#just like it’s nice to be not alone in my queerness

[nothorses]

Story about what zero trans unity does to a mother fucker:

I remade my tumblr account like 6 months ago and only follow friends so far and one of the friends unknowingly shares a lot of stuff with transandrophobic views shoved in... actually I think they might know but.. eugh..

I've also been have a lot of man guilt recently? After seeing post after post about men not knowing the female experience and it's sus if you see trans men together in public with no trans women with them,, I've started feeling guilty over relating to trans women's posts about transness - especially one about how when trans women don't pass they're not treated like men, they're treated like their gender is "faggot". I do pass as a man, but I am not treated like the men around me are. Whenever a trans woman talks about how people treat her in boy mode I swear I have stories that line up with those experiences to a T ... joke unintended.

So I've been feeling like shit and then I remembered that your blog exists and genderkoolaid's blog exists and that uhh fuckinnn that one with wolf in the name,, and I've been reading through your blog and just. Joy. I am overfilled with joy. You do touch on a lot of issues are saddening, but it still fills me with a sense of joy that people are actually discussing it. The only trans man related stuff I saw before was about how we can't really be trusted, with the odd "trans men are men" added in there sometimes. But, so, yeah. Your blog reminds me that I belong and that is nice.

I am kinda isolated right now so I have no access to irl queer community, but once I am able to leave I am on the search for trans unity irl! Thank you for existing!

I'm sorry to hear you've been dealing with that! You're definitely not alone in those feelings or experiences; that's exactly why I started talking about this stuff in the first place, and I still encounter quite a bit of it.

This isn't a new conversation by any means, and I'm so glad to see more and more people engaging in it in more serious and thoughtful ways than I have any knowledge of happening before. This corner of the internet is small, but I've been hearing about and seeing real-world change from it, and that's incredibly encouraging. I hope it keeps up. I'm so excited for us!

Thank you for reaching out with your gratitude, it's really appreciated. 💙 And thanks @genderkoolaid for being fantastic as well :)

#good asks

[lesbianwithchainsaws]

Being queer and neurodivergent is great and all until you're with relatives and you watch other people and feel like an outcast in your own family

#extra fun that i cant exactly tell my therapist that being queer is one of the reasons i feel this way #because peoples opinions on queer people here generally arent good #idk sometimes it feels like I dont belong anywhere and feel really alone even though i know im not #its just the way other people live and do things seems genuinely impossible for me. i dont get how they do it #sometimes wish i wasnt who i am ngl #can someone please tell me something nice. my self esteem is buried deep underground right now and i feel not great #sorry for bringing vent posts here on tumblr. i just genuinely dont have many people or places that I feel okay talking about this stuff #especially no one irl i feel okay telling all this to #and dm'ing people is also really difficult. i genuinely struggle to do it #vent post

[reanimatedgh0ul]

been talking more to my older brother lately and you guys i found out he's autistic like as somebody who's been struggling w figuring out if i have adhd or not and him telling he figured he was after consulting his therapist and talking his friend abt diagnosing himself it's REALLY comforting to hear that <3

#i literally was like WOW CONGRATS MAN I'M GLAD YOU WERE ABLE TO REALIZE THAT AND GET THE HELP THAT YOU NEED FOR THAT :''') #idk there's just smth nice abt knowing that i'm not alone in my family when it comes to being possibly neurodivergent bc like w being queer #i thought i was the only one but i'm not and that's a rlly nice to know that i now relate to my brother in a way i didn't even though i did #robi rambles

[bibiana112]

Okay, so what is we know the devil and should I watch it? Because your reblog spam you do every so often has me intrigued and I would like to hear you talk about it if you want to

We Know The Devil is a short little indie game about three kids on a summer camp for "bad kids" that is clearly a metaphor for conversion camps and they are in charge of beating the devil with their magical girl radios, the devil is also clearly a metaphor for queerness since it's something they insist is "just a phase" and something the camp goers are encouraged to shame others for "letting into their hearts". It's a visual novel style html game iirc, the prose is really interesting, super weird and informal but full of meaning once you get the full picture and I love how the pov in it shifts depending on the ending and the segments after 3AM just feel like very poignant poetry I wanna chew on it, and the choices you get to make is which one of the trio of protagonists gets together in the end! It's marketed sort of as a choose your own ship kind of thing, and it totally definitely doesn't have heart wrenching character exploration of how it feels to be the one left out in that sort of trio dynamic, totally not :)

