperfect and have blind spots as a white writer. but i also like to think i do my due diligence #at the Very Least i have Black and latine friends willing to sensitivity read for me & i've gone to native spanish speakers for camila's #dialogue. etc. if anyone has a take that's THAT bad faith about how i write women of color i'm just gonna uh..... #assume that what they really mean is that they want me to write white boys exclusively. #and well. i will not be doing that! #replies #toh #princess luz au #long post #if there are typos in this i apologize. i was out again all day and i am Le Tired

[jils-things]

more of a reminder to myself but i think it works for others too

its okay to have a crush on characters and create content for the selfship once and not do it again. sometimes its just that little burst of motivation of "if i cant immortalize an imagery of me kissing them then whats the point" they don't have to be your fo immediately its okay to just. create something out of it to let out that lil excitement and they're just a crush

others might expect that you'll be creating more content with them since you might've made a really well thought out concept for your insert/oc but its not the case and thats okay

#this is me with a lot of my pokemon crushes and i dont really bother to say it aloud because its. really minor but sometimes they just swoop #in my head momentarily and im like ohhh i gotta. make something. #me with morty AJAJSJHEJS no but i have a lot of really cute ideas in my head lollll #bil.ly kid works too - but also because the game isnt officially out yet for me to get a grip of the concept #like im also beginning to remember and realize i had MORE genshin crushes than i thought i had but its not worth mentioning because. #ill probably not talk about it again LMAO #thooo if anyone i think morty is gonna be crush im willing to draw a lot for #~ rambling #i think i got off track but yeah

[aingeal98]

Having Bruce and Cass and the Robins thoughts and they're a bit messy and jumbled so bear with me.

Idk how to explain why the Bruce and Cass messed up but loving dynamic is so much more appealing to me than his toxic relationship with his other kids but I guess it's because the entirety of Batgirl 2000 understands that Bruce is not a perfect parent. His flaws and virtues are both deliberately and carefully written and his relationship with Cass is so layered and it makes it so that I can both laugh and cringe, appreciate the sweet moments and rage at some of his more shitty moves. It's not perfect but overall the writing is just GOOD, and there's enough material to form a solid core of understanding even when their dynamic grows past Cass's solo run. This is Cass and Bruce and this is how they tick and no writer has been able to thoroughly screw that up no matter how hard some of them were pushed to by editorial.

Compare that to how he's written with his other kids, where every writer has their own version and some have him be a perfect dad and others have him be shitty and frame it as "He's got this darkness in him" while another group of writers have him absolutely brutalise his kids or neglect them or gaslight them for angst all while knowing the kids will never receive any sort of narrative justice for this because he's Batman and he's the big flagship hero. There is no single run you can point to and say yes this here showcases the heart of the dynamic between him and Tim or him and Damian, no single run so good that all other comics about their dynamic use it as their basis for this bond between father and child. There is no consistency and no communication or understanding between writers or even an attempt to pick up what the other puts down. Batman comics will have him be a good parent or a bad parent but either way it will be all about Him. Batfamily comics tend to have him just be absolutely awful and then a few months later they have to pretend it never happened because the main bat books want to make him a good parent again.

It's all shock value that rarely lasts past the arc and writer. When Tom Taylor has Dick hug Bruce and call him dad I'm remembering that time Bruce beat him into a bloody pulp or backhanded him across the face and Dick never got to call him out on it. But we're not meant to be thinking about that in Taylor's run because this is a Good Dad Bruce comic. Taylor's Bruce and Dick dynamic is completely different to the New 52 dynamic the same way that dynamic is different to Wolfman's which is different to the original Batman and Robin. And that variety can be a great thing when it comes to comics but the downside here is that you can pick Bruce's "good dad" comics or you can pick his abusive asshole comics but you cannot find the middle ground that Batgirl 2000 hit because (controversial opinion I guess) it doesn't exist for the batboys and no writer has successfully managed to pull all the different comics together and create one.

Fans have tried. Fans have pieced together a decent narrative from the mess of inconsistencies, taking the moments of almost cartoonish abuse and the moments where Bruce is shown to care, and forming the image of a complicated and nuanced abusive parent from it all. But the great thing about Batgirl 2000 is you don't have to do all that effort of trying to make the happy fluffy hero batman and the edgy punches his sons Batman fit into one character. The writing does it and does it in a more realistic fashion too, which is saying something considering the big Bruce and Cass emotional fight is solved by Bruce letting them both get drugged and fight bloodlusted. I do think there are moments when it hypes Bruce's bad parenting up a tiny bit but compared to the absolute mess that is the writing of say, Bruce and Jason? It's just so much easier to actually engage with. Being on the same page as a narrative instead of chafing against it is just a much better way for me to read comics.

