Tumgik
#just texting and belittling me
uglywhitefatherfigure · 6 months
Text
random thought but I find it curious how many people consider he/him to be the only correct pronouns to use for togata. is he canonically trans? yes! do i refer to him with he/him and consider that to be correct? yes! does he canonically want to be referred to as male? not really…
you can definitely make the point that togata’s aversion to being referred to as male comes from not believing that anyone could truly see him as male and that under different circumstances he WOULD want to be referred to with he/him (and this is an analysis I think is true) but I think that to erase togata’s view of his own presentation and declare that he canonically uses he/him is to do a disservice to his character
46 notes · View notes
bunnihearted · 5 months
Text
sometimes i fantasize abt being the one with the clingy gf instead of being the clingy gf ㅠㅠ
17 notes · View notes
lockawayknight · 1 year
Text
[|87
#been burdening my friends and partner too much with bitching about life but talking abt it makes me feel better so. i’m here.#new job is awful. but in a weird way.#i’m learning things and love my coworkers and the location and clients and work itself#but my boss is. my god.#it’s a little local place owned by one woman operated from inside her extra home on her property#she runs everything#and she is nice but she is??? loud ig. abusively loud#she screams and cusses and berates and belittles everyone and like#they all think it’s silly. it’s just her personality. they laugh or shrug it off. it’s just how she is. but i can’t do it#every day i tear up or cry on the way home cus she raises her voice at me or i hear her cussing and screaming in the back about like#me fucking up. over silly things. like i took a message for her but didnt say it was urgent.#then i hear her in the back HOW COULD SHE FUCK UP LIKE THIS SHE SHOULD KNOW THIS SHIT THIS IS SUCH SIMPLE SHIT WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH HER#and i just cant handle it man!!!#and she is so nice and supportive and texts me almost every night to ask how i am and if i’m okay#and like fuck dude i guess?????? but im also!!!!! not!!!!!!!!#my partner and mom both said i should quit and i think im. gonna.#the other place that wanted me is still hiring. i’m gonna talk to them monday and see if i can take that job still#but fuck dude. i dont wanna tell my boss im leaving. i dont think she’ll blow up but if she does?????#idk#i just hate that things aren’t getting better. i dunno. i just wanna cry and sleep all day#hopefully i get the other job and my boss understands. we’ll see.#thanks for reading
9 notes · View notes
raen1 · 2 years
Text
this insane unhealthy urge to do everything on my own is making me want to scream my lungs out
45 notes · View notes
yuridovewing · 8 months
Note
I think another problem with Ivypool is that she never, even briefly faces consequences for the way she treats Dovewing. Granted, like you pointed out Hollyleaf has similar issues and I 100% agree with that, but at the very least the clan does feel uncomfortable with her briefly when she returns, which is at least something. Doesn't change how the books portray Leafpool as the only one in the wrong or both sidesing it, but y'know. Whereas Ivypool never has Dovewing turn away from her, Ivypool never has her clanmates mistrust her for how she behaves towards her sister like they did when Hollyleaf returned. Dovewing always has to apologize to Ivypool, no matter how hurtful and controlling she is.
YEAH that definitely contributes to it. Despite what people say, Ivypool is a perfectly acceptable member of ThunderClan by the time AVoS is happening. She’s had two apprentices, she’s seen as honorable, and her word alone sways most of the Clan into not sending a patrol to find SkyClan. Right now she’s in line to be deputy. She’s got an acceptable mate and her family loves her. Yes, she’s ABSOLUTELY traumatized from the Dark Forest and I really like the interpretation of her where she became a hardcore traditionalist to try and “redeem” herself and she’s projecting that onto her sister. I’m not saying her life is perfect, it’s not, her daughter’s double dead.
But when she’s being controlling to Dovewing, she’s totally backed up. She joined Blossomfall and Rosepetal on pressuring Dovewing to get with Bumblestripe because “you owe it to him to return his feelings” (btw Whitewing was part of this too, so thats her Mom on her side), Twigpaw thinks Ivypool was right and justified for stopping the patrol because crossclan relationships are worse than people dying. From what I’ve read up to, whenever Ivypool feels guilty for her actions, she’s got someone rubbing her back like “nooooo no honey you were right! its in the past now anyways!” It’s mostly self inflicted guilt, and that evaporates when she realizes Dovewing isn’t coming home.
To be completely fair, from some screenshots I see, she does try to reconcile with Dovewing. I’ll judge that when I get there. But yeah, even from Tigerheart and Dovewing, they’re like “augh that was hurtful but she’s right :( I deserve this” (Or Tigerheart is, at least.) The only one who ever hold Ivypool accountable is Ivypool. And even that’s limited.
2 notes · View notes
aftermathing · 1 year
Text
.
0 notes
theafrochick · 1 year
Text
Unsure if bad taste or just have been cleaved from the hive mind.
0 notes
littlemourningstar · 1 year
Text
Sorry, small personal rant regarding an exchange I had about my disability
Me born with a hip defect, inherited a chronic pain disease from my grandmother, and has various other medical issues: damn both my legs hurt today been a while since they both hurt at the same time lol
My husbands ex who knows that won’t help me but just likes to cause drama: “use em more?”
Gee why didn’t I think of that?? It’s almost like that has nothing to do with why I’m in pain and I use them plenty enough as it is.
shut up shut up shut up shut up
1 note · View note
sanakimohara · 4 months
Note
My friend just introduced me to a new thing
Bully I.N, he’s just super mean to you, pushes you around, pulls your hair, slaps and gropes you. But then when people are around he’s super nice and the compete opposite of what he just did to you.
And he’s only mean to you, no one else. He’d just randomly slap you or when sitting down just puts his hands in your pants, and duh don’t forget the degrading.
I think it plays into people seeing him as innocent and nice when in reality he’s kinky and fucked up
Just an idea for you if you want 🧡🥰
“TEAR YOU APART” Y. J.
Tumblr media
You and your friend are masterminds, love. 🖤 Now I want to do a series based on this idea! :) but I’ll settle with writing a snippet prequel for the time being… 🖤
[ MDNI ]
++++++
Bully Jeongin starts his campaign against you with name calling -and not the cliche creative kind that people can laugh at. No, he prefers to label you with his own perversions. Taking every chance he can get to whisper in your ear, “How’s my little bitch doing today, hm?..” “Is my slut sad already?…” “You’re such an attention whore. It’s pathetic..” “Where do you think you’re going dumb bunny…” At first you snap back insults but overtime his consistent belittling makes you less angry and increasingly compliant. You’d never admit to him that your resentment was slowly twisting into a form of pining. Your pride wouldn’t allow it…
Bully Jeongin elevates to blackmailing you when the opportunity arises. Pictures and videos of you changing, texts or risqué pictures between you and your previous crush that he’s miraculously gotten his hands on, and maybe even a voice note of you touching yourself that he coerced you into making as ‘punishment’ for even thinking about another guy. “You wouldn’t want him to find out about all these inappropriate pictures you took for me, right?” He had you cornered, faking concern as he held up his phone for you to see. You face paled as pictures of you undressing showed on the screen. How’d he even get those? Why did he have them? “J-Jeongin I never took those! N-not for you, anyway…and you know that!” You try to defend yourself but panic starts to set in as you consider what Jeongin would do to keep you under his heel. He grins, shutting his phone off before slipping it into his pocket as he leans in closer to you. His eyes bare into yours, swirling with mischief as he taunts you, “Who do you think people will believe? Me? Or some whiny little slut who can’t keep her legs closed?…” Your heart sinks as his threat echoes in your brain. “You wouldn’t…” “Oh, you know I would. Don’t act so surprised dumb bunny…”
Bully Jeongin knows you go to your classes/meetings early, follows you there when he can, and uses every minute alone with you to do his worst. No one thinks to come check on you. No one even considers the notion that you’re being groped and slapped around endlessly -up against a wall, on his lap, or bent over a desk. You try to scream or cry but Jeongin learns how to silence you rather quickly. Sinking his fingers into your mouth works best in his opinion, but he’s a fan of gagging you with your own panties too. Either way you’re left panting and nearly in tears as he takes advantage of you. He’s careful not to slap you hard enough to leave a noticeable mark, all the while cooing vulgar praises in your ear as you whine from the stinging pain that sears your cheek, and inevitably your ass gets the same treatment. “What’d I tell you about wearing anything under your skirt, little slut?” He slaps your backside again, harder than before, and you whine into his hand that’s clasped over your mouth, shivering as he snakes his free hand under your skirt to rip the lace fabric off your lower half. The cold air hitting your dripping cunt makes you groan softly and you pray he doesn’t notice the effect his torture has on you, but Jeongin knows…he’s known for a while. That’s why he has no remorse for what he does to you, feels no sympathy as he tucks your panties into his pocket, and is all smiles when he finally lets you go the moment people gradually start to fill the room.
Bully Jeongin is incredibly sweet to everyone but you. Greeting them with the kindest smile -one you’ve never experienced in earnest. His charm resonates through each interaction he has with the staff and close friends. It amazes you how cruel he can be behind closed doors but deep down you wait for those moments….secretly craving them. In those fleeting pockets of time he’s true to his darkest tendencies, fully himself, and in some sick way you begin to believe he only feels comfortable around you to be just that….his truest self. That’s the cynical logic keeping you from snapping, admitting defeat, and openly confessing your crush on him. He’d probably laugh at your stupidity if you did…
Bully Jeongin claims you’re one of his ‘sweetest’ friends when someone asks about your connection to him. He’ll flash a smile your way, placing a firm hand on your lower back to bring you close to his side, and stare down into your soul. He’s daring you to tell the truth, playing with your psyche without even trying, and he’ll win the game so easily that it makes your head spin. Everybody loves him, wants to be with him, but little do they know he’s got you to play with. Why would he pay any mind to anyone else when you were such a familiar, willing, and easy target? You don’t deny him when slips a hand into your panties under the desk/table. You stand obediently when he reaches between your thighs to cup your mound, playing with your soaked folds as you try to focus on doing your job/homework. You moan so timidly into his ear every-time he ruts his hardened cock against your ass, which unconsciously pushes back into him for more, and he’ll let you until you’re interrupted or he comes undone in his pants. The push and pull between you two is finite. He likes it that way and so it’ll stay that way.
Bully Jeongin gets paired/assigned with you for projects/comeback prep more often than you think is possible. You can’t fathom how you end up partners on almost every project/task. Even if you are assigned to work with someone else/another member he still weasels his way in. Sometimes you’re sure he threatens/bribes your current partners off to have your full attention -which is true but you don’t need to know that, now do you…Jeongin surprisingly has morals when it comes to anyone else speaking badly about you. He hates it and will put a stop to it as soon as it starts. Why? He’s the only one allowed to treat you the way he does. That’s why. “….don’t say another fucking word about Y/n. She’s mine. Understand?”
Bully Jeongin loves to make you ride his thigh when you’re supposed to be studying/working. He doesn’t care that someone might hear or see you. He cares even less that you’d rather focus without being horny. “I didn’t ask what you preferred to do…” he mumbles against your lips, one hand on your hip to control how fast you pass your bare cunt over his leg, and the other keeping his phone steady as he records the whole time. You beg him not to, blushing in embarrassment as you hear his camera shutter, “Jeongin….d-don’t..” you half whine half moan as he snaps another picture. “I’ll do what I want. You just keep riding me like a good cumslut…” “M’ not…a cumslut…” you scowl in disapproval at the pet name but the expression fades to a dazed one as his hand on your hips travels down to your ass. He grasps it tight, giving the tender flesh a harsh slap in response to your defiance, “It’s cute that you think that. If you weren’t you wouldn’t be making a mess on my thigh right now and moaning like one..” his smile doesn’t match the darkness in his tone and you swallow a whimper at the contrasting factors. The heat in your core begins to unravel with every disgusting insult his gentle voice spills. “Getting off like this is all you deserve dumb bunny.” “Feels so much better than touching yourself, doesn’t it?” “Why don’t you smile at the camera when you cum. Yeah, just like that. Show ‘em’ how bad you want my cock..” He laughs softly as his words bring tears to your eyes, little droplets trickling down your cheeks as you come undone on his thigh, and try your best to smile through the riveting sensation.
‘click’ he snaps another picture of you, making sure to play with your clit to drag out your high as he does, and your smile morphs into the perfect expression of pleasure.
“Look at you being such a pretty whore for me…” Jeongin smirks, rubbing your clit faster to draw more reactions from you, and succeeding much to your dismay.
‘click’
“Picture perfect slut…”
++++++++
This was quick and sweet but like I said…I’m considering making it into a mini series. 🖤 (I literally have like 4 currently going on rn…omg…)
[ BONUS CONTENT + ]
I wanna lick the longest, sloppiest, sluttiest stripe up his abs/tummy. Like the urge is so real rn… 🖤 Credits to creator 🖤
886 notes · View notes
baptismbaby · 8 months
Text
♡ HEARTBEAT
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
toxic! ellie x toxic! reader (modern) warnings: degrading, breathplay, hitting, bruising, strap usage (r!receiving), player!ellie, petnames based on heartbeat by childish gambino wc: 2.9k<3
You and Ellie had the worst breakup in Jackson. You two were dating for years and were constantly arguing, taking breaks and making up again. The cycle frustrated everyone who hung around you two. You would tell your friends you were single “for real this time,” while Ellie kept her distance waiting for you to knock at her door. Usually you would but if you didn’t, Ellie would sneak into your house and you’d walk in your room to find her sitting on your bed. She’d promise she wouldn’t hurt you again, wouldn’t cheat on you again, and you’d fall into her arms with tears and forgive her. Things would be fine for a week until she’d fuck up again. 
At some point, you decided you really wanted to move on. You had gone to her place and told her to never talk to you again. She thought you were fibbing and showed up to your house while you were sleeping, waking you up to say sorry. When you threatened to shoot her in the leg if she wouldn’t leave, she stormed out and broke the picture frame you had of the two of you on the ground. You blocked her on everything and avoided the places you knew she’d go.
That was a year ago. Of course, you’d spot her somewhere but you would quickly leave to make sure she didn’t see you. What you didn’t know was that she would. She even made new social media accounts to keep up with what you posted. Four months ago, you got into a relationship with a girl named Eliana. Ellie thought it was hilarious, you dating a girl with a similar name as her. You’d post about how sweet she was and Ellie would get angry. She had half a mind to send Eliana a video of her fucking you from behind and claiming it was recent just so you’d come by, yell at her but hopefully give in to her convincing you to be with her.