It really is super short and accessible, found a really good playthrough of it too if you'd still like someone making voices for the characters, I think I got an ending in less than two hours and all the endings take around the same amount of time, and there are four endings total. I call it the poly lesbian body horror game because it has very light but still eery vibes and because of that I wanted to save it to play on Halloween but I'm gay and full of gay thoughts at the moment so ended up playing it again this week akshsk still at only 2/4 endings though so I'll keep reblog spamming sporadically lol

#I listened to Daughter of God and The Dawn that Gxd Misplaced one too many times on my way to college #all the characters have very well defined perspectives and beliefs and motifs and it's just exactly the kind of thing I like #few very well defined very colorful characters (despite the game being in black and white) #those songs reminded me of that because ugh the amount of running themes from each character are so good and well illustrated in them #made me miss the source material #I think people perceive me a lot like Jupiter but I relate most to Neptune btw #that's just something I've been itching to write about #but I don't know maybe I'll get into it later? maybe not #but people have seen me try my best at like regular social things and school but when it comes to church things and moral goodness #then I don't think anyone who knows me would argue that the way I tend to view those things is more reminiscent of Neptune's approach #never had any internalized bs about being queer I just wish people would leave me alone instead of trying to fit me into their mold #and I don't know how to be nice about it even if they ''mean well'' #especially if they mean well actually fuck that #so yeah <3 #I got into this game because someone made a classpect analysis of them <3 #yo I did make the google forms about the aspect test to send you I just forgot about it. #just lwt me know if you still wanna take it and I'll send you the link •3• #a tag for asks #we know the devil #I need to put my tags for that game in order holy hell

[running-in-the-dark]

we viewed an apartment today, it looks nice and everything, but the reason I really want to move there is because the other tenants in the house are a gay couple.

#actually my husband viewed it alone but I've seen pictures #but yeaah that's. honestly like 80% of the reason I want to live there #this is a rural area okay I don't know any queer people irl 😭 it'd just be nice. #i mean. I'd probably be too afraid to talk to them because I'm not good at talking to my neighbours (it's terrifying okay 😭) but still...

[kayspaceprince]

.

#my stuff #we're having another one of those days buds #too religious for the queers and too queer for the religious #i kinda hate that i have to shrug off so much when around other queer people bc like. yes i know i see where the hurt is coming from and #it's SO valid but also #my church community is really important to me. my faith is important to me. i would prefer if you went after what is actually wrong #w us Christianity instead of quippy blanket statements #like im never GONNA say that bc i get it #but i have made a habit of asap in a convo w new queers slipping in something about my home church #but then ALSO a classmate who like. im fond of #he's chill. we were never friends but he still comes to all the art openings and we chat #and i KNEW he was catholic but again. he's always been nice #posted TODAY of all days something about how the REAL meaning of the rainbow is a 'promise not pride' and im just #i'm tired #i'm also tempted to dm him and be like: i think you were hacked bro :( someone's posting BULLSHIT on your facebook #or just unfriend him #it's getting all dark and stormy here and i'm trying to work up the hype to go to my fav local bar's pride event but i would be going alone

[pinkfey]

i have also discovered that in addition to my lesbian coworker the guy who is in charge of our climate literacy program is gay 🥳

#this is. this is the lgbtq office. #i don’t mean to be pointing it out so often #it’s just that considering my family’s intended isolation of me it’s nice to know i’m not like. alone?? #i haven’t been able to casually interact in person with queer ppl in so so long #anyways.txt

[ironmanstan]

.

#sometimes i wonder if i should just go by maryam professionally #i feel like this would extremely lower my chances of getting outed on accident lmao. #all my branding is centered on my renegaedz username anyway like if i switched over itd alter pretty much nothing. #my dad simultaneously being so neglectful but such a fucking busybody and all my transphobic irls literal only reason id need to do this. #in theory i would not have to have literal separate art identities to keep up the facade but then i would have to play a balancing game #but then this means letting everyone i know irl into my little zone lmaooo i hate everyone . #i hate so many of my irls lol you all make me so fucking mad and make me hate being trans so fucking much sometimes. #why do i have to compromise on who i am just so i can fucking exist #'what if i compromise on how i present myself so i dont need to worry about being open about my art ventures' #all this so i can be open to people who i went through hell for over a decade to #connect to who rejected me already just because im autistic . everyday im violent. #people who would want me to fucking die and spit on my existence forever if they knew i didnt hate gay people #let alone that im fucking trans haha ? hahaha yeah so true i should suck up forever and vie for the attention of people #who hate me already and keep me around to be nice #i hate everyone so fucking much sometimes honestly. you all act like youre on some moral warfront fighting against westerners pushing queer #as if historically queerness was pushed out of muslim communities and south asia because of FUCKING COLONIZATION #i fkjhckjhk يا الله the people on this earth are in their stupidity arc #i hate u all i hate u all . acting like we must fight to protect our communities but then turn a blind eye to how u hurt ur communities. #there aint no fucking queer epidemic and even if it WAS haram you know what is worse? fucking LYING. go worry about THAT #vent #sorry i am so insane rn i have suddenly gotten so mad for no reason lmao

[spoofymcgee]

i am tired of being nice. i do want to go apeshit.