That's not to say there isn't any kind of narrative and canon dynamic for Bruce and the Robins. Tim's Robin run, Dick's various runs, UTRH, Batman and Robin etc. Just that for me none of them hit that balance Cass and Bruce's dynamic succeeded in hitting during Batgirl 2000. And to be fair it's harder to hit that balance when you're working with characters who have been through the hands of so many different authors before landing on your doorstop. UTRH probably comes closest but unfortunately everything that came after that did manage to shake the emotional foundation utrh set up to the point you can look back on it and wonder if Bruce cared about Jason much at all, despite the writer clearly not wanting it to be seen that way.

Not sure how much sense this makes but to me it's the difference between a bad parent Bruce I am actually interested in engaging with and a bad parent Bruce where I just want the kids to team up and knock his teeth out.

#dc #cassandra cain #batfam #bruce wayne #dc rambles #This is a very long and very rambley ramble. Sorry if you've made it to the end and are confused #I'm not sure if I had a point or if I was just thinking aloud #And I'm sure others will disagree with me here #But this was mostly me trying to tease through why I can accept comics making Bruce a good dad to Cass #And enjoy it fully. Whereas with the Robin boys I'm like hmm OK #but are you going to address any of the messed up stuff he put them through just last month #“he cares and he's not good at it but he's trying (but jury's still out on how successful his attempts are) " #Vs “he cares and he's good at it PYSCH he needs to be locked up on child abuse charges! Wait jk! it's batman he's a hero don't worry.”

[themthistles]

something about the way guilt is portrayed in beyond evil. guilt as a state, guilt as a place you're condemned to. 'i will go to hell' 'life is hell' 'you shouldn't even set foot in that hell' but it's not really the hell we think of, not in the traditional sense. hell is where you're supposed to be sent to suffer and repent forever but all of them go there willingly. (that's why han kihwan will never end up there as juwon wants because he feels no remorse over his actions) they choose to stay and let it scorch the life out of them until all that's left is someone hollow and brittle, real person buried beneath the surface in a grave they themselves dug. in that way it's not lee changjin or the water that killed nam sangbae. it's guilt. that's what doomed him in the end. that hell of his own making he never managed to escape. and as he drowned, he probably thought he deserved that too. jeongje's still there until the end but so much of him died long ago. he's a ghost haunting himself. he tells juwon 'if you don't get out quickly, every breath, every moment of your life becomes a nightmare' if you stay that hell alone long enough, that's what happens. at a certain point you can't wake up anymore. you forget how to leave

#there are these parallels between nsb jj and jw #how both of them give him advice that comes from experience #'don't do this you'll regret it' 'don't do this there's no coming back from it' and both times he doesn't listen and ends up just like them #jw's almost a ghost in the beginning like jj but ds and manyang yank him back to life #and then ds doesn't let jw become another nsb he refuses to let him stay in that hell alone he says as much #i think ds learned how to claw his way out a long time ago #what he says in ep14 #'wouldn't regret be a luxury for me' #a luxury #he understands that guilt at its most extreme is ultimately self serving #because it keeps you in this woe me state where you become so obsessed with your own failure that everything else gets drowned out by it #ds does the opposite he decenters himself in his mind focuses on the pain of others instead of his own #'this is how he makes himself happy' this is how he survives #he knows that wallowing in guilt won't do any good won't change anything what's done is done he accepts it #he says 'if i could go back i WOULD do the same thing again because that's all he could ever do #he did what he thought was right at the time now he has to live with it #nsb can't figure that out can't accept his mistakes can't move on from them so he's stuck in the past #he dies stuck in the past #'you want to cry aloud for your mistakes but to tell the truth the world doesn't need any more of that sound' you know? #that i think is the point in the end #but does that ever fuck you up how jj nsb and jw (for a while) are driven by guilt but ds always acts out of love #he has so much of it despite everything #and juwon only surivives because he starts acting out of love and care and devotion instead of shame and remorse #beyond evil

[jackoshadows]

I noticed that someone said the quiet part aloud on the tags.

Oh, and also this post was tagged Jon Snow for some reason, probably because Sansa treating Jon like a bastard makes her a ‘soft girl’, I dunno 🙄

It’s basically this isn’t it? Sansa gives ‘soft girl/fairy tale’ vibes because she goes along with the patriarchal ideals of oppressing people who are different, who belong to a different class, who don’t fit into society’s idea of the right kind of gender, class, race, sexuality etc.  Arya is messy, spoiled and bratty because she gets along with the small folk, she fights back, she wants different things, she is unhappy with the status quo - hence she is not a ‘soft girl’ with fairy tale vibes.

Wanting to be treated fairly is like ‘modern person views’, has nothing to do with empathy, a basic sense of fairness or right and wrong. Nah, there’s not just enough of ‘fairy tale’ in helping the less fortunate and minorities wanting to be treated equally. It’s not like people have been fighting for rights since the start of civilization - it’s just a modern day phenomenon.