Ellie would hook up with a new girl almost every night but hated it. They just weren’t you. At some point, she’d let a girl named Sofie come by whenever she wanted. She looked similar to you so it was easy for Ellie to pretend it was you. Although there were similarities, she didn’t even compare to you. She was awful. She didn’t get as wet as you would, which Ellie missed. She was also extremely vanilla. It didn’t bother Ellie that much but it bored her. She gave Sofie a key to come by whenever she wanted to get fucked but Ellie always had to reach out first. It wasn’t often but enough for Sofie to assume they were dating. Ask Ellie and she would say otherwise.
About two months in your relationship with Eliana, you had sex with her for the first time and was disappointed. She wasn’t good at it. You were trying to be patient with her, telling her how to touch you and how to use  a strap but she just wasn’t catching on. She started to get more pissy with you and grew distant. You couldn’t stop thinking about Ellie. You missed her terribly. You’d take the arguments with Ellie over Eliana anyday, at least it would end in hot, angry, makeup sex. You refused to let Eliana touch you. She was getting annoying, always bitching in your ear about shit so miniscule that you couldn’t help but to laugh at her every time she tried to belittle you. You wanted to reach out to Ellie but didn’t know how. You unblocked her on everything instead and hoped you’d receive a text from her.
A month later, you were no longer posting about Eliana and Ellie had taken back the key from Sofie. Ellie noticed your lack of posts. Eliana would post stupid heartbreak poems and dumb shit like “if she wanted to, she would.” Ellie decided to try texting you. It was stupid, she believed you definitely still had her blocked. She sent you a simple “hey,” expecting it to go green. It was blue and said delivered which made Ellie immediately chuck her phone away from her. You responded a couple minutes later, “I was waiting for you to message me.”
You started texting Ellie behind Eliana’s back, talking about how Eliana was tedious and mean. Ellie would sympathize with you, telling you all the right things that made your love for her grow. A couple weeks ago, you got into a fight with Eliana. She brought up a touchy subject with you, something you felt comfortable enough to share that only Ellie knew besides her. You made her leave and called Ellie, crying. She came over to comfort you until it led into a makeout session, then she fucked you for hours. She wanted to overstimulate you to make up for lost time, she wanted to break you, she wanted to make sure you’d come crawling back to her. She would also get real gentle and sweet with you, to remind you how much she loved you without having to say it. But something about you feeling unsure about leaving Eliana for her woke something up in her. The idea of coming around when Eliana wasn’t there to get a taste of you boosted her ego. It was sneaky and gave the both of you an adrenaline rush, the idea of being caught turned the both of you on. 
So you two kept seeing each other. When Eliana would leave, you’d call Ellie and ask her to come over. Or you would leave Eliana’s place and go straight to Ellie’s. Tonight was another night of arguing between you and Eliana. You couldn’t wait for her to leave so you could call Ellie and complain about everything she said. You knew Ellie would come over in a heartbeat.
“You’re so fucking full of yourself,” you spat out. Eliana groaned and reached down to grab her bag. “Yeah, that’s right. Run away from me. That's all you know. Run from all your problems and refuse to take responsibility!”
“Fuck you!” she screamed. “How about you go crawl back to that stupid bitch Ellie. I can’t put up with this bullshit anymore. She can deal with you now.”
“You know what? I just might. At least she knows how to fuck me and make me cum!” you hollered.
Eliana left, slamming the door hard. You scoffed and headed into your room, grabbing your phone off the dresser. You dialed Ellie’s number and held it up to your ear. After a ring and a half, she answered.
“Need me to come over?” she asked. You could hear the smile in her voice.
“I’m so fucking done!” you griped. “I’m over it, Ellie! Over it!”
“Wait, with me?”
“No, with Eliana. She just left,” you said. 
“I’m coming,” Ellie hung up before you could respond.
Ellie shoved her phone in her pocket and looked over at Sofie, who stared down at her twiddling thumbs. “I gotta go, my friend needs me. You should probably go so I can get ready.”
Sofie looked up at her with watering eyes. 
“Sorry, she comes first. She’s been through a lot and-”
“It’s her, isn’t it?” Sofie interrupted. 
Ellie stayed silent, scratching her head and scrunching her nose.
Sofie got up from the couch and turned towards Ellie, placing her hands on her hips. “I should’ve known. You’ll never be over her.”
“Okay, Sofie. I don’t see why you’re bothered about it.”
“Cause we’re dating?”
Ellie chuckled which made Sofie angry. “We are not dating. I fucked you a couple times and that’s it.”
“But you gave me a key to your place?”
“Yeah, to come by whenever you wanted to fuck. I took it back because I don’t want to fuck you anymore. You never used it, anyway,” said Ellie. She was getting frustrated. She wanted to get ready and get to you as soon as possible. “I only let you come by because you said you wanted to talk.”
“Yeah, about us!” Sofie snapped.
“There is no us. There never was. I was clear from the beginning that this was short-term. You were someone to have fun with for a bit. It was alright but it’s done.”
Sofie stormed out, yelling something about how Ellie was a horrible person who used her. Ellie shrugged it off and sent you a quick text. “Getting dressed. I’ll be there soon, sweetheart.”
-
Ellie arrived at your place fifteen minutes later. Instead of knocking, she walked through the door and right into your room. You were already half naked in your bed, wearing a see through tank top and a thong. Ellie smirked, kicking her shoes off and removing her jeans and hoodie. Ellie already had her strap on over her boxers. Your cunt ached, desperate for Ellie’s touch.
“Needy little girl,” she teased, crawling over your trembling body. “I haven’t laid a hand on you yet and you’re already shaking.”
“You don’t know how badly I need this, Ellie.”
“What, your little bitch can’t fuck you good?” she asked in a condescending tone.
“No, Ellie. No one can,” you breathed.
Ellie brushed her fingers down your body, eliciting a moan from your lips. “My little angel, I love that you miss me when I’m gone.”
Her hands reached your panties. You thought she was gonna push them aside but instead she gripped them and tore it off, throwing the ripped fabric off to the side. You groaned, feeling your pussy throb even more. You loved when Ellie was like this. You’ve had to throw away so many panties and tights because of her. You didn’t mind though, she always got you more.
Ellie pressed the tip to your entrance. “Beg for it,” she demanded.
“Please put it in, Ellie!”
“More.”
“I want you inside me! Please,” you whined, bucking your hips forward to try to sink yourself onto her strap. She shoved your waist down and slapped you across the face, watching in awe as you yelped and held your cheek to dull the pain. 
“Don’t fucking pull that again, little whore. I decide if you deserve my cock or not. Are you too stupid to get that? Huh?”
“Y-Yes, Ellie. I’m sorry. I won’t do it again.”
“Good girl. C’mon, keep begging me to fuck you,” she growled.
“I need your cock inside me, please! I want you to fucking ruin me.”
“Yeah, you wanna be my braindead little slut don’t you?” she taunted. “You don’t wanna think about anything but my cock stretching your tight cunt.”
You sighed, struggling to keep still as her hands went all over you. She shoved your shirt above your tits and grabbed them. 
“Fuck me Ellie, please! I can’t take it, I need to feel you. Please,” you cried.
Ellie smirked and put her cock back to your hole, slamming it inside of you. You screamed out, gripping the sheets underneath you. Ellie wrapped her hand around your throat and squeezed tightly as she thrusted into you hard and fast. It was hard to keep your eyes open to watch Ellie. All you could manage to do was squeal in pleasure. You started to get dizzy from the lack of oxygen in your brain. Ellie noticed and took her hand away, caressing your cheek then slapping it.
“You like that, huh? Yeah?”
You couldn’t speak, unable to focus on anything besides the feeling of Ellie’s cock fucking you deeper. 
“Aww, poor pup can’t talk,” she mocked.
She placed her thumb in your mouth and you opened it to suck it. Ellie moaned as you gently bit her. She pulled away and leaned towards you, her breath fanning over your face as she felt herself getting closer from the friction. “You’re mine, all mine,” she whispered. “You belong to me. You’re my pet, my fucktoy to play with. No one fucks you as good as me. Say it!”
“I’m yours,” you whimpered. You could feel your pussy tighten around Ellie’s strap. “I-I belong to you. I’m your… I’m your pet, your f-fucktoy to play with. You can u-use me anytime, anyw-where you want. Oh, fuck, I’m about to cum. P-Please can I cum, Ellie?”
Ellie nodded, giving you the permission to let your orgasm take over you. As your body shook, you absentmindedly cried out that you loved her. Ellie felt a warmth go over her entire body in adoration. 
“That’s it, baby,” she cooed, fucking you through your orgasm. She was close too, all it took was you calling out her name once again and she finished. Ellie collapsed next to you, the both of you breathing heavily and giggling.
“God, I love fucking you,” spoke Ellie.
“I love when you fuck me.”
Ellie glanced over at you, admiring your glazed eyes and red puffy lips. She noticed your cheek was starting to form a bruise. “Shit, I didn’t mean to hit so hard.”
“It’s okay,” you replied. “I don’t mind.”
“It’s gonna be a nasty bruise.”
“It’s from you. It’s okay.”
Ellie relaxed at your assurance and let out a sigh. “Seriously, I wanna know what you ever saw in Eliana. She sounds like such a bitch. I mean, bringing up… y’know? I’d never do that to you. I know I’m not the best but I couldn’t say that to you. I think I’d die if I did that.”
“I saw nothing in her,” you said honestly. “I mean, she was cool at first, I guess. She really was kind. Boring but that’s just because we had nothing in common. I wanted to move on from you. She was a rebound, that’s it.”
“Then why deal with her when you could’ve been with me this entire time?” asked Ellie.
You grinned. “It’s fun, isn’t it? Sneaking around, texting each other behind her back. I hate cheaters but… really, she deserved it. She is not a good person.”
Ellie’s heart stung at the mention of cheaters, suddenly remembering the drunken nights when she’d make out with a random girl at a party or let one grind on her thigh while dancing to make you jealous. She reached over and grabbed your hand, intertwining her fingers with yours.
“I know I always apologize then do the same shit over again. But I swear to you, baby, I’ll never do it again. None of it. Without you, my life was a living hell. I would hook up with different girls but it meant nothing to me. They weren’t you. I only want to be with you. When I lost you… I knew I had really fucked up. I feel like I’ve been given a second chance. Or, well, you’ve given me lots of those but a real one.”
Something told you that Ellie was being genuine. Before, you knew she was lying just to get you to stay but didn’t mind it. You couldn’t live without her. You tried and you were an empty shell. You shouldn’t have gotten into another relationship. You should’ve gone back to Ellie months ago. 
“I believe you, Ellie,” you finally vocalized. “I need you, really.”
A comfortable silence fell over the two of you as Ellie played with your fingers. “You know what’s funny?” you said.
“What?”
“Before I called you, Eliana told me she didn’t want to deal with me anymore and to crawl back to you.”
Ellie opened her mouth to say something but your phone rang. You picked it up to see Eliana’s name across the screen. You groaned, flipping it over to show Ellie. She laughed and grabbed it. “Let me answer!”
“No!” you tried to snatch it away but Ellie held it above you.
“Come on, it’ll be funny,” Ellie begged. “I’ll put it on speaker so you can hear.”
Before you could decline, Ellie answered. You tried to slap her arm but she grabbed your wrist and gave you a look before smiling. “What do you want?” she questioned. 
“Wait, who is this?” Eliana asked.
“It’s me, Ellie.”
“What?”
“Eliana, listen: she took your advice and came ‘crawling’ back to me. You don’t gotta worry about her anymore. She’s in good hands.”
“What the fuck?”
Ellie muted the phone so the two of you could cackle. Whatever Eliana said, neither of you could hear it. Ellie shushed you and unmuted it. “You fucking bitch!” Eliana screamed before Ellie could talk.
“What the fuck did you just call me?”
“Can’t believe you fucking cheated on me with Ellie,” she continued, rambling to herself at this point. 
“She was mine first. She always belonged to me. If you know what’s best for you, you won’t be trying to reach her again. You don’t even wanna know what I’ll do to you if you try it,” Ellie threatened. “I suggest you lose her number. Don’t get stupid and try coming over here.”
Ellie hung up the phone and went to your contacts to delete and block Eliana’s number. She set it on the dresser next to her and turned back to you. “There,” she said proudly. “You don’t have to worry about her no more. You’re my girl.”
“She… definitely deserved that,” you chuckled.
“I kinda wanna fuck you again,” said Ellie, changing the subject.
You bit your lip and swung your leg over Ellie so you were straddling her. You leaned down and kissed her softly. “You know I can’t say no to that.”
1K notes · View notes
city-m0rgue · 4 months
Text
i absolutely hate how Cherri Bomb was written in the new episode
i was really excited to see her in the episode but the way she peer pressured angel just made me really dislike her character
Tumblr media Tumblr media
she says that angel has been “texting her his depressing shit all day,” so she knows what he’s going through, and when he says he’s too tired for a night out she doesn’t listen
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
when husk steps in when cherri offers angel drugs, cherri responds by calling him a “Buzzkill” and making fun of him being an alcoholic. husk was simply looking out for angel and if cherri truly cared about angels well-being she would understand that.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
even after cherri puts husk down, angel still shows that he is uncertain about getting high with her. he once again tells her he’s exhausted from work to which she responds without empathy and just trying to keep getting him to get high until he finally agrees.