#day in and day out i am nice and friendly and diplomatic and polite #and i'm so fucking done with it #i'm tired to looking like someone who agrees with your stupid fucking homophobic opinions #i'm tired of my first thought being 'oh wait but look at it from her perspective ' #i'm tired of being fucking pg 13 #i am a PERSON #i am three words away from not being appropriate for your nine year old #'non standard family dynamics'. 'you get what i mean #dont you?' #no i fukcing don't maam #i am queer as fuck #i am listening to the indigo girls as you talk #i will. hopefully. have a nonstandard family dynamics someday soon. so fuck off and leave me alone #i just. i am so fucking tired. #rant #spoof.txt

[jackienautism]

maybe i’m just being a Bitch about it but like … is anyone sad at how lesbian is mainly used as an umbrella term? like. we don’t even really have our own term

#lesbian #mine #text #like. i honestly don’t really care that gay and lesbian are used as umbrella terms. i’m just #thinking in the sense of like. we don’t even have our own term that encapsulates our experiences #specifically #and i GET sexuality and lesbianism can’t be fit in a simple box. but we all have that one thing in common. yknow? #i also get that we’re meant to be a community. but sometimes it’s nice to have that. Label. yknow? #and that often erases the use of the word bisexual. but i can’t really speak on that bc i wouldn’t understand personally #but it’s just …. idk fnsjfjd i get it doesn’t fuckin matter in the real world but gosh …….. #being a lesbian can be so ….. alienating. idk #and i don’t really like talking abt shit like this. let alone publícly. but. yeah #to end on a nice note. saw a comedy act tonight and i really liked it :] #got me thinking abt stuff fnsjfnd she’s made a bunch of comments abt being queer and being asian and stuff #sorry if this makes me seem bitchy. i’m just. tired #there’s inherently so much dumb fucking discourse around our identity and. gosh. augh #it’s TIRING #my thoughts #[emma mountebank voice] ok :) i’m done #misc tag

[capfalcon]

my manager is a gay semi very supportive dude but i still!!!! hate! him lmao

dont rb

#hes always saying he appreciates me and that stuff #and its obviously nice that u know. we're both queer #actually im like 99% sure that 3 out of 5 of us are queer #my manager and my boss i think are both queer #which is cool considering that like. they're older than me and respected ppl in their fields and all that #anyway #my manager is so fucking bad at his job thi #i still have yet to discern what exactly he Does all day #hes just. so inefficent and annoying when it comes to actually doing our jobs #also hes. always a little Too personal #like telling me stuff about his husband or how he used to go drinking and stuff and its not like #friendly and nice #i didnt Ask i dont want to Know #also he always makes us do these dumb fuckin icebreakere before every meeting and hypothetically it might be nice #but realistically im not telling u what i did this weekend #this is my first ever corporate job so idk the etiquette #but its like awkward when ur manager whos like older than u by like 2 decades asks what u did that weekend #and the answer is smth u absolutely should not tell ur boss #and even when i Am doing smth appropriate for work or whatever its like sir. leave me alone #i dont feel like being 'i did laundry and i planned my week' #its just so ughhhhh

[yousaytomato]

Being recognisably queer obviously has its ups and downs, but in general it brings me so much joy

Like, today, a cute enby working in Lush, named Venus, told me "I like your whole vibe"

What can even compete with that kind of validation

#woes of emily #like if i were not visibly queer. what compliment could even compare to that #like. they were in Lush. literally one of The safe queer working environments #like. Lush obvs are not the perfect company they pretend to be. but certainly they are. and have been. a safe working space #for queer young adults. for a long time now #anyway i wish i wasnt so awkward #because i felt so disgusting and sweaty and overwhelmed. im sorry i was so awkward venus i liked your whole vibe too 😭 #i did go back later but that was a mistake because i was tired and venus wasn't there and i kind of just wanted to peacefully browse #but there was an employee who was definitely not picking up on my - im being polite and i understand you have to do this #but genuinely i do not need help and would like to be left alone #Because they just kept asking me questions and i kept saying 'no thats okay. no idk what i want. im just looking hah.' 😭😭 #anyway im so sleepy. it was a long day #i didnt even buy anything in lush lol #genuinely though. i was thinking about that interaction for the rest of the day #sometimes being seen is nice and warm and safe