I wouldn’t have a problem if this person had just said, ‘I find Sansa more interesting because she’s a character that strongly believes in the patriarchal system of rules and laws of her world unlike her siblings and that makes her unique amongst the Starks’. Rather, what stood out for me is the way they describe Sansa as ‘soft and fairy tale like’ for being a bigot, but the Arya who plays with the babies of the kitchen cooks and picks flowers for her father will never be that.

This is why Sansa’s the fandom bicycle who gets shipped with every Tom, Dick and Harry in the series, why are her fanon crackships are more popular, why they take away from the ‘non soft’ girls like Arya and Daenerys to give to Sansa. This is why Jonsa is a thing - because Sansa has ‘soft girl/fairy tale’ vibes and they want that fairy tale romance and ending for her.

Why folks want or are looking for a fairy tale princess in a grimdark fantasy series where the author is deliberately deconstructing and subverting all these fairy tale tropes (Jaime/Brienne, Sansa/Sandor) is beyond me in the first place and secondly, I like how the post just ignores that this ‘soft girl’ with fairy tale energy mocked her little sister for being ‘ugly’, horse-faced and unsatisfactory.

[Note: I do acknowledge that this post at the least is different to the usual ‘Sansa is so realistic like a modern day 11 year old’ when excusing all her actions because she’s just a real world child and notes that Sansa is actually a character who believes in the rules of her world and hence a bigot. It’s just the equating of this bigot to being a ‘soft girl’ with ‘fairy tale’ energy that gets me 😂]

#Not tagging this one #Just thinking out aloud...

[angelpuns]

Mmm thinking about trying Patreon again even though I will inevitably get burnt out and never want to draw again - like on one hand I have all the time in the world rn but on the other hand making comics my job would inevitably make me hate drawing comics-

Part of the reason I stopped working on rural au/Finch in the Window was because trying to update consistently was killing my motivation and the reason I'm able to work on L330-N au rn with such fervor is because I know I get to work on Kid Lek next and vice versa. Plus there's the like- 3 additional, non Au comics I need to work on

Idk its a thought but at the same time its probably going to be worse for me in the end - plus I don't really have any other things to put on patreon and early access simply doesn't exist for me.

#like on one hand #need job #on the other hand #want draw #this is just me talking ti myself btw #just thinking aloud #i need to get a job ;-; #but one that i wont get terribly burnt out by

[grendelsmilf]

the way that succession takes the ancient trope of the power struggle between Father & Child and modernizes it so that instead of the Father representing the patriarchal state through kingship, he is now a billionaire ceo whose kingdom is his corporation. it’s still blurring the lines between Fatherhood & Fatherland, the way the Family is simultaneously insular & intimate and representative of society at large (the sickness infecting society from the top down, from the crown out), but instead of challenging the divine right of kings, succession recognizes that america operates instead on the divine right of capital; power takes the same shape, but in a different coat of paint. what im saying is it’s a good show.

#House of Roy #o.tv #was talking abt this today w my friend who is on s2 now #how it’s like a greek tragedy #or king lear #or whatever got of thot was trying to do but failed lmao #also yes I am aware I am FAR from the first person to point this out #I’m just procrastinating & thinking aloud rn #100

[butchladymaria]

feeling like the several year old post i made abt the specific type grhman enjoyers acting like they r being Oppressed TM bc not everyone agrees w their opinions abt him is topical again. like come on now. i feel like 99% of the reason he’s a “controversial” character is because like. you cant express even the mildest observation of nuance beyond “he was a good person with good intentions whose actions had no negative impact because everything bad that happened was somehow someone else’s fault” or god forbid misogyny w/o people acting like you shot their dog lol

#not tagging this w shit lmao #its just the persecution complex the size of the sun idk #idc if people think this guy’s a poor widdle sad old man who did nothing wrong ever in his life #i think they have piss poor media literacy sure #but like ultimately people r entitled to have bad takes #but when ur going out of ur way to cry harassment bc someone on the internet disagreed w u. maybe its time to log off #idk i did my time in this shithole tar pit of discourse im out lol #p sure i blocked the like 3-4 people w very loud victim complexes on the topic already but like #for the record : i do not care #like. obviously dont harass people ???? over this ???? #but also i know myself and several others that have been hounded for weeks or months for just. idk. not thinking hes a good person #or having the audacity to dislike him aloud

[princeminnow]

this is my blog and my regression.

dni nsfw/kink

#txt #i have a whole thing in drafts that gets into it better i might post later but.. #idk. this blog is meant to be my safe space and continues to be personal even if it has more followers than i thought it would #and its hard not to phase my own expression out for the sake of an audience who doesnt wanna see the ugly parts #i do want to clarify as i usually am with these kinds of tag heavy posts that im just thinking aloud and processing my thoughts this way #also yes this is fine to rb bc i think its a good thing to remember