Tumblr media
when angel is looking after niffty, cherri says “you’re supposed to be relaxing, not playing nanny!” and angel says “i just don’t want her to end up in the gutter like i used to!” and cherri belittles what he says by saying “whatever nerd.”
i was so excited to see cherri in this episode but she turned out to be a terrible friend to angel
edit: i just wanna say i think the way angel looked after niffty was adorable and i loved angel and husk being nifftys dads
edit: so my opinion on this had kind of changed. i do still think there should’ve been scenes where we saw her empathy more but now having seen later episodes i can say i am more fond of her character. she definitely needs some development (but so does everyone else), and i can’t say she’s my favourite, but my opinion has partially changed.
i think i was more so disappointed in the lack of emotion she showed. she’s addicted just like angel and is not as far in recovery as he is. and YES i have seen the addict music video and that is the main reason i am disappointed, because we see a lot more insight to her character in there.
i hope we get more emotional and/or empathetic scenes with cherri in the future and i really hope than if/when she joins the hotel her development will be healthy for both her and angel
700 notes · View notes
jellyloveru · 2 years
Text
FUCK
#балаболим#affectionately belittled my friend's name in my head again >:(#every time...#like. as far as i know they just started using this one more regularly but to me it's kinda new.#and i try it out in my mind a couple of times aND I BELITTLE IT ON A THIRD TRY#IT HAPPENED WITH THEIR OLD NAME IT HAPPENED AGAIN. BAH!#(belittled as in bill -> billy alex -> lexy)#i'm not mad at anyone just frustrated i guess. i don't mind myself doing it but what if other people find it weird? i don't do it for ill#like. person goes by nick for example. and after some time i have to fight an urge to not call them nicky. it's easy with text but...#look i might like them a lot but if they don't like to go by nicky it's alright i respect that. and i think if they tell me that i'll stop.#thinking of them as nicky i guess.#ugh i just confused myself. and lost the thought. >¦{#ok uh. when. when i know person for a while i start doing it with their name. and it botheres me.#because while i don't use said version of their name aloud i still find it weird that i do that. like. every time#yeah yeah feelings and stuff. i care about them a lot and yada yada. doesn't change the fact that said person might not want to be thought#of in such matter. you're a grown person and you recently met a person. you're robert. they think of you as robbie/bobby#mmmmmm(((. like. i know my friends will not find this to be bad or insulting. i know you won't too. it still kinda bothers me. yeah.#here. caught that thought again :)#(oh yeah should clarify. i do that with people around my age/slightly older/younger. not like. old people.)
0 notes
opalici0us · 3 months
Text
Coming Down | | Suguru Geto
Tumblr media
pairings- Geto x fem!reader
synopsis- Geto just wants to make it up to you
content- 18+ MNDI, smut, fwb trope, toxic(Geto comes off as manipulative), Geto has comitment issues, he’s just a red flag, neck kissing/sucking, fingering, oral(f!receiving), praise, p in v sex, missionary, spit(Geto spits in readers mouth), breeding, pet names(baby, princess), Gojo makes a cameo!!
inspo: Coming Down by The Weeknd
wc- 3.2k
Tumblr media
It was two in the morning. Geto was all alone; you weren’t picking up any of his calls. 
“Pick up the phone, dammit Y/N.”
Geto barely remembered tonight or that's what he was telling himself. 
Everything started fine, you two were lounging around on his couch, waiting for your friends to come over. His mind was blank until you asked the three-word question he’d hoped wouldn’t ever come up. “Suguru, what are we?” Your words hung heavy in the air as Geto felt his throat close up.
“Aren’t we just friends..?”
He knew by the look on your face how big of an impact his words had on you. As if a switch went off in your brain, you yelled at him. A full serge of emotions, Geto could only silently watch you obliterate every part of him with his jaw wide open. You gathered all your things, adding one final “fuck you!” before slamming his door shut.
About an hour after you left your friends came over. Gojo tried to ask what happened only to get met with a shrug from Geto. Around 10:30 pm, Geto was high out of his mind ranting to just as faded Gojo about what happened while the rest of the group was distracted.
“Like I just don’t understand, is she unhappy with how it is now? I just...I give her so much of me and I don’t know man.” Geto rambled mindlessly while Gojo pretended to understand but was too gone to process anything. “Maybe just uh...uh talk to her somethin’.” Gojo shrugged, still trying to piece everything.
“Satoru…you’re a fuckin’ genius. I’m gonna talk to her, tell her how I feel!” Geto slapped Gojo on the back, before pulling his phone out to text you. This was a horrible idea. He was too angry even to be civil with you. 
When you saw the texts coming in one after another, you actually felt bad for a second for asking him “such a stressful question.” until you gained some consciousness, seeing how he completely dismissed your feelings and was pulling the victim card. You clapped back, each text sent back and forth getting more and more vicious. His messages stung, claiming “I don’t need you at all.” or “I’ll just find someone else to fuck.” 
This lasted for around 15 minutes until Gojo finally processed what happened between you two. He yanked the phone out of Getos' hands, knowing he’d regret everything but the damage was already done.
Tumblr media
Everyone had left a while ago. Geto was now all alone with his thoughts as the high wore off.
Voice mail after voice mail, he was getting damn tired of hearing it. He knew this was all his fault, that he should have just talked to you the first time around. It’s not like he didn’t like you, he thought about you more than he’d ever like to admit. Geto absolutely adored you. 
He told himself this would be his last attempt at reaching you. He tapped your contact, prepping himself for the worst. He was so lost in thought he didn’t even hear you pick up until your voice popped out at him. “What?” Your voice was snappy, but he knew he deserved this for being such a dick. 
Geto wasn’t expecting you to pick up, not after you ignored all 16  previous calls. “Hey…we should talk.” 
“Yeah? ‘S that right?” Geto could hear the bitterness in your tone. “What is there to talk about? So you can belittle me again? Tell me how much you don’t need me? How much stress and anxiety I caused you?” Your words were nothing but the brutal truth. He could only cringe, remembering how much a jack-ass he was to you.
“Please, just listen to me I–”
“No! You’re such a– I just can’t right now. I don’t have anything else left to say to you,” Your voice quivered through the phone, he could hear every sharp breath you took. “Is it so bad that maybe I wanna be more than whatever this is with you? I don’t get you! You’re sweet to me and then the next you’re a dick and–” 
“I’m scared, okay?! Now, listen to me…please,” He took your silence on the other line as a signal to go forth. “I know, I’m a mess. I shouldn’t have said the things I said. I wasn’t sober and I know that isn’t an excuse. I really wanna see you. I don’t want to have this conversation over the phone, so please come over. I need you, despite what I said, I really really fucking need you, this isn’t a booty call. Please…Y/N.” The desperation in his voice was evident. 
Your side of the line went silent for what felt like an eternity. “Fine…I’ll be over in 10.” 
“See you soon.”
Tumblr media
Geto sat on his couch, anxiously waiting for your arrival. He was dizzy from still coming down from the high but also from the intense pressure he felt in his stomach from the thought of seeing you. What was he even going to say to you? He knew an “I’m sorry.” wouldn’t cut it. Pulling himself out of his mind he heard three knocks on his door. With shaky steps, he opened the door to see your face. He felt a pang of guilt in his heart, it was obvious to anyone that you had been crying due to the red veins prominent in your eyes.
“Wow…you look uh…rough,” Ouch…Your words were like a slap to the face. “You sure you only smoked?” You shook your head, his hair was slightly messy, and his eyes were blood, paired with eyebags and chapped lips.
“Well, aren’t you sweet?” Geto retorted. Did he really look that bad?
“Hey! I have every right, especially after you were such a dick to me,” You gave him a look of disgust, shoving lightly on his shoulder. Geto couldn’t argue with that. “So…are gonna invite me in or punish me some more by making me stand out here..?” 
Geto held himself back from rolling his eyes, repeating to himself over and over again that he deserved this treatment. He held the door wide open, motioning with his hand for you to enter.
You both sat down awkwardly sat down on the couch beside one another. Both of your bodies were painfully stiff as the silence ate the room up.
“So–” You both said at the same time, an awkward laugh resonating in your ears.
“Go ahead.”
Geto took a deep breath, trying to calm himself and find the right words. He was still a bit dazed. “For starters, I’m sorry. I said some pretty shitty things, things I don’t mean. I wasn’t in the right state of mind. I was faded and I was upset about how you left and…I guess I forgot what you mean to me.”
You sat there, staring into his brown eyes. Your mind was going over his words. You wanted to believe him…so badly. There was still one part that wanted to slap him across the face and tell him to never call you again and another part of you that just wanted to pepper him in kisses, tell him you forgive him. As you were about to speak, Geto spoke again.
“I know it’s not an excuse. I’m a dick to you, I know that. I’m scared and I can’t give you what you want but the idea of losing you drives me insane and I’m willing to try. I’m crazy about you, Y/N. I like you. I know I said I didn’t need you and that I can just find someone else to fuck but... I can’t, I only think about you. I only want you.” 
You felt your mouth go dry at his sudden confession. You could hear the sincerity in his voice, the way his voice quivered when he spoke, how his eyes softened. You watched his hand reach over to hold your hand. His hands were cold and clammy, you could tell how anxious he was at this moment. You had to say something…anything.
“Suguru…” You paused and brought his hand up to your lips, pressing a gentle kiss on his knuckles. “I know you’re sorry but you said some fucked up things. I wanna forgive you but I also…don’t want to at the same time.” You saw the way his face dropped at your words, his grip on your hand tightened. You hesitantly pulled him down to rest his head in the crook of your neck.
Chills went up and down your spine feeling his hot breath against your neck. You could smell the remnants of weed on him mixed in with his cologne. He felt so warm against you. You were so torn.
“How…how can I make it up to you?” Geto asked softly, as his arms snaked themselves around your waist, pulling you closer to him.
You shivered at the contact. Your heartbeat picked up rapidly as you melted into his arms, running your fingers through his long raven hair. Your body always reacted this way to his touch. Geto was truly your weakness. Your breath hitched feeling his lips slowly start to lightly kiss the side of your neck. 
“Suguru.” You gasped his name soothingly. He didn’t say anything, as he started to get more aggressive with his kisses. You could feel his tongue trace up your neck just under your jawline as he sucked on the skin, adding his mark. 
“I wanna make you feel good, worship every part of your body.” He mumbled against your skin as his lips made their way up your own. His words sent a wave of arousal between your legs.
You hummed feeling his lips press against your own. His fingers dug into your waist, pulling you closer once again. Geto swiped his tongue along your bottom lip teasingly before venturing into your mouth. His tongue danced with yours, tasting you. One hand moved off your last to trail up for thigh, massaging it gently. You parted your legs for him, silently giving him consent. 
Geto moved his hand further and further up your inner thigh. He could feel the heat from your core without even touching it. His fingers taunting grazed your clothed cunt that was aching for his touch. “Can I?” He asked against your lips. You nodded your head, moving your hips forward trying to get more friction from his fingers. Geto slipped his hand into your pajama shorts and panties, his fingers immediately finding your clit rubbing little circles on it. 
He broke away from the kiss so he could watch your face contort into pleasure. “You’re so wet for me.” He moved his fingers away from your clit down to your entrance. Pushing two fingers in slowly, watching how your eyebrows furrowed together. 
“Shiiit, oh–Suguru.” You moaned out softly. You wrapped your hand around his wrist, grinding against his hand to stimulate your clit as the pad of his fingers found and massaged your sensitive spot. Your eyes rolled into the back of your head as your jaw went slack. Geto leaned down to your neck to kiss and suck on the sensitive skin once again.
He groaned feeling your sticky walls slowly start to pulse around his fingers, he could tell you were so close to cumming. “You close? I can feel her squeezin’ my fingers so tight.” He got rougher with his movements. 
“Oh my godd, fuck fuck, m’gonna cum Sugu.” You cried out, throwing your head back as you your thighs clamped together as he brought you to your orgasm. Your cum dripping into his palm.
“Fuckkk, you did so good, so good, princess. Such a good girl.” He pulled his hand out of your shorts, bringing his fingers to his mouth to suck them clean, making sure to maintain eye contact. His member throbbed just from tasting your sweet cum. “Mmm, you’re so sweet. I need more, wanna feel you cum on my tongue. Please.” 
“B-but what about you?” You gasped feeling him scoop you up into his arms, carrying you away to his bedroom.
“Baby, I told you I wanted to worship you, make you feel good. So let me, yeah?” He gently placed you down on the edge of the bed. His fingers tugged on your bottoms, taking them off along with your panties.
 He got down onto his knees, placing both of your legs on his shoulders. He teasingly kissed each side of your inner thighs, inching his face closer to your dripping cunt. He licked your folds, making you hiss and arch your back off the bed. He finally stuck his tongue into you, feeling the wetness coat his tongue. He swiped the tip of his tongue on your swollen bud a few times before sucking it into his mouth. “Hmmmm.” He groaned, shaking his head back and forth adding to the stimulation.
You propped yourself up onto your elbows to look down at him. His eyes were closed as he sucked harder on your clit. “Oh fuck! Don’t stop.” You squirmed as his tongue worked you, he moved his hand on your thigh to place his on your pelvis. Moving his tongue away he used his thumb to rub your clit so he could fuck you with his tongue. “Sugu! Ahhh oh my–fuckk.” Your arms gave out on you, feeling his tongue venture inside you. 
With all this pleasure your orgasm crashed over you, and your fingers dug into the sheets. “I’m cumming, cummin’!” Your hips bucked up, and Geto pressed you firmly down on you to keep you still. He opened his eyes to watch your shake above his. His eyes widened feeling your walls clamp down around his tongue, your sweet cum flooding into his mouth. He pulled away and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.
“You’re so sweet, I could eat you out for hours,” He crawled up to you, pushing his groin against your pelvis. You could feel how hard he was. “But I really need to fuck you.” He whispered in your ear, as his hand went under your shirt. Massaging your breast through your bra. “Tell me you want me to.”
“Sugu, need you bad. Wan’ you to fuck me.” You tugged on the hem of his shirt, wanting it off of him. He moved up a bit allowing you to strip him free from his shirt, he did the the same to you. He put his arm behind your back to free your breasts.
“Fuuuck, these are so pretty too.” Getos mouth fell open admiring your hard nipples. “Gotta give these pretty girls some attention too.” He took both of your boobs into his hands massaging them, his mouth moving to the right one to suck on the nipple, swirling his tongue around it. While his finger paid attention to the other, pinching your nipple between his pointer and thumb finger, rolling it between his fingers.
“Sugu, please, just fuck me.” You whined and tangled your fingers into his hair, tugging on it lightly. “I need to feel you inside me, baby.” 
Geto felt his pre-cum leak from his tip at your words, he pulled off your tit with a wet pop. “I love it when you talk dirty to me. Makes me so fucking hard.” Geto growled and stood up, swiftly taking his jeans off along with his boxers. His tip was an angry red from being neglected this whole time. “M’gonna fuck you sooo good, baby.”
He positioned himself on the bed between your legs, parting them wide enough for him to fit. He teasingly rubbed his tip against your overstimulated clit. “J-just put in Suguru.” You wiggled your hips enticingly. 
“So desperate for me, god, you're so cute.” Geto smiled and shook his head. He finally brought his fat tip down to your entrance, slowly pressing himself inside you with little to no resistance due to you cumming two times already. But you were still just as tight. “Oh shiiit, mmmhm,” He pushed in inch by inch, finally filling you to the hilt. “M’gonna move now, okay?” He threw your legs onto his shoulders, sinking in even deeper as he pressed your knees to your chest.