[justagaycryptid]

Ngl I/Me/Myself is the absolute WORST song that could have gone viral for Will especially on tiktok of all places because it is an incredibly nuanced song and tiktok users are not particularly known for their understandings of nuance

#just thinking about this earlier #and really this goes for social media in general #but I'm pretty sure it blew up on tiktok #when will sang that he was afraid of his fans in um i mean its kind of a lot its just like yeah me too dude sorry about that one #ngl a lot of will wood fans are some of the absolute worst music fans I have ever seen #right up there with pre-hiatus fall out boy fans and mitski fans #i'm sure there's more those are just the people I am most familiar with though I don't listen to mitski #something something lets put the worst of will wood and mitski fans in a room together and see them fuckin kill each other or whatever #but damn will has some absolute shitty fans like I feel so bad for this man he literally cannot catch a break #like holy shit leave him alone! #hopefully he has a nice hiatus because god knows hes earned a break #and yeah this was a while ago but point still stands #and yeah most of his songs are pretty nuanced but this one is probably more of a sensitive and personal one #also it's so fucking weird how bad people want will to be queer #like I don't know if he is for sure I think I saw something about him being mspec but I don't know if its true #and even if it is it's really none of my buisness #and holy shit not every gnc person is trans #though I have seen him joke about this one so thankfully he doesn't seem too bothered by it anymore #that or he's got a good sense of humor about it #but holy shit it's really just one thing after another for him #will wood #shouting into the void

[motziedapul]

Perhaps the funniest thing that could have happened lately was that this anticapitalist cafe and community space near my place was shutting down near the end of May - but because so many Texas and Florida conservatives celebrated it online, the place got a huge donation to keep operating

It's a great place. It functions mostly like a regular cafe but it has this free/pay what you want drip coffee for anyone who wants it, free bathroom use, and it stocks indie merch and books on antifascist, queer, leftist, socialist, indigenous topics. I've met a lot of awesome people there.

Its very existence enrages conservatives, and anarchocapitalists who tried to claim it only to be shown the middle finger by its anticapitalist owner, who is an all around nice dude (and a fellow Elden Ring fan)

If you can toss a coin to its continued operation, please do! Upon request from their followers on insta they opened a Gofundme. Even just a few dollars will be a huge help.

#signal boost #The Anarchist #the Anarchist Cafe #the Anarchist Toronto #Toronto #community space #anticapitalist

[arachne-is-hela-cool]

I bitch and moan about the german language’s need to gender everything, but this weekend an older trans woman called me “mein Lieber” and i will never be the same

#this was my first time talking to an older trans person and holy shit #you guys weren’t lying when you said finding elder queer people makes you see how not-alone you are in your queerness #she was so nice too #introduced me to her wife by saying #i found someone like me #ahh #it was at an event where i was semi-back-in-the-closet #just cause there were lots of ppl i don’t know #and i don’t pass for shit #so i stopped trying #and just let people assume i’m a woman #but having someone there who actually understands why i’m still a dude #even in my skirt and long-ish hair #felt so fucking freeing #like hey i can breathe around this person

[ifeelfreewithoutmyshoes]

I think… that I’m just gonna wallow a bit about this season and then do what I did when wayward son came out: ignore it’s existence until part three comes out with a happy ending

#iiiiim just not the biggest fan of this season I think #and I’m not a fan of when the first part of media has a pretty happy ending #and then a part two and three is added with more drama #when the first part stands pretty nicely alone as a chill cosy fun piece of fiction #I’ll just air my grievance and if this ends up in the tag I’m sorry #I didn’t really like the fact that there was next to no plot going on #the other characters from season one had completely disappeared #I honestly didn’t think the two shipowners had that much chemistry? #like their romance fell flat to me and I didn’t see the point in giving one a partner already really #and I think I just really liked having zira and Crowley be very open for interpretation #like yes I read fanfic where they have romantic confessions and all that #but in the show I loved how they obviously loved eachother but they could just as easily be queer platonic #and I sent my friend a rant with why even though they can still be aroace with kissing it just takes something away from me #which just leads me back to how I just really preferred season one #I think my biggest problem was the plot tho it was as interesting to watch as a whole simply #but I also adore Zira and Crowley and having more stuff with them and their emotional problems #I’m just never in a huge need of sequels sometimes when I like the first part fine #I guess that’s the worst of it #me #I still sometimes kinda ignore the two books after carry on bc it stand alone fine to me #it’s a fun cosy angsty read like a fanfic and honestly that’s all I needed