“Mmmph, yes please move.” You nibbled onto your bottom lip, watching his cock start to thrust in and out of your, the way your skin rippled when he’d give a harder stroke. You felt butterflies in your stomach watching him. 
“Look at me, wanna see that pretty face when I fuck your brains out.” Geto puts his hand on your chin, forcing you to look up at him. “Yeahh, just like that. You’re so f-full of me.” He groaned and gave you much deeper strokes, his jaw falling open into an ‘o’ as he felt your cunt squeeze around him even tighters.
“Mmmm, yeahhh, fuck you’re gonna make me cum.” He could feel your juices drip down him as thrusted in and out. His cock-head hitting your soft spot over and over again, making your toes curl. You moved your arms to wrap around his neck. Your mouth feel open, Geto took the opportunity to lean down closer to you, spitting into your mouth. His cock twitched inside you, watching as you greedily swallowed it up.
“M-more.” You begged him and held your mouth open with your tongue out.
“You’re so nasty, I love it.” He leaned down, letting his saliva trickle down to your tongue, swallowing it up again. Watching you be like this pushed him even closer to the edge. He knew he wasn’t going to last much longer. “Oh fuck, m’gonna cum. Gonna fill you up? You want that? T-to be full of me? Full of my cum?”
“Yesyesyes, please. I’m gonna cum too, cum with me.” You whimpered out, feeling a knot form in your stomach as your thighs began to shake. Geto messily thrusted into you, groaning loudly as he felt your walls flutter around him, forcing him to his own orgasm as white ropes of his cum filled you to the brim. 
“Fuck, baby. You’re milking me dry.” He gave you a few more deep thrusts, pressing his forehead against yours. “You did such a good job, you’re so beautiful.” He gently kissed you while relishing in your tightness for a few more seconds. He reluctantly pulled out and laid beside you in the bed.
You lay there beside him, looking sweetly at him, while he pushed a sweaty strand of hair away from your face. Despite him saying it wasn’t a “booty call.” it ended like one. Pulling yourself back to reality and reminding yourself why you came here in the first place. You reluctantly sat up. “I’m gonna head home.” You cleared your throat and were about to stand up when Geto held tightly onto your arm.
“Please stay, spend the night.” Geto has never let you spend the night before, he usually leaves or tells you you should head home. 
“Y-you sure?” You look back at him, trying to search for any uncertainty on his face but there wasn’t any. If anything he looked desperate.
“Please, I’m trying this with you, so please give me a chance to prove that I’m serious about this, serious about you.” You couldn’t help but smile at his words. 
“Alright, I’ll stay.”
You two lay in each other's embrace. Geto wasn’t sure how this would go but he was willing to try this for you. 
Tumblr media
© opalici0us | All writings belong to me, do not copy, translate, or modify my works
427 notes · View notes
netherfeildren · 9 months
Text
I urge you: Bite me
Tumblr media
Pairing: Joel Miller x F!Reader
Summary: Sometimes love hurts like a split nail, and sometimes we like it like that.
Sometimes Joel hurts like a split nail, you like him like that too. 
Rating: Explicit 18+
Content Warnings: Raider era Joel; Angst; Obsessive behavior; Possessive behavior; Toxic relationships; Controlling behavior; Mean Joel; Kind of soft Joel too; Frankly, some pretty pathetic behavior; Surprisingly soft sex; Breeding kink; Creampie; Oral sex (f!receiving); Dirty talk; Fingering; Come eating; Size difference; Older man/younger woman; Buckle up we’re going old man trapping!; Joel Miller comes with his own TW
A/N: Idk what to say, she's just in a silly goofy mood, I guess!
Title is from Stigmata: Escaping Texts by Hélène Cixous
Word Count: 9.8K
Read on AO3
You’ve been watching him for close to half an hour now. The longest you’ve probably ever gone without him catching you, barking at you to get lost. 
Sometimes… he’s mean.
Cold and brutish and maybe even a little cruel. Not an ounce of patience for the pesky little crush he knows you’ve been nursing for him from the first moment you’d met him. He’s never thrown it in your face, a sort of kindness, you suppose, but it’s always just there, on the periphery, the tip of his tongue, the corner of the room. Hanging over your heads like a black cloud. The reality of the fact that you’re pretty sure you’d do anything he asked of you, in any form, no matter what it was. You’d give him anything if he wanted it from you. This pervasive need to please and impress him. To be strong enough, smart enough, savvy enough to keep up with him and Tess, and yet, you’re always shut out, left behind, scolded or scorned or belittled, and still, and still you want him.
But then other times–other times he could be sweet. Or whatever weak sort of pretense of sweetness a man like him could muster up; like the fruit he brings you on occasion, sweetness. The first time he’d done it you’d cried yourself to sleep afterwards. Heart set to burst, stomach in your throat. Getting down on your knees in gratitude to a man who is just on this side of not completely hating you for a simple piece of fruit doesn’t seem like the best way to get him to respect you, to not look at you as a burden. You’d held off from doing that… just barely. 
Joel Joel Joel Joel Joel Joel Joel Joel Joel Joel Joel Joel Joel Joel Joel Joel Joel Joel Joel Joel Joel Joel Joel Joel Joel Joel Joel Joel Joel Joel Joel Joel Joel Joel Joel Joel
You don’t think you’re obsessed with him. Or– you don’t like to call it that. But you do look up to him and you do want him and you would do anything he ever asked of you no matter what it did to you. You’d met him and Tess shortly after you’d arrived in Boston, joined their crew or whatever it was that they called themselves when they went out and did things they weren’t supposed to be doing. You know they have something between them, don’t know the specifics, the technicalities, and you don’t like to think of it. Mostly you push it from your mind and look the other way when they get too close, intimate voices and lingering touches that make your belly sour and curdle, your eyes pinch hot so that you have to call it a day and head home after that. 
They live together. Or at least you think they do. They keep you at arms length enough to know that there are two apartments they keep, one that you’re pretty is for contraband and one for fucking and sleeping and eating, but you’re not entirely sure. Another thing you like to close your eyes to. 
They never let you do much, don’t trust you, don’t think you competent or strong enough which is fair and fine you suppose. But you’re smart, good with numbers, sound logical head on your shoulders and they know this. Hard pressed as they are to admit it, sometimes you have good ideas, and sometimes they come to you for your opinion on logistics, distances, measurements. These are the times Joel is cruelest. He gets mean when he’s nervous, like a bad dog. And your involvement in their business makes him nervous as hell. Mostly you fetch things for them, and Tess likes to call you puppy sometimes which you know is just another way of saying you’re his little bitch. Something that, deep inside of you where it’s quiet and secret and maybe a little delusional, you think he’d not stand for if she actually said those words out loud. There is, you think, a line to his cruelty and a space he keeps you in, and that line is not to be crossed and that space not to be trespassed, and if it weren't for the way he looks at you sometimes, the fruit or the sweater he’d brought you once, it’s soft, goes with you, he’d told you, you’d not have noticed that line or that space. But it’s there, you know it’s there. 
Lately though, things have been… you don’t know, tenser, perhaps. Angrier, on the edge of something, verging on a scream or a fight. Between the two of them, but also towards you. You’d worried they were getting sick of you or that they’d finally realized the little they had you do was not nearly enough to warrant including you in their takings – even though you knew they always cut you short and took the bigger piece for themselves. A few days ago, you’d been exhausted, taking shifts at the old mall for cleanup behind their backs, Joel doesn’t like it when you take FEDRA work, but the dude you rented your little room from had told you last week he’d be upping your rent to twenty rations a week, a truly obscene amount. And you didn’t want to tell Tess and Joel, you didn’t, couldn’t ask them for help, and you also didn’t want to get kicked out of your room. So you’d taken a few shifts on the down low, just as a source of cushion. They’ve been planning a big haul for several days now, and she’d come to you to double check their measurements and distance calculations. Easy work you should’ve been through with quickly, but you’d been so tired. Overworked and underfed because sometimes you’re stupid and soft and share too much with the old lady that lives in the room next door to yours, and your head had been throbbing something fierce, vision glowing bright white. You just needed sleep, and Tess had been so sick of you, angry and snappish, and you’d even thought, just for a second, that she was going to strike you when you couldn’t make sense of their notes and the plan she was disclosing to you. Which had admittedly surprised you for as shit as they usually treated you, they’d never once, either of them, laid a hand on you. And it had surprised you doubly from Tess who, despite the puppy shit, could sometimes be sort of kind to you. You know it’s pity, but you also know she’s a good person. Despite the stealing and the drug dealing, and yeah probably, or most definitely, even the murdering – she’s a good person. Or whatever semblance of a good person a world like this allows for now. So yeah, something was off. A petty and bitter and terrible part of you hopes it’s something between them. That they’re breaking up, that he’s leaving her, that he’s finally realized he wants you as much as you want him. Wishful thinking of a silly little girl. 
He calls you soft. Sometimes, he probably even calls you dumb. How could he not when you follow him around the way you do? Half the moon shining in your eyes for him. You could say you don’t care, and most of the time you don’t, but like you’d said, things were different recently. Tense and angry and there was a frenetic sort of energy that buzzed around Joel whenever you came around now, an extra ounce of pity punctuated by something sharp and mean in Tess’s gaze that’s added to you having pulled back a little from them as of late, as well. 
And then there had been, well… you don’t want to think of it. You turn your face away from where you’ve been watching him the past half hour, sitting on a dirty bench a ways away from where he’s been having a conversation with another man since you’ve been sat here. They look like they're arguing, or better said, the man looks like he’s trying to argue at Joel who’s scowling down at him with a look of utter disdain and disgust, thick bulging arms crossed across his chest. You cross your own legs at the knee, pressing your thighs together. You don’t want to look at him anymore. You don’t want to see him anymore. You don’t want to love him anymore because you’d never really loved anyone else before your whole life, but you’re pretty sure you love Joel. As mean or as angry or as cold as he can be, you’re pretty sure you love him. Again, like you’d said, silly girl. 
And there had been that thing last week, the bursting of the old rotten fruit the three of you pose as, which you don’t like to think of, but which, if you’re being honest, has lived like the plague, like a parasite inside of your mind the past week since it’d happened. You were supposed to meet them at noon last Thursday at the apartment, but it’d seemed like it was about to start pouring so you’d headed over a little early, had put on the soft blue sweater he’d brought you days back and hadn’t wanted it to get wet. Foolish. And you’d knocked, you had, you always did for this exact reason, but when there’d been no answer you’d stupidly pushed the door open anyways, they’d told you to meet them there at noon it was only ten minutes to noon, you weren’t even that early, only to be met with the sight of Tess’s retreating form into the restroom, shutting the door behind her, and him, a curdle of bile in your throat, his naked torso, thick and strongly built, hard muscle and hair and scars, jeans open and his thick, long cock, lying heavily on his belly, still shiny with damp slick, the white of his spurted semen glistening on the skin of his abdomen and chest. There was a sheen to his collarbones and his forehead and his dark curls were a mess, like fingers had been recently run through them. 
When you were ten you watched your parents get killed in a raid right in front of you. The sight of him like this by the hands of another woman was not as bad, but very close. You’d paused for a too long second, hand on the doorknob that felt cold as dry ice, burning your skin, and the two of you had just stared at each other. His gaze had been so vacant, so hard. Like he’d wanted you to see, like he was glad. You couldn’t help the tears that had filled your eyes because you knew that he knew. Knows how you feel. A muscle under his right eye had spasmed at the sight of your emotion, the frown in his brow deepening and as he’d made to stand up to tuck away the source of your horror you’d spun on your heel and ran. Down the stairs and straight across the entirety of the QZ to the opposite end, as far away as you could get from them and that apartment and the sight of his wet and used cock. You’d gone to the far wall of the QZ that spot where you knew there was a little part in the slats you liked to look out of sometimes when you were feeling restless and trapped, and you’d thrown up in the dry and overgrown grass. 
It’d been a week and a day since then, and you want to hate him so badly. You want to hate him so badly. But you’re pretty sure the incident had only made you want him more. 
And you want to hurt him too.
Which is surprising because you lack a severe sense of violence or hardness a life like this now warrants, but also not because it’s just been too much. Too much of being belittled, too few scraps of kindness, affection, softness, compassion, anything. And maybe you were soft or dumb or too young, too naive, too weak or any of the other things they liked to call you, puppy, but you also have a limit, even though you’d not previously known that it existed, and you’re pretty sure now that you’re coming to that limit pretty soon. 
Honest or pathetic or whatever it is that it sounds like, the truth is that you just want someone to be nice to you. To pet your hair or hold you or tell you that you’re good and that it’ll all be okay. You want that very badly, and he will not give that to you, this you know with absolute certainty. 
There is also the issue of your friend Adam. Adam who lives on the opposite side of your old neighbor, and who is kind and sweet and patient and who helped you get the clean up job at the mall. He likes you, you know it. Maybe he even wants you. But he’s just so– he’s not– no, you won’t think on that either right now. 
Over half an hour now, and he’s not snapped at you to quit staring at him. Come over here and handed your ass to you for following him around or eavesdropping on his conversation. He hasn’t looked over at you a single time. Maybe he hasn’t noticed you, maybe a week and a day is long enough for him to have forgotten about you entirely, and your heart pinches and burns at the thought. You close your eyes to the warm sun. The weather is so unusually nice today. The sun, soft and soothing, and if you tip your head back and let the light of it shine through the thin membrane of your eyelids, you can feel that heat seep into your eyes, feel it on your bare arms propped up on the back of the bench. You’re tired today, again. That sort of bone tired that makes you dizzy and sick in your belly. Not enough food, not enough sleep, not enough anything. There’s a meagerness that lives about you all the time now, but there’s warmth right here in this spot on the bench, and Joel nearby, and even if he hasn’t noticed you, even though he’s never really noticed you, the sun is still there, and it’s still nice to watch him from afar. And yes, you’re pathetic, but you don’t really care about that so much, to be honest.
You want to hate him so badly. 
“Where ya been?” He knocks the edge of his boot into the prominence of bone on the outside of your ankle and you hiss, jerking your leg back and away from him, not having heard him come up. He never says your name. Never. You’ve heard him utter the word four times in the entirety of the time the two of you have known each other, and it makes you want to bear your teeth at him or kick him in the shin, scream until his ears bleed. Does he really think you so small and insignificant that he cannot even address you by name when he speaks to you? Asshole. 
“I’ve been here,” and there is too much truth to the words. 
“On this bench?”
“What?” you look away from him again, swallowing. He is not a funny person, and you would like to tell him so. He’s looming over you, hands on his hips and a pissed off look on his face, and sometimes, you’ve realized that the angrier he gets the wetter it makes you, and you really don’t want to think about that right now either. You’re too tired, you don’t want to think about anything. You wonder if anyone’d notice if you just laid down right here and went to sleep forever. There are two warring sides within you, one that whispers that you could drop dead infront of him, and he’d not give a single fuck, and another that says that if something bad happened to you he’d be truly, truly displeased. 
You feel newly hatched, newly made, too exhausted to deal with the enormity of all you feel for him right now. 
He tries to knock your ankle again, and you whip your face back towards him “What do you want?” You spit at him, and his mouth parts, a little shocked, you’ve never been anything but meek and sweet and desperate towards him. But the shock of your temper passes quickly, and you watch him harden like stone before your very eyes. His face and demeanor going stony and angry and serious, readying to put you in your place. The sight of it chases all the fight out of you, you deflate like a sadly trampled flower and seem to melt into the surface of the bench. Let him do and say what he will, you don’t care anymore. 
“I want you to fucking look at me when I’m speaking to you, first of all. And I want to know where you’ve been and why you haven’t come around?” 
Voice dead: “Don’t you also want to know why I don’t knock before walking into other people’s homes?” And you don’t know where it comes from, and you kind of feel like you might vomit at his feet or start crying or a little bit of both, but you’re glad you say it anyways. 
Another look of shock, and if you weren’t so beaten down bone dead tired, you’d probably smile a little. But that passes quickly again too and like a knife to a lung or a fist to the belly he says, “You did knock.”
So he knew and let you see anyways. You nod once, “You’re right, I did.”
“Is that what this is about?”
“What?”
“Stop being purposefully fuckin’ obtuse, little girl.” Little girl, fuck you.
“Obtuse. Big word, I thought you needed me for the brains.”
His frown changes, different form anger, more like confusion; “What’s wrong with you today?” You don’t know. You feel sad. Tired. Alone. Angry. 
“Nothing,” you lie, looking away from him. “Did you need something from me?” You know what the answer will be.
“No.” Yeah.
A dip of your chin. “I gave Tess my notes. The plan for tonight’s good.” You slide to the far end of the bench so that you can stand without being too close to him, and he takes a single side step towards you. All at once: confused, questioning, angry look on his face. You want to smooth out the little frowning wrinkle between his eyebrows, you want to hate him, you want to take him inside of you. The sight of his wet cock flashes in your mind. If he fucked you it’d hurt, you’re sure of it. You’re also sure you’d like it if it did. Your mother had died before you’d become a woman, gotten your period, known anything about what it would be like to walk around the world with a thing between your legs that men would covet. You’d gone to live with a woman who was kind of her friend, but not really, but who in the end, had been kind enough to shelter a lonely child, told you about the world and set you up so that you’d at least survive on your own, if not thrive. She’d told you that sometimes love hurt like a split nail, and that sometimes we liked it like that. That sometimes people came out a little gnarled and looked for equally strange things in return, and that you should be wary of this but not punish yourself for it. Things were the way they were. You’d not understood at the time, had only thought her to have the saddest sort of eyes you’d ever seen in your short life, but when you looked at yourself in the mirror now as a grown woman, you saw those same sort of eyes reflected back at you, and you felt you understood what she’d meant. 
He takes another small step towards you, and you look the opposite way, down the street towards your cold little room with the land lord who you’re pretty sure is eventually going to ask for a fuck instead of rations. The thought of that is somehow tragically better than the thought of his damp and used body and that cold and taunting look in his eyes, Tess’s pity and sharp voice and desire to strike you. 
Adam had said he had more work for you tonight, you think you’ll sleep for a few hours and then go find him. “You’re not coming,” he says sharply, interrupting your thoughts, invading your thoughts like always. 
You look back at him, the frown, the aggressive, commanding aspect of him. Of course he doesn't want you there. “No, I’m not. I have other things I need to do.” Stupid to add that on, but you can’t help yourself.
“Like what?”
“My friend Adam has been finding me work.” Stupid, stupid. Shut your damn mouth.
“What the fuck are you talking about? That’s where you’ve been running off to these past few days? I thought we had an arrangement the three of us–”
You scoff, “An arrangement? That’s what it was? I thought I was just your puppy,” and the words burn and writhe like something poisoned on your tongue. You’d never said that word aloud to him, never acknowledged what it is they see you as. 
He swallows, at a loss for words, “Listen, if this is about–”
“Joel, I don’t care how you keep your dick wet. We had,” another bitter laugh, we, what a fucking joke, “The arrangement served its purpose, but I think it’s run its course, don’t you? I’ll help with plans when you guys need me, but I need more work. Teddy,” the landlord, “s’been asking for more rent rations–”
“That slimy fuck can’t do that to you–”
You ignore him, stepping back and soldiering on, “And I need more work. I’ve been helping the clean up crews–”
His eyes go wide and bugged and furious, and he takes several more steps to match your retreating ones, “You’ve been doing fucking what? And who the fuck is Adam?” he growls, hand coming up to catch you when all you want at this moment is for him to finally let you go. At the same time, the man he was speaking to before, the pseudo arguer, calls out to him from behind, coming up upon the two of you, and when Joel turns to look back at him you spin on your heel and scamper away as quick as you can. He calls out your name after you, the fifth time he’s ever said it, and it is no longer a split nail, but a split limb, a split rib, a split heart, something terrible and devastating. 
You make it back to your room in time to collapse into the saddest puddle of tears that’s surely ever existed. Face down, buried in your pillows you cry for a thing you’d never even had the possibility of having, but which still hurts like a blow to the skull nonetheless. Something that you can no longer push from your mind or close your eyes to or swallow and hide away in your belly. He doesn’t love you. He never has and he never will, and there was never the possibility of it, and you have to accept that. And you must also accept that it is not some failing on your part, his inability to choose you, to love you. You know that there are parts of Joel that are broken beyond repair, sometimes people come out a little gnarled and look for equally strange things in return, and you cannot tell yourself either that it’s his loss because honestly, perhaps, it isn’t. Perhaps, it just isn't meant to be, and it is no sort of loss because it was never really anything that was ever supposed to really be. You must tell yourself these things not to hurt yourself but because you are tired of hurting. He doesn't love you, and it isn't your fault, and there's nothing you could have done about it and nothing you can do about it and things move forward anyways. 
You sleep after this, lulled into unconsciousness by the pounding of your temples and the slow, cold drip of your tears across the bridge of your nose and into your ear. The wall your bed is pushed up against is a sickly yellow color, deep, old cracks and water damage marring the surface, and it’s such a sad sight it makes you even more depressed, and when you finally close your eyes to escape it, even though all you can see in your mind is the look on his face right before you walked away from him, even though it’s an infinitely painful sort of thing, it soothes you in a sick and twisted sort of way to know he’s out there in the world existing. Even if you want to hate him, even if you don’t, even if his very existence pains you, it’s still somehow comforting. 
-
The job Adam has for you turns out to be stupider and more dangerous and bigger than you’d bargained for. His crew is trying to steal a generator from an old FEDRA warehouse that they’d heard about through their grapevine of informants. He doesn’t tell you what the generator is for, nor where it is they’re exactly stealing it from. All he tells you is that he needs you to stand at a previously decided upon spot in the woods near where their drop off location is, and keep watch. There will be another person posted a few miles away from you, and if there’s any movement there shouldn’t be you’re to come looking for the next person who’ll find the next and then the next and alert whoever it is that needs to be alerted that something’s amiss. Stand, watch, signal if necessary, and it seems simple enough, but the catch, the fact that you need to leave the QZ is what you’d not accounted for. Something you’d never done before. After several hours of restless sleep and a slightly revolting can of old chili and beans you feel partially more yourself and not so haggardly terrible. You’ve decided that the conversation with Joel never happened and that you’re going to avoid the two of them for the rest of your life and pretend like you never met them and they don’t exist and maybe you’ll even give Adam a chance to fuck you, and then perhaps, the memory of Joel will be jostled out of your head by another mans dick. Good, sound plan. 
It’s raining something awful outside by the time the two of you make it to the meetup point and the place where you’re to stay and keep watch, and you don’t think about the fact that at this very moment Tess and Joel are probably also sneaking their way out of the QZ to go on their own run. You’re comforted by the fact that you know that their raid will lead them in the opposite direction of where you’ll be tonight. The spot you’re to keep isn’t so deep in the woods that the moonlight isn’t able to make its way through the trees, and the rain has abated slightly by the time you’re settled into your spot on the cold ground where you’re to wait and watch. Adam leaves with a short nod and a brush of his thumb to the high arch of your cheekbone which elicits a slightly nauseating flip of your stomach that you choose to ignore. Evasion is obviously your favorite tactic of self preservation, and you wonder when all this burying of your head in the sand will finally catch up to you. 
You sit for several hours in the dark silence, and it eventually stops raining and with the cessation of the cold downpour comes your fear. The silence is so loud and the dark seems to swell and throb around you with the loss of the rhythm and movement of the rain. You’re freezing cold, and Adam had said to not move until he came back for you, but he’d not specified how long that’d be, and now that you’re stuck here, shivering and stomach cramping with hunger, fuck those beans, you’re realizing how ostensibly stupid this was of you, and you also can’t help but think that Joel would have never asked this of you, he would have never left you out here in the dark wilderness unprotected, he probably would’ve tied you up and muzzled you before he even let you out of the QZ, and to be perfectly honest, you think you’d probably like that too. Pathetic. 
You sit for a short while longer before something shifts. The moon or the wind or something that doesn’t feel right; your level of fear ricochets up to a scream for a second, and then you hear the snap of a branch from what seems to be one side, and then the shift of trees from another direction. You get to your feet and make a slow circle in the place your standing, frightened eyes searching the darkness for something that shouldn’t be there, and as you’re about to call it quits and bolt, fuck Adam and his stupid plan, you’re jerked back into a rock solid, wide chest, large, rough hand clamping tight and painful over your mouth. You freeze paralyzed for a single second, heart racing within your chest like a small animal on the verge of death, but then his rough voice, angrier than you’ve ever heard it, soft in your ear. “You better tell me I’m hallucinating you out here right now.” Your body sags, adrenaline leaving you in a florid rush, so that you’re wilting in his hold. You make a choked, garbled sort of noise in your throat, head hanging so that the weight of it is held in the cup of his palm, and you’re pretty sure you feel his head bend to nose into the back of your loose hair at the base of your skull. The two of you stand like that for a few moments while you catch your breath, and yes, that’s definitely the tip of his nose smelling at your hair, the soft place behind your ear. The feel of his skin meeting yours sparks a sort of frenzy within you, and you snap into rage, limbs jerking and shivering and throwing you into movement, pulling yourself out of his grip and whipping back to face him. In the weak light of the moon you can see that his eyes are darker and angrier than you’ve ever seen them. Even that time you were incredibly stupid and clumsy and had slipped on a ladder you shouldn’t have been climbing, for a job you shouldn’t have taken and cracked a rib. He is definitely more furious with you this time. 
“Let me guess,” he spits, taking an aggressive step towards you, “This is the fucking job your little fuckin’ friend got for you.” He says your name again, for the sixth time and twice in one day, and it’s enfolded in a casing of rage that feels bitter and punishing in a way that makes a sharp pain start up behind your left eyeball, deep in your brain. “How fucking stupid can you be coming out here? You’re going to get yourself killed, caught, thrown in FEDRA prison, and I’m not gonna be able to get your ass out, you hear me? You are not fuckin’ built to be out here doin’ shit like this and–”
You rush at him suddenly, using all your weight to slam your palms into his chest, the rain has started up again, and he’s slightly slippery and steaming hot beneath his wet clothes. You slam your tiny and inconsequential fists into the incredible strength of his chest, the other going up to the edge of his jaw to try and shove his face back but he’s too strong and too big and too unmoved so that you’re left to resort to simply digging your nails into the meat of his cheek like a pathetic little kitten. “I am so fucking sick–” you try and shove him again, and he takes a looming step into you, bumping his chest into yours and jostling you into taking a forced step back, “Of the way you treat me.” You drag your nails over the edge of his jaw and down his neck, trying to draw blood, incite a reaction, but he’s made of stone and you hate him. “You’re such a fucking asshole all the time, and I’m tired of it, and I hate you.” There are tears sliding down your face, and you thank the sky for the masking of the rain. “You find me so fucking burdensome, so annoying, so useless or whatever your fucking problem is with me then go away, leave me alone! What I’m doing out here is none of your business.” Another weak slam of your fists to his chest, the drag of your nails down the thick jut of his collarbone, and you shove yourself back and away from him. Chest heaving, throat choked with tears and resentment and fear and love for him. 
“You hate me, huh?” he says very quietly and very calmly. 
Your face spasms in frustration and rage, and you turn away from him to face the dark of the surrounding woods, hands coming up to clutch and pull at your hair. “Yes. I hate you so much,” the sobbing heaves make it all sound very convincing, you’re sure. 
“And you’re tired of the way I treat you?”
Why is he so fucking calm? Maybe you should hit him again. “Yes, I am.”
“Got your little panties all in a twist, don’t you, little girl?” Little, little, little. Your heart dips down into your stomach, your arms falling to hang limply at your sides. “But I bet if I checked, they’d also be wet for me right now, wouldn’t they?” You’ve never heard his voice sound like this. You turn slowly back to look at his face again, but before you can even shake your head, deny it, he’s rushing at you, strong hand clamping painfully around your jaw, smooshing your cheeks together, and he’s seething at you through clenched teeth. “You fuckin hate me? Well I hate you back. I hate you more. More than you could ever imagine, and I fucking hate how much you make me want you.” Your eyes go wide and shocked and full of tears. “Huh? How ‘bout that? Bet you weren’t expectin’ that, were you?” He’s so angry the drawl of his accent is deepened, sharper, amputating the ends of his words with his rage, and he shoves you away by the grip on your face, leaving you to stumble in shock. 
You can’t speak, can’t say anything, he’s struck you dumb. Your eyes slither down his wet form. His soaking flannel is plastered to his thick torso, big, bulging arms and wide chest, his long legs encased in dark denim. When your gaze makes its way back up to his face he’s scowling at you. “Got nothin’ to say?” You take a tiny step back and he matches it with one of his own forward, a half jerk of your chin. “Have you let that stupid fuck have you?” 
And you really weren’t expecting that, “What?” voice confused and breathy, heat pooling low in your tummy. You look over his shoulder at the dark space behind him, “Where’s Tess?” 
He shakes his head, irritated and short, “I pissed her off. She stayed back. Adam – are you letting him fuck you?” Another step forward to match one of your own, and his eyes flash down to your feet, he gives a slight shake of his head as if to warn you off of your retreat. 
This angers you. “What do you care who I’m letting have me? What if he is fucking me? As if that’s any of your damn business.” You take two more steps back, and his face spasms in anger. 
“Fucking run,” he whispers, “I dare you.” Your legs lock in obstinacy, you’re not doing what he tells you anymore. “Answer me. Are you letting him fuck you?”
“No.” Pathetic. 
“But he wants to.”
“Yes.”
Something verging on a snarl deep in his chest, “And he brought you out here? Left you out here alone? When he wants you like that? And you were stupid enough to let him?” But suddenly, something is clicking inside of your mind, and you’re not really paying attention to the things he’s saying to you anymore. He’s angry. He’s jealous. You give him a little smile and oh, that really pisses him off. You give another step back, nod your head gently at him, soft smile widening. Another deep, rumbly sound that makes your cunt go soft and wet and your heart gallop inside of you. “You better fucking run, little girl. You’re not going to like what happens when I get my hands on you, and I’m not going to care.”
It’s not a threat. It’s a promise, and you don’t need him to tell you twice. You spin on your heel and make a run for it. Weaving through the trees, guided by the weak light of the rainy moon, you know there are houses a short ways west, and you pump your legs and arms as fast as you can in that direction. You’ll hide in one of them. If he finds you, catches you is a thought for when or if he does so. But you can hear the heavy pound of his boots slamming against the ground behind you, close enough to jostle your heart up into your throat, and you let out an entirely inappropriate little squeal as you do your best to speed up. But he’s stronger, legs longer and more powerful and being caught was an inevitability. As soon as the first house comes into view an uncompromisingly strong arm is wrapping around your waist, painfully crushing your ribs in the circle of his grasp and slamming you into his chest. He comes to a jerking halt with you held in his arms, and the length of his panting, steaming body presses into your back, his other arm coming up to circle you as well, and he reaches for your heaving breast, clutching the heavy weight of it tightly in his hand and squeezing a ragged moan out of the both of you at the same time. “Caught you,” he whispers into your throat, pressing a thick, growing erection into your bottom. He spins you in his hold, nothing gentle about the way he handles you, grips you by the jaw forcing your mouth open, fingers digging between your molars and slams his mouth to yours, wet tongue licking into you, tasting behind your teeth, the surface of your tongue. You moan and claw and scratch at him, trying to hit him and pull him closer and push him away, all at the same time. Hand snaking from your jaw to fist in the back of your hair he yanks your head back, wet mouth left open and panting and that anger is different now, something unrecognizable about it when he says, “More than anything though, I hate how much I want this cunt.” His hand on your waist has slithered down over your ass and between your legs to cup your pussy in his wide hand, fingers pressing harshly at the seam of your denim over your clit. You think you must whisper his name because he nods his head once, and then is bending at the knees to press his shoulder into the soft of your belly and straightening to his full height again with you slung over the thick mass of his wide shoulder like a sack of potatoes. You don’t even protest, just lay there limply, arms and hair hanging overhead and swaying with the rhythm of his gait as he starts to walk towards the first house, and all you can think is finally. 
He does two slow roves around the house before he tries the backdoor handle, in the end, simply resorting to kicking it in. He pauses at the threshold for a moment, and he’s not even slightly out of breath with the entirety of your weight folded over his shoulder after that chase. The ground is so far away from where you hang, he’s so tall, and you can’t help it when you drag your hand up the denim over the back of his thigh, over the thick swell of muscle of his ass to the edge of his jeans where you tuck your fingers in, feeling the heat of his damp skin. He growls at that, at the feel of your exploration and grips the back of one of your thighs tightly, the other coming up to squeeze an ass cheek in his hand, and then you feel the press of his face and the sharp bite of his teeth as he sinks them into the side of your ass over the thick fabric of your pants with a gruff snarl. You whimper, digging your fingers into the muscles of his lower back. He kicks the door shut behind you and moves slowly through the entire house after that, pistol gripped in one hand, you in the other, making sure the house is alone and secure. When he’s finally assured himself that the two of you are alone, he makes his way to one of the bedrooms, shutting and locking the door behind the two of you and then ripping the old dusty comforter and pillows off the bed where he shucks you off his shoulder, letting you fall to the mattress with a limp bounce. He doesn’t even ask, doesn’t say anything, simply starts at the laces of your boots, pulling them from your feet and then your socks where he lifts your small foot, big hand wrapped entirely around the thing of it, and drags his teeth over your sensitive instep. You moan, trying to pull your limb away from him, but he flashes you a hot and warning look and you settle. What’s the point in fighting, you think, if this is the very thing you’ve wanted all this time anyways? He pulls you up by the lapels of your too thin jacket, which he tuts at recriminatingly, divests you of it. Before he pushes you back to flop on the bed again, he grips you by the throat to lick into your mouth once more, moans deep and wanton in his chest, a vibration of sound you’ve never before heard from any man at the simple taste of you. He works at your jeans and sweater next, then finally your panties and bra. He doesn’t seem to really look until you’re finally entirely bare for him, limbs splayed out, soft and loose and too sticky sweet. His eyes are like fire, they burn, and you stretch and arch for him, letting him scorch you. He falls forward, propped up over you by the strength of his thick arms and dips his head to suck a single nipple into his mouth, opens his jaw wider and bites at the full globe of your breast as if he could swallow the entire thing. He moves to give the other one equal attention, your hands coming up to thread through his thick curls, and when he looks back up at you his gaze is manic, and if you wanted him less, maybe had more sense, it would perhaps be frightening. 
“What do you want?” He asks you in a way that tells you he doesn’t really care what your answer is.
“Anything.”
He shakes his head at you as he moves to grip you beneath the bend of each knee to spread you wide for him. “Begging for things you don’t know nothin’ about.”
“I don’t care,” you tell him, “I want them anyways,” because it’s the truth, and he nods his head like he already knew, like he knows everything there is to know about you and maybe even the things that you don’t even know about yourself yet. 
“You’re too young,” he shoulders his way down to lay on his belly between your thighs, and when his eyes land on your slick, swollen cunt his voice drops down to an even lower octave. “And you want this too much.”
“I know. I don’t care.” You drag your thumb over the arch of his thick eyebrow, the hairs are coarse but soft and then he lowers his mouth to your pussy.
He eats your cunt like everything else he does, a little mean. Starts with gentle laps, soft kisses, but eventually, graduates to sharp sucks and harsh nips, all teeth and tongue and plush lips so that your hips are arching in desperate and begging little motions, thrusting up into his face. When he presses first one then two of those thick long fingers into your opening it pinches in a way you weren't expecting. Only his fingers have you twinging on the verge of discomfort, and you don’t know how you’ll take his cock, but you know he isn’t going to give you the opportunity for choice or pause, and so you lay there and spread your legs wider and take it. He interchanges between rough and gentle, fingers petting softly at that sensitive place inside of you you’ve always wanted to give him, but mouth sharp and mean sucking harshly at your clit, nipping at the lips of your sex and the vulnerable soft of your thighs, covering the entirety of your pussy with his mouth and then licking at your fluttering hole when he pulls his fingers from you to taste the rivulet of slick you’re weeping for him. He groans and you watch the shift of his shoulders and back, the thrust of his hips as he grinds his cock into the mattress desperately, the gathering of sweat at his hairline. He presses his fingers back in, crooks and shakes them inside of you to jostle your orgasm forward, and like every other time you’ve followed him into complacency and obedience blindly, you gush for him, a broken sob of his name splintering from behind the line of your teeth. He’s sucking and kissing at your clit, the space above where his fingers penetrate you, but when you throw your arm over your eyes to hide the sight of your overwhelmed tears from him he pauses, “Want your eyes on me when you’re coming for me, you understand?” A pinch to your asscheek, a kiss to the top of your mound. You sniffle, shifting your head to rest your cheek on your shoulder and watch him over the swell of your breasts as he resumes the work of his mouth on you. He licks through your folds, pulling his fingers from you to lap up all of your spilled lust, and when he’s done, pulling back to look down at you like some conquering villain he reaches down and pats the top of your cunt, “She’s mine now,” he tells you, and you can’t even dispute it. He kneels between your spread legs, a murmured, wanna look at you, as he starts on the buttons of his shirt, pulling it open and baring himself to you. You’d already seen his naked chest that other time, and the memory of it embitters the moment, you turn your face into the crook of your raised arms, hiding your face away from him, and he tuts at you. “Told you, want those gorgeous eyes on me at all times.” And you love him, Christ, you do. It’s the most unfair thing in the world, the most painful thing that’s ever happened to you in your entire life. You want to cry and scream and kick. You obey anyways. Shifting your face with a small sniffle to peer up at him from beneath your lashes. You want to pull your legs closed, feeling suddenly, unbearably shy and hurt and newly made. Like the orgasm he’d pulled forth from you had brought to light the reality of your existence in the world, in his life. A non entity. 
And like he can read your mind, like he’s acquired a direct line of communication for himself to your brain, your very heart: “Me and Tess haven’t been anything for a while.” He goes for the button of his jeans, you listen to the teeth of the zipper parting for you. “Not since you started coming around.” You would like to ask him to stop. You make to close your legs, your cunt like a wound in the shape of your desire for him, bared and obvious to the whole world, but he grips you about the round of your knee, squeezing the joint and keeping you spread for him. “I just couldn’t anymore. And the other day– what you saw the other day was just me being desperate and pathetic and unfairly angry at you. It was me being weak and stupid, and that isn’t an excuse.” He stands and shucks his jeans, he’s not wearing underwear, and God, you want him with a sort of desperation that’s unhinged and maybe even wrong or depraved. “She knows we’ve been through. Told her again today, but still… I needed to stay away to keep you away. This shouldn't be happening right now, and yet it’s going to anyway, and after this, it’s going to keep happening–” Your heart flames into elation, and then goes frozen and bitter all at the same time. You want to kick him away, but settle for trying to twist away from him. Angry and hurt and not wanting to hear anymore, to think about him fucking her, of their shared history, their relationship. 
You try and wriggle away, but he pulls you back by your hips, big hands sliding up the slopes of your waist to squeeze and knead at your breasts. You grip and claw at him, “I don’t care, I don’t care. I don’t want to hear any of it. You’ve been so–” you gasp on a sob. 
“I know,” he nuzzles into your skin. “I know,” a kiss to your jaw and his bare form is settling between your thighs, his thick, long cock coming to rest heavily over the wet, parted seam of your cunt. You gasp at the feel of him there. “Don’t think I’ve ever wanted to take something for myself as badly as I wanted to take you. It made me mean as a dog.” He sucks a nipple into his mouth, biting gently. His mouth is everywhere, his hands gripping and pinching at your breasts, clutching at your ass to grind his hard cock against your pussy. He pulls back, and the wide head notches at your entrance. Oh, please, fuck me, fuck me. Finally. 
“Gonna fuck your little cunt, baby. Make you all mine.”
“Please, Joel.” He goes slowly at first, fat head catching on the rim, popping it in and out, he pauses to look down, only his tip held inside of you, and he spits, right at the place where the two of you’re connected, smears it in with his fingers. 
“Hot little pussy. Gonna take the whole thing, greedy little girl. Aren’t you?” You nod your head stupidly, mouth hanging open, eyes wide and wet, and you wonder if he can read that you’re in love with him there. You kind of hope he can. He presses in slowly so that you’re forced to feel every bump and ridge, your hips rocking unconsciously, trying to take more faster, but he’s big, thick and heavy, and the taking is not easy. You’re left gasping and arching, writhing wantonly on his cock by the time he’s sunk balls deep inside of you. There’s a bead of sweat sliding down the slope of his cheek, and you have to force yourself to keep your mouth shut and your tongue inside with the hopes of catching it there. He pants and groans, pulling and pressing you closer into him, grinding deep so that the wide head rubs at the mouth of your cervix. You can feel the ripple and shiver of your muscles, your body trying to adjust to such a large invasion and he kisses and licks at your face, your neck and shoulders and tits, and when your breathing has finally settled he pulls back to look down at you, gives a few light thrusts of his hips, eyes glued to the place where your cunt swallows him, spread obscenely, fit to burst around him. He looks back up at you, “Have you adjusted?” A pause for a brief nod of your head, “Yes? Good. Not gonna be gentle.” You don’t think you’ve ever wanted him to be gentle. After all, the way you’ve always felt about him has never been gentle in turn either. His thrusts take on a brutal edge, the wet slap of his balls against your ass loud and sticky against the slick curve of your ass. “Fucking Christ,” he bends his head to nip at your breast, big hand coming up to squeeze the entire thing and suck it into his mouth, “Got the wettest little cunt, baby.” 
You want to beg him to go harder, deeper, to fuck you like he’s in love with you. “It’s yours,” you whisper instead. 
“Yeah– fuck yes, it is. Yeah, baby, take my cock. Just like that.” He grips you by the knee, bringing your ankle to his shoulder to bob limply there, folding you entirely in half so that he can drill into you, and you reach up to hook your fingers against the edge of his bottom teeth, pulling his mouth open to peer inside. He laps and bites at your fingers, grips your own jaw, your throat, and you drag your nails down his jaw, his neck leaving little scorches of hurt in your wake. “Wanna see you fucked full of my come. Wanna see you leaking me. You gonna let me fill you up, sweet girl?”
Yes, yes, yes, please. Please, fill me up. 
Your other ankle thrown over his shoulder now too, he presses his entire weight into you, his face pressed against yours, whispering into your skin, “And if I fuck you full of my baby? What’ll you do then? Hate me more?”
“No, no, never,” voice delirious and filled with a sort of frenetic energy he seems to be able to harness at whim. “Please, please, fuck me full of your baby. Please, I want it so bad, Joel. I do, I do.” He pauses his thrusts, holds there in the depths of you, grinds and squeezes you so tight you think a lung might burst. 
When he pulls back the look on his face is just as unhinged as you’ve always felt about him. “Fucking Christ,” he starts to slam back into you, thumb at your clit, the other cradling the bowl of your skull in his palm, fingers woven through your hair. “Yeah– yeah, I’m gonna do it,” he grits. “Then it won’t fucking matter if you hate me or not. You’ll be stuck with me anyways.” He bends to kiss you again, and he tastes like violence, you lick into his mouth, take in the taste of his tongue. When he pulls back to look down at where he’s fucking into you, you reach down to grasp the half of his cock outside of your wet clutch, you want to feel where he’s caliming you, shiny with your slick, you half jack him off with sharp little tugs. “Come inside me, come inside me.” He changes the angle, punches at your g-spot, and the rub of your hand over your clit where you’re gripping him, the feel of his skin, his voice, the slide of his cock, in, in, in, and you’re both shivering and jerking with orgasm, throbbing into one another as he starts to fill you with his spend, his teeth bared in a growl as he marks you with himself. His hips slow, press and grind, and you feel the heavy jerk of his cock inside of you as your muscles work to suck him deeper, milking his come out of him with each tightening pull of your cunt. He presses his face into the damp crook of your shoulder, licks at the sweat gathered there, mouths wetly at your jaw, and you run your hands up the bumps and ridges of his muscled back. There’s a slight tremble running through him, and you hope it means he’s as overwrought by this as you are, that he wanted this as badly as you did, that he’ll want it again as desperately as you already do. He starts to shift, moving down the length of your body, kissing and licking as he goes, his sated cock slipping wetly from your cunt with a shuddered groan from him as he settles back again between your legs and starts to lick the slick from your overwrought cunt. Not seeming to care that he’s eating his own come as well. “Look so pretty drooling me here,” he murmurs, thumbing gently at your trembling opening. “Gonna fill it every day now. Fuck it full of my baby. You want that?” He looks up at you with a sly look, nipping at your thigh, sucking marks into your skin, all you can do is nod. Once he’s through licking you he crawls back up your body, wedges your jaw open and with a puckered mouth lets a long string of spit and come slowly seep out of his mouth and into your open, waiting one. It’s disgusting and dirty and entirely delicious. 
As he flops back on top of you heavily, you drag your nails up and down his skin, threading your fingers through his curls and angling his head to hide beneath the edge of your jaw. His breathing starts to slow and deepen after a while, and you smile lightly, wrapping your arms and legs around him like snaking, strangling vines, and pressing your nose into the thick of his hair, taking in the musky, masculine scent of him, you know that after this you'll do anything, anything to keep him here with you just like this. 
Netherfeildren's Masterlist
Updates Blog
1K notes · View notes
Text
Invisible Girl- Pt. 1 🫥
Tumblr media
Coriolanus Snow x Reader
*Follows movie adaptation*
☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️
Y/N Ravinstill's world was one of opulence and deceit. Born into the prestigious Ravinstill family, she was overshadowed by her twin brother Felix, whose incompetence was forgiven due to his gender.
One evening, Y/N's mother scolded her for reading a political article. "Leave those matters to your brother, Y/N. A woman's concerns are different."
"Felix, you should learn something from your sister," President Ravinstill would jest, not realizing the injustice in his words.
Y/N sat in her room, browsing over ancient texts. Felix barged in, a condescending smirk on his face. "Still pretending you're as capable as me, little sister? No amount of reading can change the fact that you're just a woman."
Y/N, accustomed to such belittlement, held her composure. "Perhaps, Felix, you mistake arrogance for capability."
There was a rare combination of beauty and intellect that Y/N possessed and it went unnoticed by her family. The Ravinstills upheld a tradition of favoring males, her potential was dismissed, and achievements ignored. Her only escape was the Academy, where her last name granted her popularity, yet the disdain lingered even there.
———————————————————-
Y/N's escape was the Academy, a place where her family name granted her popularity. But popularity came at a price. Arachne, fueled by jealousy, made Y/N's life unbearable and she endured the hate with a grace that only fueled Arachne's bitterness.
Sejanus, the rebellious soul, recognized Y/N's struggles. He became her friend, a companion in the silent rebellion against the Capitol's prejudices. Coriolanus, the ambitious but conflicted boy from the fallen Snow dynasty, observed Y/N from a distance, his curiosity growing into something more.
"She's different, Sejanus. She sees beyond the surface. It's... intriguing," Coriolanus admitted, his eyes following Y/N's graceful movements.
-——————————————————— It was a chilly afternoon at the Academy, and the courtyard was deserted, except for Coriolanus, who sat alone at a weathered bench, picking at his leftover lunch. His eyes were distant, lost in the tumultuous thoughts that often haunted him. Unbeknownst to him, Y/N observed from a distance her heart was stirred by an unspoken compassion.
Approaching cautiously, Y/N cleared her throat, "Coriolanus, is this seat taken?"
He looked up, surprise flickering in his eyes. "Oh, um, no. You can sit."
Wordlessly, she placed a small bundle on the table—a set of clothes that once belonged to Felix but were discarded without a second thought. "I thought you might need these. My brother doesn't appreciate good things."
Coriolanus, unused to such kindness, stammered, "I... thanks, Y/N. But why?"
She shrugged, a small smile playing on her lips. "Because we're more than the labels they put on us, remember? If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here."
Coriolanus, taken aback by this unexpected gesture, blushed, his usual guarded demeanor momentarily shattered. "I... sure, thanks."
From that day forward, an unspoken understanding formed between them. Y/N's act of kindness became a bridge, allowing them to traverse the gap that societal expectations had created.
-———————————————————
As weeks passed, Coriolanus found himself seeking Y/N's company more often. Their interactions evolved from awkward exchanges to genuine conversations, laughter, and shared secrets. The walls he had carefully built around himself began to crumble.
One afternoon, Y/N caught Coriolanus stealing glances at her during a lecture. "What's on your mind, Coryo?" she teased.
He looked away, feigning nonchalance. "Nothing, just... thinking."
Y/N's eyes twinkled with amusement. "Thinking about what, exactly?"
Coriolanus, unable to hide his smile, admitted, "Maybe about someone who's changed my perspective on a lot of things."
———————————————————
The Academy's grand hall buzzed with the energy of students preparing for the day's classes. Y/N, usually composed, entered the room, unaware that Arachne, fueled by jealousy, had plotted a public humiliation.
As Y/N took her seat, whispers circulated through the room. Arachne, with a venomous smile, stood up and called out, "Attention, everyone! I have a little game to play. Let's see if Y/N, with all her supposed intelligence, can handle a real challenge."
Sejanus and Coriolanus exchanged uneasy glances as the class turned its attention to Y/N. The atmosphere thickened with anticipation.
Arachne approached Y/N's desk, brandishing a sheet of paper. "I found this abandoned in the library. Looks like someone's secret poetry." She grinned maliciously.
Y/N, caught off guard, felt her face flush with embarrassment. The room fell silent as Arachne began to read aloud, her tone dripping with mockery.
"Roses are red, violets are blue, In the shadows, Y/N's secrets are true. A girl who thinks she's smart and wise, But in reality, it's all just lies."
Felix, seated nearby, erupted into laughter, relishing the moment. The cruel jest reverberated through the room, and Y/Ns friends, Sejanus and Coriolanus, exchanged glares with Arachne.
Sejanus, unable to tolerate the humiliation, spoke out, "Arachne, enough! This is petty and unnecessary."
Coriolanus, torn between his loyalty to Y/N and the desire to fit into the Capitol's expectations, remained silent, his gaze fixed on the floor.
Undeterred, Arachne continued, "Oh, Sejanus, you always were the bleeding heart. Can't you see? Y/N's just like the rest of us—full of flaws and secrets."
Y/N, gathering her composure, met Arachne's gaze. "I'm shocked you are so interested in me, Crane. Perhaps you should focus on all of your flaws instead of creating drama."
The retort, though defiant, only fueled Arachne's anger. As the class continued, whispers persisted, but Y/N, resilient, turned her attention to the lesson at hand. Little did Arachne know, the attempted humiliation only strengthened Y/N's resolve to defy the expectations placed upon her by the Capitol, and the ember of resistance within her burned brighter than ever.
759 notes · View notes
leqonsluv3r · 4 months
Note
picnic date with Leon 🥺
love
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
re2!leon kennedy x f!reader
— a oneshot (request)
warnings: so much fluff it’s kinda gross, a little touching, mentions of sex, reader is female and uses (she/her) pronouns, leon is the best boyfriend ever and we love him for that, no physical description of reader except that she has hair, pet names (baby, sweet girl, etc.) based heavily on love by lana del rey (leon is lana coded bc i say so).
“she didn’t know what else to expect to her already worse work week, besides the papers that always seemed to pile up on her desk and swarm her like a colony of hungry bees. she hated her job, wanted to slap her boss and her co-workers. so how could this week get any worse? she thinks it will when her phone buzzes with a text from leon, only to find out if she wants to go on a picnic date this weekend. suddenly, her week just got better by a thousand percent.”
— or reader is having a terrible week and leon decides to spoil his favorite girl
an: thank you for the request, i loved writing something that wasn’t pure smut for once. did include a little seggsy tho (i can’t resist). gave my overworked brain a little vacation lol. i took your idea and ran with it, hope you enjoy <3
masterlist taglist
Tumblr media
she actually hated her boss. hated him.
aside from spilling coffee on herself this morning before she left for the office, she had a thousand reports on her desks and emails flooding her work inbox. her boss went on a rant about her work performance and the fact that he was almost using his superiority as a manager to make her feel belittled was enough to send her blood pumping through her veins.
but mindlessly, she tried to get through her day. taking deep breaths and trying not to freak out on her boss. only did her day get worse when she overheard gossip in the break room.
“i hear she’s like some prude. her boyfriend only touches her when he’s drunk.”
she listens in on the gossip, pouring herself some coffee that hopefully won’t make its way onto her pencil skirt again. she wondered who they could possibly be talking about so openly in the middle of the day in the break room.
the other voice goes on, one of her coworkers that she knew from working here so many years, “that’s not true. i know her personally. she told me she’s waiting for marriage.”
her ears perk up at this, all the blood draining from her face, she knew they were talking about her now. her worst fears have been confirmed. she should’ve never stupidly trusted someone she worked with to keep such information about her relationship with leon, private.
she felt so stupid. but they kept going and she kept listening. the other women who she didn’t know opened her mouth again, “still, how much of a prude do you have to be to wait until marriage? like just fuck and get it over with already. unless he’s ugly…”
she feels anger rise in her like tsunami. leon? ugly? he could never be ugly. he was so fucking beautiful. how could this random woman even say that about her and her relationship without even knowing her? she kept her back turned and waited for the coworker she was more familiar with to say something.
“he’s actually quite a looker. shame she got her hands on him, if i had a man like that. i would fuck him until he couldn’t see straight.” she fisted her porcelain coffee cup with white knuckles, almost fuming and waiting for steam to pour out of her ears. jesus, she wanted to smack this woman silly, she considered them friends and now she was just so openly bragging to another woman of the company…that she wanted to fuck her boyfriend of two years.
she fumed and briskly left the break room with her coffee, slamming the door to the room shut behind her as she briskly walked back to her office, trying to keep up a demeanor that was professional and meanwhile she was seething on the inside.
she finally reached her office and went inside, slamming the door as she rounded her desk and sat her cup of coffee down on it. she leaned her elbows on her desk, burying her hands into her hands.
she wanted to cry, this week had been terrible and today was one of the worst out of all of them. and she needed to manage to get through it until after tomorrow.
thanking god it was thursday, one more day and she wouldn’t have to think of this place for a solid 48 hours. she took shaky breaths, trying to calm herself so she didn’t cry at her desk at work. she was still fuming from hearing that conversation in the break room about her personal life.
eventually, her phone buzzed on her desk and she looked down at her phone. she sighs and shakes her head, praying it’s not another report or upset client. she can’t handle anymore of that today, or this week for that matter.
she grabs her phone and looks at the contact, it was leon, she sighs in relief and smiles as she opens the text thread, looking at the screen.
LEON <3 : hey baby, just wanted to check in on my break. hope your doing okay, know it’s been a rough one for u.
besides wanting to cry at my desk all morning. first my boss says my reports are useless and utter shit. then i hear two of my coworkers gossiping in the break room about me like it’s no big deal. i hate this place, this week has sucked :(
LEON <3 : whoa, what? oh my god. are you okay? i know that’s so stupid to ask considering everything u just told me but…god. i’m so sorry.
no, i’m humiliated. i feel like stabbing my eyes out with my pencils at my desk. i hate this place, i hate everyone. minus u ofc <3
but seriously, i can’t wait to get through tomorrow and just be done with this place. even if it’s for two days.
LEON <3 : hmmm, that reminds me. do you still plan on coming over on friday night?
uhhh, yeah. considering i haven’t seen you all week. unless your canceling on me. which just makes me wanna cry more :,)
LEON <3 : oh god no, fuck that. i would never cancel on you baby. i just have an idea. and i was wondering if you would like it, considering how stressful and overwhelming your week has been.
i’m listening….
LEON <3 : you still come over on friday night, you pack a change of clothes and we go for a picnic on saturday. i know a good spot. and plus, im a good cook.
you don’t have to…
LEON <3 : but i WANT too. i wanna make my girl happy after having such an awful week. you need this baby. don’t bother arguing with me >:)
fineeee i suppose i could pack an overnight bag, stay the whole weekend at your place. go on a little picnic and ACTUALLY enjoy myself for once.
LEON <3 : that’s the spirit my love :). don’t worry, i’ll take care of you this weekend. don’t stress and don’t worry. trust in your amazing boyfriend ;)
you are an amazing boyfriend. don’t let that boost your already enormous ego though lol. god, i miss you so much. i can’t wait to see you. :,)
LEON <3 : you only have a little less then 48 hours to go before you see my handsome face again. don’t worry your pretty head baby, i’ll make you forget all about this week. spoil the absolute shit out of you. <3
okay, i gotta get back to work before my boss comes in to belittle me some more about phone usage at work :,). i’ll see you soon babe, i love you.
LEON <3 : see you soon beautiful girl, i love you too. gotta go bust some criminals lol. ttyl :)
she sighs in content, a lovesick grin on her features. she felt so much better, just talking to him through text even. it was enough to make her heart swell with love and forget all about the incidents this week.
she couldn’t wait to see him on friday night, then go on a picnic on saturday like he promised. she needed him like air sometimes. and he had been pulling shifts so frequently at the station that she barely ever saw him.
it sucked, yes. but when they did get to see each other it was absolutely worth it. she knew that he was gonna stay true to his word like he always did. make her happy, spoil her and make her forget all about her sucky week at work.
she loved him so much, it was almost consuming sometimes. overwhelming to think that before she met him two years ago, she had never known love or that men like him could even exist.
god, she was praying for this weekend to come sooner. and hopefully, it would.
Tumblr media
eventually she made it to friday, she managed to get through the day, working as hard as she could. she dealt with clients, dodged the lecturing of her boss and the gossiping of her coworkers.
she slipped out early, not really giving a fuck because all her work was finished as far as she was concerned. she had better places to be. like leon’s apartment for example.
she had packed an overnight bag that morning, watered her plants and made sure she had everything. she had kept her overnight bag stored in her car just so when she got off work, she could head straight over.
she sent him a text that she was off and she was heading over early, putting the car in reverse and leaving her works parking lot.
she drove down the familiar streets and roads until she made it to leon’s apartment, parking her car in the guest parking spot. she got out, grabbing her overnight bag and everything else she needed as she locked the car behind her.
she walked over to the gate to enter the complex, typing in the numbers and once it buzzed, she opened it and let herself in. she made her way up to the second floor, walking over to where his apartment was. she slipped her key to his apartment, unlocking the door and slipping off her shoes.
“baby? you home?” she calls out as she drops her overnight bag by her shoes, dropping her keys on the coffee table. she looks around, she feels a buzzing in her hand where her phone is. she looks at the text from leon saying he was on his way home from his shift.
she sighed and looked around his apartment, looking down at the coffee table where she sat her keys in front of his couch. she saw something sticking out from in between the pages of a book he was reading. “what the…?” she opened the book and looked in the book.
a piece of paper with scribbled writing over it, leon’s from what she recognized. she started to read the crumpled up piece of paper.
[READER],
ever since i’ve known you, i’ve loved you. i’ve never wanted anyone more then i’ve wanted you. i’m not just doing this in the hopes you’ll say yes, i’m doing this with the intention that you’ll let me love you for as long as we’re both alive.
i’m not doing it like this to be cliche, i know how much you think im corny. how hard i try to make sure you’re not laughing at me (even though i love your laugh more than anything.) i want you to know that i love you. i always have, i always will.
with that, will you please do me the honor of being my wife?
it would be my greatest achievement as man, as your boyfriend and future husband if you’ll let me.
she feels her eyes well up with subtle tears, wiping at her eyes as she looked down at the crumpled up notebook paper with a small smile, even though the letter didn’t say much, it said enough.
this was just more then a simple picnic, she knew now. why he was so keen on taking care of her this weekend. taking her out for a picnic tomorrow. she can’t believe he wanted to marry her, she wasn’t shocked but she was…she wanted to cry. it was almost like a dream come true.
she was about to re-read the note to make sure she wasn’t dreaming until she heard the lock on his front door click. she scrambled to put the crumpled up piece of paper back into the book where she found it, effectively slipping it in and standing up straight just in time as he entered the door.
“hey, honey.” he says with a small smile, kicking off his shoes. he wore his police uniform still, all pristine in pale blue and navy. she swallowed and wiped at her eyes, “hey.” she shuffles towards him and wraps her arms tightly around him.
he noticed the sniffling and the watery eyes, he craned his neck down to look at her face that was pressed into his chest, rubbing his hands up and down her back in a soothing gesture.
“are you okay? your eyes are red.” he says softly, his voice dripping with such concern it just almost made her heart melt in her chest. she nods and squeezes her arms tighter around him, “i’m okay. i just missed you.” she lies a little, she did miss him, but that wasn’t the true reason for the red eyes.
“okay, baby. it’s okay though, we’re gonna have a good weekend and your not even gonna think about work.” he says softly as he continues to rub her back up and down in a gentle gesture, smiling down at her with a soft grin. she nods, “okay, i’d like that.” she says with her cheek pressed against his chest, sniffling.
she knew she wouldn’t think about work, work was the furthest thing from her mind right now. the only thing on her mind was the picnic tomorrow and the note she had found.
she knew he was going to purpose, she wasn’t even trying to snoop, but now she knew. she loved him even more for it. if that was even possible.
Tumblr media
the next day, the morning light would peak through the curtains of leon’s bedroom window. it casted both of them in a glow that was more then just a simple glow of the morning but a new day.
she loves waking up beside him, especially today when the promises of their future hang right over her head. a promise that he’s intending to keep.
she rolls over onto him as he lays on his back, giggling as she does. she presses a small kiss to his chest and then makes a path up to his collarbone, pressing a kiss to his neck. she felt herself growing more aroused by the minute.
she wasn’t a virgin, she had dated plenty of shitty guys before leon. and it isn’t like she didn’t not want to have sex with him, they just decided to wait until marriage. but now that she knew he was going to purpose today, she forgot all about that little promise she made with him.
she presses her lips to his jaw, hearing him mumble something sleepily as she grins against his skin. she leans towards his ear, “wake up.” she mumbles as she moves her hips to sit on his covered dick in his boxers beneath the sheets. her panty clad frame gently moving her hips lightly against his as she adjusts.
she feels him slightly move again, moving in his sleep so she moves her hips more firmly on him again, feeling him grow harder against the fabric that separated them. he mumbles something and she pulls her face out of his neck, bracing her palms flat on his chest.
he slowly opens his blue eyes to meet hers, his dirty blonde hair messily on the pillow. she smiles down at him with a small grin, “morning sleeping beauty.” she chuckles as she leans down to his face and presses a kiss to his lips.
his half-asleep frame is still waking up and trying to wrap his mind around everything. “what are you doing?” he chuckles with a lazy opening and closing of his blue eyes.
“what does it look like im doing?” she says with a small smirk, moving her hips again. he had no idea where this was coming from, they had agreed to wait until marriage and now…
she was straddling his waist, her wet core on top of his morning wood, there were the barriers between them but still, he could feel everything. she tilts her head innocently at him, his blue eyes looking up at her, “why are you so…? what’s gotten into you?” he says with a small furrow of his brows as he leans up on the bed, his elbows propped up behind him.
she bites her lip and looks at him, “why am i what?” she says as she bats her eyelashes at him, feigning innocence. he struggles and takes a shaky breath, “why are you like…all over me? like, we didn’t…i thought you wanted to wait.” he manages to get out with another shaky inhale.
she sighs and rubs her palms over his chest, “i want you, i’ve waited long enough. married or not, i want you.” she says with a small look, letting his blue eyes latch onto hers. she needed him to know she was serious, that this mattered.
she knew he was going to purpose soon anyways, so what was the big deal? that’s what she thought anyways. she didn’t see it as this huge thing, it would be their first time together. but…she was ready.
“unless…your not?” she says with a small sigh as she looks down at him, her palms pressed flat on his bare chest as she looked down at him. he shook his head so fast, his hair flopping as he did, “no, i want it.” he replies as he looks up into her eyes.
“anything that you want from me, i wanna be able to give it to you. even this.” she hears him say as his blue eyes never stray from his gaze on her. she smiles widely and sniffles, “god, i love you.” she whispers as she leans down and presses a kiss to his lips.
it starts slow, his hands holding onto her waist as the kiss grows more intense and passionate. her hips moving against his erection. she doesn’t fear it now, not when she knows what will happen.
not when she can trust him. she knows he’s different, he’s not like the others. she wants to give him all of her, every single part. she wants to give him marriage, her soul, her body. she wants him to have it all.
so as the kisses and the touches escalate, she feels herself trusting in him, letting his love consume her body and mind in a way she had never known before. his kisses were like rain, falling on her skin and soaking there. his touch was like fire, spreading over her body.
it was beautiful, she couldn’t wait to have him with her forever.
Tumblr media
the picnic was beautiful.
leon, really knew how to make her forget about her shitty work week. whether it be a picnic, their first time having sex together earlier that morning, or the proposal that has yet to happen.
he really outdid himself. just like he promised, he had cooked and packed a lunch for them by a small pond in a park. it was about a 20 minute drive from his place, how she never knew it was there, she had no idea.
it was beautiful, some swans were in the pond swimming around with their babies, made her smile and think of how leon had made this so perfect without even trying. he spread out a blanket for them, sitting the food down in the picnic basket.
she brushes her hands over her purple sundress, looking at him as he sat down and began to spread out the food for them. “wow, baby. you really thought of everything didn’t you?” she chuckles as she sits down next to him on the picnic blanket.
“of course, anything for my girl.” he says with a sweet smile in her direction as he gets wine out of the basket and two glasses. my girl…jesus, if he’s trying to make me melt, it’s working. she thinks as she watches him uncork the wine bottle, and pour them both red wine into the glasses.
“i know, you spoil me, leon. but still…” she trails off as she looks over at him, she reaches over the blanket and grabs onto his hand. she watches as the subtle breeze blows his dirty blonde hair over his blue eyes and his forehead.
he rolls his eyes playfully and scoots closer to her on the blanket, squeezing her hand back. “don’t argue with me. it’s in your best interest.” he says with a small lopsided smirk as he hands her one of the glasses of wine. she accepts and smiles back at him, sipping on the wine in her free hand.
“fine. i won’t.” she says with a small roll of her eyes, grinning at him as she swallowed the wine. letting it slide down her throat. they stayed in silence for a while, just enjoying the sounds of nature, the breeze that blowed softly and made the leaves rustle in the trees above them.
she let him dote on her a little more, still feeling that anxious bubbling in her stomach that had been occurring since last night. the note, the proposal that had yet to happen. she felt her body get amped up and she was trying not to give her hopes up.
she sipped on her wine, looking over at him as he stared off into the pond a little ways in front of them. she admired him like this, when he wasn’t looking at her. he was deep in thought, in his head and she could almost see the gears turning in his mind.
“thank you, leon.” she says as she snaps out of her daze of staring at him. she didn’t think she could ever not want to stare, admire him like a piece of art in a museum. he lets his head turn her way, looking directly at her, a gentle smile on his boyish features.
“no need to thank me. i wanted to do something special for you.” he says as he reaches across the blanket and rubs his hand over her bare knee. she nods and swallows more nerves, “i don’t need to thank you, but im going to anyways.” she giggles.
he just shakes his head with a teasing grin on his face, he doesn’t mind this. sitting here with her and knowing where it’s going. he almost feels like this can’t be real, sitting here with her. the weather’s perfect and this day is even better.
they continue to just sit together on the picnic blanket, eating and sipping on their wine. they just talk and snuggle up next to each other on the blanket.
eventually the sun starts to set, painting the sky in a beautiful pink and red hue. it almost looks like a painting and she watches it with almost admiration. he knows this is the time, the ring in his pocket burning a hole through his jeans.
she keeps her gaze trained on the sky, not even noticing that he’s staring at her with admiration. he swallows his fears, his nerves and everything that could potentially stop him from doing this.
“your so beautiful, you know that?” he starts as he looks over her features. her gaze only temporarily looking over at him, a blush coating her cheeks. this isn’t how he had planned it, but he’s gonna do this differently.
“of course you know that, i tell you all the time how amazing, beautiful and sweet you are. even to people who don’t deserve your kindness.” he says as his blue eyes stay trained on her, she smiles and bites her lip in bashfulness.
she knows something is happening, but she lets it happen. she doesn’t care…not if it’s a promise to make her happy for the rest of their lives.
“your the best thing that’s ever happened to me,” he continues as he looks at her, turning his body a little towards her on the picnic blanket. the ring feels like an anchor in his pocket, keeping him tethered to the moment here with her.
“and i don’t think i’ll ever find anyone better then you, that’s honesty. your the best that’s ever going to happen to me.” he says as he looks deep into her eyes, her eyes blinking back at him as she feels her heart start to pound in her ribcage.
“and i would be a fucking fool if i went on another two years and didn’t show you how much you mean to me.” he says as he fists the ring in his pocket. she feels her heart swell and her eyes water. the smile spreading on her face is the rare kind.
“what are you…?” she says with a small look of disbelief on her face, her smile widening and the crystal of her eyes staring back at him.
he smiles with a small blink of his blue eyes that are now crystallizing over as well, he pulls his palm out of his pocket, opening it up between them to brandish a engagement ring.
she blinks her tears away, raising a hand over her mouth, trying to somewhat hide her shock. “leon…” she looks between the ring in his palm and then his eyes. this was much better then what was written on that crumpled sheet of paper.
“i love you so fucking much, i would do anything for you, to you and with you. only if you’ll let me, forever. please marry me. let me love you forever, let me wake up to you every morning. it would be the greatest honor i could ever have.” he says as he gestures the ring in his outstretched palm.
he looks at her with hopeful and love filled eyes as he does this. she doesn’t even have words, she expected it. but not like this…
this was definitely better.
and he was the love of her life, she couldn’t say no to him, not in a million years. she couldn’t dream of turning him down. of declining his proposal because he’s her happiness. even from two years ago when they met to now…
her body and mind want him the same, love him the same. she knows it will never change. not when it comes to him and just everything he does for her.
“yes…” she says as she sniffles away tears, feeling the breeze in the park billow her hair. the swans swimming idly in the pond in front of them. the sun setting in a beautiful sunset that paints the sky. he blinks at her, he doesn’t think he heard her right for a second.
“did you say…?” she laughs and looks at him, “i said yes. i’ll marry you.” she says as she feels more tears leak down her flushed cheeks. he smiles widely and grabs her hand shakily, his face coated in tears of happiness too.
he slips the ring onto her ring finger and strokes his thumb over her knuckles. he slides his free hand up to cup her jaw, rubbing the tears that slid from her eyes. “oh god, i love you.” he says in a trance as he looks at her.
“i love you too.” she says back to him, catching him in his trance of looking at her. she feels the ring on her ring finger, making its home there. she feels like she’s on cloud nine right now. he pulls her face towards him and presses a kiss to her lips.
she returns it and kisses him back, her hand, now ring clad, holds onto his face as she deepens the kiss. she doesn’t think she could ever be happier then she was right now.
in this moment with him. not a thing matters and her mind and body are full of him. she feels so consumed by him and his love that she can’t even explain it.
she’ll be wrapped in him forever and she can’t bring herself to care if she is. because at least she’s happy, happy and in love.
forever.
Tumblr media
leons letter:
Tumblr media
taglist: @heartsforvin
(go to this post to join the taglist, pls reblog and follow for more, my asks are open in my bio. i love you all <3)
Tumblr media
501 notes · View notes